#and adrien just says ‘okay then sorry for bothering you’ 😊

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

I love that Adrien takes everything Marinette says at face value. Like, Marinette told me that she thought I was a statue and proceeded to give a grand declaration of love and try to kiss me, but she says she doesn't have any feelings for me so clearly she loves someone else 😔😢🥺. Or, Marinette just happened to be in Shanghai visiting her family at the exact moment that I took a trip there, what a coincidence ☺️👉👈. Or even, Alya told me that Marinette said she wasn't here right now and she's telling me she's really fast at going back and forth, what an amazing talent 😊❤️💕. And of course, Oh, Marinette needs to go shave her socks now? Sounds like a great way to spend her time, what a wonderful fact to learn about my beloved friend girlfriend 🥰😄❤️😍

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

Hello. I ❤️ your blog especially your science kids. May I see where one of them calls Marinette out like how Quagmire does it. Sorry for the awkwardness. This is my first time typing to somebody. 😊😊

Yes, honey! Yes! I have been waiting for this!

Simon, my favorite Irish tech geek, take the stand!

Marinette: Well, you don't need to look for somebody new. I'll hang out with you guys.

Marc: Yeah, you know, I don't think that's gonna work out, Marinette, 'cause of the whole Simon thing.

Marinette: What Simon thing?

Marc: Oh, you know, just that he hates you.

Marinette: Simon hates me?

Marc: Hates you.

Marinette: I... I don't get it. Why... why wouldn't Simon like me?

Marc: Because he thinks you're annoying. Like people who never shut up about their pets.

—

Marinette: Hey, Simon, what a coincidence. You and me just runnin' into each other. How, how ya doin'?

Simon: Fine.

Marinette: So… *Noticed Simon’s aunt at the checkout* Is that your mom? She’s beautiful.

Simon: That's my aunt, Marinette. My mother is dead to me, as is my father, and I hope they rot in their prison cells.

Marinette: Oh, God. I'm... I'm really sorry.

Simon: I got a cousin who beat her husband. Wanna ask me about her, too?

—

Alya: Hey, what are you getting all dressed up for?

Marinette: I'm treating Simon to a night out.

Alix: Really? I thought he hated you. How'd you convince him to go?

Marinette: I tricked him. Sent him a phony card. He thinks he's going on a romantic date with Denise.

Myléne: But instead, you're going to show up.

Marinette: You got it.

Rose: Yikes.

Juleka: That's a recipe for disappointment.

—

Marinette: I'll bet you got... how do those things work?

Simon: What? My music videos? How does a music video work?

Marinette: Yeah.

Simon: … You want me to sit here and explain to you how a music video works?

Marinette: I don't know. Yeah.

Simon: You want to maybe just go?

Marinette: Simon, come on, I'm really trying hard here.

Simon: Who asked you to try hard?

Marinette: Nobody, but all... I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?!

Simon: … Okay. I'll tell you…. You are the worst person I know. You simped after Adrien while you were dating Luka and while Adrien was dating Kagami. The guy was writing you a song, gave you his favorite guitar pick, gave you free therapy, and that was how you repaid him? And to add insult to injury, you rubbed your love for Adrien right in his face. And you're so insensitive. You basically tried to kick Luka out of Kitty Section and make Adrien the lead guitarist? What the fuck? And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this perfect girl who can do no wrong when all you are is a hypocrite, liar, and a word that’d make the Priest blush. Yeah, I lie; who hasn’t? At least I come clean about it in the end. I don't go on about how I hate liars and then stalk Lila trying to lie her way into Adrien’s pants, and then brag about how I’m some perfect angel trying to look out for everyone. You’re not a perfect angel. You’re a spoiled little, manipulative brat. You use those stupid dough eyes, tears, and sob stories about how much you love Adrien to get people to go along with your stupid plans. God, you make me sick! And you only delude yourself by thinking you're the greatest thing since slice bread, when you’re honestly just as bad as Chloé and Lila. Actually, you know, I should have known Denise didn't write me that note. Yeah, they actually have the guts to say things to my face without stammering like you do around Adrien when you’ve known the guy for almost a year! And I think what I hate most about you is your hypocrisy when it comes to Adrien’s love life, how he "deserves better," how Chloé is a spoiled brat only after Adrien for his looks, how Kagami is too controlling. Well, what have you done to prove that you’re not like them? I’ve only heard you obsess over his looks and “perfection.” Never heard you once talk about interests that Gabriel doesn’t force on him. You wanna get to know the guy? Talk to him! And, by the way, knowing Lila is a liar doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Yeah, I know about the Lila situation! And I don’t care! You wanna basically ruin your relationships with your friends by screaming in their faces, “Lila’s a liar!! Believe me, because I’m better than her!” Go ahead! Who the hell are you to act as if though you were in the right? Your impulsiveness in trying to expose her got you expelled, which isn't nearly as bad as how you treated your parents! Did you ever pay them back for what was meant to be a family trip to Shanghai? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it… If you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Marinette. You're just a sad, pathetic bore… *Sighs* Well, see ya, Marinette. Thanks for the fucking steak. *Leaves*