#and if we don't. then. ouch
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see my issue with tv theory being true is that there's also like. 70 other things we need to resolve by the end of the next episode (imo)
why was susan twist appearing everywhere? what's the deal with ruby's mother, to whatever extent that will get answered? why was the master vainglorious playing (unless that was just a bad call and rtd/murray thought we just wouldnt think that hard about it? like it was weeping angel theme for zygon statues sort of deal? or it was some sort of bait?)? who is mrs flood? why was there so much susan foreman stuff going on (unless that was also purely a bait)? WHAT IS SUTEKH'S ACTUAL PLAN DURING THE EPISODE THERE ALSO NEEDS TO BE A MAIN PLOT
and then there's things from the trailer. where is this desolate wasteland? how do we get in the (ostensibly) real TARDIS? how do we get there and at a point where ruby and 15 are just like. preparing? on top of being in the memory TARDIS at one point?
do we have time for all of that and for a tv reveal? because that's going to require some Time
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#nyx also wrote this with me lol#sorry folks we're dooming so hard tonight#like everyone (and by everyone i mean rowan LOL) is right there is a lot of tv and film and vhs imagery and such#but we have 45 minutes to do a Lot of stuff#someone snap us out of it are we just dooming like crazy 😭#and like. if tv theory is real but it doesn't get revealed now#it gets impossible to ignore the writing of this season#like i am ALREADY going to have thinking to do about this season if we *do* get the reveal#and if we don't. then. ouch#there's definitely a world where all or most of this happens though#but on paper it feels like a looooot#maybe some of these will overlap in ways i just really don't expect
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have you put the pieces together yet, detective
#goro akechi#akechi goro#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5 akechi#p5 spoilers#persona 5 fanart#jesst some art#i may have worked on this for... just under two weeks? i had like. so many fckgin thoughts i might make a process/concept breakdown post#it's honestly just for my own peace (haha piece) of mind because i overthought about. SosoooOoOo many motifs and symbols and i just wanna#idk PUT EM ALL somewhere........ maybe it'll become its own jessay of mine. god. who can say.#also DUDE tumblr rly does crunch up quality wow ouch#unironically a core thematic inspiration for this piece is a quote from the folding ideas' video 'the nostalgia critic and the wall'#'it doesn't all make sense or resolve or coalesce because we don't all make sense'#'everyone is the illusion of order constructed brick by brick out of chaos'#i've watched that video essay through at least. a dozen times at this point. everything about it. yeah. it's good.#this piece initially went many different directions and i have realized ah yes to fully explore just THESE themes that i'm interested in as#they relate to goro akechi i will need to draw. at least two more pieces. sdlfhsdlkfjsd
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Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...
#sorry.... I just... give me a minute to process... I mean I knew we were close in age but I guess I never really thought about it#sometimes I forget it happened all the way back in 2021 and just... wow.#and Tommy would have been 16 so getting his driver's license in most states... The age gap is like that of my siblings and huh...#my brother can be a real prick... its a weird thought to imagine him getting through in prison just for messing with us... damn...#dreblr#c!dream#this is fine#don't mind me researching for my lastest maddening project..... i can't stop thinking about Dream being Sam's project.......#I'd blame my job but... let's be honest the prison arc lives rent free in my brain lol XD#dsmp#dsmp dream#dream smp#dreamwastaken#no one does it like c!dream#prison arc#pandora's vault#dishing up lore#kinda? I guess...#lore thoughts#ouch... I'm older than c!dream was in prison now... poor baby... :'(
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Thinking about megafauna and crying
#what do you mean the trees don't even know they're gone#WHAT DO YOU MEAN#ouch my heart#its#OH MY GOD PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW WE ARE SO INCONSEQUENTIAL IN THE HISTORY IF THE EARTH#A MERE BLIP IN TIME#MAYBE 300000 YEARS IF WE R BEING GENEROUS#BUT THAT IS NOTHING#NOTHING#honestly what the flip flop#nd we casually killed the mfing megafauna#so pissed#yapping the days away
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"By her loving grace and providence, may we take our place in paradise."
The Cetra Story (Ever Crisis FF7) (SPOILER)
#not gonna lie#seeing them all (minus Cid ouch) floating in the lifestream made me a little teary eyed#we don't know how part 3 will end#but we do know all things do come to an end#And eventually everyone must RETURN to the Lifestream#Including Vincent#vincent valentine#final fantasy 7#ff7#ff7 ever crisis#ff7 ever crisis spoiler
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17. What makes you insecure about your own writing? ur turn
Real Talk, that I am not giving enough or too much details. That I am going to annoy them by sending too many asks or memes. There is no inbetween for me as I teeter this back and forth when I post back to someone. I love giving them a lot so that who ever is reading it, can visually see it in their mind since that is what I do. Then an old wound always opens up and I sit there rereading my post a few times before I send it.
A partner and close friend on another writing form told me that the reason our threads sat for months was because I was too exhausting. Too many character feels and deep evens, too many words, and they had to really sit down and think about each post to me so it is easier to just post to others who are less layered. I never expect my partners to write like me, we all have different styles and so long as people are interactiong with my character, I am into it, excited to be getting a post. I also had a few people tell me they did not feel like their posts were good enough so they just fade away from interacting and that made me so fucking disheartened for a bit. It stuck with me though because I don't want to set off someone's anxiety in their hobby so now I worry often times I might which can make me say weird shit like a ramble to down play my writing.
Sadly, it feeds into me wondering if I am too extra of a writer because I want to send photos, songs, gifs, and any other muse inspo to those who ship with me and I kind of am chill a first until the other person opens that flood gate.
#out of muse ++ ``if we being real....#++ Ouch bitch! xD#++ Don't worry peeps I'm working on it here
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#rings of power spoilers#trop spoilers#rings of power memes#trop memes#rings of power#trop#memes#eärien#we love character development#but OUCH#i don't think this will go well for her
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what if they were an ultimate frisbee team
#em draws stuff#em is posting about sharpe#sharpe#rifleman harris#daniel hagman#richard sharpe#patrick harper#francis cooper#ben perkins#south essex quirky#<- organizational tag for frisbee au things#see it is Funny because jason salkey was an ultimate frisbee player before he was an actor. also I just think the men should frisb.#<- not a real verb#'look if the terror fandom has terrebus fc then we can have this' says local man who knows very little at all about ultimate frisbee#but also I have noticed that Multiple acquaintances have acquired concussions playing this sport In The Last Week Alone#and thus I deem it Sharpe-Appropriate in its capacity for Causing Grievous Harm and Encouraging the Wearing of Cool Shades In October#so you see. this took me TEN DAYS and ouch ouch ow this is why I don't do group portraits that often#the height differences are Wrong here I am pretty sure but I have almost no conception of how tall any of them are. and I'm tired.#also the designing of their silly little outfits y'know#I do recommend opening up this image Large because tumblr crunches all my little details something awful#sailorpants saw this while I was still drawing it and said they looked like an 'assorted pack of lesbians' and really they're not wrong#other things to note about this au that we've decided: cooper still does crimes and harris has a podcast#stay tuned whilst I figure out how to make custom frisbees so that I can a) design them a cooler one and b) make them into real items#manufacturers I have looked at thus far have either been Suspicious or have required Large minimum orders#but hey if there are 47 people out there wanting a strange frisbee...
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i wish i didn't get so attached to people online because i anyone i interact with is automatically a friend in my head
#and now i just don't have that#i know i'm the one who disappeared but like. ouch#of course i have my jiji but she's very sick and busy so we don't get to talk much now#i wanted to stay in contact with people but even someone i thought was a legit FRIEND has ghosted now#and others apparently didn't know i was leaving until i was already gone and they don't have tumblr so#i don't get lonely often. i think i'm just having a Time#chewy ramblings
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I'm actually regaining some sensation around the nipple grafts already! UNfortunately, the sensation in question is. Chafing.
#oof ouch ouchie argh#hi there nerves I'm super glad you're alive and all but could we. cool it. for a minute here#i don't actually need to know all that
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4, 20, 23, 32 for Ankh! :3
Hi!!!! Thank you so much ;u;
I had a good laugh when I saw what 23 was about after I've replied to 20 lol
4 - Was there anything in their life they were looking forwards to doing once the Conclave was done?
I never thought about it! This is super interesting!
She was very eager to leave her clan, honestly, I don't think she would have gotten back home immediately.
I think she was looking forward to the Conclave itself, mostly, and to listening to various perspectives outside her dalish bubble. She does have a back-up plan involving a trip to Brecilian to visit some of her hunter friends, but nothing bigger than that.
20 - What does the Inquisitor think about Hawke?
They like each other a lot, but she thinks he tends to be too preachy, borderline intrusive sometimes. When he starts a conversation with "I'm worried about-", she has to take a deep breath and count to 10, because there's a good chance that he would release an unsolicited opinion on her personal life.
Also, there's a moment in which she grows very frustrated of his big personality. He's capable of earning the trust of anyone in a matter of seconds because he's charismatic, she has to work for it.
But these are like, small annoyances for her. They're friends, and perfection doesn't exist.
23 - Who gets left behind in the Fade? What led to the Inquisitor making that decision? Do they feel bad or regret doing it?
Hawke gets left behind in the Fade, both out of strategy and him having (in her opinion) the best tools to survive that scenario intact.
He and Alistair are both good friends of hers, a decision like that had to be played strategically rather than "who do you love the most?". She loves both the most, but again, Hawke is the most resourceful.
Which is an excuse she tells herself to live in peace with the consequences of her actions. It was deliberate, she knows it, and she will never forget that in that moment she betrayed a better person that she'd ever been.
32 - Does the Inquisitor run after Samson/Calpernia or do they go through the rituals? If so, do they team up with the ancient elves?
Went through the rituals, knowing that it was a gamble. Canonically she aces the puzzles in less than ten minutes, despite Solas dissing her gods in the background and Cassandra cosplaying as a teapot.
In truth I think I've spent 20 minutes alone on the second puzzle lol I'm not as intelligent as her
She teamed up with the ancient elves, ready to protect the well at all costs. The fact that she could connect with her history in a moment so urgent for the present day was highly upsetting, to say the least.
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Questions for the Inquisitor
#questions for the inquisitor#ask game#ankh#kerry#'aw they're frien-' *gets slapped by here lies the abyss*#ouch? hahahha#she chose the wardens. she's at peace with that part of the decision at least#I love the writing of here lies the abyss. until that moment and beyond. it's shock value pure and simple#I'm number one hater of hawke vs warden lol#also I don't think alistair wouldn't be as resourceful as hawke in a situation like that. he's a warden and a sword and shield warrior#he's used to being surrounded / cornered / overwhelmed#and long trips alone have surely increased his survival skills#if we were talking about king alistair yeah he wouldn't stand a chance. but warden alistair? he's just fine#throwing rocks at the lake as he think of solutions#ankh evaluates what she's perceived in just a few months after she met them and hawke is clearly a provider like her#but she didn't offer to sacrifice in his place as a real provider would do :)))))))#(ask me why I like to write about her the most lmao she's a mess)
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just discovered that I seem to have been kicked from a server I spent more or less a decade building? like I was the founding member. must've happened overnight, cause I was looking at it just yesterday.
I've been relatively inactive for the last year or so because I decided I could no longer casually interact with someone who used to be my best friend, but I did still have other friends in there and I would occasionally check in on them through the server. we'd also never kicked anyone for inactivity like this before; people have been inactive for years that we kept around in case they wanted to come say hi.
really I'm just confused about who made this decision/when or how it was made, why nobody bothered to message me about it? ten years and some of the most important connections of my life. these people kept me alive when I first moved out of home. and I'm just kicked without warning? what did I fucking do?
#we survived the transfer from skype to discord for this?#i know some of y'all still follow me. if you see this I'd love to know if like... you knew i was getting kicked?#like what's going on I'm just fucking confused#i don't want an invite back in that bridge seems thoroughly burned by now#i just want to know why i woke up to a fucking gut punch#this really hurts.#and i do miss most of you.#i went inactive because i couldn't say anything in there without criticism from i****o#just no positive interactions with them after a certain point#became very dismissive of other peoples' experiences imo#and i couldn't be around that#but i was still checking in and i always miss what used to be#and i made a point not to shit talk where their other friends could see it#and i just don't know what i did that prompted being kicked out from a server that doesn't kick fucking anyone#especially when it was MY server. tbh.#idk. fucking ouch.#the system speaks
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i'm back on my bullshit (aka more last binding prompts): #2 for maud and jack
It's not an easy anniversary, which is something Jack intimately understands. Each time it rolls around, he makes a point of extending the same courtesies to Robin and Maud that he always appreciates people extending to him about Elsie. Act like it's a normal day. Make a point of spending time in the same space, doing nice, quiet, engagingly idle tasks. Give the grief room to live, but not enough room to fester.
It's a little easier this year because Robin and Edwin are out of town at a conference, so Jack's attention can go solely to the younger of the two. When he walks through the front door of the old Blythe residence, a few minutes early for four o'clock tea, she's not in the library.
Unperturbed, he ghosts his way along the baseboards to the smallest sitting room. Maud perches in an armchair beneath the Sargent-painted portrait of her mother, her legs crossed and a book in her hands. From the look in her eyes, she hasn't really read a word of it.
"Am I too early?" he says, playing at nonchalance.
Apparently, he didn't creak the door loudly enough to announce his presence. When Maud starts and looks up at him, her eyes are misty. He's not sure if the tears are grief or fury. Perhaps a bit of both.
"Damn it," she says. "Oh, I lost track of time. Fuck. I completely forgot."
"Watch your language, Maud," Jack mutters. "You'll get some comments outside, if you carry on like that."
Immediately, half of his thoughts insist that sarcasm and biting comments are not the right move towards a young woman who's still processing the loss of her parents. The other half of his thoughts is proven correct when Maud laughs, the reprimand pulling a half-smile out of her, mischievous and contrary. It's only there for a second, but still. That's something, at the very least.
"Well, the world can go fuck itself too," she says breezily, snapping the book shut and tossing it to the floor. She swishes past Jack and out into the hallway, making a beeline for the dining room. "We'll have to make do with yesterday's leftovers, Lord Hawthorne. I'm sure you won't mind."
"Not at all," Jack says, when what he's really thinking is you're too young to hate the world. It's not like he has any grounds to make such a claim. He's been exactly as furious at everyone and everything for almost as long as Maud has. Loss will do that to you, no matter who the people were. "Lead the way."
#this post brought to you by me skimming the first few chapters of a marvellous light and remembering that despite how much we don't like#the blythe parents#(which. fuck the blythe parents. to be clear. from what we know of them.)#robin and maud ARE in mourning technically for most of the series. ouch!#jade writes#jade posts#fic#the last binding#ask#cactusnymph
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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Not to be dramatic but I literally cannot look at my One Direction albums or listen to their music at all lol like it nearly makes my stomach turn. They were such a big part of my teen-hood and like I did not expect one of them to die so young and it's just so surreal and reminds you that time is literally not on your side and anything can happen and that makes it all the more depressing lmao
#please don't judge those who are mouring this loss to any degree bc that's not cool lol#and i was not in to them for the last several years as i met my husband and we started a family etc#but they were such a big part of my younger self's life for so long before that#and it's just like#OUCH#you know?#anyway#one direction
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does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow
#so to recap what we all know if we're following the Angela is Sickly series#i can't eat tree nuts. i can't eat trail mix that has come in contact with tree nuts. i am uneasy about eating anything that has been in a#facility with tree nuts because i have had allergic reactions just as severe from cross-contamination as i have had from straight up#eating walnuts. the one exception to this rule is pistachios because i have yet to have an issue with them#i don't eat pecans anymore because i had a reaction. almonds are on thin ice i don't really eat them#also. also i dislike nuts. it's not a hard rule but i don't like them at all. i am not a picky eater they just happen to be one of the#foods i dislike they're a bad texture and they taste like wood. except for the beautiful pistachio#and then we have the alpha gal allergy so. it's not Nearly as severe in terms of life-threatening anaphylaptic response but#the trade-off is a week-long world ending stomachache. which is extremely not fun and also could at any point randomly turn into#a more severe allergy so i. sort of don't fuck with it. there are exceptions that i regret every time because ouch. no red meat.#similarly. we respond not too great to dairy. can't have a lot. can't be fixed by lactaid pills or anything because it's not lactose#intolerance it's an allergy. so. no tree nuts except pistachios. no red meat. light dairy. i am twenty pounds underweight.#my doctor told me to keep red meat in my diet if i couldn't maintain my weight and uh. Bad News i can't maintain weight but also it's a#massive trigger so what the fuck do i do here. to be allergic to some of the most caloric and fatty foods out there#tried to start up boosts and i will continue doing so but im getting stomachaches from them too. like the fuck do u do#im eating eggs and avocado and olive oil and peanut butter etc and im still losing weight. i don't ever have an appetite#gets to a point where im like Well we might end up in a fucking hospital because i keep losing weight and idk why#tests aren't showing anything other than alpha gal and minor inflammation we don't have a reason for#tomorrow i will fucking have egg and avocado and olive oil and butter and a boost and an antispasmodic and water and#i will get a stomachache again and be tired again. Onward!#i would feel so much better if i could gain weight and i can't. what do. im so tired all the time <3 15.8bmi <3
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