#and he and I have a motto about our relationship

[zepskies]

hi zep!! do you have a fic rec list for soldier boy or any fave soldier boy fics/writers in general?

Hey there!

Ah, I should've known this question was coming lol. The answer is, I do now! 💚

Stories are Soldier Boy x Reader unless otherwise specified. This is 18+ only content!

@waynes-multiverse -

Bad Reputation Summary: In a world full of careless supes, powerful people, and corruption on all levels, Y/N’s the typical millennial, trying to make the world a better place one good deed at a time. As a civil rights lawyer in New York City, justice, kindness, and selflessness are her motto. Her patience is tested, however, when none other than America’s ass himself shows up on her doorstep and needs help. [series complete]

Soldier Boy Masterlist - Recommending everything she writes, because I've read and loved it all.~

@venus-haze -

She's Out To Please, She Pouts Her Best Summary: Soldier Boy’s been pulled from the European Theater to sell war bonds to the American people, the goodwill tour dotted by big cities and small towns alike. In the meantime, he gets familiar with the variety of women in dazzling costumes that accompany his speeches with carefully choreographed dances. You’re, without a doubt, his favorite of them all.

Watch Honey Drip, Can't Keep Away Summary: America’s golden son can't keep his eyes off of you, almost like he wants to devour you whole...or something like that.

Power Play Summary: So, you lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship. It happens all the time. Maybe not quite like this.

@luci-in-trenchcoats -

The Boys Masterlist (I'm about to read Thunder in Our Hearts in particular.)

@rizlowwritessortof -

Gladiator Reborn

Gladiator Reborn Part 2

Say It Summary: Ben has a jealous streak, and you have a stubborn streak - but only one of you can win.

@kaleldobrev

Soldier Boy Masterlist

@lamentationsofalonelypotato -

Take a Chance on Me Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think?

I'll keep adding to this list as I read more of this (charming) asshole.

Soldier Boy Masterlist || Main Masterlist

[bones4thecats]

hello it's me again, and you probably already know which characters I'm going to request, if it's not a bother for you I would like to make a request for Jamil and Leona (you can clearly see that I love these two) with an extremely s/o loving and that regardless of the time or place, he is being very loving with his boyfriend (giving him kisses on the face, hugs, that kind of thing)

Type of Writing: Request Characters: Jamil and Leona Name: {Character} with a very affectionate S/O Requester: @marinahavik

A/N: Not gonna lie, this was a very fun piece to write for. I personally see these guys as people who don't show off affection so much, so, if they were to have an affectionate S/O, it would get very interesting.

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🐍 This guy was raised to give his life away to another, not to take what he wanted, and he has accepted that fact, despite it being harder than anything else

🐍 So, when you rolled up into his life, he did not expect you to be drawn more to him than his oldest friend, Kalim, who was known as the 'Sunshine Boy' of Scarabia

🐍 Jamil was off-put by how affectionate you were when it came to your friendship, since he is a very secluded and fairly introverted person when it comes to affection being thrown around like it was going out of style

🐍 Eventually when your relationship began, you somehow doubled in affection, and, even when he was working, you would hug him from behind, or run by him and kiss his nose while patting his head

🐍 His love language is a mixture of both quality time and acts of service, while the one he struggles with the most is physical touch, in which you excel in

🐍 It's as if you were the real-life missing puzzle piece of his heart

🐍 It took him a while, but, once Jamil gets used to your constant love-filled attacks, it's entertaining for all of Scarabia

🐍 Kalim would just be walking throughout the halls of his dorm and crack Jamil's door open to see you laying down on his chest to take a napping break, one that he really needs, and eventually all of Scarabia was taking photos and awing at how cute you both were together

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🦁 While not as bad as Jamil, Leona also isn't a big fan of physical affection, at least when it's public that is

🦁 He knows exactly where to put his hands and how hard to squeeze when it comes to hugging you, he knows his S/O's weak spots like the backs of his hands

🦁 Leona normally lays around Savanaclaw, not caring about what is happening around him, 'if someone started a mess, they could also surely end it', was his motto whenever asked

🦁 When he first met you and saw how touchy you were when it came to relaxing with one another, he got annoyed easily with it

🦁 He would swing his tail at you like a whip to your hand, causing you to grip it and pout as you turned away from him, going on about how much of a meanie he was

🦁 Leona can handle your touchiness to an extent, he gets annoyed if someone touches him out of nowhere, it reminds him of his nephew, Cheka, who always yells his name before pouncing and attacking him with hugs and nuzzles

🦁 But, whenever you tapped him on the shoulder and either opened your arms or just asked him straight-up for a hug or cuddles, he would smirk and begin teasing you before wrapping himself around you from behind

🦁 We all love our teasing boyfriends, right?

[two-white-butterflies]

i can see you | dr3

Description: Secret relationship tension. You both struggle to keep the relationship a secret.

Pairing: daniel ricciardo/red-bull admin!reader

Daniel's arms were wrapped around your torso, carefully leading you towards the secluded station of redbull racing. You've been dating each other for six-months now, and due to his job and your adoration for privacy - you've never really announced your relationship to the public. It's not like they're supposed to care, right?

'Private but not secret' was your motto.

Everyone in redbull racing knew that Daniel was dating somebody - they just didn't know who.

"Can we get some milkshakes before the race?" you inquired, knowing that the both of you were going to spend the entire race watching from a tiny screen. It could get boring. "Yeah, chocolate or strawberry?" he asked, reaching for his phone to call someone.

"Mint," you replied with a smile.

"Are you serious?" he chuckled - showing you a toothy grin smile.

"Yeah," you hummed.

"Did Max really expose our relationship?" you giggled while pressing small kisses to his lips. "Don't worry, he doesn't know who my girlfriend is." he says for certain, hands trailing up to cup your cheeks. "Really?" you raised an eyebrow.

Daniel told Max everything.

You used to joke around that they were the ones dating.

"Yep,"

Daniel dared to kiss you in the open.

His lips were pressed against yours, hands squeezing your ass - while his hat partially covered your face. "Daniel," you whispered, surprised by his sudden bravery. "Y/N," he repeated your name.

He pulled away from your face - hands raising to settle on your waist. "What are you doing?" you chuckled, pecking his lips. The both of you were lucky since it was lunchtime - thus, there weren't any people in the garage. "Kissing you?" he answered.

"How courageous..." you hummed while he pulled your body closer. "Wanna see how far this goes?" he joked - pulling away in time when another personnel enters the garage.

"Daniel?" Christian raised his eyebrows. "We're filming content, sir." you quickly lied - pulling your phone out to pretend to be filming him. "Oh, okay - have fun then." he waved goodbye - not wanting to be part of another tiktok.

Daniel wiped the tears away from your eyes. "Hey, twitter is a shitty place. Twitter is irrelevant, like who even uses it?" he calmed you down - hiding your phone in his pocket before you could read more hate tweets about you. "If someone feels this about us, I feel shitty - Dan." your voice sounded hoarse from the hours of crying.

"That's normal - but it doesn't mean that you'll live based on what anonymous people say." he reasoned, already used to the hate. "I know - but I never wanted our relationship to be exposed this way." you sobbed, burying your face in his chest.

"I agree, but my manager said that this can be our chance to fuck them up. We need to own our narrative."

F1 FANS DISCORD SERVER

kittenwhispers: anyone else find it weird that daniel is dating some 23 year old 😭? - thebossdaddy: it's weird fr WAHAHA

rosesforrose: it's not weird, i think they look good together. daniel's always been childish anyways. (edited)

annieunnie: nah i ship them so badd acck

danielricciardo: Annabelle in theaters near you. 🤣

0 comments 174,393 likes

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[ineedhaikyu]

Chapter Two

Summary: Inarizaki vs Karasuno. Foxes vs Crows. A match between two powerhouses competing for the next slot in Nationals and while tensions were high, Karasuno’s ace couldn’t help but look forward to the upcoming match. Or rather he was looking forward to seeing her.

Word Count: 8.9K

Warnings: A long fic with a huge amount of fluff! Once again Asahi's anxiety will be mentioned. Conversations are prolonged between reader and Asahi in order to establish a well-meaning relationship. Brief description of reader's hair.

A/N: PART 2 to Glass-Hearted Ace!! A lot of people wanted a continuation so here it is!! I had so much fun writing this because I absolutely love the adorable craziness that goes on in Haikyu as well as spreading more love to our gentle giant. Let's keep spreading our Asahi love!!

~

3rd POV

Day 2 of Nationals. The second round has already begun with the first match of the day. It wouldn't be long for the next match to start. Karasuno vs Inarizaki. The atmosphere was filled with the same energy of anticipation and eagerness just as it was the other day though multiplied by a hundred.

As this was her third and final year in participating in the Spring Tournament, (L/N) (Y/N) felt confident enough to say she was calm and collected. (Y/N) smiled to herself when she compared her younger first-year self to now. Back then, she was such a nervous wreck. Always getting lost on her way to the restroom or the time she followed the wrong team to the WRONG gym. (It wasn’t her fault that the team wore the same maroon jackets. Good thing that happened in her first year otherwise Suna and the Miya twins would never live it down.)

(Y/N) shook those thoughts away and continued her way to the gym where her team was preparing for their match. She was only gone for a few minutes as she had to fill up the water bottles, but knowing the second-years (Y/N) knew it was only a matter of time before something happened. Luckily, the Karasuno volleyball team hadn't arrived yet when she left but perhaps they have already.

The familiar warm feeling returned at the thought of seeing Karasuno’s team. More specifically the team’s ace. Azumane Asahi. The same guy that caught her eye when he played volleyball. The same guy she met yesterday who saved her from getting hurt. The same guy that made her believe in the lyrics of all those love songs.

(Y/N) wanted to say she was a good judge of character and she had a good feeling about Asahi.

A sweet guy, every bit of a gentleman. Very cute too. Every time his soft brown eyes met with hers, she swore it reminded her of a cute puppy. His smile didn’t bring a few butterflies in her stomach… No. They brought a swarm. Each flap of their metaphorical wings gave her the shivers but the grin on her lips never left when she was with him. Even his hair played a part of her enchantment on him. It’s not often to see guys with long hair, but Asahi pulled it off amazingly well especially when he has it in a man bun. Despite his tough guy appearance, Asahi was a gentle giant with a glass heart. In the little time she knew him, (Y/N) hoped she was able to help him realize his self-worth.

God. It hasn’t been 24 hours and not once has Asahi left her mind. They texted each other last night for almost two hours. The conversation between them flowed so easily. Just like before, (Y/N) enjoyed talking to him. Not once had he made her uncomfortable. Quite the opposite actually.

The next morning she woke up early enough to do research on Karasuno’s team. While Inarizaki’s motto was: we don’t need the memories, (Y/N) couldn’t help but see how Karasuno was like from their past matches. They’re different from any other teams they’ve competed against. Besides, it was nice matching names with faces. Luckily, someone made ‘I’m Awesome’ videos of Karasuno’s starting lineup. She’ll admit whoever made these videos was good as they depicted amazing receives to jaw-dropping spikes.

She recognized Daichi, Suga, and Asahi immediately. Their libero, Nishinoya Yū, looked high caliber and so was their setter. She’ll keep her opinions to herself on Kageyama; she didn’t need Atsumu hearing her say that. They’ll have to keep a lookout on Karasuno’s #10, Hinata Shoyo. He’s on the short side considering he’s a middle blocker but judging by the video, the first-year is full of surprises.

Then again, the Inarizaki volleyball team has a few tricks up their sleeves too.

“Ah. Look, it's her!”

“(Y/N)- senpai!”

“Over here!”

The said manager snapped back to reality and was confronted by the usual crowd of fans in front of her. Inarizaki always show their pride with each event but with volleyball, they took it to another level. Then it doubled with the arrival of the Miya twins. Their popularity soared to new heights and as a result the marching band, cheerleaders, and several students took part in Nationals. Both a blessing and a curse.

The curse part? Well, as much as she loved her school’s support, the fangirls… Well…

“(Y/N)-senpai! Can you give this to Atsumu?!”

“Oh, please give these chocolates to Osamu! I made them last night!”

“(Y/N), is there any way I can get a picture with Suna? Please!”

Yeah… This was pretty much the usual for her but this time it was going too far. Girls ranging from first-years to third-years were blocking the entrance to the gym. She recognized some as fellow classmates but others she was almost positive they came from other schools. And they were all trying to catch a glimpse of their favorite player.

Despite the hectic scene in front of her, there were two girls that caught her attention.

One of them looked the same age as her with beautiful black hair that reached her shoulders and fair skin complexion except for the beauty mark underneath her lower lip. Her gray eyes seemed to sparkle behind her thin framed glasses. The other girl looked visibly younger with her petite frame and blonde hair that was styled with a star hair clip. Right away (Y/N) knew that the girl was a first-year. She could see the way the girl was trembling at the sight of the crowd.

They didn’t look like they were a part of the crowd, but they did look troubled. That’s when she noticed they were carrying water bottle carriers just like her. They must be the Karasuno team’s managers. In the spirit of good sportsmanship, (Y/N) decided to go talk to them.

The older girl noticed her first. She stepped in front of the blonde girl as if shielding her. (Y/N) didn’t let that get to her. Instead, she smiled and introduced herself.

“Hi. I’m (L/N) (Y/N). I’m the manager for the Inarizaki team. Are you two the managers for Karasuno?”

The two girls glanced at one another before nodding in unison.

“My name is Shimizu Kiyoko. Third-year.”

“I-I’m Y-Yachi H-Hitoka! F-First-year m-manager! I-It’s very n-nice t-to m-meet y-you!”

“Hey, there. No need to be scared of me. I’m just a manager, just like you.” (Y/N) tried her best to console the first-year’s anxious nature. It was almost like deja-vu with Asahi. “Are you excited for today?”

Kiyoko nodded, finally feeling at ease with her. “The team has worked hard to get to this point.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night because I was so nervous!” Hitoka added while trying to fan herself in order to cool down her face. “But the team is excited to play against the team that placed second place in the last Interhigh!”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “You’ve done your research. I’m impressed. But don’t worry, we still have some tricks under our sleeves. We know we’re up against a great team.”

The Karasuno managers felt the same warm feeling coursing underneath their skin at the compliment.

“Does that mean you’ve done research on our team?” Kiyoko asked.

(Y/N) nodded. “Of course. I like to be prepared.” Her cheeks began to warm up when she thought of Karasuno’s ace. “You two have impressive players on the team. Are they in the gym?”

“Yes. They’re practicing right now. We went to get some water for the match when this happened.” Kiyoko gestured to the sea of girls in front of them.

“We tried to get through but they’re scary!” Hitoka was practically shaking in her shoes. “The first match is already playing their second set.”

“Man! I swear time flies around here. Come on, I’ll help you through.” (Y/N) gestured to the girls to follow her. “We can’t let our teams forget us.”

“Are you sure?” Kiyoko asked her. “We can find another way.”

(Y/N) shook her head and gave them a carefree grin. “This is the best way into the gym. Trust me, I’ll get us in there.”

“W-Why a-are you h-helping us?” Hitoka stuttered out. “A-Aren’t you scared of them?”

“Well us managers have to stick together, right? And trust me, after dealing with the Miya twins for a year, these girls don’t scare me.”

Taking her word for it, the pair of Karasuno managers followed her. As expected the crowd of girls showed no sign of parting, in fact, it has grown in number. Kiyoko and Hitoka were waiting for (Y/N) to politely ask the girls to move aside, like they did before, but the Inarizaki manager did something quite unexpected.

(Y/N) looked over her shoulder and smiled, “Cover your ears.”

The girls obeyed. Lucky for them. Unlucky for the fangirls.

Because (Y/N) let out the loudest whistle anyone had ever heard. A series of groans and shrieks were heard from the fangirls. Then they all had turned to face the managers.

“(Y/N)-senpai? What was that for?!” One of the fangirls that she recognized as an underclassman.

“Oh, come on guys. I warned everyone last time this would happen.” The manager told them, not an ounce of fear in her voice as she addressed the crowd.

“B-But we just want to see the twins practice!” A girl holding a hand fan with the words ‘Miya Twins’ on it. “We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“The boys need to warm up. You’ll see them on the court. Do yourselves a favor and find good seats to watch and cheer from.”

“Aww but (Y/N)!” They complained.

“You guys know the rules. Now, please, let me and my friends,” She stepped aside to reveal her new manager friends, “get into the gym. We need to do our jobs as managers. Don’t make me tell Kita-san and have him ban all of you from watching practice matches in the future.”

At the mention of the serious captain and under the threat of closed practices, the fangirls dispersed quickly. Some had the sense to apologize and others wished them good fortune on the upcoming match.

“W-Wow.” Hitoka said in awe. “You knew exactly what to do. That’s amazing.”

Kiyoko agreed before asking, “Does this happen a lot?”

(Y/N) let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah… They’re big fans of the team and they mean well but sometimes their excitement can take it too far. As Inarizaki’s manager, sometimes I feel responsible for their behavior.” She bowed her head and continued on. “I apologize on their behalf for any trouble they may have caused you two.”

The youngest manager out of the three was speechless at the older girl’s sincere words in her apology. They’ve only known the Inarizaki manager for like ten minutes but she proved herself to them that she’s a kindhearted yet self-assured person. One look at her senpai and Yachi knew that they were thinking the same thing.

What Yachi didn’t know, Shimizu was smiling for a different reason. Yesterday, she accidentally overheard her fellow third-years talking. She didn’t mean to listen in and she was about to leave when the topic of the conversation caught her attention. Apparently, a girl caught her friend Asahi’s eye. A girl from the Inarizaki team that, according to Suga, sounded like the perfect girl for her anxious friend. So when the girl’s name came up, (Y/N), Shimizu wanted to see for herself what the girl was like.

Now that she has, Shimizu can see how and why Asahi would fall for her.

“Don’t apologize,” Kiyoko finally spoke up and offered the girl a kind smile. “Sometimes, these things happen.”

“You sure? I mean, this might happen again when we have to go into the main gym. There are some fans of the Miya twins that can be a bit… Fierce. If you want, I can help out. It’s no trouble at all.”

Kiyoko shook her head. “It’s okay, (Y/N). We can handle it. Right, Hitoka-chan?”

The first-year nodded eagerly. “Yeah! We’ll be okay. The guys on our team can be scary too. Ah! I need to tell the team that the first match is already in the second set. It was very nice to meet you!”

The third-year managers watched in amusement as she scurried into the gym. (Y/N) smiled before facing Kiyoko. She offered her hand for a handshake and said, “I know it’s customary for players to shake hands before and after the match, but I do it too with the managers. Let’s have a good game.”

Kiyoko took her hand and squeezed. “May the best team win. No hard feelings, right?”

(Y/N) laughed and nodded. “I like you, Shimizu, but yeah, no hard feelings at all.”

“Please call me Kiyoko.”

~Meanwhile inside the gym, ten minutes earlier~

‘Where is she?’ Asahi thought as his eyes searched the other side of the court. ‘Is she hiding from me? Did he say something that scared her away? What if he creeped her out last night when they texted each other?’

“Yo Asahi!” Suga’s energetic voice scared him back to reality. “Are you looking for someone?”

He didn’t miss his friend’s teasing tone that laced his words nor the way his eyes shined in amusement. Leave it to Suga to tease the hell out of him. Last night, for example, was too much. Even after he told his friends about his time with the Inarizaki manager, Suga still wanted to know everything, down to the last detail. Luckily, Daichi took pity on him and reeled Suga back on a somewhat normal level of interrogation.

But that didn’t mean he was going to drop the subject completely.

“I can’t find (Y/N).” He admitted to his friend. “Have you seen her?”

“Hmm. Not yet. But I wouldn’t worry too much. Her team’s here so I’m sure she’s somewhere around here. She’s their manager after all.” Suga clapped his shoulder. “But if you really want to know where (Y/N) is, why don’t you go ask her teammates?”

Suga pointed to the nearby Inarizaki members that were practicing their spikes. He recognized the Miya twins and Inarizaki’s ace, Ojiro Aran. And while he saw how they played from previous matches last night, it didn’t ease the anxiety clawing its way around his heart. It also didn’t help when one of the wing spikers turned the set into a powerful spike. The impact of the ball being slammed to the floor echoed throughout the gym.

Just the very action scared Suga’s suggestion out the window. There was no way he was going over there and ask about their manager! If they were anything like Tanaka or Nishinoya, then he’ll be ripped to shreds.

“N-No way!” He stuttered out a reply and waved his hands in front of him. The slight blush on his face was becoming more visible by each second. “But I’m worried. What if something happened to her?”

“Her who?” Daichi asked as he came up from behind them. “What’s going on?”

Suga answered before he could. “Well, our dear old ace here, is worried that his crush is somewhere out there dying without him knowing. And he’s too scared to ask her friends where she is.”

Karasuno’s captain chuckled and patted Asahi on the back. “Quit worrying. I know you saved her yesterday, but this isn’t a little girl you’re talking about. She can hold her own. After all, this isn’t her first time here in Nationals.”

“See, Asahi?” Suga, clearly amused by this whole conversation, told him. “There’s nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walked through those gym doors right now.”

He pointed to the entrance and they followed it only to see a swarm of girls trying to catch a glimpse inside the gym.

“You mean those doors?” He asked his friend. “They look ready to burst in here.”

“Who are they?” Daichi asking the question everyone was wondering.

“Judging by the hand fans, I think they’re fans of the Miya twins. They must be really popular to have this many. That’s annoying.” Suga muttered the last part with a pout.

“Can anyone get through?” Asahi wondered as he avoided eye contact with the girls. Something about them unnerved him somehow even if they wore bright smiles and loud cheers. “They look vicious.”

“They’re fans, not witches.” Daichi stated. “I’m sure they’re nice. After all, they're showing their support to their team.”

“Let it go, Daichi. Asahi is only like this because he misses his dream girl.” Suga jested. “He’s going into withdrawal.”

“I was just hoping to see her. She texted me-”

“Woah! Woah! Texted?! When did this happen?” asked Suga, his eyes wide with this new information. “You’re at the texting-each-other stage?!”

“Was that who you were texting last night?” Daichi asked him.

“What?!” Suga exclaimed. “Daichi, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were asleep and I was tired.” The captain defended. “And it isn’t my business who Asahi texts. He’s old enough to make his own decisions… That being said, what did you guys talk about?”

“You didn’t tell her our secret weapons, did you?” Suga whispered his question, referring to all the tricks they perfected in the past few months.

“(Y/N) isn’t like that, Suga. She didn’t squeeze any information out of me. We picked up where we left off and talked about normal stuff. We thought it was better than to talk about the match between our schools.”

“And what did you guys text about?” The vice captain pressed, eager to know more.

For some reason, Asahi couldn’t help but recall how he initiated the conversation with the pretty manager from Inarizaki. Actually it was more like he couldn’t believe he was texting with (Y/N) last night. It felt unreal, like a dream. After reading her note, he remembered how hard his heart was beating and how warm his cheeks grew.

Ever since she mentioned it in her note, admitting how he made her nervous, Asahi took some comfort that he can do the same to her and vice versa.

Though, she did prove herself to be bravely spontaneous when she wrote the note and after texting with her last night, he hoped he could do the same. One of his many concerns since starting high school was that girls in his class were always disappointed after finding out his timid personality didn’t match his physical appearance. He’ll never forget the time when one of the girls called him a wuss. It was years ago but the girl’s remark was like a stab wound in the back. It healed over time but it still made its mark on his self-image.

Luckily, (Y/N) wasn’t like any of the girls in his class. She’s so kind when she bought him a shirt as a gift. She’s so understanding when she patiently listened to his problems. She showed compassion when she offered some advice to help ease the anxiety that almost suffocated him. Then there was that beautiful confidence she had in herself. He liked that about her and while he just met (Y/N) yesterday, he wanted to prove to her that he can be confident too.

That’s why he’s been looking for her. He wanted to be the first to greet her. It might not seem like a big deal to others, but it was to him.

‘Baby steps,’ He thought when he was second-guessing himself. ‘What was that saying? Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well, that applies here too. Bit by bit, confidence will grow.’

“Asahi? Earth to ace?”

“Huh?”

“You zoned out there for a second.” A smirk appeared on Suga’s face. “Must be quite a conversation you had with her. Wouldn’t you say Daichi?”

It was always nerve-wracking to have both Daichi and Suga tease him. So it wouldn’t be a surprise if the captain joined in on the teasing. But to his surprise, Daichi clapped him on the back causing him to huff a bit under his breath.

“Well, I think (Y/N) is the kind of girl that can make our dear ace invincible. Make sure to show what you’re made of during this match.”

“Yeah!” Suga encouraged, his hand clapping the ace’s free shoulder. “Let her see how awesome you are on the court.”

“No pressure or anything.” Daichi added, his smile matching Suga’s teasing grin.

“None at all!” Suga piped in. “Just remember she’ll be watching you when it’s your turn to serve. Don’t mess up!”

“You guys aren’t helping!” He yelled at his friends. His face burned in embarrassment.

Daichi and Suga laughed but before anyone could say another word that could cause further humiliation for the ace, Asahi’s saving grace came in the form of their first-year manager running into the gym. He thanked whatever deity who was watching over this episode that spared him from further teasing from his friends.

“The first match is in the middle of their second set.” Hitoka informed them.

Daichi nodded and clapped his hands together. In a loud voice, he announced, “Alright, guys. Let’s get into our uniforms.”

Following the captain's orders, Asahi grabbed his alternate orange jersey and placed it over a nearby chair. He looked across the gym and saw the Inarizaki players putting on their uniforms as well. Still no sign of (Y/N).

“Hitoka-chan, wasn’t Shimizu with you?” Suga asked.

The first-year nodded. “We made a new friend just now. She helped us out when we couldn’t get into the gym. I think she’s still talking to her by the doors.”

Asahi tuned out their conversation as he took off his shirt. In his head, he had to concentrate on calming down his nerves. The scariest moments of his life played like an endless nightmare. Like the time when he was a kid and he had to show his parents the bad grade on his report card. Or the time he wanted to pet the neighbor’s puppy but ended up getting chased by the puppy’s mother. Or how Date Tech’s iron wall blocked every single spike; shaking him to the core so much that he temporarily stopped playing volleyball.

The whirlpool of anxiety and dread arrived on schedule in his stomach. Was it getting harder to breathe? Was the air getting warmer? Or was he getting colder? Yeah, no. He was definitely getting colder. His hands felt like a block of ice. Was he this nervous during the Shiratorizawa match? Probably. He made a mental note to trace 人 on his hand, hoping it was enough to settle down his nerves.

He threw his jersey on and was just about to fix his loose hair strands when he heard a familiar laugh coming from the entrance. He looked up to see Kiyoko laughing along with another girl. It was only a glance, a quick one, when he did a double take. He couldn’t believe it.

(L/N) (Y/N), the girl that caused his brain cells to go on a roller coaster ride, was standing there in all her beauty.

She was having a conversation with Kiyoko and by the looks of it, she must have said something funny because it made his usual shy and quiet manager laugh a little. Now he was 100% convinced that (Y/N) had a natural aura that eased people on friendly terms if she was able to hold an amiable conversation with Kiyoko.

Not to mention her smile that complimented her eyes that seemed to shine in excitement. Or how her hair was styled a bit different from yesterday. This time her hair was pinned back from her face with two small side braids connected together where it fell in rhythm with the rest of her hair. It looked cute on her, lovely even. Should he mention that to her or would that be too weird?

SLAP!

“Ow!” Asahi turned around to find the culprit who slapped the (for lack of a better word) living shit onto his back. Nishinoya didn’t have an ounce of shame or regret in his eyes. Quite the opposite actually as the libero was smiling ear to ear. “Nishinoya? What was that for?”

With no remorse, the second-year player ignored the question and asked several of his own. “That’s her, right? The Inarizaki manager? The one who’s talking to Kiyoko-san? The girl you like?”

He could feel his ears begin to burn. “H-How did you know?”

“That’s not important.”

Asahi begged to differ as he thought it made a world of difference now that Nishinoya knows about his crush.

With his arms crossed in front of his chest, the libero continued, “What are you doing standing here? Go over there and talk to her! Be a man!”

“I-It’s not that simple. I need to build myself up before I talk to her. And then I need to think of a topic that we can talk about. Then what type of questions I should ask-”

“Oh come on Asahi! You have to stop acting like a cowardly wimp. Man up and go! She’s right there!”

“J-Just give me a second and I will.”

Nishinoya was just about to retort back when he realized something. This was the first time Asahi was nervous, visibly and mentally, for a girl. Well, scratch that. Asahi was always nervous around girls but this was the first time he seemed to actively try to impress someone. Like the way he repeatedly made sure his jersey was tucked in, double-knotted his shoelaces, and double-checked his hair was safely tied in his usual bun.

So he did what any good friend would do. “You look great, Asahi.”

With a glimmer of hope in his eyes, the ace stood up straight. “You think so?”

“Personally, I don’t care about what other people think about my looks.”

Asahi physically deflated at those words. If only he could borrow some of his friend’s confidence.

“But then again I’m awesome.”

The ace couldn’t argue with that one. But before he could wallow in a pool of anxiety and dread, the libero’s next words saved him from drowning. Along with a strong slap on the shoulder that could echo throughout the gym.

“You’re awesome too. You’re the ace of our team. Take pride in that.”

Asahi took his friend’s words to heart as he stood up a bit straighter. He glanced up to look at (Y/N) who looked breathtaking while wearing her maroon Inarizaki jacket. If only she wore a black Karasuno jacket… He could just imagine the alternate dimension where she could have been a classmate, a close friend, or even something more.

“I… I don’t want to mess this up, Noya.”

Concerned, Nishinoya asked, “How would you mess up?”

“I don’t know! Anything could happen. With my luck, I could trip over myself in front of her. I want to be confident and go over to her and say hi-””

“Alright. Then let’s go.”

Asahi’s mind froze. “What?”

“You heard me. Let’s do what you said and walk up to your girlfriend-”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

Nishinoya rolled his eyes but the grin on his face showed no sign of leaving. “Fine. The girl you wish to be your girlfriend. We’ll go together. You’ll say hi and introduce me to her because I want to know what kind of girl makes you act this way.”

Asahi could feel his face turning red. “Okay, let’s go. But please don’t say anything embarrassing. Daichi and Suga did enough of that yesterday.”

His friend laughed loudly before slapping his shoulder. “You really need to grow a backbone off the court, especially if you want to impress your crush. But don’t worry, I have your back.”

~

(Y/N) felt as if she met her long-lost sister through Karasuno’s manager. Kiyoko definitely could relate to the ups and downs that comes with managing a group of boys (especially rowdy second-years). But she admired her commitment. Being a third-year, specifically attending Nationals, it was their last chance to help their respective team to make it to the top.

“So, how are you feeling about being here?” She asked as they sat down on a nearby bench. They still had time before the ongoing match ended. Why not take the opportunity and spend time with her new friend?

“It’s unreal. Sometimes it feels like a dream. A lot of people doubted us since we were a forgotten powerhouse. We were devastated when we lost in the third round of the Interhigh to Aoba Johsai. Our only chance to get to Nationals was to win all our matches.”

“Woah, I can only imagine the pressure your team had on their shoulders. More so on the third-years.” She took a chance to look for Asahi. Her eyes automatically found him and she couldn’t help but smile. It looked like he was having a conversation with the libero. “How did you guys manage all that?”

Kiyoko shrugged her shoulders but she had a faint smile before answering, “It was rough. But we didn’t want to give up on volleyball. Not when there was a chance to make it here. It was a risk. Our advisor warned us third-years to take our future into account before we made our decision.”

“And now you guys are here! I have to give you and your team respect, Kiyoko.”

Kiyoko laughed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks. It’s been a journey and we’re ready to play against the best.”

“Trust me the feeling is mutual.”

“Speaking of feelings,” Kiyoko began with a teasing tone. “I’ve heard there’s a guy on my team that caught your eye.”

(Y/N) let out a nervous laugh as she looked away. “He told you?”

“Not directly but Daichi and Suga weren’t exactly keeping it down about it. Asahi is usually quiet. But he sounded happy when he talked about you. I think you helped him in more ways than one because I’ve never heard him sound so confident.”

“Really?” She couldn’t help but smile widely. “You're not just saying that, are you?”

Kiyoko shook her head. “I don’t know what you told him but it looks like he took it to heart.”

“I just spoke the truth. He helped me so it’s only fair that I helped him too. He’s a gentle giant that needs a boost in confidence.”

“Do you like him?”

“Well… It’s too soon to tell but I think so. Asahi is not like any other guy I’ve met. I just want a chance to get to know him more and vice versa.”

“So like a date before the actual date?”

“Exactly!” It was like Kiyoko and her were on the same wavelength. “Is that too weird? Or is it stupid? I mean, I just met him yesterday and so far he seems like a great guy but like… I’m nervous. He makes me nervous and… Shoot. I’m sorry for rambling.”

“Hey, it’s reasonable to think and feel that way. Take it from me, Asahi really is a good guy. He can be a scaredy-cat sometimes and can be insecure about a lot of stuff but he really means well.”

“I saw that side of him yesterday. He’s the type to shoulder all the blame, isn’t he?” (Y/N) asked.

Kiyoko nodded. “He’s still our ace and he’s been working harder than ever to prove it.”

(Y/N) remained silent, taking in all the information Kiyoko told her. She looked for Asahi again and smiled when she saw him getting clapped on the shoulder by the libero.

“Does that bother you?” Kiyoko asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

Confused, (Y/N) furrowed her brow before asking, “What do you mean?”

“Does it bother you that Asahi is the ace but he doesn’t have an ace-like presence?”

While Kiyoko hated asking the question she believed it was an important one. Girls can be ruthless. She heard the gossip from other girls and how they talk about Asahi behind his back. Calling him a wimp or how he was a part of a gang. As Asahi’s friend, she felt it was her responsibility to see if the girl he has a crush for is actually genuine in her feelings towards him. Because as much as she enjoyed (Y/N)’s company, Kiyoko will choose to defend Asahi over her.

“Should that be important? If anything, it goes to show how different Asahi is. When I saw him play yesterday, I knew he was an amazing ace but when I talked to him and got to know him… I saw a guy who’s not ashamed to admit his insecurities and who’s not scared to admit his feelings. I respect that. And after what you told me of what you guys have gone through, I know Asahi will show his self-worth on the court and show everyone why he’s the ace. So who cares that he doesn’t have the traditional personality of an ace? I think he’s already brave.”

Kiyoko smiled at her. That was the answer she’s been hoping for and (Y/N) delivered it. Her (E/C) eyes matched the conviction in her voice and Kiyoko loved it. Not to mention, the timing was absolutely perfect and she thanked the gods that (Y/N) didn’t notice the two people behind her.

“(Y-Y/N)-san?”

Oh god. She could feel her heart falling to her stomach when she heard her name in that deep voice that made her feel everything all at once. Her face became warm in seconds and she didn’t dare move an inch. It wasn’t until Kiyoko let out a small cough that brought her from cloud nine back to the gym.

(Y/N) took a moment to center herself before turning around to see Asahi. His chocolate brown eyes met hers and she swore the butterflies from her stomach danced between her ribs.

“A-Asahi-san! Hey!”

She quickly stood up, a bit too fast as she accidentally knocked her team’s water bottles out of the carrier. Embarrassed, (Y/N) fell to her knees and grabbed the nearest bottle.

“S-Sorry about this.” (Y/N) didn’t dare look up as she already embarrassed herself in front of her crush and his friends.

“N-No! Don’t apologize. It was an accident.” Asahi kneeled, grabbing the last bottle before handing it to her. His breath hitched ever so softly when her fingertips touched his hand. It was as if the rest of the gym faded away. Being so close to (Y/N), he saw how her eyes were beautiful as he remembered. He swore it was no trick of the light that her eyes seemed to shine like stars in the night sky.

(Y/N) felt so self-conscious about how close she was to Asahi. She hoped she looked okay in his eyes. Usually she wouldn’t care so much on how she looked, but the idea was thrown out the window when she met Karasuno’s ace. His long hair was once again in a bun but this time it was neatly in place, a perfect bun any woman or man could be jealous of. The small scruff of facial hair on his chin suited him very well, giving him a sort of wild, intimidating appearance.

But she knew better because Asahi was an adorable giant with a large and gentle heart. If she was being honest, his presence was like springtime coming to wash away winter’s snow. His warmth was… Indescribable.

How was it possible for him to be that handsome yet so adorable at the same time?

The moment was interrupted when someone cleared their throat. Loudly. (Y/n) looked up to see the libero, Nishinoya, with a large grin. His eyes were bright with excitement and amusement. She can immediately tell that this guy was the mischievous and energetic type. As they stood up, she could have sworn she saw Asahi blush.

“(Y/N), this is my friend Nishinoya Yū. He’s a second-year and the libero of our team.”

While he maintained a normal composure, Asahi was mentally beating himself up. ‘Why would you say that?! She’s a volleyball manager!! Of course, she knows that Nishinoya is a libero! She has eyes. She can see that he’s wearing a different color jersey! Asahi, you’re such an IDIOT!’

While the ace was mentally berating himself, (Y/N) formally introduced herself to his friend. During her introduction, Nishinoya could only gawk. When he heard from Suga and Daichi about his friend Asahi finally having a lucky break encounter with a girl, he couldn’t be happier for the ace. And it didn’t take a genius to see how hard Asahi fell for her.

“By the way, I’ve watched those ‘I’m Awesome’ videos.” (Y/N) brought up and immediately caught the attention from both boys. “That match with Shiratorizawa when you made a double save against Ushijima was so cool. It was so amazing that I had to replay it like five times. I even showed it to our own libero and he literally took my phone out of my hands.”

Nishinoya beamed. “Really?”

His chest swelled up with pride and the thought of another libero studying his techniques was just the icing on the cake, but to have a pretty girl, like (Y/N), praise his skills… Well that’s the cherry on top. He liked her already.

“And Asahi, you were amazing too. The way you were able to smash through Shiratorizawa’s defenses was unreal!”

The warm and fuzzy feeling from his chest exploded and it was as if all the heat rushed to his face. Asahi was sure his whole face was red. He tried to stammer out a reply but Nishinoya beat him to it.

“I know right!” He slapped Asahi’s shoulder repeatedly. “He went head to head against one of the best aces in the country and helped lead our team to victory. We wouldn’t be here without him.”

“T-That’s not t-true-”

“Of course it is!” Nishinoya looked back at the girl who was chuckling at their interaction. “Ignore that. He’s so humble whenever someone compliments him.”

Her eyes met Asahi’s and gave him a knowing smile. Although this was her second encounter with Karasuno’s ace, (Y/N) noticed the trend of Asahi’s friends building him up and teasing him at the same time. She had to stop herself from laughing at the lack of subtlety amongst them. Still, it was cute to see Asahi this way.

“Well,” (Y/N) began, her hand casually tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Asahi was listening intently. “Then I bet this next compliment is going to be unbearable because I thought you looked great during that match. It makes me wish I was there to see you guys play live.”

Nishinoya grinned. “Don’t worry, (Y/N)-san. You won’t be disappointed with our match. Asahi, here, will make sure of that. Right, Asahi? Oh, did I mention how-”

Kiyoko, who was silently watching the entire interaction, noticed the slight panic in Asahi’s eyes. She knew the libero means well but there were times he can take things a bit too far.

“Nishinoya, can you help carry this for me?”

“Anything for you, Kiyoko-san! I’ll follow you forever!”

Asahi was about to stutter out his friend’s name when he saw Kiyoko give a little head gesture towards (Y/N), subtle enough so she wouldn’t see it.

‘This is your chance, Asahi.’ That was the message she was telling him as Kiyoko led Nishinoya away. ‘Don’t mess up.’

“So, um, (Y/N)? H-How are you? You know, with everything?” Asahi could feel the goosebumps traveling up and down his arms at how cringy he felt.

The dark cloud of self-doubt and worry that plagued Asahi this morning has evaporated into thin air the moment she smiled at him. How was she able to put him at ease like that?

“So far, so good. I'm a bit nervous for today. Not the bad kind of nervous but the excited kind, you know?”

Asahi nodded as he knew exactly the feeling (Y/N) was talking about. He was feeling it right now! “I know that feeling very well. I feel it almost everyday.”

(Y/N) chuckled before replying, “At least, you’re honest, Asahi. Most guys usually lie about their feelings.” She glanced back at her own team where she saw Atsumu arguing with his twin, probably over something stupid.

“Well someone did tell me that it wasn’t a bad thing to express my feelings. I’m just following her good advice.”

The smile she gave him was like no other to know that Asahi was really taking her words to heart. Words can’t describe how happy this made her nor the warm feeling she felt stir in her chest.

“So, are you ready to play against us?” (Y/N) asked the ace in an effort to keep the conversation going. “Because we’ve been looking forward to this match.”

“It’s a bit nerve-racking that we’re playing against the team that placed second in the Inter-High. You have great players on your team.”

(Y/N) waved her hand in dismal with a shake of her head. “Oh don’t let that rattle you, that was yesterday.” Her school’s motto rings true in her words. “Besides, I’ve done my research. Karasuno isn’t like it was before. Your team has cool players too and that includes you. All you can do today is challenge yourself.”

Asahi couldn’t help but smile at her. “You’re just full of good advice, aren’t you?”

She beamed while tossing her hair over her shoulder in a joking manner. “I’d like to think so. But seriously, Asahi,” Her hand gently touched his bicep and Asahi didn’t shrink away. “How are you really feeling?”

“H-Honestly?”

(Y/N) nodded, her eyes looking up to him, patiently waiting for his response.

“I haven’t told anyone so d-don’t make fun of me but… I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“I’m scared of failing. I’m scared to drag the team down. I’m scared to lose the trust my team has in me as the ace. I mean, I’ve watched the Inarizaki clip last night and I can’t help to compare-”

Asahi stopped talking when he felt a pair of warm hands wrap around his cold ones. The blush from before came back in full force. (Y/N)’s hands were small and so soft compared to his yet it was enough to calm his fast beating heart. With her holding his hands, it reminded Asahi of the time when Kiyoko held Suga’s hands during the fifth set of the Shiratorizawa match. He remembered how he, Daichi, Nishinoya, and Tanaka became jealous towards the vice captain. Now he was in Suga’s position and with (Y/N) holding his hands, Asahi understood the feelings Suga went through that day.

“Listen to me, Asahi, what you’re feeling right now… That’s normal, okay? You’re not the first ace to feel this way and even if you are the first that just goes to show how considerate you are to your teammates. I can tell you worked hard and you have skilled, trustworthy teammates. That’s why you’re here in Nationals, remember? You earned your spot on the team as the ace and I understand you carry a burden on your shoulders, but you’re not alone. You have your team with you.”

Asahi opened his mouth but no words came out. It was as if (Y/N) took his ability to talk. He felt enlightened in a way. He was pushed so much in the darkness by his own self-doubt, anxiety, and worry that he almost missed the ray of light that gave him hope.

“You with me, Asahi? I didn’t lose you, did I?” (Y/N) questioned, giving his hands a small squeeze. “Or did I say something wrong?”

“Oh! Sorry! No! I mean- Yes! I mean-”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Breathe, Asahi. There’s no need to be nervous. It’s just me. No one special.”

He shook his head. “That’s not true. At least, not to me.”

She blinked. Then blinked twice. Three times. When she realized that she hadn’t misheard him, she swore those butterflies in her stomach made their way to her chest and danced around her heart. The feeling never went away when he met her eyes. His brown eyes took her breath away while melting her heart at the same time.

Still, she wasn’t expecting Asahi to say that and judging by the obvious blush on his cheeks Asahi wasn’t either. Well, two can play at that game.

“Oh? I’m someone special to you? When we only met yesterday? If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re falling for me.”

Asahi felt his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was used to teasing by his friends and the second-years but never before has he felt like this. Wait a minute… Was this teasing or flirting? He hoped for the latter because he didn’t want it to stop.

“What if I am?” He asked, his confidence growing with every word. “Would it be a bad thing?”

(Y/N) smiled widely. “I… I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Asahi felt his heart soar to new heights at this. Any anxiety he had began to slowly fade away. His hands were no longer cold but he wasn’t going to stray away from (Y/N)’s touch.

However, the universe thought differently.

“Hey. Do you mind not holding hands with my manager?”

(Y/N) grunted when she felt a strong arm swing over her shoulders. Even without looking, she could tell who it was. The same person who had no problem starting a confrontation with anyone. Not even his twin brother.

“Atsumu.” She warned, letting go of Asahi’s hands, hoping this action would relieve the tension her setter placed around them.

The blond-haired twin kept the same annoying smirk as he met his manager’s eyes. He knew that look very well as he was always on the receiving end of it.

“What?” He asked innocently. “I’m just looking out for you, (Y/N)-senpai. You’re our precious manager after all. Now, is this guy messing with you?”

(Y/N) sighed, closing her eyes while counting to ten in order to calm down. She could only imagine how this must look.

“He’s not. This is Asahi and he’s my friend. We were just talking before the match began. Asahi, this is Miya Atsumu. He’s the setter-”

“Star setter.” Atsumu interrupted as he shook Asahi’s hand, gripping it hard. “An All-Japan Training Camp setter.”

Confused but feeling bold, Asahi matched the twin’s grip strength. He took a tiny bit of satisfaction when Atsumu grimaced the tiniest bit.

(Y/N) raised her brow at them but shook it off. “Sorry about him. He can be a bit much. Anyways, Atsumu, Asahi is Karasuno’s ace. We watched their match yesterday, remember?”

Atsumu gave him an unimpressed look before shaking his head. “Not really. He must have not made a good impression for me to remember. I don’t remember players who suck-”

He was cut off by (Y/N)’s sharp elbow to his stomach. “What was that for, (Y/N)-san?!”

“That’s for lying!”

“I wasn’t lying!”

“Just yesterday you told me he made a lot of great plays. Not to mention, you praised his service ace.”

Atsumu could feel himself blush a little when his manager caught him in his lie. “I… I don’t remember.” When lying doesn’t work, denying is the second best option.

She rolled her eyes while pushing the setter’s head down, forcing him to bow with her. “Sorry about him. He can be incredibly insensitive at times.”

Atsumu twisted his head to look at his manager, quietly struggling underneath her surprisingly strong grip. “No, I’m not!”

(Y/N) sighed before letting go and ignored the glare Atsumu gave her. Instead, she focused on Karasuno’s ace. “I wish we can talk more, Asahi but I need to get the team ready before the match. But I’m glad we had the chance to catch up.”

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled at her, much to Atsumu’s displeasure. “Can we talk later?”

The manager grinned and was just about to answer when she felt a strong tug on her arm before getting dragged away. “Hey, Atsumu! What the he-”

“You said it yourself.” Atsumu pointed out. “You need to help get the team, our team, ready. Let’s go.”

(Y/N) yanked her hand back and gave Atsumu a glare before he could utter a complaint. “Atsumu, be a dear and take this,” She placed the water bottle carrier in his hands. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“But- I, er, we need you. Remember, there’s that thing… That important thing…” His eyes gestured to his hands.

To anyone who didn’t know the Inarizaki setter very well, it may have sounded like there was something urgent she, as the manager, had to do. But (Y/N) knew Atsumu and she almost wanted to laugh at the desperation in his voice. This happened every single time before a match. It was obvious that Atsumu didn’t want to admit his problem in front of Asahi, who had a confused look on his face.

“The stuff is in my bag, inside the small pocket. Just don’t use too much like last time.”

“Yes!” Atsumu fist-pumped before running back to the rest of the Inarizaki team, forgetting the reason he came over in the first place.

(Y/N) chuckled as she watched her friend dig into her bag before turning back to Asahi. “Again, sorry about that. He can be a bit much. But he does have a point, the match is going to start soon.” She offered up her hand for a shake. “Best of luck to you, Asahi.”

He wasted no time in shaking her hand. “You too. Good luck to your team.”

“And whatever happens, win or lose, we’ll be cool, right?” (Y/N) asked, hoping Asahi wasn’t one of those players that completely shuts down and shuns people when they lose. She really liked him so she hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Of course we will.” Asahi promised. “No matter what happens, we’ll give it our best.”

“Good. See you later, ace.”

With one final encouraging squeeze, (Y/N)’s hand slipped away before making her way towards her team. Asahi seemed frozen to the laminate gym floor as his eyes were fixed on her maroon Inarizaki team. His hand was still in the air where he could still feel her fingertips.

“ASAHI!”

He flinched when he heard Nishinoya yell out his name and he almost fell over when he felt the libero hoist himself to do a handstand on his shoulders. It always amazes him how Nishinoya was able to do that effortlessly.

“H-Hey careful!” Asahi warned him. “And what happened to having my back?”

“You were amazing Asahi-san!” Nishinoya praised, stars in his eyes. “And I did have your back. We all had your back. We were watching the whole thing! You looked so cool talking to the girl you like!”

Was it just him or did that last sentence sound so loud?

“Don’t make it so obvious, Nishinoya.” Suga chuckled.

“Yeah, we don’t need Miya Atsumu to come back over here and scare Asahi again.” Daichi joked. “We had to pull Nishinoya back so he wouldn’t go feral on him.”

“I-I wasn’t scared! He just surprised me.” Asahi defended though he wasn’t going to admit that there was a tiny moment of fear when the Inarizaki setter confronted him. “He’s intense though.”

Kiyoko stepped forward. “You didn’t run away. I think that speaks louder than words.”

Asahi swallowed hard. “You think so?”

“Trust Kiyoko on this, Asahi.” Daichi said. “And trust all of us when we say, don’t give up. I know I give you a hard time with you being a coward and all-”

“Thanks.” He said sarcastically.

“Let me finish.” Daichi laughed. “I was trying to say… (Y/N) brings out the best in you. So keep going. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Alright, let’s go win!”

“YEAH!!”

~Meanwhile on the other side of the gym~

“You done flirting with the enemy?”

“Does that bother you, Suna?” (Y/N) countered as she checked her bag, looking to see if Atsumu used all her hand lotion. (He’s always complaining about his fingertips being dry.) “I thought that’s what you guys wanted? For me to find someone?”

“At least give us a warning. Atsumu said it was that scary samurai-looking guy.”

“Atsumu’s dramatic.”

“Am not!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“He literally was squeezing my hand off! Trying to ruin my perfect setter hands!” The blond complained. “I call sabotage!”

“Maybe you’re just that weak, ‘Tsumu.”

“Shut up, ‘Samu!”

“So,” Suna interrupted before the twins could start another infinite argument. “You like this Azumane guy?”

“Is he Lucky Schmuck #1?” Osamu followed up.

“Or Unlucky Schmuck #6?” Atsumu mumbled with his arms crossed.

“I think… He’s the one.”

~

Next: Chapter 3

[charlesf1leclerc]

KEEPING UP WITH THE LECLERCS

Warnings- poorly translated French, childbirth, not very well edited, cuteness, babies idk ahha I think that’s it

Summary-The little moments of welcoming Charles and y/n’s first child into the world

Finding out your pregnant 

You and Charles and been together for years. Dating two years before he proposed to you and you became Y/n leclerc. Charles always wanted to be a dad he loved growing up with his brothers and always dreamed of having a few little kids so they could replicate the relationship he and his brothers had. You and him had decide to spend the first year of your marriage together being in the ‘ honeymoon stage’ although you had gotten off any sort of birth control months ago because whatever will be will be that’s your motto.

Now at the age of 24 and 25 here you were about to be parents, well 9 months away from being parents. You leaned on the bathroom counter as Charles stood in front of you holding the stick that read two lines ‘Pregnant’. You and Charles were going to be parents. You were going to have a little cute tiny baby. Charles was going to be a dad and you knew he would be the best dad, everyone saw the way he acted with kids in the paddock it always made yo ur heart hurt and your ovaries explode but you knew one day it would happen for you and that day was today.

“ We’re gonna be parents Cherie! You’re gonna be a mummy” He had a glimmer in his eye or maybe it was a tear but either way he was over the moon. 

“ and your gonna be a daddy, the best daddy” 

He moved forward to put the test down on the counter and put his hands on your stomach

“ I can feel it, it’s in there, baby”

“ Charles that’s just my stomach rumbling, there is something in there but the baby is to small for that to be what your feeling” I laugh 

“ shh let me have my moment, I’m gonna be a daddy, our little boy”

“ so it’s a boy” I raised an eyebrow

“ well I have brothers so it’s understandable for it to be a boy the baby is my child”

“ ok whatever you say leclerc, now can we please eat dinner now or anything I’m starving”

“ 5 more minutes” he said still holding his hands on my stomach

Yeah he’s going to be the best dad

Telling friends and family

Charles could not wait to tell his friends and family about the baby, but of course you made him wait because you wanted to wait until you were at least 12 weeks to tell anyone like it was recommended. So as soon as you were 12 weeks charles was already organising how he was going to tell everyone.

First he told his mum and brothers. He had taken you all out for dinner all families.  You both sat at the table next to each other and when he squeezed your hand you knew what he was going to do. He coughed to get the attention back into him.

“ uh…. I have an announcement, me and Y/n have an announcement I mean” he spoke

“ omg a divorce, uh it was only o a matter of time, y/n just know that I am hear for you your going to be ok without him” Arthur spoke coming to rest a hand on my shoulder

“ what no no we are not getting a divorce sit back down” Charles looked irritated at the younger brother

“ don’t get to defensive y/n will come to her sense’s one day” Arthur spoke

“ shh thur, yes Charles we are listening” Pascale broke the brewing argument apart

“ well me and y/n are going to have a baby” Charles revealed

“ oh my Charles that’s amazing I couldn’t be more proud” Pascale jumped up to hug her son and daughter in law giving them multiple kisses

“ aww damn y/n now your really tied down to him no escaping now” Arthur still got up to hug you though but received a slap on the back of the head from Charles 

“ fermez-la” ( shut up ) Charles growled 

“ I’m so happy for you guys, uncle Enzo sounds pretty good to me” Lorenzo stood up hugging you and patting Charles on the back.

Having their good blessings meant the world to you and Charles it made very thing 100 times better.

As well as his family he also had his other family his off grid friends Joris, Riccardo  and Marta .you were currently all at Marta and Riccardos house in Monaco all sat springs the living room. And just like with the family Charles speaks up.

“alors nous avons une petite nouvelle à vous annoncer” (so we have abit of news to tell you).

“ pourquoi avez-vous toujours des nouvelles” ( why do you guys always have news )  Joris responds humorously 

“ Eh bien, je pense que tu vas aimer cette nouvelle”( Well I think your going to like this news ) Charles smiled 

You handed Charles the ultrasound picture and he took it from you before laying it out on the coffee table

“ Qu'est-ce que c'est ça “ ( what’s this ) Marta spoke as she leaned toward to pic up the image holding it in her hands

“est-ce que je pense que c'est? es-tu enceinte” ( is this what I think it is are you pregnant ) she questioned 

“ oui” ( yes ) I replied

“ eeeeee “ Marta jumped up to run and hug me and jump around

“ Bravo mec” ( congrats mate ) Riccardo and Joris got up to congratulate their friend

“Attends tu dois voir ces petits vêtements de bébé y/n chaira a grandi si vite j'ai des sacs et des sacs de vêtements à te donner” ( Wait you have to see these little baby clothes y/n chaira grew so fast so I have bags and bags of clothes to give you ) Marta was definite more excited then anyone else so far.

“ il y aura des meilleurs amis comme nous “ ( there going to be best friends just like us ) I smiled back at her

“ aww c'est le meilleur bews jamais “ ( aww this is the best news ever ) she squealed as I followed her up stairs

“ Préparez-vous mon ami pour les hormones, puis les pleurs sans fin et les changements de couches de ce bébé “ ( Prepare yourself my friend for hormones and then endless crying and diaper changes from that baby ) Riccardo patted Charles on the back 

“ Tout en vaudra la peine même si cela ne me dérange pas” ( It will all be worth it though I don’t mind ) Charles smiled to himself

But the hardest challenge was telling the other drivers so you left that up to Charles. This time it was very much informal. He simply told them when he saw them on that track not really wanting to make to big of a fuss in public places as you still had yet to announce your pregnancy. 

First was Max. 

To say he was excited was an understatement. He was over the moon for you and Charles already taking about how the baby and Penelope could be the best of friends and how he and Kelly would be able to babysit whenever they need. Being a kinda stepdad to Penelope meant max already has experience with kids so he was already giving tips and offering advice 

“ I’m sure Kelly has heaps of bags of P’s old clothes we could give you and y/n” max offered

“ That’s very nice I’m sure y/n would love to look through that with Kelly one day, but we may not need it as I’m sure it’s a boy, just a feeling” Charles replied

“ every man thinks he wants a son until he gets a daughter and then he realised he can never live anything more trust me” max leant out his hand to rest on Charles shoulder again giving him his congratulations.

Carlos and lando were well carlos and lando about the whole situation.

“ hey my man does have some skills in him, I’m proud of you my friend” carlos said about the whole announcement.

“ that baby is going to be so attractive like look at you and look at y/n”…. “ hey watch it norris trays my wife and baby your talking about” 

“ what I was only telling the truth” he replied like a child who had been scolded 

“ so do you know the gender? A little Leclerc or a little y/l/n?” Carlos inquired 

“ no we don’t yet and either way it’s going to be a little leclerc you dumbass” Charles laughed

“ yeah yeah you know what I meant” Carlos rolled his eyes. 

Telling pierre was probably the highlight to Charles his best friend for many years. He was so excited to break the news and see his reaction. 

“ Sweet man your gonna be a dilf” wa Shia first answer to the reaction

“ uh what’s that? “ Charles asked 

“ or maybe you’ll just be a weird old man who can’t keep up with the trends” Pierre patted his back sympathetically

“ wow thanks for the support my friend”

“ no really I’m happy for you guys, and for myself of course I’m going to be the cool uncle and now I get to hang with a baby but also be able to give it back and not have to worry about it myself” 

“ remind me to never let you be alone with my child” Charles looked judge meant all at pierre 

“ what are you saying I’m not the god father?” Pierre put his hand to his chest in fake offence

“ calm down I’m not saying anything yet drama queen”

“ yes that’s right I’m the queen of godfathers” Pierre shouted and Charles face palmed himself in the face. This was the guy who was his best friend…

Gender reveal 

Today was the day. The day that Charles was so much more excited for than anyone else in the whole wide world. Your gender reveal. You had decide to do an intimate reveal just the two of you. You were going to do the trend with the wine glasses and the cake where you put the glasses in the cake and pulled it out to reveal the coloured dye within the cake.

Currently you and Charles were sitting in your back garden in a picnic rug ready to reveal the gender of your little bean.

“Still think it’s a boy” I inquired

“ yes but I really don’t mind either way Cherie as long as I have you and this baby I’m happy” Charles leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips

“ now can we please get on with this I need to knowwwwww” you laughed at his excitement as he was practically going to burst with anticipation 

“ yes yes ok let’s look away and put our glasses in” you both turned away from the cake

“ you ready?” You asked

“ yes hurry up” 

You both put your glass into the cake 

“ 3,2,1” 

Pink the icing was pink you were going to have a little baby girl

“ a girl” Charles remarked

“ a girl” you replied with a big grin on your face

You both leaned in to hug one another charles planting a kiss on your forehead

“ your not upset it’s not a boy” you inquired still engulfed In his arms

“ a friend once told me a man always once a boy until he has a daughter and realised he can never love anything more, so no Cherie I’m not upset one bit”

Baby preparation 

The next few months we’re hectic with Charles attending races and you staying home to work on the nursery and get things done and ready for the baby, all with the help from yours and Charles family’s and Charles himself of course as he spent every minute he was home doing something baby related. 

The room was coming along nicely. It was very girly and it was just they way Charles wanted it. From the flower wallpaper and little pink blankets to the thousands of colourful outfits in the far to big closet for a baby. Charles instigated on buying anything he saw for the baby from toys to clothes and anything to make her room even more beautiful than it was. “ it needs to all be fit for a princess” he would say . And of course you let him do it thing because really how can you say no to him

“ we need a name” you spoke up one night when you and Charles were sitting on the couch after dinner. Your legs were drawn over his lap and he was rubbing circles on your thighs

“ I suppose we do, right now?” He replied

“ well not right now but we do need some ideas”

“ I think I want her middle name to be Jules if that’s ok with you” he looked over at you

“ of course that’s such a pretty name and a nice meaning for you and her too”

“ I’ve always kinda known I wanted to incorporate that into my child’s name if your sure your ok with that” he looked into your eyes

“ of course i am it’s beautiful” you replied moving to snuggle further into him as he smiled and kissed top of your head.

The arrival 

It was a warm night in Monaco. June 16th to be exact. You and Charles were well asleep until you were woken up to a sharp pain in your stomach. Your eyes shot open and you places your hand onto your swollen belly.

You leaned over to see the time read 1:45am. You didn’t want to wake Charles yet incase it was only Braxton  hicks you were feeling so you attempted to go back to sleep.

1:50

1:55

2:00

2:05

2:15

It was to much you couldn’t take it and that when you felt it. The cold drizzle of water down your leg and onto the bed sheets below you.

That’s it

“ Charles” you gently shock him

“Mmm” he hummed

“ Charles my water broke”

“ WHAT” he jumped up

“ my water broke she’s coming” 

“ ok ok calm down it’s alright you, you put some clothes on and I will get the bag then meet you in the car” he spoke frantically 

I got out of need to put some sweats and a jumper on I didn’t really care about my apparence at this point in time.

But Charles was still pacing around the house

“ Ok si seulement je peux me rappeler où j'ai mis ce foutu sac” ( ok if only i can remember where I put that bloody bag ) he mumbled to himself

“ it’s on the bench by the door over there” I spoke up from the bottom of the stairs and he jumped in fright

“ Cherie don’t sneak up on me like that, ok ok I got it let’s go let’s go move women” 

I smacked his head“ you will not rush me Charles Marc Herve Perceval leclerc”

“ ok sorry darling my bad” he spoke as he rubbed where I had slapped him.

3:30

3:35

3:50

4:00

4:30 

“ Charles how could you do this to me” I yelled all sweaty as I pushed a live human beating from me.

“ I know I’m very sorry, if I could take this all away I would” he spoke as he was rubbing my hair and holding my hand at the same time. His poor hand was probably broken by now

“ well you can’t physically take the pain away cause your a boy so SHUT UP DONT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANT KEEP”

“ ok ok Cherie I’m sorry I’m sorry but she’s nearly here you’re doing amazing”

“ it hurts Charles it really hurts, I don’t think I can do it”

“ no none of that yes you can your the strongest women I know, she’s nearly here ok just think about how cute she will be and how excited you will be when she’s here” he softly stroked your head.

“ ok mrs Leclerc one more push ok you can do it hun” 

“ see one more push you got this you can do it” he whispered encouraging 

I pushed as hard as I could then I heard the little cries. I feel back into the bed tears flowing down my face. Happy tears.

“ you did it shes here omg she’s beautiful” 

“ here you go momma your beautiful baby girl” the nurse spoke as she placed your daughter on your chest

“ Charles look she has your nose” 

“ she’s… she’s”

You looked up at Charles and he was crying unable to get the words out

“ she’s you Charles she’s gorgeous” you cried as well

“ hi baby I’m your daddy” 

“ the best daddy” you smiled

“Cherie I now know what max was talking about” he smiled stroking your daughters head

“ welcome to the world Indy Jules leclerc” you whispered

And like that the Leclerc family had started to form

———————————————————————

Tysm for reading I hope you enjoyed! Pls feel free to leave requests for this story in my inbox or any little messages you have you can leave in my request inbox as well xxx

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#1: The Hand (1.01)

The level of excitement, anxiety, joy, and anticipation I felt just before pressing play on the TOWL premiere was so high. My Richonne was finally coming back. 🥹 And man did they just snatch my heart for an entire hour with their return. I already knew seeing them again would be euphoric, but it was even more than I could have guessed. And the TOWL premiere dives right in with a very emotional, wild, and impactful first few minutes...

When deciding on a deadline for having these RIR: Towl Edition posts ready, I figured today, July 22, would be a great kickoff day since it's the anniversary of when The Ones Who Live was first announced at SDCC. 👌🏽😊

I remember where I was the day I first saw the TOWL announcement in 2022. I was in the middle of moving to a new place and saw an article pop up on my phone with a picture of Andy and Danai hand in hand at Comic-Con. I was just happy to see them.

And then I looked down at the article’s headline and saw they were there to announce that there would be a Rick and Michonne miniseries. 🤩 I was already overjoyed by that, but then, my joy just skyrocketed even more when I saw that they were coming back specifically for a miniseries focused on Rick and Michonne’s “epic love story” with Andy, Danai, and Scott as co-creators and executive producers. 😍

I knew we were about to have an absolute feast with this show our captains cooked up - and feast we most certainly did. This 6 episode miniseries is a six-course meal. 🍽

And I think TOWL is excellent on its own and has a lot of widespread appeal but when I’ve seen people say The Ones Who Live felt like it was particularly for the Richonne fans, there’s also a very clear explanation for that: the show was made by three Richonne fans. Scott, Andy, and Danai…they’re us. 😋

And I am so grateful to them for the beautiful gift that is The Ones Who Live. 😌

So this first post is a bit longer because I gotta come out the gate extra and even offer up some thoughts on the TWD clips that they included just before the premiere starts. I really liked how it sets up TOWL and highlights the power of Richonne’s relationship. 

They start by showing the iconic pilot shot of Rick on his horse riding along the barren side of a freeway as we hear his voice say, “We tell ourselves we are the walking dead.”

And then they include the iconic shot of Michonne’s TWD entrance from season 2.

They then show a clip from season 6, just a few episodes before Richonne would be canon. In the clip, Michonne is on the patio with Rick (and his elevator eyes) as she helps him see, “We’re in here together.”

I love this because in reminding Rick that they’re alive and breathing right here and now and have the room to make ASZ home it shows how Michonne was the one who helped change Rick’s motto from “We’re the walking dead” to “We’re the ones who live.” It’s one of the many ways she changed his life. 😌

They show some Say Yes moments, and you know I love that Richonne episode down. Seeing them use clips from the beloved 7.12, I remember just marveling over how years ago we were so excited just to get a single episode focused on Richonne and now we were gearing up to watch a whole miniseries dedicated to them. 🥰 Never getting over that blessing.

Rick says, “We’re gonna lose people, maybe even each other” as the clip ushers in its first gut punch of the hour by showing Rick and Michonne at their son Carl’s side after he reveals he’s been bit. 🥺

They also show Rick telling Michonne “You can lose me” in the Say Yes van and her saying “No.” We’ll talk about it more in a later post, but just as many of us suspected - Richonne cannot in fact lose each other and live on the same. While losing each other is and was physically possible, in every other way losing each other made them lose the most crucial parts of themselves.

Then they show Rick in his final TWD ep, preparing to blow up the bridge as his voiceover tells Michonne “If it’s me who doesn’t make it, you’re gonna have to lead the others forward because you’re the one who can.”

We see Michonne scream his name as Rick blows up the bridge and then they show our sweet older Judith as Rick says “Making a future for Judith, it’ll be worth it.” And I always love that 9.05 shot of Judith because of how it incorporates Rick, Carl, and Michonne with the holster, hat, and sword on her back. She along with RJ is an embodiment of their legacy and the future Richonne believed in.

Then they show Michonne slaying a walker as she says “We can make it. I’m not giving up.” And it just all really hammers home the resilience of Richonne and their love and partnership. They’ve been through so much, built so much, and lost so much, but they still stand because of each other and the family they created. 

After they give us some CRM insight with clips of Jadis (😒), they show scenes of Michonne and Judith’s last conversation where they both decide Michonne will go and look for The Brave Man. I’m glad they included that because some viewers really tend to forget that Judith urged her mom to go look for her dad and Michonne left not as an act of abandonment, but as the ultimate act of love for her family.

The TWD clips ends with Michonne saying “Okay baby girl I’m gonna try” and Judith saying “Go get him.” I love that even with everyone else thinking they were crazy, Michonne and Judith never stopped believing Rick was out there. (And RJ was believing too. 🥹 But I'm getting way ahead of myself lol)

And then --- the show we’ve all been waiting for begins and the TOWL premiere has a devastatingly poignant teaser. 🥺

I like how The Ones Who Live's opener connects to the last of the TWD clips because Michonne tells her baby girl she’s gonna try and then we hear Rick’s voice start the show by saying, “I tried. Please know I tried.”

It moves me how much Rick and Michonne have been trying for each other while apart. And it’s crushing to hear Rick say 'tried' in the past tense as he now debates no longer trying anymore since he's learned he can’t be with his family again or else risk putting them in harm's way.

After years of waiting to finally see what Rick has been up to all this time, they immediately let us know it has been an excruciatingly painful existence for him without his family. 😢

gif cred: @perryabbott

I like how the shot opens with Rick facing away from the camera as he stares out the window at a cold industrial view. Rick facing away from us almost gives this sense that we know him but we also don’t fully know him anymore. He’s been through a lot we haven’t seen.

The vintage TV delivers news of a massive attack in the background and similar to the destruction on the television, Rick also feels destroyed by the CRM and at his lowest here. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

Then I love how before we even see Rick's face, we see him holding one of his phone sketches of Michonne. This show did a great job of immediately setting up the way Richonne’s love would be at the center of every scene in this story.

This shot of Michonne on the phone let you know instantly that the love between Richonne is still so alive and important to Rick and the miniseries. It’s also painful because it’s like Rick is finally accepting that those little drawings really could be the last he ever gets to “see” her after fighting so hard to believe he would see her again for real one day. 

And it’s very symbolic to have him look at Michonne on the phone and then see his own reflection in it. They’re one. It’s also significant that the first we see of Rick’s face is through a reflection. Again he’s him, but he’s not fully him rn. Just a reflection. And the part of him he misses most is his other half - Michonne. 

gif cred: @richonne4life

One of the tragic aspects of these two soulmates being separated for so long is that Rick and Michonne were not the type of couple who needed absence to make the heart grow fonder. Like they didn’t need to lose each other to realize how special their love was. When they were together they were fully aware of the gift their relationship was in their lives and they treasured their love deeply and out loud.

So being apart has only heightened what Rick and Michonne already knew full well which is that they are the love of each other's lives. They’re everything to each other. They knew it back then. And they know it still now, even after being away from each other longer than they’ve been together. 

It’s such a big deal for Rick to look at this phone in this moment as he contemplates ending it. I noticed that anytime Rick thinks he’s about to die, he thinks of Michonne. It's as though he’s eager for his last moment of life and his last thought to be of her so that he can end on some semblance of a positive note.

When he’s on the bridge in TWD 9.05, Michonne is his last hallucination. When he later chops off his hand and fades out of consciousness he dreams of her. And here when he contemplates dying by his own hand, he looks at this image of her just before. It makes me think of that TikTok that went viral about a man saying his last breath will be his wife’s name. That is definitely Rick’s mindset and I love that Richonne’s love runs that deep. 

Rick looks out with tears in his eyes - just sadness personified - and then he stares at the shard of glass in his hand, contemplative, before putting the glass to his neck. The acting Andy does in this moment is incredibly powerful and painful. I know award shows disappointingly tend to completely sleep on the performances from the TWD cast but truly to me he secured every award nomination just within his first few seconds of being on screen.

There’s something so viscerally vulnerable about this moment as Rick stares at the glass really wondering if after everything he’s been through and overcome, it’s really come to this - meeting his demise by his own hand with a little piece of glass.

Plus with how resilient Rick is, it’s like we see this massive internal fight to go against everything in him that’s a survivor and actively choose to stop surviving once and for all.

My heart just instantly broke from this teaser because while yes we know Rick won’t go through with it, to know that he was even in the headspace of this makes me hurt for him deeply. To think he was ready to potentially just go out, alone, depressed, never seeing his family again and them never knowing he was out there, feeling like a failure. It’s extremely dark.

gif cred: @vidco

Throughout his time on TWD, Rick’s journey has been as much a mental battle as it has been an external battle and as we saw in the TWD pilot, Rick is extremely perseverant but without his family, he is not opposed to just ending it.

And now, he's tried so hard for so many years to get back to Michonne and Judith, he stayed alive off the memory of family and the hope of being with family again - But once he realized it was no longer an option unless he risked putting the ones he loves in immense danger, that was it for him. In this moment he no longer sees the point in living if he has to live without his wife and daughter. 🥺

I found it powerfully poignant to have a show called The Ones Who Live begin by having Rick about to take his life. It shows that for Rick, there’s an asterisk on that motto because he feels he’s only 'the one who lives' if he gets to live with Michonne. It’s either ‘the ones who live together’ or nothing at all for Rick. 

So he nearly goes through with this attempt. Even draws some blood on his neck...but then he stops. Thank goodness. 🙏🏽 He sucks his teeth and sighs as he stares at the shard of glass looking defeated but also resolved that he can’t go through with it. Not like this.

Through this teaser, we instantly get his state of mind. He can’t end it all but he’s been in so much pain that it feels like the only way through is to die. It’s utterly tragic. 🥺

And I truly feel like part of why Rick couldn’t go through with it is because he and Michonne genuinely are one. So his life is not just his to take.

So long as Michonne is still out there and her heart is still beating then his heart still has to beat too, even if he has to die in other ways to somehow go on without her. We’ll also learn more about why he doesn’t go through with it in his heartbreakingly romantic last letter to Michonne, but we’ll get there. 👌🏽

So then we see the back of Rick again as he ends the night accepting his dreary fate to live but truly as the walking dead from now on. And I really like how the show explores the dark and damaging side of having to tell yourself you’re the walking dead. As well as the dark side of being 'the one who lives' even when everything in you wants to quit living because now you have to live without those you love.

When Rick gave the speech about his grandpa and them being the Walking Dead in TWD 5.10, Daryl responded saying, “We ain’t them.” Rick agreed with that because so long as you have family you aren’t the Walking Dead.

But that’s the thing - Rick hasn’t had his family for years and so he really did have to become the Walking Dead. But as he’ll say at the end of the series (jumping way ahead again, I know lol) he thought he was alone, but he wasn’t. His kids and wife especially were still believing in him and still loving him out there.

I like to think that just like Michonne could feel Rick out there with all the love he was emitting from afar toward her, Rick too could feel all the love she was emitting to him and it kept him here a bit longer. And thank goodness for that because my beloved Rick Grimes' story deserves a bright positive ending, not one this dark and depressing, after everything he's been through. 

As the teaser ends and Rick stares into the CRM void, I like the score. The music almost feels like a menacing weighed-down heartbeat which is fitting.

And then there's the beautiful title sequence, which I adore the music and every Richonne image during the theme song. I like how it starts with Rick and Michonne in each other's arms from season 8, letting you know that while the teaser was very dark, there is light coming and that light is called Richonne.

(Also, I really wanted Rick to see Michonne in her corset armor during the show but since he didn’t, I’m glad there’s at least a gorgeous image of the two of them together during the theme song that includes her in the armor.)

I also liked the way the first ep just shows Rick under the title since it’s a Rick-centric episode and then the second episode has just Michonne under the title for the Michonne-centric episode. All and all, this whole opener was a very impactful way to kick off the show and set the tone for what Rick has been through and become in the years he's been away.

All the chatter from certain parts of the audience who thought Rick would move on and even have a new family in the Civic Republic was immediately dispelled because those speculations were always a ridiculous misunderstanding of the character. He found his everything in Michonne so of course he’s still as in love with her now as he was the day we last saw them together in season 9. Just like Michonne still stayed in love with him.

I love that they both refused to move on from each other and operated as in love as ever. And because they held onto that love, even when it felt like all was lost, that love was able to return to them. 👌🏽

So next, we get into some action as we’re taken to 5 years after the bridge. We see Rick and his iconic walk as he stands in the forest with other consignees. And it was such a joy to see him back on screen and know we were finally going to get the continuation of his story. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @vidco

Rick holds a CRM hatchet, which also feels symbolic because it’s similar to one of his signature TWD weapons, but it’s marked by the CRM showing they’ve in many ways attempted to claim him. 

Rick is also the only consignee with a leash, clearly illustrating that he’s a lil different than the rest. He’s the one who doesn’t want to be here and will try to escape if given the chance and the CRM knows this about him. Along with attempting to claim him, this leash makes it feel like the CRM is also attempting to tame him like he's a defiant animal.

gif cred: @nerd4music

As Rick looks around and takes a breath you can tell he’s fully made up his mind about what he’s about to do with his most extreme escape attempt yet.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Rick runs to take out walkers and again seeing him back in action is such a sight for sore eyes. He’s still got it. 👌🏽 However, because he looks all healthy and strong I think some can miss that Rick is still very much in mental disarray from battling the psychological torment of being taken and trapped all these years. Like he might look normal and fine (and I do mean that in all the ways 😇) but he's not mentally healthy right now.

(Side note: I really love the look of this whole night scene with the deep blues and fiery reds. The budget was doing its thing in TOWL. 👏🏽🔥)

gif cred: @nerd4music

So Rick runs far enough that the leash pulls him to the ground. A soldier yells at him and he says “Sorry. Trying to find my axe.” Look at our cute little liar. 😋

And then the show gets right into the wildness by having Rick put a belt around his arm and proceed to chop off his own hand. It’s insane😳.

It's also very reminiscent of when Negan nearly made Rick chop off Carl’s arm in the season 7 premiere. Chopping his own hand off in these woods was more doable for Rick than had he had to chop off Carl’s arm because it’s his family he cares about far more than himself.

As Rick prepares to do the chop he repeats “This is how” as in this is how he gets home. It hurts my heart that he feels this is the only way.🥺

But it's really moving to see that he’s willing to do something this intense to get back to his love. Also, this is 5 years after the bridge, so this means that even a half a decade later Rick was still as determined as ever to break free and get back to Michonne.

The people I watch with and I had a whole discussion on whether chopping the hand the way he did was daftly executed by the show considering it’s such an extreme thing to do in this situation where Rick was never going to successfully get away bleeding out like that with CRM soldiers so close by.

But my argument was that the 'ill-thought-out' element of this escape plan is part of the point.

For 5 years atp, Rick has been isolated from all love and warmth and is deteriorating mentally day by day. In this extremely damaged state, he’s not thinking straight, and cutting off his hand is a last-ditch effort that shows he will try absolutely anything, sound or unsound, to get back to Michonne and Judith.

Yes, he possibly could have just cut off the thumb or hacked at the leash but the extreme approach Rick took also conveys that he’s not all there right now and he’s as desperate as he’s ever been to finally break free and go home. It also informs us that his more sane escape attempts haven't worked and so now Rick Grimes is willing to try the insane stuff to get back to his family.

Think about the mindset he has to be in to go against natural human instinct and chop off his own hand. It’s crazy, but it immediately lets us know that even the most impractical solutions are now what it’s come to for him. 

gif cred: @nat111love

So basically, if it seems super reckless for him to do it this way, that’s the intention imo. He’s so worn down and off mentally from his debilitating circumstances that he’ll do anything whether it’s the wise thing or not, he doesn’t care anymore. Anything to get back to her.

The traditional saying is 'asking for her hand in marriage,' but here we see Rick, the ultimate lover boy, be like 'What if I literally give my hand for my marriage.' If there’s one thing TOWL made perfectly clear it’s that Rick and Michonne have crazy love. 💯

And while yes his escape plan could have been more thought through, my baby Rick did show some smart thinking by putting the ax in the fire to make the chop easier so you gotta give him that. 😌👌🏽

After he cuts off his hand this horror music plays as Rick proceeds to make a run for it. He has to lean behind a tree dazed as he bleeds profusely.

It’s crazy because the last time we saw Rick in a full episode of TWD he was bleeding out and now here he is intensely injured again and going through the wringer. I was so eager for whenever this man would finally get some much-deserved rest. 

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Rick then has the strength to take out a walker and cauterize the wound by plunging his arm into the fire inside it. This whole thing was an effective way to show early that one; Rick is built different and two; this man will endure literally anything to get home. And home is very much not a place but his wife and daughter.

So then he tries to make a run for it as CRM soldiers near closer and I honestly think with this being his fourth escape attempt this was really a “go home or die trying" attempt. Like I think Rick knew that dying tonight was a very real possibility.

The soldiers knock Rick down and he lays on the ground defeated and drained as he stares at the burning corpse of a walker that’s certainly meant to reflect how he feels as well. Almost like the burning desire to go home has officially consumed him and taken him out.

Feeling like a corpse himself, Rick fades out of consciousness as soldiers approach. And then we get to enter Rick’s lovely mind and see where he goes when at his wit's end.

And y’all, these first two TOWL scenes to analyze were pretty hefty, dark, and depressing, so it’s time we get to something lighter and happier to dive into. And what’s better and brighter than Rick’s beautiful dream world with his beautiful dream girl? 😌👌🏽🌟

[nobie]

Neil Gaiman.

I want to say a few things from a journalist perspective. I'm a journalist myself, I needed to get as much information as I could about this news with as much objectivity as I can have.

Tortoise is a UK based media group. They do a lot of multi media investigative reporting (not traditional mmj though more like scripted podcasts, regular podcasts, videos etc.). Their motto, I guess you could call it, is “Get the news not when it happens, but when it’s ready.”

It’s a fine model from a business standpoint, but in the journalism industry, being fast and accurate is what most news organizations strive for. But never hit the mark to be honest. Heavy on the accuracy part. Tortoise is comparable in America to NPR, but NPR is on a far larger scale since Tortoise is still new, being founded in 2019.

The SA allegations became a story from the ground up. There was nothing said about it before yesterday because this story came directly from the women he allegedly assaulted. I know using the word "allegedly" seems like a cheap shot, but it has to be used because none of it has been confirmed by Gaiman. Only that he did in fact have relationships with these two women. But the SA allegations continue to be denied. The reporters and producers at Tortoise media have written an article and created a full four part podcast. They detailed their stories from both women, spoke about SA misconceptions, and gave background on Gaiman and his relationships (relationships meaning sexual and non con acts happening with them so be aware of that).

The podcast, I'm not entirely fond of because a sensitive subject should not be made into a form of "entertainment." But it did give me more information and different perspective on the story. And from the way this podcast is produced you can tell this story was not investigated lightly. It is a bit distasteful, but it has been done before. This is a full production mind you with a beginning, middle, and end. Plus sound effects and dramatic music, so thats why I say I'm not really fond of the idea. Just reporting the entire story with quotes from the victims would've been enough. I can only hope the reporter and producer did their job ethically as to fully understood the allegations and weight of the subject. (They do mention that in the podcast as well, but as a journalist all I do is ask questions so I def had questions.)

Now this goes without saying, but there should never be any doubt that SA is unjustified and horrifying. And one should never disregard the feelings of the victims. Saying anything like "well they shouldn't have put themselves in that situation," is what I mean by disregard. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation?

That line of thinking is why SA is one the biggest ethical topics in media. Should it be reported? Should it not? How do we go about reporting such a sensitive subject objectively? Do we name the victims? Do we name our sources? Have we considered all of the code of ethics in our reporting? What about our personal values?

Journalism code of ethics: Minimizing harm, seek the truth, act independently, take accountability and be transparent. This might be the first time you're seeing these and I know historically it feels like none of this is considered, but I always consider them.

It’s been a battle of my own personal values to have to report events like this with no bias, but it’s necessary for accuracy and integrity in my reporting.

Ethically, as a journalist, I can't choose sides I need to look at it from all sides. But personally, as a human, I can't condone these actions. Nor will I ever condone it. All kinds of things are being said about this news, and everyone is allowed their own opinion. I only wanted to put my perspective out there because it should be another side of the story to understand, considering this came from Tortoise investigating the allegations.

Here is the article and other news sites that have talked about the story from Tortoise. Also gonna link SPJ code of ethics in case you want to read through them.

Tortoise

The allegations against Neil Gaiman (ep.1 on spotify but you can listen anywhere they have podcasts)

The Telegraph

Daily Mail

The Rolling Stones

SPJ Code of Ethics

Also to the Good Omens fandom, I know this is tough news, but you are allowed to still enjoy Good Omens. I know the guilt/shame of enjoying things that are against your morals, but be kind to yourself.

none of this edited so i apologize for any mistakes.

[not-goldy]

it’s no wonder Baekhyun's kfans are this deranged. he feeds into their delusions and he’s not even subtle about it. you get the fans you deserve. Him and Jungkook are the same. They sell parasocial relationships hard and it's gonna bite them in their ass one day. Weird cause these two have the talent in both singing and dancing, can't y'all just sell music instead.

I saw this comment under a pannchao post and most kpop fans and army agree to it. This is why I don't feel anything when JK is dragged through mud for some dating rumors. He's the one who fuels gf×bf dynamics with his fans, he's the one who deny having partner and only having army as his gf, he's the one who goes overboard with fanservice while other idols nor bts members does the same even if they do the same job as him, so obviously he's gonna get the fruit of it 🤷‍♀️ Do he think he can fool the f out of his fans and then have a peaceful dating life ? Either you draw clear borders with fans or you don't date.. as simple as that. It's even funnier when whole world can see what's happening while there's shippers who thinks he's dating his bandmate😭 even delulu than y/ns. I don't think anyone with self respect can be in a commited relationship with JK when all he does is sex chatting with his fans in lives and satisfy their Para social bf needs. And i think Jimin has more than enough self respect to be with a person like him.

I nearly agreed with you until you name dropped Jungkook.

I agree in part because I hate the fact these straight idols hide their Relationships when they have the privilege of dating openly without being persecuted unlike queer couples.

But leave Jungkook out of this please.

cos this same Jungkook is the one who nearly threw a fist when Armies would call him baby. Same person who squares up with his fans when they tell him they don't like content he puts out on live. He just shrugs and says well I like it.

Same Jungkook who got a tattoo and keeps adding to it knowing his fans hate it, not only that he also got pierced against their will and when he was told they hated long hair he went ahead and grew it out.

While you're out here claiming he panders to his fans there are several ex Jungkook stans who hate him because they claim he is a shitty idol who only does what he likes and doesn't care what his fans like.

Same person who was told by his members he had to post for each members birthdays because the fans were not happy he wasn't yet he didn't post any way.

Same person who's life motto is that he'd rather be dead than cool.

How do you reconcile these two things???

Same person who went to Itaewon during lockdown and wouldn't apologize because "IT WAS HIS PERSONAL LIFE" had it not been the fact others had died from covid and the sensitive nature of the issue he wouldn't have apologized at all.

He can't be tagged a carefree rebellious nonconformist idol while also seen as a fan-ass-kisser at the same time. Yall would have to choose a narrative and stick with it.

Personally I believe him when he says anything.

If he doesn't have a girlfriend it's because HE DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. yall jx not willing to stomach the fact. You are just like Tuktukkers istg.

Out of all BTS the one person who wouldn't give a flying fuck fans reaction when he's in a relationship IS JUNGKOOK. YALL WILL NOT MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE FOR LIKING WHAT OR WHO HE LIKES.

Even in our ship narratives we have this running theory that dudes always on the edge of the glass ceiling ready to shatter it to pieces but for consideration of Jimin. Even with that, every now and then he outs the dude.

He could have covered his bite marks or lied about it being an insect bite or pimle but dude just said naa that was Jimin. He be in my neck most times.

So we jokers see Jungkook waaaay differently from how yall see him. He is a complex living being not a one dimensional creature like you paint him out to be.

Fan service is part of Kpop. ALL IDOLS ENGAGE IN FAN SERVICE TO VARYING DEGREES. he's not the devil for doing fan service and while you think he doesn't have a sense of boundaries with it HE DOES. ITS JUST NOT THE BOUNDARIES YOU WISH HE HAD. SAY THAT AND GO.

ALL IDOLS TREAT THEIR FANS AS THEIR GFS AND BFS. ITS THE MONEY BLUE PRINT. ITS THEIR MARKETING STRATEGY.

AND YES, SINCE PORTRAYING THEMSELVES AS A AVAILABLE AND DOTTING ON FANS IS HOW THEY KEEP THE LOYALTY OF THEIR FANS THEY WOULD OBVIOUSLY LIE ABOUT THEIR DATING LIFE. I WOULD TOO IF I WERE AN IDOL.

But that doesn't mean whenever they say they are single its a lie💀💀💀💀💀💀

They are not always in a relationship.

That doesn't also mean they are all afraid to admit the truth about their relationship status. It depends on their age, how long they've been an idol and the level of success they've attained. A new idol on the scene obviously would be committing career suicide while a veteran couldn't give a fuck.

So when you talk of young Kook starting out his career I'd understand. He was subject to the control of his company and had to deny his relationships because at that stage he'd be risking much. But this Jungkook don't care I promise you. HE DON'T CARE BOUT YALLS FEELINGS ESPECIALLY AS HIS FANS ARE GROWING WITH HIM AND ARE AT THE SAME AGE AS HIM.

Also, some idols JUST don't CARE and would readily admit it if the person they are with is the one AND THEY LOVE THEM. you seem to forget that part.

It makes no sense to claim a partner and risk your whole career for a fling or someone you don't like like that can you be for real for once in your life?

Wait- ever think about that?

Normal people do this too. What's the expression, don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband or wife 🤭

We deny relationships all the time if we aren't serious about the people we are with. Or if we aren't sure where we stand with the person.

It doesn't make us evil and idols are just like us. Not every single person they messing around with is WORTH CLAIMING at all.

Which is what I've been saying for years, that if an idol is denying a relationship its usually because that relationship, fling or whatever isn't worth them claiming or risking their careers for.

If they are with someone they truly loved and revered denying them would be the last and the hardest thing they'll do and eventually theyll stop apologing for it, they grow out of their concerns for their careers, become mature and own up to it.

I keep telling my ladies, if a man keeps hiding you, if a man refuses to post you on his socials HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT AND YOU'RE PROBABLY A SIDE PIECE TO HIS SIDE PIECE. DROP THE DUSTIE, LOVE YOURSELVES AND BREAK UP WITH HIM PRONTO.

Yall are mad these idols aren't claiming the imaginary girlfriends you want them to have.

Yall mad they aren't claiming the insignificant placeholders in their beds 🤣

Like leave them alone.

If the coochie is worth fighting for someone like Jungkook WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUT UP A FIGHT. IVE SEEN HIM RISK A LOT MORE FOR A MAN YALL CLAIM IS HIS FATHER- OR WAS IT MOTHER😵

SURELY HE SHOULD HAVE NO QUALMS FIGHTING FOR YALLS QUEENS IF HE'S WITH EM🤭

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage April 2024 Issue Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger Introduction ft. Iuchi Haruhi Interview (translations below)

Publication: March 8, 2024 (between episodes 1-2)

"Receiving the baton from the kings are superheros who drive cars with flair! The new Sentai, with its trademark racing suits, will burst throughout the world!"

Taiya Hando is a "deliverer" who delivers whatever is asked of him. When the Great Space Invasion Running Team Hashiryan appears, along with Ishiro Meita and Mira Shifuto, they change into the Boonboomgers! To protect the people, they challenge the Hashiryan to battle!!

The 48th installment of the Super Sentai series, "Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger," is now airing. This time, it's a Sentai characterized by the fact that all members are professionals in some way. Taiya, a genius in development and modification, drives a car he tuned up himself and works as a deliverer. Each person plays an active role by demonstrating their own skills. Another important point is that the "usual look" is different, with Ishiro being a freelance spy, and Mira working a variety of part time jobs. It'll be interesting to see what kind of chemistry will be created by these members, who all have different personalities, lives, and areas of expertise.

We also wonder what will happen to Jou Akuse and Genba Bureki. How they'll become members of the Boonboomgers, we can only expect an "explosive" drama! _

Taiya Hando: He's an expert in development and modification, and works as a "deliverer". He makes quick decisions, with his motto being to "take the wheel." He enjoys unexpected situations with a positive attitude.

Ishiro Meita: He's an "informant" who's skilled in intelligence gathering. He's a calm and attentive person who always considers the risks. He puts his full trust in Taiya, and lends his support to whatever he decides.

Mira Shifuto: She's a "driver" who's good at driving and maneuvering. After meeting Taiya, she starts to show her inner strength. She's the innocent mood maker of the Boonboomgers.

Jou Akuse: He's a "police man" who's excessively serious and reckless. He's a kind hearted police officer loved by the people of the town, and usually patrols it on his bicycle.

Genba Bureki: He's a "procurer" who procures what he needs from out of nowhere. While soft spoken and kind, he never shows his true feelings.

Bundorio Bunderas: Also known as Boonboom. He's a car shaped alien, who's usually humanoid and human sized, but when the time comes, he transforms into a giant and fights as the Boonboomgers Robo! _

-What I have in common with Taiya is our strong sense of commitment!-

"Please tell us your impressions of Taiya and what you're mindful of when acting."

Iuchi: Compared to the other characters, he seems to have more optimism, so I thought about how I should express that. When it comes to keeping his passionate heart to himself, if I'm too cool, he'll resemble Chasshiro (Ishiro), but if I show it too much, he'll come off as hot blooded, so I was wondering how to find the right balance. For example, regarding the relationship between Taiya and Chasshiro, I looked for references from my favorite anime and other sources to solidify his image.

"What do you think are some similarities between yourself and Taiya, and conversely, what do you not have in common?"

Iuchi: I think we're similar in that we have a strong sense of commitment for what we do, and that we focus on what we love! I always used to be called stubborn. Once I've made up my mind, I can't think about anything else. What we don't have in common is everything else (laughs). I can't develop or modify anything, and I'm pretty indecisive. I feel like I'm the same as Taiya in that I put all my energy into what I like to do.

"What do you think of the visuals when Taiya transforms into BoonRed?"

Iuchi: The other members have also said this, but the impact of the tires being on the face was amazing at first (laughs). However, when I saw them in action, I slowly began to think, "They're super cool!" Not just BoonRed, but seeing all the Boonboomgers actually moving is really cool. During the dub, you can put your personality into your voice, but that being said, if you don't do it well, it'll end up being mismatched. We're getting some great action, so I want to do my best to make the most of it.

"What are your impressions of the mechs, such as the Boonboom Trailer that BoonRed rides in?"

Iuchi: When I first saw it, it brought back memories from my childhood. My father loved foreign cars, and we had alot of model cars displayed in our house. He bought me alot of miniature cars, and I used to play with them by driving them on the carpet with roads drawn on it. So, I felt nostalgic and alittle happy.

"Please tell us what you remember from filming of the first episode."

Iuchi: The first episode focused on Mira, and although she had her own thoughts and feelings, she was being pushed around……as Taiya said, she wasn't able to "take control of her own wheel." The look and feel of the scene where Mira expresses her determination and passion to Taiya left a strong impression on me. Also, the line, "Whatever you ask me to do, I'll deliver it. That's what a deliverer does." I thought it was an important line for Taiya, where the word "deliverer" is used, so I was very enthusiastic about it.

"For scenes involving Taiya, the relationship between him and Ishiro also leaves an impression."

Iuchi: Even before filming, Hayama Yuki-kun, who plays Chasshiro, and I discussed things like, "What's the relationship between the two of them?" and "How should we go about this?" I'd be happy if we're able to give off the feeling that those two are a pair.

"Other than Taiya, which character are you interested in?"

Iuchi: It's Genba! He's very mysterious, and the vibe he and his outfit gives off is kinda different, huh? I still don't know how Taiya and Genba will meet, but I'm looking forward to seeing how Genba's encounter with the other three will balance things out. He seems like a very appealing character.

"Finally, tell us some future highlights."

Iuchi: Episode 2 is about Mira and Chasshiro, and the line, "Boonboomger is connected to my and Boonboom's dreams" is said. These words are connected to the reason why Taiya is gathering these friends, and I think that everyone's pasts will also be depicted from now on. I'd be happy if you pay attention to it.

"Taiya himself also has a mysterious side."

Iuchi: I guess so, there are still alot of things I don't understand (laughs). We'll be gathering more and more friends from now on, so please look forward to it! _

Q: What's your favorite anime/manga?

Iuchi: Due to the influence of my parents, I've always loved manga! We had alot of manga at home, which led me to watch various anime. In particular, my favorite manga is "Fullmetal Alchemist," which I've reread countless times, and have also watched the anime.

[aishangotome]

IkeVil Prologue 2

Victor: Starting today, you will be the exclusive "Fairytale Keeper" for Crown.

Victor: Kate, from now on, you will live in this castle and act together with the members of Crown.

Victor: The Crown members will monitor her to ensure she does not leak any secrets.

Victor: In the meantime, I want Kate to write down how they carry out their evil deeds. Like writing a fairytale.

Victor: If you want to return to your normal life after a month... you must not fall in love with them.

-

About a week has passed since the sinful life as a Fairytale Keeper began.

Just as Victor advised, I haven't fallen in love with anyone, and the day when I can prove I can keep secrets and safely return home is not far off.

That's what I thought, right before it happened.

Pure evil descended upon England-–.

-

Victor: The reason I gathered you all today is none other than

Victor: To introduce our guest from Germany –-

Victor: To Crown and Kate.

Victor: Would you please introduce yourself?

Angel-like Man: Nice to meet you, dear members of Crown.

Darius: I am Darius Vogel, the director of "Vogel," a research organization directly under the German Emperor.

Victor: I hear Vogel is a research organization that advocates for cursed social contributions.

Victor: They will be staying in this palace for a few months as goodwill ambassadors.

Darius: "A better society through the power of curses." That is our motto.

Darius: Even though cursed ones live in the shadows now, I believe there are more wonderful ways to interact with society!

Darius: A future where humans and cursed ones work together... Doesn't the thought of it make you excited?

Darius: So when I heard that there is a wonderful organization called "Crown" in England, I couldn't sit still.

Harrison: ............

Darius: Ah, don't worry! Of course, only a few people in Germany know about the existence of "cursed ones."

Darius: The reason we know about "Crown" is that we are all "cursed ones" too.

Darius: If cursed ones deepen their interactions, it seems like we could deepen our knowledge about curses and abilities, right?

Darius: We could hold a banquet, or it would be fun to accompany you on missions for field research.

Victor: They have officially entered the country as diplomats, and their purpose of researching cursed ones is kept secret.

Darius: Thank you for the polite explanation, Queen's Aide. So, we are both in positions where we have a lot to hide...

Darius: I would be happy if we could create a new order together with you.

Darius: By the way... it seems William Rex is not here, where is he?

Victor: Ah, William is absent today. I apologize.

Darius: Is that so? That's a shame. I thought I could finally meet him in person...

Darius: Well, it can't be helped since we came a few days earlier.

Darius: Well then, both of you, please greet everyone. They are twins, the older one is Nica, and the younger one is Ring.

Darius: So, please greet everyone nicely.

Ring: Ring Schwartz... I'll be in your care for a few months. If you harm us, I won't show mercy.

Nica: Hey, don't threaten them. I'm sorry for my brother's rudeness.

Nica: He's a cute and good boy like this, but he's very wary like a dog. Ah, yes, my introduction.

Nica: Guten Tag, everyone at Crown. I'm Nica Schwartz. Nice to meet you.

Darius: Yes, yes, Nica is a good boy.

Darius: Nica, Ring, and I are like "family."

Darius: I would be happy if we could have that kind of relationship with everyone too.

Darius: ...Huh? I heard Crown consists of the Queen's Aide and eight men... Who are you?

Kate: I am Kate, the "Fairytale Keeper."

Victor: She is not a cursed one, but she is an important person who records Crown's activities.

Darius: "Important person"? Hmm...

Darius: If you are an "important person" to Crown, we must treat you with respect too.

Ring: ....................

Nica: That's right, Dari. I'm glad because I thought it would be boring with only guys.

Nica: Nice to meet you, cute little robin.

Kate: ...Nice to meet you too.

-

After parting with Vogel, who said they would be staying in the palace rooms prepared by Victor, we return to the castle with the members of Crown.

(I'm finally getting used to this life, but I feel like something is about to change again.)

With that premonition in mind, I reflect on the encounter we just had.

(Vogel... a research organization for cursed ones. So there are such things outside of England too.)

(Darius was always smiling and seemed like an angel.)

(The impression of Nica, who seemed bright and easy to talk to, and Ring, who seemed cold, was the opposite even though they are twins.)

(In any case, I'm glad they were friendly people... or so I should feel.)

(Why do I feel like that's not all...?)

(Maybe I've become suspicious because of being exposed to various evils while spending time with Crown...)

Harrison: ...Hey, did you feel it too?

Kate: Huh?

Harrison: Those guys are lying.

-----

Nica: "Fairytale Keeper," huh? That position, and the existence of that girl, were not in the data we had beforehand.

Nica: Maybe she accidentally found out about Crown's existence and is being monitored. What do you think, Ring?

Ring: ..................

Nica: ...Ring? Are you listening?

Ring: Ah, ...I don't understand difficult things, but I think it's better not to speak based on speculation.

Ring: It's better not to let our guard down as long as we don't know their true identity. ...That's all, right?

Darius: Well, even though she's a "Fairytale Keeper," she seems like an ordinary "human," so she can't do much.

Darius: The important thing is to increase our "family." Let's not forget our purpose.

Nica: Verstanden.

Ring: ...Yeah.

Darius: I can't wait to talk to everyone more. Hehe.

.

.

.

.

.

Roger Barel - Chapter 1

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[lilybug-02]

What gets to me the most about all of the satanic imagery deltarune has is this one fact:

Father Alvin states that honetowns religion has no concept of sin. This is stated when he recalls asriel making confessions about dropping yoshi in mario and asking for forgiveness, which Alvin felt wasn't necessary since the religion doesn't have a concept of sin.

Do you get how important this is? If there is no concept of sin that means, that unlike Christianity there was no First Sin, there was no tempting serpent- LUCIFER MIGHT NOT EXIST IN HOMETOWN'S RELIGION

So what does this mean about kris, being framed by the narrative as a lucifer like figure? Are they going to become a satanic figure in an environment that previously lacked one?

Despite all of their strange behaviour added with their lack of intrest in the faith, kris has not been treated any differently by the town- which stands in contrast to small Christian towns in real life, but that is slowly because honetowns religion is not christianity. But what if we change that?

We already seen how much imposing our will upon kris in the weird route has affected their relationship with noelle, a single person, what if we could alter their relationship with the entire town?

That is so weird, I could have sworn Alvin only said they only didn't practice confessions. I guess they don't believe in sin... Which by definition is the "deliberate and purposeful violation of the will of God".

idk. "Absence of sin" is an interesting motto. Many religions have some type of retributions of "sin" (going against the the religious beliefs). Hell, bad reincarnation, etc. So Kris presenting as the "original sin" motif fits in a weird way as this Angel religion is seen as more "pure"/devoid of sin...?

[little-cereal-draws]

Details I noticed in Nimona pt 5

It was mentioned in this post on Instagram that Nimona was there in the crowd before the knighting ceremony. A person blocks her from view for a second and she emerges on the other side as a rat

In the video clip the news anchors play of baby Ballister hopping the fence, the Queen is there. She's sitting in a booth on the bottom right of the screen so she's slightly blocked by the crowd watching the news but she sits forward as Ballister runs in. The Director is in the upper right as she leads the class

During Ambrosius' introduction, there's a clip of him taking a selfie with a kid in the Glorodome. There are two men wearing red coats behind them who hug/lean into each other in a very couple-y pose. Are gay relationships ok here?

Ballister smiles when Ambrosius calls him "thinky face." At this point he hasn't even looked at him yet but Ambs can still make him smile

The knighting ceremony must have been done in alphabetical order by first name because that's the only way you would get Ambrosius and then Ballister right after each other

Ballister is definitely bleeding after the jumbotron falls. It looks like dirt in the shadows but he's got a huge scrape on his forehead that is red in the light

There's a reflective piece of glass or metal right by Ballister's work bench. You can see his reflection in it as he makes his arm and then Nimona's reflection as she sits in the chair, playing with the knife

The papers Nimona drew her "resume" on have the Institute logo on them. Somehow she got ahold of Institute letter paper lol

Everyone likes to talk about the symbolism of the eye highlights so here's something interesting. In the scene where Nimona declares herself his sidekick, Ballister's eye highlights are the same shape as hers. His highlights go back to squares in the next scene

A nice bit of character acting- Ballister holds his wounded shoulder as the knights shove him in the holding cell

I know people have already pointed out that you can see Nimona as a rat as the Director leaves his cell but there are also normal rats and you can hear them squeaking

Ballister's prosthetic has a ball at the top of it that mimics the ball and socket joint of the shoulder. That means that it would need something to attach to. He’s probably got a metal bit on his torso that the ball has to go into to be able to have the full mobility of a shoulder. Meaning… Ambrosius took off his arm and a chunk of his torso

As they’re walking past all the knights Nimona beat up during the jailbreak and she says “They were like this when I got here,” there’s a knight stuffed inside the vending machine and a sword sticking out of the filing cabinet

When Nimona’s cooking the mushrooms for the breakfast tacos, she breathes fire on them but her back is to the camera so that ability is still a surprise to the viewer later. You can tell it's her though because her fire is orange and the fire from the stove is blue

When Ballister takes the arrow out of Nimona's leg, she's sitting on an old car seat(?) and he's kneeling on the ground next to her with one leg up. He's got her injured leg resting across his knee. Idk maybe ppl already knew that but I always thought he was sitting on the seat next to her

The knight that Nimona points to when she says, "He just peed his armor, he peed his armor!" is the otter knight with the cast on his arm (rip that guy lol)

The Institute has a motto that's four words in Latin. It's on the Insitute's logo but is most visible when the Director does press conferences. It reads, "Trad?m?? Securitas ???????? ???????" (The bottom two words get cut off by the podium) I'm pretty sure it translates to "Keeping our way of life safe" which is the tagline on the picture of the Director Ballister has on his murder wall

After the Kingdom rebuilds, there's a shot of hover cars going in and out of the wall. On the wall, they've laid the stones to make a phoenix pattern

When Ballister hangs up Nimona's headphones when he's cleaning up the tower, her sunglasses are hung above them

pt one, pt two, pt three, pt four

[jamiesfootball]

What are your thoughts on Ted? Is it good he went home?

These are two separate answers but I'm gonna try to combine them into one thought bubble (bear with me).

My short answer regarding Ted's ending is that you can't create a fully fleshed out character for 2-3 seasons and then in the final hour decide he was Mary Poppins all along. The Mary Poppins is meant to be strange, not-quite of normal ilk. She's the static character who leads the change in others, the one who inspires. You don't usually see the inner thoughts and workings of a static character.

From the very first time the audience meets Ted, we understand that this is not a static character because he is literally one of our starting POVs. We see his uncertainty about flying across the globe to go teach a sport he doesn't understand. We see him turning to Beard for reassurance. We see him stick his hand out where it isn't wanted while he tries to find common ground with people in a new country. We see the beginnings of a panic attack at the press conference.

That is is episode one. He is not a static character. He is not a strange and unusual person impossible to understand. He is inspiring, yes, but that is because of his humanity- his kindness.

He is not a Mary Poppins.

Ted is at his most interesting when he is a complicated, struggling, but ultimately kind man who tries his best to show genuine empathy and compassion towards others. The fact that this same trait doubles as a flaw is equally intriguing.

Ted can reassure Sam that Jamie won't be coming back, or Ted can reach out to Jamie when he's struggling and ask him to come back. Both are acts of kindness. He can not do both.

Ted can show Rebecca empathy and understanding for her trying to sabotage Richmond, but it ties his hands on being honest to Jamie about why he was sent away in the first place.

In trying to balance kindness, Ted struggles to be direct. He struggles to come right out and tell people how he's feeling about situations. Despite encouraging other people to talk about their feelings, he dances around his own and avoids awkward confrontations. I think that is the flaw that Ted most needed to explore. At the same time, I hesitate to say he could have learned too much given how he was struggling to process his own trauma with his dad and how it effected his relationships with those around him. (Put a pin here, I'll be back for it in a later.)

Pivoting back to Ted's purpose in the narrative, unfortunately as the show ran through season three, it became too near-sighted on The Message and in turn lost sight of making sure the characters had fulfilling interactions with each other. This especially becomes apparent when it comes to Ted, whose motto in season one is 'be curious not judgemental.' I maintain that season three was a low point for Ted emotionally, and if I were to assign a reason in-universe as to why Ted seemed so off from his usual self, it would be that in his depression, he no longer had the energy to realize he wasn't being curious. One indication of this would be how many times Ted casts assumptions on people in season three, compared to his hey-do-you-think conversational openers from earlier seasons. Some examples would include:

-never trying to figure out what makes Zava tick (this is a big one to me. I think season one Ted would have been all over trying to crack Zava like a nut)

-assuming he already knows why Jamie is upset about Zava joining the team and brushing it off

-assuming that Dr Jacob would propose + assuming that Michelle would say yes instead of trying to ferret out whether

-his assumptions about Henry being bullied (the knee-jerk reaction as a parent to protect your kid is understandable, the lack of delving into the situation and why it happened are more what I mean here)

-his whole conversation with Jamie about his dad. Other people in more succinct words have pointed out how it feels like he fully projected what he needed to hear onto Jamie's situation, and I think that's fairly accurate. This was not a 'talk to me and tell me what's going on so I can better understand how i need to help you' conversation. This was a 'oh that's whats going on? how about you do this? that work? alright then' talk.

So the finale struts back around and Ted has made a decision. He's going home. And it's meant to feel like closure. They play the Cat Stevens song and it's supposed to feel like Ted has finally made a step in the right direction (which is certainly one take on those lyrics but I digress). He's going back home. He's going to be with his son. He's letting go of the damage his father leaving did to him. He's giving up on something and he's finally okay with that. He left Richmond better than he found it and that's what matters.

Everyone else can cry but he's not crying. He's finally with Henry again.

So here's my two cents. And this is definitely just my opinion but-

THAT'S FUCKING STUPID.

Because the only way that Henry OR Richmond exists is in a false dichotomy wherein the two cannot possibly coincide, despite the fact that there are MANY KIDS' SHOWS ABOUT CHILDREN MOVING TO NEW LOCATIONS EVEN NEW COUNTRIES because that is a NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE NORMAL WORLD ALL THE TIME.

Like holy shit that is. That is just the plot of a Disney channel show. 'My dad the football coach moved to england to coach the other football.' That is just the plot of a Disney channel original movie with a $300 budget that magically gets a sequel. Is that what I'm supposed to say 'oh no, that could never happen' over? Because I"m already watching a TV show. You can put a show in another show- I'm fine with that.

Remember that pin above? Time to pull it out. Because you know what would have been a more narratively satisfying conclusion?

If Ted had actually asked Henry and Michelle if they'd liked to move to London to be closer to him. If he had actually expressed his fucking need to have both his Kansas family and his Richmond family close to him. Maybe they would have said no, maybe they would have said yes, but you know what? It would have at least opened the door to the discussion about what Ted might need as a person moving forward, whichever way the chips fell. At least he would have done the one thing we didn't see him do all show:

Ask for something for himself. Because he wants it. Not for the good of his family, or the team, or anyone else. Just for Ted.

I am not saying his son isn't the most important thing in his life. I am saying as a goddamn adult person, you can NOT mold your life around your kids. You can't. Full stop. It is not healthy. You put your kid's needs above your own, but as a parent your needs have to come second. You have to take care of your own emotional health so that you have the bandwidth to give them support. You have to set the example of what healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself looks like.

Could Ted make new social connections back in Kansas? Well that's the thing isn't it- season one Ted could have. Easily. Season three Ted? The one who's checked out and looks tired all the time and isn't even following his own motto anymore and didn't even cry like he'd miss his friends when he was leaving? I'm not sure about that Ted. I'm worried about that Ted. I'm worried he's going to put himself in a situation where for the next 9 years of his life his only priority is going to be keeping Henry happy by giving Henry the attention he never got from his own father. And after that? Henry's an adult. Henry has to go live his own life.

And Henry's going to be able to tell, by the way, if his dad is struggling. Whatever Ted's emotional health is like, Henry is going to pick up on it. This isn't a one way road. Kids notice.

Ted untangled himself enough to admit that what he wants is to be close to Henry. I commend that. But then he decided that there was only one way to do that, and he didn't look any further than that. The narrative didn't look any further than that. For a show that itself raises the topic of mental health, it feels tone-deaf to pretend that Ted moving away from his entire support group is a happy ending. He doesn't even have Beard!

So to summarize: what do I think about Ted? I think he's a fascinating character. I think he has a genuine kindness to him that is rare. I think he is flawed, and a little bent up on the inside, and he's got a lot of issues to work through. And I think the show did him a disservice by painting him going back to Kansas as a sign that everything was going to be okay.

[cienie-isengardu]

Iroh's "I looked away"

“The Storm” [s01e12] provided us a great insight into Zuko’s character, one that undoubtedly helps to understand his motives and anger but also how Ozai’s physical and psychological abuse influenced the banished prince. There are plenty of things to talk about, many little details that build layers of a complicated relationship between Zuko and his father, uncle, or even his crew and how perception of Zuko changes once we learn the truth behind the scar. But the episode also shows us a great deal of insight into Iroh’s character and though I do love how “The Storm” challenged our perception of those characters, rewatching ALTA makes Iroh’s “I looked away” much more devastating to me. 

Because it is not just about his guilt over abuse Zuko was forced to endure. A guilt that won’t disappear no matter if he could or couldn’t do anything to prevent it, but… Iroh truly looked away from Fire Nation as a whole, didn’t he? Understandably, he was grief-struck after Lu Ten’s death and he did not fight back Ozai for the throne, as I suspect he either did not care anymore for it or did not want a civil war to destroy Fire Nation from inside. But he still was The Dragon of West, a very respected general and powerful political figure that others weren’t willing to openly challenge, including Ozai himself.

And no, I’m not wondering why Iroh did not interference with Agni Kai before Zuko’s face was burned to “teach him respect” but about the fact that he did not say anything at all against using the division of new recruits as a bait - and from the episode alone, we know he agreed with Zuko on that matter. It wasn't the right strategy - even if it has merit from a military standpoint, it definitely wasn’t moral or good for Fire Nation’s wellbeing. Beside Zuko, who openly challenged the strategy and called it betrayal, the only person that questioned it at all was an old unnamed general (“But the 41st is entirely new recruits. How do you expect them to defeat a powerful Earth Kingdom battalion?) while Iroh simply kept quiet and this detail makes me think the “I looked away” is as much about Iroh looking away from Ozai’s cruel abuse toward Zuko as about Iroh’s passivity during the war meeting, and in greater scheme, Fire Nation’s politics. I doubt Iroh could change Ozai’s mind and sure, I do not have an idea how the relationship between Fire Lord and ex-Crown Prince looked like, but the point is, Iroh did not even try to question the strategy and choose to sit quietly and dunno, it makes me wonder, did Iroh give up at this point of his life? Was he so afraid of the consequences for speaking his mind that he allowed Ozai and Fire Lord’s court to subdue him so much? Because if he did, his words to Zuko “[...] But you must promise not to speak. Those old folks are a bit sensitive, you know?” is as much warning to Zuko as to himself. 

Iroh said to the crew that Zuko was right but it wasn’t his place to criticize the strategy, but who else was supposed to speak against this plan, if Iroh himself chose to stay quiet on the matter? If all generals - then and three years later - didn’t have any respect for life, whatever for their own subjects or civilians of other nations? And I think this is what truly kills me about this situation, that 13 years old boy had courage to speak against this dehumanization of Fire Nation’s citizens when Iroh, our good uncle Iroh, kept quiet and looked away again and again from what was happening until he couldn’t do that anymore because too great damage was already done.

(And isn’t it ironic that Iroh gave little Zuko a knife with the description never give up without a fight - words Zuko adapted as his life motto - but Iroh himself gave up? First at Ba Sing Sai, after Lu Ten’s death, now here during a war meeting and maybe, just maybe it is Zuko that unexpectedly pushed him back on the right track to actually do something, to make a choice and fight for what he believed was right instead of passively watching all the abuse done to an innocent child and young soldiers serving loyalty to their country. Was Iroh already a White Lotus then or did the travel with Zuko give him an opportunity to join it because he couldn’t anymore look away from how messed up Fire Nation became?)

[princeofsinweek]

Hello! I am so excited to be hosting a Prince of Sin Week this year. The goal is to get more content on the Princes and to celebrate the next book coming out in October! @afandomangel is running the account but I want to shout out @litnerdwrites and @cadiawrites for all of the support and great ideas. The encouragement to have this be a larger event has really helped!

Shoutout to @litnerdwrites for this idea to have both prompts for each day and a prince for each day that creators can choose from! We need your help for the second option of each day. For each day creators can choose to either write for that Prince and/or use the prompt. i.e. for 07/08 you can choose to create something for Pride, use the prompt to make something for Pride, or chose a different Prince and use the prompt for 07/08.

07/07 Day 1: Prince Wrath/All Is Fair In Love and War

Featuring Prince Wrath’s sin, Wrath is the demon general of war and is a fierce warrior and strategist. "Acta non verba," meaning "actions, not words," is Wrath’s motto, and he lives by it. And don’t forget that “anger is his own personal aphrodisiac.” 😏

07/08 Day 2: Prince Pride/ Reflections and Ego

“I don’t simply look pretty. I am dashing.” Day two will feature Prince Pride. He loves to feed his ego and leads many to believe he is debauched, a drunkard, and a rake, but it is all an act. Though he does play the role so well that sometimes it doesn’t look like an act, leading to some of his struggles with those he cares for.In Emelia’s description of his throne room, it is described to have ornate mirrors everywhere to allow him to gaze upon himself whenever he likes. And as we learned from one of the other princes (Envy) the mirrors may not always be used just for his own reflection.😉

07/09 Day 3: Prince Envy/Games and RIddles

Prince Envy, oh Prince Envy, our prince loves a good game just as much as he loves to invoke his namesake sin in others. He often plays games with others, some dangerous enough to threaten his court. He is very cunning and ruthless, and he is not above trickery.  He is quite envious (hence his sin) and is a tad possessive as we saw in Throne of the Fallen with Camilla. 

07/10 Day 4: Prince Greed/All Bets Are Off

Prince Greed, like his brothers, enjoys games and tricks. He rules over his own gaming hell and enjoys placing wagers. He is also very calculating and ruthless, and Emelia describes him during an encounter as having a possessive hunger in his gaze. With his namesake sin, he is very greedy and can never get enough of things, power being one of them.  

07/11 Day 5: Prince Gluttony/Champagne Fountains

“He was a rake through and through. And he seemed adored for it.” Prince Gluttony overindulges in the things he enjoys: food, alcohol, debauchery, and hosting jaw-dropping parties to shock others, including the Reporter (Can’t wait for Throne of Secrets).  Gluttony is very suggestive and is often occupied in the selfish matters of his sin. Someone mentioned in the suggestions for prompts that he spends a lot of time with his partner. Our prince most likely does overindulge when it comes to his partner, time, gifts, food, attention, etc. 

07/12 Day 6: Prince Sloth/For Research

Like Gluttony, Sloth is often preoccupied in selfish matters of his sin. But unlike his brothers, he prefers to lounge around and read rather than engage in debauchery. He wears a mask of being a bashful, lazy book lover but he is also a very lethal warrior wielding a powerful weapon of his mind. He is very calculating and does not miss a detail. He takes his time studying until he has formulated a conclusion and course of action.  Sloth is very guarded and wary of others and often investigates others wanting to know everything about them from birth to the present day, including all potential lovers.  As for relationships Sloth has only had a few serious relationships and none have ended with tragedy or heartbreak. Sloth tries to avoid drama. 

07/13 Day 7: Prince Lust/Lover

The final day will feature Prince Lust’s sin. The Prince of Lust is known for toying with a person’s happiness and their carnal urges. He is quite the gossip and is very cunning. The prince is also a secret romantic despite his love for debauchery. Him being needy and romantic were a common suggestion for the prompts for Prince Lust.

[earlgreytea68]

A Note on Olivia's Speech -- Kinda

OMG this is so much babbling but I wrote it all down in case it might be interesting to anyone else who feels vast amounts of guilt over writing about guys all the time??????

When I was a younger writer, I used to write a lot of het. That's what I wrote all through my teenage years and into my early twenties, just tons of traditional male/female romance novels, which honestly was mostly what I read through those years, too (aside from the classics that I was forced to read for my degree in English, which was exactly why I majored in English lol). Even when I started writing fanfiction, which wasn't until my mid-twenties, I wrote het.

But then at one point I started writing m/m love stories, and I never stopped. And I worry a lot about that, like, is this betraying internalized misogyny on my part? Why am I writing about men (and often white men), who get so many of the stories anyway? I should write more about my actual gender identity, which is cisgender woman. But every time I did, it felt so weird and stilted to me. And my motto is that unless I'm writing for money I write makes me happy, so I kept writing m/m fic.

Once, years ago, I went to a presentation at an academic conference where they discussed the phenomenon of cisgender women writing m/m fic. I know this often gets characterized as just some kind of sexual kink, and I just don't think that's what's going on with me, and that presentation noted that cisgender men are the default, so to speak, in our society. And so characters with a cisgender male gender identity are allowed to be blank slates that can be absolutely anything you want. Whereas as soon as you make a character a cisgender female, suddenly there are all these societal pressures on that character. And that did resonate with me, that try as I might I couldn't just change the pronouns of the cisgender men I was writing and ta-da! They were cisgender women! Because there's just so much other baggage that comes with being a cisgender woman that they were freed from if they were cisgender men -- even if I resented that that was the case!

But I've been doing a lot of reading this past year, and not of romance novels, of quote-unquote "serious" novels (an adjective I strenuously do not agree with, as a writer of romance lol). I read Elif Batuman's books (both hilarious but both kind of fell apart about halfway through), I read Checkout 19 (which I pretty much hated), I read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (weird book), I read The Farewell Tour (which surprised me and I liked much more than I'd thought I would). Every one of these books had a cisgender female protagonist (or co-protagonist), and every one of these books had a major plot point where that protagonist has a terrible, unhealthy relationship with an obnoxious cisgender guy. Every. Single. Book. And sometimes it was more than one unhealthy relationship, and sometimes it was more than one female character within the book. Like, you're going along reading about these delightful and interesting adventures these fabulous women are having, then -- bam! they run up against some guy not nearly as interesting as they are and not deserving of their time and then they waste a bunch of their life (and the book) all hung up on him. And I was just like: It's the year 2023, and this is STILL what the female narrative looks like? This???? We can't tell other stories about women that don't revolve around what men do to them???

It's not that these books aren't critiquing that part of society (which I understand is still omnipresent all around us). All of the books are very conscious that the relationships are unhealthy and diminishing the woman (except maaaaybe the relationship in T&T&T, but that book also is really mean to its arguably asexual MC and basically implies that he'll never be of importance in his BFF's life because he doesn't want to have sex with her, so the book had other issues, tbh). Not a single one of those books actually, you know, has any apparent repercussions for the guy in question, who just seems to go on and live their life pretty carefree and the woman whose life they stomped all over is barely a second thought, to us the outside observer. And I'm sure that's also very true to how society works. But, all the same, it was striking to me that, even if critical, THIS WAS STILL EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE. EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE WAS ABOUT SELLING HERSELF SHORT FOR SOME GUY. Can we not imagine better for ourselves????

And so, Idk, I do try to put people of other genders in my m/m fics but when it comes to a character like Olivia, and thinking of what her happy ending looked like, I just could not make myself put her with a guy. And you might say: she could have gone with a woman! And yes! She could have! But I think I am craving female narratives that aren't about romantic and sexual love. Because every narrative I read about a woman is alllll about romantic and sexual love. The woman belittles herself to squeeze herself into the box of romantic and sexual love, cutting off all of the interesting parts of herself because she's been told THAT is the end-all-be-all. But I am a believer in all kinds of love, and how all of those kinds of love can give you a good and well-rounded life, and it's silly to pretend that there's only one type of love and that we should pursue it at all costs to our selves.

And then I think, well, gee, that's hypocritical of me, given that ALL I DO IS WRITE STORIES ABOUT ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE. But then it occurred to me that in writing them about two cisgender men, it does feel more like a narrative that needs to be told. Men get so many stories...but they don't often get THESE stories. They don't often get the love story. They don't often pursue their romantic love as if it will fulfill their destiny...because society tells men that their destiny has other shapes and sizes beyond who they sleep with. Maybe, I think, the world needs more narratives about guys who just love, unabashedly and deeply and fulfillingly, and THAT'S the narrative. That's the whole story. Just that. The way it so often is for women.

When I think about Olivia, and even as I sit and struggle my way with Megan in the Regency AU sequel, it's like...I want more for them than that. Like, for so long I grew up with exactly the expectation that Olivia talks about, that I needed to find a husband and that was the most important thing about me. And I watch the younger women I know still get that message. I've got a great career, went to good schools, do interesting stuff, and still a shocking number of people want to know why I'm single. What about everything else I can be????? I have great friends and a great family and I honestly like my life. Who can ask for more than that? Like, isn't the most amazing thing that could happen to Megan, especially in the Regency era, is just that she lives the life she wants??? And maybe that means she gets married and maybe it doesn't but it's cool either way and she has the freedom to choose it!

I don't mean to imply that I don't have internalized misogyny, because who knows lol. I also don't mean to imply that women shouldn't get married!!!! I have many cisgender female friends in very happy and healthy heterosexual relationships!!! It's awesome for them and it works for them and it's cool and I love them and the lives they have built for themselves. Lives come in all shapes and sizes, and that's great. But I finished yet another book with yet another female protagonist in yet another unhealthy relationship for the fifth time this year or whatever and I was just like, No wonder I gave Olivia that speech. No wonder I'm looking for another narrative.