#and get a nosebleed

[lovelenivy]

mouse bites™

[clawz-loopz]

They haven't even kissed yet. Somebody save them

[butch4allconfessions]

I’ve had several glasses of wine and I may not be drunk but god am I horny I need someone to give me a long suffering sigh as they spread their legs to indulge me like I’m a stupid mutt who’s only happy if they’ve got their face in someone’s cunt

[cangrellesteponme]

alois my beautiful son they could never make me hate you

[alliekitaguchi]

THE POSSIBILITIES OF THE NEXT EPISODE ARE SENDING ME INTO ORBIT:

Veth & Braius - the horniest throw down of all time feat Sam (x2)

Caleb & Dorian - Caleb (Liam) telling Dorian to get his shit in gear and just TALK to Orym (also Liam)

Fearne & Jester - Ashley and Laura at their most powerful

Yasha & Beau & Fearne & Imogen & Laudna - the gayest thing ive ever seen

Fjord & Cad & Orym - 2 wildmother worshippers who see a small man with a vestige from the wildmother and adopt him immediately

Caleb & Ashton - “my husband said you have a beacon in your head” “yes sir”

Cad & Laudna - two spooky dead people a la the Spider-Man meme

Ashton & Beau - they will either hate each other or love each other

Dorian & Fjord - I truly believe they will match each others freak

Veth & Orym - Sam WILL give Orym (Liam) the shove to talk to Dorian because Sam is a shit-stirrer

Fjord & Imogen - southern to southern connection and then Laura breaks it by being jester and saying “fjord you’re doing the old accent again” and Travis’s nose starts bleeding

Yasha & Braius - black and white monochrome big baddies

Beau & Orym - fighter to fighter connection

Yasha & Orym - tough, angsty widows who found love in a (literal) hopeless place

Braius & Jester & Veth - “wait, why do you look so familiar?”

[martyryo]

Top ten men that nosebleed when kissing

[marimoog]

he bribed her to not tell anyone (she told robin immediately)

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[parasolladyansy]

https://www.tumblr.com/parasolladyansy/784965812222066688/hero-of-bombs-close-call-hahaone-of-the-rare?source=share

Has something like this ever happened with Ansy?

Like a monster attacking her while Ingo and Link are both distracted.

Well, it’d probably be more like this:

Hero of Bombs - Useful

This feels like something I’d do (& have done >u>): wanting to do more, getting carried away, & neglecting my already low health stats. Still trying to learn that my worth isn’t tied to how useful / productive / convenient I am

*For those who haven’t played TotK, isekaied-me has more hearts & stamina in that one panel thanks to Hearty & Enduring Elixirs / meals.

**Actually did this the other day lol, when I got super into cleaning while unrested, dehydrated, etc. Ended up sleeping for 10+ hours & resting the whole day after just to recover. Yeah. Don’t do that. <u<;;

[chazchaschad]

The green blood is so funny but I don’t want to hurt him 😭

[citrusmpreg]

Citrus Gijinka !!

some doodles ive made/forgot to post! . Also the episode was PEAK!!!!!!!!! As ALWAYS!!!!

ill try to make a good drawing of my spool gijinka soon.. trust..

[verstappenalty]

crazy that spain 2016 was the first time max and gp worked together. almost no notice, totally different car, new race engineer, let's hope it works!!! and then it became one of f1's most functional and iconic duos

[ninyard]

planned to have a quick scroll before i sleep (first mistake) thought about coke addict jeremy (biggest mistake)

[nenoname]

i'm still fascinated that the original version of not what he seems would've ended with ford immediately punching stan (rip ford's beard)

the extra "previously on the last episode" scenes too

[canisalbus]

my bf also gets wretched sleep nosebleeds like machete. usually they’re caused by cold dry weather for him. his bedsheets and pillowcases are peppered with bloodstains because of this. rip our boys

.

[iwatcheditbegin]

The most unserious tour