#and carson is so short wtf

[fireworkss-exe]

pinterest is a place where you can find shit like this

[cuddly-t0y]

True! The Beatles tried with Magical Mystery Tour but we all know how influential that was (no one talks about it) But also I'm sure y'all know A Hard Day's Night is what inspired the Monkees at all in the first place.

I do really think though there's merit to comparing and contrasting Head and MMT (I'm not writing the whole thing I'm sorry) though so with my super vague memories I'll do that.

OP I'm so sorry to hijack your post and throw an essay in your rbs but I've had this in my brain for years and I can finally word it right

Ok the scenes that match up the most to me are the objectifying women scenes, but I want to point something out. Can You Dig It in addition to being a fucking fire ass song, is not too objectifying in the grand scheme of things. Belly dancers come on, vibe, and hang out with the Monkees. Fun drug trip. (Also no gif for this scene, I looked man)

MMT, you get to go to a strip club. No fucking reason, shit's off the rails. Boobs everywhere. I'm not kidding either, and we don't get to see Jan Carson strip to a Beatles song. Those vibes are very weird and there's a big reason why no one talks about it. It also serves as a really fascinating piece of history I guess.

Probably tied are obviously Circle Sky and Your Mother Should Know in terms of most similar visual presentation too. The boys got the white suits, they're performing, it's fun.

Your Mother Should Know is also a bop, which is kinda rare for me to say about the Beatles don't kill me please. The rhythm and tone reminds me of Cuddly Toy (hey my username :p) and there's very much a lightness to it. I think they threw it in because they needed something for the fans to vibe to after not knowing wtf is happening for half the movie. Fun, cute, not overplayed. (You could argue Daddy's Song also is a good candidate especially musically, but I decided to do visual elements of both, and I've written a lot about Daddy's Song on here. I want to do something else)

Circle Sky is like the song everyone loves for good reason. Mike sounds fucking awesome singing it, and I feel his voice on this track is what americana means to me. This song with the country rock energy with the drums and shit is unapologetically American to its core and the touches of country that the Monkees have in other albums is perfected. I have to restrain myself from singing CIRCLE SKY at max volume along with Mike whenever I put this on in public. Coupled with the commentary of how they were products to be consumed rabidly by fans, I think this is a fan favorite for good reason.

In short, I feel Magical Mystery Tour has some highlights (Blue Jay Way, Your Mother Should Know, Fool on The Hill) but it's just weird because they had the money to be weird at this point in their lives. Head is to me a much more thoughtful movie, and I love the whole soundtrack. Was it career ending for them? Arguably yes. But it was a beautiful ending and I'm so glad people know about it and are appreciating what it brought to the table.

[olehistorian]

Ok. So here’s my Downton Abbey: A New Era review: not really spoiler-y, but might be if you’ve not seen it yet.

I just saw the film this afternoon. The theatre was full, approximately 100 women and about two men. Many came in groups and sat together.

I plan on going back next week because I’m sure I missed some things and I just want to go again.

In my humble opinion A New Era was much, much better than the first movie. Honestly, I can now pretend that the first movie was some bizarre Julian Fellowes dream - a la Bobby Ewing in the shower. All the out of character things never happened. Molesley never made an idiot out of himself in front of the King and Queen and the downstairs crew weren’t running around scheming and playing the tricksters.

A New Era is the movie that should have been made in 2018. I think it hit the right tone between comedy and drama. I would have loved more of a true downstairs plot line, but there were a few nuggets of fan fiction-y stuff to keep me happy.

🗝🍷Chelsie - Seeing Charlie and Elsie at home, reading in bed was worth the price of admission alone, even though it was a short scene. I liked that Elsie was less snippy with Charlie in this movie as opposed to the first film. She was once again the nippy-sweetie as opposed to just being nippy. She was genuinely empathetic to Charlie at the end of the movie when they’ve learned not so shocking news. That’s the Elsie Hughes I’ve come to know and love; don’t know where she was in the first film, but I’m glad she’s back. Same with Charlie. We got to see his different sides, not just grumpy bear. The scene with Mary was touching; I love when Charlie shows his father figure, tender side. Chelsie have obviously settled into a happy marriage and all appears right in their world. Also, in the role reversal scene, Elsie was every inch the upstairs countess. I’d have loved to hear Charlie and Elsie’s conversation about her costume. I have a feeling he was impressed.

Mrs. Patmore - at one point, Mrs. P. looked like she’d just rolled up from her house of ill repute. 🤭😉 But, I’m here for it. The scene with her plotting at the dinner table was funny, and sweet. Mrs. P deserves a happy ending. You go, girl!

Daisy - was much less annoying than normal. Obviously, marriage agrees with her. I enjoyed seeing her and Andy settling into young married life.

Baxley- the movie theatre erupted into applause. Nothing more needs to be said.

Anna and Bates - they are happy. Finally.

Thomas - hopefully, he will finally be happy.

Denker - wtf happened to her hair?

I’m less interested in the upstairs folks, but that doesn’t mean I’m uninterested.

Mary - where is the Blessed Lady Mary? Hello? 😂 Seriously, I like Mary when she’s nice, but I like her bitchy side too. We got one snide remark at Edith’s expense. Maybe Mary has matured which is good because it is clear that she’s the new Dowager. Her life has already paralleled that of her grandmother even down to the type of marriage they have/had with semi-absentee husbands. Still, Mary’s quip game needs some work to live up to her grandmother’s standards.

Edith - is using her brain again. Thank goodness for that.

Cora and Robert - are blissfully happy, but why is Robert so tan?

Tom and Lucy - will be living at Felsham Hall. I wonder what Lady Jane thinks about that?🤔

The Dowager - Dame Maggie Smith - 👏🏻👏🏻. I was warned about the last 30 mins of the film, and that analysis was correct. Two hankies were definitely needed. A group of 20 year olds sitting down from me were sniffling too as were some other ladies at the opposite end.

I will say that seeing a few of the actors was a bit jarring as they have, quite naturally, aged (haven’t we all?). It reminded me that Downton can’t go on forever with all the same actors. Of course, I’d love a tv spin off with the Carson’s running their B&B with Mrs. P and Mr. Mason popping by, perhaps little Johnny Bates comes by after school for cookies. Ah, fan fiction!

It seems like Julian Fellowes has tied up all the loose ends neatly. Carson is back in charge, Cora will live, and Mary is facing up to her destiny as Downton matriarch.

If this is Downton’s farewell, I’m well-satisfied.

[not-a-sort-of-anything]

Fulfilling life comes with making free decisions

A few days ago an idea for a fanfic/mood/dream came to my mind. It goes like this.

A famous fashion influencer/photographer stays for a visit at Downton. Suddenly he sees Thomas and he is just fascinated by his perfect/handsome appearance. He asks Lord Grantham who this extraordinary man is. "This is our butler, Thomas Barrow." - "Oh, may I have a little chat with him, Lord Grantham?" Then he offers Thomas to come to London for a test photoshoot. At first Thomas is confused about this surprising offer, but it also sounds quite tempting. A new experience, a chance for an adventure apart from the daily shit at Downton. So, he asks Mr.Crawley if it would be okay, when he head up to London for this short shoot. Lord G. gives his permission, and so the journey begins.

The fashion/photographer people in London are thrilled with Thomas performance, especially his bitchy/dirty/smug looks. And so, a few weeks later, while he´s back at Downton again, he gets a phone call from the model agency. They offer him to travel to New York, to be there for minimum three months, live there in a model villa with six other international beautiful models from all over the world and a lot of very lucrative model jobs. WTF! 🤯

All the staff and the family at Downton can't believe it. Thomas, an sought-after model?? Oh yes! They can't get out of wonder. And so Thomas says goodbye and starts his adventure across the Atlantic.

During this periode, Thomas has a lot of exciting adventures, very modern and very interesting. That would become the A-rated part of the fanfic.

He also is very successful with his modelling, I mean, look at him. And so he gets an additional offer to stay there for the following season and continue his model career. But after all this Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll he misses something familiar, some calmness, he misses home. So Carson gets a telegram, that Thomas is going to come back.

With a huge amount of baggage, more money he can spend, the finest trendy clothes, and a modern stylish look he arrives at Downton and everybody is just so excited what he might report about his thrilling time in New York. Of course, he shows all the stunning photos from his jobs. But that´s not all. During his time in NY he collected personal presents for all the members of the staff. And one evening, when they all sit together in the servants room, listening to Thomas stories, Daisy asks "Thomas, why didn't you stay there for longer? This life sounds soo exciting. You might have been so happy." Then he looks shyly on his hands and responds quietly. "It was such an outstanding experience and I'm so thankful that I had the chance to live this dream, but after a while I recognized that all I want is to sit on this table, with a cup of tea... with all of you."

After achieving his personal and financial independence and getting so much appreciation, he DECIDES to live at Downton of his own free will. Maybe that doesn't make sense for everybody, but for me, as a Downtown and Thomas fan, it would be a lovely and romantic idea.

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

[alovevigilante]

I live in constant fear…. of these men. They’re honest, they’re gorgeous, and they’re freaking fun and hilarious. They are all amazing people and are great at what they do, and they change people’s lives…. for the better.

I do realize that they are not on the air anymore with recent episodes, and I’m not a man, nor am I a man that has the ability to be ambushed, and that’s a crying shame (not that I’m not a man, cause I’m MORE than cool with myself as is) but because they joosh up the planet with their electric energy.

But I have to be honest… in a way I’m relieved. Because every time I watch these men do their amazing transformational work on people, I look around my house, and shudder. And I pause the show, cause I’m 20 years behind the times and now binge watching “Queer eye for the straight guy”, so it’s all new to me. (I probably should’ve opened with that, but whatever. I’m not changing it, and now you’re caught up… )

And I review my surroundings, and think, “oh shit, my refrigerator has left overs from the dark ages, and it hasn’t been properly cleaned since the last time my Ma watched my son when he was a baby and did it for me, and now he’s almost 11. And Ted would notice that…”

And other thoughts, like, “I’m a 47 year old woman who wears her hair like a third grader who’s never gotten a haircut cause the mother was worried they would cut her baby’s hair off, but I’m that mother, and the baby…and Kyan would strongly disapprove of my lack of layers, split ends, and fly aways…”(the last 2 may actually mean the same thing, but that’s how little I know about the few hairs left on my head…🤷‍♀️🙈🤣)

And yet more thoughts, like, “my couch is almost 20 years old… should I throw a birthday party for it? Cause it’s a milestone…but Thom would faint.”

And still more thoughts, like, “I still have my grade school gym shorts in my closet. Is that weird and wrong? I’m 47.” Answer? Yes. Carson would wear them on his head, and go on and on about it for 4 hours straight…

And more and more thoughts of the like compounding on themselves! Like, “These thoughts are self deprecating and depressing. Oh! And I’ve basically stopped talking to everyone from my past, ever! Really! I did. I have no friends to speak of, or with, so it’d be a short and boring show with no party at the end to celebrate my change for the better. And I’m pretty depressed about it. In this case I would wonder, WWJS, also in this case meaning, “what would Jai say?”

So basically the fear of their judgement, keeps me semi motivated to continue cleaning and living in a somewhat proper, civilized human way. Because I started screaming when I was in my kitchen, and saw my ceiling fan, which was coated in a thick dust, and I thought, “holy expletive, they would PLOTZ, and the internal judgement was so heavy in my mind, that I climbed the step ladder, and cloroxed the crap out of what I could reach. And then lysoled the rest. And now, in the unlikely event of an extremely tall, observant gay man entering my home and pointing it out, I am completely covered. And I can feel free to judge others on their messes that I see in their shows. I won’t, cause that’s not a kind and loving thing to do, but I will still scream about it, and know that I could judge if I wanted to… but I won’t.

Yes. All 5 of these men, are fabulous, important, and make the fabric of America non polyester, and great…. STILL! #fire 🔥

P.S. since it’s 20 years outdated, I am also having fun ribbing them ever so slightly, but when you are that fashion forward, and it happens. But I don’t think they’ll mind, because since I’m watching their early episodes, I just made each of them 20 years younger!

So, in closing, to whatever this writing piece is supposed to be, there needs to be more episodes with THIS cast. Because it’s like replacing the Beatles with Carrot Top. Sure, it’s entertaining, but wtf?! 🤷‍♀️🤣

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Okay, here are my initial thoughts on Princess Adventure. These are in no way organized; they’re just as I can remember them. Feel free to send asks if you want

- Barbie defending Chelsea’s creativity and imagination is great to see. It’s one of the best parts of Dreamhouse Adventures so it’s nice to see them continue that in this film

- I like “Try It On” a lot more now. It’s not my favorite, and I think it’s one of the weaker songs in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack, but it’s honestly kind of a bop.

- “It’s like they don’t even want me in this movie!” LOL even Tammy herself knows she’s been done an absolute injustice.

- Holy crap Amelia’s plan is so freaking funny to me. She could’ve just, like...invited Barbie over to her kingdom since she’s the princess and was already a fan of Barbie’s vlogs anyway. But nah, she’s gotta have this whole convoluted “cultural exchange” bullshit I just can’t

- Speaking of Amelia, it’s a little disappointing that we don’t spend nearly as much time with her as we do with Barbie, and, thus, we don’t get to see who the supposed “real” her really is. She says she finally got to explore things about herself, like her fears and dreams, but she never goes into details. Ironically, the audience never gets to see who the true Amelia is, we just have to go off what she said about “who [she] is does matter”. I mean, we certainly get glimpses of it (again, the convoluted plan - she’s obviously ‘act first think later’), but overall it’s not nearly enough, at least to me

- “(Not A) Picture Perfect Girl” might just be my favorite song from this movie. It honestly made me tear up a bit. We’ll see if that changes over my next rewatches

- The running gag with Trey mixing up Barbie and Amelia while Ted and Ned knew was a lot funnier than I expected it to be

- Trey is now trans and you can’t change my mind.

- I really appreciate “Somewhere New” a lot more now since seeing it in the movie. I love that the choreography starts on the plane. It was a cool choice that really felt like a “musical” thing to do. I also like that everyone got to sing at leaset a line or two on their own. 

- WTF happened between Floravia and Johanistan? Did they have a war or something? Why are they being united into just a bigger Floravia? It sounds pretty fishy. I can understand why Johan is so upset based on what little information is given to us, so I wish they had gone into it a bit more.

- Johan asked “Amelia” (Barbie in disguise) if she remembered what they said they would do as rulers when they were kids. That never comes back and it really bothered me. What was the promise? That they’d rule together? That they’d treat each other’s kingdom equally? I actually thought at the coronation that Amelia would give the answer to that question (something like “Johan, remember what we told each other...”) and then do something like absolve the treaty so that she and Johan would rule their own respective kingdoms. l

- IDK, I think I would’ve just liked it more if Johan had been like Amelia’s brother/cousin/whatever that wanted to become King. He’d be a more boring villain that way but it would be less complicated than this.

- WE GOT REPRISES OF 2 SONGS BUT THEY AREN’T ON THE SOUNDTRACK?! I will NOT stand for that. As soon as the movie comes out on DVD I’m ripping those tracks out and adding them to my playlist

- I really thought Ken and Barbie were finally going to get together. I shall now accept my clown shoes and wig. I’m already applying the makeup now.

- The sequence for “Life in Color” disappointed me a bit. It’s one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack, but the placement in the movie felt like it came out of nowhere. I was really hoping for a nice, tender moment between Barbie and Amelia. Even if they were kept separated, it could’ve started with them video-chatting again. Maybe they’d talk about their personal struggles and then Barbie would stop the recording (”We don’t have to film this...”) and they’d just have a moment between themselves to talk.

- On the other hand, “King of the Kingdom” was such a good scene. It was very entertaining and I laughed a lot (which I had to hold back a lot since I was still at work). Also, those boys can move!!

- To make up for all of the interruptions and missed opportunities, Ken Carson deserves at least 3 episodes centered on him and his life and 1 where he finally tells Barbie how he feels

- TAFFY HAD NO REASON TO BE IN THIS MOVIE. I don’t care that Barbie almost always needs an animal sidekick. Snowy (Amelia’s bunny) fills that role. Taffy just gave everyone a freaking heart attack. Also, how the heck did she survive the plane ride? California to Floravia is a 10-hour flight so how did she stay unnoticed for so long?? ROBERTS FAMILY, GET SOME DAMN LEASHES!

- Speaking of that scene, I hate it. It ate up valuable time that could’ve been later spent developing the plot or Amelia’s character. It was only like 2 minutes but in a movie that is already pretty short (1hr11min) every second counts

- Can DA please finally drop the whole “Hey look Renee is claustrophobic” already? It’s repetitive as all hell and honestly it rubs me the wrong way how often it’s played for laughs. It works in the DA Halloween episode since it’s all about everyone facing their fears but everywhere else it feels like a cheap & undeserved laugh (it only happens twice in the movie I think but I wanted to mention it anyway)

- Morningstar being a little bitch to Barbie was hilarious. I don’t really like animal toys anymore but I’d totally buy her. (She’s part of a doll-horse set called Prance & Shimmer Horse. The Barbie doll has Amelia’s princess dress).

- “This is My Moment” really warmed my heart. The last shot with Amelia and Barbie smiling at each other reminded me a lot of Princess & the Popstar actually. I also really like how they brought back stuff from “Try It On” for Barbie’s verse. Musical finale numbers that bring back earlier motifs is something I just cannot get enough of. 

- I liked Alfonso. Like Amelia said, he means well; he just didn’t put as much thought into what Ameila herself wants as he could have. But hey, he was learning just as much as they were

- I LOVED all of the stuff with Barbie trying to make it big and that bitch Rose Ross being all “This is what you have to do to make it sweetie :)” like that’s a great thing to show to kids. You can want to be famous and expand your content like Barbie wanted to, but you have to be smart about it, and you have to stay true to yourself. That plotline also mixed pretty well with Amelia’s life being formulated for the public too. I really did like all of that stuff about how media, social media especially, is constantly fabricated and edited to make things seem easier/better than they might be in real life. 

- THEY FINALLY WENT BACK TO INDIVIDUAL END MORALS THANK GOD. I got really tired of seeing “This is our story, what’s yours?” after every Barbie movie, especially when every movie that used it wasn’t going for that message. Hell, that’s not even a lesson or anything, that’s just a random end quote.

- “Life doesn’t happen on camera. Life is what happens when the cameras are off” THAT IS SO GOOD AND RELEVANT I CAN’T EVEN!!!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[professorhotchkissesta]

CW Nancy Drew Explained by Someone who has Not Watched CW Nancy Drew: (this got super long I’m sorry)

~Disclaimer: I did watch 1 episode (2 episodes?) a long time ago so I do know the following:

1. Ned went to prison. He now goes by Nick; I’m pretty sure this is unrelated to the prison thing.

2. Ghosts are real. One is called Dead Lucy. More than anything, this makes me question how many Lucy’s are in town that we need to clarify which one we’re talking about. Is there an alive Lucy? Blonde hair short Lucy? Schrodinger’s both alive and dead Lucy? Come to think of it, ghostly Lucy does kinda seems like a Schrodinger’s situation

3. Ace is Joe Hardy.

~~~Everything else I’m gonna say is mainly based on posts from Megan and Kaitie, so HERE WE GO:

1. There’s a guy named Owen and a guy named Ryan. One of them is a garbage man. I’ve gone back and forth on this but I’m not really sure which one is which. If pressed, I’m pretty sure Ryan is a reformed garbage man, and Owen is king of the trash, top tier garbage man.

2. One of the garbage peoples are dead. I presume this is gonna be the mystery of the second season. Idk which one it is, but I’m pretty sure it happened in the bath.

3. Not being able to distinguish between the garbage people is a shame because I’m pretty sure one is Nancy’s dad and the other is her boyfriend.

4. If I had to guess, I would say Reformed garbage man is Nancy father. This is causing AngstTM for Nancy rn.

5. Owen’s last name is not Spayder. Disappointing.

6. Bess is a gay icon and is dating a police officer. She and Ace are homies.

7. George puts up with a lot. NickNotNed and her seem to be becoming partners in both restauranteeing and life. I have no idea if they’re actually dating yet.

8. Side note: Wtf does Ned Nick want to own part of a seafood joint. I’m pretty sure the answer is something heartfelt and great, but without context it leaves me confused.

9. Actually Hold Up. Aren't these kids like 18-19? How do they own a restaurant? ALSO does anyone even eat there? It’s always empty in these screen shots. I know ghosts sometimes visit but they are NOT paying customers. They must be losing tons of money if they don’t already own the building. NedNotNick this seems like a terrible investment plan. Actually on further thought, terrible investment plan in the name of friendship seems like a very Ned thing to do, so who am I to judge.

10. What was I talking about again?

11. OH! Going through characters. Right. Okay. Ace is a cook? Or a detective? Or an undercover detective cook? He and Nancy share lots of heartfelt glances. Also he says endearing things like “Bone Time.” I’m pretty sure this refers to a very specific bone they stole but really what do I know. Also we don’t know his actual name because it’s Joe. Doesn’t do libraries because he hung out there too frequently as a child. Apparently he now has enemies there. Maybe he never paid a large overdue fine and now the head librarian/(his mother?) hates him. I’m pretty sure this is only a minor throw away remark, but I’ve seen it come up too much not to intensely analyze it.  He and Nancy are Kaitie and Megan’s the fandom’s OTP. I’m pretty sure he kidnapped Carson once. Or broke him out of jail. Or kidnapped him after also breaking him out of jail. Carson didn’t seem to pleased about it. 

12. Okay, sorry but I’m back here again: Who is running the restaurant when the ClawCrew is out mystery-ing? Does it close? Who else works there? Is there a second cook available when Ace is out committing felonies and library-fee evasions? This is why your restaurant is always empty George. 

13. Carson might have killed Dead Lucy. Or I guess she was still technically alive Lucy back then. Okay, Carson might have killed Alive Lucy. I’m pretty sure he actually didn’t, but he was involved in some sus activity surrounding the whole ordeal. For some god forsaken reason he only got rid of the evidence recently. He does not seem to be the most intelligent.

14. Ace looks really good in gif and mood-board format

15.  The meniscus of water curves (downward? upward?). Okay I checked, it’s downward. This leads to Ace enjoy a refreshing beverage in the River Heights evidence room. It is super romantic.

16. I’m pretty sure some other stuff happened.

17. A mystery was solved. Probably.

[ariparri]

I was tagged by @carewyncromwell ! Thanks so much for tagging me!! ╰(*'︶'*)╯♡

It took a while since I struggled to put my thoughts into words, but I finally got this done! So I have two endgame ships here, Diego x Veruca and Carson x Tulip... then there's my other ship with Carson x Rowan... I think I'll stick to my first ship for this. If anyone's interested in Carson x Tulip or Carson x Rowan, just let me know and I'll work on that too! Not sure who to tag on this, so if you see this feel free to join in! Anyways let's get to it!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

The fact Veruca is a great dueler herself is just part of it. Diego finds Veruca's strong will to be very attractive. He loves her determination to find her brother Coby and put a stop to the vaults and R are one thing, but her determination to get stronger to be able to protect her friends and everyone else she cared about is what got him completely interested. That mischievous side of hers is also a nice plus if you catch my drift ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Above all of that, he’s completely smitten by her smile. He’s seen how some of her smiles aren’t genuine, knowing that she tends to put on a strong face to hide her true emotions. So whenever he manages to make her show a real smile, a true genuine smile, he’s practically blown away at such a sight.

What Veruca finds attractive in Diego would be how much of a charmer he can be. Yeah sure she didn't take him quite seriously in the beginning, but when he spent an entire week trying to prove to her how serious he was Veruca saw Diego in another light. She also loves his sincerity, and how he was very patient with her when she was trying to break out of her own insecurity. Since Veruca is prone to doubt her own self worth, Diego is always there to prove how precious she is to him. And Veruca just loves when he’s quick to sense when something’s wrong with her and immediately does something to make her feel better, it gets her all giddy inside.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Well obviously yes. I mean, didn't go out my way to make references for their daughters, Marisol and Carina, which can be found here.

Of course Diego would want kids, he loves kids, so having a few of his own would make him a happy man. However, with how Veruca grew up, she's more worried about whether or not she'll be a good mother. But with Diego by her side, she has nothing to worry about as he will be with her every step of the way.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Surprise, surprise, Veruca is really big on the cuddles. And Diego was absolutely ecstatic finding out about this, because they cuddle everyday. Their cuddles varies from the spoon where either of them can be the big spoon, to being cradled, to facing each other having their limbs entangled.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Since Veruca isn't big on extravagant dates or the like, she prefers the simple plans where she has quality time with Diego. Say like, a picnic in the park. However this picnic takes place at night under the starry sky, because Veruca is a sap like that. But because her partner is Diego, he's going to go out of his way to make the picnic look absolutely presentable. We're talking candles in jars, string lights or lanterns hanging overhead by the trees, maybe even a hammock to lay on while they gaze up at the stars. If they're up for it, they also love to duel each other. Since they're out in the open, they limit themselves to certain spells, the ones that cause the least to no amount of damage, I.e. Rictusempra. Dates to the club for some good old dancing fun are a usual thing every now and then, but nothing beats the intimate and passionate picnic dates.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

Veruca to Diego: You are my light

Diego to Veruca: You are my dream

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Veruca realized she was in love with Diego was when he spent an entire week trying to give her flowers. Knowing he was a flirt, Veruca never took him seriously. So when he started giving her flowers, each day being a different flower, she reacted poorly to each of them and gave them to her friends. She thought he would give up after the third attempt when she had an allergic reaction to the third flower. But when he showed up on the fourth day with a new flower, Veruca realized he wasn't playing around. She also noticed the confidence was slowly starting to leave his face every time she rejected him. So on the last day, to spare him any more pain Veruca was going to tell him to stop trying, until she saw the flower in his hand. It was a carnation, her favorite flower. Seeing the surprise look her face, Diego gives her a sheepish smile, "I should have asked Carson from the beginning, but I wanted to figure this out myself to prove to you how serious I am about this... it didn't turn out exactly as I hoped." Seeing how Diego was desperate enough to go this far to prove himself, Veruca realized just how much she was in love with him. She accepts the flower with small smile and a light blush on her face before thanking Diego and telling him how much she liked the gift.

When Diego realized he was in love with Veruca, was during one of their dueling sessions. Their match ended up in another draw and they continued to tease each other about who the better dueler of the two. With Veruca always showing her smug grin, Diego poked fun at her for not being able to show a real smile. They went back and forth on this topic for a while until Diego declared that if he won their next duel Veruca had to show him a real smile. Veruca found that to be a weird punishment but agreed nonetheless. As she was leaving, she turned back to him, “There’s no need for that, Diego. If you really want that smile so badly...” and showed him a true genuine smile. The smile was so bright, it almost made Veruca look like a completely different person. Diego’s heart practically stopped at the sight. ‘When did it get so bright? Why are there sparkles everywhere? Wtf? How can someone with such a big trouble making streak have the most purest smile in the world?!’ Satisfied with his reaction, Veruca left him staring like a starry eyed little kid.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Diego is the most gentle one of the two. And although Veruca is a little rough around the edges, but she has shown to be gentle towards Diego. It's very obvious by how they embrace and talk to each other. Hands are always intertwined or their arms are wrapped around each other. And when they speak to the other, their voice is always soft and light giving it a loving tone. And Diego is a gentleman, so whenever they go out for walks, he’ll always walk by the road so Veruca is on the safer side. He even opens doors for her, and when they cross the street Diego will take a few steps onto the road to stop someone just so Veruca can walk by and he’ll make a dramatic swooning sound as she does making her laugh.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Veruca likes the finger hand hold, either she intertwined her fingers with Diego's or just holds one of his fingers. This a more romantically playful method for times when she's feeling flirtatious. This is the easiest hand hold for Diego to pull away from, but is still a great way to add some fun intimacy to the mix. While Diego prefers to clasp both his hands over Veruca's own, sometimes even placing a small kiss on her fingertips.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Veruca: -veruca.exe. has stopped working- -thoughts on overdrive- -code red- -code red!-

Veruca: He... seems quite reasonable... very handsome too...

Diego: She puts on a strong face... but her eyes tell a different story.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Veruca does get jealous. Although she tries not to show it, it's still kind of obvious. Now Veruca knows Diego is faithfully loyal and would never do anything to ruin their relationship. If anyone tries to get uncomfortably close to Diego, Veruca has a stare that could most likely kill. She'll be burning holes in the person's head. However if this person doesn't take the hint, Veruca will have to get involved. No threats, although she is capable of sending someone to the hospital. She'll look them straight in the face and with a deadpanned expression, "you're doing it all wrong... getting his attention that is..." and then turn to Diego and pull him in for an intense make out session right in front of the person making them uncomfortable. After a short while, Veruca will pull away, wiping her mouth and looking directly at the person, "that's how you do it, of course you won't be able to since he's already mine."

Everyone knows Diego can get jealous... like easily jealous. Despite Veruca being able to take care of herself, I.e. punching the bastard in the face for trying anything on her... Diego still can't help but feel jealous whenever someone tries to hit on her. He'll get in between them, having a not so innocent smile before wrapping an arm around Veruca and placing a quick kiss on her lips. Once he pulls away he turns to the person while feigning surprise with an, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there. Did you need something?" And Veruca being the smug little shit, plays along with him. Even after the person leaves and Veruca has to constantly reassure him that no one will come between them, Diego refuses to let Veruca go.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Most of their kisses are very playful, bunch of light pecks all over the face. The slow, sensual kisses are for the more romantic moments if you catch my drift ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I mean, there are simple moments where their kisses are slow and romantic.

Veruca was the one who initiated the first kiss, surprisingly. While they were out on their third picnic date night, laying on the blanket under the stars while Diego peppers kisses all over her face. As she looked up at him, she didn’t know what came over her. It could have been the atmosphere, or the moon shining down on them. But the way Diego looked in the moonlight, making him look all godlike, had so many thoughts running through Veruca’s mind that she brought her hands up to his face and pulled him down for a kiss.

L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

It takes place the same night when Veruca and Diego had their first real kiss. After pulling away from the kiss and seeing Veruca's flustered face pulled at his heart strings. With a loving smile, resting his forehead on hers while caressing her face, Diego whispers those three magical words to her, and it was enough to put tears in Veruca’s eyes. It was one of the most romantic and memorable night the two had.

M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

Diego's favorite memory would be during the summer after 5th year, where he Veruca and the rest of their friend group decided to spend their vacation together. Seeing how the sun shined behind her, giving her an ethereal glow and that gentle smile she usually shows to a few people. He was able to see Veruca act in a way not everyone at Hogwarts was able to see. He loved seeing the happy smile on her face when they were hanging out at the beach. That same night, the group decided to watch a horror movie before going to bed. Diego wasn't aware of how Veruca was absolutely terrified of anything horror related. So when Veruca clung onto Diego's arm and saw how pale her face got during a big jump scare, Diego wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. They stayed like that as they fell asleep and into the morning where they woke up to the others taking pictures of them together.

I touched up on this in Feelings, but Veruca's favorite memory would be the time Diego spent an entire week giving her flowers. To prove he was serious about his feelings, he tried gifting her a flower. The first flower was a rose, because of how cliche it was Veruca gave it to someone else. He kept trying with a different flower each day only to have Veruca show no interest in any of them. It was until the last day when he found out that Veruca's favorite flowers were carnations. She loved how determined he was to prove his feelings. Looking back on it now, Veruca found it funny how he approached her one day with a flower she was allergic to, remembering the face he made was enough to put her in a little laughing fit.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Diego would most likely get in trouble by Veruca if he even buys her anything expensive. But he just can't help it, he loves Veruca and whatever he sees that he knows Veruca would like he just has to get it for her. Veruca doesn't have it in her to stay mad at him when he's put so much thought into the gift. There is one gift, however, that Veruca wouldn't mind receiving everyday. And those are carnation flowers. Veruca's way of spoiling Diego is through the little things. Massages every now and then, Diego's favorite would be when he rests his head on her lap while they're both reading a book and she's running her fingers through his hair. Yeah sure it's not an actual massage, but the way she does it sends shivers down his spine. Always making him lunch whenever he goes out to work, and some of the treats in the dish are shaped into little hearts, something Diego originally thought was out of character for her but realized she was truly a big old softie. Kisses galore! Pecks here and there, and everywhere! They both live for that stuff, they can never have enough of it.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Sage green reminds Diego of Veruca, not because she was a Slytherin but because of her eyes. To Diego, it's a beautiful shade of green he's ever seen. Especially when the light reflects on it just right, making her eyes shine even brighter. No jewel or gem can even compare to those beautiful eyes of hers. Denim blue reminds Veruca of Diego, mainly because of the denim jacket he used to wear a lot back in Hogwarts. But the reason why blue reminds Veruca of Diego for how he’s helped her. The color blue calls to mind feelings of calmness or serenity. It is often described as peaceful, tranquil, secure, and orderly. Blue is often also seen as a sign of stability and reliability. Diego provides these feelings for Veruca, and that’s why she’s always reminded of him whenever she sees the color blue.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Diego mainly calls Veruca by her nickname, Ruca, when she admitted she liked it when he called her that. It's pretty much a big deal to him since he's the only one allowed to call her that. Veruca calls Diego, Heart Throb, for obvious reasons. Guy can get her heart beating so fast he starts to worry he might cause her heart to explode. Then there are names of endearment they often use, such as 'love,' 'sweetheart,' 'honey/hon,' or even the occasional 'babe' every now and then.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Veruca likes to collect antique pins and brooches. Diego loves listening to old music records.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rainy days are good days to just sit on the couch and laze about as the rain pours. If they're in the mood, which is usually all the time, they'll start slow dancing in the living room to the rain.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Words aren't needed when these two are trying to make the other feel better. Just being there for the other simply puts them at ease. Diego always prepares a cup of ginger tea for Veruca and proceed to embrace her in a comforting hug while she clears her mind. With Diego, Veruca always hugs him from behind and will either rub his shoulders or run her hands up and down his arm. Nothing is said between them, showing that they have a deep connection with one another and it instantly puts them in a good mood to where they'll start playing around and try to make the other laugh.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

They both like to talk about the good days during their time at Hogwarts. They like reminiscing about all the fun times they had with their friends. Anything they see in their usual day would always remind them of how much fun they had when they were younger. They talk a lot about their future and having a family as well. Diego knows how much Veruca doesn't see herself to be suited as a mother or a wife with how her own mother always spoke of how Coby was her only hope of having grandchildren. But Diego does his very best to push those thoughts out of Veruca's mind by telling her how much of a perfect woman she already is.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Massages usually helps them both relax. Their favorite way to unwind is lounging lazily on the couch entangled in each other, Diego running his hand up and down Veruca's arm sending chills throughout her body while Veruca runs her hand through his hair and they're just breathing each other in.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

It's clearly obvious Diego is the type to show off, whether it's his dueling or his dancing skills. Veruca loves to watch him do what he does best. Veruca, herself, is a great duelist and definitely prides herself in her dueling skills. Another thing she likes to show off is how great of a flyer she is too. And since they're so deeply in love with each other, they're clearly proud of having the other as their partner and love showing each other off. Although Veruca's way of showing Diego off isn't as out there as Diego's way.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Two years after graduation is when they decide to officially tie the knot. Since Diego knows Veruca isn't that big on fancy and extravagant things, he doesn't plan a big proposal. He'll take her out on a simple date, a picnic at the same spot they went on their first date. Maybe even pull her up for a little slow dance, Diego will start to talk about when they met to how he fell in love with her and everything after. Veruca most likely knew the direction this was going but lets him continue. As soon as he gets down on one knee and pulls out the ring, Veruca doesn't even give him a chance to ask the question before she throws herself onto him.

If Veruca were to propose, it would definitely be quick and straight to the point. Probably after waking up the next morning, as she heads to the kitchen and Diego greets her with a fresh plate of her favorite breakfast and a kiss to the cheek and that's when Veruca lays it out on him. "Hurry up and marry me already." She says groggily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Stand By Me, by Seal. It's their go to song to dance to.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Before starting a relationship with Diego, the thought has never crossed Veruca's mind. She had come to a conclusion that she was the "undatable" type thanks to the vaults and her brother as well as how her mother was very cynical about everything regarding her. But after being with Diego for so long, the thought of getting married has never left her head it often distracted her from her work or other activities.

Marriage has definitely crossed Diego's mind before. But he knows how Veruca is when it comes to opening up with her feelings, so he doesn't rush into it. He would wait for the right moment, when Veruca is much more confident in her feelings before he starts planning.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Veruca already has a pet. And his name is Gambat the fruit bat! Veruca and Diego would also get a Collie and name him Pesky for how super active he can be. All his running around can end up knocking something down accidentally.

[stargate365]

[SGA] 2.02: The Intruder

Previously on Atlantis… We managed to Not Die at the hands of the Wraith. I mean, John tried to do a suicide run, but the Daedalus yoink-ed him right out of there, thank Caldwell! Also, Ford got roofied with Wraith enzyme and ran away from home.

John, stop showing off. Liz is going to smack you.

Okay, I can understand the bragging, but Liz wants you to stop doing it to her.

An emergency?? Dead? How?? Wtf??

Electrocuted?? Yikes…

Oooh. Flashbacks.

Lol, like Liz was going to let you put somebody else in to replace John.

I love Liz. If you don’t want a Major in charge… Promote Him. Promotion or Die. :D

Lol. Rodney forgetting John’s promotion is the best thing.

Hermiod must be so freaking bored of Humans. Probably wonders who he killed in his past life.

“Is he supposed to be naked like that?” *Hermiod mumbling probable insults about John*

Oh shit! What the fuck!!

What? An airlock? Dude, that’s a scary, scary place to be.

Is he okay? He looks like he inhaled the coolant. What is that? Halogen gas?

What’s with the sound… what the ever-living fuck??

Ohmygod… oh god.

Okay, now that was a dig at Liz.

Poor Carson trying to choose new personnel. “This is your short list?”

Oh… poor Liz, Simon doesn’t want to come?

A computer virus?? Well crap.

“Airperson, don’t be there.” I love how Rodney is learning to be a little less polite.

Well… that’s not good. ☹

“Will that really work?” “Absolutely… I think.”

Okay, John succeeded in killing the transmission, but now his 302 is running away with him.

Well crap. Crap indeed.

Oh good, he looks like he’s in once piece. You got all your fingers and toes John?

Oh jeez. Poor Liz.

That’s my boys! Off to save the day… if they can get there.

“It worked.” Always the tone of surprise… crap. Crap crap crap!!

“We should really be dead right now.” Thank god for Hermiod.

Hide in one of the ships!!

I love how they all have little flashlights.

*Hermiod swearing*

Oh dear… the missing 302. Goddammit!!

Poor Rodney having to sit in the backseat while Expert Fighter Pilot John Sheppard does his thing!!

*sighs*

Okay, but at least we made it back to Atlantis without anything else going wrong…

Carson tiredly doing anything necessary to prevent Rodney from having a full scale meltdown.

I think even after everything, Liz is just happy to be home.

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && ivy

WHEN: january 25th

DESCRIPTION: raelynn & ivy finally become friends.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: nsfw

@ivyisms

ivy

You are now subscribed to Ivy Serrano Pictures Daily. Here’s your first picture! To cancel, reply STOP. To increase to hourly pictures, reply HOURLY. Msg and data rates may apply.

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raelynn.

STOP

ivy

Your subscription has been increased to hourly! You must be a big fan! Here’s another picture. To cancel subscription, reply STOP at any time. Msg and data rates may apply.

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raelynn.

[...]

Okay, hi ivy.

ivy

Command not recognized. You must want another picture already!

raelynn.

I looked at the number, I know you're not a bot.

Those shorts are cute.

ivy

aren’t they? sometimes there’s a little cheek that peaks out i love them

raelynn

I love how they're cut at the bottom wtf where did u get them

also?? legs?? hello??

ivy

i cut them myself actually!! out of some old jeans

actually wait stop don’t distract me with compliments i don’t like you

raelynn.

OMG of course duh why didn't i think of that-

i don't know you to not like you

and i swear that's not some kind of diss. i just legit have never met you.

ivy

weird cause you acted like you knew me the other day in the chat lmao

raelynn.

okay so let's unpack that.

tell me how you felt i was acting like i knew you.

i'm not fighting, i don't have anymore of that in me today, i am just genuinely coming from a place of wanting to understand what happened

ivy

what is this, therapy?

do you seriously not remember?? i mean you had a lot to say about me

raelynn.

no but i wish

i don't remember genuinely.

i make a lot of people mad. i'm good at it. i'm a total fucking bitch.

ivy

something about me being jealous because i’m the only one not so far up wes’s ass that i can see what a terrible fucking person he is

lol same but at least i remember so i know who to avoid

raelynn.

OH it was about wes.

it was the day people were kind of piling on him. okay. yes.

See I don't remember saying that but I won't deny that I did because it sounds like me.

If I get high enough on defense I'll just start saying shit.

Wasn't cool for me to say that about someone I don't even know, so I'm sorry.

As for inserting myself into that drama, you know, I probably was just in the mood to - in the words of Tiffany Pollard, "ruin lunch, purposely"

And I mean, I didn't know anything about it, and when I think about how shit I feel now that my ex is back in town, and how shit I feel that so many people are willing to jump in front of a bus for him, you know, I get how it looked, and how it felt, and you know, I'm sorry for that too tbh.

ivy

to be fair he deserves it when people pile on him

he’s such an insufferable asshole all the fucking time i swear

you know what though i respect the chaos and willingness to fight for no reason

i’m just the wrong one to do it to

but like i said before (idk if you remember lol) everybody makes mistakes

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

everybody has those days?

ivy

and that dumbass truly is not worth fighting over i just simply have to make it known how much i hate him every time he speaks in case he forgets and in case everyone else forgets how much he sucks

exactly

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

tbh that's exactly what came over me when my ex showed up

ivy

they’re wise words you know

exes are stupid every single one of them

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

and the fact that someone i considered a friend is just moving in with him like it's no big deal.

ivy

you mean delilah? she does that lol

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

she really doesn't think about anyone outside of herself and i've always given her the benefit of the doubt.

but idk. i'm not talking to her rn.

ivy

those twins are a menace sometimes

i want to like her so bad but her and alex constantly fighting and making up and fighting is about to make me snap

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

honestly being her friend while watching her do that is even harder.

i like alex on his own but with her? not so much, and well, i'd say vice versa but idk about vice versa anymore.

i mean what kind of weirdo moves in with their friends' ex even if they've "known them forever"

ivy

alex is my ride or die he’s the only man i’ll ever admit i love

and he left me and disappeared for a while because of her

so it’s hard to move on even if his stupid ass is

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

people love doing that. leaving.

ivy

don’t they? like grow up and face it smh

i’m never letting anyone run me out of my city idc what happens

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

my entire life is here and if carson thinks i'm going anywhere he can physically fight me

ivy

i don’t really know him but i’d still put my money on you winning any day

as long as you don’t come for my throat again you seem like the kind of person i’d be friends with

a bad bitch tbh

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

tbh you're so hot and i regret yelling at you instead of asking for your number

ivy

i mean you got it anyway didn’t you

i’m gonna tell myself it was all just a long game to get my number

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃

omg our new origin story is that i was just shy

ivy

i don’t blame you, people tell me i can be intimidating

and that’s a much better origin story than us being this hot and beefing over a m*n

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

honestly i'm about ready to leave m*n in the past. imagine the energy that could be saved. the eye bags i wouldn't have.

ivy

me too i’m trying to condition myself to just be a lesbian i’ve had enough of m*n in general

all men do is lie and have the audacity

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

god i hate my fucking ex.

i truly can't say that enough.

i'm literally a bad bitch why am i fucking crying over hot chocolate and watching a ryan murphy show on netflix.

ivy

you are down so bad i’m so sorry

at least you still have taste ryan murphy shows are usually really good

we should go out drinking soon and i can help remind you what a bad bitch you are

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

Id love that. Im working tonight but maybe like Friday?

ivy

i have plans friday

what about saturday?

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

That works

ivy

perfect it'll be our first step to world domination bc i already know we're gonna be too powerful together

if a m*n tries to talk to me just like bark at them or something pls

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

god that's so sexy of you

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week Two

Fellas, 

I believe we can all agree that the first few weeks of Fantasy can be weird. Players are still figuring out their roles with their teams, defenses are game-planning players differently, etc. However, we’re starting to see some teams in our league establish themselves at the top or bottom of our league. With that being said, let’s not count anyone out just yet. Like we saw, last year E started 0-7 and rallied back to claim his title. Good luck to everyone in week three. On to the recap. 

_

Fire Jarn v. Debbie Rowe

A tale as old as time: Robbie comes out hot and then plummets at the end of the season. We’ve all seen it. But here we are again and Robbie is back to 2-0. Robbie has been the enemy of the state this week with his single-handed responsibility of the Cats losing, contributing to Jane’s already rough weekend. Rob came out hot again this week with another big week from Brady. The HOF was aided by big games from Kerryon, Boyd, Godwin, and Vance-Will-Make-Em-Dance. The question mark for Rob would be: does Kamara thrive or plummet with the absence of Brees in NO? Jake’s rough weekend continued into Sunday with a pretty lackluster game all around but it started on Thursday night. CMC started the week off with 5.3 points. Yeah, the guy who had 32.9 points came out with a dud in a 27+-point drop. Add that in with Evans’s 6.1 points add to the disappointment. Aaron Jones, Kupp, and even Eifert Zone were good plays but the production across the board wasn’t there. Even Deshaun (absent his one TD run) didn’t bring much to the table. Both teams have interesting matchups next week. 

VP v. Wilmore Cinderella

In the battle of two teams that find themselves at the bottom of the point scorers, we saw Vinny and JP square off in a yuck-bowl. Vinny is trending like his Dolphins and that is not a good thing. In Vinny’s defense, he struggled with the injury bug this week. Vinny’s holding on to AB before his potential suspension and big games from Gould and Sanders helped him out. The bad news: his franchise Quarterback is out for several weeks moving forward. On top of that, Damien got hurt in their game. Those two combined with rough week two games from Jones and Hopkins don’t help. JP was on the bottom-half of point scorers this week but found enough change in the couch to get him the win. The top half of JP’s team comes with a lot of question marks: 

Cam is STRUGGLING

Conner got hurt

Thomas did enough but what will he look like without Brees?

Can Diggs be good when Cousins sucks? 

Two teams with serious question marks going into week three. 

Team Timshel v. Virginia Kuppcakes

Going from two teams with question marks to another that is arguably the worst team in the league at this point (PVO). Money Bags Mike spent his coin on a handcuff that he didn’t need this week. Dak was back along with good plays with Gurley, Breida, Keenan, AP, and J-Tuck (duh). Mike’s team looks like one that if they put everything together, has a chance for a sneaky run. The sad part about this: Mike scored less than 100 points and still almost doubled up Al. Al’s team STINKS (PVO) right now. Sloppy is out for the year, DJ struggled outside of his one TD, same with James, Thielen can’t be counted on right now because Kirk sucks, OJ has combined for 1.2 points in two weeks (1.2!!!!), Mixon is hurt (and the Bengals stink), and even Gostkowski missed a field gold and two extra points. Now, let’s take a step back and take a deep breath. There were some positives: Cooks had a solid showing and there were some positives on his bench: Kirk (11.4), Penny (12.5), Fitz (10.4), Gore (14.3), and Josh Allen (22.2). There might be hope for Al yet but he’s going to need to step it up or soon he’ll be game-planning for Cabana day. 

El Commish v. The Perfect Ten

Look, I’m happy to have won but are we worried about E starting 0-2? Personally, I don’t care because I was a force to be reckoned with this week. My top scoring performance was a big turnaround from last week’s disappointing start. Yes, it was good to see good games from Henry, Kelce, and even DJ Moore set the tone early on TNF but, in the words of E: “Pats d… Wtf jarn.” The aforementioned disgusting Dolphins were huge for me in my defensive effort giving up 4 picks (4!!!!!!!), two of those being pick-sixes (Fitzmagic is trash!), and seven sacks all without surpassing 200 total yards and zero points. For those following along at home, that equals 35(!!!) points from my defense. I mean, how bad could you possibly be? Finally, my Falcons stepped up on SNF to seal my victory with bounce-back games from Matty Ice (19.1), Julio (22.6) and Matt Bryant (7). Although it wasn’t a ton of points, either way, E didn’t really stand a chance. E had some bright spots this week with OBJ having himself a game (22.1 points) and guys surpassing their projections for the week: Stafford (of course), Sony, Ekeler, and Ridley helped give E the bulk of his points. The question for E right now is: should he be concerned with the absence of Tyreek? If OBJ and Ridley continue the points from this week, no. However, he should be concerned if the production doesn’t stay and if he needs to make some changes down the stretch. Finally, I’m not too concerned for his Matt Prater -2. That’s likely an anomaly but could be an issue if it turns into an Adam Vinatieri collapse.

Kalabar’s Revenge v. Stick With Us PVO 

The game everyone was looking at on Monday night pitted Spooky G v. Dylan and his Browns. There were a couple of questions for both teams going into the primetime game: Could G continue his hot streak with the Chiefs offense? Could Dylan avoid the Browns-win-Dylan-lose (and vice versa) correlation? Both of those questions proved vital to both teams. G’s team secured the win this week with another massive game from Mahomes and double-digit games from Le’Veon, and Singletary. The problem was only one other player hit their projection for this week: Rams D. He did have some good points on their bench but this may be something that he needs to keep an eye on. From Dylan’s end, he spent a lot of money on players he didn’t even play this week and, like G, had a good amount of points on his bench. For Dyl, he had four players in double figures but five in total who failed to reach their projections this week. I’ll be interested to see if Dylan shakes things up a bit (does he bench Baker?) or just hope that this week was a fluke? Either way, I’m not counting either of these teams out nor am I crowning them early. 

Hank Mardukas v. Mr. Magorium 

Speaking of spooky, how should Gabe feel right about now? We’ll hear from him shortly regarding the Kurse but I know I’m grateful I don’t have that burden on me. In regards to the matchup, Scott put on a show this week following up from last week’s victory. Huge games from Lamar, Dalvin, and Golladay almost had enough to surpass Gabe alone. Scott only had two players not reach double figures in his dominant effort. Scott’s always been full of question marks so we’ll see if he can sustain this production from his superstars. For Gabe, his top three flourished. Great games from Goff, Zeke, and Chubb, who all exceeded their projections, was really the only bright spot for Gabe this week. In fact, not a single other player hit their projection this week and it wasn’t really close. Woods and Gordon took a backseat to other WRs on their respective rosters, Vernon and Carson couldn’t repeat last week’s performance, and even his D and kicker came up short. I’m not sure if Gabe should be concerned just yet as there is a lot of potential on his team but he has to do something to get on the good side of G. With that, let’s hear from the man himself. 

The Biggest Loser (PVO)

This was a Biggest Loser for the ages. We had Gabe and Scott on to talk about their matchup with a special guest. We talk spirits, lineups, and Gabe makes a lot of claims about other teams, including a guarantee. 

Week 3 Matchups

Debbie Rowe (1-1) v. El Commish (1-1)

***The Perfect Ten (0-2) v. Mr. Magorium (0-2)*** GAME OF THE WEEK

Fire Jarn (2-0) v. Hank Mardukas (2-0)

Wilmore Cinderella (1-1) v. Virginia Kuppcakes (0-2)

Stick With Us PVO (1-1) v. VP (0-2)

Kalabar’s Revenge (2-0) v. Team Timshel (2-0)

_ 

Best of luck this week, gentlemen. As always, set your lineup accordingly. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[survivorhephaestus]

RITES OF PASSAGE

Logan, Katie, Josh, and Jakey, it’s time for us to remember those who have fallen. It’s been a long and winding journey up here among the stars, and you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the other twelve people who used to be part of the crew.... so let’s take a moment to say their names, and memorialize their place in the cosmos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf8hdNL7ZUA

KAREN

Jakey: 

“KAREN i wish you waited more than 5 minutes to come after me cause i wanted to work with you!!! i knew u were good with katie n would be a good ally but u rly tried to eat this pussy and i wasn’t into it!!!! but ik you’re rly funny and you prob would’ve been more active than most of these people so im sry :( but i rly had to show these bitches not to continue trying me”

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a deer because you're friendly, peaceful, and compassionate. - Your song: MMMBop by Hanson“

Katie:

"I love you bitch, I ain't never gonna stop loving you, biiiiiitch."

JAY

Jakey:

“i wish we were able to talk more!!! your time was cut short because you chose the wrong side and i was just getting out the people who voted for me im sry bae”

Katie:

"Whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe."

LAURENCE

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a deer because you're friendly, peaceful, and compassionate. - Your song: MMMBop by Hanson“

Katie: 

"Ah f**k, I can't believe you've done this."

STEVIE

Jakey:

“hello my king. i wish you just voted with me the first round!!!!! i rly liked you, but i had stronger relationships with everyone else and felt i could trust them more. i appreciate your fight tho it was fun playing together!“

Josh:

“I was really excited to see you and to play with you again! It’s just a shame that we ended up in a position where we couldn’t. Hope you’re doing well though!“

Katie:

"Do you want to go see Uncle Cracker or no?"

OWEN

Jakey:

“!!!!! you were in this game that is WILD to me… the all stars casting WHEW this was a cast from hell, truly. KJFJKKFJ but I’ve always loved u even if we aren’t always working together in games. and in this game we started on opposite sides which is ultimately why i had to make the move i did!!! no matter how much i wanted to play w you down the line, you had ur allegiances!!!! i wish i was at least able to catch up w you :( remember that snap you sent me on thanksgiving once???????????????????????? ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;))))))CTFU”

Katie:

“Um, I'm never been to oovoo javer."

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a penguin because you're gentle, enigmatic, and hard-working. - Your song: Temptation by New Order”

CARSON

Jakey:

“wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you rly had to get voted out right before a merge… we would have RAN THIS GAME!!!! ily i hope ur great bc ur great and u deserve everything a literal ANGEL!!!! im gonna yell at katie for voting you out now”

Josh:

“The Minkowski music video we did was the best one I’ve seen and it’s thanks to your dancing! It was nice getting to know you and to play with you!”

Katie:

“Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.“

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a horse because you're noble, loyal, and free-spirited. - Your song: Waterfalls by TLC”

RICHIE

Jakey:

“!!!! my actual favorite… you were def my closest ally (asides from renee) and i loved our little f3 sm ugh… the first merge round rly was the ugliest thing i’ve ever seen and i’m so sorry i couldn’t save you :( youre the funniest person on this cast and i wish we had more time to fuck shit up in this game together. we did premerge tho so i’ll cherish our moments <3″

Josh:

“My Arabia child! I’ve always been a fan of you and after watching you play twice as a host I was so excited to finally play with you! We really had a great thing going and was totally 100% with you but towards the end the relationship kinda took a dive as I’ve met more and talked to people.”

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a hedgehog because you're sarcastic, cunning, and individualistic. - Your song: Jumpin' Jumpin' by Destiny's Child”

DREW

Jakey:

“the cat with nine lives!!! even tho we legit met at the merge, i was so loyal to you. you were someone alone in the game and i was on the bottom so hell yeah i wanted us to slay!!!! but unfortunately, YET AGAIN, i was so close to saving you but it fuckin tied and ONCE AGAIN, i was the only one to stick to my word and keep you in the revote. A TREND… that i die for my allies cause YOU DESERVED SOMEONE BEING LOYAL TO YOU IN THIS GAME GKJGJKKJG i love u and that’s that. u slayed this season as an underdog i was shook!”

Josh:

“Whenever we play games like this somehow we always end up not on the same side even if we have a 400~ day streak LOL”

Katie:

“Country boy, I love you ahhhwweelhwh...”

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a zebra because you're loyal, intelligent, and committed. - Your song: Dreams by Fleetwood Mac”

PATRICK

Jakey:

“i can’t believe we were able to play this game together for a while and put the past in the past! the premerge was the jakerick fantasy… when you didn’t lie and ignore me </3 hahah but i understand why you chose to play the game you did and i can’t fault you for it!!!! you tried to kill minkowski but i WOULDN’t let u KJFJKFKJ ily pat and i think you’re honestly a kind, caring person with good intentions. not to mention you crack me UP— your sense of humor is truly unique and hilarious and it’s the part i admire the most of u. great game, yet again, pat!”

Josh:

“Pattycakes! I really enjoyed the time we spent together in this game! Working with you from the start was such a pleasure. Thanks for humouring me when I have the nerd itch (can’t wait for the CR animated special! uwu)”

Katie:

“So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?”

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a giraffe because you're self-confident, charming, and vainglorious. - Your song: What I Like About You by The Romantics”

KARTER

Jakey:

“you are so sweet!!! we obviously weren’t on the same side of many votes this season. we started separately and you had your loyalties so i knew i wouldn’t ever be a very close ally to you. you played this game very well and i have so much respect for you as a game player! if this was ur first game im VERYYYY impressed i think my first game i would randomize my vote cause i thought it was funny. JKFJKF but anyway whew u were a tough competitor! wish u the best w everything <3″

Josh:

“We may not have spoken that much but the time we spent together i feel like you’re very sweet and you struck me as a person who couldn’t hurt a fly! Your spacesuit in our music video was iconic too!”

Katie:

"I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gone get no sleep cause of me!"

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a panda because you're caring, playful, and self-sufficient. - Your song: Groove Is in the Heart by Deee-Lite”

LYDIA

Jakey:

“i wasn’t going to make one for you cause i don’t want anything i say to be seen as a strategic-gain in this game, but i just rly want to say i don’t hate you. i do think you’re a kind person w a good heart and good intentions. we may not always mix in the right way, but i think in real life without the stress of this game, we’d be good friends, and i hope we can work things out after this all!!”

Josh:

“The moment I saw you on the cast list I was so excited and decided then and there that I want to work with you given the chance and I’m so glad we did! I enjoyed our short calls of us panicking and doing wild impulsive stuff. This game is very stressful and part of the reason I managed to hang in there was because you were able to keep me from overthinking too much.“

Katie:

“"Nice Ron" "I sneezed, oh, what, am I not allowed to sneeze?"“

Logan: 

“- If you were an animal, you would be an owl because you're intuitive, observant, and skillful. - Your song: I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) by Whitney Houston”

RENEE

Jakey:

“imyimyimyimy why’d u leave me!!! my partner-in-crime this whole game!!! i love you renee we clicked INSTANTLY and from there you’ve been my ride o die this whole way. when ppl would say where’s renee??? she’s inactive. i’d be like pls she could show up for 5 minutes per round and still get the votes to save herself. YOU’RE A LEGEND and an underrated queen! if your real life wasn’t so demanding, i know those ocean waves aren’t gonna sail themselves, you’d be in the end! <3 <3 <3 <3“

Josh:

“what happened to our f2?”

Katie:

"Ms. Keisha, MS. KEISHA! Oh my f**king God, she f**king dead."

Logan:

“- If you were an animal, you would be a tiger because you're elegant, enigmatic, and unpredictable. - Your song: You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette”

[dorkiobeeto]

1-69 ;)

Yikes,, okayp: 1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? -Well yeah2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? -Single and always confused xo3: What if I told you that you were pretty? -I’d say you were wrong4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? -Aye5: Are you interested in anyone right now? -Maybe,, yes6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? -all that future sleep and future food I’m gonna eat7: Do you want to be single? -Yes but not really??8: Did you go out or stay in last night? -Stayed in apart from going out to get gingerbread 9: How late did you stay up last night? -Wicked late m810: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? -Yeah lmao right now11: Last three things you had to drink? -Water, tea, your mums piss12: Have you pretended to like someone? -No wtf13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? -NO WTF WHO DOES THAT THATS TERRIBLE14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? -I don’t think so? Idk15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? -Yes absolutely and I hate myself for it16: Think back five months ago, were you single? -Yeah lmfao17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? -It’s not even 12:30 but I can imagine I’ll still be lying on my bed instead of getting ready.18: Hold hands with anyone this week? -No 319: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? -Probably but that won’t happen anytime soon20: What would you name your future daughter? -Mayonnaise, ‘May’ for short21: Do you miss anyone? -Yeah I guess 22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? -Yeah lmao23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? -On a bed I think?24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? -Sometimes25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?-Nah26: Who did you last see in person? -Char lmao27: Are you listening to music right now? -Gorillaz fuck yeah28: What is something you currently want right now?-EGGS ON TOAST29: What is the last thing you said out lot?- What?30: How is your heart lately?- Pretty sad but rad @ the same time31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?- no bc I look like a fucked up elf if I do32: Are you wearing socks?- nah33: What do people call you?- Coonsoon, Dennis, Carson, son of car34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?- idk? maybe? if she messages me then yeah maybe??35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?- my existence is a stressful situation 36: Who did you last share a bed with?- lmao I think it was Dalila37: Did you do something bad today?- I have the whole day to do something bad and that makes me happy :))38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?- the other day lmao39: Do you get stressed out easily?- nah but yah40: Will you sing today?- oh yeah definitely 41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?- all the time bc I’m a piece of shit :^)42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?- shania or char lol love u guys xo43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?- not yet,,44: What are you listening to right now?- Candy Boy - Concorde 45: What is wrong with you right now?- my back aches like a binch46: What is on your wrists right now?- my cold skin47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?- RIPNDIP <33348: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?- hot apple cider is a thing? Hot choccy bruv49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?-no wtf50: Are you a good artist?- I mean I got a D in my art GCSE but I’d say I’m okay at drawing??51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? - love can be extremely beautiful when it’s between two healthy, caring people. Apart from that it’s the most terrifying thing on the planet.52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? -No. Not at all.53: Ever been on a golf cart?- yes54: Do you have trust issues?- depends what I’m trusting that person with55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?-yes, and I think it was shania?56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?- no57: Do you use chap stick?- I don’t but I probably should58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?- yeah lmfao59: Do you have a little sister?- thank fUCK I dont 60: Have you ever been to New York?- nope but I really want to go 61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?- They didn’t.62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?- yeah63: What were you doing at midnight last night?- probably eating gingerbread 64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?- yeah65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?- of course there is n she probably doesn’t know <33366: Were your last three kisses from the same person?- I think so67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?- nah68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?- unless cuddling is involved then alone69: Will next Friday be a good one?- I hope so???Silly anon, my thumbs fucking hurt now u jammy cunt xo

[flauntpage]

Blame It on the Rain: Ten Takeaways from Eagles 33, 49ers 10

They didn’t play a great game and still won by 23.

That says a lot about the best team in football, your Philadelphia Eagles.

It also says a lot about the San Francisco 49ers, a banged up, winless team starting a rookie quarterback in a 1 p.m. East Coast road game. They’re horrible and awful. They’re a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a football team.

Carson Wentz won’t put this one on the resume tape, nor will the offensive line, but this was the second-straight game where the Birds started slow and finished with a double-digit margin of victory. They did it in crappy weather and brought us to a point where Nick Foles was ending Week 8 in victory formation. No matter the situation, the Birds just find a way to get it done.

We’re waiting for the letdown that still hasn’t come.

1. Big V

He played fine.

Eagles Twitter was ready to pounce on his first mistake, and they rightfully pointed out the bad blocking on an early stretch play. But this run has been going nowhere all year long:

Brent Celek also got knocked backwards on the play. Stefen Wisniewski completely whiffed on his second-level block, though it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

Vaitai gave up a second quarter sack where Wentz probably could have tossed the ball sooner:

He later had a holding penalty on another stretch play, which should probably just be removed from the playbook at this point. Vaitai made some mistakes but didn’t look out of place on an offensive line that didn’t perform that well collectively.

  2. Linebackin’

I thought we might be in for a long afternoon when the linebackers showed some confusion and allowed a big gain on the second play of the game:

I don’t know if that’s Nigel Bradham or Joe Walker’s mistake. One of those guys is assigned to the running back, but both went with the tight end and neither was close enough to make a play.

With Jordan Hicks done for the season, the pass coverage of Walker, Bradham, and Najee Goode seemed like it would be a big topic in this one, but it really wasn’t. That’s because C.J. Beathard was being totally clobbered all game long and really didn’t even have time to get rid of the ball.

The Birds’ defensive line rag dolled the rookie QB, sacking him 4 times, hitting him 12 times, and ripping off a pick-6. They had 9 tackles for a loss overall.

Most impressive was their QB separation number, where four players were well under the league average. In the chart below, the number you see is the average distance each player was from Beathard at the time of his release or a teammate sack:

No surprise that Brandon Graham was getting close to him on every single pass rush.

  3. Getting Beat Hard

Even when Beathard wasn’t getting slapped around by the Eagles, he didn’t do anything to help himself. Twice in the first quarter he threw behind his receivers on convertible third down plays. Instead, the passes were bobbled and landed incomplete.

Later, he threw low and behind his target on another play, resulting in the ball popping up in the air for an Eagles interception.

Beathard finished 17 of 36 for 167 yards, 1 touchdown, 2 interceptions, and a QB rating of 46.9. On passes of 10 yards or more, he was 2/8 for 46 yards and an interception:

San Fran went 3/15 on third downs, only slightly worse than the Eagles’ 4/14 mark.

  4. The longer, the better

Jake Elliott missed two extra points, but hit field goals from 40 and 51 yards.

The first XP looked like a less-than-perfect hold from Donnie Jones, who was dealing with the wet grass. The second one might have been the same thing, where Jones appeared to get the ball up but left it with some tilt instead of a clean placement.

Elliott is 18/20 on extra points this season while nailing five field goals from 50+ yards. That doesn’t seem right but here we are:

Jake Elliott just broke a franchise record for season 50+ yard field goals AND missed two extra points in the same game. Wtf lol

— Dillon Atkinson (@DAtkinsonOU) October 29, 2017

It’s kind of like Dario Saric going 4-7 from three-point range on Saturday night but finishing 0-5 inside the arc.

Is Elliott farsighted? Is he far-footed?

  5. The Wentz and Hollins connection

On the second quarter touchdown drive, Wentz connected with Mack Hollins twice for gains of six and 24 yards. At that point, he was 8-8 for 164 yards when targeting the rookie wide receiver this season. All of Twitter clamored for more of Mack Hollins.

So Wentz tried him again in the third quarter, but had his pass picked off by Ahkello Witherspoon for a 19-yard return. San Francisco scored their only touchdown two plays after this:

First career INT for @ahhh_kello! #SFvsPHI http://pic.twitter.com/bIzI1iMKmu

— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) October 29, 2017

Wentz said this about the play:

“Mack and I were just not on the same page, plain and simple. That was a big play for their defense. It kind of put our defense in a hole there, but we just have to be on the same page.”

  6. This is what you’re here for

On the very next drive, Witherspoon followed up his first career interception by getting torched for a 53-yard touchdown pass.

It was Alshon Jeffery, the WR1 who Philadelphia signed in the offseason to make plays like this:

Very next drive, Alshon Moss'd Witherspoon. The rookie roller-coaster! http://pic.twitter.com/u4fwJEQ2R8

— Ian Wharton (@NFLFilmStudy) October 29, 2017

There was a play earlier in the game where Wentz missed Jeffery in the end zone. He only caught two of eight targets on the afternoon, though he did snag the two-point conversion that put the Eagles up 17-0 going into halftime.

Later, he played some defense on a Hail Mary attempt and combined with Rasul Douglas to bat the ball out of play.

  7. Perfecting punting

There was a point in the game where the Niners punted on 4th and 4 from the Eagles’ 38 yard line.

Say what?

Based on that head-scratcher of a decision, I went and looked up punting stats for football’s worst team:

I thought for sure that Brad Pinion would be higher in most categories, but he’s not. He’s tied for 7th in total punts and his long is in the bottom half of the league. What he does have is a ridiculous return yard average of 1.6. That’s insane. It means opponents have returned 15 of 36 total punt attempts for 24 yards. He’s dropped 17 punts inside the 20 and forced 13 fair catches.

Turns out San Fran does excel at something, so shout out to their special teams coordinator, Richard Hightower.

  8. Doug’s worst call?

There were some instances when Doug Pederson continued to run the ball on 2nd down in the first half of the game. The offense was stagnant to start for the second straight week.

I think Wendell Smallwood’s lack of usage was another question mark. He finished with one carry for five yards and caught a pass for a nine yard gain. Why not more of that? Wet conditions? Lingering injury issues?

I think his worst call in general was going back to the stretch play. This was the Vaitai holding call, but you can see that the entire offensive line does an underwhelming job here, Zach Ertz included:

9. Doug’s best call?

The two-point conversion at 15-0 was an obvious choice.

I think he unlocked the offense a little bit by going to the short passing game after the first couple of unsuccessful series. The pass/run balance winds up being around 60/40 when you take away those Corey Clement garbage time runs and the Nick Foles victory formations.

  10. “I communed with the Rock”

We almost made it to halftime without a Rocky Balboa reference, but Charles Davis just had to go there. I didn’t hear any corny mentions from Kenny Albert or any real mess ups in his calls. I thought both guys were pretty good.

The weirdest moment was when the broadcast cut to some FX show, then over to the Panthers/Bucs game before coming back to Philly. I don’t know if that’s a FOX 29 local control issue or a mothership thing, but I think we all did a double take there.

All in all, a sloppy performance in sloppy conditions, but another win for the Birds.

Blame it on the rain.

Blame It on the Rain: Ten Takeaways from Eagles 33, 49ers 10 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv