#and for single-handedly turning the blog i made for fandom back into a fandom blog

[afantasyoffiction]

do you have a favorite supernatural character/who are your top five 🧍🏻‍♀️ (i love spn so much and i am currently so deeply in the trenches of obsession but i do not know how to make conversation 🥲)

first spn post of the blog!!! it’s a canon event i fear

this is such a hard question bc like. dean is the main character to me and it’s all abt him and i want only good things for him and i could study his brain on a pétri dish and he’s just one of The Most characters of all time. like that’s Dean Winchester. no one is doing it like him

but Cas is just. 🥰🥰🥰. ✨✨✨. 🤯🤯🤯. Castiel is conceptually one of the coolest characters ever written and it’s a damn shame his actual writers didn’t notice

Other than The Destiel ship, it’s gotta be Charlie, because duh she’s AMAZING…., closely followed by Rowena because she’s a very cool character. Like these two are opposites because I love Charlie and hate Rowena but Rowena is just constantly interesting to me and one of the best plot devices they ever made

ultimately my views on characters is so altered by fanfic but like. I have basic taste but i could talk for hours abt these guys. ngl it’s been a while since i went here but that was years of my life just psychoanalysing these guys so….safe to say i have so many thoughts

[jaskiersvalley]

Hey, I just went through your entire blog in two days only and I wanna say, your writing is astounding! I haven't had a chance to watch the show yet as I can't afford Netflix right now, but you're fics were a truly fine introduction to the fandom Much love and keep being awesome! ~M

It’s you!!! I watched you blast through my blog with likes and reblogs and was absolutely in awe of you. Thank you so much for being such an avid reader and supporter. You single-handedly made me smile so much. And because words of thanks never feel like enough, I give the only thing I can, a ficlet of gratitude!

Education at Kaer Morhen involved a lot of things. Different weapons, physical fitness, hunting, foraging, identifying poisons by scent, even sewing to mend clothes. However, there were a lot of things it didn’t involve. Things that a witcher couldn’t possibly need. Music was definitely one of those things, Jaskier mused because Geralt obviously had zero appreciation of the art. But other things too which were less about being cultured and more about basic skills.

There were moments where Jaskier suspected things but didn’t want to believe them, Put them down to Geralt being Geralt. He obviously preferred information first hand, always seeking out the alderman or asking locals where to find the poster of the contract. Sometimes Jaskier just watched Geralt in front of a board like it was the world’s greatest word search. At times, he’d skip over a contract and Jaskier couldn’t figure out why. But pointing it out usually had Geralt frowning at the piece of parchment and huff out something about it not striking his fancy (as if witchers could ever pick and choose amongst contracts) or it not being valuable enough (as if that had ever stopped Geralt before - the man seemed to thrive on helping the poor). A pattern emerged after a while though and Jaskier didn’t want to think about the implications. The contracts Geralt skipped over didn’t contain the words ‘contract’, ‘monster’, or ‘witcher’. Which led to some alarming implications.

It wasn’t something Jaskier could delicately raise, lead Geralt to realising he knew and wanted to help. Also, Jaskier couldn’t very well corner the man and accuse him of being unable to read. Because if he was wrong, Geralt’s allegedly nonexistent emotions would be very hurt. So, Jaskier did the simplest thing he could. Whenever Geralt went to look at a village noticeboard, he tagged along and pointed at random papers, reading them out loud. Once or twice he fudged up words but Geralt never seemed to realise that the advert Jaskier was pointing at was for a laundry service rather than for a tailoring service he was describing.

“Why are you pointing out such useless adverts?” Geralt snapped.

“Just thought you’d be interested.” Jaskier shrugged and plucked the contract Geralt was looking for from the board. “Here. This is the one you want.” It didn’t have any of the key words Geralt tended to look for. There was no thanks thrown his way and Geralt stomped off, the parchment clutched in a tighter grip than usual.

It went on like that, each time Jaskier got more and more certain he was right, Geralt couldn’t read.

“What do you think of this one?” Jaskier plucked a random advert and pushed it into Geralt’s hand who stared at it with contempt. It was advertising a littler of puppies from a good guard dog lineage.

“What about it?” Vague, carefully eyeing the advert but not acknowledging any of it. Jaskier’s heart broke a little. Given how often he had shoved the necessary contract into Geralt’s hand, it was obvious Geralt was trying to figure out whether it was a contract or not. The price in the corner suggested it wasn’t but the poor couldn’t always pay in coin. Sometimes other goods or services were written down which he would negotiate verbally.

“You’re not tempted?” It was cruel but Jaskier had enough of the song and dance.

“For so little?” Geralt scoffed, hedging his bets on Jaskier not screwing him over by putting something other than a contract in his hands all of a sudden.

Ever so gently, Jaskier took the advert and pinned it back up to try and hide the sound of his heart breaking. “You’re right. I don’t think there’s much for us in the village. Come on.”

They turned away but Jaskier saw Geralt turn back, a small frown on his face as he looked at the advert Jaskier had put back, clearly not understanding. Returning to their room at the inn, Jaskier knew he had to end the farce. He pulled a book from his bag and passed it to Geralt who stared at it, more disgusted by it than any kind of head or guts he’s waded through on a hunt.

“What’s this?”

“A book.”

“I know that. But why are you handing it to me?” Geralt set it to the side, not even glancing at it.

“Given we’ve got a bit of downtime, you’ve tended to your swords last night, I thought you might fancy a bit of a change. Does the title not intrigue you?”

A gruff “no” had Jaskier’s eyebrow raising as he sat down on the bed with a small smile. “You mean, a monster compendium is not something of interest?” He had picked it up a little while ago, intent on learning more about Geralt’s potential enemies, even if the book didn’t have all the facts correct, it was a good starting place. “Or maybe you’d want to go through it with me and correct the mistakes?”

Watching Geralt try and find a way out of it was painful. He frowned, frowned harder and ended up growling in his throat, turning away from the book with a moody “no”.

“I could teach you,” Jaskier offered quietly. “If you’d like to read.”

Silence stretched and Geralt’s back was stiff obviously coiled tight and ready to either fight or flee. “Since when has a witcher ever read a monster to death?” That sounded far too much like something Geralt had learned from someone else and all Jaskier could think of was a young Geralt being denied the chance to learn to read over and over again with such cruel and mocking words. However, it wasn’t a no.

Moving quietly, Jaskier grabbed the book and settled on the bed with enough room next to him for Geralt to join if he so wished. Cracking the book open, he began to read out loud. It took a minute but Geralt eventually joined him, looking angry and disinterested but Jaskier knew better. He was scared, terrified even, of being mocked, of being found wanting. Not breaking his reading, Jaskier adjusted his grip on the book so he could pull his finger under the words as he read them, letting Geralt follow.

They spent a few days like that, Jaskier reading aloud and Geralt watching, listening to how the words sounded compared to how they looked. Jaskier even picked up a few other books, much simpler, suited for children really. He swapped out to one of those books as they sat in a clearing in a forest, away from everyone and everything. Shoulder to shoulder, Jaskier got Geralt to haltingly grit out the sentence “the cat lost his hat”. It was perhaps the proudest Jaskier had ever been and the small, satisfied look on Geralt’s face was worth it.

Months down the line, when Geralt was able to sit next to Jaskier and read aloud from the book of monsters and laugh together about the inaccuracies, there was a soft lull. In fact, Geralt looked nervous as he pushed to book into Jaskier’s hands.

“I’ve got something for you.” Eager, Jaskier sat up, smile wide. He was expecting a kiss, maybe some oil for his lute or, if Geralt was feeling especially romantic, some jewellery. “It’s something I’ve been working on in secret.”

Reaching into his pack, Geralt pulled out a bit of parchment folded in half. On the front of it was a crudely drawn heart, obviously done by someone who wasn’t artistically inclined. It was shoved gruffly into Jaskier’s hands and he opened up what was a handmade card.

To Jaskier,

Thahk Thank yuo.

I lov yuo.

Geratt Geralt.

It was, without a doubt, the most precious thing Jaskier had ever been gifted, spelling mistakes and all. Because while he had gotten Geralt reading, it never even occurred to him that writing would be another skill to teach. All the education at Oxenfurt was something Jaskier had taken for granted until now. With Geralt by his side, he realised it was a gift, one that he was delighted to share with his beloved.

[aheartfullofjolllly]

Hey!! I know this is a fandom blog ( and I love your content), not a med one but I was wondering if you could share how you remember all the stuff from past years ? Do you have any tips or use any apps etc ? I’m starting my second year soon…Also any other general tips esp about note keeping. I have been trying different ones to see which works… thank you! Feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna answer for whatever reason!

Hellooo and thank you! This is very much a personal blog as much as a fandom blog so questions like this is always welcome 💖 

Admittedly, I’m not the best at memorising things long-term 🙈 Short-term memory for exams? No problem. Then it’s like, all the nitty gritty details I just studied vanish without a trace right after hahahaha. (1/2 joke omg) 

This turned out to be quite long (sorry) so there’s a summary at the end hahaha. Also, just a disclaimer: my experience and programme may be different from yours but hopefully the general tips help you! 

That thing that helps me the most is application of knowledge. So how we are trained is the first three years of med school is 90% theory with some patient encounters in our 2nd and 3rd year (but not a lot). Then 4th year is clerkship where we should be in hospital doing all the practical work (which I’m missing out on right now because of the pandemic 💔). But our curriculum is also grounded on a lot of case discussions so we are given patient scenarios and we have to go through the history, physical exam, differential diagnoses, ancillaries, and management of the patient every time. That helps me a lot because I would have patients in mind for certain diseases and it helps me integrate the theoretical knowledge. We do this a lot so repetition is another thing that makes information stick better. 

Note taking! So, personally, I prefer the physical act of writing down notes because I tend to focus more and remember better. I use an iPad now for all my notes so I follow lectures or discussions while annotating powerpoint presentations or previous transes. It’s honestly the best investment I made for med school. But I didn’t always have an iPad and in my first two years, I printed out notes from older med students that were nice enough to share theirs hahaha. The note taking app I use is GOODNOTES (I’ve watched so many youtube videos comparing GN and notability and decided for this one in the end; no regrets). 

Another thing I do is watch a lot of (youtube) videos! Because I am a visual learner, I would watch something on the topic first before I read my notes/books so it’s easier for me to imagine and integrate concepts. You may already know them but my favourites are: 

Osmosis 

Sketchy Med (my friend just gave me downloads of this so I don’t have a link sorry 😓) 

Ninja Nerd 

Medicosis Perfectionalis (single handedly helped me through hematology!!!) 

Dirty Medicine 

Armando Hasudungan 

Registered Nurse RN 

Other apps/websites I use for references are: Medscape (free), UpToDate (subscription), and Amboss (subscription)

I also do a lot of sample exams. So I try to answer and rationalise the old exams/quizzes of the previous batches because 1) I get to test myself with how much I learned from my revisions and 2) it helps me see how the questions are asked so I know where to focus when I go back on my notes. My friends and I would also quiz each other and bridge gaps in what we don’t know. 

And finally, you are going on your second year congraaaats. 💫  Ngl, I struggled during my first year cos it was a loooooooot of theory. Slugged through it by pure memorisation. It helped that my pre-med exposed me to the medical field already but it was still tough. Second year was so much better for me cos that’s when I started feeling like I was actually studying medicine as opposed to like a very advanced science course hahaha. I think you’ll start to really appreciate it and remember better when you start talking about cases than just concepts??? 

SO BECAUSE THIS WAS SO LONG, LEMME GIVE YOU A SUMMARY HAHA

Try applying what you’ve learned to real life case scenarios if you can; you know someone who has hypertension or diabetes? Look at the medications they’re taking, what clinical manifestations they have, maybe look at their labs if they let you... it’ll be easier when you have people in mind vs just book knowledge 

Repetition. It’s just a lot of reading and re-reading and re-reading until it becomes ingrained in your brain and you can recite it even when you’re half dead from sleep deprivation. 

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes!!! Shoot your shot! Participate in recitations and discussions! Mistakes made in front of my professors and peers has been decidedly mortifying but quite a learning experience because I tend to remember the corrections more (alongside the embarrassment hahahaha). And it’s better to make mistakes in med school than in the hospital. 

Take physical notes. It’s just better. Hahahaha. Doesn’t matter if it’s on paper or a tablet, as long as you’re writing things down yourself.

Watch videos to help you remember better! 

Do practice exams to test yourself and see what you need to review on more; study with a friend if you can (even virtual) and try to quiz each other. 

I think that’s it??? Congrats again and I wish you the best of luck. You can do it, dear Nonny. If you have any more questions or just want to rant about med school woes, my ask box is always open 💕💕💕

[elenatria]

What's JBO? 🤔 i have completely detached myself from the Got fandom because, gosh, it's so toxic and full of fuckboys and entitled people so im a bit uninformed about the craziness.

JBO is the Board That Shall Not Be Named (because who wants to advertise a nest of wasps, right?) where once upon a time creative and peaceful Jaime x Brienne shippers would ship their pairing without fuss until Queen Wasp took over (aka Icky) and turned it into a cesspool of toxicity. Not single handedly of course, she had her many minions  ready to create fake accounts and harass writers on Ao3 to the point that those writers left the fandom. And I’m talking about  JB writers here, the talented writers they envied, the ones whose JB headcanons they didn’t like.

Sadly it’s not just fuckboys ruining a fandom, there are people so incredibly entitled that they’ll shit on tags of characters they hate (Cersei, Tormund) or tags of rival pairings (Briemund, Cersei x Jaime). That’s how I got to know about them, I would go to the Tormund tag back in 2016 to find Tormund/Briemund hate on a daily basis. Lesson learned: never visit the tags. Any tag. Follow those few blogs that will give you content and that’s that. 

Whoever dared raise a voice of opposition, or just state a different opinion (e.g. “Jaime is not perfect for Brienne”) would get incredible amounts of anon hate. Those people would tell anorexic girls (who had made “controversial” posts about Jaime/Brienne) that they still looked fat. They’d harass Briemund writers on Ao3 telling them “I liked your writing so far and I love Tormund but your fic made me hate him because you’re petty and you dared post a Briemund fic during our JB week.” Yeah, passive aggressiveness and playground insults.

I could go on and on. They went to incredible lengths to harass and discourage people from posting different JB opinions or Briemund/Jaime x Cersei fics. They spread lies. Their Queen Wasp turned the members of the board against each other if one of them dared say something she didn’t like. They’d police the JB tag both on tumblr and Ao3 and report any fic they thought was breaking the rules. 

Some of them even claimed they knew G.R.R. Martin in person. They said they worked for him and they already knew that A Song of Ice and Fire gave Jaime and Brienne a happy ending (and “ten babies” as Nikolaj Coster-Waldau liked to joke).

I mean, can you?...

Until their ship sank  in s08e05 where Jaime left Brienne to die with Cersei. Now, for some reason, they keep defending a tag that’s basically running on fumes and, if I can judge by their recent visit, it’s so inactive that they have nothing better to do than whine about any post that includes both Jaime and Tormund (a post that one needed to “Expand” even to get to see Tormund’s face). It’s not like anyone pushed their finger to click on the “Expand” button.

But see, whining is all they’re good at. What can you do.

[freerebelmentality]

Bohemian Rhapsody

AN: Well I thought I would write something and finally get things done for this blog. I hope you all will enjoy this, I combined some Bohemian Rhapsody with Supernatural because its two fandoms that I love. So enjoy my loves

***************************************************

Word Count: 3,764

You and Sam get back from a hunt. Dean and Mom stayed behind at the bunker and basically cleaned the place.

Mom did most of the organizing while Dean helped with the heavy lifting, well most of the time he tried to get out of Spring clean up but Mom never fell for it.

As Sam drives through town, you see the movie list that has been released and see the movie you have been wanting to see ever since you read about it online.

“Hey Sam?” you ask while never taking your eye off the movie ad well until it disappears from your sight anyway.

“Yeah, whats up?” Sam asks looking to you while he makes the turn for the bunker

“How do you think Mom will like if I took her to a movie?” you ask shyly

You didnt know why you had to ask Sam first or even act all shy about it.

Mary was your mom, just as much as she is Sam and Dean’s Mom.

You were still trying to get used of her being around more.

Dean and Sam already got used of her. Well you thought so anyway.

“I think that would be great if you took her. I mean spend some Mother, Daughter time. Something me or Dean couldnt do for you while growing up” he replies while parking the car by the door of the bunker.

He looks to you with a sincere smile.

“Something that doesnt involve hunting” you sum up while getting out of the car and gathering you things.

“Exactly. You need some normalcy in your life and this could be one of them” he replies while opening the door and entering

“What is exactly normal Sam?” you ask with a smile on your face as the both of you walk down the spiral stairs.

“You two are home early” Mom greets you both

Sam goes in for a hug

Your turn next

“It was easy” you simply reply with a smile on your face

“Looks like you and Dean have been busy” Sam says while looking around the library

“I’ve been keeping him busy, hes been making excuses not to get this place organized” Mom replies while sitting down at the table

You go down the hall and into your room to put your things by the door and on your bed. You thought you would clean up your things later.

“Hey baby girl, home so soon” Dean says as he comes out of his room and gives you a hug

“Hey big bro. Hiding from Mom?” you ask while pulling away from his embrace

“I wasnt hiding. I was just putting something back into my room” Dean replies while making excuses to hide from Mom

“Right” you reply with a smirk on your face

You and Dean walk into the kitchen where you hear Sam and Mom talking about the case.

“it was y/n who figured out the whole entire thing and knew how to kill it why we are home so early” Sam says while looking to you all proud. Mom has the same expression on her face as well

“Well way to go baby girl” Mom says while giving you a side hug

“How about I make you your favourite tonight. I’ll get Dean to pick up a few things from the store” Mom says with a smile on her face

“Alright give me a list and I’ll head out with Sam” he replies while Sam glares at him for volunteering him to tag along for the grocery run

“Actually yeah I will tag along for the grocery run because I need to pick up a few things as well” Sam says while looking to you.

He thought he would give you that chance to talk to Mom and ask her about the movie you want to take her out to.

As soon as they are both gone. Its you and Mom left in the kitchen.

Complete silence, until you remembered the movie.

Queen’s Love Of My Life came on the radio and Mom hummed to the song as she moved around the kitchen to gather the ingredients she does have.

“Hey Mom, I was wondering if you would want to watch a movie with me?” you ask while twiddling with your thumbs sitting at the table

“Sure sweetie. What were you thinking of watching?” she asks as she bring her ingredients in a bowl to the table

“Uh Im going to leave that as a surprise. I’ll buy the tickets now” you tell her while smiling to her

She returns the warm smile as well

“Alright in the mean time Im going to mix this all up” she says as he begins mixing her ingredients

While Dean and Sam are at the grocery store, Dean looks to the list of things Mom wrote down for him and goes from aisle to aisle to gather everything.

“Did y/n really single handedly solve the entire case and kill the monster?” Dean asks while looking to Sam

“Yeah she did and it was like as if she killed the thing before” Sam replies while placing more items into the cart

“It was more like on accident” Dean replies while pushing the cart to the cashiers till

“What do you mean?” Sam asks all confused

“Well when she was fifteen I left her alone by the car and the thing came after her. She knew what to do and killed the thing by herself” Dean remembers like it was just yesterday you had your first kill.

You did it with ease though, not showing any fear what so ever and felt proud of your first kill

“Wow, she is fearless” Sam says while placing the items on the conveyor belt for the cashier to scan

“That she is. I’ve never been so proud” Dean says with a smile on his face

“Mom is pretty proud of her too” Sam says with a smile on his face

“Why wouldnt she, y/n is the exact replica of Mom and shes fearless” Dean says while giving the money to the cashier for the food

“Speaking of Mom, y/n asked if Mom would be alright with going to a movie with her and I told her she should just ask and spend some Mother, Daughter time with her. Something we couldnt do while y/n was growing up” Sam says while taking the bags and placing them in the cart

“What movie is she thinking of taking her to?” Dean asks helping Sam placing the rest of the bags into the cart and pushes it out of the store

“I dont know she didnt say” Sam replies while getting the trunk open

“Thats true though, she never got to experience that Mother, Daughter time and think she should get to experience that” Dean agrees with Sam

Dean remembers all the talks he had with you, some were awkward and others were just a learning experience for him and he thought he raised you pretty good.

“Lets go home and wait for Mom’s cooking” Dean says while putting baby on drive

“See if y/n asked Mom about the movie and see what they are going to see” Sam says while looking to the road

“You didnt see which movie she was looking at?” Dean asks while driving slowly by the movie theatre

“No but I am guessing its Bohemian Rhapsody” Sam looks to the movie posters that are posted outside the theatre

“The movie about Queen. I always wanted to see that movie” Dean says while pressing the gas and going back to the bunker

“Mom is definitely going to love that movie” Sam says while looking to Dean

“Of course she will. I remember Mom playing their records over the record player and it was always either Love Of My Life or You’re My Best Friend” Dean says while remembering back to his younger days of Mom playing music.

“I remember that too. I’d always hear Bohemian Rhapsody every and then. Or even Killer Queen” Sam says with a smile on his face

They get to the bunker and park in the garage.

Dean stops the engine and gets out of the car

Sam does the same and gets the groceries that were placed in the back seat.

While Dean gets the ones from the trunk and head into the kitchen

“I remember your dad sneaking us into a Queen concert. He was suppose to get tickets for us for my birthday but they were sold out” Mom smiles at the memory while you play some of their music through your spotify playlist.

“Their concerts were amazing. They always put on the best shows” Mom says with a smile on her face as she takes her hand to her chest.

You see she is tearing up at the memories and understood why

You hear Dean and Sam walking down the hall and into the kitchen

“Freddie Mercury was just amazing on stage and off. Your dad was always amazing at getting us into the shows” she says while looking to you.

You couldnt help but get teary eyed as well. You feel as though you were robbed of great concerts, a great artist.

Most of all, you were robbed of your Father. How you missed him dearly.

“Whats with the tears?” Dean asks looking between you and Mom

He places the groceries on the table and begins putting them away.

Sam does the same while looking between the both of you as well

“I was just telling y/n about the times your Father took us to Queen concerts and how amazing they were. How amazing Freddie was” she says while wiping the tears away

“I would have given you their concert t-shirts but it was burned in the house fire” Mom says while looking to you

You would have loved one of her shirts from their live shows

“Y/n play Tie Your Mother Down” Dean says while looking to you

You do as your told and begin getting the movie tickets for the Bohemian Rhapsody movie.

“This song” Mom tsk’s as the song plays

Its as though she is replaying the concert in her head with Dad at her side. She smiles to Dean and Sam

Dean plays the air guitar to Brian May’s guitar riffs

Sam sings out the chorus but he has nothing on Freddie

Mom joins in as she dances. She moves like Disco Deaky

You sit back and enjoy their dancing, singing and air guitar playing.

You bang on the table to the drums of Roger Taylor

“Thats the way baby girl” Dean says winking to you

When dinner is finally made and Mom did amazing at cooking your favourite meal.

You couldnt wait for the next day for the movie. Heck you were really excited

Dean cleaned the kitchen when everyone was done eating. Sam helped with drying the dishes.

Mom went to shower and head to bed

You went to your room and cleaned up a bit while putting stuff away.

Finally you went to bed as well.

**

Mom is the one who wakes early, she goes to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Sam is the one who wakes next

“Do you ever sleep in?” Mom asks looking to Sam as he enters the kitchen

Sam chuckles at the question and waits for the coffee to be done

“I dont understand that reference” Sam retorts as he smiles and thinks of Castiel

“So do you have any idea which movie y/n wants to see?” Mom asks while she gets herself a cup of coffee

“No I dont. She didnt tell me which movie. She just said she would like to take you to a movie” Sam replies while doing the same

“Im excited either way. I mean I never had any chance to spend time with her. Only when” Mom cuts herself off as she remembers the final moments she had with you

“But you’re back now and make up lost time. I know we are always out on hunts and you can finally have these moments with her. She is amazing just like you mom” Sam says to her.

“Does she still like chocolate cake?” Mom asks looking to Sam

“Yeah she does but Dean topped it off with chocolate chips and baked it. So every birthday he would make chocolate chip cake for her” he replies while looking to Mom with a smile

“But still using grandma’s cake recipe?” She asks in hopes its the same

“Still using the same recipe” he replies with a smile

You wake up to the smell of coffee that brought a smile to your face

You get up from bed and put on a hoodie as you walked out of your room, down the hall and into the kitchen

“Morning y/n” Mom greets you from the coffee machine

“Morning y/n” Sam greets you next

“Morning guys” you reply with a smile on your face

“Dean not up yet?” Mom asks looking to you

“No, I didnt see him come out of his room” you reply getting yourself a cup of coffee

Finally Dean awakes from his sleep, the four of you assist other hunters with their cases in doing research.

The other hunters were successful with their hunts and killing the monsters. All successful with Dean, Sam, Mom and your help.

“Oh geez the movie starts in an hour. Mom we got to get ready” you say while looking to the time

“Oh right, I will take a quick shower and get ready quickly” Mom says while rushing to the washroom and getting ready for the movie.

“I didnt realize all this researching would take most of the day” Dean says while putting the books away

“Dean I think thats the most reading you did for most of your life” you reply while going down the hall and into your room for a shower as well

“Shut up” Dean says while glaring at you as you walk away from the library

Sam is laughing while Dean glares at him as well.

Finally the day has come for movie night with your mom and you were excited for this. Not only spending time with your mom but would get the chance to watch Queen’s biopic Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Y/n Im ready” Mom says knocking on your door

You brush your hair for the final time and walk out of your room.

“Alright I am ready” you say while following Mom into the kitchen where Dean and Sam are

“We are off now. Are you going to tell me which movie we are seeing now?” Mom says to your brothers while asking you what the surprise is.

“No, not until we get to the movie” you reply with a mischievous smile on your face

“Just really knows how to keep the suspense going this kid” Mom says while walking out of the kitchen with you.

“Have fun you two and let me know which movie you see. So I can go watch it” Sam says while waving the both of you off from the garage

Dean follows along as well and does the same. He is proud you have asked Mom to head out with you.

You park across from the movie theatre while Mom gets out and you do the same.

Thats when she sees the movie poster for Bohemian Rhapsody

“Y/n is that the movie we are going to see” she asks with tears in her eyes

You nod you head with a smile on your face and couldnt wipe it away

“Thank you” she says as she gives you a hug

“Not a problem Mom, I wanted to do something for you that involved your favourite band and just to spend some time with you” you tell her while giving the worker your tickets

“Alright lets sing some Radio Gaga” she says and enters the theatre

As the movie begins to play and the echoes of Freddie’s voice plays in the background. It gave the both of you goose bumps.

The opening credits to the movie begins as Somebody To Love begins playing.

“Its twelve noon in London. Seven am in Philadelphia, its time for Live Aid”

You look to your Mom and see she has tears in her eyes. You pull out the tissues from your pocket and hand them to her.

She takes a few and thanks you for them

The both of you swaying back and forth to the song. You see Mom lip syncing to the lyrics of Somebody To Love.

The scene to Live Aid is what opens the movie and Mom gets goosebumps once more. She remembers watching Live Aid on TV.

When the movie gets to rockfield farm where three members of Queen are in the kitchen making breakfast, talking about Roger’s song Im in love with my car. Well more like arguing about it.

Mom laughs when Roger throws the food at Brian and John cause he is getting annoyed with them talking about his song. Finally he is about to throw the coffee maker but is stopped from doing so.

“I wonder if they replaced that with Roger locking himself in the cupboard when they didnt want to add his song on the B side” Mom leans over and whispers into your ear.

You laughed way too hard at that

“I would think so but would have been nice if they added that in the movie” you lean over and whisper into her ear as well.

The both of you share a laugh.

When the movie gets to the scene of Live Aid, Mom begins to tear up once more and places her hand on her chest.

As Radio Gaga begins to play is when a wide smile spreads on Moms face and she wipes away more tears.

During the chorus of the song is when Mom begins to raise her arms as well just like the whole theatre did for the song and clapped.

Everyone begins to break out singing as well.

You sang and raised your arms as you clapped as well. You werent part of the concert but felt good to sing out the song. You wiped away tears as well.

When the song ended is when Hammer to Fall began to play is when Mom looked at you with a wide smile

“This was your fathers favourite song” She leans in near your ear to tell you.

You tear up more as she tells you that. You wipe away the tears and continue watching the movie.

Finally when the movie is over is when the both of you are in tears once more as the credits roll.

You are about to get up from the seat but Mom doesnt get up. She sits there enjoying the music from her teen years.

She mouths to the lyrics of Dont Stop Me Now and you do the same as well.

“That was so good” Mom says walking out of the theatre

“It was and I am glad you liked it” you say while unlocking the car

“Liked it? I loved it. Even though it wasnt in order but I still loved the movie. Oh and those boys looked so much like the members of Queen” Mom says trying hard not to sob

You can tell she loved the band oh so dearly, how she talked about the band and chose the words oh so delicately when talking about Freddie Mercury.

“When Joe Mazzello who played John Deacon danced to Bohemian Rhapsody and thats exactly how Deaky danced” Mom says with pure excitement and is completely astonished at the same time.

“Y/n I thank and love you for taking me to see this movie” Mom says placing her hand over yours and giving a gentle squeeze.

“Not a problem Mom and I love you too” you tell her while placing a kiss to her hand

“It was uncanny how each actor looked like the members from the band” you add while driving back to the bunker

“Especially Mazzello who looked exactly like John Deacon. I wonder if his mom had one night with Deaky and got pregnant with Joe” she begins to make assumptions

You begin laughing while you pull into the bunkers garage

“Are you sure dad is my dad?” you ask while looking to Mom

“No, your Father is John Deacon actually, its just he doesnt know yet and your dad left me alone for a while so I went sneaking back stage” Mom says with a smile on her as the both of you enter the bunkers hallway.

Dean and Sam sit in the kitchen eating pizza Dean ordered.

They look to each other with smiles on their faces as they hear the both of you laughing.

“That movie is a definite master piece just as much as the night at the opera is” Mom says as the both of you enter the kitchen

“So ladies how was the movie?” Dean asks looking from his pizza

“Whats so funny?” Sam asks finishing his pizza

“We were just talking about the movie and among other things” you reply while getting yourself a slice of pizza

“I was just questioning if one of the actors playing John Deacon is his son and I told y/n that John Deacon is her biological father” Mom says while getting herself a slice of pizza as well

“Oh so you did take her to see Bohemian Rhapsody” Dean says with a smile on his face

“So the movie was good?” Sam asks while laughing at his sister and Mom

“Yes it was really good. Its not in complete order but its still a great movie” Mom replies while sitting next to Sam

You sit next to Dean while nodding your head

“So John Deacon is y/n’s biological father? I knew it this whole time” Dean jokingly says while looking to you.

You nudge him as you giggle

“Sam we should go watch the movie” Dean looks to Sam in hopes he will go with him

“I wouldnt mind watching it again” Mom says grabbing another slice of pizza

“I totally wouldnt mind watching the movie again” you say as well looking to your family.

When it was agreed to watch the movie as a family is when you got more excited because you wanted to see how Dean and Sam would react to the movie.

Mother, daughter time was a definite success and happy you got to take her to see Bohemian Rhapsody.

[vincula-flammae]

 This by no means reflects the thoughts of others in the fandom, this is my own personal opinion based on thoughts, observations and head canons gleaned from information and evidence presented through the various games.

Axel. Had. No. Redemption Arc.

This it is a big part of his character and I will say, while I will explain why he does what he does or my opinion of it, I will not excuse it. I will not make light of it. I am not trying to sway you into forgiving him or to feel any sympathy for him. You are not obligated to.  Nor is your character required to forgive him.

Now without further ado:

Axel faded at the end of KH2 after he defended Sora in the Betwixt and Between, this seemed to be a turning point for him, a good deed that he faded for preforming, but lets rewind for a moment.

This is also the person who single handedly orchestrated the murder of an entire castle of people (Castle Oblivion crew in Re:Com), the same individual who was willing to lie to and ultimately murder the kid he considered his best friend (Roxas) you might say that this is one bad dude.

I'd agree. He is a terrible person. He is every bit of the Assassin of the Organization 13.  However I would also like to look at why he is like this, what made him into this terrible person because as we can see in BBS this was not the happy teen that hung out with his best friend in Radiant Garden, and liked to eat SeaSalt Ice Cream.

Something happened, something changed.

What changed is the loss of his heart at such a crucial age, but this was only the beginning, because as a Nobody, he didn't just turn into a murderer. Losing a heart does not equal such a drastic change in morality.  Though it makes it easier to dissuade moral values for things less desirable in a normal society.

Lea was turned into a killer. A living weapon to be used as the Organization, as Xemnas saw fit. This was done through training, through manipulation and conditioning. Both horrific and terrible. Things that likely happened in the course of the time between games. You don’t just become okay with killing because someone asks you to. And Lea did not show signs of being a sociopath.

He was pushed, punished and forced to forget the notion of right and wrong that he'd learned as a child, and in his teenage years, which are very crucial  the most relevant reason is a persons establishment of a sense of self. Even though psychological studies say we start to recognize who we are during infancy, we decide who we are when we are teenagers. We decide what we want to learn, where to go to college, what we like and don't like.

Teenage years are the time when a child's mind is maturing, and while Axel’s was maturing, he was learning killing was a necessity. 

The only person he'd bonded to was there with him trapped in that hell and being subjected to his own brand of manipulation and coercion.

Now, one might argue that Axel could have rebelled, could have said no, and while I could say yes I will also say, why would you when your first instinct in any situation is to come out alive. Even if you do not wish to live, your body will struggle to survive. Survival instinct is not something easily ignored. Children in abusive situations often find themselves trapped and feeling helpless with no way out. 

There was also the matter of Saix, he would not leave him there either. This was not a choice for them. This life, however it is a life they accepted. They were victims who were groomed to be terrible people.

Children who were clutching at the only remaining constant in their lives, each other. Its not easy to abandon something, especially something you are constantly used to having/seeing, in your life. 

I would also like to point out that at some point this does change for Axel when he begins to bond with Roxas and Xion, not a great deal but enough for him to begin to rebel. Not so much that he can just drop the things he's learned and the things he knows.

Which brings me back to Roxas, when it became obvious he could not get him to return to the Organization once the blond defected, he fell back on what he knew to deal with a problem.

To kill.

He was unsuccessful of course but he was still very willing to murder the kid.

Is this entirely Axel's fault, no. However, forgiveness for such things is not expected. Sometimes it cannot even be earned. Its always up to the victim in that case, others can form their own opinions and conclusions based on the presented facts. 

You might say upon re-completion and the fact that he now has a keyblade he's a good guy. Everything is all rainbows and kittens.

Wrong.

Keyblades do not = good guys.

Case in point, Xehanort has done some terrible terrible shit, he's the reason shit went down, he has a heart and he has a keyblade.

Light does not make you inherently good, darkness is not inherently evil.

And while Lea is a Guardian of Light, and has forgiveness from several characters, that still does NOT make what he did okay (its not forgotten nor null and void). He's still not a redeemed character. He died without ever saying he was sorry for what he did. Verbally the only person he has apologized to is Kairi.

Who forgave him. Of her own volition. 

He is still very capable of murder, of selfishness, and equally he is capable of doing good, when Terranort tried to go after Kairi, Lea shielded her physically with his keyblade and his body.

He struggles yes, with the things he did because of his heart knows that the things he did were wrong, but does that stop him from repeating those mistakes?

No.

If someone threatened those he has come to care for he is very capable of removing them permanently. He knows its wrong but he also knows that it will end the threat.

Leaving he himself, and the rest of his friends/ family unhamred.

Someone who is redeemed would no longer entertain thoughts like this. They would know there are other ways, better things to do to handle this.

Not Lea, he was made into a weapon, a predator, and he is still very much the same beast.

Should you forgive him?

Should you sympathize with him?

Should you understand why he is the way he is?

All questions that you have to decide for yourself.

Yes he is a monster, but this monster was made. He wasn't born.

That does not make him less of a terrible individual. He can still be the devil.

Now its at his own discretion rather than the direction of someone else.

So not he's not redeemed. He's done terrible things. I won't crucify him for it but at the same time I won't make excuses for him. He hasn’t apologized for any of it. Even with Sora. He offered an excuse for his actions. 

‘I wanted to see Roxas’ 

His reasoning was selfish and his actions thus far were not altruistic. 

Right is right and wrong is still wrong. Even if done with the best intentions in mind.

As they say: ‘The Road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions.’

In the end, many in the fandom have disregarded Axel’s crimes, swept them under the rug or made excuses about them. What he did was still in no uncertain terms evil. He hasn’t apologized for it. He’s only show remorse in connection with those he has formed bonds with. Roxas, Xion, and Kairi to name a small few. He has done good, he’s helped save the collective of words and fought against the heartless, this does not outweigh nor erase the past, only that people have in some fashion chosen to forget. You will not find that on my blog. I will continue to explore this side of the character as it was an important tool in his development and not easily cast aside. Take that as you will, however, know to expect that my Axel/Lea will not be treated like he is Redeemed. The assassin is still there, lurking. Only this time. The wolf knows to wear his sheepskin suit. 

[lynzuglyliar]

Lynz Way & Chantal Claret: Stalking & Online Bullying, A Masterpost.

This post is intended to document and expose Lindsey Way and Chantal Claret’s bullying behaviour, which has been discussed a lot on this blog and on others. In this post we touched on some of this behaviour, such as Lindsey using her art to mock Lucinda Montano and testimony from Lucinda that Lindsey and Chantal online bully fans.

You may also want to read our previous post about Lindsey’s estranged sister and mother so that you have some background knowledge needed for this post.

To cut a long story short, Lindsey dropped her mother and sister, Amy not long after Bandit was born:

It looks like Lindsey has dropped her family- they’ve met Bandit once. When her mother was sick, Lindsey didn’t get in touch. Amy thinks Lindsey is embarrassed of them. Not nice, but then again, a lot of people fall out with their families. So, if Lindsey doesn’t want anything to do with her family, then why does she continue to monitor what they do? Why does she share this information with her friends?

Here is an extract of the court documents between Frances Bean Cobain, Courtney Love and Frances’s ex-husband (Silva v. Love et al.):

Here is a screenshot of the original text messages between Frances and Lindsey (Way):

We have highlighted the areas where Frances refers to Lindsey’s sister and mom.

First up “even her go fund me pic is with the papa roach guy. That’s some stalkerish dedication right there”. What is Frances referring to?

Well, Amy just happens to be a big Papa Roach fan:

Please note the date of the court documents as September 2015. Why was Amy setting up a GoFundMe page? Well, at this time, Amy was single, around six months pregnant and working full time to earn money for the arrival of her first baby, as well as supporting and caring for her ill mother single-handedly.

Frances Bean mocking Amy for setting up a GoFundMe is all the more disgusting when you remember just how much she is worth from her father’s estate alone.

Also, when Frances laughs at Amy being “stalkerish” for using a photo of her with her favourite band, is she not laughing at all of us who have ever been excited to meet their favourite celebrity?

Luckily, she’s never done anything embarrassing like that, right?

No matter what happened between Lindsey and Amy, whether she did drop her family out of embarrassment or whether it was something else, mocking Amy with her friends is not cool. It’s mean, it’s nasty and it’s just the kind of behaviour that Lucinda said she was was responsible for.

Ok, so how about “our bloodlines suck”. I get that Frances had a turbulent upbringing with the loss of her father and instability from her mother. Lindsey’s dad was also absent for most of her life, but that’s not what Frances is referring to here, she’s directly referring to Lindsey’s mom and sister. What exactly have they done wrong? They weren’t ‘cool’ enough for Lindsey’s L.A. lifestyle. That’s it. Does that make them the same as a drug addict mother or a father who (no disrespect intended to Kurt) killed himself? Is getting a picture with your favourite band really that bad? Are their bloodlines comparable, really?

To our final point, Frances says, “anyway let me know what info you get about ur mom and sis”. Not only does this look like Frances is fishing for more of Amy’s “stalkerish” behaviour to laugh at, but it suggests that Lindsey was actively researching what her mom and sister were up to and sharing it with her ‘coven’, despite taking nothing to do with them (by her own choice). Lindsey saw her sister’s plea for money to support her new arrival and help with her mother’s care and what did she do- laughed about it with her multi-millionaire friend. Classy.

So let’s take another look at that screenshot, because Amy isn’t the only one on the receiving end of their taunting:

Charlie is also being called out for her own “stalkerish dedication”- “it’s gonna be Charlie in 5 years”.

So, to Charlie. By now you’ve probably heard the Legend of Charlie. She’s famous in the MCR/MSI fandom (mostly for the wrong reasons). We believe that she was one of the first victims of Lindsey and Chantal’s bullying. Here’s a quick recap (of what we know, anyway) about the Charlie saga.

Charlie was an MCR fan. She had a popular blog and was well-known in the fandom. Like most MCR fans, Charlie became an MSI fan when introduced to them through Gerard and Lindsey’s marriage. At 14 years old, Charlie even met Lindsey during the 2008 MSI tour:

In 2010, (when Charlie was 16) Lindsey Way and Jessicka Addams announced an art show. Charlie, being a big Lindsey fan, booked her tickets from the U.K. to L.A., excited to meet Lindsey again and see her art show. Lindsey and Jessicka ended up moving the art show to another date, when Lindsey heard that Charlie had already booked her flight, she kindly invited Charlie to visit her at the studio during her trip, since she would be missing the show. Here are some pictures from this meeting:

Lindsey even gave Charlie this note after their time together:

But soon after this, things turned sour. We’re not exactly sure what happened, we don’t think anyone but Lindsey and Charlie know the full story. Some people speculated that Lindsey wasn’t happy that Charlie posted the letter seen above. Anyway, there was a backlash against Charlie. Her and her friends’ Tumblrs were hacked and their private conversations were leaked, including this one:

You can imagine just how much flack Charlie got after this message was leaked. Also, please note that ‘fandom mom’, agony aunt and Lindsey’s “lady-friend”, Anna posted this, despite being around 10 years older than then teenage Charlie. Nice.

We’ve tried to avoid mentioning Charlie on here and contrary to popular beliefs, such as this one:

 .... it’s not because we think she’s completely innocent. Certainly, she did some problematic, ‘fangirly’ stuff. But so do most fandoms and it’s not like Anna wasn’t doing exactly the same thing. Mainly we’ve tried to leave her out of it because she’s not a public figure and because she’s had enough shit from the fans as well as Lindsey et al. especially from her BFF, Chantal Claret.

It has been widely speculated for years that Chantal has set up fake Twitter accounts to bully fans. So after we saw this Twitter exchange (below), we thought it was time to bring Charlie’s story to the forefront. Please note that Charlie is now more or less out of the fandom and this post is in no way intended to drag her back into this mess.

So why would Chantal be so intent on bullying Charlie, one of Lindsey’s biggest fans?

We did a bit of digging and we’ve traced it back to a Vimeo video that Charlie and her friend made when they were 16. We remember seeing it years ago, but we think it’s been deleted now. Here’s our best recollection of it: in the video Charlie’s friend (sorry, we don’t know her name) talked about how she was friends with Donna Way on Facebook (please note: at this time, Donna accepted most requests from MCR fans on FB). Apparently, Donna had taken a shine to the girls and invited them to stay with her in New Jersey. Charlie and her friend were talking fangirly shit about how funny it would be to be invited to Gerard’s old house and maybe even stay in his old bedroom. Not the most mature thing, but it was typical shitposting talk that you’d expect from a couple of excitable teenagers. It was a video for their friends, after all.

Unfortunately for them, Chantal was up to her private investigator work (much like when she made the nowaymikeyway blog with Lindsey) and set about making sure the video went public and everyone (including MCR members and Charlie’s then-boyfriend) knew about it:

As you can see, this is the account ‘morrisseystears’ that Charlie and @poisondwarfiero were discussing in the twitter exchange above. We can’t 100% prove that this was Chantal but knowing her behaviour, Charlie’s confidence that it was her and based on these tweets (below), we are convinced that this was one of her many sleeper accounts.

“#HiC” clearly means Charlie and “stay on the internet and stuck in their houses” refers to Charlie dealing with panic attacks and agoraphobia due to the fallout from her divorce from Lindsey and the MCR/MSI fandom.

Can we also talk about Chantal’s use of the term “skin wearers”? Does that sound familiar? It should. It’s what Lindsey and the rest of the spooky pie coven refer to their fans, fans like you, as:

So, if you’re a fan of Lindsey, be sure to know that this is what her and her friends call you. Cute. Wonder what other terms of endearment they have for fans?

Here’s some more proof from Lucinda that Chantal and Lindsey bullied Charlie (although Jessicka has since owned up to also being part of the group that bullied her). In our previous post, we blanked out Charlie’s name as we didn’t want to cause her any more upset. However, we now think that her story should be told as it is an important part of demonstrating how cruel and conniving the ‘coven’ can be:

Chantal’s bullying was so bad, referring to people (mostly teenagers) as “cunts”, “bitches” and “whores” that she’s now deleted all her tweets from before 2016/2017. She’s also fallen out with A LOT of people, including those who used to be her close friends. See this friendly twitter banter directed at Chantal from Giuliana Mayo:

Fast forward from February 2013 to September 2013 and we have this:

and this:

Also, notice Jessicka sticking up for Chantal and claiming that she is not a bully (lol). This is the pack mentality of the coven. But now they’ve dropped Jessicka and are online bullying her with references to her mental health.....

Anyway, we digress.... But it wasn’t just Chantal that bullied fans online. Christian Addams, Jessicka’s husband also got involved in the bullying of Charlie, a 16 year old fan (who is British btw) :

Considering that Lindsey followed all these people at the time - Jessicka, Christian, Chantal - there’s no way that she didn’t know that this bullying was going on.

It doesn’t end there though the @JOJrobot twitter account was also used to bully fans (along with another account @CourtneyThug- now deleted and owned by someone unrelated to this mess). Jessicka claims that she did not run the JOJrobot account but it has now been re-appropriated to the @JOJ_official account (that she ALSO says she doesn’t run... funny that). You can see that here:

So Chantal was @Morrisseystears, Jessicka was @JOJrobot, meaning that Lindsey was most likely @CourtneyThug as these accounts would ‘tag-team’ the bullying of fans, often interacting with each other. The JOJrobot account (as you can see is now @JOJ_official) was responsible for these tweets bullying teenage fans @ruthieforadream and @AyeraJeanGrey:

Notice that the JOJ account uses the same bullying tactics that Chantal implements, tweeting famous people that their target is fans of in order to embarrass them and maybe even get their idols to block them. This is a pattern of behaviour that can also be seen in CourtneyThug’s tweets. The @CourtneyThug account was equally as nasty and also targeted another teenage fan, all because they briefly followed an anti-MSI twitter account. They tweeted disgusting stuff about the people she/he was a fan of (another Jared Leto fan, not that that’s important though) and refused to back down, even when they unfollowed the anti-MSI account and begged to call a truce:

Not really related, but a bit of a lol, Jessicka the JOJrobot accounted tweeted to get self-promo for Jessicka:

and, even weirder, tweeted Eliza (Cuts) Siep (ex-girlfriend of Gerard Way and fanfic writer extraordinaire):

Since Jessicka has been booted out of the coven, she seems to regret her bullying past and is trying to make amends and distance herself from them:

So to sum it all up:

- Lindsey monitors the actions of her mom and sister despite taking nothing to do with them

- Lindsey and Frances make fun of Lindsey’s relatives

- Chantal is a bully

- Charlie isn’t the devil

- Jessicka was a bully, is now (hopefully) reformed

- Christian Addams was a bully

- Lindsey knew about the bullying and was most likely @courtneythug

These women in the ‘coven’ are still operating fake and sleeper accounts. To our knowledge (and we will update if anything changes) these are their current sleeper accounts-

Lindsey Way- @weirdtrufax on Tumblr and Twitter (previously @ratsinyourwall on Tumblr and @ceilingrats on Twitter) also @Vee00181 on Twitter.

Chantal Claret - @mcrIord on twitter

[atc74]

Spread Too Thin

Written for @d-s-winchester​‘s Fall In Love With Fall Challenge. Friends, I had a terrible day and decided to channel it into this. Completely unbeta’d and I hope y’all like it. I choose Jensen and the photo above. And I was inspired by “Crazy Girl” by the Eli Young Band. I had a second inspiration, so you just may get a 2nd fic for this challenge.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, an AU of sorts (Jensen is not a famous actor but he and Jared are still friends and have gone into business together)

Warnings: Language (like one little swear word), Angst with just a touch of fluff (cause it’s me y’all)

WC: 1700

There were few things you found truly satisfying in this hectic world you lived in. But sitting out on the lake, the leaves changing color with the dropping temperatures and the vapors slowly rising as the crisp autumn air cools faster than the water below it. This was one of them.

You had been sitting out on the dock for what felt like hours after he stormed out of the house after an argument. You had been feeling down for a while, but he was never even home to see it anymore. You felt like a single parent raising your five year old son these days. Between work and school and soccer, you felt stretched way too thin, but he wouldn’t even know. Early in your relationship, you and Jensen made each other a promise to always be honest with one another, so that it what you did, but it didn’t go the way you had hoped.

You walked in the door from work just as Evan was getting off the bus from school. Your timing couldn’t have been better today, after a quick stop at the market to grab the makings to finish up dinner.

“Come on, Ev! We have to get ready for soccer, Buddy!” you shouted as he talked with his friends before slowly making his way up the driveway.

“I’m hungry,” Evan pouted as he dropped his bag inside the front door.

“I am fixing you a snack now. Can you please change into your soccer uniform and get your cleats on? I will help you tie them once you are dressed,” you promised as you prepared a quick snack of apples and cheese, then checked on the roast that had been slow cooking all day.

You could hear him upstairs and prayed he was doing as you asked. He could get ready quickly when you didn’t have anywhere to be, but on the days you were pressed for time is when he became slower than molasses in January. Thankfully, you heard his feet bound down the stairs.

“Is Dad gonna be there?” Evan asked as he sat down with his snack.

“I don’t know, Ev. He has been really busy at the brewery lately. I will call and remind him, okay?” Your heart sunk a little, knowing this would be the third game in a row Jensen missed if he got hung up. Again.

“Hey Babe, I know you have been busting your ass, but I just wanted to remind you that Ev’s got a game tonight at five thirty at Leed’s Park. He is excited and we can’t wait to see you! Love you,” you disconnected after leaving your second voicemail of the day. You stowed your phone in your back pocket with a heavy sigh.

“Okay, Bud, let’s get something on those feet!” You quickly put cleats on your son’s feet and laced them up, ushering him out the door with the last of his snack in a baggie and a bottle of water. You made it to the field with just a few minutes to spare, but didn’t seen Jensen’s vehicle anywhere.

The game was great, considering it was five year olds and Evan scored a goal, so on the way home you stopped for ice cream that he could have for dessert. Once in the house, you got Evan in the shower, set his pajamas and clean underwear out and made your way downstairs to set the table. As you set the last plate out, Jensen walked in the kitchen.

“Smells amazing, Honey. I am starving and exhausted,” Jensen sighed loudly and stabbed his fork into the meat.

“Ev scored a goal and you weren’t there, Jen. Again. He missed you; we missed you,” you sat across from him at the table.

“I know, I am sorry, but the work has to get done. I have to balance the books, pay the contractor. Equipment is arriving by the truckload and I have to be there,” Jensen explained through a mouth full of roast beef. “This is delicious!”

“I’m glad you like it,” you commented, not really caring at the moment, as you prepared your son’s plate, piling it with meat and veggies.

The rest of dinner passed in relative silence, at least from you. Evan was too excited about his goal and told Jensen all about it. Once he was finished, you served up his victory ice cream and he went into the living room to watch his favorite show before bed.

Clearing the table, you felt your frustration with your husband continue to grow, until you slammed the plates into the sink and turned to face him.

“When are you going to put us first, Jen? You spend all your time down there,” you tried to stay calm.

“We both knew I was going to be home a lot less when we decided to open our own place. I thought you were supported me on this!” Jensen was a little less calm than you were.

“I do support you Jensen. You are my husband, my partner, my best friend, but I can’t do all of this on my own. I am working full-time at a job I am not sure I like and raising our son single-handedly, while you are down there, barely making it home for dinner most nights! Soccer, homework and my job and I am barely keeping it together. Evan misses his dad. I miss you. We need you Jen,” you poured your heart out and could feel yourself losing what little control you had left on your emotions. “I cried at my desk today, did you know that?”

“What? So now I am to blame for your shitty job? And single parent, huh? I need some air!” Jensen shouted as he stormed out the door, slamming it behind him. You heard his truck as he gunned it out of the drive.

“Mommy, are you and Daddy fighting?” Evan walked back in the kitchen with his empty bowl, his bottom lip quivering and tears threatening to spill over.

“Sometimes, Mommies and Daddies fight,” you murmured into his hair as you held him in your arms. “It’s going to be okay, Bud. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” you tried to remain strong for him.

You could still see the variegation of leaves against the cloudless sky as it faded from pink and bright orange into navy blue, a few stars started to shine through the inkiness. You remembered nights like this, when you and Jensen would sit, sharing a chair and a blanket as you looked out over the lake, or star gazed on a clear night.

But tonight it was just you and your tea. The tears you had shed dried on your cheeks, as you didn’t care enough to wipe them away; it isn’t like anyone else was there to see them. You took a sip of your now cold tea, a grimace crossed your face and you dumped it over the side of the dock into the water.

“You’re still beautiful, you know that?” a whiskey smooth voice echoed out over the water.

“What?” you gasped, not realizing he was there.

“I said you’re still beautiful, even when you make that face because your tea is cold. How long have you been out here?” Jensen asked as he took a seat next to you.

“Long enough for my tea to go cold and realize I forgot a blanket,” you scoffed.

“I thought so,” Jensen clucked as he placed the blanket in his hands over your lap, because he knows your legs get cold first.

“Thank you, Jen,” you sniffled holding back the tears you felt burning behind your lids. “You can’t just leave like that.”

“You really oughta know that I just have to walk away sometimes. We’re gonna do what lovers do; we’re gonna have a fight or two, but I ain’t ever changin’ my mind,” Jensen whispered into the night as his eyes met yours. “Crazy girl don’t you know that I love you? And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere. Silly woman, come here, let me hold you. Have I told you lately I love you like crazy girl?”

“Quoting Country songs now are we?” you laughed as you took his hand and allowed him to pull you into his lap.

“I am so sorry. I am sorry that I haven’t been here for you or Ev. I am sorry you are not happy at work. I promise from this moment on, I will let Jared take on more. I have been taking on too much, just because I want it done right, ya know? But my family needs me, and I need them,” Jensen kissed your tears away. “I wouldn’t last a single day; I’d probably just fade away. Without you, I’d lose my mind. Before you ever came along, I was living life all wrong. Smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine,” Jensen sang the rest of the song to you as he rocked you in his arms.

“Just a couple more months. Then the brewery will be open and we will be okay,” you spoke out loud, more to yourself then to your husband.

“Of course we are going to be okay. Y/N, Honey, I am sorry I ran out like that. I went to see Jared and told him I needed him and he agreed. Oh, and he also apologized when Gen started screaming at him. We are going to be more than okay,” Jensen promised.

“Good, because I want to quit my job. I don’t think it makes sense to pay for daycare once we are up and money is coming in,” you blurted out absentmindedly.

“Why are we paying for daycare? Ev is in school full time now and I promise I will be home in the mornings to get him on the bu…” Jensen’s eyes went wide as he took in your smirk.

“We fought and I forgot to tell you; we’re preg…” you were cut off by Jensen capturing your mouth in a kiss and you felt his love for you and knew you were all going to be okay.

Self Service Tag List: @padackles2010 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @smoothdogsgirl @mamaredd123​ @meeshw777​ @tmccarney @milkymilky-cocopuff  @iwantthedean​ @ashstrom87​ @chelsea072498 @paintrider13-blog​ @zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat @d-s-winchester​ @scorpiongirl1 @just-another-busy-fangirl​ @winchesterprincessbride @gemini75eeyore @waywardjoy @katewatso @cosmicpeanuthologram @jotink78 @l8nitl0vr @supernaturalyobsessed @memphisgirl1977 @bmcnally85  @ruprecht0420 @mskitty416 @theoriginalvicki @hexparker @nanie5 @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @sandlee44 @fangirl1802 @moonstar86 @raylin19 @niamandthings  @feelmyroarrrr @ellen-reincarnated1967 @kittenofdoomage @t-bear99 @hamartiamacguffin @colorfulobjectenemy @uttertrash–butlikecutetrash  @sammieb1127 @evyiione @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @death2thevirgin  @moshingatthedisco  @tankcupcakes  @winchestersmut  @alicat-life @mogaruke @cyrilconnelly @growningupgeek @charliebradbury1104 @evansrogerskitten @therewillbeblood @docharleythegeekqueen @megansescape @taste-of-dean​ @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid   @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala  @deathtonormalcy56 @notnaturalanahi @jensen-jarpad @impalaimagining @fangirlextraordinaire @itseverythingilike @jesspfly @love-kittykat21​ @mrswhozeewhatsis @aiaranradnay @supernatural-jackles​ @samwinlover  @spnsasha @27bmm @keepcalmandcarryondean @iamnotsaneatall @autopistaaningunaparte @sis-tafics @blacktithe7 @deansdirtyduchess  @emoryhemsworth @dracotomanddeansprincess23 @bringmesomepie56 @devilgirlsarah @spnbaby-67 @katymacsupernatural​ @holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck​ @emilycollins11 @myoutletforfanfiction @deansangelgirl @thinkwritexpress-official​ @queencflair @mizzzpink @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @wonderange2​ @kayteonline​

Dean / Jensen Only: @anokhi07 @perpetualabsurdity @txp87 @akshi8278  @iamabeautifulperson18 @suzannebeaketa @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @deandoesthingstome​ @emilycollins11 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @boxywrites @deansangelgirl @sparklesuperwholock88

[danreblogsstuff]

Another Follower Dealy I’m Not Going To Actually Tag Anyone For Because I’m An Awkward Shit

Rules: Tag 20 followers you want to get to know better

Tagged by: @darklordtomarry

Name: Dan

Nickname: Cy, I suppose, even though the only people who use it never actually talk to me, lol.

Gender: Dat boi.

Star Sign: Leo

Height: 5′9″-5′10′ish? Somewhere in there.

Sexual Orientation: Gay af

Hogwarts House: I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS AND I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I HAVE NO IDEA. Which probably means Hufflepuff? I mean, what’s the house for the lazy, slightly ambitious, misanthropic, anxious shut ins? 

Favorite Colour: Cyan

Favorite Animal: OKAY. SO. You know fuckin’ snow leopards? Because snow leopards are the best. Followed closely by buns. 

Time Right Now: 12:09PM

Average hours of sleep: Usually... *tries to math* 7-8ish? Most days I get to sleep around 2:30AM and wake up between 9:30 and 11:30AM so, something like that.

Cat or Dog Person: WHY DO I HAVE TO CHOOOOOOOOOOSE?! I’ve never had a cat because my mom is allergic, and I love my dogs, but the only one left alive is a huge mess that pees and craps everywhere and honestly I just want something that will poop in a box instead of all over every rug we have so right now I’m gonna say cat? Yeah. Cat.

Favorite Fictional Characters: Fuck, dude. I’m gonna be here all day. Okay. Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Boba Fett, Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Sephiroth, Squall, Roxas, Kaim Argonar, Prompto (main cast needs to stop being so mean to my baby), pre-Blaine Kurt Hummel, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Colin Wilkes, Solid Snake, Liquid Snake, Big Boss, Psycho Mantis (especially Tretij, my little Baby Mantis), Ocelot, Proto Man, Light Yagami, L, Edward Elric, Roy Fucking Mustang, Alphonse Elric, Envy, Balthier, Reks (I’m still not over the beginning of FF12. GIVE HIM BACK!), Yellow Yoshi, My Commander Shepard, My Hero of Ferelden/Hawke/Inquisitor, Zevran, Anders, Fenris, The Doctor, The Master, Sonic the Hedgehog (mostly the SatAM version), every Ninja Turtle, Megatron (he tries so hard), Riku, Marth (my original sword boy), Sebastian and Ciel (yes they need to be together as one character), Sheev Palpatine (the original dirty old man collecting his harem of pretty boys), Sorey, Mikleo, Edna, Richard from Tales of Graces (he deserved to be in so much more of that game), Colin Creevy, Poe Dameron, Finn, oh my god, and this isn’t even getting into non-HP book characters. Let’s just leave this here with the understanding that this could go on until I hit the word limit.

Number of Blankets I sleep With: In summer, one. In winter, at least two, a thick and a thin, with additional thins on standby if needed.

Favorite Singer/Band: Okay, I’m going to pick just one here and say blink 182, because they pretty much single handedly got me into music when I was a kid and shaped my musical tastes until I was in my early 20′s. 

Dream Trip: Japan, but, not like any of the actual tourist destinations, just the stores that sell fandom merch that won’t ship to the US. 

Dream Job: Writer who gets one of his books turned into a profitable movie series. 

When was this blog created: August 2015

Current Number of Followers: 80! And at least 5 are porn blogs.

When did your blog reach its peak?: Just now?

What made you decide to make a tumblr: Too many of my boyfriend’s (now fiance) friends follow my twitter and I wanted a place to talk about/promote my writing without feeling self conscious about what I’m writing, so I made this blog and promptly started reblogging gay shipping stuff, lol. 

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this. Just tag me back so I know people actually listen to me, lol.