#and also i always felt like i was good at like...symbolism...metaphors...parallels...this kinda stuff
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end-orfino · 2 years ago
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It just all feels more pointless now. I think i lost some of the spirit. I dont know if its temporary or how to get it back
#found myself less passionate about my ocs and their stories and about making them real one day#but not in a good way#its not letting me go of my perfectionism or whatever instead its just like. whats the point. theyre not that good anyways#theyre as in the stories#im increasingly aware of the plot holes and the parts that are kind of held together with string in order to make the plot make sense and--#--im not sure if anyone ever could get as passionate about them as i was?#especially since like. *i* dont feel as passionate abt them as i said.#my main baby my main oc project that i cherished and hoped to make real in some way now feels like i should keep it private.#the other one that i was hoping to make into my first long term project remains unfinished plot-wise and i dont feel motivated to work--#--on it further#the one that i think has an alright plot that i could share is just kinda in the bg#and also i always felt like i was good at like...symbolism...metaphors...parallels...this kinda stuff#i felt like my stories were something you could dig into#now it feels like i overestimated them#and theyre actually painfully simple and just. idk. feels like theyre not that good#maybe its because i recently didnt have time to work on them?#and fell into a fandom that has a painfully not-deep story where i also often feel like other ppl in the community dont want me there#maybe i gotta get away from that lol#but it doesnt feel like its gonna help. idk what will.#all of this isnt giving me any relief its just making me feel empty and like i thought too greatly of myself#bcs i still want to Make things and stories and now i just feel like im lacking at that??
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brakken · 8 years ago
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Finished Before the Storm Episode 2, thoughts below.
Hmmm.
Hmmmmmm.
I have to applaud Deck Nine for their commitment. Their effort to make this game a valuable addition to LiS is noticed and appreciated. This could easily have turned out as shallow fan-pandering, but they’re clearly wanting the game to be something the fans of the original can connect with beyond that.
I’m just... hmm. I’m just not sure it’s quite hitting the mark yet.
When it was announced to be split into three episodes, and that Chloe would be 16 years old, I speculated that each episode would be set a year apart - leaving us with a 19-year-old Chloe, soon to be reunited with Max.
I don’t know if this would have been my preference, as I’m not too keen on when prequels lead right into the original - but I am feeling that making the episodes daily like the first game is causing some clunky, rushed stuff in the narrative. Rachel and Chloe met only a day ago and they’re already preparing to run away together. On its own this wouldn’t be too much of a problem, but when we know they’ll be stuck in Arcadia Bay for another three years - it seems oddly early to be writing in this plot point. We’ll see. The final episode could stick the landing. This is my main hangup at the moment, though.
I hope they chill with their callforwards. I’d been predicting there would be nods to ‘hella’ and Frank’s beans since they’re sort of the big memes in the fandom. The reveal of her car was a nice surprise, but the one that took it too far for me was her hat. I get they are just cute little easter eggs (the hat discovery seems to be optional) - but they get a bit on my nerves when they’re too blatant or excessive. It’s an epidemic in prequels to turn inconsequential details into these crucial tentpoles of the character’s past, erasing years of implied history in the process. The junkyard was originally just Chloe and Rachel’s hideaway (w/ added importance in the later episodes). It is now additionally where Chloe got her car, where she got her hat, where she came up with her nickname for David, and where her dad’s car-wreck was taken, making Arcadia Bay feel suddenly much smaller and emptier. I’m expecting we’ll see her get at least a strip of blue in her hair by game’s end - and I’m totally there for that. But I think I’ll be a little disheartened if they force in any more 'this is how she got this’ stuff.
-spoilers ahead-
The scene with Drew, Mikey and Damon left me a bit torn on whether I liked or disliked its similarities to LiS ep. 4, wherein we sneak into a dorm room, get caught, and witness someone get beaten up on the floor. I think I liked this scene better (those closeups on the tabletop figures were v good), but it’s sort of weird to set those events up in a similar fashion when there aren’t really any meaningful parallels between the characters involved.
One of the things that bugged me about the original game was the text messages being used too obviously as ‘consequence reminders’. I’m appreciating that while that is still present in BtS, it’s coming across more naturally. The texts from Steph and Drew after Mikey's injury felt like the characters had genuine reasons for writing what they did.
On the flipside - recall how I said that I liked that the Backtalk feature was optional? Well, yeah... we were forced to do one in this episode. That wasn’t... fun. 
Also I flubbed it, haha.
I really enjoyed the Tempest segment even though I felt the game railroaded me into it somewhat. They seem a little confused whether they want to focus on the fire or the storm as their primary metaphor. Very crafty of them to pick a scene that mentions both and also has underlying symbolism for our main characters. And heck was I surprised to see Sean Prescott - makes me appreciate that Deck Nine isn’t trying to tiptoe around continuity.
I think I’m happy with how they’re portraying Rachel so far. The original game was always emphasising how much she meant to Chloe, but kept fairly vague on how much Rachel reciprocated. And so far she feels appropriately intoxicating but potentially damaging, without villainising her beyond repair. It helps a lot that her story thread is kept in constant attention. I found this was fumbled a little with Chloe in the first game - in LiS ep.2 her abrasiveness took too much of a spotlight away from her vulnerability and it was harder to sympathise with her. This happens occasionally with Rachel, but not to the same degree thusfar. And the implications in the latest dream of William make it seem to be intentional to some extent. 
But, that doesn’t make it any easier to make decisions... 
... I’m doing my best to get into this younger Chloe’s head, and it hurts to go down roads that I know are damaging to her later on. In the previous episode, I was worried my choices might have locked out of a romance with Rachel. By the time I got to the opportunity in this one, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted it! Yet I still chose the kiss, because it felt in line with where poor-young-awkward Chloe is at. 
I think I miss Max.
Also, we got snow. Snow...! (I mean, I suspect it could have been ash from the fire but nonetheless I appreciate its vague nature and what it’s alluding to.) I don’t know how far they’re planning to elaborate on this but by gum am I happy for it. It’s really cathartic to have these lore hints after the weight put on Max and her powers in the first game. It hasn’t confirmed or debunked anything, but just connecting Rachel more to the storm is what I need.
I think I’ve been subconsciously avoiding speculation since it got me in hot water in the original game, but it’s been kind of nice not guessing the plot direction. The mom reveal took me by surprise. Kind of a tropey moment, but interested to see how it plays out anyway.
The previous episode to a degree managed to capture both the grander narrative aspects and the calmer, quiet moments of the original game. This episode hasn’t fully delivered on that and feels a bit lacking by comparison, while not out-and-out bad in its own right. Also, kinda waiting for them to do something with Eliot - so far he’s pretty much been a BtS-equivalent of Warren, which is equal parts odd and amusing to me.
Fave moments from this episode:
-Graffiti in the bathroom. Fun opening.
-Trying to climb onto the boat in the junkyard. For some reason this made me really laugh.
-Listening to the argument outside Drew’s room. Good tension.
-BS-ing through the Tempest performance. Fun to play, interesting to witness. Dorky Chloe is best Chloe.
-The kiss. I felt guilty about choosing it, but it was a pretty good kiss.
It was oddly tricky to get my thoughts down for this one. Probably from having only played through it once - the details are a bit harder to grasp. We’ll see how it goes with episode 3 once it’s out. Golly, this is the first time I’ve ever had to wait for the release of an episode, haha. 
If you read this far, thanks as always! Here is a Chloe.
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