#and apparently that is ALSO of shakespeare origin :^]

[thegreatyin]

What, precisely, is fallen London, and how can I play it? Ive been told it's a browser game, will it work on my phones browser or only my computer's?

SWEEPS EVERYTHING OFF MY DESK. SLAMS MY HANDS ON THE COUNTER. you're in luck because advertising this game is apparently my specialty.

fallen london is a free browser game that works on anything with an internet connection!! laptops, phones, tablets, the decade old 3ds you have stashed in the back of your closet- if you can open a web browser, you can run fallen london. the UI obviously differs between desktop and mobile, and desktop has the benefit of extensions that can make your life marginally easier, but that's all a strictly optional affair.

as for the game's actual contents; fallen london is a text-based horror game closely reminiscent of classic "choose your own adventure" books. you play as a new arrival to an alternate history version of victorian london that now flourishes in a deep, dark, marvelous (and more than slightly eldritch!) cavern known as "the neath", with the goal of making your name and ultimately pursuing one of the four possible ambitions that brought you here to begin with. along the way you encounter a wide variety of strange and inexplicable things, including but not limited to;

men with the faces of squid (who are not truly men)

actual real soul-stealing devils (who originate from Actual Real Hell, which is also london's next door neighbor)

snakes that are eternally bound to the realm beyond mirrors (who have an infamous feud with sapient talking cats)

treacheries of time, law, and all that which the gods hold dear (including the ability to bypass death itself)

sirens who are convinced they're dead (in a place where, as stated, death is easily bypassed)

sentient landmasses that get REALLY annoyed if you don't pay your taxes on time (and are also single and ready to mingle)

fabric that is not fabric (which is held in quite high value by certain giant bat monsters)

spiders that eat eyeballs (but are, fortunately, easily distracted by shakespeare)

genres of colors you didn't think possible (in seven fantastical flavors!)

batkissing (not canonically, but in our hearts)

batfucking (this is, somehow, marginally more canon than the above thing)

batmarriage (no.)

batdivorce (in comically large spades)

The Hat Man (who's in love with and yearns to become like a sentient island)

gay people (a lot of them)

trans people (also a lot of them)

doomed love, in all possible forms (as well as those who try and collect it)

this thing (this thing)

and last- but certainly not least-

a pitiful hope that perhaps, just perhaps, all shall one day be well. (even when you know it won't be.)

it's a game with lore as deep as the ocean, and a staggering wordcount (4.5 million!) to boot. it's not perfect, but it's something i've grown to love deeply, and in my experience? if it doesn't click for you, that's understandable. but if it clicks for you, it really does click for you. i recommend it to anyone and everyone who so much as looks its way. who knows! it may just surprise you 🦇☀️🦀🌃

as a further incentive, here are some out-of-context items and excerpts:

as stated, you can play it right now for free at fallen london dot com. there is a subscription and a small bounty of microtransactions on offer if you want to support the development team, but at no point is this ever required, and you will be playing for years before you reach the end of stuff to accomplish. all major content updates are free and available to all players, and FOMO to this day remains virtually non-existent. as once again stated, the browser specs are non-existent. if you can run google, you can run fallen london.

so head on down!! give the neath a try!! follow admiralty orders and dump a bunch of bombs directly into the zee (underground sea) whilst accidentally waking up a giant grieving sea urchin that screams fire and violently pursues your demise!! (that's what we're all doing right now, anyway.)

if the browser game isn't for you, there's also other outlets with which to explore the universe. you can find the spinoff games Sunless Seas, Sunless Skies, and Mask of The Rose available to purchase right now on steam, and there's recently been a very successful kickstarter to adapt the game into a TTRPG. it looks very cool so far. im very very very excited for it :)

in lieu of having to come up with a conclusion for this ask, im instead going to direct you to the MoTR stupendium song (which you'll find linked below). it says far more and advertises far better than i could ever dream of. also, it's a straight bop, and "all ends/swords pens" has lived rent-free in my brain for months.

welcome to the neath, delicious friend. we hope you enjoy your stay ❤️

[jarita123]

Much Ado About Nothing was wonderful!

I saw Much Ado About Nothing twice, and I think it was worth to see it twice and I want more. It was such a brilliant production. I love theater and have seen many boring, bad productions of Shakespeare but this is how you introduce Shakespeare to new generation without destroying the original. I read a few reviews that is actually closer to what it looked like 400 years ago. Minus the confetti, modern clothes and disco/pop music :)

I read Jamie Lloyd never uses many props and his Romeo and Juliet and especially The Tempest had pretty bad reviews and reactions. But this? It was a huge stage and yet, it never felt empty. Those pink confetti were used so well! Stopped when it took darker turn. Everybody was almost constantly on stage, sometimes just sitting there. LOVED the dance sequences. Chairs were part of the performances.

And the part where Benedick is hiding when they are talking about Beatrice loving him? The most hilarious version I have seen. Tom jumping, rolling, kicking confetti, hiding under the floor. That was so hilarious! And then going from funny into tender, to surprise Beatrice IS the woman he always wanted and that she loves him. HIM? And Hayley really took Beatrice to the way that she is a bit damaged emotionally and the notion of Benedick loving her is a total shock to her. They had a fantastic cnemistry and I loved how they flirted with each other AND the audience. I want to see more of these two. Anywhere.

The whole cast was great, tbh, and I liked Hero and Claudio more than in, for example, Brannagh´s movie. I mean, Claudio is probably one of the biggest tools in Shakespeare´s plays but it was done in a smart way here. It was not that unlikely they could still love each other, even after what Claudio did to her. The whoie storyline with The Watch was cut and you cannot even tell. It is faster, makes it shorter and also, I always felt that part was not funny but a bit cringe (depending on actors but apparently, it is not necessary at all)

I saw some rumours already that this is going to Broadway and I can imagine why. It is cheerful, joyful, funny, you leave with a smile on your face, Tom is sexy as hell (and he knows there are some women in the audience just for him and plays around it hilariously). The theater was packed both days (Monday and Tuesday) and people loved it.

Attached photo is one I took from the second row. Look how happy they are!

[wisteria-lodge]

Hello!!! I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on Harry and Tom Riddle’s (or Voldemort’s) connections and parallels? I find their dynamic really fascinating and would love to hear your take on it, whether from a narrative, symbolic, or character-driven angle.

And if you’re comfortable sharing, what are your thoughts on Tomarry (or Tomarrymort)? Do you think it has the potential to be as compelling as the fans say it is? I’m considering diving into the ship but I honestly don’t know much about it or them so I have no idea what to look for or expect, and would love to hear a perspective from someone who’s blog and meta’s I really love and gravitate towards.

You know, I've never actually read a Tomarry fic in my life? I've only become properly aware of the Tomarries recently, as they reblog a lot of my Voldy stuff and generally leave excellent comments. I surprised myself by taking a Voldemort character analysis in a more Tomarry direction, and I've recently started following @saintsenara, who writes very intelligently about Tomarry, fairly often.

But like... enemies to lovers...

So I'm also a Shakespeare nerd. And the most compelling romantic setup I've ever seen in, anything? ever? comes about halfway through Coriolanus.

Okay. Coriolanus is this brilliant general. But in order to be this perfect symbol, he's dehumanized himself. He's everything to everybody, leaving himself strong, but empty. There's an attempt to use him as a political figure which backfires horribly, Coriolanus burns all his bridges and is exiled.

And he goes straight to the camp of his nemesis, Aufidius. After all, he has no identity outside of being Aufidius' enemy. He feels like he does authentically have some kind of emotional bond with Aufidius. He respects Aufidius. Coriolanus shows up at his door being like "I'm Martius Coriolanus. You'd be an idiot not to kill me right now. And if that is what you decide to do, I will completely accept that. I just don't have anywhere else to go."

and then Aufidius goes right into the gayest monolog in all of Shakespeare. and there is some stiff competition in that category. Different productions play Coriolanus' reaction differently. Like, here's the Tom Hiddleston production:

and here's the Ralph Fiennes production:

I apparently originally saved this as as "gaypanic.jpg." which is appropriate, but sad, because I think Gerard Butler's Aufidius is really into him.

My point is, if anyone knows a Tomarry fic which even a *fraction* of this energy... link me?

[speakyn]

I just finished watching Lucky Luke (2009) and.. my god what was this. My thoughts are all over the place

- the origin plot was very weak, like. Why? Why is his name fucking John? It's kinda cool they made him mixed, but I believe part of why Luke is such an interesting character is his origin we know nothing of. We don't know where he comes from, we don't know his parents, we don't know any other family, we know nothing, just like him. I'm pretty sure luke just spawned into existence at one point because god was like "this wild west is kinda fucked up, we need someone calm for balance"

- that song about luke at the beginning was an absolute banger

- Jolly and Luke in this movie was absolutely the best part. They were absolutely hilarious, I can really feel the "these two are inseparable" bond between them

- SO many people. Calamity, Jesse, Bill, Pat and at one point fucking Phil. The last one being the weakest one cause wtf was phil even doing there, there was literally no need for him to be there.

- nice how they mentioned luke stopped smoking (and once again they mock him for it)

- I found it pretty funny how the bad guys suddenly became good and it was - in a way - quite wholesome.

- good on Jesse for showing off he is cultured like bro kept reciting shakespeare and shit. like how much free time can you have. That said, his coat was GIGANTICALLY long

- Bill's actor was so fun to watch lol, man had the time of his life. They made him an adult, but it actually worked! I like how he still acted like a child

- While I didn't like that they made Calamity love Luke(can we just have a guy and a woman being friends and nothing more please), she was an ABSOLUTE ICON in this movie and I will not accept any slander. She was the GOAT in this entire movie. She beat up Luke. She is an angel, I love her

- W on this film for not including the Daltons for once

- It's hilarious how everyone went "I will kill Lucky Luke and no one else" as if Joe hasn't been claiming that title as the first one. Get in line, guys

- Whoever made this film CLEARLY was thirsting for Jean Dujardin(the actor of Luke), because bro couldn't make it more clear. Shirtless, got the shit beaten out of him(its giving clint eastwood in the dollars trilogy), traumatized, did I mention shirtless? I'm not complaining(not at all), but its so funny; he was absolutely great though, best live action depiction of luke(unlike terrence hill)

- that entire slot machine sequence was.. interesting. Very creative build

- I liked the poor lonesome cowboy song at the end and Jolly and Luke's banter. Those two keep me alive

- love how luke just disappeared when the president went to give him a medal

- Coop is like Oldtimer. I could see oldtimer giving luke a gun for shits and giggles(but it's not true cause whenever kid lucky holds a gun oldtimer is right there to take it away)

And now, I need a minute to talk about the WORST part of the film. I got traumatized and I will call a therapist for this. The creators of this film knew what they were making, they knew who Lucky Luke was.

But apparently they did not know that luke NEVER settles down. Morris has said it, it has been mentioned in albums(especially the fiance of lucky luke) and these guys were too blind to see it. Belle, Eleanor, or whatever her fucking name is, why. Why did they give him a woman. Why did they make him settle down. Every moment with her on screen made me hope she'd die or something.

To be fair, as a character she's fine. She has dreams to travel, she is a beautiful woman, that's great! That moment with her and Luke at the end (and the slap) was cute. But my god why did they make her a love interest. The beginning with the lap dance was so uncomfortable to watch I almost wished I was blind. Her singing was also really annoying, but thats just me being biased

To end on a joke I've been wanting to make this entire time: Jean clearly did not come from du jardin

TLDR; its aight, its funny. Its 5/10. It would've been a 6 but Belle/Eleanor/Woman was in it for way too long so I was forced to take it down a notch, but I aint gonna lie, I really genuinely like this film lol. Its so unserious and it just owns it. I'll make a different post for some lines I really liked

[ssa-dado]

i might have a little something.

remember how hotch was a theater kid? (yeah exactly….) well how about somehow someway going to see a play with him. not one of the classics, maybe something more modern or possibly a modern adaptation of a classic? basically i’m thinking something that would irk him in some capacity, whether it’s because it’s not accurate to the original or simply because it’s not respectful of the art of theater (whatever that means…). and whispering snarky little comments to each other. i think at first he’d try to keep quiet (and try to stifle any laughs) but the play would annoy him so much that he can’t help himself (let the diva out!!). yes this is a convoluted way to have hotch cup fleabag reader’s ear to whisper and contort himself in the tiny theater seats (you know how when you’re sharing an armrest with someone and you have to completely angle yourself towards them to talk? exactly that) (also, this is greatly inspired by the perfume discussions, specifically and i quote 'but only detectable if you’re close... like, collarbone-close') (also also, sorry for harassing you so much, i hope it’s not too annoying lol) -y

Are you kidding me??? What if I want to kiss you on the mouth 😽 because this is everything I’ve ever wanted?!?!?!?!

Hotch lasts twenty minutes.

Twenty-two, to be exact. (A new personal best.)

Twenty-two minutes of sheer willpower. Twenty-two minutes of clenched fists and righteous posture, sitting so upright he could be used in a chiropractic textbook under “ideal spinal alignment.” Core engaged. Neck elongated.

Unintentionally experimenting with self-induced hypoxia (aka breath-play) in the hopes that if he starves his brain of enough oxygen, maybe the play will start to suck a little less.

He does not breathe. He does not blink, too. He suffers.

You watch the downfall in real time.

The first twitch of his eye. The deep, betrayed inhale when the chorus starts waterboarding Shakespeare in real time. The way his knee bounces once before going still again, as if even that was too indulgent.

He’s trying so hard to be good. Civil. Respectful of the """art""".

But then someone misquotes a soliloquy and rhymes “rage” with “wage” - and that’s it.

He turns.

Just his head. Just enough to bare the sharp line of his throat to you, a provocation disguised as restraint, daring you to not do something unspeakable about the precise little spot he misted with cologne.

His jaw catches the dim theatre light, golden. It glints. It taunts. Impossible not to stare. Impossible not to want.

A whiff of movement from his hand. He cups it around your ear, close but never touching your face, because he respects your makeup more than he respects whatever bastardized Shakespeare nightmare this is.

(And yet. Yet. He had the nerve to dab cologne on his wrists, too. So now you’re getting hit from two sides: the neck and the hand. He’s waging chemical warfare and pretending it’s civility.)

“That wasn’t even in iambic pentameter.”

He tries to whisper it, truly. Makes the effort. But apparently wonder boy skipped acoustics class, because (fun fact) low frequencies, like that warm, sexy voice of his, actually carry better when whispered.

It’s science. Physics. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just the cruel, inevitable reality of how soundwaves travel. How they vibrate. How they sink in.

And that’s the only possible explanation for why your legs are now crossed. Clenched. Fortified.

Absolutely no one say a word.

…Or maybe. Maybe this is something you can work with.

Because what else are you supposed to do when a disgruntled ex-theatre-kid slash federal agent is basically in your lap - shoulder to shoulder thanks to some half-assed architect who decided to sacrifice basic spacing for “intimacy” (read: fire hazard) - whispering hot academic blasphemy in your ear like it’s pillow talk?

You tilt your head slightly, just enough for your lips to ghost near his collar (a win is a win), and murmur:

“If it’s really that bad, we could always take a bathroom break.”

Checkmate.

Because he stiffens even more, adjusting his tie. And when he faces forward again, his eyes definitely don’t flick down to your mouth. Not even a little.

(Not even twice.)

And sure, the play might be a flaming, postmodern disaster - but you slip your hand through the crook of his arm anyway, guiding his to rest exactly where it absolutely shouldn’t: that soft, almost-too-warm, barely (in your opinion) sinful space between your thighs.

Bless the dim lighting.

Because suddenly, he doesn’t look like a man with a stick up his ass anymore.

He looks like a man five minutes away from surrendering every last scrap of moral high ground (and maybe his clearance level, too.)

Idk if any of this made sense butttt ALSO! My brain is now working overtime to figure out how to get this to happen before they’re together, because yes (imo) pre-relationship makes it funnier and sexier. The tension. The fact that he cannot, under any circumstances, touch your knee even though his entire body is angled toward you like you’re the goddamn spotlight (silly, Hotchner.)

P.S. You're not harassing me, you're feeding the worms inside my head as always hihihi

Also, I don’t know if this was meant as a request or just something to yap about together here, so... sorry if I totally misinterpreted it :((( And sorry it took me a bit to replyyyy, I just wanted to make it at least somewhat decent before sending it in

Will you have mercy on me? 🥺

[inthiseverymoment]

silhouettes emerging: chapter iv

“Dried Cranberries and Upswept Guilt”

some musings on and continuation of those really really weird twenty-five-ish hours.

iwtv oc x armand, this chapter ~2k

welcome, one and all, to Daniel Molloy Criticizes My Writing. also we're REALLY GETTIN INTO THE PLOT NOW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. that one bit of 2x02 sure was a ride huh

the last two lines are indeed a tuck everlasting reference bc who am i if not a ride or die for the third most perfect book/musical adaptation of book of all time (third only to les mis, bc obviously, and great comet, which also has something close to a reference in this chapter) (oh i forgot there’s a poto reference here too)

enjoy! like rb comment share all that jazz

chapter iii fic masterlist chapter v

Twenty Twenty-Three, New York City, United States of America

“Perhaps it was everything I’ve feared wrapped up in everything I’d hoped, or perhaps it was the opposite. But then, at least, at last, I had the chance to find that out for myself.”

Her long and prose-abundant recollection having reached a solid stopping point, a somewhat winded Isabelle nodded to herself and drank from her wine glass of the blood that Daniel had poured for them both.

Incidentally, she wasn’t quite sure of its origin, and wasn’t quite sure whether she wanted to know. Dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, kale-a health nut. Poor thing, all that work just to-

“Okay,” came the interruption of her mental sommelier practice. “A lot clearly happened in those twenty-five-some hours, beautifully told, if you were ever to meet Louis I’m entirely certain you’d just turn-of-phrase each other to second death, yadda yadda. Question. About how much of that, looking back, do you think was utter bullshit?”

This was not a question she was expecting.

Knowing Armand, it should have been, but it was a stab in the moral compass to admit that part of her wanted to keep that memory as romanticized as it currently appeared.

“I mean,” he went on, “gaining the respect of all-powerful vampires by completing a few Shakespeare quotes, the one leading them all protecting you specifically for unknown reasons, the whole tied-to-a-chair cliché, the ‘soaring violins’, the singing?”

“...To be fair, those all-powerful vampires are also trademark annoying, semipretentious theatre kids. As am I.”

“There was someone, you know, who was also of entertainment value to them and it still didn’t save her.”

Silence.

A very, very long silence.

“I’ve thought about her every day since the papers came out,” Isabelle eventually said, “and nearly every hour since reading your book. Some combination of genuine heartbreak with white guilt with relating to her struggle to be seen as all she knows she is with hating myself for having ever associated with those that allowed that to happen, let alone those who orchestrated it, I-I do. I think about Claudia constantly, and I never even knew her, so I can barely imagine how the loss must feel to Louis. Madeline, too-the mentions of her in your book had me wishing to know her as well. There’s your typical vampires-killing-to-survive horrific, and then there’s…truly, unfathomably, unforgivably horrific.”

Daniel nodded solemnly.

“Madame de la Book of Morals reconciles with having loved the man who, decades later, directed the slaughter of-”

“I never told you that I loved him.”

This she said soft, quick, low, and received a magnificently executed eyeroll in reply.

“The fucking Orpheus and Eurydice reference? The kiss that apparently had an audience captivated? That whole trust schtick?”

“All staged. Improvised, and yes, felt in the moment, but staged. No, Mr. Molloy, I did not immediately start a committed relationship with an ancient vampire in the twenty-five hours since meeting him directly after his coven tried to kill me.”

“Good for you. Now, tell me again how much of all of that was even true.”

“I…it’s a rough discernment process, for sure. You were there with Louis, helping each other remember things that Armand had made you forget. There’s a certain haze to memories that had been tampered with, but it’s hard to tell with that day specifically, because all of those heightened circumstances put things in a different kind of haze anyway.”

Isabelle remembered sitting in her new and empty apartment once she had finally gotten away from the coven years later, combing through every journal and every memory of every moment of her life in search of that off feeling and making herself sit with each of those memories until the truth of them finally came back. It had taken months-or longer, she had lost track of time-but she’d rather have wasted the rest of her eternity doing that than lived a lie.

“There was also a certain way that it seemed Louis had acted,” she continued, “when what he was telling you had been planted-did you notice that in me at all, just now?”

“Not really. And as for storytelling demeanor, there’s a lot of reasons it seems different this time,” Daniel considered, “because the Louis that I met in Dubai was a far cry from the Louis he described himself as in New Orleans, Paris, even San Francisco. You, though…as you tell your story, I can see the naïve, outspoken, bright young actress with a point of view materialize again. Is it the self-actualized vampiress or the anxious girl that’s the facade here?”

She blinked, clicked her tongue, and took another long sip of blood.

“You’re very good at your job. Neither of them is a facade, though. I am one hundred and eight years old, Daniel, going on one hundred and nine this December, and if there is one thing I despise it is inauthenticity and the expectation of it in others; everything that I have been was real and still exists in me. I have not changed from one type of person to another, I don’t even like to think about people as types of people-I’ve never really entirely transformed, we just react to our surroundings. And if we’re lucky, and intentional about it, sometimes we grow. I hold just enough compassion for my younger self to still call her my own.”

In response to this, he just looked at her for a while, clearly on the edge of laughter.

“What?”

“If there’s one thing you despise it’s inauthenticity, and yet-”

“Okay, look-”

~

Nineteen Thirty-Six, Paris, France

“Interesting,” Armand murmured against her lips, which still burned in the glow of the contact and the spotlight. “I suppose a few folks do enjoy something similar to a happy ending.”

“Give them just one per show, perhaps. We don’t want to let them get too comfortable,” Isabelle joked. She was floating. She was falling. She was-

“‘We’?”

She pulled ever so slightly away to look him in the eye for a moment, and, remembering themselves, they ran hand in hand offstage and ducked into an alcove.

“Well,” she said, half out of breath, “what exactly were you planning on doing with me after this ‘grand rescue’?”

Asking this, she started to come down from her stage-lights-and-dark-curls-induced high, now realizing that she was somewhat stuck and yet somewhat thrilled about it, but Armand took her hands and started to whisper-

“The Great Laws still stand. In order to remain alive, you’d have to keep remaining alive-that is, one of us would eventually have to turn you. There’s usually a hierarchy that new members must work their way through, but if I must justify your staying to the coven as a catalyst for ticket sales, we will not have to wait to write you a role of your own-this Death and the Maiden concept is something that I am sure Sam could run with-”

Then there was a scream.

On instinct, Isabelle broke away from Armand and went to the wings to see what had-

…Oh.

To her horror, in those few seconds, the vampires had taken some other poor soul for their sacrifice-she sickened to wonder whether they kept ‘extras’ downstairs-who was now being dragged onstage, soon to be devoured by Santiago in her place.

I was supposed to die, but because I had to go and be a big ham about it, some other innocent person will be killed.

She began to scream and moved to run back onstage, but Armand came from behind, held one hand over her mouth, and secured her waist with the other arm. He whispered to her again, more urgent now:

“This is what we are. This is what we must do. If this is not how you wish to live, I will bring you to rest with not a single ounce of pain, but it would pain me to do it.”

“It would pain you…” came her hand-muffled, dazed reply. “What makes that any different than that person out there, or any of the rest you’ve overseen the killing of? You’ve known me for one day-”

Then the vampires were taking their bow, to a cheering audience surely wondering where their pair of ‘young lovers’ were in the lineup, but Isabelle could see behind them now.

And behind them was a body, mangled beyond recognition, motionless on the stage just long enough for the image to be burned into her mind forever before a trapdoor opened and it fell through with a large clunk. The audience roared with oblivious excitement, the coven members smiled more brightly than ever, and the trapdoor closed again, having claimed another entire life of quirks and memories and flaws and dreams.

Isabelle screamed, truly screamed this time, drowned out by the crowd.

She then pushed Armand aside, bolted from the wings, and vomited.

In what could not have been a physically possible amount of time, he was suddenly near her again, holding her hair back as if it was a bad batch of seafood and not an act of his coven’s that she was sickened by. With a flick of his hand, the door to the room they were now in closed and locked as she wiped her mouth and sobbed.

When she stumbled backwards, his were the only arms to fall into.

“I have, in fact,” Armand said with shocking tenderness, “known you for longer than a day. Those of us with the Dark Gift cannot deny our ability to hear thoughts-it is something like your mortal people-watching. And, night after recent night, I have heard the melodic strain of a soul calling out to be seen. I have heard musings, wishes, and arguments such that I could barely believe they all came from one source. The Théâtre des Vampires has been greatly in need of something lately-this position I hold was not necessarily my choice, and I often find myself longing. So, I searched through the newly arrived voices of Paris…and I found a lark.”

She could only wipe away a leftover tear, considering him with every remnant of mental alertness she had left after such an endless night. Try as she might to keep the victim’s mangled body in her mind, her heartbeat was indeed slowing; she was comforted without consciously wanting to be.

“It is not typically in my nature to bring this curse of eternity onto others. If it is not in yours to join, that is-”

“What if I added a condition?”

She nearly surprised herself with these words, and very clearly surprised him as well.

“A condition?”

What Isabelle had seen the past two nights was horrid beyond comprehension, but it was undeniable that she had, at times, found it beautiful beyond imagination. Her options were to give up entirely and die without ever getting a chance to build her own life, or to try to ease the harm done by this coven from the inside while allowing herself to enjoy being apparently beloved in some way or another.

And if she needed to go, there was a whole world waiting, and eternity to find herself in.

And the only way to secure that that she could think of in this moment was-

“Let me choose the victims.”

Armand’s eyebrows raised, and he tilted his head back as if to say, “explain.”

“I have met some lovely people since I first arrived in Paris,” Isabelle began, regaining a bit of composure, “and some absolutely awful people, people in power who use it only to cause hurt. Yes, it would be shitty to play God like this, but as long as your species-which-well-our species, soon, I suppose-must drain others to survive, we may as well be intentional about it.”

As he listened to the end of this monologue, Armand seemed through a flicker of the eye to become relieved-it is in her, she’d take to this better than we all thought-and an almost boyish glee cracked through his expression. He kissed her birthmark once more, then her palm, then her wrist.

Unconventional as it may be, Isabelle thought with a smile, this could be the new beginning I’ve always hoped for.

Although she did not want to live forever,

She wanted to live.

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts

Today's prompt is: cold. (Apologies in advance for waving a cheery goodbye to the cold for a while, before it was brought back)

The Luckies Girl in the World (chapter six)

Summary: A visit to Sherlock's parents bestows Rosie with a pet name.

Six Years Old

I never found it weird that Papa called me Watson. It was his name for me, but some of my friends, teachers and apparently Sally Donovan, found it to be heartless and cold. 

They all failed to discern the amount of affection and warmth in his voice when he addressed me as such. There was nothing cold about it.

Papa also used endearments like my heart and my precious girl, but only in private, which made them feel even more special. I never heard him call Dad anything but John, though he had a dozen different ways of saying Dad’s name.

***

Papa gave me a new name a warm summer day when I was six. We were visiting his parents, which I adored, he not so much. That’s what he claimed, anyway, but I saw how fond he was of them. They didn’t have that strong bond I had with my parents, but it more than sufficed, and Dad made up for it by being his wonderful self. Natural, friendly, helping in the kitchen and doing some of the heavier gardening for my grandmother.

Papa and his father had one particular interest in common. Bees. My grandfather had several beehives, and the first thing Papa did when we arrived, was to pester his father about the creatures he found so endlessly fascinating. Papa’s father was a patient man and answered all his questions meticulously. 

Until then, I hadn’t been allowed near the hives, but this time, Pops, as I called him, had a surprise for me. My very own beekeeper suit, long gloves and a gigantic hat with a protective veil.

Papa was just as excited as me when I’d dressed myself, and the three of us walked into the garden to inspect the beehives. Not after Dad had taken endless pictures, though.

“Fascinating, aren’t they?” Papa murmured in my ear when Pops lifted out one of the frames where bees crawled around and buzzed.

I could only nod in agreement, because I couldn’t get my eyes off them. The hexagon pattern, the delicious honey they produced, their colour, how organised it all was.

At dinner that night, I told Dad all about my bee adventure, helped by Papa and Pops. When Granny served her famous honey cake with toasted almond flakes on top and vanilla ice cream for dessert, my day was complete.

“Is the honey from Pops’ bees?” I asked hopefully.

“Oh, yes, Rosie,” Granny answered. “Your Pops wouldn’t allow any other honey inside this house. Besides, it’s the best honey for miles.”

Pops squeezed her hand, and I sighed happily when I was granted a second slice of cake.

***

After that day, Papa started to call me by another name. Not that he discarded Watson altogether, but it was mostly limited to when he reprimanded me, so I guess it turned out to have a chillier effect on me in the end. 

When he first used the new name in Dad’s presence, I could see tears form in his eyes.

“Bee,” Dad whispered. “What a beautiful and fitting name.”

“Indeed. You like it, don’t you?” Papa asked me.

“I love it,” I stated. “I’ve never had a pet name before, have I, Dad?”

“Not as such, love,” Dad agreed. “Do you want me to come up with something too?”

“Only if you want to. You call me love and sweetheart all the time in addition to my name, so it’s fine,” I told him.

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” Papa recited.

“You and your Shakespeare,” Dad teased.

“Well, it is a nice quote, though I think an originally Danish saying, also used in Norway as far as I know, describes what I’m thinking about even better,” Papa retorted.

“Can you translate it into English?” I asked expectantly.

“Of course, Bee,” Papa replied. “A dear child has many names.”

Also available on AO3

(@s in the replies)

[blues824]

I love the way you write the headcanons about the First Years + Ortho going to the reader's world! Could you do the same with the Second Years, please?

Riddle Rosehearts

Favorite Country/City: He would love to go visit Stratford-Upon-Avon in England, as he is one to enjoy being in the city of one of the most famous playwrights and authors in history: William Shakespeare. Also, there is tea available at most shops, so he will still be able to follow the Queen of Hearts’ rules.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: Again, his favorite dish is strawberry tarts, and they apparently originate in France as tarts were used to showcase the seasonal not-berries. That aside, he also does appreciate French cuisine as a whole.

Favorite Drink: Again, he enjoys tea, but I think he would like strawberry lemonade. More specifically, the strawberry lemonade from those restaurants that put those slices of strawberries into the drink.

Favorite Souvenir: A small Shakespeare bust that he can place on a bookshelf as a book holder.

Favorite Singers/Songs: He absolutely loves classical music, specifically from the Classical Era. He prefers the classics: Bach, Beethoven, Marianna Martines, etc. Favorite song would be Für Elise, by Ludwig van Beethoven.

Favorite Movie: The Phantom of the Opera, but the 1927 silent film version.

Ruggie Bucchi

Favorite Country/City: I originally was going to say that he would have liked Luxembourg because it’s one of the richest countries in the world, but I decided that would be too easy. I feel like he would love to go to Cairo in Egypt. It’s very rich in history and culture, and I’ve heard they have good food (someone confirm, plz).

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: His favorite food is donuts, and I looked it up and they apparently originate from either Ancient Greece/Rome or Medieval Arab chefs. That being said, either cuisines (Greek, Italian, or Middle Eastern) would be his favorite. He has a very diverse palate.

Favorite Drink: Depending on if he prefers coffee or tea, he would like either Mazboot or even Zjada coffee, or karkade (please correct me on any of this, I am not from the Middle East and have never been so if it’s incorrect you can tell me. Got this info from online).

Favorite Souvenir: A small, handmade pot that he found at one of the markets. He thought it looked interesting and thus purchased it. The vendor was really kind as well.

Favorite Singers/Songs: This is kind of hard, but AMERICAN HORROR SHOW by SNOW WIFE would be his favorite, meaning hyperpop would be his favorite genre. He gives me TikTok boy vibes for some reason, and he would also like most songs that popped up on his FYP.

Favorite Movie: Lion King, and I’m not trying to be funny. He just likes the “It’s not funny, Ed”, where Ed erupts even more into laughter. It makes him snicker a bit as well. Maybe I was trying to be funny.

Azul Ashengrotto

Favorite Country/City: He would love the township of Cavendish in Prince Edward Island, Canada. It’s got the ocean, it’s got the small town vibes, and it inspired L.M. Montgomery’s fictional town of Avonlea in Anne of Green Gables. Speaking of, he would totally resonate with Anne because they both entered a society that they weren’t knowledgeable of the norms of. 

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: Because he loves fried chicken, I would say his favorite cuisine is that of the Southern United States. You can’t go wrong with coleslaw, cornbread, green beans, mashed potatoes, and Southern hospitality.

Favorite Drink: Iced Tea, specifically from the Southern states as well. If we’re talking about cocktails, then Long Island Iced Tea would be his go-to. However, he prefers to drink at home because he doesn’t have to call anyone to pick him up.

Favorite Souvenir: It’s stated that he likes collecting coins, so yeah.

Favorite Singers/Songs: This man loves Elvis Presley’s music, and no one can fight me on this. He’s a bit of a hopeless romantic, so he loves either Heartbreak Hotel or Can’t Help Falling in Love is his favorite song.

Favorite Movie: Romeo and Juliet, the one starring Leonardo DiCaprio. The movie’s great, the actor not so much. He’s a bit of a hopeless romantic, as I stated before, so he would very much like a Romeo to his Juliet. Mans wants to be in a tower with a window sill and he wants someone to be standing below to talk to in a romantic way.

Jade Leech

Favorite Country/City: He loved going scuba diving in the Mariana Trench, and since the Trench is located between Hawaii and the Philippines, I think he would love staying in the Philippines. The city he favors would be Boracay, even though it’s in the middle of the Philippine Islands and a bit further from the East.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: His favorite dish is octopus carpaccio, and it’s kind of obvious that it’s Italian. He does enjoy Italian cuisine as a whole as well. However, if we are taking the octopus components of the dish, then I believe he would also be a lover of Japanese cuisine.

Favorite Drink: It is recommended that with octopus carpaccio, you should have a Pinot noir, and he agrees. However, if he’s just going to a bar, he would order a limoncello spritz. It’s typically a post-dinner drink, and he likes the lemon flavor along with the kind-of-like-soda, kind-of-like-wine game that the drink offers him.

Favorite Souvenir: He loves smaller, easily portable trinkets, so as basic as it is he loves collecting keychains and magnets. His favorite keychain is a shell that had a hole in it, and a small child actually handed it to him out of nowhere. He got a ring and attached it to his backpack.

Favorite Singers/Songs: His favorite song is 24 / 7 / 365, by Surfaces. It’s laidback, it’s chill, and he likes it. Songs that remind him of the beach are ones that he likes. He plays it when he’s attending to his terrariums. 

Favorite Movie: Jaws, and none of the sequels. All the sequels suck. He has watched the first Jaws so many times that he sings along with Quint when he starts singing “Farewell and Adieu You Fair Spanish Ladies”. 

Floyd Leech

Favorite Country/City: He wants to go places where he can do things whenever it strikes him. He would also want to go somewhere with clear water. Thus, I believe he would love to go to Tahiti. There’s a market, he can go scuba diving with whales and sharks, he can go surfing, he can go to the museum, and if he wants to stay in his hotel room then he can.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: His favorite dish is Takoyaki, so I think it’s safe to assume that he likes Japanese cuisine. However, it is stated that shiitake mushrooms come from mountainous regions in China, Japan, Indonesia, and Taiwan, so he likes any dishes without the mentioned mushrooms.

Favorite Drink: As funny as it is, Sex on the Beach, as it’s a summer drink that he loves to enjoy on the beach. Also, he has the emotional maturity of a 7th grade boy, and the name was hilarious to him. 

Favorite Souvenir: Two little figurines of a guy and a girl dancing with each other. They fit together in a way that was complex, making it a puzzle of sorts.

Favorite Singers/Songs: Either Laffy Taffy or Sneaky Link 2.0 are his favorite songs. This man is searching for his Mrs. Bubblegum. He is looking to be somebody’s sneaky link. He lives for drama, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Favorite Movie: The Meg, because who doesn’t love a giant, prehistoric shark that escapes from the gaseous layer at the bottom of the Mariana Trench? He has sharp teeth like the megalodon, and he likes the jumpscare where the shark jumps up.

Kalim Al-Asim

Favorite Country/City: He loves tropical areas, but he loved the Bahamas and the capital of Nassau the most. The resort there was great, and the people were very friendly. It was a laid back time, and it was not even a five minute walk to the beach. Plus, coconuts grow there apparently (correct me if I’m wrong), and coconut juice is his favorite food.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: A lot of Thai food, specifically the desserts, use the flesh of the coconut, so I think I have substantial evidence to say that he does like Thai food. He would be very hesitant to try Thai curry, though… unless he had somebody to try it with him.

Favorite Drink: Piña Colada, doesn’t matter if it’s virgin or not. He loves the song that accompanies it as well. Anyways, the drink is a very fruit-filled drink. He thinks it’s the right amount of sweetness, so he loves to enjoy it.

Favorite Souvenir: A singular photograph, as he somehow found himself involved in a volunteer program and he took a picture with children from one of the villages he was volunteering at.

Favorite Singers/Songs: He also likes songs that remind him of the beach, and I stated that he probably likes the song Escape (The Piña Colada Song), but it’s not his favorite. His favorite song would be Celebration, by Maffio, Farruko, and Akon (feat. Ky-Mani Marley).

Favorite Movie: I have a feeling that he would love the movie Shrek. It’s funny, a lot of memes have been made from all the movies, all the sequels are great. What’s not to love about the movie(s)?

Jamil Viper

Favorite Country/City: He gives me a vibe that I resonate with on the historical front, so I would think he would like to visit somewhere in the Middle East, as that is where ancient Mesopotamia was. Specifically, he would love to visit Ur, in Iraq. Not only is it located in a desert (familiar territory), but it’s one of (if not the) first cities in the world.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: Unlike Kalim, he loves curry, so that gives me reason to believe that he would enjoy Indian cuisine the most. Syrian food comes in second for him (I spend a lot of time at my friend’s Syrian house and they make good food… I’m hungry now).

Favorite Drink: This was difficult, but I feel like he would move towards margaritas, and not just because of the song. Because curry can be spicy, I would say he likes a spicy margarita as well. His favorite non-alcoholic drink would be a mangonada.

Favorite Souvenir: All the books he picked up to learn different languages. He learned along the way as well, and all of the books have annotations within them so he has them for future reference.

Favorite Singers/Songs: He likes breakdancing, so he likes any song he can breakdance to. I am not very involved within this genre of music, so after doing some research I have come to the conclusion that he would love the song The Witch, by the Bamboos.

Favorite Movie: Footloose, as it’s a movie about dancing and rock music being banned. He saw it because it looked interesting, and he learned the Footloose dance. Also, the song Holdin’ Out For a Hero makes him feel like he wants to be someone’s hero.

Silver

Favorite Country/City: Carrickfergus, as it holds the Carrickfergus Castle. It may be a Norman castle, but it’s because of the history (and the fact that he may be based off of both the Princess and the Prince and thus deserves a castle {personal opinion}) that he enjoys his time in the town.

Favorite Cuisine/Dish: This is the first time I’ve actually dove into investigating Silver’s likes and dislikes, and apparently he likes mushroom risotto, which is thought to originate from the Italian region of Lombardy.

Favorite Drink: He strikes me as the type to like wine, and not the bitter stuff. He likes sweeter wines, especially white wines as they pair nicely with the risotto he loves.

Favorite Souvenir: A journal, in which he writes about his many journeys around the world. 

Favorite Singers/Songs: I think he is a Swiftie. That being said, his favorite song would be Love Story, as he is looking for his Juliet. However, he is not one of those over-excited fans who will tear someone up for saying they don’t like Taylor Swift’s songs. He will just judge them quietly.

Favorite Movie: Gladiator, partially for the plot, partially for Russel Crowe. It reminds him of the training he had to go through as a knight.

[kutputli]

I have been bullied, outright bullied, I say, into finally watching Interview with the Vampire. Apparently Delhi boy Arun is the way to persuade me over my gore squick.

So three years late and several hours after the train has passed - my episode by episode live-blog. (These will probably be shallow reactions because I know all the meaty meta and analysis has already been written. I remember reading it back when I was an innocent parasocial of your gifsets.) Also, I am coming into this with a series of biases; I've been completely spoiled by way of seeing gifs, reading meta and going through the book summaries. This is also not my genre; I don't enjoy gothic or horror, I was never into the vampire mystique, and I learned vampire lore via Buffy and Angel fandoms back when. So I am predisposed to watch this for the specific angle of how to intersect with my friends' interest in the characters. Disclaimers out of the way...

Season 1 Episode 1 - Mmmm, I see what people say about the art direction. This is a very very beautiful show. Very deliberately staged historicity, very artfully selected colour palattes and design. I imagine watching it on a big TV would be rewarding (I'm on a laptop.) But actually, more than the quality of the design, I think what I am enjoying is the quality of the actors. Because I have been forewarned, I realise all the cast is serious scenery chewing theatre rats. But the energy they bring to their scene work is palpable even through the screen.

Louis for instance, is oddly not beautiful. I can think of several other actors who would look far more physically arresting. To be frank, I don't see what Lestat saw in him, that moment did not have an impact on me. But what Louis is, because of Jacob, is intensely watchable. He brings such commitment to the character that my admiration for the actor translates into sympathy for the character. And of course, the Theatre Voice. Absolutely A+ choice to choose Shakespeare trained actors to deliver what I imagine must be quotes from Anne Rice's original florid prose?

It's a dangerous risk to use that sort of of heightened textual narration, which can work on a page, to sit against the visuals we are already seeing. I remember how Good Omens season 1 did so much quoting from the book to disasterously flat effect. But it works here, and that is, I think, because Jacob delivers the lines with so much integrity to bringing us back to the Dubai penthouse as we watch the New Orleans scenes.

I really enjoyed Daniel Molloy, who I remember finding rather delightful in the gifs even before we all knew his importance and where he was headed. I love grumpy irascible characters and he's lovely at being surly and sardonic. And physically deteriorating and mundane and ordinary, which makes him such a good foil to -

my precious little murderboy Armand! I really do want to watch things unspoiled, so I carry some regret about going into this so very equipped with hindsight. But I did giggle as the very first vampiric contact we see is a cup of tea being placed by Unnamed Brown Guy hand in front of Daniel. That's the love of your life, dude! Give or take a few divorces and deaths. I was watching Assad very closely to see what choices he was making - if there were any clues to pick up on. He was pretty stoic during the hand burning.

But that silent service thing going on - that's definitely something that packs more of a punch if you imagine him learning that from childhood as a human. I've got all kinds of headcanons going on for him, which I've been discussing with @quark4561 and I think his backstory can be a heartbreaking foil to Louis's, in terms of service, and sex work, and segregation.

Speaking of race, I know much of the fandom adores Lestat, but I thought the great thing about casting Sam Reid, is that he isn't the kind of drop dead gorgeous version that Tom Cruise might have been (never seen the film) and so he comes across right from the very beginning as ordinary except for the priviledge of his power. We know already that his power is vampirism, but because of the casting choices, it also becomes the power of whiteness. Lestat isn't some idealised homosexual awakening for Louis, or at least, that wasn't the way I read it. Lestat uses money, whiteness, physical force and vampirical power to get to Louis, and that sets their relationship on a dark, abusive path from the get-go.

In contrast to this was Louis's relationship to Lily. I loved her and the gentleness of their bond. The needless cruelty of Lestat killing her (thankfully offstage, I do not need to see Black women murdered any more), hammers in that this is a person who is selfish and cruel (beyond the ordinary carnivorous murders that one expects of the vampiric genre).

I'm not sure I understood why Louis's brother killed himself. Were we supposed to believe Lestat fucked with his mind? Were the voices he heard a sign of suicidal delusions?

But seeing both of them hoofing together - and I am so glad we didn't see Lestat lurking about then, it was a Black wedding and needed to be closed to the community - was so moving. It made me feel Louis' love for Paul more than his monologue narration. I'm not Black or USAmerican, but I did feel that the Black experience of these characters was respected and integrated into the storytelling choices, from writing to casting to design to cinematography, in a way that really worked for me.

I'm looking forward to spending time with Louis and his assistant, and the grumpy old fart interviewing them.

[synthient]

I listened to the audio drama they're adapting into Space Eurovision, so you don't have to!

Bang-Bang-a-Boom: it's a 2002 Big Finish audio drama. It's a riff on Boom Bang a Bang, the song that won Eurovision for England in 1969 (if I'm being so fr. it's a little mid). And it's the originator of the "Intergalactic Song Contest" concept.

Yep. I bit the bullet, dropped 5 bucks, and dedicated 2 and half hours of my sunday evening to the cause 👍

If you're just tuning in, my personal cause (windmill tilt?) is the Eurovision Hypothesis: the idea that 1) Rogue is the Master, and 2) he's about to reveal it live onstage at Space Eurovison.

But if you're not a true believer in Rogue Eurovision Champion 2025, feel free to still benefit from my notes. Again, this thing is 2.5 hours long, and the current tardiswiki page just drops a couple Lore Points without doing a real recap.

But before I get into the plot, let's address a relevant out-of-universe detail:

The Transphobia Wrinkle

So, maybe it's for the best that I didn't realize this until after I finsished listening, because it let me approach this audio drama with more of an open mind. But it turns out that the original audio is by Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman. Roberts is the writer of Shakespeare Code etc, and the guy who, in the last few years, has gone full transphobia pipeline. It's a very textbook version of the pipeline: made a transmisogynistic tweet in 2019, got kicked out of a doctor who short story collection when the other writers protested, and proceeded to make it his entire personality and do a career pivot to right wing grifting (apparently he's now published an anti-trans book. Of course he's written a book).

Now, before I learned this, I'd already been theorizing that Juno Dawson is the writer on the upcoming Eurovision episode. I have reasons that tie in with my grand theory of Dungeon Master Eurovision Spectacular: RTD's no-spoilers insta comment on her debut was "shocks with Juno!" She made a BBC podcast (which you should listen to!) about the Doctor accidentally causing reality to get rewritten by an eldritch force from the beyond the universe, which also features a pair of alien exes with a lot in common with the Doctor and Master. She's mentioned writing Doctor Who fanfiction as a kid, which ties in with the meta-fandom aspects of the original Rogue episode.

But tbh? We don't really need all this circumstantial evidence to assume that Dawson wrote the episode. We know there are 4 guest writer episodes in the upcoming season, we can already link a couple of the guest writers to specific episodes (McTighe wrote the Ruby one, Angel-Walfall wrote the deep sea diving one), and we can pretty much process-of-elimination at this point that the Eurovision one is Dawson's.

If I'm correct - if the transmisogyny guy's audio drama is getting adapted for the screen, but by a trans woman - then I'm frankly not sure yet how I feel about that. I assume the production team is approaching that choice as a sort of reclamation slash middle finger. I also don't necessarily love that this guy's concepts are still being platformed, and that they'll presumably still have to credit him for it. But a lot will ultimately depend on how Dawson herself is approaching this adaptation process. (Was adapting this specific audio her idea?)

At this point, we don't know how much of the original is going to make it to the screen beyond the general premise. All this baggage might point to the likelyhood of a fairly loose adaptation.

But let's take a look at the original storyline anyway - if nothing else, it'll provide interesting context for any divergences.

And I do still have my little theories 📝

The Plot Summary

[Spoilers throughout for the audio drama from 2002. I don't think all or most of these specific beats will make it verbatim into the episode, but I can't promise that]

Our basic premise isn't just Space Eurovision. it's Murder Mystery! At The Space Eurovison.

Space Eurovision is being hosted on a space station that's a loose parody of Deep Space Nine. They're recently down a captain, but just as the newly hired captain arrives for duty, someone explodes his shuttle. The 7th Doctor and Mel stumble across the crime scene just in time to accidentally steal the murdered captain's identity.

Now people at Space Eurovision are getting picked off one by one, so the Doctor has to solve the mystery, while also playing the role of Star Trek Captain.

Our main suplots:

There's political intrigue going on between the contestants from Soviet Russia Planet and Psychic Hivemind Planet (whose language is so weird that they can only speak through a human interpreter). Their planets have been at war. There's a peace conference happening simultaneously with Eurovision. Is one of them trying to frame the other? (Spoiler: The Translator Did It. His name is Loozely because he translates......loosely.)

Did Soviet Russia Contestant spray the Doctor with a love potion? (yeah) (also, as pointed out by tardiswiki, her name is an anagram for vagina. Of course it's an anagram for vagina.)

Is something off with the stereotypical Star Trek Doctor and Star Trek Scientist? (yeah - she never went to med school and he's an alcoholic)

Is the nice mousegirl mediator from Mousegirl Pacifist Planet suspicious? (kinda, but only because she's secretly hosting the peace talks inside the Eurovision contestants' brains or something.) Did Mel just accidentally murder her with blunt force head trauma? (almost, but no)

Mel has befriended a himboish male pop star. Is he suspicious? (No, but the evil translator tricked him into swallowing a bomb)

Conclusion: the Doctor does his locked room deduction scene and reveals that Evil Translator is to blame. The theme song starts to play, but Mel stops it with a record scratch and points out that was too easy. The Doctor realizes there's still a bomb onboard, and it's in Himbo Pop Star's stomach.

The fake-doctor successfully removes it even though she never went to med school, while the Doctor goes onstage in Himbo's place. He wins it all with some sort of offscreen (off...audio?) spoon performance. The other characters realize that as a final twist, the Doctor isn't the real captain?! The Doctor goes "haha yeah :p" and fucks off in the tardis

My Notes

- First off, I doubt the Star Trek parody element is making it into the adaptation. It's already a little tacked on in the audio, and Deep Space Nine just isn't that culturally relevant at the moment.

(If the setting is still a space station, though...what do we think the odds are that it's Satellite 5?)

One one thing that does seem relevant to this run, however, is the fake Star Trek doctor. She lied because she wanted to live out her fantasy of being a Star Trek character. She killed a bunch of people with medical malpractice.

In other words, she cosplayed them to death. Deeply Rogue-coded! She's also a Doctor mirror. He's stolen an identity too; he just happens to be a little more competent at his Star Trek Captain cosplay.

- Aside from Star Trek, there are a couple references to Holmes and Watson (Mel: "You know what finally happened to Sherlock Holmes? Watson bashed him in the head with his own violin!") I feel like this one's actually more likely to get a shoutout. Maybe it's a stretch, but I have been comparing my little Rogue theories to TJLC this whole time

- The male pop star character reminded me a lot of Ricky September. His name also happens to be Nicky Newman. Coincidence?

I feel like either, RTD already stealth-adapted this character for Dot and Bubble (in which case we're probably not seeing another version of him in the Eurovision ep). Or...is there some small chance we're getting another Mundy/Belinda situation?

- There's a gag in the audio that Earth's national anthem is I Will Survive. The Rogue novelization actually makes almost the same joke, but about Can't Get You Out Of My Head. Coincidence??

- Will the episode still be doing the feuding planets storyline? tbh, I'm not sure Doctor Who should actually be touching any of the real Eurovision geopolitics. However...there is that clip of Skaro in the trailer. Hard to picture the Daleks sending a representative to Eurovision, but maybe that's exactly what would make it a good joke

- A significant plot point in the audio is that no one can understand what the Hivemind Planet contestant is saying until the end, when someone invents a special translation device.

RTD2 has been putting a lot of emphasis on the tardis's perception filter and auto translation. So I suspect that either this element will get cut, or it could be used as an opportunity for the tardis to meddle with the investigation.

- The record scratch: this also seems relevant to our current, 4th wall break heavy storyline.

Even if we don't get a literal record scratch, I think there's a high chance of a "record scratch moment" where we suddenly realize that the Doctor's solution is too easy, and the story can't just end there.

What if it turns out it was "too easy" because the whole murder mystery was staged for the Doctor's benefit?

That's what I think Rogue, or the Dungeon Master, already did in his intro episode: give the Doctor a murder mystery + Bridgton romance. So why not use Eurovision as an excuse to engage in two of the Doctor and Master's shared hobbies: murder mysteries (as either the detective or the murderer), and being a diva?

There's actually one other possibility for the staged murder mystery twist: the Tardis could have done it. That's one of my other big theories - that she staged Sutehk, the Ruby's mom mystery, and more.

But not only does this kind of, small-scale interpersonal murder not really seem like her style (compared to the Sutehk thing). But I think the Eurovision episode- which seems to be set right before the season 2 finale, btw - would be a good moment for a fakeout reveal. If the Master staged this mystery, does that mean he's staged the entire story??

But nope - all the big stuff was the Tardis. She's probably where Rogue got the idea for the murder mystery dates in the first place.

After all: giving the Doctor a story and letting him roleplay its hero seems to be the only way to get through to him, right?

Fin

Anyway! You can take or leave the Rogue stuff and the Doctor being trapped in a story (though I for one am dying on both those hills). But now that we know the basic framework that this adaptation is starting from, we can see what Dawson and RTD will choose to keep, add, or discard.

And surely they've gotta give the Doctor (or the Master...?) a full-fledged Eurovision-winning performance, right?

[buttahpie]

Get to know you mutual!

Thanks for the tag @warmrevolver !

What’s the origin of your username?: Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey by Paul & Linda McCartney aka the song everrrrr

OTPS: McLennon forever and ever. Zelink (Link and Zelda) is also truly so near and dear to me. And I LOVE wolfstar

Favorite color: Any and all shades of green :3

Song stuck in your head: “Kiss from a Rose” by Seal has been on REPEAT for the last two days

Weirdest habit/Trait: Unfortunately I am just weird. Adorkable in a very Anna from frozen way to my dismay. I wish I had charisma or was suave but I am simply not.

Hobbies: Theatre (my whole career and livelihood, actually), WRITING!! Occasional drawing, social media content creation (I work for my theatre doing marketing) and I enjoy vlogging occasionally

If you work, what’s your profession?: I am a professional actor! I’m about to graduate with my degree in acting and I work on shows constantly! I also clean professionally to support myself more and I’m planning on starting my own private cleaning company.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: Honestly I have my dream job and I am so fulfilled by my work in the theatre. BUT if I could have another job I would love to be able to write stories professionally

Something you’re good at: I am good at singing and I’m finally allowing myself to say it. I’ve taken private lessons for years and I LOVE singing. I am also good at writing I think

Something you hate: bigotry. The president. Liars. Narcissists. People who support the president. Billionaires. Not getting enough sleep. Dating apps.

Something you collect: I’ve just started collecting records and vinyl and I’m quite proud of my collection already! And plays, i have loads of plays.

Something you forget: UHhhhhh I am not generally a forgetful person. I may forget names every now and then but only if it’s a person I haven’t made a connection with yet.

What’s your love language?: Quality time 100%. It’s the one I speak and receive. It is so important to me.

Favorite movie/Show: Howl’s Moving Castle, The Mummy, Surf’s Up, Pride and Prejudice, Romeo + Juliet. The Good Place, Schmigadoon, Ted Lasso, Friends.

Favorite Food: Italian food really truly is my favorite. Any and all kinds of pasta. Homemade pizza.

Favorite Animal: Cows! They have kind eyes.

What were you like as a child?: Apparently very angry and standoffish. I was difficult and mean. It was the undiagnosed autism. HOWEVER my parents say I am the total opposite now and they were so happy they loved me through the hard years because I am a joy now!

Favorite Subject at school?: Before college I loved my band and choir classes. And I loved all my English and writing classes. My favorite class I’m currently in is advanced tap dance technique! Although it’s kicking my butt right now.

Least favorite subject: Math always

What’s your best character trait: I am a generally very positive, optimistic and grounded person. People come to me with their issues, they trust me and they are cheered up by my. I’ve been described as having a “zest for life” and inspiring other people to live with more authenticity. I am very proud of this.

What’s your worst character trait: Despite this, i can be rather selfish. It’s passed down from my mom haha. I have some egotistical tendencies that I have been trying to work through for years now. Also I often struggle with empathy.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: John Lennon, David Bowie, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Princess Diana

I don’t have many mutuals ahhh BUT I’m tagging: @johangeorghohman @glowing-gold and @tauruscats

[stillsurfacequietpond]

I was fortunate enough to get to see Macbeth.

I got a ticket the day they were available six months ago, and have been counting down (and annoying everyone I know talking about it) since. I don’t really have the right words, but it was an absolutely magical, extraordinary experience.

The production was fantastic, I loved the way it was staged, the use of light and a glass wall to separate scenes, the music was perfect.

David Tennant was incredible, Cush Jumbo was phenomenal, the whole cast was amazing. (Also Jatinder Singh Randhawa as the porter was hilarious, excellent break of the fourth wall, apparently his bit is different every night). No spoilers but the way they staged the Macduff family deaths was — I think, a much stronger portrayal of Macbeth’s state of mind than the original.

The binaural sound made the whole experience astonishingly different, I don’t think I moved once, felt like the audience almost wasn’t there, you felt just immersed in it because the sound felt like it was coming from all around you, you could hear every little sound, every breath, I just… gosh.

I immediately started trying to figure out how I can see it a second time while I’m in London. (Anyone know what time to start lining up for same day tickets?)

Also, I did stand at the stage door (with just a few other people) like a fanantic (I totally am), and absolutely lost my power of speech when he got to me, so didn’t even say fantastic job, sorry David, you were in fact, fucking amazing.

(The signing is pretty organized, you do have to get there quick, I lucked out with where I was sitting to get a spot in front, he will sign as many as he can moving down the line, but he moves quick. But that was just a bonus, the production (and having David Tennant speak Shakespeare live in your ears for two hours - what is it about his voice?!) on its own, was worth a six months wait and flying a quarter of the way around the world).

10/10, would absolutely repeat if given the opportunity.

[hamletthedane]

I’m a big Hamlet fan and I am curious as to what your favorite movie/for screen rendition is? I’ve been working my way through a lot of them, gone through about 7, so far Hamlet at Elsinore with Christopher Plummer is my favorite. I was just curious what yours is !

What a great question!!

Hamlet at Elsinore is definitely my favorite filmed version of the play. I feel that Christopher Plummer does a fantastic - and frankly critically underappreciated - job of portraying the more nuanced and complicated aspects of Hamlet's character while still giving a straightforward performance that's highly accessible to any audience. Notably, he doesn't treat the performance as his ~*~epic, defining role of a lifetime~*~ or ~high artistic theater~ (*cough* Branagh and Jacobi), but instead focuses on telling a deeply compelling, very moving story about the complex nature of grief and revenge. I also like that this version embraces the more "postmodern" elements that exist in the written text of Hamlet: the complicity of the audience, the inevitability of the outcome, Hamlet's genre-awareness and genre-defiance, etc.

[Not to keep hating on Branagh, but in contrast: Branagh's Hamlet in particular seems to go out of its way to avoid including the more interesting proto-postmodern thematic elements of the play - at times not seeming to recognize that they're even there. He instead focuses his time and energy on inserting new cinematography-based visual themes that go nowhere and at times stand in OPPOSITION to the actual tone and themes of the original text. Because apparently Hamlet the play is too boring and instead of lame elements like "themes" and "compelling characterization," we need a swinging chandelier sword fight scenes and Freudian weirdness. Truly the Joel Schumacher Phantom of the Opera adaptation of Shakespeare films. But I DIGRESS-)

Plus it doesn't hurt that everybody aside from Plummer in Hamlet at Elsinore is also fabulous. Obviously, Michael Caine's Horatio is the single best and most definitive version of the character in film, but I also love Robert Shaw's Claudius and Muller's Ophelia.

If we're talking favorite filmed versions of the STORY of Hamlet though, that's Asta Nielsen's silent film from 1921. It's so beautifully filmed and wonderfully told. She's what I picture when I picture Hamlet.

Other than that....I like Tennant and Stewarts' RSC filmed version well enough. It has a number of very strange choices and I don't love the re-ordering of the scenes, but Tennant does a great job with the character and I think it's a very approachable performance. A few other filmed stage versions are also excellent, though with a few similarly weird elements - I'd put Maxine Peake's version on the same tier as the RSC version. I do NOT like Branagh's version at all (if you couldn't already tell...). Jacobi's and Gibson's are slightly better, but they're still too focused on the prestige of the performance rather than the actual story being told imo. I think they fall under the same criticism as Holden Caulfield's scathing review of Laurence Olivier: "more like a general than a sad, screwed-up type guy." (Yes I know this line is an in-text authorial critique of Holden himself but also: he's right and he should say it.)

If you haven't already, I do highly recommend listening to the BBC Radio 4 audiodrama version of Hamlet, starring Jamie Parker. Despite being a audio version of a stage play, it somehow blows every filmed version of Hamlet (except maybe HAE) out of the water. I listen to it at least once a year.

Finally, my actual favorite versions of Hamlet have ALWAYS been those I've seen live (or seen bootleg filmed stage performances of lmao). If it's ever playing live near you, definitely go and see it. The play was meant to be seen on a live stage in front of you, and many of the jokes and themes only make sense in that context. In my opinion, the medium of live theater elevates the play so far beyond what a movie could ever achieve.

...sorry this answer is so long 😅 Really, it doesn't matter what my opinions on Hamlet films are. If any version of the play really speaks to you - even if it's the accursed Branagh version - that is so awesome and makes me really happy people are engaging with the play in that way! (But since you're saying that HAE is your favorite so far, I will add that you have excellent, discerning taste ;))

[variousqueerthings]

actually it seems like we dodged several bullets for jk r*wling to be more involved with the original comeback of nu!who, rtd actually approached her to possibly write for the first season (it was 2003, I get it, but also thank fuck that never happened) and apparently david tennant from what I've heard?? nixed two proposals to have one of the specials be about her in some way, because he didn't think it'd work for the way dw was usually constructed... proof that we don't live in the darkest timeline as it turns out, if we had to sacrifice a good episode centred on shakespeare for that I'll take it

[olderthannetfic]

ONTF, you're older than I am, you're highly media literate, maybe you'll know: what was the appeal of the Joss Whedon style of writing to begin with? Everyone whateverishly wording their phrasey bits in that very Whedon-y way never did anything for me, positive or negative, and the constant need to have comedy during serious moments or interrupt a serious moment with either snark or a remark that nods towards tropes diffuses the tension to the point where I can't get invested. None of his characters ever felt capable of having sincere moments like most characters in other things I watch, and the few moments of that they did have would get undermined by one of the aforementioned flaws.

I do think the "omg worst writer EVER!" crowd is a bit much, because I've seen things so bad that Whedon looks like Shakespeare by comparison. But my half-sister, who is 25 years older than me and thus in her late 40's, swears Joss' style is revolutionary and deep. And frankly I've been wrong about a lot of media I used to hate and I'm open to the idea I'm missing something. It's super likely given my limited media exposure, though I am admittedly trying to work on that and branch out into more genres of media and more formats so I don't become that 'guy who has only seen Boss Baby thinks every movie has Boss Baby vibes' meme.

So. What am I missing? What's the context I'm missing and the key here that will allow me to appreciate the appeal of and enduring fandom for Whedon's work? I am admittedly a fandom baby but I am willing to learn.

--

I mean... I despised him from the get go, other than the Buffy movie, which I still quote that death scene from regularly, so I'm probably not the best person to describe what's appealing about his style.

But one-liners during action are a common taste even if I'm fonder of the sorts of homoerotic 80s trash Ruthless Reviews used to cover.

Ironic distance is also popular and easier to swallow than earnestness for a lot of people.

However, I do think Buffy's original audience was connecting with it emotionally. Look at the part where Buffy's all upset after the most clownishly 1980s take on loss of virginity and heavyhanded metaphors for guys being jerks that just made every writer involved seem excessively middle-aged and out of touch Giles asks if she has any idea what could have happened to Angel. For people who weren't going to high school in 90s California, that bilge was apparently very moving. Certainly, there are parts of Buffy where the quips die down for some actual emotional moments.

People like style. Something that commits to being aggressively stylized will often stand out from the bland clones that surround it. Look at Wes Anderson (another creator I don't particularly like). Whedon's godawful faux-witty dialogue did sound different from other things on TV at the time. He also lets women say some of the one-liners, which is sorely missing from most media.

But mostly, he was formative for a lot of people, and I had to live through many, many years of them earnestly entreating me to give his shitty writing another chance because this time I would somehow connect with this sex-negative parasite and his casting aesthetic that I didn't find hot or interesting.

(I like dumb and campy things. I just like them to star a bunch of body builders from New Zealand, not waifs.)

People always hold up the things they imprinted on as more revolutionary and deep than they seem in retrospect. In Whedon's case, his already obnoxious style suffers from having been copied so much since, but even if he weren't famous or popular, if you were talking to that one person whose adolescence was defined by their love of him, they'd say all this same nonsense your sister does.

[botanicalbonelord]

I think I've found the wildest piece of music history in existence. So I went to a audio/visual store today, and they had vintage cassettes, and I was amazed to find a Travelling Wilburys one. The Travelling Wilburys were a musical supergroup consisting of Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison, and Tom Petty. (I've linked their most popular songs, just in case you're not sure who they are.) So I was very excited to add it to my collection. (Side note: it plays great.) Upon opening it up this evening, I was looking at the inside pamphlet, you know, the kind that has designs and track lists and such. And I found an incredible piece of fake lore for the band, which I have typed out (CW for brief racial stereotype):

“The etymological origins of The Traveling Wilburys have aroused something of a controversy amongst academic circles. Did they, as Professor “BOBBY” Sinfield believes, originate from the various Wilbury Fairs which travelled Europe in Medieval times, titillating the populace with contemporary ballads, or rather, were they rather derived from “YE TRAVELLING WILLYBURYS”, who were popular locksmiths during the Crusades used to picking or unlocking jammed chastity belts (rather like today’s emergency plumbers.) Dr. Arthur Noseputty of Cambridge believes they were closely related to the Strangling Dingleberries, which is not a Group but a disease, an unpleasant form of crotch-rot; arguing that a “WILLBERRY” is often used as an expression for a piece of crud found in the crevice of an ancient pair of y-fronts; but I think this can be discounted, not only because of his silly name but also from his habit of impersonating Ethel Merman during lectures. Some have even gone on to suggest tenuous links with the Pillsburys, the group who invented Flour Power. Dim Sun, a Chinese academic, argues that they may be related to “THE STROLLING TILBURYS”, Queen Elizabeth the first’s favourite minstrels, and backs this suspicion with the observation that The Travelling Wilburys is an obvious anagram of “V. BURYING WILL’S THEATRE”, clearly a reference to the closing of Shakespeare’s Globe theatre by Villiers during an outbreak of plague. This would account for the constant travelling. Indeed, many victims of plague and St. Vitus’ dance literally danced themselves to death, and it is this dancing theme that resurfaces with The Wilbury Twist. Not a cocktail but a dance craze, reminiscent of The Wilbury Quadrille made famous at Bath in 1790 by Beau Diddley, and the Wilbury Waltz, which swept Vienna in the 1890’s. One thing, however, remains certain. The circumambulatory peregrinations of these itinerant mundivagrant peripatetic nomads has already disgorged one collection of popular lyrical cantata, which happily encapsulated their dithyrambic antiphonic contrapuntal threnodies as a satisfactory auricular experience for the hedonistic gratification of the hoi polloi on a popular epigraphically inscribed gramophonic recording. Now here’s another one. Tiny Hampton (Professor “TINY” Hampton is currently leading the search for Intelligent Life amongst Rock Journalism, at the University of Please Yourself, California.)"

(I've included links that might help contextualize the jokes/puns/references that I could pick up on.)

HELLO?????? WHICH ONE OF THEM WROTE THIS I NEED TO KNOW

And APPARENTLY, they all had Wilbury personas.

And BEST OF ALL, they named their SECOND ALBUM (which this is pulled from), "VOL. 3". IM WHEEZING.