#and making this post because it feels like journaling without the pitfalls I fall into while journaling or talking directly to a person

[sonderden]

Physically, I'm already lying down.

Emotionally, I feel like I need to find a soft spot and crumple dramatically to the ground and lay down for a few weeks.

[arsenickemetic]

Vriska Serket : An Appeal To Emotion Fallacy And Other Pitfalls

this is a more lengthy post, cw warning for sa, mentions of abuse and overall some stuff, that maybe you dont wanna see. anywhos who will what this is finally my thoughts put together in a way that isnt incoherent rambling! also this ramble was inspired by this video, so yeah go watch !!!!!! #thebestbloggerever

vriska serket, i believe, is one of the more controversial characters within Homestuck. very obviously due to her horrid actions, her personality, and well just her. one of the most common scapegoats i see used for her is her childhood and her "desire to become better" which i think is mostly bullshit. she grew up a highblood, in a world in which killing and discriminating against those in a lower position then you, is glorified and expected of her. yknow? crippling and sexually assaulting tavros, killing aradia, permantly blinding terezi. all which she does show remorse for, but well. when she continues this repeated behavior, is it reaaaalllyy remorse? i'd like to begin with her relationship with tavros and how much i fucking hate it.

vriska, aradia, terezi and tavros were all flarpers. a mostly, silly game without any real consequences or danger. of course, when you play with vriska, danger follows. vriska used flarping as a way to get food for her Evil Giant Fucking Spidermom. i dont blame her for this, as well she was an infant when she had to start feeding her lusus. it was also when vriska first found her ancestors journal, and well, she decided that's exactly how she wanted to be. mindfang is horrible, and this would be even longer if i had to describe her. but well, if you know, then you understand shes comparable to a vriska with even less moral. anyway, back to the major point. during a overly cruel campaign with tavros, she cripples him. which she very clearly takes extreme pleasure in. which leads aradia to desire revenge for the boy, with her own powers, cursing vriska to face the death of everyone she's killed, so vriska makes sollux kill her, which then leads to terezi blowing up her arm and eye. notice how, all of this was preventable? notice how, vriska's sadism is one of her major pitfalls. vriska just can not help herself. but well, back to tavros and vriska. andrew hussie all but really confirms she has a thing for him? (side note: #fuckyouhussieandyourhorridwriting)

Without any sort of right or wrong about it, this is just the way someone of her kind views romance and goes about it. Aggressively and predatorially. You could even postulate that paralyzing him in the first place was part of the entire courtship process for her... Spiders paralyze their victims... but the principle of predation applies more broadly here to romance as well. She just happened to do so to the guy she was zeroing in on for years in advance. And when the time came to make her move, he was helpless to get away. Perfectly logical by her mindset. All she needed to do was craft a clever scenario to make him fall for her, like dressing up as a fairy and enacting his favorite fantasy.

if this is to be believed, vriska taking advantage of him, was most definitely not hussie putting in his odd mean girl fetish onto two characters. but a stupidly over the top courting process?? oh and well, without falling any sort of linear understanding of homestuck, when she FINALLY does apologize to tavros, for making him disabled, she continues to gloat about it and treat him the exact same?!

i think, what i dislike the ABSOLUTE most about vriska. is that she will feel guilt for an action she committed say again, for example, making tavros disabled. who doesn't hold any malice towards her, by the way. she does nothing to improve herself. when she finds out that theres a ring that will bring her back to life, and that tavros has it. she demands and throws a tantrum for it, completely abandoning anything she had planned in the bubbles, because she wanted to be more relevant. when john gets it? she puts on the puppy dog eyes and tries to manipulate him, which he adequately calls her "dangerous" because in truth, vriska is a horrible person no matter her intentions.

whenever vriska is given a chance, to put her ego away, or hurt others. EVEN THOSE she supposedly cares for. she will always, always put herself above anything. vriska is a baby, who is constantly crying for milk, and when she doesnt get it hell will come forth. the fandom has this issue of coddling her because, to us, her actions are so absurdly, cartoonishly evil it makes her endearing in a way. and well she is funny. vriska desires to be the special, the person who destroys the big bad. its sort of pathetic really, and no, im not saying this in a manner that sympathizes with her. because she is very immature, she IS a child. but well, i feel like that can only hold up for so long.

vriska has this sort of ouroboros loop with her actions, gloat and scheme, do bad thing, get backlash from friends for doing bad thing / regret it after, feeeelll soooooo bad oh woe is me! DOES NOT CHANGE. its this loop, which i feel is mostly shitty writing from hussie (#fuckyouhussie x2) but well, it makes her such an infuriating character. because if vriska truly did regret her actions, its so mind boggling why she doesn't want to change herself for the better. she continues to verbally abuse her "friends" all who are so clearly done with her bullshit. no one can trust her, without even getting into her and kanaya, cause god vriska did that poor lady so awful. vriska abuses everyone in her life, who could possibly mean anything to her. which leads everyone to NOT FUCKING like her (big shocker...) and yet, she is stupidly oblivious to how much people dont like her. vriska knows shes bad, at least to some degree. but she doesn't seem to understand just how little the other trolls give a shit about her.

as someone, whos always been a major vriska fanatic, i really do like her. shes funny, and when she isnt being the absolute worse and most awful she can be. which is rare, but she has her moments. its so annoying shes doomed to forever be this mean girl, annoying bitch character who never matures. it really is saddening to me. vriska could have been so much more and she's not. vriska is a sad sack who hates everything and anyone, whos so vitriolic that no one really enjoys her presence. like ralph ellison discusses, if reality is what you make of it. vriska's world is perfect. she is the hero, she lived up to the serket title, she is everything she desired and perhaps more. in a more grounded worldview? she's a loser, with no earnest friendships. but well, thats what the narrative desires i guess.

[jackpavarotti]

Dear Diary!

Dear diary! I loved hearing these words from movie characters and enjoyed seeing them journal their experiences at the end of the day. I have never been a “dear diary” kind-a-girl. I did my homework when I got home after school, but my afternoon was either occupied by hanging out with friends or watching television and occasionally doing house chores. No journaling was done.

I want to write. Just write. I’d like to be a published author. Right now my writing skills are not as sharp and strong as I’d like them to be. I feel like if I had spent a reasonable amount of time writing on a journal or a diary, I might be better at it. I have also not “practiced” writing as we all know practice makes perfect. I think I have been very naïve in my approach to my dreams. You know that moment in movies when a character tries something and it goes horribly wrong but by the end of the movie they are the best at it? I figured I would enjoy the latter without going through the pitfalls.

My problem is beyond laziness. I am lazy to a degree and suffer from severe procrastination you have never seen nor heard of. I have a fear of rejection! Major problem. Yes, I am not the only person suffering from this and I acknowledge that. And yet, I still struggle to pull away from it. This phobia of mine has prevented me from trying out so many things in my life. Especially things that can change and improve my life. I also think I may low-key believe that I do not deserve beautiful things and success. That’s why I don’t try so much.

This got way too deep and it is only the beginning. I told you, my writing needs a lot of development. I want to commit myself to writing every single day. I am not sure if this will lead anywhere or to anything. But I am here learning to be patient with myself and start something I may be proud of one day. I hope this journal will work as a therapeutic session for me and help me make positive changes in my life. I do want to make my mother proud and also provide for her. My decisions and lack of action have impacted my life in ways I never thought possible.

My nephew celebrated his 14 year birthday on the 5th of May 2021. This makes me feel old. Really! In 2008 I looked after him, I was his babysitter. I bathe and fed him, changed his dippers and took him to the clinic for his vaccinations. We got so close and to this day, he has a special place in my heart. I love speaking with him and he makes me smile. In this 14 years or 13 since 2008, I feel like I have achieved nothing. I am very grateful for what I have and I thank God every single day. Okay, on other days I am brat, I don’t express full appreciation of what I have.

The feelings I have are to a large extent due to comparisons with my peers and “imagined” or real pressure from the community. But it is mostly my conscience and inability to provide the way I had hoped I would at this stage in my life. I will admit, I lack planning skills with regard to short-term and long-term goals for my life. This more than anything has made it impossible to find the proper direction in my life. A direction leading to better salary and growth within my career. I wouldn’t call it a career at this point but an occupation.

This is not a pity party, absolutely not! It is always a great idea to do a bit of introspection. Now and then. Because that will lead to action that’s required in one’s life. As said before, I do hope for a positive outcome from all this journaling. Writing this right now I already feel that I will quit. It’s not easy going after what you want. There’s also this voice in my mind, “who are you to think that your voice matters or has value”? “That you think you can be a writer”? I am very scared to try but here goes. I hate being judged too. And I want fame – how will I handle that? One thing for sure, I need to work hard and plan better for the future.

It is important to mention though, that I am very happy in other areas. No, I don’t have a boyfriend but I am a happy, single, gay, feminine man. I respond to s/he and I love heels. Obviously, being gay has not been easy I don’t have to tell you that. I remember even admitting it to myself in private was not easy but when I fully accepted myself; it opened a new world for me. I have always been feminine and my closet was basically a “glass closet”. When I came out, it was easier to relate to other people.

When I think of women I think of words like “beauty”, “glamour” and “(long flowing) hair”. I remember thinking to myself when I was younger, “if I was a woman, I’d always look beautiful”. Being gay for me didn’t end with being attracted to other men but it transcended to loving and adoring beautiful clothes and being fabulous. I wear make-up everyday now and I am living for it. I will let you know this, if it were up to me I’d wear heels, beautiful dresses or super tight skinny jeans and other beautiful items every single day.

That part of my life is going great. I do face challenges and I overcome them. Dating falls within these challenges and I am yet to overcome that obstacle (and so is the rest of the world).

More on the next post. Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing.

Sincerely and hopeful:

MHN

[missmentelle]

This might sound very silly but I just don't know how to be more proactive. I've been very passive all this years until this point where I feel like I can't anymore. I wish I could be more hardworking for the things I want but I get all overwhelmed and don't even know how other people have the energy or the motivation. People think Im just lazy. I don't have almost any skills let alone any that I can monetize, I feel like Im going to be a looser forever.

I think this is a problem that a lot of people - especially younger people - are struggling with right now. We want to achieve great things, and we feel like we should be achieving great things, but many of us are so paralyzed by doubt/anxiety/apathy/uncertainty that we have a hard time mustering up the motivation to run basic errands, let alone chase our dreams. I’ve certainly spent more than my fair share of time beating myself up for the countless days that I’ve fucked around on Reddit all day instead of actually achieving anything, even when I was fully aware that I was sabotaging my own dreams and goals by doing so. I just couldn’t always muster up the ability to care about the things I needed to be doing, even if there were dire consequences for not doing them. The good news is, there are definitely ways to overcome this issue, and reach a point where you are happier with your progress and your life. To get started, I recommend:

Decide what it is you actually want. Telling yourself to “be more proactive”, “work harder” or “have a better life” is not helpful if you don’t actually have specific goals that you’re working towards. It is very, very easy to find ways to be “busy” for 8 hours per day - but being busy doesn’t necessarily mean progress. Take some time, and think about some rough goals that you’d like to actually work towards. Don’t worry about how much work or effort it would be to achieve those goals, just start thinking about what you want in life, and what’s the most important to you. Think about the kind of life that you would like to have someday, and start figuring out the steps you need to take in order to get yourself from your current life to the life that you envision. It’s okay if those things are very far apart - the point is not for you to get overwhelmed, but for you to have something to be proactive about. 

Start slowly. You cannot go from “spending 8 hours per day mindlessly browsing the internet amidst a pile of old take-out containers” to “running 5 miles every morning before making art for 8 hours in a spotless apartment with a fridge full of vegetables” overnight. Trying to change your routine too drastically and too quickly will lead to you burning out in a couple of days and going right back to your old ways, with an added dose of self-hatred because you tried and failed. Trying to be more productive and more functional is a process, and a long one at that. It’s not at all unusual or abnormal to take several years of work before you get your life to where you want it to be. Start slow. Start with incredibly tiny changes, and slowly build up those changes over time. If you currently live on a diet of fast food and candy, and you want to be a shredded, clean-eating fitness guru, you can’t rush into that all at once. Start by swapping out full-sugar pop for diet pop for the first month, and trying to drink more water. That’s it. Don’t make any other changes. Then the second month, switch out diet pop for flavored water. And so on. Change only sticks when it’s gradual. 

Focus on one thing at a time. Again, trying to do too much, too soon is a recipe for fast burnout and self-hatred. Start by trying to change one area of your life, and one area of your life alone. Once you feel like you have a pretty solid handle on that part of your life and you have established some new habits, then you can add on a second area of focus. Spend some time, and really think about which area of your life is the most important for you to change, and which area of focus will improve your life the most. If it helps, envision your problems as rocks that you are carrying around in a backpack with you at all times. What’s the heaviest rock in your backpack? If you are overweight, unhappily single, making no progress building your YouTube channel and failing out of college, then your college grades are probably the thing causing you the most stress in your life, and they’re your most urgent concern - focus on that, and give yourself permission to let the rest of it sit on the back burner until you have boosted your GPA. Only then will you be ready to start changing something else. 

Go easy on yourself. I think one of the pitfalls that many young people face these days is that they absolutely crush themselves with unrealistic expectations of what they “should” be doing with their lives; it’s hard to get up the motivation to do anything when you’ve convinced yourself that the bare minimum for success is an impossible ideal. I have friends with master’s degrees who still consider themselves failures that haven’t done anything in life. Remember that you are not a machine. Even at your most successful and high-functional, you will not be perfect and productive 100% of the time. You will still have lazy days where you don’t get much done. You will still occasionally order takeout instead of making a home-cooked meal. You will still occasionally procrastinate. Don’t set yourself up for failure by comparing yourself to an unattainable ideal - just aim to be a slightly better version of what you are right now. 

Get used to tracking, even without making changes. It’s hard to set goals for improvement if you don’t have a solid idea of what you’re actually doing right now. Telling yourself things like “stop being so lazy and do more things” is setting yourself up for a spiral of self-loathing if you don’t actually track what you’re doing, because you won’t be able to see the small, gradual progress that you’re making. Being able to actually see yourself taking baby steps toward your goal is important for keeping you motivated, and keeping you from beating yourself up. Don’t track absolutely everything in your life - that becomes obsessive after a while - but keep an eye on some of the major things that you might want to change in the future. Install apps on your phone and laptop that track how much time you spend doing what. Set up the step tracker on your phone. If you want to eat better in the future, start tracking roughly what you eat now. I’m a pretty avid bullet journaler, I track a lot of my daily habits. Keeping track of the things you do, even if you’re not proud of them, and even before you start to work on them, gives you a baseline to work with, so you can establish how bad the problem is and see when you’re heading in the right direction. 

Forget the obsession with monetizing. A lot of us have gotten this idea in our heads that we need to find ways to monetize everything that we’re even remotely good at, or doing that thing is somehow a waste of our time. I don’t want to generalize about millennials and gen z too much, but I do feel like our generation was raised on the belief that “doing what you love” is the most important thing in life; I personally have many friends that are obsessed with monetizing, to the point that they no longer do anything unless they can find some way to funnel it into advancing their blogger/influencer/creator career. I think this is a mistake. When you monetize something that you love doing, you turn it from a hobby into a job, with all the stress that comes with that, and I think it’s important for everyone to have at least one thing in their life that they do just for the joy of it. It’s okay to let work be work, and play just be play. And I say this as a person who has monetized one of my hobbies; I love true crime and forensic psychology, and I co-host a true crime podcast that has recently had a huge surge of popularity and is on the cusp of being monetized. I could write an entire post about the mental health side of being a creator with a public online presence, but in a nutshell, turning my podcast from a hobby into a business has required me to take it a lot more seriously, and it now falls more into the category of “work” than it does “fun”. My enjoyment of life requires that some of my other hobbies - like playing music - just stay un-monetized hobbies. Let yourself create and do things that don’t have economic value. 

Don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. I have had both personal friends and followers on this blog tell me that they feel bad about themselves because their life doesn’t measure up to what they see on Instagram, or because they feel that their own lives would not be worthy of posting online. This is a toxic mindset to get into. The things you see on social media are not reality, no matter how much they appear to be - people put incredible amounts of effort into carefully cultivating an online persona that makes them look more productive and accomplished than they actually are. I have a brother who who is a somewhat successful Instagram “influencer”, alongside his more successful girlfriend, and I could write an entire post about the lengths they go to to fake having perfect lives on Instagram, and the toll that their Insta careers are having on their mental health. If you are looking to be a more productive version of yourself, it’s best to steer clear of “motivation” from people who are paid to pretend to be successful online. 

Set measurable, achievable goals. Goals like “be healthier” and “do more stuff” won’t get you anywhere - they are so vague that it’s not possible to tell when you’ve actually achieved them, or how much progress you’ve made. If you want to be more productive and feel like you’re getting more done, you need to set goals that can actually be worked towards and checked off when they are done. Instead of “go to the gym more”, aim for “go to the gym 5 days per week” as your end goal, and start with a solid couple of months with “go to the gym at least once per week”, and slowly increase from there. If you’re aiming for something big like “have an awesome job”, break that down into medium-sized goals like “finish an undergrad degree”, and then break that goal down even further into “hand in all my assignments on time this semester”, and break that down further into “write the first 10 pages of my paper by the end of the week”. Set tiny goals for yourself that you can easily achieve, and that will gradually accumulate into big accomplishments. 

Remember that slow progress is better than no progress. If you write one sentence per day, it is going to take you a really long time to write a novel. It will take you a whole lot less time, however, than if you get overwhelmed at the thought of writing a novel and never write at all. Sometimes you need to break goals down into steps so small that they also seem not worth doing. It can feel a little silly to congratulate yourself for things like “brushed my teeth today” and “texted someone back today”, but those are little habits that add up into bigger things, and giving yourself that positive reinforcement is important. “Greatness” and “success” are not things you achieve all at once, they are made up of tiny habits that you’ve been working on for months or years at a time. 

Take care of your mental health. Not feeling the motivation to do anything, even things that you enjoy, can be a symptom of depression. Everyone beats themselves up from time to time for not being more productive, but if your brain is constantly on a feedback loop of “I’m human garbage and I’m wasting my life”, that’s a pretty serious problem, and a solid sign that it’s time to seek out some professional help. Trying to make major life improvements without addressing underlying mental health concerns is kind of like trying to drive a car without wheels - you’re just not going to get anywhere until you’ve dealt with the obvious problem. 

Remember that setbacks are okay. Even the most highly proactive and high-functioning people have days where they say “fuck it” and order takeout to eat in front of the TV. Everyone occasionally misses deadlines or leaves things to the last minute when they shouldn’t. Everyone shows up late occasionally. These things happen - we are humans, and none of us are perfect. The key to long-term proactivity and productivity, though, is not to let those small setbacks define you, and not to throw away all the progress you’ve made over a bad day or a bad week. Eating healthy six days per week will put you in a much better position than deciding “fuck it, I blew it” after one bad meal and returning to eating unhealthy meals 7 days per week. As the saying goes, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good - in other words, perfection is not attainable, and getting hung up on being perfect will prevent you from achieving many things that are good. The idea is not to be perfect; it’s just to keep striving to be a slightly better version of yourself. 

Best of luck to you!

[nikxation]

Gravity Falls Fic Rec List

In honor of Fanfiction Writer Appreciation Day, I’ve decided to compile a list of some of my favorite fanfics I’ve encountered thus far in the fandom! Please note that this list is not all-encompassing, and that even if you don’t see your fic here, if I have liked/kudoed/commented/reblogged your fic, that means I love it. Keeping this list a moderate length is already going to be difficult enough because holy cats this fandom has a lot of amazing writers!

Before the Bridges Burn by @endae

Summary: Canon Divergence from DAMvtF and the entirety of Weirdmageddon. Rather than being stopped by Ford and being encaged in front of Blendin, Dipper finds Mabel in the forest trapped inside her Dreamscape. He makes a deal with Bill to rescue Mabel, but with the risk of losing his life if he doesn't make it within the time restriction of Bill's game.

Why you should read it: Okay, so, Endae has this absolutely beautiful and heart-breaking way with words that really whacks you in the face with the Feels Stick from the get-go, and if you haven’t read anything by her yet, then you’re missing out. The angst is real, folks. Don’t take my word on it. Just go read it for yourself. Seriously. Currently the sequel is a WIP.

Fisherman’s Knot by @scribefindegil

Summary: Happy endings are messy, and the Arctic winter is more difficult than either Stan or Ford want to admit.

Why you should read it: Okay this is literally a fandom classic, and if you haven’t heard of it thus far, you must be new like I was. This fic is a gem. So much hurt and quite a few serious themes that you should make sure you’re ready for before you start. Also... tissues. Be sure to have tissues on hand... The fic is technically not finished, but where it leaves off is super satisfying and honestly works as an ending, so don’t worry, you don’t end on any horrifying cliffhangers.

Raising Stakes by @marypsue

Summary: 1982. A postcard from his estranged twin brother summons Stanley Pines halfway across the country to Gravity Falls, Oregon, where something sinister is brewing. Ford may have bitten off more than he can chew this time, but Stan's never been one to lie down and give up. And this time, he's got a new bag of tricks to try...

Why you should read it: Two words... Vampire AU! It’s super well-done, it has heart and jokes while also being appropriately sinister at certain points. Also, I love the interpretation of vampires and how they work. Beyond this fic itself, Mary is just a superb writer and really cranks out some amazing fics and AUs.

Lighthouse Keeper AU by @impishnature

Summary:  A beast lurks in the waters. Stan loses Ford to the waves, the lighthouse his only point of contact and hope of ever getting him back. …He used to love the sea, now it’s taken everything from him.

Why you should read it: Okay... This is another one where, if you haven’t read it, you must live under a rock. Super cool AU where the show takes place centered around a lighthouse instead of the Portal. Bill is creepy af, Ford’s means of being trapped are super rad and also super terrifying, and Stan is just such a good boy I love him so much. Imp also writes beautifully and has this amazing grasp of imagery and storytelling that is really astounding and paints these gorgeous pictures of what’s happening. Her stories will just have you completely enraptured, so go check out her stuff.

Some Sunny Day by @anistarrose

Summary: Time isn’t linear, Stan has a catchy piano tune stuck in his head, and blue flames threaten to consume the peace that the Pines family has found. Based off the Same Coin Theory.

Why you should read it: I’m going to be completely honest here: I’ve only read the first chapter of this so far. I know, I know, bad Nikki. But look, okay, the first chapter is super good, Rose’s Stan Twins are amazing and so in-character that is hurts, and Same Coin theory is just so cool to explore and play with. But Nikki, how can you rec something you’ve barely read? I can because I just know, alright. Rose writes really well, and even the first chapter had me completely invested (even if I haven’t had time to read the rest). So I’ll rec what I want, thank you very much. Currently a WIP.

1 Step Forward, 20 Years Back by @infriga

Summary: A Tale of Two Stans AU: Instead of fighting over the journal Stan tries to leave, but Ford isn't willing to let him go that easily. During the argument Stan comes into contact with a strange magical substance, and when he wakes up later he finds he's a bit smaller than he remembers. Now not only does Ford have to worry about Bill taking over the world, he also has to figure out how to turn his brother back to normal.

Why you should read this: This is another one that is a huge fandom hit, and for good reason. It’s got humor and imagination. Infriga’s writing is super nice and flows perfectly. Their grasp of the characters is spot-on, and they explore some really neat concepts and ideas in the fic. Really, just and all-around amazing fic that you should definitely read if you haven’t yet. (They also illustrate every chapter, and their art is spectacular).

by the skin of your teeth by @apathetic-revenant

Summary: In which Ford's attempt to survive entirely on caffeine and paranoia suffers some pitfalls, and things happen differently in 1982.

Why you should read it: This was literally the first fic I read for this fandom, and I still love it to this day. Ford’s a goddamn mess, Stan is the real MVP for taking all this BS and craziness in stride, and Fidds saves the day. Some rather dark themes interspersed with some comforting humor (lookin @ you, end of Ch2/beginning of Ch3). Plus, I am always in the mood for the boys figuring their problems out and bonding again. Good good stuff.

Cast Away (part 2) by @fordanoia

Summary: What happens when Stanley is the one to fall through the portal instead.

Why you should read it: Two chapters of absolute stress. Both of the boys are bad-ass in their own ways, and Stan gets some unexpected help (from something that canon really would have benefited from expanding upon). Really, an all-around awesome two-shot. Noia gets into the boys’ heads so well and writes them amazingly. Just... such a great read.

An Outreached Hand by @dubsdeedubs

Summary: On a cold winter's day in 1982, Stan Pines shows up at his brother's door with two cats tucked in his jacket and no heartbeat in his chest. (A sort-of Ghost Trick AU, but requires no previous knowledge of that to read.)

Why you should read it: Super neat concept. Really, this fic is so cool. Dubs’s writing is spectacular, and they instill this sense of mystery and foreboding into this story so seamlessly with little hits of humor here and there. Really, I can’t put into words how awesome this fic is. Just go check it out. Currently a WIP.

30 Seconds Later by @invisibletinkerer

Summary:  Stanford falls through the portal in 1982, but is pulled back almost immediately. Stanley, meanwhile, struggles for 30 years to bring his brother back. Neither is reunited with the brother they expect.

Why you should read it: Hooooo boy. This fic is about as angsty and painful as you would expect from reading the summary. It’s super well-written and the idea is so unique and honestly heart-breaking when you consider the implications. It just presents some new and interesting challenges for the gang to overcome and is a solid, interesting fic so far. Currently a WIP.

Okay I know I’m missing some, but these are some major highlights in my book and this post is starting to get ridiculously long RIP.

To everyone that writes, thank you for doing what you do. You all are amazing and loved and appreciated. The world would truly be a sad place without so many of amazing writers in it. Keep doing what you’re doing, and may the gods of inspiration rain every beautiful idea down on you, and may your fingers fly swiftly across the keys to compose beautiful tales each and every day. <3

[two90sadults]

I Spent A Lot Of Time Listening To Sad Love Songs When I Was In School

Right now I am definitely firmly in a phase in my life where I have no interest whatsoever in romance. I do not want to date anyone, even casually. I don’t even really want anyone to see me naked, let alone touch or kiss me. Honestly. Relationships are messy and hard and not worth what you have to put into them for what you get out. I’ve only been in two relationships, both of which lasted a year and a half, but they both put me in the camp of It’s Not Worth It To Devote A Majority Of Your Time, Energy, And Emotions To One Person Who Will Inevitably Let You Down And Who You Will Inevitably Let Down, Sooner Or Later. 

Still, I find it interesting to think about the fact that I spent most of my life pining after someone or another romantically or sexually or both, and how that fact has shaped who I am today. 

I’m bisexual, but I’m only going to talk about my attraction to men today since both of my relationships were with boys (well, one of them is a trans woman, but at the time she was not really aware of her own identity and she presented as a male and my attraction to her was based in the fact that she was male, so at the time we were both operating as a male/female relationship. If that makes sense?) and the way that I am primarily attracted to men in a serious relationship kind of way is what gets me fucked up. 

This post could get really long but I promise I am going to try to keep it brief. 

I have always had an obsessive personality. There is a big light switch in my mind and when I am introduced to something it is either flicked on or off, no in between. So, when it flicks on, I am immediately swept up into a frenzy of having to consume whatever I can get my hands on that relates to the thing that I now LOVE. So I think this comes into play when it comes to me having crushes on people, too. if my heart and my head decide they like a person, they spend all of their time trying to figure out how I can be near them all of the time. 

I am the youngest of my mom’s four kids. When I was little, I never wanted to be alone. I would follow my mom around the house, every room she went into, just so that we could be in the same room and I could see her and talk to her. I shared a room with my sister for the longest time. The first time I had my own room was honestly the strangest thing. These things come into play, too, because I never really wanted alone time. I always craved a relationship because it meant having a person that could be glued to my waist at all times in a socially acceptable way. 

All through elementary school was my most formative crush. I am not going to use real names of anyone here, but I was absolutely obsessed with my math/science teacher. He was over six feet tall, had a full head of beautiful brown hair, a cute little gap in his front teeth, a deep voice, and great taste in pop culture. During class he used to talk about Han Solo and The Beatles and my little heart would pitter-pat like crazy. I thought he was so cute. He also wore Vans and khakis and short-sleeved dress shirts with ties and I could not believe how good he looked. When you’re young like that you just think all adults are Old, but when I look back on it at the time he was only 34 or 35 years old, so he had that young “cool teacher” vibe. 

Based on this description, you could put any of my crushes since then in a line up with a lot of other random guys and even someone who has never met me would be able to pick out the guys I liked. 

Tall, geeky, cocky. These, unfortunately, are the traits I have always found most attractive in a man. 

And, also true to my nature, in elementary school I spent every waking moment devising ways that I could spend time in his classroom, reasons I could talk to him during recess, etc etc. I kept a journal that I filled with ideas and stories about us being in love. I wrote him love letters. One of which my friend actually gave to him. THAT was awkward. 

Once he called me cute as a button and I tell you what it changed my whole goddamned life. 

This perfect storm of having an obsessive personality and being a chubby kid with terrible skin and messy hair and kind of a fucked up home life with my dad made me base almost my entire self-worth on what men thought of me. Ladies and gentlemen, I can tie all of my problems in my life back to this basic premise. What men think of me, and whether or not they were attracted to me, was always always always at the front and center of my mind. 

This post is definitely just me rambling at this point, but I think about these kinds of things a lot. I’m sorry. 

Anyway, Tierney, if there is any advice I can give you based on these realizations that it took years for me to drag out of myself it is: don’t date men. And if you do absolutely have to date a man do not let them become the center of your universe, do not let them make you believe their opinions are superior, and DO NOT base your self-worth in what they think of you. These are pitfalls that are easy to slip into without even realizing it. And if you do fall into them do not feel too ashamed or embarrassed to ask a friend for help climbing out of them. Also, if your friends don’t like a guy, take their advice and dump him. You guys were right about my last relationship and I stayed in it for so long when I could have just jumped ship a few months in when it was clear you guys thought he was wrong for me. 

Thus concludes my sermon on my obsession with men. I guarantee this topic will come up again. And again and again and again. It is themost toxic thing inside of my brain and, unfortunately, it still lives there. 

I love you dearly, Julia

NOTE: when I refer to men in the negative, I largely mean cisgendered men, and white cisgendered men at that. 

[siliconwebx]

How to Organize Your Life: 4 Tips to Follow & 2 Pitfalls to Avoid

Organizing your life, from your home to your office to your computer, doesn’t demand perfection. It’s okay if your life is more ��organized chaos” than Pinterest-worthy. What you do need is an understanding of what gets in the way when it remains disorganized. The goal is for all of it to run smoothly.

Here’s what happens if you don’t organize your life:

You leave your wallet at home because you assumed it was in your messenger bag. It’s sitting on your kitchen counter, serving no purpose.

You’re marked as “not attending” your cousin’s wedding. The RSVP is under the bills you also haven’t opened.

Work deadlines are forgotten because your digital calendar is too out of hand to read.

Here’s how to keep the important things in order so you can live the rest of your life like a normal, imperfect human.

1. Relegate work to your workspace.

Freelancers need a space that’s work-centric, removed from distractions and home responsibilities. If you’re lucky enough to have a spare room with a door that shuts, set up a home office. Or, section off part of a room and classify it as work-only. Even tiny apartments have nooks or closets that can hold a small desk and chair.

People with a traditional office job still find themselves working on projects at home. Create a similar setup, a designated space for work. Maintaining clear lines between home life and work life will help keep your house and mental space organized.

Here are three more tips for organizing your home workspace:

Keep everything you need to perform your work in this space. If you have to leave your home office to find a pen or envelopes in another room, it’s easy to get distracted.

When you’re finished for the day, close the workspace down just as you would a traditional office. Clean off your desk, pull the blinds down, turn off your computer, and shut the lights and door on your way out.

As much as possible, avoid heading back to your office during non-work time. Pretend that it’s a commute away.

Being strict about where you work helps you get into and out of work mode. Being able to work from home makes it tempting to always be working, but you deserve a break.

2. Give everything a home.

Everything in your home should have a…home. A “miscellaneous” drawer, closet or room doesn’t count. The more efficient a room needs to be (like the kitchen or office), the more organized the space should be.

Keep the items you reach for often closest to you. Items you only need once in a blue moon can get stashed away.

If you have storage boxes that all look the same, label them.

Use this strategy digitally. Organize computer files and email folders to always know where to store an item and look for what you need. Take advantage of the favorites bar on your browser and add link shortcuts to your phone’s home screen.

3. Create a drop zone.

Pick a drop zone for your to-dos, including your paperwork and items you have to put away. Then create a process for going through them and moving them to the “home” you created in step two.

For example, you can leave your mail in a basket by your entryway every afternoon. If your checks and bills are electronic, you can sort through that mail just once or twice a week. Pick a day, put “check mail” on your calendar, set it to recurring and forget about it.

Do the same for your digital life. Instead of organizing your desktop or Google Drive every day, put it on a monthly admin schedule. You won’t have to worry about it on a day-to-day basis, but you’ll know it’ll never go more than 30 days without a good cleanup.

4. Make routines or schedules.

For many professionals, life routines are inextricably linked with work routines. One will prepare you for the other. Without them working in harmony, you can get to the end of your day and feel like you accomplished nothing.

There’s almost no way to create the “right” routine or schedule. Plus, the more flexibility you have with your time, the harder it is to find a routine you’ll even follow. Give these tips a try:

Morning and evening routines are the most important but don’t complicate them. It’s not about what 100 other professionals do to start their day; it’s about what you need to get motivated. If that’s as simple as coffee, reading and making your bed, that’s fine. If you want to add a five-mile run and half an hour of journaling, that’s also fine.

If you’re setting a schedule, factor in extra time. You’ll need it when what you’re working on takes longer or when you need a break between tasks.

Whatever a project’s true deadline is, set your private deadline for at least one day ahead. If it slips your mind or it takes twice as long as you expected, you have a whole other day to deal with it.

You may need a routine to keep you on top of your routine. Remember that “check mail” task we added to the calendar in step three? What if you never check your calendar? Choose one place where everything lives – a centralized information center. For me, that’s Evernote. My Evernote checklist tells me everything else I have to do, “check calendar” included.

Match your routines to your energy cycle.

An energy cycle is the flow of when you feel your most-to-least energetic. Tackle your pile of work notes and paperwork in the morning when you have the brainpower to deal with it. Leave laundry and dishwashing for 15-minute work breaks or the end of the day when your brain can only handle mindless activities.

Two Tips I Hate (and Not-Terrible Alternatives)

If you read 50 “how to stay organized” lists, you’ll find these two tips almost every time. Not here. I can’t stand them.

Get rid of everything and then add it all back.

Don’t fall for this. You’ll wind up with half of your closet or office scattered throughout your living room. And you’ll never remove everything and redo a room in one day. Instead, do this partway. Clear out one drawer or desk or filing cabinet and reorganize it, then move on to the next “hot spot.”

Donate, sell or throw out something before you buy something new.

This is the kind of tip that sounds good on paper but is terrible in application. You’ll end up getting rid of something you want, need or love. Don’t bother with this. Instead, do a good, thorough purge one-time or seasonally. Then, give your future purchases a little extra thought. If you’re unsure, leave it – if you’re still thinking about it in two weeks, go back and buy it.

Be careful with digital items, too, especially those tempting freebies. If you’re not ever going to read that ebook, it’s not worth the trouble of downloading and organizing it.

Get Organized

At first, setting up organization at home, work or both can eat up a lot of time. The goal is to make your life less hectic, though. Staying on track takes a lot of planning in the beginning. Once you’ve gotten used to your new methods, though, you’ll have the time and mental space to focus on more important aspects of your life.

I can’t help but notice how much organization is like automation for your life. If you want to automate your work life some more, check out our article about building an efficient WordPress business.

The post How to Organize Your Life: 4 Tips to Follow & 2 Pitfalls to Avoid appeared first on Elegant Themes Blog.

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