#and i don't even need to have a consistent schedule since it'd just be for fun...

[theend1shere]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[dokidokiliteraturegirls]

Progress Update: September 2024

Hello everyone! Yui Wrong here, to give you an update regarding the progress that's been made towards bringing Feel Less back from hiatus 💖

So! Soon it'll be 2 months since Feel Less went on hiatus. And on the one hand that kinda pisses me off bc I really really like publishing this webcomic and not doing it feels like I'm missing something important from my life 😭 on the other hand, I'm satisfied with the progress that's been made! Development of updates #37 and #38 has been steady, so I don't feel like I've wasted time. However, although I've been consistently making progress towards Feel Less's return, I feel like there's been some radio silence here in the blog, so I wanted to give you all an update about how things have been going ^^

For starters, lemme start with what I've been doing. Before doing any illustrations for the new updates, I decided to take a small break to practice my art style, as I was really unsatisfied with how my drawings were coming out. I focused on head shapes, as those felt inconsistent in my art. Here's a couple doodles I did in August for practice

I want to keep practicing, but I decided figuring out a consistent head shape was enough for now and got to work on the updates. And I'm glad I did! I do believe there's been some noticeable improvement in some pieces~ Like for example, take this old MG illustration compared to a WIP for update #38

I like both, but I'm especially happy with the 2nd one~

After practicing for a couple of weeks I went straight into planning out the next updates and got to work on the artwork. And the result was that... 29 illustrations in total would be needed for updates #37 and #38!!

That's. Too many. So while drawing I've also been cutting the plan down and deleting some superfluous panels. After trimming the excess, I ended up with a much more realistic... 27 panels!! There, now that's doable 🥰

I jest of course, but my point is that a lot of work needs to be done and I've been consistently going at it for the past 2 months. As of now, 9 of the illustrations have been fully completed. I also have 2 WIPS I'm currently working on, so that number will go up soon.

Does this mean it'll take 4 more months to get this done? Of course not! ...hopefully. Listen, I make no promises, but I'll try not to take too long. I value your time and am really grateful for your patience. Besides, I don't want people getting bored because I took too long to return from a cliffhanger. I'm not Andrew Hussie. My full time job and real life chores usually mean that I only have about an hour a day to work on art, but I have a couple plans to make production faster, such as cutting down some more planned panels and buying a keyboard that doesn't make noise. Why would a keyboard's noise be relevant? Well, it's not. I mean, I guess if I had that, I'd be able to draw while taking calls from work without my bosses noticing, as it wouldnt be picked my the microphone, and that'd give me an extra 10 hours a day to draw. But I won't do that, because that'd be irresponsible and unprofessional. So therefore, the keyboard is irrelevant. Forget I mentioned it.

Also, a point I imagine some people might be wondering: Why make it so long anyway? There's no one forcing me to have complicated scenes or almost 30 illustrations. It's my webcomic, I can do whatever I want. And taking a long break where I'm not even on break might sound like a dumb idea. However, for me, Feel Less is not just a webcomic I publish on my free time. I'd like it to be a showcase of the very best I can do at the point in time when an update is posted. From that perspective, it'd be dumb not to put effort into it. To compromise the quality of my works for the sake of following a schedule has never been something I've been a fan of. Now, I do want to be realistic, but also I don't want to feel like I'm giving up and just putting out whatever I can finish by my imaginary deadline. It's a delicate balance, but for these two updates in specific, I think quality should take precedence for a bit. My goal is for you guys to read them and go "oh, no wonder it took a while". At least for those 2, then we can go back to schedule.

Overall, my point is: progress is being made! It's currently all being done behind closed doors, so it might not be noticeable for you guys. But I promise, I haven't been twiddling my thumbs for these past 2 months! Maybe I should've, because my hands are quite cramped tbh. But no matter, art must be made! In the meantime, I'll leave you with a couple panels I've finished so you guys can see some of the work that's been done~

I'll continue updating you guys as time goes on~ If you want consistent updates, I've been dropping the number of finished panels on the discord server every time I'm done with one! Also, if you'd like to help me get to the point where I can work only 5 hours a day and put more time into the comic, you can support me on Patreon and get some goodies and custom drawings while you're there ^^

Thank you all once again for your patience, I'll keep working hard for you all 💖

[my-midnight-musings-xoxo]

Spoilers for MadK!

---

I will never get over how short this manga is! On the one hand, I appreciate the story's length as is, it says everything it needs to and doesn't endlessly drag on. But come on!! Yes, I know we didn't need it, but I would sell a kidney to learn more about Makoto's home life because I'm a masochist and would've loved the pain of learning more about his lack of love from his entire family. His father is obviously awful and I'm glad he died but I want to know more about his mother and brother!! I would've loved to see initial reactions to their son's depravity, I just adore conflict. Imagine Makoto and his brother, I think they were supposed to be opposites with Makoto's brother being a lawyer or doctor? I know it's cliche but I would've liked to see just how isolated Makoto was, perhaps one night he confided in his brother. I like the idea of them always being different but always loving each other, so Makoto goes to him to find comfort, only to be rejected. Perhaps his brother lashes out, maybe he tells their mother and then he's isolated from the family, being told they're son and brother solely in name and blood.

Is it necessary, absolutely not. Is it filler, absolutely. Is it deliciously tragic, yes.

I also would've loved to see Makoto's development of his fetish, I know it's called a kink but from my research kinks aren't always sexual but fetishes are (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong please!) so I'm going to call it that for now because it's always shown in a sexual light, from my interpretation anyways. I would've liked to see the gradual development of his fetish and the complicated feelings that came with it. I adore inner turmoil and I would've loved to see Makoto breaking down as his fetish fully hits him. A slow spiral as he grapples with how disturbed he truly is, then decides to get rid of himself before he hurts anyone. Again I know this isn't necessary, you could argue this would fluff up the plot and I agree, I just think it'd be an interesting extra chapter or something. Psychology has always been interesting to me, especially kinks and fetishes. How they develop, why, common ones, etc. I'm asexual so sex and sexual attraction are often viewed through a scientific lens for me, and honestly, I just find them interesting since I can't really understand them personally!

In a way the first chapter of MadK is comforting, hang on hear me out. I'm not saying J is a good person, but it was clear how safe Makoto felt with him. He summoned J to kill himself and to indulge himself before dying, but even so imagine how good he felt to just let go, to enjoy something he hated himself for enjoying for years. I mean we read it but still. I know that's the point of J's manipulation but it's still acceptance. Considering J wanted to make Makoto like him I like to think J truly accepted the part of Makoto none did. I don't know, I just think that's kind of sweet in a sad way. But that's probably just me projecting ehe.

Anyways! Not sure what I'll post next, J has been on my mind lately so maybe something about his design, it's one of my favorites! Or maybe more hypotheticals, who knows.

Sorry about the random uploads, fixed schedules tend to demotivate me but I'll do my best to be semi consistent, hehe.

Have a good weekend <3

[warthogreporter]

Thinking about the 'serialized rough draft then polished print/ebook version' model after a post mentioned being optimistic about it being the future, and now thinking about my own experience with it and having a newsletter that includes serial fiction.

For my own serial, Battles Beneath the Stars I have it on the same publication where I post non-fiction and short stories, because I was looking for a way to build a general author platform not dependent on social media and saw other people do it/ recommend it.

I've had people suggest dividing this into multiple specialized newsletters, but the idea of running multiple indefinitely ongoing newsletters doesn't appeal to me. Even if it's the same amount of writing, splitting them into separate publications feels like it'd be more time consuming for something I already have to make time for.

And I was drawn in by the idea of not having to 'niche down,' that I could just post my various interests and trust that to be my niche, not having to carefully select what I talk about and how much I talk about it. Like I don't want a mythology newsletter and a video game newsletter, I'd rather just talk about both depending on my mood.

Anyway, something that resonated with me when just starting out with Battles Beneath the Stars was the idea that a little roughness in serial fiction is part of the charm. So instead of having things mostly pre-written I've been writing as I go, getting some things written ahead of schedule but not too far. The pressure of a publishing schedule has been great for keeping me writing.

It's important to note that Battles Beneath the Stars is an unconventional oddball, a walkthrough of the story mode for an imaginary fighting game that's a crossover between various yet to be published stories in the same world.

Starting with something like that was strategic in thinking that it was better to do it before there was an audience to alienate, plus the sheer novelty would draw eyes. And also that for something like that it will end up undergoing some stylistic evolution as I work out new ways to make the most of the format, which would be interesting to watch happen, and well it has happened.

But I have a small overall readership after two whole years so I've had moments of doubt with Battles Beneath the Stars due to how often I publish to relative silence. I get consistent likes now, but it's rare to get comments, though the ones I've gotten made my day.

Looking at other serials like What Manner of Man they feel more polished than my own. I wouldn't call at least all of them rough drafts, especially since I'm literally mutuals with the editor of What Manner of Man. Not sure about the editing process for others like Case Files of Sheridan Bell/ Fractured Magic (same author), Talebones, or Chokeville.

I'm sticking with my current approach to Battles Beneath the Stars because despite everything I am getting this massive weird project done instead of leaving it on the unfinished backburner with everything else. The pressure of having to publish is powerful.

But thinking about what to do different in the future for other serials, I think things will be more written in advance, still keeping room for flexibility. And maybe give other serials their own publication. Though I still need to decide which stories would actually work as serials and which should be done in the more traditional draft and then publish way.

I think my Nordic Saga styled one would work as a serial because the saga style feels very friendly to serialization, short quick chapters focused on a specific event. And it's where some of the Battles Beneath the Stars characters come from.

If you read this whole thing thanks. Mainly just rambling and throwing out my thoughts hoping somebody finds this worth noting or helpful.

[jarateblog]

i've been so conflicted about this job i'm in currently. i'm not built for construction work physically or mentally and i hate my time spent on sites so fucking much but when i'm doing odd jobs or working with my coworkers i actually tolerate it pretty well. i've never had a team (or bosses) who i get along with so well and it's hard to find that in a job i feel

i just don't know what to do. do i suffer work that i despise and don't feel any pleasure in just for the money, and because i like the people? i suppose that's what most people are forced to do (though many times excluding the latter point). thing is, i'm actually getting paid more than i need, since i'm rooming with another person, and i can survive the pay cut currently.

i don't have much personal time anymore though and that really bugs me. i get that that's another aspect of adult life but i don't even get the time to listen or work on music. i just wonder if it'd be better on my health to have a more consistent schedule with my job

[demikempton]

New Year's Ask Game!!

💖, ✍, 🪩

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?

Oh I've not thought too much about it but I suppose finishing Nothing Short of Everything and starting a new story because I've got a few ideas floating around. I suppose the answer is to continue writing consistently 😅

✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?

If I'm being honest it's comments, I get seriously giddy when I get a comment on a new chapter and hear about what parts people liked, what stuck out the most. I've had a lot of lovely comments about world building and characterisations and how I portray anxiety and I just 🥹🥹🥹 Even though I'm writing for me it really makes me happy receiving a comment and feedback, so I'm trying to get better at leaving comments to because I know how much it means to me when I get one.

Hits are also wild because I'm still in shock that people are checking out the story and coming back to it. I really didn't think it'd garner a lot of interest but it did and it's a nice feeling 💖

🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?

Since it's been so long since I've done serious writing I'm hoping the creative flow doesn't stop, and even just write near enough everyday.

And be better at making notes for stories/scenes/events when I'm not able to write because I lie to myself when I say "I don't need to write it down, I'll remember"

Also being able to continue a consistent update schedule with anything else I write in the future.

[hazelplaysgames]

good lord that illness lasted too long. bit more than a week. my head has been clearer for a bit now, so i guess it's time to start thinking stuff out.

at bare minimum, i don't want to just abandon this blog almost out of the blue. at least, i want to put a few more things here before wrapping it up. to start, my first run of Persona 5, a decent amount of Side Order, and my so-far last run of Shield, since that one just needs to be edited. Persona 5 alone makes this a nice long time, so i'd probably still put out a fair bit of the usual Salmon Run to break it up a bit. on top of those three things, i am not immune to the siren song of any Big Runs or Splatfests that'd happen for the rest of Splatoon 3's lifetime.

effectively, with that minimum, it'd be business as usual for the next several months, at least. i kinda figured i wouldn't do the P5R third semester stuff to make way for a second run having something new in a year or two or so, but no sense in holding back if i wanna jump ship.

speaking of jumping ship, the big question comes down to whether or not i feel like i can keep using this site for this stuff afterwards. which, given that second half of February, i can't say that sits well with me. i know youtube would be the next best alternative, but how i do things here wouldn't translate well to there.

i think i can afford to wait on the logistics on that, for the time being. since i have stuff i still want to put here, i'll just focus on what i want for this blog for the immediate future, and figure how i want to move along later. the most optimistic scenario, i feel like i can just continue doing stuff here, but i ain't gonna hold my breath.

i'll be resuming clips next tuesday, i think? i need to get a move on on playing P5, so i'll take this time to get ahead of a queue schedule. tues., wed., and thur. will consist of P5, friday and saturday will be for Shield, and i'll have non-story Splatoon clips for the other two days. once Shield runs dry, i'll set that time slot for Side Order clips alone- usually, the queue, once full, basically worked as a spoiler safe buffer for a month or two, and this is gonna be the next best thing, though i am still gonna end up spoiling something about it before i even start it with that new fest. once i run out of clips i want for Side Order- eh, add Friday to P5, Saturday for splatoon 3, and see how things look once P5 runs out.

[saphig-iawn]

Fuck PC Gaming <3

i am so livid i am rage i am anger, i fucking hate pc gaming so much but i cant stop. so, story time. i play star citizen, and it is a very fun game when it works. there is so much to do and there so many cool things when it works. that status of working can change on a major update by major update basis, and it had been a long time since i had problems, until recently. the game is partially computed server side, and the servers will send your client the computed and rendered data so it can stream in the gameworld much better. but it fucking aint happening for me. huge lockups, sub 1fps for extended periods of time, over 2,000ms ping. I could not figure out what was causing it. some days it'd be fine, others it wouldn't. consistently, my game would lock up in crowded areas or at major orbital stations which I encounter every fuckin day for my chosen gameplay path.

so i begin investigating. star citizen has dedicated public facing bug reporting and tracking. NO ONE IS HAVING MY ISSUE. no one. no one single person. so i take to reddit (ew) and some people are reporting problems and saying "oh its the servers". BUT my friends are fine and not having these issues, and I was JUST running the game no problem like two weeks ago, so wtf? I dig into my graphics card's settings, turns out they weren't even set to run at max settings ON A GAMING PC. WHY, ON A GAMING PC, IS EVERYTHING SET TO SAVE POWER AND TURN OFF?!!?!?!? so i enable a bunch of settings that make the grpahics ccrd go oh fuck we playing games now lets fucking go. boot up star citizen. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. but the parts of gameplay that don't stutter run real smooth. progress but not progress I want.

I do a fresh install of the game and gutted its shader caches. see how things fare from a fresh start. and it.. works..? one of the big cities that i spawn in, rendered no problem, some pop in but consistent FPS, I fly up the orbital station, no hitching or lockups, i jump drive out to a further station, some hitching but no lockup or crashes.

AND THEN IT FUCKING RETURNS TO DOGSHIT THE FOLLOWING DAY.

i am at my fucking limits now girlies, i want to bottle flip a fucking armchair into a crowd of people. now a friend has stepped in to help troubleshoot. i am googling such specific terms to try and find whats wrong and all i'm finding are dumb copy-paste clickbait articles providing 'help' or reddit threads where the fucker who had the solution FUCKING DELETED IT. then in a dumbass fucking video thats like "hur dur how to get teh best frames in star game hur dur" they talk about the typical things you turn off to get better frames, xbox game bar, v-sync, windows game mode. and they mention hardware accelerated graphics scheduling. that needs to be on. surely on a gaming pc such settings ar- ITS FUCKING TURNED OFF.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING ALL OF THIS POWER IF NONE OF IT IS SET TO ACTUALLY WORK. ITS LIKE BUYING A FERRARI BUT NONE OF THE WHEELS ARE ACTUALLY CONNECTED? WHY NOT CONNECT THEM? PCs WERENT MEANT FOR GAMES. THEY'RE SPREADSHEET MACHINES, THEIR FAX HANDLERS, WHY CANT IT JUST DO WHAT SHOULD?!?!

CONSOLES JUST FUCKING WORK. THEY'RE PERFECT BEINGS. DIVINE IN THEIR FLAWS. MY 3DS DOESN'T KNOW ITS PERFECT BUT WHEN IT FEELS THAT CARTRIDGE CLICK INTO PLACE, IT KNOWS ITS PURPOSE AND EXECUTES IT WITHOUT FAIL, WITHOUT FEAR. IT IS BUILT TO DO WHAT IT NEEDS TO DO AND IT DOES SO FUCKING WELL YOU CLAMSHELL LITTLE SHIT I FUCKING LOVE YOU. FUUUUUUCK PC GAMING, FUCK YOU, AND i'll see you later because i want to steal from greedy corps in space with my friends in a buggy ass unfinsihed game

fuck

[watatsumiis]

Hey hey hey so I saw a roommate au and istg I have so many ideas flooding in now-

ok so every one agrees zhongli would be a great roommates and super organised helpful the whole package but let’s say someone like razor not so much

( wait now I want to make an offering / head canon thingy on a character now-Imma probably do it)

What’s your take on this?

Sips out

Ohh I love roommate AUs they're so silly (/pos) I'd absolutely love to see your takes on which characters would be good and bad roommates!! I'm gonna toss my rambling under a read more since it got. long. Sorry :3

I actually imagine Razor wouldn't be too bad of a roommate, once he's been taught the proper etiquette and how to clean up after himself. He'll build cosy little blanket nests around the house and bring home food to share. If asked, he'll do his best not to track mud in, and to manage some of the more tedious chores. it'd be like living with a younger sibling i think

I think some of the best roommates would definitely be as follows:

Zhongli - organised and responsible, the chore schedule is always consistent and fair. He may invite people over every now and then but usually gives prior warning, plus they're mostly quiet.

Al Haitham - as long as you don't bother him, he tends to mind his own business and quietly stay out of your way, which is all you can really ask for in a roommate.

Jean - though busy, she's quiet. Keeps to herself and cleans up after herself, but she will not clean up after you. She's got a knack for tracking what belongs to who and sticks with it.

Diluc is also fairly diligent in cleaning up after himself and running a household (when he's home, that is), so he makes for a fairly good roommate, unless you have a habit of leaving things laying around, in which case they'll probably accidentally get thrown out in his 3am cleaning fits

The very best roommate though, without a doubt, would be Thoma. It's like having a live-in housekeeper. Chores are unironically one of his favourite hobbies/calming things for him to do. He always cooks enough serves for both of you, with some leftovers for whoever might want it the next day. He's so kind and caring too, always checking in on you. It's like living with an older brother who is also your best friend. Though he simply cannot handle insects of any kind -- he calls you in if there's any kind of creepy crawly about.

The worst, however, would likely be...

Kaveh. If you've ever had experience living with someone who has ADHD, you might know what I'm talking about. He has a certain semblance of 'blindness' when it comes to messes on the ground or things left in places they shouldn't be, which can get pretty rough when he's always the one leaving them there. He leaves art supplies, diagrams, cutouts, leftovers and magazines wherever they may lay and just walks off, never to pick it up again. Things always end up in strange, unexpected places, especially when he's multitasking. He also eats all your food.

Bennett. Not for lack of trying, he works really hard to be a good roommate, but things always seem to go wrong when he's around. Broken amenities, taps left on, windows left open, the whole works. He'll offer to do your chores on occasion but they'll often need to be redone because he missed a spot, forgot to put washing powder in, or even shrunk your clothes by accident.

Ayato. He's a spoiled rich boy with no idea how to clean up after himself or do his own chores. He can't even cook for himself. He's competent in so many other things, but the basics of being a good roommate seem to elude him entirely and he'll often try to find ways to pawn his chores off on you, even stooping as low as to bribe you. He can be a bit messy, too, and tends to leave things just laying around. Sometimes he'll get mad if you try to clean things up that he's still 'using' (even if he hasn't sat at the dining table for three days, he's super insistent that those papers need to stay spread out all over it, exactly the way they are.)

Childe is a complete and utter slob. To the point where it feels like it's intentional. He eats your food and doesn't even try to hide it, leaving the rubbish out in the open (like he's bragging) or haphazardly tucked between the couch cushions. He'll take things from your room without asking and invite people over without any forewarning (or even inviting you to the big family dinner he seems to be throwing). He'll do his share of the chores if he's prodded into it, but he'll bitch and moan about it the whole time.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

[btsxmalereaders]

'Cause I Like You

Pairing: Yang Jeongin x male reader.

Prompt: "H-how long have you been standing there?" / "Long enough."

Word Count: 1,5k

Fluff | Requested

Masterlist

Don't forget to vote on whosfan and stream!

"Well, it's not like I haven't dated before." Changbin says as he plops down in the sofa, without taking his eyes off his phone screen. "So it doesn't feel any different."

"Now you have to be extra careful if you don't want it to be public, though." Chan intervenes. "Or at least you have the freedom to announce it whenever you and your partner decide."

As they keep talking about dating and how some other rules of the company, Jeongin seems to be more interested on the conversation he's having with you over the phone.

He chuckles from time to time, typing as soon as he receives a message from you. Your conversations for now consisted on sending each other memes and funny videos you found, and Jeongin always found that refreshing when he needed a break from his schedule. He also appreciated how you always are there from him, listening to whatever he needed to let out and to advising him when he was troubling. You were best friends for many reasons, but the fact that Jeongin would always find comfort and understanding in you, was priceless.

"Uh, Earth calling Innie, can you hear us?"

"Jeongin!" Chan finally makes him take his eyes off his phone by raising his voice a little. "How much are you doing on the phone? Ever since you came in you're smiling and texting."

"The dating ban just finished a couple of days ago and you've already found a partner? You really don't waste your time, do you?" Changbin laughs, making the younger blush.

"Shut up, I'm just texting Y/N."

"That's the only thing you've been doing lately, you finally gathered up the courage to confess to him your feelings?" Changbin casually comments, making Chris laugh as well.

"What? I don't- I-"

"Please," He cuts off. "We weren't born yesterday. It's quite obvious at this point and denying it is really useless."

Jeongin looks at Chan, wanting him to defend him and say that Changbin is wrong, but he simply shrugs. "What do you want me to say?"

"You're the worst." He simply states and continues typing, this time with trembling hands and reddened cheeks as he tries to hide the growing smile on his face.

So what if he has a crush on you, anyways? Jeongin never thought of confessing before as you two have a great friendship that you deeply cared about and has been really meaningful since you were kids; plus, as oblivious as it sounds, he hasn't noted any interest from you, so he is at least thankful he can have you as a friend.

"It'd be no surprise to see people confessing to you sometime soon, you know?" Chan says and pats his shoulder, now changing the tone of his voice to sound a bit more sweet. "Our Innie has always been so cute."

"You're embarrassing him." Changbin chuckles.

"I know, it's my duty as his hyung." He jokes and stands up. "Don't be shy around us about this stuff. You don't have to hide how you feel."

Before Jeongin can say anything about it, Chan exits the room with a smile and a small and careful movement to ruffle his hair.

Y/N - 04:48 p.m.

let's meet up later? :)

He nervously types his answer and sends it, trying to ignore how Changbin is repeating how cute he looks blushed just to tease him.

He may do something about his feelings, but not until he knew for sure you felt the same way.

To his own surprise, the words addressed to him a few hours ago by his leader came true. As he was leaving the building to meet you, a girl of his age whom he knew quite well and with whom he had started a good friendship walked towards him shyly, her cheeks so red and her hands trembling behind her back as she was holding a small box with chocolates.

Jeongin smiles and greets her as usual, not knowing her intentions and just listening carefully to her stumbling as she tries to calm down and properly confess her feelings for him.

In that precise moment, you walk to the building, not expecting to find that scene as soon as you step in. Your hands grip tighter the small bouquet of sunflowers you just bought and turn on your heels immediately, making your way back to whatever place you find empty to take a deep breath and maybe vent out. Of course, not being aware that Jeongin saw you from the corner of his eye and with the intentions to find you as soon as he could.

Jeongin was moved, for sure. But he didn’t feel that way about her. He tried to be as careful and considered with her feelings, but had to tell her that, even though he was flattered, he couldn’t reciprocate those feelings. He didn’t say it out loud, but for a moment he wished it was you saying those words instead of her.

She understood it right away, and with a shy smile, apologies from him and a hug, she walked away. Jeongin rushed to the exit and almost ran in the direction where you walked too, making quick stops at the front of restaurants and shops, hoping he'd find you there.

His heart is beating fast, and he spends a few more minutes walking and running from side to side, earning stares from the people around him but he doesn't seem to give up on finding you.

He walks to a nearby park and just as he is about to pick up his phone and call you, he sees you sitting on one of the park benches, and gets closer from behind you when he realizes you are talking out loud.

It's easy for him to tell you were feeling down; the way your voice sounds already gives away that you were trying not to cry.

"...'i really like you'? And then what? What was I expecting? Of course he only sees me as a friend." You groan, covering your face with your hands out of frustration. "Now I have to pretend that him dating another person doesn't hurt me... If I were only a few seconds early... Would it have changed a thing?"

"If it makes you feel better, you weren't late." He simply says, walking around the bench to stand right in front of you.

The expression on your face was a poem as soon as you realized he was there; had he heard you complaining? Why was he even there, in the first place?

"Jeongin," You hesitated, feeling embarrassed. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

He sweetly smiles at you, "Long enough."

"Oh, uhm-"

"Can you say it again, please?" He pleads, and you immediately know what he's talking about.

Your whole feelings for him could be better explained in a lot of words, but right now all you need to say is simple. "Jeongin, I really like you."

Jeongin's smile becomes bigger, and you swear your heartbeats could be heard by him now. He extends his hand for you to take it, so you do, standing up and being closer to him. His hands carefully travel from your wrists to your shoulders, and he takes another small step so that you can feel his fresh breath against the skin of your lips, longing for a sweet kiss. "Y/N, I really like you too."

Finally, you hear those words you've been dreaming with for a while. You put your hands on his waist and get a few millimeters closer, feeling like you're on cloud 9 while being on his arms.

You're barely a few centimeters apart but Jeongin still asks: "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," You nod. "Please."

Now with your eyes closed, he makes that last movement it was needed to make for your lips to finally meet. It's sweet; the velvety and tickling feeling making you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Jeongin is careful, subtly sliding his hands to the back of your neck and his lips slightly parting in an attempt to deepen the kiss. You quickly keep up with him, still slow and gentle.

You both pull apart as the seconds pass, recovering from the dizziness in your heads as you two experienced something you've been yearning, so intimate and significant. Your smiles adorn your flushed faces and the tips of your noses brush against each other.

Jeongin moves his hands to embrace you and leave more kisses on your cheeks, losing all sorrow and just letting the happiness act for him.

"Oh." He murmurs and you separate from him. "You got those for me?"

You turn on your feet to look at the abandoned sunflowers on the bench and you chuckle, picking them up and extending them out for him. "I did. You like them?"

Jeongin takes them with another shy smile, "I love them. Thank you."

"You used to say that if someone were to ask you out someday, you'd want them to give you sunflowers, so... I had to."

"That was years ago, how did you even remember that?"

"I set that as a reminder for the time I gathered up the courage to ask you out," You simply say and take his free hand. "So now I am taking you out. Shall we?"

Jeongin giggles and leaves a quick kiss on your lips. "Yes, let's do that."

[ren-c-leyn]

Hi Ren! I appreciate you and everything you do for writeblr, if you wanna rant about your wips, go ahead im all ears :D

Hey, Athena! Sorry to get around to this so late, life has been chaos and I have not been feeling well. I'm, thankfully, almost completely over that head cold, though, so I finally have some energy. ^^

Unfortunately that new-found energy has not been directed at any of the projects on my WIP list. On a whim, I installed the latest version of ren'py, and while trying to remember how it all works I may have accidentally created yet another project. It's working title at the moment is Between Moonlight and Shadows.

I would tell you what it's about, but I honestly don't know what it's about yet. I know there's going to be vampires and there's an old legend of a Dark Lord and a hero. I have done 0 planning ahead of time, everything is just happening as it happens, and I'm sure I'll regret that later since I'm already positive that it's going to have multiple choices/endings if I get that far with it. XD

The writing has been going well enough. It's not going very fast, but it is going smoother than I expected since it's been awhile since I've done anything in a script format. I do have to curb my instinct to describe the setting/character actions and that's a bit tricky to remember to do moving to a more visual format from writing stories. I'm not used to having a character show their smiling through art.

But that's fine. The main goal of the project is to just play with ren'py and coding again so I can familiarize myself with it again so I can resume working on the Dragon's Crown. My art still isn't quite where I want it to be to work on The Dragon's Crown, mostly my consistency is non-existent, but I'm getting closer so I thought it'd be a good time to start preparing.

I haven't really worked on any of my other projects since I got sick. I do have some chapters of The Shackles of Time I need to rewrite and schedule for December. I'm excited for the new adventuring team to make their grand appearance. It should be interesting.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Ninth Letter

----------------

To: Kim Mingyu

From: Y/N

Dear Mingyu, are you doing well?

Well, we don't see each other often anymore so I'm always wondering that. We used to always bump into each other at the grocery store or the mall. Now, I don't even see you anywhere.

I don't blame you for it. Now that we've broken up, I can feel your love. The love that you gave me when we were together still lingers. I haven't forgotten about you yet. Do you know why? It's because I'm convinced. I still love you.

These days, even after breaking up with you, I still think back on our sweet moments. I stayed up late a few days ago, just thinking back on our relationship and how far in love we were.

Before I go to sleep, I always feel the empty space beside my bed for you. You came by to my dormitory whenever you had the chance and would sleep in my bed because you said you missed me. Thank God my dormitory allowed visitors because if it didn't, we would have seen each other even less.

Even if I was just working on school assignments on my laptop, you would crawl beside me and sleep. Sometimes, no, every time, I couldn't stop myself from messing up your soft hair. You didn't want to bother me and just wanted to be by me so you slept, right?

Well, you sleeping was just as big of a distraction.

I promised to tell you on your birthday when and why I fell for you. Today is your birthday. April 6th.

I'll tell you, in this letter.

It wasn't on the first day that I began working at the cafe with you that I fell for you. I started working at the cafe in the middle of summer break for more money and you were my senior. You know how hard it was for me. I needed money for living expenses and my father was hospitalized for cancer.

I'll get back to the subject. I started falling in love with you because...well, you were you. Your personality, just the way you were made me gradually fall for you. You made my heart flutter and race with your gentle and caring actions. You were also funny and kind and clumsily cute.

Before I met you, I was battling a small heartbreak. I lost one of my friends because I liked them romantically. I was going to push myself away from love because you know, loving me is like a curse. I didn't want to fall in love again but then you... I met you.

At first, I was growing a bit suspicious of you? I was starting to think that you liked me when you always hovered over me and lingered behind me. You also held my hand frequently to ‘help’ me.

I didn't think much of it until I saw your eyes and smile. I always thought that I fell in love way too easily but I don't know how I was able to resist you. That's when your indirect back hugs began to make my heart pound.

Summer break was almost over and I became sure of my feelings the more that I hung out with you. We would also coincidentally meet each other at the grocery store, food markets, and malls, and we were able to hang out together that way too. Shopping with you was fun and memorable.

Since summer break was coming to an end, I didn't want to go back to college with a lump in my chest. I just felt like I should tell you about my feelings while not expecting us to date.

So, that's how I asked you out.

I made sure that it was only us in the kitchen of the cafe. I was pretty confident that you liked me back but I still wanted to ask.

We were washing dishes when I said, “Mingyu, I like you. What do you think of me?”

“You? Of course, I like you too.”

I won't lie, the answer got me a bit disappointed at first, but then you kissed me softly on the lips afterward and made me realize otherwise.

I liked the romance we had. There was no one to tell us apart. At work, when we were alone, you would become all lovey-dovey with me, sneaking kisses and grabbing my hand. I liked it. It gave me this feeling of... Youthful romance?

With you, I was able to overcome everything hard. College was kicking me constantly but I was always excited to come to work. I was always excited for the weekend because we could just lay in each other's arms. We would go on classic dates, holding hands, walking. Mingyu, it was because of you that I was able to smile.

You even visited my father with me, bringing delicious foods that you made yourself. Do you know how grateful I am for that? I always thanked you but I am truly thankful. My dad liked you a lot and wanted to see you often. Seeing you two get along made me happy.

I was really happy but of course, the curse had to strike and everything we built had to come tumbling down.

We didn't last long enough to even celebrate your birthday, which is regretful. I actually already had a gift for you, a nice watch because you recently broke yours, but I guess I can't give it to you. Maybe I'll slip the watch in the envelope with this letter.

I know for you, it'd be hard to believe what I'm about to say but please, believe me. I was cowardly and because I didn't want to hurt you more in the future, I made that decision.

Mingyu, I know I still love you.

Maybe there was a chance that we would break through and not drift apart but to me, that's nothing but assumptions and I don't want to get ahead of myself.

College is tough and I'm sure you understand that. After I got fired from the cafe, I knew that I wouldn't be able to see you that much anymore. Plus, you also know that I started taking more part-time jobs to pay for my father's hospital bills and my own living. We both needed money just as much as we needed each other.

Maybe if I made the decision of ignoring that guy, I wouldn't have gotten fired; but I couldn't stand it. I saw you too, clenching your fist as you watched, I just got to the guy before you did. I mean, how could he so publicly harass one of the waitresses? I was so angry and got out of control, so I threw a milk bottle at him. I don't know if I should regret that choice.

I don't want you to think that you were nothing but filler, something to fill in my romance cravings amidst my hectic schedules. I truly loved you and I know that because I feel it. I can feel this strong desire to stay with you, see you smile, spend time with you...

And if you read this letter, you might ask, “Then why did you break up with me if you felt like that?”

Well, I didn't want to become a burden.

The day was already gloomy and the weather said it was going to rain. I asked to meet up and when you rushed over, I could tell that you already knew what was coming.

I don't have enough time for love. My weekends became bombarded with part-time jobs so I was rarely at the dormitory. My schedules became hectic and school just made it harder for us to see each other.

It was beginning to rain when I started talking.

“Mingyu, I think we should stop seeing each other; we don't even see each other often.”

“But it's fine, isn't it? Why would we...”

“You know how it is for me.”

“It'll be fine, Y/N. I'll be here for you no matter what.”

I shook my head.

“Let's just break up.”

I don't know what was going on in your head but I'm sure you were angry. I couldn't read your eyes and I couldn't tell what you were thinking because I was consistently repeating to myself in my head while holding back my tears, ‘I'm sorry’.

“Why? We can overcome this! I'm sure I can help your father get better. We can live together, we can help each other.”

“I'm sorry, Mingyu.”

I remember you took my hand when as I was turning to leave. I almost cried.

“Why?” You asked. “I know we can...”

“Mingyu... don't get ahead of yourself. I don't want to ruin our relationship because of my problems.”

It was painful for me to let you go. I just gave you my umbrella and boarded the bus. You were too late and started chasing it but didn't catch up. I began crying so much that I had to cover my face and mouth. I'm sure people were looking at me. With rain pattering the windows, my tears flowed.

I hope that somewhere, you have left a trace of me.

I have a feeling that somehow, I could have chosen a better solution for this problem. Now that I'm spending a few days back here at my house, I miss you more than usual. I dream every day that maybe, we'll meet again coincidentally and you had been waiting for me, but who am I to think that when I was the one who ended it?

You've stopped posting on your social media.

Yesterday night, I looked back on our pictures in my photo gallery and my heart ached so much. Just seeing your smile was enough to cheer me up but break me down at the same time.

I wanted to reach out to you today and wish you a happy birthday. I kept typing and erasing, typing and erasing, and in the end, I didn't send any sort of text. Your birthday is almost over and I haven't said anything nor have I given you my gift. I'm sorry. If I do send the gift, maybe we'll see each other again, but at the same time, I'm afraid to see you again.

Your puppy-like personality, your sweet words, your soft gestures, your smile that can light up my world, your everything that I loved, I miss it all. Will time do its work?

Maybe one day I will move on and forget you.

I don't think we have another chance.

You probably feel betrayed that I don't think our love was powerful enough to overcome my problems. Was I selfish? I think so. Now that I think about it, I didn't want to drag you into my problems but I didn't give you much chance to speak. I didn't want to hurt you but even then, I only thought about myself. I guess I didn't want the guilt of having you bear my problems with me. I was selfish and didn't consider anything else.

I couldn't think of any other solution.

If we did continue dating, would it have been better or worse for us? Would we have broken up with bigger scars or would we have continued our love with stronger hearts?

Yes, I was stupid. I'm a fool and I'm sorry. I won't be mad if you resent me because I'm just a cowardly fool. This letter makes me realize that now, belatedly.

All this time, I thought I was doing something right by not taking you into hell with me.

In the end, I still don't know if I chose the best choice for us.

Yours truly,

Y/N

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

7/2/21 - 3:17 pm

a/n: I have finally learned the chorus choreography to RTL. It's not as hard as Home or Getting Closer but it's also tiring lol. I need to work more on my posture and angles to make it look good. What should I learn next...?

[sorenskyhigh]

Pets They Would Have pt. 2

Karasuno

Hisashi Kinoshita

Hisashi is a Train Company Employee. This means he works a lot of hours and just does not have the time to take care of, love and train any other pets

Fish are a really easy to take care of

All you have to do is remember to feed them and have a water filter to constantly clean their aquarium

Some fish, if handled when young, can get big and will let and love for you to pet them

But, they also are just very nice to have

Just to watch them swim around all of the plants with the light on at night

As I said, they don't need alot either

Hisashi could just let them be

They wouldn't beg or need constant love and attention like a mammal (dog, cat, rat, bird)

They also don't need constant vigilance for health issues or specialized diets like amphibian and reptilian pets

Hisashi is going to be tired when he gets home from work, so he needs a pet that is more ornamental than a chore

I feel if Hisashi were to have fish, he'd get the weirdest ones in the pet store

Hisashi seems to have a very strong inner child

So he would want either the flashiest fish, or the ones that cause a double take everytime their passed by in the store

He may get only one or two or get a whole tank full

I honestly feel like it could go one of two ways:

A- He has an aquarium for a wall in his house filled with his wild choice in fish or

B- He has a small, round, spherical bowl with two fish in it

It'd be funny if he had just the two fish to start with then they had babies even though the worker said they were both female

Obviously they weren't

They laid eggs and he had to transfer the female and daughters to one large tank and the father and sons to another so they wouldn't keep having babies

After this he has like 14 fish in total

Then he keeps finding himself at the pet store looking at the "ugly" fish no one wants

He buys these fish and ends up having two tanks that cover a whole wall

One's for his male fish the others for the females

But he screws up and learns the hard way that clownfush can change genders to help make babies

I'm being terrible to this poor guy let me stop

He so would be that fish owner to get real plants and "not those toxic plastic ones, how do they not hurt the fish???"

I honestly love the thought of Kinoshita just spacing out in front of his fish as he just watches them swim and do their own thing

Or if he were to only have a couple fish and he lets them get really big and pets them

Kazuhito Narita

Now, I know what you're thinking

Aren't Ferrets incredibly high maintenance?

Not really

Kazu ends up working at a Realty Firm

Generally their work hours are supposed to be around 40 hrs a week

But they often have to stay longer considering most clients can only meet up on weekday afternoons

So this means Kazu has to work a lot

Ferrets may be mischievous and a little destructive, but that's easy to fix

If a ferret is to be left at home alone for hours at a time, just get it a really big cage and tons of toys to play with

Plenty of food and water too, of course

But ferrets are honestly pretty chill

All they need is for you to clean out their cage around once a week, some light grooming here and there, and some time to run around

Apartment or house doesn't matter with ferrets

They love to just mess around and only need a couple hours of free time a day

They sleep most of the day, 17 to 20 hours usually

They also aren't very vocal

They have a specific noise they make when excited thats barely heard by most human ears

Fun fact about ferrets is they actually have pretty poor eyesight, but their sense of smell and hearing more than make up for it

The only real problems Kazu would have to worry about are hairballs getting lodged and dental issues, no different than a cat

I didn't pick a cat though bc, Kazu seems like the kind of person to have something that doesn't get riled up on a whim like a cat

Cats often have unpredictable moods, ferrets on the other hand can be energetic but won't get into a bad mood at the drop of a pin

They're generally very fun loving

Though, it is always recommended to get a pair

Ferrets are highly social animals, so they would need a buddy for when your not able to be there for them

Kazu would probably get one almost all white ferret and one almost all dark brown ferret for the symbolism

I love the thought of Kazu wrestling with one ferret, it wrapped around his hand, and then the other one if climbing on his back and sliding down the back of his shirt in playful retaliation

Tobio Kageyama

I really really wanted to give Tobio a turtle, but with him being a volleyball player in his adult life, that just won't work

Turtles need very specific temperatures and surroundings so they can live happily and healthily

I honestly feel in terms of personality, nothing but a cute little Eastern Box Turtle would fit him perfectly

I honestly struggled to find something that, to me, fit Kageyama Tobio but also would be manageable for him as a pro athlete

He's a very complex character and something with fur or feather just did not seem to suit him to me

The only problem is.......reptiles and amphibians are generally really demanding pets

From the food they eat, the the temperature their home has to be set at, its a lot of constant care

Some of them may not like constant physical touch, but they still need to be cleaned and have a constant watchful eye to check for any skin abnormalities

I decided on the African Fire Skink after much much MUCH consideration

These lizards don't get large, onky around 14-15 inches

And, unlike many reptilian nd amphibian pets, they don't require any specific heating or lighting

As long as your house isn't like consistently hot or cold or constantly changing between the two, their fine

They do need a substantial amount of dirt to dig and hide in

They mostly eat insects and one very rare occasion would appreciate a pinky mouse

These lizards are also shy and like to be admired from a distance

They don't like to be touched too much

They also have few and far between health problems uike other lizards

The only real problem is you can't find them at local pet stores but, they generally sell for around 25-70 USD

They also live for around 15-20 years

I feel like Tobio would have gotten his lizard as a middle schooler bc he didn't have very many friends, but he also didn't want a really needy pet since he doesn't know how to socialize well

Since this lizard like to be left alone, he could admire it from afar and this lizard could help him learn how to social better

Sorta.....

Imagine Tobio at a table in his room, doing some homework and the little Skink is just lazing about in a sunspot next to him 😍

Shoyo Hinata

YES YOU ARE SEEING CORRECTLY

At first for Shoyo I thought, okay maybe a hamster or a Guinea Pig or something like that

Ya know, something small but mighty and also, incredibly cute!

But I took a look at a list of pets that travel well and one of pets that can be left at howm for days with a proper care taker

I nearly shot myself bc I totally forgot that Hermit Crabs can be pets!!!!!

And they suit Shoyo so well!!!

They are small and sturdy

They fight back and pinch when threatened but can be very nice little pets to have

Hermit Crabs also love, sadly, for only around 10 years and can grow up to 6 inches long

Also, three to five shells per crab should be available

I am living for the idea that Hinata bought a bunch of shells for his crabs and painted them with little volleyballs and crows and ornage and black 🥺

These are good bc as long as you have someone reliable to feed them when they need to be while you're gone

Usually, if they're small, they're tiny wittle claws can't grab onto pellet food, so heir is a specific kind of almost dust like food for Hermit Crabs

Also, dark leafy greens like kale and broccoli or fruits like apples, bananas, and grapes are good too

Just choo them up really really tiny

They also need 2-3 inches of soil, silica play sand, and (optional) coconut fibers for them to burrow in when they molt

They also need a place for water to keep their little shells moist

They also need specific temps and maybe even mist their terrarium with water now and again

Something that us important and why Shoyi would need someone to come in and check on them is bc they are every vulnerable when molting

When a Hermit Crab molts they need to be separated from others so they don't get hurt

Like with many smaller pets you also have to thoroughly wash your hands before and after you touch them

Shoyo would fight Tobio when Tobio said his Crabs are boring and go into a long detailed argument about how each Crab has his/her own personality and how interesting they are

Kei Tsukishima

Did you expect this Dino loving nerd to have anything else other than a reptile?

I tried to find one, as you can imagine, that would fit his adult life schedule but also his personality

I really wanted to give him an Iguana or Chameleon butbthey were really demanding with care

Now.....I know

Anole are native to the Southern US and Southern Hispanic countries such as Mexico, Clolombua, and Venezuela

They are around 20cm long and only live a very short 3-5 years

Also if you own many most should be female and only one should be male if you choose to have any males at all

The males get very territorial and will fight one another

Also the males flair our their dewlaps (skin flap under their chin) in defense and when they feel threatened

The dewlaps are usually pink, red, or on the rare occasion blue

Females have these as well but don't flair them out as much

Anoles are very high energy but don't care to be touched too much

These lizards also can't be picked up by their tales as they have evolved to lose their tales and grow them back

Kei would like these as they are so odd

They're not only descendants of Dinosaurs but they can lose their tales and grow them back at will???

I feel like Kei would constant have new ones

His massive tank (you need big ones for these guys, they are very active and will resort to cannibalism if their space is too small) is never empty, always at least three

He has analbum on his phone of all of the Anoles he's owned and maybe even has a picture book with their names on it

Yamaguchi to this day is the o ky one that has had the privilege to see said book

Yamaguchi is also the only person Kei trusts to take care of his precious Anoles

And when one dies he has really small but none the less grand ceremony for a descendant of the mighty race of Dinosaurs

Yamaguchi always helps him set these up

I fell like he would give them really weird names as well

Like twig, stick, sock, glove, kneecap or some weird shit idk

I'll have Yamaguchi, Yachi, Yui, Natsu, and Saeko in the next one

My requests are open and I hope you enjoyed

@popcorntime-doodles @multifandombrainrot @kneecapstealingalien @jiheonity @weareallhumans123 @smallmangi @canadian-crow @just-jellyfish @immiamarais @i-need-coffee-now-pls @shadowsbutdead @ghostexhibit @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @all-around-fandoms31 @thatfunnysprout @itsallgonnabokayihope @g00s3 @boreateo @backalley-astrologer @vaniatslover @lil-mellow-bunbun @strawberrymakki @beelziee @taiyahhh @sakusasgerm @cr4z3d-cl0wn @brendanfkelley @mainnews32 @beelshumanworldburger @mehreenackerman @detective-bakugou

[deliverydefresas]

another aeroplane, another sunny place

AKA, the final bonus part of shape of you that wasn't posted here, but on wp. very much inspired by michael bublé's song 'home' back in 2017 that i finally finished writing a while ago. technically it can be read as a standalone os since that's how it was originally written as, but it also makes sense in the sofy universe. (just like another os i will post sometime next week that i *also* posted on wp but not on here)

ANYWAYS feel free to ignore if you've read it already, since i'm mostly just posting it here in case i need to reference it later!

may be surrounded by a million people i still feel alone, i just wanna go home

oh, i miss you, you know

He'd been on the road for eight months now.

He was grateful of all the success the Rollerband was getting; a worldwide sold-out tour, thousands of records sold, a renewed signing contract for another three years. He knew he was lucky, and he couldn't deny it.

Career-wise, he was happy, living his rock-star dream. His personal life was a whole different thing.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. And it was true, honestly. If he thought he loved his girlfriend before, he knew for sure now that he was ten thousand kilometers away. However, what they don't tell you, it's how hard it can get when such a distance is formed. He hadn't talked to Ámbar, like really talked, in two months.

Their relationship had gotten to an only-texting communication, with hello's and goodnight's texts received every day. The phone calls had reduced to once a week, if that.

It hadn't started that way, though. The first three months consisted of daily three-hours-long video calls, with the occasional visit if uni and her schedule allowed her, then they passed to a one-hour daily cellphone call... now they were lucky they even remembered to put 'i love you' at the end of their texts.

He didn't like it, not one bit. He knew where they were leading; he'd seen it first with Jim and Nico years ago (which was a reason he tried not to date anyone seriously), and then a few months later with Delfi and Pedro. Simón didn't want that for Ámbar and himself.

He checked the time; almost midnight where he was, so it'd only be around 7 PM in Buenos Aires. Her uni classes ended at three, so either she was at the J&R or doing homework.

Deciding he didn't have anything to lose, he pressed 'call' on his phone. Five rings later, she picked up, her beaming face appearing on his screen. Gosh, how he'd missed her.

"Aló, Simón?!" Her voice sounded a little breathy, but overall excited. He had to smile when he heard her. "How are you? I miss you," she sighed wistfully on the other side of the line. The hand she wasn't using to hold the phone went to her hair, twirling a lock away from her face.

"I miss you too," Simón answered, a small smile gracing his lips, "I'm coming home soon, only a couple of weeks more, little gem."

"It feels like too long, but at least it's sooner than eight months," she mumbled, sighing again, "how's Spain? Didn't you have a show tonight?"

"Spain's great, full of life," he remembered the crowd, screaming and singing along, "the show ended an hour ago. I'm feeling a little homesick, I guess," he admitted, "I wish I was there with you."

"Don't," she reprimanded him, shaking her head a little, "you'll be here soon, enjoy tour life while you can."

"That's the thing... I'm not enjoying it anymore." Ámbar went still at this. If it weren't for the tenue sound of music she was listening on her side and that he could hear through the phone, he'd have thought it's freezed on him; when he realized that wasn't the case, he continued. "It's been too long. I miss our bed, I miss waking up next to you, hugging you, kissing you... I miss our dog and I miss our friends. This life... it feels so empty, little gem." He wasn't ashamed to say he was close to tears. He loved touring, giving concerts in different parts of the world, meeting fans all over the globe... those were heavy pros. Simón just wished he'd have more time for his family.

"Don't think like that, Simón, please." She begged him, the little tremble in her voice gave away her emotions, her face had barely moved. Simón knew it was more for his sake than for hers. "I miss you too, so much it hurts sometimes. But this is your dream, love, this is what you've worked so hard for; don't let homesickness stop you from finding joy in what you love the most."

"I'll try, I promise I will. I just... I don't know..."

"I get it, I'm the same sometimes. But you must understand; we're not them, Simón." Her voice turned softer, understanding, and soothing. He loved that about her, that she seemed to know what to say and how to say it without a prompt given. "Do you know why they didn't work out? It's not because they loved each other less, or because the distance was too much. It was the pressure of feeling that if they weren't near each other, if they didn't talk to the other 24/7, their bond would break. It was too much, and it ended up leaving them strained."

"Is this your way of telling me you don't want to talk to me anymore?" he joked, his smile growing as she rolled her eyes.

"You're an idiot." She deadpanned, changing her position on the bed to recline her back on their bedrest. "Seriously, though, do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, love. I know I shouldn't care too much about how much we talk as it does not define our relationship but what can I say? I miss you." She grinned at him.

"I miss you, too. I'm always a call away," she promised him, but then she frowned, "unless I'm at class, then sorry, you'll have to talk to my voicemail."

He laughed, "I see how it is, a boring class is way more important than funny me. How's everything over there? How's my princess?"

"Always." She winked at him. "Everything's fine. I had lunch with my mom today, she made mushroom lasagna, I told her already that mushrooms taste like nothing, but she swears they're flavorful; I might go visit my dad tomorrow as well; he's been bugging me about having dinner with him and his family," he absentmindedly scrunched his nose at the mention of the fungi, he hated them, "Toppy is here, I can put you on speaker so you can talk to her, if you want. I can't promise she'll answer, though, she's been giving me an attitude lately."

"An attitude? You're rubbing on her, aren't you? When I get home, I'll come back to two Ámbar's instead of one." He teased her, earning a huff from his girl. "Let me talk to her, I bet she doesn't even recognize my voice anymore."

"You've always been her favorite, she will." She replied softly, and then it was quiet for a couple of seconds, while she took off the earphones' plug from her phone. "Okay, you're on speaker now. Toppy, babe, come greet daddy." Simón waited until he heard a 'thud' – followed by Ámbar adjusting her phone's camera so he could see both his girl and their pet- to speak again.

"Toppy?" Not a sound.

Before he could get sad he got no response, Ámbar spoke. "She's smelling my phone, talk again." She sounded amused, so Simón complied, cheerier this time.

"How's my favorite puppet doing? I heard you're giving mommy a bit of trouble. What happened to my good girl?" He wasn't done with his first question when the barking started, his pup's little whines sounded almost as if she was reprimanding his absence.

"She's missed you." His girlfriend exclaimed over the barking, chuckling at the way Toppy's tail swat rapidly.

"I miss her too." He sighed again, "I miss you both a lot."

"Just a few more weeks." She reminded him, her smile and tone wistful as she tried to contain the pup's wriggling body. He had to smile at that.

"Just a few more weeks." He echoed, the underlying promise loud to their ears. "I love you."

"I love you too." She paused for a second, before speaking again, "now please go to sleep, you look like you died a week ago." Simón laughed at that, but he knew better than to fight her when she was trying to take care of him.

"I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"

His words were met with a grin. "Not if I text you first. I love you so much, Simón."

"I love you more, little gem. Take care, okay? I'll see you as soon as I can." She sent him a kiss through the phone, before disconnecting the call. He stared at the screen for a couple of minutes, before the 'low battery' notification popped up and he had to charge it. The call left him feeling much better, so he decided to go to bed already.

Just a few more weeks ran like a mantra trough his mind, soothing his fears and anxiety. Just a few more weeks and I'll be home.

[umichenginabroad]

Prague Views and Brussels Sights

Dobrý den,

My week was surprisingly chiller than normal. I was supposed to have an exam in my Database class, but our professor moved it to next/this week because of a tech conference taking place at a local university (That means I have 2 exams coming up.... wish me luck). The talks were actually really interesting; I heard one on ethics and regulations on AI and another about greenwashing. Both speakers had tons of experience in their fields, and even better the conference provided free snacks :)

Anyway, I had some time before my afternoon class, so I decided to go explore other touristy spots around Prague. I don't know about you, but I definitely need my alone time especially when I'm consistently going to class and living with others. It was also one of the first warm weather days, so all in all perfect for a stroll. I didn't specifically have anywhere in mind and ended up wandering to Tančící dům and Vyšehrad. Tančící dům is this weird shaped building which I found out was a hotel. While I didn't end up going to the top, some friends said the cafe up there has pretty views. I rarely spend time in the southwest portion of Prague where Vyšehrad is located, but after my visit I'll definitely be back for a picnic or something else. There were 360 views of the city, and I could have spent the rest of my day there.

Dancing House, Basilica of Sts Peter and Paul at Vyšehrad, and Prague buildings, skies, and water

Short weekend for Brussels since we had a program trip scheduled! I'd heard mixed reviews about the city, so I wasn't sure what to expect. After our flight got delayed for almost an hour, I was thinking it'd be a bad sign. However, we were greeted with a double rainbow + sunset after landing <3

Besides some rainy and windy weather, I'd have to say the trip was a big success. Brussels is definitely a 2 day city. Since we only had one full day, I don't think we hit everything, but I enjoyed just walking around and being one with the city. One of the most noticeable things was the murals that decorated tons of buildings. I never read Tin Tin, but I think it must come from Brussels because multiple types of art referenced it.

Streets with a Tin Tin mural & my friend and I replicating a Tin Tin statue

The food also hit different ngl...Belgian and Liege waffles are on another level. I went back to Maison Dandoy the second day just to make sure I tried both. Belgian waffles are square, lighter, coated in powdered sugar, and in my opinion better for breakfast--since Belgian people actually don't eat these in the morning. Liege ones on the other hand are circular, denser, and have sugar bits in them. Mine was yummy, a little too sweet but good for dessert. Try the fries and classic Belgian dishes like mussels and Flemish stew too if you're in town!

Here's a brief rundown of sights, so I don't keep rambling on...

Town Hall in the Grand Place

Church of Our Lady of Victories at the Sablon

Law Court of Brussels ft a Ferris Wheel

EU Parliament

Parc du Cinquantenaire with a fake Brandenburg Gate

+ more churches and parks (I make too many lists so if you really want the full rundown feel free to contact me)

PS: if you ever go, don't be surprised at all the motifs to the Manneken Pis. I have absolutely zero clue as to what it means, but all the souvenir shops were hyper focused on this pissing statue 😂 (they even had a female version and a dog one too)

Our program is planning a trip into the countryside next week to do a digital detox which I think will be a great break especially after my 2 exams...

Until next time,

Catherine Jiang Computer Science Tech Career Accelerator in Prague

Czech Words

Dobrý den - hello (formal, greeting used most of the time when entering shops/restaurants)

Tančící dům - Dancing house (dům means house)

[myragewillend]

I've been giving IMF a try for a month now, and I feel unsure whether I will seriously continue with it. It is quite doable, it was easier to get into than I imagined it would be, but it's so strict that it's starting to make me unhappy. It's not actually the fasting that I find the problem; though it isn't fun some mornings, and sometimes affects my concentration, but overall I can manage. It's more that the window in which you are allowed to eat is so small, that you really have to eat by a schedule (if you also want sufficient time in between meals to give your body the time to digest it) or you won't meet your calorie need. And because I work out a lot, that also means working out at a precise hour every day, so I can still have a post-workout snack. Just half an hour late means pushing everything back and fasting for longer the next day. It also leaves no time for snacking or enjoying a drink in the evenings, because by then the fasting has begun. No spontaneous enjoyment of a piece of chocolate or glass of whiskey to end the day.

I keep struggling to fit everything into that 8-hour window, and it's just too frustrating for me to keep up with. I don't want to feel like simply eating every day should be this much of a hassle. Every meal starts to feel like a fucking math problem, I constantly feel "late" or anxious about being "on time" and it's just not fun anymore. I hate to feel so restricted and unfree. I suppose it'd be different if someone else did the cooking and you just have to eat by their schedule, and you generally have a very consistent daily routine, but my current schedule is too inconsistent to fit into such a rigid structure.

The alternative IMF option would be fasting a full 24 hours once a week, while eating normally the rest of the week. I'll see about giving that a try in the weekend – I'm actually pretty good at completely forgetting to eat lmao, so who knows, it might turn out to be pretty doable. But I don't have high hopes for it, since that's so extreme. It would mean having one day of basically zero energy and a shit mood every single week, if I could make it at all. Maybe it just isn't for me.

Getting interested in adapting intermittent fasting into my routine. Will be tough, since I'm also starting another bulking phase, and within the typical 16/8 routine it would only give me 8 hours to eat 2500+ calories (and then 16 hours of fasting, night included). But more reading on it and the list of benefits from studies has finally convinced me of its benefits. Particularly, I want to at least start bringing back the hour at which I eat my last meal for the day, which is currently fucking whenever, including right before I go to bed; I also have a tendency to work out too late in the evening, then follow that up with a meal. Bringing that back to 20:00 at the latest will hopefully improve my sleep schedule. IMF also seems to (potentially) improve bowel issues, lower risk of diseases, improve brain functioning, and other things that benefit your health, and for body builders it helps with remaining lean even while bulking, hopefully decreasing the amount of unnecessary fat I'd store.

But some days I do physical work in the mornings, and I'm not sure if I could do that on an empty stomach. It'd also compress the amount of time you have not only to eat, but to cook, as I'd have to have finished cooking and start eating by 18:00 if I'm going to work out at 19:00 and have a final meal at 20:00. That's pretty fucking strict – I'm disciplined but life doesn't work out that precisely – and I have no idea how I'd combine that with a full-time job, unless I cook my meals for the next few days in the evening. Or cook on resting days. Or not do IMF every day and cook on off-days. Idk. I'll try easing into it and see how it goes.

(It was this video on slowing the aging process by Veritasium if anyone's interested)