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chrizbang · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Lee Felix x female reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: mature content, lowkey slow burn, breeding kink, soft!dom Felix, creampie.

Word count: 2.975

You and Ashley have been friends for four years now. You went through a lot of hardships together, especially when Ashley had an unplanned pregnancy in the last year of college. Luckily, Mason, now her husband, is an amazing person, and even though it was hard, she was able to graduate. You loved her baby, Arthur, so much, like it was your little brother. You knew that their anniversary was getting closer and you wanted to surprise her.

"No way, I cannot ask you for something like that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Besides, you know I love spending time with Arthur," you said, holding your phone with one hand while you tried to wash the dishes you used to eat dinner with the other.

"I don't know Y/N..."

"Girl, just stop. I'm not taking a no for an answer. Spending quality time with your husband is important and I know that you have been not getting laid lately."

"You have no idea how hard it is to have sex with a one-year-old making a mess everywhere." You both laughed.

"I'll go to your house tomorrow at 7 pm. Get a reservation at a nice restaurant, get shaved and, wear your best dress. I want you and Mason to have a good time together."

"Okay, but only because it is our anniversary. I'm gonna take this as a present." Ashley sighed, knowing that she had to say yes anyway.

"Because it is, Ashley. I'll see you tomorrow, bye."

"Bye, honey."

You finished your shores and were planning on watching some videos on youtube when you heard your phone buzzing. You picked it up and saw that you had a message.

Felix, 8:45 pm: Hey

Felix, 8:45 pm: Sorry for messaging late but, are you free tomorrow?

You chuckled. Almost 9 pm wasn't late.

Y/N, 8:46 pm: Sorry, I'm going to my friend's house after work.

Y/N, 8:47 pm: I'm going to babysit her baby so she can go have dinner with her husband.

You met Felix at work, during lunch. He was new there and you have seen him sometimes walking around the place, but you never talked to him. Until one day when he dropped his coffee on you. You remembered how embarrassed he was, his cheeks were red and he profusely apologized. Ever since, you had some small talk with him here and there until one day you gave him his number, saying that he could message you if he needed help with something from work. You know it was bullshit since he was from a different department, but still, you needed an excuse to talk to him. He messaged you a few times but eventually, you thought it was a lost cause.

Y/N, 8:57 pm: Why do you ask?

Felix, 9:00 pm: Nothing.

Felix, 9:01 pm: It's silly.

Y/N, 9:03 pm: If it was that silly, you wouldn't have messaged me.

Y/N, 9:03 pm: Spit it out.

Felix, 9:12 pm: There's a convention for Star Wars fans tomorrow. You said that you loved the movies one time so I bought tickets for you.

Y/N, 9:14 pm: Why didn't you tell me before?

Felix, 9:15 pm: I didn't know if you would want to go. But it's okay, don't worry about it.

You thought for a moment. You really wanted to spend time with him. Felix was so sweet, respectful and kind. He was also very, very handsome.

Y/N, 9:30 pm: Do you wanna come to my friend's house tomorrow with me?

You looked at your phone five minutes later and saw that Felix visualized the message but didn't answer. "Congratulations, you fucked it up, Y/N," you said.

You sat on your couch and turned the tv on, planning on finally watching your favorite youtube videos, when you heard your phone buzzing again.

Felix, 9:50 pm: Sure, why not? Is it okay with your friend? She doesn't know me.

You sighed, happy that he answered.

Y/N, 9:51 pm: I'm gonna tell her but I'm pretty sure she'll be fine.

"Is he cute?" Ashley asked, putting on her earring. She looked gorgeous with a tight red dress that accentuated her curves and contrasted with her dark skin. Her curly hair was in a bun, leaving her neck and shoulders exposed. You knew Mason would love it.

"He is very cute. And he's so nice too. I only invited him over because he seems really sweet."

You went to Ashley's house one hour before she would leave for dinner so you could help her get ready, and by help, you meant to force her to wear something that wasn't a t-shirt and jeans.

"How do I look?" she turned around, facing you.

"Gorgeous as always."

Ashley hugged you tight. "Thank you so much, Y/N. You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"But I want to."

The bell rang.

"That's probably Felix," you said.

"Let's go downstairs, I wanna meet this boy."

When you went to the living room you saw Felix talking to Mason.

"Hello, I'm Ashley, nice to meet you."

"I'm Felix, nice to meet you too," Felix raised his hand so he could shake Ashley's hand but she gave him a light hug. You smiled, finding really cute how awkward he was.

"Arthur is sleeping now, he already ate, but if he wakes up, there's milk on the fridge. He usually sleeps all night so you don't have much to worry about."

"Okay, you guys have to go before you're late for dinner," you said, pulling Mason and Ashley towards the door.

"Call me if you need anything. We'll be back tomorrow morning so you'll don't have much trouble with him."

"Don't worry about it. You can take your time."

"Also, don't forg-"

"Baby, we have to go," Mason insisted, holding her hand and trying to get her inside of the car.

"Fine. Bye everyone, see you tomorrow."

You waved at them before going inside and closing the door.

"I'm gonna check on Arthur for a second, you can wait here, okay?" You told Felix.

"Sure."

You went upstairs and checked on Arthur's room. He was sleeping soundly. You felt the urge to lightly pinch his chubby little cute cheeks but you decided not to bother him. You went to the living room again and Felix was sitting on the couch.

"Are you hungry? We bought pizza."

"Uhm, not really."

"Are you sure?" you insisted.

"Okay, one slice would be good."

Felix got up and followed you to the kitchen.

"Your friend has a beautiful house," he said, admiring the place.

"She does. I mean, she's an architect and Mason is an engineer, so they were able to buy a nice place," you cut a piece and handed it to him.

"You said that you studied together."

"We went to the same college, but I graduated in graphic design. For obvious reasons, I don't make as much money as them," you laughed. "Did you always wanted to work in a publishing company?" Felix sat on the balcony standing in the middle of the kitchen. "Honestly, I just wanted to work with what I love. Graphic design is not something that people value but it is what makes me happy." You looked at him and Felix smiled at you, his dimple prominent on his face. He was so cute. "What about you?" "Oh, marketing is definitely not something I dreamed of working with. My family has a long line of people that have been working with it, so I barely had a choice,” Felix confessed. "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." He looked thoughtful like his mind was somewhere else. "I actually wanted to work with art. I love painting." "Really? That's so cool. Do you have a picture of a painting to show me? I would love to see it." Felix hesitated for a while before he grabbed his phone and scrolled through his gallery. "Please don't think I'm weird," he said before showing you the picture. You raised your eyebrows when you saw what was on the screen of his phone. A beautiful painting of you. You realized that he used your profile picture on Facebook as a reference. "Felix, this is amazing." "It took me a week to finish it," he said, holding his hands behind his back, clearly feeling shy. "I love it, really." You and Felix finished eating. You talked more about your plans for the future, the things you wanted to do with your life, your dreams. You were sitting on the couch watching tv when you heard Arthur crying upstairs. "Ops, somebody woke up." You got up to go to his room and you noticed that Felix was following you. "You don't have to go if you don't want to." "It's fine, I wanna help you." When you entered the room, Arthur was up in his crib, deeply crying. "It's okay," you said in a soft tone, picking him up. "I think somebody needs to change its diaper," Felix said. "You are right," you laughed. "Let's change this little boy." You put Arthur on the changing mat and started to change him, but to be honest, you had no idea what you were doing. Felix laughed. "Let me help you." Felix quickly changed his diaper, he clearly knew what he was doing. "Woah, how do you know that?" you asked, looking at him dumbfounded. He laughed again, amused by your reaction. "I have a small brother so I have changed his diaper plenty of times." "Aaah, that explains a lot."

"Let's see if he wants to eat," Felix said, holding Arthur in his arms. You went to the kitchen and looked for the milk. After pouring it into a pan, you heated it up. "We need to make sure we don't overheat it so it won't burn the baby," Felix said while he tested the milk's temperature. You put it into a baby bottle and gave it to Arthur who promptly drank it. "I guess he was hungry," Felix chuckled. "Do you plan on having kids, Felix?" you looked at him, completely mesmerized by how good he was with kids. "Yes, I love kids. I plan on having two kids one day." "That's so cute, I'm sure you'll be an amazing dad." Felix smiled, making your heart skip a beat. "Do you want to have kids, Y/N?" he looked apprehensive. "Yeah, one day. I still need to find the right person." "Of course." Arthur went back to sleep again when he was done eating. "Not gonna lie, taking care of a baby can be tiring," claimed said, sitting on the couch. Felix sat next to you, his knee touching your leg. "Do you want to watch a movie?" you asked. "Sure!" Twenty minutes later, you started to sleep. Your head felt heavy until it fell on Felix's shoulder. He simply smiled, enjoying the feeling of you so close to him.

The sound of the bell ringing woke you up. You were laying on the couch, a blanket over your body. You looked around and Felix was sleeping on the smaller couch next to yours, with just a pillow under his head. You got up and answered the door. "Hey!" Ashley said, hugging you. "Hi. How was your night?" "It was amazing. Thank you so much, Y/N." Ashley went to the middle of the living room to drop her bag on the couch, Mason following behind. "How's Arthur? Did he behaved?" Mason asked. "Yeah, he slept almost all of the time." You rubbed your eyes, still feeling sleepy. Ashley turned around, seeing Felix sleeping on the couch. "You guys could have slept in the guest room," she laughed. "I'm gonna check on Arthur. What about some breakfast later?" Mason suggested. "That sounds great, but I think we should go home. Besides, you guys need to spend some family time with your baby." You woke Felix up, and while he was trying to get conscious, you chatted with Ashley about dinner. Mason went downstairs with Arthur and you chatted a little more before leaving. "Do you want me to take you home?" Felix asked, leaving Ashley's house by your side. "No, it's okay, I'll get an Uber." "Aw, come on. I'm not gonna let you leave on an Uber so early in the morning." You looked at him, admiring the freckles on his skin. His pink lips looked soft and you had to fight the urge to kiss him. "You know what, okay. I'll go with you." The drive to your house was silent, the music playing on the radio helped you to distract the thoughts on your head. The night you spent with Felix was amazing, seeing him being so sweet like that only made you even more attracted to him. Felix stopped in front of your house. "Well, we are here." "Do you want to come in?" "Oh... uhm, sure, yes, that would be great." You smiled and left the car, running to open the door for him. "Please don't mind the mess," you said, taking some clothes that were on the couch. "Don't worry about it." "Do you want to eat something?" "I'm fine, I'm still full because of the pizza from yesterday." "Okay." There was an awkward silence for a while and you realized you didn't think this through. Invite him over and what? "You know what? There's something I want to eat," Felix said. "Oh, okay. What do you want? I have bread, cereal, we can make panca-" "You." "What?" you looked at him, your eyes wide. "I w-want to eat you." Felix stuttered, his face showing that he was feeling too shy to be saying the words that left his mouth. "Oh, I'm... I-" you didn't have the chance to finish, Felix approached you and kissed you. You were still processing what was happening so you didn't kiss him back yet. Felix noticed and stopped kissing you. "I-I'm so sorry, Y/N, I shoul-" "No! It's okay. I just wasn't expecting." You kissed him, holding his face and tasting his lips. His left hand held the back of your head while the other held your waist. He bit your lower lip, his tongue entering your mouth and playing with yours. He pressed his body against yours and you felt his semi-hard dick. You whined, trying to control your breath. "Do you want to keep going?" Felix asked, his forehead resting against yours. You simply nodded. "Where's your room?" You grabbed his hand, guiding him to your room. Once you were inside, Felix slammed you against the door, pressing his body into yours. He started to grind his clothed cock on your heat and, this time, you couldn't hold your moans anymore. "Felix," was all you managed to say before he kissed you again. A messy kiss that screamed how much he was longing for you, how much he desired you. His hand grabbed your ass, pulling you closer as if it was even possible. "I wanna taste you," he said, taking you to the bed. You laid down and he wasted no time to take off your pants, pulling your panties with them in a swift movement. Soon enough, his tongue was exploring your wet lips, savoring the taste of your arousal. Felix played with your clit, his tongue sliding against the sensitive skin. You hoped that your neighbors had already left for work, otherwise you would end up waking them up because of your moans. Felix stopped eating you out to unbutton his shirt. "You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck you," he said, his voice deep, making you raise your hips, craving to be filled up. "Felix, please," you moaned. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" "Yes, please." It was embarrassing, you weren't used to begging. Most of the time that you had sex, you were always the one in control. But not with Felix. "Are you on the pill?" Felix asked, taking the rest of his clothes off and pumping his rock-hard cock. "Yeah, please fuck me." "Anything for you," he growled, sliding his dick into your dripping pussy. Felix already started an incessant pounding into you, stealing moans from your throat. "You are so fucking beautiful." You closed your eyes, feeling the burning on your stomach getting stronger. "Fuck, so fucking good, Y/N. You are taking me so well." "Please, don't s-stop." "Turn around, I wanna fuck you from behind." You didn't have much strength left, but Felix helped you out. He was inside of you again, hitting the right spots in this position. Felix felt your pussy tightening against his dick and he started to play with your clit. "Fuck, Felix, I'm gonna cum," you screamed, not being able to control yourself anymore. You came, a long moan leaving your mouth. "I'm gonna cum inside of your little pussy, I'm gonna fill you up so good." He didn't slow his pace, his hips hitting yours in a fast rhythm. "I'm gonna put a baby in your little cute belly, baby girl," he said, closing his eyes as his dick slid in and out of your pussy. "Fuck," you moaned. "You are gonna look so good, all swollen, f-fuck." A few lazy thrusts and Felix came inside of you. He kept thrusting on you for a while until you milked him out. He laid by your side, trying to catch his breath. Felix put his arm on his face, hiding it. He looked completely flustered. "I'm sorry, Y/N. It was way too soon for me to let out this embarrassing kinky stuff." "Felix, shut up. It was fucking hot," you smiled, turning around to hug him and rest your head on his chest. He played with your hair, the warmth of his skin making you fall asleep. But sleeping wasn't on Felix's plans. "Ready for round two?"

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kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 4 years ago

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The Cafe Pt.I (Rewritten Barista)

As promised, I’m working through finishing my unfinished series - and that includes the Barista AU I had written long ago. I decided it was best to rewrite it considering the first part was originally published 200+ days ago. I’m aiming for 3 parts for this “one-shot AU” but we’ll see where it goes. Please be patient with me - my academic course load is extremely heavy and finding time to write is difficult but I will finish everything I said I would. I’m actually pretty proud of this but if it flops I never wrote it :)

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy)

Word Count: 4505 words I’m shocked (I usually get to about 1600-2000 words)

Taglist: I’m not tagging anyone until I know people want to be tagged for this because I’m nervous and I hate being annoying!!!! If you want to be tagged for a specific pairing please let me know - I’ll try to keep track and remember to actually tag because I’m a forgetful dumbass!

Amy groggily rolled over in her bed, the amount of sleep she was getting had become oddly suspicious because she would never be able to get up before 7 on her own. She rubbed her face gently, her sheets warm and smooth against her skin. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her eyes widening in shock as she read the time on the screen.

Monday March 30 5:40 am

“Fucking hell I thought I set an alarm!” Amy groaned as she threw the sheets to the side, huffing as she opened the clock app to see, she in fact, did not set an alarm. She sighed, shaking her head as she rushed to the bathroom.

“Damn it Amy...you need this job…”

She texted Zig, a mutual friend of Emily Day who introduced them their freshman year of college at Hartfeld before Amy had transferred to Belviore University in New York. Zig graduated and moved to New York and opened a small cafe, only a few years later.

Zig, I’m going to be late. I missed my alarm this morning. I swear I’ll stay for closing and I won’t be late tomorrow.

LMAO, Amy if you didn’t set an alarm just say that, I had a feeling this would happen so I told you we opened an hour before we actually do. We don’t open until 7 on Mondays, just Tuesdays-Fridays.

I am literally going to murder you 0_0. You should prepare to be launched into outer space for this crime.

Lol I look forward to it - see you at 7.

Amy turned on the shower, as she grabbed a towel and her shower products from the cabinet, placing them beside the shower door. She discarded her clothes, put her shower playlist on, hopped into the shower and felt a wave of relief that she didn’t blow her first day. After Amy had performed her world tour, she stepped out of the shower with a shiver, the cool air a contrast to her very hot skin. She wrapped herself in the fuzzy towel, briefly glancing at the time, 6:02. She walked out of the bathroom, dropping the towel onto the floor as she opened her closet while she scanned her options for a “casual” outfit that would suffice. She put on her favorite bra and underwear, something about the red lingerie made her feel confident, before she slipped into a pair of dark blue denim skinny jeans. She paired the pants with a black t-shirt as she smiled at herself in the mirror.

“Not bad Amy, not bad at all.”

She walked over to her small vanity, one she had built with her father as a teenager over the summer before she left for college. It was one of her most prized possessions, one of the only things she had to remind her of him before he disappeared without a trace. She closed her eyes, recalling the memory fondly before she began to apply a small amount of makeup, just enough to hide her tiredness from the public. She stood from the desk, pleased with her appearance as she made her way to the small apartment kitchen. The empty beer bottles and ps4 controllers cluttered the kitchen as Amy smiled, having remembered celebrating the job with her suitemate Lily. She threw the bottles away and plugged the remotes in for a charge, Lily would thank her for that later. She opened the freezer, making herself two premade waffles as she checked her social media. It might have partially been the exhaustion but those waffles were the best Amy ever had, she wiped her mouth clean and grabbed her bag from the nearby chair. She shot a brief text to Lily, to let her know she hadn’t been kidnapped.

Morning Lily! I went to the cafe for work, just so you don’t end up thinking I got myself kidnapped. Love you, see you tonight! Try not to drink all of the alcohol.

Amy followed Zig’s text directions through the streets of the city, the bustle of traffic, the mass of pedestrians and the loud construction noises distracting Amy from her path. Amy had never really been in New York’s financial district before, the other civilians' appearances shifting from “Naked Cowboy of Times Square” to “Businessman” only a few streets apart. She glanced at her phone as it instructed her to take a right.

“Oof-”

Amy jolted at the scalding hot coffee that was hot on her skin, her head turning to meet a woman’s irritated gaze, taking note of the coffee cup that was in her hands. She was dressed like all the other businessmen and women who passed by - her maroon suit now covered in coffee as she huffed in annoyance. Amy met her deep brown eyes that burned right through her, her whole body freezing up as she watched the woman’s lips move. Amy stood in a daze, only coming back to herself when the woman waved her hand in front of her, her face filled with exasperation.

“I’m so sorry. It’s my first day and I’m kind of lost-”

“Watch where you’re going, this suit is probably worth more than you.” Her voice was silky and satisfying, and oddly soothing given the fact she had probably just stained a $2,000 suit. Amy rushed to open her wallet, holding out a wet 50$ to the woman. The business woman scoffed as she walked away, leaving Amy in a confused state outside of the cafe.

“Fuck.” Amy sighed, moving to collect her bag as she walked through the cafe door, Zig raised his eyebrows at her as she made her way behind the counter.

“Well that’s a look.” He jested, Amy turning her head and giving him a death glare as he tossed an apron to her. “Nobody will notice, you can cover it with this. There’s paper towels in the back.” Amy dropped her bag in the break room, gently wiping the coffee away and putting the surprisingly fashionable apron on. When she walked out from the back her jaw dropped as she spotted the woman from earlier standing on the other side of the counter. Their eyes met and the woman’s gaze quickly changed from annoyed to very annoyed at the sight of Amy.

“Kamilah, you’re back. Wanted to pick up some date-nut pinwheels?”

“No, I need another black coffee.” She turned back to Zig with a smile, he gave a small nod as Amy began to brew the coffee for her. She placed the lid carefully onto the fresh cup and handed it out to the woman, their fingers brushing for a moment, a blush creeping onto Amy’s cheeks.

“Thank you.” Her tone was less aggressive than it had been in their first encounter, Amy finally calm enough to take note of the woman’s features. Her brown silky hair that looked like it belonged in a conditioner commercial, her defined jawline and subtle eyeshadow that accentuated her eyes. She watched the way her lips moved as she talked to Zig, Amy feeling her heart jump at the sound of her laugh - light and golden. Amy watched her leave, every step she took she took with such confidence that Amy found herself wanting to follow her out the door.

“You could be less obvious, you know?” Zig playfully nudged Amy, nearly knocking her over as she shook her head in denial.

“No! I wasn’t!” Amy sighed as she rubbed her temples, Zig’s infectious laugh filling the empty cafe. Amy playfully punched his shoulder as a group of well dressed men stepped through the threshold, Amy moving behind the register to take their orders. The day passed, Amy learning how oddly specific some people like their coffee, and learning all of Zig’s secrets to the perfect iced coffee. Amy looked at the clock as Zig walked to lock the front door - finally closing time.

“Some of these orders...like ‘I’ll have the grande iced mocha no foam soy hexagon vortex hypotenuse’” Amy waved her hands around as Zig tried to contain a laugh, wiping down the counter as Amy hung her apron up.

“Amy you’re horrible.” Zig made a good attempt at seriousness, their eyes meeting before they continued to laugh which made closing pass by much faster. Zig grabbed the mass of leftover desserts from their respective containers, hovering them over the garbage before Amy stopped him.

“Oh, did you want these?”

“No, but I can find a better place for them than the trash.”

“Where? Your stomach?”

“No, the food bank is on the route back to my apartment. We shouldn’t be wasteful, and besides - who wouldn’t love a raspberry crown?”

“You’ve got a point. I’ll bag these for you then, if you could sweep the floor and put the chairs on the tables that’d be great.”

When all the cleaning and closing procedures were done Amy headed for the door with her bag in hand, Zig gently tapping her shoulder and holding out an envelope, a key to the cafe and the bag of desserts.

“Okay so I know what’s in here but what is this? A resignation letter?” Amy pouted her bottom lip as Zig rolled his eyes so far back Amy wasn’t sure if they’d come back.

“It’s your share of the tips from today, and the wrapped pastries. Thanks for that suggestion by the way, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.” Zig rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around the pristine cafe, the windows reflecting the moonlight and the tile shimmering as if it were just installed. “Bloody hell, the place looks good...no great. Thank you Amy. Come on let's get outta here, go home - I’ll see you tomorrow at 6. Actually, let me make sure you set 3 different alarms, give me your phone.” Zig held out his hand after he locked the front door, Amy reluctantly handing her iphone over as he set 3 different alarms, all 5 minutes apart. He looked up at her for a moment, smirking before handing her phone back to her and walking off into the city. Amy rolled her eyes, he probably took a selfie on her camera but when she went to check, there was nothing but memes and occasional group photos -what did Zig smirk at then? Amy was too tired to think of it, she made a swift beeline to the food bank, opening the doors and dropping the brown bag of desserts off before making her trip back to the apartment.

The door opened with a creak, all of the lights turned off as Amy carefully navigated to her room. She switched her lamp on, letting it provide a dim light that didn’t blind Amy because of its intensity. She tossed her bag onto the bed, as she pulled her shirt over her head in one rapid motion. She desperately stripped, throwing her dirty clothes into the laundry basket as she changed into clean lingerie. She slipped into her favorite pair of pajama shorts and pulling her favorite hoodie over her bra - shirts were overrated anyways. Amy crawled onto her bed, crossing her legs while she put her headphones on, pulling up her favorite late-night playlist and letting the slowed music soothe her. She caught a glance at the envelope Zig had given her, she reached over for it and opened it carefully - baffled at the amount of cash laying inside. She slowly laid each bill out, counting the total twice to make sure she hadn’t miscalculated. Working at a cafe in New York’s financial district was definitely going to help her and Lily catch up on their rent and not get evicted. She smiled, tucking away 25% for herself, taking enough for her share of the rent and putting the rest into her locked safe - she’d been saving for a trip to Hawaii since she graduated. She stifled a yawn, closing the safe and tucking herself back into her warm sheets, taking her headphones off and closing her eyes for the night.

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The alarm woke Amy up with it’s loud and very obnoxious beeping, Amy wanting nothing more than to throw the phone into the thermosphere. She drowsily stood from her bed, gently tucking the sheets neatly back into place as she turned off the following alarms. She sighed, rubbing her head as she changed into a simple outfit and left out the door to the cafe.

Amy arrived at the cafe, unlocked the front door and turned the lights on, relocking the door behind her because she didn’t need anyone startling her. She moved behind the counter, dropping her bag in the lounge and putting an apron on. She checked the coffee filters, gave the blenders a good washing, set out creamer, sugar and other coffee essentials on the counter and filled supplies back up. Zig suddenly walked through the door, a smile on his face as Amy finished supplying the countertop and putting the pastries out on display, letting Zig prepare himself for opening.

“You’re early. I’m shocked. College Amy is having a stroke right now.” Amy knocked him in the side, Zig falling back a few steps as he shook his head and put his hands in the air in surrender. “Alright alright no need for violence, come on, let’s open.” Zig turned the “open” sign on and only a minute later did Kamilah appear in the cafe, her suit perfectly fitted, her hair smoothly cascading around her head and down her shoulders and her face relaxed and composed.

“Good morning Kamilah, what can I get for you?” Zig gestured to the display of desserts and the variety of coffee combinations on the menu above their heads. Kamilah smiling as Zig waved his hands back and forth, Kamilah letting out a soft chuckle.

“Just a large black coffee and maybe a date-nut pinwheel.” Kamilah spoke to Zig in almost a tender way, as if they were siblings or long-term friends. Amy selected a pinwheel, gently placing it into a small bag and sliding it over the counter towards Kamilah as she began to brew the coffee.

“How’s Ahmanet Financial?” Zig leaned over the counter, his defined arms nearly breaking through the sleeves of his white shirt. Kamilah tucked the pinwheel bag into a hidden pocket on the inside of her blazer before she turned back to face Zig.

“It’s very successful, our stocks are soaring and we just secured a new business partner.” Kamilah looked proud and for good reason - Ahmanet financial was one of the most powerful corporations out there. Amy topped her coffee off with a lid and handed it to her, their eyes meeting for a moment before Amy turned away, feeling her cheeks turning hot. Kamilah checked her watch, a movado 47 rose gold watch that cost way more than anything Amy had ever come close to owning. “Zig I’d love to chat some other day but I’m afraid I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”

She quickly made her way out the door, the bell ringing softly as Kamilah strided away. Amy leaned over the counter with a sigh, Zig nudging her softly.

“You could be less obvious Amy,” his annoying face smirking at Amy as she rolled her eyes, “you used to be so slick back in college.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Amy threw an empty coffee cup at him as a blonde girl walked into the cafe, her eyes glued to her phone as she recited her order at a rate that nobody could understand. Amy sighed, Zig giving her a pained glance as she went to mix the complicated coffee order. Amy fought back a laugh as Zig found a way to run away to the back when the girl asked for his phone number. Once Amy finished mixing her coffee and sent her out the cafe doors Zig poked his head out of the lounge - his eyes scanning for her.

“Is she gone?” Amy snorted as Zig stepped out from the doorway, his hands running through his hair as he let his shoulders relax. “My god I hate teenagers - they turn eighteen and all of a sudden think they can fuck anyone. I’m like 5 years older than her at least!”

“Relax buddy, let’s just get through the rest of the day. I’ll handle all the teenage brats and you can handle all the nasty men.” Amy gave him a cheeky grin as they teamwork-ed their way through the rest of the day.

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“Finally.” Amy rested the broom on the wall, taking in the pristine cafe as Zig finished wiping down the counters. “What a day.”

“Thank god it’s over.”

“Zig?”

“Yeah?”

“Does Kamilah always come by the cafe right when we open?”

Zig perked his head up, his brows raised to the top of his head as Amy felt a blush creep up her cheeks, her hands growing sweaty as Zig remained silent.

“She always comes as soon as we open, she has to be at work early since she is the CEO. Although she never rests, despite everything I’ve told her.” Zig’s head shot to his phone as it buzzed, a text from Emily appearing on the screen and Zig hastily typed away.

“Everything okay Zig?” Amy had a worried expression on her face as Zig let out a long sigh.

“There’s a road trip for Kaitlyn’s band that leaves in two days that lasts for a week that our group is going on and I can’t go because I need to run the cafe-”

“I can handle it for a week.” Amy spoke firmly, Zig’s eyes widening before he let out a chuckle.

“What if you burn it down?”

“I won’t but then I guess you just have to trust me. Come on Zig - you need a break and you damn well know it. Get out of here for a week.”

“I hate that you’re right. Fine, but if the cafe isn’t standing when I get back, you’re toast.” They both laughed and finished up closing.

Amy walked towards the food bank, a brisk breeze prompting her to make it one speedy trip so she could bask in her heated apartment. A shriek came from the alley as Amy turned her gaze to see where the yell had come from, a red pair of eyes looking right at her in the darkness. She felt her heart beating out of her chest as she forced her feet to a run, her heart pounding like a drum and ringing in her ears as she huffed through the front doors of the bank - placing the bag on the counter and racing back to her apartment without turning back.

“Hey girl how was-” Lily sat on the couch with a coke in her hand and the television remote in the other, her smile fading as she met Amy’s eyes. “Amy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost…”

“I think I’m just hallucinating from exhaustion,” Amy dropped her bag on the floor and took a seat on the couch beside Lily, “anyways tell me about you. We haven’t really had time since we both started working more.”

“Well you should sleep soon but I think we’ll be able to hold the rent for the next few months - with all the money you’re bringing in now in addition to the money my app has started to bring in - I think we’ll be more than fine.” Lily nudged her shoulder, offering Amy a can of coke with a smile as The Vampire Diaries played on the TV.

“Vampires are so overrated.” Amy groaned as she watched Lily’s eyes become glued to the screen.

“Some of us have taste you know.”

“No, it’s because they’re not real Lily, and the fact that no vampire would ever be attracted to me.”

Lily rolled her eyes as Amy sipped on her coke, both of them laughing late into the night and being good friends in what had felt like a long time.

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Amy unlocked the cafe doors and shuffled inside, locking the door behind her and leaving her bag on the counter. She hit the light switch as the lights slowly came flickering on as she tied the apron around the back of her neck. She quickly started and finished the morning set-up, the routine becoming second nature since Amy had always been a fast learner. She checked her phone, 6:49 am April 1, 2020.

“April fools day.” Amy smiled as she contemplated setting up a whipped cream prank on Zig, but decided not to against her deepest desire to see his shocked face. While thinking of ways to mess with Zig through the day, her mind came to test a theory - she began preparing two black coffees - before adding her own twists to one of them. Amy finished and admired her handiwork - the cups looked identical and Kamilah wouldn’t notice until she tasted it.

Kamilah walked in, her eyes scanning the cafe for Zig as she took a cautious step towards Amy who had a cute little grin on her face.

“Good morning Kamilah, here’s your coffee.” Amy handed her a black coffee, the one she had adjusted ever so slightly. She watched as Kamilah brought the cup to her lips, almost taking a sip, before she lowered the cup and leaned her face closer to Amy.

“What did you do to it? It smells different, and where’s Zig?” Kamilah arched a brow as Amy silently wondered how Kamilah could smell the difference.

“I took a twist with it, I made you your regular too in case you hate it...I just thought you should broaden your horizons…and Zig is coming. He just needs to pack, he’ll be gone after today for a week and I’ll be running the cafe.” Amy smiled softly at the woman who was now leaning dangerously close.

“I see. And if I hate it?”

“Then I’ll pay for both and I’ll never try to broaden your horizons again…” Amy frowned slightly as Kamilah finally sipped on the drink - her brown eyes widening as she took another, and another.

“It’s...actually pretty good...what did you do to it?” Kamilah took another sip as Amy bounced on her heels, a wide childish grin written across her face.

“I added a bit of cream and sugar and a bit of caramel! It’s how I like mine!” Amy took her hands behind her back and fiddled with them nervously as Kamilah smiled. Zig walked in just as the clock read 8:05 am and Kamilah left, turning at the door to smile at Amy one last time, lifting the cup up with a smile before entering her car.

“What’s that smile about Amy?” Zig wagged his fingers at Amy with a classic smirk as he prepared for the shift, Amy resting her head on both of her hands while she leaned over the counter - her legs kicking out behind her.

“Nothing.” Amy sighed and went back to brewing coffee, her hands aimlessly performing while her mind sat on nothing but the thought of Kamilah - and her damned perfect smile.

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Amy tossed her shoes off as she made her way through the apartment door, one shoe nearly knocking Lily’s head off as she pulled freshly fried chicken from the air fryer.

“Lily that smells AMAZING!” Amy squealed and made her way over to her, Lily slapping her hand away as she finished the two plates of waffles off with a chicken breast and syrup. “I swear I’ve got the best best friend…” Lily smiled as they both dug into the food, chatting away about their day until Amy let it slip out.

“And there’s this really hot customer-”

“Oh! Spill!” Lily wiggled in her seat like a child, eagerly waiting for Amy to elaborate as Amy stuffed her face with the rest of her waffles. “I’ll wait for you to finish.” Lily smirked and held Amy in an uncomfortable eye contact until Amy finally caved in.

“She comes in at opening time every single day, and always orders a black coffee. Although I got her to try something new today which I’m really proud of.” The subtle smile that crept up Amy’s face gave it all away to Lily as she let her ramble on, whilst she gave Amy the smirk she hated. “I’m simping aren’t I?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simping. But you have a chance here because Zig won’t be there so you can actually like...take your shot without him ever having to know,” Lily winked and whispered, “and you could totally fuck her in the back-”

“NOPE!” Amy stood up frantically, Lily holding her sides for support and nearly falling out of her chair as Amy rushed to clear her plate. “I hate you! Ohmygoddddddd.” Amy groaned as Lily fell to the floor, her eyes wet with tears at Amy’s reaction more than anything else.

“I’m going to bed!!”

“Goodnight! Love you Ames!!!”

“Love you too….annoying ass!”

Amy snorted as she changed into her sleepwear, her body becoming exhausted as she hit the mattress, falling asleep ridiculously fast.

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Kamilah came through the door, right on time as Amy had come to expect. Amy gazed up from her phone, those dark brown eyes looking right at her as she handed Kamilah her usual black coffee, Kamilah holding it closely before clearing her throat.

“Can I have the one from yesterday as well?” Amy smiled at her as she began to mix her favorite coffee - Kamilah leaning over the counter to observe.

“I didn’t think you’d want it again.” Amy said as she added creamer to the mix, the coffee turning golden as she mixed it.

“A woman can’t appreciate a little variety in her life?” Kamilah leaned against the counter, her hair smoothly gliding over her maroon blazer as she tossed it back - taking a sip from her cup.

“No I just-” Amy topped the cup off with a bit of caramel before enclosing it with the lid, her hands sweaty as she handed it to Kamilah.

“You just?”

“Thought you’d always like your coffee like your personality.”

“Whatever do you mean by that?”

The way Kamilah was looking at Amy, she knew she had to choose her next words carefully.

“Dark, intimidating, a bit bitter at first sip,” Amy hesitated as Kamilah raised a brow, “an...acquired taste.”

“You’re intimidated by me?”

“Just a little…”

“Hmm, I suppose your coffee is like you if you want to expand your little analogy.” Kamilah glanced at her watch, her expression shifting from playful to work-oriented. Amy felt her heart drop a little as she recomposed herself - back to her refined and disciplined self. Kamilah made her way to the door, the two cups of coffee in her hands as she paused, turning back and looking at Amy - something different about it.

“It’s...sweet and comforting,” her voice was soft as she spoke, Amy’s cheeks turning very red, “like you.”

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #mc x kamilah #kamilah the bloodqueen post #bloodbound #bloodbound AU #um so I have a love-hate relationship with this fic #but i am proud of it in it's ways #okay i've been deflecting i need to go do calculus homework and lecture videos

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storiesforallfandoms · 5 years ago

Text

awkward ~ harry styles

word count: 1911

request?: no

description: after taking a role in a movie that she regrets, she has an awkward encounter with the inspiration for the movie’s source material

pairing: harry styles x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

(fair warning, there’s some slight trash talking of after. i really don’t like that movie or the books so if you do...maybe skip this imagine)

“And here we have (Y/F/N), star of the new teen romance After!” the interviewer happily announced into the camera.

I tried not to visibly cringed as I waved at the cameraman.

When you’re an actress, there’s this unspoken rule that you shouldn’t regret the movie that will launch your career. And, in some aspects, I didn’t regret After. I made new friends thanks to filming that movie, and, even before the first trailer launched, I was becoming a household name.

However, there was some things I regretted about After...like the decision to star in it.

I took the role of Tessa before I even really knew what the movie was about. I decided to do some research by reading the books, only to become absolutely appalled by them. The relationship between Tessa and Hardin was absolutely toxic, and the books only plot was basically sex. The entire trilogy! It was like reading Fifty Shades of Grey for teenagers. At that point, however, it was too late. I was already signed on to do the movie and I couldn’t back out.

Now, I was locked into trying to talk good about the movie until it was announced that I had backed out for the upcoming two sequels, something that wouldn’t happen until months after the movie’s release I was sure.

I was on the red carpet for an award show and I had already given at least four interviews about the movie. I was starting to get tired of it. Was this how Robert Pattinson felt trying to promote Twilight? That poor man.

“Were you aware of the source material before you took the role?” the interviewer asked me.

I shook my head, giving her the response I had basically memorized at this point. “I wasn’t, actually. It wasn’t until I got the script and it said it was based off of a book by Anna Todd, and I knew I had to go read the books.

“What were your thoughts when you read the novels?”

I thought it was an awful relationships and sex for teens. "It was interesting. The first movie isn’t a super close adaptation to the first book, but I think fans of the original will still like it.”

“Were you aware it was a fanfiction before a book?”

I tried not to sign in annoyance at yet another familiar question. “I found out shortly after reading the books actually. That’s pretty fascinating!”

“I don’t know if you knew this, but Harry Styles is actually here tonight. Do you hope to meet him?”

I felt slight panic swell in me. I wanted to say absolutely not! I didn’t want to have to face Harry after what I had been a part of. He couldn’t have liked the fanfic, it was awful! He probably hated that this movie was being made, not that he could really do much about it considering Anna Todd changed all the names in the book so it could be published.

I tried not to let me panic show as I responded, “As a long time One Direction fan, I would love to meet him if given the chance.”

I managed to get away from the interviewer before she asked anymore questions. I felt like I had to be on high alert now. The last thing I wanted was to run into Harry, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t want to run into me, either. Unless he didn’t know I was here, in which case that would make running into him even more awkward.

I managed to bypass any last interviews and get into the venue. Among the crowded room of people, I searched to see the one familiar face I was looking for. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn’t see him and went on to mingle some of the other attendees.

We were only 30 minutes to show time when I heard the familiar deep voice that I had been dreading all night. “Hello.”

I turned away from the conversation I was having to see none other than Harry Styles stood behind me. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment and I just wanted to melt into the floor. Did he come looking for me? What was he going to say to me?

“H-Hi,” I stuttered, causing Harry to smile.

“You must be (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you,” he said, extending a hand to me.

I tried to remain cool as I shook his hand. “I am, yeah. It’s nice to meet you, too, I’m a big fan.”

“So I’ve heard. An interviewer out there told me that she had been talking to you just before she talked to me.”

I could only imagine what an interviewer had said to Harry. Some of the interviewers on red carpets were vultures, they just liked to stir up drama for the sake of clickbait.

“Is that...all she said?” I asked, afraid of what else might’ve been said to him.

Harry shrugged. “She just talked about the movie some. I avoided those questions.”

I couldn’t stop the groan that erupted from my throat at this sound. “I am so sorry, I hope you know how much I regret filming that movie.”

Harry tilted his head. “Why do you regret it? They’re already saying it’s going to be the next big teen romance phenomena.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard. Too bad I won’t see it grow after the first movie.” I mentally scolded myself for spilling the beans already as Harry gave me a confused look. “I didn’t sign on for the second movie, or the third or however many they’re gonna make in the future. The first After is the end for me, that’s it.”

“Why would you do that? This is an easy three movie deal, wouldn’t most people kill for that?”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re so concerned over this. I thought you’d hate the whole franchise considering it’s based on a really shitty fanfiction about you.”

To this, Harry chuckled. “Well, I don’t exactly like the After franchise. I’m definitely not looking forward to more people becoming aware of it due to the movies, but I also know what it’s like to try and break into the fame scene. It’s hard, you should always grasp what you need to in order to get to where you wanna go, you know?”

I smiled at this. “I guess you have a point. I’m just glad you don’t absolutely hate me for starring in the movie.”

“How could I hate you? I haven’t even properly met you yet, and so far, you’re too nice to hate.”

I felt blush creeping up my neck at this. I looked away from him, but couldn’t contain the smile on my face.

Harry and I talked for another while until we were being ushered to our seats. I hated to have to break away from him, but I had a feeling I’d see him after the show again.

The award show felt like it dragged on forever. I wasn’t nominated for anything, After hadn’t even come out yet, and I wasn’t presenting anything. I was just there to give interviews on the red carpet and to be just another face in the crowd. The performances were good, and the host of the show was hilarious, but I couldn’t help but wish it would just end already.

When it finally came to an end, I found myself waiting outside the arena for my Uber ride home. I was watching in confusion as my driver went in the exact opposite direction. Weren’t they supposed to have the GPS on their phone working? Where the hell was he going?

A car pulled up in front of me and the passenger side window rolled down. Harry’s smiling face beamed at me from inside the car as he asked, “Need a lift?”

I looked down at my phone, seeing how far away my Uber was yet again, before cancelling it all together and climbing into the front seat.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I responded. “Uber sucks.”

“You didn’t get a ride to the show with anyone?”

I shook my head. “My manager sent for this fancy car to take me, so that I looked good in front of the cameras and such, but didn’t arrange a ride home for me.”

“That’s shitty.”

I shrugged. “That’s show biz, kid.”

Harry smiled and chuckled at this, and I felt a warm feeling in my stomach. Not a bad one, quite the opposite really.

The drive was silent for the most part, just some quiet music playing. I watched out the window as Harry drove, unsure of what to really say or do in this moment.

“You like the show?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

I shook my head. “Not at all. I thought it was quite boring since I had nothing to do besides talk up the movie I hate to the press.”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, that’s understandable. Award shows are more fun when you’re not just sitting in your chair for like two and a half hours watching other celebrities get awards for things.”

“You did good, though,” I told him. “Your performance was amazing, you had the whole audience on their feet.”

He tried to contain it, but I could see the proud smile on his face. “That’s what I try to do with my music - something you can dance to and feel something when you’re listening to.”

“You definitely do both.”

God, small talk is so awkward. Why can’t you come up with anything else to say?

“I’m not good at this,” I admitted.

Harry glanced over at me for a moment. “Not good at what?”

“Talking to famous people,” I responded. “Well, super famous people I guess. I chatted with some people tonight who were more on my level of fame, but you’re like...you have your own level. Doesn’t help that I had a crush on you during my One Direction days.”

Harry’s low chuckle confirmed that I had indeed said that last part out loud. I face palmed so hard, the sound of my hand hitting my skin was actually audible, which caused Harry to laugh more.

“I’m such a mess,” I groaned. “Just dump me on the side of the road, it’s my time to go.”

“If I did that, I wouldn’t get to see you again.”

I looked over at him. “You wanna see me again?”

“Only if you’d like to spend more time with me.”

My smile was so wide that my cheeks were actually hurting, but I could’ve cared less. He was actually asking me to hang out and spend time with him? Yes please!

“I’d like that a lot,” I told him.

I was slightly disappointed when we pulled into my driveway, but it wasn’t enough to rid myself of the excitement I was feeling. Harry and I exchanged numbers before I got out of the car and smiled at him one last time.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised. I was too shocked to say anything else, so I just nodded before making my way to the front door of my apartment.

When the door closed behind me, I exclaimed with excitement and jumped around like a child on Christmas morning. Who knew that the movie I so despised would bring me some good, and not just with my career?

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry potter imagine #harry styles x reader #imagine #one shot

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itgetsdarksometimes35 · 6 years ago

Text

The God and his Muse

Warnings: Non con, dub con, forced pregnancy, breeding kink, anal sex, spanking if you squint, innocent reader, 18+

Word Count: 3,707

Pairings: Dark!Thor X Innocent!Reader

Summary: Reader is an innocent little journalist that’s too sweet for this world. At least, that’s what Thor thinks.

Prompts: 2, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 17, 19, 21, 23

- indicates a POV change

~ indicates a time change

A/N: This is a very late entry to @searchforanotherway challenge. I am going to up load another challenge I’m late for tomorrow and another one that’s due on the 31st on Wednesday so I’m caught up. I hope you guys enjoy! :)

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Earth was different. The people, the food, the drinks. The way people thought, dressed, the history. It was all so strange. At least, that’s all Thor thought. This tiny little planet filled with things that mattered so little in the grand scheme of things. Yet that’s where he found himself. He fought battle after battle here, had friends here, yet he couldn’t understand the way people behaved. So where did he go to learn? The library. That’s where he came to find out that’s where people went to learn. He went to the library with the cafe inside, it smelled good and had his favorite Earth drinks. He checked out books and read them, sometimes learning other times becoming more confused.

One day while going in he saw her. Earth wasn’t filled with many people who managed to catch his eye, he always saw himself marrying an Asgardian warrior. That was more his style. But this girl, curled up on a lounge in the library reading a book, looked so peaceful made his heart stop. She was so beautiful. He had to know her, he had to be with her.

He looked to the book in her hands, he had read it. Lord of the Flies. It had disturbed him, but it helped him to understand the system that the people of Earth needed to keep from going barbaric. He supposed there was no God to just lock them in ice forever if someone were to misbehave.

“I love that book” Thor said walking up to the girl with his own book and vanilla latte coffee in his hand. The girl looked up at him and smiled brightly. So sweet.

“Yeah? I don’t know how I feel yet. It seems good, but I also don’t think there’s much to learn from it.”

“How so?”

“Well, the point seems to be that we need a hierarchy to keep balance, a set of laws that everyone must follow to keep away from chaos. I already knew that. I’d hope everyone does.”

“I think that book is more relevant now than ever. People seem to forget that laws are there for a reason. Crime is spiking, it’s not safe. Not that it ever was, but it certainly was never this bad. My grandpa spoke of a time that people could leave their doors unlocked and let their kids go out for hours without worrying. Now kids are at risk when they’re with their parents.”Thor thought about all the times Steve talked his ears off about his day, it seemed to be coming in handy for once.

The girl thought for a while, her nose scrunching a bit while she thought. Finally her smile returned and she looked to him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m Y/n”

“Thor.” He set his books down to shake the girl’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months went by and Y/n and Thor talked more and more. He was becoming obsessed with her presence and he sought it more and more. He wanted her to move in with him, wanted her to quit her job so that he could be around her more and she could bend to his schedule a lot easier. He sensed her discomfort and she became a bit standoffish. It hurt to think she wouldn’t love him anymore or that she wouldn’t want to be his wife one day. They weren’t even dating, but he knew she was the one. He started a plan that would ensure their future together, he needed to do what was best for them. What was best for her. After all, this world wasn’t safe.

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Your phone buzzed while you typed away at your computer. Just a few more edits and this week’s article would be ready to publish. You worked for a magazine and got the majority of your work done during the day at your office, but sometimes had to bring it home with you. It was a lot of work finding correct sources, arranging interviews, and typing it all out. You didn’t work for some website that was all about “how to get the perfect smokey eye,” you worked for a magazine that was borderline news. It got you into trouble sometimes, not everyone likes their dirt thrown out there for all to see, but you liked it. You didn’t tell petty stories, you told stories that got predators out of the schools they worked in, got politicians arrested for stealing money from the citizens. Things like that. Your phone buzzed again and you looked at the time. 10:42. You decided to call it a day and finish first thing tomorrow morning and turn it in to Jodi, your supervisor.

You unlocked your phone to see two missed calls from Thor. You rolled your eyes and set your phone down, heading into the bathroom to shower. It wasn’t that Thor wasn’t nice, it’s just he couldn’t take a hint. Your job asked for a lot of your attention right now, and he didn’t seem to get that. Even when you explained it. You weren’t even dating and you felt suffocated.

You turned the water on and let the steam fill the room while you hummed to yourself while you undressed and stepped into the shower. You let the heated water cascade down your body and ease the tight muscles. Your hands hurt from all the typing you did and your shoulders hurt from hunching over. You popped open the bottle of your honey body wash and put it on the fluffy luffa. Suds covered your body as you massaged the body wash onto your body.

You finished your shower and wrapped yourself in a fluffy white towel. You opened the bathroom door and the cool air wafted around you, causing chill bumps to rise on your skin. You stepped onto the cold wooden floor of your apartment and made your way to your room. As you took a night shirt and underwear out, you saw it was raining outside. No, raining wasn’t right. It was storming. That’s strange you thought while walking over to closing the window, it wasn’t raining 30 minutes ago. You dressed yourself and then climbed into the bed. Thunder flashed outside and you got up to close the curtains, thunderstorms always scared you. Right as you were turning away to get back to bed, thunder rang again and your window crashed open. You saw a white flash before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head pounded as you started to wake up. It was Saturday, you didn’t have to go into the office but you did have to finish your editing. That article is due tomorrow. You opened your eyes and immediately froze. This wasn’t your room. The night before floods back to you, but nothing is coming to mind. The thunderstorm, but then what? Didn’t you get back to bed? What the hell happened?

You looked around the room you were in. It was huge and the art looked like they were painted for kings. A white wardrobe with golden details graced a corner in the room and the doors in the room held the same decor. You looked at the bed you were now sitting up in and realized the bed matched the set. The marble floor held your reflection just like the mirror on the vanity near one of the doors, probably the bathroom, did. This room alone looked like it was ripped from a magazine about how the wealthy lived. You couldn’t afford it even in your wildest dreams.

You hear footsteps behind the door to your left before the golden handle jiggles. You prepare for the worst as the door is pushed open. In walks Thor with his blonde hair and gorgeous eyes. His outfit looks like a costume and in his hands he holds a hammer. He looks to you and he smiles.

“Good morning, dear. Sleep well?” Thor asks sweetly with his accent you’d never been able to place. He stalks in before shutting the door and crossing to the bed to sit down.

“Thor? Where am I?” Thor sets the hammer he held down on the floor before turning all the way to you, his hand moving up to set the hair out of your face. You cringe away at his acts of eerie calmness.

“Asgard. Your new home.”

You looked to him confused. “Asgard? Wh- that’s not a real place, where am I? This isn’t funny, please, Thor.” You start to freak out. Thor wasn’t making any sense. He kidnapped you and he brought you to wherever you were and he was in a Party City costume. He had lost his mind.

“It is. It’s my home realm, I guess you could call it. I’m the God of Thunder,” He lifted his hammer, “and future king. You shall be my queen, and a fine queen you’ll make.” He smiled to you again as you shook your head. Realm? God? You had to get out of here.

“Thor, I have to leave.”

“Leave? Honey what’s wrong? Don’t you like your new home?”

You were getting agitated, Thor wasn’t listening to you and he was acting insane. This wasn’t your home, he wasn’t a God or king, and you certainly wasn’t going to be his queen. Especially not of some mystical place, this wasn’t the time to be playing make believe.

You took a deep breath, if journalism taught you anything it was being freaking out in a moment it was all too dire to be calm in wasn’t going to help anyone. Especially not yourself. “Thor, I am begging you. Let me go, I’m not going to be your queen. Asgard isn’t real, what you’ve done is illegal. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone…” You calmly stated while slowly moving, if you acted fast you could make it to the door.

Thor’s smile faded. “You’re meant to be mine, y/n, whether you realize it or not. Back at the cafe, I knew you were the one who’d lead my people at my side.”

“No Thor, it wasn’t like that.”

“But I’ve seen the way you’ve smiled at me! You wanted me!”

You shook your head, it was an argument with a brick wall. You smiled at someone and was kind and now it’s just okay to kidnap you? Thor turned from you to look around the room. “I built this for you. For us. I was never one for decor but I called everyone I knew to help. The day I met you I knew you were the one, I just can’t believe you’re actually here. You can even help decorate if there’s something you don’t like.”

As Thor continues rambling you were slowly easing out of bed and toward the door. There had to be somebody else here, so even if you don’t make it far, let’s face it you probably wouldn’t with those powerful legs that supported Thor, at least you could scream for somebody to help you. Your hand had just touched the kbob when Thor turned and looked to you.

“Y/n, you better come back here on the count of three...two…” He was starting to rise but it was too late, you had thrown the door open and you were booking it down the long hallway. You had no idea where you were going but you were going. Still in just an over sized night shirt and panties the cool night breeze whipped at your legs as you flew by. The halls had tall windows where you could see outside. You must’ve been asleep for a long time because you definitely wasn’t in New York anymore. Your mind threatened to wander to you truly being in Asgard and Thor being truthful but you shook the thought out and pressed on.

You got to double doors and looked behind you to see Thor was coming from behind a corner, his face hard with anger. You quickly pulled the heavy doors open and squeezed out into the night. There was a long bridge in front of you and below that was water. You looked up and saw tall mountains and a sky that was breathtaking. Where were you? The doors behind you groaned as they were being pushed open further and you pressed on, running harder than before. Your efforts were fruitless as you were hit in the back and fell to the ground. You look back to see the hammer Thor carried magically levitating back to him.

You turned on your hands and knees, fear and shock painted your face, and made to get up again. Thor came up and grabbed you, hauling you over his shoulder.

“No! Help, somebody please!” You kicked and screamed, punching Thor’s back so you’d be released. “Thor stop, let me go!”

Thor spanked your ass causing you to whimper in protest. “Stop screaming, you dirty slut. You’re tricking no one with that act.” The word stung, you couldn’t lie. The man you had come to know was sweet. Overbearing, but sweet. Never would you guess he’d cause this to happen to you or ever call you such a vulgar name. The tears threatened to spill as Thor carried you into the tall castle and back to the room you’d awoken in.

Thor threw you onto the bed and spun to shut the door. He set his hammer down in front of it. “To keep you from escaping.” He started to grab at his clothing, pulling it off to reveal his muscles. Your eyes widened and you pressed yourself farther away from him. Thor smirked at your efforts. “Don’t worry, honey. I promise, after tonight, you’ll never escape again. I have rules that I expect you to follow, number one is no running. I will catch you and it just wastes both of our time” How he switched from sweet to agressive back to sweet had your head spinning. “Number two, don’t try to hurt me, I’m your lover and I’ll be treated as such. Number three, listen to me. I am your king and God, I know what’s best. And lastly, the given of course is that you will give me many heirs. Not too many rules, is there darling?” You shook your head. “Good. Just remember, I will hurt you if you don’t do what I say.” You were shaking. Heirs? Rules? What kind of fucked up nightmare realm had you just stepped into?

Thor continued to undress and soon he was in nothing more than his boxers. He palmed himself through the thin fabric while making his way to you. He reached for your shirt and tore it right down the middle, leaving you in your underwear. Your tits bounced from the force of the rip and Thor’s eyes flew to your chest. His tongue swept over his bottom lip as his eyes blew out in lust. Your eyes blurred with tears. “Thor no, don’t do this. I’m still…”

Thor’s eyes traveled to yours and he smiled. “I know you are. Don’t worry I’ll take care of you” He reached for panties and easily ripped them from you, exposing yourself to him. He groaned and you saw his member twitch in his confines. Thor reached down and started stroking himself again before pulling his underwear down and pulling you closer. You were shaking your head while tears flew wild. “Shhh, its okay. Just open your legs. I promise this won’t hurt.”

Thor set your legs on each of his hips and he lined himself at your untried center. He rubbed the head against your clit and it was then you realized how wet you were. “See? Already so good for me.” Thor’s praises struct your body in a way that you weren’t familiar with as he slowly inched in. Your body jerked in response to the slight burn and you hissed out in pain. “You’ll feel so good after this. Just let me…” Thor pushed deeper into you, coming to your fleshy barrier. He stopped for a moment before leaning over you, his lips hovering over yours whispering, “I love you so much.” Before crashing his lips to yours. Thor distracted you with his tongue while his hips thrust forward, causing you to cry into his mouth. He continued his assault on your mouth while his finger danced it’s way down your hot skin and to your tiny bud of nerves, rubbing it slightly. Your hips jerked up into his hand while you moaned out, separating your mouths so the sound echoed in the room. Your head hit the pillow while Thor continued hovering above you. “Yeah, feels good now doesn’t it? Wasn’t so bad, I told you I’d make you feel good.”

Thor continued fucking up into you while his finger worked harder and faster, chasing your release. Your head was floating on cloud nine, never had you been able to bring such pleasure to your life before. Your moans were mixing with his grunts as he got faster and faster. “I’m so close to coming. Oh I can’t wait to fill up your belly.” You squeezed around Thor’s thick cock as he thrusted a few more times before you crashed over the edge. Your eyes shut as you screamed out in ecstasy. Your back arched and your body shook, trying to recover.

Thor growled while hooking his hand under your shoulder, pumping himself deeper into you, trying to find his own euphoria. “Oh shit, I’m cumming baby, I’m summing.” Thor pushed in to his limit and stayed as you felt warm spurts fill your tummy. He moaned your name in your ear while his balls clenched and unclenched in his release. He stayed within you for a moment, enjoying your warmth and breathing into your neck. He wiggled his hips before pulling out and laying next to you, a smile playing at his lips.

“Our baby will be so beautiful. I hope it’s a girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nine months you had been living here in Asgard with Thor. A few days after your first night with him you two were wed in front of the entire kingdom. A few weeks later he announced a royal pregnancy. Your belly was growing and was ever prominent in the dresses Thor ordered you to wear. He had become very enraptured in your pregnancy, never giving you a night to rest when you started to show. He wanted others to see it too.

Today you were in trouble. Deep trouble. Thor invited his friends to come and meet you and have dinner; it would’ve been okay had he not failed to tell you of his little party. You hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and you were stressed due to the large group of people, so you lashed out at him in front of everyone when he asked you to dance with him, ignoring your constant complaints of you being tired and sore. You quickly apologized, but Thor was already angry. He went about the party normally and you were on edge for the rest of the night, what awaited you when the last guest left was something you worried about.

You tried to keep Valkyrie, the last guest, in the doors for as long a possible. Thor stepped in and ushered her to the door, saying how you both needed to rest.

“Oh yes, you two won’t be getting much of that once baby girl is born.” She said with a wink, stepping out of the door. Thor’s laugh boomed around the empty dinner hall while he said goodbye to his close friend. He shut the door with a loud thud before turning on you. You gulped as he made giant steps toward you.

“Bedroom. Now.”

You scrambled from your chair and took quick steps to the bedroom. Thor was hot on your heels as he shut you in, locking the door behind him. He inched closer to you like a fox does a lamb while you backed up.

“Now darling, you know the rules,” he tsked at you, this wasn’t the first time you’d broken the rules. It always ended with a sore bottom. “But it seems my normal punishment doesn’t work with you, so, how should I punish you this time?”

You were blabbering the word no as you tried to scoot away from Thor, but he easily caught your arms and bent you over your vanity, making sure not to harm your pregnant stomach. You continued to try to wiggle free but it wasn’t until he brought his thumb to your tight ring of muscles that you stopped all together. Your head shot up and you strained to look behind you, he had never done that before. Thor swiftly unfastened his pants and took his throbbing cock out, lining it at your sacred and untried hole. You squirmed more but knew it was hopeless. You would never win with him. Thor pressed himself to you and pushed in. The burn was far worse than anything you had ever felt and you cried out in pain. Your hips helplessly pressed to the vanity trying to free yourself from this pain, but Thor just pushed in more. He was hissing from the way you squeezed him.

“God, baby, you’re so tight for me. Always so good…”

Tears were sliding down your face as you sobbed into the cold marble of the vanity, praying he’d be done soon. Thor thrusted into you, stretching your asshole to fit his godly girth. He pumped himself a few times before cumming in your ass. He pulled out of you, grabbing you before you can slide to the ground. He picked you up and laid on the bed, your backside aching from the abuse.

Thor pulled you to him while caressing your hair and back. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. Sleep, you need the energy.” He pulled you closer to him. “Any day now, and our child will finally be born. I can’t wait for us to finally be a family. You’ll be such a wonderful mother.” You continue to silently sob and Thor’s breath started to even out in slumber. The world is an unsafe place, and you were learning from it first hand.

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@jtargaryen18

#aw!dark!ficchallenge #dub con #non con #dark!thor #dark!thorodinson #dark!thor x reader #dark!thorodinson x reader #dark!thor x innocent!reader #dark!thorodinson x innocent!reader #dark!marvel #dark!mcu

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toxoiddiamond · 4 years ago

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T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Rafael Caleb Isserlis Nicknames: His family all call him Ray, but most people just call him Rafael. Age: 30 Birthday: June 6th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Sunnyvale, California Current Location: Barcelona, Spain Speaks: English, Spanish, some Castilian, a bit of Hebrew but not much. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He graduated from UC Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts degree. His original focus was Computer Software Engineering, but he switched his focus to Drawing and Painting in his sophomore year. Occupation: Bouncer at a strip club, and he has been working on a comic book with a friend (Rafael is working on the art, and his friend is the writer/story creator) for about a year. They hope to publish and sell it at some point soon. Vehicle: 2003 Opel Zafira in silver. Not the most attractive car, but he got it for cheap and it has been very reliable for him. Worldly Possessions: Lots of art supplies, a bunch of comic books, tons of dog toys, a photo album full of family pictures (put together for him by his mother before he moved to Spain), and tons of blankets and pillows because he loves to be comfy~ Pet(s): A black and white Mucuchi named Oreo. Rafael loves taking Oreo pretty much anywhere that dogs are allowed, and Oreo is always very happy to go on adventures.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: Just under 6’ Hair: He generally keeps it trimmed short just because it is easier to take care of, though he occasionally grows it out a little longer so the curls really show. He’s never dyed it before, so it is his natural dark brown color. Facial Hair: He always has at least a little bit of facial hair, even if it’s just some light scruffiness. He does like to let it grow out more sometimes. Eye Colour: Brown with some flecks of hazel Skin Tone: Dark, though the tone varies depending on the time of year. He is quite a bit darker in the warmer months thanks to his love of the outdoors. Clothing: He dresses casually for the most part, lots of jeans and t-shirts (especially band tees). If he’s working, he might wear a nice jacket as well. He almost always wears combat boots, unless he’s going running or hiking, then he’ll wear comfy sneakers. He loves wearing beanies, especially in colder weather, and he has them in a bunch of different colors. Although he doesn’t have much reason to dress up, he does look great in a suit and has some nice clothes on hand just in case. Distinguishing Marks: He has a couple of large tattoos on his chest, and a half sleeve on his left arm. He plans on getting more tattoos at some point, but he hasn’t decided what he wants or where. Face Claim: Jordan Calloway

H E A L T H Physical Health: Rafael is in excellent health– he loves doing any sort of physical activity, especially if it involves being outdoors, so he's very fit. He works out on a regular basis and eats quite healthy (though he's not opposed to a little junk food now and then). He gets sick now and then, just minor things like a cold or a mild case of the flu, but he's never been seriously sick or anything. Basically, Rafael takes great care of himself. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He can lift very heavy things thanks to his weight training at the gym. He's got good endurance/stamina– he can hike or run for quite a long time before needing a break. He's a good artist with a very distinctive style; he is constantly drawing, doodling on napkins, just keeping his hands busy whenever he can. Addictions: No addictions to speak of. Allergies: Citrus in general makes his mouth hurt, but sometimes he eats it anyway because he just can't resist. Mental Health: Generally good. He had a very stable upbringing with lots of supportive friends and family around. He is lucky enough to never have experienced any sort of mental illness or any really traumatic events in his life.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Rafael was born in Sunnyvale, California to wealthy parents (his mother is an OB/GYN, and his father is a very successful software engineer). He was the fourth of five children. He grew up surrounded by a very loving family, including much of his extended family, and had a near idyllic childhood. Growing up, Rafael always showed an aptitude for art– he was quite a skilled artist from a young age, but he also had a deep interest in his father’s work and loved all things to do with technology. He taught himself to code when he was about twelve years old and even made a couple of very basic games just to practice. Rafael was always a great student, not exactly straight A’s since he had a bit of a hard time in his literature classes and some of the more complicated math classes, but he never got any grades lower than a B, and he always tried his hardest and studied a lot, did extra credit whenever he could, etc. He also always had a lot of friends and was a bit girl crazy in high school, so he was always dating a new girl. He was on his high school’s soccer team as well– the PE coach always wanted him to go out for the football team, but Rafael hated football and still does, so he never bothered, preferring to use the time to do various volunteer projects or just hang out with his friends. Thanks to his excellent GPA and a wealth of extracurriculars and volunteer experience, Rafael had an easy time getting accepted into UC Berkeley. He initially majored in Computer Software Engineering, as he’d always planned– but after a trip across Europe with some of his friends just before his Sophomore year of college, he had a shift in perspective and realized that he really wanted to focus on his art after all. He changed his major to focus on Drawing and Painting, which was a bit of a surprise to his family, but they were, as always, very supportive of his decision, especially since it turned out he wouldn’t lose any progress toward his degree. After graduating, Rafael decided to do what he’d always wanted to do and live abroad. He decided on living in Spain, since he had taken nearly eight years of Spanish between high school and college and was almost fluent at that point. He spent a few years just travelling around Spain, exploring, working odd jobs, meeting people, just having a good time. Eventually he ended up settling in Barcelona after meeting a particularly good group of people, finding himself a quaint little house in the heart of the city, and getting a job as a bouncer in a local strip club. He has been there ever since. Job History: He didn't have his first job until college– he worked as a barista at a Starbucks on campus for his entire college career, which he actually really enjoyed. Once he moved to Spain and started traveling around, he did tons of odd jobs helping out with manual labor, working in restaurants, helping out around people's houses, doing yard work, just anything he could find that didn't require a lot of commitment. Once he settled in Barcelona, he took a job as a bouncer in a strip club because it paid decently well and fit into his schedule very nicely– that is where he's been ever since. Fondest Memories: Lots of happy childhood memories, too many to list actually. One of his fondest memories is his trip across Europe with his college friends. Plus all his adventures across Spain and the various times his sister Eliana has come to visit him. Worst Experiences: His paternal grandparents both died in a car accident when Rafael was fourteen, and that was probably the single worst experience of his life. A couple of his breakups were particularly rough on him as well.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Definitely not a smooth talker, but not super awkward either (unless he’s trying to flirt). He’s laid back when he speaks, not overly formal, always seems pretty relaxed (again, unless he is attempting to flirt). He doesn’t talk excessively, but he’s not quiet or shy either, always loves to jump into a conversation, especially if it’s about a subject he’s interested in. If someone gets him started on a subject he’s passionate about, he gets very animated and excited about it. Accent: American accent, which sometimes comes through in his Spanish– though his Spanish accent, for the most part, is pretty good. Favorite Phrases or Words: He says “oh snap!” a lot when speaking English, something that rubbed off on him thanks to his younger sister. Usual Curse Words: He doesn’t curse a whole lot– it’s not that he’s offended by cursing or anything, he just kind of doesn’t think to curse unless he’s angry or really passionate about something.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-A Sense of Humor: Rafael loves to laugh and has a pretty open sense of humor. The only type of humor he doesn’t vibe with is super offensive or raunchy/sexual humor, that’s just not his thing. But anything silly, clever, wordplay or puns, non-sequitur/weird humor, all of that is totally his cup of tea. Habits: Rafael is a bit fidgety and always has to be doing something with his hands. He can be still if he actively focuses on not fidgeting, but it's a little difficult for him. He's constantly drawing on napkins or little pieces of paper, on himself, and on others if they'll let him. If he doesn't have a pen handy then he'll crack his knuckles or he'll kinda rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He just really cannot hold still unless his mind is fully occupied with something. Fears/Phobias: The whole idea of ghosts or demons really freaks him out. He also sometimes has a touch of existential dread and wonders if he’s going to be alone forever, but that usually doesn’t last long, just a sleepless night or two and then he gets past it. Strengths: Rafael is a very caring, sweet person who is genuinely interested in other people and loves to help whenever he can. He is attentive to people’s needs and tends to anticipate those needs in advance, so he is quite a thoughtful person. In general, he’s an optimist who likes to look on the bright side of things no matter how bad the situation may get and tries not to let the little things get him down. He is also very protective of those he loves, and though he is friendly to people almost all of the time, if anyone is rude to or tries to hurt someone he cares about, he won’t hesitate to speak up on behalf of or physically protect his loved one. Flaws: While his optimism is often a positive trait, Rafael sometimes takes it too far and doesn’t allow himself to just be sad or angry now and then, even when it would be good for him. He tends to suppress any emotion he perceives as negative instead of actually processing his feelings. In relationships, he can be a bit possessive and jealous at times, but he knows that’s his own problem and he really tries not to take it out on his partners. Hopes/Desires: He really hopes to get his comics published at some point– he just really wants to get them out there, even if they don’t get super popular or anything, he’s just really proud of their work and wants people to see it. He also really wants to find someone he can settle down with (or go on adventures with), someone he can spoil with tons of love and affection. He would love to get married and maybe have kids someday, but if his partner didn’t want children he would be okay with that also. Self-Esteem: Super good, honestly. He has his moments of insecurity just like anyone else, but overall he is comfortable with himself and believes himself to be a good person. Religion: Kinda Jewish, kinda atheist. It’s complicated.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up on his right side, usually. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: Night for sure, he is naturally a night owl. Top or Bottom?: Probably top more than anything, but if he was with a partner that wanted to switch it up, he would happily give it a try~ Partying or Relaxing?: This would be a really hard choice for him, but he would probably have to go with partying. He loves the atmosphere of a good party.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Besides his younger sister, Rafael's best friend is Isabel Maduro, a woman he met when he moved to Barcelona. They have been working together on a comic book series for a while now; she is a very talented writer who comes up with stories that blow Rafael's mind. They see each other fairly often not just to work on the comics, but to go on walks or out to lunch, or on the occasional hike. Relationship History: Rafael had a ton of relationships in high school, many of which lasted two weeks or less and obviously those relationships didn't get serious at all– Rafael was just kind of playing the field at that point. He didn't actually have sex, or a serious relationship, until his first year of college. He then dated his first serious girlfriend, and they lasted about six months before she broke things off because she felt he was more attached than she was and she didn't want to waste his time. That is actually how all of Rafael's relationships have gone since then– he always gets broken up with before a year has passed (often much sooner than that) because they're not as into him as he is into them, or he's just too much, being too intense, etc. As a result, he's now reluctant to express his feelings at all because he doesn't want to put pressure on anyone. Sexual Partners: Rafael doesn't exactly get around or anything, but he has had about a dozen sexual partners in his life, all of them women. Thoughts About Sex: Rafael loves sex within the confines of a relationship but doesn't have much interest in it other than that. One night stands, flings, anything like that is not for him. So far, Rafael has only been with women. He's been attracted to men before and he knows he's definitely not straight, but he's always been way too nervous to try and flirt with men. He has never come out to anyone but if he were to end up in a relationship with a man, he wouldn't hesitate to come out– his sister Eliana is a lesbian and currently engaged to another woman, and was readily accepted by their family, so he knows they would all support him if he ever told them.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Shira and Booker Isserlis Age(s): Both 64 years old. Social Standing: White collar for sure, and they are in very good social standing. Occupation(s): She is an OB/GYN who is set to retire in a couple of years, and he is a computer software engineer who doesn’t plan to retire anytime soon. Religion: She is Jewish and he is agnostic, but does observe/celebrate Jewish holidays and events. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: They love and support all of their children unconditionally. They do worry about Rafael sometimes just because he’s more of a wanderer than their other children, he’s a bit more aimless, but they know he can take care of himself. Living/Deceased: Both alive and in excellent health.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Daniel Isserlis, Itai Isserlis, Tamar Huang, and Eliana Isserlis (soon to be Eliana Florakis). Age(s): 34, 32, 31, 29. Yes, their parents basically had all of their children back to back. Social Standing: They have all done very well for themselves, and are all in good social standing. Occupation(s): Daniel is a software engineer and works with their father. Itai is a forensic accountant and he has helped to arrest many white collar criminals. Tamar runs a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged children by providing housing, food, education/tutors, and after school activities. And Eliana is an event planner who specializes in weddings. Religion: Daniel and Tamar are still devoutly Jewish. Itai and Eliana are more like Rafael– they appreciate and enjoy aspects of Judaism but they don’t really believe in it. Quality of Relationship with Character: Rafael loves all of his siblings and would do just about anything for them, but he is definitely the closest with Eliana out of all of them. He really only sees/talks to his other siblings a few times a year, but he talks to Eliana all the time. Living/Deceased: All alive.

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: He lives in a cute little one bedroom house right in the heart of the city, on a very busy street. He loves being right in the middle of everything, so it’s ideal for him. The place was a bit rundown when he first bought it, but he has fixed it up quite a bit and although no one would say it’s luxurious or anything, it’s definitely nice and comfortable. He loves having guests over and has lots of seating and a large TV, plus a pull-out couch in the living room just in case anyone stays the night, not to mention a spacious king sized bed in his room.

#character: rafael isserlis #ship: razio #character sheet

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egopocalypse · 6 years ago

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Return Home

This is one of, if not the longest piece I have posted on this site. As such, most of it will be under the cut.

Also, some parts of it may seem… familiar. I published the original draft of this about two months ago, but have since revised and edited it for class. And as most things have recently, it turned into Domino Effect. What else did I expect.

TW: Suicide

“Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system. Stacy Danvers is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more op-” Click.

Chase sighs, flinging his phone onto the bed beside him. His eyes slip shut as his thumb digs into the scarred flesh on his temple, the circular motion working to loosen the muscle and tendons underneath his skin.

“Great,” he mutters. “Just great. Can she just pick up the phone and answer me for once?”

His hand stretches out, fingers curling tight around the cold glass as he raises it, damp condensation leaving a ring on the wooden nightstand. Water rolls down the sides, dripping on his jeans as he toasts the air, staring at the bland, off-white of the ceiling. “To a happy marriage,” he huffs. “And an even happier divorce.”

The whiskey burns the back of his throat. He grimaces at the taste, tipping the glass back to swallow it all in a single gulp. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and glances at the contents of the bottle gleaming in the lamplight. Only half-empty. Not bad for a bottle he picked up yesterday.

He bounces his leg. How long has it been since he called? Maybe she’s busy, or she’s eating dinner with the kids. Those are valid reasons to ignore him, right? They have to be. He twists around and grabs his phone, the bright light burning his eyes as he checks the time. 7:36 PM. And the call was made… not even five minutes ago. Great.

He pours another drink. It’s going to be a long night waiting for her to call back- that is, if she decides to call him back. At this point, he doesn’t know whether or not he can even expect a call. She might’ve just seen his number and ignored it. He wouldn’t put it past her.

What would they even talk about? Would she finally apologize for the shit she put him through? Would she let him see the kids?

He snorts. Yeah, right, like that’s going to happen. Ever since she dropped off the signed divorce papers two months ago, he hasn’t seen Sam and Emma except for a few hours every other weekend. If the court hadn’t ordered Stacy to give him partial custody, he wouldn’t even have that. She didn’t want anything to do with him. Changing her last name so soon was proof of that.

He can’t remember filling the glass the next time, or the time after that, or the time after that, but by the time he puts the glass down for the last time, it’s 4:30 A.M. The bottle’s empty, shattered pieces scattered across the carpeted floor. He doesn’t remember throwing it, but there’s a dent in wall that wasn’t there a few hours ago. The largest shard spins in his hand, the light reflecting off the sides as he stares at the foot of his bed, elbows on knees and a bored frown on his face.

She still hasn’t responded.

It shouldn’t bother him. It’s not like she hasn’t blown him off before. But something about this is different. Maybe it’s just the alcohol, but something gnaws at him- a monster lurking out of sight, ready to pounce on him and rip him open for the world to see.

A sudden thud catches him off guard, the glass slipping through his fingers as he loses his grip, hitting the floor with a tiny thump. He freezes, his heart pounding furiously as a slow, disordered realization crosses his face.

There’s someone else in the house.

Chase clambers to his feet, clammy hands clutching at the covers as he staggers forward, stumbling through the glass maze. The hall beckons to him, spinning out of proportion and the door dancing out of view, but he trudges forward, stubby nails dragging along the wall as he leans against it.

“Hello?” His voice slurs, dragging the word from his tongue. “Anyone there?”

Silence.

He groans. Of course, no one was going to answer. Anyone in their right mind would be asleep, just like he should be if he has any hope of waking up without a hangover.

“Oh, who am I kidding?” he grumbles, holding the wall for support as he turns back to his room. “Tomorrow’s already gonna suck.”

Crunch.

He pauses, his eyebrows scrunched together as he turns back towards the kitchen. “What the hell?”

There’s that feeling again- that insatiable need itching at the back of his skull. He needs to know if someone’s there. He needs to know that his mind isn’t playing tricks on him.

A hand clamps his shoulder and shoves him against the wall, cold metal pressed against his throat. His head hits the edge of a frame, a searing pain flaring behind dull blue eyes and he blinks, his blurry vision refusing to clear.

“Wh-Who are you?”

“Forgotten me already, Chase?” The figure clicks his tongue and he’s paralyzed, frozen from head to toe. “We’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?”

“N-no, wait-” Fuck, why can’t he think? The knife’s cold steel seeps through his skin and he shivers, goosebumps prickling on his skin. “I-I just- I thought our meeting was next week?”

“Is that so?” Oh god, he can just imagine the smirk lurking in that damn voice. “Tell me, Chase, what else have you forgotten?”

He blinks again, the haze finally clearing from his eyes, and the figure’s exposed in full glory- pearlescent white teeth bared in a sharp grin, short brown hair combed back into a quiff, and beady black eyes staring deep into his soul.

A perfect copy of his own image, except for the eyes and a bloody gash ripped across his throat.

It sickens him to look at it, but he just can’t stop. He’s mesmerized, falling in line with cheap words and empty promises. The memories are faded, dim and just out of view. Something about the kids? Maybe?

“I…” He wets his lips, running his tongue over chapped and split skin. “I don’t know.”

Anti scowls, his eyes boring into Chase’s soul. “Have you forgotten? Or are you just too afraid to remember?” He reaches up and presses a thumb over his scar, digging it into his temple as Chase winces, pain shooting through his skull. “Maybe this will help.”

Anti murmurs something he can’t understand as the memories shove back into place. He staggers, grabbing at the demon to hold himself upright. “I remember!” he gasps. “I remember.”

Anti’s smile stretches, growing into a ghastly grin. “Go on.”

He swallows. “I remember the red seeping into my skin, the sirens blaring in the distance, and screams- screams calling out my…”

Oh.

“My name.”

“Very good.” The knife pulls back from his throat and he retreats, tucking into himself as he distances himself from it.

“I- I killed them, didn’t I?” He accuses, glaring at the figure. “All of them. Stacy, Sam, Emma- they’re gone.”

“You did what had to be done, Chase,” Anti smirks, his hand tilting up Chase’s chin. “I’m just returning the favor.”

He snarls, balling his hands into fists. “Why are you here?”

“What do you think the cops will do when they find you, Brody?” The knife flips in his hand, Chase’s eyes following the path up and down. “Do you think they’ll let you off easy? You shot your own children. You slit your ex-wife’s throat. They’ll charge you with murder and lock you up for good- if they don’t put you right on Death Row.”

Anti catches the knife by the blade and holds the handle out to him. “Better to get it done yourself than wait for the cops to do it for you.”

Chase tries to swallow past the thick lump in his throat. “I can’t-”

“Of course you can,” Anti cocks his head to the side, black eyes glittering in the flickering light. “You’re already a murderer, Brody. Suicide isn’t that different when you think about it. The only difference is whose blood is spilled.”

Chase slumps over, arms curling into his chest as he shudders, icy goosebumps racing along his skin. “I didn’t want this,” he mutters, his voice strained and weak.

“But it’s yours all the same.” The voice grates against his ears, a mockery of his shame, yet he can’t help but fall into it. He’s a wilted corpse; all the fight and anger dissolving into pure exhaustion, and he almost collapses into the other’s waiting arms, burying his head into the crook of his neck. A hand rakes through his hair, sharp nails scraping against his tingling scalp, and he barely resists the urge to sigh, leaning in closer despite his agitation.

He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to see himself like this. He doesn’t want his family to see him like this.

But what’s the point of living if they’re dead? Killed by his own hand, no less.

He’s missed this. He’s missed the touch of another person that he’s ready to cling onto the first thing- figment, demon, hallucination, whatever it is- that gives him even the slightest bit of attention, and he hates it. He can’t stand it.

And yet, he can’t get himself to let go.

“There we go,” Anti croons, caressing his hand through Chase’s hair. He melts into the touch as Anti chuckles, the low rumble of his chest a contrast to Chase’s racing heart. “A single slice and you won’t have to worry anymore.”

“What about you?” He asks, the words muffled by the other’s shoulder.

“Me?” Anti pulls back, a wicked grin splitting his face. “I’ll be right there with you, Chaser. When you go, I will too.” He stifles a laugh. “Hah- In a way, I’ll be the only thing you take with you.”

Chase glances to the side and reaches for the knife, gripping the handle in his clammy palm. “Will it hurt?”

There’s a scoff. “It’s a slit throat, Brody, not a papercut. Of course, it’s going to hurt.”

Chase swallows, staring at the blade in his hand. It wasn’t anything special, just a kitchen knife Anti had probably pilfered from a drawer, yet he can’t suppress the chill that raises the hair on the nape of his neck. One slice and it’d be over. Forever.

Sunlight filters in through the window and he squints, peeking at the colors poking from behind the trees. It’s a thing of beauty, and he appreciates the scenery for his death.

The steel drags across his throat, tearing through flesh and veins. Crimson blood flows from the jagged cut, spilling down his neck and staining his shirt collar a dull red.

The corpse falls forward, a small puddle spreading on the floor, and from his pocket, his phone buzzes. Anti takes it as his form shudders, stripping away his guise. The blood on his neck disappears. Black eyes turn silver. The brown hair becomes dark green, just long enough to tie back. Marvin slips several rings on his fingers and paints a smile on his lips as he looks at the caller ID. A picture of a blond woman with a bright smile lights up the screen, with a name flashing across the top.

Stacy Brody.

“Hey Stacy, Chase can’t pick up the phone right now. He’s a little… preoccupied at the moment. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure he calls you right back when he gets the chance…”

@ill-spink @abouttobesilenced @kisstheashes @lostinegomayhem @sylver-striings @here-be-becquerel @assbutt-of-the-readers @dakotathewhale @acuaticamber06 @spicy-spedicey @superbanananinja234 @imallwaysconfused @cest-mellow @starlightxnightmare @help-trashbin @epicfangirl01 @clownoutofdarkness @mihaela-tbg @iris-the-asparagus @cutewarmachine @sqxxddygremlin @nextstep17 @bunchofdoodlesinspace @dreamsoffallingstars @redangel201 @abyssshifter @eridangan @jaysflight @skyewardlight @wildhorsewolf @metautske @allons-ychey @stuck-in-a-l-o-o-p @kyerrio @unadventurousjulie @lunatrixyl @oliveroxenfree3 @kairomancerr @kitnkas @gray-avidan @dorito-with-no-weakness @lildevyl @glixbitch @spontaneoustornadoes @littleluversblog @hexatrash @paperhatcollection @bookwormscififan @novelistgeek @worm-does-shit @taikeero-lecoredier @mad-men-inc @seannbean

#jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #jacksepticeye fanfiction #writersofjack #river's writing #Domino Effect #Don't worry.#Chase will be back.#He trusts his necromancer after all ;)#Ink =)

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tothedarkdarkseas · 5 years ago

Note

For fanfic writer ask meme: E, J, K, M, P(for any fic or all your fics), R, T, X, and Y. (If that's too many questions, then you can split the answer into multiple posts. Also, no need to answer if you already answered these questions before.)

Thank you so much! I’ll put these below a cut just to account for the length, and I pray Tumblr works like it’s supposed to this evening! I appreciate you having an interest!

E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I really do not identify with Gorillaz characters and thank god for it, or most characters I tend to prefer! Haha, I know that might sound a bit strange, but I can think of very few characters I’d call “my favorite” that I also felt were a reflection of myself in a major way. Of course that isn’t implying that representation isn’t important, but just speaking for my own personal relationship to media– I live with myself all the time, I like people who live very different lives! Having said that, of the characters I write (all two, possibly three of ‘em) I’d say I identify with some of Stu’s worst qualities over anything else: being unambitious but craving reward, self-centered yet lacking in a concrete sense of self, dumb about mostly everything, overcompensating (to be fair, this is Murdoc as well) and so on. Despite picking fun at him I definitely have an affection for an unlikable guy like Stu, I do have sympathy for being sorta pathetic because I feel like I can access that.

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

Hmm! That’s hard to say! At the risk of being an absolute knob, I don’t tend to be a fan of tropes, or at least what I think is meant here by “fanfic tropes” like uhh… the heat goes out and we have to share a bed, or that kind of thing? Is that what this means, the sort of repeated setups for fics? There’s of course a place for everything so I’ve got no real beef with more innocuous stuff, but I wouldn’t say I ever pick to read something because it’s got a “classic” trope. I’m definitely rife with tropes in the broader sense though, I’m rife with things I like and clearly just repeat, haha. I do not smoke pot, but I have a real affinity for characters who do, and this is evidenced by having like… half my stories feature that, haha. If a scene where two characters creep up to being intimate via sharing a joint/bowl/bong counts, that’s definitely a trope I’ve done and would probably do again.

K: Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Does the above count? I’d certainly call myself self-indulgent, haha, I like what I like and I don’t stray very far from it. I think unsatisfying or incompatible intimacy is really interesting and I honestly never get tired of reading or writing that. (Er, as much as I “don’t get tired” of writing anything, which is not saying much as I’m very bad and undisciplined.)

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with? Did it turn into a story?

The only AU I’ve written is Coffin Dancer, which is a story set in the early 1900s about Murdoc being a reanimated corpse and Stu being a gravedigger who buries/exhumes him. Sexy, I know, nothing hotter than… long paragraphs about digging. I think the occult element makes that one a bit weirder than anything else I’ve come up with. I’ve kind of entertained other AU ideas but they tend to be a lot more mundane, to be frank I just really like the characters as they are and I don’t want to change their dynamic too much. As a joke I once suggested something about a riverboat casino (Stu working there, Murdoc trying to pull a money laundering scam via currency exchange, potentially convincing Stu to go in on the scam with him) and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still think about it sometimes and question how to make it work, haha. I think it might be fun to do an AU again, but I think there’s just too much of a gap between what I’d want to do or be capable of doing, and what people actually want to read.

P: Where did you find the most inspiration for your story < insert title >?

Oh gosh, this makes it sound so important and I feel like the biggest jag going to pretend I’ve made anything that great or with particularly impressive roots, haha. A couple came from prompts, so that’s a fairly straightforward answer.

I first began planning Coffin Dancer because I was playing Graveyard Keeper on Steam at the time, haha. If you load up this game, you’ll quickly see there is next to no plot and it is simply a crafting sim. I just sorta… liked the setting, I guess? It is the 1900s and it does follow a graveyard keeper! Following that, I decided it would be a story about Murdoc’s skin turning from tan to green as it does in canon, but giving it a bit of a morbid tint, as opposed to the vague canon handwaves of Murdoc being “immortal” with no clear explanation of what that means.

Ampersands was mostly inspired by me being a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and thinking it’d be fun to show a dynamic similar to Angelus/Drusilla/Spike, but heavily reworked to fit our characters. The first scene I imagined was the shoelace-tying one which has some resemblance to a shot of Angelus knelt at Spike’s feet while still mocking him, and that ended up being the very last scene I wrote (and probably one of the weaker ones.)

On Oysters and Black Water was actually the story that required the least research from me, as I already had an interest in oyster filtration and oyster reef restoration. By no means am I an expert nor is this story a genuinely educated look at this process (I am Genuinely Educated on zero things) but I definitely knew when planning a PB story that I wanted oysters to be used for a filtration system on the island, just as a little nod to something I find neat!

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

This really puts me at risk of sounding knobbish, so to start with: I’m not really a writer. Fanfiction writer is already not the most impressive title, but even that I feel is a little generous for me. I’ve written things, but I struggle far too much and have too little dedication to pretend it’s something I feel “cut from the same cloth” as these folks to do. The writers I admire have “influenced” me in the sense that I’ve wished I could write that way, and I’ve probably/definitely ripped them off.

Some will find this laughable, but I’m a fan of Joey Comeau’s writing style. I’ve enjoyed every book he’s published, in particular the short novels Malagash and Lockpick Pornography, and especially his… err, non-novel collection of cover letters Overqualified. (I think I’ve read Overqualified more than anything else on my bookshelf, but this is saying very very little as you can sit down and read it in about 30 minutes.) The darkly comedic way he presents these ideas, how he’ll expand on these very offbeat details and veer so far from the topic, then take sudden sharp turns into something uncomfortable is just enjoyable to me.

Also somewhat cliched now, but Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn is a beautiful book to me. Beagle’s writing style is ideal for the fantasy setting, the poetry in his prose does not tip over the “purple” line for me (but I’ve always been unclear where the line is, obviously) and I’d really… feel like I’d accomplished something if I could say anything half as powerful as this book.

Shirley Jackson, (famously) the author of The Lottery and (less famously) We Have Always Lived in the Castle springs to mind as well. The latter in particular has a gothic tone, an at times strange sentence structure and an unreliable POV, which probably influenced Coffin Dancer stylistically and everything else I’ve done in perspective/structure.

But as far as influences, nothing more directly influenced me than @elapsed-spiral‘s writing and characterization. Old drum I’ve beat before, but it’s simply the truth. I would not have tried to write fanfiction again (after… many, many years) if I hadn’t found Danni’s stories and felt that excitement of reading something truly special. Now, it’s important to note that Danni is British so they’ll come out in hives if I praise them too much, but sincerely nothing in recent years has made me feel a “passion” for reading or writing like Yearz did. The oneshots Fairy Vale and Beside the Sea also deserve special mention for just being goddamn phenomenally good character studies. “Influence on your writing” could be misleading, in the sense that Danni’s biggest strengths (namely Being Funny, Being Realistic and Knowing What You Are Talking About) are among my biggest weaknesses, and I don’t feel that stylistically we’re all that similar; on the flipside though, I think so much of my “improvement” is really owed to Danni, aaaand I don’t think you’d ever look at something I’ve written and miss the fact that it’s ripping off Yearz in one way or another.

T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Ahaha, alright, this jogs my memory and I do remember stepping on eggshells to answer this before! I mentioned above that I’m just not a big fan of tropes in general, but that means nothing as I don’t… have good taste. I never have. Famously bad taste over here. I don’t have any interest in raining on anyone’s fun or policing fan content, but I think we’re all perfectly fine just co-existing without feeling obligated to anything. More than anything else, in Gorillaz specifically I’d say there are some portrayals of their relationship that I find a little dodgy and I tend to avoid, but I recognize full well that many people may feel the same way about me! I also just like the characters to be compelling and to be themselves, whatever your version of them is. Of course my characterization is bonkers and mostly made-up and I have no expectation that someone else’s should resemble mine, but even if we have different ideas, I don’t like to feel you can slot them out and anyone else in? Which is why standard tropes like “coffeeshop” or “fake dating” don’t tend to be my favorite. Oh, I’m also a fuddy-duddy and I don’t love the nicknames, haha.

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading? Are you a voracious reader? Do you carefully pick and choose? Something in between?

I’m not a very big reader these days! I’d like to offer you a good excuse here, but I’m just picky, truth be told.

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

In total honesty, it takes all of about a month to become completely unsatisfied with anything I’ve written. That’s not like, a plea for sympathy, it’s just being objective. I write comparatively little and comparatively slow, so whatever growth that may happen is still pretty limited and it’s a little disheartening, even if it’s also my own fault for having poor discipline. I would not call any of my stories “good,” at best “good for what they are.” There are definitely some I wished did better, I wished with a stupid amount of sincerity would hit some magical validating number that would Suddenly Mean It Was Good… but after a little distance, I can always understand why they wouldn’t.

Hoooowever, some are undeniably worse than others. Based on both hits and kudos, my most popular story is my first one (I Couldn’t Feel, So I Would Touch) and this is truly baffling as it’s garbage. I mean, with no exaggeration I just think this is bad writing through and through, it’s truly just the worst thing I’ve written over the age of 20. I hoped I’d get this question purely because of this, haha, I feel such shame every time I see this story at the top of my statistics page. If we consider that to be the “most popular,” no, I do not tend to be most satisfied with the most popular story. We could define that differently though; for example, I think the story that got the most notes here and I received spectacular fanart on (a thing I just… can’t believe can happen, how nice is that?) was Oysters, and at a time I did consider that my favorite, I was incredibly proud of it when I posted, and even if I’ve grown exhausted by my overwriting too much to read it again I do still rate it pretty favorably compared to the others. So it depends on what constitutes popular! But if we’re just talking hits and kudos, sadly my stats page puts some of the worst stuff at the top.

#i've got to head to bed so i apologize if there are any glaring errors in this answer!#Anonymous #thank you very much for the letters! that's a kindness!

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janabetweenbooks · 5 years ago

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Twilight

*no spoilers*

It is currently 3 am and and I have just finished the last ten chapters of Twilight by Stepehnie Meyer. This time I actually took notes when reading it and as I read it as an ebook I even highlighted certain passages that I thought were important or interesting to make up my mind.

First things first: I went into this with very low expectations and an almost comical hate for the movies/books. That is due to the fact that I have this weird thing that I generally hate everything that is enjoyed by the broad masses. Not because I’m tring to be ~edgy~ or a hipster or anything, but because it has proven true that I do dislike these things and don’t want to waste my time with them.

A little backstory here: When the Twilight movies happened I was changing from elementary school to middle school and that was generally a very weird time for me. Every girl loved Twilight and seemed obsessed with it, especially with good looking Robert Pattinson. Apart from the fact that I didn’t understand what was supposed to be handsome about him (spoiler: you’re fucking gay), I was plainly annoyed by the fact that no one around me seemed to talk about anything else. That was, I think, the first time I developed this hate for popular things around me. I did watch the movies, I will admit. But only to prove that they’re awful and god knows they are, I still stand by that.

Which brings us to the next thing: the books. Why did I read them when I hate the movies? Good question actually. I follow a lot of bookstagrammers and several are obsessed with Twilight, during these weird times (COVID-19 related) many rewatched the movies and posted about them in their story. I thought to myself ‘hey, you haven’t watched the movies in forever and you don’t even remember 5% of what happened, just rewatch them and see if they’re still bad, god knows you have the time’. So I decided to watch Twilight. For a reason I’m not going to display here right now I was stopped about ten minutes in and a day later I decided that the movie was just too bad and hey, I had just gotten a new tablet and wanted to read more ebooks, would you look at that it’s only 5 bucks in the kindle store! Before I could really take in what had happened I had purchased the book and was through the first three chapters.

And weirdly enough, I enjoyed it. I was flabbergasted because I went into it with so many prejudices but the writing was actually good. The first thing I realized was that it reminded me a lot of my own writing. I mean, it’s always weird when you compare your own writing to the one of a published author, but I realized that there were so many parallels between her and my own writing, it frankly unsettled me.

Now, I did take notes as I read and here’s my thoughts. The first thing was that I thought the writing was awkward. But you just said it was like your own! Exactly! That is the point! I was caught off-guard by that at first I confused it for being awkward. Frankly, some parts are still awkward and not very well thought out but I’ll give her that because I’m the same. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to further elaborate on some things and then that’s that. Should the editor have seen that and changed it? Probably. But it’s fine the way it is.

Then I found that the actions of some people—especially those of Edward—confused me. Some of the writing was so over the place that in the early stages of reading about Bella and Edward interacting I was more than confused as to what was happening. I suppose that was the intended effect, nonetheless it threw me off and made it a little hard for me to keep up with what was happening.

Soon I realized something, that at the beginning did terrify me a little. Like I had said, I went into the book with lots of prejudices. I was surprised at how genuinely I liked Edward. Book Edward mind you, movie Edward is so awkward that I want to cringe myself out of my skin the whole time. There were times where some of his reactions and especially his words reminded me of Jace Herondale. The sarcasm and the smugness were ever so reminiscent of him. I think that is one very big reason for liking him so much. I watched the movie while I was almost halfway through the book and I could clearly compare book Edward to movie Edward and decided that I very much preferred book Edward.

Then there was a thing that I first couldn’t really categorize on whether I liked it or not but I soon realized that it was actually rather clever. I’m not a fan of info dumps and I try to avoid them as much as possible when writing. I think Stephenie concealed such ‘info dumps’ rather clever. Bella obviously didn’t know anything about the vampire world and it would only be natural for her to pierce Edward and his family with questions. It was a natural reaction to what happened to her and it was a clever way to give us all the information that we needed in a rather short amount of time. I guess it helped that we saw it from Bella’s persepective as well, otherwise it wouldn’t have worked out that well because Edward already knew all these things, obviously.

I was put off by one thing though, I’m still not sure if it was a justified reaction or not. I was a bit confused by Bella’s absolute lack of being scared or repulsed by what she was finding out. She sort of just accepted everything as she went. I know it was thematized in the book that she thought she should be afraid of all that was happening to her and that unnaturally she wasn’t. But I’m just asking myself why. We never got an explanation. As well as the whole thing about Edward watching her when she sleeps. She didn’t even seem much unnerved by it. No normal person would be okay with someone just watching them without their knowledge in their most vulnerable state.

Lastly, I was put off by Bella’s obsession with Edward. They knew each other for half a year and she already told him, and I quote the book directly now, “You are my life”, and she means it. I think that’s a little bit thick for such a relatively small amount of time and for the fact that she’s 17. I think this is the same problem that is always being critcized in fanfiction: that things move too fast, so why is it accepted in this form? Another example: She told Edward that she loved him on the same day they kissed for the first time.

All in all I have to admit it was a very interesting book and I’m definitely going to finish the series, I have already bought the second book and will start reading later today (remember it’s 3am here, well 3:30 by now whoops), after I have watched the movie so I can have something to compare to. I think I would give the book 4/5 stars, which is more than I could have ever imagined giving Twilight. I guess opinions can change and that’s a good thing.

Have a nice day, stay safe and stay hydrated x

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tkmedia · 4 years ago

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'It wasn't the way I wanted to move on but it just had to be...'

4:47am, 03 October 2021 Telusa Veainu was enjoying an autumnal day off from Stade Francais last Wednesday when RugbyPass unwittingly took the pep from his step by mentioning over the phone the deflating news that had broken in England the day before. Wasps had provided a seriously disappointing medical bulletin on the status of Malakai Fekitoa, the former All Blacks midfielder who was recently able to change his Test XV allegiance to Tonga after representing their 7s side in June in the Olympic qualifier head in Monaco. ADVERTISEMENTRather than now giddily going on and playing for the Tongans in the upcoming internationals versus Scotland at Murrayfield and England at Twickenham, a shoulder dislocation has ruled out the 29-year-old who earned the last of his 24 All Blacks caps in 2017. The revelation about Fekitoa had eluded Veainu, who had spent his Tuesday winding up his football-mad Stade teammates at training by claiming he was a Manchester City fan before that night’s clash with PSG at the Parc des Princes across the road from his current club’s Stade Jean-Bouin stadium.

What happened when RugbyPass went behind the scenes with the Tonga national team

What happened when RugbyPass went behind the scenes with the Tonga national team“I’m not really a big football fan but I know boys at the club are big PSG fans. I was supporting Man City just to stir the pot a little bit. It’s the hottest ticket around town at the moment, the PSG ones,” he quipped at the start of the interview with RugbyPass.Veainu went on to be playfully polite and well-spoken on a myriad of topics, even when it came it reflections on his delicate contract rebel exit from Leicester in July 2020. However, the prognosis about Fekitoa now being unavailable for the internationals on October 30 and November 6 left him flustered. “Is he (out)? I didn’t even know that. Ah, f**k that… ah s**t!Ex-All Blacks midfielder Malakai Fekitoa was all set to represent Tonga against Scotland and England but Wasps have now issued a disappointing update #Wasps #Tonga #AllBlackshttps://t.co/sMqvGEjplm— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) September 28, 2021“As soon as he qualified a lot of the boys sent him messages, ‘This is awesome’. It was just a good vibe. I spoke to some of the boys from the 7s and they were so happy to see him come back and to give back to Tonga. It was really good.” ADVERTISEMENTIt was 15 months ago when Veainu’s change of a different type of allegiance made headlines. Financially worried Leicester were demanding across the board salary cuts but the Tongan international, who had been in the East Midlands for five years, stuck to his guns along with Manu Tuilagi, Noel Reid, Greg Bateman and Kyle Eastmond by refusing to stay for less. He’d nothing lined up when he took his brave stance, but it didn’t take long for his talent to find a suitable suitor in Stade Francais and a three-year deal was quickly agreed. Sweet. “At the time they did what was right for them in terms of the pandemic and I was doing what I needed to do for my family and to support them and that was the decision I had to make based on that. “At the time I didn’t really have any options and it was just when things started to break down with Leicester and the news started to be published that Stade heard about it and came through. At the time all the clubs had finished all their signings and I was very fortunate to be picked up by Stade. I owe so much to Leicester and they will always be my team. It has a special place in my heart. It’s where everything took off for me and I’m always cheering the boys on, supporting them from afar. “Welford Road is probably the best place I have played in front of fans. Every time I went out and played I just wanted to showcase myself, to put my best foot forward and it gave me a confidence and an arrogance that when I stepped out at the stadium I was never going to lose. ADVERTISEMENT“But looking back at the decision I made, it was just the right one at the right time for me and it was probably the change that I needed. They were fine, they had Freddie Steward coming up as a young kid. He had all the potential and we knew he was going to go out and showcase it, so it was just a matter of time. For me, it was just the perfect time to move on. It wasn’t the way I wanted to move on but it just had to be.“As a Pacific islander, your faith comes first and then your family and then it’s either football or food. That was part of the decision and the other one was just to try and experience something different. Experience a different culture. I’d been there for five seasons and just wanted to try something different.”Paris is proving to be exactly that – very different in so many ways. To begin with, moving there in a pandemic wasn’t exactly ideal. “It was crazy,” he admitted. “It was pretty stressful on my partner and my daughter at the time, especially not being able to speak the language and coming here trying to settle in. The training was tough and we were all in little bubbles.”Stade eventually finished sixth in Veainu’s first season and while they are currently bottom following four defeats in their opening five games this term, the latest coming at Brive on Saturday, it is still very early days. “Top 14 is a long season and it’s definitely more about how you finish,” he explained. “It’s a marathon. For us it’s just focusing on what we are trying to do, trying to play some good footy, getting those combinations right and believing in our own ability.“Gonzalo (Quesada) has been awesome. He has been all about getting to know the person, allowing individuals to express themselves when they go out on the pitch. He is also big on family and the off-field stuff. He has got a very simple game plan as well which I really love and enjoy playing. It worked for us last year and when we do things right we can punish some teams. “I just like how the French embrace life,” continued Veainu. “Rugby can’t be everything to them. It’s about balance. They like to have a cigarette here and there, have wine with their lunch and all that stuff. It has definitely opened up my eyes. When I was at Leicester it was all about rugby, rugby, rugby. Even when you went home it was rugby, rugby. But here they are able to switch off and they are able to go and have a nice dinner together. It’s just different. “When I first came here I thought, ‘No, this is the wrong way’. Then I realised there are more ways, different ways of skinning a cat. They have just got a different way of doing it. You think the French are unprofessional but they are not, they have just got their own way of dealing with how they play rugby and their approach to it. They are a lot more emotional. There is so much more passion in it, which is a bit more different to what I experienced at Leicester. It’s just crazy sometimes but it is just such a refreshing attitude on rugby and life as well.”Not since after the 2019 World Cup in Japan has Veainu made it back to Christchurch. Home is where the heart is, where the 30-year-old’s rugby story started in league before switching to union and accelerated. “I’m from a big family, one of eleven. A Christian family brought up in New Zealand, we didn’t have much. My parents were very hard workers, my dad worked two jobs to provide for us. I owe a lot to my parents for the sacrifices they made for me and the family… They watch my games, but Peppa Pig is dominating the TV back home at the moment. They are just more happy they have got grandkids.”When Veainu started out it was with notions of being the league superstar. “I thought I was Benji Marshall but I was nothing like him and when I saw the rugby (union) boys getting really cool kit, I decided to switch. We were playing league on Sundays, rugby on Saturdays. I just played along with my friends, then started to make a few rep teams and that was it, I stuck at it.“I still played league all the way up until I was 16, just dipping in and out, just keeping it quiet and not telling the rugby coaches about it. I was on a scholarship in my school so when they found out we had to stop and I wasn’t allowed to play anymore so I just had to focus on rugby. “I’m not the type of person that gets down and would be gutted about things like that. It was, ‘Oh it was fun while it lasted’ and I moved on. At the time I was training in the academy at the Crusaders and then made New Zealand U17s. From then on that was when I was really thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I was so, so fortunate to be in the top 50 players in New Zealand’. Coming back from that camp I was on a high. I realised I could make a decent career out of this if I trained hard and put my head down.”It wasn’t enough, though. For sure he had the potential. Just look at his pedigree with the World Cup-winning Baby Blacks, scoring a hat-trick for New Zealand in the 2010 Junior World Cup final. However, Veainu couldn’t crack Super Rugby. Unfulfilled spells at the Highlanders and Crusaders led him to the Rebels, but even there it didn’t happen for him and by June 2015 he was considering his options outside the game. Then came a life-changing call from Tonga. “I was sort of at rock bottom and then Tonga threw me the lifeline for the Pacific Nations Cup. I played a few games and the coach at the time asked me if I wanted to come to the World Cup. Obviously, they had a load of good wingers and full-backs at the time but I just said, ‘Yeah, why not, I’ll come along as baggage man’. Next thing you know I’m playing all of those games and I’m picked up from Leicester after that. “In Melbourne, I didn’t get much game time. I was just doing a lot of training and playing club rugby. Really low in confidence because I wasn’t getting selected. I felt at the time I could offer something different but I wasn’t being used. I was still doing everything I could but I just wasn’t getting a crack. The coach at the time just wouldn’t give me a look in until everyone got injured pretty much.“When I came back to New Zealand and I was, ‘Far out, I need to get a job’. I’d a few interests in rugby but at that point of time, I just wanted to be home with family, be surrounded by them and seeing them motivated me to get back into rugby and find the love for it and literally two, three weeks later I was at Tonga training. When I went to Tonga it felt, ‘This is where I belong’. Being back at home in the motherland and just seeing my people was awesome. It gave me such a refreshing perspective on rugby.”Welcome to Tigers @tveainu #Tigersfamily pic.twitter.com/1gKxekKnQx— Leicester Tigers (@LeicesterTigers) October 28, 2015It’s a perspective Veainu would love the global rugby authorities to appreciate and nourish rather than allow their reputation to be tarnished by embarrassments such as last July’s 16-try, 102-0 hammering by the All Blacks. It was never a fair fight, the result highlighting how difficult it is resources-wise for tier two countries such as Tonga to bridge the gap to the rugby elite. “How long has this been going on for, and it’s the same for Fiji and Samoa. Fiji are a lot better now but there is just no fair game for us in the Pacific Island nations. They asked us for a game but there were no MIQ spots. Everything just seems to go against us.”If there was one thing Veainu would change overnight it is the eligibility rules. The last rugby league World Cup demonstrated the positives that can materialise as a strengthened Tonga were transformed and packed out stadiums in New Zealand. “By being able to switch alliances you don’t know how much that impacts the young generation. Instead of wanting to play for the Kiwis they want to play for Tonga now and you have guys who have had one or two Tests for New Zealand or Australia, they can now offer their services to grow the game here in Tonga by playing for Tonga and bringing their high profile over.“The Tonga fans don’t have much but they give their voices and literally would give you the shirt off their back. They just love rugby and rugby league. Can you imagine if Tonga was a tier-one nation? Oh my goodness! The towns would be painted red and there is a lot of support in New Zealand as well. We have had training in Auckland and there were a lot of supporters turning up, bringing us fresh watermelon, coconut juices and things like that. We just loved putting a smile on their faces.”It’s two years now since Veainu earned the last of his twelve Test caps before the world ground to a halt, but he hopes to soon add to that tally with the upcoming games in Scotland and England as Toutai Kefu has been in touch. “I’ve spoken to him a few times. He is quite a bubbly guy and he is pretty happy. He just wants to get busy again. He is recovering (from being injured in a robbery at his home) and I’m really happy that he came through alright.“I’m definitely putting my hand up to be involved in the game. I’m looking forward to it. I haven’t been able to play for Tonga in a long time due to the pandemic, so I can’t wait to see the boys again.”

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simnovels-blog · 8 years ago

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Originally created by xFroggiiiI

I was tagged by @rosiesimming , thanks! <3

I’ll do this one for Madelyn! :)

RULES: 1. Pick a character you’ve created. 2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were that character. 3. Tag at least four people to do this meme (sorry I’m terrible at picking people to tag and I don’t want to tag people who already did this)

Questions and answers are below the cut

1. What is your name? Madelyn Avesnes. 2. Do you know why you were named that? Not really, I think my mother just likes fancy names considering all my siblings have long names as well. Names like this are probably popular among the nobility?

3. Single or taken? I am very single. Though I’d love to find someone to love, I can’t imagine having time for it with all my traveling. But you know what they say: you always find love when you least expect it! So who knows? 4. Have any abilities or powers? I don’t know if it counts that I’ve been labeled a genius? I’m also a pretty good writer, considering my publisher is giving me weekly royalties of 680 simoleons for my very first sports book which isn’t even about actual sports? 5. Stop being a Mary Sue! I’m NOT a Mary Sue!! If I was, then I’d actually have a nice crowd of friends, I’d still be in proper contact with my family and I wouldn’t have abandoned my duties as a heiress just because my arranged husband decided to skip town. I’m a quitter and I neglect people once they are out of my sight. Out of sight out of heart, is that how the saying goes? Also, other people sometimes consider me too rational in situations when I should be more emotional... 6. What’s your eye color? Blue, I got them from my dad. 7. How about hair color? Brunette, can’t you see all of this in the picture above? 8. Have you any family members? Yes, too many of them. I have four siblings: Ferdinand, Celeste, Annabelle and Vincent. Annabelle and Vincent are actually fellow triplets of mine. My parents are dead. I have some nieces and nephews but I never saw them past their infant stage. 9. Oh, how about pets? I don’t know if Angel counts as my pet, since she was basically Ferdinand’s. But yeah, that dog was awesome and I still miss her sometimes. Maybe I’ll get one of my own later, but only when I decide to truly settle down somewhere. I can’t imagine having to drag along a dog on all my foreign adventures. It’d be too much of a hassle. 10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like. I don’t like people who are fake friendly. Seriously, I can always easily spot it when someone isn’t being genuine and it just pisses me off. 11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? As I said before I like to write, though I also like painting and playing the piano. 12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? Definitely. I know she’s dead, but I’m sure I hurt my mother a lot by leaving Riverview. I promised her I’d make sure her legacy would live on and in the end I wasn’t able to fulfill this promise. Of course, I made sure Celeste took the job for me, but it’s not the same. I basically just passed on the responsibility that should’ve stayed mine. It’s why the memory of my mother always makes me sad I guess... 13. Ever … killed anyone before? Uhm, what? Of course not what the fuck? 14.What kind of animal are you? Humans ARE animals in case you didn’t know this. But I get the questions so I’ll answer it the way you want me to: I feel like I’d be an owl. 15.Name your worst weaknesses. My worst weakness is probably the difficulty I have to emotionally attach myself to something. I mean I can do it in the end. I was emotionally attached to my family for example, but it’s hard for me to find new things or people to attach myself to. It’s why I can’t stay in one place for too long!

16.Do you look up to anyone at all? I look up to Celeste a little. She appears to be superficial but I know she’s a lot smarter than she looks. She cares a lot about appearances, but she wouldn’t marry anyone that doesn’t have a brain. I envy her relationship with Herbert. They were so lucky, really. It’s why I had no problems passing on the inheritance to her, since I knew she’d be really happy in that kind of situation anyways. I do envy that.

17.Are you straight, gay or bisexual? I’m straight, though in all honesty I could probably marry a woman as well and be happy about it. I’d never truly be in love though but I was raised with the idea that marriage isn’t really about that anyways. 18. Do you go to school? I’m already finished with school. 19.Ever want to marry and have kids one day? Yeah I do, but only god knows when I’ll truly be ready for that. 20.Do you have fangirls/fanboys? Maybe back in Riverview where my household name was actually part of the elite, but the places I go now, nobody knows me. 21.What are you most afraid of? I guess I’m most afraid of facing my dead mother one day haha... this is a sims world after all and it’s not out of the question that one day her ghost will show up in front of my door to punish me for abandoning the aristocracy! But for real? I’m afraid to be lonely my entire life. At one point back in Riverview I lived in a household of 10. Being all alone for years already has made me feel quite lonely and it is my fear that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. 22.What do you usually wear? My everyday outfit that my creator never really changes because she’s lazy to go into CAS all the time. 23.What’s one food that tempts you? Nothing much, really. I’m a pretty disciplined person and don’t get tempted by stuff I shouldn’t be eating. Though on the other hand I’m also not one of those health freaks that doesn’t eat unhealthy stuff when in reality it’s delicious and it can’t hurt to eat it once in a while. 24.Am I annoying you? Some of these questions are a little shallow, yes. 25.Well, its not over! Alright. 26.What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)? I’m not in any class. 27.How many friends do you have? None. 28. What are your thoughts on pie? No real thoughts. 29.Favorite drink? Coffee 30. What’s your favorite place? Abroad. I don’t have a favorite place (yet), but anywhere that is not my hometown is pretty awesome to me. 31.Are you interested in anyone?~ At the moment? No, not really. I don’t really know any guys besides my brothers. 32.That was a stupid question. … It wasn’t the only stupid question though. 33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? In the lake, salty water is bad for your skin. 34.What’s your type? Someone who has a nice set of brains and doesn’t try to be someone he’s not. I really don’t care what my future husband looks like, whether he’s fat or ugly or way shorter than me, it doesn’t matter. I’m not so shallow that I focus on looks when it comes to a life partner. But I’m not blind to attractive men either of course. 35.Any fetishes? ...? 36.Seme or Uke? I’m not a yaoi. 37.Camping or indoors? I like both, as long as it’s abroad.

#Sims 3 tag #Madelyn Avesnes

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theofficialcunt · 8 years ago

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Simplicité - Chapter 4.5

Happy Simplicité Saturday! (Or Sunday, idk what time it is where you are) Sorry that I’ve been so off schedule lately, but I’m gonna try my best to stick to Saturdays (feel free to yell at me if I don’t). Yep, it’s another inbetweener. I felt like there needed to be more info about the aftermath of what happened at Bianca and Adore’s. I promise this chapter is worth it. Thanks to @veronicasanders for being a fucking genius and helping me out a ton with this chapter. ❤️ TW: Angst, eye fucking, cursing. No Bianca this chapter, I’ll be saving her antics for Chapter 5. Enjoy! Have a great weekend everyone!

When Courtney finally made her way down to the parking garage, she finally felt the gravity of what she had just done. She was crushed. She climbed into her Ford Explorer and slammed the door shut behind her, letting out a long anticipated wail. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry until she got to her car, and she was happy in that moment that she had kept that promise to herself. But she still felt like she let herself down by running out of the apartment like that. The whole situation was painfully bittersweet, proud of herself on one hand yet disappointed on the other. Especially since the feelings weren’t mutual, and never had been.

She turned the keys in her car, turning on the radio for background noise before she pushed her seat back. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she rolled herself in a small blonde ball as she wept. She shook violently as she realized Bianca would never love her the way that she wanted her to.

It would never go past a platonic relationship.

She had thought she had come to terms with that after their one night stand, but it was like her heart was cracked back open all over again. She felt good letting herself fall apart for the first time since then, her tears pouring out of her rapidly as her chest heaved. It felt good to let herself feel something other than anger.

It was unlikely that Bianca would even mention this whole altercation at work, so it’s not like anything was really going to change between the two of them. What good did she really do by confronting Bianca?

She was always the one to love more, and that was her problem. She always fell so fast for people, and Bianca was no exception. They had been best friends for so long, and she had loved her.

The problem with Bianca was that no one made her happier than her. She always made her laugh whenever she was feeling upset, and always knew how to lighten the mood.

But at the same time no one could make her sadder. Bianca had so much power over her and how she felt. She didn’t even realize the power she held until it was too late. Until she was heartbroken, crying in her car in the fetal position.

I hate you, I love you by gnash and some girl she didn’t know was playing now, and it was as if they were singing directly about Courtney. As it blared softly in the background, she realized that she wasn’t doing herself any good crying in Bianca’s parking garage in the middle of Chicago. She listened to the song in silence, letting the lyrics sink in as she relived what just happened with Bianca.

She was starting to feel depressed. She hiccuped as she continued to cry, gasping for air as she squinted her eyes shut. She was an ugly crier, much like Kim Kardashian, and never let herself truly cry for fear of wrinkles.

Tonight, she made an exception as she let her face contort in ugly positions. This was about getting it all out. After tonight, she vowed to never let herself cry about Bianca Del Rio again.

Another 10-15 minutes went by, before she started feeling calm again. Not completely okay, but calm enough to start driving.

She didn’t want to go home though. Something in her was feeling rebellious for the first time in awhile. She peered at her gas gauge, noting she had a full tank. That was a sign.

Fuck Bianca and fuck Chicago. She was gonna get the fuck out of here. Being here was doing nothing for her.

Courtney sniffled one last time, before wiping her tears from her cheek as she sat up. She pulled her seat back up, buckling herself in as she turned up the radio. Praying by Kesha was on now, and Courtney turned it all the way up as she sang along to the lyrics.

She let herself cry as she sang the words. Courtney started her car, gripping onto the steering wheel and pulled the car out of the parking garage. She made a few turns and merged onto 55, not sure where she was going but not caring at this point. She was going to go as far away as she could from this stupid city.

As she screamed along to the chorus of Kesha’s song down 55 to 90, she felt a heavy weight lift off her shoulders as Chicago blurred past her.

If she was quick, she could make it to the bar by 11:30. She pressed down on the pedal, speeding down the tollway as she blasted 101.9.

Courtney sang and cried and felt everything she had been repressing for months, and passed the Welcome to Indiana sign. She sighed in relief, rolling down her windows and letting the humidity dance across her skin as she felt the freedom from her inner saboteur.

—–

Earlier That Night

Adore smiled to herself as she closed her bedroom door. Farrah’s number was at her fingertips, thanks to Bianca. She let her hands dance across the screen nervously before she mustered up the courage and texted the number.

Adore: Hey, this is Adore. I hope it isn’t weird that I’m texting you!

Adore placed her phone back in her pocket as she grabbed her bluetooth stereo. She blared Lana Del Rey softly as she let herself plop on her bed for the first time since the morning. She sighed, relieved that she was finally in the comfort of her own room. Alone. She had been around people who literally judged her all day. It had been incredibly exhausting. Honestly, she would do anything for some weed right now - even though it probably wasn’t nearly as good as her California grass.

She laid her head against the pillow, happy to be able to just relax by herself. She closed her eyes, sighing as she let her mind wander aimlessly. Her phone softly vibrated against her a few minutes later, causing her to jump up a few feet in surprise.

Farrah: OMG not at all! Farrah: Is it totally weird that I was waiting for you to text me? Like, I could’ve asked for your number but it just slipped my mind.

Adore’s heart jumped at the thought of Farrah just waiting for a text from her. She could’ve asked Adore for anything she wanted and she would’ve given it to her. With the corners of her lips turned up, she began typing out a response:

Adore: You’re so blonde lmao Adore: Why DIDN’T you ask me for my number if you don’t mind me asking?

After she hit send, Adore bit her nails in anticipation. It was a risky text, a tad straightforward but she just wanted to get the theatrics over with. Adore was ditzy, but she wasn’t stupid. There was clearly something between them, whether Farrah wanted to acknowledge it or not.

Farrah: Because you’re hot ;) Farrah: Also I don’t know that much about you yet and if you’ll rat me out to B.

Adore felt her cheeks warm as she read the first text. Her smile quickly faded to a frown as she read the part about Bianca.

Adore: I’ve known B a few days, I’m no rat haha. Adore: Trust me, out of the two of us you’re the hot one. You’re fucking gorge.

Farrah: You never know. I thought Valentina was cool until she ratted me out to B for smoking weed. Good thing she doesn’t give a shit otherwise I wouldn’t have a job.

That was news. Good to know cranky wine drunk Bianca didn’t care about a little marijuana.

Adore: Who’s Valentina? Omg thank god someone else smokes. Farrah: Oh right, you haven’t met her yet. She’s Bianca’s cousin or something, idfk. She runs the front desk part time. Yesss! Do you wanna smoke with me tomorrow?

Adore felt a weight lift off her chest at the thought of smoking again. She didn’t care if it was midwestern weed, something was better than nothing. In California, she had been smoking every day since she was 17 years old. She hadn’t missed a day since she began, mostly because it helped her anxiety so much.

Adore: That’s not the only thing I want to do with you tomorrow ;)

God, she felt so cheesy typing that out and sending it. But, she wanted to make sure her attraction to her was seen loud and clear.

Farrah: I’m glad the feeling is mutual. ;) Farrah: I’ll see you tomorrow, I have to be at the salon suuuuuper early so I need my sleep!Let’s do something after work tomorrow. Adore: Goodnight!

Her heart was racing as she set her phone down on her bedside table. Adore had something resembling a date tomorrow with the lovely Farrah, and couldn’t be more excited.

She didn’t know how she was going to sleep tonight.

-----------

Courtney arrived in Indianapolis at around 11:30 that night, just in time for open mic night at the club. She fluffed her blonde hair in the mirror, redid her lips with her Kylie liquid lipstick - she honestly hated how much she loved her products. Wiping away the run down mascara and reapplying her foundation gave her the confidence boost she needed.

“I am a fucking force to be reckoned with.” Courtney told herself as she pursed her lips in the mirror, checking all angles of her face to make sure the makeup didn’t run anymore.

I’m fucking hot, I shouldn’t be crying over a girl who doesn’t like me, Courtney thought. She sprayed her Urban Decay setting spray across her face, before closing the mirror on her car window visor.

This was a little crazy, even for her. Who just decides to drive 4 hours to another city in the middle of the night? She snapped a picture of herself in the car for Snapchat, making sure the Indianapolis geotag was underneath her selfie as she published it to her story.

They could all eat her heart out.

Finally satisfied, (and high on adrenaline) Courtney stepped out of the car, and strutted down the busy street towards the club entrance. It was an hour later in Indie then it was in Chicago, so the 12:30 am clock confused her at first until she realized the time difference.

As she flashed her ID to the bouncer, she spotted a very attractive looking blonde a couple of feet ahead of her. Right on cue, the blonde made eye contact with her as she gave her a once over. Courtney bit her lip, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, as the other girl eyed her hungrily, thirsting for the attention.

The girl was beautiful, dressed in a sheer crop top and leather shorts. She had a long torso, and a sparkly belly button ring dangled against her navel as she laughed at something one of her friends nearby said. Her eyes made her way back to Courtney, clearly delighted with the sight as she scanned her body as well. Courtney’s heart fluttered, a warmth reappearing to her face as she let the girls eyes linger.

Finally, she got fed up with the eye fucking, and wanted to see more of this girl. ASAP. Courtney cleared her throat, and confidently strolled over to the blonde and her friends. For the first time in months, here she was not caring about commitments or relationships. Just wanting to have some fun in a city far away from all of that.

Sometimes it was good to be a little self indulgent.

#simplicité #biadore #farradore #multi chap

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flirting-with-psychology · 8 years ago

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1. If you could pick one person to fall in love with you, who would you pick?: My crush Cadence. But I wouldn’t want him falling in love with me to be the result of me picking him to, I would want him to do it on his own

2. Ever had a run in with the police? How did that go?: I made out with a campus cop once 3. Name three things you want to do before you kick the bucket.: Sing a duet with a boyfriend, have a boyfriend, use a 3D printer 4. Do you think Trump will be assassinated, or will he survive his term?: I think he’ll survive

5. Last time you felt suicidal?: Briefly the other night when in a fight with my mom, but I knew it would pass

6. Do you think we’ll have another ice age?: Maybe 7. Last time you had butterflies?: When my mom wanted me to knock on the door of a director’s trailer on a film shoot 8. If you could be any animal for a day, what would you chose?: A cat 9. Who is one person who always understands you, no matter what?: I don’t think there is anyone out there who ALWAYS understands me, no matter what. Not even myself. <<< Same 10. What time is it?: 11:38 pm 11. Who always keeps you on your toes?: Guys I like 12. Biggest asshole you know?: My ex-coworker 13. What color skin do you have? Do you tan or anything?: White but I tan easily 14. Ever wrote a really sick poem/song about someone or something?: Yeah 15. If you were a god, what are some of the things you’d do?: Probably just make random crap 16. Who is a lot like you?: Gatsby 17. Ever used that sunscreen that turned your skin purple or green or whatever?: No... 18. Where would you like to live after you move out?: An apartment in my school’s city, for now 19. What’s one thing that’s stressing you out right now?: Finding a job 20. Do you think you’d survive in the army?: No way 21. When was the last time you really got under someone’s skin?: Some spats with my mom on our trip 22. How’s your heart lately?: Lonely, I want to be with a guy I really like but he said he’s not ready to date so now I’m playing the waiting game when I should be playing the moving on game 23. What’s one thing someone told you they’d do but they never owned up to?: One of my friends still owes me money 24. Last person to take your breath away? The flight attendant on the plane home 25. Do you think everyone has an unavoidable destiny, or do we decide our own future through choices?: I don’t believe in destiny 26. When will be/was your eighteenth birthday?: Like 4 and a half years ago 27. Are you Christian?: No 28. Last time you parted ways from someone (either a break-up or stopped talking to someone)?: I graduated in may so I probably won’t see a bunch of my classmates again 29. Last time you gave/received a blowjob?: May 30. Do you prefer to settle things peacefully, or do you think war is necessary?: I prefer peace 31. Last time you had sex?: May 32. Spit or swallow?: I haven’t done either 33. What’s one thing you dislike about your physical appearance?: Too chubby 34. Ever dated someone overly clingy?: No, I’m the clingy one 35. Did you ever believe that your heart was really heart shaped?: I’m sure I did when I was a kid 36. Ever been stabbed? Whether it was by a knife or something else?: I stabbed myself with a pencil once 37. Ever placed a “kick me” sign on someone’s back, or had it done to you?: No, I’m sure I was more creative than that 38. Do you know anyone who is currently battling cancer?: Possibly 39. Do you believe in a higher power?: No 40. Do you have an open heart or are you careful of who you let in?: Both?? 41. Do you hate anyone?: Not really 42. What’s one scary nightmare you had when you were little?: This double hook would come out of my ceiling and try to stab me 43. Last person you wrote a song/poem about?: Captain was the most recent one I published, not sure if i tried to write anything else since then 44. Ever did “sexual things” at a public place, like a playground?: I kind of did at a pool in Italy but it wasn’t overly sexual, just making out 45. Last time you did something you really didn’t want to do?: Had to clear leaves out of a spidery area in my yard 46. Who has changed your life for the better during the past year?: My friend Zach who helped me a lot with my film 47. Do you know anyone in a wheelchair?: Not well but I know of some people 48. Did you ever leave someone because you know you’d hurt them?: No, but there are people I haven’t tried to start anything with because I know that if I decided it wasn’t for me then it would probably hurt them 49. Last thing you bought?: A keychain 50. Were you a planned child?: Yes

#survey

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ntrending · 6 years ago

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Artificial intelligence could help farmers water only the thirsty plants

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/artificial-intelligence-could-help-farmers-water-only-the-thirsty-plants/

Artificial intelligence could help farmers water only the thirsty plants

A robot. (Pixabay/)

Wine growers have a neat, if unusual, trick for making more flavorful wine — don’t water the vines. Let the vines go dry right before harvest, and they will yield smaller grapes with more skin and less juice. Smaller grapes produce wine with a deeper color and more complex flavor.

Trinchero Family Estates in Napa Valley, California wanted to make sure it was watering its grapes just the right amount, so they worked with Ceres Imaging to map their fields. Ceres used drones to capture color, thermal, and infrared images of the vineyard, and they used artificial intelligence to analyze those images to see if the wine producer was overwatering its grapes.

It turns out that, in parts of the vineyard, Trinchero was. Their wine experts found that areas that got too much water had also produced slightly less flavorful grapes. The company now uses the imaging technology to make sure it isn’t watering their vines too much or too little, and to find leaks in the irrigation system.

This technology represents the cutting-edge of agriculture. High-tech firms like Ceres, Prospera, Farmers Edge and the Climate Corporation are using artificial intelligence to help famers decide when to plant, water, spray and harvest their crops. As climate change worsens rainstorms in the Midwest and exacerbates drought in California, the technology could also help growers navigate more severe and volatile weather.

A vineyard. (Pixabay/)

“Today’s irrigation delivers the same amount of water to all the plants in a field, even though each plant will retain water differently,” says Daniel Koppel, CEO of Prospera, which (among other things) analyzes images taken by cameras mounted on movable sprinkler systems. “Also, the amount of water a plant needs depends on the age and size of the plant, whether it has fruit on it or just flowers, et cetera”

Firms can use thermal imaging, for example, to see if crops are getting enough water. Thirsty crops tend to be a little warmer than others. That’s because, normally, plants release some of the water they soak up through their roots out through tiny pores on the underside of their leaves. When that water evaporates, it cools off the plant, just as sweating cools off humans. Thirsty plants, however, close off these pores to avoid losing water, which leaves them a little warmer. If farmers can identify precisely which plants are parched, they only need to irrigate those crops, which helps them save water, which will become harder to come by as climate change fuels longer and more severe droughts.

A Prospera scientist working with a camera mounted on a movable sprinkler system. (Prospera/)

Firms are collecting images from cameras mounted to sprinkler systems, drones, planes, and satellites, and are using computers to analyze those images to identify which crops are besieged by caterpillars, surrounded by weeds, or covered in fungus. Computers then tell growers to spray those plants — and only those plants — with insecticide, herbicide or fungicide.

This helps growers use less water and fewer chemicals, which saves money and keeps farms healthy. Using less insecticide, for example, helps preserve honeybees, which are needed to pollinate many crops. Using less synthetic fertilizer can cut down on pollution. Fertilizer on farms tends to make its way into waterways and, eventually, the ocean, where it devastates sea life. Koppel says that Prospera’s technology has allowed greenhouse growers to use 30 percent less fertilizer and water.

Aerial imagining shows which crops need water or nutrients. (Ceres Imaging/)

The hard part is getting computers to determine when crops are sick, injured, or thirsty. So firms have developed systems that can learn to interpret images, growing smarter over time. Those systems also combine information gleaned from images with data on temperature, rainfall, soil quality, and other variables to determine when and how much to spray and water crops.

Does this count as artificial intelligence? “If you would ask that with three of our computer science PhDs in the room, you probably wouldn’t get out for a day or two,” Koppel says. He contends that Prospera’s system qualifies as AI given that it is constantly learning on its own. “You’re using machines to continuously figure out what’s going in the field based on imagery,” he says. “Also, the machine is synthesizing data to make decisions.”

Koppel believes that artificial intelligence will usher in the next great agricultural revolution. Previous technological advances — irrigation, mechanization, synthetic fertilizers, genetic engineering — have allowed humans to grow more food with less work. He says that artificial intelligence is going to allow growers to be even more efficient by taking the guesswork out of farming.

Caterpillar damage (left) and wilting (right) as detected by a computer. (Prospera/)

“Typically, a farmer will either make a decision based on intuition — which is not data — or he will feel the ground,” he says. But rather than rely on intuition, Koppel says it would be better to use computers to analyze images of every inch of the farm. Those computers could recommend decisions based on data they have collected from farms all across the world — a grower in Mexico might benefit from data collected on a farm in Israel.

Koppel says that computers can fill in farmers’ blind spots, likening farmers to doctors, who are prone to making mistakes. “I really don’t like to go to the doctor,” he says. “I would prefer having a machine that is unbiased. You know, a doctor maybe saw a few thousand people, and the machine has seen hundreds of millions of people. And the doctor doesn’t remember everything he studied in university, and the machine knows everything all the time.”

In the future, we could see robots that can tell when a strawberry is ripe and pluck it gingerly from the plant, or droids that can find weeds and spray them, or machines that can determine when and how much to feed dairy cows. However, while AI holds incredible promise for farms, it also threatens to be massively disruptive, especially at a time when many farmers are returning to more traditional growing methods.

The Dino large-scale weeder. (Naïo/)

“Some farmers might not wish to make the transition, either lacking the skills to flourish in a more techno-centric system or the motivation,” says David Rose, an environmental geographer at the University of East Anglia who has written about the future of farming. “Some farmers might not consider the use of AI to be compatible with their lifestyle, preferring instead to use their experiential knowledge and be closely connected to their land.”

He says that autonomous robots could threaten the safety of workers and animals, and could also put a lot of people out of a job. Heavy reliance AI could also sever farmers’ connection to the land. That’s the future depicted in this John Deere commercial, which Rose described as “chilling.”

“I am not saying that we should not embrace AI in agri-tech. It definitely has the potential to improve decision-making, help us cut through data, improve efficient spraying, automate manual or laborious jobs, attract younger, more technical workers to the industry, and increase profitability. But almost no one is talking about the societal and ethical implications of AI on-farm,” he says.

“What does the world look like in which AI is used routinely on-farm? How is that different to now?” he asks. “And how do we look after the potential losers of the tech revolution as well as the winners? I think if we just start thinking about those questions and accepting that, in a democracy, technology trajectories should be open to challenge, then this is a good thing.”

Jeremy Deaton writes for Nexus Media, a syndicated newswire covering climate, energy, policy, art and culture. You can follow him @deaton_jeremy.

Written By Jeremy Deaton

#Space

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itsyourturnblog · 6 years ago

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I didn’t know this kid (and by “kid” I mean someone between the ages of 20 and 30). He was big, though — probably 240 pounds. And he’s throwing punches as hard as he can just inches from my face.

I’ve trained in a boxing gym for nearly ten years, but you wouldn’t guess that’s how I spend my time if you met me at a dinner party. You might think “Junior League” before you’d think “featherweight.” But I love the spirit of this kind of training as much as the strength and discipline. I’m decent at it, and my coach lets me teach a loud, seriously hard 90-minute class we named “Gloves, Sweat, and Tears.” It’s amazing to be around these people. They have a different quality: nobody boxes just to cross “workout” off the to-do list.

photos courtesy of ellida photo

People of all ability levels come to the class. I’d seen this kid around, but didn’t know his name and hadn’t seen what he could do. So when he wanted to work in, it was a bit of a wildcard. It means, basically, that I’ll hold up mitts on either side of my head for him to throw punches into. A lot of people would consider this unsafe. If he has sloppy aim — or a temper — I’m in trouble.

Especially if you’re not a boxer, you might call this “courageous.”

Courage is this month’s theme for the journal I’ve been keeping lately from Silk + Sonder. There’s a page to record your bold, courageous actions each day. For that particular Thursday, I thought “Perfect! Courage! Check!”

I already think of myself as a mostly brave and mostly strong person. In fact, if that journal page was a list of years rather than days, I could do a fair job of recording acts of courage not just recently but over the course of my life.

2018: I left my research career of 19 years for something totally new. 2017: I finally started the book I’d dreamed of writing. 2016: I helped my mom navigate dying from breast cancer with dignity. 2005: I rode 150 miles in my first 2-day MS bike tour. 1994: I moved away from my hometown to find my dream job. 1985: I stopped shaking long enough to give a first place oratory at the Bull Creek Classic debate tournament. 1973: Since having crushes wasn’t allowed, I told my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Miller that John Kaldenburg was my very, very, very best friend. (I’m not sure I ever told him, though.)

While I’m sure they felt that way then, these things don’t seem courageous to me now. They seem pretty normal. At each point, I was a different person, and my definition of courageous has evolved, too.

Looking at the next day’s journal spot, I wanted to be more honest with myself. I think working with this unknown kid fell complacently into what the world might call courageous, but it’s not like I had to look any vulnerability in the eye to do this. There was no fear to overcome and, to me, that’s part of “courageous.” And, to be clear, we’re not talking about Courageous like the hero who risks everything for a greater cause. This is small-c courageous. What could ordinary Me do on a typical day that requires bravery and strength?

What feels scary right now? And what could happen TODAY that you know you want to do — that you believe in — that requires honest courage?

My mind wouldn’t have wandered in this direction without a nudge from that journal. It caught me off guard. But here’s what I landed on, and after not too much time, actually: going to work without makeup. THAT’S what I didn’t think I could do. Too scary. Of all the bold, courageous things possible for that day, nothing felt scarier than that.

Silk + Sonder

Not unlike many other people, I’ve spent a lot of time wearing that figurative “mask” you read about in self-help books. Perhaps to some extent because I’m a woman, I believed that looking the part at the office was non-negotiable. I wore the makeup and the pointy shoes and the suit jacket that felt too tight in the shoulders. I paid for dry cleaning. I bought expensive clothes for work that I’d never wear to meet a friend for dinner. That was a different Cheryl. The real Cheryl wouldn’t wear those pointy shoes to walk to the garage and back. They hurt like hell. The appearance mask, though, was part of a bigger one — one that hid my spirit — and one that I wore for years.

Now that I’m 50, I feel more pressure than ever to look like someone who’s “trying.”

People say “at least she’s trying” if she wears makeup, or a piece of currently-cool clothing that doesn’t fit her body type. “At least she’s trying.”

What I want to know is trying to do what? Be attractive? What does that mean? Or to buy personal worth with a handbag or a haircut? To me, makeup is just one example of how fully I’d accepted the message I heard from the world: “Sorry, but who you honestly are today isn’t good enough.”

Over the years, I’ve shed a lot of that mask. Now I spend more time doing things I like (especially boxing) with people I like (even ones who don’t like boxing). I don’t hide my sense of humor or my intelligence or my opinions. Today more than ever, what you see is what you get.

So why not show my face?

Here’s what I’m actually doing: Drinking enough water and staying out of the sun. Eating real food. Buying skin care products with ingredients that I could explain to a seven-year-old. I even get enough sleep…sometimes. I work my you-know-what off at the gym and have embraced yoga even though it doesn’t make me sweat. I laugh and have honest new experiences every day. I learn, and I practice being thankful for all that I have, which is more than enough.

So I decided to let my real face be enough, too. I went to my part-time retail job without makeup just as though I lived in a world where cared-for skin on your face was enough.

I panicked driving there, thinking this was a big mistake. I had that same awful feeling as being a kid when you had to wear something embarrassing to school. But it only lasted a minute and it was gone before I walked into this store that I love. I felt the same joy of being there, and I had the same light-hearted exchanges with coworkers and customers. Not one person asked me if I was sick. Nobody did a double-take because I was so shockingly unattractive. I felt beautiful, actually, because I’d given myself a clay mask that morning (the literal kind that gets easily rinsed away) and my skin felt amazing.

I was being me, doing what felt right to me. And it was enough.

I’ll confess that I didn’t realize this was happening on International Women’s Day, but my therapist friend would say that the unconscious mind is always on duty. What does it mean that after all I’ve done for all these years to unmask myself that still I’m afraid to show my real face to the world? Is it really that hard for me to trust that people I know — or don’t know — won’t reject or dismiss me before I even speak? I don’t judge people that way. Do I?

Was this a positive experience because it happened within a pocket of people who share my values? No. Maybe we see the world in a similar way, but that’s different than how we feel about the world seeing us. This mattered because I let myself be seen by definitely-made-up and mostly-younger-than-me others. It was my small way not just to say, but to show them, “You know, you can choose differently. And not just the makeup part, Young Women With Your Whole Lives Ahead of You. Be seen. The real unmasked you. It may not be easy today, but I hope that when you’re 50, you too will look back on the ‘just being yourself’ choices and say they don’t seem all that courageous.”

What’s Scarier to Me Than Getting Hit in the Face was originally published in It's Your Turn on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

by Cheryl K. Johnson via It's Your Turn - Medium #itsyourturn #altMBA #SethGodin #quotes #inspiration #stories #change #transformation #writers #writing #self #shipping #personaldevelopment #growth #education #marketing #entrepreneurship #leadership #personaldev #wellness #medium #blogging #quoteoftheday #inspirationoftheday

#ItsYourTurn #It's Your Turn #IYT #altMBA #Seth Godin #Inspiration #Stories #Change #Transformation #Blog #Medi

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marisolleffler · 7 years ago

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I Channeled Kendall Jenner - and Went Braless at Work

I hopped off the bus in Times Square and started to walk toward the office. That's when he saw me. He shook his head back and forth slowly as he stared down at my chest. "Why do you do that?" the man moaned loudly. Yes, seriously. I sped up into a walk-run, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.

I was wearing a sleeveless turtleneck in a fuzzy mustard-colored material so as to distract from my nipples as much as possible. Clearly, it wasn't really working. Plus, a bathroom selfie I had taken in the mirror that morning confirmed it was definitely easy to make out the shape of my boobs. But when I left the house, I had been comfortable. There were no bra straps to slip off my shoulders or underwire to adjust when it dug into my skin. Honestly, I kind of liked the look. I thought my outfit - the aforementioned turtleneck plus a denim skirt with a pair of sneakers - appeared effortless. I added a pair of gold hoop earrings too, which said "polished," but my nipples were just like "whatever." "Is this how it feels to dress like a French girl?" I wondered.

But you should know the reason I decided to ditch a bra in the first place. During a brainstorm with my coworkers, I came up with the idea as an "editor experiment" based on the fact that Kendall Jenner has been all about wearing sheer tops that expose her nipple ring and supermodel sisters Bella and Gigi Hadid have followed suit. (The Hadid sisters don't have nipple rings, but they do have nipples.) And even though these ladies are more well-endowed than I am, they seem very nonchalant about going braless. When I look at their street style shots, I want to put on an outfit that appears to be so easy. "So who's going to try it?" I challenged, looking around the room during our meeting. "Why don't you do it?" someone said. Right. I had unknowingly volunteered myself to go braless, and at that point, I couldn't turn back.

So there I was the next day in a black button-down cardigan - one I usually wear with my Victoria's Secret Bombshell push-up bra. But on this day, there was more of just a sag situation going on. I styled my sweater with cropped high-waisted denim, pointed-toe flats, and artsy earrings I always get compliments on. I wasn't trying to distract from my breasts, but I was, perhaps, trying to channel Audrey Hepburn.

"I can totally tell you're not wearing a bra," my mom blurted out at dinner on this night, as we sat around the table with my cousin who was visiting, my boyfriend (who probably doesn't love that I'm writing a Tale of Two Titties to be posted online), my sister, my grandma (who doesn't even remember where she keeps her bras or what they're for), and, oh yeah, my dad. "Yes, I guess that's the point." I said, again feeling sort of uncomfortable that everyone was now staring at my chest. We're a supercasual family, so it's not like this was such a big deal. But I guess I was surprised by how often people were taking note - even when I was wearing black.

I took a final stance on going braless when the weekend came, and I was able to style my "going out" outfits more easily. Since a night out to dinner with Bae called for a pretty little sundress with complicated bow straps, it felt like such a relief not to have to worry about the placement of stick-on boobs, or as some girls call them, "chicken cutlets." There was zero panic about those guys peeking out from the sides or the top of my dress, and no chance of them slipping down when I started to sweat (partly because it's Summer and partly because the Cioppino sauce was supposed to be spicy).

Related: I Haven't Worn a Real Bra in 4 Months - and I'm Never Going Back

Later that night, I changed into a floral tube top that cinches into a bow at the front and would absolutely have revealed all different smidgens of my bra or bralette if I had attempted to wear one. I threw on the flirty top with cutoffs and sandals and danced the night away. It felt so easy! "This is it! I am French!" I thought to myself as I kicked it to "Despacito" at the bar. Some of the people I am friends with and spend time with on the weekend did notice I wasn't wearing a bra. Jokingly, they called me names like "Titties McGee," which felt a little bit demeaning to me, but in their defense, I told them all about my experiment, and they were very supportive.

All in all, going braless is far less manageable at the workplace. I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when I was sitting in meetings with the AC blasting and my nipples were the most excited things in the room. But going braless on the weekend? Now that I can get behind - I even think it looks more elegant to make the move with a fancy gown at a wedding. Because really, messing around with boob tape is never fun, and it can cause wardrobe malfunctions and straight-up inconvenience when you're just trying to enjoy the shrimp cocktail instead of having to run to the bathroom every five minutes.

That said, going braless isn't for everyone. There are women who truly need the support of a bra on an everyday basis, and luckily for them, the look is definitely more sleek, polished, and clean. Nevertheless, I don't mind a good fashion experiment every now and then. I could have done without the 8:30 a.m. comments from the man who interrupted my walk to work, but it did help me to draw conclusions about how I felt without a bra on. I do think going a full week without one helped me feel more confident in my own skin.

Not that bra size is of much importance to me, but as a 32A, I wouldn't mind being, like, one cup size bigger. It'd be nice to fill out a bodyhugging top with a plunging neckline, instead of swimming in the material or having to secure a safety pin behind my neck to hold things in place. And I'd love to wear one of those retro-style swimsuits with a half-moon cup and underwire that provides lift. Unfortunately, I don't really have much of anything to "lift." Even so, my boobs became more visible to me during the week I went braless. As soon as I took off my shirt at the end of the day, there they were!

I discovered the natural shape of my boobs, too, because I was always staring right at them when I looked in the mirror. It turns out my boobs aren't perfect minicircles, as they appear to be when I'm wearing a bra. Without a bra, I had to support my own breasts, and I did this by wearing my head high and shrugging off the double takes and widened eyes of the people I passed on the street. I did this by paying attention to my posture. Instead of slouching, I stood up straight. Instead of hunching over at my desk, I perked my head up and rolled my shoulders back. The whole week was a sort of lesson in poise for me, and I'm proud of myself for sticking through it. I'm proud of my boobs, too.

I Channeled Kendall Jenner - and Went Braless at Work published first on http://wholesalescarvescity.blogspot.com

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