#and gimli and eowyn and everyone else

[eruanna1875]

I love this AU every time I see it

On today's episode of LotR AU: Boromir Lives, it's after the battle of Pelennor Fields! There are so many great possibilities to explore when Boromir finally, finally returns to Minas Tirith--- making the agonizing decision to follow Aragorn through the Paths of the Dead instead of going straight to the city with Theoden, fighting like a demon outside the gates, learning about his father's death, and then choosing to leave again to accompany Aragorn to the Black Gate, but right now it's WHUMP TIME.

Obviously, first up is Faramir. If Boromir is with Aragorn, he won't enter the city until after the battle, and so he wouldn't know anything about Faramir's flight from Osgiliath or the pyre in the tombs.

In the few days between the battle and leaving for the Black Gate, I envision Boromir operating on undiluted adrenaline as the wounded and dead are tended. Who needs food? Who needs sleep? Not Boromir. He's returned to his city at its lowest possible moment and he's going to DO EVERYTHING TO FIX EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE.

The scene where Pippin finds Merry wounded and dazed and wandering the streets, has always been a favorite of mine and was one of the first LotR illustrations I ever did ~20 years ago. In the book, Gandalf is the one who comes to carry Merry up to the Houses of Healing. In this AU, you know it's Boromir.

Anyway, eventually Legolas and Gimli probably have to force some rudimentary self-care.

Boromir Lives AU: Aragorn's Coronation

Boromir Lives AU: Faramir and Eowyn's Wedding

[shirefantasies]

hii! love your writings, I was wondering if you could do a reader x fellowship (plus eowyn and arwen) where reader is usually seen in armor and unkempt garments + dirty hair but then one day they show up (probably for an event) in beautiful fancy clothes, hair did and everything? Thanks!!!!

scREAMS I LOVE THIS YES. Warning: minor blood mention in two

LoTR Characters Seeing You Dressed Up For the First Time

Aragorn

Both of you had only borne witness to the other in times of battle and survival, not exactly the most formal of circumstances, but such had never even occurred to you until the night of celebration in Rohan. King Theoden invited you to the company of his family, offering his niece or nephew to take you to a bathhouse and present you with a new outfit. Aragorn turned your way the moment you stepped out, eyes positively glowing with reverent awe focused entirely on your form, your smile as your gazes met. He said nothing, simply drew closer until you could feel his warmth upon you. "The people of Rohan have been good to us," he said. "Yes," you agreed with a nod, "I wish we can give as much back. But perhaps we should start by enjoying their hospitality, hm?” “Indeed. Let us keep this night for ourselves. I fear if I stray too far, though, I may get lost in you.” “Don’t worry,” you whispered, lips quirking upward as you pulled Aragorn into the fray of dancers, “I’ll be here to pull you back, too.”

Legolas

Legolas managed to seem dressed up in nearly anything he wore, a feat you certainly envied! Your travels left you feeling like a drowned rat half the time or else just dirty and bedraggled. When the elves of Lothlórien offered you housing, bathing, even food and dancing for two nights, no had fled your vocabulary entirely. Taking their hands, you were swept off into a river of luxury, emerging clean and smiling and draped in the finest fabrics. An elf on either side, you made your way down to the lower flet upon which your hospitality lie, the way Legolas turned his head not once but twice unable to escape your notice. "What?" You teased, aware at least of his shock to see you clad so differently. "You didn't know what I looked like beneath my helmet?" "I didn't know you looked so nice beneath it," He conceded with a smile, stepping closer, "Perhaps we ought not to return it after this night."

Boromir

Had someone asked him, Boromir would never have said he wanted someone with blood under their nails and sword in hand. That was him, that was his job. And yet he felt something different when he clapped a hand to your shoulder after you saved him in combat. When you emerged at the party dressed up, though? His heart swelled five sizes. He should have known- you could do anything. “Putting everyone to shame here, aren’t we?” “What do you mean?” You asked, gaze flitting deliciously down to the hand Boromir laud upon your shoulder, all but challenging him. Accepting it, he rested the other on your hip, urging you out into a dance. “Looking better than them in both mail and finery.” “I suppose I’m just lucky.” “No, I am,” Boromir shot back, “For I am the one who gets to have you in my arms.”

Gimli

To use Gimli's words, around each other you two tend to remain "fully armed and filthy". It is Lord Elrond, of course, who offers an alternative state upon your entry to his homely-house, granting you the reprieve of your first bath in far too many days and even a new outfit. Elvish craftsmanship was like nothing else, delicately embroidered and soft and light unlike anything that has ever graced your skin. Reactions were something you hadn’t considered in the slightest, but as soon as you emerged you found yourself giggling at Gimli’s parted lips and removal of his helmet as if in some reverence you had not earned. “Now this,” he nodded with a smile of approval as he swept an arm over your entire form, “This is the one thing the elves have gotten right.”

Frodo

The tailors’ shop was busy this morning. Bilbo needed a new set of threads to replace some tugged-off buttons, but every working hobbit was rushing around before Frodo could even ask if they had a spool of forest green to spare. What were they- “Frodo!” He would recognize that voice anywhere. Turning, he caught sight of you in the middle of a fitting, the tailors having been flitting about your form as they worked on quite a fine outfit for you. “What do you think?” Spinning around and then striking a joking pose, you fixed him right in the eyes, and it was like an arrow struck him, taking the very breath from his lungs. Finally Frodo’s sense and words returned to him, bringing a smile to his lips. “It’s perfect.”

Sam

You had worked with Sam plenty of times in the gardens, so he had seen you countless times in things like overalls or pinafores or aprons and thought you looked fit for any king and castle. But then came Fatty Bolger’s birthday party, a bash all his friends were invited to…and plenty of other hobbits would find themselves at anyway. One such was you, and knowing you’d be dancing you got cleaned up quite nice, standing at the edges of the lantern-hung floor hoping you might be noticed. And noticed you were, for you caught Samwise Gamgee as he controlled his gaping expression and shook his head out before he approached you, asking if you’d honor him with a dance.

Merry

Gimli was teasing you as Merry entered the room, feeling his heart shoot into his throat at a mere glimpse. He caught a few spare words from the dwarf, including him asking you if you had someone you’d like to impress. “Hush,” you chastised him, “What if he hears you?” At that, Merry couldn’t resist stepping forward. “I don’t know who you’re trying to impress,” he told you, eyes full of wonder, “But he’s an absolute fool if it doesn’t work.” “You really think so?” Your tone, your hopeful look, those beautiful eyes Merry could drown in. “I know so.” “Well,” you glanced away, “That’s good. Very good, since it was you.”

Pippin

Tired and bedraggled, you all but fell into the arms of the elves of Lothlórien, blissfully bathing and shyly accepting the fine garb they offered you. Tugging it into place, you emerged through the doorway, unaware the rest of your fellowship waited beyond the threshold. Soon as his eyes fell upon you, Pippin's jaw dropped, his lips slowly curling upward into a wide smile that had you mirroring it, gaze dropping from his. “Wow," Pippin breathed as you drew closer still, hands hovering in front of him in the space between your bodies, "You- you look- Wow. They’ve certainly given you a fine…wow.”

Faramir

On the battlefield you had fought side by side, faces obscured by steel and focus. Soldiers from two armies melded as one. Yet here you were simply citizens, representatives of your people. Diplomats even on the dance floor. All thoughts of such relations fled from Faramir’s mind, though, as your form filled his vision. “Never did I think I would be granted such a moment as this,” he confessed as you took his hand and gripped about his neck, body swaying against his.

Eomer

Theoden, Rohan's king, was giving a celebration all were to attend. Something of a victory revel, but you must confess that you just looked forward to the dancing. Stuffy as it may have been, it was also quite fun donning a nice outfit, your reflection beaming back at you. The expression carried on all the way into the great hall, shining into the hanging lights. You caught sight of a head turning the moment you emerged. A golden head. Eomer. With a wave, he dismissed the man he spoke to- a fellow soldier, you presumed- and strode before you. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" "To the same thing everyone else does, I suppose," you teased in response, "This revel." "Well, remind me to thank my uncle later," Eomer replied with a wide smile, extending a hand in a clear invitation to dance as his eyes traveled up and down over your form, "Shall we?"

Eowyn

She had worn a smile of surprise when you even removed your helmet for the first time in her presence, let alone donning your finest. When it came time for a celebration with her people, a far different garb hung from your body, all in gorgeous fabrics and colors perfectly complimenting your own hues. As soon as you stepped into the light of Rohan's hall, Eowyn positively grinned, her eyes of soft blue alight. Taking up a cup from the table by which she stood, she crossed over to stand before you and offer you a drink, which you accepted. "The garb of Rohan suits you perfectly," she complimented, "Do you plan on dancing?" It was worth seeing the progression of shock and speechlessness melting back into a grin when you extended a hand and replied, "If you will have me."

Haldir

Working side by side meant seeing each other in some of the worst moments, sleeves slashed and blood seeping from wounds. Armor caked with dirt and quivering devoid of arrows. Body carried to healers with reddening bandages hastily tied around limbs. And yet this, this is what shocks him. Haldir’s breath is utterly stolen, not of concern or fear this time, but in the manner of one first seeing the falling stars. “Stay still,” he breathes, almost pleading, “Let me take you in for a moment.”

Galadriel

You were a warrior by profession. In a way, at least. One such that mail was your garb far more often than any dress or robe. Thus, when you made to visit the elves of Lothlórien, you were shocked to see the fine things they'd lain out for you, pulled gently onto your body as if you deserved servants. In fact you had tried to protest, but they had simply smiled and shook their heads as fine jewels were hung about your neck. That you had earned an audience with the Lady Galadriel, was a testament to your service you would not soon take for granted. Thus, as you stood before them, you made first to lower yourself in reverence. Before you could fully adopt your posture, though, you felt the grip of a soft hand beneath your chin gently pulling you back up. Soon you were raised to meet Galadriel's eyes. "You need not bow to me. I confess I wished very much to see you like this. Come with me, if you please."

Elrond

Some might say the Lord of Rivendell should not look upon a soldier such as he did. Some of those same voices might have spoken up of the love of man and elf that had brought forth his ancestors. Not that he would not have understood. Yet as it was every time you removed your helmet something stirred in Elrond that had not done so for some years. And then one night came the celebration, a festival to which all in his counsel were invited, you included. It was that very night, in fact, that he realized how little he had seen of you outside the patrols you took together, and the same in which he would confess to you how he felt beneath the moonlight, finally spilling forth every word of your beauty you deserved.

Arwen

Had you asked her, she would have thought not at all of your dress. Your heart was what she loved, the way you cared and the way you smiled whenever you looked upon someone dear to you. Yet the day of her birthday, you draped yourself in your very finest, emerging in the view of an Arwen who could not bear tearing her eyes off of you. Grinning her beautiful grin, the elf took your hand and immediately twirled you, viewing you from every angle with her expression never faltering. “You look amazing,” she told you, "For a moment, I thought I was dreaming."

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[spinningalbinoturtle]

Thanksgiving headcanons for the Lotr crew

Its hosted in Rivendell but Elrond lets people extend the invite to others so everyone comes

Sam is in the kitchens from 6am cooking a million things-he also brought several side dishes premade

Frodo is all over the decorations and setting the table but he also made some cookies

Arwen is also very particular about this particularly the table

She has made a seating chart which she hopes will minimize squabbling

She has also set some ground rules like no dissing on your child’s interracial marriage (for Elrond and Thranduil)

Bilbo helps Sam cook in the morning but then he starts drinking around midday and doesn’t stop til he is dragged to bed by Frodo and Erestor

While Elrond is hosting he doesn’t do much just sits around and judges

He and Thranduil will be breaking Arwen’s rules

Thranduil and Gloin out drink Bilbo. They are having a silent drinking contest which has not been spoken of. Each one just decided to out drink the other

Thranduil wins cause he drinks like three bottles of a wine a day

Gimli and Legolas are just trying to avoid their parents

Thankfully Arwen sat them at the opposite end of the table

Unfortunately near Elrond who asks several awkward questions about how elf/dwarf sex works (he’s curious from a medical standpoint)

Bilbo drunkenly tells them how he had a dwarf boyfriend once so he totally understands what they’re going through at which point Frodo cuts off his wine supply

Frodo is actually trying to slow down Bilbo’s drinking all evening but with little success

Elladan and Elrohir have bonded with Merry and Pippin who introduced them to pipeweed. The four of them are stoned out of their minds and consequently eat more than everyone else. Arwen doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her brothers.

Aragorn is in charge of the turkey. Its excellent

He is mostly trying to hide from Elrond the whole time

Boromir tries to assist him with helpful turkey roasting tidbits but Aragorn would rather just do it himself

Eventually he assigns Boromir to the stuffing- its actually not bad

Erestor keeps Elrond occupied, they hang out and play chess in the middle of all the chaos

Glorfindel is the guy who is just ready for the holiday season to start

He keeps pestering Maglor to play Yule carols but Elrond’s rule is not until after dinner

Gandalf sits around and smokes and occasionally yells at Pippin. He takes turns hanging out with Bilbo and getting him drunker, hanging out with Elrond and Galadriel

Galadriel intimidates everyone no one knows where she was before or after dinner

Celeborn brought lembas rolls and cranberry sauce

Faramir makes a mean pumpkin pie

He’s just happy to be included. He fangirls over all the elves who indulge him mostly

Eowyn is enjoying watching the antics. She can’t cook for shit so she doesn’t bother to help with that but she does help clean up

So do Merry and Pippin but only because Gandalf forced them

Eomer brings “traditional Rohirric appetizers” and its smoked horse meat. Pippin and Sam are horrified to learn this.

Everyone has their favorite: Sam’s is obvs PO-TAY-TOES. Frodo likes cranberry sauce. Merry inhales stuffing. Pippin loves rolls.

Drunkest in order of most to least would be: Thranduil, Gloin, Bilbo, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn (but you can’t tell), Eomer, Eowyn, Glorfindel, Sam (he would’ve drunk more but he was busy cooking), Elladan, Elrohir (they’re so high they don’t drink much) Arwen (not a big drinker), Frodo(alcohol fucks with his anxiety so he just has one glass of wine) Faramir (who’s a teatotler cause he thinks if he did drink he’d become an alcoholic).

Lots of songs are sung before people start to retire for bed

Legolas and Gimli have sex really loudly between their fathers’ rooms to annoy them

Galadriel shows up around midnight and helps finish cleaning up

The clean up crew includes Eowyn, Merry, Faramir, Pippin, Gandalf, and Legolas and Gimli. They have a great time.

[random-imagines-blog]

Tip My Helmet {Eomer x Elf!Reader Oneshot}

Wordcount: 4004 Requested by: Anonymous Summary: You're an elf, the sister of Legolas, while he is a human. Though war brings you close to one another, is there a chance for after?

This was not where you expected to be during a time of war. Inside of Rohan, drinking human ale with all of the survivors of the Battle of Helm’s Deep - and the newly re-found Merry and Pippin. You stood with your brother as Eomer handed out tankards, one to you, one to Gimli, one to your brother. Some kind of juvenile drinking game. You played such things back in Mirkwood from time to time, but with alcohol that was much stronger than this. Your hands wrapped around the tin, feeling the warmth of the drink within. “No pauses,” Eomer was explaining. “No spills.”

“And no regurgitation,” Gimli added on, his eyes large like a child’s as he brought his lips to the foamy liquid swimming atop the ale.

“So, it’s a drinking game?” Your brother asked in an innocent tone, making you smirk slightly to yourself. Legolas was a lightweight, by Elven standards, but with this ale, he’d still be standing strong by the time that everyone else is passed out. Eomer’s eye caught yours with a look of amusement, and you smiled softly.

“Last one standing wins!” Gimli announced, sounding very sure of himself. His laughter filled the air, along with the cheers of the Men of Rohan. Both his large hands went around the cup and brought it to his lips.

“What’ll we drink to? To victory! To victory!” The men around us called out. You lifted your drink towards your mouth, taking a sip of it. It tasted much more earthy than you had been expecting. Not a bad taste at all. Your eyes went from the handsome ones of Eomer to your brother, who ventured a taste as Gimli was chugging his down. He was getting froth all over his beard, something which amused you to no end.

Every time a tankard was emptied, Eomer would hand over another. You stopped yourself at four, shaking your head towards the Rider of Rohan. But your brother and Gimli kept going, to the surprise of the men around. More and more of the metal cups riddled the tabletop. Another two gone, before Eomer could even finish filling two more. Gimli stood on his chair to look at all the empty cups, your own three included, and let out a very drunken laugh.

“I’m not sure we should be doing this,” you said to Eomer, as your brother sipped at his own drink more delicately compared to everyone else around. “I’m starting to suspect that this will damage him beyond tonight.”

“It’s the dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy women!” Gimli said out of nowhere, saying this as if it were a matter of pride. And then let out a burp that made even you grimace, his eyes crossing as he stuck his face back into his cup.

“I feel something,” Legolas said, looking at his fingers. Eomer looked bewildered, and you sighed, shaking your head again at how damn adorable he looked like that. “A tingling in my fingers. I think it’s affecting me.”

“What did I say?” Gimli said, his words coming out in a strong slur. “He can’t hold his liquor.” His eyes crossed again, then rolled back into his head and Gimli fell down onto the ground. Head over heels.

“Game over?” Legolas said. You chastised him with just a look, for being dramatic like this. It hadn’t been a fair contest - but at least no humans had decided to join in. That much would probably have killed them.

Your group parted, Legolas helping to carry the slumbering Gimli to his room, and you moved further into the party. You found yourself being caught up in the festivities, Eowyn asking you for a dance, though you knew this was just a guise. She really wanted to learn more about Aragorn - but you stayed tight-lipped about the subject, merely smiling and dancing with her in the center of the room. The mood in the air was good. You had all won a grand victory for Rohan, for the light. A large army had been vanquished. The dark was losing the battles. You then danced with Merry and Pippin, both of them holding one of your hands. You were laughing along with them, at their enthusiasm, at their positivity. You even caught sight of Gandalf and Aragorn sharing a smile while watching you. But as you were getting ready to go over to them, a familiar set of hands touched yours gently. “Time for one last dance, my lady?”

You met Eomer’s eyes, and you smiled at him, letting his hands take hold of yours. “I’ve told you not to call me that,” You reminded, chiding him gently.

“My apologies,” he said, bowing his head. “It’s a hard habit for me to break.”

“Perhaps you should try harder,” you said, as the jaunty music continued to play, and you started the dance with Eomer. Hand in hand, you went through the steps of a folk dance, picking it up quickly. It was simple, with a few foot movements. With your bodies being close to one another. Your tunic brushed up against this, your body proximity close. He merely chuckled again, and his breath was warm against your neck while you danced. It finished with a twirl, your long hair, blonde like your brother and your father’s, flying through the air, then resting against your shoulders as you found yourself in Eomer’s arms.

There were cheers from the men around. Whistles. They seemed to be more cheering for Eomer than for yourself, you noticed, as if he had done something bold, something - he should be rewarded for. “Thank you for the dance,” he said, bowing his head to you.

“A pleasure as always, Eomer,” you said, returning the gesture. But you didn’t let go of his hand as everyone went back to their own business. No longer looking at the two of you. “Would you like to go for a walk with me?”

He raised an eyebrow at you but then nodded his head, not a bow. He let go of your hand, but followed you through the throngs of people, his large presence making you very aware that he was there.

The sweet-smelling breeze of the night air cooled your face once you stepped outside of the castle. You didn’t move too far, not going down the stairs quite yet to the city. It felt like a welcome difference from the heat inside, with the fires and the humans all crowded together, sweaty and warm. Your eyes turned upwards, looking towards the skies. The stars were bright tonight. They, too, seemed pleased by the victory.

“The stars - I believe they’re shining for us tonight,” You mumbled towards Eomer. “Even the sky is pleased about our victory. We’re on the right path.”

“You think so?” Eomer said, leaning against one of the columns of the front of the castle, his arms crossed as he looked up and out as well. “How can you tell? They look like plain stars to me.”

You chuckled, finding his humanity endearing. “The stars are beloved to my people. We have a relationship with them. They help us during times of trouble - and have always been dependable.”

“Trees, stars,” Eomer said, his eyes coming down from the skies to linger on your face. “Is there anything that you don’t have a relationship with?”

His tone showed that he meant no offense. He was a curious man. He had told you, when you had been riding back from the Battle of Helm’s deep, that he hasn’t had much contact with elves before. He had asked you about your homeland, about your brother, about how you had learned the skills in battle that you had shown. He had some outdated ideas about how women should not fight. But he couldn’t deny that you had been an asset.

“Everything,” You grinned. “The air around us is beloved to us too. When the wind is strong, it lifts us. That is why it is so easy for us to live among the trees. We can be brought right up to the top where our homes are, thanks to a stiff breeze.”

“You mean-” he said, moving away from the column, and walking up to you, his expression baffled. “You can fly? The air can make you fly, like a bird, or a Nazgul-birds?”

“Yes,” You nodded, keeping a straight face. “You did not know this?”

“No!” He said, amazed. “Can you call on the wind? Can it take you wherever you want to go? Could you-”

Your straight face failed you. Your shoulders started to shake as you began to laugh. Unlike a lot of other elves, you had managed to have a sense of humor. Playing with the other races, this bit of mischief, was one of your favorite things about this whole adventure. “I’m sorry, Eomer. I was only telling tales. Although all of the elements are important to us, all have their uses, air does not help us to fly.”

“You almost had me there,” Eomer said with a chuckle. “We could have won the whole war if that was true. It would be done in seconds. Just fly over Mount Doom and drop the ring in.”

“Unfortunately, it cannot be so,” You sighed, and looked up at the stars once more. Even though you were in a different area, the stars were much the same as the ones you saw at home, and you could follow them like a straight path right on back if you so desired. “But there is still hope, written in the night skies. These stars, they’ll show Frodo and Sam the way, just as surely as they’ll show them the way back home.”

Galadriel had given Frollo the light of the star of Eärendil. They were already involved now.

“You see that, in the stars?" Eomer asked, his voice sounding incredulous. You didn’t blame him for not believing you. Men were … a lot more folly. They’d believe in Gods that they could not see, but they didn’t believe in the very lights in the sky that they could.

“As long as there are stars, Eomer, there is hope.”

You had spoken with your brother. He and Gimli were going to follow Aragorn through the passage in the mountains. The passage that would bring them either to a great success - a secret weapon of sorts - or deadly peril. But that was their choice to make, so you only wished them safety, and that you would see them again during the war. You weren’t going to join them. You felt like your place was here, more so with the people of Rohan. With Eomer, who you had grown close with over the journey. And Eowyn, whom you already thought of as a sister.

You had been walking back towards the speaking brother and sister, when you heard words that you didn’t quite agree with. And being the person that you were, you were going to say something about it.

“War is the province of men.”

“Men?” You questioned, making Eomer turn around. “No matter which way you mean it, whether gender, or race, you do not think that I am for battle? No - you must mean the gender, for you have had no problem fighting alongside elves, and dwarves.”

You had missed that he had been talking about Merry at first, though you were on Eowyn’s side in that argument as well. Just as you had every right to fight, as did Aragorn, Theoden, Eomer himself - Merry and Eowyn both had the ability to decide to fight. But right now, you were just defending Eowyn. And yourself.

“Though I don’t remember you having a problem fighting alongside me, either,” You spoke aloud, remembering the moment that you had caught eyes with him for the first time, while searching for Merry and Pippin. And then again during the battle for Helm’s Deep, when he realized that you were there, in the full swing of things, your armor stained with blood, cuts and bruises on your arms, just like everyone else. “So, it’s just your sister you’re coddling for the moment?”

“I am not coddling,” Eomer insisted, his eyes lit up by the reflection of the fire that he had been sitting near only a moment ago. “I’m explaining the way that things are. You - you are a valuable warrior; I will give you that but-”

“That should be in the end of your sentence,” you said, sharply. “You cannot respect me as a fighter, but disrespect your sister’s wish to be the same. She might not have the experience of war that you do, no, she does not have that. But she has the same amount of heart, the same determination, the same reasons to go into battle as you have. The only differences between you are what is in between your legs, and what expectations were put upon you by someone else.”

Eowyn looked surprised, and Eomer - he just looked stunned by your words. No one had dared to talk to him like that before. Especially not a woman. “I just don’t want her to get hurt,” Eomer finally said his real reason for thinking like this. There was something about you that made his heart go in front of his brain, in front of his reasoning. “I don’t want either of you to get hurt. But she,” He said, looking towards his sister, “-she is the future of Rohan. Eowyn, you are who everyone is going to follow if something happens to-”

The word went unspoken. The King. If something happened to Theoden, it would be Eowyn that would be in charge. She would be the Queen of Rohan, taking care of the survivors. Starting over again in the city after it had been ravaged by orcs.

“But - that is not a good enough reason,” Eowyn insisted. “I worry about you, about everyone that is going out there. My friends - my family - don’t I deserve to fight for them too?”

“But-” Eomer started, but then looked between the two of us, and he saw that he was going to lose this argument. It was two against one, and both of us were speaking logically - even though he had his own good reason nonetheless. Eowyn turned on her heel and walked back to her tent, most likely to practice her sword skills once more. You had caught her doing it before. Had even given her some advice on how to use her reach to her advantage.

You approached Eomer, and daringly, you put your hand on his shoulder. You were in close proximity to him. You could smell the stew on his breath, though this was not unpleasant. It was a hearty, human-type smell. His shoulder was large underneath the fabric that he wore, which had been made warm with his own body’s heat. His hair tickled at the back of your hand.

“You do have a good heart, Eomer, and she knows that you love her, and that you care. But restricting her, keeping her in a cage like a pretty bird, is not the way to do it. Nor, exactly, is trying to claim that only men should be in war. I took offense to that.”

“I apologize for offending you,” he said, his eyes intense. Beautifully bright while being lit like this. “But I have seen you in war. And you have had years of training for it, that much was clear. You’re very skilled,” he said, his hand reaching towards your waist now in a show that was as ostentatious, as audacious as your hand upon his shoulder. It brought you both closer together than before. “You’re like a dancer out there, when you fight, you make it look easy, while we both know that it is not.”

“It isn’t,” You agreed. You had trained for centuries to be as good as you were, against all manner of foe. “But is that not all the more reason to help her rather than dissuade her? You’re an excellent swordsman, Eomer. Only rivalled by your skills as a rider. She’s going to find a way to fight whether you accept this or not. Would you not do the same?”

Eomer groaned, his thick eyebrows furrowing as he was really listening to what you were saying. “I know my place -”

“So let her decide hers,” you said, firmly, your breath upon his chin now, close. “I will help her, if you do not. The last thing either of us want is for her to get hurt. So, relieve yourself of your stubborn nature for only a couple of days and allow me to do this. It will only benefit her.”

“Fine,” he said, gritting his teeth, his eyes drilling holes into yours. “You can teach her. But I cannot. I’ve got too much to do with the rest of the army, we’ve barely recovered from Helm’s Deep.”

“I understand. Leave it to me, Eomer,” you said, your voice hitting him like soft silk against his cheeks, cool but comforting. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t lose anyone you love in this battle.”

“Including you?” He asked, without missing a beat. Your breath got caught inside your mouth, whatever words that you were thinking of saying next just rolling around on your tongue, but not escaping. You closed your lips for a second, as he looked on at you, nervous, anxious, earnest.

“Including me,” you said finally with a curt nod. He breathed out in relief, the smell of ale tickling your nose. He pressed a soft kiss onto your forehead, the first sort of affection like this that you had, and then left you to talk to his sister about what was going to happen going forward.

The battle was won, though there were great losses all around. You had not been able to keep your promise to him, for he had ended up losing someone that he loved. His own uncle. Your heart broke for him when he had found his uncle’s corpse, Eowyn bent over it, crying, Merry standing there with tears down his own face. The sound that Eomer had let out sounded more pained than anything you had ever heard before. Like he was the one who was dying.

You knelt down on Eomer’s other side and you rested your hand on his back, over his armor. He could not feel your touch, but he could feel your presence, and that had to be enough for now. “I’m sure he fought valiantly until the last,” You spoke, looking at the still noble face of Theoden, King of Rohan.

“He did,” Merry said with a nod, the sob very evident in his voice. “He surely did, my Lady.”

You did little to try to stop the crying of those around you. You only offered a hand to Eowyn, your closeness to Eomer, and your great respect to the little hobbit who was also trying to keep things together through his own grief. The latter had gone to try to find his friends, to find Pippin, no doubt, and you wished him the best of luck as he went. You did not go searching - you stayed put, feeling a familiar sense that your own brother was still alive, wherever on the battlefield he was.

Time went on. Fallen warriors were identified by the living, and were loaded onto carts, respectfully, to be carried back home to be buried. The King was given special treatment of course, being overseen by Eomer and Eowyn, as well as Aragorn himself. You and Eowyn had picked flowers to lay across his body for transport, signs of love, signs of respect. And you rode with Eomer, the first woman to ever ride upon his horse with him, holding onto his waist from behind.

Your own feelings were divided between grief and love. It was easy for the two to mix together, to combine into something bittersweet. As you rested your head upon the back of his shoulder as his steed, Firefoot, trotted beneath you, transporting Theoden back, you had a lot of thinking to do. The idea of leaving Eomer made your heart ache painfully, something you had never felt before. You knew what this unfamiliar feeling was - it was love. But there was a divide between you two - your races, your lives. He was human, his life was fleeting, he was aging before your very eyes and would soon be the age his uncle was when he died, and then older, and older, until death would greet him, hopefully peacefully.

The war wasn’t over. Once you reached Rohan, word was coming that Aragorn was planning on bringing as many troops as would come to Mordor. For Frodo, to give him time, to destroy the ring and the evil that came with it. There has not been much news of the hobbit, but there was still hope that he was out there. That he was close to achieving the end-goal.

“Will you ride?” You asked Eomer. His eyes set upon you as they did many times before, darkened by the sorrow but with a bright, determined light still within.

“I will,” he said. “I need to see this war out to the end. Do what my uncle could not.”

You nodded, understanding him. He was preparing for a night of rest in his own room once more before the ride back to Minas Tirith to meet up with Aragorn and his army. He removed his helmet, his hair falling down around his shoulders, braided still from before the battle. You moved towards him, your fingers running through the strands, shiny with sweat and oils. “I will be coming too.”

“And there is no way I can talk you out of it?” Eomer asked, looking into your eyes, licking his chapped lips. “No way to convince you to stay here, and wait for me?”

“It would be like asking the sun to wait to rise,” You admitted, moving to cup his cheek instead, his bristly facial hair rough against the smoothness of your hand. “It is in my nature to go where I am needed, and that is where I feel I must be. Fighting with my friends. With my brother.” You paused for a moment. “With my love.”

The corner of his lips went up into a smile at his admission, before quickly going back down again. “And - if I lose you?”

“Then that’s the path that fate had set us down upon,” You spoke. “It would be only too easy to stray, to find a way to another path without the potential of that hurt - but I want to remain on this one and take that chance. I want to be with you, as human as you are.”

His lips met yours quicker than you could have imagined, as if he was as swift as an elf. You closed your eyes and melted against him, feeling yourself growing rather than shrinking into this feeling. It was distressing, how fast your heart was beating inside of your chest for a man that you would only be able to hold onto for a short time. That divide - it was like the distance between two stars up there in the night sky. Further apart than one could feasibly imagine. And yet - you were both part of the same constellation regardless. Connected by a single link, and that was your feelings for one another. Whatever this final battle brought on, you’d hold onto that link, and use it to make yourself stronger, like how adding strands to a braided rope made it stronger. And you’d use it to your advantage.

For Frodo.

And for your future, as long as it may be, as much strife and loneliness might come upon it later, you would enjoy these moments of passion, of romance and of Eomer, and make each moment stretch to feel as if it lasts forever.

[coveredinsun]

update for all who care: i wrote a fic about this (…partly)

i love fanon calling gimli the “lord of aglarond” because aglarond is the name for the glittering caves in SINDARIN!!!!!!!! gimli brought legolas there and legolas said “HOLY FUCK” and called it beautiful in his own language and gimli just adopted that!!!!!!!!! so now the love between them will carry on forever in name long after they’ve sailed away together!!!!!!!!! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME

[bbr0wni3]

A Quiet Love

(One shot)

♡ -> Legolas x reader

Summary: The fellowship gets on boat, saying goodbye to Galadriel and her land with gifts on their bodies. You step on the firm ground to camp for the night, but you get back in the water to enjoy the day with your "close friend", feelings will reflect on the water you both let get yourselves wet on.

-> Content & warnings: female reader, fluff, love confession, narrated in 2nd person.

-> word count: 1.6k

-> (a/n): hii!! Another legolas fanfic that I had on my drafts for a long time, I hope you enjoy.

I also have another fanfic in the making about eowyn (wlw), that one is a lot longer!

Sorry in advance if there are some misspelled words/grammar/phrases,etc. English is not my first language!!

Divider by @/saradika

The sun hits your skin, and you leave Lórien with a necklace brushing your collarbone. gifted by the lady of the woods, Galadriel. It's one of the most beautiful necklaces you've ever laid your hands on; it holds a green elfstone as a pendant, holded by a shiny silver chain. The other members of the fellowship also received gifts like daggers elven knives, a rope, a bow for legolas, and weirdly gimli asked for some strands of hair from Galadriel, and he was now excitedly telling you and Legolas how it all went down and how beautiful the lady Galadriel was. You three are traveling on the same boat that was also handed by the elves to help us all cross the river

You look down at the water around you. You see your reflection first, and then something else caughts your attention, Legolas is also looking down, and his face reflects on the water too, you smile shyly while you keep watching your "friend", as it's quite easy to notice that this few days the term "friends" seems to wash off as you spend more and more time together. You care a lot about each other and have a very special bound, but neither of vou dares to make the first

You all soon pass the Argonath, and everyone is looking up now, amazed by the statues. You can't help but look behind to see if Legolas is also focused on the two giant statues, but your eyes meet as soon as you turn around, he was already looking at you before, you both smile really joyfully at each other. You turn around again to catch a last glance at the statues, you blush as you connect the dots of what just happened. He was not paying attention to the statues, all this time he was paying attention to you watching them.

You hit the small stones on the shore of the Nen Hithoel Lake. Gimli gets off the boat first, all clumsy and funny of course; Legolas quickly gets off too, so when you lift your head up you see his pale hand offering you help, you grab it and lift your feet one by one to get off the boat as you smile at him, he also smiles as he risks a few caresses to your hand because he saw the sudden opportunity, you let go off his hand slowly. it almost looked like both of your hands were stuck with glue, your fingers traced down his palm until letting go.

After a few minutes, all the group is already settled, and after you help Gimli find some wood, you both light up a fire. You and Legolas are now by the shore again, playing with the little stones and sharing a moment in silence, every one and then you share looks with smiley eyes, your arms are touching from how close you are to each other.

"I have an idea to kill some time," you say to Legolas as you look at the lake while you get up.

You brush all the sand and pebbles that stick to your clothes and palms, and you look down at him playfully as you smile. As a next move, you start unbuttoning your clothes and taking off your skirt, receiving some shy glances from the elven boy. You are left with nothing but your white matching underwear that has a little white bow in the middle of both the bra and panties, a subtle detail that made Legolas' heart skip a beat. You walk towards the lake, giving your back to it while you smile at Legolas as you move your hands back and forth for him to notice that you are telling him to come and join you.

The cold water starts to cover your calves, you turn around to go further in the water, the water gets to your knees, and finally above your belly button; with your arms you swing the water around you from front to back as you watch Legolas take off his clothes quickly and smiling through the suffer as the cold water starts freezing his legs, you laugh at the sight of him, with his arms standing in the air trying to not touch the water, while he looks at it and at you multiple times.

Now, the water touches his elbow as he reaches the same depth that you are in. You have to move your legs and arms slightly to float, while he, because of his height, can almost touch the bottom of the lake. You smile at him, and you let your head fall so you wet your hair completely. He just watches you carefully. You straight up again and playfully swing your arms to splash him and get him wet. You do this and swim faster in the opposite direction while laughing out loud. Little by little, without noticing you end up leaving a distance between the two of you, you stop swimming to face him again from a distance you watch each other now, time seems to stop. lost in each others eyes

sinking motor and more into these unspoken feelings, the tension builds as neither of you seem to not want to stop looking at each other, your heart pounds loud in your ears.

little waves come to you as he starts to swim in your direction. He stops as he feels his knee brush yours down the surface

You don't let your eyes lose his fixated gaze for one second doesn't either. As the stares deepen and he brushes his fingers with yours to hold your hand. You came to the conclusion that no one ever looked at you the way he's doing so, his eyes were filled with love, but you know for a fact that yours are too.

Time has passed since you entered the water. Now is the moment where the sun and the moon meet for a second time, and you couldn't be closer to each other.

You can feel the heat that erupts from his torso and how it keeps you warm from the coldness of the water.

He raises his hand suddenly and gets it closer to your face. He grabs a strain of wet

hair that is covering one of your eyes and tucks it behind his car. His hand doesn't leave your face but now cups your ear between his fingers, his thumb hesitates but ends up gently brushing your lips from one to the other, he watches as they are tinted in a purple tone because of the temperature that surrounds you both, and in this moment you notice that no words were spoken at all, not one time you pronounced a word.

But none of you needed words for as your soft touch spoke louder.

As he keeps his thumb on your lips, you part them slightly. He looks at you in the eyes, and then at your lips, you do the same.

He brings his other hand from beneath the water and cups the other side of your face to finally break the only centimeters that were between you two.

Like a delicate string that was waiting to be Cut.

His lips are soft, as you always imagined. those times that you secretly directed your gaze at them; thin and with a beautiful hint of rose pink, it drives you crazy the way they curve when he speaks elvish with Aragorn or how they widen when he smiles at you.

A kiss filled with passion, love , but also a very sweet and gentle one. You place your hand on his chest, which catches him out of guard, and makes the kiss change its rhythm. You start tracing a lime between his pectorals and down his abs. You stop there, and he slowly separates his lips from you. You both smile as you hug him tightly, your jump to his embrace with your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, you laugh and he grabs your waist to maintain this position, but you had other plans in mind, you give him a devilish smile before you let your body fall back into the water, sinking you both and making your teeth chatter from the cold, Legolas goes back up, his hair fully wet and sticked to his face. You both laugh out loud, and he playfully grabs you and starts tickling your sides till you cry from laughter. He stops as he seems to already have got his revenge , you both keep laughing and placing constant kisses on the lips and body of the other.

The stars paint the sky, and the moon

watches from above

"Hey, lovebirds! You should eat and rest, tomorrow an adventure awaits!" Gimli is heard from across the river, you both look while still hugging each other.

You and Legolas chuckle at Gimli's way to call you both, you are sure that they were all watching you both kiss and play in the water.

You get to the shore and start dressing. As you put your shoes and the necklace Galadriel gave you, you look up and see Legolas putting his pants back on, you both smile and he gets closer, pecking you in the lips making you blush and giggle.

You both go where the rest of the fellowship is. They are already eating the rabbits you catch earlier

"Here they are the lovebirds" Gimli teases again

I hope you saved us some meat because I'm starving!" You say and laugh as you take a seat next to Aragorn, Legolas sits next to you. You feel Legolas's arm pass behind your back and high fives Aragorn's hand behind you, you silent chuckle by the boys actions

You lay your head on Legolas's shoulder, and he looks at you and gives you a little kiss on the head. You smile, you are so happy that this day is going and ending this way, better than you could ever imagine

Thank you for reading!

[torchwood-99]

LOTR Cast and Horror Films Headcanons

Gandalf: Finds horror films boring, only because they’ve yet to make one that can scare him. His friends are on a never ending crusade to find a horror flick, whether it be gory, ghostly, psychological or just plain sick, that will scare him, but nothing leaves an impact. The closest any film got to succeeding was The Human Centipede, and even there he was just mildly grossed out by. He does like to watch art house, avant garde horror, preferably made in black and white, and watch them while getting high.

Aragorn: Loves a wilderness horror, or one set in extreme environments, like The Thing. He’s hard to scare, and will happily watch The Blair Witch Project the night before going on a two week camping trip. Is the one to keep reminding everyone else “it’s only fiction, it’s only fiction.”

Sam: No. Just doesn’t do them. Is the one with his eyes shut, asking “is it over yet?”. His friends mildly tease him for it, not because he’s afraid, but because he’s the first one through the door when someone’s in trouble, whatever the danger, but is too spooked to watch a scary film. Sam explains  will be brave when he has to be. He doesn’t choose to be brave for fun. 

Frodo: Doesn’t watch horrors all that much because he knows Sam doesn’t like them, and would rather watch something they can all enjoy. Has no particular objections to horrors in themselves, and can appreciate a well made horror, but has a dislike for Friday the 13th and Halloween, as he’s got a thing about cursed dates. 

Merry & Pippin: Talk a big game, have all the memorabilia, insist on watching the goriest, grizzliest, nastiest films going. Spend the entire time with their eyes shut, and have to sleep with the lights on afterwards. Spend a bloody fortune on snacks at the cinema.

Boromir: Insists on having Merry and Pippin sit on either side of him, so he can wrap his arms around them. Is the one who annoys everyone else by pointing out all the mistakes the heroes make. His favourite horror moment is the chainsaw hand in The Evil Dead. 

Legolas: Turns his nose up at “pop” horror. Insists that “elevated” horror films aren’t really horror, like, they’re “horror” but they’re not “horror horror”, and feels the need to justify his love for any horror film by talking about its sophisticated themes and motifs. Gets a lot of popcorn and cushions thrown at him. 

Gimli: Likes a good slasher, especially if there are axes involved, but any sort of tool turned weapon will do. Is an unashamed horror fan and is the first to knock Legolas off his “elevated” horror high horse. Makes his own horror prop replicas, and is big into cosplay. 

Faramir: Not the biggest fan of the films himself. They don’t scare him to the same extent they do Sam, but he doesn’t find them pleasant to watch. He’s into old black and white romances, biographical movies, adaptations of classic novels (though he will spend the entire time picking out the inaccuracies) and yes, the odd musical. However, he does have a soft spot for films with badass final girls. Will sit through all night slasher gore fests to make Eowyn happy.

Eowyn: Loves them. Loves them, loves them, loves them. Has always loved them and always will. Was the one to watch way too mature horrors behind Theoden’s back as a little girl. If Eomer had a sleepover she’d watch through a crack in his bedroom door, and if there was something showing at the cinema she’d get in by buying tickets to a kid’s film. Sometimes had to get into Theodred’s bed if a film gave her nightmares, but never admitted it was because she was scared. (Theodred knew, but he’d play along.)

As an adult, like Merry and Pippin, she talks a big game. Unlike Merry and Pippin, she lives up to it. The gorier, the better. She watches the final girls at the climax, drenched in blood and screaming, going at their tormentors with a kitchen knife, and thinks “God I wish that was me”. One anniversary, Faramir surprised her by coming to bed in the Jason mask and nothing else.

That said, the more psychological horrors, horrors in domestic settings or focussing on mental health and dysfunctional families (like Hereditary and Smile) really get to her, and she will only watch them with Faramir next to her, and has to watch something funny afterwards as a palate cleanser. 

Eomer: Can’t be arsed with “elevated” horror, calls it slow, pretentious bullshit. Thinks a horror is a copout if there isn’t an explosion of blood and guts in the first five minutes. Gets into constant arguments with Legolas over this, to the point they can go weeks refusing to be in the same room as each other. As a kid was stricter than Theoden about keeping Eowyn from watching scary films, was a bit out out when he found out that Eowyn had a stronger stomach for gore than he did.

Arwen: Isn’t fazed in the slightest. Can watch that scene in The Human Centipede without blinking, then get herself a bowl of chocolate pudding and ask if anyone else wants some. 

[onestevetogo]

Lord of the Abridged: Tower Power

Frodo - I miss Gandalf.

Sam - I am a packmule.

Gollum - I have somehow hunted the ring better than nine wraith assassins.

Frodo - I hate this ring.

Gollum - Gimme the ring!

Frodo - I’ll give you the Sting.

Gollum - Oh no.

Frodo - Gollum, lead us to Mordor.

Gollum - That’s a terrible idea.

Sam - That’s a terrible idea.

Frodo - This is a great idea.

Orcs - We’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Pippin - I want some nice crispy bacon.

Merry - I am sick.

Orcs - Here’s a homemade family recipe.

Merry - yucky.

Oruk - You’re yucky :(

Oruk - wait…

Oruk - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - They noticed my manflesh.

Gimli - This distance is physically twice for me as it is for everyone else. #DurinsFolkStruggles

Legolas - They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Saruman - Nothing could possibly go wrong with the arrangement I have with my new best friend Sauron.

Sauron - I don’t know who that weird goth dude is but keep him a good ten feet from me.

Orcs - We demand rest!

Oruk - Damn unions.

Orcs - We demand good food!

Oruk - Let them eat cake.

Dave - I want to take a bite of a hobbit! A hobbite!

Oruk - Scum! *killing noises*

Dave - *getting killed noises*

Orcs - We demand Dave!

Oruk - You drive a hard bargain.

Merry - Crawly crawly.

Pippin - Sneaky sneaky.

Dave’s cousin also named Dave - I demand a hobbite!

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act?

Orcs - *Dies*

Oruk - *Dies*

Hobbits - Cliffhanger!

Aragorn - We’ve been running all night.

Legolas - Man, I’d love to see a play.

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act? All it needs is a dead dwarf.

Legolas - How dare you threaten the life of my best buddy in the whole wide world!

Aragorn - …

Rohirrim -…

The horses - …

Gimli -…

Aragorn - Have you seen some orcs? They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.

Eomer - They’re dead. Dead as hell. If your kids were there, they’re dead too. We can’t tell the difference.

Aragorn - oh shit.

Legolas - oh shit.

Gimli - oh shit.

Witch king - *stubbed toe screeching*

Frodo - Oh no! It’s Mister Stabby!

Gollum - It’s cool. They suck at their jobs.

Witch king - *Screeches elsewhere*

Gollum - Don’t follow the lights.

Frodo - You’re not my mom.

Ghosts - Hey little halfling. Want some candy?

Frodo - I love candy!

Ghosts - Hahaha! It wasn’t candy at all!

Frodo - *Ghostly drowning noises*

Gollum - What did I just say?

Merry - Is Dave still chasing us?

Pippin - DAVE, ARE YOU STILL CHASING US?!?!

Merry - wtf, Pippin?

Dave - I’m still chasing you!

Treebeard - Gimme the hobbits.

Dave - *Roadkill noises*

Treebeard - I’m a tree with a beard! Guess my name!

Merry -…

Pippin - Dave?

Aragorn - Where’s the hobbits?

Gimli - I found a dead orc!

Aragorn - That’s not a hobbits!

Legolas - Ew don’t touch it.

Gandalf - I’m gonna scare the shit out of these three.

Gandalf - *Lightshow*

Aragorn - Holy shit!

Legolas - Holy shit!

Gimli - Holy shit!

Gandalf - Lmao. Let’s go to Rohan.

Theoden - mnmmnbnbmmmm.

Grima - He says he doesn’t like you.

Gandalf - Theoden? More like Theodumb.

Theodumb - bffbmmnm.

Grima - He says your shoes are raggedy and your staff looks like a pleasurable instrument.

Gandalf - wizardwhocantgetlaidsayswhat

Sarumon - What?

Gandalf - Lmao.

Saruman - PAIN!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Saruman - Egad!

Theoden - *Grasps his killing stick* I’m Theodone.

Grima - I’m Theodead.

Sarumon - If he wants pain, I’ll show him some pain.

Grima - How?

Sarumon - I’ve grown several thousand muscular, voracious hunks who will do anything I tell them.

Grima - Good for fighting?

Sarumon - …

Grima - For fighting, right?

Theoden - Let’s go to Helm’s Deep.

Aragorn - Yes, nothing could go wrong.

Gandalf - Deuces.

Gimli - I’ve had like five lines and zero agency in this movie so far.

Legolas - It’s hard being a princess. ✨✨

Aragorn - Hey you’re pretty good with that sword.

Eowyn - I will literally have your child right here in this hallway.

Legolas - :O

Gimli - :O

Sméagol - :O

Sarumon - :O

Morgoth - :O

Eru Illuvitar - :O

Tom Bombadil - :O

That one orc head on a spear - :O

Anyone with half a brain cell - :O

Aragorn - She seems nice.

Gollum - *Having a meltdown*

Gollum.exe has stopped working.

Gollum - Rebooting.

Sméagol - Sméagol.exe.

Sméagol - …

Sméagol - It’s wabbit season.

Orcs - We’re a traveling band! Wanna hear our latest single “Omnom”?

Rohan Soldiers - “Omnom”?

Wargs - Omnomnomnom!

Soldiers - *Fighting*

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *To orc Uber* I will pay you to throw me off this cliff.

Orc taxi - A dollar’s a dollar!

Aragorn - *Flying king noises*

Sméagol - It’s fish season.

Gondorites - It’s little gremlin season.

Frodo - Hol up. He’s a little weird but he’s aight.

Faramir - I was going to kill you but didn’t. There’s no other information I can offer here that could improve future events.

Sméagol - *Dramatically* I’ve been betrayed!

Faramir - Tell me what I want to know.

Sméagol - Gollum.exe

Merry - Take the hobbits to Isengard!

Treebeard - No.

Merry - Aw man.

Treebeard - What’s this? Deforestation?! HRAGBLAGMIMGONNAKILLTHATLITTLESHIT!

Merry - Yay!

Treebeard - We all might die but that’s okay!

Merry - Y…yay?

Aragorn - *Dramatic Entrance*

Eowyn. - Take me right here.

Aragorn - Orcs.

Theoden - Orcs?!

Gimli - These are Uruk Hai!

Uruk - Uruk hi!

Theoden - So it begins.

It - *beginning*

Gimli - Two already!

Legolas - I’m on seventeen!

Gimli - That’s not fair fighting!

Legolas - :)

Gimli - Fighting, right?

5 days later:

Theoden - This is too much fighting!

Aragorn - Let’s fight some more.

Theoden - Sounds good bestie!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Eomer - PAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

Gandalf - Oh shit.

Orcs - Oh shit.

Treebeard - Orc mush! Mush orc!

Treesbeard - Reverse veganism!

Sarumon - Sauron pick me up I’m scared

Legolas - We’re alive!

Soldiers - We’re alive!

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *hiding king noises*

Gandalf - That was close.

Frodo - Something just happened.

Faramir - Run little child thing. Be free.

Hobbits - *Scampering off*

Faramir - I feel like there’s something I forgot to do.

Later :

Gollum - I’m gonna murder these hobbits.

Credits

[aislingeach88]

Watching LOTR at 15: Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are the heroes, they kill all the bad guys!

Watching LOTR at 21: Samwise is the REAL hero, everything would have fallen apart without him, he literally CARRIES Frodo to the volcano!

Watching LOTR at 30: Frodo is the real hero, because his volunteering to take the ring to Mordor is the single bravest act in the entire trilogy. Maybe even all of Middle-Earth. No one else could have done it. No one else could have even come close.

Watching LOTR now: no, every single member of the Fellowship, and Elrond, and Arwen, and Galadriel, Theoden, Eomer, Faramir, Eowyn, everyone, right down to Haleth and his rusted sword, they’re all the real heroes, because resisting tyranny and oppression is not possible without a sustained collective effort from every person brave enough to risk their lives for the freedom of all.

[kitkatt0430]

Merry's tone as he says 'my lady' after Eowyn scoops him up to share her horse... she's totally his favorite now.

Everyone else? Leaves him behind, tells him no. But Eowyn is just like 'lets go into battle and kick ass together, my friend.'

Meanwhile Gimli is attempting to blow away ghosts like dust. It's hilarious.

[weasel717]

Lotr isn't about hope or love or friendship or any of that shit. It's about a little guy who gets broken mind body and spirit by the relentless cruelty of the world around him while everyone he meets, even the people who are nice to him, misunderstand and (unintentionally) mock him by insisting that everything will be fine. He wasn't fine. Everybody else got a happy ending but him. Sam went home to his family, Merry and Pippin went on to be nepo babies, Aragorn got a kingdom and a hot elf wife, Faramir and Eowyn were married, Legolas and Gimli eloped, Gandalf got to go home in a sense too. Even old Bilbo got a pretty nice deal. But Frodo lost everything. Home, friends, comfort, joy, personality, a finger. He was broken so entirely Tolkien had to pull multiple deus ex machinas to make his end anything besides death. He took all the evil on Earth into him and broke himself completely.

[wisheduponastar]

Lord of the Rings - The Bachelorette AU

tumblr, here my shower thoughts au ramble.

we have Éowyn as the bachelorette (and of course she eventually ends up with Faramir). we also have the cast try and earn her affections. also everyone is human here as it's a modern universe

more under the cut...

hosted by... gandalf? or co-hosted by gandalf and someone else.

as our other notable *good choices* contestants we have; aragorn (for the dramatic plot-line of her being in love with him and him realising he doesn't want this), boromir (why not), merry (we need them to become besties somehow), maybe pippin, bilbo (sue me he'd be fun), legolas, gimli, lindir, haldir, one or both of the twins (elrohir as the only naturally flirty one or elladan as the charming-quiet-boy competition), and potentially another of the ithilien rangers.

(it would be Beregond - but Beregond is clearly the camera-man/off-stage helper who is wingmaning Faramir the entire time).

now for our bad choice contestants; sauron (fight me it'd be funny), grima (for the drama), saruman (again, for the fun & drama), one or two of the uruks

throughout the series we follow eowyn making her difficult choices, including the producers trying to keep some of the cast on for drama reasons and the others banding against it and for her.

BONUSES FOR OTHER CHARACTERS/THEIR MOTIVATIONS :

Faramir : Is here because Denethor wanted Boromir to be on the show but wasn't specific about which son

Boromir : Is here because Denethor wanted Boromir to be on the show, eventually falls in love with Aragorn

Éomer : The winner of last years Bachelor

Aragorn : Broke up with Arwen and decided why not. comes to the realisation he's gay throughout the production.

[arokel]

TBITB LOTR AU (that will never happen)

because @teaforarteza said the words "lotr au" and, well. there are nine of them.

we worked out a casting and nothing else, but if anyone has additional thoughts please feel free to suggest/argue/take inspiration :>

Roger as Gandalf: man of few words (in the book), bow seat = deftly guiding the shell (group), very good techninique in both rowing and studying the arts of the sacred flame etc etc

The Nine Walkers

(obviously this is a boromir lives au because how could i possibly kill any of them)

Joe as Aragorn: very caring and concerned about the welfare of others, motivated by a deep and abiding love, complicated parentage, closely attuned to the needs and movements of the ring bearer

Bobby as Boromir: fiercely loyal, skilled commander and strategist (sometimes in a cold-blooded fashion), used to getting his way

Johnny as Legolas: rich kid/from a noble lineage, a bit high and mighty ("it was foul"), in tune with nature

Gordy as Gimli: down to earth (aka from a dairy farm), slowly becomes great pals with Legolas/Johnny, very stoic and calm in bloody situations

Jim as Merry: a worrier (especially about his best buddy Chuck) and a planner, *slightly* taller than Pippin/Chuck, often takes others under his wing

Chuck as Pippin: the comedic heart of the group, doesn't always think before he speaks, smokes a lot, often hits on the solution somehow anyway

Shorty as Sam: supportive and loyal (got your back etc), often overlooked, sweet and a little naive (as the youngest)

Don as Frodo: the linchpin of the group, carries a burden (lung issues), is following a path not his own but everyone else follows him, possesses a quiet strength

With supporting cast as follows:

Ulbrickson as Elrond: sets the nine on their quest and keeps an eye on them

Joyce as Arwen: obviously

Royal Brougham as Bilbo: writing his book and hanging out with Ulbrickson

Pocock as Galadriel: wise and knowing, provides the nine with things they need for their quest

Bolles as Celeborn: idk someone has to be

Ebright as Theoden: rival kingdom but an ally in the end

Coy as Eowyn: would like his chance to prove himself, crush on Joe(??)

Morry as Faramir: cox solidarity with Bobby/Boromir

That guy from USRowing as Denethor: tries to block their way because he feels his hands are tied

??? as Saruman: help please??

Gollum as himself

[sonxofxgondor]

Anonymous asked: *gives Boromir four (4) golden retriever puppies*

Celebration lasted for day after day. White flower petals washed over the lands once dry and miserable, grasses grew and trees found again their leaves. Aragorn was crowned, the people of Gondor were safe, and Boromir was happy. Scarred from arrows that would have seen him meet the end - from torso on either side and deeply penetrated - but alive still. Sauron was defeated. Frodo, wonderful and brave, had done just as was promised by he. Casted the One Ring into fire - witnessed flame and ash firsthand - destroyed what had tormented so many. What had gotten the better of Boromir; turned him into a beast of madness rather than loyal member of the Fellowship.

Surrounded by Frodo and the good little Hobbits, watching as Faramir looked in love at Eowyn, settled beneath the shade of an old tree, relief and delicious food satisfied Boromir. Mouth stuffed with the deliciousness of Gondor - smoked meats and finely sliced cheese cubes - an afternoon of festivities that Boromir did not wish to end. Was perfectly content to live within that world for the rest of his days, was startled out of his newest happiness by the weight, and wet kisses, of four fuzzy friends.

"Oh! Be still, hounds of war! Have mercy!" Boromir laughed as he fell over backward, entire plate of snacks knocked from his hand, scattered across the ground in a fast fling.

Back pinned firmly by the force of the pups, both hands, empty, roamed over coats of golden sunlight, soft pats that started at the shoulders and worked southward to the base of their tails.

"By the gods, never have I met such spirited pups before! Come, come, settle for me, my adorable companions. Pardon me, my friend! I hope you can forgive me for my lack of formality here! I would've braced myself better had I known you were giving me such a gift! Is it safe to assume that they are mine to keep? Truly, I would be broken hearted if you said otherwise! I absolutely love dogs!"

Fighting against the wagging tails and sloppy tongue kisses, Boromir found his seating again, fixed himself into a straightened position, smiled wide as he fixed his hair that was thrown all about around his head.

"Please, friend. Won't you sit with me? Perhaps these pups would be a little more settled with two of us around? Two hands for two puppies. You take two, I'll take two. How did you find such sweet things? Rascals, they are. I think the celebrations have excited them just as much as everyone else in the kingdom! Gondor has been restored to her glory! Aragorn has been crowned rightful king! This is a time of celebration and feast. It is time we party! Here, friend. Share with me a sip of this ale. It has not yet been kicked about by the puppies. It is good and hearty! Quickly, before Gimli drinks it all! Our dear Dwarf has nearly gone through the whole barrel by himself!"

[spinningalbinoturtle]

Lotr characters and their dogs (and other pets)

Frodo

Canonically not a dog person but also just has cat person vibes

He has two cats one of them is a chubby gray kitty named Luthien and she is incredibly spoiled. A birthday present from Bilbo

His other cat is a stray who hates everyone but Frodo- its super scrangly and Sam calls it Gollum and it stuck

After the Quest Frodo gets a little beagle service dog that helps him with PTSD and other medical stuff

Sam

Pre Quest had an old basset hound named Fingon. His dad said they didn’t have room for it but Sam insisted on feeding it and when he moved in with Frodo it came along.

Post quest he has a border collie named Ellie (short for Galadriel) who helps him replant the shire

He also keeps chickens at Bag End and spoils them a bit. They are just for eggs

Also has a little dairy cow for fresh milk. Her name is Bell after his mom

Merry

The Brandybucks have a pack of mastiffs and they love Merry. Frodo is terrified of them

They also have several feral maine coones that lounge around their manor and also love Merry but hate everyone else

Has a full size horse post quest which he is very proud of and scares the other hobbits. Its name is Theoden

Pippin

Lets be honest with ourselves Pippin has a lab who has the exact same personality as him and they go everywhere together. Its name is something really basic like Buddy

He also keeps turtles and has a whole menagerie for them. They’re all named after different foods

Aragorn

Aragorn has a husky/malamute that he found on his travels north. He howls back and forth with it and is convinced he can understand it. When he becomes king it sits at the foot of his throne and occasionally will randomly howl in the middle of a meeting.

Horse girl all the way. Brego is his bestie. Man takes excellent care of his horse and buys all kinds of extraneous shit for it.

Boromir

Denethor has a pack of vicious looking dogs but Boromir has a Dalmatian that loves him so much

Faramir adopts it for a while after Boromir dies but Faramir is much more of a cat person, so ultimately its adopted by Aragorn and becomes mates with his husky. The puppies go to his and Arwens kids

Legolas

This could go one of two ways-either he has a super graceful hunting dog like a greyhound or whippet or he has a little pomeranian he dresses up and treats like a baby

He has tried to domesticate the spiders with little success maybe because he’s also killed a lot of them

Gimli

Gimli is a terrier person. He has a little Scottish terrier who sits on his lap all the time when he’s working. Gimli made it a little sweater and it hates Legolas (its jealous of Legolas stealing Gimli’s attention).

He also keeps canaries and they are very well cared for and all have names and he’s the only one who can tell them apart

Eowyn

Has a massive Rottweiler who is super intimidating to everyone except Eowyn. It has bitten Grima multiple times. Around Eowyn it acts like a little puppy.

She also loves her horse as all Rohirrim do.

I could also see her as raising ferrets or chinchilas as well

Faramir

Firmly a cat person

Doesn’t mind dogs but vastly prefers cats

Has six of them and they’re all rescues. Their names are : Mithrandir, Radagast, Varda, Melian, Beren, and Pippin.

Eowyn indulges her crazy cat husband even when their house is overrun with kittens

Arwen

Also firmly a cat person

She’s fine Aragorn’s dog but that’s just cause its well trained

Usually just has one or two cats at a time. They’re a special breed from Lothlorien and they’re really beautiful. They like to sit on her lap and purr. They’re also vicious mousers.

Eomer

Has a big great dane who hangs out in Edoras. Its super sweet and dorky. Everyone loves it.

[heyclickadee]

Fandom Ask:

The Lord of the Rings OR Pokémon

Thank you so much for the ask! I’m sorry it took me forever to answer it, though. And between The Lord of the Rings and Pokémon, I think I’ll go with The Lord of the Rings. (I love Pokémon, but I’ve been really out of the loop with it for a long time.) So!

The first character I first fell in love with: In the books? Gandalf. He’s so cantankerous, I love it. In the films? Probably also Gandalf, if I’m honest.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: In the books? Frodo. Little eleven-year-old me didn’t really get Frodo when I read the books for the first time. I didn’t dislike him, exactly, but I didn’t get him. In fact, the first time I got through the chapter where Frodo claims the Ring, I was so upset that I put the book down and didn’t pick it up again for a couple weeks. And back then? That was weird for me. But I did eventually finish the book, and when I re-read the LOTR about a year later, Frodo’s whole thing started to click, and I started to really like him. And now, reading it as an adult, I get it, I really do.

In the films? Boromir. Again, I never disliked him, but a lot of the fanon on this website has created a special place in my heart for movie Boromir.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: In the books? I don’t know if I have one. I don’t really hate any of the characters as characters. In the films? Legolas.

The character I love that everyone else hates: In the books? Okay, so, if we’re using “character I love” here to mean “character I love as a CHARACTER because they’re interesting and play a vital role in the story,” and not, “character I love as a person,” then it’s Denethor. Because, mean—Book Denethor is awful. He’s not exactly the same as in the films, but he’s awful in an equally bad way (and still the winner of the worst father of the year middle earth award). But he’s also pitiable, and really, really interesting.

In the films: Soooo…okay, this isn’t the PJ films, it’s in Rings of Power; and it’s not even the Lord of the Rings, strictly speaking, and there are elements of the Harfoot plot line I think are a little uneven, but I love Nori Brandyfoot. And Poppy Proudfellow. I’m sorry, I’ve adopted them.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: In the books? I don’t think I have one. In the films? I do have one (Pippin) but it’s honestly not fair to the character in the film, because the film is doing a different thing, and that’s okay.

The character I would totally smooch: In the books? I’m undecided on the merits of smooching, but I would definitely platonically kiss Frodo on the forehead. And. Like. Straight up marry about half of the rest of the cast. In the films? Pretty much the same.

The character I’d want to be like: In the books? Faramir. Also maybe Ioreth. Being a gossipy old lady seems fun. In the films? Definitely not Faramir.

The character I’d slap: In the books? There are so many, but Lotho Sackville-Baggins most of all. In the films? Denethor.

A pairing that I love: In the books? I’ll admit I’m partial to Faramir and Eowyn. In the films? I don’t really actively ship it, but the fanart/fanon/kinda canon around Legolas and Gimli is all fantastic.

A pairing that I despise: In the books? I don’t have one. This is one property where I really don’t ship any of the fan ships, but I still think they’re fun, even if I don’t ship them. I’m sure there’s one that I’d really dislike, but I’m not involved enough in the LOTR fan community to know about it. In the films? Soooo…okay, I know that Peter Jackson was between a rock and a hard place here, because Arwen has near-terminal “not appearing in this picture” disease in the books (she was created fairly late in the game was far as writing went; there’s a chance that if she was created earlier, she would’ve been a lot more active and involved in a Luthien-kind-of-way, buuuut we’ll never know) and he still had to figure out a way to communicate that she and Aragorn have a relationship so it doesn’t come out of nowhere when they get married at the end, and he didn’t exactly have the benefit of an appendix at the end of the film, but. Man. I. Don’t love the execution here with Arwen and Aragorn. Pretty much at all.