#and he said struggles with that too because he gets so attached and he keeps everything and he doesn't like letting things go and ough.....

[faunandfloraas]

I haven't lived that long yet, but as I've lived, I've collected every nook and cranny, even the things that might have simply passed by, and recorded them in my voice.

Details - SONG by episode 7.

[cupcakedieabetes]

Dumpster Baby Part 1

I AM ON A ROLL, I THOUGHT OF THIS AND LOVED WHAT MY HEAD PRODUCED, SO I DECIDED TO WRITE IT OUT IN WORDS SO I DON’T FORGET IT! This is going to be long so sit back and enjoy.

This story is inspired by this, and I love it. Thanks @emacrow for letting me use your story as an inspo!!!!

Tw: mentions of csa/child trafficking, mentions of child death, child abandonment, neglect, etc

Hector blew out his cigarette, bored out of his mind as he's manning the cash register currently.

There was no customers, so nobody was going to complain if he was smoking in the store, right?

Then, the door to his store opened with a bang. He fingered the gun under his counter, looking towards the door, only to find a young man looking harried, half-naked and bloodied. His shirt in a bundle, and seemed to be originating from there.

"B-B-BABY! I found a baby in the dumpster!" The poor kid stuttered, his face full of tears as he stared horrifiedly.

Hector took one glance and realised the kid was telling the truth. He took a puff of his cigarette, inhaling it slowly before he exhaled it exhaustively.

"Kid, you must be new in Gotham. Dumpster babies aren’t all that rare in Gotham. Gotham's a complete shithole. If you can't even feed yourself, how can you feed another?" Hector told the kid harshly. The kid held the baby tightly.

"B-but.."

"It's reality in Gotham. Go put back the baby where you found it. In a place where child trafficking and prostitution and such are common, it's best to let it die. It's the greatest mercy you can give it."

The kid became eerily calm and quiet. Hector noticed that his hiccups from sobbing had just gone entirely silent. Then his form starts to glitch as if whatever made him keep his form was struggling to retain itself.

"Ņ̴͉͖̄͐̊͐͒̽̆͗́̅̾̈́̾ǫ̵͈̠̱̱̯̹̳̜̓́͊̚t̶̢̛̛̤̰̦̜̙̲̪̺̬̉̇̍̃̏͐̽̂͊͋̕̕ ̵̡̑͑̏i̷̡̢̡̨̛̦͚̱̝͓̰͈̞̭͔͚̇̑͊̏͊͜f̷̡͔̫̭͉̳͖̰͈͒̌͒̽̔̈̔͋̋͐́́̎̓̑͆ ̸̨̢̟͕͕̫̬̱͍̙̻͉̈́́̐͜I̷̛͕̟̻͗̒̂͌̔͆̾̑̃͘͜͠͝ ̴̨̼͉̘͚̹̙̥̟̀̈͌̑̎́͑̓̉̈́͑̆̑͘̚c̴̣͙̖͙͙̜̠̩̟͍͉̤̮͚͖͉̒̉̾̽̈́̀̒͆͊͛̽͐̂̚͘͝͝a̶̲̤̼͒̒͒̔̌̈́̇͌͝n̷̡̙̻̈́̂̀̈̓̀̄̊̐͆͘͠ ̵̨͔̼̤̮̍̌h̶̬̝̫͖͚̰̹̲̮̮̬͓̙͔̆̈̓̅̑͊͐̆̍͌͘͜͜ȩ̷̳͖̹͓̞̬̟̥̼͎̰͇̑̅͑̽̔̅͆͂̑̏͝l̶͚̜͔̮̯̼̝̿͜p̷̳̯̦͓͔̩͕̩͔̈́̀̆́́͑̄̈́̕ ̸̦̏̂̍̉͗͂͗̂͂́̉̚͝ȋ̶̛͕̠̟̦̈́̏̾̾͊͑̂͠t̸̡̡̡̛̼̺͚̜͖̫̼̲̪̫̗̜̓̒̿̾͂́̊̃͜͜.̷̡̛͚̱̫̰͕̳͖͙̾̀̓̓̀̈́̓͑́̾̚͠ͅ "

And without a trace, the kid and the baby disappeared, leaving nothing but the memories.

Hector stared at the place where the kid was once was, putting out his cigarette to rub his face tiredly.

What has he just done?

__________________________________________________________

Danny stared at the baby as he flew back into his hotel room. He had only gone to Gotham because he was initially visiting the Capital Crime City to scout out a new place for Jazz, who was planning to move here for residency at Arkham.

He decided to volunteer to scout ahead bc why would he be scared of crime when he's already dead?

But how did he get to this?

The baby girl mewled in his arms, still red and wrinkled, with their umbilical cord still attached. She was wrapped up in his shirt, having been found naked in a trash bag in a dumpster.

While walking past an alleyway, he heard something in the trash. And something else. So he decided to investigate. He was flying invisibly in ghost form, so there was no way anything would injure him.

So he opened the dumpster lid and saw a suspicious trashbag. In it was a newborn baby girl.

He bawled his eyes right out there bc he couldn't fathom why anyone would just abandon a baby in the dumpster. According to Jazz, multiple baby boxes were scattered across the city, a helpline was available for scared mothers/mothers-to-be, and many other options exist to prevent this.

It was cruel to the baby, but it was also cruel to the mother too. He only realised this according to what the man said. Gotham was a shithole. Who knows if your baby will end up being in the worst position ever, and if you don't have the resources, it's best to kill it to give them mercy. It was the only thing one can do when they're powerless. The best and only gift you could give to your child.

He lay on the bed with the baby sleeping on his chest. He was skin-to-skin with the baby as she was so cold to touch that he raised his own temperature despite the discomfort, as he was naturally cold.

And despite the discomfort, his core purred at having fulfilled his Obsession with Protecting.

She wiggled in his arms, and then a dawning thought of horror came to his mind. She wasn't the only baby that was abandoned, was she?

He carefully got up slowly, ensuring the baby wasn't woken up by the movement. She had a big day today; she should get a lot of sleep.

He placed her on the hotel bed and, for the first time, used his power as King to enact an order.

Protect the abandoned children. If nobody wants them, then he'll take them. One man's trash is another man's treasure, and he shall treat them like they deserve to.

Aw, he would have to get a place for them, wouldn't he?

He gave the baby girl a name to start her new life: Portia.

Then, he found another child who was abandoned by his parents. They neglected and beat him, so wouldn't he be considered abandoned? The boy willingly went when Danny offered Bennett, or Benny, to take him away. He was only 5.

Then the two became four when he found twin children all dirty and covered in dirt, sleeping under a cardboard box as they shared a ratty blanket. Blake and Harper were 10.

He got some Ghosts to help, like Lunch Lady, who loved cooking for those old enough to eat solids. She went all out cooking nutritious food for starving children.

He found a good enough warehouse and took it over from a drug den, which he got rid of. He then began renovating to make it a habitable place for the children.

But sometimes, it felt like he didn't have enough hands to hold them all.

But he was moldable. He could shapeshift into anything he can of his own will.

He grew many hands to carry them. He could hold his new children in his arms.

Four became Eight, then Eight became Thirteen. Thirteen became Twenty.

He wasn't big enough, so he grew and grew. They could all ride on his back together so there would be no fighting.

He didn't have enough eyes, so thinking of how to better observe, his mind suddenly thought of the Observants and how they're basically just eyeballs.

With duplication, he only just duplicates his eyes and lets them float around. Then, he could see e̷̩͈̙̘̗̅̽̾̎̑̉̇̈́͋͋̐͘̕͝v̷̤͙͈̓̂̽ë̸̡̠̩̠̠̟͍̭͙͈̫́̈́ͅr̵̢̨̻̩̰̼̝̞̙̜͙̈́̈́̉̌̾̀͊͊̚y̸̢̧̪̯͕̼̘̗̦͚̙̱̳̙̪͓̍͂̂̽̉̋̀̈́̔̓͝t̶̟̱̽̄́̉̈́̿̍͒̑̓͂͠͝ḩ̴̣̲̬̤͇͍̞̺̥͉̔̓̓̐̄̐̋́͘͜ͅì̴̳̳̭͆͗̈́̒̆̀͒̆̄̕͝͝ņ̸̛͍̳̣̦̲͔̼̝̪̲̗̩̤͋̈̾ͅģ̴̛̼̥̫̰̻͑̑̍͋́͂͌̎̎̈́̈́̏͒͆͠͠.

Despite this form, no children had ever been scared of him. His core would always rumble with protection, so they instinctively knew they were safe with him.

Twenty became Twenty-Three, then Twenty-Seven. Then Thirty-Two.

He loved it. He could make a difference. Even the children who weren't his would come running to him for protection. He would feed them and care for them like his own before sending them off to their parents, who actually cared for them.

He couldn't stop those who stayed before going back out. He did offer to take them in as his children, but some had refused, as they've always been independent.

But at least they would always have a place to go to.

Next ->

[januaryembrs]

TROUBLE ALMOST ALL MY LIFE | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader

Description: The ONE time the BAU needs you + the FOUR times you need them.

word count: 24k (what on earth was I thinking)

trigger warnings: mentions of spencers addictions + use + side affects. MOMMY ISSUES thankyou ambassador Prentiss. hostage scene + injuries. mentions of forced/pressured marriage. fem!reader. reader and Emily struggle to bond.

authors note: We never meet Emily's dad nor do we see a picture so while reader is given a nickname of Bugsy, she still keeps her real name (no use of y/n) and is given ZERO physical descriptors. ALL of my fem!readers should feel included here, let me know if this is not the case! also I don't speak any language besides English however she does speak many because of her mom, so I really tried to get it right, message me if I'm being stupid!!

series masterlist | next chapter

[this] means its spoken in another language.

—

‘trouble on my left, trouble on my right,

I’ve been facing trouble almost all my life’

1. the one where you become a translator.

“I’ll make some calls, I may still have some friends in the Eastern countries,” Ambassador Prentiss announced to the room, standing from her place on the plush sofa. 

A case had landed quite literally in Emily’s lap when her mother had come by that morning asking for Hotch, a Russian migrant looking for her father with a ransom note and a sliced off finger shoved through her mailbox, wedding ring still attached. 

It wasn’t every day Emily wished she’d brushed up on her Russian, but today of all days she was struggling to keep up. 

“We don’t have much time, we need a division of labour,” Hotch’s serious face settled, the time constraints making him just that bit more dictatorial, “Morgan, someone needs to go to the Chernus’s house in Baltimore in case they are contacted again,” 

“What about the language barrier?” Derek raised, smoothing a hand over the short scruff of his beard, “We can’t have the unsub speaking with the family directly. He could say anything to them without us knowing,” 

Bugsy would hate to admit she fit the criteria for youngest daughter of a workaholic mother and distant father to a tea, but Emily would say different. 

Elizabeth Prentiss had never been a warm woman; Emily used to tell her the scowl was a side effect of the overplucking of her eyebrows, not the serious nature of her job. Her youngest girl once said her mother’s lips looked like she’d sucked a lemon. Of course they admired her work, but world peace meant jack shit to a little girl wanting nothing more than a mother’s hug. 

Despite the fact she’d pushed away her husband and both her daughters in favour of her career, the one useful thing about being the Ambassador’s daughter wasn’t just the money, but the widespread culture the girls had been crammed full of since they could so much as beg for a sippy cup. 

“Baltimore, you say?” Emily asked Hotch with a somewhat doubtful wince, “I mean you could always-”

“Absolutely not,” Her mother cut her off, rubbing the stress lines already creasing her forehead at the very notion of her other daughter, despite the fact Emily hadn’t even finished her thought.

Emily’s sigh was a reflex, the years of her mother cutting her off sparking the frustration on instinct. 

“She lives right in the city, Mother, it can’t hurt to have her just talk for them-” Emily tried to bargain, only for the sharp mouthed Ambassador shoot her a frown. 

“End of discussion, Emily,” Elizabeth snipped, her manicured fingernails twitching with annoyance, “Your sister is much too young for an assignment so serious,”

Emily rolled her eyes with a scoff, as if the two had slipped back into the role of rebellious teenager and scathing mother without much thought. 

“She's twenty-two, mom. She’s getting her masters degree for Christ sakes, she’s not ‘too young’,” The dark headed woman fought back, clicking her pen a few times as if the spring loaded ink would take away some of the temper Elizabeth seemed to flare up. 

Her mother’s lips pursed, in the way Bugsy hated, in the way that meant she was going to be mean.

“Immature may have been a better word, then,” She replied, and Emily seemed to pause. She couldn’t argue with that. “Or perhaps lazy, or puerile; callow, wild, irresponsible. Would you like me to name more?” 

“Asinine would be a good term; deriving from the Latin asinus it not only means foolish, but to be stubborn and lazy like an ass,” Spencer input helpfully to the Ambassador, only for his bright smile to fade when he saw the daggers Emily stared at him with, “Sorry, I love word games,” He muttered into his lap. 

“Asinine. Perfect, Dr Reid,” Elizabeth said, and Emily could only roll her eyes harder.

Hotch huffed, the victim’s daughter watching between the two women’s quarrel with wet eyes, the ice box with her father’s finger clenched tightly in her lap, the cold of the limb bleeding into his own gaze.

“Unfortunately, Ambassador Prentiss, despite just how asinine your daughter might be, Morgan is right. Having the Unsub possibly speaking with the family without us understanding what he’s saying could prove fatal,” He explained, ignoring the way the older woman’s mouth scrunched in bitterness. They didn’t need to be profilers to see that despite how tempered the relationship between Emily and her mother was, a tension seemed to fall between the women the moment the younger Prentiss was mentioned. 

Spencer was sure he was the only person who even knew Emily had a little sister. 

“Very well, but don’t be surprised when you find your hands full of the girl,” Elizabeth said with a shake of her head as she led the victims, a mother and daughter that seemed to cling to one another for comfort as if to rub salt in her matriarchal wound, into the break room to get away from the frosty atmosphere that now lingered around the table.

Emily sighed, picking around her fingernails the way she did when she was bothered. 

“I’m going to hate these next words that are gonna come out of my mouth,” She started with a long exhale, “But my mother’s right. Bugsy is a handful. Just try not to get her wound up, that girl smells fear,” She looked to Reid who seemed none the wiser, “I’m talking to you, wonder boy. She’ll eat you up and spit you right back out,” 

Spencer gulped quietly. 

Derek only chuckled, slapping a hand down onto Emily’s shoulder, “Relax, Prentiss. Your mom’s just got you all worried. Need I remind you I grew up with two sisters? This will be a piece of cake,”

–

Those were the famous last words of Derek Morgan. 

Loud, heavy metal music jumped through the wooden door, so loud Morgan worried his three polite knocks would go unheard as the two of them waited outside her dorm for her to answer. Morgan was about to knock again, figuring the music had drowned out the first lot, when the door swung open and a frown the spitting image of Emily’s stressed expression met their gaze. 

She looked so different to their Prentiss, but the way she seemed already scorned by the two of them told them they had the right woman. 

“Miss Prentiss?” Morgan asked formally, though he felt the warmth grow when he caught sight of a beat up friendship bracelet around her wrist amongst newer gold chains, five white blocks spelling out her sister’s name pulling tight on her skin, as if she’d quickly outgrown the thing but hadn’t the heart to remove it. 

It was then that he and Reid seemed to both reel back slightly at the fact she was standing in a large shirt, ratty around the edges, and what seemed to be a pair of men's boxers covering her bottom half, clearly not suspecting particularly important visitors. 

She looked him head to toe with a frown, a dozen piercings in her ears, her hair highlighted with streaks of cardinal red, as if he was the one confronting her in his underwear, before she moved onto Spencer, who’s face seemed to be getting hotter by the second as he forced his eyes away from her bare legs. 

“Are you guys strippers? Did someone send strippers to my door?” She asked, strawberry gum smacking between her lips as her gaze seemed to finish mulling over Spencer’s tall form and returned to Morgan.

“Emily sent us.” Reid said shortly, the music blaring in his ears making it difficult to focus on what it was she was saying, “As co-workers, no-not strippers. We’re with the FBI,” 

He hated loud noises anyway, cringed at the sound of particularly cutting rock songs, but since he’d developed his … problem, the dilaudid had him feeling like someone was clawing at his skull, tugging his brain through his ears.

“Emily sent you here?” She asked with a scoff, looking the two up and down again. They both easily caught the way her face hardened, “Are pigs flying today or something?” 

“We’re here to ask for your help on a case,” Spencer rushed through a sweaty brow, “Emily said you’d be able to act as a translator for us and some Russian citizens who are being targeted,” 

She sighed sceptically, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame, “Any strippers or non-strippers can fraud an ID. Emily’s name was in the paper just the other week. I’m gonna need a little more than that,”

She keeps track of her sister despite the supposed distance between them. Spencer was quick to profile, his mind whirring at all the ways she reminded him of her sister down to the way she raised her eyebrows expectantly at them. 

“Emily was born October twelfth, 1970 at 7:12am, graduated from Garfield High School in 1989,” Spencer said as if reporting the weather, her eyes narrowing in on him all the more coldly, “She attended Chesapeake Bay University and speaks six languages, as I expect you do from moving so often with your mother. She coined your nickname Bugsy from your childhood love of ladybugs, which she said you grew out of by the time you turned eleven yet the name stuck, though you still like counting the spots to identify their species. Your parents split when you were five and your father moved in with his now wife, born September ninth-”

“Alright- alright. What are you, living in her walls?” She interrupted incredulously, before turning her attention to Derek who seemed to hide a chuckle with a cough. “Either you really are a stripper or you’re a terrible friend,”

“She loves Kurt Vonnegut,” Derek held his finger as if to prove her entirely wrong, although not much else came to him. Maybe he was a bad friend, he thought guiltily, or maybe he simply lacked an eidetic memory like the wonder boy next to him, who had been about to tell her how old she was when Emily’s pet betta fish died, “Slaughterhouse 5?”

Rolling her eyes, she grunted at them, kicking her door open for them to enter. 

“Everyone loves Vonnegut; only losers under a rock dislike Vonnegut,” She drawled, edging back into her room, the heavy bass rock growing in volume as they followed her in, “I’ll be ready in a second- Emily’s always bugging me about wearing pants,” She said vaguely, scanning around the dirty dorm, until she found one particular pair of jeans laying half under her bed, quickly yanking them up her legs. “Come in, come in.” 

She flicked the speakers way down to which Spencer took a breath of relief. His eyes fell to the laptop that had been set up on her desk, the five different textbooks littered around the spare space, energy drinks and empty mugs filling the cracks where he could barely see the generic white of the table top, his nose crinkling. About as gross as he’d expect from a college student. 

“Emily said your Russian was pretty good,” Derek made conversation, his eyes wandering over the various posters plastered over her walls, some fraying round the edges from where she had likely been moved from bedroom to bedroom when the Prentiss’s inevitably had to move country again. 

“Yeah,” She snarked, pulling a nicer top over her head, “Kinda tends to happen when you live in Russia,”

Morgan raised his eyebrows to Spencer who seemed to give him the same look back, though the latter was biting back a snicker at her words. 

How in the hell was she the Ambassador’s daughter?

–

“This all involves Russian Mafia, it’s really beefed up here the last ten years or so,” Agent Cramer, a tall, slim man who looked entirely overwhelmed by the workload on his shoulders reported, as she listened intently. 

She had been somewhat de-briefed in the car, Emily messaging her for the first time since Christmas, the message a simple: “Have you met with Morgan and Reid yet? Make sure to put on pants,” to which she sent her a thumbs up emoji. She didn’t have much to say to her at the moment, barely even knew her sister anymore. 

“It started off mainly in New York and LA but they send lieutenants from the old country,” Cramer went on, and she caught Reid scratching his arm beneath his shirt. She knew it was mozzy weather, and he was already under the blaring sun in a little sweater, it wouldn’t surprise her if he felt a bit prickly. 

“Pahkans,” She interrupted, the man named Gideon shooting her a glance as she dug through her purse. 

“Your Mom do much work about the Mafia?” He asked, as she produced a clear nail varnish. 

“Here and there, I had to sit with her in her office for a whole Summer once when I got caught sneaking out. Picked up a few things, though,” She said, holding the polish out to Spencer, nodding to his arm, “Here. Supposed to help bug bites,”

He looked at her as if he wanted to say something, perhaps question her sources for such an old wives tale, but he stopped himself quickly, taking the varnish out of her hand with a dejected nod. 

“Thankyou,” He muttered, shoving it in his pocket. 

Three months he’d been in this rabbit hole. She had noticed it in a matter of hours. 

“They open up branch offices in other cities. Baltimore, Saint Louis, Chicago, Dallas, the list goes on,” Cramer added, nodding at her words, “They’re mainly offshoots of the Odessa Mafia and they’re especially tough to crack from a law enforcement standpoint. I mean beside being well organised with sophisticated technical equipment, there’s Vory v Zakone to contend with,” 

“The thieves code, eighteen principles they live by,” Reid jumped in before she could, to which she nodded as Gideon looked to her for more. 

“It means ‘thief in law’, or ‘thief with code’. It's a system of repeatedly jailed convicts that have been crowned or ‘made’ with a strict list of ideals, breaking them usually means death,” She explained, kicking a stone between her feet. 

“It’s like bible to these guys. We’re not gonna be turning any of them informer anytime soon,” Cramer said. Gideon seemed to tune the three of them out however, his gaze locking on the house across the street, where a curtain twitched, and a man’s face appeared in the window, watching the crime scene with guilt. 

“Then we’ll need a witness who will talk,” Gideon replied, heading straight towards the neighbour who seemed just a little too invested in what was happening, much more than a concerned third party should be. Though, she had barely noticed, digging through her purse once more for chapstick. 

“So, you study Russian or something?” Cramer asked as she applied it gently, Spencer swore he could smell the cherry flavour from where he stood beside her. 

“I lived in Moscow until I was six, moved back to France, then back to Italy, then Algeria for a bit. Bounced around Europe for a bit longer, but I still speak better Russian than anything else,” She clarified, and she saw Cramer’s eyebrows shoot up, “Military brat except I don’t get the cool discount at the store,” 

“You must have had a lot of friends though, going to so many schools,” Spencer added, and though there was nothing teasing about his tone, she laughed sharply anyway. 

“You’re funny,” She snarked, but smiled at him anyway.

Spencer had never been called funny in his life. ‘Funny looking’, ‘funny sounding’ maybe, but never funny. 

In fact he was so confused by what she had meant, whether it had been a taunt or genuine that he almost missed the sound of the whole street locking their front doors, dead bolting their lives away when a black prius, an expensive one at that, pulled through the street and swerved into park next to them. 

“Guess who,” Cramer bit, her eyes ripping away from where Gideon had the door slammed in his face. 

Detective Cramer aged by about five years when two tall men got out of the luxury car, opening the door for a shorter man in the back seat, their faces thunder. 

“You familiar with them?” She asked, shoulder brushing against Spencer as she turned to watch the men approach, entirely aware of the .9mm on each of their hips. 

“Arseny Lysowsky,” The detective identified, his voice cold, eyeing the two men who flanked the leader, towering over them. 

“Agent Cramer, how are you?” Lysowsky smiled at him, which oddly enough seemed somewhat real, as he also took stock of the three other people around him. His eyes lingered on her for a moment, noting her lack of gun and badge, trying to decipher if she was local or just a very unprepared fed. 

“Lysowsky, what brings you out?” Cramer asked, a tightness to his tone, his hand all too eager to grab his own pistol. 

“I heard Chernuses had problems,” He kept it vague, didn’t reveal too much, and looked back at the victim’s house with a scorned frown. 

“How did you hear that?” Gideon challenged, stance unwavering as the mob leader turned to meet his cold gaze. 

“And you are?” He asked, a sinister smile on his face that flipped her stomach. She didn’t like the tension that had overcome the little patch of sidewalk they took up, and she was quick to notice how Spencer moved towards her. 

He, by far, wasn’t the best shot on the team, but he was sure Hotch and Prentiss would have his and Morgan’s heads if any harm came to her. 

“Churneses said they hadn’t told anyone,” Agent Gideon ignored his question, hands firmly planted on his hips. If he was unnerved by the criminal in front of him, he never showed it, not even when Lysowsky’s grin widened horribly. 

“It is a small community. Word gets out,” He said simply, looking past him to the neighbours house that had kicked Gideon to the curb, “Are you a friend of Gorban’s?”

A second of silence passed between them, neither of them backing down from the moral standoff they’d engaged in. 

“Mr Gorban wouldn’t talk to me,” Gideon admitted, and Arseny only smiled again, flicking a look at the house behind him, as if hearing his dog had obeyed without command. 

“Would you like me to talk to him for you?” The threat was there clear as day, clear enough to have Gideon’s eyes narrow, “I can’t promise something will come of it,” 

“You!” In a second, Natalya, the victim she’d briefly met when Morgan had pulled up around an hour before, had stormed out of her house, her black kitten heels clicking against the concrete, “Where’s my father? He has my father!” 

“Wait a minute,” Derek called, restraining her where she stood, trying to pull his muscled arm from her shoulder, “Do you know he has your father?” 

“He’s responsible for all of this,” She spat, her eyes cold as she glared at the three men with vitriol hate, “Why everyone’s afraid, him and his animals,” She threw a hand up to his bodyguards that seemed barely contained by Cramer’s silencing hand. 

“I am only here to help,” Lysowsky replied, confident and calm in his words, though not as taunting as the agents would have thought, as if he truly cared for her.

A vast difference to the sadistic mob boss Cramer’s team had painted him to be. 

“Help?” She laughed woefully, tears in her eyes, “You’re a dog,” 

“Natalya,” Arseny said in a warning, the way a teacher would to a student, as her breath rattled in her chest through a weep. 

“How exactly can you help them?” Bugsy braved to speak, Gideon and Reid both flashing her a look. She’d always had trouble holding her tongue. 

Lysowsky turned his attention to her then, his eyes running down her figure, still deciphering whether she was armed; she looked much too young to be an agent. 

“In any way that they’d like me to, darling,” He replied, the disdain in her frown clearly not deterring him in the slightest, though again the act of concern held up in his own grimace, “As I said this is a small community. If one is in pain, we’re all in pain.”

Natalya weeped behind Morgan, sniffling as the boss made his way over to her, “Natalya, [you didn’t have to bring in outsiders],” 

The younger woman’s ears pricked up as he spoke in his native language, Spencer’s eyes flicking to her from behind his sunglasses. 

“[Let me help you],” He continued, taking a step towards Natalya, unthreatening yet she saw Morgan tense, his fingers twitching towards his gun. 

“[My family will never come to you for help],” Natalya hissed back, also in Russian, her face contorted in disgust, “[Get away from my house],” 

“[You are not right, Natalya],” He replied, yet again the concern in his eyes was either genuine or very well faked, “[You have made the wrong decision],” 

Taking a step away from the victim that wept with a scorned sneer, he looked back to the agents, noting the way the youngest of them glared at him hotly, before retreating to his car. 

“What did he say? Did he threaten you, Natalya?” Morgan asked, the woman watching the group of men drive away, as if Mr Chernus wasn’t still missing and they hadn’t just bumped themselves up to number one of the suspects list. “Talk to us and we can do something about it,”

“He said I made the wrong decision,” She said wetly, frustration turning on Derek as he pushed her for an answer, “I hope I didn’t,” 

With that she stormed off back into her house, the same stomping of her kitten heels in her wake, leaving the agents to all look between one another before they simultaneously turned to look at Bugsy, questions hovering on all of their lips. 

“What did he say exactly?” Gideon asked without frills, a hand rubbing his brow. Relaying the information, the men’s faces all drew into frowns as they heard Lysowsky’s parting statement. Gideon huffed, turning to Morgan and gesturing for him to follow Natalya inside. 

“Morgan, keep an eye on her, Reid and I are going to Cramer’s office to look over the files,” He looked at her then, worry lines littering his otherwise friendly face, damn near scowling as she looked over at him, “You are here to interpret, you understand? You do not speak to the suspects, that’s our job.” He growled, watching her with disappointment, the same tone a father used when scolding a petulant child, “Do you have any idea how much danger you could put yourself in? These guys won’t hesitate to take you out the second we’re not around, kid,” 

“But-” She started with a bite, though her whole fight left her when he silenced her with a raised hand. 

“Buts are for cigarettes, kiddo,” He interrupted, and Spencer winced slightly, knowing he’d heard that one a few hundred times when he’d first started under Gideon and had yet to mature entirely. Reid watched something rebellious flare in her eyes, and he worried for a moment she might just slap his boss for the patronising tone he took, “Just keep your mouth shut, you’re doing great so far,” 

She opened her mouth to protest, only to then register his words entirely and stay silent once more, appreciating his praise with a guilty smile. For once, she listened. 

–

The grandfather clock chimed to tell them it was merely 11am; two hours until the unsub would start cutting more if they didn’t get the ransom fee, two hours to figure out who wanted Natalya’s family to suffer. 

Said woman paced her living room at the sound of the hour, as Bugsy picked over the knick knacks on her fireplace, a small smile teasing her lips when she saw a picture of three small children grinning toothily at the camera. 

She had never gotten any photo’s similar, Emily being fourteen years older. The majority of their childhood photos consisted of a very grumpy teenager holding her baby sister that seemed to squirm in the tight, formal dresses Elizabeth Prentiss had forced them into, identical scowls on their faces as they were made to sit for the picture. 

There were some good memories, ones where Emily let herself be a sister and not a mom, where she would put makeup on her for fun and do her hair, let her have all the clothes out her wardrobe she thought looked nice, reading to her before bed, even letting her sister keep her pet corn snake when she left home for good. 

But now, it seemed like she was too caught up in her super serious grown up job to give a shit that her sister lived just an hour away. Still messaged each other for holidays, but the last few times she’d braved a call to the eldest Prentiss, it had gone unanswered. They argued the majority of the time they spoke, or there was an awkward long silence in between words, whichever was worse, but they each knew the other would come running if they were to ever need them so desperately. 

“Are you hungry? I could make something?” Natalya offered kindly, Derek having a poke through her collection of books that sat on the end table, though he’d have a tough job reading them as she’d already caught most of them were in her home language. 

“Oh, no thanks. I’m fine,” He replied with a small smile, putting down the books to calm the clearly on edge woman that looked to the twenty-something year old hopefully. 

She shook her head, “I’m good, thanks,” which seemed to deflate her entirely as she sat next to Derek with a sigh.

“I guess I’m like my mother. When she’s upset, she cooks,” Natalya said with a sad huff of a laugh, running a hand through her short, dark hair. 

“Yeah, mine does too. I think that’s just a mom thing,” He replied, and Bugsy felt the two of them look at her as her finger traced the old brass ornaments gently, “How about you, baby Prentiss?” 

She snorted, “You’re kidding, right?” smiling bitterly, “My mom never cooked for us, she said we needed to figure it out for ourselves rather than relying on the staff. Didn’t stop her from trying to end world hunger though,” 

It wasn’t lost to Morgan the way her eyes trained on the picture of Natalya and her mother, cuddled together with genuine love in their embrace, the snarky humour as she spoke, the same longing Emily seemed almost too good at hiding from them. 

“Your mother is a great woman,” Natalya complimented, though she missed the way the girl’s face steeled over, chewing her bottom lip as if to stop herself from snapping at the woman who meant well. She said nothing. “Where is your mother?” She turned her attention back to Derek who seemed the more talkative of the two of them. 

“Chicago. That’s where I’m from,” He replied, watching Bugsy turn away from the two of them to inspect more of the Chernus’s trinkets on their walls. 

“I’m from Dolgoprudny. Just North of Moscow.” Natalya replied. Opening her mouth to add something else, she was cut off by a knock at the door and the three of them froze in their place. 

“Are you expecting someone?” Morgan asked Natalya in a hushed tone, reaching for his gun and heading for the door. 

She shook her head, “No,” She whispered back. Morgan pulled the curtain back the smallest inch to see a small blonde boy staring back, a box in his hands and a bored look on his face. 

It all happened too fast from there, Natalya opening the door for the neighbourhood kid, opening the box to see a decapitated ear, the blood fresh and pooling in the bottom of the box. It couldn’t have been taken longer than an hour or so ago, unless they were keeping the parts on ice. 

Bugsy’s hand slapped over her mouth, Natalya’s scream piercing through her as she shoved the box into Derek’s hands, fleeing to the toilet, and she heard the woman retching. Part of her felt the same nausea settle in her stomach, looking away from the body part with a wince as Derek got straight on the phone to Gideon. 

“They didn’t wait, man. They sent a box with-” He swallowed thickly, “With Mr Chernus’s ear inside.”

Gideon replied, and whatever it was, it had Derek looking back to her. He agreed, hanging up the phone and rooting through his pockets, producing a set of rattling keys, holding them out for you between the tips of his fingers. 

“Gideon wants you, kid. He said they’re at the Little Kiev restaurant, they’re going to talk to Lysowsky,” Morgan said, grimacing as he held the ear away from her, “You sure you’ll be okay to drive?” 

“I’d rather be on the road than look at what’s in that box,” She said in disgust, taking the keys and heading out to the car.

She thought it best for everyone she didn’t tell him she hadn’t yet got her licence as she made her way over to the restaurant. 

-

“Reid and I will do the talking, just see if anything he’s saying connects with Vory v zakone, think you got that?” Gideon instructed her the second she got out of the car, taking the keys and handing them back to Reid who gave her a small nod. 

“We think the reason it was Mr Chernus who was targeted has something to do with the code,” Reid explained, his hands in his pockets as the three of them approached the restaurant, “You said earlier you understood the tenants,” 

“Why me, though? I thought I was just translating?” She repeated Gideon’s earlier words, almost cocky that they needed her.

“Lysowsky would feel the need to show face in front of men like Morgan and Cramer, even in front of Natalya since she lives locally. Between the three of us, he had less reputation to uphold, less so with a young woman like yourself,” Reid added, holding the door open for her to go in front. 

And so there she was, trailing behind Gideon and Reid over to where Lysowsky sipped a spoonful of borscht, as she tried not to marvel at the grandeur of the establishment inside. Clearly, Arsney had money to build a place like this, and wasn’t afraid to be flashy about it either, that much was apparent from the other clientele that tended to their beers around their own tables, Rolex watches and designer shoes adorning nearly every one of them. She hated to think of how many ears or fingers those suits had cost. 

“Would you like something to eat?” He asked, a chunk of bread in his hand dipping into the thick sauce, seemingly unbothered that they were there, “This borscht is exquisite, it’s my mother’s old country recipe,” 

“Didn’t you forsake all your relatives when you swore the thieves code?” Reid asked, which she guessed was hit foot in to get Lysowsky to talk. 

“I didn’t forsake her recipes,” Lysowsky replied with a shrug, looking to her where she seemed to be staring at his plate, “Borscht?” 

She shook her head, her nose wrinkling, “Much preferred stroganoff, mom used to force me to have borscht to make sure I ate my veggies,”  

His eyebrows raised, surprise written over his face, before he gave a short laugh. 

“[Where are you from]?” He asked in his mother tongue, gesturing for the three of them to sit down, though his eyes lit up as he watched her carefully. 

“[I was born in DC, but my mother worked in Moscow for a few years],” She answered shortly, and he seemed to find it even funnier that the near child they’d brought along on their case spoke as fluently as he did. 

Laughing with a heavy hand smacking on the table, he gestured to a nearby waiting staff to come over. 

“What are you having then, borscht for the gentle man?” He looked at Reid and Gideon, the former shaking his head while Gideon nodded with an awkward smile. 

“I’d love a taste,” He said, though any enthusiasm seemed to have drained out of his voice. 

“And what is the little lady having?” Lysowsky asked, his eyes falling back to her, as she straightened in her seat. 

She chanced a quick glance to Gideon, who nodded at her to play his game. She had not expected to be so deep in criminal territory when they’d said they needed a translator, and truly they hadn’t planned on getting her in the field until they realised she would know much more about this than they would.

“Do you have sharlotka?” She asked, returning his smile wearily as he clicked at the waiter who all but bolted to the kitchen. 

“A sweet tooth. I like it,” Arseny replied, shovelling a heap of beets into his mouth, “Our favourite was always Leningradsky,”

“Ours?” She prompted, giving a polite thanks to the waiter who returned too quickly with a slice of cake. She caught Spencer glancing at the bowl with intrigue, the hunger clear on the quiet man’s face. Gently pushing the bowl and clean spoon towards him, he flicked a look up at her, “Apple cake,” She whispered, sending him a small smile, “Really yummy with the sugar on top,” 

“Mine and my mother’s,” Arseny replied, though Gideon and Reid both caught how he paused before he replied, as if he had to think about the answer he was giving; the oldest tell that it wasn’t entirely true, “We didn’t have much when I was a boy, but that was always our dessert of choice,” 

She stopped for a mere second, missing the moment when Spencer spooned the tiniest bite of the cake into his mouth, trying to ignore the way his tongue exploded in the sweet, fruit taste. He hadn’t eaten anything properly in days, and maybe that was why it tasted so good, but more likely it was just the fact that everything sweet tasted even better when he was on his come downs. 

“We need to talk, Arseny,” Gideon interrupted, ignoring the way Spencer pined to go back in for a second mouthful, but chose to hand the bowl back to her with a small smile. 

“We are on first name basis?” Lysowsky asked, shaking his head, and she took a small bite of the sweet cake for herself, “I still don’t even know who you are,” 

“I think I understand something about this,” Gideon replied, his thumbs tapping together, the waiter returning with his borscht, “You have a problem,” 

“I do?” The pahkan titled his head at the agent, the annoyance clear on his face. 

“That’s why you came to the Chernus’ house this morning,” Gideon answered, unbothered as he began to scoop the borscht onto the spoon, the apple cake in her own mouth going down a treat. 

She kept her head down, took tiny bites of the dessert that certainly tasted like a fresh baked sharlotka. But her thoughts lingered on what Lysowsky had said, about his own favourite pudding. 

It made no sense that he would have ever tasted Leningradsky shortbread, not for the time that he was born, nor with the amount of money he claimed his family lacked. Infact, the way he fully pronounced his vowels, the akanye, the stress he put on certain parts of his words, all pointed to the same dialect you’d heard back in Moscow, more central than anything else. 

So how on earth would he have eaten the so-called ‘Royal Cake’ that had only been made eight hours from there, in the town it grew its name from. 

There was something glaringly obvious about his story missing. 

“A man like me?” She tuned back into the conversation, swallowing another mouthful down as Gideon took another bite himself, though it seemed the topic had turned sour as Arseny wiped his mouth with the corner of his napkin. 

“Four watchtowers and a convict signifies a stay in prison,” Spencer cut in, nodding towards the tattoos branded across his knuckles, “Each one of those crosses symbolises an individual sentence,” 

“Twenty three years in prison in the Ural mountains,” 

But she was still stuck on what it was she was missing. It had been such an odd thing to lie about, particularly when he’d even admitted himself that they hadn’t had much money, so he clearly hadn’t been lying to fake a reputation. 

So why lie?

She was ripped out of her stumped silence when Natalya entered the restaurant, her voice grabbing the men’s attention immediately. 

“Mr Lysowsky. You said you could help me,” She said, her purse over her shoulder and her own car keys gripped tightly in her hand as if she’d all but thrown herself out the vehicle to get there faster. 

“Don’t you already have help,” Lysowsky snapped, clearly Gideon had dug under his skin enough to garner a reaction. 

“I made a mistake,” Natalya replied, barely meeting Bugsy’s gaze as she stared at her from her seat at the table. “I talked to my father on the phone,” 

The girl frowned at her, “That’s a lie,” It came out before she could hold herself, brows furrowed at whatever it was she was trying to pull. Gideon said her name in a reprimand, though he too was looking at the woman as if she’d grown a second head. 

“Thankyou for coming, but I don’t need your help,” The woman met her confused look with a saddened expression, nodding to her solemnly. 

Leave it alone, she seemed to be saying, there’s nothing more I want you to do. 

And with that, the two of them left the restaurant, Natalya walking by his side obediently, her purse tucked in close under her arm, as Morgan and Cramer filed in from the parking lot, watching their only leads drive away without a fight. 

–

The team were quick to head back to Natalya’s home, only to find the ear missing and the finger gone too, the only evidence left of any crime being committed leaving with the victim’s daughter herself. 

“She’s not here, and the garbage was never taken out,” Morgan said with a grimace as he walked down the front steps to meet the four of them on the sidewalk. 

“Her dad just went missing, surely we can cut the girl some slack-” Bugsy words were hidden in a huff, rolling your eyes at the man who cut a glance to her. 

“No, no. When Hotch first talked to us, he said she noticed her father’s car in the driveway when she took the garbage out,” Morgan explained, his shades blocking the way the cogs turned behind his dark eyes. 

“Right?” Reid asked, his own sunglasses now covering his eyes that winced at the brightness, surrounding them.

“Garbage can in the kitchen is completely full, she never took it out.” 

“She lied,” Gideon said with finality, the penny beginning to drop for him too. 

“She could be half way back to Dolgo-whatever by now,” Morgan scoffed, his arms smacking against his side as the lightbulb went off over her head, the final puzzle piece falling into place. 

“Dolgoprudny?” Spencer asked, exchanging a glance with Cramer, “Isn’t that where Lysowsky’s from-”

“Yes, YES, of course!” She exclaimed, grabbing onto Spencer’s arm as he spoke. 

He looked at her with wide eyes, not that she could see since his shades blocked the way, only to feel her shake him harder in the midst of her enthusiasm. Part of him wanted to rip his arm out of her grip, waiting for the sickness to crawl up his throat at a strangers germs touching him, but the oddest part of him reasoned she had the same germs as Emily did, that the fifty percent DNA the women shared negated the fact she was a stranger, just as it did when he met Jack. Jack had Hotch germs. Bugsy had Emily’s. He didn’t feel so sick thinking of it like that. 

“I knew I was missing something,” She said, turning to Gideon, “He was lying before, about his favourite dessert. There was no way he could have had Leningradsky with his mother. Given his age, at that time in Soviet Russia, shortbread was incredibly expensive, only extremely wealthy families could have eaten it. That, and given the Central dialect he speaks in, I’d pinpointed he lives somewhere near or around Moscow, which means there was no way he was eating that cake considering it was only ever baked in one shop at first, one way up in Leningrad, where St Petersburg is now, like nine hours away from Moscow-” 

“What’s your point?” Cramer asked, tired of the somewhat slew of thoughts she’d been saving until she knew for sure what she meant. 

“Before when he said it was ‘our favourite’, I don’t think he was talking about him and his mother,” She explained, looking to see if Spencer at least understood what she was getting at. 

“It was him and his own child…” Spencer finished, as Morgan’s phone began ringing.

“Yeah, what?” He asked, the frustration clear in his tone that they were all still without the evidence needed to pin it on Lysowsky, “You’re sure? Uh-huh. Okay, thanks doll,” 

The four of them looked at him expectantly as he nodded to her, “Garcia just got into the bank’s system, somebody wired 500 thousand dollars into the account ten minutes ago,”

“Who wired it?” Spencer asked, though he was still reeling from the way she’d touched him, the way her voice went up about five octaves and a dozen decibels.

“She didn’t say, but the name on the account is Lyov Fulenko. She says that’s Lysowsky’s wife’s maiden name. Fulenko.” Morgan replied, and her brows furrowed. 

“Why did she bring us into this?” Gideon asked, though the solemn look on his face said he already knew, “Because she needed to put pressure on the other victim,” 

Gideon headed towards Mr Gorban’s house once more, though it was clear he had already sketched out in his head who was their unsub and Natalya’s involvement, he simply needed the confirmation. 

Morgan clapped a hand on her back, “Nice job, baby Prentiss. Those were some mean profiling skills out there,”

She frowned at him, scoffing,  “I’m not a profiler, that’s Emily’s job. It was just basic linguistics really; more a display of how I need to lay off cake for a while.”

The man kissed his teeth with a grin, “Don’t put yourself down. What’s your degree even in?”

She shrugged, picking under her nails for something to do, “Individualised genomics and health.” She said as if it were child’s play, though Spencer’s head shot to her. 

“Biotechnology?” He asked, and she glanced at him with a nod, “What’s your thesis on?” 

Gideon had returned by the time he’s asked, and began corralling the two of them back to the car, “We’re heading back to the restaurant. We need to speak with Lysowsky again,” 

But it had fallen on deaf ears as Spencer looked at her expectantly. 

“Just some new research into prenatal screening, nothing too fun,” She simpered, climbing into the back seat as he nodded with her. 

“I read a fascinating paper on the uses of hCG in a woman’s body-” 

“Reid,” Gideon cut him off with a short glance from the front seat, “Continue this conversation once we’ve found Mr Chernus alive,” 

Spencer blushed, feeling like a kid caught in the cookie jar, “Sorry, sir,” He looked over at her, only to see her hiding a smile to herself. 

He thinks it was then he’d decided Emily had been wrong about her.

-

“You paid the ransom already,” Gideon said plainly, the four of them trailing behind him as he followed Lysowsky to a small seating area in the front of the restaurant. She could tell the whole way Spencer had been itching to ask her more questions about her paper, barely contained as his fingers had twitched in his lap, but he seemed to straighten himself out once she’d reached the restaurant, “You paid all the ransoms,”

“Sit,” The boss ordered, barely glancing at them as he held his strong whiskey up.

“Are they going to kill Mr Chernus?” Morgan asked, cutting to the chase as Lysowsky spared him a bored glance.

“No,” He replied shortly, the look on his face about as grumpy as when they’d left. 

“The account is in the name of Lyov Fulenko. Lyov is a man’s name.” Spencer input, crossing his arms as the boss glared at him, “A son’s name. Vory v Zakone. Never have a family of your own. No wife. No children.”

“Lyov,” He looked at her then, gesturing to her with the glass of strong liquor, “You know what it means?”

“The Lion,” She replied gravely, steeling herself against his dark eyes. 

“No one else would be so stupid,” Lysowsky ran a hand over his weathered face, swigging his drink as if it was the only thing keeping him talking. “At first it didn’t mean much. It was a way of letting him earn his own money. I could afford it, it came from the fund. And no one questions the use of the fund-”

“Where is he?” Gideon asked, his elbows on his knees as he leaned in.

“What else could I do?” He was ignored, “I couldn’t admit I wasn’t blessing the kidnappings, I couldn’t even admit my son existed.” He huffed when he saw Gideon’s face unmoving from the glower, his question still unanswered, “Chernus will be home in a few minutes. You should be there, he will need medical attention,” He shooed them away, with his final words, drink sloshing in his hand. His face darkened, impossibly so, and the five of them looked at him, something sad and remorseful shining back. 

“What are you gonna do?” She asked, though she had a feeling she already knew the answer. 

“Vory v Zakone.” He said heavily, nodding to her, “We take care of our own troubles.”

It was a silent journey back to the Chernus’ house. 

-

Morgan and Reid pulled up to the campus, the younger girl in the back seat almost dozing off with the rhythmic hum of the engine, the evening sun much nicer on Spencer’s sensitive eyes. 

“This is you, baby Prentiss,” Derek’s voice jolted her out of the half sleep she was in, straightening herself from where she had her head pressed against the window. 

“Thanks,” She muttered, rubbing her eyes and unbuckling herself as they did the same, assuming they wanted to walk her back to her dorm since it had gotten dark, “I’ll be okay on my own, campus security should be out by now,”

“You sure?” Reid asked, flicking his watch up to his eyes to see the meagre 6:13pm staring back at him, “I thought they started at 7,”

She blinked at him, her eyebrows quirking for a moment, “How do you know that?”

“Johns Hopkins was my backup option- well actually it was my third, I much preferred Caltech’s curriculum, Yale was my second-” He started, flicking a glance to her where she waited for him to finish, “Not that Johns was bad, there were just better- alternative options out there-” 

“Don’t shit your pants, I’m hardly the dean of the university,” She chuckled indignantly patting them both on the shoulder before sliding over to open the door, “Nice meeting you both, I’ll just get back to my mediocre college with my poor curriculum, nothing like the solid gold bathrooms at Caltech-”

“I never said that!” She laughed again, with her whole chest, at his defensive tone as she stepped out the car, hand on the door to shut it behind her. 

Leaning down to give them both a wave goodbye, Derek’s voice stopped her again, “Baby Prentiss, do us all a favour and enrol yourself into forensics, we need more people on our team,”

Smirking at him, she shook her head, “Very funny. Never gonna happen. I like my little slides and samples, thankyou,” 

Slamming the door on the two of them she headed for the front gates, swinging her purse over her shoulder. She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder, and she quickly realised she’d been too tired to even realise a set of footsteps jogging after her. 

Maybe she should have taken that walk home after all. 

Whirling around, her eyes widened as Spencer had clearly not been leader of the track team as he was half out of breath just from the few feet he’d covered, though she reckoned she could have guessed that seeing his lean ribs beneath his shirt.

He shoved a business card in her face as he caught his breath, though it was more just his name and credentials followed by a phone number. 

“I-I don’t have email otherwise I would-” He huffed, scratching his forehead as she frowned and looked at him.

“I’ve never been hit on via business card before,” She bit her lip with a smile, reading over the card again as he choked on his words even more than before.

“N-no, I-” He spluttered, ignoring the way Morgan beeped the horn for him, seemingly in a debate with a ticket metre that had caught him parked on yellow, “If you needed us for anything, or if you needed a second pair of eyes for your thesis, I’m happy to help,”

“You don’t have faith in the dummy that got into Johns?” She asked, and his head couldn’t shake fast enough, though he seemed to catch her teasing and shared her smile, “Thanks, Dr Reid,” 

“Spencer’s just fine,” He said, giving her a small nod and a wave as Morgan’s palm bounced on the horn a dozen times. She flashed him one more smile, pocketing his number and heading back to her dorm, wondering what the doctor would think about the paper due in tomorrow she’d yet to get started on.

+1. The one where you get arrested.

The case had been heavy. They’d felt it in the car on the way back to headquarters. A little girl, molested and groomed by her own uncle, his own wife covering for him. 

His mother always told him love makes you do crazy things, but Spencer hoped that whatever part of him worth loving would at least stay sane by the time he found the one. He was loyal to his team, to his mother, but that was where he drew the line. He was loyal to his family, undoubtedly so. 

Yet so was Emily. 

The call came to the second SUV, her phone set up to hands free mode, quickly flicking to answer the call on speaker, the other half of the team ahead of them on the freeway. 

“Prentiss, speaking. Who is this?” She spoke clearly to the unknown number, her knuckles going white at the wheel when she heard a nervous laugh.

“It’s me,” Her sister mumbled through the speaker, “You wouldn’t by any chance be near DC would you?” 

She huffed, cursing the knack Prentiss women had for showing up at the worst times. 

“Can’t this wait, I’m on the clock,” Emily hissed, her finger edging towards the ‘End Call’ button, “I’ll call you after,”

“Wait, wait, don’t hang up!” As if sensing her movements, she all but screeched, “This was my one phone call, they won’t let me have another,” 

The car went silent for a moment, Spencer’s eyes narrowing on the dash from his place in the passenger seat, JJ also leaning forward from the back with a frown. 

Emily grit her teeth, her upper lip twitching the way it did when she was mad. 

“What do you mean by one phone call? Where are you?” She bit in a cautious tone, though knowing how reckless Bugsy tended to be, she had a pretty good idea. 

The hesitation on the other end of the line was palpable, as was the way she awkwardly cleared her throat. 

“Fairfax County Jail,” She murmured sheepishly, “But it wasn’t my fault, these assholes don’t know what they’re talking about, I swear-”

“Stay there and keep your mouth shut,” Emily ordered, her expression furrowing into a sneer, “And for the love of god don’t antagonise the officers,” 

The agent didn’t even wait for a response, knowing it would probably be something snarky, her mind already racing at what the hell her sister could have done this time, every worst possible explanation jumping to the forefront. 

“I’ll call Hotch and tell him to turn around,” JJ offered, her fingers already searching her contacts for their boss, as Emily sighed through her nose. 

“Tell him not to worry, I’ll drop you guys back to headquarters, make my way there myself,” She said, picking the skin of her nail softly with her thumb. 

“By the time we’ve reached Quantico, visiting times will be over and she’ll have to stay the night,” Spencer pointed out, his own surprise evident. Sure, she had certainly been a personality when they had met, but a criminal seemed a stretch. 

“Maybe it would teach her a lesson,” Emily mused, shaking her head to herself, “Who am I kidding, that psycho would Shawshank her way out of there by dawn,”

“You don’t actually think she would hurt anyone do you?” JJ said, the dial tone ringing out from the phone she held to her ear. 

“Wouldn’t put it past her. She once cut a girl's pigtail off for wearing the same dress as her on her birthday,” Emily winced as Spencer’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. 

“I thought getting swirlied was bad,” He muttered, watching out the window as Emily made a U-turn at the traffic lights. He and the now twenty three year old had been bouncing research papers back and forth for a few months, the odd one every week, Bugsy even once joking it was much more interesting and riveting than foreplay, which had his face red hot at his desk.

She was like that, he’d quickly realised, had a vulgar sort of humour about her, yet he couldn’t help the snigger that came out whenever he’d receive one of his papers back through the mail with pink writing scrawled all over his ideas. The little hearts that dotted her exclamations whenever she wrote “AMAZING!”, the odd time she’d written “sexy ideas, doctor Reid” which he’d come to understand meant it was really good. He’d even gotten back the drawing at the end of the paper of a stickman of the two of them, his hair a curly scribble and a purple tie which told him immediately who was who, her line of a hand pointing at his caricature with the speech bubble, “everyone point and wave at the smart man,” which had made him laugh. 

She was odd, toeing the line between childish and witty, nothing like the scholars he usually worked with, and the writing he usually sent back on her papers were all in standard black ink, his own pharmacist handwriting staring back at him as he crammed in his every thought of her research into the margins. If she couldn’t read it, she hadn’t said, but he liked to think she took notice of it all, even if it wasn’t strewn with stars and doodles and the occasional flirt he knew meant nothing. He knew her from her writing, knew her from her ideas that sometimes kept him up at night thinking more about them, but the two of them hadn’t spoken directly, most certainty hadn’t seen one another since that day with the Chernus’.

Emily hummed, fingers drumming on the wheel, entirely unaware of the thoughts rattling around in Spencer’s head, then again that’s how it always was, “I just pray to god she’s listened to me for once in her damn life and keeps quiet,”

-

“Fucking bitch. The nuns in Moscow hit harder than you,” She spat, blood dribbling from her split lip. She wasn’t entirely lying, but god did her mouth sing with pain as she tried to muffle a moan. 

“You got jokes, pig lover?” The other woman asked, a tattoo covering half her cheek, her nose crooked from the shiner the Prentiss girl had already given her. “Won’t be fucking laughing when I’m done, bitch,” The woman was quick to tackle the girl around her stomach, slamming her into the hard concrete of the holding cell. Bugsy felt her skull rattle, the wind whooshing from her chest as rough hands grab her shirt and pin her down harder. 

The younger girl reached the nerve under her opponent's armpit, the soft of her ribs, twisting until the woman gave a bark of shock, and she took the opportunity to shove her off, climbing on top of her as they both scrambled for some sort of control.

“I got one for you. What’s got a broken nose, a black eye and doesn’t know what’s good for her?” She swung twice as hard, the other women in the cell rattling against the bars as if watching a matador taunt a bull, the air thick with excitement as the two of them cursed eachother out.

Emily’s sigh was audible across the room as the wardens separated the cat fight, the largest of the officers all but grabbing her sister by the scruff of the neck like a feral beast, dragging her over with stubborn feet to where the BAU stood in the lobby, eyes widened at the state of her. 

“You better start acting your age, little girl. Mommy’s not gonna be around forever to save you,” The officer hissed in her ear, manhandling her over to where Emily glared daggers into the side of her head. She knew that look, it was eerily similar to mom’s that time she’d been caught sneaking out of the house, something in the warm brown of Emily’s eyes frosting over into a cold blackness. Fury. 

She chewed her words for a moment, waiting until the man had turned around with a grunt of acknowledgement to the badge Emily had flashed to get his attention, before she spoke. 

“She’s not my mom, she's my sister, dumbass-” Emily slapped a hand over her mouth, gripping her shoulder with the bear-like strength her jagged nails possessed when she was mad, the scoff of disgrace leaving her mouth as her team trailed behind the two of them. 

“What the hell happened, baby Prentiss?” Morgan asked, ignoring the way Emily’s heated gaze turned on him, “What’s got you so worked up?”

“Don’t entertain her, Morgan,” Emily seethed, all but shoving her into the back of the SUV. She looked up at her sister with an open mouth, the guilt flashing in her eyes as she wavered under the pointing finger Emily jabbed in her face, “Don't you even dare,” 

“But-” She stammered, cut off when she saw the glare intensified, if that had even been possible. 

“I don’t want to hear another word from you for the rest of the day unless you’re prepared to give me a good explanation why I’ve dragged my team out here to save your sorry ass,” Emily hissed, and the girl’s mouth bobbed a few times, feeling the rest of the team watching as she got thoroughly chewed out. 

“Wait-” Emily’s hand lingered at the car door, ready to slam it in her face as she rubbed her cuff over her chin, mopping up the damage. Her head tilted for a moment, hoping her sister had something good to say, only for it to be; “He just called you old, I hope you realise that,”

Emily’s gaze darkened, slamming the door shut with an anger she imagined her mother had kept warm for the past twenty three years, whirling around heatedly when she heard a snigger from one Derek Morgan. 

“Damn, mama, hear the girl out.” He said, slapping a hand on the woman’s shoulder as he passed, heading back to their own SUV, “Maybe she’ll surprise you,” 

If Emily was going to bite anything back, she didn’t. Instead she ran a hand over her brow, the group disbanding to their cars now the problem child had been picked up from daycare, except for Hotch who watched the older Prentiss with a scowl, despite the worry in his eyes. 

“Hotch, I’m so sorry, just take it off my timecard, I’ll cover all the costs,” She said shakily, her own frown adorning her face as she felt herself blush from embarrassment under her boss’s gaze. 

“I understand she’s your sister, but this was a gross misuse of agent time and resources, Prentiss,” He said, his gaze drifting to where Spencer sat next to the girl, pulling a packet of tissues and hand sanitizer out of his satchel while JJ rooted through her own purse for a plaster, “Don’t let it happen again,” 

Emily nodded vehemently, flushed with anger, her palms sticky as she wiped them on her jeans. 

“Absolutely sir. Believe me, this ever happens again, she’s on her own,” She replied, though they both knew she didn’t mean it. Emily would never. 

He nodded stonily, deciding quickly that it was punishment enough that she felt so ashamed, he knew from his years of arguments with Sean what it was like to have a sibling stray so far. 

“We can fill out reports in the morning, just get Reid and JJ home,” Hotch said, putting a tentative hand on her shoulder as he passed her to head towards his own vehicle, “And try not to kill each other in the company car. It doesn’t look good on paperwork,” 

She beat off the smile on her lips as she got back into the driver's seat, the air that engulfed the four of them foul as she glared over her shoulder and into the back. Spencer twitched in his seat uncomfortably, his hand still passing over tissues to the bloodied girl. 

“So, you gonna tell me what that was about?” Emily asked, her tone brittle and warning, not in the mood for any snarky response she could give, “Or is this old lady going to have to lay into you some more,” 

The smell of strong ethanol engulfed her nose as she held the soaked tissue to her face, frowning into her lap silently and avoiding the burning stare as Emily stuck the keys in the ignition and started the car.

“Let’s start with why you were there,” JJ input, the same tone of voice she used as when talking to victims, calm and motherly, unlike the pissed off snarl Emily gave, “You wanna tell us why you were arrested?”

“You two really gonna pull the good cop, bad cop on me?” She snapped, her lip swelling around the wound, tongue grazing it softly despite the heavy taste of the sanitizer.

Emily said her name in a warning, her last warning, and she knew better than to push her luck even more, the SUV pulling out of the station and onto the road. 

“I was just shopping for groceries,” She started, fiddling with the bloodied tissue, wincing under her tongue stroke, “Store clerk made a pass at me, I told him I wasn’t interested. So he put a pack of smokes in my handbag while I wasn’t looking; the alarms went off. I didn’t even know what was happening until security grabbed me at the door,” 

JJ flashed a glance at Emily, like two parents deciding an appropriate punishment, the brunette’s lips straightening out into a line. 

“You’re telling the truth?” She asked cautiously, glancing in the rear view mirror to see how her sister balled the mess of paper between her palms. 

Rolling her eyes, she gladly accepted the other packet of tissues Spencer slid over the leather seat between them. 

“I went out for milk and oranges, I was not looking to get picked up, Em,” She bit back, groaning when she felt it jostle the cut, “And certainly not for cigarettes, you know I only smoke on New Years,” 

Spencer looked at her with a frown, and she caught his confusion quickly, pulling another leaf of paper from the packet. 

“Emily and I had a rule after she caught me smoking when I was like fourteen, that we could have one cigarette between the two of us on New Years eve,” She explained, JJ also perking up to hear it, “So that by the time morning came around, it would be last year’s mistake, and it would be like it never happened,” 

JJ smiled to herself, remembering the time she caught Roz sneaking one of her dad’s cigarettes on the back porch back when she was just ten. She remembered the little secrets the two of them kept back then, held them even all these years later. 

“So how did that lead to, well,” JJ gestured to her lip, “That,” 

“Yeah, didn’t I specifically tell you to not antagonise anyone?” Emily chimed in, signalling she was changing lanes as they headed down the freeway for a second time that day.

“Technically you said not to antagonise the officers,” She pointed out, before Spencer had the chance to, shutting his mouth as he caught the glare Emily shot through the mirror.

“Keep talking,” The older Prentiss ordered, as Bugsy sighed and blotted her lip some more. 

“That woman, Mira I think her name was, anyway, she recognised me from that picture mom had us take on Independence Day, the one they put in The Hill, and she asked me if it was true my sister was a fed,” 

Emily’s fingers twitched at the wheel, knowing the status agents and even people associated with agents held in prisons; knowing just being a Prentiss in a jail cell held a big, dazzling price over her head that said ‘kill me, kill me!”

The air sucked out of the car, a look passing between JJ and Reid as they thought the same thing, waiting for her to go on. 

“So then you hit her?” Emily guessed, the bitterness slowly ebbing as she understood maybe her sister wasn’t as unruly as she thought. 

“No, I told her to leave me the fuck alone, but she said you guys sent her brother down for something a while back, and she asked again if my family were all Pigs,” She picked her nails, the blood stain on her sleeve staring back at her, “I told her if she didn’t stop calling you a Pig, I’d make her squeal like one. And then I hit her,” 

Emily tried to pretend she didn’t smile hearing that, her cheeks tightening, lips pulling down as she fended it off. 

“Is that good enough, officers, or will you be needing fingerprints?” The girl chimed after a moment, a weight seemingly lifted from the car as Emily quickly realised she had, for once, not been entirely at fault. 

“I want a handwritten apology to my boss for wasting his time,” Emily demanded, her unforgiving gaze softening when she saw her smile, “And you owe my team coffee,”

“I can do coffee, coffee coming right up,” She agreed, shoving the used tissues into her purse with a crooked smile, “It’s a date,”

Spencers ears turned red, looking over the seat at where she dabbed at her lip gently. She didn’t look much older for six months, but she had gotten her nose pierced since the last time he’d seen her, unless he just hadn’t noticed it before, and the streaks of red were slowly fading out into a blush pink that said it was old, and he wondered if she’d done it herself in that tiny little cubicle bathroom of hers she shared with the four other girls in her block. 

“You finished your stats papers yet?” He made polite conversation, though part of him was dying to know out of curiosity if she could crunch numbers and equations as well as she could in her own labs. 

“Got two more this week, they’re kicking my ass man,” She replied with a huff, and he didn’t think he’d ever been called ‘man’ by a woman before. He knew if he’d known her in college, ignoring the fact he would have been twelve, he would have thought she may just be the coolest person alive, “I miss my labs with my microscopes and watching all the little baby cells move around in the ethanol. Stats are like, just not sexy,” 

He smiled at her as she stared out the window, unaware of the way she’d managed to make DNA sound like a play pen full of kittens. He held off from telling her he found stats really quite sexy, knowing it would never sound the same coming from his mouth.

He pulled a leaf of the tissues from the packet, producing his own pen from his pocket and began doodling carefully so as not to rip the delicate canvas. 

Sliding it over to her after five minutes as Emily and JJ made conversation in the front seat, she didn’t care that the grin tugged on her split lip, the reaction was instant, she couldn’t stop it if she tried. 

Two stick men stared back at her, her hair a close match in texture and a childish triangle drawn as means of a dress, a very tall stick figure next to her patting her metaphorical head, a speech bubble coming from his mouth. 

“Maths is fun!” It said, and she flicked a glance at him, her smile the most genuine he’d seen yet. He just smiled back. 

+2. The one where you graduate

Emily felt the looks on her the moment JJ had mentioned Maryland. The case was a little under their pay grade, nothing more than a stalker, no bodies or bloodshed, but one very rattled woman that had turned to the communications liaison with fear for her life. 

With Hotch and Rossi in Boston helping a case of their own, the rest of the BAU had been twiddling their thumbs waiting for something to come across their desk. 

“This case is in my hands now, and if we do nothing and something happens to her,” JJ took a heavy breath, her eyes lingering on the three names Keri had given her in case of her untimely death, “I’ll be the one notifying her family,”

Derek, despite his own hesitations about using their time for a case like this, caved the moment he saw the guilt on the blonde’s face. 

“Okay,” He shuffled the papers into a pile, Emily and Spencer gathering their own resources on the case and standing from the round table. 

Luckily, one government SUV was more than enough to carry the four of them for the hour drive North, all of them well aware Hotch would flip if they used more funds than necessary.

JJ piled into the front beside where Morgan climbed into the driver’s seat, leaving Emily next to a particularly fidgety Reid. It took all of fifteen minutes of the man flicking a glance at her, his mouth quirking as if he were about to use it, before he thought better and looked out the window, and the whole thing would start again. 

Derek, the less shy about his thoughts of the two men, even glanced at her through the rear view mirror, before he too returned his gaze out the window silently. JJ shifted in her seat, knowing she had to tread carefully around mentioning Bugsy to Emily, particularly after the last time they’d seen her. Emily had said they’d grabbed coffee once or twice since then, but that was all she spoke about it, which left her team walking cracked eggshells at the thought of bringing her up. 

It seemed the three of them were bursting at the seams with the same thought, and it wasn’t until Reid cleared his voice, his puppy eyes stuck in his loop, that she had had enough. 

“Does anyone here have something to say?” Emily huffed, Derek immediately reaching to turn the radio up the same time that JJ flicked the AC on for something to do. Realising they weren’t easily broken, she turned to Spencer who already looked slightly guilty, thumbing at his sweater, “Reid?”

“Did you want to see your sister?” He asked without hesitation, as if the words had fallen out of him, “You know, since we’re so close on this case. It would be a good excuse to-”

“You did say she owed us a coffee,” JJ pointed out, spurred on by Spencer’s nerves, “Wouldn’t mind cashing in if we’re coming all this way.”

“Morgan, do you have anything to add?” Emily asked with raised brows, though she already knew what was coming.

Derek chewed over his thoughts a second, “I’m just saying, you only get to see your baby sisters grow up once- you know, and it couldn’t hurt to see her even if she runs rings around you with that smart mouth-”

“Shouldn’t we be focusing on the case?” Emily cut him off incredulously, but received three knowing looks back. She met JJ’s gaze where the woman had swivelled in her seat to talk to her, and Prentiss was fast to catch the buried grief in her best friend’s eyes. She knew it pained her to even bring up sisterhood, let alone watch Emily throw hers away for the sake of a decade and a half between them. It was the desperation in JJ’s face that did it, knowing she would give anything to spend just an hour with Roz one more time, that had her drawing her cell out her pocket and calling the contact with the little ladybug next to it, “Fine,”

As a profiler she would have been tempted to ignore the way Spencer smiled into his lap; as a sister, her eyes narrowed at him.

The phone rang surprisingly only once before she answered, and she heard an unnaturally tame version of her sister answer.

“Emily?” She asked, her voice hushed, worried almost, “You okay?”

Her brows furrowed, “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” She got no more than a hum in return, somewhat agreeing though Emily could tell clear as day she was holding something back. “Look, we’re gonna be in Silver Spring, I was thinking tomorrow we could grab lunch-” 

“Can’t, I’m busy, it’s an all day thing,” Her sister cut her off, yet it wasn’t rude or demeaning like usual. Nervous almost, sad, “Sorry,”

“What’s an all day thing?” Emily asked, the concern matching her words. 

Her sister swallowed on the other end of the phone, before she found her words, or maybe even the balls to actually speak, “I’m graduating tomorrow,”

Emily’s face lit up, the smile spreading fast on her face, ignoring the way Morgan’s words seemed to ring true in her ears; she was growing up too fast. 

“Graduating, why didn’t you say!” She asked, the joy in her tone unmissable, “How’d your papers go?”

Spencer held himself off from correcting her that she’d only done five papers, that the rest of her results had come from theory and labs, thinking better than to interrupt the one conversation they’d had where there was no underlying argument brewing. 

“Full honours, obviously.” Bugsy drawled with a snicker, and Emily shook her head, the smile never dimming. 

“Look at you, y’little superstar,” Emily bit her lip, ignoring the guilt that tore at her when she realised she barely knew what Bug spent her days doing, “Did Mom and Dad get good seats? Oh god, dad’s not bringing Stephanie is he?”

The silence on the other end had her halting, the light in the conversation wavering for a second, before she understood the nerves, the quick defence her sister had been on the moment the call had been answered. 

“Bug-”

“They’re not coming,” Her heart ached in her chest hearing it, “I sent Mom the details, she said she’s in Ukraine this week settling some papers. Didn’t even get a chance to ask Dad before he and Stephanie were off on their fifth honeymoon in the Bahamas until October,” A painful laugh echoed down the line, as if she were holding back the gravity of the situation. 

“Bug,” Emily tried again, picking her thumb viciously, punishingly, hating herself for being so blind to her sister’s troubles, “Why didn’t you invite me?”

“I figured you’d be busy,” Came the reply, sad and tender, the most honest she’d heard in a while, “You’re always busy,” 

“Never too busy for you,” Emily’s guilt tripled when her sister didn’t answer, knowing if she were to counter the statement with hard evidence it would only hurt both of them, “Look, I have some time today, probably,” She didn’t, not even a few minutes, “Why don’t we get that coffee, you don’t even have to pay,”

Bugsy gave a sad laugh, “Sorry, Em, I gotta get my dress fitted today, and some of the lab techs invited me to a party later. Maybe some other time,”

“A party with biology nerds?” Emily asked with false excitement, the air turned stagnant between them now, “Well, rock on, science freak. Don’t leave your drinks with strangers, and don’t walk home alone, and for god sake use protection-”

“Bye, Emily,” She said with a chuckle, the older of the two gracing her with the same, as they put the phone down. 

The car was quiet, waiting for Prentiss to speak, none of them missing the way her lip pulled between her teeth, a bitterness on her face that told them she was holding in something close to sadness. You’re always busy. It echoed around her head, stabbing at her chest to think her sister was graduating alone, no one to congratulate her, no one to pat her on the back and tell her how clever she is despite the fact Bugsy would happily tell anyone just how smart she was on her own. Never too busy for you. 

“She’s graduating tomorrow,” She said to the three people waiting for an update, Spencer’s brows shooting to his hairline. He hadn’t heard from her since her last paper got sent off, and why would he? They had exchanged a few little anecdotes and doodles, sent each other research papers to be graded like teachers exchanging lecture notes, “She didn’t even tell me. She’s gonna be alone,” 

JJ grimaced, “What? What about your mom- or, or your dad, an uncle, someone-” 

“Mom and dad are out of the country, Mom’s brother lives in Mexico with his seven kids, he can barely get a night’s sleep let alone a day off to travel up to Maryland. Dad’s sisters passed away when I was a kid,” Emily explained, running a hand over her face, “I can’t let her go up there alone,”

“So we don’t,” Spencer said, as if he’d never been more sure of anything in his life, “We don’t let her do it alone,”

-

“Graduating with Masters in Biotechnology; Jasper Adams, Tom Adamson, Kristen Afkins, Gavin Agriths-” 

The dean read off the names of the students as she fiddled with the hem of her dress. 

The dress fit beautifully, her make up done to near perfection, her hair styled neatly, she was graduating with full honours for christ sakes. Why couldn’t she just be happy with what she had? Why had she got to be so spoiled? 

Lots of peoples parents missed their graduation, lots of people her age didn’t even have parents anymore, she ought to be grateful her mother was increasing famine aid in foreign countries, all the lives she would save, or even be happy her father had found a pretty, rich new wife to tour every known vacation destination with. Or even that her sister had called her just yesterday and told her in a few words she was proud of her. 

But none of them quelled the feeling of loneliness that blossomed inside Bugsy. The kind that had always been there, the kind that just wanted someone in her corner, telling her she was doing pretty good for a kid who raised herself in all those big houses they’d moved to, who saw the au pair more often than her own mother. 

All those rooms were so empty, the houses so quiet besides for her. It was like living in a cemetery. 

“Robert Lewsinsky. Marcus Linford. Tara Lorence. Katie Macauley.” 

P would be up soon. Each name of her classmates drew an applause, some whoops and screams, one family she swore there must have been ten of them in the back row cawing and howling like monkeys at a zoo, proud of their son for making it. 

She willed a smile on her face, hearing Orla Parkins get called up, and she knew just by the steward that directed her where to stand in line she was close. 

“Kenneth Patterson. Joshua Perriman. Harriet Pimms. Lauren Pintons.”

She held a rattled breath as Renly Prackett walked ahead of her, strolling over the stage to collect his degree, flashing the crowd a wide smile and a fist pump. She had always liked Renly, having been his experiment partner for a year, despite the fact he never washed up after himself in the lab. 

Then it was, her name was called. The one no one but her mother and Stephanie ever called her, she solely went by Bugsy courtesy of Emily. It was a family name, a nice one at that. Maybe it had been the fact she had been eight and her cool big sister crowned her the new name, or maybe it just rolled off the tongue better, made her feel less like a Prentiss, that she chose to go by her monika. 

She tried not to think about where or what Emily was doing, only hoping she was safe, as she began walking over the stage, her heels clicking loudly with her hesitant steps. 

To her utmost surprise she heard a loud whistle echo through the auditorium, a group of jeers and screams of her name, even an air horn signing off that had her almost tripping over her own feet turning to see who it was. 

Surely it was a joke, a cruel prank, she barely had any friends in her class. Acquaintances sure, but no one so bold as to make such a fuss over her. 

Squinting down at the audience, her cap nearly slipping off her head as her head turned to the source, she felt her chest burst when she saw the dark hair and bangs, her sisters butchered fingertips in her mouth with a loud cattle whistle, screaming like a firework right to the stage where she graciously accepted her award, despite the fact she barely paid any attention to the dean anymore, more to her sister who smiled at her widely as she clapped. Behind her, her team she’d met on the off chance, the pretty blonde, JJ, who pressed the air horn a few more times, cheering just as loud for her. Morgan, the handsome one who had stood himself on top of his chair, cupping a hand over his mouth to scream “Kicking ass, baby Prentiss!” at her, ignoring the way other people stared wide eyed at them. 

And Spencer, tall enough to be seen over the crowd even without the help of a chair, who smiled at her, clapping those big hands of his loud enough to reach her, his own whoops never ceasing even as she stepped off the stage to head back to her seat. 

The rest of the ceremony dragged, a speech from one of the alumni and the exit music playing, but she simply grinned into her hand, where her degree smiled back at her, counting down the moments she would be allowed to stand. 

And then she was fast walking down the stairs, amongst the bustle of students, the black gowns flurrying around her as she burst out into the square where parents, fiancees, brothers, sisters, cheered their loved ones, pulling them into tight hugs. 

Her eyes scanned the wave of black hats, landing on two dark eyes, the thick sable hair framing the dazzling smile that awaited her with open palms. All but shoving her way through the crowd, she stopped in front of her sister, the urge to jump at her with a hug shying the moment she got close. 

“Told you. Never too busy for you, Bug,” Emily said, pulling her in by her shoulders for a tight hug. She knew her sister wasn’t one to beg for affection, wasn’t one to let her guard drop so soon, but she also knew she’d needed it by the way she melted against her, the way she chuckled into her hair, pulled her closer. 

“Do I owe your boss another letter of apology for this or do I get you guys for free?” The girl asked, as her sister pulled away, keeping an arm around her shoulder as they turned to the rest of the team. 

“No, this one is entirely on us, promise,” JJ said with a smile as she saw Emily beaming maternally over at the girl, the flat of the cap knocking against her cheek as she squeezed her in once more, “We’re very proud of you,” 

She heated under the woman’s words, wriggling in her shoes as bad as Emily did when she felt awkward, Derek chuckling and taking the degree out of her hand. 

“Alright, lets see the creds, Prentiss,” He held it up next to her face as she shrugged, the ‘4.0’ clear as day next to her name, “Good looking, and smart. Those boys in the lab ought to watch out,”

She grinned under his teasing, “What can I say, I got the deep end of the gene pool,” She teased, feeling Emily swat her ear, her eyes falling to where Spencer held a plant pot with a poorly wrapped bow of twine around it, the soil a little displaced from the journey.

“This is for you,” He said, handing her the small green sproutling, his cheeks blushing as her face lit up, reading the small inscription on the front, “It’s-”

“Dionaea muscipula,” She said, biting her lip as she smiled at him, “This is so cool! Where on earth did- I had a paper last semester on the ways to study their electrophysiology you just have to read- oh thank you!”

“English, please?” Emily asked, though the warmth flooded her chest when her sister threw her arms around a very rigid Spencer. 

Thinking she should grab her and warn her the man disliked touch almost as much as she does, she was surprised to see him give her a small embrace back, smiling proudly the way he did when he’d made someone happy. 

“Piège à mouches Vénus,” Her sister responded cockily, tugging herself away from the tall man, to inspect her new plant, well aware that Emily rolled her eyes at her use of French, “Venus Fly Trap. I’ve never seen one so young, still I should be able to pull some slides on the Rhizomes in the soil-”

Emily put a hand to her temple, JJ smiling widely as she saw for once Spencer be the one on the receiving end of an earful, chuckling to himself when she began dishing out name ideas for the sapling. 

“Holy shit, there’s two of them,” Morgan grumbled, nudging his shoulder into Emily who simply sighed, her migraine already starting as Reid began jumping in with his own thoughts, which didn’t take much effort.

“Don’t even,” 

+3. The one where you’re taken hostage

“Tell us about the 911 call,” Spencer requests, flicking through the file himself beside her in the back seat. She had her own set of paperwork in front of her, her pen attached to a clipboard the lanyard around her neck reading her real, honest credentials, unlike the fake ones Emily and Reid were given. She’d been to one of these sects before, invited kindly as part of her research on the effect isolation has on cultivation of crops, knew one of the mother’s well from her last research paper, and had managed to get the group a foot in the door to entering the Separtarian Sect with little fuss. 

Hotch, usually hesitant to allow outsiders in on the job, especially as young and spirited as Bugsy, had to admit it would calm any potential unsubs and make them see the team as unthreatening if they had a friendly face there. He’d signed the papers with a frown that morning, and they were on their way to the little apartment the girl occupied just outside Baltimore, sample tubes stuffed into her pack ready. 

“I believe the he that they refer to is the church’s leader, Benjamin Cyrus,” Nancy, a woman from child protective services, replied from the driver's seat, Emily thumbing through her papers as they neared the compound. 

“Benjamin Cyrus, no criminal record; no record of him at all actually,” Reid replied, watching Bugsy scribbling notes into her lab book, perfecting her report before she had even begun, “What else do you know about him?” 

“The sect I spoke to before, the one in Utah, said he was rumoured to be practising polygamy and forced marriages,” The younger woman said, looking back at him with a frown, “They were much more modern in their beliefs than these guys. Last time I spoke to Marina she was happy there, I can’t see why she would want to move here,” 

Spencer looked as if he were about to answer, perhaps to tell her he was sure her contact would be just fine, when Emily shrugged and turned to Nancy. 

“Do we know who the caller is?” She asked, sipping her now lukewarm coffee out of the disposable cup. 

Nancy’s head tilted in a so-so motion, “Uh, Jessica Evansen is the one who the age fits, but we can’t be sure.”

“Well given their view on outsiders, it would be best if you didn’t identify us as FBI.” Emily instructed, handing Reid his new, fake credentials and his gun she’d kept in her bag through customs. “Just use our real names and introduce us as child victim interview experts.” Nancy nodded, the compound coming into view, the dust flurrying under the car wheels as the road turned into nothing more than a sandy path. 

A guard seemed to be expecting their arrival as he stood, unarmed at the main gate, unlatching the bolt in the middle and opening it wide for their vehicle to pass through. She nodded in thanks, her eyes flicking out the dirty window to see a collection of mobile homes surrounding a large church, a few smaller outbuildings dotted around the compound. It was quiet, not full of laughter like the last group she had been to, the children nowhere to be seen, only a few of the handier members of the flock that were either fixing up walls, trimming trees besides a man sprawled too casually on the steps of the chapel, a bible in his hands he seemed to be catching up on. 

The car pulled to a stop in front of the man that barely batted an eye at their arrival, the safety locks flicking off each of the doors, Nancy collecting her briefcase and exiting the car first. 

She had all but reached for the handle when Emily stopped her, swivelling in her seat to look her dead in the eye. 

“Your job is mediator, you got that?” Her sister had never looked more serious, but then again she did know her almost too well, “You and your field research are a… buffer between our investigation and the unsub. Just try to take the focus off what we’re doing, but do not provoke anyone,”

She raised her hands in innocence, “Got it, jeez, what could I possibly do that could ruin this investigation?” 

Emily stared back at her blankly, unnamused, as if they both knew there was a lot she could, and would, do that would blow the whole thing. 

“You look like mom when you give me that look,” She bit back, leaving the car, as Nancy spoke to the man laying on the steps, “It’s terrible,” 

“I’m looking for Mr Benjamin Cyrus?” Nancy reported, her tight, knee length skirt and blouse entirely out of place amongst the dirt track. 

“You found him,” The man replied, still not so much as granting them a glance of interest as he flicked through his passages. 

“I’m Nancy Lunde, we spoke on the phone regarding the allegation,” She replied, which was the only thing that garnered his attention as he looked up at them behind slightly bent reading glasses. 

“Savages they call us; because our manners differ from theirs,” He said, though it was clear it wasn’t entirely his own words, more likely a segment of his preach he’d repeated a handful of times. Bugsy tried to hide her disgust behind her hand tightening around her lab books she kept tightly to her chest. 

“We didn’t come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr Cyrus,” Nancy snipped as he approached the group, pocketing the glasses though he kept hold of the bible in hand as if it was part of his own arm. 

“Actually it’s Benjamin Franklin,” Spencer murmured to the woman, which had Cyrus’ cold brown eyes narrowing at the tall man, assessing for a motive.

“Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid. They’re child victim interview experts,” Nancy introduced them quickly, the two of them flashing their badges, the unofficial ones at least. Gesturing to the youngest woman, she introduced her with her real name, his gaze flicking to her as he seemed to recognise it.

“Marina’s friend? The plant lady?” He asked, face half amused as she fought her lip from twitching into a sneer. Instead she smiled, holding out her hand. 

“That’s what they call me,” She said, shaking his hand, ignoring the way he flashed her a cheshire cat smile, “Hope you don’t mind me dropping by, Marina said I could take some samples for my research,”

He laughed, shaking his head, looking at Spencer, “Women and their flowers, right?” Spencer swallowed back a retort, shrugging his shoulders, though Bugsy’s eye twitched. Benjamin patted her on her shoulder, “Of course you can honey, I’ll find Jared, our head gardner, and you can run along for your research,” 

He said it as if she were lying, that her degree and endless hours of work would only ever chalk up to a few doodles in a notebook, or a garden full of hydrangeas, or tulips, or roses, because she couldn’t possibly care about anything else but pretty flowers. 

Nodding her head graciously, choking back the hateful response she wished to spit in his face, she gave him a polite thankyou, feeling Spencer’s eyes burning into the side of her head. 

“The children are in the school as I indicated,” Cyrus said, turning back to the other three, Emily and Nancy taking off in the direction he pointed, the former knowing her sister was at risk of blowing a fuse if they were here for long. 

Spencer hung back, partially because he had a plan of distraction in mind to allow the women a chance to speak with the children whilst Cyrus wasn’t around, partially because he didn’t want to leave Bugsy anywhere on her own. Sure, Emily had said they were both trained in self defence when they were kids, but with no weapon of her own, he was reluctant. 

“You're using solar power?” He prompted, gesturing towards where the eight blue panels warmed under the Colorado sun.

“We’re completely self-sufficient,” Benjamin nodded along, catching the impressed look on both their faces, “Electricity, food, water. Ben Franklin said ‘God helps those that help themselves,’ you look surprised,” 

“No, impressed actually,” Spencer replied, and he wasn’t entirely lying. The system was incredibly complex, particularly if they received no help from outsiders, for as many people as there were in the compound. 

“Thankyou; for admitting that,” Cyrus said earnestly, flicking his gaze back to Bugsy who studied the solar panels, “I’ll go find Jared, he can take you to the greenhouses,”

Thanking him again, he led the way towards the school where Nancy and Emily had headed, as the two of them exchanged a look, Spencer smiling half piteously, wishing he could shake her and tell her just how smart she was and that Cyrus knew absolutely nothing. 

He didn’t miss the way she walked closer to him, or how she thumbed the corner of her notebook, or how she looked back at him, biting the inside of her cheek. He thinks he might get slapped if he pointed it out, but Emily had the exact same tell when she was nervous, which is why he bumps their shoulders together in means of reassuring her he was still there. 

It was only then she gave him any sort of smile back. 

-

Jared, as expected, had been just as condescending and patronising as Benjamin whilst she slipped on her latex gloves, scooping no more than a handful of homemade fertiliser into one of her test tubes. It had been a partial cover, their story, but she had been telling the truth when she’d contacted Marina and asked if she could drop by. She’d been meaning to expand her field research in hopes of stumbling on a job opportunity since she spent most of her postgraduate days reading while her cat pawed at her leg for more treats than he deserved, the odd phone call with her sister much more common than it had been before. 

She didn’t miss the way Jared’s hand fell into the small of her back as he led her back towards the school, after having noted down a few more readings, fussing over the state of the carrots that seemed to grow entirely naturally thanks to the systems they’d been smart enough to set up. He seemed rather bored by the whole thing, for a head gardener, more interested in staring at her legs as she leaned down to identify the fat black beetle that crawled along the rockery. 

It wasn’t until they were halfway to the school that the sound of tyres on a dirt path met her ears, and she saw five armoured SUVs out the corner of her eye. 

She hadn’t even the time to question what was going on, before Jared’s face dropped, the hand gently holding the soft of her back grabbing on her forearm hard enough to leave bruises, as he was dragging her to the chapel they had seen when they had pulled up.

 Emily had said the rest of the team stayed in Quantico, if it wasn’t them, who was it. 

“Whats going on- who is that?” She asked him lamely, her feet stumbling as she half fought his heavy hand off. 

That was when the shooting started. 

She thinks it came from the compound first, she’d seen two men stationed on top of one of the outbuildings, thinking nothing much of it, until she saw clearly now the assault rifles they bore, pointing it straight at the vehicles that drew closer. The whistle of bullets, bangs of the chambers emptying their artillery, and it wasn’t until she heard the doors to the SUVs start opening, more gunfire began hitting the wall ahead of them that she started running. Running fast, for the cover the church provided until she figured out just what the fuck was happening. 

Jared all but threw her past the chapel door, where Cyrus and four other men were waiting, a heavy barricade in their hands, her chest pounding with adrenaline, she couldn’t help the yelp that left her as Cyrus whirled on her, grabbing her shoulders firmly and looking her dead in the eye. 

“Did you know anything about this?” He asked, his calm demeanour cracking when she scrambled for a response, “ANSWER ME,”

“No-no not at all.” She shook her head, voice weaker than she’d like, but the sight of more guns in the men’s hands twisted any resolve she had, “Where are the others- the- the experts-”

“Take her into the tunnels,” Cyrus ignored her question, nodding at one of his men to grab her as Jared armed himself. She felt another callused hand yank on her upper arm, and part of her wondered if that was how men handled all women here, as if they were herding cattle, as she was dragged down into the catacombs below the church. 

They’d made plans for a day like this to come, she realised. 

Her heart constricted at the sound of bullets rattling above them, she hadn't been able to tell in that last moment whether Cyrus believed her or not as, nor whether she was being taken to the tunnels for her own safety or to be questioned harder about the gunmen. 

She could only hope Emily was safe. 

She felt her tongue too big for her mouth as the man all but shoved her into the bunker, the nervous chatter of women and children, some of the more elderly men, as they clung to one another for safety, the scathing remark she would have usually made about his heavy hands failing her as she scanned the room for her sister. 

Emily was faster however, and she nearly yelped again as two bony arms yanked her into a hug, a rare one, and she knew by the blazer and the sigh of relief in her ear it was Em.

Usually she would bat her off, tell her to stop fussing like a mother hen, but today she embraced her right back, trying to note if her sister had any bullet holes in her before she allowed herself the same relief. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Emily asked, the whole thing coming out in a slew of worry, and she nodded, pulling away as if she needed to see the proof in person. 

Bugsy’s eyes were wild, as if she were a doe in a meadow hearing a rifle cocking near. No scratch that, she was a doe being chased and shot at and hunted, narrowly escaping being mounted on a wall. 

“They were all shit shots,” Bugsy said, through a laugh she didn’t quite mean, “You would have done much better.” 

Patting her sister on the shoulder, Emily finally released her when she realised the humour meant she at least had her head on her shoulders. Spencer watched her with meticulous eyes, knowing the shock that registered on her face, knowing it was the same one he wore when he first had shots fired at him. He saw her own eyes quickly check him over, satisfied with a breath of relief when she saw they were both fine. 

“Where’s Lunde?” Emily asked, and she realised then Cyrus had followed her down into the shelter, two of his men grabbing handfuls of guns she had never seen before, likely imported out of country, and returning to the ground level, preparing for more shooting. 

“It wasn’t us,” Cyrus replied, as if that negated the fact their recklessness had gotten the agent killed. 

“What? You can’t shoot it out with the cops, you have children in here,” Emily seethed, her voice harsh and incredulous.

“I didn’t start this,” Cyrus bit back, looking towards his men as they grabbed boxes on boxes of ammunition, “I’ll take the front, you take the roof,” 

And with that they stormed their way back through the tunnels, leaving the three of them to look between each other, knowing this could only end badly. Knowing the only people that could figure out how to get them out of this mess was the BAU, all 1,700 miles away. 

–

They’d been in the bunker for fourteen hours when there was finally movement. The shooting seemed to have quietened down, in which Spencer whispered it was around 11pm and it was likely neither party had a clear shot. She’d managed to fall asleep leaning against the wall, Emily’s blazer draped over her legs. She’d regretted wearing cropped pants, despite how the shade of green complimented her eyes nicely, and she’d been shivering by the time she fell asleep, Emily’s hands stroking her hair gently as if she knew she was struggling to relax. 

She hadn’t realised she was staring at her little sister, frowning even as she slept, which made part of her want to laugh, until she caught Spencer’s tired eyes looking between them, something knowing and warm in his gaze. 

“You know, she’s always scowled in her sleep, ever since she was born,” Emily said, quiet enough it didn’t interrupt the hum of small snores, the odd baby cry that filled the bunker, but loud enough for him to smile at her, “She used to sleep walk terrible too. I’d find her in the kitchen trying to make pancakes with a cheese grater. It’s like that big brain of hers doesn’t know how to shut off,” Emily shook her head with a fatigue, rubbing her eyes. 

“Was it weird? Being fourteen years older?” Spencer asked, his own hands shoved into his sleeves to try defend from the draught. Emily thought for a moment, her hand slowing for a second on her sister's hair, before she answered. 

“I felt guilty leaving her in that house with my mom when I went to college,” Emily answered, Bugsy unconsciously tucking her face closer into the jacket, “I think part of her kind of hated me for it for a while.” She went quiet, the shame in her voice thick as the silence that encompassed them, “She’s never been very affectionate you know? Before her graduation I don’t think I’d hugged her in twelve years,”

Spencer held himself back from pointing out that she had been just as touchy with him since they’d met, and that maybe it was Emily’s own regret that seemed to shut the both of them down. He wasn’t one to rub salt in the wound, not since he’d gotten this job and learned to watch what he said. 

He didn’t know what to say, didn’t want to give her advice, knowing the whole subject of their slowly repairing relationship was a sore one. He had no siblings of his own, had a mother who loved him despite how much she grappled with her own mind, and he had only known the girl briefly enough to consider her a friend at a push. 

“I always thought the two of you were similar,” Emily chose to continue, offering him a small smile. He returned it, his face blushing at the fact that was a huge compliment to him, “Granted, you roll your eyes at me less and don’t act like I’m dumb, but you remind me of her,” 

“Thankyou, I wish that were true,” He replied, eyes flicking to her sleeping form, the way her eyebrows were indeed scrunched in a permanent frown. He wondered if she was actually angry, or if she was just thinking hard, perhaps her dreams were full of equations or labs she needed to sort through. Either way, he wanted to know. “She’s much cooler than I’ll ever be,” 

Emily snorted, shuffling against the wall to cosy herself, “That’s one way to put it,” She said, smiling over at him as he did the same, his head resting against the wall, Bugsy’s legs stretching out to knock against his feet, and he didn’t mind that she scuffed the bottom of his already dirty trousers. “Get some sleep,”

And so they did. 

–

Cyrus had corralled the whole flock into the church, where the shooting had stopped and the bodies had been removed, stating at the break of dawn that there was a hostage negotiator coming in to make sure everyone was safe before they made any deals. 

She sat next to Spencer, the three of them stiff from their sleeping arrangements, and her stomach churned with hunger. It had been over 24 hours since they’d gotten here, and besides the small bit of bread and water Cyrus gave everyone for breakfast, she was starving. 

“Remind me to never leave the house, ever again,” She grumbled, as everyone waited in the pews for the negotiator to arrive, “My cat is gonna be pissed I’ve not fed him,” 

“Since when did you get a cat?” Emily inputted from the other side of Reid, keeping one eye on the door in case any agents start shooting again. 

The girl shrugged, “I got lonely, there’s not much to do now I’m not studying anymore,” 

Reid watched how she clutched her stomach, feeling his own complaining at the lack of nutrition, “Morgan wasn’t lying when he said you should sign up for the academy. We could always use the help, we wouldn’t have solved that case in Baltimore without you,” 

She snickered, nudging his foot with her boot, “You’re being modest, you would have done it just fine,”

He was a little, wasn’t surprised she called his bluff either. “Okay, so probably yes- but it would have taken us a whole lot longer. Mr Chernus likely would have died,” 

She shook her head, glancing at Emily who watched her carefully, “That was all you guys. I just translated.”

Emily and Spencer exchanged a glance, leaning back in their uncomfortable seats calmly. 

“You’re probably right,” Spencer said, dusting the dirt off his trousers, “Probably couldn’t handle it, high intensity mind games and such,”

She blanched, looking at him as if he’d grown a second head, not knowing him to be so brutally honest, realistic yes, but not bordering on rude. 

“And it’s a lot of work,” Emily jumped in, her mouth a straight line, “I don’t know if you’d be dedicated enough,”

Bugsy scoffed, indifferently. “I have a masters degree, I was offered a scholarship to do a PHD, asked to be an assistant professor at Yale, I can work hard, Emily,” She snipped, and perhaps she was particularly just hangry or they had struck a nerve with their doubt, “and I could do it if I wanted to, I’d have the best shot they’d ever seen, guaranteed- mom made me take lessons when you left- trust me I could do it-”

She shut up when she saw their small smile exchanged, as if she’d told them a joke, or moreso they’d had the same identical thought and that alone was hilarious. 

Scowling at them, she looked from where Spencer looked almost, almost, guilty at making her the butt of the joke, to where Emily had a ‘told you so’ smirk, and she kissed her teeth at their childishness. 

“Are you guys reverse psychology-ing me? Seriously, so original guys,” She snapped, crossing her arms and straightening herself in her seat, ignoring the snigger that passed between them. 

“You’re not wrong though,” Emily replied quietly as Cyrus walked past them, his eyes falling to them with a frown. Bugsy kept her head down, heeding Emily’s warning of not provoking anyone, and Spencer eyed the way she leaned closer to him.

If she was going to retaliate, whether agreeing or not, she stopped herself, the doors the church opening and an older gentleman walking through the doors, arms full of supplies she’d figured must have been part of the negotiation. He was patted down by an armed guard, searching for his own weapons do doubt, or a wire perhaps, as he handed the box over to another who took it without a thankyou. 

“Rossi,” She heard Reid whisper beside her, and from the look he shot Emily and Spencer she gathered he was from the BAU, just as they’d expected. His eyes fell on her, softening as alot of Emily’s team did when they saw the two of them, as if they were picking her face apart for the tiny ways in which she resembled their Prentiss, or maybe it was the way she curled up in her seat, tired, hungry, on the defence. He just looked sorry for her. 

 “The children,” Cyrus said with no greeting, the air between them particularly frosty. He gestured towards the three of them, though Rossi had already clocked their tired faces staring at him with worry, “And our guests,”

She saw him trying not to react, guessing they had not let it slip to Cyrus he worked with the two undercover FBI agents, looking away from them as if the sight of their forlorn figures was enough to turn him sick. 

Judging by the way Cyrus and he spoke quietly, tensely, Bugsy just hoped they had a plan to get them out of here soon as he soon left with a rigid handshake to the man keeping them hostage. 

–

The three of them had been moved to a backroom a few hours later. Her stomach ached, the little sustenance Rossi had brought being distributed to the community before they’d been offered anything, which hadn’t left much. Reid and Emily had tried to get her to take some of their sharing, and despite how her insides cried out for it, she declined, stating they would be more use than she would; that they needed their strength more than her if they were going to get out of here alive. 

The two of them hadn’t liked that answer judging by the frowns on their faces, but they sat in their seats with little fuss as they waited for things to quieten down after Cyrus’ staged “mass suicide” that had turned out to be nothign more than a test of loyalty and grape juice. 

They had been sat in silence, aside from her foot bouncing on the floor impatiently, as she picked at the threads on her pants, the material uncomfortable on her skin after a day of wearing it. The door slammed open, Cyrus entering the room with nasty scowl. She didn’t know what had changed in the man in a matter of hours as he stormed over to them, two of his men behind him, loaded rifles in their arms. 

This was not good. 

“Which one of you is it?” He asked almost too calm for his demeanour, his eyes flicking between the three of them, where Emily attempted to brush her hair using her fingers, Reid played with the hem of his cardigan, an she sat beside him, resting against the cold stone wall behind them, her eyes narrowing at his furious expression. 

The three of them remained silent, waiting for him to explain more, though clearly it was not the answer he was looking for as he threw his jacket open, revealing a loaded pistol tucked into his jeans. Drawing it into his dominant hand, her body tensed up, her back straightening like a rod as she looked up at him through fear. 

“Which one of you is the FBI agent?” He repeated in that same calm tone, and her heart fell through her stomach. 

She opened her mouth to say something in retaliation, though the way she saw his hand shaking with fury, she knew it was better to stay quiet in case her voice would be the final straw that made him trigger happy. 

“Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?” Spencer replied softly, and if he was panicking even a fraction amount she was he held it back, though his eyes flicked to Emily. 

But it was a tell. The smallest movement alone was a tell he was lying, or perhaps it was the fact he’d answered a question with one of his own, distracting from the attention on them with the unsubs own answers. Maybe his quiet and calm showed how trained he was for a situation like this, showed he had gone up against bad guys before and won. 

Whatever it was about him, it had Cyrus cocking the barrel of the gun straight at Spencer’s temple. 

“God forgive me for what I must do,” The preacher murmured, his finger moments away from the trigger, when she lurched forward in her seat, hand shooting out to grab his wrist deathly tight. 

“It’s me,” 

She hadn’t realised she’d said it until the room went quiet. She thought for a moment it had come from Emily, Emily had always been the braver of the two of them, but it wasn’t until Cyrus’ unforgiving, dark gaze fell to her where she froze in her spot, that she understood her mouth had been the one moving. 

Emily looked as if she was about to vomit, Spencer looked dumbfounded, but all she could do was stare back at Cyrus as if to will herself not to back down, knowing all three of them could fall victim if she gave them reason to doubt her; he could kill all three of them just to be sure the mystery agent was dealt with.

“It’s me,” She repeated, voice stronger this time, and she felt her chest relax just the tiniest amount as he turned the gun away from Spencer’s head. 

He stared back at her for a moment, before the weapon smacked across her face in a sharp whip, her cheekbone crying out in a sting she knew was going to bruise. 

He grabbed her hair at the nape of her neck, yanking her into a stand hard enough she yelped, despite not wanting to give him the satisfaction of the torture. 

“Watch the other two,” Cyrus barked, dragging her out of the room as she squirmed under his hand, feeling it only tighten into an unforgiving pull. 

She barely caught Emily bolting out of her seat to yell at the other men, all but fighting in their heavy grasp to follow wherever it was he was taking her, only for the door to be slammed shut behind them. 

It was only then she realised how fucked she truly was. 

–

She struggled to breath through the blood clotting in her nose. She didn’t think it was broken, not that she could check where her hands had been tied to the bedpost, tape over her mouth to stop her calling for help, her feet bound. She’d done nothing but give him hell as he’d been laying into her, keeping her cries and groans of pain silent as he’d kicked her in the ribs hard enough to know he’d damaged something at least. 

She’d not made it easy for him to tie her down, worried about what they were planning next, she’d managed to headbutt him in the mouth, and the way he clutched at his jaw when he’d left gave her a sick satisfaction, though her temple now hurt more than she’d like to admit. But they’d only covered her mouth after she’d screamed obscenities at them for an hour or so, hoping to attract attention, hoping if the BAU were on their way, Emily and Reid would be able to find her fast before they could dispose of her. 

Bugsy didn’t want to go like this. Tied up like cattle, gagged and beaten, the spirit kicked out of her as the dehydration gnawed at her limbs, making her too weak to even try wriggling out of the binds. 

She felt herself dropping off to sleep, or maybe it was a concussion, he’d slammed her face into that mirror quite viciously, she wouldn’t be surprised if it had rattled her head around. Fighting with her eyelids to stay open, she jumped in her battered skin as the door unlatched, and she thrashed on the rickety bed to get away from the impending second beating. 

But it wasn’t Cyrus. A fawn haired woman entered, her eyes falling on the girl on the bed, where blood trickled down her cheek, pouring from her nose like a thick liquor. Frowning, she was on high alert as the woman approached, a small, damp cloth in her hand. 

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you honey,” She hushed, approaching the young girl. Bugsy didn’t believe her for one second, her head pulling away from her as far as it could, her eyes wild and distrustful as the woman kneeled down beside the bed. “I’m Kathy,”

Bugsy debated jabbing an elbow in her face then and there, telling her in few words to stay as far away from her as possible, that the moment she was free she didn’t care who she hurt; she was getting out of here even if she had to crawl. 

“That woman’s your sister right?” The blonde said, and the words stopped her heart for a moment, giving the woman the chance to run the cloth over the dribble of blood, “Emily,”

“Where is she?” She tried to ask, but the gag made it little more than a muffled cry, the woman’s eyes turning down in sadness. Pity. Bugsy hated every second of it.

“She’s okay, she’s worried about you though,” Kathy said, wiping under her nose, making her wince at the feeling, “Put up a hell of a fight after they took you away,” 

She must have rolled her eyes, or perhaps it was just telling on her face that that didn’t surprise her as the older woman wiped over the superficial cut on her forehead she hadn’t realised was deep until the cloth went over it and she yawped like a dog having it’s tail pulled. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Kathy cooed, and she seemed genuinely guilty as she did. She tutted, shaking her head, fighting the urge to smooth the girls hair down the way she did when her own daughter was upset, “Emily said they’ll be coming for us at 3am, Cyrus has a mass suicide planned but they think they can stop him, you just have to hold on a little longer honey,” 

“I want to see her,” Bugsy tried to talk again despite her mouth being covered, only for it to come out unintelligible once more. Huffing, she resigned herself to glaring at the ceiling, biting back frustrated tears. Kathy seemed to want to say something else, but thought better of it as the twenty something year old turned away from her to stare out the window, as if she were being dismissed. 

Sighing, she rose from the bed and headed for the door, praying the FBI would get them out in time, before Cyrus put his plan into action. 

–

Bugsy didn’t start panicking until it hit 2:50. She’d managed to kick the small analogue clock on the beside into working, the red numbers seeming to take a millenia to change over. 

Yet it wasn’t until 3am neared, and the hallways remained silent, did she start to wonder if Kathy had been telling the truth at all. What if they had found out Emily and Reid were FBI and not her? What if they’d already been caught?

She really had wanted to see Emily, wanted to scream at the woman, who had meant well, to bring her sister to her or she would make every damn bible basher in this compound regret the day they were born. She felt helpless. She despised feeling helpless. 

It was only when she heard shots rattling from outside did the cold fear set in. 2:52. Any minute now. 

It was then an even worse thought struck her. What if they didn’t bother to come for her? Reid and Emily were safe downstairs, at least that was how Kathy had made it seem. If they got the women and children, the agents out first, she wondered if they would leave her for last since she wasn’t their top priority. 

2:53 stared back at her. 

At least Emily would make it. She was more important, had more going for her. She was supposed to be an only child anyway, mom had said it herself. Bugsy was the product of a failing marriage and a shared bottle of 1896 Bourbon that had been a wedding gift they’d never opened. 

2:54.

She could have sworn she tore something the way her head snapped to the door as it swung open on its hinges, as if two large men had thrown their weight into it. But it wasn’t two men at all, just one frantic Derek Morgan with an FBI grade assault rifle. 

The relief in his eyes was immediate, and he pulled a pocket knife from his boot, rushing over to where she lay, almost in shock, wondering if he was real at all, her heart pounding as she heard shouting in the corridor. 

“I’m gonna get you out, kid,” The man promised, slinging his gun over his shoulder as he sliced through the rope on her ankles, her eyes trained on the 2:55 that watched them as if to laugh at them. 

She whimpered, cursing behind her gag when she heard footsteps pounding through the hallway, and she was sure they were going to get caught. She thought then it would have been better if they’d forgotten about her, that at least Derek would have been safe, and he could have made sure the children got out safely, could have gotten Spencer and Emily medical. 

Derek whirled on the doorway the same as she did as a tall figure all but skidded around the corner, his legs weak as hers felt, too long and not at all built for running. Clumsy almost. 

Spencer. She should have known from the way he looked white as a sheet the moment he saw her it was him, but maybe she really did have concussion, as it seemed within moments he was fussing over her face, tearing a little too sharply at the tape over her mouth. 

She thinks she groaned, or maybe cursed him out, as he started apologising immediately, his eyes a puppy kind of sad as she stared up at him, Derek handing him the knife to cut her arms free. 

He was talking, but she couldn’t make a lot of it out, just that he was really sorry, it was 2:56 now. It was like her brain switched itself back on when she realised she was free, and the two of them were trying to haul her to her feet. 

“Come on, princess, we gotta get out of here,” Derek said, as Spencer looped an arm around her waist, helping her limp across the room where her weak limbs did little to hold her upright, her ribs throbbing with every step, “We managed to stop Cyrus from detonating it manually, but the circuits are all still live,”

Morgan took the lead with the rifle, knowing some of Cyrus’ men had stayed to look for them, that they would go down with the building even though he’d already shot their leader the moment they’d breached the front door, because that was how loyal they were. They’d proven so already with the wine. 

She kept her groans behind tight lips as they made it down the stairs, knowing Spencer didn’t mean to hold her bruised bones so tight, that he was just worried and her legs were doing the bare minimum to keep them both moving very fast. It wasn’t until they made it within a few feet of the door that they seemed to pick up the pace.

And she saw why. 

Jesse, Cyrus’ child bride that had been the reason they’d come here in the first place was holding the detonator, her face tear streaked at the sight of her husband and prophet dead on the floor, the people responsible all but dragging a lame girl through the foyer and to the doors as if they hadn’t killed a handful of her flock tonight. 

Bugsy saw the moment Jesse decided she wanted vengeance on them, but then, she guessed Spencer had already acted as he slung one of her arms over his shoulder, yanking her out the front door in a matter of seconds as Morgan pulled up the rear, and the two men shoved her down behind the small wall outside the church steps. 

Bugsy expected the bang to be louder as the rubble flew over their heads, the floor shaking with the impact of the bomb detonating, and it was then she realised one of Derek’s large warm hands held her head into his shoulder, protecting her already rattled skull as best as he could. Spencer had done the same, throwing half his body over her back as he covered his ears, the two men tucking into the wall tightly and waiting for the dust to settle. 

Spencer started coughing first, though his position over her never faltered, and she heard his chest wheezing, and knew they needed to move away from the thick smog that blew into their faces. Morgan released her ear, tipping her head back to check her over once more. 

“Kid! You okay?” He fretted, noticing the way her nose had started bleeding again from all the movement; the way the bruise had already started blotching her cheek from where Cyrus pistol whipped her. 

“I didn’t think you’d come for me,” Was all she could say, and Derek thought it was the saddest he’d ever heard her. 

Reid was pulling her to her feet then, where he was still hovering over her, despite the fact the blast had already cleared,  still sputtering and hocking up a lung, but it didn’t stop her from throwing herself at his middle, burying her face in his dusty sweater, not caring one bit if he jostled her aching ribs. 

He was trying to be gentle with her as he squeezed her back, but she knew by the way he pressed his face into her hair he needed it just as badly. 

“You saved my life,” He said, his long arms wrapping around her waist, hauling her whole body against his. 

She laughed through a cough, their cheeks brushing past one another as she pulled him in tighter, thankful, relieved. 

“You saved mine,” 

And then she heard Emily. Emily, who sounded frantic and heartbroken as she called for her, her voice breaking as if she was crying, or atleast on the verge of, and as comforting as Spencer’s long arms around her cracked ribs were, she needed to see her sister was okay. 

Ripping herself from his embrace immediately, she tore off after the sound, and there she was. Her older sister, who had always seemed immovable, like she wouldn’t so much as budge for a bucking horse, like water couldn’t drown her, or however many unsubs she’d faced could stop her from catching them. Her older sister, who looked like she’d taken a few punches of her own, judging by the blood on her blue blouse, that looked around the crowd of fleeing people with watery eyes and a shaking bottom lip.

“EMILY,” She yelled, her voice a bleat, a lamb calling for its mother, as she sprinted down the steps, whatever strength she had left carrying her to where Emily was rushing towards her, taking the stairs in threes, “EM-”

She crashed into her sister’s chest, and it was only then she started crying. 

“I swear I’ll never give you trouble again, I’ll never talk back, I’ll never be a bitch ever again-” It was all a slew of mumbles against her sisters shirt, that was beginning to wet through at the rate the tears were coming, “I thought he was going to shoot you-”

“I was so scared, Bug, oh my god,” Emily murmured into her hair, squeezing the life out of her baby sister that sniffled and sobbed, “You don’t ever, ever do that to me again,”

Bugsy shook her head, clawing at Emily’s back as she pulled her closer, feeling Emily stroking her hair softly to calm her even in the slightest. They stayed like that until she managed to wrangle her sobs into little sniffs, the fire burning her eyes where it burned the rest of the church to ashes. 

She stayed with Emily for a month after that. 

+4. The one where you leave the altar. 

She knew she was turning heads, walking down the street of a drizzly day in Virginia, hair wet and sticking to her face, makeup running down her cheeks, and the sodden, dove white wedding dress clasped in her hands as she paced towards the government building. 

Whether the guards recognised her as the Ambassador’s daughter, or whether they really didn’t want to get into it with a bride looking like that on her day, she didn’t know, but they opened the door for her nonetheless, exchanging raised brows as a trail of wet followed her gown over the marble floors. 

Heading up the desk, she flashed her driver's licence, which was enough to gain her a visitors pass she didn’t bother putting to use as she headed for the elevator, her ballet pumps squeaking under the body of the dress. Waiting for the doors to start closing when she finally let a few tears slip, burying her face into her cold, drenched palms, undoubtedly making the mess of mascara even worse. 

Her heart gave a leap when she heard someone stop the doors, hoping she could get to her sister with little delay, and she quickly wiped her face with whatever was left of her pretty, dobby cloth shawl she had yanked on before she’d ran. 

Whatever excuse she was about to give, whatever one liner she was about to drop to clear the awkwardness this agent was about to walk in on was sucked out of her when she saw Spencer staring at her, his briefcase in his hands he’d used to hold the doors, a wide eyed look plastered on his face as soon as he saw her state. 

“Bugsy,” It was somewhere between surprise and sadness, jumping into the elevator before the metal could shut again, the button for the sixth floor already lit up in a ring of red, “What are you- I didn’t even know…”

“Spencer!” As seemed to be a common occurrence between them now, she threw two very cold arms over his shoulders, tugging him for a hug he quickly reciprocated, feeling like she needed it in the moment, “It was so awful, I just couldn’t all those people staring at me, and he- I just feel so-”

“Hey slow down,” He soothed, slipping his favourite cardigan off his body to put over her shoulders, ignoring the way he cringed as it quickly got sodden, “Let’s get you to Emily, I’m sure we can fix this,”

She nodded, though he could tell she was still shaken up, the elevator dinging to a stop on the fifth floor where an agent looked ready to step in, his face dropping when he saw the sight. 

“Sorry, we’re full,” Spencer said, with little room for discussion, pressing the button to close the doors once more, and taking her by the elbow as she began shivering, “We’re gonna be just fine, you look beautiful,”

She laughed sadly with a roll of her eyes, the tears sticking to her cheeks. She knew she looked no better than a drowned rat, windswept and disgruntled, her dress full of muck from the street. 

“Thankyou, Spencer,” She mumbled, the door sliding open to the sixth floor, where Penelope and her everlasting smile greeted her favourite boy genius. 

She almost dropped her glitter pen when she saw the woman stood next to him looking like Dorothy dragged through the twister. 

“Oh you poor little lamb, what has happened to you honey!” She all but cried, the cute little pom poms in her hair bouncing as she brought Bugsy closer, taking her hands tightly. “Your hands are ice! You’ll catch cold with that wet hair, and your gorgeous dress-” 

“Garcia,” Spencer cut her off, though the woman didn’t seem to mind being manhandled into the kind grip, he guessed her state had her letting her guard down, “This is Bugsy, Emily’s little sister.”

Penelope gasped, her ponytails swishing around some more, the gems on her glasses as bright as the light in her eyes as she yanked the younger girl in for a tight hug. 

“It is so nice to meet you! Emily talks about you all the time,” She said, pulling away and fumbling through her pockets for her fresh pink handkerchief she always carried around, mopping up the girl's eyeliner. 

“She-she does?” Bugsy asked, sniffling, her body trembling as the AC beat down through the water ladened on her body. 

“Of course she does, come on, let’s go get you coffee, I have a new machine in my office that makes the best espresso-” Garcia grabbed her hand as if they were kids in the playground, as if she’d known the girl years, which she sort of had. She had, of course, stalked every single one of Emily’s known relatives, even a distant cousin that never left Europe, and that had thrown up the quiet corner of the internet that Bugsy took up.

“I needed to talk to my sister, if that’s okay,” Bugsy braved enough to say, the swishing of her dress on the carpet making her wince, practically hearing the gallon of rain that soaked the expensive fabric. 

“Ofcourse! How silly of me, I’ll bring it out right to you, little bug. You just go with Spencer,” Handing him the handkerchief, she set off towards her ‘bat cave’ in search of a hot beverage for the shivering woman, “Spencer, clean her makeup!” 

He did as he was told, dabbing the water off her face as he led her to the BAU, where Emily and Morgan sat on their desks, chatting as they finished off lunch, Emily flicking through photos on her phone of baby Henry that JJ had sent over to her that morning from maternity leave. 

“He’s just the sweetest little boy, he’s got the biggest blue eyes just like Jayj,” She said through a smile, “You know Will even said-”

“Holy shit-” Morgan cut her off, and she glanced at him, wondering about his use of a curse. Following his eyes over her shoulder, she swivelled in her position to see where Spencer led a very wet, shaken version of her little sister through the doors of the BAU, a snowy ball gown hanging off her, a veil clinging to her hair that had seen much better days. 

“Holy shit,” She agreed, immediately darting for the girl that tugged Spencer’s cardigan tighter to her body, “Bugsy,” 

“Emily, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t take up too much time- I just couldn’t do it- and I know mom’s always saying ‘Bring home a doctor, bring home a rich man,’ but I just couldn’t no matter how rich his daddy is, he wasn’t even too bad-” It all came out in a slur, not making too much sense, and she didn’t stop until Emily held up her hands, as if easing a wild dog. 

“Woah, take it easy, kiddo,” Morgan hushed, as Emily brought a hand over her sister’s cheek, wiping away the last of the mascara, “What happened?”

Bugsy took a deep breath, looking between Emily and Derek, feeling the rain drip down her back. 

“So a few weeks ago, Mom made me go to that stupid debutante ball,” She started, rolling her eyes already as Emily winced, knowing Elizabeth loved any excuse to dress her youngest up like a Barbie doll. 

“I hated those things,” She confessed, shaking her head, “I thought you’d agreed you didn’t have to go to them anymore,”

“That was while I was in college, she said at least I could focus on my studies,” The girl explained, as Garcia tottered back through the office, a steaming cup of coffee in her beloved Bratz mug. Taking it from the chirpy woman, she took a deep gulp, not caring if it burned her mouth as she wished for the damn chill to go away, “Thankyou- But she made me go to this one on the condition she would pay off some of my college loans, and I was dumb enough to fall for her bribe,” 

She huffed, taking another sip, her stomach warming with the hot liquid settling through her throat. 

“You know how she is at these things, she knows everyone, and everyone knows her. I had four guys asking for my dance card within minutes of arriving there, it was like trying to walk through a dog pound wearing a meat suit, all the hand holding, trying to touch my waist- one guy even called me Madam Prentiss,” She grimaced, shuddering at the thought of it, “Madam? No one even calls mom that-”

“Focus,” Emily reminded gently, and she seemed to nod to herself, setting back on track.

“Right. And then he was there. Byron Hastings.” Bugsy said, wrapping her hands around the mug some more. 

“Oh, isn’t he that super yummy bachelor that just inherited his fathers business?” Garcia jumped in, not noticing how it made her wince, “I hear his dad totally owns a bunch of shares in Facebook and as like just signed a deal with a new company that will change the future of computing-” 

“Not now, baby girl,” Morgan said calmly, patting Penelope on her shoulder when she saw the bride’s crestfallen face.

“Right, sorry. Your turn, little bug,” She said, shaking her head and fiddling with her dozen rings. 

“Yeah, that’s him.” She replied, running a slightly warmed finger over her eyelash where rain even collected there, “And you know, I wasn’t complaining, he was certainly easy on the eyes, and he smelled nice, like he just smelled rich, but man alive he was so boring,” She sighed, “I like computers as much as the next girl, no offence, but he didn’t once ask me what I was into or, and when I tried to bring up my degree he just patted me on the head and said ‘That’s nice’ like I was some child that had brought him a pretty colouring or something,”

“Ouch,” Emily grimaced, rubbing her arms over the cardigan to warm her up a little more, “And then?” 

“And eventually, his dad and my mom cut a deal that we’d make a good pair. He said we could be married within the season, and suddenly everyone seemed up for it, and it was like no matter how hard I tried to dig my heels in, no one would listen, and mom just seemed so pleased with me-” She spluttered, sipping her drink to catch her breath, “I just let it happen and just thought, you know, maybe we could learn to like each other, or we could just be like mom and dad and separate in everything but paper,” 

“It’s your life, who is she to tell you how you’re gonna live it,” Emily was outraged, the tip of her nose pink, her dark eyes stormy as her hands fell to her hips, huffing as if it had been her backed into a corner, “I can’t believe she would do this to you,” 

“I was fine with it, really. It's not like its the fifteenth century when I’d be forced to consummate- anyway,” Bugsy rubbed her face, “I just got there, and mom put on my veil and told me I’d make a lovely Mrs Hastings, and just the sound of it- I couldn’t-”

“What on earth is going on?” A new voice cut through the BAU, and the group disbanded like kids caught trading answers to the homework. Rossi and Hotch stood by the unit chief’s office, brows furrowed at the wet bride and his team that tended to her as if she were a princess. 

“Should we be expecting four wet bridesmaids too?” Rossi asked, the two of them making the steps down to the floor, approaching the guilty faced woman, noting Spencer’s cardigan wrapped over her shoulders. 

“Nope, just me,” Her joke fell flat as she met the stony face of Aaron Hotchner, who looked thoroughly unimpressed, “Nice to see you again, Mr Hotchner, sir,” 

His gaze slid to Emily, mouth opening to share whatever scathing remark bounced around his mouth, but the younger girl beat him to it, everyone’s eyebrows raising when she all but cut him off. 

“This wasn’t on Emily, sir, I just showed up out of the blue, I can go- I’ll go- I just need to figure out where I’m staying since I left my purse at the church- don’t you worry I’ll be out of your hair, Aaro- sir,” Bugsy stammered, plonking the mug onto Emily’s desk, backing away to the doors of the office, clutching her visitor pass tight in her fist. 

Maybe it was because she looked so hopeless, or maybe it was the way his team shot him the same look of horror he would be so regimental, or maybe even it was the fact part of her reminded him of Sean, only his brother wouldn’t have had the courtesy to apologise for his mess. 

Sighing, he gestured her to come back, “Wait,” He said her name, her government name because the other one didn’t fit right in his mouth, “Reid, get her some clothes out your go bag. Emily, tell your mother she’s safe and will be staying in Quantico until you can figure something out,” 

Heaving a sigh of relief, she launched her still sodden form at the chief, wrapping him in a stiff hug, bolder than anyone else on the team had ever dared to be. 

“I swear to god, Mr Hotchner, the next letter you're getting will be the best one yet,” She mumbled into his hard chest, and he fought off the way the corners of his lips twitched upwards. Patting her on the back gently, he ignored the way his dress shirt wet through. 

–

let me know what you think! mAYBE A FEW MORE PARTS COMING UP ??

Edit: This is a part one of 3 or 4 I have planned, thankyou so much for all the love on this I did not expect the reaction 🥺🥺

SECOND EDIT: part two and three are out now!! Have a look at the top where it says ‘next chpt and it’s there bbys!!

THIRD EDIT: we are now balls deep into this universe here's th link for the masterlist

[rafeandonlyrafe]

grumpy

words: 400

warnings: just rafe being grumpy and sleepy

you started spending every night in rafes bed very early on in your relationship. it wasn't just because you were both so wildly obsessed with each other's bodies, but also because rafe loved to hold you close while he slept, knowing his girl was safe in his arms, allowing him to actually rest.

therefore, you also learned early on that rafe was even grumpier than normal when he was tired.

“baby, just come to bed.” rafe grunted, sitting up underneath the covers as to not fall asleep yet, not until he has you next to him.

“im almost done.” you reply from the attached bathroom, applying your serum to your face, the second to last step in your skincare routine. rafe was usually patient, either waiting in bed or watching you carefully remove your makeup and cleanse.

“hurry up.” rafe complains, his voice whiney. “im tired.”

“go to sleep then silly.” you roll your eyes, using your nail to get moisturizer out of its tin before placing it on your face and carefully rubbing it in, always using upward motions.

you startle when you turn to enter the bedroom and rafe is standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a pout on his face. “you want me to sleep without you?”

“huh?” you question, placing your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them gently as his eyelids flutter, clearly struggling to keep them open.

“you said to fall asleep without you.” rafe says again. “i always sleep holding you.”

“i was going to lay down in like one minute, rafey. it wouldn't actually be without me.” you coo, getting on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. “let's go to sleep, yeah?”

“that's what i was trying to do.” rafe says, but lets you lead him into the bedroom. you lay down, watching rafe get under the covers before flicking the light off.

“come here.” rafe says, opening up his arms as you scooch closer.

“it's so cute how grumpy you get when you are tired.” you hum, pressing a kiss to rafes cheek before lowering your head to his chest, wrapping your arm over his waist.

“shut up.” rafe grunts, further showing off his grumpiness. you simply roll your eyes, knowing he doesn’t mean the harsh words as you throw a leg over his hips to get comfortable.

“y/n?” rafe whispers after a moment of silence.

“what is it baby?” 

“i love you.”

you smile, tightening your arm around his waist in a hug. “i love you too, even when you’re grumpy.”

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so we have like. An unusually high ratio of royalty/nobility among the Jedi. Dooku, Quinlan, Oppo, you can sort of count Adi or Xanatos or Bruck, etc. Lots of Jedi 'just happen' to come from royal, noble, or incredibly wealthy/powerful families.

So from this I want to posit four things:

If a royal family has a Force-Sensitive child, and hasn't had one in generations, they may think that sending that child to the Jedi would be a little like sending a child to join the Catholic Church in the middle ages: you get to influence the political choices of the highest religious power in Europe the Galactic Republic Government. (That said, Dooku was sent to the Jedi because his parents didn't want him and ||left him to die of exposure, basically, so that if the Jedi arrived too late they'd be picking up a baby corpse|| because they were so disdainful of Force-Sensitive individuals, and Quinlan wasn't sent to the Jedi so much as he escaped to them.)

They are all incredibly wrong about this, and royals raised as Jedi generally do not give any more of a shit about their home planets than any other planet. They care, of course, but they are not attached, because they are Jedi. Xanatos was an exception (afaik his dad sent him to the Jedi because he wanted to do the Catholic thing? and then Xanatos lost his mind). (Don't correct me on this, it's not really important if it was actually intended or not.)

This is achieved by way of Jedi from royal backgrounds having a mandatory high-level political class on how to handle royal court politics and general intrigue. It's not exclusive to the royal kids, but it is a prerequisite for them. They usually end up doing their home planets as case studies for capstone projects, in part because

Sometimes the planets try to call their errant royals back. It might be because the planet is struggling and genuinely running out of heirs/needs a change in leadership (Serreno) and it might be because it was the plan all along, but on the off chance that the Jedi decides they HAVE to leave the Order and take up a throne to keep an entire planet from kind of imploding on itself... that royal Jedi has to be ready to play the game. OR if they don't actually think they're REALLY needed there, they have to be trained on how to go, and be polite/avoid getting trapped/play the game until they can get the hell out of there, while also installing that cousin that nobody thought was strong enough but DOES understand how to run the treasury as the new king.

I'm just imagining this like. Very specific set of classes that are open to any Jedi that's taken the necessary prereqs, but is mandatory for people like Quinlan and Dooku and Oppo.

This was inspired by a post of mine that's getting circulated regarding QuinObi stuff and my thoughts about how Quinlan might have needed preventative training in case of political upheavals trying to pull him back to his home planet. I want to mess with the Politics Classes that Quinlan is taking because he has to and Obi-Wan is taking because Qui-Gon said he should.

Qui-Gon: You should take this class because I'm training you up as a negotiator and diplomat, and you will need it to interact with people when brokering trade deals or peace treaties. Tholme: You are taking this class because your aunt is insane and you have to be ready in case she tries to pull you back into the bullshit.

And as @firebirdeternal offered:

Quinlan: God this is the worst. So boring. At least Obi-Wan is stuck here too. Obi-wan: This is fascinating wow, I can't believe I almost didn't get to attend, Quinlan is so lucky he's automatically in these classes.

[jungwnies]

roommate from hell - oscar piastri (4/5)

୨ৎ : pairing : oscar piastri x gn!reader ୨ৎ : synopsis : forced into an accidental roommate situation, oscar and you struggle with clashing habits, sarcastic banter, and unexpected tension…until frustration turns into something much deeper.

୨ৎ : genre : romantic comedy & light angst (barely...) ୨ৎ : tws : forced proximity, mild conflict, emotional tension, and mutual pining. ୨ৎ : wc : 1242

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

You paced around your room, phone pressed to your ear as your friend tried very hard not to laugh at your situation.

"So let me get this straight," they said, their tone already way too smug for your liking. "You overheard Oscar telling Lando that he doesn’t know if something is happening between you two, and now you’re spiraling?"

"I'm not spiraling," you said, stopping mid-step. "I just—Why did I even care what he said? I don’t like him. He doesn’t like me. We’re just… tolerating each other at this point."

Your friend hummed in a way that made it very clear they did not believe you. "Uh-huh. And tell me, when he said he doesn’t know if he feels something, what did you want him to say?"

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out.

That stupid sinking feeling was still sitting in your stomach, the same one that had hit you the moment Oscar didn’t say he felt something. Because, for some reason, you had wanted him to.

You groaned. "I hate this."

"You hate realizing you have a thing for your roommate?"

"He's not—" You paused. "Oh, my God. I don’t have a thing for him."

Your friend snorted. "Right. You just spent the last fifteen minutes freaking out over nothing."

You flopped onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. "I’m not freaking out. I just… Maybe I got used to him being around."

"Uh-huh."

"And maybe it’s kinda nice that we get along now."

"Mhmm."

"And maybe—maybe—it was kinda shitty to hear him sound so unsure about me when I was kinda sure about him."

There was a pause.

Then, finally, your friend said, "Babe, you’re so screwed."

You groaned, rolling onto your stomach. "I know."

You did your best to shake off the whole feelings crisis after that, but something about it still lingered in the background. You weren’t weird around Oscar, but you definitely weren’t normal either.

And it didn’t help that he was completely unbothered. He went about life as usual—making coffee for two without a word, leaving his gym bag in the hallway, making sarcastic remarks at you over dinner. You had convinced yourself that nothing had changed, even though it absolutely had.

The only real difference was that now, you were hyperaware of him.

The way he smelled when he came home after a workout. The way he concentrated when playing some mindless game on his phone. The way he leaned against the counter when talking, all relaxed and casual.

It was fine. It was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

Almost a month had passed since the roommate disaster began, and suddenly, Greg was back in your lives.

It started with an envelope on the counter, casually placed there like it wasn’t about to cause problems.

You stared at it, then at Oscar. "What’s this?"

He didn’t even look up from his phone. "Greg dropped it off while you were out."

You hesitated before picking it up and reading the note attached.

Greg had finally gotten your security deposits back.

Which meant you were no longer stuck in this apartment together.

Which meant if you wanted, you could leave.

Oscar looked up when you went quiet, glancing at the note in your hands. "Oh."

You blinked at him. "Yeah."

Neither of you said anything for a second.

Then, finally, you cleared your throat. "So, I guess this means we don’t have to keep sharing the place if we don’t want to."

Oscar nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Another pause.

Neither of you moved.

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. "Do you… want to move out?"

Oscar’s gaze flickered to yours for just a second before he shrugged. "I don’t know. Do you?"

You didn’t answer right away.

You should have said yes. You should have said you were looking forward to getting your own space again, to not having to deal with the thermostat war or the way he left his shoes directly in front of your door.

But for some reason, you hesitated.

For some reason, you weren’t entirely sure.

"Guess we’ll figure it out," you said finally, setting the envelope back down on the counter.

"Yeah," Oscar said, his voice unreadable. "Guess we will."

The weirdness settled in after that.

Not bad weird. Just… weird.

You noticed how neither of you acknowledged the envelope again after that conversation. It sat on the counter for two days, untouched, like a silent reminder that things had to change but neither of you wanted to be the first to say it.

You still moved around each other in the apartment like normal, still bickered over stupid things, still stole his hoodies, still watched bad reality shows on the couch.

But it felt… different.

Like there was something else hanging in the air between you.

And Oscar noticed.

At first, he didn’t say anything, but you caught him watching you a little longer when you were talking, tilting his head slightly like he was trying to figure something out.

Then, one night, after dinner, he finally said something.

"You’ve been weird lately," he said, watching you over the rim of his water glass.

You nearly choked on your drink. "Excuse me?"

He set his glass down. "You heard me."

You frowned. "I have not been weird."

"You have," he countered, completely unfazed. "You’ve been acting… different. Quieter. Less annoying."

Your face deadpanned. "Less annoying?"

"Yeah." His lips twitched, like he was enjoying this. "Almost like you’ve been thinking too much. And not about how to sabotage my thermostat settings this time."

You scoffed, trying to act casual. "Maybe I just ran out of energy to deal with your deeply flawed way of living."

Oscar leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. "Maybe."

There was a pause.

Then he said, "Or maybe it’s about the deposit letter."

You immediately busied yourself with wiping an already clean spot on the counter. "Why would it be about that?"

Oscar didn’t answer right away. When you glanced up at him, he was watching you carefully.

"You tell me," he said simply.

You felt something in your stomach twist.

For a second, you thought about just admitting it. About saying I don’t know why I haven’t packed my bags yet. I don’t know why I don’t want to.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you forced a smirk, grabbed your cup, and turned toward your room.

"Well," you said over your shoulder, "if you think I’m being weird, you should’ve said something sooner."

Before he could respond, you disappeared into your room, closing the door behind you with a soft click.

You exhaled, leaning against it for a second.

What the hell were you doing?

It was just a lease. Just an apartment. Just a temporary situation that had somehow turned into something too comfortable.

You were supposed to leave.

You were supposed to want to leave.

But now, with the deposit in hand and the option finally there, the idea of not seeing Oscar every day, of not sharing space with him, of not arguing over the smallest things just for the fun of it…

It didn’t feel as easy as you thought it would.

And judging by the way Oscar had been watching you, you weren’t the only one feeling it.

You climbed into bed, forcing yourself to ignore the feeling.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, you’d bring it up.

Maybe.

Or maybe you’d just wait for Oscar to do it first.

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[arabella0001]

Choso and how he doesn’t understand romance, but loves you like it’s all he knows as your man

Choso, who has a hard time expressing his emotions but, when he finally does, his words are bare and unfiltered "I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you."

Choso who never fidgets, never stirs without reason, except when you’re near. Fingers tightening around fabric, gaze flickering toward you before settling elsewhere. A silent battle between restraint and instinct.

Choso, who once rushed to your side after hearing your heartbeat spike in fear, his curse instincts overriding everything else. “You were scared,” he says when he finds you, his expression serious. “I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you.”

Choso who, one time, overheard some guys at a market talking about "smooth pickup lines" and decided to try one. You nearly choked on your drink when, with complete seriousness, he looked at you and said, "Are you a curse? Because you’ve… attached yourself to my soul." He’s so bad at it, but he really tried.

Choso who doesn’t do small talk. If he asks how you’re doing, he means it. If he touches you, even in the smallest way, it’s intentional. No wasted words, no wasted actions—just quiet devotion disguised as indifference.

Choso who is so still, so composed, until you’re involved. You trip, and before you even register what’s happening, he’s already caught you, hands firm around your waist.

Choso, who isn’t one for crowds but will endure them if it means being by your side. His eyes constantly find you in the chaos, his hands almost always on yours, to remind you you’re never alone.

Choso who also listen your heart just because. When you ask why, he just murmurs, “It’s calming. It reminds me you’re alive.”

Choso who also was panicked when your heartbeat was erratic, rushing to find you only to discover you’d been laughing too hard at something silly. He scolded you softly, his cheeks flushed with relief. “Don’t scare me like that,”

Choso who, despite his intimidating presence, is an absolute mess when you flirt with him. You call him pretty and he nearly drops whatever he’s holding. You trace a finger down his arm and he stops breathing for a second.

Choso who can take a hit without flinching, who has stood through battles drenched in blood—yet when you lean in close to fix his collar, his breath stutters. He stiffens like you just hit him with a surprise attack, ears burning as he mutters, “Thank you, Y/N”

Choso who gets flustered in the most cute ways. You brush a loose strand of hair from his face, and his entire body tenses, ears faintly pink. Later that night, he clumsily tucks your hair behind your ear, fingers lingering for a fraction too long. An unspoken attempt at returning the gesture.

Choso who lets you play with his hair, sitting still as your fingers work through it, but the moment you lean down and whisper, “You look good like this,” his face is unreadable, but the deep red on his ears tells you everything.

Choso who is terrifyingly strong but once let you paint his nails because you said it would look cool. He didn’t judge, didn’t complain, just sat there, watching you with an unreadable expression. Later, he asked you to do it everytime you have time.

Choso who struggles with social small talk but absolutely thrives in weird, deep conversations. You joke, "Would you still like me if I was a worm?" and instead of laughing, he frowns, considering it seriously. After a long pause, he nods. "I’d keep you safe."

Choso who doesn’t understand sarcasm at all. You jokingly say, "Wow, thanks for holding the door, real gentleman." He immediately backtracks, opens the door, and stands there stiffly, waiting. When you laugh, he frowns. "You were being serious, right?"

Choso who listens, even when you don’t think he is. You casually mention craving something, and the next day, it’s in your hands. You sigh about being tired, and suddenly, he’s adjusting a pillow behind your back. He won’t say he listens. He proves it instead.

more choso content here

[hollyhomburg]

Hold your Breath (Count to Seven)(2)

(Pack alpha Hoseok focus, Background ot7 x reader, Omegaverse, Forced Caretaking, Omega scarcity au)

୨୧‧₊˚ Summary: Hoseok will never forgive the people who did this too you. Never. his anger comes out in strange ways. His love too.

୨୧ ‧₊˚ Word Count: 14.4k

୨୧ ‧₊˚ Tags: Omegaverse au, omega scarcity, forced caretaking, Dom/sub undertones, dom! jimin x m/c, spanking, Discipline, idol au, Pack alpha hoseok x omega! m/c, Sickfic, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Background ot7 x reader, chronic health issues, themes of trauma, referenced family issues/childhood abuse, healing, Past Medical mistreatment, past neglect, Eventual smut, non-chronological storyline

୨୧ ‧₊˚ A/N: ah well... people said they wanted to see a bit more of dom jimin so~ hopefully this scratches an itch! well :( remember when i told you about my stressful life events that were on the horizon? well they're here <3 i fly out to california tomorrow for my sisters wedding lol watch us go no contact after this. but i wont even care because at least i have bts back lol

First part ~ ‧₊˚ ~ Masterlist

There are no second chances when it comes to omegas.

Although you tend to view what your parents did to you as a simple betrayal, Hoseok can’t see it as anything other than condemning. Abuse, neglect. Take your pick because each makes him equally as angry. Forgiveness is not something that comes to him easily. Is that a flaw or a virtue?

Occasionally they reach out or try to get in contact with you. They ask how you’re doing. Where you’re going, if you're coming home any time soon. Usually with videos at the airport attached and too much hope in their words. They just want to keep track of their daughter. they say. They just want to make sure you’re alright.

Hoseok calls Bullshit on that in a fucking heartbeat.

You’ve been no contact with them for years now. Handing over the burden of contact to Hoseok was an easy concession to make to your pack alpha. Of course, he would handle everything for you. Of course, this was his responsibility.

You’ve asked him to tell you if anyone gets sick if anyone dies, or if they make an effort towards a real apology. You won’t be bothered with the half-measures until then.

You couldn't have imagined our stress at the time. We just wanted to make sure you had the option. Omega's struggle to be free because of the way the world works. You could handle it. We only wanted you to do your best. You don't need an alpha, you've always been strong enough without one. You never needed all the things that other omegas needed anyway

It's my first time having a child- of course all parents make mistakes.

Please refrain from contacting my pack at this time. Any further action on your part will only result in a restraining order. 

You're exactly the kind of alpha we were afraid of.

They have his number and his number only; you only ask to see their texts every now and then. Hoseok only sometimes decides it's safe to show you. It's up to his discretion if you’re too fragile or if you’re only going to use the texts to make yourself feel guilty.

The only contact info they have is Hoseok's and even then, he rarely responds beyond telling them that you're still not ready, that you might never be. He’s only ever polite on your behalf but still sometimes if he's feeling particularly sensitive about the issue of your health he does tell them to fuck off.

That only ever gets a scolding look from you later when you inevitably ask to see their texts and he lets you see. And Hoseok acts scolded even though he can scent that underneath your misery- you're faintly pleased.

You don't have to ask him to defend you. You'll never have to beg for that.

Although you'd said you were perfectly well adjusted to life as an omega when they'd first met you the truth is that while you'd been able to scent and nest like any other omega, your instincts had long gone dormant and quiet. But they're fully awake now, after living with 5 alphas and 2 betas. They ring loud and clear.

You just struggle to listen to them sometimes.

The rest of the pack is on the same page too. The pack is your family in every sense of the world, you don’t need the people who hurt you anymore. Sometimes- the idea of them being your family gets a little tangled with everything else. Omega's need care, they need to be looked after, you know this.

You're not their child, but you are their omega. And that comes with a special set of responsibilities.

They might have reacted a little bit over the top with the mothering at the beginning. All packs go through an adjustment period when an omega gets introduced. You hadn't been theirs for more than half a year before you'd slammed the door in Namjoon's face and called him out on it after a particularly rough day.

But slamming doors is not something that Hoseok allows- not from the pups or from you.

Hoseok was there to mediate, the rest of the pack lingering in the vicinity too. To hear and watch over you. Nervous at the stressed tone of your voice. Taehyung and Jungkook rough house and hassle jin, either helping with dinner or getting in the way of it. Hoseok knows your instinct is to hide. But doing this here in the living room where everyone can see and participate is important.

You need to learn that you don't have to hide from them, that none of you, not your needs or your intentions- are too much for them.

Your omega is never going to feel safe and docile with all of them unless you stop hiding it.

So You and Namjoon sit on opposite ends of the couch. Jimin there in the armchair ready for your inevitable punishment. Hoseok will let him take the reigns in this and will let Jimin have this. The whole pack has been on edge all day. Has been able to sense that you're close to breaking- it's only Namjoon's luck that he'd been caught in the crossfire.

Having Jimin do the punishing has several Uses. One- Jimin needs it, and two- as a beta he'll be able to get you down more gently than any of the alphas. You'd get scared at the feeling of your instincts take over and it would have the opposite of the intended effect. If Namjoon brought you down into omega space you might go down so quick and drop so suddenly it would be scary. It wouldn't feel like a choice at all and it wouldn't be comforting.

let alone if Hoseok was the one to do it. If he ever dared to use alpha voice on you you might pass out. You need to understand that you need this, just as much as they do.

Hoseok will handle the aftermath- will tuck the alpha and you under either arm and soothe you later. He's watchful and prepared to step in if you need him. sitting in the chair legs splayed wide and inviting. fingers tapping out a rythem on the chair leg as he watches you squirm under the weight of so many eyes.

He's getting a bit better at letting the others handle you. They need this- to watch and make you submit just as much as Hoseok does.

Jimin sits, legs crossed, leaning his chin on his hand, watching and waiting for Namjoon and you to finish arguing. 

"You're not my father Namjoon, I don't want you to act like my fucking dad when you're my partner. I get that sometimes- you have these instincts- but it doesn't make me feel good." You're close to tears, eyes suspiciously glassy. Your head feels fuzzy but panicky like everything is happening faster than you can handle it. Leaving you overwhelmed and off kilter.

You glance at Hoseok, and he stares back impassively. Rubbing a finger across his bottom lip- but he won't intervene unless you actually do cry or you ask him too. You're just starting to learn to trust your instincts. To understand why your breath goes even around him and why things are easier to sort through when he's touching you- either with a hand on the small of your back or holding yours so delicately- like you're fragile.

The others understand but you don't. you've never had a pack alpha before. He's the only pack alpha you've ever known.

There is apart of him more wolf than man, that loves that fact. That he's your first and your only pack alpha, If Hoseok can help it.

And Hoseok is helping, that's what this is. Mediating. Making sure you adjust to the pack and the pack adjusts to you. Hoseok is here just as Jimin is as pack beta- to make things go smoothly.

It's strange. Growing up you'd been treated so often like you were strong. industructible no matter what. Any cold or sickness was met with a snear that you were tougher than that. Strong despite your shakiness, strong despite the fact that when pushed you broke. Strong like your weakness was ever something you could conquer. No matter how many times you told people you couldn't- that you couldn't stay awake to study, that you couldn't run any faster- that you couldn't try any harder without it hurting- they never listened.

But now everything's changed- the pack are almost too gentle with you. Too aware of just how fragile you can be sometimes. You like to act independent. You even might need to sometimes (Hoseok is not so convinced that you actually need independance or if you just feel like you need it). And while they'd never stop you they are always hovering a little. It's easier sometimes- but right now-

Right now it feels stifling. Right now it feels like you can't breath. Like something very bad is going to happen if you take too much- like they'll find out it's not worth it. That you're not enough. You lean away from Namjoon when he speaks, and you can see the hurt in his eyes as you do it. Can see that Jimin's eyes darken in disapproval, posture stiff.

But your skin feels like it's going to crawl off your body and leave you fleshy and exposed. Something fights to claw out of your chest. And no breath comes easy.

Until you look at Hoseok.

You're not sure where your anger comes from or if it even is anger at all. Afraid, you know you're a bit afraid of Namjoon, but afraid of what you can't say. You know that his controlling behavior isn't exactly why but you're too worked up to care. Maybe you've never been both afraid and safe before. Maybe you don't trust them to keep you safe.

A deep voice whispers in Hoseok's ear, hidden and telling. His desires and impulses dark and not to be shared. You don't trust them to handle everything for you.

Yet.

Hoseok waits, Hoseok reclines in the chair and watches. Namjoon's voice is deep and calm. Rational. You're the only one getting worked up here, but thats okay. All of this is okay.

"Our lives are all very controlled, they have to be to get to the level that we are. But we need to look after each other. I won't be made out to be some sort of monster when all I'm trying to do is make sure you take care of yourself. You can't expect me not to treat you the same way I treat the others."

"Now that's some bullshit. You treat me like-" your voice warbles, and Hoseok gives it another 10 seconds before he intervenes. "I might be your omega but I'm not some sort of pet. You never tell the others what they can and can't eat or do so why am I-"

Hoseok holds up his hand, stopping your train of thought. For what it's worth you instantly fall silent. Your shaking stops just a little at the show of dominance, at obeying. Your body wants it even if your mind struggles to comprehend it. It's like you're trying to listen to your omega and your instincts but you just can't hear them.

You need a push. And Hoseok is very gentle. Gentle enough to do the pushing.

Hoseok heart breaks a little at your overall posture, shoulders curled. In a big sweater of Yoongi's because you're feeling cold- even though it's spring and the house is kept at a comfy 70 deg for your comfort. Like you want your alpha's scent as close as possible even though they're right there. Like you don't trust them to stay.

That is their fault too. Comeback season can be stressful for you. Long hours and longer absences. This Hoseok knows. They'd finished a few days ago and they're home all the time now. It's a little bit of a whiplash for you and your omega. Going from feeling neglected to feeling stifled.

"Namjoon does do all of those things to us, it's his job as leader." You'd looked to Yoongi in the doorway suddenly.

He shrugs. "Things get stressful. Pack's like- exist to make sure we're all taken care of. I'd listen to any of them if they told me that I needed to rest. And it wouldn't matter who said it- if it was you or Hobi- I'd still listen." Yoongi being stern isn't something you're completely used to not yet. "And I'd do it without being a brat." Your breath hitches and you look away. 

Jimin scoffs, "just barely."

''Okay fine, I do it without being a brat to Hobi. You're lower in the hierarchy than I am and Joonies my equal."

"That's better." Jimin is satisfied. Voice a pur. But you find no comfort in Jimin's tone, or to him Nodding along to yoongi's words like it makes perfect sense. "You decide your boundaries, but we'll always step in if we feel you're being unsafe. You can't ask us not to do that."

Hobi had nodded, supplied. "You can always push back." He'd thought on it a minute more. "As long as you do it without being mean or hurtful."

With that Jimin had held his hand and beckoned for you, and your expression had turned nervous. "I didn't mean-"

"No buts pup. You know slamming doors is not something we do here. You almost hit Joonie in the face."

You look to Hoseok, double checking with him. "It doesn't matter that it was an accident." When you still don't move, Hoseok humms. "Do you need me to do your punishment today pup? Or will you let jiminie do it>"

"I want to do it." he says, just in case you need the reassurance. While the whole pack take their own turns disciplining you- certain members gravitate to it more organically. Namjoon- like Hoseok- struggles not to be overly gentle with you but Jimin has no such qualms.

You stay silent for a moment and Hoseok is about a second from making the choice for you before you get up slowly, tentatively moving in Jimin's direction. Not before looking back at Hobi for his approval.

Hoseok nearly wants to purr. His alpha already pacing- telling him look and see- you're already learning how to be good. How to obey not just him but the packmates too. He knows listening to your omega will only get easier over time so long as they keep showing you like this.

"But I said I was sorry and he forgave me for that." Namjoon had rubbed his nose. But none of them had moved, even though you're transitioning from discussion to punishment.

They all might like it a bit too much, watching Jimin handle you. It's ever so sweet the way you go down for the beta. Betas might have a lack of instincts- but they also make others come out.

"No buts."

You'd tentatively stood between Jimin's legs, the beta's hands smoothing up and down your waist, "take a deep breath honey. this isn't supposed to be scary."

"i know" but you still sound unsure. Hoseok had crossed his legs to watch, hiding a small smile behind his clasped hands. He might not be able to handle disciplining you himself quite yet- always too worried about being rough- but watching his pack get what they need under his watchful eye is something he greatly enjoys.

Especially with the way you squirm and eventually go docile. One day soon you won't fight your nature. The pack just has to get you there and get you used to this.

Your lower lip quivers, "I didn't mean to."

"We know. You're so good, you always take your settling like a good pup too."

Jimin's lips had looked awfully plush pressed to your knuckles. Kissing there once, then your wrist. Sliding the sleeve of your sweater up and over your elbow. Tipping his feet inward around your heels so that they trap you there between them. Squeezing your hips gently.

He kisses your elbow. "Now, would you rather I do it or Joonie?"

You stiffen, imperceptibly but it's there. "Would there be a difference?" Namjoon's eyes soften, and he shuffles just a little bit closer.

All of this bratting out and this disobedience is not in your nature. This is something that Hoseok knows deep down. It's all because alone you are unsafe. An omega alone in the world is a dangerous thing and you need the reminder of them close to feel their presence and their dominance. You weren't getting that, didn't know how to ask for it, and that's why you felt the need to act out.

You can be alone- you can be a perfectly functioning member of society without the pack but deep down, independence is not what you want or what you need.

Jimin hums thoughtfully considering your request, his other hand plays absentmindedly with the hem of your shorts. Slipping under. Rings flashing. Massaging you there a little, already warming you up. Your breath hitches.

"I think if Joonie does it, you'll only get 20. But if you ask for me- then it's 30."

Hoseok knows what he's doing, letting you choose, giving you a small amount of choice just to make you go down easier. You'd hovered, unsure. Stuttering. Seconds away from crumbling.

"Is it going to be here or- or-" You can't finish the sentence, and Jimin grins a little meanly. He likes making you say it. Likes it even more when you shy away.

"Is it going to be over your ass or pussy you mean? Your spanking?"

You squirm and Hoseok tips his legs wider, feeling himself grow hard. The whole house is silent, the sound of Jungkook and Taehyung roughhousing with Jin in the other room quieting to listen.

Jimin hums thoughtfully tugging down your pants and turning you around, practically making you twirl for them, you shuffle uneasily. Blushing too hard to meet Hoseok and Namjoon's eyes as they sit and watch. Keeping your legs tight together. Yoongi just kicks his hip against the doorframe and settles in.

Jimin appraises each, pinching you hard enough to make you jump. He wraps an arm around your waist, hand trailing down your stomach and then lower. Humming contemplatively.

"I think Joonie should be the one to choose. Hyung?"

~-~

It hadn't taken the pack long to realize that while you say you don't need parenting- you sort of do. The lines blur sometimes between being a Packmate and being a caretaker. It's hard to give you exactly what you need. Their instincts tell them to do things that aren't always straightforward.

So when your full-blooded parents reach out and ask for you, he makes the effort to tell them to fuck off it in a polite way. Mentioning lawyers and international omegan rights associations. And reminds them that they’re lucky they’re not in prison for what they did to you.

Your healing is something that Hoseok takes very very seriously.

All that pain and damage is a world away, not in this country and as far from you as Hoseok can make it. After finding out you were an omega you'd gone as far as you could from where you grew up, from all the people that knew you as a beta. Escaping into anonymity. Disappearing because you didn't know who to trust and how to be you anymore.  

Hoseok doesn’t like to think of you alone and afraid and adjusting on your own. But that’s what you’d been before them- alone. Coping and just barely. (This is not entirely true, you’d had a few years of light-hearted struggle sure. But the world supports omega’s at the very least, your struggle had been mostly internal- not that that makes it any better).

They're still dealing with the effects of their actions years later, not only psychologically. (You still struggle sometimes, too used and too comfortable with your independence, the pack does its best to let you keep your small freedoms within the confines of what they’re willing to allow. All to keep you safe, happy, and healthy.)  

But physically your health has never been steady.

They've taken you to omega specialist to omega specialist. Immunologist to immunologist. Each of them had recommended the same thing: time to adjust and closeness to your alphas. Regular scenting and exposure to dominance to get your body functioning as it should.

No less than 6 hours of recommended nesting time per day. More than the usual recommended 4 or the bare minimum 2 for omegas. Less than two hours of nesting daily would get the OHS (Omegan Health Services) called on any pack. Famous or not.

Omega's immune systems biologically need closeness with others. Mostly to soothe and help regulate body temperature and metabolism. Other omega nestmates would be ideal, but to be fair, having your betas on either side of you, stuck between Jiminie and Jin like a happy little sandwich does the trick most days.

But it also reminds you of other less happy times. Sometimes it's the alpha's you reach for because Jimin and Jin, as lovely as they are...

They bring up bad memories.

Your beta parents had suppressed your omega nature in two ways; By keeping you away from alpha’s and by feeding you large doses of suppressants every day or several times a day- to arrest your omegan nature.

Hoseok’s not sure what they planned on doing, if they were going to keep you hidden forever or just until you were old enough to understand and make the choice to be a beta on your own.

There were some parts of being an omega that were harder to suppress; even given their efforts. You have distant memories of it. Fond memories even if you wish they weren’t. Cuddling between the two of them in their bed finally finally feeling safe. The way they’d hold your hand carefully crossing the street. Drying your eyes after a skinned knee.

You don’t know if these things matter to you because you’re an omega or just because you miss the people who once claimed to love you.  

You’ve told him the story a handful of times. The pups only once. Hobi, Yoongi, and Namjoon know more because they'd had questions. Hoseok thinks about it more often than he'd ever admit to you. Namjoon too has the tendency to ruminate.

You'd grown suspicious over the years that the bitter drinks you were fed every morning were not keeping you healthy but instead making you sick beyond repair. You were never able to run as fast as the other beta’s during recess, always the slowest, always the shortest, always the smallest. Written up for sleeping in class.

Your body started to reject the smoothies the older you got, you'd vomit them up on accident. The bitter tang strange. Medicinal. The more determined your natural biology was to push through the worse you'd felt. You remember being in class, reprimanded for falling asleep again- trying to pick up your pencil only to have it fall to the floor. Your hand shaking too hard to hold it.

A tremor that you still occasionally get to this day. A tremor that omega’s only get if they undergo scent deprivation and instinct neglect. A syndrome carefully outlined for all alphas and beta’s once they go through omegan education in primary school.

You’d been given that too. You're smart. You’d started to connect the dots.

Certain things never added up about your childhood. You were sent to an all-beta school and your parents lived in a remote area. Your nearest neighbors miles and miles away. Why did they move from the city shortly after you’d been born? Why were they recluses now when before they'd hopped from city to city? They don't even let you go shopping with your friends or to the store with them on your own.

They teach you languages you'll never use, educate you more and more- and push you harder and harder. They never let you rest or sleep past a certain time in the morning.

They never let you nest.

You always went to a 'family friend' for blood tests. You always had doctors come to your house and not the other way around. There have always been glances given over your head, knowing looks that you are kept ignorant of. Tense conversations overheard, disdainful looks when you ask for larger clothing or when you ask for affection or when you ask for anything.

When you need anything.

It got clearer the closer it got to falling apart. Your mother freaked out after you went to a friend’s house after school. A friend who had an alpha for a father. The next morning, your father had grown panicked when you’d forgotten your morning breakfast smoothie, had driven all the way to school to give it to you. He hadn’t left until he’d watched you drink it all.

“You need to listen to me. I know you don't understand right now but this is very very dangerous for you if you don't do everything I say. You'll lose everything we've ever given you.”

You’d stopped taking them secretly, just to confirm your suspicions. Under the full assumption that you’d been making it all up in your head and that a week of skipped breakfast would hardly cause a cataclysm.

But it had only taken a few short days before you’d collapsed at school and been rushed to the hospital, not your first heat but a pseudo one.

Alpha’s- there are alpha’s here. You’re not supposed to be around alphas, are you? There are police here too. A lot of people. maybe twenty looking after you. you don't want your parents to see. they'll probably be mad at you for getting sick again.

Federal agents look so funny in their suits and badges. Talking to the doctor in the doorway when you can't give a coherent statement. Why are you making these noises? These purrs and chirps and squeaks. Why do you need fluids? Why is the bed around you big and deep and plush? Why is there a hospital guard at the doorway and why are you in the omegan wing of the hospital?

You don't belong here, you try to tell them. Try to be good and get out of here even though you're almost too weak to get off of the bed. the walls are so steep and you are so so small. they catch you before you fall onto the floor.

But no ones angry at you. not for being too weak to get out of bed.

You're cooed at and gently but firmly placed back in the bed. You don't think it's a bed actually, you think it might be a nest. But you're not sure you've never seen one before.

You're in no shape to fight.

A kind-looking beta man with grey hair grips your hand across the bedspread asking you to recite everything you know about omega’s once you're lucid. Everything you’ve learned in school. nodding until you start to understand.

You snatch your hand back from his touch. Scared of it. "We thought you'd be more comfortable with a beta social worker rather than an alpha or another omega. But I can get someone else if you're dissatisfied."

“No, that can’t be. I’m a beta. I’ve always been a beta. There must be some sort of mistake.” 

"I don't want to press charges. Please. Tell me what I have to say for things to go back to normal."

"No…You're right…I don't want to see them. But I don't have anywhere else to go."

"You do have a place to go, we here at the OHS only want to help omega's thrive. You more than qualify for government assistance."

You’d been removed from the home and placed directly in OHS housing. A safe building meant for omegas that needed healing with separate sterile apartments and on-call medical staff.

It had been a bit of an adjustment- but a lot of the omegas there were young like you and a lot of them came from worse situations.

Omegan trafficking. kidnapped. Hidden like you but without seeing sunlight. those omega's who sit out in the garden and cry and cry and cry because they're free now. Some of them bear the marks of abuse too- Noses and scent glands burned out. Hardly able to speak or look into a beta's eyes without shaking let alone an alphas.

By the end of the first week, you start to realize that you'd been very very lucky. It doesn't make you any less angry. Things could have been worse but- your family could have also just...not done that to you. That's the worst part isn't it? They could have chosen to love you but they just...didn't. They chose to be hateful instead because that was easier than even trying to give you what you want.

No, not want. Need.

Alphas are…strange. You collect facts about them. The one who guards the front door of the building isn't scary even if he does carry a gun. He will sneak sweets if you ask nicely. Enough that brightly colored wrappers litter the bottom of your nest. There are cameras in the hallways but they don't care if you move about freely so long as you do it before curfew.

The alpha that runs the kitchen always says yes to second portions of ice cream if you take more veggies too. If you leave your sweater unbuttoned the pretty alpha with long shaggy hair that watches you walk through the gardens will grip your elbow over the small stream and tell you about the schedule- about things you can ask for.

Like a computer and a stereo system for your apartment, like for outings with armed guards. She tells you that although the world is safe enough for omegas, Those at the OHS just want to be sure nothing happens to these omegas since you've already been through so much.

At least they smell good.

And they almost always do everything you ask when you work up the courage to talk to them. They're bigger than you and the beta's. Stronger. Gentle giants capable of picking you up and heaving you over their shoulder if you try to shout or fight. You don't try that- but some of the other omegas do.

They're…a little wild. Some of them. You know what it feels like to be backed into a corner. How thoughts and feelings rush at you- instincts. Are those instincts?

You hear some of the others whisper about omegas that have gone feral or nearly feral. You only see it once. An omega bites down on an alpha shoulder, drawing blood. You've seen blood before, you're not sure why it makes you want to duck behind another alpha, careful to gather you and the gaggle of other omega's, a small boy, younger than you and mute pressed into your spine for safety.

This omega isn't in trouble. They'd just refused to go to the showers for the 3rd night in a row. And there are certain things like hygiene that your caretakers are very very firm about. But the alpha hardly flinches.

"That was a really good bite! It even stung a little! You're getting so much stronger- I'm so so proud. How about some bubble bath as a reward?"

You do envy their pain tolerance and their tolerance for discomfort a little.

It's a newfound sense of power. You ask, and they fulfill the request. That's an alpha's job, isn't it? Beta's are harder to manipulate. But if you outline exactly why you want your request they're usually a little bit amenable.

Unless that request is for more screen time, or to stay up later, or to take an extended run around the compound instead of taking your afternoon nap, to forgo the sunscreen, or to exercise beyond just lifting stupid 2lb dumbells. There are certain things that they won't allow no matter how much you ask.

It’s not quite the death sentence that your family seems to think it is. They’d always talked down on omegas in front of you. Always said they were lazy and spoiled and that the government did too much for them. But you’re not spoiled and you try not to be lazy. You’re always up and moving.

That's part of the problem.

The alphas and betas at the OHS don't seem to like it when you try and help them stack chairs or help clear the tables, or help with the other omega's moving their things upstairs. You get scolded for lifting boxes, for giving up your blanket during movie time, for not telling someone that the shoes provided where giving you blisters.

It's hard for you to understand that you don't need to be helpful, you don't need to earn affection here. That the bruises on your knees and your blisters actually are cause for concern and they're not faking it when they tell you that you need to be careful.

The endpoint here isn't control. The endpoint is safety. For you to understand just how to fulfill your own needs and keep yourself safe until you have an alpha (or ideally a whole pack of them) to do that for you.

There are placement agencies. High-end alphas in Louis Vuitton shoes that bring gifts and paperwork and the promise of wealthy packs with them once a week. Some of the omegas take them up on that offer.

You usually avoid the atrium when they're in, the only part of the building available to outsiders so long as they pass through the scanners and are supervised. It's supervised visitation only. You meet with your social worker once a week to decide if you're ready to see your parents to talk to them.

You never are.

You're Unsure about what exactly you want your life to look like now that you're free. Now that you're new.

Omegan Health Services is just about the only government agency that’s properly funded- and you were well taken care of as a result. It's not all bad. It feels a bit like summer camp maybe. The Arts and crafts are fun, the nesting lessons are a bit annoying (you can never seem to get it right, never satisfied with your work, always an overachiever). Doctors visits and mental health check-ins. Nutrition classes.

But the scenting lessons.... those you don't mind.

You didn’t like nesting back then, didn’t understand it. An older omega who smells like honey comes and sets one up for you in your little apartment once a week. Cupps your cheek and asks if you'd like to try and make one on your own this time.

There's no there to teach you how to be obedient because contrary to what you’ve been told- that’s not an omega’s only purpose. Omegas have a purpose beyond what you’re learning, although it’s hard to put a pin on what exactly their value is.

But they had confined you to a nest, scruffing the back of your neck, when you’d tried to stay up for a full 12 hours like before. A normal amount of time you said, you could handle it. Why would you need a nest when you've never had one before?

Honestly, part of you finds it a bit ridiculous at first.

“Would you please try? For me? It would make me very very happy if you'd nap for me.”

What's stranger is how you can tell the alpha is happy when you put your head down, you can smell it in the air, a deep sweetness, the kind that makes you get goosebumps and makes your toes feel all fuzzy. It feels good to make them feel good. Feels better when you ask to try and scent them- and get more of that on you.

You'd slept for 3 days straight after that. It was like your body finally understood what it needed, finally understood that it didn't have to go without anymore.

Just after your first heat, your hormones had leveled out. You’d stayed on hormones until the doctors at the OHS had verified that no, your body hadn't sustained life-threatening permanent damage beyond a relatively weak immune system- susceptible even for an omega. Your parents had been charged with omega endangerment and narrowly avoided prison time thanks to your testimonial.

That was as much forgiveness as you were capable of.

But too soon, you'd been 18, on your own and unprotected with placement agencies and every alpha that you'd ever come in contact with breathing down your neck and intent on wooing you. You were given everything you’d ever needed by the omegan protection program. A small apartment. Food and clothing budget. Weekly check-ins by your social worker just to make sure that your living situation is still stable. That you haven't traded your nest (admittedly a little sparse) for a bed, that you haven't lost weight, and that you're still sleeping enough.

You're a good omega. For a while, you keep your sink empty of dishes. Your laundry hamper always half full. Your teeth stay brushed and so does your hair. You don't leave your apartment much. Too nervous, too worried, too afraid.

Too omega, it's all too new.

The OHS might have given you the bare bones, But what you wanted to do with the rest of your time was up to you. Of course, you could go to school as you initially planned, almost every college has an omega's only program, most omega's don't apply for things like neuroscience or pre-med track. You toy with the idea, feeling like something of a test subject yourself to meet with guidance admins and even the head of a college.

"It's not every day that we get potential omegan students. and i understand that you're technically a ward of the OHS but-"

"Technically."

"Yes well- I'd like to personally take you under my wing even if that is the case."

You were too used to being independent, too scared to trust anyone just yet after such a betrayal. Despite winning what many people think of as the genetic lottery your life still feels...

Sour. Empty. Scary.

You'd trade all of it for what you had back. For the lack of betrayal (a small part of you tells you that you might not have minded it at all if you'd never found out. You might not have cared that you were being mistreated at all. You might never have realized it beyond them being the idea of 'harsh parents'

You wish you’d had a family that understood you, that wanted you just as you are- but that’s not always possible. You’d show them- you’d decided that you could be an omega and be independent. Those two things didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. You don’t need a pack yet. You might not ever even want one. You’d cast out a net in a wide range of searches to find a job- a big city, where most omega's live, where you can settle in among the masses, where you won't be that abnormal. Any job will due.

Maybe even in another country.

Becoming a professional scenter is an easy avenue for omegas banking on some modicum of financial independence. They’re always needed and they’re always compensated well- if the job isn't a little emotionally demanding.

It didn’t matter that you’d never scented anyone in your life before you'd been found out, that you could hardly even hear your instincts at all thanks to what had been done to you- you are wanted all the same. Scenters are in such high demand that the fact that you had no experience wasn't even a facet of your interview.

It’s easier for you to follow your natural inclinations now after years of practice and the pack's careful guidance. But Hoseok still burns with the knowledge that it should have been easy for you. It shouldn’t have been hard and he will make everything else in your life easy to apologize.

“Hobi, you’re being silly. You didn’t even know me.”

“But still-” instincts aren’t always straightforward, they don’t always make sense.

You didn't just apply to idol companies either. You'd landed first at a tech start-up and then at a hospital (which hadn't been the right fit- too much stress for you, too many people that were too sick for your weak immune system to be exposed too). You'd worked at several different establishments before landing at BigHit.

By the time you met them, you’d realized what you liked. The more freedom the better.

Omegas are naturally smaller and slighter than betas or alphas. Jimin is the only one truly close to your size, and even then, he’s still almost a foot taller than you and man-handles you with ease. None of them struggle with a princess carry or (Taehyung and Namjoon's favorite) a straight up bear hug.

Because of your upbringing, you’d always looked a little more ashen, a little weaker than the typical omega. It was enough to tug on even the most reasonable alpha's heartstrings and make their instincts go a little haywire. Even ones that had the privilege of growing used to an omega’s company.  

Hoseok had noticed, because Hoseok always notices.

It’s not all that uncommon for a single workplace to hire an omega to work as a scenter. It’s especially common in the idol and model industry. Omega's are either found through placement agencies that charge a pretty penny in finders fee, scouted off the street, or through omegan protective services.

There are certain guidelines. Certain rules. They’d had it drilled into their heads as young impressionable alphas not to overstep.

An employer must provide comprehensive nesting materials and launder them twice weekly. An omega is not allowed to scent more than 15 people per day or work more than 25 hours in a given week. If they say they don’t want to scent a person that’s final. Omegas aren’t to be coerced into allowing anyone into their chosen nest. Disobeying an order from an omega is grounds for immediate termination because if the company loses its designation as a safe haven omegan employment opportunity- then that’s it.

There are no second chances when it comes to omega’s.

And yet despite these rules and regulations set out by the government they are an easily negotiated expense. Hoseok hadn’t been exactly resistant to the idea of bringing someone new into their orbit again or re-incorporating worktime scenting into the pack’s schedule and care plan but he hadn't been exactly ecstatic at the process either.

Was the company really established enough to support an omega full-time? Could they handle the stress of adjustment to someone new and juggle that with the stress of tours and promotions and shows? It's easier probably- if this omega isn't hired specifically for them as the last one had. It's probably for the best if this omega has more broad overarching responsibilities.

But certain factors had led him to agree even if he was tentative. Jimin had been looking so skinny- enough to set even the most respectful pack alpha on edge. Hoseok hadn’t even been pack alpha for that long either. Maybe two years at most.

Namjoon might lead the group in public but everyone could tell by just a simple look that it was Hoseok who really held the reigns. Who counted heads and double-checked the placement of a finger, a foot, a kiss. Who gripped the back of Namjoon’s neck when it became clear that the translators needed to do their jobs.

You were brought in during one of the usual monthly company meetings. All the heads of staff and Namjoon as group leader gathered in one big room, along with Hoseok and the designated pack alphas of the new groups not yet debuted.

Although Hoseok has taken a special interest in Chaewon and Soobin and taken them under his wing He knows that things might happen beyond the company's control- like what happened with him and Namjoon. Pack alpha and group leader are two separate titles. Two separate sets of responsibilities that often overlap.

But they're all starting to realize that Bangtan will always be the special case. They’re the model to emulate sure- but they’re also the exception to the rule. More than one pack has fallen apart because more than one alpha wanted to lead.

This building is still new to them, the freedom that comes with making the kind of money that they do now is new too. Namjoon hasn't even properly set up his studio yet and Yoongi is still insisting he can set up his furniture all on his own. Jungkook still does their laundry even though they could have it sent out. They don't have time for any of this.

Taehyung got lost on the way to practice the other day and had to hone in on them by scent alone. Jungkook is supposed to go into a rut in a few weeks right before an award show, if his usual rut schedule keeps, all of them can feel it coming. Hoseok has many more things on his mind than a new omega in their vicinity.

But that changes when you enter the meeting room.

Hoseok isn't thinking of a new omega and the possibilities that come with it when you walk into the room, he's only thinking of the veritable mountain of to-dos on his list after this meeting. There are several personal and public matters that require his attention and his job as pack alpha never ends.

There's a consult for Yoongi's shoulder surgery later that afternoon. And Namjoon had asked for his opinion on some rap lyrics. Jimin had asked for his eye on some new choreography and a meeting with the pack's dietician. And then after that, a meeting with an architect for their new pack house, something specially designed and renovated, more problems, reinforced steel beams, and the question that everyone was avoiding asking-

If the pack would like an omega nest room included in the plans.

On the outside, no one would ever expect Hoseok to be stressed, but he's three coffees in and not even halfway through his to-do list for the day. Namjoon knows, his hand is gripping the Hoseok’s knee under the table, a settling touch, a touch that says that if he needs- Namjoon can handle this.

But everything, everything in Hoseok's brain goes quiet at the sound of a knock on the door.

Biologically all omegas are pretty to alphas, it's just instinct and conditioning. Hoseok knows this as he stands with everyone at your entrance. It’s just biology that makes them all seem this way- delicate and gentle. Pretty in the way that small fragile flowers are pretty. The kind of thing that’s so small and cute that you just want to hold it to your chest and protect it. It’s not quite cute aggression but not far from it either.

So precious you think that if you touch them, you'll hurt them.

Hoseok thinks you might be unfairly pretty for an omega, enough that he does a bit of a double take. Looking up at you, then dropping into a bow a beat off from the others. He's not the only one, Namjoon's posture instantly straightens, even Bang Si-Hyuk at the head of the table stops tapping his pen and stands to shake your hand.

It's near-instantaneous, the way that the room falls into a hush, you aren't the first omega scenter that Bighit has hired- although usually- a scenter is a privilege only afforded to the pack during comeback season or stressful stretches of production where everything seems stalled. And even then- single sessions are much more reasonable.

But the company has more resources now, more resources that come with things like younger groups and world tours and now- a full-time scenter. Instantly Hoseok notices how you hold your head high regardless of the stares, simultaneously strong and vulnerable, trusting but cautious.

His alpha, usually controlled on a short leash, lifts its head and sniffs at the air.

By the window, Mr. Lee traces your movement across the room with his eyes as the CFO outlines the ideal schedule regarding scenting. How the online portal will function with time slots booked out at a dozen different times per day for multiple alpha sessions or single ones, less if you feel you're overwhelmed.

You'll be free to roam around the building whenever you desire for all other times, moving from space to space without the hassle of locked doors. Even just having an omega's scent circulating through the HVAC system will boost productivity by an estimated 11%.

Having the freedom to choose where you'll nest will only add to that. the last of them should be set up by the end of the day. There will be 4 on every floor and one in each practice room. If you like a spot that doesn't have one all you have to do is ask and they'll move it. This is something that would normally be left up to a regular manager but the CFO had insisted that he be personally responsible for your 'matriculation' as he puts it.

Hoseok doesn't like it one bit. He's not the only one, Mr. Lee subtly steps forward and Namjoon's jaw ticks. As the CFO is an alpha, and 10 years older than him and 15 years older than you. But it's all outlined in your contract, work hours, and obligations.

Boundaries. Boundaries are a good thing.

Seokjin had asked to read it over a few weeks later, just to make sure there was no possible way you could be taken advantage of. There are so many new people around these days. New support staff, new stylists, new trainees.

But Bangtan is the breadwinner here, Namjoon and Hoseok are on the board and this is a big decision. It's reasonable- isn't it? That the people who built the company would double check and would make sure that a new very important employee wasn't being taken advantage of.

There was no way the pack alpha of the largest group in the industry was going to hire an omega without putting in the legwork. Of course, Hoseok had put Jin up to it. But still- your photo on your application did not do you justice.

You blush at the CFO's praises, and at his insistence that your freedom to go where you feel you're needed in the company was of paramount importance a little over the top even to Hoseok’s ears. Your scent sweetens a little. Not necessarily in the way that indicated arousal or anything untoward like that, but the type of scent that indicates ease and comfort and that omega is feeling safe.

Namjoon's lips part to breathe in more of it. It's so strange to Hoseok's system that he gets a little hazy-headed, missing the next thing you say, your introduction, most of it. Blood roars in his ears as he watches you.

You’d been drawn into this company for several reasons, one being the generous pay- almost twice as much as the industry standard and the overall description. You have the power to reject scenting sessions if you’re not feeling up to it, and the medical benefits are complete (as if the government-provided omegan care wasn’t top class- not every country provides it, but you’re not used to Korea, not yet.) Your schedule is up to you, the PTO is unlimited.

And they’re not even going to make you do paperwork.

If you’re not actively in a session with someone their only request is that you nest around the building if you feel comfortable enough to not do it in private. Other than that, you have an office with a TV and dimmable shades if you feel like taking a nap.

Hoseok should check that office, make sure it's in a well traveled and easily available place should anything happen- near a fire escape hopefully, closer to the ground floor just incase but not on the ground floor in the event of intruders either- Hoseok should-

Your eyes flicker to Hoseok's only once, and a jolt goes through his body. Barely managing to resist the urge to loose a growl. Namjoon's hold on Hoseok’s knee goes hard enough to bruise.

You are not necessary for the rest of the meeting, although you sit two people off from Bang Sihyuk, a few spaces to Hoseok’s left, in the corner of his eye but drawing over half his focus. Hoseok isn’t easily distracted; he’s not easily swayed.

If this is what it’s going to be like. He’s going to need to exercise his self-control and become its master very very quickly. He cannot do this job without absolute discipline- absolute focus- absolute-

You’re mostly quiet, why are you that way? Is something not to your liking? Did you eat? It's awfully early for an omega to be awake. Do you have someone who might mind that? Someone to look after you and keep you from waking up too early. If you have an alpha- they must be a good one, they must have the epitome of self-control to allow you to work so early in the day regardless of how it must tug on their instincts. The same way they're tugging on Hoseok's right now.

You do look a little sleepy. Maybe Hoseok should offer you his sweatshirt or perhaps guide you to his studio and the comfy deep couches or-

It doesn't end up being the most productive of meetings. Hoseok spends most of the time trying to work up the courage to say something to you. Ask your opinion on the comeback colors (He's worried he doesn't look good in pink), literally anything. Trying to untangle his words from his instincts enough to not sound like an asshole who thinks omega's can't handle themselves. Time running out and Hoseok is making a shit first impression. He can tell.

You don’t leave before bowing (something that instantly sends off alarm bells in Hoseok’s head). He almost wants to tell you that there's no need but he just stays silent. He's going to beat himself up over this for ages- he's such a fool. He can't even say hello. Heart rate elevated. Mind rambling. Hands shaking so hard that he has to grip the back of Namjoon's neck to keep from trembling all over the place.

What the fuck is going on.

Your Korean is a little stilted, but Hoseok doesn’t mind it at all. Body leaning into the way your voice wraps around the words.

"Thank you for looking after me."

You’re quiet, you’re shy. You’re soft.

You’re everything. Hoseok’s alpha whispers. You’re mine. Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

Mine.

“It’s no problem at all.” "We're at your disposal." "If we do a bad job of that please let us know." "Do you need anything for today? There's lunch in the breakroom." "you don't need to bring your own- company lunch is apart of your contract." "That food is hardly nutritious though? I can get anything you like and have it delivered to your office...or mine." “My door is always open for you." "Mine too!”

Even Namjoon had offered, voice impossibly deep, near purring. "I'm here if you need anything. Hoseok hyung too." It's not how he usually sounds, it draws Hoseok's focus for just a second. His packmate is off, Hoseok can tell. Hoseok grips the back of Namjoon's neck again just slightly scruffing him, passing it off as brushing something off his shoulder.

He watches you follow the movement before you turn away, Mr. Lee is already holding the heavy door open for you. “I've got it.” it's the first time Hoseok has heard Mr. Lee speak all month. Usually laconic, usually unspeaking. Not out of necessity but just because that's the way he is.

And the other alpha is even blushing.

Hoseok had stayed silent, he wouldn’t have been able to manage a sentence or a word even if he’d opened his mouth.

Later Yoongi will ask what you’re like, clicking through that song- a few hours into fiddling with the snare that just won’t seem to settle into the beat properly. The other alpha is always able to tell when Hoseok is on edge, and he hasn’t been able to relax since your meeting.

“How where they, they new omega?" Yoongi’s body is tense, he's been tense for hours and unwilling to just rip off the bandaid. Hoseok can sense it, but Hoseok and Yoongi have always had an easy sort of love. Hoseok does not let Yoongi stew alone but he does let him take his time to gather his thoughts.

His eyes are intent and dark. Hoseok reaches over slowly, careful not to spook him, settling his hand on the back of his neck. Yoongi relaxes imperceptibly.

Hoseok leans forward, rubbing his mouth across Yoongi's clothed shoulder before leaning his chin there and sighing.

“We’ll be careful.”

He nuzzles again just a little. A temporary relief. Feeling his alpha roil beneath his skin before he straightens back up into his own chair, Yoongi's nuckles drag along his thigh.

It will take several days for Hoseok to calm down over which time he’ll throw himself into his work and do his best to avoid you. “She has a nice voice.”

Yoongi's clicking stops momentarily.

“You know, omega’s voices are pitched at a different decibel that activates a different portion of an alpha’s hindbrain.”

“You sound like Namjoon.”

Yoongi snorts, wrinkles his nose in the way that sort of looks like he's an angry kitten. hoseok feels himself smiling before he realizes it. shoulders unfurling from their tensed up position. “He told me that earlier. Right before he headed off to the department store.”

Hoseok swallows around a growl. Keeping his breathing measured. He didn't even notice Namjoon heading off- distracted as he was. Normally Hoseok is bound to let one or two things slip when they're stressed- around comeback season or near deadlines. But there are none of those any time soon.

He’s good at coping with stress. He’s not even sure why he’s so stressed out right now. “What was he getting? A welcome gift?”

“No, I think he was getting a nest for his studio.” Hoseok curses runs a hand through his hair, and clicks around aimlessly on the program. Listening to the track again one more time through. Aware that Yoongi is watching him and not the lines of progressing audio. Aware that he’s still awaiting a response.

“You’re worried. Why?” Yoongi is always straightforward, always to the point, backward hat and sweatpants, all of him at ease and comfortable here. Hoseok debates it. Letting Yoongi in, confiding in him.

“She seemed a little…fragile. My alpha had one hell of a reaction to it.” Hoseok finally decides. It's not exactly the truth- not exactly the chorus of 'mine mine mine' still running rampant in the back of his head, a buzz in his ears, annoying and distracting. All-consuming in the silence. Hoseok will let the rest of the pack come to their own conclusions.

“They all seem that way.”

“Yeah. But this was different.”

All he knew was that the second he saw you, he knew he’d do anything for you, anything to keep you happy, safe, and healthy. And those aren’t normal feelings to have for a stranger- omega or not.

Some hidden feral part of him might have liked it a bit too much. Your vulnerability and your earnestness. Unlike alpha's or the few other omega's that Hoseok has the opportunity to meet, you don't seem to be skilled in keeping your scent meditated into something gentle or less potent. You're unable to conceal your scent even though that’s what the company hires you for. Most omega scenters would at least make some effort towards privacy.

But not you. It's almost like you don't even realize it or that you don't have the energy for it.

No- you feel and it’s right there. All laid out on the table. Your scent is never subdued- through the whole of the meeting, you never seemed to even try to contain it either. Shifting in your seat made it sour- like you were uncomfortable. When the CFO had talked it had gone mellow and mute. Like your mind was wandering.

But it had been oddly genuine. The way your scent had flickered, untamed, startled, and nervous to shy. To surprised and pleased. And then for a moment when your eyes flickered to his almost…

Excited. Sweet.

Despite Hoseok's resistance to booking you out for a session, the rest of the pack's alphas and betas do not have the same misgivings. They book time to scent you through the online portal the first week just to meet you, then once a week after (twice in Namjoon's case, he's a little over eager). Even Jimin and Seokjin who need scenting only once a month book you out twice in the first ten days although the second time Hoseok's is pretty sure it's just to give you lunch and a break.

Hoseok gets used to your scent on them, after workouts and before meetings. On the elbow of Namjoon's jacket, the other alpha blushed at Hoseok's knowing and cautioning look. The day before a showcase and in the afternoon over dinner. There are hints of it everywhere.

Hoseok never scents another alpha on you, not in the hallway when he passes you or on the others inadvertently. Omega scents- they stick differently, on everywhere and everything. Biologically it makes sense from a resource standpoint. An olfactory claim- so that other omega's will not tread over their territory. Alpha's can scent each other like normal like that too- beta's similarly although it takes a substantial cuddle for the scent to stick (ie why Jimin is nearly permanently wrapped around them even on the best of days).

For the first five or ten minutes after a scenting you might carry a bit of an alpha's scent profile- which is why the company books you out with half-hour breaks between each appointment- just to give you time to recuperate and for the scent to dissipate. Omega's are slippery, skin too soft to hold onto a scent for long. Alpha's and beta's cannot scent omega's the conventional way- not if they want to indicate a claim.

An omega only smells like another alpha if they've been knotted by them.

It's a deeper, more complete sort of scent that doesn't fade for a few days. A twinge. A subtle edge of their scent. Hoseok hates a little that his alpha picks up on it, that no one's knotted you. not recently enough to tell. He waits preemptively, tail already half tucked, anticipating disappointment. But it never comes.

If you do have a partner (or partners as most omega's have) they must not knot you frequently or at all. He's too embarrassed to mention it to the others. To ask if they've noticed too. You just shouldn't talk about omega's that way- it's impolite to point it out.

There are other small hints of you everywhere. Hoseok passes by your office on his way from his practice room to his studio, noticing food and packages, roses, and channel shopping bags with a scoff.

It's not just your scent everywhere either, Hoseok's pack mentions your name casually, tones soft and velvety. Hoseok must be imagining things- because there's no way that the pack is already saying your name with a croon.

Hoseok feels like he's losing his mind.

Namjoon's late to practice again. Which doesn't help. And Hoseok's protest dies in his throat when he catches a wif of you on Namjoon.

"Sorry I was late, she fell asleep on me and I didn't want to wake her."

Yoongi has the opportunity to jump in before Hoseok even can. Still collecting his thoughts, trying to keep his alpha down. "Did she seem tired? Is she getting enough rest?"

"We should talk to management about reducing her number of avalible time slots." Seokjin comments.

"But then it will be even harder to get scented- my next time isn't until monday, 3 whole days hyung." Taehyung drapes himself over Yoongi's back to whine.

"At least you got to scent her this week already- mine's not until tomorrow." Jungkook's pout is audible to the ears. Hoseok's growl cuts him off.

"Guys- Focus."

Jungkook doesn't go into a rut before the award show, Jungkook goes into a rut the day after he schedules his first scenting with you. A few hours later. If Hoseok's being honest he'd say he's been able to scent the pre on him- thick and musky alpha ready for a fight- ready to protect and provide and prove- barely an hour after meeting you.

Fucking hell.

Hoseok can smell where you are from a hallway away and can sense it days after if you've walked by his studio. All of it. He pretends he's not keeping track of you. Occasionally he opens up the online portal on his phone, but he never works up the courage to make an appointment with you for a scenting. Even as the weeks drag on Hoseok’s alpha gets more and more restless.

Very few omegas work and even fewer packs allow them to. It’s a function of packs- a pack without an omega isn’t one that will survive for long and to have their focus shift is entirely counterproductive. There's too much fighting between alphas, too much jostling for position and resources. Even if you like each other, even if you love each other. Hoseok has learned that it’s not easy as pack alpha, balancing their wants, desires, and the needs of 7 different people.

Even without the whole international super-star thing.

But with an omega- everyone is calmer, everyone is settled. Everyone has one singular goal guiding every interaction. Every moment.

Protect. Provide. Keep safe.

Before you- the beta’s were a little bit of a placeholder for the alpha’s more dedicated instincts. Jimin loves to be fussed over, to have his contacts taken out and his skincare patted on and manhandled from room to room. Jin loves it when they stand close and measure his breathing, his movements, his everything. The touches to his knees, his hips, the way Jungkook nuzzles into his back just so.

But they can only handle it for so long without going a little bit crazy, their instincts might be a bit more willing to handle a bit of babying. But they still have their own instincts- however fickle.

Hoseok has done nothing but that since you came into his care. Is doing only one of those things tonight, provide. A sold-out show, lyrics on the tip of his tongue and breath filling his lungs. All of it is always worth it. He loves his job; he really does but-

He loves it a little bit less when it keeps him from you. Touring isn’t only taxing on him, but taxing on you too.

Disrupting an omegas schedule with long-term travel is not recommended medically, even less for you given your fragile health. Hoseok might not have acquiesced to it at all if you hadn't pouted, and might not have agreed to it at all if not for the circumstances.

You'd been unwilling to separate yourself from him. Not after finally getting him back after so long.

Hoseok can smell your sickness on the air before he even makes it out onto your floor of the hotel, his managers, staff, and Mr. Lee following his blind spots. In the elevator and all the way up, not saying anything, his hair standing on end, foot tapping as the numbers climb higher and higher to the penthouse suite.

Everyone stills for a moment when Hoseok enters, careful to stay where he can see them. The hush of an angry alpha on the air telling. Your hotel room is crowded with doctors. It shouldn't be surprising to him. It shouldn't be so grating. Hoseok should know, he’d called them all in before leaving today. Had insisted upon Seejin staying home, that Hoseok would be fine with one of the other managers today.

They crowd parts around the waist-high nest to let him through. The nest is plush and custom, one of two- the other of your nest has already been sent to your next hotel- a luxurious expense to have an omega nest follow you wherever you go- but one that Hoseok was more than willing to pay so that you can be comfortable wherever you go. They have more than enough money to spoil you, so why shouldn’t they? What use is any of this if the one person they promise to protect and provide for isn’t taken care of?

His heart clenches painfully when he spots you, breath going a little ragged.

you're a small heap, arms and legs tucked close like you're having trouble keeping yourself warm, or maybe like the nest is too big, too unsafe. You've tucked yourself into the side of the nest, eyes closed, cheeks flushed with fever, resting prone against the side walls. All so that the doctor can press his stethoscope to your throat, your heart, and your back to listen to your lungs. he doesn't hear hoseok, ears in the stethescope,

"Can you breathe deep for me sweetheart, there you go. That's a good omega."

Hoseok can't fucking breathe.

The doctor’s part around him and quiet and the tense inch of him that hadn’t relaxed, not during the performance or the ride over one bit, finally eased away.

Hoseok drops to his knees at the edge of the nest. Normally he’d never allow anyone, fan or not, the management or not- to see him on his knees. It’s not something that any alpha does in public without ridicule. But for you he hardly even notices. Leaning over the edge of the nest. All but ready to get into it.

His hand threads a shaky hand through your hair, it's hard to tell if he's instantly soothed by your presence alone or if your breathing calms just a little more. Hoseok strokes down the curve of your head. Your eyes are closed. Neither awake or asleep. You seek out his scent almost immediately, nose pressing with a zing to his inner wrist that goes straight to his chest. Letting out a soft exhausted chirp that makes his throat and heart feel all tight.

You make a soft trilling noise, a precious little omegan sound that under other circumstances Hoseok would never allow anyone to hear but the pack. The order is clear; alpha in my nest, please come, alpha here. Hoseok's body lurches and it takes more control than he has to keep himself from tumbling into your nest entirely.

There are people here, Hoseok's instincts have already decided they're threats. Hoseok must remove them before he comes in. You turn your face into his palm nuzzling and nosing. Trying to get more of his scent on you even though you’re too stuffed up to scent him. Your other hand loosely tangles with the fabric of his shirt.

“How is she?” He breathes. Eyes fixed on your face, measuring the puffiness under your eyes, the raw skin of your nose, the dryness of your lips. You whine and reach for him, a noise so heartbreaking it almost makes Hobi want to gnash his teeth.

Hoseok spots it, the tiny band-aid on the inside of your arm. Small, pink. He blinks down at it. Thumb treading close, you hiss a little, and at closer inspection- he sees it's a little bruised.

Hoseok goes deathly still. The doctor keeps talking, oblivious to Hoseok's frightening quiet. Rushing over himself to update Hoseok. He spares no detail. No detail at all.

Hoseok burns.

“Her fever peaked this afternoon at around 101.3 degrees, at which point ant-virials were administered orally. She’s eaten a little since then and her potassium and iron levels were taken, just to be sure. A banana bag was administered at-”

the doctor breaks off as Hoseok jerks, hands tightening to fists by his side. You nose at the spot where his hand just was your eyes still closed. You're so sick he can hardly even smell you, your scent dampened by the weight of your sickness.

Logically Hoseok knows it's just a cold. You get like this every time you get sick. But logic has no place here, not now. Not with you so weak.

“You mean to say- my omega was given an IV without my approval?” rage rolls off him in waves and Seejin reaches out to set a hand on his shoulder, Hoseok doesn't even remember standing up, doesn't remember trying to shove. But between one blink and the next he's nearly doing it. Hoseok’s self-control is hanging on by a thread. “And- You did that without notifying me first?"

Hoseok is not proud of his rage, he’s not proud of a lot of things. But defending his pack has nothing to do with ego or dominance. It has nothing to do with pride as he backs the doctor up against a wall. Nearly snapping his teeth at his neck. Hoseok’s alpha wants more than blood, more than something to break under his hands. Rage makes him tremble nearly violently.

Thank God for NDAs and goodwill. Tomorrow. When Hoseok isn’t acting like a cornered dog he’ll apologize probably with a fancy gift of some sort. This same doctor who resists the urge to cower will say. “Happens all the time, you know alphas.”

But hoseok doesn't know, right now all he knows is Rage. But for now, Hoseok is a threat. An alpha is always a threat around a sick omega. His laugh sounds cruel even to his own ears. “Do you enjoy being licensed to provide omegan care doctor?”

For what it’s worth, the grey-haired doctor hardly backs off, hands raised. Seejin and Mr. Lee come close, a gentle presence waiting to see if Hoseok will snap. Hoseok should remember that you’re not his property- that you can and often do make medical decisions on your own. But right now, Hoseok’s having a hard time separating need from fear.

Hoseok watches them from the corner of his eye, part of him begging for them to intervene. For a reason to get violent. his alpha tells him violence might fix this. Might solve everything might-

“If any of you ever do anything like that again I’ll make sure you-”

You tug on his pant leg, effectively cutting him off, completely extinguishing his anger. He looks down and you’re looking up at him. Half sprawled out of the nest to reach him; hand fisted. Mouth drawn down in a pout. Eyes cracked open.

The very first time you’d ever looked up at him from the confines of your nest had taken his breath away. This time is no different.

The first time had gone something like this:

He’d been in the practice room where you’d chosen to spend the afternoon, lured in by the promise of open windows and sunlight. Hoseok had never spent too much time around omegas before. Too much like cats, too tentative, too restless.

Most of the time he treats his twice-monthly scentings as something routine. An omegan café, high-end on the edge of the city. An omega scenter in comfy pajamas, a nest that smells of cleaning spray, all for him. Rinse and repeat.

Most of the time when he sees you’ve taken a spot in his favorite practice room, he closes the door softly with a quiet apology and just goes to the one next door. Unwilling to bother you with the squeak of his shoes and the pounding of the music.

Nesting isn’t like napping, omegas can tune out sound when they’re nesting- it’s more similar to torpor in a way or hibernation. The body’s metabolism slows down and omega's go vulnerable. The brain becomes sluggish. Scent strengthens while other bodily functions dwindle like heart rate and reaction time. It’s a very very important part of omegan recovery.

Hoseok doesn’t want to interrupt that in the slightest- especially given the nagging feeling in his chest. His instincts say something that's hard to parse through. A language that he's only half fluent in. Ever-present since you've been hired.

He sees you joke around with some of the trainees and sees each of them duck their head to receive a brief (and probably slightly illegal given scenting laws) rub of your wrist over their heads before their first showcase.

Hoseok sees things like that all the time and tries to stay calm through it. Reminding himself that you are an adult, that you are not vulnerable, and you are not constantly in danger. Despite what Hoseok’s instinct are having him believe.

He was content to switch and swap for the practice room with the best acoustics. But then the next day he’d gone to the alternative practice room again and found you there again too. Flip-flopping back and forth.

He’d told Namjoon and complained a little. "Doesn't she understand that I’m trying not to disturb her? I'm trying to be respectful." Both of their backs up against the practice room wall. Bodies sweaty, resting. Hoseok hands off his water bottle giving Namjoon the first sip.

"Has it occurred to you that she might want you to disturb her?" Hoseok's expression had twisted, Namjoon's knowing smile dimply, near unreadable.

"Joon-ah, What are you thinking?" Namjoon had stood, offered his hand, and pulled Hoseok to his feet.

"I think alphas are the ones that need to do the chasing, not the ones that get chased." 

So, the next day, after flip-flopping from room to room for weeks. He’d tread into his favorite practice room quietly, carefully, already able to tell you where in there from the sweetness of your scent on the air alone. The late afternoon stretches the sunset red beyond the windows. And Hoseok takes a deep breath of your scent (you've been in here for hours, it covers the air in thick blushes of berries that have goosebumps rising to his arms).

You don't notice, you don't hear, eyes staying fixed on the sunset. He makes a small noise in his throat. More submissive than he means it.

You look from the window to him.

Your scent- it’s hard to describe your and if asked Hoseok might fail to properly pinpoint it. It's something deep and fresh but sweet and airy like a summer evening with a nearly berry undertone. Blackberries or blueberries, the tart feeling of them hitting your tongue. It's a lovely scent, a unique one. Hoseok has never met another person omega or not- that smelled half as delicious as you.

You’d looked up at him and smiled. Hoseok’s throat had felt tight, his spine straighter than stretching could ever get it.

He waits a beat, another. He's completely forgotten why he's in here for a split second and he stumbles into the room. Voice shaky. Totally not a good first impression- this is the first time you've ever been alone together in the same room. The first time you've ever been one on one with Hoseok.

Hoseok is making a fool of himself. He should have brought food or maybe a gift like namjoon did. Maybe one of those fancy little drinks with the cut up fruit from the cafe downstairs.

“Is- is it alright if I practice in here?” He even stutters. He can hear Namjoon and Yoongi snickering from a floor away.

“Yes!” You’d chirped, resting your cheek against the edge of the nest, pausing before you’d continue. Squirming a little happily, and Hoseok huffs, sort of endeared, sort of less nervous just by how eager you seem. This is why you’re here in this room. He shouldn’t be blushing watching you shift and get comfortable in the nest.

He’s been measuring them- tracking the similarities from nest to nest, some omegas like a lot of blankets- others like a lot of pillows. But you don’t like too much, just a duvet occasionally in some of the other colder practice rooms- especially the ones underground. And a pillow now stuck between your knees for you to wrap your body around while you nest.

He might have seen you do that with Jungkook at one point. After his rut when he'd been a little… volatile. And he'd walked into the breakroom- the other alpha nearly completely tucked beneath your body. Hoseok might have spent hours thinking about it, it's hard not to notice and Hoseok knows omegas like to hug things but-

He might actually be going insane

“I've always wanted to watch you practice on your own!” hoseok flushes furiously and tries to turn away so you can't see, unsure what to say even less what to do. At second glance you're half lifting yourself out of the nest, something that sets off alarm bells in his head. Nearly makes him come close and shush you- ask you to sink back into it. "What one are you gonna do? Hope world? Or-" you prattle on while Hoseok's eyebrows climb higher and higher into his hairline.

Oh? Could it be that you're- that you're a fan? That you like their music. Hoseok's not sure why- but he didn't expect that, or expect this.

You are not strangers, you’ve met before. Only that time You were upright and Hoseok- shaking your hand careful not to squeeze too hard. Making the rounds to meet everyone personally. Eyes flickering from your clasped hands to your face and back again. Nostrils flaring as you caught his scent in the air.

Hoseok knows he smells good, like drippy mangos in the summertime. Sun-warmed fruit. Mellow but sticky. He preens a little at having an omega so obviously appreciate it.

You must not know what you’re doing to him at all as you lift your nose to the air and breathe deep, pausing in your listing of his many performances, eyes fluttering. He knows you like his scent as he sets up, out of the corner of his eye he catches something that looks suspiciously like a happy little shiver. If a beta or alpha did that it might be creepy- but an omega.

Hoseok might have scrubbed off his scent blockers just a little earlier. So you could smell him better.

This is different than your first meeting. This is the first time he’s ever been alone with you. You are the only two people here now. And the quiet and intimate proximity makes Hoseok’s skin feel tingly. But this is just what omega’s do, just what omega’s feel like. Hoseok had been warned that his body might have…peculiar reactions to being around an omega regularly for a prolonged period of time. Increased protective instincts.

The other boys aren’t here to soften the edge of tension with their puppy pile clamor. You attend their group practices a few times a week. Your officially booked time is a bit different, but when you’re not booked out and in the hours between your sessions with the other groups- you do gravitate a little to their spaces.

Hoseok’s not quite sure if he’s noticing a pattern or if his instincts are just overly hopeful.

But this is different. Feels different as Hoseok sets out his water bottle and queues up the music. His heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. “So you know our stuff?” He teases getting comfortable. You hide your blush under the edge of the nest.

"Just a little. I looked you up when I started working here-"

"Everythings to your liking?" He asks, checks, keeping you in his peripheries, mindful of startling you or making you nervous. Any omega would get nervous one on one with an alpha. You should never feel that way around him- Hoseok doesn't want you to.

"Yes- everyone's been so welcoming." He hums, it's more of a pur, more of a muted growl. When he looks back at you- you're looking at him. Eye contact. Too quick. Hoseok looks away.

He clears it out of his throat, shaking himself clean a little. "What do you wanna see? I don't usually take requests but-" For you I might. For you I would. Hoseok hides his flush by clicking around on the computer, audio files listed alphabetically. The concert arrangements- not the regular recordings.

You hum thoughtfully, tipping your head this way and that, leaning your chin against the omega nest. It’s a simple one, fairly standard. It sort of looks like an oversized cat bed, set up kind of minimally (something about that doesn’t please Hoseok’s alpha, although you do have similar omega nests in just about every room in the building, meant to facilitate your comfort in whichever space you might ask for).

Hoseok had come upon you asking two trainees to move yours to the hallway with all the windows (that was suspiciously close to his, Namjoon’s, and Yoongi’s studios.) It will be a few more weeks until you ask them if it's okay if you set up a private nest in the corner of their studios. Yoongi already has a spot cleared out just in case. Namjoon's had one set up in the first week.

The other day he had walked by just as you cupped their cheeks and dragged your wrist down their throats, the pair of alpha’s flushing red and smelling heady. A priceless reward and one that Hoseok was instantly jealous of.

Maybe he'll get that today.

Hoseok is always keenly aware of your nests when he finds them empty- they’re not always unadorned, sometimes there are pink frilly sweaters and sweatshirts draped over the edge. Gifts from alpha’s whose scent you like and betas too. There’s one in the waiting room with a maplestory plush that Jin keeps well-scented and you tend to tote from spot to spot. Jin smells as pretty as he looks; like fresh orange blossom and lemon slices, something citrusy and fresh.

During practice with you in the corner. Taehyung asks you why and you tell him gladly. easily. intimacy with others ins't always easy with a pack as close knit as there's they have friends too- but Hoseok is always nervous, always watching and making sure his pups are okay and not asking private personal questions that certainly are not work appropriate. He's just about to say something to Taehyung when you respond, resting your cheek across the top of the pink plush, blinking up at him blearily. "I like to hug things in my sleep,"

Yhe alpha had leaned over to ruffle your hair. You'd pressed up into the touch happily. "You're just like me! If you need to nap and I need to nap we should like- hug each other!"

That painfully obvious attempt at flirting had been the source of many teasing episodes over the last few weeks. Jungkook had needed to be taken over a lap for high-pitched. "You're just like me," More than once. An inside joke in the making if ever there was one. Taking care of his pack is easy for Hoseok, every movement practiced so many times he could do it with his eyes closed.

The next day, there might have been a full-sized teddy bear, scented by each member of the pack, waiting in your office for you. The pack had waited for Hobi to be done with a meeting just so that he could scent it too and he could scent it last, making his scent on it the strongest.

Call it a welcoming gift if you're too shy to call it a courting gift.

The pack's scents are a comforting overlap, one that Hoseok is intimately familiar with. He can smell that this nest, the one in his practice room, has traces of them. He knows the whole pack’s schedules and often wakes up early just to pour over it with coffee. And he knows that you’ve seen each of them over the last week for a session. That you see them every week that sometimes- you bump people to the next day just in case.

Hoseok just didn’t realize you’ve had your sessions here, in his practice room until right now.

Hoseok knows this, knows that you like his pack’s scent, and yet. You have nothing in this nest, nothing in his practice room from any of the others. Your omega nest is simple and unadorned in here. Here it's just you and just him. You tilt your head to the side, thoughtfully considering his question.

“The pretty one, the one that you and Jiminie do.” Jiminie huh, Hoseok’s alpha had purred, nicknames already. Hoseok doesn’t say anything, he just nods and queues up the track, turning it lower than he normally would. Aren’t omega’s ears more sensitive? Is that something that he should be worried about?

Hoseok doesn’t miss a single step, keenly aware of your chin perched on the edge of your nest. Intimately aware of your eyes on him following his every movement.

The world and everything outside of the room melts away. Until it's only the music and you.

~-~

It’s a far cry from now, as you peer up at him from the nest. Cheeks flushed with fever.  Tugging all of his attention inches away from this confrontation getting bloody. Hoseok's hands are claws against the alpha doctor's skin, one on his shoulder and the other on his throat. All Hoseok sees is red, all Hoseok sees is you. Hoseok is finally able to fixate on you again. For today at least, the performance is done. It is once again just you and him.

Scared, omega hurt. Omega might go, omega can't go. has to stay. Fear- no- it's terror. It's always terrifying when you're sick. Because one day you might not get better. One day that might be it. Protect, treat. Feed. Get rid of the threat of omega and keep omega safe. Soft omega, my omega, sick omega. Keep safe keep safe keep safe keep-

Your voice is so quiet, but Hoseok would hear it in a roaring stadium. Over 6,000 people or 60,000. It cuts through the panic, his heavy breath heaving in his chest, bones creaking with the force of his trembling. Their whole body out of wack.

Hoseok has only ever wanted for you to be okay. He wants it so badly that it burns in his throat. Worse than a lump, worse than an ache. A wound.

“Hobi." Your tone leaves no room for argument. "Stop it. You’re being mean.”

~-~

Notes:

the beginning part of this might be a little bit too much for me. i'm having alot of family issues right now. i did /not/ intend on putting it in this fic but oh wellllllllll

honestly i struggled to articulate their dynamic in the sections with jimin, hoseok, and namjoon also ft. yoongi but!!! i think i did a good job! and people wanted to see more of dom jimin. i wanted to emphasize that they're all dominant in some way over the m/c but they all step aside when they need to exercise those dominant feelings.

i love playing with reader expectations vs experience in fics, i really want you guys /as/ readers to question whether or not her parents were right in trying to hide her being an omega.

less notes this time because i kept getting distracted from this fic and all the shit that is going on in my life at the moment. not only bts's comeback but also just life stuff. my older sister is getting married next week so i will be away. because of that i might not get around to answering messages for a little while (either that or i'll be camped out responding to each and every one of them and escaping to this fantasy world lol)

[kira-fluff]

no feelings, just lust - wakasa imaushi x fem!reader

what happens when FWB -> feelings? tw: language, casual sex (obviously), trust issues/mental health issues a/n: hello! you all know the drill, i've been busy with all uni. i've been wanting to write again and i finally had some free time tonight. am i once again venting my own psychological issues in the form of writing? yes. but honestly lets be so fr for a second i feel like some of my other girlies relate to this shit. idk, lmk. i hope i'm not the only one. (i'm scared of men)

wakasa didn't "do" relationships. too much work. too much shit he's got on his plate already. and hey, a girl deserves more in a serious relationship then a guy who doesn't give a shit, right? there are plenty of fuckers who treat their girls like trash just because they want the attention but not the commitment. in all honesty, wakasa didn't do friendships either. it's easier in his line of work to keep everyone at a distance. helps it hurt less when they leave - when they die, or shit, they betray you. but through shinichiro, he met you.

turns out, you weren't really all that into relationships either. it was funny that both of your lack of commitment stemmed from trust issues, but that wasn't something you both exactly said out loud. for you, it was easier not to get hurt or rejected if you never gave someone the chance to get close. so, you would play nice, act the part of a friendship, smile, placate, but at the end of the day, no one was really your friend. they were part of an act you played in your head. you assumed various roles, went through your script, amused your audience. and for what? so people can like you? at this point, you weren't even sure. this, of course, didn't even begin to touch on your commitment issues caused by your struggles in your own identity. you don't know what the fuck you want in a relationship, so whenever shit got serious, you cut it off. you decided relationships weren't your thing because guys didn't deserve to have their feelings played with by someone who approaches them half-heartedly.

when you met wakasa, it was perfect. neither of you wanted anything beyond just casual sex. no commitment. you don't care who else the other is fucking, so long as your clean. you can quit whenever you want. no strings attached and with it, no feelings. there were no expectations. you were free to do what you want, and if it wasn't what you wanted anymore, you could call it off without hurting anyone. you just happen to be satisfying each other's needs. it's both selfish, but in a way, also a symbiotic give-and-take. if it is mutually beneficial, is it really all that selfish? maybe you shouldn't be giving as much thought to the semantics, but your proclivity for overthinking is part of the reason your real relationships are a clusterfuck.

shinichiro introduced you at the club, where you were languidly sipping on a cocktail. "this is y/n, she's chill. comes out to hang with us sometimes." "yeah, when i got shit else to do," you laughed. your gaze met his purple eyes as you blinked slowly. the smell of weed permeated throughout the club, adding a slight fog to the already densely populated club. "wakasa." he said, and that was it. no "nice to meet you" or any of that other shit. yeah, he wasn't up for the play acting either. good. as he ordered a drink, you took another sip, searching the club for anything amusing to pass the time. blaring music, sweaty bodies, lustful and uninvited hands...yeah, it wasn't really your scene. but you were bored, and honestly a little lonely. with that combination, you hit up shinichiro asking if he and his gang were doing anything this weekend. they always are. how do they not get exhausted just being around all these people? it's a task already just spouting off conversation with these braindead fuckers.

wakasa took a seat next to you, surveying the club just as you were. after taking another sip of his scotch, he said, "this shit gets old pretty fast." you smirked. "can't say i disagree." wakasa licked his lips, taking a long look at your figure. "you doin' anything tonight? 'sides sitting here bored as fuck." you turned your eyes to him once more. "what did you have in mind?"

-

wakasa slammed you against the door to your apartment, kissing you urgently as you attempted slipped off your shoes while just a little bit wasted. you weren't wasted enough to see this guy was fucking hot. and as he rubbed up against you, you realized he had plenty to offer. "so fuckin' hot," he sighed as he kissed you, "i wanna be inside you." you groaned as he licked your lip, then plunged his tongue into your mouth. there, you two melded into a rhythm of twisting tongues, sighing, moaning, drawing back for a breath, and then repeating it all over again. of course, this only lasted so long before wakasa grabbed your ass, lifting you up and carrying you to your bedroom and tossing you onto your bed. as he unbuckled his pants, you make quick work of removing your tight-fitting dress. at last, you basked in each other's well-endowed features. as you looked at him, his purple eyes were nearly pitch black with desire. he wants you. and you can have him. like letting go of a rope, wakasa met your body and slid his cock in between your wet folds. his pace was a steady rhythm as he gazed at you, analyzing what make you feel good. "mmm... harder..." you sighed, to which he quickly responded with more aggressive thrusts, causing the bed to whine as he pounded into you. "yes, oh my god, yes," you sighed. he sucked air through his teeth. "fuck, you're so tight. feels so fuckin' good." as his hips rocked into yours, you couldn't take your eyes off him. your fingers found the nape of his neck, where you pulled at the purple and blond strands, eliciting a groan from him. suddenly he stopped. "fuck, not gonna cum yet. wanna make you feel even better." he pushed your body futher up the bed, then spread your thighs until they touched either side of you. slowly, he leaned his head down toward your pussy, his eyes on you. then, he licked a stripe up, teasingly. you couldn't hold back your whimper. a corner of his mouth turned up as he sucked on your clit, then once again licked up your slick, swirling his tongue around your entrance. you felt your pussy getting wetter as he continued to taste you. "tastes so good. lemme see you cum, baby girl." he moves his fingers inside of you, thrusting them in and out of your pussy at such a rapid pace you began moaning. along with it, he removed his tongue, licking what was left on his mouth, and moved his other fingers to rub against your clit, making slow circles. your breathing became shallow, just gasps of air. your mind went completely blank, only able to focus on the sensations he brought with only his hands. and fuck, those hads were like magic. slowly, slowly, the pleasure built up inside of you until you let out a moan, shaking as you orgasmed. as you sighed, calming your rapid breathing, he eyed you up and down. "you don't think we're done, do you? we're just gettin' started." he said, curling his lips in amusement. you huffed out a laugh, "of course, we wouldn't want you leaving without your dick soaked." his mouth twisted downward, as if he was fighting against a smile. "alright then, make me cum."

-

you awoke to light stubbornly illuminating your room through the blinds. thank god you didn't have a hangover. you sighed in contentment. you felt so full. it had been awhile since you'd had sex that good. well, fuck, it was great. out of this world. mind-blowing. you lost count of how many hours you were at it, how many times you made each other cum. all you could remember was the sensation of wakasa inside of you and your mouth around his cock. and goddamn, the wonders he worked with that tongue. fuck, did you get his number? you glanced over to the other side of your bed. predictably, it was empty. well, at least he wasn't expecting some kind of morning pillow talk. better to just fuck and be done with it then sit there talking about your feelings. lamenting your oversight, you lazily walked toward your kitchen, thankful for your coffee maker preprogrammed to make you the good shit without you fucking around with the machine when your mind wasn't yet awake. after taking a few sips of your highly-caffienated, highly-sugar-filled coffee, you noticed a slip of paper on the counter. thanks for the fun night. if your up for it some time again, text me. xxx-xxx-xxxx - wakasa you smiled. at least one of you had your head on straight this morning.

pulling out your phone, you typed out "hey wakasa. it's y/n. definitely down for another night sometime." not two minutes after you sent your message, you heard your phone ding. "glad to hear. free sunday night. your place or mine?" "your place. wanna see if your place is as glorious as mine, with the shitty white paint over the holes in the wall from my landlord. ya know, the luxurious shit you get when you can just barely pay the bills." you replied. "sounds good. here's my address: xxxx xxxx xxxxxxx." you pouted. not a laugh? well, he's not really the "lol" type, you supposed. but why did you even care? maybe just because he doesn't have a good sense of humor - what a piece of moldy cheese. but the sex was good, so even if his personality is moldy cheese (just because he didn't think you were funny) you can put up with him. and did his personality even matter? you guys were just fucking. it's just sex. nothing more.

-

wakasa breathed out a laugh, looking at your text. the corner of his mouth quirked up despite himself, resulting in an eyebrow raise from his unwanted observer. "the fuck you smiling at?" shinichiro asked, grinning. "damn, get off my dick, shin. none of your business." "it's that girl you fucked last night, isn't it?" he said, moving his eyebrows up in down in the most obnoxious way. "well, yeah, we're gonna meet up and fuck again sometime. nothing serious. you're always so interested in making everything sound like some damn romance." wakasa rolled his eyes. shinichiro frowned, replying incredulously, "well, sor-ry for having a fuckin' dream! not all of us can fuck girls left and right." wakasa scoffed. "not my fault your bitchless." "i'm not 'bitchless', i just prefer a girl to like me for more than my cock." shinichiro defended. "it's really not that serious. if you go into it thinking it's gonna be this whole romantic and idealistic shit, it's not. yeah, they want you for your dick. but you want them for their pussy. it works out." it was shinichiro's turn to roll his eyes. "not everyone can just sleep around like it's no big deal. i want someone who likes me for more than just my amazing, gorgeous, sexy body." wakasa shook his head, "well good luck, because you don't even fit that bill either." shinichiro gasped, "shut the fuck up! i can dream, okay?!" with that, he stormed away. wakasa shook his head. shinichiro was always getting his heart broken. how did he not see that keeping things casual was better than wasting your time trying to win someone over for more than just sex? it wasn't worth the time.

-

for the next few weeks, something idiotic was developing in his mind. after those hours of fucking, wakasa found himself wanting to stay. he thought about coming over earlier so he could try your cooking that you bragged about but probably tasted like dog shit. he wanted to watch the stupid movie you were raving about when you stayed up late talking after a few rounds. he spent sleepless nights thinking about the time when you were drunk and told him that he was so sweet behind all his "bad boy" exterior (whatever she meant by that). more than a few times he awoke to dreams of fucking you senseless. but more concerning were the dreams in which you held his hand, gently smiling at him as you walked toward a street food vendor. it was like, dating shit. he didn't do dates. so why the fuck was he dreaming about corny shit like some walk-around-town time with you? he briefly considering calling the whole thing off. just biting the bullet and texting you he just wasn't feeling it anymore. but then he'd hear his phone ding again, and it was a text asking if he was doing anything tonight. or fuck, sometimes it was just some "cursed image" (as you called it) that made him question your sanity. but also made him smile. like, what the fuck, wakasa? just block her. don't have anything to do with her. you don't need that investment in your life. it was goddamn embarassing how fast he'd grab his phone when he heard his phone ding - hoping it was from you. so he couldn't let go. the sex is too good, he reasoned with himself. he hasn't had this level of physical chemistry with anyone. so, he can't take the chance of hoping to find someone else.

-

as you sat cuddled against wakasa's side, watching the most iconic movie ever (that you forced him into sitting his ass down and watching), you realized something. you and wakasa were... friends. not fake friends were you had to play the part of whatever the fuck he wanted from you. like, genuine friends. you felt you could be - as lame as it sounds - yourself. after the movie ended, you looked up at him. for some reason, an image of him pushing back your hair to kiss your forehead flashed through your mind. but friends didn't do that shit. and neither did hookups. but eh, everyone gets like that sometimes, right?

-

"'m gonna order some food. what kinda rice do you want?" "just get me whatever you're having. don't feel like thinking right now." he laughed. "lazy ass." you grinned at your position on the couch, watching him as he leaned against the dining table. "says the guy who lives his entire life on 'minimal effort mode'." "it wasn't an insult." "damn. here i was thinking you were being a big meanie, but you're just a real sweetheart, aren't you?" he rolled his eyes. "shut up. 'm ordering a bunch of shit because i know you always want egg rolls." "this is true. i'm big back and proud." he shook his head, withholding a grin, much to your amusement.

it was such a stupid moment. he was just ordering food while chatting with you idly. but fuck. he has feelings for you. and not just "i wanna fuck you" feelings. the kinda mushy, lame shit shinichiro was always yappin' about. the kind of shit that made him think of the future rather than always looking toward the past. he wanted to be more than just a fuck-buddy. in some ways, he felt like you already were. but how the hell is he supposed to ask that? the whole "what are we?" sounds dumb. but exposing his true feelings sounded even more foolish. with that, he decided, it's better not to say anything. it'll go away anyway.

-

news flash, your feelings were not going away. and yeah, you knew at this point that things were changing. you looked at him not with soley physical attraction, but also a deep, emotional connection. you felt like you clicked on a whole different level than any of the other guys you'd attempted to date before. it's not like you could help it. wakasa... there was just something so magnetic about him. something inexplicable that drew you to him. that made it impossible to leave him on read. more than a few times you texted until the sun shone through your windows. and it wasn't sexting. it was talking about stupid shit, or sometimes even getting down to a little bit of some of those issues you've been pushing away because it's easier to ignore them than address them and work through all the mountain of garbage you've carried your entire life. you understood each other the way no one else did. falling in love with him - if you dared use that "L" word - seemed like it was set in stone. once you went beyond sex, it was like love was unavoidable. even when you tried to search for reasons to dislike him - any part of him that made you decide was too much of a red flag to have any sort of loss of feelings - you came up empty. sure, he's not perfect, but fuck if he isn't perfect for you. how could you burden him with your feelings? you already knew talking about it would ruin everything. both of you didn't do relationships. how stupid would it be to suggest one?

-

you both lay panting on either side of your mattress. unexpectedly, wakasa asked, "...are you..." he exerted another breath, "seeing... any other... guys?" your eyes widened in surprise. "...not currently... why?" you hated that a part of you desperately hoped that he was jealous. he glanced away from you. "ah, it's nothin'." you sat up on your elbows. "is it really nothing? waka, are you upset?" he shook his head fervently. "nah, no. it's really nothin'." you raised an eyebrow but conceded. "...well, okay. if you say so." wakasa's eyes found your own. and he stared into your eyes like he never had before. like he was studying them. memorizing every color, every outline, every speckle. his eyes darted from your eyes to your lips, then back again. "can i..." he licked his lips, "can i... kiss you?" you let out a small laugh. "you've never asked before." he looked down. "...nevermind." yet, you understood what he meant. asking.... it was different. it meant something. something deeper than just expressing lust and bodily desire. so, you leaned forward, grabbing the collar of his shirt, and pulled him in for a deep kiss. your mouths moved against each other, yet it was delecate. reverent. like both of you wanted to savor this moment forever, rather than pull apart for something as trivial as air. as you parted at last, after a quick breath, wakasa leaned in for a gentle kiss on your mouth. as he parted, his eyes found yours. and you could no longer deny that your hopes were not unfounded. "i love you, waka." he blinked slowly. "i love you, too."

a/n: rahhhh i think this might be one of my favorites. please share your thoughts!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

howdyyy, what do u think of plat yan! dick grayson (or platonic yan father bruce wayne up to u) with a batsis who is very disinterested with him primarily bc when she was younger she idolised him a lot but now not so much. there are comics where grayson has cheated on his partners before so imagine batsis coming to realise as she aged and matured that her doting brother is a bit of a playboy…. a lot like a playboy actually—

You know, this is actually extremely realistic. There's nothing like the rose color glasses falling off and realizing just how messed up your family truly is.

I'd like to think that there was plenty of jokes and mentions about Dick being a playboy but Batsis would just be absolutely clueless. You probably just thought it was a reference to his charming appearance or the way he gets hit on at least once whenever he goes out. Not really that he was an notorious heart breaker.

Like i don't think the other batkids had serious talks about it in front of you because of your (then) age or maybe it was a request by Dick so he could keep on his perfect mask with you?

Ironically, he wouldn't want any man to treat his little sister (or any of them) the way he does to other women but he has a problem. I will say though, it makes absolute sense that Dick or even the others would have issues keeping relationships or even have sex addictions. I mean it's a real issue that many people are struggling with right now. But can you imagine your father constantly bringing home women and cheating your entire childhood? Like Bruce introduces some of these women to them, they get attached to this potential mother then it's ripped away to be discarded for the new catch. I think that definitely warped Dick's view of women and romance stems from that. *intense mommy issues* But also i mentioned before that it's hard for him to maintain relationships while taking on the fatherly role in the family. His obsession with making sure all of his siblings are cared for and protected(mixed with being nightwing), makes it all the more difficult. Maybe that leads him to just hooking up with and being sloppy in his relationships. Maybe its just a means of stress relief and that causes him to almost dehumanize/objectify the women he "romances".

I'm not saying this is justifiable, cheating is disgusting and his behaviors are something that needs to be corrected regardless of mommy issues but for headcanon sake we are entertaining the concept

I'm not sure how you'd exactly find out about it. Maybe one of the kids let it slip and didn't bother to do damage control because you're old enough now? Maybe you spoke to one of his exes that is still friendly with the batfam? Or maybe your brain started to develop and you realized he wasn't hanging out with that new super model as just friends all night...it was something more and his girlfriend definitely didn't know about it.

Regardless, I think when you finally found out about everything, your world crushed. I don't think you'd hate him but you just feel yucky about the whole thing. Now when you look at him something in your stomach just sinks. You might even wonder if you can trust him. I mean if he's got that much of a problem to be dishonest with his lovers, then why would it be so left field to suggest he lied to you too when he said he loves you or that you were his favorite? The transition from you idolizing him to being standoff-ish would be extremely noticeable to him. I mean it's hard to ignore when you were his mini me. Even as you got older you followed him around and never skipped an opportunity to be near.

He wouldn't think that it was because of the playboy thing, maybe just you needing some space as a teen. Everyone has gone through that phase before but when he notices your shift is only directed towards him, he's a little upset about it. He doesn't understand what he did wrong? One day you guys are eating ice cream together while having a sleepover in his room to you treating him like a disease.

Eventually your big brother corners you and makes you to confess whats bothering you. He apologizes if something he said rubbed you the wrong way but you couldn't keep treating him this way.

"uhm..i dunno, dick? I found out how you've been treating you partners and i think it's kinda gross. I guess i just don't really wanna be around someone who treats women like that right now..."

I think Dick's reaction would be complete shock....who tf told you?! He has no defense but he tries to muster up one before realizing this is just making him look worse when EVERYBODY knows how much of a whore he is lol. He'd back off of you and maybe even mutter an apology before walking away to go collect himself.

He's furious as well...whoever told you will be getting an earful because they just ruined something precious to him. (yeah they did. totally not his OWN actions) If it was one of his brothers, he will be throwing hands.

Dick does very much care about others perception of him, i've said this before. He knew he had a problem and his other siblings have spoken to him about it and it affected him but never enough to change. It's just a far deeper issue than wanting a quick fuck in the expense of his partners...But seeing his baby sister look at him with just so much disgust and disappointment was enough to cause him to spiral. He's not proud of his actions and knows he's hurt and discarded of many, many women for his own satisfaction. It's deplorable. I can imagine him taking maybe a few days to himself, he's just in his head while being overtaken by heavy guilt.

I'm not sure if Dick would actually change for you though? I think he is even debating it. Yeah he's a yandere for his batsis but is his obsession with you enough to kick the other one to the curb? That's up to you. A hopeful person would say, yes he would. Anything for his babybat! He's going to do whatever it takes to prove himself again, anything to make you proud. This habit isn't worth it if hes loosing you.

My opinion? No, he won't change after his guilt wears off. He'll just pretend like he's reborn. Dick would try for like a week and then go right back to doing his habits. He's a manipulative piece of work and yeah, lying to you is bad but he wants his cake and to eat it too. He's not willing to give up anything that gives him a euphoric boost. Shh...what you don't know, won't kill you.

[wistfulnightingale]

Good Omens & the Existential Art of Not Giving Up (or, When It's All Exhausting)

So many of us love Good Omens, especially Crowley and Aziraphale, with an intensity that our friends and loved ones may not understand. We analyze their choices, their relationship, their future. We cry over them. We speculate, create and enjoy fanfics about them, and await the conclusion of their story with all of our hopes and fears on the line.

For me, one of the biggest reasons I'm so attached to their story is because of the way they constantly fight to figure out how to exist as they are, in a universe that forces them be something they're not. They make mistakes, they get overwhelmed, and sometimes they totally screw it up. But they always come back.

They never give up.

Our world is -- tough -- to say the least. Many of us are struggling to figure out how to exist as we are. So many pressures and expectations, so much conflict and... Well, you already know exactly what I mean! Existential Exhaustion is real, and all too present.

Good Omens provides something much more important than an escape from those harsh realities. I believe it provides HOPE.

I lost hope for a little while. I've been away from Tumblr and my AO3 writing for months because of it. Good Omens was helping me keep my head above water in a chaotic, exhausting world. When the future of GO itself got chaotic, I lost something (for awhile) that helped me make sense of the world's chaos.

But these characters, Crowley and Aziraphale, are beautiful and brave and flawed and So Ineffably HUMAN... They show us what it is to fight and fall and fail and rise to fight again. They remind us that we can mess up and still be lovable, worthy of love. And, when they get it right, they show us what acceptance and fidelity can be.

Stories are usually about how people (and angels and demons!) respond to challenges. We only get to be privy to the story of Our Ineffables when their lives are about to get turned upside down. AntiChrist about to enter the world? Season 1. Their precious, peaceful, fragile existance together about to be threatened by a mysterious Something Terrible from Heaven? Season 2.

I love to imagine what Aziraphale and Crowley's lives together were like in that short time they had together in between. (It's why we love the flashbacks, right? An extra peek at their relationship!) That time was far too short, but they came a long way since that gentle night at the bus stop, and protecting each other's very existence from Hellfire and Holy Water the very next day. "To the World", they said. "To Us," it meant, and how much they love it and strive to protect it.

Like us, Our Ineffables are flawed fellows. They get overwhelmed. Aziraphale gets too anxious, and starts spouting off things he doesn't really mean. Crowley loses his temper, and likewise starts spouting off things he doesn't really mean...

They fight with each other.

They fight for each other.

And life stays hard. They get overwhelmed. Anxiety happens. Anger happens. Bad decisions happen. Existential Exhaustion. Doesn't put any of us at our best, yeh?

But they keep trying to figure it all out and make it right. For the world and for each other...

Maybe I believe in Our Ineffables so much because I need something to believe in that gives me Hope, something that helps me keep fighting. Because I do believe in them, both of them. They mess up, but they don't give up.

Maybe that's not such a weird thing for any of us to believe in.

[excusetowrite]

Let Him In (3)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

Summary: As night gives way to dawn, our actress and Jack finally cross the threshold of temptation they’ve been toeing for weeks. In the blood-smeared haze of desire and secrecy, the line between performance and reality vanishes. What begins with teasing glances and unsaid truths explodes into something primal, possessive, and deeply intimate. Behind a locked door, with their castmates just outside, they risk everything to chase the hunger they’ve been denying. But when the sun rises, it’s not just their bodies that have been laid bare—it’s their truth.

Warnings: Minors DNI. This chapter includes explicit sex, emotionally loaded confessions, obsession, possessiveness, blood kink, marking, biting, oral sex, overstimulation, orgasm denial, face-touching, hands-over-mouth, squirting (surprise!!), unprotected sex, mild fear/play tension, and a very intense use of the word “mine.” Also includes smut so feral it blurs the line between fantasy and reality—in costume. In character. In chaos. Please read with care. Hydrate. Stretch. Lie down after. You’ve been warned. Struggling to decide if I want to end it here, I've grown quite attached.

The Way We Burn

As soon as they yelled cut and Jack left to get his prosthetics removed, I bolted.

The moment I was off set, the humiliation hit—settling deep in my bones. He knew. Saw right through the last bit of composure I had left. I struggle to see if he’s acting half the time, to find the reason behind any of his actions, yet he’d figured out the one thing I was desperate to keep hidden. If it was that obvious, I must look like a complete fool—not just to him, but to everyone.

He didn’t try to come to my trailer that night. When I heard the knock, my heart skipped. Maybe it was him. Maybe he wanted to talk, to laugh it off, to say I’d imagined everything.

But it wasn’t Jack—it was just a PA coming to tell me that they had to move stuff around and we’d be reshooting some of the "Rocky Road to Dublin" scene on account of the sunrise being in some of the shots from last time. I wouldn’t even have known what to say. “Sorry for being a creep”? “Sorry for liking it too much?” At least thinking about how hard that scene was to shoot the first time helped take my mind off things. It didn’t help me figure out how I was going to manage showing my face tomorrow night. I curled up under the covers, but sleep didn’t come. I kept seeing his eyes—not the red ones, not Remmick’s. His. And I had no idea how I was supposed to look him in the face tomorrow night.

—

The sticky, sweet blood clings to my skin, and the fake teeth and tinted contacts ache in all the wrong ways. But at least I’m not suffering alone—everyone else on set is just as miserable. The first time we filmed this scene we only had an hour and a half before the sun rose. Tonight, we were able to start at midnight. Hailee and I were the last to leave hair and makeup and get to set. When we arrived, Jack was in full, glorious costume, practicing. As hard as it was for the rest of us, this was easily his hardest scene to film.

I was scared for when he’d look at me. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt—how hollow it would feel—until it happened. Not a single stolen glance, not a shared smile, not even a wave. Complete and deliberate avoidance. I must have been brooding too long while we waited on our marks in the inner part of the circle because Hailee looked between the two of us and must have sensed the tension.

She leaned in, the bustle of everyone around us covering her words. “You okay?”

I snapped my attention to her, not realizing how out of it I had been. “Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?” I rolled my shoulders back and started stretching, trying to seem as casual as possible.

“Because you and Jack have been attached at the hip for the past two months, and now you won’t even look at each other,” she said, eyebrows raising.

I let my mouth hang open a moment while I tried to think of something to say. All I could think about was how his breath had felt on my neck, how real it all had seemed. “Filming that scene yesterday didn’t go so well,” was all I managed. A half-truth. It went really well. Too well—for me at least. I guess that was the problem. I enjoyed it too much. God, he probably thinks I’m such a fucking pervert. Flirting is one thing. What I was hiding is a whole other.

Her eyes widened and she nodded, looking away before swinging back to say, “But I heard you guys actually did really good—”

“It didn’t go well,” I cut her off, glancing up at him. Still looking anywhere but where I was.

We started a few minutes later, and I knew we’d all be exhausted by morning—especially Jack. So many angles were needed. So many takes. We all moved and sang the whole time. At least this time they wanted to add some changes from the first shoot. The digital release would have extra scenes, including at this point—Stack and Mary dancing together as the circle spun around, for instance.

We’d become a real family out here. And tonight, we were having fun—the kind you only get once. I tried to forget about him, just for a little while. To enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience: dancing and singing with close friends, filming a major motion picture. Ryan said he loved how we were getting into it and to lean more into the enjoyment, so we did. I threw my head back in a full-bellied laugh, spinning through the circle, my skirt swishing wildly around my legs. Even Jack grinned, though Remmick's joy came with a flicker of something darker, more possessive.

The music was loud—Jack at the center, clapping and singing, leading the rest of us with infectious energy. Stack and Mary danced next to me, giggling into each other, when all of a sudden Michael passed her to Bert with a yelp and a giggle and grabbed my waist and hand, pulling me into a dance. I threw my head back and laughed, letting him lead me in the enthusiastic jig. He pulled me in close. We dipped and spun, laughing through it like kids. His arm tightened naturally around my waist, his hand resting low on my hip as he spun me again. It was genuine—we may have been covered in blood and sweating our asses off in the middle of the night, but we were doing it together. Having the time of our lives.

I didn’t feel his eyes at first. I was too caught up in the motion, in the sweat and music. When Michael spun me back into him, still laughing, that’s when I saw it. Jack’s expression had soured. Whatever flicker of joy Remmick had been wearing was gone. He scowled—at me. At us. As soon as we made eye contact, he set his jaw hard and looked away, continuing on with the scene.

We wrapped that scene in the early morning hours, completely exhausted. Everyone still clapped and cheered, whooped and hollered. We’d done it again. I watched from the sideline as so many people praised Jack, and he responded with half nods, polite smiles, and quiet thanks. He looked gracious—maybe even bashful to anyone else. But I saw it. The tension in his jaw. The way his smile didn’t reach his eyes. To anyone else, it looked like he was just being humble. To me, it looked like he was more upset than I’d ever seen him.

I waited for Hailee to walk to hair and makeup with me, needing the extra support. She made her way over, laughing as she came, and let out a relieved sigh as she linked her arm through mine and we began to walk.

We didn’t get far before he stepped into our path, eyes still averted. We stopped abruptly as he said, “Can we talk?” Hailee eyed me from the side, trying to gauge my reaction. I just looked at him, not knowing whether to be frustrated or relieved.

“I’m tired and sweaty and I want to get out of costume,” I said, landing on frustration.

He looked at me then—really looked at me. Soft, pleading eyes. “Please,” he said quietly.

I folded immediately, nodding and slipping my arm from Hailee’s. She didn’t let go right away. Her fingers lingered against mine in a silent warning. I looked at her and said, “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

She nodded back apprehensively. As she walked away, she said, “Watch for gators. Or worse.”

We stood there in front of each other for a moment while people continued to file past us off set. He motioned for me to follow him, so I did. We walked toward the dilapidated building that was the old sawmill—Club Juke.

“Where are we going?” I asked as I looked behind us, most everyone having cleared off set. Being all alone over here by the water was creepy, and Hailee's warning rang through my head.

“A private word, please,” he said as he opened the door and let me walk in. It was dark inside, not lit up and staged for filming. The room smelled faintly of dust, wood rot, and old paint. The silence buzzed louder than the music ever had. I walked into the center of the room as he closed and latched the door behind us. I turned on my heel before he could even speak, breath already catching in my throat. 

“Jack, I’m sorry,” I blurted, guilt finally winning out. He started walking toward me, but my apology stopped him cold. Confusion clouded his face—and just like that, my courage drained away.

"You're sorry?" he asked, brow furrowed. I began to feel unsteady, the look on his face melting away the courage I had built up.

"Yeah, for—you know," I said, but he just continued to look at me the same way. I shuffled my feet and averted my gaze, heat rising to my cheeks. "For—you know, not telling you about the smut and stuff." He was silent for a few moments, which did nothing to ease my anxiety. I finally looked up at him when I really started to feel like I was melting under his gaze, and he laughed—really laughed—as soon as our eyes met.

"That’s what you think this is about?"

It was my turn to be confused. "Yes?" He continued to laugh, a sort of exasperated sound, before coming toward me. I hadn’t realized how used to him being in my space I had grown, how much of a relief it was to have him close again. I sucked in a breath and exhaled at the scent of him.

"No," he said. "I mean, confirming that it was me was part of the problem, but not like that." He was just within arm’s reach now, close but still hesitant as he looked me over.

"Then what was it like?" I asked quietly.

"Can’t you see?" he said, sighing when I didn’t respond, just stared at him wide-eyed. "I can’t stop thinking about you," he said, voice low. "Not as her. Not as Maggie. You. I’m fucking obsessed, and it’s driving me mad."

I stood there, too stunned to speak, my mouth slightly agape. My heart stuttered. I thought I was bracing for anger—mockery, maybe. But not this.

"I thought you’d think I was messed up for it—for hiding something like that. I thought you thought I was a pervert," I finally said, earning a chuckle from him.

"A pervert?" He raised his eyebrows. "I mean, you are, I guess. But I—I'm the true pervert. I can hardly be around you without feeling—feeling the way I feel. It scares me."

I stepped forward, almost closing the distance, and raised my hand to his bicep. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh at the touch, the scent, the proximity.

"How do you feel?" I asked softly, looking up at him. Both of us still in all our makeup.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me before responding in the same tone. "I can’t tell where I start and he begins sometimes." I continued to look at him, trying to understand. "You’re all I think about—all day. The next time I’ll see you. The next time I’ll touch you. I get so excited just to film scenes so I have an excuse to be near you. And I—I get so jealous. So angry. It scares me how angry I get. That’s why I’ve been pulling away. I haven’t felt normal. I’ve never felt the way you make me feel, and it terrifies me. Watching him touch you tonight—hold you, dance with you, laugh with you, fucking look at you—made me the angriest I’ve ever been. I told myself it was just the role at first, toeing the line of method acting too closely. But I realized yesterday I’d been lying to myself. I’m utterly fuckin' obsessed with you. Absolutely infatuated. You’re all I think about. All day, all night," he admitted, a slight flush blooming on his cheeks.

I blinked up at him, warmth rising to my throat. How had I not seen it? I’d been so deep in my own head, I missed all the signs. I stared up at him as his eyes searched my face for any of the answers I didn’t have.

"Say something," he begged.

"I feel the same way," I blurted out.

"What?"

"I’ve always been attracted to you, obviously. Getting this role is the best thing that ever happened to me. But ever since I found out it was you I’d be working with like this, I’ve been struggling. I was grateful just to be near you—any excuse to be touched by you, to have your attention. I think about you in ways I shouldn’t. All day. All night, too," I added sheepishly. "Yesterday was the best sex I’ve never had. And that’s saying something."

He continued to look at me as if in disbelief before sharing, "How I felt yesterday scared me. That’s why I pulled away. For the first time, I couldn’t separate myself from him—not unless I pulled away entirely."

Something in his eyes—hope or hunger or heartbreak—I didn’t know. But I wanted to give in to it. Just this once. I waited a few beats before whispering, "Then don’t."

"Don’t what?" he asked.

"We can pretend. For one night, we can pretend," I said, sliding my hand to rest over his blood-covered chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath.

He let out a deep sigh and rolled his head, fighting some internal struggle before looking down at me. Me, staring up at him—doe-eyed and full of trust and arousal. He grabbed my hips and pulled my body flush with his. I could finally feel the proof of just how badly he wanted me.

"Are you sure?" he asked, so quietly I could barely hear. I nodded up at him.

"I need to hear you say it," he demanded softly, his hand going to my hair, gripping gently but firmly.

“Yes,” I breathed out as he pulled my head to the side, “Remmick.”

He groaned, and then he was on me.

At my neck. The sob of relief I let out was palpable—a lifetime of frustration and yearning. He kissed, sucked, bit—blood and teeth be damned. I didn’t care if he left marks. I’d waited too long for this. 

His hands slid from my waist to where my shirt was tucked in and as he moved to kiss me on the mouth his hands slipped under the band of my skirt, and in one smooth motion, he peeled off my blouse and tossed it aside. I knew it was warm but the air against my suddenly exposed skin sent a chill down my back and goosebumps down my arms. The air kissed every inch of skin like it was claiming me.

We kissed fast and feverishly, his teeth gently biting down on my lower lip, demanding entrance, which I gladly granted. I could taste the blood on him—we were both covered in it. We kicked off our shoes before he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me up against him, carrying me to the only open door—the room where Sammy and Pearline fool around. I could feel his hardness pressing against me as we walked, could feel his strong arms wrapped around me. As we kissed, he made quick work of unclasping my bra and slinging it somewhere behind us. We both smiled into each other as we went.

In the room, he set me back down on my feet before him, and I stared into his eyes as he slung his suspenders off and lifted his shirt over his head. I let out a frustrated sigh at the blood running down his neck and chest—at the marks I had left just yesterday. Before he could finish, I unclasped my skirt, letting it drop to the floor, leaving me in just the red panties I had put on that morning. He groaned, low and deep, looking me over from top to bottom.

"Lie down," he demanded, and I obliged. The backs of my knees hit the table as I sat, then laid back, legs still dangling. "Put your arms above your head like you did yesterday." I did as I was told, the movement giving him a better view of the blood covering my breasts. I smiled up at him, all teeth, as he palmed himself while looking down at me. 

I went to move, to say, "Let me take care of that—" but he cut me off by gently but firmly pushing me back down and kneeling before me.

"No, I take care of you first," he said, as he slid his fingers through my waistband and pulled the red panties down my bare legs. Finally, I was laid before him in my entirety—exactly where I was supposed to be. He must have been thinking the same thing because he said, "Look at me. Don’t look away."

I did as I was told and felt two fingers slide through my slick folds. I let out a moan and threw my head back—and immediately, he pulled away. A groan left my mouth as I looked down at him, frustrated.

"I told you not to look away." I nodded in understanding and, this time, held eye contact as he reslicked his fingers. He rose above me, leaning in close as he said, "I want to see you when I enter you for the first time." He hovered just above my face—too far to kiss, just close enough to stare, enthralled. Then, slowly, he slid two fingers into me. I gasped, and he groaned.

"God, you’re so tight. So wet for me too." I nodded as I struggled to maintain eye contact. His eyes searched my face as he pumped his fingers in and out like he was fascinated—enthralled with the control he had over me.

His thumb slid up to begin rubbing circles around my clit, earning a deep moan of satisfaction from me.

"Can I please touch you?" I begged.

He nodded, so I reached up to touch him—any part of him. I tried to pull him down to kiss me, to feel more of him, but he didn’t budge. So I turned my head and began kissing his arm where it was braced next to my head. He didn’t seem to mind—in fact, he moaned at the mess I was making of his arm.

He knew just how to touch me, like he’d spent years figuring it out. My orgasm coiled tighter in my belly, seconds away from tipping over—when he stopped. Just stopped. I gasped, then groaned in frustration. He only smirked as he began to move down my body, his hands trailing over my breasts and down my stomach, smearing blood as he went.

He began to kneel between my legs, spreading me open. The floor creaked beneath his weight, grounding the dizzying heat in something real.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m tasting you the first time I make you cum.”

The sight of him between my legs was almost enough to send me over the edge already. I half sat up on my elbows as he placed one of my legs over his shoulder, one hand wrapping under me to rest on my abdomen, the other sliding two fingers into me again. I moaned in satisfaction and threw my head back as he slowly began to pump in and out. He was so close to starting—I could feel his warm breath against where I so desperately needed his mouth—instead trailing kisses up and down my thighs getting closer and closer.

Before he began, he admitted, “I was so close yesterday. I could smell you, see how wet you were for me. I was under your skirt—no one would have known if I had just—”

And there it was, finally. The soft contact I so desperately needed. His fingers pumped into me with perfect rhythm as his tongue lapped and sucked at my clit.

I brought my hand down into his hair and tugged him closer, earning a deep growl that vibrated through me. I was already close, moaning loudly and lewdly, when I looked down and saw him looking up at me. His gaze commanded mine, like he knew every tell I had. I stared into his eyes as I came for the first time.

He didn’t stop. He removed his fingers, raising them to my lips for me to suck clean. I didn’t need him to tell me—I just did. I tried to stay still, but his tongue quickly drove me to overstimulation. That’s what the other arm was for. He held me firmly in place, my thighs squeezing around his head, my hands trying desperately to push him away as I gasped for air.

“Pl–please–Jack–I’m gonna—”

His hand—no, his palm—suddenly covered my mouth. I bit down hard as I came again, the only thing keeping me from truly screaming. White-hot pleasure burst through my body, stealing my vision, making me shake. He kept going just a moment longer, then finally stopped, sensing my limits.

I lay there, chest heaving, staring at the ceiling. After what felt like hours—but was only seconds—I sat back up on my elbows and looked at him. He knelt between my legs, smirking, blood on his face and chin now mixed with me.

“Don’t know how I’m going to explain this to the costume department,” he said.

A confused look crossed my face as I glanced down to where he was looking. His chest was dripping wet, his pants soaked. My eyes widened. “I’m so sorry—I couldn’t control it. I didn’t even know I could do that.”

His smug satisfaction only deepened. “Aye, don’t be sorry,” he said, rising to stand. “I’d rather tell them I pissed myself than have you apologize for that.”

He was still talking, but my eyes locked on the large bulge now at eye level. My mouth watered, all the relief I’d just felt was gone, replaced with raw need. He moved to grab my skirt for me, but I caught his arm.

“Jack, Jack, I need more,” I begged.

He slowed, looking at me as he shook his head. "You don’t owe me anything—"

"Please, Remmick. I need you."

His eyes darkened as he dropped the skirt, hands immediately going to his belt buckle and unclasping it in one swift motion. I reached up to grab at his pants, tired of him doing all the work. Let me do something. I needed to do something. He let me unbutton him, let me pull the rest of his clothes off and toss them to the side. Now we were even. He stood before me, hungrily looking down at me.

And I met that hunger. Reached for it. Owned it. I was fully sat up now, looking up at him wide-eyed. He wasn’t going to make the first move. He wanted me to. So, I reached out and grabbed him, stroking the bead of precum down his shaft tentatively, testing the movement. His head rolled back, eyes closed as he let out a deep groan of satisfaction. I continued for a few strokes, gaining my footing, before I took him into my mouth.

He gasped, hand flying to my hair to rest there, nestled in and guiding me. His groans were loud. I tried my hardest not to hurt him with my teeth—I must have been doing a good job because before I knew it, he was yanking my head away.

"Love, if you want to go any farther tonight, you have to stop that now. If not, I’m going to finish."

My only response was to lay back, scooting my butt as I went until I was fully laid on the table, spreading my legs wide for him and maintaining eye contact.

"Fucking Christ," he breathed before climbing onto the table and over me, nestled between my legs, one arm braced beside my head, his other hand stroking himself lightly.

"Are you sure?" he asked one last time.

I bit my lip and nodded.

"Then beg," he whispered, low in his throat. There he was above me—red eyes and all. The obsessive man I had become obsessed with.

I breathed the words into the space between us, trembling with need. "Please, Remmick. Please fuck me."

His brow pressed into mine as he slid into me, both our eyes going wide. No gasp, no moan—just my mouth hanging open in stunned, stretching pleasure as I adjusted to the size of him. Before I knew it, he was moving, slowly at first, head nestled in the crook of my neck planting kisses and love bites. I turned my head against his cheek, feeling his jaw scrape against my skin, slick with sweat, spit, blood—us. I moaned quietly in his ear. Small, lewd moans only for him.

His thrusts became harder, drawing louder sounds from me as he kissed up my neck to my ear, scraping his fangs lightly as he went.

"Tell me you’re mine," he whispered.

I turned my head to look him in the eyes. "I’m yours. I’m yours, Jack. I’ve always been yours."

I saw the softness return—the man I had spent countless nights with, laughing in my trailer and on set. I saw admiration—more than that—love, as he looked down at me. Then his lips were tenderly on mine, and we stayed there for a while, kissing passionately as our pleasure built.

"Fuck," he groaned, suddenly sitting up. He was now kneeling between my legs, hands gripped tightly on my hips, looking down at me as he thrust. So similar to the position we were in yesterday—his face the exact same, chest heaving hard. The sight of him there, still in costume as Remmick, nearly pushed me over the edge.

He grabbed my legs and lifted them onto his shoulders before leaning down over me again, the position allowing him to reach impossibly deep. I never knew I was this flexible, but God, am I thankful to find out. I was close to my third, and I could tell he was close too.

That’s when we heard it.

"Jack!" Hailee called from nearby outside. He slowed, frustration furrowing his brow. I reached for his hips, desperately grasping for him to keep going, but it was clear he was going to stop. I let out a groan—but then, my name. Not Hailee—Michael called my name from outside.

He stilled, eyes flashing with irritation, the sound of my name on someone else’s lips slicing through the air. They had come to look for us after we didn’t show up to get out of hair and makeup. Jack's whole body tensed over me—and then he began to move again, faster than before.

They were just on the other side of the door. One wrong sound and they'd know. But it did nothing to slow Jack down.

Then they were at the door of the Mill. It was locked from the inside, but they still pulled on it and tried to get in. I was so close—so impossibly close. He was pounding into me at an impossible speed, at an impossible angle. My hand flew to cover my mouth as I began to reach my climax, and immediately it was yanked away and pinned above my head. I bit my lip, hard, looking up at him, searching for answers.

He was moaning loud, seemingly on the edge, and all he said—breathless and feral—before spitting on his fingers and reaching down to rub my clit was, "Mine."

I came—hard—screaming his name. I couldn’t help it. The same white-hot flash tore through me, a thousand times more intense than the last. He must have been waiting, or the feeling of me finishing pushed him over the edge too, because as soon as I was done riding it out, he was right behind me.

From outside, I heard Michael say, "Oh, shit." Hailee's laugh followed, fading as they walked away.

My legs were gently lowered as he collapsed on top of me, chest heaving, still inside me. I breathed heavily too, my hand running gently through his hair as his head rested on my rising and falling chest. Finally, he looked up at me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Was that really necessary?"

He chuckled. "No, probably not—but we were pretending, remember?"

"Hmm," I said, trailing my hand along his chest and arm mindlessly. "And are we still pretending?"

He waited a moment, trying to read my face. "That depends on how badly you don’t want everyone to know about us. Because—they’re gonna know."

"I’m fine with everyone knowing. Just feel like there might’ve been a better way to tell them, is all."

We both laughed, and he brought his hands up to caress my face. That’s when I noticed his hand—the blood. Real blood. I grabbed it to look at the puncture marks where I had bit him.

"Jack, you’re bleeding," I said, worried.

He chuckled, pulling his hand away nonchalantly. "Small price to pay for making you squirt."

We both laughed again, and he added, "Gonna have to explain that to costumes too, ‘cause I definitely got blood on me trousers when I was admiring my work."

I smirked at him. I should’ve felt embarrassed—but instead, I just felt... satisfied. For the first time in a very long time, if ever.

We laid there for a while, me on his chest, his hand in my hair, just feeling each other breathe. Listening to the sound of his heart.

"Sun’s coming up," he pointed out. And indeed, through the open door, I could see the line of sunlight starting to stretch across the room beyond.

I began to move. "Fuck, we gotta get these costumes back—they’re gonna be pissed," I said, rummaging around for my clothes, Jack close behind me.

"Yeah, and these contacts are really starting to hurt my eyes," he said with a laugh, pulling on his pants.

I chuckled at him sideways and tossed him his shirt.

I followed him to the door. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at me before unlocking and opening it. Then he turned to me, smile softening as he reached out his hand. I took it gently—and together, still marked and aching—we stepped out and into the rising sun.

[deonsx]

Hi!!! I wanted to ask for an asthmatic!readerxRin, maybe they are best childhood friends and Rin feels the need to take care of her all the time:) 💞💞 (rry if my writing s bad, english isn't my first language)

Hii your writing is very well dont worry have a nice read my dear reader!! I wanna add sae here^^

The two of you had been inseparable since you were kids. Rin Itoshi wasn’t the kind of person to form close attachments easily but you were an exception. Maybe it was because you always stuck by him no matter how prickly he got or maybe it was because you were the only one who truly understood him even when he couldn’t put his feelings into words. Either way you’d been his best friend since forever

Your asthma however had always been a point of concern for him. From the first time he saw you struggle to breathe after an intense game of tag in the park Rin had made it his unspoken duty to look out for you “Are you sure you’re okay” Rin asked his teal eyes narrowing as you rummaged through your bag for your inhaler. You waved him off with a sheepish smile your breath still slightly uneven. “It’s fine Rin I just overdid it a little”

“You always say that” he muttered crossing his arms “But what if I wasn’t here What if-” He cut himself off jaw tightening. You sighed feeling a twinge of guilt. Rin rarely let his emotions show but when it came to you his worry was always just beneath the surface

“I’m fine really You don’t have to babysit me all the time” you said softly placing a hand on his arm. Rin glanced at your hand his frown deepening. “I’m not babysitting I just-” He trailed off his gaze flickering to the inhaler in your hand “I just don’t want anything to happen to you”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten and not because of your asthma. Rin wasn’t the type to say things like that easily which made it all the more meaningful when he did “You’re stuck with me for a long time Itoshi” you teased lightly trying to ease the tension. “I’m not going anywhere”

Rin didn’t smile but the sharp edges of his expression softened “Good Because if you scare me like that again I’m not letting you out of my sight” You laughed but the promise in his voice was clear. Rin would always be there for you whether you wanted him to or not

When he insisted on walking you home after school even though his own house was in the opposite direction “You didn’t have to come all this way, Sae” you said, adjusting the strap of your bag as you glanced at him “I know” he replied, his tone as flat as ever

“Then why are you here”

“Because I felt like it” You rolled your eyes knowing you wouldn’t get a real answer out of him. Sae’s way of showing he cared was always indirect like carrying your bag when you were too tired or slowing his pace when you were out of breath

As you approached a hill on your route, you felt the familiar tightness in your chest. You tried to keep your breathing steady, not wanting to draw attention to yourself, but Sae noticed immediately “Are you okay” he asked, his sharp gaze flicking to you. You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah I’m fine”

“You don’t look fine” he said, stopping in his tracks. “Did you bring your inhaler” You sighed, pulling it out of your bag. “I’m fine I just need a minute” Sae didn’t say anything, but he watched you closely as you took a puff of your inhaler. His silence was heavy, not with judgment but with unspoken concern

When your breathing finally steadied, you looked up at him. “See All good. You don’t have to worry so much” He clicked his tongue in irritation. “You say that every time and yet I always end up having to worry” You laughed softly, his frustration oddly endearing. “You’re too serious, Sae. I’ve been dealing with this forever”

“That doesn’t make it any less serious” he shot back. “You’re careless” You raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re overprotective” Sae didn’t deny it. Instead, he sighed and grabbed your bag off your shoulder. “Let’s go. I’m carrying this the rest of the wayy”

“I can carry my own bag” you protested “Too bad” he said simply, already walking ahead. You smiled to yourself, jogging slightly to catch up. Sae might have had a sharp tongue and a cool demeanor, but moments like this reminded you of how much he cared even if he’d never admit it out loud

Enjoy!

[harryhighkey]

"i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

i've been seeing things based around this everywhere rn and to me it is SO in-ho coded, he loves to look after his girl!!!!!!!!!!! so here are headcanons for fem!reader x in-ho/frontman/player 001/young-il based around the idea of: "i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

-----

car door:

this is the most obvious one, and it's every. single. time. whenever you two are headed towards the car and get closer, he speeds up his last few steps and reaches for your door before you have the chance. as you get in, he places his hand on your back and makes sure you're safely inside before he shuts it for you. there was literally one time when you beat him to it because you wanted to know what he would do and he was genuinely pissed off in the car while you couldn't stop laughing. that pissed him off more. "you're being so overdramatic." you teased him between giggles. "you'll pay for this when we get home."

suitcase:

you two often find yourselves with suitcases, going from your home to the island. each time you tell in-ho, "no, i can carry it!" as you try to keep a strong grip on the handle, determined not to let him take it off you this time. and each time he rolls his eyes, "i know, but i've got it." and he takes your hand off the handle, replacing it with his and wheeling it away before you can fight him on it any longer.

opening a jar:

this is one he has to actively catch you struggling to do it in order to help you with it, because you refuse to ask for help with this. this is something you believe you should be able to open on your own. "fucking hell." you'd curse. "hand it over, pottymouth." he'd quietly been watching you, trying not to laugh. "no, i don't even feel like it anymore." you'd stubbornly put the jar away with a huff. "sure, baby." in-ho would laugh, making a mental note to loosen the jar when you weren't looking.

holding the umbrella:

"ugh, i hate the rain." you say in your whiny voice, especially if you're caught out in it. in-ho knows all too well how getting wet (from the rain that is) annoys you, because you let it be known every time it rains. with a smile on his face, he extends the umbrella and pulls you in close, you latch onto his arm with both of yours, but he always makes sure that the majority of the umbrella is covering you. he dots a kiss to your cheek, trying to get that grumpy expression off your face. "this is the only time i like to keep you dry."

filling up your water bottle:

he'd never met someone so attached to a water bottle before. because you were always sipping on it, he'd come to learn how it sounded when it was almost empty. he'd also come to learn that when it was empty you couldn't really concentrate on anything else except how thirsty you were. of course that was psychological, you'd just had a bottle of water. but you didn't like it when he said things like that. so now when he would hear it nearing empty, he was quick to grab it and fill it up. if he happens to walk past it and you're not there, he'll pick it up and give it a shake to see if it needs a refill, too.

blow drying your hair:

you both love this. your arms always get tired when you do it, but you hate to go to bed with wet hair. in-ho is an observer, and he'd watch you as you did it. seeing you sigh and drop your arms to take mini breaks, by the third time watching you blow dry it, he decided it was time to step in. "here, give it to me." he held out his hand. "oh, no. it's okay, i'll finish it, i'm just resting my arms for a sec." you told him with a smile. "i'll finish it for you." you handed him the blow dryer and he went to work. you'd smile at him in the mirror, not sure how you got so lucky.

[juliettejwnewinesa]

do you have any headcanons about weak hero character’s family? about their parents siblings etc for example i saw headcanon that seongje have younger sister and he is protective of her

💢 Weak Hero Family Headcanons 💢

(canon-inspired + emotional damage edition)

🥊 Ahn Suho

Suho's mom works long hours—maybe a nurse or a convenience store manager—so he grew up kind of fending for himself.

His dad left when he was young or passed away—Suho never talks about it, but there's a picture frame on a shelf that never moves.

He has a strained relationship with extended family—he doesn’t visit relatives much, even during holidays.

He’s incredibly respectful and protective of his mom. He keeps his grades decent and tries not to let her see his injuries from fights.

The way he treats his friends? That's learned from watching his mom never give up despite exhaustion. Loyalty is his love language.

Headcanon: When Suho gets home from a bad fight, he lies to his mom about being tired from studying. Then he stays up doing real homework so she won’t worry.

🧼 Yeon Si-eun

Only child. Cold, emotionally distant parents who prioritize achievement and image over affection.

His father is extremely controlling—he expects perfect grades and no distractions. Probably the type to say “emotions are weakness.”

sieun’s mother might be present physically, but she doesn't interfere. She’s passive, maybe scared of the father too.

Sieun didn’t grow up with affection. That’s why he doesn’t understand his own feelings at first—why he's drawn to Suho, to having people in his corner.

Headcanon: siuen once had a goldfish as a kid. It died while he was at school and no one told him. When he asked about it, his dad said, “It was just a fish. Don’t get attached to unimportant things.”

😎 BeomSeok

Textbook pressure-cooker household. His dad is probably in a powerful position—politics, corporate, or law.

He’s been compared to others his whole life, especially older siblings or cousins. He’s always trying to prove he’s not weak or worthless.

Physical/emotional abuse is heavily implied. His dad believes fear = discipline.

No siblings mentioned, but if he has one, it’s probably a “golden child” older brother who excels and makes him feel invisible.

Headcanon: BeomSeok’s room is spotless. Not because he likes it, but because his dad used to punish him for small messes. Even now, he checks twice before leaving.

🔪 Park Humin

Lower-middle class family. His parents are good people, but probably struggling with finances.

He might have a younger sibling—a baby sister or brother he absolutely adores. He’ll work part-time jobs just to buy them snacks.

His mom is a sweetheart. His dad might be quiet but present.

He acts like a goofball, but he carries the weight of wanting to protect both his family and his friends.

Headcanon: Humin has drawings his little sibling made taped to his wall. He acts like it's no big deal but would absolutely throw hands if someone laughed at them.

🥋 Seongje

YES. Seongje absolutely has a younger sister.

He’s overprotective to the point of being annoying. Walks her to school. Grills her male classmates. Once threatened a kid for copying her homework.

Their mom is a single parent or works a lot, so he grew up filling in as the “man of the house” early.

His sister teases him like crazy—calls him “drama queen” or “wannabe gangster.” But she loves him deeply.

Headcanon: When she was sick as a kid, Seongje skipped school to make her porridge. She still brings it up to embarrass him.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

Idk if you've been asked this before but do you have a ideas why Curly's hands and feet had to be amputated? I understand that his fingers would've been fucked to all hell... Maybe because he was in the front of the crash, considering the foam in the cockpit, the impact's recoil and being burnt alive (as seen in Jimmy's hallucination), it's a miracle he survived at all.

In the cryopod 20 years later or perhaps in the meantime, I hope Curly died a quick death somehow. It's what he deserves, but hauntingly unlikely.

at least for his hands, i imagine the foam ate them.

the foam covers the controls completely, so i assume his hands got encased in foam as he was trying to steer. and then you have the delusion from jimmy of the axe planted into curly's chair for the feast scene, so thats where my mind goes. gotta carve him out of the foam, and whats left of him is probably too weak to get yanked out (even in daisukes escape from the foam had a lot of yanking and struggling, with enough momentum needed that he took several steps to right himself after pulling out of it)

they said the cockpit had the worst damage, they were too scared to even go inside it for 2 months. so whatever they did to dislodge curly from the foam was fast and dirty. im not very knowledgeable with medical injuries and the realism of them, so i dont have much other than that.

i do think curly did catch on fire and get roughed around from the crash, so maybe those teamed up to cause the need to amputate his feet as well due to the dead tissue. doesnt seem like a good idea to keep necrotic tissue attached to your body, if it doesnt fall off on its own.

sadly im in the opinion that curly dies painfully slow and agonizingly after his 20 years is up. esp if you take how how fish is made/the last one and another ties into mouthwashing and if you consider that canon. thats a lot of time to sit there and Think about everything.