#and having to navigate their relationship in this weird way in spite of/because of that

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x22, "honeymoon"

somehow one of the show's tamest season finales still ended up rocking my world.

an episode full of actions speaking louder than words, making it an excellent season one send-off, if you ask me. this one has excellent synergy with the pilot, despite how radically things have changed in the last 21 installments. wilson agrees that house cares about him based on his actions, and in 1x22, house spends the whole episode working in spite of his words to express his love to stacy through caring for mark. even though he can't stand the guy. good one, david shore and co.

3 separate notes i want to make from the top of the episode:

have there always been at least 3 red mugs? i swear we've only seen 1 so far, but one of the earliest scenes showcases 3.

the first drugging incident is in the books! along with their goofy "you dosed me/them/him" lingo.

wilson immediately maxed out his season 1 hypocrisy scale when he told house to "treat the husband. stay away from the wife." just because you abandon your wife all the time does NOT make you the right person to distribute relationship advice. idiot.

my general thoughts on stacy are very positive - i cannot think of a better past love interest for house, nor can i think of anyone who could give a better performance than sela ward. the way she still fits in with house doesn't lessen house's strong characterization thus far, and her screen time feels interesting and warranted throughout. the way she shuts him down when he asks about potential infidelity here gives the instant impression that house cannot mess with her like he does with just about everyone else:

most importantly, what i like about stacy are the ways she problematizes the ethics, or lack thereof, that we've become adjusted to under the Greg House Regime. she strong-arms people all the time as a lawyer, but in a completely opposite venue as house. in her world, there are grey areas abound; she just has to navigate through them all to reach a favorable conclusion. from our experience in 1x21, this was a major point of contention between them, and i think it's a really clever way of showing 2 different life paths manifested in 2 wildly different people with similar moral codes.

but something doesn't sit right (intentionally so): are their understandings of, and respect for, patient autonomy the same?

that house never fights her on this point gives us a superficial answer, at least: yes. stacy demands that house make mark, her current husband, go through a highly dangerous test in the same way that house would have strong-armed any other patient into doing the same thing. he can't refute this point when she throws it in his face, and goes so far as to accuse house of wishing mark would die (more ofc to come of that later):

but, subliminally, there's 2 key differences at play here: stacy hasn't known house that much post-infarction, so she hasn't seen the full impact that her middle-ground medical decision had on him, and now she's advocating for the dangerous procedure, whereas amidst house's infarction, she wanted the more fool-proof, cautious option. they make a nod to the former point when she comments about house bouncing his cane: "some people would find that annoying."

i don't think stacy is aware of this irony - and who would be while their husband is dying of freak brain matter and nerve degeneration? she's operating from a place of love for mark and arguing - in a rather courtroom-esque way, begging house to forego the legal consequences - for him to do something drastic. when he gives in, we see a flash of house's most dangerous side.

this was the least surprising "plot twist" yet btw. house md writers i'm not idiot. i knew he had that Look in his eye and was gonna do it.

it's such a weird moment; house was choosing to be safe by not directly threatening mark's life with a dangerous test, but he was doing it out of selfishness. this highlights a persistent conflict of morals that reappears all over the show. these 2 make a pretty dangerous duo lol.

personally, i'd be lying if i said stacy's disregard for house's choice about his infarction didn't bother me, and i LOVE the discomfort that generates within me as a viewer. i have to hold house to that same standard, but we've been so endeared to his character over time that it's textually difficult to maintain that integrity. maybe it's something to do with how we're taught to consider house as god, too, no matter how often he fails us/the show emotionally? much to think about.

next, i want to highlight this moment of fellow solidarity:

this speaks louder than dozens of words ever could about where the fellows are at emotionally. despite the ways in which they're all like house and all the ways he's influenced them, they can still identify his tipping point. this in and of itself is a small act of love, i'd argue, and we can extrapolate that:

chase, despite being so deep in the shitter with house post-vogler, still cares enough for him to prevent him from making this crazy choice.

foreman hasn't been so corrupted by house as to abandon his morals; he's stood firm against the mini-house accusations by being so consistently upstanding.

cameron can see through house, like she's been trying to all along, and knows that a large chunk of his current motivations are not for mark's benefit.

they each have unique insights into house's breakdown in 1x22 based on their unique relationships to him, all condensed into this brief "three musketeers" formation. love to see it, the fruit of 22 episodes' worth of writerly labor.

circling back to stacy (sorry for how disorganized this recap is!), there's an interesting comparison to make between stacy and wilson's function in this episode. stacy enables house to act on his craziest, instinctive impulses, whereas wilson is demanding the exact opposite - that he keep everything repressed for the sake of the patient. ofc, the highest irony is that, had house done that, mark would have died. this episode doesn't feature wilson's enabling crimes (those haven't come up that much this season, i don't think), but more so acts as a precursor for what's to come on that front.

but i would be VERY REMISS if i didn't mention a scene that i had nearly forgotten about myself that had me open-mouthed, thinking about The Future of this show and of These Two:

something should go here about the sign above wilson's shoulder. very no-turning-back. a nod to how he's quite literally leaving his wife for house here?

wilson gets to do one of my favorite things here: be house's moral compass on the subject he's the least trustworthy about - relationships. but i think this exchange highlights why house comes to wilson with his feelings about mark and stacy; wilson's own imperfections lets the vulnerability come easier. house admits that he was glad that mark's tests were inconclusive, that mark is "probably a great guy...and some part of me wants him to die. i'm just not sure if it's because i want to be with her or if it's because i want her to suffer."

that stacy picks up on this very fact later in the episode speaks to how well she knows house; that house tells wilson and not her shows the high regard that holds her in. that wilson doesn't respond says a lot. in an episode where everyone's voices are especially loud, and when wilson has already scolded house on this whole unraveling stacy debacle, his silence is peaceful...

...and a little bit prophetic. (4x16 spoilers) this reminds me a hell of a lot of a future, much more serious dilemma wherein a certain Broken Moral Compass asks his best friend to undergo a highly dangerous treatment to save someone else whom he loves. it's not perfect, but there's definitely a parallel to be drawn here: does wilson wish for house to undergo the life-threatening brain surgery just to save amber, or is there a small amount of selfishness there that wants to see house suffer? once again, much to think about! check back when i finally get to season 4 lol.

regardless, what i find compelling above all else is how wilson's silence helps prompt house to act above his words -- even though the subsequent actions are exactly the opposite of what wilson had been advising house to do thus far! no matter what his feelings may be about stacy and mark, he solves the case in the end, undoing his previous commitment to wait "for something to change." it was an obvious scapegoat when he said that to stacy, coming from the man who rejects all notions of change.

wilson's influence is even visually represented, too. when house returns to mark's hospital room, determined now to do the crazy thing and give him the dangerous treatment, we get a very brief shot of the teddy bear that wilson sent stacy and mark (he's so annoying lol):

lastly, i liked the step 1x22 took in throwing one of the show's background themes into the spotlight: house's neediness.

we've seen traces of it growing throughout the season, especially in how he tries to maintain order among the fellows, keeping them at his side while also self-sabotaging. it's clear to anyone that he can be exhausting to be around, but stacy confirms that this exhaustion extends well into his romantic/intimate relationships as well. according to her, while he is The One: "i was lonely. with mark, there's room for me."

OOF.

this somewhat contradicts what i said earlier about stacy not knowing house as he is now; like she told cameron, he's been This Way for a while - this also has interesting implications for wilson's comment during "detox" about whether house's changing behavior is "just the leg" or not. the antisocial behavior predates the infarction - very important in the Gregory House Timeline, and i think it actually endears us to him even more. and the mystery just got deeper, too.

in stacy's POV, he's always been needy. the relationship was always consuming, all about him. and as we well know, this isn't a trend that goes away. each of the fellows will grow apart from house, though at different paces and for very different reasons, and his future romantic relationships do the same, too.

but there IS someone who has a house-shaped hole in their heart, someone who defies the relationships that house has worn out thus far and will wear out in the future, someone that goes so far as to say that we "can't really choose who our friends are" because house fits that empty space too well.

"my wife's gonna kill me. we're having company. she cooked."

"i got mark's latest bloodwork. he's not responding to treatment."

"i'm sorry."

stacy was completely right to say that her relationship with house was too all-consuming; we see that play out again in the first half of season 2. but we also lay the seeds for what happens when there are 2 people, stricken with that same neediness dilemma, who are balanced perfectly for the other person, no matter how toxic things may become.

are there more things i could talk about? absolutely! i think i'll be doing an overall season recap, so i can evaluate some more atp. for now, happy end of season 1. wow, has the show transformed!! i'm sure that the final shot of the season being house contemplatively downing some vicodin isn't foreshadowing how his addiction becomes much more destructive in season 2...

HE'S SO SEASON 5 HERE.

[unpretty]

I've been following you for a while and only just now realized you were polyamorous. I'm skirting that in a new relationship, and while I can intellectually and emotionally adore the concept of loving multiple people emotionally and having intimately close connections in that way, I still have a weird emotional response to the physical component of that. I can intellectualize that it's being done in an honorable, practical and structured manner that doesn't harm anyone and doesn't leave me wanting, but I cannot define where this emotion comes from in spite of the concept passing these rational checks. What's your experience been with with regards to polyamory? How did you get here? What were the challenges, and how do you navigate them? Is this a common experience for new persons in this modus operandi?

unfortunately i am a terrible person to ask for advice on polyamory because i'm built different

i mean not really but kind of. i just don't have the thing where i care. as long as i'm getting enough attention my partners can do whatever they want with whoever they want and it has nothing to do with me. sex is just a thing you can do. i think i only get upset if they do something with someone else that they never seem to do with me but i would enjoy. if my wife got a new platonic friend and they started going to dance classes i'd be so mad.

i think your experience is probably much more common than mine, since i just never saw a reason to be monogamous

[dadvans]

9-1-1 S8x04 Liveblog Notes

This episode starts and ends with Bobby being underestimated by Gerrard in completely unique ways. Amazing.

Underrated line: "So they took my house from me. Yes, it was humiliating. Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I'm back." I really don't think Gerrard is fully gone. We know there will be more Hotshots + Brad this season. Gerrard is a man who survives out of spite, and there are depths of his hatred we don't even know.

I'm so curious about how Gerrard has, if I remember correctly, said mooks twice. Gerrard/Sal OTP.

As long as we're going to talk about Gerrard, I'm adding this here much, much later: awful, terrible people have good sides to them. This will always be true, especially for powerful people. I've seen a few different interpretations of "Tight End," but I'm going to be real with you all from someone who grew up in male spaces? This is affection. This is Old Guard shit. It is not good. It is the kind of preferential affection that tells you that you're on thin ice but you're special enough or good enough if you work hard, and you've been noticed. Your name will always be your strongest weakness. Someone has their eye on you. You can be called out by the leader something awful, but at least you have a name. (My coach's name for me was "Bruiser.")

Buck is terrible at golf. I feel like there was a lot of spec this episode about his outfit: that's just a golf outfit. Buck strikes me as the kind of guy who knows how to socially fake appearances, and Gerrard isn't calling him on his terrible performance here. NOTABLY: in terms of performance, Oliver Stark can act his way through terrible drives down the line with the addition of SFX and flailing with the net, but I'm still frustrated at how capable he was in the basketball montage in s7 after Buck is supposed to hate/suck at basketball.

Yes, you can be good at a sport and hate it. That's me with golf. That's Buck with basketball.

Someday, if anyone ever wants, I would love to nerd out about how they blocked and choreographed the basketball scene, because it DOES make me a little crazy.

Did they actually play a full 18 after this? And Buck survived?

The apartment Bobby and Athena are looking at is at least $2mil. It actually looks like several listings where I was trying to gauge new build in surrounding neighborhoods when I was writing "An Outlier."

Michael... plans. I find it a little weird that Athena would do it, a lot weird she would do it without Bobby. Bobby and Michael had a good relationship! But then Athena was excited! It's a weird way to navigate how Michael can't physically appear in the show anymore. It almost feels like a regression, because Bobby and Michael were so close. Michael would probably have reached out to Bobby if Athena reached out to him. I miss their made, intentional, yet triumphant family so much (including May and Harry).

I was SO into Chimney pointing out the obvious about the blueprints until he made it about the 118-- although his Gerrard impression was the unsettling kind of impressive.

The tiger would have simply become friends with me and I would have called 9-1-1 while we were chilling on the couch together. But I would have told them it was okay and to never come because I found my best friend forever.

Crazy that they had to use a tranq dart. I simply would have entered the apartment and said hello and the tiger would have recognized me as a friend and we would have left together laughing over shared interests.

I totally think Eddie violated HIPAA contacting an underage patient's parent without his OR his guardian's permission. Eddie also showed said parent photos of his son's injury that Eddie had taken without permission. The mother even clarified that she would not notify the father. For me, the biggest implication here is that Eddie's on-the-job performance (despite being impeccable during the emergency itself) could begin to suffer, or his ability to remain impartial in situations will continue to take hits before it gets better without Christopher.

People are BIG MAD about the above opinion on Reddit. Why are you booing me, I'm right.

I had an HR post script about how Bobby financially runs his department here and how he underhires with overperformers to navigate attrition, but it is lost to time. I guess we will never know how my sexy HR brain works in a situation that it has never been in, but I'm sure I was right, because I always am.

[wishforhome]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love

Thank you so much @idoltina! Picking five things is so hard, but let's try it. I was also tagged by the wonderful @nelsynoo, so here we go.

These are all veilguard fics.

and i want to know what would happen if i surrender to the sound (Band AU, currently incomplete but about 18k so far, with general polyamourous madness but most notably rook x viago and rook x lucanis, rated E)

this is part of the series i'm co-writing with @mxssful, in which viago, lucanis, teia, my rook (vero) and moss's rook (rosa) are all in a melodic hardcore band together and all (eventually) in love. it's extremely silly and yet everyone has way too much trauma. it's such a weird 'verse and yet it's one of my favourite things i've written.

no saints among us / only those who kneel (viago x rook [pre-relationship], 2771 words, rated T)

choosing which vero/viago fics to post was HARD but this one is one of my favourites. it's a bit of a character study, just establishing the extent to which viago and vero are very fucked up and viago's kind of awful and vero knows this but is fine with it because he's less bad than what came before.

proof of life (counting heartbeats to keep from counting days) (viago x rook, 4190 words, rated E)

the other viago/vero fic is this mid-relationship one, which takes place shortly after the events of eight little talons. the basic premise is that vero hears that several talons are dead but doesn't know which ones and thinks that viago and teia might have died. then viago shows up back in salle with a snakebite wound and, well, smut ensues.

five (lucanis x spite x rook x viago x teia, 3644 words, rated E)

this was my first foray into the polyamourous madness that characterizes most of my writing. this is with my other (non-vero) rook (whose name is technically jin but nobody ever calls her that), and is basically just an orgy with her and her crows. it's silly but also weirdly heartfelt and i'm just very fond of it. it was just supposed to be this non-canon ridiculous thing and then everyone went and fell in love and now nearly everything i write is a polycule.

what she deserves (lucanis x spite x rook, 4228 words, rated E)

this is one of my earliest DA fics, from before i got obsessed with polycules. it's basically my interpretation of the gondola date/lake scene that we got some illustrations from but doesn't appear in the game. a note on this one: i wrote my lucanis in this series before finding out that lucanis was supposed to be demi/a virgin. he's very much not a virgin here; he has a history of using sex workers but has never had a serious relationship before rook, and it's about him navigating his romantic feelings and how he's unused to navigating relationships and sex when he has genuine feelings for someone. i think i would still characterize him as demi here, as he uses sex mostly as stress relief and not because he's necessarily super interested in it for the most part, but yeah, if you're super attached to virgin lucanis, this one won't be for you.

to pay this forward, I am tagging the following: @mxssful, @inquisimer, @crabs-with-sticks, @nirikeehan, @megthemariner

xoxo

[lachambers-central]

Suddenly remembered this fic I started writing a years ago (and never finished) where it was this whole different parallel dimensions, where a modern Gordie switched place with 50/60s Gordie. And lachambers was canon in both, but in the past they had to hide their relationship while they were open about it in the modern times, and the different Gordie's were forced to navigate life in these different timelines.

I wrote the most about OG Gordie in the future, and just the shock of his mum being a working woman, his dad doing household chores and just Chris being openly affectionate towards him in public.

I actually found out that the text was saved, after initially thinking it had been lost to time on my old computer, but seeing that I'd thought to save it on my drive was so much fun.

I don't know if I'll ever finish it, but thought it would be fun to share. Here's some of my favourite passages from it because I'm in a sharing mood, pls remember that I wrote this a long time ago and that the writing will be stilted, and I've fixed some grammar to spare you:

Ok, first some og Gordie in modern times:

“Gordie Hun, you ready to go?” He just nodded and followed his mother outside.

From inside he could hear his father's voice saying “Fine, just leave me with the dishes then. I see how it is Dorothy.” This was unlike he’d ever heard, because for the first time his dad had talked about doing the dishes without spite and calling it a women’s job. Instead he talked about it with a playful tone.

...

“Hey,” He said, glad to see someone who didn’t seem to have changed.

“Hi,”

Chris said leaning in, quickly pecking his lips. And that was the last straw. From a different room, to a different mum, everything being oh so different, and now the one thing he thought he could rely on was completely different too? He wasn’t having it. He pushed Chris away.

“What the heck are you doing?”

He looked around to see if anyone had noticed, but no one seemed the least bothered. Chris was shocked at the sudden action, but thankfully he didn’t seem mad.

“You can’t do that in front of people?”

...

And finally a little passage of modern Gordie in the past:

“What?”

Instead of answering Chris pinched Gordie on the arm.

“Ouch, what was that for?” Gordie asked, rubbing his arm lightly.

“To show you that this ain’t no dream. Have you smoked something weird? Is that it? Gordo, did someone force you to smoke something weird? Because that would be the only explanation as to why you act this way."

“Smoke?” Gordie scoffed. “You know I don’t smoke.”

It was at this moment Chris seemed to truly be losing it.

“Are you playing a trick on me man? Because if so, it ain’t funny”

Gordie just shook his head unable to comprehend what the heck was going on.

(The amount of times I use the word heck in this fic makes me wanna gouge my eyes out ngl)

[littleeyesofpallas]

Not that anyone asked, but Ive definitely gotten the unsolicited "egg" comments from people before. Normally it doesn't bug me because it's from rando's I know don't know better. I did have one ex who very inoffensively but truly genuinely asked me, in the middle of sex, "are you sure you're not trans?" Which, like.... I dunno just kind of stuck with me in a weird way? But normally I get it, I went through a whole phase of rapid oscillating extremes to try and figure my shit out, and as a result I used to identify as gender fluid, and sometimes joke that I'm ""gender fluid non practicing"" so i totally get that I can give off a lot of false positives to other trans people, and transwomen specifically.

but then there's this thing that happens as like an offshoot of all this, where I do have a clearly disproportionately chronic issue of falling hard for lesbians(i mean, among various other demographics of people who are just categorically not interested in me). And yeah that sucks. It's weird and awkward. But thats not what bugs me. What bugs me is how often people seem to respond to it with something to the effect of, ""have you tried being trans"" and it's just like... That's.... That's not how that fucking works.... And I hate to even bring it up most time because it very quickly pushes me towards this weird line where I'm at risk of finding myself on the side of gross ass transphobes, just rhetorically, but like... That CANT be the rationale some transwomen have for identifying as women, right????? Iike i know it's just one little thing in what must surely be laundry list of things but like... The consistency of it as an idea in the forefront of some people's minds, enough so that it comes up as often as it does, makes me extremely uncomfortable. And again I feel like even entertaining the thought puts me on the wrong side of a fence, thus being reluctant to talk about it openly, but like... It's gross, right? I'm not looking to change myself for the sheer sake of being attractive to someone else. Ive been there. I did that. As a boy trying to be "manly" enough for straight girls, as an amab trying to be girly enough as a twink performing for gay men, and as a trans girl performing for straight men, and yeah briefly even as a lesbian. And my relationship with other people did not define who or what I was. And while that feels obvious now, I can sort of forgive myself the exasperated process of experimentation because I was a dumb kid. But the insinuation that I would change how I identify or present for the sake of.... Again there's not avoiding walking into language I hate to use like this, but honestly what about a to deceiving a partner into thinking it fit their categorical preferences really seriously turns my stomach. And I'll be honest, as an admittedly low effort presentation person that identifies as agender, I get that I basically don't even exist on most people's radar of what is or isn't ""dateable"" and sure that really sucks; I'm functionally invisible to a huge number of people in the ways they navigate the dating scene. But even so this fucking weird, gross, persistent question I get from other trans people about how I should totally just change the way I identify to help get laid fucking drives me up a fucking wall.

I dunno where I was going with this. Ive always been afraid to vent about this because it feels like it's ripe for transphobic shitbags to take the wrong way. But I dunno I'm at this bar and feeling ranty and I care just little enough to have jammed this draft out in spite of myself

[reco-obsessed]

OMGOMG i would love if u went into more detail!!!!!

if you were serious abt showing that urshreko snippet...heheheh....

if not bvious....it me...hc anonn :333

lucky for you i was serious about both >:)

keep in mind this half-analysis half- projection my personal interpretation and headcanons, so youve been warned.

as said before, i dont think reko was really in the type of space for a relationship at the time, especially a healthy one, and i think in all likelihood, the two of them wouldve come at a relationship with the other in their own dysfunctional ways. ursheen probably idolizes her to an unhealthy amount, their attraction being founded too much on their idea of her than who she really was with a hint of 'i can fix her' in there too. for reko, its a situation where shes got some weird 'lone wolf' persona. her whole life, shes thrown herself into music (or been thrown into music, whether she liked it or not) instead of being around others. for a long time, shes been isolated from people her age, even her sibling, to the benefit of adults. shes been so focused on building her interest in music or in doing the opposite of what she was supposed to do to prove a point. she never tried to reintegrate herself with other people, instead becoming asocial and harsh on those around her for various reasons as a defense mechanism. this is all to say, rekos probably never gotten very close to anyone in her life at this point besides alice*, who her dynamic with is complex and painful in its own ways. between her hobbies and her view of the world around her, she in all likelihood had little opportunities to know how navigate friendships, let alone romantic endeavors. shes rawdogging this shit. she probably thinks she doesnt even want anyone, could want anyone. she especially doesnt need anyone. she has this perception that everyone around her poses as a threat and her guard is always up. she spends no energy feigning interest in others.

so thats the set up.

you have this person whos willing to offer all this attention and even affection in spite of her rough edges, despite the fact that she just about stomps on any and every social rule or expectation of her besides trying to be a good- no, perfect musician. and i dont think reko, at least at the time, would know how to process it.

and for the duration of the time they know eachother, she probably doesnt. she never explicitly rejects ursheen's affections, but never fully accepts them either, even as they spend more time together and ursheen gets more invested. reko is on edge, and never fully lets her guard down. reko reciprocates their feelings but struggles to grapple with that fact- theres a chance she doesnt even realize she does because shes so in denial. so reko never really shows any affection, at least not directly; its the kind of thing that sneaks out of her when she isnt meaning to. which is enough for a while, but... thats not sustainable.

eventually, ursheen tires of giving all this warmth towards someone who cant say it back with their full chest. reko may have never intentionally rejected any of ursheens affections, simply failed to process it, but that kind of thing doesnt stay on standby. it all looks the same from the givers perspective: rejection. and so, eventually, ursheen cuts their losses and stops trying, leaving her behind because after months of trying to break through the illusion reko puts up that shes impenetrable and doesnt care about anyone, they finally believed it** and assumed she wouldnt care if they were gone.

and the thing is i dont think reko realizes what they had, how close they had gotten, how much she enjoyed being around them, until it all kicks in at once because all of the sudden theyre just gone and she doesnt understand why they left because she never understood what made ursheen stick around in the first place. so its a quadruple whammy of l + ratio + i miss them + wait, i miss them?? i tried so hard to not be affected by anyone or anything + holy shit i was into them this whole time and i loved being around them + holy shit ill never talk to them again and they hate me and about 21 other reality checks depending on the timing of their break-up and the relationship itself.

so ursheko, to me, is this scenario thats kind of "the one that got away" for reko. id call it right person, wrong time, but i dont think wouldve been able to become the right person until she went through their "break-up" (in quotations because even though they both reciprocated i dont think they ever labeled it).

so thats my very biased interpretation of ursheko that probably conflicts with canon in some way i havent figured out yet and im gonna figure it out after i post this and the fact that this is on record as My Opinion On Ursheko will drive me insane because its incorrect after i find out reko actually had 4 chain links on her collar instead of 5 and were we talking about something just now?

the fact that shes a public figure who probably already has tons of fans who idolize her probably makes it a fair bit easier to brush off ursheen's affections, as well.

theres also the fact her and ursheen are, at least according this alice's recollection, the two most intrinsically skilled musicians in the band, so i think theres a lot of opportunity for them to bond over that. its very difficult to ever meet rekos expectations as established as the canon, but ursheen may very well manage to come close overtime if they work hard enough. should ursheen win enough of rekos trust in their skill, its possible reko would even begin to open up to them about concerns she has with upcoming songs shes writing and more could develop from there. something something inherent homoeroticism of being two gnc lesbians in a band together

in terms of timing ? i usually headcanon that their situationship only really lasted throughout samurai yaiba's run, and then maybe a little after. theres a lot of extra angst with that when you consider this means their "break-up" and reko processing her brothers prison sentence have overlap.

though there are interpretations of ursheko ive seen where they end up having their situationship after the band breaks up, which i also think are interesting.

so the moral of the story is uhhh flips through notes kiss women ? yeah that sounds like a good takeaway.

*we do know of her friendship with midori, but i dont know enough details about the exact timeline to corroborate on whether or not she would be friends with him at this point; as in, im not sure how soon they started being friends compared to when samurai yaiba started as a band. overall, i think her having one (1) other decent friend at this time probably still works with this.

**[insert screenshot of mobile game ad where guy walks away with his pickaxe right before he gets to the diamonds]

wait no. dont close the curtain . i wrote so much i forgot about giving you the snippet . to be fair i dont know if youll even have the energy to read it once you get to the bottom of this post but ill at least keep my promise

Reko always seemed to use such fallible make-up offstage. She had higher quality, water-proof make-up she used during shows, but she must've had some sort of frugal tendencies that encouraged her to use cheaper products on a regular basis, so during practices Reko's eyeliner usually ended up smudged by sweat, lip liner rubbed off, liquid lipstick cracking…. it urged some sort of strange temptation, a fascination or some sort of curiosity, to see that rawness. Ursheen couldn't help but get drawn in by the concept of what was under the surface of Reko's stony gaze, what lied under her dramatic persona. A thought appeared that Ursheen was as intrigued by as they were rejecting of the rushing feelings it brought: I want to help her remove it, and stop only to reapply my own.

haha, really sappy, i know .... but it is fanfiction after all.

[tressashaw]

fabula:: Therese "Tressa" Shaw

Name: Tressa Shaw Occupation:Assistant Forensic Medical Examiner Age: 27 Sexuality: Pansexual Species: Human Hometown: Port Leiry Relationship Status: Single

Persona:

Tressa’s a weird girl. In school, she was the sort to try to be everyone’s friend, but who largely wound up just being everyone’s perennially annoying if occasionally fun to be around acquaintance. This led to her being a largely forgotten quantity once she skipped Port Leiry for college looking like a depressed hipster with a distressing knowledge of beard oils and returned looking like a brunette vamp queen, imparting unto her an up-until-then unheard of measure of self confidence that began to snowball into full-blown cocky arrogance that dovetailed nicely with a burgeoning sense of resentment and spitefulness. She’s still weird. But now she only cares about if she’s making herself laugh - everyone else will get the joke eventually. She’s obsessive, as well. When she finds a new hobby, or a new show, or a new book, she does it to death until suddenly she doesn’t; her house is full of half-finished craft projects. Her computer’s full of half-finished fan-fic and a dozen accounts online where she argues up and down the merits and plot-points and facts of a million different things, fiction and fact alike. Ultimately, despite her sometimes churlish and socially tactless arrogance towards Port Leiry as a whole, past Traumas drew her to her carer path, wanting to help give closure to people that she feels largely robbed of - perhaps her only altruistic trait.

Historia: [tw; death, alcoholism]

They say you can’t go home again, but that’s just because they fetishize this whole growth and empowerment thing so they can sell you a ticket into the grindset. Tressa Shaw saw as much of the world as she really thought she ought to when she left for school two states over, fucked around with forbidden alchemy, and wound up realizing that she very much could go home and be quite content. Port Leiry was quiet, it was pretty. It was more varied in its places and personages than its rural roots and out-of-the-way nature might lend one to think. Sure there’s places she wants to go, but nowhere she really feels like she’d rather live. But a rewind is in order;

When Tressa was very young, her father took a fall and died. She was the one who found him and, very young, didn’t know what to do, and so she just sat with him there on the steps until her mother got home. It wasn’t until much later in life that she realized she might have been able to save him, or get him help - that he might be here on the Earth if she hadn’t locked up and sat down. Mom did not handle the grief well, and spun out hard - cirrhosis got her in just a few short years, and by the time Tressa was sitting by her bedside holding her hand and watching her go, she’d been living with her grandmother for a few years. All this took place in private - at school Tressa would be ever smiling, ever joking, ever pleasant, reaping small rewards like fringe inclusions in pretty much any school activity she could - she was an A+, AP student and she graduated top of her class and got into a good school. pre-med, and, after a brief dalliance with a doctor, decided to go the other direction, navigating college into a split path that covered medical forensics and pathology. But the Big Big City was Big Big Pricey, and when her grandmother took ill, it looked like you absolutely could go home again. So Tressa goes back to Port Leiry, but nobody knows her by that name. Of course, she’s not hiding anything; she tells the people its appropriate to tell when it comes up. Bu it’s like a re-do. She buries her grandmother, moves into her pretty nice house, and gets work at the county morgue working the late shift. Tressa takes her time. She’s in no rush to make friends, she’s doing fine. Except she is hiding something. Okay, one more rewind, but last one, promise. It’s three days before her sixth birthday. She’s sitting on the steps, staring at her dad sprawled and broken over the landing. The policeman is asking her what happened, and she just cries muted tears and says he tripped while they were playing hide and seek. She doesn’t mention the knock at the door. The man she invites in. She doesn’t mention the all-too-brief tangle, or the snap that came from her father’s neck well before the man tossed him like a ragdoll down the steps. And she definitely, definitely doesn’t mention the man telling her to sit there, to cry for her dead daddy, and never speak of it to a soul. But dead men tell no tales, so she works at the perfect confessional.

[itsfennix]

“Eilíse and Fennorian’s relationship is not about sex” I say. “It will never be the focus” I say.

Meanwhile, Chapter 12 is well over 4.5K words and is maybe half way done. But I feel like I shouldn’t split it up cause I already spent an entire chapter on spicy stuff and… idk I feel like I shouldn’t spend three chapters on them having sex for the first time lmao

But it’s not just about sex… It’s a rather important moment for both of them.

Eilíse spent 18 years alone, fending for herself, and has spent the past 4 years trying to navigate friendships while under the stress of trying to keep the world from falling apart. She had never willingly shown her face to anyone until a few months ago, never allowed herself the idea of being at peace with someone. Now she has someone who loves her for who she is as a person, not as a hero or political tool, and who is more than happy to let her take her time to accept that love.

Fennorian spent his adolescence feeling just completely and utterly wrong. He worked his ass off to study how he could transition and live his life for himself, not his birth parents, and just as he finally achieved that goal, he gets turned into a vampire. He has spent his entire life in a body that doesn’t feel like it’s really his. Now he has someone who sees his dedication and focus that others found weird, who loves him not in spite but because of it, and who would do anything to defend his happiness.

So it really isn’t just three chapters of sex. It’s three chapters of communication, honesty, and understanding. There’s so much dialogue and admiration and love, sex is merely the byproduct.

TL;DR - I’m so unbearably in love with them and the pure adoration they have for each other. I love that they’ve found love. Their first time is so long because it’s so much more than just “a first time.”

[beeblackburn]

1, 6, 22 and 31 for the asks? 💖

Thank you, @xserpx!

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

I mean... I'm not sure most of the characters I read/watch are comfort ones in that sense, I think?

FitzChivalry Farseer (Realm of the Elderlings) - He's so stupid, it's almost hilarious. Like, he's a mess, he's a right mess, but I've always found something familiar and comforting in how Fitz navigates his depression, his repressed feelings that spill out into cathartic rage, and yeah, his total fuck-ups, but is capable of still having loved ones, making up for his mistakes, and having a semblance of a life. I don't know, as a fellow depressed person, Fitz gives me a strange hope that life isn't irreversibly broken, no matter the circumstances, even if Hobb's too good a writer to promise an utter happily-ever-after for us.

Stannis Baratheon (A Song of Ice and Fire) - He's also really stupid. This fucking lobster king, so pedantic, teeth-grinding, grudge-gnawing, snappish, and socially awkward. There's a lot of good reasons I latched onto this fool in my teenage years and still find a familiarity to him. That being said, I've always found the man comforting in how... solid he is, past the surface. He's all the above, but he rewards good service, he tries to grow past his grievances, he puts in the work and isn't happy to do it, but he grinds his teeth because someone has to do it. He's a source of stability in an increasingly chaotic narrative.

Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire) - She used to be so innocent in her outlook, just a child increasingly swept up in the storm of a dark fantasy world's chaos, constantly told she's stupid and foolish for believing in better, and refusing to stoop down to it, despite a Rogues' Gallery of mentors trying to corrupt her towards moral darkness. I'll always take solace in how she keeps such hope and idealism, naïve at first, then fiercely held onto, despite most things that gave her joy now give her nightmares and horrors, still keeping in her heart, All the stories can't be lies.

Legosi (Beastars) - I think it's partly how much I can read neurodivergence in him, but there's some deeply familiar with how much Legosi is a deeply introverted weirdo in his own right. He has his little quirks, he loves to read tragedies, he's got an uncomfortable relationship with his body and self and urges, he fucks up in small and tremendous socially awkward ways, all of which I latch onto. Yet, he is always sincere, he tries to be kindly and meet anyone halfway, even if he's scary and weird by society's definition, and even gets to live a content life after dropping out of high school, as a service worker who enjoys getting to know more experiences past a more societally-acceptable course.

Crown Prince Orso (The Age of Madness) - Yes, even with that trilogy ending. Like, it's Orso! Whenever I read his chapters, I just know I'm in for some depressed thoughts, wry, self-deprecating humor, and him to acknowledge he knows nothing, but by god, he'll try his best. In a world full of traitors, cutthroats, and tyrants, Orso's mostly just a nice, depressed dude who wants to do the right thing, treats those he cherishes with all the affection through the haze of depression, and maybe have a drink or drugs along the way, refreshingly so.

6. Why did you do that?

Honestly, because she probably needed the money more than me, and someone else could also watch really gnarly, sicko movies.

22. What type of person are you?

I mean... a self-deprecating, self-centered, hot-tempered, perfectionistic, paranoid, stubborn, spiteful, envious, petty, grumpy, needy, lazy, and depressed basket case of a person.

On the other hand, I do try to be non-judgmental, thoughtful, generous, curious, loyal, and kind, so.

31. What type of music keeps you grounded?

Judging from my soundcloud's liked songs, I'm drawn to future bass type songs to keep me in that specifically grounded feeling. I've got plenty others I listen to, but a good chunk of songs are meant to give me some ambient noise or enliven me a little in mood.

[staysuki]

the best friend code | han jisung fic

pairing: reader x han jisung | bestfriends to lovers

genre: fluff, non idol au

word count: 1.6k

warnings: suggestive remarks

synopsis: you and your best friend have a set of rules you follow to maintain your boundary of friendship. it's always been easier that way, but rules have always been meant to be broken.

back when you two were young and impressionable pre-pubescent children, you've always been left to your own devices by your parents. both trustworthy kids who just like to play with each other and not cause any trouble.

by the time you two got tired of playing house, you remember lounging on the couch, turning on the tv and snickering to each other whenever you'd switch to the "adult" channels.

and no, not that kind of adult.

the kind of "adult" channel filled with boring news segments and wacky game shows— but the part you and jisung always waited for were the primetime shows: the cheesy afternoon dramas and the angsty telenovelas about broken families that had plot twists per episode.

because of this, your young minds had been plagued with unrealistic standards of how relationships work.

what scarred the two of you the most were the never ending reruns of classic romantic tragedies.

you guys always see two people start as friends then fall in love then end up breaking up, hearts broken, friendship no longer mended.

you remember finishing a certain movie and the two of you cried for minutes before deciding on a pact:

don't fall in love with each other so that you'd stay together.

as you grew up side by side, you kept true to the rules, though as you started developing mature minds, you realized how ridiculous that pact was. it was a contract written by two 7 year olds, it was bound to be childish.

nonetheless, it ended up with the two of you being a bit awkward when having to navigate through these rules as adults.

rule number one: no cuddling at all whatsoever, touching is gross and weird

"wanna huddle up on the couch while we watch rick and morty?" jisung asked, spreading his arms over the couch, urging you to sit beside him.

"that's not even a cuddle-together type of show."

"bitch, who said we were cuddling?"

you rolled your eyes, plopping down on the empty space right next to him and he immediately wrapped his arms over your shoulder, pulling you into his body. though jisung was naturally affectionate, the times he'd do this kind of thing was closer to being rare— not that he didn't like cuddling, you two just grew up not ever touching each other at all.

"this is cuddling."

"really? i couldn't tell."

rule number two: don't cook for each other, only husband and wife do that!!

"y/n~ when are you gonna make me ramdon?"

"jisung, they're literally just two different kinds of instant noodles mixed together, i think you can make that on your own." you replied, barely looking away from the tv as he whined beside you.

"you sure about that?" he challenged, making you pause for a bit. you knew how abhorrent he was in the kitchen and god-forbid he tries to burn down his apartment.

that night, you found yourself grumbling to yourself as you watched han jisung devour an entire plate of ramdon in front of you, not bothering to offer you some as you see his cheeks getting stuffed full with the noodles.

out of spite, you grabbed a fork and took all of the chopped steak that you added in, doing so in an insane speed that even your best friend couldn't stop.

he started to protest, "yah! that's mine!"

"i'm literally the one who made this."

rule number three: don't do anything to each other that you'd do with a love partner

"happy anniversary!!" jisung appeared from the door, a conniving smile on his face as he gave you a tight hug, spinning you around as if you haven't seen each other in years— it's only been five hours.

"w-what?"

"it's our 21st anniversary, since we started being friends."

"don't we already celebrate this. twice a year. on our, you know, birthdays." you remarked, knowing that you were one of those rare people that have been together since you were born. quite literally so.

"well yeah, but y'know."

"how do you even know the exact date of our friendship."

"i asked my mom when they started introducing us and apparently it was a few months after you were born, specifically today."

"ahhuh, and you chose to start celebrating this today because?" doubt dripped from your voice as you addressed this question.

"can i have some money for subway."

"fuck you, no."

"but it's our anniversary!"

you ended up ordering subway sandwiches and binging netflix together on the couch.

rule number four: dates should come first before friendship

you walked out your room for the first time after 12 hours, cramming on procrastinated studies although mostly just taking power naps to keep your motivation for school going. you weren't sick, but you were definitely stressed out.

you see a well-dressed jisung raiding your kitchen, watching him snack on your groceries.

you knew this routine of his, it's his 'eat first so that i don't look like a slob during a date and also i don't have to pay for an expensive meal for myself'—also known as jisung's life hack to dating in college.

"special night?" you asked, catching the whiff of his special perfume reserved for date nights. he's the kind who gets different scents for different occasions. one time, he even had a different cologne for hook-ups.

"yup. someone from a different department. you good?"

you shrug, feeling meh. "yeah, just stressing out with homework and projects."

"how you holding up?"

"after one day, i've done an admirable job with two out of thirteen assessments."

"bitch, this is why i told you to like, stop procrastinating, mate."

you flipped him off, thoroughly ashamed with being caught in 4k at being bad in school.

"get your laptop, i'll help you out." he says, making your eyebrows shot up in surprise. you know that jisung had always been the smarter one between the two of you, and the more hardworking one at that.

"wouldn't you be late for your date?"

he shrugs off his jacket, waving you off nonchalantly. "i'll reschedule, it's fine."

it wasn't rare that he'd help you out, but it was the first time he'd blow off a date to do so.

rule number five: no sleeping on the same bed

it was a cold night, the storm booming outside your window as thunder sounded every so often. you cozied up on your blanket, finding comfort in the warmth before you slowly start drifting back to sleep— until you heard the door creak open, footsteps following the sound and a shifting of the other side of your bed as the figure had finally approached.

you knew exactly who it was as your bestfriend always crashed on your couch whenever he felt like it. however, you didn't know why he suddenly cuddled up next to you.

"jisung?"

he let out a small hum as you felt the vibration from his speech behind your back as he snuggled up closer, big spooning you, "mm."

"is the couch too uncomfortable for you now?"

"no. i just thought you wanted to be next to someone, you're afraid of thunder right?"

all drowsiness seemed to drain away from your brain as you sat up to turn around and face him with a confused expression, slightly taken aback with how he forgot something about you, "i— what. i stopped being scared of thunder ever since we were ten, idiot."

"is that so? oh well, i'm here now anyways, too lazy to get up." he shrugged, pulling you back to your sleeping position, though this time, you were now too wide awake to attempt going back to sleep.

"whatever, dork."

—rule number six: always be together forever

the noise of the storm was drowned out by the sound of your beating heart. wild and fast as it treaded on uncharted territory— cuddling in bed during a storm with han jisung.

you felt like you needed to say something to ease the awkwardness but quite frankly, you didn't want to embarrass yourself in case he was already asleep. but you were proven false when he decided to speak up instead. "i lied."

"what now."

"i know you're not afraid of thunder anymore." he said, and you could almost hear the cheeky grin on his face.

"if you wanted the bed, you could've just said so."

"no, i wanted to sleep next to you."

"w-why?"

"i wonder why."

"i don't know, idiot," you rolled your eyes, though with your back turned to him, he wouldn't even be able to tell. instead, you felt his arms wrap tighter around your waist, pulling you even impossibly closer to his space.

"because i love you, that's why."

"well, i love you too, i mean, we've been together since—"

"no, y/n, i'm in love with you."

"wha— b-but the rules—" the confession making you sit up and turn towards him, your eyes almost bulging out of it's socket as you stumbled over your words. you felt like if you spoke any more, you'd feel your heart be thrown up from your chest with it's erratic beating, you swear it's moving out of place.

"y/n, screw the rules, we made those when we were literal children. i think we're enough of an adult at this point to know what we both want and how to make it work."

"i guess?"

"pshh, please, i know you want me too." once again, he pulled you down towards him, but this time, you were facing each other, your noses inches apart from touching as your breaths mingled in the small space between.

if you kept the eye contact with him, you were pretty sure you'd lose your composure more than it already is so you opted to roll your eyes once again because this time he could actually see you do it, "well, maybe, but if you keep being cocky about it then i might change my mind."

"i'm kidding~ can i have a good night kiss now."

"you can kiss my ass."

"patience, y/n, we'll get to that."

a/n: just writing the short one-shot fics while i'm on break ^^;

mastertag: @leagreenly @geniejunn @90s-belladonna @loveliebri

networks: @ficscafe

[dadvans]

unpopular 911 opinions:

everyone in season one sucked at their job. i've been saying this.

while claudette didn't deserve to die, she did deserve major repercussions for her behavior. she fucking sucked, full stop. her behavior was transparent enough to report immediately. when she DID die i wasn't sad about it (and had i been may, i would have been maybe a weird level of satisfied), so arguably the show didn't pull its weight in developing her character or that relationship the way her relationship was written was like, okay, so you have had a coworker who sucks (everybody), but you've never had a corporate job where you needed to navigate that shit.

the way that may gets claudette out of that room is so goddamn stupid. i fully believe in succeeding out of spite but: stupid.

taylor's relationship with buck was danger the same way natalia's relationship was death. natalia didn't have the opportunity to be developed because of actress availability, so it's easy to dunk on that relationship, but taylor's life experience didn't justify how she used buck. even when she cooled off, he was never going to be anything outside of a catalyst for her career, and she saw him as the long term story that he was. she was never going to love him outside of that. she may have said "i love you," but she meant it in a way that was inaccessible to him.

not necessarily an opinion but i do want to extrapolate on this: in 2019 i sprained my ankle from a climbing fall that the doctors said "was worse than if i had broken it," by tearing every single ligament in my ankle. i didn't walk for two months, and the first time i tried to walk was the most pain i've been in my entire life, and this includes the time when i had exposed bone and cartilage from a bad basketball game. eddie being on pain pills in 7x04 is insane. he would have been on two tylenol. if he wasn't, i am embarrassed on his behalf.

athena is better at her job after season 2, but she isn't great

i'm omitting my thoughts on bobby purely based on the most recent episode. what the fuck!!!! my beautiful son.

[neutinya]

Some relationships are you, a human, with a human partner, and other are you, a human, and your 240cm tall monster bf, but that's okay - !! I included their backstory as well as the setting up of the general context for this AU below the cut so if you’re interested,,, do consider reading it fhdjdj;;; I'm really happy with how this turned out and it's super fun to draw monster tooru and his 4 arms lmao I'm super excited for this AU;;; I really wanna draw more of it dndjjxjd

Iwa is monster-hunter royal blood. However he doesn't want to be heir to the monster hunter shit so he decided to run away the day before his coronation??

As a kid he would play with all the monster animals near the forest which is where he met his lizard familiar and llama ceb. The day he runs away he brings them with him??

The moment he ran away from his kingdom and title as prince he was immediately hunted down by hunters sent by his own family for dishonouring them the Iwaizumi name. Like he's straight up wanted??? ahhh

Somewhere along the way he meets Tooru and they probably wouldn't get along at the start

?? Like they meet at some weird beer house?? And Iwa obviously sticks out because he's human and humans aren't exactly super welcomed because of the history between monsters and humans. Iwa being oblivious to the monster world obviously doesn't realise why this four armed dude won't stop pestering him in spite of his attempts to keep a low profile.

Tooru had approached him because he was sure if he didn't step in, Iwa would have been killed

Iwa was initially extremely resistant to Tooru's "advances" until Tooru whispers into Iwa's ear that "I don't know if you realised but almost every monster in this beer house is staring at you with the intent to kill, so unless you want to leave this place alive, play along and let me get you out of here"

And Iwa just looks around the room and he realises that Tooru was right so he plays along and they try to leave but one of the monsters in the beer house walks up to them and asks Tooru to back off so they could kill Iwa, and Tooru is just like "no can do, he's a friend of mine" and the dude is just like "move." But Tooru is adamant much to the annoyance of the other. A fight kinda breaks out, but much to Iwa's surprise, Tooru managed to take all of them down with ease

As they go aside, Iwa just asks Tooru why doesn't he want to kill him like the rest of the monsters and Tooru is just 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 Iwa apologises for causing such a big commotion and getting Tooru involved unnecessarily. Tooru says it's not a problem and Iwa not really having that much money on him, asks if he could return him in some other way? He offers a family heirloom at first but Tooru is just like "Not interested, although how about you let me tag along wherever you're headed?"

Iwa’s response is just "???" Tooru says "look, you aren't getting anywhere in these parts as a human, if I tag along, you won't have to worry too much about being killed and you returned the favour, it's a win win."

So that's how they kinda go off on their journey!!! Iwa actually learns a lot about monsters from Tooru who seemed much more knowledgeable than he looked (no offense to Tooru but that was Hajime’s genuine first impression) There were so many different types of monsters and Iwa was just?? So amazed and almost excited that there were so many things for him to learn and explore??

Like okay they had a bad first impression but he was kinda starting to like Tooru as a companion, listening to way Tooru told all those stories offered him a comfort that he never had back at home

Tooru did most of the talking honestly but Iwa was always intently listening and Tooru could tell he was intrigued and super attentive so he didn’t mind

He did ask Iwa about why he was wandering around in the first place and why the hell was he just traversing across the land with no plan or knowledge of the terrain. Iwa tells Tooru he ran away from his family but neglected to tell Tooru he was of royal monsterhunter blood. Iwa fires back the same question and Tooru responds saying “I get bored of spending all my time in the same old place every day.” neglecting to tell Iwa the fact that he too was of royal blood, the king to one of the many monster kingdoms. (Actually one of the most feared in fact??)

I was thinking the four armed form isn't his real monster form but a less scary version, he's actually a huge fearsome beast but he would walk around in this form to blend with the common folk. This also explains why people don’t recognize him, because if they really knew who he was, they’d be terrified of him.

Tooru is extremely flirty and generally enjoys teasing Hajime. Iwa's lizard does not like Tooru at all. It would be sitting on Iwa's shoulder, breathing small fireballs at Tooru whenever the brunette got too close- For example, when Tooru tries to wrap an arm around Iwa's shoulder or waist, Haji’s lizard would get extremely angry and began attacking him. Tooru is super upset about this tiny little creature preventing him from getting close to his new human companion, but nevertheless, he learns to pick moments where the lizard is asleep to try and engage with Haji

Sidenote, Iwa is a really fucking good archer and good at knives. He may not have had the heart to be a monster hunter, but he definitely had the physical skills to be one if he desired.

Of course there’s a bunch of shenanigans, but honestly speaking there’s also a good amount of sexual tension?? They have a lot of moments where they kinda save each other, whether it be having run ins with unfriendly monsters or humans, to navigating dangerous terrain and making hard decisions;;

They grow to be rather close friends I would dare say;; In fact, for the most part, Tooru would be Iwa's first genuine friend :(( Iwa was never given the luxury of having friends growing up. He spent most of his time training to be a monster hunter or learning about them, which is why he grew super attached to Tooru platonically at first

Once they have a pretty mean run in where Tooru ends up seriously hurt;; Iwa was so scared that he would lose Tooru at that moment;; Tooru fake dies to kinda tease Iwa but he didn't expect Iwa to cry, so as Iwa is there like "don't die on me you idiot-" Tooru "comes back to life" and is all like "awww is Iwa-chan crying because of me?" And Iwa, embarrassed, just punches him in the chest and wipes away his tears like "shut the fuck up asshole"

Tooru is just like "ow- I may not be dead but I'm still kinda hurt you know?" And Iwa feels bad so he just tries to play it off like "that's what you deserve dumbass" before treating Tooru's wounds. They end up spending the night at this cave near a lake where they decided to stay for a few days since Tooru was pretty beat up and the weather was pretty bad

Haji pretty much nursed Tooru back to health, finding berries, herbs and all that during the day in order to make medicine and food

I think at one point Tooru comments "You're really good at this kinda thing huh?" And Iwa is just confused like "good at what?" And Tooru elaborates "taking care of people. Not everyone can make medicine like you do you know?" And Iwa just says it was nothing and he learned most of it from reading when he was a kid

Also like I said the weather was pretty bad so imagine Iwa curling up next to his llama and lizard for warmth. Tooru finds it so fucking adorable??? Clearly the two of them loved Iwa and vice versa, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the sight uxjxhdh

So like one night he just casually says "you guys sure look warm over there" and Iwa just looks at him like 😐

"I gave you my cape you know" and Tooru just "Monsters can't regulate heat like humans do, at least not my species" That was a lie but Iwa didn't know that, so he kinda just looks at Tooru funny before scooting over to Tooru and lying down next to him. His llama and lizard follow, and scoot on Tooru's other side so Tooru is kinda sandwiched in between Haji and the pets. Iwa just mumbles a quiet "now go to sleep dumbass" and Tooru just smiles like a fucking idiot

Iwa quickly dozes off but Tooru not so much, when he was sure Iwa was asleep he gently drapes the cape over Iwa instead before going to bed himself

The next day Iwa is the first to wake up and much to his fucking surprise, he was pretty much incapable of moving because Tooru had somehow wound up hugging him with two of his arms. He was so embarrassed he thought he could die so he could only stay there and not do anything. After while he realises that staying like that could only mean more mental suffering so he slowly tries inching away from Tooru to which he eventually succeeds

He does his morning routine which was to look for berries and herbs because Tooru needed quite a bit of medicine. Tooru was definitely close to being back to his healthy normal self but he still needed to make sure that everything was in check

[ghostcaterwaul-doesnt-write]

Could you still drop some headcanons or fic lore or other stuff from the now-discarded Metal Lords fic ft Alice? You seemed so attached to the idea and stressed out so much about it that I would like to see it in some form, if you're comfortable sharing. If not, that's obviously okay too! 🖤

Sure! Not really sure exactly what kind of information would be the most interesting, though. This got really long so I'm putting in under a read more thingy.

I kinda started out knowing some basic stuff:

Alice’s character bio

Knowing she was going to have a crush on Emily

Knowing she was eventually going to get close to Hunter

Knowing that Alice x Emily and Hunter x Kevin were both going to remain unrequited or at least unresolved. Like, in order for this fic to work, neither one of those could be endgame

Wanting to go for a queerplatonic relationship between Alice and Hunter

A scene I was dying to fit into the fic at some point was Emily being upset about something and Alice attempting to comfort her and calm her down and Emily just wanting comfort from Kevin at that moment, so Alice reluctantly goes to get Kevin, who happens to be with Hunter at the time and Kevin going to comfort Emily, right? And Hunter making a comment to Alice like “shouldn’t you be the one to do that?” and Alice saying “Emily doesn’t need me anymore. She has a boyfriend now.” and Alice’s voice is just fucking dripping with bitterness as she delivers that line of dialogue right? And I wanted that to be the moment that Hunter realizes that Alice is in love with Emily.

I wanted every conversation that Alice and Hunter had about their respective crushes to like, never include admissions of love, right? I was never going to include the dialogue “I’m in love with ____” or anything of that nature. I wanted it to be obvious to both of them that they were in similar situations by the way they talked about it with each other. I also wanted some friction here because you just know that Hunter would say something negative about Emily while venting to Alice and Alice to get super protective and vise versa.

Alice ultimately was going to end up having a stronger bond with Hunter over Emily.

It was super important to me that Hunter and Alice never got romantically involved but still formed a strong and unique bond.

I’ll be honest, I feel like queerplatonic feelings might be a little confusing as a teenager, especially if you aren’t familiar with the concept of queerplatonic relationships, because it’d be like “I feel strong feelings about this person that’s a bit more than friendship but not really romantic?” and I do kind of like the idea of Alice and Hunter actually talking about that and I’m sort of entertained by the idea of them like, trying to navigate their feelings for each other together in a that “maybe we should try kissing and see if that helps us figure it out?” sort of way, only to be like “No, that felt weird, we shouldn’t have done that. Why did we do that?” immediately after like, an innocent peck on the lips or something (they definitely joke about this later on). I do want them to eventually just settle on “this thing we have is special and important to both of us but not romantic or sexual in any way” and just like, being okay with that and appreciating that they found that with each other?

It was also super important to me that Alice and Hunter are physically affectionate towards one another in a strictly platonic way.

Platonic cuddle/nap dates definitely become a thing.

I’ve mentioned on my main that Alice is secretive about a lot of stuff and kind of closed off and all that. She starts to open up to Hunter about a lot of things, and it starts off as like, a petty spite thing against Emily. She tells Hunter stuff that she feels like she should have already opened up to Emily about (for example, her music and art and even her self-harm and substance abuse issues among other things) because she feels like Emily has abandoned her for Kevin and this starts as like, her subtle way of getting back at Emily for the perceived abandonment.

Her substance abuse eventually causes a lot of friction between her and like, everyone, but mostly her and Hunter. Especially when her habits start to intensify.

So, I have a headcanon that Hunter is one of those people that hates the smell of weed, right? Like, he can tolerate it to a certain extent but he will definitely complain about it, at least a little bit. Alice is a stoner. He’s definitely gonna bitch a little every time she lights up a joint or something around him.

I did eventually want Alice to form some sort of friendship with Kevin. I had the idea of Kevin maybe trying a weed edible for the first time and getting the paranoia and stuff and Emily calls Alice for help because she’s aware Alice is at least familiar with edibles and weed, right? And Alice reluctantly helps Kevin through his first edible trip, because Emily asked. While high, Kevin gushes to Alice about how much he loves Emily and she actually finds it endearing and just kind of decides “you know what? he loves her and makes her happy and it doesn’t seem like I have to worry about him doing anything to hurt her, so I’m just gonna accept their relationship even though it hurts like hell.” He also makes her promise not to tell Hunter that he got stoned, and she keeps this promise. This was one of those scenes that didn't really make it into the "official outline" of what I definitely wanted to happen but it was in a secondary outline of events that were like, "maybe this could happen?" I had a lot of "maybe" scenes.

The more notes I make on Alice and the more I wrote in the draft I started, the more I start to realize Alice might be autistic. Which makes sense because autistic people do have a tendency to gravitate towards each other and I mean… *gestures at Skullflower*

There’s sooo much more but this is already super long so if you want to know something specific, I probably have an answer for you. I have like, pages and pages of notes for this. I’m a little sad that I can’t seem to make this fic work. When I read all this back, it’s not that Alice doesn’t fit in with the canon characters or in the world, I just can’t seem to figure out how to tell this story, I think. I don’t know. Something with this just wasn’t working. Maybe info-dumping about it all more on here will help me make sense of why this fic doesn’t seem to want to be written.

[glacialdeath]

@crimsonstray moved from here

“Of course I don’t remember her.” It’s weird to think that she had a blood sibling in this world at one point, even if she was no longer alive. It’s something that gives her unrest, a burden all her own, causing her to shift in her seat, switching which of her legs is atop the other. “I had always known that my brother's wife had a similarity to me, but I didn’t imagine anything close to the truth.” Rukia felt like she had abandoned the idea of any blood relations a long time ago, so maybe that was why she didn’t question the lie as much as she should have.

She wants to believe Renji’s words, but part of her remains uncertain she could ever be anything but a burden to her brother. Upon the pages of her mind there’s an imprinted image of her brother seeming forever disappointed in her, never looking at her, looking past her, and leaving her to rot in misery. It’s an image that is enough to shush her with a deep frown and sigh. She knows he has some sense of care for her though, underneath all the layers he presents himself with, his actions had proven that to her. “Yeah. He does care. I just don’t know how to show him I do too.” She felt like she had to return the favor in a way, and words were clearly not their forte. They are two people who have no clue on how to express their feelings, built on a hang time of forty years. The word brother still feels like a word with uncertain meaning for her, and the sort of expectation of siblings for nobles never seemed quite right either. Rukia places her head in her palms, trying to stop herself from getting too lost on what she could do to help. She had seen a bit of a normal sibling relationship in Ichigo’s house; Yuzu in particular seemed straightforward, expressing her care easily with meals and chores. It gives her an idea. ”Maybe–” She corrects herself, eliminating the hesitation in her words and voice and speaking with conviction as she grabs her hands into fist with determination. “I’ll make my brother something to eat while he’s still recovering. His standards are probably high but…” Rukia frowns, understanding the hill she would throw herself up to achieve her goal is difficult, but if she wanted to start somewhere, it probably was a good place, or it seemed a normal enough thing to do. “I’ll just keep trying until it’s good enough.” The idea still makes her nervous, but she tries to overshadow that feeling with her will that wants to succeed out of spite of Renji’s teasing words on her inability to cook. “And then you can’t say I can’t cook either, how’s that!?” She raises her nose in the air, gloating at him before she’s even started, folding her arms with pride. “I may not be the most patient, but I’m stubborn, and I’ve got plenty of time right now.” She rallies her own determination, figuring she can solve a few issues in one. “I’ll even let you eat the practice rounds but you have to give me your honest opinion, or else I’ll never get to my brother's standards.” Then it dawns on her on what she is trying to achieve and her momentum falls off as she lowers her head with a sigh, still lost in how to navigate through it all. “... Maybe this is a horrible idea. I don’t even know what I could try to make that he would like.” She can't tell if she used to always be this wishy-washy on matters, or if it’s something she’s developed into while under the Kuchiki house, or if it's just because it’s a close personal matter that she gets this way. Regardless, she's tired of second guessing herself so much, but it seems impossible to stop herself.

She would blink at Renji’s revelation. It’s an odd ambition, but not unheard of considering how quickly he had risen to the role of lieutenant. “Surpass my brother? …Like in rank?” She holds her judgement, waiting for clarification, but she’s clearly confused, tilting her head at him. She knows though, Renji really has the stubbornness of a dog that bites and doesn’t let go; once he sets his mind he always follows it well.

“I’ve been to plenty of parties. But they aren’t like what you’re thinking. They’re very formal, lots of introductions and sitting up straight for hours and engaging in basic conversation on the most rudimentary things.” She remarks, chuckling a bit at considering Renji at such events. “You’d be awful at it. Nothing is straightforward or as it seems.” Rukia notes that he seemed far off from the noble world she had been thrown into, and that is probably for the better. “I used to keep a cheat sheet of names of the guests we would have so I could remember them, but I mixed a bunch of them up anyways. But I don’t really have any noble acquaintances outside the family. Shinigami tend to be in place as guards at events all the time, although some noble families seem to hire shinigami to work for them privately.” She had answered without thinking, but only now wonders the reason for it coming up. “Why do you ask? Thinking of crashing a noble party or something?”

He knows her well, and she can’t seem to shake him or his persistence. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t earn himself a punch of her fist at his gut if only just so he’ll topple enough to not look at her in such a fashion. “Don’t perceive me so freely! It’s rude to look at a woman like that!” She shouts. “Try saying that when I jab my practice sword in your wounds, fool!” Just in case, she makes note of the spots of his bandages, eyeing his shoulders to be particularly vulnerable areas, if just so she could make sure to make him regret those words. She’s grumbling, but it is a nice idea to have this sort of consistency back in her life. Renji’s not that direct, but in some ways, his words to look out for her feel like some kind of promise, an oath that he isn’t going away again anytime soon. It's the kind of thing that eases her mind, letting go of some of the knots she carries herself with. It was also nice to know that just because he’s above her in rank doesn’t mean they weren’t the sort that didn’t watch each other’s back: they were never the sort that could be comfortable if how they cared for each other was all one-sided. He talks big, but she shakes her head knowing she already has a leg up on him. “Did you forget who was the one who came to visit whom? I’m one step ahead of you, fool.” She reckons she should still be a bit better about taking care of herself, if she is as independent as she likes to think of herself as. Rukia adds one other comment on the matter, her voice quieting as she brings her hands into her lap. “I’ll figure out how to take care of myself better. I just… have a lot on my mind.” She can’t help but let out another sigh as those thoughts all rise to the top again.

Rukia would tilt her head at his apology. She wasn’t thinking that hard about it, barely noticing she had been the one who had taken the initiative to pull away in the first place. More than his actions, she’s more uncomfortable with his apology, drawing attention more to it all, unsure if she missed something. “I’m not uncomfortable. I’d let you know if I was, idiot. I–” Explaining her actions isn’t something she keeps track of well and she rubs her eyes to try and rouse herself to think of a reason beyond that she just felt like she should and nobility had imprinted some kind of measure of intimacy that was appropriate. In the end Rukia explains it differently. “I just wanted to stand on my own feet a little.” She does a little bounce on her feet to prove her point.

She doesn’t sit well with pity, little or entirely as it may be, holding herself close as if to try and keep herself together. He brings up another that catches her off guard. “Captain? Er, Sure.” Rukia is far from being placed back on-duty in her current state, so her captain was a bit far off from her mind. She hadn’t really considered her captain, nor how aware Renji was of her assignment in the thirteenth. But Ukitake did tend to be insightful on these kinds of matters now that she thinks of it. Although the idea of adding to his plate when he still bears the whole squad on his shoulders makes her frown. Rukia considers she could discuss it with him, or at least it might do her some good to see him, if only just so she could make sure to thank him as well. "I guess I could talk with him."

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 25th march 2021

pairing : denki x gn!reader

genre : angst to fluff

themes : established relationship

request : angst to fluff hcs idea! denki hearing his S/O talk about their day and Denki being a little mad about something else that day he explodes his anger to her and he says "will you shut the fuck up? damn im so fucking tired of you". His S/O avoid him the following week even at work. Denki, feeling alone he asked his S/O what he did wrong. And then his S/O, almost crying, tells him what he did. He felt so guilty and bad and was finfing the way how to make it up to the. Thanks :)

note : i’m changing it slightly so they’re still in UA :p

[ denki ]

> you literally don’t argue

> in your 2 years of being together you’ve argued probably only twice and that was about safety it wasn’t out of spite it was out of concern

> obviously no one likes fighting but you both despise not being able to talk to each other as normal

> you’re the couple who do tiktok dances and play stupid pranks on eachother even if it takes hours of denki bribing you

> you have date nights every other day

> so when the bakusquad don’t see you together for a week they get a little concerned

-> scenario

> today had been a particularly tiring day training, everyone was tired but denki seemed to be going hard on himself

> he was mad at himself for not being able to withstand a certain amount of electricity before short circuiting

> since you were also busy training you couldn’t reassure him or make him feel better

> as soon as training ended denki headed to his dorm room laying face in his pillow

> you had arrived a little after him with mina and since he wasn’t playing video games downstairs you figured he’d probably be showering or something

> “hey denks” he just made a grunting noise as you sat on the bed

> “it was kinda fun seeing how far everyone could go with their quirks, oh and at one point i went against mina and her new moves are so cool, i wish i could’ve used that move you helped me make but there weren’t many chances to use it”

> you looked back down at the blonde his head was still in his pillow, you nudged him a little “how was your day love” you laughed a little at hid position

> “oh i think i saw you fighting against kiri you were doing so-”

> “do you ever shut the fuck up, i’m so damn tired of you y/n” he turned over slightly staring at his ceiling

> “what-” you were confused he’d never snapped like that

> “god you’re so annoying” he interjected you scoffed not wanting him to see you upset

> “right, you won’t be saying the same thing when you’re begging for my attention”

> he hadn’t really caught your words, he didn’t even realise what he had said

> when you got back to your room you overthought it a lot how long has he thought that about me, did we just break up

> you knew you were overthinking but that didn’t stop you from crying about it fuck has he really thought that shit about me from the beginning, that he’s tired of me, that i’m annoying

> you avoided him like the plague that night, you didn’t go downstairs much and usually you kept your door unlocked so he can sneak in but you locked it

> it hurt a lot knowing he thought that about you

> you went downstairs to grab a drink kirishima bakugou and sero were sat playing video games

> “hey y/n are you gonna play tonight?” you shook your head and walking over to him to see what theyre playing

> “you okay? you look tired” well i am tiring apparently

> “yeah sorry, just tired” you lied

> “oh in that case you should rest!” you smiled at the redhead nodding at his words

> “oh and y/n kaminari seemed worked up when we sparred earlier is he okay” you winced a little before pretending to have not heard them

> you opened the door of your room and struggled holding your water phone and books

> “hi sunshine” a sleepy voice that usually made your heart race except it made your heart rate speed up for a different reason

> you quickly closed the door and locked it sighing

> “y/n? what happened? is this one of your pranks you’re not getting me back by locking me out”

> the next day you woke up slightly earlier than usual, denki usually woke up late anyway so you took your time

> you walked to your class with bakugou and kirishima and sat in your usual seat

> when denki arrived he was a little confused since you hadn’t stumbled into his room at 6:30am and cuddled him until your alarm went off

> you didn’t have breakfast with him or walk to class with him

> you hadn’t even looked at him this morning and it scared him

> he wanted to talk to you but aizawa walked in making everyone sit in their seats

> for sparring partners you paired with bakugou since your quirks are pretty compatible

> during your sparring session you had pinned his arm behind his back which meant he fell on you since you were both so unbalanced, he had his arms on the ground caging you beneath him

> the electric type stared in jealousy wait is this why they’re acting weird? because they want to leave me for him

> fucking dumbass no just don’t hurt my feelings🌝

> you sat with the dekusquad since you’re friends with all of them

> it wasn’t too weird to others since you and the deku squad are pretty good friends

> you successfully ignored him for another school day but there was still the dorms

> “oi dumbass we’re doing movie night you comin” you smiled at the blondes softness towards his friends “sorry i’ve got uh homework”

> “uh homework?” you glared at him “you know what i mean”

> he rolled his eyes before going back to your friends

> denki watched from afar he wanted to make you smile, he wanted to do that so why weren’t you letting him

> “y/n” you froze a little hearing his voice so pleading but you shook it off and went to your room

> the next couple days were hard you didn’t know where you stood with the boy and you were honestly afraid to find out

> denki had tried to talk to you but everytime he did have the chance he chickened out afraid you’d say you don’t want him anymore and that terrified him so much he couldn’t think about it without tearing up

> it had been about a week since what happened and everyone noticed the atmosphere

> you both looked miserable and you wouldn’t be caught in the same room together

> “oi y/n open up, Now dumbass” you groaned letting the blonde in

> “what the fuck is going on with you and dunce face?!” you sighed

> “i’m not exactly sure” that wasnt a lie, you don’t really know where you stand with him

> “explain”

> “i went to his dorm as normal and he told me i was tiring and annoying and asked if i ever shut up.. it may not seem like much since you say that all the time but it’s the way he said it, he said it with so much hate, just didn’t feel great i guess”

> “just suck it up and talk to him, you don’t know what he’s thinking so find out”

> “and what if he wants to leave me”

> “then fuckin let him if things are meant to work out they will, besides i’m not doing this out of kindness, you’re uh not at your strongest during training so”

> you smiled a little hearing the blondes excuses for caring about his friends

> just as you let bakugou out denki watched and looked at the ground feeling tears in his eyes

> your eyes widened a little as he pushed open the door letting himself in

> “i don’t know what i did but you could’ve broken up with me before dating him you know!”

> you furrowed your eyebrows holding back tears

> “is that some sort of fucking joke denki?, you can’t tell me i’m tiring and annoying asking me if i ever shut up and then accuse me of cheating when that was very clearly your way of telling me to fuck off”

> just as he was about to ask what you meant he remembered what had happened that day, he was so tired and caught up in his own anger that he had forgotten

> “what the fuck, y/n i’m sorry i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to say any of that.. i shouldn’t have accused you of anything or taken it out on you” he let a tear slip out staring at the ground

> you thought about it and scolded yourself for overthinking so much

> “can we be okay y/n.. i love you even if i don’t deserve to”

> you sniffled a little at his words before smiling “do that again and i’ll fucking gut you”

> he jumped towards you with a grin on his face engulfing you in a hug

> “i missed this, i missed you so much baby”

> you nodded into his neck “me too”

A/N : pain only pain, i barely see any denki angst to fluffs so i’m here feeding my people😫

taglist : @todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres @gaysimpsstuff