#and failing miserably

[deeokanee]

My thoughts on how John and Bob would handle their attraction for each other.

So John has never in his life even thought about being with a man. He has only dated one person in his whole life, and that person was a woman. He has been going through divorce and the guilt about his actions as Captain America, now he's trying to get a hold of his life while being in a team of superheroes and living in close proximity with all of them. Sure, they still bicker very often, but they're starting to mutually respect one another, to know and understand each other, and that feels less suffocating than the last years were. And when he thinks his worst days are behind him, when he's starting to get somewhat comfortable with himself again, that's when it hits him.

He's loosened up to Bob. He started to understand him, Bob no longer irritates him. He's even a pleasant presence to have around. Bob is kind, he has his own particular sense of humour that is not so bad, he can sit quietly in the same room as John and be a calming presence without even doing or saying anything, he can be a good shoulder to lean on when he needs a break, and despite being a guy and having thin lips and a strong jaw he is even oddly good looking and oh shit.

John tries to snap himself out of it, but it's too late, now these thoughts about Bob are in his head and they won't leave him alone.

I imagine John feeling like he's going mad, fighting his constant thoughts about Bob like they're physically hurting him. Spiraling because what will that mean for him? For his family, for his role, for the person he's tried to be all of his life, for the person he failed to be and is still failing to be. Being attracted to a man is another proof that he's not the perfect american man he thought he was, the one he had to be. And that man being Bob, the opposite of the male model John has idolised during the entirety of his life, is even more humiliating. He shouldn't want Bob, he can't want him. His heart can't skip a beat when Bob barely grazes his shoulder while going past him in the kitchen, he can't audibly gulp when he feels Bob's tight pressed against his because there's not enough room for all of them in Alexei's new limo's backseat, his breath can't get stuck in his throat when Bob finally stops one of John's punches during their sparring matches, making one of his vaguely fierce smiles as they don't break eye contact, while he's heavily breathing from the fatigue as his fingers are wrapped tight around John's fist.

Despite John not wanting this, not needing this new problem that's definitely too human in his life, his mind is plagued with thoughts about Bob. He can't help but wonder and imagine, and it's driving him so mad that he feels like smashing his own head against a wall to stop thinking about him. He probably even tries that at some point.

And while John is experiencing absolute dread, panic and despair, Bob is also crushing on John. And the funny thing is that, in comparison to how John's handling the whole thing, Bob is only mildly inconvenienced by the realisation that he's into John.

Not only because he's at peace with his sexual orientation (he's known he was gay from a very young age, he experienced homophobia in his own house and probably outside as well, but he's lived so many terrible situations that this part of himself is not the one he's ashamed of), but maybe because he has also had a couple of relationships in his life. Maybe they didn't last long, maybe they weren't healthy, maybe they ended poorly. So Bob is probably frustrated because of course, the first guy he is attracted to after getting clean and starting to live a somewhat stable life has to be some macho, straight, blonde guy. Very funny, thank you universe for that.

Bob is dealing with it with dignity, trying to accept that this is only just a harmless fantasy that he can indulge in a little until it goes away, because he's not getting his hopes up. After all, John doesn't like men and Bob knows that. Right?

[ignitefangs]

I did a few doodles over Twitter and would like to show them here because honestly- I liked them! Imma put them all in one post cuz it's easier that way (I apologize for the long post) This one shows off the designs for the ghouls that I have done (for now) I still plan on doing more but I found myself doodling these sillies more when I first got obsessed with Ghost.

+ This Mountain ghoul bonus doodle, it was more like an extra note about their form! This one is about the Ghoulettes, I still gotta come up with their designs but I have a few things in mind already

Sleepy Mountain doodle because I was very sleepy when I doodled it fjahhjf

Ifrit. My only way to describe this one is Terzo is better than me cuz I would've gone insane (He moves like a cartoon character, how can I not.)

I still plan on finishing the design too since I have something in mind but this is it for now! And the final doodle: Ghoul cuddle pile, but they fell asleep.

I apologize once again for the long post but hawjf just got too lazy to separate them all

[krekee]

[lijeuxs]

i'm trying my hardest to be normal about regulus

[justsaysomethingjayj]

Me just wanting to write my trash fic ideas

[laptopcius]

Denial is river in Egypt, I guess 🤷‍♀️

[fooltofancy]

ive genuinely had a lot of trouble placing ilya in the world of eorzea contextually - he exists in his space, but outside of that? his parents have context, sure, but he's only aware of any of it through conjecture. this is a guy dropped very literally into the middle of thousands of years of conflict without an inkling of understanding for it, like.

he doesn't even know why he's in thanalan outside of "born there," man.

[lurafita]

Mini shadowhunters stealth training

I just want young shadowhunters in training to test out their stealthiness by following the HOTI and the High Warlock around town.

Which the two are aware of the whole time, because the kids aren't that good yet. Leaving Magnus mostly bemused, and Alec grumbly. (Because 1: This is his "Magnus time" and it is not to be disturbed. And 2: Witnessing these kids bumble along while thinking of themselves as master spies is grating on his professional pride and he is going to upp the training for these little shits. Because Magnus' cooing as one of them almost falls into a fountain while trying to eaves drop on their conversation, is giving him the most inappropriate thoughts. And it's the middle of the day and they are being followed by a bunch of kids and he can't very well drag Magnus into the nearest alley and make out with him now, can he?)

[gregmarriage]

it’s so hard not knowing whether to leave the door open for ppl, should they want to stay in your life, or just completely giving up on them, as they seem intent on showing the opposite

[xserpx]

I need to stop taking TV recommendations from my eldest sister, good god.

[psalacanthea]

WiP Whenever

a little WIP because I've only been working on this and I like sharing my writing, lol. original work, sort of a post-apoc/cyberpunky thing. this bit is about hating your (biological but non-parenting for legal reasons [the therapist said holy shit her parenting will fuck up your child]) mom.

in this setting therapy is more common than actual doctors because of how severely fucked up everyone is from how their society is laid out. but therapists aren't used to make happy children, they're used to make functional children for the corporate machine. this translates to, in practical terms, BARELY functioning children! so I've been having fun playing with that idea, of everyone being severely screwed up but therapy-speaking their way through it. no reason. no real-world allegories. we're just having fun here haha.

“I thought we agreed physical violence was uncivilized, and that abusing power leads to moral decay.”

From behind Mitera, Adela rolled her eyes excessively, slinging her arms over the low back of the velvet couch. Yes, very helpful, Mother. The whole 'one parent did the parenting' relationship worked a lot better when the other parent wasn't constantly making silent commentary.

“When I stopped slapping people, the amount of overall bullying increased,” Merissa said in a dead, dull voice, scooping up the glass. She left the bar, grabbing her bottle of mango-lime tincture out of the machine on the way. “I'm performing controlled experiments for the greater societal good.”

“If it is outside of a laboratory environment, it isn't controlled,” Adela dismissed. Leaning forward, she ignored her wife's silent stare, arm slinging forward to snatch the martini glass from Merissa's fingers.

And sometimes the commentary was less silent.

Rather than rise to the provocation, Meri turned away and threw herself onto a ruby chaise, crossing her booted feet at the ankle, spike heel digging into the upholstery. Uncapping the bottle, she took a long swig. Tilting her chin up, she stared at the softly-glowing ceiling,following the stamped brass pattern of the tiles with a wandering gaze; a childhood habit.

She'd spent a lot of time in this room being criticized.

When Mother cleared her throat, Merissa beckoned without saying a word. There was no need for her participation. After all, Mother had this pointless haranguing all settled on her own, why should she add to it and make it longer?

Merissa had shit to do.

When neither of them broke the tense silence, Mitera inhaled slowly, shaking her head slightly with a furrowed brow. “The lack of scientific rigor isn't...” Trailing off, she closed her eyes, pursed her lips together, and then opened them again. Her gracefully lined forehead smoothed out, and Mitera smiled gently, eyes fluttering open. “Merissa, you know it makes your Mother irritated when you say untrue things to upset her.”

Mitera had decided to be on Mother's side today; how delightful.

Of fucking course. “Don't coddle the socially-inept dictator. She's being deliberately obtuse to pick a fight with me, and you are well aware of that.” Despite her struggle to stay cold and detatched as her, Merissa couldn't help the note of mocking bitterness in her voice. “Did you finally forge a parenting license, Adela? There's no way you'd pass the tests.”

“Merissa, don't escalate,” Mitera said disapprovingly. “She is not legally allowed to engage in parenting you, no, but she is still one of your biological mothers, and your mentor.”

“But she is not my legal parent.”

“Do you genuinely not understand that I own the bureau you're wielding against me like a weapon?” Adela asked, staring down her nose with an icily glowing gaze, voice dripping with condescension. “I assure you, if legality is all that's stopping you, that can be rectified.”

“Adela,” Mitera said quietly.

They looked at each other, and just for a second it was like Merissa could see their silent argument being transmitted like lines of code, spoken in subtle gestures, stares, and facial expressions on Mitera's part. After catching a rather disapproving frown, Meri knew while she'd never say it in this room, Amma was pissed. Good.

Mother had been drowning her lately, it'd be nice to have backup, even backup as flimsy as this.

“I simply don't agree,” Mother finally said, with a hint of sullen irritation that didn't touch her face. “I have not been shown sufficient progress to offset the public petulance and continued attachment to that boy.”

“And I simply don't give a craterous fuck. Amma said I could leave for off-shift if I finished your banal, puerile tests, and I did. Stop trying to ruin my fun because you're jealous of me and have no soul!”

Adela scoffed, leaning back in her seat with her faintly-glowing silver eyes narrowing. “I should have been party to the negotiations. I'm not satisfied.”

If Amma was even a little on her side, Meri needed to use it and push now, otherwise she'd be stuck here. Giving Adela Medina an inch meant she'd take the kilometer and charge you for the whole length. But threats didn't work; to her those were challenges.

“I don't care. Your authority does not supersede Mitera's, and if you force her to reconsider her choice, you're going to damage your relationship with me, and her. Possibly even your relationship with her, considering your history. Do you want to do that? Damage our relationships and my mental health?”

Pinned under the weight of Adela's cold artificial eyes, Meri began to feel a bit squirmy in the stomach, the old murdered feelings of childhood scrabbling to escape the grave. But no. She wouldn't let Mother do that to her any more. Merissa lifted her chin and stared back, adopting the same detatched, appraising stare.

Deliberately, she took another sip from the bottle, wishing the pharma would kick in and keep her calm. Trying to read Mother did nothing, she didn't have enough emotion for anything so crass as facial expressions, so Meri didn't bother. She just waited sixty seconds to pretend she was letting her ruminate. That was long enough. Merissa knew Mother had already decided, she was just trying to make her squirm. “Well?”

“Manipulative. Finally, a well-constructed argument. Very well. Just stay away from-”

“No, I am not staying away from Desmond. He's going to apologize, he always does. You know what therapists say about breaking up our social groups.” And what people would say about her for doing it. Not good. But that threat didn't need to be said out loud, because they all knew it.

Adela closed her eyes. “Zenia.”

[glowing-and-confused]

They are doing penis experiments on demos now

(video by user Active-Yam7825)

[moltengoldveins]

hi yes someone give me a cold execution plz I have committed the Ultimate Sin (trying to draw irl persons face while faceblind)

[oldtvandcomics]

Carmilla and Laura really are the OG "come run away with me whatever could go wrong" couple aren't they.

[cookie-de-baunilha]

unknown / nth by hozier is so john/percy coded it’s insane

[sammyloomis]

i genuinely dont give 2 shits abt the royal family, if anything i actively despise them, but this whole kate thing is truly hilarious and i hope i see the whole establishment crumble to dust within my lifetime <3