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generallypo · 5 years ago

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“I heard your voice, so I came... Aoba-san.”

Hooo-boy, if that doesn’t get me emotional every single time. Call it my bias for eccentric bundles of sunshine and softness, or my crippling weakness for the secretly-handsome-and-devastatingly-earnest type, but you can’t change my mind: Clear is, hands down, DMMD’s best love interest. Character development-wise, thematically, romantically, he nails every trial thrown at him, gets his man, and proceeds to break your heart in the tenderest, sincerest way possible. I am hopping with Huge Fan Energy, so this post is gonna be unapologetically long and self-indulgent and grossly enthusiastic. Yeeeee.

————

Look, DMMD meta analysis has been done to death, I get it. This game is old. But I think it stands as testament to its excellent production that it’s still a game worth revisiting years later — especially during these times when social contact is so hard pressed to come by and we all rabidly devour digital media like a horde of screeching feral gremlins. (Have you seen Netflix’s stock value now? The exploding MMO server populations? Astonishing.) It’s pure, simple human nature to want to connect, to cling to members of our network out of biological imperative and our psychological dependency on each other. As cold and primitive at that sounds, social contact also fulfills us on a higher level: the community is always stronger than the individual; genuine trust begets a mutually supportive relationship of exchange and evolution. People learn from each other, and grow into stronger, wiser, better versions of themselves.

Yeah, I’m being deliberately obtuse about this. Of course I’m talking about Clear. Clear, who is a robot. Clear, who is nearly childlike in his insatiable curiosity regarding the human condition.

And it’s a classic literary tactic, using non-human entities to question the intangible constructs of a concept like ‘humanity’ — think Frankenstein, or Tokyo Ghoul, or Detroit: Become Human, among so, so many works in various media — all tackling that question from countless angles, all with varying measures of success. What does it mean to be human? To be good? Who are we, and where do we stand in the grand scheme of things? Is there even a scheme to follow? … Wait, what?

Jokes aside, there are so many ways that the whole approaching-human-yet-not-quite-there schtick can be abused into edgy, joyless existential griping. Nothing wrong with that if it’s what you’re looking for, except that we’re talking about a boys’ love game here. But DMMD neatly, sweetly side steps that particular wrinkle, giving us a wonderfully grounded character to work with as a result.

Character Design — a see-through secret

Let’s start small: Clear’s design and premise. Unlike so many other lost, clueless robo-lambs across media, Clear does have a small guiding presence early on in his life. It takes the form of his grandfather, who teaches Clear about the world while also sheltering him from his origins. It means he learns enough to blend sufficiently into society; it also means that Clear has even more questions that sprout from his limited understanding of the world.

Told that he must never remove his mask lest he expose his identity as a non-human, Clear’s perpetual fear of rejection for what he is drives much of his eccentricity and challenges him throughout much of his route. As for the player, the mystery of what lies underneath his mask is a carrot that the writers get to dangle until the peak moment of emotional payoff. Even if it’s not hard to guess that there’s probably a hottie of legendary proportions stuck under there, there’s still significance in waiting for that good moment to happen. And when it does, it feels great.

His upbringing contextualizes and affirms his odd choice of fashion: deliberately generic, bashfully covered from the public eye, and colored nearly in pure white - the quintessential signal of a blank slate, of innocence. Contrasted with the rest of DMMD’s flashy, colorful crew, Clear is probably the most difficult to read on a superficial scale, not falling into the fiery, bare-chest sex appeal of a womanizer, or the techno-nerd rebel aesthetic that Noiz somehow rocks. Goofy weirdo? Possibly a serial killer? Honestly, both seem plausible at the start.

And that’s the funny thing, because as damn hard as he tries to physically cover himself up from society, Clear is irrepressibly true to his name: transparent to a fault. He’s a walking, talking contradiction, and it’s not hard to realize that this mysterious, masked stranger… is really just an open book. By far the most effusive and straightforward of the entire cast, his actions are wildly unconventional and sometimes wholly inexplicable. But given time to explain himself, he is always, always sincere in his intentions — and unlike the rest of the love interests, naturally inclined to offer bits of himself to Aoba. It doesn’t take the entire character arc to figure out his big, bad secret — our main character gets an inkling about halfway through his route — and what’s even better is that he embraces it, understanding that his abilities also allow him to protect what he cherishes: Aoba.

So what if he doesn’t fit into an easily recognizable box of daydream boyfriend material? He’s contradictory, and contradiction is interesting. Dons a gas mask, but isn’t an edgelord. Blandly dressed, but ridiculously charming. Unreadable and modestly intimidating — until he opens his mouth. Even without the benefit of traversing his route, there’s already so much good stuff to work with, and sure as hell, you’re kept guessing all the way to the end.

Character Development — from reckless devotion into complaisant subservience, complaisant subservience into mutual understanding. And then, of course: free will, and true love.

At its core, DMMD is about a dude with magic mind-melding powers and his merry band of attractive men with — surprise! — crippling emotional baggage. Each route follows the same pattern, simply remixing the individual character interactions and the pace of the program: Aoba finds himself isolated with the love interest, faces various communication issues varying on the scale of frustrating to downright dangerous, wanders into a sketchy section of Platinum Jail, bonds with the love interest over shared duress, breaks into the Oval Tower, faces mental assault by the big bad — and finally, finally, destroys those internal demons plaguing the love interest, releasing the couple onto the path of a real heart-to-heart conversation. And then, you know, the lovey-dovey stuff.

Here’s the thing: as far as romantic progression goes, it’s really not a bad structure. There’s room to bump heads, but also to bond. The Scrap scene is a thematically cohesive and clever way to squeeze in the full breadth of character backstory while simultaneously advancing the plot. In this part, Aoba must become the hero to each of his love interests and save them from themselves. Having become privy to each other’s deepest thoughts and reaching a mutual understanding of each other, their feelings afterwards slide much more naturally into romantic territory. They break free of Oval Tower, make their way home, and have hot, emotionally fulfilling sex or otherwise some variation on the last few steps. The end.

That is, except for Clear.

Clear’s route is refreshing in that he needs none of these things — the climax of his emotional arc actually comes a little after the halfway point of his route. When Clear’s true origins are revealed, he comes entirely clean to Aoba, fighting against his fear of rejection but also trusting that Aoba will listen. It’s a quiet, vulnerable moment, rather than the action-packed tension we normally experience during a Scrap scene.

That doesn’t mean it’s prematurely written in — it simply means that he reaches his potential faster than the other characters. Because of that, he’s free to pursue the next level of his route’s development much, much sooner in the timeline: he overcomes his fears of his appearance, he confesses his love to Aoba, he leaves the confines of a largely dubious master-servant relationship and allows himself to be Aoba’s equal. Clear’s sprite art mirrors his emotional transformation all the way through, exposing him to the literal bone — and Aoba’s affection for him doesn’t change a single bit. Beautiful.

The whammy of incredible moments doesn’t just stop there, though. I don’t exactly recall the order the routes DMMD is ideally meant to be played in, but I believe Clear’s is meant to be last. And if you do, I can guarantee that it becomes a hugely delightful gameplay experience — in order to achieve his good ending, you must do absolutely nothing with Scrap. It doesn’t just subvert our player expectations of proactively clicking and interacting with our love interests; it grabs the story by its thematic reins and yanks it all back to the forefront of our scene.

In every route besides Clear’s, Scrap is a tool used to insert Aoba’s influence into and interfere with his target’s mind. Using his powers of destruction, Aoba is able to prune whatever maligned thoughts are harming his target; in any conventional situation, using Scrap is the right choice.

But one of the central problems in Clear’s route is his conflict between the impulses of his conditioning and his desire to live freely as a human would. Breaking free of Toue’s programming is what initially made him unique; growing beyond the rules imposed by his grandfather is what makes him human. In the final conflict scene, Clear’s decision to destroy his key-lock is an action of true autonomy, made with perfect understanding of the consequences and a sincere, selflessly selfish desire to protect someone he loves. In order to receive his good end, you have to respect his decision. It doesn’t matter which option you pick — by using Scrap, Aoba turns his back on every positive choice he made with Clear and attempts to exert his authority over him. This is Aoba becoming Toue; this is Aoba trying to reinstate himself as ‘Master’ right as he approved Clear as his equal. That’s blatant hypocrisy, and it doesn’t matter if Aoba is trying to do it for Clear’s ‘own good’ — that’s not Aoba’s call to make. If you truly wish to respect Clear’s free will, you will stand by. This is the truth of the moment: Clear has no emotional blockages that Aoba needs to fix. Believe in him, just as he believed in you.

The path to his heart is, and always has been, clear. Scrap was never needed from the start.

While Aoba might be the main character, Clear is undeniably a hero in his own route just as much. Tirelessly earnest and always curious, he leaps headlong into the unknown and emerges with his newfound enlightenment. He’s unafraid of weathering trials, even to the point of accepting death, and returns anew from oblivion to a sweet, cathartic ending. That’s about as textbook hero’s journey as it gets — if that doesn’t make him unquestionably, certifiably, unconditionally human, then I will scream.

And only finally… there is the free end. The final CG is like a throwback to our first impression of him: indistinct, purposefully obscured from proper view. But this time, we know better — and so does Aoba. Looks were never what mattered in Clear’s route. If you were patient, and you were open-minded, and you listened… well, what we realize now is that Clear was doing the exact same thing for you, too.

From a carefree, aimless robot-man with only the gimmick of “eccentric ditz” to carry him forward, we get a supremely more interesting character by the end: a man who has graduated from the well-intentioned but claustrophobic conditioning of his childhood; a weapon who has defied the imperatives placed on him by his creator’s programming; a wanderer who has, through unconditional patience and empathy, discovered love, and striven to become a better person for it. Who was it that ever doubted Clear’s character? He’s the goddamn goodest boy that ever wanted to be a real boy. Of course Clear is human. And in fact, he does it better than every single one of the actually human love interests. You can’t change my mind.

The Romance — kindness is really fucking attractive, okay.

Like I’ve said earlier, I have my Big Fan Blinds stuck on pretty tight. I might be conjuring sparks from thin air. But I think every choice was a deliberate creative decision on the writers’ part, and they deserve all the kudos for it — I’m just the lucky player who gets to enjoy it. But aside from Noiz (who I also think is a perfect darling as well — I could go on and on about him), Clear’s route is a model example for consent and healthy relationships in VN storytelling. This is reciprocated on both sides: never does Aoba infringe on Clear’s boundaries, and neither does Clear. They’re sensitive to each other’s needs and concerns; they ask for permission and stop when it isn’t granted (and when it is, boy do they get frisky — I’m not complaining!) I don’t need to say much more, because I think that consent is both fantastic and yes, incredibly hot (the scene in DMMD is tons more sad, go play Re:connect!). Good writing shows off the massive erotic potential enthusiastic consent puts into intimacy, and Aoba’s and Clear’s relationship is honestly a dream playground. The point is, I think Aoba and Clear genuinely do find equal balance in their relationship by the end of his route (and certainly through Re:connect). If you follow through Re:connect’s storyline, there’s even more thematic richness that comes through in the form of Clear’s greatest asset: communication. The couple get to discuss the long-term implications of them being together; they both offer concerns, points, and assurances to the other, and it’s just a soft, honest moment not so unlike the worries of a real relationship. Hearing is kind of Clear’s motif sense, but it’s really great to see that Aoba also subtly picks it up, really flexes his own communication skills to better engage with Clear.

Point is, Clear’s route spoke to me on a lot of little levels. Design-wise, he’s already got a ton going for him, and his story builds upon it rather than against it, enriching his development and grounding him a little more solidly in the DMMD universe (and in my heart). His route, aside from being emotionally ruinous, carries a pretty solid chunk of world-building (only beaten out by Mink’s and Ren’s, probably), and the romance feels organic, healthy, and realistic. He’s not the only one with an excellent route, but he’s my favorite. If you read through all of this, you’re a real trooper and I’m extremely impressed. Thanks for tuning in. Peace.

#dramatical murder #dmmd #aoba seragaki #clear #dmmd clear #long ass emotional screeching #lOL I FORGOT TO DRAW IN THE UMBRELLA HANDLE ahA #fixed

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lovelytonys · 6 years ago

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PLEASE GIVE ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AFTER FFH

I LITERALLY DON’T THINK I CAN DO THAT BC IT’S WILD UP IN MY BRAIN RN BUT LET’S ATTEMPT SOME BULLET POINTS

•it was SO fun. Everyone got me so scared to go see it but instead I had a blast. Sure the emotional parts were a little rough but what no one told me is that the movie put the pieces back together too! It felt very healing as far as Endgame sadness and no one told me it would be like that. Plus I thought it was so funny and Peter & his friends & teachers were GOLD

•I love this MJ. GOD do I LOVE this MJ. Zendaya is wonderful. “Awkward teen” is such a common archetype that it never seems to feel real and miss zendaya waltzes in with her impeccable acting instincts and realistic quirks and mannerisms and just nails this teenaged character with complete authenticity.......wig

•in the same vein I’m head over heels for this version of petermj GOD YES I don’t want perfectly romantic high school couples because things don’t WORK like that!! Why did things ever work like that!! Plus like every version of Peter Parker is a big nerd anyway it’s just unrealistic to expect him to have any game, you know? I love watching Zendaya & Tom play off of each other bc they both have SOLID instincts honestly they’re a joy to watch when they share the screen

•jake gyllenhaal man,,,,,jake gyllenhaal,,,,I don’t even know where to go with this. Mysterio was a cheesy level of evil, like he was ridiculously theatrical, and it would have been cheesy and ridiculous in less skilled hands but INSTEAD mr jake SNATCHED my WIG. He was so goshdarn charming in the first half that I caught myself wanting to like him (when I wasn’t mentally challenging him to fight me in a Walmart parking lot for being such a huge jerk) and that was all well and good but once he got to let his villainy loose? WOOOOOO okay first of all that SMILE that goshdarn SMILE the second Peter left the bar haha oh MAN he just, like, flipped a switch, you know? WILD. Riveting. mr jake’s teeth get 20 Oscars ALSO his villain speech? I can’t get into it there’s a lot to unpack but his delivery was so great. SO great. I loved how he was generally reserved and charming even when evil so that the moments when he had an outburst were scary. Like any time when he got angry and started yelling felt like a Moment bc of how he held back for the rest of it. He was always so deliciously menacing too like ugh sometimes I just love a good old fashioned villain, you know? He’s not terribly complicated, he’s pretty much just evil! Simple as that! Woohoo! And his dying line gave me CHILLS it wasn’t even just the line even tho the words are chill-enducing enough but it was his DELIVERY that just SENT ME like the way he’s trailing off and ESPECIALLY that creepy & deranged little smile AAAAHHHHHHH

•while we’re on the last line I get chills when I think about it bc when remembering the moment you fit the mid credit scene in with it and it’s like,,,,so THAT’S what that means,,,,THAT’S what the smile is for,,,,,THAT’S why you’re so pleased that anyone will believe anything,,,,,W I L D

•and I thought it was so cool how they updated Mysterio. He’s a special effects guy, right? That’s how the story goes when you look back at his origin comic, yeah? So to see him working with modern special effects instead of the practical effects of the era of his debut was so cool. Seeing Jake Gyllenhaal walk around in a Marvel movie wearing a morph suit was kinda meta and I kinda dig it. I thought it was all very creative

•if you had told me years ago that Back in Black by AC/DC would be the thing to set off an emotional outburst for me I literally would not have believed you but here we are

•no joke I was doing a relatively good job of holding it together (and relative is good for me) until AC/DC started playing, then I kinda lost it

•TOM HOLLAND SMASHED IT

•HE JUST SMASHED IT IDK

•THE SCENE IN THE PLANE. YOU KNOW THE ONE. 3000 OSCARS FOR MR TOM real talk I would kill to see him do a legit drama piece and I also can’t even imagine what he’ll be doing when he’s older. I mean. He’s pulling this out in a summer blockbuster of all things before he’s 25.....imagine what he’ll be doing if he gets to the point of having, like, decades of experience behind him

•the part when he was building his suit.......I cried

•as far as the plot...on one hand? Predictable every step of the way. On the other hand? I find a weird satisfaction in watching a movie that flawlessly fulfills basic beat structure and yeah it would be boring if every movie did that but it’s okay sometimes

•the first scene. the first. goshdarn scene. I have never truly known what it was like to laugh and cry at the same time

•MJ AND A MACE!!!! YEAH!

•I like how this movie begins with the question “is Spider-Man the next Iron Man” and proceeds to answer it with “no. He’s Spider-Man and that’s more than good enough.” Tony’s shadow is a huge one to live under and I love that the movie explicitly places Peter outside of that shadow. Like, yeah, he’s similar to Tony in some ways but at the end of the day? He’s his own hero. It’s highlighted even more by the fact that Mysterio is his foil and Mysterio wanted to be the new Iron Man.

•I don’t know what I was expecting from the second credit scene but that......wasn’t it. The two credits scenes threw me through more loops than the entire actual movie did

•J Jonah Jameson got a bigger reaction out of me than anything else in the movie by far

•I swear to you the words “pizza time” were uttered in this film I just don’t remember where

•I literally thought I was going to die when looking at Peter immediately after he got hit by the train

•the consistency with the limp throughout the whole second half really heckin Got Me and also how he touched his ribs in the final battle bc they were injured from the train accident. It’s the little things like that that make Peter seem more human & genuine

•WHEN HE SAW HAPPY AND WAS AFRAID OF HIM BC HE DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS REAL,,,,THAT HURT MY GUYS,,,,POOR BBY BOYYYYY but then when he hugged Happy I thought I was going to have a meltdown don’t worry I didn’t

•the scene where Mysterio seriously gets in Peter’s head, you know the one, good golly was that overwhelming. Like. I was feeling the need to jump up and start pacing the floor, you know? It was really well done and it stressed me outtt

•Iron Zombie had me feelin a little queasy if I’m being totally real here lol I was not feelin good about that one

•it took me the whole 2 hours to bounce back from “even dead I’m the hero” oh my god that was SO Tony. I can hear it in his voice. I miss him.

•can’t believe Tony is still out here fully protecting Peter with a whole army of drones from beyond the grave wow the irondad JUMPED out

•BUT OVERALL I FEEL SO GREAT AND EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#far from home spoilers #spider-man #spider-man far from home #peter parker #mysterio #quentin beck #iron man #tony stark #michelle jones #tom holland #jake gyllenhaal #zendaya

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ziracona · 5 years ago

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One aspect I find fascinating about your fics is that Meg and a lot of the other characters are pop culture savvy, but also live in a universe where some of the most popular horror characters were real people. So, how do you think they would've reacted to meeting Nancy and Steve, who come from a universe where Michael, Laurie, and Freddy are all horror movie characters?

Ahhh thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked that. Pop culture was a really big element for a lot of the cast, & it is kinda funny I guess that several of them /are/ core horror pop culture.

So, this is kind of a hard one for me to answer, because I didn’t do ILM canon like DbD official canon. I do explicitly reference Stranger Things as fiction in Nearly Departed, but that was because I had not the foggiest clue DbD would /add/ a Stranger Things chapter—both because it’s super new and ongoing unlike their other horror “classic” staples, & because I wouldn’t even really call Stranger Things horror. I had been so damn careful 😂—I think the only horror film I name is Friday the 13th, which felt safe at the time because it’s got its own similar game & thus seemed unlikely to give DbD rights. If I had included Nancy & Steve, I would have gone back and replaced that segment with something similar, and just had ST exist in the same world as Halloween, NOES 2010, and Saw/all of the ILM cast. It’s the best solution, and you really don’t have to change any of the stories to do it. All that would have to change is that in this version of ST, Max wore a different Halloween costume, & three lines of dialogue are different. Fundamentally it’s exactly the same world. I know that’s maybe not the most exciting answer TuT, but it’s what I’d have done for a few reasons. Ima drop the rest under a read more bc I go way into writing & a little w horror meta tho: 💙

For one, it’s just kinda sad. It lowers the storytelling stakes because even a best-case scenario would be kind of a letdown for everyone. Not as much to gain: Not as much to lose. So, sad emotionally & kinda less motivating story-wise. Like, if any version of a happy ending even hypothetically would always mean these people who have bonded through years of self sacrifice and friendship and trauma and growth either /never/ see each other again, or go to one world together where only maybe one person would ever get to see their OG family again, and might also have to suffer with seeing their life as a film on that planet? Joked about, critiques, not taken seriously, no privacy? That’s just. It’s not a happy ending, or a satisfying one, even for the characters to /fight/ for, regardless of if they can win it or not.

I’m aware that official DbD is multiverse, and there’s no assurance for even say Claudette and Meg being from the same world, let alone the world Halloween happens in, and was when I started writing. I just elected to ignore it. The devs even also explain a lot of the cosmetics as “alternate world versions” of the characters, instead of just fun costumes. I personally think that’s silly? And I’ve really never liked the multiverse decision. I got nothing at all against multiverse stories—they can be amazing—but you’ve got to have a reason if you do, and as far as I can tell, the only reason DbD is multiverse was so the Devs could release a bunch of classic horror characters into their game without worrying about continuity, which is lazy & not a great reason to pick multiverse. It can be great for stories, but in DbD, it would if anything just detract from the reality of the situation & the storytelling? Like, if I showed up in a hell pocket universe, and Michael Myers was there, it would be hard to take that situation entirely seriously, and it would fundamentally change how I interacted with others & they with me. If I knew his history, I’d use that to try to get through to him (what’s the worst that’ll happen? I’ll die like I do every day anyway?), but it would also be just weird & hard for people to relate. Like, if Steve Harrington has had conversations with a buddy about Laurie Strode being careless for not double-tapping her dead assailant & thinks of her as Jamie Lee Curtis & in some ways knows more about her life & family & universe than she does, but knows it all as an element of fiction? And at the same time, Kate’s seen Steve’s actor do interviews & play other roles and caught continuity errors in his /life/ while watching ST??? Hypothetically, someone /could/ unpack all that to tell a story, & maybe a fan has, but the Devs/game really, really haven’t, and in most instances, it’ll just mess up the characters’ abilities to relate to each other as human beings, as well as being miserable for the ones told they’re just characters from horror films in other people’s worlds.

The way DbD is set up really doesn’t lend itself to the kind of meta character vs humanity, role relationships between fiction & life narrative of, say, The Final Girls. Really all it does is make the world less real feeling. Less whole, more artificial. Less to be taken seriously, less belief willing to be suspended. Why are Laurie & Quentin fake in someone’s world? Does Meg not being in a story in Quentin’s universe mean she’s more real? It’s just messy. Multiverse is fine, but if you pick multiverse solely to make your job easier, at the cost of a more coherent, real, and engagable story (@ Devs >.>) that’s lazy/bad writing. I’ve read & enjoyed multiverse stories, but I’d never write DbD that way, bc I’d need a reason to, and I don’t have one. There was really no need for the devs to feel like they had to either, except pure ease w no work at all thinking about how or needing to explain anything, and I wish they hadn’t. : /

Like. Technically, Halloween & Scream shouldn’t be in the same canon—Halloween H20 plays a chunk of Scream 2 on TV, Scream 1 they’re watching Halloween 1978 & Scream 4 Sidney is asked “Who are you? Michael fucking Myers?” When she survives a murder attempt. But that’s not a big deal. It’s not a pivotal piece of world building and canon for either franchise. Scream is not fundamentally different if Randy is watching Friday the 13th or even some made up film, instead of Halloween. On top of that, a lot of horror references each other for fun and as tribute and I’m a huge nerd who adores this tradition. 😂 Scream & Halloween are so tight as franchises by the time Halloween H20 was released, that it actually uses chunks of Scream’s OST. It’s much better narratively for DbD if they’re all from one world, and in a way, it’s just a cool next step to the preexisting horror friendship metas between a lot of films. It’s really fun to figure out how they’d function together in one universe.

Anyway, that was long but I have so many thoughts on DbD & writing thank you for giving me an excuse to gush!! And thank you again for the compliment. I’m really happy you like my writing. It means a lot. 💙

#dead by daylight #misssingingintherain #ask #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #So ye shout out props to anyone who’s actually done multiverse for DbD & put in the work the devs didnt & actually found ways to make that #interesting/add value but also shame on devs for selling out story cohesion and value for ease dealing w continuity & questions.#writing #this ask took 9 years to let me add a read more w/o destroying the rest of the ask thansk tumblr

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jan-uinely · 5 years ago

Text

hot takes continued

here we go. season 12 episode 12.

so. it’s time to chit chat about drag race. if u dont like my opinions sry.

this is gonna get bigger than one episode or one season. this is meta drag race.

but first i guess the episode. right. so. obviously it was a “musical” so obviously i wanted to see jan sing and obviously she did not. I do think that this challenge [not necessarily placed in this episode] would have been a great time to do a like returning queens. but i digress.

i think that it was a little muddled. like it wasn't like any of the “girl group” numbers where it’s just the verse and chorus. all of the verses were placed in different spots throughout the show. I also think it’s ironic that this whole episode is to promote this live vegas show which is obviously not happening right now. but alas.

i agree with bob in that i liked jackie’s verse the best.

i did not love gigi’s outfit in the challenge. you couldn't make out the heart as easily bc the red was all the same color. I also think the material used was too chunky- it was quilted. i would have rather had the heart be quilted, not have a corset underneath it, and have the rest of the top part not be quilted. i thought it was a good concept but i would have preferred different #choices. i also would have rather the hair been straight instead of curled.

i did not have a huge issue w crystal’s orange and green outfit. i also appreciated the callback stars and stripes hair. though maybe not together?

jaida was good as per usual. i want her to win, but we will get to that later.

also let us note the basketball wives hair that made a comeback [gigi, jackie]

runway time.

crystal and ******’s outfits did not fit the way i wanted them too, and the problems were both in the hips. when i saw them i thought the hips should be exaggerated, but instead they both looked weirdly deflated. and crystal’s torso section could have been brought in. [i did see on instagram that the person who made crystal’s look [casey caldwell who is a nyc based designer, works w a lot of neoprene/thick materials- just look up on instagram caseyyalater] actually made it for dragcon and crystal bought it right there, so it wasn’t tailored]

in the dior v dior battle, i thought gigi won. jackie’s dress was just i think a little too large [not in terms of tailoring, in terms of diameter] but it was very jackie

gigi said that her outfit was quintessential gigi, which i think it interesting bc if you look up showgirls performances, it very much is. however in terms of the character portrayed on drag race i didn’t think it was. it was very well made, etc. but it just didn’t fit the “perfectionist trope” of the show.

jaida is once again wearing a gown with a presequinned fabric, which i am not mad at. it is quintessential jaida.

critiques.

again ooh we have to nitpick bc we accidentally cast too many winners on this season blah blah blah. i was not a fan of when they said oh well we will have to look at report cards. as if they didnt intentionally load up gigi and ****** with wins at the start of the show.

and then it’s like oh well jackie and crystal have to lip sync blah blah blah. and you know that jackie is going home. bc the judges absolutely love crystal, all because of that mullet.

to quote bob “I used to be really upset at queens who won the judges with their personality” and that is still mostly true for me. i don’t think her placement is unjust or whatever, but like if ru didn’t like the mullet, she would not have been given the confidence boost to turn her trajectory around, compared to jackie and widow and jan, who did most things right but just were not rupaul’s fave, and must have had a much more difficult time mentally on the show.

and FWIW heidi falls into this category as well. race chaser i think said it - all of her success comes from ru’s ideas. and being naturally funny and charismatic and having ru like you as a person is a huge gift and huge talent, but the inability to wrangle it... that being said i think she deserves the world and will grow [and has already grown] from this experience.

and the thing is that crystal also keeps going back to the same stuff which could have been funny if the episodes were more than one apart or if she didn't do it twice in one episode but. idk.

now, who will win, who should win, hmm hmm hmm. tbh i don’t think it will be crystal. they just crowned the oddball and they like to mix it up, or at least try to. also why looking at the history of dusted or busted scores [and s/o to jan for coming in @ 4 [after the disqualification]] crystal is at a 2, and bebe won with the lowest score at a 3 [w 2nd and 3rd place at 4 and 5], and that was in season 1, which was a whole other ballgame. leaving us with jaida and gigi. i am team jaida. i think that she is much more developed as an artist and performer than gigi, and I think that she will bring us something new.

[here comes the meta part]

the title is america’s next drag superstar. and i think in the beginning of the show, they decided that that had to mean something new and exciting, something that pushed the boundaries of what drag could be [which is rly ironic coming from them but]. which has developed this culture of what is the formula to be successful on drag race. and some people were more overt about this [jan] and some people were more subtle about this [gigi and jackie].

but for some reason, the [Black] pageant queens will make it to the top and then never win. - and they’ve had overt conversations regarding pageants and pageant culture on the show before - but balls and pageants were like the building blocks of drag culture in the us [from what i understand]. so inherently that means it’s no longer “new” and exciting. but the thing is that so many of these fashion [/nyc] queens work so exclusively with these high end designers to produce these looks [i think bob said it can cost like 10K to prep all your stuff for drag race] and with that the ability to design and sew falls away.

and i think that is reflected in the challenges and how they have changed. this season there was one design challenge. and that is just so disappointing to me bc i think the design challenges really separate who has a full understanding of their persona and who does not.

and with fewer and fewer design challenges, you have more and more designer items, and the ability to create something has fallen to the wayside. personally [and i will probably make another post about this later] i want to bring back the design challenges in one of two ways. 1. have an all designers season. where drag designers work to make elaborate costumes based on a prompt and given certain materials. bc on the show designers are not credited as much [that part comes on instagram]. 2. i want to have a drag race blank slate competition. where contestants audition and are given a list of prompts but cannot bring anything except like a notebook. no prepared outfits. you can sketch designs to the prompts, but all the materials are provided. contestants still have a main challenge and a runway, but rather than 2 days, they are given a full week to execute the challenge and the outfit. this would totally change the game in my mind. like one you wouldn't have to have money or take out loans to compete, you could just come and show who you are. and two the audience could see more of what goes into this stuff. AND if drag race really wants to feed us, they could do like a wed. ep and a friday ep. to spread things out.

my favorite challenges are design challenges, and while i think the first challenge this season gave us a better introduction to who the contestants are, the design challenge is a really good thing to have at the front.

i do think that if they had not had the debate that there would have been another design challenge in the mix, but bc it was an election year.

anyways, i want jaida to win bc she’s excellent at what she does. and at this point there is something new and exciting about making all your own clothes and being polished and knowing who you are. and tbh gigi doesn’t bring anything new to the table. sure the ability to sew and design is good, but compared to aquaria and violet the designs were not as diverse or inventive. on top of that, the fact that gigi is outwardly apolitical [and doesn’t understand the connotation of “privilege” in today’s times] is just not a good look. I also think that it is interesting that gigi came in as the look queen but actually did better in the acting challenges.

idk my main takeaway is that gigi is really really good at playing other people, and with that comes a lack of self awareness. striving so hard to be perfect can come at the cost of not knowing who you are as an artist. like gigi’s brand is literally “im that bitch/bitch” which again, just isn’t what i want in a winner.

and tbh the gigi bug bit early but ended when ru gave her the win on the madonna episode. [i will say that jackie could have won snatch game but tbh i was annoyed w her for being a little dickish to the safe girls that week [though what she said was totally understandable] and also i <3 jackie cox [and chelsea piers we stan chelsea piers in this house] i think there is something so gr8 abt being a nerd and being prepared and being on brand about it. also jackie is always the one to hop on the dolls’ lives and comment their venmo. hashtag cool aunt jackie. [though that here for cox t-shirt and the promo photos make me uncomfy though i get it]]

re jackie coming back to complete the top 4... IDK it’s nice and all but they've already established that they don’t want her to win- otherwise she would not have been eliminated.

also in my mind there are only 12 places so jan actually came in 7, widow 6, heidi 5, jackie 4.

anyways these are my thoughts. as usual, raw and unedited.

#i guess what i'm saying is that i would love to produce drag race #but i hate la so i guess that's off the table #drag race #hot takes #rpdr s12 #this is very long #so be prepared #i would like to think that it is high quality content #but we shall see #if u want more hot takes my ask box is always open #as u know i have no life #i just rotate between instagram twitter and tumblr #drag race season 12 episode 12 #im a ramblin gal #so enjoy my thoughts on this fine satur day

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codenamesazanka · 6 years ago

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You know that “survival of the fittest” phrase. MLA taking that too literally. :/ there’s no equality in their little shit of an ideology. I was wondering what’s the real life counterparts of the MLA? And what do you think will happen to them? Got any predictions? I hope The LOV just steals a truck load of moneys at the end uwu

Hi @shinakiraarts !!! I love you for this question because this is gonna let me indulge in topics I’m really interested in: evolution/sociology/bioethics. So, warning: nerd blabber. and super long.

First fact: You’re right! The Meta Liberation Army is shit.

The phrase “survival of the fittest” is often attributed to Darwin, but it was actually coined by Herbert Spencer, a philosopher who is now associated with the ideas of Social Darwinism. Basically, he believed that the concept of natural selection should be applied to human society - humans are/should be in an all-out competition in the struggle of life.

The ‘weak’ got their due in destitution and will/should die off, while the ‘strong’ deserved their wealth and power and will lead civilization to greatness. So, social inequality was the ‘natural way of things’. It was a very attractive idea to rich people already in power, and was often used as rationalization for exploitation, racism, colonialism... a lot of oppressive politics and laws.

There is never any equality in an ideology that believes in ‘survival of the fittest’ as social policy. It’s intended for there to not be equality.

The real life counterparts - or close to it - of the MLA unfortunately existed (and some continue to exist), and their ideology contributed to countless human right abuses.

According to Iceman:

“One's rank in society will be directly tied to the strength of one's meta ability. Beyond sheer strength, life has no value.”

For Social Darwinists, one’s rank in society already signifies their ability and strength. The wealthy were fit, the poor were unfit. And because social stratification wasn’t only due to class/wealth... The idea would come to include: individuals without disabilities were fit, those with disabilities weren’t; Western societies were fit, other non-western cultures weren’t; and one race above all was fit, other races weren’t.

“[Some] life has no value” was often the conclusion. This would lead to eugenics - making sure only the ‘right’ people would reproduce - and that turned into policies such as marriage prohibitions, forced sterilization, and euthanasia. The most notorious example is Nazi Germany; but the United States deserve a mention for having a huge movement that influenced the Nazis; Imperial Japan dabbled in it; and many other countries.

Here are the actual facts. Evolution is a law of nature - it’s the change in the characteristics of a populationover time. Natural selection is how evolution occurs - some characteristics that can be passed down from parent to offspring allow the individuals to survive better in a particular environment and reproduce. Because they are able to have kids, who also survive, those characteristics will become common in a population.

It’s really important to understand that evolution is just change. Evolution has no purpose and no goal and no foresight. There are no ‘higher-evolved’ creatures, there is no endpoint that accumulates into an ‘ultimate being’. Natural selection isn’t picking out the ‘best’ traits - it’s simply that some traits happen to give an advantage in survival in a particular environment and so they are passed on.

“The gazelle has evolved longer legs to better escape predators”

is more

“Gazelles with slightly longer legs hada slightly better chance of surviving to reproductive age, andthus came to dominate the population.”

BTW, ‘fitness’ in a biology context means “an individual’s ability to produce viable offspring”. If Iceman had his balls chopped off before he ever had any kids, he’s not fit anymore. He lost the ‘survival of the fitness’ contest.

A funny and often overlooked thing: the ‘strength’ that the MLA believe in, is subjective. Are we classifying quirks by combat power? Flexibility of usage? Impact on people? And they know that some quirks do better in some environments, and others in other environments, right? Oh, but I have a feeling they’re not generous enough to figure out what quirks are most powerful in what environment.

Iceman is no doubt very powerful and strong right now in Deika City, where he has access to ice, and to water to produce more ice. So what happens when you stick him in a desert, or any other arid place? And put him up against someone who can manipulate sand?

And what about having a quirk that isn’t ‘strong’, but becomes one when combined with a clever and strategic mind? Mr. Compress’ quirk is odd, not immediately obvious that it can be dangerous; but he’s demonstrated he can toss boulders at cars and rip off limbs.

Should Iceman be defeated by someone with a small, quiet quirk because he didn’t go to fucking school and learn, idk, physics, and the person did, I guess he deserves to die?

Or what about a quirk like one that allows a person to be immune to diseases? Not immediately demonstrable? When a plague comes, they’ll be the strongest person in the city.

A bunch of megalomaniacs with flawed, unsustainable ideas - that’s the MLA. Their society would’ve been shambles.

I wanna talk about the ‘law of the jungle’ the MLA has, in comparison to the League of Friends Villains’ apparent policy of ‘we don’t really care about your quirk, just be loyal and willing to kill and become part of Shigaraki’s harem and we’ll find a way for you to help.’

As cruel and driven by ruthless self-interest as humans can be, people can also be so incredibly kind and compassionate. Selfishness may have been a part of human evolution, but so was/is empathy and altruism.

There is the idea of aggressive cavemen society that weed out the weak - including the ‘deformed’, the old; but archeology also has evidence that early humans and hunter-gatherer groups loved and cared for their disabled, had helped them and each other survive. In some tribes, the old people past reproductive age might be frail and unable to work as much, but they served an essential function: transmitting culture. Watching the children, teaching socialization and language, telling the stories that will be retold again and again. The traits we consider to be ‘human’.

Culling or accommodation.

Twice - with a paper bag over his head, afraid of getting hurt, was limited in his quirk usage, trying to recover from a traumatic event - was readily recruited into the League of Villains. He - according to himself - wasn’t able to do much, so he helped out in anyway he can, and he became the League’s most loyal member. He was allowed to set his boundaries, allowed to be himself, and allowed to go at things in his own way.

The MLA wouldn’t have done any of that. Helping, finding alternatives, accepting, nothing like that for Twice. Just look at the MLA’s attempted ‘recruitment’ of Twice - break him down psychologically, force him to use his quirk in the way the leaders would want, probably kill him had he been too troublesome. Instead of succeeding, it backfired on them badly.

“Embrace your ‘meta-ability’, live as you like, and be free to be themselves” is the supposed values of the MLA. The problem is, they put too much weight on quirks, on training them and using them and judging each other by them. All their focus is on the ability, as if it was a single separate thing - and they forgot to look at the human that ultimately controls that ability.

Anyways! I hope the League are able to reunite and completely wreck these mega-idiots and break Redestro’s stupid L-shaped fingers and steal all their resources!!! Ahhhhh I love the League of Villains!!!

#League of Villains #Meta Liberation Army #bnha #mha #heroaca #asked #answered #nalslastworkingbraincell #sorry i'm really passionate about these stuff #also #did I spend a good chunk of my day writing this?#yes #i'll added sources another time #i'm so #tired #shinakiraarts

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butchedyke · 6 years ago

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(for the char thing) stanley uris, mike hanlon, and patty blum

migz!!!! i’m sorry i abandoned this in favour of video games and capitalism i hope i can make it up to u uwu

this is mostly going off the movies but there’s occasional book and miniseries input- i’ve only read the first few chapters, a few wikia pages, and some character meta from the book and i’ve only seen the miniseries once vs the however many times ive watched the movies in the last 2 months so don’t expect consistency between canons

(also i’m gonna put these under a cut because this post got really long)

stanley uris

How I feel about this character:

there is a reason i use the tag baby boy for stan (and also for miniseries eddie)!!!! he’s my favourite loser other than eddie and i want to like. hold him and make sure he’s happy and healthy and i think stephen king should treat his characters better.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

patty!!!!! their relationship in the book makes me so happy and anyone who’s ever spoken to me about stanpat knows that i am at all times thinking about how she calls his car sedanley.

that being said, i respect stenbrough, stanlon, and streddie but overall this is a stanpat household

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

stan with all the losers but especially richie! which isn’t very original since they are literally best friends but their dynamic!!! good!!!! i’ve not been able to stop thinking about that one scene from the miniseries where richie introduces stan as “this is stan the man uris, he’s a jew,” partially because it’s fucking funny because who says that richie what the fuck, but also because stan just instantly follows up by saying that richie has a high metabolism which makes him hyperactive, and maybe it’s because the miniseries is campy and a little bit shit but the delivery of those lines makes it seem like they do this a lot! they have these introductions ready to go! and i love the idea of them as a platonic package deal even if we don’t get to see much of that in the movies

My unpopular opinion about this character:

i don’t think i really have any? i tend to follow people who hold the same opinions as me tho so i have no idea what’s popular outside of that dshfk

i mean i do think fics that save eddie but not stan aren’t really fix-its and going off the amount of fics where stan’s still dead i guess that’s somehow an unpopular opinion? i know everyone’s focused on reddie rn but god like. stan is right there can we stop ignoring him pls

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

i mean the most blatantly obvious answer here is that i wish he didn’t die! he should’ve gotten to go on his holiday and rail/get railed by his wife and live to meet his friends as adults, catch up on the 27 years they didn’t get to be with each other. he should’ve gotten to have kids, once everything was over, and they should’ve been able to grow up with 5 extra uncles and an aunt bc u can’t tell me the rest of the losers wouldn’t be deeply embedded in their lives. i just wish stan had a chance to be completely, 100% happy without the underlying terror of his childhood.

on a smaller note i also wish we’d gotten to see more of his interest in birds in the movies bc like. he’s babie. and who knows! maybe would’ve helped stop the perception that his entire personality is just being a bitch that hates richie jshfd

mike hanlon

How I feel about this character:

part of the reason i wanted to read the book was for more mike content because i adore this lil farm boy and the movies. well. y’know. :). characters who just openly and whole-heartedly love their friends and go straight ride or die like 10 minutes after meeting them have my whole heart! he’s so smart and so kind and just wanted to protect his friends as best he could even though he dragged them into this whole mess bc he doesn’t want to lose them again!!!! mike deserves the whole world and if his way of getting that is by getting out of derry and getting to know that his friends remember and love him and each other then that’s all i want for him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

i wasn’t overly set on any particular mike ship until i watched the miniseries and saw the homoerotic bike montage and now i’m fully on the hanbrough train. choo choo.

just like with stan i support stanlon but endgame hanbrough is just. it’s right there in the text. bill didn’t divorce audra for nothing in ch2.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

this also kinda ties in with the last point, but jane @billdenbrough opened my eyes, in the middle of a very in-depth conversation about audra’s minion strap, to the world of best friends mike and audra who are both with bill which is both galaxy brained and an incredibly good concept which i think about a lot

also i think mike and ben could’ve had something Incredibly soft if mike wasn’t treated like a background character in the first film and a quest-giving npc in the second one :) :)

My unpopular opinion about this character:

i headcanon mike as gay, i have no textual evidence for this, i just think he’s neat. i think it’s a pretty popular opinion that the movies treated him poorly? and i also think that in ch2 he was just trying to protect his friends in a scenario that did not lend itself at all to protection. drugging bill and not telling the others about the full ritual might not have been the best thing to do, but he was in a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, and he was trying his best to save his friends no matter how impossible it may have been.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

i uh :) i don’t know if anyone’s figured out yet :) that i wish many things had happened with mike in canon :) :) the first film doesn’t give him much but the second film just infuriates me completely tbqh! he’s basically entirely there to push the narrative (his dialogue doesn’t even sound like dialogue! it sounds like prose explaining the plot and the next steps the characters have to take!), or to drug and lie to his friends. i wish they’d kept his backstory the same, that we’d actually gotten to see him find his token, that he’d gotten a token relevant to him as an individual rather than the group, that we’d gotten a flashback for him, that he was given more screentime and development across both films, like... i wish he’d been treated like the other losers and not a plot point.

i also wish we’d gotten to see him on his travels post-canon, seeing the other losers, and just generally actually getting to be happy- we see the start of it but god i just want to see him having a good time outside of derry.

patty blum

How I feel about this character:

if she were not stan’s wife she would be my wife. we don’t get to see much of her in the movie or miniseries and that is a fucking crime!!!! i’ve already mentioned sedanley but like. sedanley. i’ve read patty’s bit in the book and that’s all i need the other 1100 pages can get fucked, she’s just here to watch family feud and love stan which i can confidently say is a huge fucking mood

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

STAN. i guess i already talked about this before but i’ll keep going!!! my love for stanpat overwhelms my usual distaste towards straight relationships bc they’re so good!!!!! the fact that they’re really the only happy relationship to come out of the 27 year gap and they love each other so much and so like... wholesomely? but they still blow each other’s backs out on the reg and it’s what they deserve.

also i sometimes think about patty/audra as like. kind of a crack ship kind of a “i’m a lesbian and i’m desperate to see lesbians” ship. i haven’t thought about it in depth i just want to plant the seed

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

stan introducing patty to the losers and patty becoming an honorary loser is my weakness!!!! patty being comfortable enough to rib richie (and richieandeddie) with stan, but also vice versa going along with richie’s bits. patty and bev getting close because as much as st*phen k*ng and co push bev as One Of The Boys(tm) there’s just something in having another woman around that can be refreshing especially when they’re both bicons. patty and mike enthusiastically sharing holiday pictures and tales of their trips. patty noticing when eddie’s having a bad day, whether it’s anxiety or lingering trauma, and supporting him through it, regaling him with stories about stan and what essentially amount to dad jokes (sedanley!!!) and making sure he knows he’s loved and supported by all the losers. patty, the teacher, and ben, lunchtimes-in-the-library ben who never outgrew his love of reading, nerding out over shit that the others don’t really know about. bill telling patty all about what stan was like as a kid in that way only bill can, richie chiming in with crude comments sometimes but noticeably keeping quieter than usual, and patty returning the favour, telling them about the last 27 years, and not even richie makes a single joke when everyone tears up (because he’s tearing up the most). stan sitting there the whole time not even bothering to point out that he’s right there because it’s enough for him to see the romantic love of his life and the platonic loves of his life bonding, and yeah, maybe it was worth sticking around for.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

i don’t know if this is unpopular but patty pegs. that’s all.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

more patty. let me see my wife.

#eddiekissbrak #migz this has literally taken me hours i hope ur happy #i can't remember if the book specifies what patty teaches so i'm taking some liberties because i don't care what stephen king has to say #kinda went off the shits with patty there rip #i'm also like. not good with thoughts or with words so im sorry if this is underwhelming dgfhjsk

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years ago

Text

Michael After Midnight: TGWTG Anniversary Crossovers

I think enough time has passed where I can talk about these films without looking like I’m jumping on a trend.

Back when it was, you know, an actual thing, Channel Awesome would every so often gather together and make a big-as anniversary film to celebrate the site. The movies would always be these massive doorstoppers where everyone would be running around in Halloween costumes of whatever character they liked the most that fit the theme and fighting some random villain. None of this ever really tied in to their work, and none of this even remotely had anything to do with reviews. It was all just hanging around with friends and having dumb fun, and when I was younger I kind of just accepted that.

But certain revelations have made that dubious. No one was having fun making these. Everyone was miserable, except perhaps Doug Walker, who was just utterly oblivious to the plight of his coworkers. There was seedy stuff going on, people were pretty much being tortured and abused, and it’s a wonder anyone was ever able to feign enjoyment in any of their scenes. And looking back on these movies I used to remember fondly, I have to say… they kind of really, legitimately suck ass. These three films – Kickassia, Suburban Knights, and To Boldly Flee – are just legitimately painful and depressing to sit through, for reasons both meta and writing-wise.

The biggest problem with all of them is their humor, which is a pretty big problem when you’re starring a bunch of comedians, some of whom can be legitimately funny. The worst bits tend to revolve around the mind-boggling number of references they cram into each script; To Boldly Flee and Suburban Knights are much worse in this regard, as they have all of the actors literally dressed up as their favorite characters, but there are two examples of this sort of thing that shine as the worst examples of all. The first is Lindsay Ellis doing a Sarah Palin impersonation in Kickassia; Palin was such a flash-in-the-pan politician that it instantly dates the whole movie, and I don’t know if it was just bad writing, lack of direction, or what, but Ellis just fails to make this joke work at all. Like I know I can’t expect this to be as funny as Iron Sky’s Palin riffing, but still, it’s just sad.

The absolute worst, however, is JO in To Boldly Flee as Ed from Cowboy Bepob… at least that’s who I think he’s supposed to be playing. I know nothing about Cowboy Bebop and have outright refused to ever watch it because if Ed is anything like how JO played her, I’m going to fucking hate the whole show, Steve Blum and Melissa Fahn be damned. JO’s portrayal is whiny, hyper, annoying, manic, obnoxious… there’s not a single positive thing that can be said. His performance of the character is pretty much the poster child for just how absolutely awful these movies could get.

There’s also a lot of jokes where the punchline is basically just “this guy’s body/genitalia is funny, teehee.” Suburban Knights and To Boldly Flee have some truly awful examples of this, such as the numerous upskirts Doug Walker gets as Link and the infamous Spoony Dune scene. But even that isn’t the worst of it. The worst of it comes from the frequent states of near-nudity that Justin “JewWario” Carmichael would find himself in throughout these films. To Boldly Flee has him channeling George Takei and fencing without his shirt on, which is bad enough, but Suburban Knights has perhaps the worst scene of all, in any of these films, though only with hindsight.

For those of you not familiar, JewWario was outed as a creepy sexual predator during the whole #ChangeTheChannel fiasco. The guy groomed young women and did god knows what else during his time on the site, with none of his coworkers any the wiser and the management doing their best to cover it up; in fact, everyone only found out because the suits who owned CA made a huge blunder during their rebuttal of the claims of its former employees. With all of that context, please try and rewatch Suburban Knights’ climax in which JewWario helps save the day by revealing his penis to everyone. This right here is Keyser Soze levels of “uncomfortable in hindsight.”

The stories aren’t much better, and often fall into the same sort of issues that The Angry Video Game Nerd movie fell into, in that nothing in these films really showcases why we love the reviewers; Kickassia infamously has the Dr. Insano twist, as one example of how they botched this. All of these movies just feel too epic in scope and don’t really try to incorporate anything that we love about these reviewers into the films. Only To Boldly Flee really does anything right in that regard, as it throws back to everything from oneshot Nostalgia Critic villains to the Todd-Lindsay-Lupa love triangle to Phelous dying… the real problem is you have to actually sit through To Boldly Flee to see that. The movies go for these epic plots where the reviewers do cool shit like take over micronations (Kickassia), quest for powerful artifacts (Suburban Knights), or deal with extremely heavy-handed and hamfisted allegories for internet privacy bills (To Boldly Flee). You’d think maybe throwing a bunch of comedians into an epic plot like any of these could lead to some funny jokes, or maybe some sort of Monty Python-esque parody, but no, instead these comedians decide to revel in melodrama and try to genuinely act, with EXTREMELY mixed results. It doesn’t help that some of these people just aren’t even remotely funny when they’re trying to be.

Here’s the thing with The Angry Video Game Nerd’s movie, in comparison to these, though: it may have had this epic, ridiculous, goofy plot involving Area 51, kaiju, aliens, and crappy Atari games buried in a landfill, but the entire plot was building up to, and ultimately delivered on, the promise of the long-awaited review of the E.T. game. For all the film’s flaws, Rolfe knew what we loved about the Nerd, he knew what the fans wanted, and by god did he give it to them in the silliest, most epic way possible. Even if I didn’t love the film, the fact Rolfe knew why we’d want to see a feature-length Nerd film in the first place speaks volumes about how he understands that he can do what will make him happy artistically and still show the fans what they want to see.

These movies from the Channel Awesome crew don’t seem to get that at all. They don’t build up to a review. They don’t build up to them discovering the worst movie or song or whatever they review. They’re all very straightforward genre comedies where they can make a bunch of shallow, Seltzer & Friedberg-esque “Look at this thing that exists! That’s a joke right?” references. Aside from seeing your favorite reviewers in a goofy plot like this, where is there any bit of the reason you watch these people in the first place? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they were playing characters instead of them playing themselves, in their internet reviewer personas; at least then you wouldn’t be watching Brad Jones stumbling around in a Darth Vader helmet and think to yourself miserably “God I wish that poor guy was watching another E.T. porno.”

So there are some positives in these films, shockingly enough. Brad Jones is consistently good across the entire ‘trilogy,’ especially in Kickassia where he has the good sense to walk out on all the bullshit for a while. Maybe it’s just because these films got me interested in him, but I definitely think he does a good job. The same can be said for a lot of the actors, such as the bad guy in Suburban Knights and Ma-Ti’s actor; they manage to deliver at least solid performances in spite of the films. And then there are the James Rolfe cameos, and it’s just always good to see Rolfe in general.

To Boldly Flee, despite its reputation, actually has a lot of genuinely good bits. For instance, the distraction song is actually a really solid musical number. Linkara, Doug, and Spoony actually play really well off of each other, so when they have their three idiot villains team up they at least get some decently good moments. And other reviewers I generally like such as Phelous or Todd do a solid job, and frankly in To Boldly Flee Doug Walker does show some impressive dramatic acting… but it’s in service of a character who has previously been portrayed as a petulant, whiny, self-serving, egotistical manchild, so it almost feels like he’s playing a totally different character. Still, credit where credit is due.

None of these films succeed at what they want to. Ostensibly, they are supposed to be celebrating the site and the friendship of the reviewers, but as I mentioned, there’s no reviewing, there’s nothing that indicates what the site is about, and they all just come off as ego-stroking self-congratulatory wanking. None of these films were worth the pain and suffering that the cast and crew had to go through to produce these, and watching them at all these days is especially hard knowing that a lot of these people are smiling and joking through pain, stress, and abuse. It’s sick.

Kickassia may be the most competent, but that isn’t saying much at all. Aside from the whole Palin bit, this one has a simple, straightforward plot and is relatively down-to-earth, and it almost feels like it really was just a bunch of friends making a shitty low budget action movie in the desert… something sadly undermined by reality. Suburban Knights is probably one of the most uncomfortable to sit through due to jokes like Film Brain saying he’d eat Kinley Mochrie’s “pea-ness” (this was before she came out mind you) and the numerous jokes surrounding JewWario’s junk, but it almost works, like it nearly comes close to being a dumb epic fantasy comedy, but it just frequently shoots itself in the foot with the bad writing and acting and its overreliance on references.

To Boldly Flee is, to put it absolutely simple, a hot mess. This film is an utter trainwreck from start to finish. It is the Battlefield Earth of internet review movies, a bloated, messy, overly long dumpster fire with some of the most nightmarish behind-the-scenes stories and horrendous financial mismanagement you could ever imagine. But where Battlefield Earth is at least unintentionally funny, this film… is not. This film just makes you feel bad for everyone involved, it makes your heart ache for all the poor reviewers who had to suffer under the miserable conditions, it makes you question Doug Walker’s sanity in thinking he could turn his screeching manchild of a reviewer into some tragic martyr in a total 180 from how he had always been portrayed prior. None of these three films are worth sitting through, but I think To Boldly Flee is, with hindsight, the one least worth sitting through, which is a truly incredible accomplishment.

It’s kind of tragic. I still like a lot of the reviewers who took part in these – Todd, Linkara, Phelous, Brad Jones, and even Doug to some extent (though that’s an unpopular opinion these days) – but I just can’t muster up any forgiveness for these films anymore. And I don’t blame any of the people in it (except maybe Doug); most of them were there out of obligation or friendship or what have you. These films are just a monument to hubris, ignorance, broken friendships, horrible management, and wanton cruelty to those who called you friends.

See that picture up there at the top? With all of them gathered together like friends? God, how I wish that were the reality. How I wish that picture accurately reflected life, that they were all pals having a good time and that these films were something they were proud of. But behind that picture are stories all of them could tell of hurt, betrayal, resentment, anger, contempt, and some very unspeakable things in Carmichael’s case. I wish the sort of world a surface level glance at that picture shows you existed, where the crew of TGWTG all had a blast making these shitty movies together, because at least in that case I could find a sort of ironic enjoyment in them. But reality has gone out of its way to undermine any of that.

#Michael After Midnight #Review #Movie review #Channel Awesome #TGWTG #That Guy with the Glasses #Kickassia #Suburban Knights #To Boldly Flee #Internet reviewers

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que-pasa-calabasa · 6 years ago

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que-pasa-calabasa’s Good Omens fic rec masterpost

In no particular order, except for the fact that I’m putting all the PWP (or close approximations thereof) together at the bottom. Some will be not be show-canon compliant as they predate the release. Summaries are copy-pasted from the ao3 summary; italics are my own commentary added.

is it that we are dying? (5k, G): England, 1349, the middle of the 14th century. The black death rages, and Aziraphale has to help a dying demon escape from a church. Sad and sweet, completely indulgent hurt/comfort

Don’t Play With Holy Water (30k, M): When the Bentley goes missing, Crowley isn't sure what to make of it. Unbeknownst to him, a certain lurking demon is waiting to settle an old score... A wild ride full of peril and body-swapping, Aziraphale is a BAMF

Mirror, Mirror (44k, T): Adam, Eve, and Crawly flee Eden through the Western Gate, and it turns out that that simple decision makes all the difference in the world... Parallel-universe Crowley is hilariously evil, regular-degular Crowley takes a turn as the bad-ass

with my mind on my money (and my money on my mind) (3k, T): Mr. Fell was as eccentric as Tim might expect a rare book dealer with a connoisseur's knowledge of cannabis strains to be, and he couldn't help being fond of him. Aziraphale and Crowley do weed, what more is there to say?

In which Adam challenges Crowley to a drinking contest and it is a terrible idea (1k, T): It is a rather foolish thing to set a bet with the devil, or even with a devil, unless you have an ace—or better yet, all the aces in the deck—up your sleeve.But if you are the Antichrist, the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Spawn of Satan, etc., etc., well…you were born with all the aces up your sleeve, and the only admonishment you need is “Have fun, kiddo, and don’t screw him over too hard.” Pure humor, entertaining drunk!Crowley

Game Over, Insert Coin (14k, M): An Account of Certain Events occurring in the Groundhog Day AU no one asked for, in strict accordance as shall be shewn with Narrative Interference of an (Un)predictable Nature for the Sleepless Reader. Exactly what it says on the tin, all your normal Groundhog Day AU angst

A Matter of Convenience (12k, T): “You know,” Crowley rasped as he struggled to scrape himself off the ground, “I can't shake the feeling that there must be an easier way to go about this.”A possible take on the birth of the Arrangement. There’s some sadness, some historical fun, and some Hurt Boys (tm)

Rarefied Air (3k, E): Earth is getting older, news is getting worse, and an angel has to go to extreme heights to get any peace and quiet at all. But as close as you can get to Heaven, you're still never far from Hell. (Hell hasn't frozen. Crowley nearly has.) There’s explicit sex in this but it’s so much more than PWP

Dark and Stormy Night (or Never Underestimate an Angel) (5k, T): “Hmph. I suppose you think that, just because I’m an angel, that I’m too tame to read a scary story properly?” Silly and cute, Crowley and Aziraphale are weird godfathers to the Them

The Curse of Horemheb (66k, M): “The locals call her Bibân el Molûk, but she’s better known as the Valley of the Kings.”Or: Aziraphale and Crowley run into each other in Luxor in 1908 and find themselves confronted with the consequences of actions three thousand years old. Sprawling multi-era adventure with some good fun tropes

off the record (8k, T): Crowley has to submit a biannual report, but there are some things that he often neglects to include. Cute, sweet almost-meta on the natures of Crowley and Aziraphale

A Sticker Situation (1k, G): Everyone's favorite angel and demon are innocently driving past a gas station when Crowley notices a giveaway that he absolutely must participate in. Crowley is a huge James Bond nerd

Under the Apple Tree (6k, T): Crowley finds himself in a tight spot, and Aziraphale dares to hope his help could turn into something more. Devastating, if you like tragic hurt/comfort this is the one for you

Essentially Social Chameleons (2k, G): In short, Aziraphale and Crowley are not as good at blending in with mortals as they think they are. There are better places to discover this than Newton and Anathema's baby's christening, but, well, we're here now. Very silly, one my my favorite genres (humans are confused by Crowley and Aziraphale)

the bucket list (13k, E): There was a certain look that Aziraphale wore occasionally—a pinched sort of moue that looked like he’d just taken a very large mouthful of cinnamon—which meant he thought Crowley was being ridiculous. He had put it on.“Hang on,” he had said. “You want us to do human things?” *If you're going to go native, you might as well go all the way. Crowley and Aziraphale decide to try some fun human things, there’s some obvious smut but it’s not what it’s really about

Milton Was Right (1k, T): Adam knows where most babies come from, but is pretty sure that doesn't apply to him. Aziraphale and Crowley show their usual levels of competence in explaining where antichrists come from. Just...extremely funny

it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it) (5k, T): It's like having a curtain pulled back on something he wasn't expecting to see. A surprise punch-and-judy at an up-scale restaurant, a lobster thermidor when he's ordered an ale.Crowley's gleefully trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aziraphale is speaking Polari. Because of course he is. Or: The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho. One of my favorites

HERE BE SMUT

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking (5k, E): It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin. Also what it says on the tin, Crowley jacks off while Aziraphale sort of helps

Come Fuck Me Hips (5k, E): Crowley has had a fantasy about Aziraphale for centuries now. Too bad the angel would never take him up on it. Except, as it turns out, he absolutely would. Crowley’s a bottom and Aziraphale is a service top, this is pretty much the only dynamic I accept

I Was Born to Love You (28k, E): Crowley shows up to take Aziraphale to lunch, and for the first time in quite a good while, he flashes just a bit of ankle. And that's how it all begins. Fun banter, hot sex

The Mysteries of Ladies’ Knickers (2k, E): Somewhere in the fall of 1963, Aziraphale was issued a new body. Later, he was never entirely sure if the mix-up following the assignment of its replacement was intentional or purely accidental. He had his suspicions. Crowley was not sure how to feel about it. It’s hot, Aziraphale is a woman temporarily, there’s sex, you know the drill

Love Hath Made Thee a Tame Snake (3k, E): He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing. Kind of borderline fluff/smut, the first half is mostly cute snake!Crowley

Killer Queen (2k, E): In hindsight, Crowley reflected, it was probably not one of his best or brightest ideas to introduce a six-thousand-year-old virgin to the subtle and intricate matters of sexual intercourse. Things could, frankly speaking, get a little out of hand. (Or, Aziraphale has a sexual awakening.) Oh God, hilarious and sexy, Aziraphale treats sex like food and wants to try aLL THE THINGS

Tryst on a Hot Church Roof (2k, E): Crowley has some fantasies. Aziraphale encourages him to explore them and not to be embarrassed. Neither of them can really take roleplay seriously but they still have a good time. Those nerds trying to sexily roleplay and failing is one of my fav tropes

#good omens #fic rec

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 7 years ago

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It’s (Not) Over, Isn’t It? Chapter Three

Chapter Masterlist

Virgil couldn’t believe it. He just...couldn’t believe it. He had checked his Tumblr dash before going to his classes and was stunned to find a hastily-drawn doodle of Amethyst as some sort of flower all over his dash, coming from gayerthanyxu, but originating from none other than i-will-physically-fight-you. And he wasn’t sure whether to be more exasperated or elated that this was building up so much.

i-will-physically-fight-you had been his ultimate friend crush for quite some time, and Virgil frequently sent anonymous asks, signing them with the little devil emoji. He had been jealous of when Patton announced sherlock-deserved-better was his fandom child, but if Patton was happy that was all that really mattered to Virgil. But now Roman was also sharing the spotlight with Patton, and they’d get closer, and all Virgil would ever be was this tiny little anon, a blip in Patton’s radar and nothing more.

He had stewed in his own self-pity for the entirety of his morning classes, and now he was eating lunch, looking at Patton’s blog, and trying to quell his shaking hands and hammering heart. Because he, in a moment of weakness, sent Patton an ask saying he was worried that because of all of this, he would be forgotten, and Patton said he never would be, no matter what. But Virgil still considered revealing who he was, nonetheless. Because that, at least, would mean that Patton couldn’t forget him.

His own username taunted him in Patton’s askbox, the simple message, I am 😈, hope you don’t mind my showing my face, mocking him.

Screw it. Virgil was not one to be mocked and he had always been impulsive underneath his panic disorder. He pushed the ask button and the cheery message informing him it had been sent popped up. His heart was hammering harder now, and he wasn’t expecting much of a response for a while, so he had plenty of time to panic. Or so he thought, anyway.

As soon as he moved to his dash, he saw trashcan-icannot in an ask on Patton’s blog. But more than anything else, Patton’s response made him want to choke on his sandwich. ohmygoodness hello!!! i love love LOVE your blog, it’s so cool that you’re talking to me! please feel free to send me more asks, i love you so much (platonically, of course! <3)

Virgil thought he might faint. A grin split his face. Patton...didn’t mind! Moreover, Patton thought he was cool! He thought he just might die of happiness then and there. He sent Patton a message.

trashcan-icannot: is a message equivalent to an ask?

The response he got was immediate.

i-will-physically-hug-you: yes, yes it is! i love your blog, and all your work! it’s so good, your fanfiction brings tears to my eyes!

trashcan-icannot: oh my gosh you’re going to make me blush so hard my face catches fire. i’m glad you’re a fan, though. i love your blog more than words can say <3

i-will-physically-hug-you: well, we’re just two regular nerds, huh? this is cool!

trashcan-icannot: i never thought i would do this tbh. the only reason i did was because i was worried between logan and roman you’d forget about me

i-will-physically-hug-you: aww, i could never forget you! you were my first friend in this fandom, there’s no way i could EVER forget about you!

Virgil smiled despite himself.

trashcan-icannot: you were my first friend on tumblr, period. i never was that good at socializing

i-will-physically-hug-you: i was pretty good at making friends when i was younger but now it’s kinda hard. between transphobes and misinformed allies most of my friends are in the campus LGBT club

Virgil sighed. That resonated so similarly to his own story that it hurt.

trashcan-icannot: well, now we definitely have each other, huh? and i think we share a timezone?

i-will-physically-hug-you: gmt -5, right?

trashcan-icannot: yeah, that’s mine

i-will-physically-hug-you: yeah, mine too. this is awesome!!!

trashcan-icannot: i love your enthusiasm

i-will-physically-hug-you: i love that you’re not scared by it! XP

trashcan-icannot: why would i be scared of it? it’s endearing!

i-will-physically-hug-you: most people are scared off by my enthusiasm

trashcan-icannot: most people are morons, imho. don’t listen to them

i-will-physically-hug-you: i guess you have a point, though the way you said it seemed kinda harsh...

trashcan-icannot: eh. I’M naturally kinda harsh. it’s part of my charm ;)

i-will-physically-hug-you: you’re really funny! do you have a discord?

trashcan-icannot: ??? yes?

i-will-physically-hug-you: can i send you a link to my su server? i think it would be a lot more fun and positive with you there, and i’d love to get to know you better where i can actually read the messages easily. tumblr mobile is a pain

trashcan-icannot: sure, go ahead and link me. what’s the worst that could happen?

i-will-physically-hug-you: yay! okay, give me a second…

Virgil finished his sandwich and drummed his fingers on his laptop. His anxiety was catching up to him. Sure, people liked his fanfics and they might be nice to him on Discord, but what if they weren’t? He’d only ever used it with fellow writers before, who understood that he could be a bit of a recluse and didn’t take it personally when he decided he didn’t want to talk much that day.

The link popped up and Virgil gulped. Well, he couldn’t back down now. He clicked the link and was taken to his Discord app, where he accepted the invitation to join The Crystal Gems and saw that the server was not huge, but by no means small. There had to be about forty people total.

Responses to him joining were immediate.

Opal: Oh, new person! Hello!

Peridot: fresh blood! fresh blood! fresh blood!

Papa Patton: heya virgil! hop over into #introductions real quick and then feel free to talk as much as you want! i have class in a few minutes, but i hope to talk to you more soon!

virgilent: okay, yeah, i can do that. talk later.

Papa Patton: great! :) :P

Virgil shook his head at the emoticons and went into the introductions channel, quickly filling out the necessary information. Virgil, he/him, over 18, and the extra tidbit that he was trashcan-icannot and was a fic writer for the fandom. That done, he went back to the general chat and looked at the conversation before he had joined. Apparently they were arguing over sherlock-deserved-better’s latest meta.

virgilent: you guys know that the significance of opal’s weapon really doesn’t matter much to the overall show?

Opal: oh yeah, we know. it’s just fun to debate theories over meta

virgilent: can’t really argue with that

Peridot: so you’re trashcan-icannot huh? what’s it like being a big fic writer in the fandom?

virgilent: exhausting :P i can’t go a day without some idea popping into my head and i never have the time to write everything. you should see my unfinished docs list

The conversation continued until Virgil realized he had to get ready for his next class, but by the end of it, he was smiling. This was actually really fun. He was glad he revealed himself to Patton, now.

Dare he say...he might have even gotten a new friend out of it?

#it's (not) over isn't it?#sanders sides fanfiction #virgil sanders #patton sanders #our creations

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austarus · 7 years ago

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Team Flash College/University Headcanon

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner(s).

Haha this came up in a Wells Trash Trio conversation. I’d love to dedicate this to @darlingpetao3 and @worldonlyconsultingasgardian (@central-city-meta-pocalypse ). I love you both so much and I hope this makes your day. Thank you for everything you two have done for me. 😗😘😙😚

Barry being the awkward, but adorable Forensics Science Major that likes to walk around campus

Caitlin’s the quiet, responsible BioChem Major, who enjoys some silence in the library

Cisco’s the energetic and funny Engineer Major, enjoying movies and Sci-Fi references

You were undecided, but after spending so much time with these guys you found your true calling

All four starting out as freshmen

You bumped into these three dorks trying to find one of the science labs (you were all in the same science class)

There was just something about all 4 of you that made things work

Becoming best friends and always making plans together

Cisco jokingly dubbing you guys Team Flash (he’s a comic book nerd)

Movie Nights at Cisco’s (he has like almost every good movie out there)

Also playing video games with Barry and Cisco

Disapproving looks from Caitlin

Meeting Iris, Joe, and Wally through Barry

Iris hanging out with you guys sometimes

You and Caitlin notice Barry’s huge crush on Iris

Slowly pushing them together until they end up going out

Mission Success!

Shenanigans, shenanigans, and even more shenanigans

Wally’s a high school student so sometimes he’ll drop by to say hi

Joe’s a campus cop, so he’s always looking out for you all

Also giving great life advice, because he knows what he’s talking about

Hanging out at Barry house and having Game Nights

Study sessions at Caitlin’s where she tries to help you all study (and focus) for exams

Watching out for each other and standing up for one another

Cisco crushing on Cynthia (the new girl)

You and Barry set him up with her

Mission Success!

Caitlin giving Cisco and Barry girl advice

EoWells is the nice (albeit scary) Dean that no one dares to mess with

Was a science teacher and can help with sciency stuff (but like everyone’s afraid of him)

He always looks like he as some sort of secret (probably does actually)

Barry totally not liking him (at all)

The one person that apparently everyone avoids at all costs

Will sometimes see what your group’s up to

Harry’s the science teacher that doesn’t take any crap, but does care about his student’s learning

He gives you all a hard time at first

Literally criticizes you all about your work and exams

Until you sarcastically snap at him in class which gets him to smile a little

Later he warms up to you all and becomes part of the group

Group projects with the trio

Lab Partners!

Him and EoWells will silently glare at each other

They hate each other (that’s all there is to say)

HR is the French Teacher that actually doesn’t know French

But he’s too adorable to disappoint, so you all go along with it

HR being the fun and kind teacher that supports everyone

Always bringing everyone treats for their hard work

Has interesting stories and makes your groups day

HR joins the Team because you guys can tolerate him and his efforts

Harry and HR being your Team’s Academic advisors

Both being heavily overprotective of your group

Both of them disagreeing on stuff (they’re total opposites)

Meeting Julian and Ralph, who take an instant dislike to Barry

Which is funny since Barry’s always so nice and everything

They both warm up to your Team and later join

Julian crushing on Caitlin, in which you push him to ask her out

Mission success!

Huge study group so you all can work together and pass

Graduating together and throwing a huge party

Being one weird and happy family

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ellana-ravenwood · 8 years ago

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Three parts of a whole - Batman x Reader x Superman (Erotica)

Summary : The Batman, Superman and You are in a polyamory relationship, and it couldn’t be better. Well...Maybe it could.

I wrote this in twenty five minutes, and FUCK it’s a long story...Anyway, hope you’ll like it, I’m going to hide in a cave now :s :

IMPORTANT WARNING : THIS IS EROTICA ! THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE UNDERAGED, I GODDAMN MEAN IT. Like there’s cute and sweet feelings in the mix, but also...smut, so if you’re not 18 or more, or if you’re not comfortable with that sort of things etc etc, this story ain’t for you. I have tons of other very SFW story, for averyone to read, and if you wanna check those out instead, it’s right here, on My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives.

__________________________________________________

“What’s normal to the spider is chaos to the fly” was a line in one of your favorite TV show, The Addams Family.

And oh it kinda ruled your entire life !

You knew ever since you were three, and attending your first day of school, when you realized not everyone had two dads (some had what they called “moms” !) that what people called “normal”, would never fit you.

And oh as you grow up that fact only became more and more obvious.

It didn’t help either, that so many people would point out your differences constantly, like your two gay dads, your little birthmark that went from your forehead and over your eyes, your obsession with some unconventional things, the fact that you were a “nerd” etc etc...Oh everyone always made so many comments about how weird and different you were !

Everyone...but them. They never judge. Hell, they even understood. Because they weren’t “normal” either.

Come to think of it, it was probably what made you fall for them. Fall for them, hard. You smile at the memory of when you met them when a sound brings you back to reality. A rather obscene sound really...

Right. This is what sprout your mind thinking about how you weren’t “normal” compare to most people. What was happening right now.

You smile at the source of the sound, shaking your head slightly, and kiss it on the lips. Kiss him.

Clark Kent aka Superman, one of the love of your life, with whom you were talking about the Batman’s “O” face. Totally normal right ?”

Your kiss unfocused him from imitating Bruce’s orgasm face (and sound) and he tries to catch your mouth back with his, his tongue darting out of his lips, but you escape his grasp, crawling to the other side of the couch.

He pouts like a child at the loss of your warmth..it was so comfortable and cosy, to have you snuggled against him !

You wink at him and he melts a bit, but before he can chase after you or anything of the like, you say :

-I’m sorry Clark, but his “o” face isn’t quite like that. It’s more like...

You scrunch up your nose a little bit and clench your jaw tight...before rolling your eyes to the back of your skull, scrunching up your nose even more, and opening your mouth to let out a guttural and very unlady like growl of pleasure.

Clark was intently looking at you, from his side of the couch, and, clearly, was on the verge of bursting into tears of laughter.

-Hahahahaha yes ! Yes that’s it ! Even the little sexy groan !

You both start to laugh and imitate the mighty Batman’s face when he has an orgasm and...you don’t really know why it’s so funny really. Maybe it’s the fact that the two of you know him in another light than his usually so stoic and emotionless self ? You don’t really know...but it’s damn hilarious ! (And a bit sexy).

Clark high fives you after your amazing and so truthful to the original performance, and...it’s like you both can’t help it. As if all it takes is a single touch of each others’ skin and...

The high five never really stops, as Clark tangles his fingers with yours and pulls you on top of him.

Your lips connect instantly, as his free hand goes to settle on the small of your back and yours go flying around his shoulders. As often between the two of you, it turns heated, as his tongue brush your lips and you grant him access to your mouth.

The hand that’s on the small of your back creep under your shirt and slowly removes it, as you unbutto...

-I know it has been two months since you two last saw each others, but you could have waited for me...

You tear yourself off of Clark and turn your head to the side to see the other love of your life...Bruce Wayne, aka Batman.

There was a reason, you and Clark knew his “o” face so well.

And that reason was another proof your life wasn’t situated anywhere on the “normal” spectrum.

************

You met them thanks to Diana. She’s the one who found you. Gods bless her.

She saved you, and for that, she would always hold a special place in your heart. She quickly became like a sister to you. And everything started the day...The day...

Your life went completely South a Saturday.

It started off boringly fine and normal.

You woke up early to go to college, took breakfast with your dads, laughing at their silly antics (you always loved, how they would argue with each others over everything, and yet always seemed so fucking in love while doing so), and after kissing them goodbye went to catch your bus...You never got it.

You really were cursed to never live a normal life. Usually, this would have never bothered you but that day ? ...Oh that day.

Those loving “kisses good bye” on your fathers’ cheeks ? ...They were forever.

You’d never kiss their cheeks ever again. They’d never hold you, hug you during tough times. Reassure you that life would get better, and that being abnormal wasn’t so bad. You’d never see them again exchange loving looks, you’d never think : “I want a relationship just like theirs !” again while looking over them you’d never...you’d never see them again.

At least, they were gone together. Your beloved parents...tears always well up in your eyes when you think about them, and about that day.

An explosion. Not even from a super-villain or anything. No. The local gaz factory exploded, and wiped your entire little hometown.

And that’s when Diana found you.

Death and destruction was surrounding the demigoddess, and Wonder Woman was starting to loose hope of ever finding a survivor when...

Your screams. It’s your screams she heard. Of agony. But not as in you were hurt physically and were dying no...it’s your heart that was crying.

She found you, digging the remnant of your house, screaming “dad ! daaaaad !!” over and over again as the fire surrounding you seem to not harm you.

However, the crumbled wall of your house slowly falling in your direction would crush you, and on that day, you probably wish it had because..you just had lost your parents. The only one that ever understood you, and acted as if not being “normal” was the norm. The only one that never judged your weird taste (not even the fact that you’d eat pickles with peanut-butter) and antics. The only two persons you ever loved and...they were gone.

Just like that.

Because of a stupid accident.

The wall was falling when you turned to look at it, not even trying to get out of its way and...that’s when Diana found you. And saved you.

You didn’t seem hurt, but she took you to the hospital nonetheless and...never left your side. She stayed, even though she had things to do.

She stayed with you until you finally snapped out of your strange haze, of the shock of loosing your parents and then...Then she was there, to hold you in her arms, to let you soak her shirt with your tears.

That day, Diana Prince became one of the most precious being in your life and, thanks to her, you’d meet “the ones”.

************

It was obvious you were a meta-human.

Your entire town exploded, there were no survivors but...you, whose only wound was of the heart. Physically ? You were completely unscathed, except for a few bruises and cuts you got searching for the bodies of your parents in the ruins of your house.

Fireproof. And possibly invulnerable (Diana saved you from a heavy wall who could have crushed you and...you weren’t really up to try exactly the extend of your powers by letting anyone or anything trying to crush you !).

It was clear that you had no one else in your life, that this explosion took everything from you so...Diana did the only thing she could do. The only thing she had to do.

She brought you to the League.

And that’s when you met them.

Bruce and Clark.

Clark and Bruce.

The loves of your life.

************

You first met Clark, and it was like a huge firework.

Diana introduced you to him, and when your hands touched, already at that moment, way before anything started to happen between the two of you, the skin to skin contact was...something. Electrifying.

He smiled, and your heart beat wildly. In that instant, you almost forgot your dads...because Clark was a bright light and oh you wanted to just snuggle in his strong and safe arms, forever.

It was ridiculous, you knew it. But never ever in your life did you felt that kind of intensity when first meeting something. Never before in your life did you felt anything like that toward anyone really. “Love” and “relationships” weren’t really your thing...And here you were, swooning over a stranger.

A very handsome stranger, and oh just in his eyes, you could also see how sweet and nice he was.

You smiled to Clark and he felt like dying. How could someone be that beautiful ? That attractive ? He just couldn’t quite explain what it was he liked so much about you, what drawn him to you instantly...He just was.

Here you were, in front of him, and while Diana was talking about the circumstances of why you were here, and how horrible the all ordeal was...Clark couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at you, and damn it it was so awkward how he held your hand for so long !

But your skin on his...he wanted more.

And he felt disgusting for that. He felt like he was being such a pig for those thoughts but...You were just so different from anyone he met.

He couldn’t pinpoint what it was, that made you so special. But you were. You really were quite something. For a second, he thought maybe you were a meta-human able to control people’s feelings but...No. No that wasn’t it, and he knew. You were just...Abnormal. In the best of ways. In a way that made him feel relate to you, understand you instantly, without even knowing your name (a few seconds more and he would know. (Y/N), and oh it fitted you so well..).

Finally, he let go of your hand, and you don’t seem that weirded out by him and his odd and long handshake. No. You smile. And your smile is pure torture. Because he’s realizing that...oh he’s totally doomed.

Your arrival put him in a totally impossible situation.

His sudden...Whatever this was he felt toward you, a total stranger (attraction ? friendship ? love ?), was only trouble. Especially since it changed nothing of the fact that...He was in love. Not with you. Or maybe with you too ? How was that even possible ?! This was so absurd !

It made everything more complicated. No. He wasn’t in love with you, it was just a little phase he was going through because you were beautiful.

No. No no no. He wasn’t...in...love with you...He loved...He loves Bruce.

He couldn’t love you. Hell, he didn’t even know you !!

Unaware of the man you just met’s internal struggle (just because he touched your hand !!), you shyly smiled before bidding him farewell and following Diana to be introduced to the others.

Oh but everyone was so plain and normal (yes, even the martian), compare to that “Superman” you met earlier...Everyone. Everyone but him.

************

A few hours after your encounter with Clark, you met Bruce.

He was focused on a huge computer screen, typing away on the keyboard things that seem very random to you but apparently made sense to him.

You had a sudden surge of wanting to slap the man, as he completely ignored Diana but...but when she talks about your parents (in the most sensitive way as you’re standing right there), the man finally turns and...

With Clark, it was fire, it was light, it was a strange and unexplainable attraction.

With Bruce ? It was an instant understanding. You bore into his icy blue eyes and it mirrored your pain of loosing your parents. You shook his gloved hand and the little squeeze he gave it was proof enough that he...understood.

With Bruce, there was no smiles. It wasn’t warm and cosy like Clark, and yet you felt...you felt good.

In front of you stood a man who understood your pain. Who, when he said “I know”, really did know. Who had suffered, even more than you, and who...would always be here for you because of this.

It sounded so stupid. You didn’t even know the guy. And yet...And yet his intense eyes seemed to read into you, and to speak to your very soul.

When Bruce heard about your parents, he turned to look at you, because yes, he knew the pain. But he wasn’t expecting to be faced with...with...with you.

He wasn’t expecting to not be able to find his words because your mere presence overwhelmed him. Because you were mesmerizing. Because...He hated not understanding.

He understood you, and you understood him but...he didn’t understand what was so special about you, what drew him so irrevocably to you, what made him want to actually talk to you.

The only other person able to make him talk, the only other one he wanted to talk to and to be with...It was Clark. And the wave of feelings that submerged Bruce as he was looking at you made him feel so guilty.

How could he ? How could he think about you so intensely while he didn’t even know you ? How could he look at your lips and want them so much ? How could he...how could he betray Clark’s trust ?

And yet here he was, talking to you more than he talked to anyone in a few days, under Diana’s surprised gaze. And when you left, following the amazon to visit the rest of the headquarter, the only thing he wanted to do was to follow you...And the guilt washed over him once again.

How could he ? He was in love with Clark. He knew that. And Clark was in love with him. So why...and how...he didn’t even know you for God’s sake !!

************

Both Bruce and Clark didn't speak much that coming week. They couldn’t. And today, as Bruce went home to his mansion in Gotham, and Clark sneaked into his bedroom, they still didn’t speak.

The usually always so passionate sex wasn’t really that great, and they just laid there, side by side, battling with their thoughts.

What could they do ? Should they break up with each others ? But...they were still in love.

Should they just ignore what they suddenly both felt about you ? But that was impossible. Clark saw you earlier that day, laughing at one of Barry’s joke, and it made his heart swell with happiness, to hear such a clear and pure thing...Bruce saw you before he left for Gotham, and you smiled at him. You just smiled at him and that mere action made his heart jump out of his chest.

No. They couldn’t just ignore you. It was actually getting increasingly difficult to ignore you. But then...what to do ?

They started to speak at the same time. They said the exact same thing.

-Bruce/Clark, you know (Y/N), the woman Diana brought last week...

************

It was just your luck. For fuck’s sake. You met two absolutely incredible men, that you learned to know a bit more over the week, that made you want them even more and...they were gay.

Of course they were. And together at that, if the rumors were true. And oh the way they looked at each others when they thought no one was watching...Yup, no doubt, those two were in love.

You sigh as you sip your tea, in the League common room.

Diana bringing you here was the best thing she could have done. The constant missions and things to do got your mind away from your dads. The new people you met and all of that stop you from thinking about your loss...But sometimes, like today, when you were alone with your thoughts, it would come back.

You buried them a few days ago. You invited their friends (they were loved by so many, and oh your gay “uncles” and “aunts” were plenty), not even bothering inviting their actual family, that both disowned your dads for being gay. They hated them, why would you even tell them what happened ?

Your true family, your dads friends that you called “uncle” and “aunt” forever, were a great support but...You didn’t stay long. After the funerals you left directly to your new family’s place, the League’s headquarter, where everyone seemed to...Everything seemed to...It just felt like home. In just a short few days.

You saw Clark and Bruce that day, but didn’t have the heart to talk to them or anything...in fact, you haven’t talked to any of them since that day. You could see them looking at you from afar but...You just couldn’t.

Your parents were gone, your support was gone, and now, you had fallen in love with TWO men who were gay and together. You don’t think your heart could handle it.

And oh it was so stupid that you fell for them that fast and hard ! What was so special about them ?! What made them so different ?!

“Everything”, said a voice at the back of your head. And you...

Two shadows coming over you tore you away from your thoughts. You almost dropped your tea as you saw who it was.

Of course. Clark and Bruce.

The entire room was empty and they were blocking any exits you could take and...their next words freeze you :

-So hum...this might sound weird, but can we talk to you ?

************

Most people thought that love triangles were full of dramas and pain. Of angst and suffering. Most people thought it was just about always wondering who loved more who, who was the most important one out of the three, and all of those bullshit.

The truth was, most people had no idea what an actual polyamory relationship was. Most people thought it wasn’t normal and impossible to fall in love with more than one person ? And yet...And yet you, Clark and Bruce were the proof that it was.

Because that’s what happened. They were both struck by “love at the first sight” with you, and you with them and...Hey, they also loved each other. It wasn’t a “I love you more than he does” or any shit like that situation. It was a “we all love each other” kind of one.

It wasn’t complicated really, to understand. You all loved each others equally. And instead of living miserable by being only in a two person relationship, and ignoring one of the one you loved...well you decided to be a bit more open and share your love between those two men, and them between...IT REALLY WASN’T THAT COMPLICATED !

That day, when they said they had to talk to you, they lost themselves in complicated words and explanations, when everything was quite simple really. And after a few dates, the three of you figured things out...Because it wasn’t, actually complicated.

It was love. Shared love. Between the three of you. Strong and unbreakable love. You were each others’ loves of your lives. As simple as that.

If an eight years old boy like Dick could understand, then everyone could really.

After a few years, news stopped asking questions about “Bruce Wayne’s weird love life” and...to be honest, you and Clark were sure that this started to be a normal thing only because he was Bruce Wayne. And in Gotham ? Bruce Wayne was like royalty.

And just the fact that a man like him would act as if nothing was strange, holding you with one arm and Clark with the other. If a man like that could act like it was the most normal thing in the World to have two dates at important charity events...then really, who was to say it was weird ?

After a few years, people just started to accept it. And if some still thought it was odd, you never really heard about it anymore.

You lived in Gotham, in Wayne Manor (Gods bless Clark’s ability to travel fast, because you’re pretty sure you couldn’t handle being too far from them too long). It was just the most logical thing.

Clark would go to Metropolis every morning, and come back every night, and...yes, it was just the most logical thing to do. Bruce’s house was bigger than Clark’s apartment was and, with six teenaged boys...

It’s interesting, how when a child grew up a certain way, things are totally normal for them. Like you with your two gay dads, or your sons, with two dads and a mom.

Dick, Conner, Jason, Tim, Jon and Damian.

It wasn’t always easy having that many kids under the same roof, especially those ones...Dick, Jason and Tim were adopted (which didn’t matter, they were your sons nonetheless). Conner was Clark’s clone and though it was difficult at first...you and Bruce convinced him to accept the boy as his own. Damian was technically only Bruce’s son, that he had a few years before dating Clark and you, with Talia Al’Ghul...but it didn’t change anything. He was yours. He was Clark’s. He was your son. Finally, Jon was the only biological kid you had (and the actual father was most likely Clark, given the boy’s powers).

But just like between you, Bruce and Clark there wasn’t any preferences, you all loved each other the same...You all loved your sons the same. No matter where they came from.

Yes. It was quite a bunch you had...but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Normal is overrated anyway, having flying sons jumping around the house while the others do acrobatics in the stairs was the only way you knew. The only way you wanted your family to be.

Having two husbands dressing up to fight crimes ? Perfect.

Oh and what would you do without your favorite sassy butler who was just too in love with this all thing ?

Yup. Life was great. And completely normal.

************

And here you were, almost fifteen years after Bruce and Clark had to “talk to you”, splayed on one of your husband, kissing him passionately, as the other arrived and smiled at the sight of you two tangle in each other.

-I know it has been two months since you two saw each others, but you could have waited for me...

His voice startled you, and you turn your head quickly to look at him. Your smile widens and, after giving a last kiss to Clark you jump on your feet and run to Bruce.

He greets you with open arms, as usual, and the kiss you exchange is as full of love and passion as the one you were just sharing with Clark.

You all have an excuse so, to be so disgustingly in need of each others.

A few months earlier, you got injured in a League mission and had to stay in the mansion to take it easy, as your husbands went to lead one of the biggest fight of their life, against the forces of Apokolips.

It drove you crazy, to not be able to go with them. To be stuck home, helpless. The only good thing about all of that is that your sons, who were now all grown up and living away in their own apartment (Damian and Jon shared one in Central Gotham, according to Alfred, you should NEVER put a feet in their or you’d get a heart attack about how your boys were living...), came to the Manor to take care of you, getting back in their old and untouched rooms.

It was nice, to have them back with you, just like when they were kids...But the constant worry about your husbands never left any of you.

You couldn’t loose them, and they couldn’t loose their dads...

Finally, after days of fighting you got a message from Diana.

Your sons ran away from the house, knowing that as soon as their fathers would be home you'd all get lovey dovey and disgusting. You gave Alfred, who took great care of you, his day off and...the house was all your own.

Clark arrived first, as Bruce had a few things to finish up, and oh the hug of relief you shared was one of the best one ever.

You were so damn worried for his life...and here he was, safe and sound.

You were waiting on the couch when Bruce finally arrived too. And boom. Here’s your excuse for being so damn demanding and clingy to both of them, kissing them passionately and all.

You tear yourself off of Bruce, and turn to look at Clark who came to join you.

Your two giants of husbands sandwich you and oh...oh it feels like home. There. In their arms. Their, in the men who never judged you ONCE arms. In the loves of your life arms. In the middle of them...as it should be.

Clark kisses Bruce, and of course the bat kisses back, though with less passion than with you. Some people would say it’s because your their favorite, because it’s “impossible to be in love with two people”...but some people would be idiots that do not know that Clark and Bruce were together those past two months, while you were stuck away from them, and that they had each others while you were alone. And oh, oh they missed you.

Realizing that they might crush you between their bodies, they pull away, and you look at both of them, your heart, even after all those years, still beating so wildly for them...

But they know that mischievous smile splaying on your face. They know what it means. And how something in their pants twitch with anticipation.

************

They were the lucky ones. For two months, they had each others. They could touch each others, hug, kiss, make love...you, you were alone every night. Sure you had the opportunity to spend some times with your six boys but...it obviously wasn’t the same.

And so tonight ? It would be more about you than about them. Because you deserved it. Because they missed you. Because it was only fair.

The three of you stumbled in the master bedroom (your bed was a double king sized, made specifically for the three of you by a designer in Gotham...it was so big not because you were three, but because Clark would always sleep with his arms and legs opened, leaving you and Bruce a small part of the bed, snuggled against each others).

Bruce was lifting your shirt, while Clark was lifting Bruce’s shirt and you were lifting Clark’s shirt and...yeah that wasn’t going to work, the three of you let go of each other, amazed that after years of practice, it would still be so damn difficult to undress each others.

They decide to focus on you, and so Bruce lifts your shirt as Clark gets rids of your pants in one swift moves, lifting you so he can take them off completely.

While Bruce peppers your neck with hundred of kisses, Clark takes care of your bra and panties, kissing all the exposed skin available to him. He slowly kneels and...you stop him, shaking your head.

As much as you’d love for him to eat you out, you missed them too much, you just need to feel them inside of you. Now.

Clark nods, as always he understands. You guys were all so good to understand each other’s needs...Bruce nods too and takes hold of you.

You wrap your legs around Bruce’s waist and you know EXACTLY where this is going. When Clark walks around the bed and climbs on it, sitting on his heels, you know you’re right.

It’s like you all understand each other perfectly well, without even the need to speak.

Bruce throws you on the bed playfully and you get on your knees, as your other husband climb on the bed, each one on each sides of you now.

You gently caress their abs as they reach for each others and kiss fiercely above you. You always loved their toned chest and muscular shoulders. They were so nice to feel under your fingers...

For a few seconds, your lost in caressing every line of their torso, as they kiss above you, tongue twisting around tongue. But them tearing away from each other brings your attention back to their face and...oh ? Your turn then ?

You raise on your legs to reach them, as they’re quite taller than you, and start to kiss Clark. He tastes like Bruce. You wrap your arms around his neck and brings him impossibly closer, until you feel the bat’s fingers brushing your back and you decide it’s his turns. You pull away from Clark, and turn to kiss Bruce.

He tastes like Clark. The Superman plants soft kisses all along the column of your neck to your back, making you shiver, as your tongue wrestles with Bruce’s. You are now completely sandwiched between Clark naked body, and Bruce’s, still clothed and...still clothed ? Oh that would do.

You pull away from your broody husband and push yourself back against the chest of your a bit naive one, grinding a bit against his cock on purpose (acting as if it was an “accident”). Clark mewls, and you and Bruce can’t help but smile fondly at him. Oh it was always so funny to you both, how out of the three of you, the most powerful, the mighty Superman, would always be the loudest one, the one who’d make the most desperate sounds and such.

Bruce wants to reach to catch you, but you don’t let him, slipping down against Clark’s body and out of his reach as your back sitting on your heels and are now too short...Well ok then, Bruce will go kiss Clark but...His husband pulls away too and looks at him intently.

What ?

And then it hits the greatest detective in the World. Yes. Of course. His shirt was gone, but he still had the rest of his clothes on, while they were both naked...that wouldn’t do, and in your world, it meant he would have a penalty.

Whoever out of the three of you had his clothes on last while the others were naked (which happened rarely, usually you’d get naked all almost simultanelly) had to strip for them.

Your back against Clark chest, you arch an eyebrow and Bruce sigh and rolls his eyes. Fine. Whatever. They were the one that didn’t get his clothes off before...But oh he knows he has to do it or...oh he better not think about the “or” situation.

He stands up and gets off the bed. And it’s too fucking hot, the way he stares at the both of you as he takes slowly his belt off. Unbutton his pants...Oh it’s not fair, he can’t be the only one that turns you guys on.

You exchange a quick look with Clark and Bruce knows he’s screwed. He thought he could captivate you two enough and get his little revenge of having to strip, it would usually work, but today ? Oh today you’re all too hungry for that to be enough. And so his plan backfires.

Clark kisses your shoulder, his eyes fixed on Bruce. One of his hand goes to slowly fondle your breast, as the other goes down to your most private part and brush slightly your clit. Your moan is what set Bruce ablaze, and he takes his pants, socks and shoes of in record time.

Your hand grabbing Clark’s erection doesn’t help either, and seeing you pump him lazily drives Bruce crazy. Oh he hates that. He hates how you two can make him loose all control so easily.

He grabs one of your arms, and tries to ignore you guys’ smug face. Bruce turns you around, so that your back is against his chest now. You can feel his cock in between your thigh.

Clark arch an eyebrow and smiles. Oh so it’s like that uh ? Fine. He crawls toward you two and sits back on the bed, on his knees, in front of you.

Bruce tears you off of him, and your hands go to rest on Clark’s thighs.

Your pussy drips in anticipation, which turns your husbands pupils’ completely black with lust.

You guys would usually tease each others for longer, but...two months without you, it was too much, and Bruce missed the feeling of you clenching around him. Slowly, you bend forward, knowing exactly what was going to happen, and you raise your ass a bit.

Clark braces himself, as he too knows what’ll happen...And when Bruce guides his cock inside you, pushes all the way to the hilt slowly but surely. When he slams his hips into yours with passion, and you gasp, your face against Clark’s abs...he knows it’s coming.

The first swipe of your tongue on Clark’s shaft makes him moan, and you and Bruce can’t help the little chuckle you make at his lack of vocal control.

You settle yourself conformably, on all four, your hands on Clark’s thighs, while Bruce puts one of his hand on your waist, and the other one on Clark’s shoulder for leverage, having the idea to use him to pump faster into you.

As you take Clark into your mouth, Bruce pouding inside you from behind, Clark is about to let out a loud moan but Bruce’s lips on his shut up up, swallow his cries of pleasure.

And suddenly, the room is filled with the lewd sounds for Bruce’s skin slapping yours as he makes love to you from behind, with the obscene sounds of your mouth sucking Clark’s cock eagerly, and of the smooch sounds of your two husbands french kissing.

The room is filled with Clark loud muffled moans, with Bruce’s more discreet and yet very sexy ones, and with yours, spilling around Superman’s cock.

This is one of your favorite position. Having one of them in your mouth as the other rams you with passion. And you know them both so well that you could almost count how long it’s gonna last before you all change...

And you’re right. As you countdown to zero you feel them stop kissing. Clark’s hands are caressing your back lovingly, tangling in your hair, while Bruce kisses where your neck and shoulder meet, leaving some love bites, and signifying to you that you can get off of Clark.

With expert movement, they move you around.

Oh. Yes. That night is yours. It’s about you threes’ pleasure, but tonight, a bit more about you, because fuck they missed you this past two months.

And so they straight you up, kissing you all over, as your hands don’t know which one to caress. They turn you around again, and now you’re between them, your back against Clark, facing Bruce.

One of your hand is in Bruce’s heart as his mouth latches on one of your nipple, while your other hands is in Clark’s hair, bringing him closer and closer as he kisses and bites your neck.

They pull away, kiss each others and you on the lips once more, and then Clark’s hands are under your thigh, lifting you.

This is always the most delicate position, the one where they have to be careful not to hurt you or anything. It’s not the same, when one of them is in the middle. But when it’s you ? They can’t be as rough and violent. Because, even though they know you can handle a lot, they could just make you fall apart if they did too much.

Clark looks a Bruce, and in silence, they decide what to do next.

The Batman penetrates you once more, and buries himself deep within you. After a last kiss to Clark’s lips, he proceeds to bury his face in your neck, and suck there while waiting for Clark to settle within you too.

Slicked with your saliva, Clark doesn’t have to put lotion on his dick, however, not wanting to hurt you, he gestures slowly at Bruce and the Bat understands. Bruce pulls almost all the way out of you, so Clark can dip a finger in your drenched pussy, and as your broody one slowly pushes back inside you, Clark stretches your asshole to prepare you for what’s to come, wetting the inside of it with your own juice so as to not hurt you.

Your breath hitch at all those feelings. Bruce sucking on your neck and being so fucking still inside you, stretching you to the maximum. And Clark prepping you for...You know you’re ready and you kiss his cheeks lovingly.

He gives you a quick glance and nods, again, he understands.

He leans back on his heels, and let you and Bruce lean on him for better comfort (bless his super strength, because oh when Bruce starts to pounds in you, no man could withstand his force !).

And then slowly, making sure you’re not uncomfortable, Clark pushes inside your asshole, and the three of you gasp.

Clark gasps because you’re always so damn tight there.

You gasp because the combined feelings of Bruce and him is almost too much.

And Bruce, always so stoic and in control Bruce, can’t help but gasp at the feeling of you clenching around him, getting tighter as Clark invades your behind.

Your moans mixe all together, and it’s a beautiful concert of sounds of pleasure.

They stay still for a minute, waiting for you...but as soon as you nod...ooooh.

They each suck on a side of your neck, as they pump slowly into you, finding a punishing rhythm together.

When Bruce goes in, Clark pulls out, and vice versa, and a wide array of pleasurable feelings wash over all of you. They can feel you tighten around them, and you...oh the way they stretch you is so fucking perfect.

You know the end is close when even Bruce can’t hold in his moans and growls, when even Bruce starts to whisper yours and Clark’s name over and over again as he pumps inside of you, as Clark hands roam his body and yours. As one of your hand is in his hair, your other in Clark’s. As Clark bend his head back ward and...

He’s the first to come. Clark is always the first to come.

He unloads inside you and lets out a desperate small little strangled noise before collapsing back on his heels and holding you while Bruce finishes you.

It takes only one more minute of Bruce pouding you and Clark slowly rubbing circles around your clit for you to come. Hard. And oh it feels so good after two months spend without them !

Your last scream of pleasure is like the sweetest music to their ears, and it isn’t long for Bruce to spill inside you...He scrunches up his nose, and clenches his jaw. His eyes rolls back and he open his mouths to let out a guttural growls, exactly like you imitated him (but lower and sexier).

And with that, the three of you fall on your sides, still inside each others, close.

Clark moves first. Having finished before he always moves first. He pulls out of you, stands up, as you stay with Bruce, caressing his bicep gently, as he draws abstract patterns in your back with the tip of his fingers.

Clark comes back with a wet cloth, and cleans you and himself up, before giving it to Bruce who pulls out of you too, to clean you up there as well, and finally clean himself up.

Clark goes to throw the cloth in the dirty laundry (poor Alfred) and comes back.

Yes. Since you were born, your life wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t normal, for most people, to be in the arms of two naked superheroes...And yet.

Yet, here, with Bruce’s and Clarks arms across you, holding each others against you in a tangle of arms and legs, you felt like you wouldn’t have it any other way.

As usual, Clark is the one who says it first. He's always been the most sensitive one...he kisses your shoulder, and Bruce’s show, and says, in a whisper :

-I love you (Y/N), love of my life. I love you Bruce, love of my life.

Even Bruce can't help the goofy smile splaying on his face, which gets even wider as you say :

-I love you too, Clark, fucking love of my life and sex god. Oh, and I love you, Bruce, also love of my life and also sex god.

They chuckle a bit at your antics...You’ve always been the funny one.

After a few seconds of silence, Bruce’s arms tighten around you and Clark, and he says, in his sexy low and full of fatigue voice :

-I love you both, more than anything. So much it hurt. I love you (Y/N), I love you Clark. Loves of my life. Always.

Oh Bruce. Always the dramatic one. He couldn’t do simple. Of course.

That night, and for the first time in two months, you finally fall asleep with your husbands wrapped around you. Not alone.

That night, the three of you cheesy fuckers fall asleep with smiles on your faces.

************

The next morning, you can hear the door of your bedroom slowly opening, and Jon and Damian’s faces appearing in the frame. Jon’s eyes are closed, Damian’s hand on his brother’s eyes, just to make sure he won't be scarred for life. Damian’s eyes are also shut tight...but he dares to open one and...oh sweet relief, you guys are under a blanket.

They were so afraid to find their dads and mom naked ! It wouldn’t be the first time, and they didn’t wanna throw up that early in the morning !

Your husbands growl, but you smile at your boys, and gesture for them to come give you a kiss.

They awkwardly avoid their dads and kiss your cheek...before kissing their fathers’ cheeks too (or they’d get jealous and pouty). You can’t help the smile creeping on your face at your 25 and 28 years old, your youngest sons, kissing their parents on the cheek.

They whisper that the rest of your boys are here, waiting downstairs for breakfast, and you tell them you’ll be down there in a few minutes.

Before though, you gotta put some clothes on and cuddle some more with your husbands that you hasn’t seen for two m...before you finish your sentence, your sons are out, yelling childish “eeeew”.

You can feel your husbands smile on your skin, and you know it’s gonna be the beginning of a great fucking day.

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I have no idea what this is. I am posting it, but I’m not sure how long I will leave it on. Like I’m posting it because so many asked for it, but it’s...bad. And...Yeah it’s really not great and what I thought I would write so.

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