#and god knowing how far back this crowd went and stayed just as dense

[rmisthecure]

pairing: college!namjoon x gn!reader

summary: reader has a pretty good memory until it comes to namjoon. they start to reminisce about their friendship and end up getting really — and i mean really — emotional.

warnings: fluff, implied friends to lovers, lots of crying, namjoon being awfully cute to reader, namjoon calls reader pretty, it gets kinda angsty if you squint a little lol.

wc: 1,7k

You liked to think you had a pretty good memory. Even a photographic one, if you squinted hard enough. You had no problems in memorizing a presentation for your class or dozens of formulas before a test, but when it came to Namjoon, your mind was as blank as the canvases he got from the tiny shop across from your apartment complex.

You don’t even know how you became friends for fuck’s sake. You do know, however, that the both of you met on junior year of high school.

Namjoon was never a social butterfly — he knew how to interact with people, and could easily maintain a conversation with anyone in a crowded room, but parties were never his scene. He’d rather stay in or go to an exposition, which is something the both of you had done countless times during the years of your friendship. His friends, though, were always talking his ear off on how he should go out more, and eventually, that lead him to you.

You couldn’t pinpoint how or when, but it was mid December when you realized that Namjoon wasn’t a background character anymore. He was always by your side. At some point you even started to wonder whether you had forced your friendship onto him or not, since you couldn’t recall how the both of you became friends.

And as the years passed by you could tell that he wasn’t just a friend anymore. Even the term best friend couldn’t describe what you felt for him and how much he meant to you.

The both of you were attached to the hip, wherever one of you went the other was not too far behind. Everyone knew that. And everyone knew how much you meant to him.

Ever since day one all of them could see it in his eyes and through his actions that you had always been a little different. He went from barely going out to going everywhere just with a couple of words from you. Thus, he could never say ‘no’ to you. It’s like you had him wrapped around your little finger and didn’t even realize it.

What they didn’t know, though, was that Namjoon had his ways around you, too. He knew exactly what to do to make you fold, to make you give in; what to do to get exactly what he wanted, and you didn’t even mind it. You were, in fact, glad to do it.

But was it really your fault? When Namjoon was the one who was always taking such good care of you, giving you such warm hugs, making you food when you were sick, advising you when you were crying, picking you up in the middle of the night when you went clubbing, taking your makeup off before you fell asleep, rubbing your back and holding your head while you puked on the toilet, holding your hand when you were nervous, making you laugh when you were sad. How could you not want him around at all times when you felt so… safe around him. So free. So good.

It took you five years to realize that the voice in your head only screamed Namjoon, Namjoon, Joon, Joon, Joonie, Kim Namjoon, Namjoonie all day. 24/7 he was not only inside your head, but by your side too. You were always at his place and vice versa, he was sitting beside you in class, going to the movies with you, getting dragged to parties by your side, going to family meetings. Everything.

And as you stare at him, right now, sitting so comfortably on the driver’s seat with a silly smile on his face and dimples on full display you want to tell him how much you love him. How pretty he looks. How you want him to keep doing that for the rest of your life, just sitting by your side.

You used to think you had a good memory, a great one, even, but God, why on earth can’t you recall the moment where he became this? How dense can you be to not realize that something had changed, that you couldn’t not think of him.

When did he become this person? When did you realize that the only thing you could feel when you thought of him was love? So much love. You looked at him and all you could think of was I love you, I love you, how can such a great person be my friend? Thank you for never giving up on me. I love you. You’re my home. God, when did you do that to me? When did you turn me into a sappy mess?

You don’t even realize you’re crying until his peaceful expression turns into a desperate one and he starts asking what happened and if you’re okay. You can’t do anything but sob when he awkwardly hugs you over the gear stick, telling him that you are. That you are so happy and thankful for him. Thank you for being my home, you want to say. For seeing the bad things in me and not leaving like other people did. For being my best friend– no fuck that. For being the family I never had. For believing in me. The words are all bunched up and stuck in your throat, forming a knot that restrains you from breathing.

The hiccups start to form and you start to hyperventilate as Namjoon hugs you tighter and asks why what he can do to help. How do you tell him, explain to him that he happened. He got into your life and fixed everything and helped you and made you feel good and happy.

You try to calm down but it seems like your body just shuts down and stops listening to you. You try to untangle yourself from him and he gets the hint, letting you go, sliding off your navy beanie and immediately turning the heat of the car on a higher setting. Snow is falling outside and he carefully takes off the puffer jacket you have on, throws it in the backseat and smooths your hair out, sliding his palms over the sides of your face until they meet your cheeks and find their place over your jaw, like they always belonged there, making you look at him.

He connects his eyes to yours and breathes deeply, trying to communicate in a non-verbal way; you get the message. You try to copy his actions and your breathing comes out jagged, but he keeps inhaling and exhaling slowly, showing you exactly what to do, not letting you go. After 10 minutes (or more?) your breathing goes back to normal and the car’s windows are fogged, tiny hiccups leaving your mouth at times. You feel sleepy and Namjoon’s hands have made their way back up to your hair again, now lightly scratching your scalp.

You give him a reassuring — but not so reassuring — nod before he lets go of your face, you immediately lurching for his upper body, wrapping your arms around his neck like he did earlier. The position is uncomfortable and awkward but when he wraps his arms around your middle and you feel the heat emanating from his body through the many layers of clothing you’re both wearing, it’s worth it. He ghosts a kiss on your temple that makes your heart clench painfully, slowly rubbing his hands on your back in a comforting way. “Feelin’ better?” his deep voice quietly mumbles against your hair. Yours comes out a little hoarse when you answer him with a timid “A little,” and now it’s his heart’s turn to clench painfully.

Carefully rummaging through his mind looking for the right thing to say he slides his hands towards your waist and buries his head in the junction of your shoulder and neck, mumbling the words you’re now feeling against your neck “C’mon pretty. Let’s get you home, yeah?” to which you answer by just nodding your head negatively. I am home you want to say.

“‘M already home, Joon.” you shyly answer and it’s your turn to hide your face on his neck. The arms wrapped around your waist hug you tighter, slightly pulling you in, urging you to jump to the other seat. Namjoon removes his face — flushed in a pretty shade of pink — from your neck and searches for your eyes as he pulls you in again, asking for permission, to which you grant with a small nod. After being given the green sign he rears his seat back, leaving a bigger space between his body and the steering wheel; then he twists your middle, now only having his left arm around you, and goes forward for your legs, hooking an arm around them and pulling you to sit on his lap bridal style.

Lifting your head from his shoulder you look at him with puffy lips and smudged mascara. He cradles your face with one hand and you instinctively rest your cheek against his palm and close your eyes; his other hand lightly traces your features: eyebrows, lips, nose, the line of mascara running down your cheeks; it all feels awfully intimate. It gives you a warm feeling inside your tummy. “So you’re already home, huh?” he asks lightheartedly and you giggle a little. “Good thing I’m home, too.” he softly admits and you feel your face heat up a little.

He calls your name and the way he says it so fondly, laced with an emotion you can’t quite recognize yet, makes you open your eyes. He smiles, dimples on display once again, and locks his eyes with yours as he gives in. “I love you.”

You see it in his eyes that he means it. “I love you too, Joon.” but this time it feels different for the both of you. Your heart should be racing right now but it’s not, and it’s because of him. If it were anyone else you’d be freaking out but it’s not. It’s Namjoon, your Namjoon, and he has a way of calming you down in every situation, and this time is no different.

He touches his forehead to yours and you both take a deep breath. You are home, you think; and you know he’s thinking it, too.

You may have memory problems when it comes to Namjoon, but this is moment is definitely one you won’t forget.

A/N: tysm for reading! it was my first time writing and english isn’t my first language so excuse me for any mistakes i may have made. hopefully you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing them <3 reblogs and likes are v much appreciated!!

[rebeccccccaaa]

ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ _____________________

ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ’s!ʙᴇsᴛ!ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs ᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You and Buck have always been close growing up but you two soon learn that the line that separates friendly and flirting is a lot thinner than you think.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: fluff, slight angst bc u got a shit bf, big bro vibes from bucky, smut duh [18+ minors dni (slight praise but also slight degradation, marking, belly bulge, squirting, fem!rec oral, unprotected sex, plz be safe irl, slight choking, pet names: darling&princess, i think that’s it lmk plz)]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hey assholes i'm back for the time being lol. I have a few ideas and fics I'm currently writing right now so do not fret.

______________________________________

You knew this was a horrible idea. 

It’s Saturday night and you and your boyfriend were back in another night club after being kicked out from one just hours before. Daniel had gotten too drunk, as he always does, causing you to kindly ask the bartender to cut him off. Daniel didn’t take that too lightly resulting in a gnarly swing at the poor guy just doing his job. 

Security threw you out and Daniel called an Uber to go where you thought was going to be your apartment but twenty minutes later you pulled up to another club practically on the other side of town. You yelled at Daniel but he pushed aside stumbling inside for yet even more drinks and mistakes waiting for him inside. 

You sat at the bar simply drinking some water and snacking on some peanuts keeping your eye on your garbage boyfriend. You're constantly checking the time on your phone, annoyed with every passing minute. It was 2 am and you just wanted to go home and sleep. You were even debating texting your brother Steve hoping you could just crash at his place not too far from where you were but it would be incredibly irresponsible to just leave Daniel in the state he’s in. 

So you waited and waited and waited. Your eyelids felt heavy and your energy was just completely drained. You were basically a zombie. It wasn’t until a guy approached your half asleep body that you felt a sense of alert. Daniel was shit-faced so you were practically defenseless. 

“Hey,” the guy shouted over the music.

“Sorry, I’m not interested. My boyfriend’s-” you quickly said, only to be cut off.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna hit on you. I’ve got a boyfriend of my own,” he chuckled, making you breathe out in relief. 

“Sorry,” you cringed at yourself. 

“It’s alright; but uh, I hate to be the one to tell you this. You might want to check with your boyfriend,” he said sympathetically. 

You pushed your way through the crowd scanning every face in search of Daniel. What did he do? Is he hurt? Did he get in trouble again? Is he getting arrested? Where is he-

“Daniel?” you said eyes tearing up a bit. 

His arms were wrapped around another girl’s waist as he kissed her the way he kissed you. She practically moaned as their tongues slobbered disgustingly with each other. Their hips grinding against each other proactively as if you weren’t even there. Sadness turned to anger, and anger turned to rage, gripping Daniel’s short hairs and pulling his head away from whoever this girl was. 

“What the fuck?” the girl complained, her eyes completely bloodshot. 

“Did he tell you that he was here with his girlfriend tonight?” you're sad with gritted teeth. Daniel stumbled around still unable to register what the hell was happening. 

“Oh my god, you forreal?” she said.

“Who fucking cares? She’s a prude anyway. I got more action with you than I did her in the past, what, six months?” Daniel slurred. 

“You know what, you’re a fucking prick, dude. She deserves so much better than you; I bet your dick is small anyway,” the girl said.

“Fuck you too bitch,” Daniel spit. 

“I can’t believe you,” you said. 

“Oh, whoop-dee-doo, big fucking surprise. Babe, you’re a prude. Can’t you see it? I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you anymore,” he practically puked out the words without any second thought. 

“Fine, then I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, you fucking asshole,” you stormed away holding in the tears; he wasn’t worth it. 

Almost three am and you just dumped your cheating lowlife boyfriend on the other side of town. Steve wasn’t answering his phone and you even wanna be near the club anymore. Walking speedily staring at your screen desperate to call an Uber home, you bumped harshly into a hard chest falling to the ground on your bum. 

“Fucking hell, I’m so sorry, darling,” the man said helping you up by your elbows.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t looking- Bucky?” 

“Oh, hey kid. What are you doing? It’s like three in the morning and you don’t live anywhere near here,” Bucky said, crossing his arms. 

“Daniel got himself kicked from the one by our apartment and Ubered here instead.”

“So where’s Daniel?” Bucky scowled; he’s always hated that guy, so did Steve.

“Probably fucking some other chick in the bathroom,” your voice cracked. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing; I just want to go home,” you cried.

“Hey, it’s ok; it’s ok. Do you wanna crash at me and Steve’s? He’s gone for the weekend with Peggy; you can stay in his room at least for the night,” Bucky offered; so that’s why Steve’s not answering his phone. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your night. I can just call an Uber, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Steve’ll kill me if he found out I left his baby sis alone in the streets of New York at three in the morning. It’s not a problem, we were just bar hopping and I stopped drinking ages ago.”

“Are you sure, Buck?”

“Of course,” he smiled warmly at you. 

“Hey, Nat!”

“What’s up?” a beautiful redhead approached you both.

“Gonna head home ; don’t do anything stupid,” he chuckled. 

“You too,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Catch you Monday?” 

“You’re stupid. I’ll see ya,” Bucky laughed before grabbing your hand and headed towards his apartment. 

“Thanks again, Buck. For letting me stay here tonight,” you said once you entered his apartment. 

It had been a while since you hung out at your brother’s apartment but nothing’s changed. Typical men and their inability to change even a throw pillow. You set your small bag on the couch before Bucky led you to Steve’s room. There were pictures of you and him posing at Steve’s graduation; and later your own. Pictures of Steve and Bucky at a theme park, during a bar-be-que for Steve’s birthday. So many memories that Steve held onto in his room. 

“Time really flies doesn’t it?” Bucky said, slightly startling you.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“No, you’re fine. But you’re right. Feels all these pictures were taken yesterday,” you reminisced. 

“I got you some clothes if you need to change; I’ll give you privacy,” Bucky said, slipping from the room briskly. 

You sat on the bed frustrated with everything. Your body was so drained from being up so early in the night, to the fight with Daniel. The past couple months with him were so awful. He was just so mean to you all the time and you didn’t know what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong? When did things shift?

"Is everything ok, darling?" Bucky asked quietly, knocking on the door when you hadn't come out after a while.

"What did I do wrong? I thought he loved me," you choked out. 

Bucky sighed as he walked over to the bed sitting beside you before engulfing you in a warm hug. You cried into his shoulder and Bucky couldn't help the anger that bubbled inside him for your excuse of a boyfriend Daniel. He never got along with the guy and now he finally has a reason to knock his teeth in.

"You didn't do anything, I know it. That prick wouldn't know love if it hit him in the face. It's his loss. You deserve so much better than that asshole. Look at me, you're so beautiful and funny and fucking adorable; any guy who can't see how perfect you are, is a dense piece of shit." 

"James," you whispered. 

His words made your heart skip and your stomach flutter. But Bucky’s always had that effect on you. Even growing up. You weren’t going to sit there and pretend that hearing his words hadn't had a deeper effect than they would’ve coming from Daniel. Sometimes you wondered what being with Bucky would be like. You’re not the first to admit how handsome Bucky was and growing up you did have quite the crush on your brother’s best friend.  

You don't know what it was, whether it was the alcohol still swimming through your veins, or just feeling so vulnerable being in Bucky's arms but you wanted him badly. You needed him, needed to feel something again. And you knew he could give it to you. You pressed your lips to his and in an instant his hands dropped to your hips pulling you impossibly close against his body. Your hands went to the back of his head as you kissed him messily. Your noses bumped and teeth clashed but it was the best kiss you’ve ever had. 

“Fuck, your brother’s gonna kill me,” Bucky mumbled, almost to himself, as he slowly laid you down on your back.

Bucky’s hands trailed up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh every now and then as he continued kissing you passionately. Your own hands couldn’t help but tug at his shirt desperately. When he did so, your breath was completely taken away. It had been years since you’d seen Bucky without a shirt. 

Not only had he been quite skinny just like your brother back then, but not long after leaving for college with Steve he was in a bike accident that left him with ghastly scars and burns along his left arm and shoulder. Since then, it’s fair to say Bucky never really ever took his shirt off. It had taken years just for him to remove the glove he’d always wear to cover the scars on his hand.

“You’ve gotten so strong, James,” you grinned, reaching out to brush the flexed muscles running down his front. 

He simply stared at you with an anticipating and anxious expression on his face, waiting for you to state the obvious. When you didn’t, when you pulled his head down to kiss him once again, he almost cried. Bucky hadn’t been with a woman in so long, afraid of this very moment. He knew at that moment, there was no one quite like you. 

Bucky fell in love. 

“Let me take care of you, darling. You’ve been so good to me,” Bucky whispered huskily in your ear as he trailed his hand under your own shirt brushing his fingertips along the underside of your breast.

His lips pressed softly against your hot skin along your neck before standing up between your legs at the end of the bed. He pulled your shirt off then played cheekily with the straps of your bra that you still had on. You smiled back at him with the same playful stare, reaching behind you to unclasp the material. 

You could see the way Bucky’s eyes darken and his pupils widened as he stared in awe at your naked chest. Your skin bursted into chills under his hungry gaze even though you felt like you were burning up. Bucky leaned forward kissing down the valley of your breasts, nipping once in a while playfully before laying you back down. He shimmied you out of your bottoms easily, kneeling on the ground leaving you completely bare before him. 

“You are absolutely stunning, princess,” Bucky whispered, running his hands up your thighs slowly. 

“Bucky, please. I need you,” you whimpered. 

“Don’t worry, darling. I promise I’m gonna take good care of you,” he smirked devilishly. 

He pushed your knees open, eyeing the arousal that glistened between your thighs. He brought his fingers up to you slowly rubbing your slick around before finally pushing a thick and long finger past your folds. Your body shuddered solely at the foreign but pleasurable feeling, already moaning softly. 

Bucky’s cock strained through pants upon hearing your beautiful moans; they were like music to his ears. He couldn’t help the way his hips would buck into the mattress in a desperate attempt to relieve some pain from his erection. Soon after he pulled his fingers from you slowly only to thrust them further in you, curling his fingers just right. 

He brought his mouth down to you, wrapping his lips around your clit sucking harshly. You gasped and your back arched, overwhelmed with pleasure Bucky was giving you with just his mouth and fingers. All the times that you’d given yourself to your ex, he had never made you feel this good before, feel this full; let alone with his fingers. Bucky was taking his time with you solely for your own pleasure and it made your heart swoon. 

Your legs trapped Bucky’s head between your thighs, squeezing as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. Your hands went to his hair pulling on his dark locks causing Bucky to moan deeply against you. You were so close to a release; your legs shaking violently and your stomach tightening. 

“Come on, princess. Want you to come all over my face. Can you do that for me, darling?”

“Fuck!”

“Be a good girl and make a mess,” Bucky teased.

His fingers moved faster as he swirled his tongue around and over your clit just as quickly. You were becoming overwhelmed and that coil bursted in the pit of your stomach. You pushed Bucky’s face from you, shrieking with pure pleasure; Bucky’s kept the rapid pace with fingers as you fell over the edge.

“Fucking hell, that was so hot, princess,” Bucky said standing up; his fingers, arm, his chest was covered in your arousal. 

“Did I do that?” your voice trembled. 

“Because of me,” Bucky winked playfully.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” you let your head fall back on the bed as you briefly caught your breath.

Bucky grabbed his shirt that he discarded not long ago and quickly wiped his chest and arm before discarding his pants and boxers. He nearly moaned at the feeling when he finally freed his dick from the restraining garments. His hand instantly wrapped around the base before pumping himself a few times. 

You brought yourself onto your elbows momentarily ogling at the sight of Bucky completely bare before you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight. Bucky crawled over you kissing you deeply and messily; but perfectly. He pulled away and you both had goofy smiles on your faces before bursting into a fit of giggles, Bucky’s head burying into the crook of your neck.

“You’re so goddamn adorable, princess,” Bucky’s voice was muffled. 

“Bucky,” you whined. 

You couldn’t resist squirming underneath the burly man. Although, you’ve just had what was probably the best orgasm you’ve ever had, you wanted more. You needed more; you needed Bucky. 

“I got you, darling. I got you.” 

Bucky wanted to tease you more, make you beg, but he was just as desperate to feel you as you were. He propped himself up on his elbows kissing you one last time before reaching between your bodies and lining his dick with your entrance. Both you and Bucky moaned simultaneously as he stretched you out; curses spilling from his lips as incoherent moans fell from yours. 

“So fucking tight, princess. Squeezing my cock just right, aren’t ya?” he whispered.

“Fuck, I feel so full,” you whimpered.

Bucky began to slowly move his hips in and out of you deliciously. He quickly picked up the pace, jetting his hips rapidly making your moans louder. Bucky sat up on his knees and gripped your waist surely to leave bruises in your wake. This new angle surprised you and you couldn’t help the squeals and moans that left your mouth. You chanted Bucky's name like a prayer; as if it was the only word you knew. 

Bucky watched you carefully, your face contorting with pure euphoric pleasure. He couldn’t help notice the small bump in your lower belly and without a second thought, he grabbed your hands pressing them firmly over your tummy. 

“You feel how deep I am, darling? Fucking poking through,” Bucky grunted. 

“Shit! Oh, it feels so good,” you moaned. 

“That’s right, no one’s ever gonna fuck you this good again. This pussy’s mine now,” Bucky growled. 

He took one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat squeezing the sides gently but firm at the same time. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned even louder, confident that the neighbors were sure to complain in the morning. Feeling Bucky’s hand around your neck was so exhilarating; you and Daniel had never ever experimented with anything beyond a pair of handcuffs, and that particular night went horribly. 

You like being choked by Bucky. 

“Fucking slut; you like this, don’t ya?” he came down to whisper huskily against your lips. 

“Mh-hm,” you moaned with a devilish grin, your bottom lip resting between your teeth before your eyes rolled back again. 

“Such a fucking beauty you are.”

Bucky hips snapped in and out and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he needed to release.

“God, I’m close, princess,” he growled. 

His hand moved to rest on the back of your neck to pull you up so you straddled his thighs and your chest was flushed against his. Your sensitive and hardened nipples brushed against his slightly sweaty skin causing you to shudder in pleasure. Bucky’s lips attached themselves to your skin along your collar bones sucking harshly leaving purple marks all along.

Your legs shook once again as they did before and soon enough with an arched back and shout of Bucky’s name you came all over his cock. Overwhelmed with your sex, Bucky bit harshly on your shoulder in a poor attempt to muffled the loud groans and moans he elicited. Feeling your velvety walls squeeze tightly around him pushed him over the edge, coating your walls with hot ribbons on cum. 

He fell forward almost crushing you but you were too tired to complain. Bucky continued to pepper soft kisses all over your skin whispering how good you were to him, how beautiful you looked. Just absolutely showering with compliments. You felt him slowly getting off you, probably afraid he was crushing you, but you didn’t want him to leave just yet. 

“Don’t,” you whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around his body. 

“I don’t want to crush you, darling.”

“You’re not.”

Bucky chuckled before settling completely above you, careful not to make you uncomfortable. Hardly any time went by when he felt the even and soft puffs of air hitting his skin, sure that you had fallen asleep. He picked himself up and with major guilt for his best friend, picked you up from the bed and walked you to his own room. 

After he was sure you stayed sound asleep, Bucky grabbed a clean pair of boxers and hurried himself to Steve’s room again. He collected all the discarded clothes and the dirty sheets and tossed them in the washing machine to clean right away. 

He hadn’t meant to fuck his best friend’s little sister, let alone in his own room, on his own bed, but it all happened so fast. 

He went back to his room letting the clothes do it’s thing, and quickly grabbed his phone. He messaged Steve, telling him that when he got back for his weekend with Peggy, he really needed to talk to him. 

Tonight made Bucky realize how much he loved you. Growing up, you two had always been close. But he doesn’t know when he stopped being friendly and instead began flirting. Bucky wanted to be with you; he knew it now more than ever. 

Bucky watched your gorgeous sleeping form on his bed. He smiled to himself before opening the window; the sun already rising and those beautiful golden rays seeped through the glass window, making you look angelic. He crawled into bed cuddling flushed against your naked body. He chuckled softly when you realized he’d returned, wiggling even further into his arms. 

“I love you, Bucky,” you mumbled. 

“I love you, too, darling.”

And he really, and truly did love you. As did you love him. 

=======================

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Bucky Barnes Taglist:

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[collecting-stories]

She’s Kinda Hot - Sarah Cameron

Request: omg i really wish i could write but, can you do one with sarah and kind of like kie reader(rich but hang out with the pogues)where they are enemies and are stuck together for a project and the reader keeps annoying sarah to make her mad and the reader tells sarah she’s hot when she’s mad and then they end up getting together or something. sorry this is really long this is also my first time requesting so i’m kinda new lo

A/N: I really freaking love Sarah Cameron. That is all. Enjoy the fic. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Sarah was pretty sure that there was one of those personal rain clouds hanging directly over her head as she sat in math class with you. Who even assigned school projects in math class? Wasn’t that kind of thing reserved for english or science? But no, her math teacher...your math teacher...decided that a project to highlight Women in Math was a brilliant idea for Women’s History Month and, in an even greater stroke of genius, she stuck Sarah and you together as partners. It was all your fault really, that was all Sarah kept thinking as she stared across the classroom at the side of your head. That if you hadn’t walked into class late, in the middle of assignments, Sarah would’ve ended up with the next person alphabetically behind Cameron. Instead, she was stuck with you. 

“Why don’t we just split the assignment into parts and then put it together at the end?” Sarah suggested, after the bell rang and she managed to chase you down the hall of the kook academy to your locker.  

“Why not just work together?” You replied, shrugging a shoulder as if it shouldn’t be the worst thing that could ever happen to Sarah to be paired together for the project.

“I’d rather not.”

“Cause you broke up with me-”  

Sarah hushed you immediately, covering your mouth with her hand and looking back and forth down the crowded hallway. “You know what happened!”  

You pushed Sarah’s hand away and rolled your eyes, “well too bad princess, I need this grade so you’re gonna have to deal with seeing me.” You said, “everyday. After school.”  

“That’s bullshit,” Sarah snapped, following after you when you shut your locker and started down the hallway to your next class, “you do not need that fucking grade! You’re at like, the top of the class.”  

“Are you the teacher?” you asked, looking back at her. “Don’t worry Sarah, I promise I’ll stay six feet away and I won’t try to tempt you. Wouldn’t want anyone to find out you’re into girls.” You said, whispering the last part so only she could hear it.  

Sarah stopped in her tracks, watching you walk the rest of the way to your class. She wanted to scream after you, that wasn’t the reason. That wasn’t why she’d totally annexed you from her life. It wasn’t just that she knew this project was going to get her in deep shit, it was that she was one hundred percent positive that she would not be able to work with you without letting her feelings get the better of her.  

It wasn’t like the kook academy was a big place, there wasn’t exactly room to avoid you completely, but Sarah had done a pretty decent job so far. Even when the two of you crossed paths in class, and it happened more than Sarah would’ve preferred, she managed to keep herself away from you. At least until now, she was stuck with you as her partner for some ridiculous math project. She’d been banking on you wanting as little to do with her as she tried to have with you but instead you seemed totally fine. Unbothered by everything that went down between the two of you.  

She thought about asking Kiara what she would do but Sarah could already hear her best friend telling her that she wasn’t going to take sides. Kiara was friends with both of you and the most advice she would ever offer was “I don’t get what happened between you two anyway��.  

No, asking Kiara wouldn’t work. Sarah would have to resign herself to this project. She could this. It was just a three-week project. She could survive three weeks with you.  

“Hey, if I get lunch, what’d’ya want?” You asked, hanging your head off of Sarah’s bed and holding your phone out so you could tap through your doordash app.  

Sarah wanted to scream, it was still half-way through the first week and you had been to her house three times in as many days, spending your after-school hours driving her crazy. She was pretty sure that you were doing this on purpose.  

“It’s almost 5:30,” Sarah replied, not looking up from her laptop, “I think lunch is over.”

“Dinner then.” You said.  

“No. I don’t want dinner.” She snapped, “and I don’t want lunch or whatever else...I just want to finish this project.”

“We’ve got like, two weeks left Sarah,” you pointed out, rolling over onto your stomach and looking at her across the room, “just chill out.”  

You knew you were pushing Sarah’s buttons but you couldn’t help it. When things between the two of you had gone bad, when she’d told you that it was over and, worse than that, it was a mistake, you had been heartbroken. There wasn’t a better word for it. You hated how upset you’d been after Sarah broke it off with you but when things settled, you couldn’t deny that there was still something there. Little looks, fleeting in the hallway, moments you caught her staring and you knew she caught you too. It felt like boiling tension, the same way it had before, when you’d gotten together.  

“Chill out?” She huffed, “you’ve been at my house all week driving me fucking nuts and now you tell me to ‘chill out’. No, you need to help me with this fucking project!”  

You sat up on the bed, unable to contain the smile as you looked over at Sarah, “god, I totally forgot how insanely hot you are when you’re pissed off.”  

Sarah tossed her pencil across the room at you, “will you knock it off. You always pull this shit with me.”

“What shit?” You almost laughed, “you’re the one who told me that dating was an ‘accident’ and you were ‘confused about your feelings’. What am I doing, exactly, to pull shit with you? If anything, Sarah, you leading me on was pretty much exactly that.”  

“I wasn’t leading you on.” She groaned, flicking her hair over her shoulder the way she always did when she was pissed with something someone said to her. “What was I supposed to do anyway?” She said, voice dropping lower so no one would hear her. You might’ve been in her closed bedroom but if there was one thing you’d learned about Tanny Hill it was that someone was always listening. “Do you know what my family would do if they found out?”

“Found out that you were dating...basically a pogue? Or dating a girl?” You deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at her in question. You knew what the answer was. Sarah had been trying to live up to every expectation that Ward set for her from the moment she was born. She was always trying to make up for Rafe or Wheezie doing something to upset him by making sure she never did. And while other people dating whoever they wanted was totally fine with him, his favorite daughter, his pride and joy, dating a girl...maybe if it’d been Wheezie a few years down the line. But not Sarah, who was supposed to date a rich kook and go to UNC and marry the same rich kook and they could have a couple kids and buy a big house near his. He’d been planning it all out for her since before she was born and you had thrown a wrench in that plan.  

“It’s a delicate subject.”

“No,” you laughed and shook your head, “your dad’s a total homophobe. What’s he got against two super-hot girls dating each other?”

“When one of them is his daughter, I don’t think it’s at the top of his approved list.” She replied. “We should be working on this project anyway...I want a good grade and so do you.”

“Sarah-”

“No. Cause you’ll say something that you know I wanna hear and then you’ll do the stupid slow walk over to my chair and put your hands on the arm rests and I’ll be totally defenseless and then I’ll do something I totally regret...like kissing you.” Sarah said, “or letting you kiss me.”

“You’d totally regret it if we kissed?” You asked. “Positive?”

“Yes I’m positive.”

“We could test it out? Just to make sure?”

“No.”  

You shrugged, grabbing your math text off the bed and setting it on your lap again, “okay, I guess we should get back to work then.”

“What?” Sarah almost sounded shocked and really she shouldn’t have been. She should’ve known when the teacher put the two of you together for the project that this was exactly where she would end up at some point within the three weeks. Though really, she’d held out a lot longer than she ever thought she would be able to. “That’s it? You’re just going back to the project?”

“You said that’s what you wanted to do.”

She groaned and tugged at the roots of her hair for a second before looking at you, “you are the most frustrating, annoying, dense person in the entire world and I cannot believe that we-”

While she reamed you out, you had put your book aside and gotten up, going over to her and doing exactly what she said you would. You put your hands on the armrests of her desk chair and you leaned in and kissed her mid-sentence. “Is that what I was supposed to do?” You asked, pulling away just enough to see her face.  

Sarah wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you toward her and forcing you to stabilize yourself with a knee on the side of her leg, practically sitting on her lap. “Something like that.” She finally said, “though I would’ve appreciated a little warning.”

“Oh, sorry, you seemed stressed,” you replied, feigning innocence, “I just wanted to help you relax.”

“Is stressed the word?” She joked, tension melting as she brushed her nose against yours. She leaned forward so your foreheads were touching, her eyelashes just ghosting a touch on your cheeks when she closed her eyes for a split second.  

“Extremely hot? Sexy...a major turn on.” You joked, kissing her again. “God, imagine if you’d been paired with like...Topper for this? You’d be kissing him right now.”

“Stop trying to ruin the moment and kiss me.” Sarah laughed.

[katsukisbayy]

I Miss the Misery (Shoto Todoroki x Female Reader Band AU)

Warnings: sex, oral (f receiving), cussing

S/O to @unbreakablekiribaku for thirsting over this with me and @thewheezingwyvern and @nocturnalazura for betaing!

Also this is over 3000 words and I don’t know how that happened.

“When we get out there, I wanna do the set like normal and then end with the new song.” You told your band mates. Your bassist Eijirou Kirishima, guitarist Shouto Todoroki, and drummer Denki Kaminari all snapped their heads in your direction, wondering if you’d lost your mind. Shoto was the first to speak.

“You mean the song that I’ve practiced with Kirishima and Kaminari and Kaminari and Kirishima have practiced with you, but we have yet to all run through together? Are you dense?” His smooth voice stated. That voice used to be the last thing you listened to at night and the first thing you heard in the morning, it gave you the idea to start your band after he had heard you sing God knows how many times, and it was the voice that broke your heart when the two of you broke up less than six months ago. The two of you had been together for years, starting your band with your friends before you started dating and being together throughout the rough stages of becoming one of the most loved alternative bands in the world. 

Now you hardly spoke to each other on bad days, and joked around like best friends on others. 

“Yeah. That song. I think it’ll be fine, you know the tempo even without hearing me sing the lyrics. We’re doing it.” You told him flatly, side eyeing him to see his muscles tense.

“I haven’t even seen the lyrics, how am I supposed to know what the song is about? Or play it without fucking you or Kaminari or Kirishima up? It’s not a good idea and you know it.” He glared at you.

“I think you forget who runs the show, Shoto. If I say we’re doing a song in the set, we’re doing it. Besides, Denki and Ei have heard me sing it and they think it sounds good. Just go with me on this, please?” You finally asked him. 

“If we fuck up, this is on you.” Came his reply through clenched teeth. Hearing the signal that you four were to be on stage in five minutes, he grabbed his guitar and left the dressing room. Kirishima and Kaminari both turned to you.

“He’s going to hate you when he hears the lyrics since they’re about him Y/N.” Kirishima told you.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be pissed. I can’t wait to see what the tabloids and Twitter have to say about the end of the show!” Kaminari laughed.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t seen or heard the lyrics. I can’t wait to see his face.” You stated before grabbing your mic and following the two boys out the door. Oh yeah, this show was going to be one you never forgot.

The show so far had been uneventful, but you could tell the closer it got to the last song of the set how agitated Shoto was getting. As the final notes from your penultimate song echoed through the stadium, you knew it was time to announce a slight change of plans.

“You guys have been a fantastic audience tonight, but unfortunately we’re at our last song of the show. I know the set list had been given out and Playing God was supposed to end the night, but I think it’s time a new song we’ve been working on is played. Would you guys like that?” You asked through the microphone. As soon as the words left your mouth, the audience went crazy at the thought of getting to hear a new song before it was released.

“That’s what I thought! This is something I’ve been working on for a few months, so here’s I Miss the Misery!”

You paused for a second, letting the guys get ready and the crowd to calm down. When you’d decided it was time, you signaled Shoto and Denki and the music began.

“Oh, I miss the misery!” You began. Hearing the boys come in with the music, you walked around the stage letting yourself get into it.

“I’ve been a mess since you stayed, I’ve been a wreck since you changed. Don’t let me get in your way, I miss the lies and the pain, the fights that keep us awake. Oh I’m tellin you! I miss the bad things, the way you hate me, I miss the screaming and the way that you blamed me. I miss the phone calls, when it’s your fault. I miss the late nights, I don’t miss you at all. I like the kick in the face and the things you do to me. I love the way that it hurts. I don’t miss you, I miss the misery.” You continued the song, glancing at Shoto every once in a while to see if he had figured out that it was about him. He stood calm, cool, and collected while watching his fingers pluck the guitar strings. One of the best and worst things about him was that he knew how to keep his emotions under control when needed. That was always one of the things you’d hated when you got into arguments, he could turn his emotions off at the snap of his fingers. You shook your head and continued to focus on the music. 

“I’ve tried but I just can’t take it. I’d rather fight than just fake it. You know that I’ve had enough, I dare you to call my bluff. Can’t take too much of a good thing. And I’m telling you. I miss the bad things, the way you hate me. I miss the screaming, the way that you blame me. Miss the phone calls, when it’s your fault. I miss the late nights, I don’t miss you at all. I like the kick in the face, and the things you do to me. I love the way that it hurts. I don’t miss you, I miss the misery.” 

 Walking closer to the boys, you took a spot close to Shoto. You glanced over at Kirishima and nodded, signalling him to sing his part of the song while you did yours. (Bold is Kirishima singing).

“Just know that I’ll make you hurt.”

“I miss the lies and the pain what you did to me.”

“When you tell me you’ll make it worse.”

“I’d rather fight all night than watch the tv.”

“I hate this feeling inside, you tell me how hard you’ll try. But when we’re at our worst, I miss the misery.”

You turned to face Shoto head on and placed a hand at the nape of his neck, pulling his forehead to yours as you sang the next part.

“I miss the bad things, the way you hate me. I miss the screaming, the way that you blame me.” You trailed off, turning away from Shoto after seeing the rage in his eyes.

“I miss the rough sex, leaves me a mess. I miss the feeling of pains in my chest. Miss the phone calls, when it’s your fault. I miss the late nights. I don’t miss you at all. I like the kick in the face and the things you do to me. I love the way that it hurts! I dont miss you, I miss the misery. I don’t miss you, I miss the misery! I don’t miss you, I miss the misery.” You were panting as the song ended, the adrenaline of being in front of a crowd this large seeping out of you as you tried to catch your breath. 

“Thanks you guys! Stay safe and we’ll see you again soon!” You called out as you began to walk off the stage. Heading back to your dressing room to grab your things, you grabbed your manager and whispered in his ear “I’m not waiting for the boys, I’ll be at the hotel.” 

He nodded as you passed. You hurried to the room, grabbing the few things in there and then heading to the car that was awaiting you outside the venue. You laid your head on the window after climbing in, wondering if debuting the new song without Shoto having heard it first was a mistake. 

-----------------------------------

After arriving in your hotel room, you stripped and took a shower. You stayed in the shower for a while, letting the warm water soothe the tense muscles from the nerves of the show. Ten minutes after you’d gotten out of the shower and gotten dressed you heard a knock at the door. Shoto stood before you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Did you think that that was a good idea? You could have ruined the show.” He seethed, stepping into your room and shutting the door behind you. You took a step back.

“I knew that we could handle it, and I wanted to do that song at the end. I knew it would be good publicity too. Who else would debut a song at a concert instead of releasing it on music apps?” You asked, still stepping back as he prowled towards you.

“You make me so goddamn angry sometimes. Don’t think I don’t know who that song was about. And that little stunt that you pulled? Pulling my face towards yours? I wanted to punch you and kiss you at the same time.” 

You stilled at that. He wanted to what?! You felt the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and knew you had been caught. Sitting on the bed slowly, you looked up at him as he towered over you. He knelt down so you were at the same eye level and placed a hand on your cheek.

“You drive me absolutely crazy. Sometimes I feel like we can get along and maybe go back to being friends and others I feel like the only reason we still talk is because of the band. We need to figure out what’s going on because I feel like I’m going to explode otherwise.” He stated softly.

You placed a hand over his and sighed softly. Feeling bold, you moved your hands to cup his cheeks. He leaned his forehead to yours and exhaled slowly.

“I want to kiss you. Honestly, I want to fuck you. You need to stop me if you don’t want this, okay?” He asked.

His confession shocked you, and you gave your answer when you pressed your lips to his softly. The first kiss was short and soft, only lasting for a few seconds until he pulled back. He searched your eyes for any hesitation and when he didn’t find any, he smashed his lips to yours. It was a flurry of lips, teeth, and tongue as you fought for dominance over the kiss. Shoto won, as he normally did, and as his tongue swept through your mouth you felt his hands slip down your arms and grip the bottom of your shirt. He quickly pulled it over your head, leaving your chest bare to him.

He pulled back slightly, smirking as he took in your chest. “You know, not much has changed. You’re still beautiful.” 

Lowering himself, he took one of your breasts into his mouth and grasped the other with his hand. You moaned lightly, feeling his tongue slip over your perked nipple with ease.

“Sho-Shoto.” You gasped. He pulled back once more, only to slip his hands into your bottoms and slide them down your legs. You lifted your ass up to help him pull them off your hips and then pulled his face back to yours. This time you led the kiss as you traced the tip of your tongue over his bottom lip before slipping it into his mouth. He let you familiarize yourself with his mouth once more before breaking the kiss and pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck and down your chest to your cunt. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed this. Seeing you writhe in pleasure underneath me, seeing the face you make when you cum. I’ll make you do it over and over until you can’t anymore.” He accented the statement with a graze of his teeth over your right thigh, causing you to jerk in response. 

Chuckling, he moved so his face was in front of your core. Shoto slowly ran his fingers up your leg until he slowly pushed one into you and groaned at the way you clenched around it. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been fucked, love?” He asks, slowly pushing his finger in and out of your cunt. “It feels like it’s been a while.”

You groaned out “a while” in response, digging your heels into his shoulders and trying to lift your ass so he’d put his tongue to use doing something other than talking. He pulled his finger out and smacked your clit lightly.

“Ah, ah. Remember I’m in charge baby. Be a good slut and stay still.” Shoto smirked at you before plunging two fingers back into your core. You moaned at the sensation as he began to increase the speed of his fingers before finally bringing his tongue to flick at your clit. He flicked it twice before flattening his tongue and dragging it up and down your slit slowly, allowing your juices to coat his tongue and the bottom half of his face. Slowly sliding his fingers out of your cunt, he brought them up to his eye level while pulling back slightly. 

“Suck.” Was all that was uttered out before he shoved his fingers into your mouth, letting you clean them off for him. When his fingers were clean he grabbed your thighs in both hands and spread your legs as wide as they could go. Once you were maneuvered to his liking, he plunged his tongue inside of you, using the tip of it to play with your walls. You could feel your impending orgasm, and apparently so could Shoto because right as you were about to cum he pulled back.

“You don’t get to cum yet sweetheart. I’m nowhere near done with you.” 

He quickly undressed himself before leaning over you and kissing you once more. You felt him grab his cock and rub it against your folds for a few seconds before pulling back to gauge your reaction.

“Are you okay with this? I can stop if you don’t want to.” He murmured. In response you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him forward.

“I promise if I didn’t want this I would tell you. Now please Sho, fuck me.” You whined out.

He didn’t need to be told twice, grabbing your hips and sheathing himself inside of you with one thrust. A dull ache began within your walls and you winced slightly at the sensation. Shoto noticed the slight hesitation and stilled.

“I’m okay Sho. It hurts a little because I haven’t done this in a while, but I’ll be okay.” You felt him relax and push slightly further inside your aching cunt. 

“Fuck I missed this princess. I missed the way your pussy sucks me in every time I try to pull out, the faces you make as I hit your spot, and the sounds you make as you climax.” He accented every statement with a particularly deep thrust that had you writhing. You could feel your juices sliding down your ass and dripping onto the sheets below you and you made a mental note to leave some extra money for housekeeping.

“Sho-” You whimpered. His control seemed to snap at that as he grabbed your ass and lifted it off the bed, angling your body to only allow your shoulders and head to touch it. This angle had him going deeper than before, and you felt your climax rising once again.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna cum. Please can I cum?” You babbled. Shoto got harder at the pleas.

“Cum for me Y/N. Let me hear your pretty little noises.” He grunted out. The permission was all you needed as you felt it crash over you in one big wave, your back arching and lifting you further off the bed. Your cum gushed from your cunt, splashing against Shoto’s abdomen before dripping down his thighs.

“Fuck. I can’t hold back much longer.” He groaned, thrusting into you harder and harder as he chased his own release. He slammed into you four more times before he stilled, then thrusted three shallow thrusts to ride out his own orgasm. 

Shoto slowly lowered your ass back onto the bed, trying and failing to not lay you in a wet spot left on the sheets. He laid a hand on either side of you and tried to catch his breath before trying to speak.

“That was probably the most intense fucking we’ve ever done.” He chuckled. You smacked his arm before covering your face. 

“I can’t tell if that was a hate fucking or a makeup fucking.” You said.

“It can be whatever you want it to be.” He said softly. “I know we were bad for each other, and fought all the fucking time. But I miss this. I miss waking up next to you and falling asleep with you. I miss going out and doing things whenever we’re in a different city. Hell I even miss people following us and asking us to sign things together. I promise I’ll try harder to be worthy of you, and not fight as much. If we do fight, we’ll keep it out of public and listen to each other instead of being so stubborn and hard headed,” he flicked you lightly in the forehead to accentuate that he meant you, and you pulled your hands off your face to look at him. “and just try to understand the other person’s point of view. These past six months have been hell without you, and I want to try again. Please Y/N, can we try again?” He looked at you with pleading eyes as you processed everything he had laid out for you.

There were a few seconds of silence, and you saw the emotions in Shoto’s eyes. You could tell he was wondering if he should’ve kept his mouth shut when you pressed your lips to his lightly. He kissed you back hesitantly at first, then harder. You were the one to pull back from him and sigh.

“If we’re really going to make it different this time, I’m okay with trying again. I’ve missed you so badly these past months that I was hoping the song was going to grab your attention. I didn’t expect it to do this though.” You laughed and gestured to where he was still inside you. “We can try again. But only if we both promise that it will be different this time.”

“I promise it’ll be different.” Shoto said softly, moving one hand from the side of your head to cup your cheek. You lifted your hand to cover his, and turned your face to kiss the palm of his hand.

“I promise, too. Now get out of me before I want to go for round two.” You tried to push him off of you but he caught your hands.

“Wait, we can do round two?”

[muffindaddystyles]

𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊.

Summary: Where you got a panic attack while attending a lecture at University and Harry's out of reach.

Warning: Angst, ah! yes no worries you'll get fluff in the end.

P.S: 𝐖𝐞'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲'𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲.

Snuggled into cosy sheets, sweater paws wrapped around a cuppa, the strands of your dark hair tickling the nape of your neck and a sheepish smile of yours crawled against the rim happy while you scrolled through your Instagram feed seeing a short video of Harry singing Landslide on karaoke with his best pal at their get-together.

You and Harry were bestfriends, you met him at a vintage shop in basement where they sell old vintage tees. Despite of knowing who he was you fought with him cheekily over a same 'Pink Floyd's.' T-shirt at that time you guys decided to share it, he'd come to take it from you after every three days a week.

Two years of bestfriendship from you taking him to local south asian and chinese restaurants, to dragging him to yearly fair demanding him to win a bunny for you, to going on a competition for free pizzas only ending up loosing because you were litreally about to go sick, dancing like a maniac at the low price arcade at your university's backstreet, to him dragging you to his friends get-togethers which are quite fun they are super chill but your anxiousness is a little bitch she pops out of nowhere but Harry doesn't mind at all.

Now you're here. Being his lover for an year. He confessed his love for you when he was high on shrooms and you laughed it off tucking him to sleep at his place because he always used to say he 'loves you.' but that was in friends typa way until at the Christmas time while you were having fun for real at Jeff's house with Harry crowded by his mates that one of the Jeff's friends approached you and Oh dear lord' from even so far Harry's sight was dagger to a prey and was hot on his heels, if he would have been a cartoon character red smoke could have seen through his ears.

"Pet?" His brows kinked together as he squeezed you to a corner and he pulled at his bottom lip when your attention was on that guy waving you good-bye, "what Harry?" You asked him nonchalantly peering him through your down gaze.

It was enough to pinch his nerves and Amy one of his girl friend smirked watching the scenario when he was taking both of you to rooftop. With folded forearms you smiled with a certain mischief at the clear jealousy of him ripping through his every action, "jus' wanna protect ye', kiddo." He paced back to you sighing with a painful clench in his chest. He wanted to spill out but why the hell it was so difficult.

"Huh?" Your eyes widened like a deer under the moonlight at his obvious incoherence and he hissed pulling at his roots so you retorted calmly, "relax he was just a guy graduated in the same degree as me." You wanted him to confess his feeling out to you, at many occasions you guys joked about marrying eachother if you both fail to find your perfect partner. Like when you got all sentimental seeing Jeff's first baby at the hospital, getting a baby fever wanting one bubba right that time and Harry joked if any consequences he would help you put a baby in you and trust me nobody in the room laughed, they had deadpaned faces, they all know you guys have crossed the borderline but are playing blind.

His friends have inner jokes for you and Harry, their famous four bets on when Harry will ask you out, his first love confession to you, him proposing you and what your first born would be. Half of them lost more money than they could have imagined in a group of seven, Amy was smirking with full heart because she was praying maybe this time she'll win the bet.

"He looked like he drank 'is arse off." You rolled your eyes at his anxious quip wrapping your cardigan closer to your chest muttering under your breath and Harry's head snapped from your feet to your face, he knew it was ending point of his act "Harry he was completely sober."

He still remained firm at his ground pouting as his curled fingers brushed your elbows to bring you closer, "...but he's still a guy, ye' know.." You wanted to laugh at his face at his silly comment but instead arched your brow sternly.

"So. You aren't?" His heart-shaped lips bubbled around his words but you cut him off, "because if I remember last time you had a dick in between your legs." At this he strewned his lip inside not to chuckle how cute dirty words sounds coming out of your lips.

You frowned feeling cold when he pulled back from you turning his back to you to take a deep breath and his eyes were darker than before from frustration when he turned to face you.

"'Kay fuck. I love you, that's it. happy? I love you and don't wanna loose ye' to anyone!" You knew it coming but not like a bullet so it hit you like one freezing your breath into cold dense air, "you do?" You were at loss of words padding towards him for reassurance as if you're his little girl.

When you were inches away from him He noded without any hesitation saturating even that distance, "yes. I do. Since we've met, since you've invaded all of mind and heart." He wrapped you in his warm conforting arms humming when he snoggled his cheek against your hair.

You playfully scowled at him, "well didn't do that on purpose." Your naughtiness of that moment vanished into air when he asked you sincerely breath tasting you, "can I kiss ye' sweet girl?" Your single nod and his lips were on yours into a deep open mouthed passionate kiss, like how lovers kiss.

His cold finger-tips brushed the under shell of your earlobes earning a shuddering moan and you slipped your hands into the front pockets of his trousers.

Your own icy hands causing him to buck his hips into yours and the sensual touch made you both a whimpering mess. Tongues caressing, lips swiping, teeth nibbling and noses brushing as you kissed until your lips froze to mist.

"Cold?" You admired his after tenderness, lips magenta from heavy makeout session and he twirled a loose errand of your hair around his shiny jewl clad finger kissing your forehead and taking your hands in his bringing them closer to his lips to blow out his warmth to them.

But, there was another pair of eyes watching you astonished and somewhat gasping in awement. Amy, she came to call you guys. Then she rushed back downstairs doing a little prance and all of the people watched her in confusion.

"Ten, ten bucks each. C'mon bitches Harry said I love you to y/n!" Everyone squealed happily at her enthusiastic announcement only groaning at the end when she made a grabby hand, "I won. Now gimme my money."

Even though they all knew they acted like nothing happened respecting your guys descion of whenever you'd like to share your relationship to them, both you and Harry couldn't hold longer.

Your affection it's not new you've been affectionate to eachother since the very start, but this one have meaning and feelings, deep sensations. Hand grazes, knee touches, teasing glances, innocent bantering as if you could rip each others clothes right infront of them, closeness and quite fuck visits in their washrooms were getting obvious day by day and you ended up telling them getting showered in blessings in return.

Right now, with a shake of your head you went past through your boyfriend's antics going through Instagram stories. Your brows furrowed together in curiosity when you came through a post that had a large 'sensite content.' written on it.

This's what happens when curiously takes best of you. You end up doing things you regret time after and this's what happened to you.

"My god!" You clamped your palm over your mouth, eyes widening in horror and nerves crippling in fear. The gor video full of cruelness and blood infront of you making your body shudder.

𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡! 𝐷𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑡 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡! 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑦/𝑛!!!!

Your mind screamed at you to just move past it but your eyes remained numbed to same video and your heart's weeping for the poor women in the video but you're rigid in your sheets with the cup of tea shaking with the shudder of your fear.

Then the consciousness hit you like a train and you snapped out of it quickly shutting your phone throwing it carelessly on the sheets, putting the porcelain cup with a shivering hand onto nightstand.

You shrinked into your sheets trying to calm your breaths. Bolting shut your eyes you shrugged and shook your head many times to get rid of the same image circling in your mind like a demon trying to haunt you.

You stopped breathing without realizing arm over your forehead as you stared the ceiling, lip sucked into your mouth and talking to yourself you tried to concentrate on something else.

You're feeling it coming. It's collecting in the form of bile in your throat and when you were talking with yourself. Your stupid obnoxious brain played your voice ten times faster and it echoed inside your own fleshy bones like a broken record in the barren house of devil.

You're hating it. You inhaled an audible gasp of loud horrific breath shoting up from your sleeping position throwing your duvet to ground ready to run away, you're trying to run away from yourself from your bloody damn thoughts.

You want Harry. He knows about your anxiety and panic attacks. You had your fair amount of panic attacks in his presence, but he always managed to bring you back to him. He used to make you practice breathing patterns and techniques on how to escape from your own subspace.

The first time you got it infront of him was when everyone protested that you should stay for sometime more but it was already two in the morning and you had an exam in the next morning it was just for him that you went along, but you were kinda angry on your own self for taking risks for just a friendship. Then it came into a black pitch waves of suffocation in his car while he was driving you back home, he was unaware of your condition and practically cried when he couldn't bring you back to him.

That night he slept in your bed for the first time. He wanted to stay closer to you in any case, you were sad that you made him worried for no-reason but he shushed you with infinite forehead kisses, he whisper yelled at you full of concern if he might be suffocating you but you giggled a "no." kissing his cheeks getting cosy in his embrace eyes drooping to sleep. He used to sing lullaby to you when you were having it bad particular nights.

Now, he wasn't here and you thought of calling him many times but decided against it only being your own helper. Taking a deep breath, you sang his lullaby to yourself, not letting tears to fall and reminisced all of the lovely memories of you together. Your kisses. Your laughs. Your cuddles. Your lovemaking. Your cooking failures together.

With all of these memories you were back in your bed closing your eyes only hearing Harry's soft affectionate rasps in your ears.

.

In the morning you have long forgotten that even the video existed. You were surprisingly fresh walking to your university's building in long strides, greeting everyone and anyone.

Harry just woke up from his lazy slumber. Making an orange juice for himself, his head heavy and he's in no mood to look at his phone. Grabbing his journal and putting on his rings, a special copper one that you gifted him on his ring finger smiling at it like a foolish fucker and pecking it shyly remembering you.

"Heyyy. H!" When he entered studio everyone greeted him joyfully and he hugged them all handing breakfast to each one of them he bought after standing in a queue for half an hour, "how's y/n?" Sarah asked chewing her bagel sitting behind the drums and the seed of distress sprouted in his stomach that he hasn't asked his bubby if she slept good lastnight? What she had in breakfast? If her day's going well.

There's this certain instinction that's making him restless but he can't quite put a finger on it.

"She's good. Gets a lill cranky if I win form 'er at the '10 phase' uno game." He chuckled with a hint of love under his tone his previous thoughts of checking onto you again slipping from his mind.

Plugging his phone to charger he rushed back to his favourite spot quickly taking his journal and pencil to scribble something.

It's your English lecture. The day went well. But now it's not. You're zoning out knowing how boring the lecture sounds.

You stared the way you drew your pencil into unstopping circles at the corner of page and your head was a dark vacant space when the way you acted last night flashed in your mind then the reason behind it, that damn video.

The video displaying like a reel in your mind again as if you're there experiencing it with your body. You twitched, and closing your eyes you snapped your head to side several times when the cold sweat broke at the back of your neck and shudder ran down your spine.

When you snapped for the tenth time in row a hand came squeezing yours, "you okay?" You slowly looked up at the guy sitting beside you as the professor's voice billowed further from you.

You just stared him numbly, tears making your sight blurry. Your breath hitching in your lungs and you can feel it clawing at you like a demon. To avoid getting made fun of yourself you stood up leaving your things and rushed for the door, when a hand came wrapping around your wrist in a tight grip.

"Where are you going miss? This's not acceptable." Your karen professor's voice sliced through your ears and your lungs are tightening with each passing second, everything spinning around you and all you're thinking's if you'd make it alive through this dark box of suffocation.

"S-sorry...I-I have to go—" You tried to stutter in between your broken breaths and she scowled burning her grip into your wrist. Your cheeks numb as you didn't feel tears slipping down to the valley of your breasts, "tell me the reason and I'll let you." Your head fell back at that and you bolted your eyes shut as tight as possible. Then when you tried to inhale you couldn't and everyone around hooed loudly watching you in shock as you tried to escape her with weak crying attempts.

"Let me go!" You shrieked. With wide eyes she let you and you fell to ground painfully hard. It was coming. You sobbed out harshly but it went silent at the end and you bunched your shirt atop your heart when your vision went pitch black, whole body shaking and you forgot even if the oxygen existed.

It's consuming you. Everything around you moving in slow motion. Their shouts for you like a sleepy mumble and it's just Harry's lullaby melodic in the pocket of your heart but it's cold and deserted with nothing but claustrophobia shoving you brutally into darkness where nobody could hear you crying.

You act like a lioness ready to kill anybody while you're having a panic attack and when some hand came to help you. You screamed and growled swatting them away "Don't fuckin' touch me!—" even though your ears are buzzing and you gasped loudly to get some air but it's not helping. God help me, please. You prayed.

Your classmate went through your emergency phone numbers finding Harry's at the top and it ringed sitting in the other room from him.

Then he dialed another one. It was studio's landline, Harry has filled that number without your knowledge and well it helped.

"Harry?" The drums came to halt, the guitar was stopped mid shrivel and Harry's high note fell to ground when the receptionist came with a cordless phone.

"A phone for you from y/n university—" It was enough to smack his breath away and he scurried to his feet taking the phone hastily from her hold, controlling his voice to not yell at the person in his own anxiousness.

He tucked it beneath his ear taking the car keys and his phone out of instinct because when it's you he's always on alarm. What he heard from other side made his knees jello and ribs to knock in two, "fuck. Yeh. 'M comin' jus' yeah, make her breath gently....." He tried to instruct your classmate.

He cursed himself. Not giving two fucks if he broke every speed limit. His knuckles going white and he repeated a mantra of "breath baby. m' sweet sweet girl jus' breath." but he was just saying this to himself because you wasn't in his arms and he wasn't calming you, he's blaming all this on himself.

He didn't even parked his car. Striding inside the lobby and asking for you. After fifteen minutes of no breathing as you were about to hit the deep end you inhaled loudly filling your lungs with proper oxygen causing your eyes to go bloodshot and everyone sighed in relief.

Your classmate took you to University's healthcare room so someone guided Harry there. You had your knees tucked close to your chest, head resting on them to block any light as you whimpered with innocent small hiccups.

Your heart beat racing. Head hurting and chest aching from the after effect.

Harry had to get support of door's frame when his eyes fell over you. Over his Angel that was shrinked pitifully like she's scared of world crying on her own.

The sheets of stretcher rustled under his weight as he slowly and gently wrapped his arms around her, "baby..." He cooed on the verge of tears and she didn't had to look up to know he's here, his scent was enough to relax her mind.

Her parted lips moist over the crook of his neck as she sobbed into him. He tenderly rocked her, running his hand soothingly at her back, kissing her head and her nose wiping her tears "'m so sorry, my baby. my life. 'M so sorry."

You fisted his shirt, face smashed into his chest to avoid the world while embracing your own world, your Harry as he walked both of you to his car carrying your stuff too with him. He helped you sit inside the car rounding to the driver seat and he leaned to kiss your forehead, glossy eyelids and a peck to your lips never letting his concern divert from you as he drove home.

He made you comfortable into your bed, wrapping his forearms around your tummy and soothing your arms down to tranquil your heartbeats.

He knows it's hard for you to talk so he didn't tried to get words out of you. He just wants to be there for you, physically, spiritually, mentally. He's all yours.

After long hour you spoke voice barely above a whisper, "t-they all are gonna think 'm weird." Harry felt something jabbing his sides at her statement and he cradled her chin intensely looking her in eyes.

"No angel. I promise you they wouldn't. See how your classmate called me the very moment you weren't responding? They all genuinely cared for yer', y/n" He stroked the apple of her cheeks and she sighed waveringly new tears glistening at her eyelids.

"Thought I wasn't gonna see you ever again." Her words hit him like death and at that moment he realized they're more than just best friends, just lovers, they are soulmates and Harry would be devastated without her.

His music. His fashion. His cheekiness. His softness. His humbleness will all be gone because he's so dependent on her for everything.

She frowned lightly when Harry hugged her close to his heart, his cheek stuffed into the crook of her neck and when his wet lips rumbled with a sob she pulled him back from shoulders cupping his cheeks.

"Harry? Hey, bambi eyed. Baby look at me." You sniffled wiping your every tear and he refused to look at you sobbing hoarsely, squeezing you to feel you for his dear life.

"Don't say somethin' like that. I wouldn't be able to live without ye'." He muttered silent tears soaking her neck collecting at the dip of her collarbones. She played with his curls smooching his cheeks cooing at him, "'m here baby. in your arms. 'm fine, we're fine." She gave him an eskimo kiss when he finally pulled back. Eyes fluttering as she took a deep breath feeling her lungs nutritioning after so long.

"Did you forgot your promise of making me your babies momma or I've to make you remember?" She tried to light up the mood and he just chuckled kissing her lips, when he stood up she pouted making grabby hands at him.

"Hold me?" She asked innocently. Harry ducked down brushing her hair and kissing her head, "gonna run a bath for us sweet angel."

Interlacing your fingers he guided you to your bathroom. Rose candle's flame flickered a shadow onto mauve tiles as the water had pink waves, the scent is so him and it calmed your nerves down.

He undressed you with soft movements, planting a kiss to your shoulder when you were complete naked infront of him. Settling inside the porcelain tub he took your hand helping you inside, making you sit in between his legs.

Your back to his chest. Head resting on his shoulder and his breath fanning your cheeks. It's nothing sexual. Just you two relaxing your nerves.

He coiled his hands over your tummy, running his thumb in careless patterns near your belly button as the water droplets dropped from his curl atop your breasts.

Exhaustion taking over you. Your eyes drooping and you've no idea when he took you out changing you into his clothes and into bed slipping under covers with you.

"'M always gonna be there for ye', whatever it will take my soul to." His whispers caused your lips to curl in a smile and you hummed snuggling your face into his arm scooping you to him.

.

A/N: I know it's very excruciating for people going through this difficulty, we don't have Harry physically in our lives but he has helped us alot. I feel you and I believe you. It's okay after every hardship there's a moment of happiness personally created for you. All the love!

[mermdom]

“Mmm yes... open wide for daddy. You like daddy’s cigar don’t you boy? Yeah let daddy give you another smoky kiss...”

Jesus, only a few minutes ago that guy was complaining about smelling the smoke and now he was already one of them! The shorter one too, he still looked normal when you last turned around. He was just standing next to him in the crowd, then a cigar appeared in the older guy’s mouth out of nowhere, he started moaning and growing hair everywhere. He didn’t have anywhere to escape, he pulled him up to his face and started feeding him smoke. Only a couple breaths was enough for him to stop resisting and be moaning and changing too.

You looked back at your friend Eric, he saw it too. You two had to get out of here quick. Whatever this thing was, it was already starting to catch up. This was just a regular street fair when you’ve arrived, you were the one who convinced Eric to tag along and he was the one who first remarked on all the cigar smoking, bare chested, hairy men everywhere. You didn’t pay them much mind, but thank god Eric did. He pulled you away at the last second when one of them tried to grab you from behind. Instead he grabbed a guy standing right next to you. He started kissing him and forcing him to smoke his cigar, and soon enough the guy was growing a beard and kissing him back.

You two immediately knew that something was wrong and it didn’t take long for other people to notice it too. The number of cigar smoking men was growing, they started fucking each other in front of everyone, pulling in those standing by in shock and making them join the orgy. Once everyone realized that this thing was infectious, they’ve all started to panic, you’ve all started to run. You two ended up in this alley, that was quickly crammed so full of people that any movement, in either direction came to a complete stop. But you’ve refused to stay in place and wait until everyone around you was smoking cigars and fucking each other, yourselves included.

You kept on pushing forward, squeezing through every gap in the crowd you could find, hoping that eventually you will make it out into the open. You thought that Eric was right behind you, but you were wrong. Suddenly you’ve heard him shouting for you to wait, he was already far behind, you’ve tried to stop or turn around but the crowd was pushing both of you in opposite directions. There was nothing you could do before his voice was drowned out by the moans coming from everywhere around you. You continued trying to call out to him, but after minutes without answer, you knew that you had to press on.

There were infected ahead of you as well, some weren’t fully gone yet. You’ve heard the people who got stuck next to them in the crowd, begging them to keep on fighting. You’ve also heard what happened when they failed and gave in. They were the ones moaning the loudest, apologizing to everyone, saying that they are too horny, that this feels too good and they can’t hold it off any longer. Even if they’ve tossed away their cigars, they would somehow appear back in their mouths, they would be forced to smoke them. Each inhale changing them more, beards growing on their faces, their bodies packing on huge muscles and covering with hair, their clothes disappearing or turning into leather gear. But the thing that frightened you the most was what became of them once they’ve stopped resisting. You could tell that they still remembered who they were before, that they recognized the people they used to know, and yet the only two things they now cared about were fucking and spreading this to others, be it complete strangers, or their best friends.

You got a taste of how it was like yourself. A tiny bit of smoke had drifted into your nose, it was so faint that you couldn’t even see it with a naked eye, but you felt it right away. When your cock instantly grew hard and your head became hazy with kinkiest fantasies full of horny smoke sex and corruption. In your head, you were already one of them. You were huge and furry all over. Your strong, beefy chest was full of tattoos and your cock was like a third leg, jutting upright at full mast. You did not worry about a single thing anymore, with that cigar in your mouth, you were now in charge. You could fuck anyone you wanted, and you wanted to fuck everyone in sight, you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were helping them, helping them feel like you.

You have no idea how you’ve manged to force yourself to keep on holding your breath until it passed instead of shoving everyone aside until you found one of those cigars and could take a lungful after lungful of smoke until you felt like this forever. Somehow you’ve endured it and nearly made it out. The crowd was becoming more sparse and you could walk faster and more freely now. It seemed like you might actually get out of this! You felt so relieved, but there was also something holding you back... Eric. He might have still been somewhere out there, you weren’t sure if you could leave without him. If not for him, you would have probably been one of them by now. You looked around, hoping that you might see his face somewhere in the crowd, even tried shouting his name, but without any luck. You were starting to lose hope when suddenly you felt someone tapping you on your shoulder.

“There you are fucker! Been looking for you everywhere!”

You couldn’t believe this! It was Eric’s voice! You quickly turned around but instead of your friend, you found a bearded leatherman standing right behind you. He was looking at you, stroking his PA’d dick and smoking his huge cigar with a horny grin on his face.

“Eric?! Oh no...”

“That’s right fucker, they got me and I fucking loved every minute of it! Time for you to join us too.”

You were too shocked and freaked out to react in time when he pulled out the cigar from between his teeth and blew more smoke than you’ve ever seen in your life directly in your face. You turned around and started running but it was already in your throat, in your lungs, in your nose. They were all burning and soon the rest of your body was burning too. Your muscles were quickly growing, your arms getting wider. You did not question how come you could now see those beefy pecs and this strong musclegut as they increased in size as well. You were only trying to focus on something other than how hot this dense fur on your chest and the manly tattoos made you look. Then when your pants turned into leather chaps on trying to keep your hands away from this massive cock swaying between your legs. 

You continued to run as fast as you could but there seemed to be no getting away from that smoke, it followed you everywhere you went. Then you realized why that was... now you also had a cigar in your mouth yourself. The thought of getting rid of it was gone as soon as it crossed your mind. Why would you do that? It tasted so good and you loved how horny it made you feel and each next inhale of the smoke was making this even better. You no longer remembered why you were trying to fight this. You were too horny to think about it, to think about anything other than your cock and how good it felt to stroke it while smoking this cigar. You pushed anything that was still holding you back aside and took another, even deeper breath of nothing but cigar smoke. 

Fuck, fuck yes! This felt so fucking good! There was no turning back anymore. This is who you were now! You moaned, your cock shooting cum everywhere. You looked around, many were running away, some were still watching. It was time to show them what they were missing out on, and then to find Eric and thank him for doing the same to you.

[jellyfishbeansontoast]

When stars collide

(A/N) this is probably the longest fic I've ever written and the one that took the longest to write. Big thank you to @mayraki who helped me write alot of this

Word count: 1373

Jackson avery x reader

"What did you do that for?" you asked through gritted teeth. Reaching for the pen Jackson had just stolen out of your hands. It was only a small thing but he'd been winding you up all day, stealing small things you needed. Making you embarrass yourself in front of a patient when you couldn't find the post it notes you were sure you had five minutes earlier.

Glaring at Jackson, he shrugged nonchalantly. Holding the pen higher up our of your reach even further. Sighing, irritated now, you turned on your heel and walked away in search of a new pen.

You hated him. You'd hated him since the beginning. The first snide comment and the first sideways glance. It was always a competition, a race in who could be the best.

Jackson had made it his goal to get under your skin, or at least that's what you determined from his sly comments and irritating behaviour.

Everyone knew about your feud. Being quick to intercept any possible interaction between the two of you. Of course working in a hospital it was still difficult to avoid each other. Sometimes you'd be performing a surgery together, the silence suffocating. You always felt an itch to start a conversation but your pride got the better of you every time and you swallowed down the urge.

Your coworkers found your arguments unbearable. Constantly muttering at how immature the two of you were. Everyone dreaded the surgery's where it would be just the two of you, usually nominating one person to stand in the gallery to diffuse any fights whilst everyone else tried to stay as far away as possible.

It was well known you'd be the most annoyed after surgery. Long hours of holding your tongue, choosing to be the better person and not snapping back at Jackson.

It wasn't long before the hospital was bored of the constant drama between you two. Coming up with a plan in secret to try to get you reconciled.

"y/n can you get me something?" Meredith called from down the hallway. "It's in the supply cupboard but I'm busy right now".

You pushed open the door to the cupboard, eyes scanning the room. Your eyebrows furrowed, you were about to try and track down Meredith again, realising she never even told you what she wanted but before you could the door was slammed in your face and you heard a key twist in the lock.

"As if this couldn't get any worse."

Spinning around your gaze was met with Jackson sitting on the floor, leaning against a cabinet. He had a bored expression on his face, a change from the smug look that usually adorned it.

"What are you doing here?" you sighed, not wanting to be in his company any longer than you had to.

"The same as you I assume, probably Mer's idea."

You looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

Jackson chuckled dryly "Are you really that dense? It's obvious, they're trying to get us to be friends, why else would they shut us both in here together"

You groaned, hitting your head against the door. Muttering a string of curses under your breath you sank down onto the floor opposite Jackson. You sat like that for a while, fiddling with the necklace around your neck. It was a simple necklace, a silver chain with a star pendant on it. You noticed Jackson kept checking his watch and sighing every time the hands moved forward further than he'd have liked.

 “Look, I don’t think they’re going to let us out if we don’t become friends, or at least talk.” You said, after he’d checked his watch for the ninth time.

 He rolled his eyes at your sarkiness.“Well what do you want me to say? Oh my god y/n I’m so sorry you get really pissed off at petty things.” He replied cuttingly.

 You rolled your eyes angrily “No Jackson, I’d like to know why you choose to be an asshole all the time.”

 “You’re cute when you’re mad.” He said matter of factly, as if it was something you should already know. 

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, your hands that were playing with the necklace went still. You coughed nervously, using a cabinet to pull yourself into a standing position. You knocked on the door “Mer, I think you can let us out now.” The key twisted in the lock, throwing one look at Jackson over your shoulder you left the room, ignoring the smug look on Meredith’s face.

You avoided Jackson like the plague after that. Your friends weren’t sure which they preferred, the constant bickering or the stony silence every time he walked past. You hadn’t told them what he’d said to you, preferring to lie and say that Mer had let you out because he refused to talk to you.

You’d been in turmoil about your emotions ever since he let the words drop. You tried to convince yourself it was nothing, he was just winding you up again, but you knew it was more than that. The Jackson Avery you knew wouldn’t just drop something like that, sure he was flirty but he’d never been with you. Now you felt a pang of jealousy whenever he flirted with another woman, a feeling that had never been there before.

You knew he'd be at the bar. Joe's bar was the one most frequently populated by workers from grey sloan memorial.

Even though you knew he'd be there you still decided to go. Your friends were begging you to come, in all fairness you'd been so caught up with work and avoiding Jackson you hadn't had time to do anything with them.

"it'll be fun don't worry" one of them said as they pulled you by the hand into the crowd that filled the bar and led you to a table.

You hadn't meant to look over at him. You'd tried to keep your gaze fixed on the table the whole night. Your friends had left you earlier to dance with strangers to the upbeat music that clashed with the emotions you were feeling.

Your eyes were met with his icy blue ones, he downed his drink and turned around to the woman on the stool next to him. Seeing him with other people made you irrationally angry, you kept trying to remind yourself you hated him and everything about him but nothing seemed to be working.

Standing up you signalled to your friends that you needed some air. You grabbed your phone and jacket and shoved your way through to get to the door. You could feel his eyes on your back but you paid no attention.

The cold night air hit you in the face, a strong comparison to the stuffy heat of people dancing. The door behind you squeaked open and you prayed it wasn't your friends, not willing to answer inevitable questions about why you left so suddenly just to be dragged back inside.

"Jealous?" an irritatingly jokey voice asked you.

"Jackson I'm not in the mood for your bullshit" sighing you turned around to face him, you'd expected him to laugh at you but instead the expression on his face was concerned and worried.

"why did you leave?" he asks softly.

You figured you might as well be honest, as he was with you almost two weeks ago in the supply closet. "I didn't like seeing you with her" you mumble.

Jackson smiles lightly "see you were jealous" he laughs.

"shut up" you say hitting him in the arm gently. "Look I don't want anything right now, literally two weeks ago I hated your guts"

He nods slowly "just let me-" he fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to you screen ready on the phone app.

You giggle and tap your number into his phone. You hand it back and begin to walk back inside, knowing you'd be the one who'd have to drive your drunk friends home.

As you're walking away your phone in your pocket beeps and you stop to take it out. The bright text symbol is displayed on your screen.

':) - Jackson'

Taglist: @dmonchld @outerbankslut @stfukie @killingbxys @love-chx my taglist is a bit broken and a mess right now and some people have no results which I'm assuming means they put all before I accidentally removed the other option, if you wanna be removed lemme know and I'll create a new form soon anyway

[chilling-seavey]

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 11

A/N An absolution 

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

The sun was setting over the hills as I drove Jonah and myself out of Los Angeles and towards the desert. It was already getting later in the day so we decided to take the route through Palm Springs to stay there for the night and then make the straight shot to our shared ski lodge in Utah early the next morning.

Our drive was reasonably quiet, Jonah had connected his phone and was playing music quiet through the Bluetooth speakers in the car but neither of us were really focussed on the songs. That was a first, honestly.

I was too busy in my own mind; two Advil deep and still sporting a persistent headache while trying to piece together the events of the day. It had been both the fastest and longest day of my life. Did everyone always have it out for Avalon or was I just disgustingly dense? The way my brother spoke about her made me sick and the way Zach left our conversation with that sly dig made my blood boil. Avalon and I may have argued a lot but she was still my wife and I was supposed to protect her.

Right?

I’d be a complete asshole if I didn’t follow through with the one thing I swore to do in front of a whole congregation of our family and friends ‘til death do us part.

Goddammit.

It was dark by the time we pulled up to the resort in Palm Springs and the desert mountains were smudged into the starry sky in hues of black and dark blues. The city seemed quiet as if nightlife was non-existent. Normally, Jonah and I would complain about that – always ones to thrive off good nightlife, especially on a vacation – but right now, the quiet was perfectly ideal.

The sign out front of the resort read Riviera in curling letters and was lit from two spotlights on the grass below if beckoning us towards it. The parking lot didn’t seem too crowded, so we figured it was a safe place to stay. I parked the car near the entrance and pulled out a bit of the cash from the glovebox before we stepped out into the humid air.

Palm Springs felt far stickier than Los Angeles despite only being a two-hour drive away and I tugged haphazardly at the front of my black t-shirt to try and cool myself down a little as we headed for the doors. The burst of air conditioning that tumbled out of the building when the sliding glass doors opened for us was such a relief, even if our walk from the car hadn’t been that far. The lady behind the desk welcomed us with a smile and chipper hello and Jonah and I shuffled over quietly.

“We’re looking for a room for tonight. Two double beds preferably.” I said, keeping my voice down.

Being quiet felt necessary, even in the near empty lobby at the mere hour of 7:30pm.

The young lady typed away into her computer, her calm smile making me feel only more on edge than I already was. What was there to smile about? I drummed my fingers impatiently on the front desk and glanced back through the large windows to the direction of my car.

Her voice brought me back around, “We have a room available for you! It will be $185 for one night. Two double beds. Is a view of the pool alright with you?”

“Yeah.” I answered quickly. Pool, mountain, who gave a fuck. Honestly, dear reader, I never knew how much people can annoy me until I didn’t want to be around them.

“What’s the name for the booking?” she asked, glancing between Jonah and me expectantly.

“Seavey.” I answered and she typed it into her computer.

I figured since I told Christian we were going on a road trip it would only make sense to use my honest name if anyone came after us. God, I hoped no one would come after us.

I paid in full in cash – much to her surprise but she didn’t argue – and she passed us each a swipe key to our room.

“248. Second floor right past the pool on the other side.”

“Is there a Tesla charging station around here?” I asked.

“You’ll see it across the lot. Closer to the middle entrance doors!”

The hotel was built in a circular shape with the pool in the open courtyard centre and the two storeys of rooms in a pinwheel around it. Our room was at the far end of the building from the lobby and I drove my car down to the Tesla charging stations by the centre entrance to plug it in while Jonah pulled our bags from the backseat.

“What are we going to do with…the case in the trunk?” he asked me softly.

The quiet desert night made for ease of eavesdropping. Who could one trust at a time like that?

“The ice should keep it.” I whispered.

We opened the trunk and Jonah stood close to me for privacy as I unclipped the case and opened the top. The southern California heat had melted most of the ice on the drive and Jonah and I sighed in unison.

“Can’t keep her out here in this humidity.” Jonah whispered.

“I know.” I closed the equipment case and locked the clips again, “Bring her in with us then. It’ll be safer anyway.”

Jonah and I each draped our own bags over our shoulders and then each took a side of the case to lift it out of the trunk and onto the pavement. It was much heavier with the bags of melted ice and we found ourselves staggering a little down the hotel hallway with the weight of it. Of course we had to be on the second floor meaning we had to wait for the elevator.

Have you ever waited for the slowest elevator in the country with a dead body in your suitcase in the wide open? Didn’t think so. It is probably the most torturous thing one could experience. Or…one of the most torturous things one could experience.

I wonder if Avalon suffered.

The room was, of course, the lightest colours possible; the walls painted a light blue and the furniture and sheets all a crisp white. Jonah and I set the equipment trunk on the light brown carpet between us once we stepped inside and we took a second to look around the perfectly clean room. Where was there a place to put a bloody body that wouldn’t raise suspicions from housekeeping the following day?

Jonah peeked into the washroom that was directly to our left and he flicked on the light. The white tile floor was lit by warm pot lights along the ceiling and framed with white walls and a wood toned accent wall behind the dual vanity. The stand-alone tub was against the far wall and sat empty and perfectly clean.

We exchanged silent glances before letting the hotel room door close behind us and we lifted the equipment case into the ensuite. With equal soft huffs, we set it down on the tile and I unclipped the lid to open it up. Each melted ice bag was drained down the tub and the plastic packaging was left on the tile while we situated ourselves on either side of the case. I slid my hands under Avalon’s arms and directed Jonah to take her ankles and we lifted her up together and carefully set her in the tub. She was getting stiff so we tried to keep her in the same position we needed to put her back in the case come morning.

Jonah stuffed the empty ice bags into the bottom of the equipment case with the stained towel from home and he pulled it out of the bathroom and into the corner of the main room to keep it out of the way. I sat on the side of the tub and silently eyed the body of my wife that was lain in front of me. She seemed paler than when we left home and I sat there, afraid to touch her like she was stranger again.

“I’m going to grab some ice from the machine down the hall, okay?” Jonah said.

I glanced over at him and simply nodded before turning back to Avalon.

“Are you alright here?” he questioned.

I nodded again.

He hesitated in the doorway but left the room anyway.  

I felt numb when I first found her and I felt numb staring at her now, only hours apart but at the same time it felt like months. My God; my heart hurt.

I got up from the side of the tub and went back into the main room to where my laptop case was left on one of the beds. My hoodie and jeans were still inside it and I pulled out my sweater to take back into the ensuite. I carefully slid Avalon’s arms in it and then tucked it over her head and down her torso before resting her back against the side of the porcelain tub. The light bloody handprint over the chest was easier to look at than the gash across her neck and the completely dark red colour of her clothes. She looked nicer in my clothes anyway.

I sat back on the side of the tub and let my eyes study her face again. She was staring at the wall with that eery blank expression and I carefully reached over to close her eyelids. She looked like she was sleeping. I liked to think that’s what she was doing anyway…seemed to feel a little easier that way.

I let out a soft breath and reached my hand down to brush my fingers over hers, feeling the coolness of her once warm skin. She was unfamiliar now but, at the same time, still nothing less than the supposed love of my life. I ran my thumb over her knuckles and across the diamond ring on her left hand.

The glass fell and shattered on the kitchen floor between us, silencing our screaming match except for our heavy breaths and Avalon’s sniffled tears.

I sighed at the realization that the whole confrontation went on too far and I tried to reach for her, but she pulled her hand back and moved away from me, “Aves.”

“Don’t.” she snapped.

“Avalon, I’m sorry, I-”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.” she retorted sharply, yet I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “I’m sleeping in the studio tonight.”

I swallowed thickly and nodded, glancing to the ground with a heavy heart, the pieces of broken glass shimmering in the kitchen light between us. She went to step around me but I instinctively reached out a hand to her to keep her back from accidently stepping on any broken glass, “Careful.”

“God, Daniel.” she huffed, “Please don’t.”

I didn’t make a move to stop her as she walked around me to storm across the living room and to the back door. She didn’t look back as she opened the sliding glass door and slipped out into the darkness that the falling night brought. I watched her disappear out of the house and into the backyard, her form fading from view like she had been a figment of my imagination the whole time, the cruelest most perfect kind of dream.

Oh, how I loved her. And I was so, so stupid.

I swallowed back my tears of realization as the pieces of the night came clearer to me. How I let her leave to the studio so easily, our last words spat in hatred, and how I could never truly apologize for not being the husband she wanted and deserved. I was too much of a coward and she was too good for me.

My tears came suddenly, breaking my breath in my chest with a shutter and I clenched my jaw to try and keep myself somewhat composed as the grief washed over me in heavy unbearable waves. I clutched her hand in mine and brought it up to my lips to press a soft kiss to her cold skin through my tears.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered shakily to her, only hoping somehow she could hear me. Wherever she was. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee​ @randomlimelightxxx​ @stuffofseaveyy​ @hopinglimelight​ @tempus-ut-luceant​ @br4nd1s​ @xkelsev​ @hiya-its-amber​ @sexyseavey15​ @the-girl-who-cried-wolf​

[silence-burns]

Please Hate Me //part 32

Fandom: Marvel 

Summary: Based on “Imagine having a love/hate relationship with Loki.” by @thefandomimagine

There comes a time in one's life when all is said, but still needs to be done, and in a heartbreaking majority of events, it also requires dressing up. 

You watched Loki pull on the ephemeral, golden threads shifting through the air around his face. "You sure it's working?"

"I know how to cast an illusion, darling," he muttered, focused on the mirror. "It's really not that hard."

"I don't see any difference." 

"You're not supposed to. It'll only work on strangers."

"So… We'll only know if it worked when someone screams?" 

"I'm touched by how much trust you put in my skills," Loki sneered, with eyes focused on his jaw. You wondered what the face he was working on looked like. Given the intensity, it must’ve been a work of art. 

Loki sealed the illusion and checked it from every angle. It felt so much better than the shabby mud that monk had plastered onto his face with little finesse. It might've worked against the less intellectual part of the population, but to anyone who had even the slightest knowledge of the high arts, it was no more than a laughable effort. 

Loki smiled, imagining the clash that would follow if the monk and his excuse of a sorcerer met the Asgardian magic wielders. It would be a sight worth paying for. Loki would make sure to get a seat in the front row. 

On the other hand, even he had to admit that the bracelet they came up with was a piece of work that he would never expect to find on Earth. Oh, he would've figured out how to get rid of it eventually, of course. There was no denying that. Loki might've figured it out earlier, if he… wasn't distracted. 

He looked at the source of his distraction in the mirror. It was that moment you found something in one of the pockets of your jacket. 

It was a phone. 

"I knew we forgot about something." 

"Is this…?" 

"That guy's phone. I didn't manage to unlock it in the end. How about we drop it at the precinct on our way?" 

Loki frowned. "Won't your officers be suspicious how we came into its possession?" 

"Not if we magic it in. Anonymously." 

"...that is not how it works." 

In the end, it was precisely how it worked. 

The phone, with a handy little note of explanation, just found itself at the right place, at the right time, without anyone at the precinct noticing. 

You patted Loki's shoulder. "Nice job. I wish you could teach me a few tricks." 

"It's not that easy. Your world barely has any magic, so it's difficult to make it comply with one's wishes," Loki said with a hint of sadness as you both turned and walked up the street in the direction of Peter's school. 

The streets were full of people, busy on their errands. The sun was blinding against the fresh scope of snow. The sky was clear and crystal blue, with the sort of unachievable intensity that almost felt artificial. 

"What is it like on other worlds?" 

Loki sighed. Walking so close to you, he could feel the brush of his arm against yours. His hands remained in his pockets, though. The reason wasn't the cold, of course, since he could barely feel the bite of it. His hands, for reasons beyond understanding, kept getting sweaty no matter how many times he discreetly brushed them against the fabric. 

"Spell casting is… essentially, wishing for something to happen, and convincing the world around you that it can become true. Magic is the means by which the world listens to those brave enough to wish. In your world, there's barely any magic. But there are others, where a mere thought shapes reality."

"Must be cool to see that." 

"It's almost like lying, truth be told. Ancient scholars used to classify it as the same thing, although mostly due to mistakes in translation of the most ancient volumes. Thankfully, I'm skilled in both. It makes life easier."

"Wait...so THAT'S where the whole 'Loki the Prince of Lies' thing comes from? Not that you're a lying, deceptive piece of—" 

"That's quite a touchy topic, you know. I might've… meddled in the lives of some very vengeful individuals, who out of pure, unjustified spite might've decided to curse me a little—... Wait, why are there children."

Loki stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the pavement. 

In front of him, as far he could see, stretched a sea of colorful stalls surrounded by a writhing mass of people, dominated by younglings in all shapes, forms, and levels of noise. 

You looked at him and back at the crowd. "It just kinda happens that this huge building right there is Peter's school. And this very school is organising the science fair for the kids attending it. Who, right now, are taking part in it. Here." 

Loki's frown deepened as he comprehended the mess. Groups seemed to form around the stalls, children and adults alike. It would be difficult for a stranger to guess what was being presented on some of the tables, and indeed, Loki couldn't guess it either. Some seemed to flash chemical reactions aimed to showcase colorful effects, mostly to the entertainment of the youngest offspring roaming freely around. Other tables were filled with equipment that surely took a lot of time to build, and even more to explain. Loki was quick to be bored by those. 

While swallowed by the crowds pressing on from every angle, you called Peter, pressing the phone to your ear close enough to hear him over the overwhelming noise. 

There were attempts at bringing order to the gathering, and some spaces had been less prone to chaos than others. Those, usually, were centered around food. 

"Ooh, I like that too," you said, putting the phone away at last. 

Following Loki's gaze, your eyes fell on the delicious looking snacks. The smell drove you insane and seemed to do the trick on the trickster too. You watched as some kids walked by, chewing on the deliciousness. Then you looked at the queue. A very orderly, and very long queue. 

"Hey, Loki." 

"Yes, darling?" 

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" 

"To my great surprise, I think I might be. Magic truly is a blessing." 

Peter found you not so long afterwards, when you were finishing the second round of magically-brought treats. Of course, you made sure an equivalent amount of cash appeared where it should. You didn't fall so low yet to outright steal from kids. 

"Mr. Mischief!" screamed over the heads of strangers was what caught Loki's attention. And the impact of a teenage body jumping right at him was what squeezed the air out of his lungs. 

"Hello, boy," Loki muttered. You gave him thumbs up. 

"I love the way you smell," Peter pressed his face a little more into the god's chest. 

Loki blinked. "Thank you, boy." 

Peter finally unplastered himself from the god and took the both of you in with such genuine joy that you couldn't stop a smile from spreading on your face. He was dressed up in a spotless shirt he kept tugging on. You whiffed a smell of cologne definitely not suited for his age. 

"Someone's nervous," you teased Peter. "I wonder what would've happened if we forgot your ring… " 

"Please, tell me you didn't!" 

"Of course we didn't." You pulled it out of your pocket. So many happy moments were connected to that ring, you almost missed it already. So much cake… 

Peter immediately tucked it away in the pocket on his chest, glancing around himself. If, by any chance, that one special someone was anywhere near, he wanted to know. 

He noticed you watching him. "I'm not nervous. I'm just cautious." 

"Whatever you say, Peter. It's your call." 

Despite his words, Peter couldn't stay in place. "Come on, guys. I gotta show you my project before we present them all!" 

Going any further into the mass of people was the last thing Loki wanted to do. The day was bright and chilly and the place Peter was leading them to was unmistakably a sports hall where the more ambitious, and temperature-sensitive projects had been placed. 

Loki, theoretically, of course, began wondering how he could disappear without anyone noticing. People got lost all the time and no one made a fuss about it. As much as he might not hate the kid, he wasn't interested much in high school projects of dubious chemical reactions, shown in stuffy, smelly interiors. 

As if you could hear his thoughts, you turned your head to face him. "I hope it works out. He's been working his ass off for the past few weeks to impress MJ." 

Before Loki answered, he noticed your outstretched hand. His heart skipped a beat, and jumped into his throat out of surprise. It was a pure coincidence, and a completely normal, random thing to feel, and there was absolutely nothing behind it…

Your hand was warm and felt right in his own. 

Of course Loki didn't get distracted. He just so happened to miss the moment when you reached Peter's lab table, densely occupied by all manner of gadgets and parts, with the main construction hovering above the rest. 

Peter didn't notice Loki's state. He was focused on all the things that still needed to be put in place or cleaned off the table before the presentation began. 

"It's okay, I've got it all under control," Peter said, hiding a few screws in his pocket. "The teachers are probably going to start with the tables over there, so mine would be second to last, which gives me plenty of time to—" 

Plans are good as long as all the parties involved are aware of them. In Peter's case, the teachers weren't. 

Peter's face went pale when he noticed the commission arriving at the table to his right. His eyes were wide and frozen in utter terror. 

And then he desperately tried to scramble everything together in record time.

You tried to help him, but you had absolutely no idea how. All you could do was watch him panic through the preparations at light speed. Loki squeezed your hand. "The boy will do fine." 

The boy was not so sure. 

He barely noticed when his classmates encircled the table, wishing him good luck and sharing advice that vanished from his head in seconds. 

Despite that, Peter managed to clean his table as much as he could before the teachers neared, with notepads in their hands. They tactfully ignored loose parts laying behind him. 

Loki caressed the back of your hand in a reassuring gesture. You both listened to Peter give the explanation of his project, with his voice wavering only a little. Peter started to go through all the steps he had prepared, pointing out all the important details as things you had no idea about changed on the table. The boy was pale, but did his best during the whole process, and as he moved to present the project, you almost believed he had everything under control. 

He didn't. 

In the moment of the biggest tension, when everyone was waiting for the results, they didn't come. 

There was a second of pure, unfiltered panic on Peter's face. He froze, eyes plastered to the unquestionable lack of any result. 

Your elbow jabbed Loki's ribs. The ribs were slowly getting used to it. 

"Please, help him," you whispered with urgency. 

"What am I supposed to do from here?" Loki frowned. He was tall and could see everything from over people's heads, but it didn't change the fact that there was a row of bodies tightly pressed together between him and the boy. 

"I don't know, magic something up." 

"Magic something—It doesn't work like that!" 

"Then make it. Are you the Prince of Lies or not?" 

Loki frowned, torn between looking at you and Peter at the same time. "Oh, blast it…" 

The results, preferably big and flashy, were what the commission was waiting for. Loki gave them results. 

Peter's eyes went wide when his project, that had been completely silent for the past few seconds, suddenly gave fruit to absolutely outstanding results. They were applauded, scored, and noted with grateful smiles as the commission moved to the next table. 

And completely not what was supposed to happen. 

Peter was still frozen in shock as he got encircled by his classmates, and showered in compliments and questions. The shock was still bright on his face as he was dragged further down the line of tables, to support the next unlucky friend. 

Loki followed the boy with his eyes. It looked like no one had noticed that something was not adding up. Loki had a very general idea of what Peter's project was supposed to do, since the lack of time prevented the boy from showing them the final product of weeks of hard work. He wondered which of the girls around Peter was that MJ. 

"I can't believe it worked," he muttered to himself, lost in thoughts just as Peter got lost in the crowd. 

"Thank you. You did great." 

Loki huffed, but couldn't stop the hint of a smile from ghosting over his lips. He supposed he'd have to answer a lot of questions once the boy was freed and jumped him again, but even that idea didn't feel so bad. It felt good to be appreciated and welcome in places and events that were important to someone. He was strangely glad someone wanted him to be a part of their life. 

Loki's breath caught in his throat as your arm slipped around his waist. A nervous, careful presence hugged him for a second, melting any and all resolve he might've still possessed at that point. 

"You're awesome. Wanna steal some more candy with me again?" your voice asked into his neck that suddenly ran with goosebumps. Accidentally, of course. 

But there was nothing accidental about the way Loki leaned into the hug, welcoming it with a feather-light touch to your back. 

"With you? Always, love."

A/N: Please tell me what do you think about this chapter or the series in general! It’s so sad to see the number of notes and comments decreasing with each new chapter :(

[juliandev0rak]

Slow Dance

In which Lysander and Beatrice try something new and only almost start a fire. 

characters: Lysander Lonan (of @leila-of-ravens), Beatrice Viano

pairing: Lysander Lonan x Beatrice Viano / Vianan

words: ~2900

warnings: f l u f f oh my god so much fluff

notes: alternate title- vianan are too in love to focus on their dinner

It’s a brisk afternoon in Umbra, one that has Beatrice wishing she’d brought her gloves. As they walk through the city towards the market, she looks to her right, noting that Lysander is better prepared for the weather with gloves on, a scarf around his neck, and his collar pulled up against the cold. The hand he’s holding is warm but her other, which holds a large wicker basket for their groceries, seems to be turning a bit blue. 

When Lysander notices her shivering he halts his quick walking pace and reaches for the basket. She hands it over gladly and casts a warming charm on her cloak before sliding her hand into her pocket. With the threat of hypothermia halted, she’s much cheerier and swings their entwined hands as they walk. After living here for nearly a year she’s still not used to the cold, but she must admit it has its benefits, like hand holding.

“Do you have the list?” She asks as the bustling market comes into view.

“I memorized it. It felt unnecessary to carry around a slip of paper,” Lysander replies, noticing the brief look of worry in Beatrice’s eyes.

“Well I would like to be able to double check, we haven’t made this recipe before,” She frets, already trying to remember what was on the list she’d written last night. Did they need celery? Or was it carrots? Perhaps they should get both just in case.

“We haven’t made any recipe before.” Lysander’s smile fades as the crowds become more dense around him and Beatrice squeezes his hand gently to focus his attention on her rather than the people around them.

“You’re right,” Beatrice laughs. “We’ll figure it out, we’re both intelligent right? How hard can cooking really be.” 

“You say that, but I recall the last time you tried to cook something the house nearly went up in flames.” He stops in front of a produce stand and gives her a half smile over his shoulder to let her know he’s joking.

“Oh hush, it was just a little smoke,” Beatrice scoffs, dropping his hand so she can rummage through the vegetables.

“A little,” He huffs, remembering the way they’d had to air out the house after, the both of them running around to open windows and doors. Once the smoke had cleared the house had been freezing cold from the winter air, and the two of them had sat in front of the fireplace for hours to get warm again. It’s a fond memory now that he thinks about it, but one he’d prefer not to repeat. 

Neither of them have any cooking skill, Lysander from a life lived with servants and a cook, and Beatrice from lack of interest (and a fair amount of kitchen mishaps). But, like many things over the last few years, they’d decided to learn together. They’d found an easy recipe for roast chicken in a book, something that claims to be “so simple a beginner can do it”. 

“Did you know that onions are one of the oldest known vegetables? According to historical records they’ve been cultivated for thousands of years.” Lysander watches as Beatrice places onions into the basket. She carefully lifts them up to inspect them, though if she’s being honest she has no idea what she’s looking for. Do onions grow ripe?

“I didn’t know that,” Beatrice replies, excited as always to learn something new. “Do you know why cutting onions causes tears? It’s because they release an invisible gas which irritates the eye.” 

“I’ve never cut an onion before, I didn’t know they did that.” Lysander starts gathering potatoes into the basket, carefully counting out the amount they need. “I suppose we’ll need a handkerchief on hand during our cooking, just in case.”

“I’ll lend you mine,” Beatrice jokes, reaching into her pocket to flash her monogrammed handkerchief in his direction. The monogram catches her eye, it still has the letter V on it and she thinks, with a smile, that she should probably replace it with her new last name. 

“That is most kind of you, Beatrice, but I hope neither of us are brought to tears over this dinner.” He gives her another half smile then turns to pay for the vegetables. They spend the rest of the shopping trip trading facts and stories about cooking. She tells him about the time she tried to cook for her aunt as a surprise and somehow got a metal pot stuck to the ceiling, and he tells her how he tried to bake a cake with Leila and they used salt instead of sugar.

“I usually leave the baking to Leith,” He laughs. The comment reminds Beatrice of how wonderful it is that she’s part of this family now too. She has her own stories with Leila and Leith, and even Lachlan. As she listens to Lysander talk about his family with that affectionate glint in his eye, she feels very lucky to be included.

By the time they leave the market it’s even colder out and it looks like snow is on the way, so they hurry home. Lysander grows more at ease the further they get from the market, so while the grocery basket is heavier the mood is lighter. Beatrice stays close to his side as they walk the few blocks home, and the chill wintery air doesn’t bother her in the slightest. 

Lorcan greets them at the door, nearly knocking Beatrice over in his haste to greet her. She pets him between his ears and grabs the basket from Lysander so he can greet the dog. As Lysander pets him, Beatrice places the basket down and unlatches her cloak before reaching to help Lysander with his outerwear. Her hands gently unwind the scarf from around his neck and he uses her proximity as an excuse to kiss her cheek. 

Beatrice smiles and kisses his cheek in return before reaching to help him out of his coat. When everything is put away in its place she makes her way to the kitchen where Lysander is busy unpacking the groceries. He carefully lines everything up on the counter, organizing the vegetables by size and color. Beatrice smiles at his focused expression, holding back a laugh as he holds two carrots up to compare them so he can get the order exactly right. Finally, she decides she needs to interrupt him before he starts organizing grains of salt.

“So, where do we begin?” She wraps an arm around the top of his shoulders as she leans over to read the recipe in the book laid out before them. It’s quite a large block of text, and she hopes they’ll be able to pull this off. 

“We need to get the oven heated first, and boil some water for the potatoes,” Lysander dictates. 

“That sounds simple enough! You can start the fire and I’ll get the water heated in no time.” Beatrice turns to find a pot and walks over to the faucet to fill it with water.

“Perhaps we should do this without magic?” Lysander suggests, raising an eyebrow as he watches her put her hands on the side of the pot to heat it with magic.

“I think we need every advantage we can get, my dear.” She focuses heat into her hands and the water begins bubbling almost immediately. She’s always been good with water, but heating her hands too hot aggravates her scar, so she’ll have to settle for a simmer as a head start.

“We might as well have you heat the chicken with your hands,” Lysander jokes as he starts the fire in the oven. She sets the pot down on the stove top to bring it to a full boil then turns to gently ruffle the front of his hair to brush it out of his eyes. His hair has gotten a bit longer than he usually keeps it, but Beatrice thinks it suits him. 

“That might be how the fire started last time,” She says, chagrined. “I was too impatient to wait for the stove to heat up.”

“We’ll just have to find a way to pass the time while we wait then,” He says, pulling her into his arms. She wraps her arms around his waist and smiles as his lips meet hers. They kiss for a moment, warmed by the steam rising from the stove. Beatrice pulls away first, twisting out of his embrace with a grin.

“We should prepare the vegetables, there’s a lot more to do. Dinner now, kissing later.” She tries to take a step away but Lysander reaches for her shoulder, keeping her in place as he leans down to her again.

“Is that a promise?” Lysander teases, pressing one last kiss to her cheek.

Beatrice leans up to whisper in his ear, “Of course it is.” She pulls away, “Now help me chop these vegetables or we’ll never get this dinner done.”

She hands him a carrot and picks up an onion, trying to figure out the best way to cut it. The recipe said to dice them, and she does her best to follow those instructions. Her eyes start to water as soon as she cuts into the onion, and a single tear rolls down the side of her face. She wipes her eye on her sleeve and sets the knife down.

“Are you alright, Beatrice?” Lysander sets his knife down next to hers and reaches for the side of her face, turning her towards him.

“Yes, I’m fine, it’s just the onions. Remember how I told you they irritate the eye?” She tries to resist the urge to rub at her eyes, knowing that’ll just hurt them more. He seems satisfied by her answer and turns back to his task. 

“What a peculiar vegetable,” He mutters and Beatrice laughs.

“Cooking is dangerous.” 

“It is when you do it,” Lysander says, placing his neatly chopped carrot into a bowl. He reaches for another, not noticing Beatrice scowling at him. He looks so intently focused on his task again that she has no choice but to smile again at the crease in his forehead and the way he bites his lip slightly in concentration.

Half an hour later they’re placing the chicken into the oven. There’s been a distinct lack of kitchen mishaps so far and Beatrice is feeling quite proud of herself. She turns to Lysander with a grin on her face as he shuts the oven door, “We did it!” 

“Technically we haven’t succeeded yet, it still has to cook,” He says and she reaches a finger to his lips to shush him.

“Think positively, darling.” Beatrice leans up to give him a quick peck on the lips. They go to set the table next, deciding to sit in the formal dining room instead of the kitchen table to make things more fancy. Beatrice sets out silverware as Lysander folds napkins. He seems to be spending a long time folding them, and when Beatrice looks over she notices he’s folded the cloth into the shape of a bird.

“Where on earth did you learn to do that?” She asks, “You’re full of surprises.” 

“I read about it in a book once.” Lysander straightens the edge of the napkin and takes a step back, inspecting his work like an artist.

“Well, you’ve always been good with your hands...” Beatrice smirks over her shoulder at him as she returns to the kitchen, leaving Lysander to stare after her incredulously. He follows her a moment later and finds her sitting perched on the kitchen table, looking as if she was waiting for him. 

“You’ve become an incurable flirt, Beatrice.” Lysander takes a step towards her, his arms going around her waist. She giggles lightly and leans in to kiss the corner of his jaw.

“I’ve always been like this, you just weren’t paying attention.” 

“That is probably true,” He laughs, leaning down towards her, “but I certainly notice you now.” 

“You do.” Beatrice leans forward to rest her forehead against his and he sighs, gently winding his hand into her hair.

“I do.” 

Lysander leans in to kiss her then, and she melts into it as he pulls her closer. When he pulls away they stay with their heads pressed together, and she breathes in his familiar scent of earl grey. He’s still got his arms around her and after a moment, he starts to sway with her as if they’re dancing. 

He steps back from the table and offers her his hand, “May I have this dance, Mrs. Lonan?” 

She takes the offered hand and smiles, “Why of course you may.”

Beatrice gets down from the table and straightens her posture to the proper waltz position and Lysander echoes her movement as he begins to lead them in a circle around the kitchen. Despite the kitchen being quite spacious Beatrice nearly runs into a table as he spins her, the two focused on each other rather than their surroundings. Though they don’t have any music playing, she thinks dancing in the kitchen is much preferable to dancing in a ballroom. After a few slow turns about the room they stop, dizzy and a bit out of breath from laughter. 

Beatrice closes the distance between them again, her lips pressing to his in a more fervent kiss than before. Lysander kisses her back as he gently pushes her against the wall by the door. She hooks her leg around his to pull him even closer and he opens his mouth in surprise, giving her the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss. She runs her hands over his shoulders, careful not to touch his back, and wishes she could feel his soft skin instead of the fabric of his shirt. 

Lysander seems to have the same idea and he reaches to untuck her sweater from her skirt. His warm hands make their way up her cold skin, one moving up her spine, the other ghosting up the side of her waist. Her hands reach for the buttons of his shirt and she manages to undo the top few without breaking the kiss. His fingers just ghost under the curve of her breast before he suddenly pulls away, nearly biting her tongue in his haste. She looks at him in confusion as he stares around the room as if searching for something. 

“Beatrice, is the chicken burning?”

“We didn’t set a timer!” Beatrice rushes out of his arms and across the kitchen. When she opens the door of the oven she’s met with a puff of smoke. 

“Is it burnt?” Lysander peers over her shoulder. When the smoke clears they find the chicken is only the slightest bit burnt, the vegetables only a little blackened. “I think that’s salvageable.”

“I’m cursed.” Beatrice throws her arms in the air to punctuate her statement, trying not to be too disappointed that the meal hadn’t turned out perfectly. 

Lysander places the chicken on the counter to cool a bit and pulls her into a hug, resting his head on her shoulder. “I think it’s a perfectly acceptable first attempt.” 

“You’re distracting,” She huffs, but hugs him back.

Though the meal is a bit overcooked, they’re proud of the dinner they’ve made together. The wine is good, the conversation even better, and by the time their plates are cleared Beatrice is feeling better about the success of the meal. She regards Lysander across the table from her and sets her glass down so she can take his hand. 

“We make a pretty great team,” She smiles.

“I suppose that’s why I married you.” Lysander replies, his thumb running a gentle circle over hers.

“For my cooking skills?” Beatrice teases.

“Definitely not.” He responds so quickly that Beatrice can’t help but laugh. They get up to wash the mountain of dishes together, Beatrice washing and Lysander drying. As they work Beatrice can’t help but hum under her breath, the happiness bubbling out of her like the soap she’s using. 

“So why did you marry me then?” Beatrice asks as they start to put the dishes away.

“I love you, why wouldn’t I marry you?” Lysander looks a bit confused at her question, she finds his befuddlement entirely too endearing. He puts the last of the cutlery away and turns to look at her, watching as face blushes pink.

“That’s a good reason to marry someone.” Her voice has gone quiet with affection as she meets his dark eyes with her own.

Lysander takes a step towards her and pulls her in by the waist, “Why did you marry me?”

“You already know,” She murmurs.

“It’s always nice to hear it again,” He prompts her, and she doesn’t need to be convinced. She’ll gladly tell him how she feels about him, she never wants to stop reminding him.

“Because I love you, of course.” She smiles as he leans in to kiss her cheek.

“That is indeed a very good reason to marry someone.”

[cassandraclare]

September flash fiction: James and Matthew’s parabatai ceremony

THE CITY OF BONES, 1900

On the morning of his parabatai ceremony, Matthew Fairchild walked through Highgate Cemetery, past the tall stone tombs and long grass wet with dew, until he reached the entrance leading down into the Silent City. He tried not to be nervous.

“I was exceedingly apprehensive on the day of my wedding ceremony,” Henry had told him at breakfast. “You know how poorly I thought of myself when I was young—I believed your mother couldn’t possibly love me as I loved her. And you know how absentminded I can be. I repeated the words over and over, and I was so sure I would get them wrong that when the time came I just blurted them all out at once. All went swimmingly in the end, save for the small matter of the scorched flowers. But that’s another tale.”

“Thank you for the advice, Papa,” Matthew said, leaning affectionately against his father’s Bath chair. “But I must point out that I’m not marrying James. Though I would be a vision in bridal lace.”

Henry grinned up at him. “Why would you be wearing the dress?”

“You can’t think I would permit James to do it,” said Matthew. “He has no sense of style.”

To his surprise, the ceremony was packed densely with guests. Family and friends would be expected, but Matthew understood that most of the people were here for the spectacle, or for political advantage. The Consul’s son, and the son of the head of the Institute, whose mother was a warlock.

The crowd was so thick, Matthew could barely see the skulls set in the walls. Brother Zachariah was waiting in the center of the chamber where the ceremony would be performed, a figure of profound stillness in his parchment-colored hood and cloak.

James called Brother Zachariah “Uncle Jem” and adored him. Today eldritch fire for the ceremony woke strange shadows on his face, and Matthew was a little afraid. The whole London Enclave was assembled here to see the ceremony performed. Matthew had absolute faith in James, but if something went wrong, the Council might never let them try again. James’s parentage had so far had no effect on his ability to receive Marks or otherwise be an active Shadowhunter, but the parabatai ceremony was a stranger, more transcendent bit of magic, and nobody knew for sure that it would turn out as expected.

Several members of the Enclave had taken Matthew aside and warned him in an avuncular fashion not to make any rash decisions, so Matthew had pleaded with his mother to set a date for their parabatai ceremony as soon as possible.

Matthew gave a particularly dark look to Mr. Bridgestock, recently made Inquisitor. Awful Bridgestock, whose first name was Maurice and it served him right, had said Matthew was a very promising young warrior, and that he shouldn’t blight his bright future. Matthew told him he knew what he was doing, that his family was supportive, and he assumed the Clave would stand behind the ceremony as well.

“I have nothing but respect for your family,” Bridgestock had said, “but they often…ignore the opinions of others. Sometimes to their detriment.”

Matthew would have liked to give Bridgestock a piece of his mind, but of course he could not. Instead he smiled, and told Bridgestock that he appreciated the advice but that he was firm in his decision.

He tried to push his way through the crowd and find James. Instead his ear was caught by the whisper of his own name.

“I simply can’t believe Fairchild is being such a fool,” a boy called Albert Breakspear said to his companion, Bertram Pounceby. “I saw that fellow turn into a shadow at the Academy, you know. Horribly ghastly thing to witness.”

Pounceby sniggered. “I can’t believe the Clave gave their approval. The parabatai ceremony is meant to be an honor, for the best among us. Not for ruffians who got expelled from school.”

“It’s all politics,” scoffed Breakspear. “Son of the head of the London Institute, son of the Consul—it doesn’t matter how much of an embarrassment they are, strings will be pulled and they’ll get what they want.”

“I bet it won’t even work,” said Pounceby. “There is no way the Angel will accept them as parabatai. Can you imagine if Herondale turns into a shadow when Fairchild tries to put the parabatai rune on him?”

“Don’t be so sure you’re on the side of the Angel,” Matthew said mildly. “I know what you lot got up to in school.”

Both boys spun around. Matthew gave them his most charming smile.

“Didn’t realize I was standing behind you?” he asked. “What an awkward situation for you.”

“Rather,” James agreed, in his quiet voice, and Matthew startled. He hadn’t realized James was even nearby, but there he was: hair a wreck, book tucked under his arm, face slightly paler than usual. He must have heard everything.

Matthew seized James by the elbow and dragged him around a corner so they could be alone among the skulls. He felt the tension running along James’s body. When he released James, he saw the tightness around his mouth, and feared he was very upset.

“We can call the ceremony off,” James said.

“I don’t want to call the ceremony off!” Matthew said. “Do you—do you want to call the ceremony off?”

James blinked his golden eyes like an owl. “Of course not. But if I do turn into a shadow… I know how it would reflect on you.”

“I shouldn’t care if you did, but I see no reason why you should become a shadow,” Matthew said firmly. “You never have when other Marks were put on you. I shall not be threatening you in any way. Unless you do change your mind, of course, in which case I shall chase after you, belaboring you with my fists.”

James grinned, his face brightening, and Matthew beamed back at him.

“If you’re going to belabor me with your fists, I don’t know if I want you going where I goest.”

“Too bad,” Matthew said. “Whither thou goest, I shall go. Just try and stop me.”

#

They stood in two separate rings of fire, ready to be joined. Brother Zachariah conducted the ceremony before the eyes of the Enclave and everyone James and Matthew loved.

“Entreat me not to leave thee, or return from following after thee. For whither thou goest,” Matthew promised, “I will go.”

Their voices mingled like the colors of the dancing flames, and Matthew remembered trying so hard to befriend James at the Academy. He’d begged James’s father to take him to London, saying he and James were going to be parabatai, the greatest and most audacious lie Matthew had ever told. Now his lie had become truth.

“And where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.”

James and Matthew had both chosen their fathers as witnesses, and Will stepped forward first. He looked at his son, and Matthew too, sweeping them up in a fierce and tender gaze. Henry wheeled himself to join them, red hair and silver chair catching the light. He smiled up at Matthew and James with an absolute approval that Matthew was very grateful to have.

“Where thou diest, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also,” James said, calling on Raziel in his clearest voice, “If aught but death part thee and me.”

Matthew thought of the Angel. He had always been mostly dismissive of the honor-death-and-glory bits of being of a Shadowhunter. He supposed he believed in Raziel, but he never gave the fellow much thought. He believed there was more to life than blood and fire. There was beauty, there was art, there was color. Perhaps Raziel knew his heart wasn’t in the fighting. Perhaps Raziel didn’t approve.

They stepped through the flames.

Did those flames burn higher than they had at other ceremonies? For just a moment, did the hearts of the fire burn black instead of blue? It was his imagination, Matthew decided. They were through, after all, and James’s hand stayed flesh in Matthew’s own, stayed steady as he drew the parabatai rune on the inside of Matthew’s left wrist.

James wanted his Mark on his shoulder, because, he had said, he knew Matthew would always be at his back in battle. Matthew had rolled his eyes, but felt a surge of affection; James’s sincerity was one of his best features, even if it did get him into trouble. When Matthew finished inscribing the rune on James’s shoulder blade, when it was complete, he gave a great sigh of relief. He felt the assembled audience sigh too. It was done, and it had been fine.

The flames shot to the ceiling and the dark hollow eyes of skulls watched them in the place of their ancestors, and they were sure of each other forever. When souls were knit, nobody could tear them apart.

The Breakspears and Pouncebys didn’t matter at all. Only James and Matthew’s families, their friends. When they stepped out of the fiery circles, Will was there to catch them both in an embrace. Lucie came forward to congratulate them, her ringlets rebelliously escaping from her ribbons and her blue eyes wide. Matthew had to glance away from how pretty she looked; it was almost too much for him. Now Tessa was hugging James, and Matthew’s mother was reaching down to touch his father’s hand where it rested on the arm of his chair.

Thy people will be my people, Matthew thought, and promised himself to love the Herondales as his own. Beneath the hood, he glimpsed a slight smile on Brother Zachariah’s rune-sealed mouth, and Matthew smiled back at him. Matthew was suddenly certain he would love Jem too, that he would love everything James loved. Other people might go through the world uncertain and alone, but not Matthew: now wherever he wandered, whenever he called out, there would be an answer. He would never walk anywhere alone.

[reducttiddi3es]

Feels Right Monty x OC- Requested

REQUEST:   @vintagemac94 Hey🌸, I just came across your blog and loved the Monty love I saw there those two stories were pretty awesome. Could I pls make a request for MontyxOc where she has a boyfriend in college but when she moved to town and transferred to Liberty High she fell for Monty because of the amazing chemistry they had when they first met... As much as she wanted to stay loyal the connection her and Monty had proved too strong to ignore and she let the temptation take over💜. Tysm

I really enjoyed writing this, so much so that I had to split it up into parts XD. I will put the second part up soon(once I complete it that is)

hope ya’ll enjoy it. requests are always open.

WORDS: 1389

MASTERLIST

“Ok, babe. I’ll call you tonight. I can’t afford to go late on the first day of school”

“No, Soph, you call me in break time ok.”

“Ugh, fine. I love you but I really got to go now”

I hung up smiling about how much my boyfriend cared for me. We had been together for a little more than a year and it was going great. He was a little possessive but that’s because he loves me. Right?

I ran down the stairs excited for my first day at Liberty high.

“Morning, mom. Hey dad”, I said kissing both of them.

“Here, have your breakfast and then we’ll leave”

*

“Have a nice day, sweety.”

“Bye dad”

I walked into the massive property of Liberty high which was crowded with noisy teens. I looked around, there were the cheerleaders, nerds, punks and the jocks. Ugh.

I never really fit in with most of these groups. I am friendly but I’d rather be alone. But I had promised myself to make friends.

I looked around and spotted a boy and a girl talking, they seemed nice.

“Hey, I’m Sophie Miller. I’m new here, can you please tell me the way to the counsellor’s office”

“Hey, I’m Hannah Baker.”

“I’m Clay Jensen. Well I was just heading there to take the new students on the school tour.” He laughs.

“Well then you can give me a little preview” I said before we bid goodbye to Hannah and headed towards the counsellor’s office. Wow. Its gonna take some time to memorize all these hallways.

*

The day went by well, I had a few classes with Clay and others with Hannah, so I didn’t have to put in the effort of socializing.

I sat at their table during lunch. They were so sweet, and we talked about random stuff while they told me a little more about the school.

As soon as the bell rang, we all moved towards our next class, when I realized that the next class, I had neither Clay nor Hannah with me. They showed me towards my classroom before going off towards their own. I walked in slowly, almost as if I was walking into a dense cave. I walked slowly to a bench at the end of the class, satisfied that I had caught the attention of nobody, or at least that’s what I thought.

I managed to get away from the “new girl introduction” bit successfully. Since it was the last class of the day, I went out towards the parking lot wondering where my dad was.

*

 Things went on quite smoothly for the next few days. By smooth I mean little to no social interaction except with Clay, Hannah and a few teachers. It felt nice, like I could fit in, that I did not need my boyfriend as a barrier between me and the world. Jake (boyfriend) had asked me to call him at least 5 times a day. It was getting a little annoying, but I had to, after all he agreed to me going away to another town. It was the least I could do for him.

It had been almost a week in school and it is safe to say I still don’t know anyone other than Clay and Hannah, I mean I did make efforts to make friends but it seemed as if everyone had their friend groups filled already.

“Honey, I’m so sorry but you’ll have to walk to school this week”, my dad told me as he was getting ready to catch his flight to go on a business trip.

“Don’t worry dad, I CAN walk to school. It isn’t far” I chuckled.

*

Monday morning came soon, I got up realizing that I had to walk to school and so I had to be quick. But after all I’m as slow as a sloth bear. I ran, literally ran out of my house without breakfast, racing with the wind. God, I’m going to be late.

“Hey, careful.”

In the haste of getting to school on time, running like a mad-man on the streets, I did not realize when I bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking, so sorry.” I said sweating and almost at the verge of freaking out. “I didn’t see, I don’t- I’m sorry”

“Oh god, shhh, quiet”, that someone clasped a hand over my mouth with the other slowly rubbing up and down my back. This somehow immediately calmed me down. I looked up to meet the eyes of this kind stranger.

I looked into his deep hazel colored eyes, and I felt something. Something, that I can’t explain. Something I haven’t felt before. Something that was nice. I was so lost in his eyes that I did not realize that I had literally been gawking at him.

“You’re a weird girl, aren’t you” he laughed.

I snapped out of my bliss and gave him a confused smile.

“And a pretty one” he added, sending more shivers down my spine. His smile was so confident, so sweet yet almost like a smirk oozing with arrogance.

“Why are you walking to school today? Do you need a ride?” he asked.

I was shocked he knew as much as he did. And I guess it was written all over my face. He added “I go to the same school. I’ll give you a ride, it’s not very safe to leave you unsupervised right now”, he laughed.

He walked over to a jeep parked near the sidewalk and sat confidently in the driver’s seat, sure that I would follow him. And I did. I don’t know why I did it but I did. I sat down in the passenger seat.

“I’m Sophie. Sophie Miller” I said mustering up the most confidence I could and smiled at him.

“I’m Montgomery. Montgomery De La Cruz. But I prefer Monty” he said mimicking me. But I wasn’t offended, in fact I smiled at him wider than before. “Monty” I said softly.

*

The entire ride we spoke about tons of things. I’m not saying we had many things in common in fact we didn’t but it did not feel awkward. Also did I mention that that he was the hottest person I’d ever seen (still is). I hadn’t gotten the chance to see him that well considering I was near-freaking out over stumbling into him but when we reached school and he got off the car, the radiation of the morning sun hitting his skin in all the right places making him look more godly than he did before, had taken my breath away. Wow.

My feet carried me to class, my hands carried my books, physically I was in class but my mind could focus on nothing but Monty. His voice echoed inside my head; his soulful laugh made me smile like an idiot without realizing that I was in class.

“Miss Miller, is there something that you want to share with the class, so that all of us can laugh”

My face turned red at the teacher’s voice and I shook my head. The bell rang before she could go any further. The entire day, I barely payed attention to any class, my brain flooded with images of Monty (funny how I could imagine him in ways I’d not even seen him).

I absent mindedly walked out of the school towards home, still smiling wide. All of sudden a car pulled up next to me. The window rolled down.

“You know you can’t just ditch me, today morning was certainly not a one-time thing” he said smirking.

“N-no I was-“

“Oh God, just get in sweetheart” he laughed, the nickname leaving his lips effortlessly.

***

It had been a week and my dad was back home but I still drove with Monty to school. We had gotten incredibly close, I went to his games and we spent a lot of time together after school, gaming, listening to music, I even tutored him while he failed to teach me baseball. But the most wonderful time was when we sat together and talked about random things. Monty had gotten me to feel so good about myself, I had become more confident. It felt nice.

We were jamming to some music while riding to school when my phone rang.

Jake.

MASTERLIST

[multisfabulis]

Land’s Trust in Light

Arrival in Thornewind (Chapter 1/6)

Word Count: 4090

Oh, look, a new Corona's Shadow entry that doesn't feature Verreth? That's possible?!

I kid but it honestly feels good to not be writing Verreth for CS for a little bit. CS was never meant to be a Verreth love story, it only ended up like that because I went straight into writing "The Road to Forgiveness Be Damned" after finishing "A Single Ray of Light in a Sea of Darkness" because I simply wanted to write more Ven and I started to regret my decision around the time I wrote the rough version of the third chapter. Obviously, I stuck with that decision to the end but it was throughout that time I had wants to write Verreth and I wrote those as well. However, all the Verreth segments are what I consider to be side stories, which I know may be hard to believe but trust me, because Ven and Ferreth are not the main protagonists of CS. Eric, if anyone remembers him, is. The Verreth segments were only added to the CS series because I didn't want to make a whole new series entirely focused on Verreth and take them out of something they are main characters of.

Does this mean I'm done writing Verreth? For now, yes. Outside of occasional updates to "Only Through Acceptance Will Love Find Us", I wanna focus on both this and other smaller projects, like RLD and fanfics. Just in case anyone's lost hope, the next big project is Verreth-related, with Ferreth taking the protag role a la TRFBD. Let's just say we're finally getting a look at his backstory and a reason as to why he has self-worth issues.

God, it feels great to be writing in Eric's POV again. It's been over 2 years since I finished ASRLSD so I am making the most of this!

Surprisingly enough, there wasn't much change during the transition from rough draft to publication, which actually made this harder to write. I'm so used to there being at least one major change that I got tripped up by this. The only major change here is the addition of descriptors and needed elaboration and those, I feel like, are key to "beautifying" writing so I don't count those.

One last thing is the "flirting" present in here. I honestly don't know if that can be considered flirting because I'm not someone who flirts or is flirted with on a daily basis. I'm pretty much the dense harem anime protagonist so please forgive me for the terrible flirting.

Read on AO3 | Read on DA | Support me on Ko-fi!

     Thornewind was gorgeous. Sure, Eric was looking at it from a distance atop Asha, but it made one hell of a good first impression. Thornewind seemed colorful and vibrant and he wanted to explore every last inch of it. He gently kicked Asha’s side and she began walking at a slow, leisurely pace.

     Thornewind was a town nestled in the mountains north of Aurora Zenith. The tiny glimpse he saw of it left him awestruck, from its tall, rich buildings packed closely together to its bright windmills scattered across its many open fields. Then there was the sight that awaited him over the ridge, stealing his breath away.

     There were tulips that stretched as far as the eye could see. A sea of blue, red, orange, pink, and yellow blossoms swayed in the summery breeze. It was strange how all these tulips were in bloom when Augvesta had just rolled around but he didn’t put much thought into it. Botany was more of Ven’s expertise and she would be positively thrilled upon seeing this.

     It was soon after crossing the garden he arrived at the entrance. It surprised him to see how lax security was if they let a complete stranger in without so much as a request for papers. He didn’t mind it, though; it just struck him as odd since no one was allowed entry if they weren’t deemed trustworthy back in his childhood home. He and Asha passed through the threshold and was rendered speechless.

     Towering brick buildings loomed over him while a rainbow of others stood further ahead of him. Paths of smooth stone ran in every direction, the opposite of Aurora Zenith’s dirt roads that swept up dust with enough energy behind it. He could hear the tinkling of wind chimes and the fervor of voices all around him. Thornewind certainly had Brinegarde beat in its lively atmosphere.

     He hopped off Asha, making sure to keep the reins in a firm grip. Her deep brown eyes met his as he slowly put a hand on her face and stroked. She didn’t flinch, which was a good sign of progress.

     “You’re such a good girl, Asha,” he murmured, moving his hand down to stroke her neck. “Let’s find a place for you to rest, hmm?”

     It didn’t take long to find a stable. He led her into one of the empty stalls and fed her a couple sugar cubes as a reward for all the hard work she’d done over the past two weeks. The last thing he did was tell the stableman how to care for her during her stay and that he’d be checking up on her daily. Waving goodbye to Asha, it was time to explore Thornewind.

     With it being mid-afternoon, it was pleasantly warm as people crowded the streets on their day-to-day routine. The sound of the wind chimes grew louder and the scent of delicious meals made his mouth water in anticipation. Thank god his anxiety wasn’t ruining this for him. He could hardly contain the bounce in his step as he excitedly toured around the busy thoroughfares. It was rare for him to see and visit new places so he wanted to make the most of this trip.

     There were two things he noticed. First was that most of the people he saw weren’t humans nor were they elves. Their ears were similar to Ven’s and they had what seemed to be like fangs sticking out from their upper lips. What really threw him off, though, were their sizes. Many of them were easily a foot or so taller than him just from a distance and were definitely well-built. Whatever these people were, they’ve caught his eye and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enticed.

     Then there were the stares. He initially thought they were wondering what a human was doing here till he realized it was what he wore. It wasn’t like he was wearing an extravagant suit but he still clearly looked like a noble, or so he assumed. He wasn’t trying to show people up. He was just taught to always dress his best for important events and he considered his reason for being here to be one such.

     Now came the realization he was lost. He had become so engrossed in his surroundings, an hour flew by without him noticing. He needed to find the lord of this town and talk with them about the relationship between them and Aurora Zenith. Allies were essential in political affairs, after all. The bad part was, he had no idea on where to start looking.

     Well, as much as he hated to, he had to ask someone for directions. It couldn’t be that hard, right? All he’d have to do is go up to a random person, ask them on how to get to the lord’s house, and that’d be it. Simple and easy!

     He felt a hand touch his shoulder and heard a voice ask, “Hey, are you okay?”

     He let out a startled shriek and turned to face the stranger. There was a man in front of him with his hands up in a conciliatory manner towards him. One of the first things he noticed was just how big he was.

     He’d never seen anyone taller than Alek before and it honestly unnerved him. The man had the same pointed ears and fangs as everyone else so he must’ve been one of the not-human, not-elf people. He had dark brown skin, messy brown hair with a small braid that reached his shoulders, and bright green eyes. What was really peculiar about him were the bandages starting from the middle of his arms and ending all the way down to his fingertips. He was definitely hiding something underneath those but Eric could care less about what right now.

     “Hey, hey, hey, calm down, okay?” the man said in a soothing tone. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

     “I would hope not!” Eric breathed in, placed a hand on his chest, and breathed out. “It’s not every day some random stranger walks up, claps a hand on my shoulder, and asks if I’m okay right in my ear.”

     “Well, you seemed troubled so I thought you might’ve needed help,” the man replied, putting his hands down.

     Feeling rather embarrassed with himself for that pathetic display, he cleared his throat and asked, “As a matter of fact, I do. Could you please tell me where the lord of this town is, I need to speak with them right away.”

     “You wanna talk to Bris?”

     “If that’s their name, then yes. I have some important business to discuss with them.”

     “He’s not far from here, I can take you to him if you want.”

     That would probably be the best course of action. He was never good at memorizing directions and reciting them to himself only confused him more. He had no one to blame but himself for being in this situation to begin with so…

     “Sure, that’d be great,” Eric conceded. At least this guy was kind and generous enough to show him the way there.

     “All right, let’s make our way over there.” The two men began walking down a street that wasn’t as busy as before. “By the way, my name’s Ferreth.”

     “I’m Eric, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, flashing him a friendly smile.

     “So what brings someone like you to our fair town of Thornewind?” Ferreth asked. “I thought I’d recognized all our visitors since those don’t come by very often.”

     “It’s as I said. I’ve traveled a long way to see Bris in the hopes of discussing important business with him.”

     “What kind of business? Are you an important person?”

     “I’d say being lord counts as pretty important. I’ve come all the way from Aurora Zenith to see if our two towns could potentially become allies.”

     “Oh, wow. I, uh, didn’t think someone as cute as you could be lord.”

     He tilted his head in both curiosity and confusion. “I don’t see what my appearance has to do with anything but I can assure you I wasn’t lying.”

     “I didn’t think you were. I just wasn’t expecting a man in your position to be so…good-looking.”

     “So what were you expecting?”

     “You know, somebody the complete opposite. I mean, I’m figuring you’re, like, smart, charismatic, kind, and everything else Bris is like.”

     Ah, that’s what was happening here. He had an inkling of it the first time Ferreth mentioned his appearance but now he was sure. Alek had never done it with him and there wasn’t really a need for him to. As flattered as he was by it, his heart was and always will be Alek’s.

     Chuckling, he said, “Well, I think my boyfriend would agree with you on some of those things but I’m more modest about them.”

     “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ferreth had a defeated smile on his face, gracefully accepting his loss. Eric liked how easygoing he was.

     “So what’s your relationship with Bris like?” he asked.

     “Oh, me and him are best friends. We’ve known each other since childhood but I’d say we’re more like brothers than friends by this point.”

     “Sounds like you get along with him really well.”

     “Don’t get me wrong, Bris and I have had our fair share of arguments but what friendship hasn’t? We have each others’ backs and no fight’s ever gonna change that.”

     Ferreth had a certain fondness in his voice when he spoke about Bris. It was easy to see the love and devotion he held for Bris and it warmed Eric’s heart. He was admittedly envious of their friendship. He never had any friends as a child aside from Alek and, while Alek’s irreplaceable, he wished he was able to make some back then. At least that seemed to be changing with him befriending Ven during his trip to Brinegarde so maybe he still had a chance to form everlasting relationships.

     “Here we are!”

     The two stopped before a giant windmill. Dark red brick made up the exterior and the blades turned gently in the breeze, creaking ever so slightly. There were hardly any windows aside from the two in front and there was a wraparound balcony set up just below the wooden roof. Eric didn’t know windmills could be habitable, which made him want to live here if only a little.

     “Wow…”

     “Let’s go on up, shall we?”

     They climbed up the stone steps leading to the front door. It was a tall, dark wooden door stretching up towards the wraparound balcony, with a black, wrought iron ring on the side as its knocker. Before he could think of a script in his head, Ferreth grabbed the ring and hit it against the door a few times.

     Almost immediately after, a woman answered. She wasn’t much taller than him, though he figured the top of his head would be just scraping her chin, and the slim blue dress she wore did little to hide her defined muscles. She had porcelain skin, long, wavy rose pink hair flowing down to her waist, and sandy brown eyes, reminding him of the shores of Aurora Zenith’s beaches. She was stunningly beautiful and his throat felt suddenly dry.

     “Ah, Ferreth, are you here to see Master Brirsyrun today?” she asked. Her voice sounded soft and airy like a lovely breeze.

     “Hey, Aissyl, I’m actually here because my new friend wanted to speak with Bris regarding some important matters, right?” Ferreth put a hand squarely on Eric’s back and pushed him forward slightly.

     “Oh, uh, yes!” he spoke quickly. “My name is Eric Travere and I’m the lord of Aurora Zenith. I’m here today because I needed to talk to Brirsyrun about improving the relationship between our two towns.”

     “I see. I shall ask Master Brirsyrun if he’ll see you now, please wait a moment.” She closed the door.

     That could have gone a little better, he thought as he released a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in. He heard Ferreth trying to stifle a laugh from beside him and promptly wanted to die. Guess he wasn’t the only one she had that effect on, if this has happened before.

     “She’s pretty, isn’t she?” Ferreth asked, pretending like he didn’t know the answer.

     “Yes, well, I can’t deny that she’s quite beautiful,” he replied, clearing his throat. “Have you tried anything with her?”

     “When I first met her, yeah, and she swiftly turned me down.” He clicked his tongue, as if remembering the memory wasn’t pleasant. “Let’s just say she’s not interested in men like us. Or any man, really.”

     Before he could say any more, the woman known as Aissyl opened the door and invited them inside. The room he entered seemed to be what he’d liken to a waiting room or lounge. What little of the walls he saw that weren’t decorated in exquisite murals were painted a warm honey color. There were a couple of cushioned chairs sitting by the small window and a low table set in front of them. He didn’t have time to check out much more before Aissyl led them through an arched threshold into another room he presumed to be Bris’ office.

     It wasn’t terribly big but it worked fine for its purpose. Unlike the lounge, the walls were a cerulean blue, similar to the sky at dawn before the sunrise. There were tall bookcases standing on one side of the room and a spiral staircase leading up to the second floor on the other. A leather chair sat behind a pine desk atop a nondescript forest green rug. He figured the unusual empty space in front of the desk was for additional chairs if they had guests over. They must not get many of them if they hadn’t gotten a chair specifically for this room. A man was sitting at the desk when he looked up and Eric believed him to be Bris.

     The first thing he noticed was the cream-colored scarf worn around his neck, which he found odd since it was late summer. He looked to have a lean yet muscled body and, when he stood up, seemed to be just shy of Aissyl’s height. He had sun-kissed skin, cropped blond hair, and cloudy gray eyes. A smile broke out across his face upon seeing Ferreth and he walked around his desk.

     “Hey, I was wondering when I’d see you,” said Bris.

     “Well, I was planning on coming by here anyway but my new friend here--” Ferreth wrapped an arm around Eric’s shoulders, making him jump slightly-- “needed help finding you so why not save a trip?”

     “Right.” Bris walked up and offered a hand. “I’m Brirsyrun, son of Nulzrot and Tallo of the air.”

     That was a…unique way of introducing himself, he thought curiously as he put his hand in Bris’ and said, “I’m Eric Travere, lord of Aurora Zenith.”

     “Aissyl said you had some important matters to discuss?”

     “Yes, well, I wanted to talk with you regarding the relationship between Thornewind and Aurora Zenith.” He took a step forward, shrugging off Ferreth’s arm. “You see, I’m planning on going to the rest of the major cities and asking them for their cooperation. In simpler terms, I’m in want of allies. I already have the town of Brinegarde as one so Thornewind’s my second stop.”

     “I see. Well, I’d like to talk more of this tomorrow morning because I have some things that need attending to today. Will that be all right with you?”

     “No, that’s good, that’s great! I’ll be here tomorrow morning.”

     Wow, a guaranteed meeting? No waiting for someone because they were fooling around instead of doing work in their office? This trip was already leagues better than Brinegarde’s and it was all due to Bris being a responsible adult. That pompous jackass Lianthorne could take some pointers.

     “I think, with that being settled, we’re done here.” Bris gestured towards Ferreth. “Ferr, could you show Eric to the Dravitae Inn so he’ll have a place to stay during his time here?”

     “Of course, my lord,” Ferreth replied with a joking smile.

     “Don’t call me that, even if it’s a joke,” Bris protested, despite his own grin.

     Aissyl led the two men outside with Bris following behind. Eric and Ferreth gave a short wave goodbye and they were off. He made sure to remember any and all distinctive markers on the roads as they walked. He didn’t want to be late for the meeting tomorrow because he was lost again.

     “So, how was your first impression of Bris?” Ferreth asked, folding his hands behind his head. “Pretty nice guy, right?”

     “Yeah, he seems like a really decent person--” he let out a chuckle before sighing wearily-- “which is a lot more than I can say about Brinegarde’s lord.”

     “I’m guessing they weren’t as nice.”

     “God, you would not believe. They’re probably the most arrogant and pretentious asshole I’ve ever met.”

     “At least Bris isn’t like that, thankfully.”

     “Yeah, thank god.”

     Despite his complaining of it, he didn’t regret his trip to Brinegarde. It was a beautiful town, like many other coastal towns, and the sweets were to die for. Meeting and becoming friends with Ven, however, was easily the best part of that trip. No beauty or tasty treats will come close to the joy having her in his life brought. She was Brinegarde’s saving grace.

     “You know, I’m curious…” He put a finger to his chin as if thinking about something before continuing. “What do you do around here, Ferreth? It must be a job that gives you a lot of free time if you’re allowed to cart me around all day.”

     “Oh, I guess I’m what you’d call a handyman,” Ferreth replied. “I do general repairs wherever they’re needed and I basically do work people don’t wanna do themselves.”

     “So it’s like you’re an errand boy, then?”

     “I’d say handyman’s an upgrade from that but yeah. It may not be the most ideal job but it lets me help people and it doesn’t pay so bad, either.”

     “No offense and all but…isn’t there something you’d rather be doing than being a handyman? I mean, I guess I don’t really understand it but still… Do you have something to aspire to?”

     He swore he saw him tense up and a glimmer of something he couldn’t quite detect before it disappeared as he answered with, “Not really.”

     That was most definitely a lie. He couldn’t figure out why Ferreth would lie to him over an innocent question like that but it was none of his business. There might’ve been more going on underneath the surface and they had only just met earlier today. No sane person tells a complete stranger their entire life story hours after meeting them. He was entitled to his secrets, as was he.

     It was soon after they arrived at the Dravitae Inn. It was a simple four-story building, with pale green walls, a dark red shingled roof, a pair of large double doors serving as the entrance, and windows on either side that allowed passersby a peek inside the establishment. On the corner was a hanging metal sign that had the name of the inn inscribed on it with a sleeping dragon below. It seemed like a good enough place to stay in during his visit.

     “Here we are.” Ferreth turned towards him. “You gonna need help getting to Bris’ tomorrow?”

     “No, I should be good. Besides--” he placed a finger to his temple-- “I have a pretty good memory so I think I have the path there memorized.”

     “All right, well, good luck tomorrow,” he said, gesturing his hand in a motion reminiscent of a salute. “Enjoy the rest of your stay.”

     He began walking back the way they came. Eric watched his figure shrink smaller and smaller before he was out of sight completely. He hoped he’d have a chance to talk with him more throughout his stay here in Thornewind. He had questions he wanted answers to, such as the nature of the people here and what he was like. For now, though, it was time to check in.

     A quick chat with the innkeeper later and he had his room. It was slightly smaller than his room back at home but it brought some comfort. A queen-sized bed sat on the right side of the room and an average cupboard opposite it. The armoire was tucked away into the upper left-hand corner while a small table and chairs were in the upper right-hand corner. A single window was set at the back, which gave him a decent view of Thornewind in the late afternoon.

     He set his bag and key down on the table before flopping onto the bed. God, he wanted nothing more than to lay there for a minute or hour. He still wasn’t used to walking and talking by himself so he was thankful for the short rest. Hey, maybe by the time he goes to Emberranth, he’ll have the skills of a functioning human being and not that of an introverted shut-in.

     He sat up, reached into his pocket, and took out his pendant. The crystal inside the bottle glinted slightly upon being held up to the light. He smiled as he brought it close to his chest, hoping his mother was watching over him.

     Tomorrow was his meeting with Bris. Other than that, he had a few days to spend time doing whatever he wanted. Sightseeing, buying souvenirs, trying out Thornewind’s cuisine, he may as well treat himself as a tourist more than a visitor. He never got to do these things before now so he wanted to make the most of it.

     May he leave Thornewind with an unforgettable experience.

[brideofcthulhu10]

What Other Cities Would the Boys Live in?

David would prefer the streets of New York, were it not for it's lack of hideaways. Sure you could go to abandoned apartments or old subways, but there was less of a guarantee you'd have privacy. Even still all it'd take is one big ol' wrecking ball and boom- he's ash. Not to mention the dense population was very high alert. There was so much competition for a hunt with no guarantees of success. You can't exactly fly around in such a dense city plucking up unsuspecting victims without being spotted. Not to mention that's when you had to get picky, you would never know where your food had been! It's hard to deny the allure of neon streets crowded with a plethora of individuals, and sure the shops are filled to the brim oddities that delighted his curiosities. The nightlife practically sang with energy. Utterly intoxicating. He still vividly remembered every corner with refined detail. However, it was a cruel city that'd eat you alive if you weren't careful. Santa Carla was certainly slower, but still had enough going on to entertain him without taking away his privacy. And if there's anything he values, it's being left the fuck alone. 

Dwayne was born in Utah and grew up in Nevada. There's part of him that wishes he could go back. Rhere was a simple beauty to the red clay hills and bronze caverns that dipped into the land sprinkled with blooming cacti. The rare blossoms of plant life, blue sky perfectly contrasting the burnt orange surface beneath it with big, fluffy white clouds above. The sunsets were incredible and the whole desert could come to life in a blaze of glory. Nights were equally stunning. Drive out a little ways in, lay a blanket in the back of your pickup with a dew beers and you would see just what he meant. The reservation he lived on didn't have many street lights, and that meant there was a silver lining- less light pollution. The stars would spread as far as the eye could see in plumes, the moon lighting up the land into a chilling hue of misty blue. If you were quiet you could hear the owls calling, crickets singing. Oh a coyote's howl could send shivers down his spine. There was always something so alluring to the desert, it was cruel and unyielding but magic. Old, ancient, filled with hidden life. Rolls of thunder on stormy days bode a light show of sparks that struck into the earth, like the gods were touching the dirt below. However, the summers would get sweltering, even a breeze would feel like a dragon breathing in your face. He still remembers working week days at a grocery store, circling the desert on his bike after a late shift before he went home caked in dust and sweat. 

Paul insists if they ever leave Santa Carla that they have to go to Los Angeles! Hollywood, bright lights and gorgeous sun kissed babes! All the best rockers party it out in L.A., just think of all the celebrities you could spot there! Beer in rivers, beaches stretching for miles and a party on every corner! How could you say no?!

David can. Easily. Tightly packed cities means nosey brats wandering into their territory, more cops keeping their eyes out for guys like them, busy well lit beaches where someone could quickly spot them. Sure, Santa Carla was big with plenty of tourists, but half of them stayed to the boardwalk and pier, away from their hotel. Not to mention the police force was so busy with a million other cases that they were too overwhelmed to look into every missing persons case, and honestly who's gonna try to search for some filthy surfer scruff puppies?  If they went to somewhere on high alert like LA, they'd be more likely to get caught and that's just a hassle. The only reason Paul doesn't go is he refuses to leave without his brothers, and if David says no, that means Dwayne says no. Marko is the peace keeper, so he'll just remind Paul that the beach babes are usually out in bikinis during the day time in LA, and there were more junkies too. The blood would taste terrible!

Marko is pretty content where he is, but if he really had to choose, he'd want to go further than just the United States. Across the ocean, London's calling to the faraway towns! Midnight concerts in dirty old pubs, orgies upstairs on rank old mattresses on the floor, plenty of rain to wash away the blood, lots of runaway rockers who'd love to run with the vampires! Unlike the busy streets of L.A or New York, London held a beastly night life with plenty of chances to lure a cutie for dinner. Cops were way behind, and if the heat ever got too hot they could bolt to the coast or country side for a few days to chill out. There were tons of old buildings and abandoned churches to hide out in, it'd be the next best thing from the hotel. With the bursts of punk flooding beer stained streets, its practically a rocker's wonderland. 

If only there wasn't such a massive gap. Even an airplane would take 10 hours or more to reach England. That was risky business for them. They were fast, but not jet engine speed fast. When the sun barbecues you like a fat on a grill, such a huge trip could mean they explode over the ocean in a fiery death leaving clouds of ash where they once were. Not exactly worth it. Besides, they still had their hotel so there was no need to relocate anyways. But a guy can dream, can't he?

[multifan-fics]

At Arm’s Length

Pairing: FinanxReader

Word Count: 1869

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Violence, Season 3 Spoilers, Break Up, Making up, Kissing, Mentions of Sex, 

The pub was full to burst after the most recent victory, won of course by the Coccham crew. The smell of spilt ale and the sweat of men invades all your senses as you’re trying to make your way through the crowd. The men were everywhere and by the Gods it felt like another war just trying to reach your intended target. Alas, all wars must end, and you can finally see the men of the hour before you. The Lord Uhtred with his ever present smile, Sihtric who though usually more subdued is now snorting like a pig with laughter, and there he was. Finan, with all his big smiles and booming laughter that seeps the anger from your bones like water through a sieve, but you were not going to be so easily swayed. Not tonight. Not after the long months since you last saw him. He had crossed you for the last time and for the love of all things, you had had quite enough. The long brooding nights plotting your revenge nay justice, you took into account the effect he had on you. No matter. You’d waited for far too long and suffered through too many sleepless nights to let this go unpunished. 

You paced the floor of your house, only breaking for brief moments to stare incredulously at him before resuming. 

“You’ll wear a hole in the floor, woman. Sit down.” He’d said more exasperated than you’d ever seen him. You stared at him incredulously. Sit? He wanted you to sit? He’d just settled the most unnerving news upon you and he wanted you to sit? Was he out of his mind? You felt like if you sat down right now, your boiling blood might start to poor out of your ears. 

“How can you possibly ask me to sit down, knowing what you said?” you fumed “How can you sit down knowing what you said?” 

“It’s a matter of perspective, really…” he said just loud enough for you to hear. With the way his shoulders slumped you could tell he was tired, and possibly a little relieved to get this off his chest. 

“Perspective?” you scoffed now, hardly hearing yourself with the blood pumping in your ears “ You’ve just told me you’re leaving me with no explanation other than you ‘can’t stay’? You expect me to accept that? I have given you everything I possibly could. And you’re just going to walk away from me, from us, without a backward glance? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” 

Finan rises from his seat and takes a few broad strides to meet you, barely a foot away. A part of you wants to reach out and caress his face; pretend that this is just some nightmare and forget it ever happened. Another part of you wants to reach out and smack him. Beat him until some idea of sense enters his dense skull and he sees that what he’s doing is a mistake. Neither option would yield any good, so you keep your hands to your sides with your hands balled into tight fists; knuckles going white and nails biting into skin. For just a moment, he looked like he was going to touch you. Wrap you into his arms just like he always used to. Run his hand over your hair and whisper into your ear how everything was going to be okay. Then his face hardened, as if making a decision, and he states his case plainly:

“What we had, it was all a lie. A way to keep my bed warm at night without wasting all my coin at the whorehouse. I wish you had never trusted me. I wish I could just magically become a better person but I can’t. I’m not a good man, (Y/N). The sooner you realize that, the better.” 

He left shortly after that, leaving you to spill every tear you had and more into your pillow that night. Within the next weeks, your pain and sadness and loss had turned to rage. You were not going to take this lying down. You were going to take back your pride and self worth, even if you had to pry it from his cold dead hands. 

And there he was, with all his pompous stance and complete disregard for anybody around him save for his precious Lord. No more. You didn’t even bother speaking. He didn’t even see you as you grabbed his armour by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out. 

“Woah, woah there” he slurred drunkenly “If you wanted to bed me so badly you could have just said so instead of-” he starts, but the words die on his lips when he sees you. Your name slips from his lips softly, as if he were surprised to see you. You scoff, watching his as he sobers considerably. 

“What are you-”

“What am I doing here? What am I going to do?” you retort, mocking him severely. You had dragged him from the alehouse to a grassy clearing near the city’s walls. It was dark already, what with winter coming on, and you could see the heavy fall of his breath in the air from the cold. 

“I’m here for a damned better explanation than that which you gave. And if you won’t offer one willingly, I’ll beat it out of you”. It was his turn to snicker, as if he thought that you weren’t capable of such a thing. Beyond any limits and blind to everything but your pain and anger, you swung at him, leaving a small cut from the ring you wore. When he recovered from the force of it, he shot you a look of pure surprise and you took this opportunity to slap him again, this time backhanded, and he nearly falls to the floor. You watch him as he stumbles over his feet, trying to regain his balance. Too angry to care that it felt like beating a defenseless child, you kicked him, finally tipping him over his center of gravity and sending him face first into the dirt. He groaned, a curse falling from his split lip as he tries to push himself up. Your breathing was laboured, your hands hurt from the force of the blows you’d landed on him, and you considered kicking him now, as he struggled to rise, but thought better of it. It was more satisfying to see his face when you struck him anyways. 

“Get up!” you yelled “Get up and look at what you’ve caused! There was no reason for you to do what you did, but you did it anyways! I demand an answer!” You screamed hoarsely. As he managed to right himself enough to sti in the grass, you went to hit him again but stopped mid-swing. 

“I had no choice!” 

Your arm fell to your side. No choice? No Choice?! “There is always a choice, you blithering idiot!” you scream.

“Have you not seen what happened to Uhtred? What happened to Beocca? Men like us don’t get to have wives and live happily ever after! We don’t deserve that happiness that is so easily granted to others. I’ve witnessed Uhtred lose a good woman, and know that he has lost two others. I refuse to watch as the same thing happens to me!” he says. He’d started off shouting, but finished in a broken, quiet voice “ I can’t; Not after all that I’ve already lost”. 

The anger and sorrow that you’d held onto for the past months leaves you with your breath. You knew it. There was no way to share what you both had shared and leave it for such a reason. 

“When I was away from Coccam, away from you, I was… I was lost. But I know that at least I could give you a good life, away from the fighting. From the many threats that hover over all our heads constantly. I could only hope to keep you away from that. You are too precious to me to involve you in such a life.” 

You sank to your knees now, a hair’s breadth away from him and still almost unable to understand the words he was speaking. 

“You are a fool, Finan, to think that I fear such a life. I’d rather to love and to lose than to never have loved at all” your voice was shaking now, and so were your hands. You’re so full of so many emotions it’s impossible to name an exact feeling. YOu slowly reach your hand up to caress his face, and though he first flinches away from the tough, he melts into it in a second. Eyes closed, he rubs his cheek into your palm like your touch was all he needed to live, beyond the luxuries of drink and food and air. 

“I won’t leave you. Not for a palace, for a sea of gold, nothing could tempt me to sway from your side for a moment. Whether you like it or not, Finan the Agile, we are bonded by the powers that be and there is nothing to be done about it.” 

You watch him, seeing as his resolve breaks into a million pieces and he caves, scooping you into his arms. They’re warmer than you remembered, but that may well be the cold wind which makes them seem warmer by contrast. No matter. You were where you have needed to be for so long. 

He pulls you back, but only enough to brush his lips against yours, as if asking permission for the kisses that were already his to take. You push forward, pressing your lips to his and he is lost in you. It feels like flowers are blooming in your chest as his soft lips caress yours ever so gently. It’s as if he’s afraid that you’ll disappear in a plume of smoke. His hands grasp at you in stark contrast, drawing you so close to him like he’s drowning and you’re the gasp of air he needs to survive. He tastes of ale but it's the sweetest taste you've ever felt. He’s beautiful, even with a face covered in dirt and blood. So beautiful you lack the words to describe it. 

You hear cheering in the distance, and you whip your head to the side to see Uhtred and Sihtric clapping and laughing and whistling like madmen. You hide your blush in the crook of Finan’s neck. 

“It’s about time!” Yells Uhtred, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Maybe he’ll finally shut up about you!” yells Sihtric. 

“Fat chance of that, you bunch of turds. Now will ye leave me be? I’ve some business to catch up on.” Finan yells back to the pair. You could hear his smile. 

“Don’t take too long, the king will be here in a week or so” says Uhtred, walking away and leaving you both to the cold night air. 

Finan entwines his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck and gently pulls, earning a soft moan from you as you pull back from his neck and follow his grasp until you’re facing him. 

“So, back home then?” 

[plus-size-reader]

The Dealer pt 2

Thomas Shelby x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1412 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Reader realizes something about Thomas that means something to her. Something about him that is different than any other men you’d ever met. 

———————————————————————————————————

You agreed to go with Thomas to the garrison, under the condition that it would be after hours so you didn't have to worry about all the other patrons, drunkenly rambling and making fools of themselves.

Large crowds had never really been your cup of tea, and drunk, blabbering men were even less so.

Luckily though, Thomas didn't seem to have a problem with that.

Instead, he only smiled, informing you that he would be back once the sun went down to pick you up. The entire idea made Louis a little nervous, but you never really payed the young man any mind.

If something did happen to go down, your men would tear the entire Shelby family apart. Thomas knew that and had nothing but respect for your brutality and strength. It was rare to meet a woman who didn't care much for her image.

You cared much more about running a successful business than anything else. Most other women he knew spent far too much time focusing on their appearance than their personalities. He found most of them terribly boring.

But not like you.

You help yourself in a completely different way, a way that he longer to understand.

"I don't know about this boss, do you think going into their territory is a good idea?" Louis questioned, pacing around the room like a wind up toy with a stuck string. He was going to drive you made if he didn't stop soon.

Louis was bad enough when he was in a good mood, and that had no comparison to the way he was acting now. You had seen more composure in a freshly decapitated chicken.

"God Louis, sit down" you bit, flicking a cigarette in his direction that he was quick to stomp out before doing as you said.

You had no intention of ever talking to him when he was acting like that. If he wanted to treat you like a disobedient teenager, the least he could do was form a coherent sentence.

"Now, what would you have me do to make it safer? I am going with him, whether you advise it or not" you informed, taking a long sip of whisky as he thought over your words. He didn't like it but if you had to go, at least you could take precautions.

For starters, he would have a few of your men posted outside the bar, armed of course. That way if there was a commotion inside the bar, you wouldn't be all alone. In addition to that, he suggested that you were armed yourself.

It was only a precaution, he kept repeating.

You didn't like it.

"Are you suggesting that I cannot protect myself against a man like Thomas Shelby, Louis?" you wondered, danger lacing your gentle voice as you eyed him across the room. If there was one thing you couldn't stand, it was being underestimated.

You had been treated like a fragile little girl all your life, and you weren't about to take it from him. Louis was nothing more than a freckle-faced little ingrate, and you weren't going to be questioned by him.

It wasn't going to happen, today, tomorrow, or six days from Sunday.

Luckily for him though, the boy was quick to cover his mistake, "Of course not boss, I only want you to make sure you're safe" he stammered, hoping that his words were enough to dull your anger...which it seemed to be.

You had been known to throw full glasses of liquor across the room at him, or point a gun in his face when he angered you and when you made no motion to do either, he assumed he was in the clear.

Even if only for a moment.

Instead, you nodded taking in everything he'd said in the last few moments. As much as you hated to admit it, he had a point.

Forming a good relationship with the blinders would be good for business but getting yourself killed in the event of it going south wasn't good in the least. There was no business without you after all.

It would be stupid to die due to your stubbornness alone.

"You'll find these men yourself" you ordered, finishing the last of your drink. You were tired of having this discussion, but when you set the glass down, you frowned when you saw the man still sitting there.

How fucking dense could he be.

"Now Louis, go now!" you suggested, venom in your voice as you watched. As soon as the words left your lips, he scrambled from his seat, leaving as quickly as he could down the hallway of the warehouse.

You swore, if he wasn't family, you would have put a bullet between his eyes years ago.

Eventually though, he gathered the men who would accompany you to the garrison, which was in Shelby territory. As a general rule, your men didn't go there, but tonight, you were sure that Thomas would make an exception.

If he didn't of course, there would be no chance to get to know you better.

~

Your footsteps were slight on the cobblestone as you made your way over to him, a few men on your tail.

At first, Thomas smiled, until his eyes fell on the men behind you. "I was under the impression that it would just be the two of us" he commented, smiling once again when he met your gaze. To which, you only smiled back.

"It will be, they're just going to stay outside the garrison" you hummed, knowing he was in no place to refuse them, but before you took the hand he offered to you, you smirked a bit to yourself, "they're under strict orders to behave, don't worry" you winked.

The last thing you needed was a war between your two groups. The Shelby's were a powerful family, and together you could be unbeatable but apart, the streets would run red with blood. Neither of you needed a war right now.

"And what about you? Do you have orders to behave?" he teased, entwining his fingers with your own as you walked. It wasn't too far of a ways to get to the garrison but it was enough that casual conversation was a must.

A walk of any altitude in complete silence was never fun.

"Never, who would dare give them" you countered, now wishing the men you'd brought with you were gone. You didn't want to have to keep up your unbreakable, hard as a rock image all night long.

But until you were out of earshot of your men, you didn't have a choice. It had taken you a long time to earn their respect, and you weren't going to risk losing it now.

...Not even for Thomas Shelby.

"So Thomas, do you take all your potential business partners to get drunk? Is the plan to get me all liquored up so I'll agree to a less than fair proposition?" you wondered, only half kidding as you eyed him.

You hadn't looked at him from this angle earlier, and you had to admit that his profile was remarkable nice. You had never seen a man with such an even and pleasing bone structure, but it was clear to you that Shelby was different.

Thomas Shelby was unlike any man you'd ever met.

He had to be in order to accomplish the things he'd accomplished in his lifetime. Hell, he'd been through war and still maintained relatively sane, not to mention breathing. You had lost a number of great men in that war, and the ones who weren't killed just didn't come back the same.

"You would be the first, I'll admit" he allowed, though you doubted his honesty. Men liked to bond over alcohol and women but you understood that this was something different. If you didn't know any better, you'd think that Thomas was a bit sweet on you.

Not that you really minded.

In some ways, you were sweet on him too.

Thomas was the first man to really look at you for what you were. He saw you as a boss and a powerhouse but he also saw you as a woman. He saw you for everything that you were, in every different facet of your life.

"Well Mr.Shelby, in that case I'd be happy to spend the evening with you" you smiled, following him into the garrison, several ideas about how this evening would go swirling around in your head.