#and not see norm and sean or whatever

[glossglamour]

Full Robert Sean Leonard 'House'-a-palooza Interview: "As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina."

May 01 2006 | By Maureen Ryan

Do you watch the show much?

"I can't watch it. I mean, Hugh doesn't watch it because he's anal and … eight years old. [laughs] And by the way, I don’t buy it, I think he does watch it.

“I watched in the first year. We live in New York and [my fiancé] was in California] and she likes it because I’m on it. But then she left, she had to come back to New York, and what are you going to do? The idea of me watching myself on TV, alone in Santa Monica, was just about... just short of, like, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a shotgun away from shooting myself. [much laughter]  So I haven’t watched it all season. But when I have watched it, I’ve been mildly confused and Hugh is appropriately grumpy."

I have this theory that a lot of my favorite shows aren’t even about what they’re supposed to be about -- they have to be set in a hospital or police station or outer space or whatever because the network can market that, but they’re secretly not even about that. Like, “House” is really about ethics and morality.

“Yeah, sure, I think that’s true.”

But you can’t pitch that show to the network. “Hey, we have this great show that examines personal morality!"

“‘It’s based on “A View from the Bridge.”’

Right! They’re really going to for that.

“Yeah. [laughs] I think it’s good, and when it’s right, when the show works, the mystery works. It has a Sherlock Holmes-ian feel to it, and you do kind of want to know what’s wrong with [the patients]. And it is interesting, the turns and twists that get you there. And there’s always a little bit of character-driven fun stuff in between, of who these people are and how they affect each other. And that’s it at its best. And I guess that could be true of any show.

“It’s tricky, you’ve got a lead character [who’s different from the TV norm] and you’ve got to be careful because those characters can be one-note. He’s the cranky guy, he’s the Australian guy, I’m the friend in one or two scenes a week. You just have to be careful, and I think we are, we have a really great team of writers. And the numbers are building, people are watching.”

So this two-parter on May 2 and 3, I think the unofficial subtitle is the “Festival of Foreman.” I guess they’re his Emmy episodes, and that’s fine. But you’re hardly in them, what’s up with that?

“Honestly, I’m okay. I don’t want an Emmy. This is what I want -- I know exactly what I want. I did play with a guy named Skip Sudduth, ‘The Iceman Cometh,’ seven years ago. I saw him five years later, and I said, ‘Geez, Skip, where have you been? I don’t see you at readings anymore.’ He said, ‘I’ve been on “Third Watch.”’ It sounded familiar but I’d never seen it. He said, ‘I’ve been doing it for five years.’ I said, ‘Holy crap!’ And he was back doing theater. That’s my dream.

“And it’s happening. I walk down the street and people say, ‘Where are you?’ and I say, ‘I’m on this show called “House.”’ My friend Lewis Black [from 'The Daily Show'] said, ‘What is it called? “Head”?’

“I’m okay. I’ve never been happier than where my career is now. And I don’t want it to change necessarily. Money’s good, and I’m glad I’m getting that, and I’m putting it away for later in life when I do more Tom Stoppard plays at Lincoln Center and make no money. But really, I’m great. I don’t mind working two days a week.

“Because those other guys, the Scooby gang, or the Mod Squad -- they are at that studio for 16 hours a day saying ‘tachycardia, lupus, blablahdeblah.’ Honestly, I’d kill myself if  had to do those scenes for that long. I’m very happy with the size of my role, I don’t want it to get any bigger. I’m happy.”

So we won’t see the very special “House” episode where Dr. Wilson almost dies?

“That might be how I get off the show.” [laughs]

Well, you could die and come back as a ghost. Then it would be the “House Whisperer.”

“Yeah [laughs]. The hair makeup people were saying one day, ‘Oh, I love those scenes with you and Hugh, there should be more of that.’ And I’m like, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’ I’m the luckiest man in Hollywood. I work only with Hugh, pretty much, who’s great. And I work two days a week.”

Do you fly back and forth to New York then?

"No, not really. They don’t let me because they need me around, the schedule changes so much. I’m going to try to get away with that a little more [in the upcoming season]. Now that [my fiancé] is here, I really will kill myself if I’m out there as much as I was last year, without her.”

So five days a week you’re doing what – Botox injections? Going to the mall? Watching “Maury”?

“Rob Lowe once said the secret to being an actor in L.A. is sleeping as late as you possibly can and going to be as early as possible. I remember him saying, ‘I recommend pajamas by 4:30 p.m.’”

What’s interesting about this show is that they’re taken something that could be a very formulaic procedural and quite often turn it on its head.

“I didn’t know anything about TV, I’d never done [a TV show], but I now know very well that there are procedurals and character-driven shows. ‘Law & Order’ is a procedural and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a character-driven show. The test [as to which category a show is in], someone once said to me, which I thought was hysterical, is this question: Did Sam Waterston sleep with [the assistant DA] on ‘Law & Order’? If the answer is ‘I don’t give a [hoot], I want to know the next element of the case,’ then it’s a procedural.

“Our show is weirdly, and there must be precedent for this, but it’s weirdly equally both. I think it’s very much a procedural, and without that sick patient every week, we wouldn’t work. And without the character stuff it wouldn’t work. And weirdly, people do care if House sleeps with one of our characters, and also care equally what’s wrong with this person and how they’re going to solve the case.”

I guess I like the character stuff better, but you’re right, it probably wouldn’t work without the suspense of the weekly case and somebody being critically ill.

“No, I think you need that. I think the echoes of Sherlock Holmes are too strong. The original idea of the show was House and Wilson, like Holmes and Watson. But it got away from that, and his team is Watson, if you want to be technical about it.

“I’m more like … the only way I’ve found to define it, and it’s so pretentious that it makes me want to jump out a window, is like King Lear’s fool. I’m like the only one who tells him the truth. And [Wilson] has nothing to lose. I don’t work for him and he doesn’t work for me. I’m the only character who chooses to be with him as opposed to being there because of a job. And because of that I have the freedom to tell him what I think. Not that Cuddy holds back much.”

I think her role is to say, "No! Bad House!"

“Have you talked to Lisa Edelstein [who plays Cuddy]? She’s so great. This Japanese woman once said to her, ‘You on “ER”!’ And she said, ‘I have been on “ER,” but now I’m on “House.”’ And [the woman says] ‘Oh yes, “House.” You say, “No, you don’t!”’ Every time we do the table read, I burst into laughter at some point, because there is the voice of that woman in my head, ‘You say “No, you don’t!”’ That’s the entire definition of Lisa’s character. Not completely, but we laugh [about it]. We have the same dilemma. We’re on this show that we’re … kind of on. Crew members say, ‘How long have you been on the show?’ ‘Uh, since the pilot.’ They really don’t know what we’re doing there.”

So in terms of the other stuff going on in your career, that’s going well, all the theater stuff?

“I’ve achieved everything I wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Kevin Kline, Sam Waterston. I grew up watching the Public Theater and Shakespeare in the park and Marion Seldes. I mean, I may as well be gay.”

I’m not entirely sure you’re not.

[laughs] “But the thing is, I got it [i.e. his goals]. I’ve done 14 Broadway shows and got a Tony award, and now I’m making money and no one even really knows. I’m getting away with murder. If I come back to New York in two years and nothing’s changed, I’ll be thrilled. All I really want to do is [act in] plays, play with my dog, have kids. My desires are pretty simple. I don’t really want to do movies anymore. I’m pretty tired of camera acting.”

Why are you tired of camera acting? Is it the repetition of it?

“No, no, quite the opposite. We don’t rehearse enough. We do scenes where people barely know their lines, where people just about know their lines. In theater, you do it so many times and you get so familiar that then you can actually start having fun with it. And I really miss that feeling.

“It’s true of films too. I don’t know. I think I’m fine on film, but … I have walked offstage and thought, ‘Wow, no one has done that better. People may have done it as well, but not better.' I’ve actually had that feeling after ‘Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ or a Shaw play or whatever. I’ve never felt that way with film. I always feel like, ‘Boy, Donald Sutherland would have done that a lot better.’ [laughs] I just don’t think it’s what I do best. I think I’m fine, but there are people who are eerily good at it. In all humility, of which I have none [laughs], that’s how I feel about my work on stage. I really do feel that I’m gifted at it.”

Just to change gears completely, what happens in the finale?

“Well, I think the finale is a bit of a cliffhanger. Something very exciting happens. It’s extremely exciting and freaky and I think it’s great. I can’t say what it is. You end this season very curious about how the next season is going to start. It’s a great final show and a big cliffhanger.”

So it seems like Hugh Laurie is so disparaging of his own talents. But he’s so good as House.

“Some people ask me, ‘Oh, why does Wilson want to hang out with House so much?’ and I’m like, ‘You idiot.’ [laughs] House is designed to be attractive! He’s brilliant, he’s self-deprecating, he has a limp. But yeah, Hugh hates himself and he’s very funny about it.  There’s no better combination in my book. Like Lewis Black.”

But as an acting partner, he’s good to work with?

“Oh yeah. The thing is, with this part, Hugh has a huge obstacle he has to deal with, having an American accent. His problem isn’t our problem. We as the audience don’t have that problem, because what he doesn’t know is that he does it perfectly. But of course he doesn’t hear that. That’s why he can’t watch the show.

“When you’re doing an accent, you don’t feel like you’re interesting in the role. Even if everyone around is telling you that you are. And to be in a play is one thing, but to be on TV show that runs for years, I don’t know how he’s going to do it. To be that hard on yourself and be that disappointed in your own work. But as I said, and underline this four times, he’s wrong.”

And then he obviously hates when anyone calls him a sex symbol. You read his quotes when people ask him about that stuff and you can feel the embarrassment rising off the page.

“Yeah, he hates that stuff. And even more than the ‘sexy’ stuff, he hates the ‘you’re brilliant’ stuff. Of course there’s a part of him that likes him, there’s a part of all of us that likes that. [But him being hard on his performance], it’s not false vanity.

“I think Hugh does work he’s proud of and does work he thinks is good, I’m just not sure it’ll ever be this [show]. Having an accent… acting is letting go and forgetting yourself, it’s the opposite of ego. It’s flying away and getting away from yourself and forgetting. And when you’re doing an accent, it’s virtually impossible to do that.

“It’s hard when you're in a play, doing the same lines, the same way for eight months. Hugh learns 72 new lines a day and has to put an American accent on them. It really is an actor’s nightmare. I’ve done [with accents] Brian Friel plays, Martin Sherman plays, Tom Stoppard plays, and maybe five months into it you have a night where you kind of feel OK and kind of forget the accent and let go and let the scene happen. To have a strange accent in your mouth while playing a role, and then be judged for it, that’s hard stuff.

“And can I tell you, when you have dinner with Hugh Laurie [speaking in his real accent]… I miss that voice.”

Yeah. He called me once directly for an interview. I was expecting the publicist to put him through, but it was just that voice on the phone. I was sort of thrown for a minute.

“As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina.” [laughs]

---- [source (part 2)] | part 1 | part 3 ---

it took me two hours to track this interview down. it might be the longest one he's ever done. first i tracked it down to tumblr pages posting about it with no source please stop doing that. then i found a short youtube video of laurie saying "homina homina" on an snl skit i think and someone in the comments mentioned the site where the rsl interview was posted. however the site wouldn't let me in, i guess they took it down so i headed to archive dot org. i didn't have a specific link though so that didn't really work out either. then for nearly an hour i tried a wide range of word combinations on google until i stumbled upon a livejournal page of rpf hugh laurie/rsl fanfic. SOMEONE tysm karaokegal posted the exact link i was looking for in the comments. quick trip to the wayback machine and here you go!

i should be on those ethical hacking competition things

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

so like i get where this post is coming from and in the broad strokes of the idea i agree. but the examples chosen here are…. hm. i am not an expert, anyone can feel free to correct me. they strike me as perhaps out of touch with the reality of long term historical norms of gendered domestic production. like many of the “unseen” women in history were doing, uh…. a shit ton of backbreaking physical labor, just like the dudes, because that’s the reality of subsistence farming or serfdom or what have you. you know? like idk. the original post sets up a weird dichotomy of roles that are traditionally male but also in some ways associated with a higher status (“warriors” over “soldiers” is doing interesting work here - perhaps an unintentionally revealing choice as soldiering is both traditionally male and in many historical cases largely made up of grunts, so to speak?), and then “lowly” roles that are, like, i guess lower class, although i also wonder, is a baker not often a businessperson in a way, and if you’re talking about domestic baking that’s not for profit, are you aware that that is part of the absolutely massive labor load often associated with the roles “wife” and “mother”? like are we reclaiming so called feminine roles here or low status ones, because those are not the same thing, and our presentist (sorry) assumptions about what scanned as “feminine” are not always accurate. (one tidbit from sean wilentz’s chants democratic that has stuck with me is that the NY tailors’ guild was opposed to women entering the profession and argued women were inherently unsuited to the job - a very good example of the fact that the idea that “feminine” tasks are considered unimportant or low status oversimplifies the more complicated picture in which in fact the relative professionalization or status of a profession influences strongly the degree to which it is considered “feminine”… see the history of film editing for another example and also every single “pink collar” job that was once primarily done by men lol). or like, many unseen women also literally just like worked in factories lol (or before factories doing piecework for pennies in their homes). thinking also of that one tweet that was like “if she’s the innkeeper’s wife then what does she do with her days”….. anyway. whatever. not a crime. i guess i am just reacting out of my belief that it is important to remember that concepts of masculinity and femininity are not historically static bc these notions are made up and do not refer to anything real

[utilitycaster]

re: your actual play post, apart from critrole are there other actual plays that are doing the whole "bad guys/neutral but not up to the mark" that you mentioned?

for cr, it's interesting and i guess kind of inevitable that we've gone from traditional heros -> reluctant heros -> neutral heros(?) caught up in the storm

i don't watch a lot of actual plays other than the popular ones, but it is very interesting to see the general trajectory the actual play space is moving in

I feel like the Mighty Nein are not really part of this trend - they're not as publicly acknowledged as Vox Machina, and they do take an unorthodox "not up to the task" (or more accurately "too traumatized right now for the task, we need to work through some shit first") route for a while, but they are pretty unambiguously working towards a heroic cause by the midlevels (and VM started off pretty scrappy too; we just didn't see them until they got respectable). Bells Hells do feel a little closer to this, though still leaning heavily towards the heroic. I think it's possible for them to decide to pull the ripcord, as they said, after their current mission; but I doubt they will, so they flirt with the theme but I don't think will go all the way. Which to be clear is the norm.

I mentioned a few things in my tags, so:

Candela Obscura chapters 2 and 3 flirt with this. In 2 the circle other than Sean is imo heroic, but also working a little outside the lines. Sean does make a turn that I don't think makes him the bad guy - it's pretty clear it's an act of misery and desperation - but does position him in a place that a lot of TTRPGs won't go. Chapter 3 is complicated because to be honest we don't really see the logic of Candela's actions in the final episode and some don't entirely follow for me, but Rajan and Elsie's discussions do cover this territory: as monsters, what side are they on? I think Candela Obscura is a game that really supports this should someone wish to push it there.

Trinyvale (side campaign for NADDPod) explores this in that the characters eventually develop into absolutely toxic assholes while still saving the world; however, this is a very very silly campaign in general so it's played for the humor.

Similarly, in Burnt Cookbook Party (spoilers - I'm not totally caught up but this spoils a pretty major aspect of the show that comes up pretty early), two of the characters go fully evil and the party fractures. HOWEVER, this campaign is set in a time loop, and so the consequences are lessened since we know the results aren't permanent (and indeed the big PvP moment is when the time loop restarts).

I feel this is something that Burrow's End (D20) sort of wanted to explore, but Last Bast was so obviously a police state that it was pretty clear the characters' desire to disrupt an existing stable society was in fact good.

This is all really speculative on my part - I watch/listen to a lot of actual play but there are plenty of major shows and infinite minor ones I don't follow at all or even know about. Obviously Critical Role or D20 are going to have more a footprint here than, say, BCBP. But I think people are trying to tell stories that interrogate whether, just because you met in a tavern or whatever, you should be tasked with saving the world, either because you're not actually that great of people or because you're not sufficiently competent in this particular situation, and that's really interesting to me. I think the reason I don't have any terribly clear answers is because it's really hard to do this and then find what that party should do instead.

[ironcmoniker1]

Grave Encounters 2, Rewatch and Reaction

Since Grave Encounters was better than I remembered it, I figured I'd roll right into Grave Encounters 2.

The original kicked off with a very good sartorial take on the ghost hunting realty shows. This one kicks off with the equivalent of era specific YouTube videos that capture the aesthetic and vibe of the time as well.

The entire scene in the Halloween party is unfortunate, in pretty much every way. It's comical and a little disappointing that this was made in 2012, but the entire rant about the state of horror films, in the middle of the party, while this very pretty girl is clearly looking for his attention, feels all too real, as does the vomiting and humiliation that follows.

The obsession with a supposed conspiracy has unfortunately become even more believable/topical in the last decade too. The way this is all coming together feels like a stretch though. The "spirits reaching out through the computer" almost always feels like a reach or like its shoehorned in, because it both doesn't make sense, but isn't far enough out of the norm to feel supernatural. It also leads inevitably to the questions about why the "spirits" wouldn't be luring as many people as they could to wherever they're looking for victims.

Bringing the producer back from the original is smart, and making him a very stereotypical Hollywood douche bro is good for effect, if not a little on the nose.

It's also a funny bit when Alex and Jennifer, go so quickly and easily into the same melodramatic, over the top on camera delivery as Lance in the original when he starts filming his "documentary."

Though it takes longer to get into the hospital, this one kicks into high gear even more quickly than the original, thanks to a conveniently placed spirit board. Where the first one took its time introducing the idea of time and space being warped, this one immediately jumps into that and the introduction of spirits/ghosts in camera. There isn't any consistency though, because we also see someone attacked by something that can't be seen within minutes.

There may be a bit too much of the ghosts on camera in this one. I also can't nail down why I felt more invested in the sense of threat the characters were facing in the previous movie. These kids all feel like cannon fodder.

The security guard showing back up to get electrocuted was unexpected.

This bit of the building letting them think they got out and were going to make it home was an interesting twist.

Lance (the protagonist of the first film) showing back up, looking like a Robinson Crusoe extra was unexpected as well. The Red Door bit is a little on the nose, but the bit with the door that doesn't go anywhere until the third time they open it is cool. They're playing with the rules of time/space warping in some interesting ways this time. This bit with the camera floating up out of the bad by itself seems kind of unnecessary. We already know that they're not alone, and whatever is there is malevolent. As an excuse to wake someone up, it seems a little extra, given the situation. Who's going to sleep all that well in the first place?

Trevor wandering off alone is also a little much, given what we've already seen. Characters in horror movies do dumb shit all the time, but these people have seen som serious shit already. Sean/Lance taking him out was unexpected. Feels like some Shining shit. The camera floating around by itself is taking things a little far. Are ghosts really that interested in being recorded and making sure they're message is going to get out? I don't know man. The hospital or whatever is in the hospital being obsessed with finishing the film also feels like it's a little much.

Well, I remembered correctly. This feels like a pretty inferior sequel.

[trekbec82]

[Video and Image descriptions:

1. A video of a dark-haired Caucasian woman dancing on a cobblestone street beside a bald Caucasian man playing an upbeat tune on violin.

2, 3, 5 & 7. Screenshots of text from a Tumblr post which could no longer be reblogged, which (with minor edits by me for clarity) read:

(2) If you listen, her tapping very much adds to the music.

*

lizzy52955

Love this

*

froggybangbang

That's Emma O'Sullivan! She's a famous tap dancer (all-Ireland champion) and you can see her often if you walk the streets of Galway, dancing in the street!

*

sraithpics

I'd just like to add (for non Irish people especially) that she isn't actually a tap dancer but a sean nós dancer. Sean nós is a traditional Irish dance (sean nós means "the old way") but it isn't the same as the mainstream Irish dance which people would be familiar with. In mainstream Irish dance the dancers have carefully choreographed routines that need to be learned and replicated and keep a rigid upright position at all times. They either wear soft shoes which make no sound or hard shoes which make a tap sound which are worn for different types of dances. People can also usually recognise Irish dance pretty easily at a glance due to the extravagant colourful costumes, white "poodle" socks, white undershorts and heavy wigs and make up that the dancers wear at competitions.

(3) Sean nós is a totally different type of dance separate to this mainstream "Irish dance". It is a much more loose and free type of dance where the dancers always wear hard shoes since the sound of the feet is very important. There are a few basic moves (the "shuffle, shuffle stamp", the "heel and toe" and the "slide and shuffle" being the basic foundation steps) but once you have the basics you can combine steps, free style and even make your own steps. You can move your hands and arms to the music unlike in mainstream Irish dance too. Sean nós is often seen as the sexier Irish dance as the dancers are allowed much greater hip and general body movement and can laugh and interact with the audience as they move. There are no particular costume rules for sean nós competitons. Unlike Irish dance, people can really wear whatever but the norm is comfortable and simple dresses or skirts or trouser/top combinations made up from whatever the dancer chooses from their own wardrobes, a huge contrast to the heavy Irish dance costumes and the expense and pageantry associated with them. Part of the appeal of sean nós is that it has not been commercialised and commodified to the degree that Irish dance has and has a much more casual and fun feel to it in contrast to the strict routines and costume norms of Irish dance.

The most skilled sean nós dancers are able to dance a "barrel dance" where they dance at high speed on top of a barrel without knocking it over. It usually takes years to get to this level of skill so people normally start on the ground and then work their way up from a quarter barrel to a half barrel until they can dance on the top of a full one. This is Emma again doing a barrel dance on a half barrel:

4. Three photographs side by side of a dark-haired Caucasian woman, airborne as she dances on half a wooden barrel of the sort used for aging alcohol.

(5) Another sean nós dance is Damhsa na Scuibanna "The Brush Dance" where dancers pass a brush between their legs at speed. The still images don't really do it justice so here's a clip of three members of the Cunningham family dancers performing it:

6. {link to YouTube video} A video of two women and a man, all Caucasian with dark hair, dancing side by side at a cultural event in a building (possibly a pub) with a wooden floor. For part of the dance they each hold a brush-style broom, and dance with the broomsticks passing between their legs. At the conclusion of the dance, a person with an Irish accent speaks. (Apologies, it wasn't clear enough for me to transcribe.)

(7) It's important that people call it by its correct name of sean nós or damhsa ar an sean nós rather than just "tap dance" as it's an important part of our cultural heritage and a type of dance that is barely known about outside of Ireland. Sean nós had almost fallen into total obscurity outside of small pockets of rural Ireland until dancers like Emma O Sullivan and the Cunningham family dancers repopularised it in the early 2010s through their acclaimed performances and TV appearances as well as their classes for children to keep the tradition going into the next generation. Sean nós is still threatened with falling back into obscurity, if you search online most of the popular videos and photos of it are from about nine years ago during this revival and it's still largely a rural, West of Ireland phenomenon which even people from within Ireland don't really know about. Calling it by it's correct name helps to keep it alive and allows new people to find out about it.

107,233 notes

[/end ID]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX3Z8qG7AKo

[veritaaas]

[bullywugprincess]

WWDITS headcanons

The Guide uses they/she/it pronouns, Laszlo is genderfluid and uses all pronouns, Colin Robinson uses he/it pronouns.

Nandor uses he/him and Nadja uses she/her, but that is not to say they are cis. No vampire is truly cis because of now societal norms change over time, fitting the associations and ideology around a gender during their human lives does not mean they do in the modern day and with the amount of gender norm changes they've seen it's easy to feel disconnected from gender as a whole. Also gender is mostly based on human society, and of course vampire society is very different.

For similar reasons all vampires are neurodivergent. Societal norms have changed so much over time that it is hard for them to seem 'normal', super vampire senses give them sensory overload, and they all follow strange certain rules and routines (of course ones that they have to do as a vampire e.g. not going in sun or not entering rooms unless they're invited, but also completely independent personal rules like Nandor only reading letters in the sitting room, in order to keep their sanity in an everlasting life in our ever changing world)

Nadja and Laszlo have ADHD obviously, Nandor has autism and ADHD, and the Guide has autism and OCD (but her OCD is basically canon so), Colin is autistic

I know this is canon but I just want to say it. Nadja, Nandor, Lazlo, and the Guide are pansexual. I personally see Colin as a sex-enthusiast aro-ace, and obviously Guillermo is gay

A lot of the main group are actually just a big polyamorous relationship. Laszlo, The Guide and Nadja are getting it on, The Guide and Nadja are getting it on, Laszlo and Nadja, Guide and Marwa, Guide and Marwa and Nadja, Guide and Marwa and the Djinn, Guillermo and the Djinn, Guillermo and Nandor, Nandor and Laszlo, Laszlo and Nadja with Sean and Charmaine. I could literally go on all night

Nadja and Guillermo kicked ass together in London. I wish they had given us a full season of that year because I want to know more. They did face masks and cried about being separated from their boyfriend and bitched about their boyfriends and got absolutely shitfaced together. Guillermo had to save Nadja from getting into several fights whilst she was drunk, both with humans and vampires alike. They were just besties

NADJA CAME HOME FOR A REASON AND YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE! Also whatever the reason was I think Guillermo doesn't know, she found a way to hypnotize him and make him forget, hence why she goes back to being bitchy to him in season 4. I don't know what I think the reason is yet but I'm taking suggestions.

The Guide and Van Helsing wiped out the majority of the vampiric council when they got arrested over the affair. They weren't going down without a fight and they fucked shit up. The Guide was the OG "you killed all the other most powerful vampires so we're putting you in charge because A) that's fucking impressive and B) you're literally the only option right now. The only reason she wasn't put in charge in charge was because she was fighting with a vampire killer to protect said vampire killer and vampire killers are a big no no. Also said vampire killer died and she was captured in a very violent manner and the trauma is what made her forget, not simply the shame

Nadja originally either did or intended to join Lilith's coven, she definitely practiced witchcraft even before she was turned

Nadja didn't learn to read or write until a fair bit into her vampire life, perhaps after she met Lazlo, and still struggles with it

Nadja and Lilith were in love

Marwa, the Djinn and Guillermo have a "I hate Nandor" support group, occasionally the Guide will show up too

The Wraiths are all actually physical manifestations of the Guides mind. No I will not elaborate

[lucy-moderatz]

Sex & the City, 3x04, "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl"

Oh boy. Here we go.

The thing is, I don't think the obvious biphobic thing is my problem with this episode. Is it a problem that Carrie has a problem with it? Of course it is. I'm not excusing the fact that it comes from a very immature place, fueled by the ignorance surrounding bisexuality at the time of this episodes inception. Carrie is insecure to an insane degree, and given that her ex-boyfriend (who she is very much still in love with) just married someone the age of her current bisexual fling and she has major hang-ups about why he married her and not Carrie, I get where she's coming from. If her boyfriend is bisexual, there are twice as many people he can eventually leave her for. It doesn't say great things about her as a person, but I don't find myself getting super worked up about it.

The thing that does piss me off, that I believe is the actual problem with this episode, is the end. Carrie's fling introduces her to his circle of friends. It's a very queer-normative friend group, where partners have mixed and the lines are blurry. Marriages, divorces, men who were with women are now with men and women who were with men are now with other women. One has even been an egg donor for her ex-husband and his new husband. This is the year 2000. I forgive Carrie for being taken aback. What I don't forgive is the way the episode ends up framing this whole situation.

Carrie is dragged into a game of spin the bottle. The bottle lands on a girl, and she tries to wave it off, but the girl leans in for a kiss anyway. She lets it happen to see if there's any way she'd be able to fit in here. There isn't. Fine. But this is the parting line of the episode.

That was the last night I saw Sean. I realized they could do whatever they wanted, but deep down I was too old to play this game.

What a resent, above all else, is that this queer friendship group and all of the seemingly "messy" relationships therein (which seem perfectly pleasant and consented to among its participants) are in the end framed as a game by the narrative. As something that these young people may grow out of in a few years. That, in the end, it only matters who you "end up with", and the gender of that person determines your sexuality in perpetuity. Carrie being unable to cope with a boyfriend with a more expansive sexuality than hers is one thing. The episode itself reducing these people and the varied sexual identities that they represent to a youthful "game" is insulting and harmful.

And in the end, that's what makes it deeply biphobic (not to mention heteronormative and homophobic in general) to me.

Sex & the City, 2x10, "The Caste System"

Between Carrie being a white woman (quite possibly the archetypal white woman, with all that distinction entails) and using the Indian caste system as a very thin metaphor for dating outside your social class, without really having any understanding of what that system is or entails, and Samantha dating a man with an East Asian "servant" who fullfills the racist "dragon lady" stereotype to the extreme, I'm prepared to call this an extremely racist episode and one of my least favorite, if not my least favorite episodes of the entire series (we'll see when I get to my previous least favorite, the infamously biphobic "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl").

[lifeinmywheels]

Morals in the Time of the Pandemic

Ive been thinking a lot about how much I’ve been ignorant about vaccines.

I know many people don’t get the flu vaccine. Sean got his first flu shot a couple years ago. Him and his mom almost never get sick. But I do so I get the flu shot. And that’s just how it’s been and we’ve all considered the norm. (I understand if there’s an actual reason for not getting a shot like can’t afford it or would die).

A huge reason I want people to get vaccinated is because I don’t want Covid or whatever sick being spread and people just getting someone in their office sick. I want people vaccinated to protect other people.

Have we as a society just stopped pushing the morals to do what we should protect others. But it seems like now that if theres any inconvenience like a needle or an hour drive or paying an extra dollar on your tab we’d rather not do it even if it could save a life.

I was raised in a Christian house and was taught the we, as Christians, should have and show compassion to all. Wouldn’t that also mean getting vaccinated no matter your problem with vaccines (besides being medically excused)??? My real dad, whom was not in my home life, taught me the same lesson but one that didn’t have religious structure; it’s the duty of each human to show and have compassion to all. That includes getting vaccinated, right, no matter your issue?

The main issue with our society, in general, is that our society is really about what can I do to help ME. Not, how can I help our others so our society flourishes.

My question is: With that being said and the fact that I want to keep growing into the person I want to be without turning back to those [previously said] ways; how do I keep fighting for things to change and how much of myself is enough to compromise to be with or around people that don’t share the moral that we need to do things even if it’s an inconvenience to save a life?

One of my sisters said “We were gifted this time to reevaluate how our culture & society works and it is nuts that people are rushing back into it blindly. I think you just have to be true to yourself and speak out when you see things that need to change.”

This reply was such a helpful reminder to me. And I will.

[brokenhabitsmag]

RIP GEORGE FLOYD

In the past few days, there’s been a video of George Floyd being murdered in cold blood virally circulating the internet and social media. I couldn’t tell you what possessed me to write about this particular case but something in my brain clicked this morning when I opened my eyes; I’m alive and I will never have the fear of being brutalised by police for the colour of my skin.

The first thing I want to bring to light is the fact that caucasian police officers MURDERED someone in broad daylight in cold blood, simply because he has more melanin in his DNA. Police are meant to be a symbol of safety and help and kindness and the fact that, throughout history and in present day, policemen/women/officers have been abusing their power to make minorities feel inferior to them is disgusting. If you’ve seen the video, you can hear George repeatedly saying “I cant breathe” “Please don’t kill me” “I’m going to die”, the policeman proceeded to put pressure on his neck for 7 minutes. During these 7 minutes, civilians were trying to help George but were told if they get too close they will be detained or maced. 

“Bad people can wear uniform”. That’s something my friend said to me today whilst we were taking about it and I don’t think anything has ever made so much sense to me. The system is corrupt and that’s the reality the governments want to cover up. They give murderers the power to murder with no consequence. These people do not wake up one day with the thought of “I want to kill someone today” and do it, it’s something they’ve been thinking on for a while. The (now fired) criminal involved in the murder of George Floyd is called Derek M. Chauvin. Derek M Chauvin was a Minneapolis Police Officer. The technique Chauvin used to detain George Floyd was NOT demonstrated as a part of the departments training. Derek Chauvin was put on leave in 2011 for an inappropriate police shooting of Alaskan Native American, Leroy Martinez. Chauvin was one of the officers involved in the brutal murder of Wayne Reyez, Reyez was a latino man who had 16 bullets forced into him with 42 rounds being fired at him. Chauvin has currently got 12 Police Brutality complaints against him in the Minneapolis Office of Police Conduct complaint database. They are all listed as “closed”, “non-public” and “no discipline”. Derek M Chauvin is being represented by Tom Kelly, the same attorney who got Jeronimo Yavez aquitted (Yavez murdered Phaillandro Castile).  Derek M Chauvin. Know his name. Let people know what he’s done. Spread awareness.

Racism is taught. That is something I strongly believe in. When we are born, we don’t see colour and I mean that literally. Nobody wakes up thinking “today I’m going to be racist.”, 99.9% of the time, villains in movies or a tv show is a person of colour and young children grow up watching these thinking that this is the norm. Kids then go to school and when they play cops and robbers or whatever it is, the kid with colour in his or her skin will be coined the villain simply because this is what they are conditioned to think. The fact that fear is instilled in people of colour from such a young age is so sad, it’s something i’ve witnessed first hand. In school we are taught to love everyone no matter what but racism does not start and finish with school and the education system, it’s continued in the household, teachers can only do so much. The responsibility of educating children out of school hours then falls into the hands of parents. If you are a parent or guardian or have siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends siblings etc, please make sure to educate them to be anti-racist, it must stop and the only way it’ll happen is if we start doing what the older generations have done before us and teach those younger than us the right way. Racism is something so normalised that when we speak up for those who have been a victim of it, we get attacked and shunned upon. RACISM IS THE PROBLEM, NOT P.O.C!!!!!!!

There are people out there now protesting that ‘all lives matter’ and as much as that it is true, people do not see that the reason the Black Lives Matter movement has been created is simply because Black Lives Matter. White people, whether you are ethnic or not - as long as you have white skin and can westernise yourself and hide your heritage, are not in danger as much as people of colour. This is not me saying that if you’re from ethnic origin, you are not in danger, I’m saying that if your skin isn’t black then you are not waking up everyday in a modern world in fear of your life. Let me make it simpler to understand for those who will talk their shit; if you have 2 kids in front of you and one starts crying are you going to comfort the child in distress or the child who is completely fine? Obviously the child in distress, now apply this logic to the current racism problem we have. Black Lives Matter was created by the oppressed for the oppressed and those who support the struggle of the oppressed. It is not about all lives mattering, not everything is about the privileged so please, if you’ve never been a target of racial profiling, shut the fuck up and let those whom have make their voices be heard loud and clear. People who sit there and say ‘all lives matter’ and don’t support the BLM movement, you listen to their music, you appropriate their culture, you eat their food, you talk like them, you watch their movies but you don’t want to join them in their suffering? You bleed the same blood, you breathe the same air, but if you have white skin, you are more likely to be heard, so please USE YOUR VOICE TO LET THIS BE KNOWN; WE WILL NOT STAND DOWN UNTIL EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN RACIALLY PROFILED, FACED POLICE BRUTALITY AND MURDERED FOR THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN IS AVENGED. THEY CANT STOP ALL 7 BILLION OF US!!!

THE UK IS NOT INNOCENT EITHER!!!! GET THIS RIGHT, RACISM IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!

REMEMBER THIER NAMES, FIGHT FOR THEM (UK);

MARK DUGGAN              JIMMY MUBENGA          JOY GARDENER

SARAH REED                  MICHEAL POWELL          SEAN RIGG

SHEKU BEYOH                 LEON BRIGGS              LEON PATTERSON

CHRISTOPHER ADLER        RICKY BISHOP        CYNTHIA JARRETT 

SMILEY CULTURE            BRIAN DOUGLAS        CHERRY GROCE

DEREK BENNETT            KINGSLEY BURRELL     JOY GARDENER

RODGER SYLVESTER           AZELLE RODNEY         HABIB ULLAH

FARUK ALI           ADRIAN THOMPSON             JEAN CHARLES DE MENEZES 

DEMETRE FRAZER        ASTON MCLEAN    SENI LEWIS 

ANTHONY GRANGER     ROCKY BENNETT     ALTON MANNING    

MARK NUNES     BELLY MUJINGA    SHUKRI ABDI    

CHRISTOPHER KAPESSA   

[iknowthekoolaidflavor]

The Story of Beauty

Part 1     Part 2    Part 3

Pairing: Daveed x reader

Word count:  About 2.7k

Premise: Daveed learns the truth about Sean and Diane.

A/N: The trigger warnings also apply to this chapter.

**TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, MENTIONS OF NONCON**

Daveed woke up to the sound of you grumbling in your sleep. He only had a couple of hours to rest that night. Every time he felt you move, he would make sure you were okay, stay awake for at least 30 minutes, then fall asleep. For the most part, you would toss and turn a bit, then doze off. He froze as you reached across the bed in search of something with your eyes still shut. Daveed hesitated before he held his hand out. When your hand was in his, you relaxed and moved closer to him. It didn’t take long for him to feel you pressed against him.

You stayed like this for another hour before waking up to Daveed’s arm wrapped around you with your face buried in the crook of his neck. Daveed tightened his hold on you as you wrapped your arm around him as well. It was still a little dark in the room, but you realized you were in the guest bedroom.

“(Y/N)”, Daveed called you softly

You caught him staring, wondering why you were here and why he seemed so concerned. He watched as you yawned, then rolled on your back.

Staring at the ceiling and Daveed’s presence brought you a sense of peace. You remembered the dinner, you fell asleep in your bed last night, and you saw Sean’s face. Every part of you tensed when your memory was flooded with what happened the night before. The nightmare, seeing his face, and Daveed carrying you out the bedroom.

He could hear your shallow breathing. Your hands gripped the sheets as you tried to breathe, something was sitting on your chest. This was the one place you thought you would be safe from them, yet they invaded your sense of security as always. Soon, they would be moving up the street and you were beginning to feel as trapped as you did when you were back home.

Daveed called your name. He was still here with you. You were never alone.  

“Can you hear me (Y/N/N)?”

You nodded. He knew you needed a distraction to keep you from sinking even further.

“What’s...six plus six?”

“Twelve”, you blurted out

“What’s twelve plus six?”

You weren’t paying attention to what he was doing, but you welcomed it anyway.

“Eighteen”

When you reached seventy two, he helped you through a breathing exercise until you felt the pressure start to fade. He suggested that you take a shower, but you declined for the moment. You sat with Daveed in silence, fingers still intertwined. He talked to you about his next project with Rafa, how his mother was doing, and a story from when he was in college.

Across the hall, you could hear the bedroom door open. You squeezed Daveed’s hand, knowing that one of them was awake. You wanted to feel that sense of security again, but you knew it would never come with them still in your home. He grew quiet when he realized what you were listening to. When the door shut, you stopped squeezing.  

“You don’t feel comfortable?”, he asked

“No”

“Is it because of someone in the house?”

“Yes”

“Is it both of them?”

“Yes”, you managed to get out

“It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me everything now, but I want to make sure you’re safe. I’ll ask them to leave”, he said as calm as possible, “I’m so sorry (Y/N/N). I thought it was a good idea to surprise you, should have talked to you about it before I invited them”

He stopped getting out of bed when he felt you grab his arm and pull him back.

“Baby, I don’t know what they did, but they can’t stay here”

You rested your head on his shoulder, feeling him start to relax.

“He...they used to”, you took a deep breath

When you felt him squeeze you tight, you felt like you could start over again.

“My mom remarried when I was in middle school. As soon as I met Sean, I immediately felt uncomfortable around him and I couldn’t figure out why. I tried to get used to him being in the house, but the longer he stayed, the more it felt like something was off. I would catch him checking out my brother’s friends when they were in high school. He always had his eye on someone younger than him. I tried talking to my mother about it, but I think she believed I was making it up because I missed my dad. My mother would tell me I just need to open up more, get to know him, yet I remember that my brother’s friends were no longer allowed at the house”

It grew quiet as you played with the hem of your shirt.

“She is so in love with him. In her eyes, Sean can never do anything wrong. She’s convinced he’s the best thing that ever happened to us. I knew better and he proved me right.”

You explained to him how he came into your room one morning while your mother was in the shower. This was normal for you. You had a little brother that shared a room with you. At various times at night, they would wake him up to go to the bathroom so he wouldn’t wet the bed, but that morning was different. Instead of waking up your brother, you felt a hand squeezing your breast. You squeezed your eyes shut pretending to be asleep, praying for the moment to be over.

He finally leaves the room with your brother and eventually he leaves for work. When the words failed to pass your lips, you sent a text to your mother to explain everything. When she came in your room crying, you thought you had an ally, someone you could trust, but that all changed when she told you weren’t allowed to tell anyone, specifically your older brother. Years later you found out she said this because she didn’t want you, “running someone’s name through the mud over something that may or may not have happened”.

Daveed tensed next to you. There were so many thoughts crossing his mind. He didn’t want to imagine you as a child dealing with a grown man touching you. He knew better than to interrupt you now, so he remained silent.

You struggled to get the rest of the story out when your mother made Sean come home. He denied it with everything in him as he cried and grabbed his bible. Did he think that prayer would make you forget what he did to you? Whatever it was, your mother fell for it. You wanted to scream, cry, hit him as hard as you could, yet you remained quiet as he left the house.

When he returned home, he ignored you as if you did something wrong. Your mother most certainly didn’t help. She came home as if you weren’t scared. As if you weren’t hurting. She pretended as if nothing happened. She never knew about the times that he would “accidentally” open the door when you were getting dressed or when he hands went too low when he hugged you and she never would because deep down you knew who she loved more.

It wasn’t you.

You stopped hugging him. You kept your distance. A week after that, he would come in your room every morning under the guise of getting your little brother to put his hands were they shouldn’t have been in the first place. You wanted to scream and call for help, but it always felt like no one would come for you. Forcing your mind to go someplace else until he was done became the norm for you.

In the years to come, you would grow to resent your mother and despise your stepfather. You never wanted to come home. You would find yourself arguing with them all the time. Diane grew to think it was because you were a teenager. It was actually because of a grown man touching you and it always went unchecked.

Daveed was still silent, taking it all in as he stared at the wall. He was going to kill Sean when he got his hands on him.

“What happened after?”, he asked tentatively

“Eventually, it all came out. When we were out with our family and I couldn’t take it anymore. He stopped just before I reached my junior year of high school, but I was 21 and still having nightmares about what he did to me. When I finally spoke up, so many people from my family were upset, but their anger was directed at me. They couldn’t believe that I would lie about Sean. Of course, it was my mother’s doing. Ever since I told her what happened, she started telling anyone who would listen that I was lying to destroy the one good thing that happened to her after my father. She thought I was jealous”

“That’s why you moved to New York and kept your distance?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t be around them anymore. Don’t get me wrong, there were a select few that believed me, but being around the rest of my family became so painful. I just couldn’t take it anymore”

You finally took a breath. After all these years, you told him the one thing you kept buried for so long.

“I’m so sorry”, you mumbled

“For what?”

“I kept this from you for years. I thought that there was a chance that I would tell you and you wouldn’t believe me either”

He held you as the tears finally spilled over. Daveed knew the last thing you needed was more conflict, even though everything in him was telling him to drag Sean out of bed and kick his ass all the way to the airport.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You needed time to tell me and that’s okay. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me”

You stayed in his arms for a few minutes before you dozed off, exhausted from all the tears and heartache. Daveed decided to get up and get you something to eat for when you woke up again. He shut the door before he heads to the kitchen.

He wasn’t sure how to handle this without it getting out of hand. The second he tells Diane and Sean they need to leave, everything is going to come out and it’s not going to be pretty. A part of him didn’t care though. A part of him felt guilty. How could he let this happen? You trusted him and he allowed the two people who hurt the most into your home. He tried not to think about the idea of them moving up the street or being around your children.

As he reached the kitchen, mind racing at how you might be feeling, he opened the dishwasher. He remembered how off you were when he got home the other day. You were so jittery, uncomfortable...and you weren’t alone. He looked over at the island where Sean once sat, then raced upstairs.

Like a knee jerk reaction, as soon as you heard the door open and close, your eyes opened. The familiar footsteps make their way across the room and your body freezes. The bed dips as he lets out a sigh.

“Just like old times lovebug”, Sean grins as he runs his hand up and down your back

When his hand ventures lower, you tried to scream.

“There’s no need for that. By the time he makes it back upstairs, I’ll be gone. It’s not like he’s going to believe you. I miss--”

The door swung open, slamming against the wall. The thud was loud enough to reverberate through the entire house. Within mere seconds, Sean was on the ground with Daveed towering over him.

“Get out”, he seethed

“Nothing happened. I--”

“You can either leave or I can drag you. Either way you’re getting the fuck out”

Diane ran into the room worried when she couldn’t find her husband and heard Daveed starting to yell.

“What do you think you’re doing?”, she screamed as she pushed him away, “Get away from my husband”

“He was in here touching your daughter”

“Again with this”, she groaned, “I know my husband. He would never lay a hand on that liar. She lied then and she’s doing it now. Don’t fall for this little stunt Daveed. I’m trying to salvage whatever we have left of our relationship. I’m trying to make things work and you go and lie again”

‘It’s not a lie’, you thought

“(Y/N) would never lie about something this big. You’re just a poor excuse of a mother. Where are you in life, that would allow you to pick some man over your child”

“I don’t know why I trusted you with my child”, she scoffed, “If I knew you would be dumb enough to fall for her shit, I would have tried to break you up before you got married”

‘She’ll never choose you over him’

Daveed towered over your mother. He wasn’t going to raise a hand to your mother, but the second she moved out the way, Sean was a dead man.

“Then why is she having nightmares? Why does she tense up whenever he’s in the room? Why haven’t you seen your daughter in over a year?”

“Because she feels guilty for what she did”

“No I don’t”, you screamed

The room fell silent at your outburst.

“I trusted you. You used to tell me that you would look out for me, that you would always have my back, yet when I needed you most, you chose him over me. It’s not jealousy, it’s a daughter in need of her mother”, you cried, “I needed you and you weren’t there for me and you still aren’t now”

“Then why haven’t you said anything about it in all these years, huh?”

“You know good and damn well you and the rest of the family shut me down as soon as I told you. It was all because of you”

“I--”

“We don’t need to salvage a thing. I never want to see you again. You have no right to call yourself my mother. You have no right to be in our lives or our children's’. Both of you need to stay far away from us”

“(Y/N)--”

“Get the fuck out Diane”

By the time you finished you were in Diane’s face, tears streaming down your cheeks, ready to swing. You would fight them both if you had to. Sean pulled himself off the ground and made a sad attempt to get between you and your mother.

The second he was off the ground, Daveed swung as hard as he could and Sean dropped to the ground once again.

“Don’t you ever come back. You have ten minutes to get your shit out of here and that includes your husband”, Daveed growled as he gently pulled you into the master bedroom

Within in seven minutes, you heard the front door slam shut and you took a deep breath.

“I’ll always believe you no matter what”, he said as he kissed your forehead, “Do you need some space?”

“No”

You laid in bed, head resting on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat reminded you that you were still here and he was here with you. Daveed never planned on leaving your side unless you wanted him to.

Your mind went to the day that Sean first stole your peace of mind. You never thought you would be in a place where someone would know about every gruesome part of your life and yet they still loved you unconditionally. Things were so different now. You could get through this.

Daveed help you tight as you both relaxed in the silence. He would do whatever he needed to make sure you felt secure.

In the silence of the late morning, you reminded yourself that they were gone, it was a little easier to breathe, you were safe.

[queermediastudies]

Identity, Infidelity, and iPhones: A Critique of “Tangerine”

Tangerine, set in Los Angeles in 2015, follows the journey of two black transgender women through the streets of West Hollywood the day that one of them is released from jail. The main character, Sin-Dee Rella, learns from her friend Alexandra that her fiance, Chester, has been cheating on her while she was in jail for a month. Sin-Dee sets off to seek revenge on Chester and the “other woman”. The film, which takes place over the course of Christmas Eve, depicts sex work, infidelity, drug use, singing performances, transphobic violence, and more. The plot comes to a peak with all the main characters in one donut shop, where the biggest secret of the film is revealed. Part drama and part comedy, Tangerine is a story of revenge, friendship, identity, sexuality, and love. 

The reception of Tangerine was rather mixed. The film was highly acclaimed for its methods of production, as it was shot entirely from three iPhone 5s smartphones. It was also praised for its casting: the two main characters, Sin-Dee and Alexandra, are played by Kitana Kiki Rodriguez and Mya Taylor, two openly transgender actresses. Taylor won several independent film awards for her role (Shawan, 2015). Today, the film has a score of 96 on Rotten Tomatoes. However, the film has also received criticism about its portrayals of trans characters. 

While Tangerine exhibits themes that align with aspects of queer theory, it also has some problematic elements within its production and content. As a viewer, my personal subject positionality impacts my interpretations and criticisms of the film, and my identity informs how my reading of the film differs from others’. Overall, Tangerine is a complex text that requires many different perspectives to dissect.  

One of the major themes evident in Tangerine is intersectionality. This film follows the lives of two transgender black women who are also sex workers. This represents an intersection of marginalized gender identity, race, and class, all of which overlap and inform each other to create experiences unique to these particular positions in society. The intersection of these many marginalized identities is not often represented on screen, and this film was made in the 2015, pre Pose era. 

Other apparent themes in the film include trans identity and gender performativity. In one scene, Sin-Dee drags Dinah, the “other woman” to Alexandra’s performance where she sings Doris Day’s Toyland in a club. Dinah later refers to the performance as a “drag show”, to which Alexandra sternly replies “I am not a drag queen”. This exchange challenges Dinah, who, rather than deconstructing her ideas of gender, still thinks of Alexandra as a man performing as a woman. Although Tangerine includes trans characters, the film does not give Sin-Dee or Alexandra much more background or storyline other than their trans identity, a critique that will be explored more in later sections. 

One of the most common praises for Tangerine is for its method of filming: the entire film was shot using iPhones and a four dollar editing app. This cheap, user-friendly technology exhibits a queer approach to production. As Scott & Fawaz point out in Queer About Comics, “low-tech quality makes comics either fundamentally democratic or especially available to democratic practices” (Scott & Fawaz, 2018, p 201). This idea is reflected in Tangerine, as the groundbreaking use of iPhones showed audiences the endless opportunities available with more readily accessible technology. The editing of the film also exemplified some nontraditional techniques. The footage was edited to be quite oversaturated, giving it a slight orange hue, thus the name Tangerine. These film choices deliberately broke cinematic norms.  

Tangerine mirrors Pose when it comes to some of its criticism. Because of the casting of two trans women of color, the film was able to deflect a lot of criticism. Dr. Martin makes this argument with Pose, saying that “These gay and trans actors of color function as a shield for Pose’s problematic representational politics” (Martin, 2018). While the casting of these two actresses seems groundbreaking, the film itself was created and written by two straight, white, cisgender men, Sean Baker and Chris Bergoch. These two men received the praise and profits from Tangerine even though there were many problematic layers within the casting, production, content, and intended audience of the film. 

For one, although Baker and Bergoch may have had good intentions by trying to cast black trans actors, their methods for finding actors were questionable. Their desire to create this film came from Baker’s “fascination” with a particular Los Angeles intersection that was known for sex work. “As straight, white, cisgender men, he and frequent writing partner Chris Bergoch knew they needed a collaborator familiar with the area’s culture. Approaching people on the street proved futile, so they wandered over to a nearby LGBT center. There, Baker instantly “gravitated” toward a transgender woman named Mya Taylor, an aspiring entertainer who had never acted before, but was game for whatever Baker and Bergoch wanted” (Jacobs, 2015). The intense interest in a community that Baker is not a part of seems voyeuristic if not intrusive. Also, the way that Baker found Mya Taylor shows a situation where Taylor has very little power in the creation of this film. While Baker did intend to get an “inside perspective” of the area’s culture rather than relying on his own perspective, his casting of Taylor seems to be solely based on the fact that she is a black trans woman and was willing to participate. This has some connotations of tokenism and performativity that must be looked at more closely. 

Secondly, the film itself has many issues of representation of trans lives. Overall, Sin-Dee and Alexandra have been propped up as “window dressings” of the film. As Rich Juzwiak states in a critique of the film, “We get virtually no sense of Sin-Dee’s interior life, and the sense we get of Alexandra’s is eye-rollingly trite (she wants to be a singer)” (Juzwiak, 2015). We do not get much of a sense of these characters’ lives outside of sex work, such as their backgrounds or even where they live when they are not on the streets. Instead, Baker and Bergoch rely heavily on tropes and stereotypes of black trans women as well as sex workers. On the other hand, they show the family and home life of Razmik, a cab driver who is a regular customer of Sin-Dee and Alexandras. This makes sense with the later plot, but the stark distinctions between these characters are clear.

The obsession with anatomy in Tangerine presents another layer of concern. For one, the fetishization of trans women was a major component of the film. Razmik consistently objectifies and fetishizes trans women. We see this when he unknowingly picks up a cis woman, then proceeds to kick her out of his car when he realizes she is not trans. This fetishization is dehumanizing, as it portrays trans women as objects of a straight male’s gaze rather than people with complex identities. Cavalcante (2017) criticizes films such as Boys Don’t Cry and TransAmerica for “scenes in both films that fetishized genitalia” (Cavalcante, 2017). This obsession with the anatomy of trans bodies is also shown when Dinah calls Chester “homo” for wanting to marry Sin-Dee. Selena, the woman that Razmik picked up, also called him “homo” when she realized he was looking for a trans woman. This implies that Sin-Dee and other trans women are men, invalidating their female identity. There are also consistent references to Dinah as a “real” woman or a “fish”. This reference implies that, as a cisgender woman, Dinah’s biology is what makes her a woman, and that trans women are not real women. While the trans characters use this reference themselves, it is still problematic to use biology as the determining factor for womanhood. Rather than challenging this implication, Tangerine consistently perpetuates transphobic language and ideas.

As viewers, it is important to recognize our own subject positionality when critiquing films. Personally, as a young queer woman of color in college, I often tend to have a critical, almost cynical lens with many texts. For one, as a mixed-race person, I rarely see images of myself in the media, so I understand the importance of representation. When I do come across characters that I identify with, I often will fall prey to the trap of representation without considering larger structures within media. 

Because of my subjective experiences as a queer woman, I would say I am also sex-positive and sex work positive. I had trouble with some criticisms of Tangerine that I found online because many people took issue with the portrayal of Sin-Dee and Alexandra as sex workers. The particular editorials I came across used a lot of anti-sex worker language. While I agree that “trans women as sex workers” is a trope that must be challenged, my own positionality tells me that there is nothing inherently wrong with sex work. Sex workers deserve to have their stories told and they deserve respect and dignity. While there is a lot of questionable material in Tangerine, I don’t think the presence of sex work alone is inherently problematic. However, the portrayal of sex work as indecent, as it was sometimes portrayed in Tangerine, contributes to the stigma against it. My personal experiences and views further complicated my reading of this film. 

At first glance, Tangerine seems indisputably groundbreaking based on its cast and the characters it is representing. However, a closer look behind the scenes reveals that the features praised in the film are a veil for some questionable processes. A close examination of the text recalls Tourmaline’s Teen Vogue piece: “Too often, people with resources who already have a platform become the ones to tell the stories of those at the margins rather than people who themselves belong to these communities. The process ends up extracting from people who are taking the most risks just to live our lives and connect with our histories…” (Tourmaline, 2017). If we truly want a raw, real look at the lives of trans people of color and sex workers, we must leave the storytelling up to them, rather than approaching these communities with nosy voyeurism as Baker did. However, Tangerine revealed the possibility of a full-length film created with very limited technology. Perhaps the next breakout film will be a story created by trans women of color using nothing but iPhones.  

  Works Cited

Critique by Lucy Briggs

Jacobs, M. (2015, July 9). Tangerine may have had a tiny budget, but the film's heart is bigger because of it. Huffington Post. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tangerine-movie-transgender_n_559bc990e4b05d7587e22881.

Juzwiak, R. (2015, October 17). Trans sex work comedy Tangerine is the most overrated movie of the year. Gawker. Retrieved from http://defamer.gawker.com/trans-sex-work-comedy-tangerine-is-the-most-overrated-m-1717662910.

Martin, A. L. (2018, August 2). Pose(r): Ryan Murphy, trans and queer of color labor, and the politics of representation. Los Angeles Review of Books. Retrieved from https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/poser-ryan-murphy-trans-queer-color-labor-politics-representation/.

Scott, D. & Fawaz, R. (2018) Queer about comics. American Literature, Volume 90, Number 2, June 2018, pp 197-219. Doi: 10.1215/00029831-4564274

Shawhan, J. (2015, August 6). Beyond using progressive filming techniques and casting, Tangerine is expressive and warm. Nashville Scene. Retrieved from https://www.nashvillescene.com/arts-culture/film/article/13060247/beyond-using-progressive-filming-techniques-and-casting-tangerine-is-expressive-and-warm. 

[mangled-dreams]

oof can you please write a thing where Jameson is self harming and the other egos find out and comfort him? I just love the septic fam and I love fluff. Thank You!!

Okay, so here we are. It’s not overly fluffy, but I feel like it has the right amount of fluff and family support.

Not Alone.

It’s hard to see, hard to notice this secret he keeps. Even hiscloses family hasn’t seen his secret despite it being so in theopen. He never brings attention to his secret, or what kinds ofdemons he keeps at bay, but apart of him hopes someone will finallynotice; he hopes someone will help him.

Waking up early Jameson takes a shower and dresses. Carefully hetends to his open wounds and slips on his long sleeved dress shirt.It’s not always for fashion that Jameson wears the long sleevedshirts, or even because it’s iconic for him, it’s the scarsetched into his skin by his own hand. 

Straightening his vest Jameson looks himself over nodding at hisimage with approval. Taking his bowler hat from a small hat rack heslips it on his head and leaves his room. Today is a new day and maybe it won’t be so bad, maybe he’ll get through today and winagainst his depression.

He can only hope.

Waking up early once again Jameson showers and returns to hisbedroom. He stands in front of his mirror looking at the blood dripdown his arm. He lost last night. He lost against himself and hisskin paid the price. Clenching his fists Jameson scowls at hisimage. 

This is not who he wanted to be, it’s not who he’s supposed tobe. He’s supposed to be strong, a beacon for love, acceptance. andstrength; not this mess of anxiety, depression, and self loathing.He’s supposed to be stronger.

Self hate boils hot and angrily inside his chest until he reacts. Hisfist shoots out smashing into the mirror in front of him. The piecesof mirror splinter and shatter around his hand droplets of crimsonred drip painfully slow from the cuts on his hand and wrist. Theblood mingles with the already steady flow from the single cut he'ddealt himself.

He doesn't move immediately, staring at the only true representationof himself staring back at him. All angles reflected back at him, notjust the one most people want or need to see. He's broken just likethis mirror.

Noamount of glue or kind words will put the pieces back together. Therewill always be tiny shards that will remain missing and without themthere is no whole picture to view. When reality of his actions set inJameson feels the pain.

Grimacingto keep from crying out Jameson slowly retracts his hand, grabbing aclean washcloth from the small cabinet next to him and lays it out onthe counter top. Being careful as possible Jameson rolls his sleeveup before finding tweezers and peroxide to disinfect his cuts.  Pieceby piece Jameson picks out the shards of glass until there is nothingleft then scrubs his hand and wrist with peroxide and wraps it up.

Hewakes early again and showers carefully. His flesh hurts and the cutsare healing. The others asked questions but he remains vague aboutwhat happened. Flexing his hand after another dressing change Jamesonsighs and leaves his room. He can't stay in his room indefinitely andhe has to get his mirror replaced. He'd already told Sean there wasan accident in his room with the mirror just not the details.

“Jay!You ready?” It's Chase that's asking. Today is his creation day,similar to a birthday for normal people and he's requested everyonego with him to an event he was very nondescript about.

Fixinghis vest and hand Jameson keeps his sleeves on both arms rolled up.He can't roll the sleeve down on his right arm so he figured to keepit symmetrical. Placing the gold pocket watch into the left vestpocket he heads down stairs to meet with the others.

Everyonewaits patiently for Jameson. Everyone's guessed but no one has theguts to ask about what really happened. Asking and receiving theanswer they dread will only make it real and they don't know how tocomfort him past telling him they're there for him. Surely justsaying they still love and cherish him won't be enough to comforthim, will it?

Witha few members of the house missing for work or personal reasonsChase, Marvin, Henrik, and Jameson file into Chase's newer model CRVand head to the event. There is laughter ad jokes, talks aboutupcoming plays and sporting events. Jameson's invited to them all.

Despitewhat he may think the others enjoy having him around. He'ssophisticated enough to enjoy Broadway plays and the Opera andskilled enough to join Chase in the mud on dirt bikes. He's quick andcan catch on to Marvin's magic acts and assist when needed. He canhold his own against Anti on the worst of days and bright andcheerful to match Sean's personality. He can keep a secret betterthan anyone else in the house and they all love him for that, theyjust wish he wouldn't keep this secret from them.

Comingto their destination everyone files out of the CRV and walk into abusy restaurant. The young man nods to Chase and allows him and hisparty through without question. A few people complain but no one goesto stop the party of four from continuing on. Chase leads everyone tothe VIP floor.

Jamesonlooks around the space. He sees a single table with people sittingtalking quietly among themselves. The closer Jameson and the othersget the more Jameson realizes its the others. Anti, Sean, Jackieboyincognito, even Sigyn and Anti's first actual girlfriend Mari Anna.

Everyonetakes a seat and Jameson removes his hat placing it just above hisplate. He greats everyone, nodding happily to Mari Anna and Sigyn.It's not often that he gets to see the lady loves. A comfortablechatter continues and before anyone knows it everyone is laughing anddrinking a few spirits.

Asthe evening continues on it's merry way Jameson notices Anti keepslooking at his bandaged left arm. A prickling feeling crawls up hisspine at the thought Anti doesn't completely believe his excuse.

“Jameson,can was talk in private a moment?” Anti asks. It's shocking andweird to have Anti ask so normally that Jameson simply nods his headand the pair stand up. Anti leads Jameson over to a darkened cornerand sighs. “Jameson, we know the mirror wasn't an accident.”

Jamesonpulls away quickly. An excuse or a denial is hot on his tongue but hebites it back. “How did...”

“Weknow you Jameson. You can talk to us. All of us.” Anti says lookingat the youngest created ego. Despite his creation date, Jameson isthe oldest ego. His time period long before anyone else.

“Idon't wish to burden you.”

“MariAnna is a councilor. Even if you don't want to talk with her sheknows good people to talk with.” Anti says keeping his tone low.It's obvious their conversation is not a pleasant one but untilJameson is ready to say the words himself, Anti won't rat him out.

Jamesonlooks at Mari Anna laughing happily with the others. As if her namehad been called out Mari Anna looks over at them and smiles softly.Out of his range of sight Anti smiles at her, silently thanking herfor givng him the proofhe needed.

“Shetold you, didn't she?” Jameson asks.

“Sheconfirmed it to me. She knows better than most because she's asurvivor. Mari Anna tried to kill herself a few years back. She feltisolated in her family and that since no one saw her pain, or eventhought to call her out of the dumbest of lies about her cutting thatthey didn't care.”

Jamesonflinches a little. “How...”

“Underher gloves are the scars. She thought she could slit her wrists likeshe'd seen in movies, but didn't realize it would take forever tobleed out and that following the vein would mean greater success. Heryounger brother found her and rushed her to the hospital. She met acouncilor and talked to her for months afterwards. Mari Anna actuallycut so deep on her left hand that she's lost feeling and movement.”Anti explains as the pair watch Mari Anna take care to lift the knifein her left hand.

“Doesshe know you're telling me this?' Jameson asks a little miffed ifAnti is using Mari Anna as an example. The look in his brother’s eyes tells him Anti isn’t using her. Jameson’s never seen such a look of complete concern before for another person and it’s breath taking. 

“Sheasked that I did. You don't have to tell us everything, but know wedo care, and we do love you.” Anti says. After a few more minutes Anti leads Jameson back to thetable. The others greet them back but don’t ask any questions. 

It'snot immediate. Jameson had to take a few days to come to terms; hisfamily knew, they cared, but they didn't know how to help. Just thefact them knew and were trying to understand more about his feelingshelped keep his darker thoughts at bay. One by one each comes out alittle bit to met him half way. Chase was blunt as always, goingstraight into how he doesn't want to lose his little brother. Marvinand Henrik had more tact about their feelings and desire to help himin any way possible.

Seanis the last of everyone to take Jameson aside and talk to him. In aways it's the most comforting. Sean shares some of his low times inhis life both before and while doing YouTube, even to this point inhis life. He tells Jameson there is no shame in fighting againsthimself and losing a battle or two. Sean promises him that whateverhe needs everyone is there for him.

Littleby little over the next few months Jameson finds new life. His burdenlifted just a little with each encouraging word or show of solidaritywith the others. His brothers rallied around him like he'd alwayshoped and it's helped him cope in ways he'd never imagined.

Heno longer feels the need to keep himself locked away, set apart fromthem for fear of judgment. He has his people to help him though. It'snot to say there aren't flaws or days he can't help but hide away.He's just not alone anymore in his struggle. 

But what’s more, he’s still the same little brother--being treated like he always has been. Normalcy settled in, a new kind of normalcy. An open line of communication is in place and the shadows have little places to hide. 

For the first time in a long time Jameson feels hopeful, ready for the future; thanks to his family, he feels prepared enough to push forward with living.

[crawldepth-blog]

Fisticuffs

You walk into a convenience store. Maybe you grabbed a six-pack or some noms to tide you over till dinner, or maybe you popped in to get some cash from the ATM and you succumbed to marketing fuckery and just HAD to grab those Altoids or a bag of Doritos.

Whatever the case, there you are in line, waiting to pay. Something happens. Maybe you see someone you know, and that person is an asshole. An asshole at the very least; perhaps a stone cold enemy at the other extreme. Considering enemies, it could be a rival gang banger, a bully who fucks with you at school, somebody of another skin color for whom you have a hidden epithet, or even someone you just don’t like and you’re at a mental boiling point to do something about it.

The recipient of your ire is unimportant. What triggers you to escalate your ire to violence is.

Something else happens. Seeing your rival triggers a physical response. Your blood pressure rises. Your heart rate increases. You feel a flush across your face and your chest. In your mind, you’re not inciting anything when you call him or a bitch or shove them or even just pepper them with the stinkeye. However it is you choose to respond to the stimulus, let’s say that your response engenders another response from your target. And the next thing you know, you’re chest-to-chest slinging insults, tightening fists, pointing fingers, and about to serve up a beat-down.

You feel every pore in your body individually light up, tingling and hyper-aware. That’s the adrenalin kicking in, revving up your sadly devolved limbic system with thousands of years of Neanderthal genes that singularly serve to get you ready to kill. The epithets you throw could be nothing more than a bulwark against this genetic disposition to attack, psychological warfare designed to show force and peacock for the audience while also delivering custom-made lyrical barbs to your adversary’s psyche.

However it happens, a punch gets thrown or hands push a body off-kilter. More fists deploy. Sweat pours. You scuffle. The Doritos fall forgotten to the floor as your rage consumes you. Blood trickles, gushes, pours. Fight.

Your descent (ascent?) into violence may tap an ages-old genetic disposition to protect your tribe or to kill your food or even to slay your rival. Those environmental norms have changed a tad in the last couple-few thousand years. You evolved into Today’s Human, streamlined for GrubHub-enabled sustenance acquistion and 911 calls to the police reporting black people in your Starbucks. Generally speaking these days, our predisposition toward violence has more to do with a political will to improve oneself than actual defense and hunting. (Sean Hannity may say otherwise, but that guy can cock-gobble himself into oblivion. Seriously, go watch the John Oliver segment on how much that guy loves to “train for a fight” in case he is “accosted.” For fuck’s sake.) Your friends take up Brazilian jiu-jitsu and krav magra to hone their minds or improve their fitness, right? Hell, even the time-honored process of “jumping in” new members to a gang - where newbies get beaten by their brethren - aims to ensure they know what it’s like to have one’s ass kicked so that it baselines a certain level of violence competence, whether it’s intended for deployment or not.

So what propels you toward violence in this seeming safe and secure civilization where we have so many options for its safe release? In that context, why are there seemingly so many outbreaks of violence these days? More to the point, why are we still so surprised by it?

Let’s think about your threshold for doing harm. “Normals” will only fight if they have to. Their threshold for violence is high. Someone literally has to punch them in the face to convince them to put up their dukes. Many will not even leap to the defense of a loved one or ally in many situations, so pussified has normalcy become. These are your “beta cucks” that alt-right, pro-toxic masculinity voices decry as contributing to the downfall of modern man. Many of these same edge-of-violent individuals have to participate in a group with others of their own ilk before they will employ violence. The Proud Boys behave this way often: getting into fights as a group against a smaller number of adversaries. Often as a group against just one adversary. Seems like pussified behavior to me, but the threshold for these folks is only a little lower than the normals. They have to physically be part of a violent group before launching a kick or a punch of their own. In-group violence. Distributed faggotry.

In another corner of the continuum, think about the threshold for you and your enemy in the convenience store. Let’s say you’re hyper-aware of others that seek to do you harm in some way, not even physically but perhaps mentally or psychologically. Public disrespect from a rival weakens your reputation in some  communities, and by not responding to the disrespect in an overmatched way, your reputation could be permanently ground into irreparable paste in a community in which trust amongst your peers is how you survive. Think about that community as any cliche of urban living on The Street, maybe where that convenience store is the same bullet-riddled shithole where drugs get sold, bangers beat on their girls, and robberies invariably take place. In that community, your threshold for violence is much lower. A disrespectful word could set off the adrenalin kick for attack or at least prompt a heightened, outrageous response to “state prime.” Even the appearance of an out-group, nonconforming individual could incite you toward a wild response of this type. People have been known to attack police merely for being police, for wearing the badge. Of course, where turnabout’s fair play, police have been known to kill civilians for the mere heuristic of being African Amercian.

Malcolm Gladwell has written about how the thresholds for acceptable behavior increase the more that behavior is normed. In other words, the more you see a school shooting happen, the more you come to accept that that behavior is normal, and the more normal it is, the more likely you are to adopt the behavior (given certain triggers, of course). That theory of thresholds totally works. It explains why more people commit violence-based crimes.

It may also explain why we as a society seem to be arcing toward the normalization of violent conflict. Punching a motherfucker in the face may seem like the hoi polloi’s way to respond to bullshittery, but consider other thresholds for behaviors on the same end of the violence spectrum: psychological torture, name-calling, falsified news, intentional misrepresentation, hate speech, casual racism, gender exclusion, discrimination, gerrymandering, you name it. There are more ways to attack someone than punching them despite how awesome the power of bruising someone’s ugly mug feels. How much depravity must you accept to constantly belittle someone? How much more socially turgid, or even sociopathic is it to employ power over a person or a group of people through a disparaging lexicon? If you don’t understand or even believe in that level of power, then I invite you to call the next African American you meet a nigger and see how that works out for you.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., one of the most widely-cited United States Supreme Court Justices (serving from 1902-1932), once wrote, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” Excepting the positive notions of expanding the human mind, consider Holmes’ quote as an admonition: experience, perhaps in quantity, changes people. In the context of our little discussion about violence here, perhaps for the worse. Aggregate exprience over time creates new norms or normalizes certain behaviors, even and perhaps especially radical ones. So if the experience of violence gets normed in all its myriad forms - from fisticuffs to shootings to gaslighting to propaganda to hate speech and all ‘round the common ether - then how should we feel about that? Should we be horrified by the march of evolution, the continued genetic perforation of expectation as we discover new ways to violate our rivals? Should we become numb to it, to accept infinitely decreasing thresholds as the the propensity to visit violence on others increases? Should we rail against the march of normalization, to invoke the superhero ethic that there is always a better way? Should we dive into it wholeheartedly, not just accepting the new norms but engaging in it ourselves to understand the appeal?

“Self-improvement is masturbation,” said Tyler Durden. “Now, self-destruction...”

[nyxi-styx]

In all seriousness, all jokes and memes aside...

 @therealjacksepticeye

We may joke and say you’re killing us and driving us crazy and being a shithead/asshole/whatever other endearing insult...

But what you do for this community is absolutely incredible.

First of all you did a... what, 24 hour?... livestream for charity and you raised so much money. For children. That’s so amazing. And it shouldn’t be. Giving to charity should be enough of a norm to not be surprising or inspiring but alas, that’s not the world we live in. To me, this huge event you’ve had in the name of charity alone is a major testament to your kind heart. Secondly, look at how you brought your community... your fans... together with something they created and you decided to run with. Hundreds... probably thousands... of people around the world STARED AT THEIR SCREENS FOR HOURS ON END EVEN WHEN NOTHING HAPPENED. Because it was FUN. Yeah, we can go around and say “Oh man. Jack’s an asshole. He fucked around with us so hard. My life is over. My sanity is gone.” But you know how we love a bit of hyperbole. We don’t think you’re an asshole. Not in the malicious way. In the fun way. In the way that “asshole” is a term of endearment. I haven’t been in the fandom very long. I just became a Markiplier fan in mid 2016 and just became party of the JSE community within the past... 6-7 months. There are still a lot of references I don’t get. I don’t know who Chase and... Marv? Merv? The magician... are. I know who Schneeplestein is. I know Anti very well. And I’m learning about Jackieboyman. But more than that, I’m learning about these incredible, insane people who devote themselves to you. I’ll admit... sometimes I find the theorizing to be a bit much... but it makes people happy and distracts them from the horrors of this world and whatever they are enduring and that’s fantastic. The imagination of these people alone is so spectacular. And I have yet to be judged or called out in any sort of way for not being a fan as long or as deeply as others. This seems like a community that understands that everyone fans in their own unique way and that’s so important. Thirdly, the time and imagination you put into the AntiSepticEye content you release is absolutely awe-inspiring. The quality is always outstanding. Last night for example. You took nine looped videos and timed them with shocks, weird little things, surprises and jumpscares and no one knew what was going to happen next no matter how much they tried to theorize. It was almost 100% unpredictable. Most modern horror films don’t achieve that. I’m very much a fan of horror films but most of them aren’t scary. They reuse the same tropes. The jumpscares are predictable. They rely too heavily on gore, torture porn, body horror, and gross factor. You used the unsettling-ness of pure silence and the slipping-into-insanity feeling of staring at looped video for hours on end and it WORKED. Not only did it work, but it was HIGH QUALITY! Everyone was on edge. Please tell me you feel amazing for achieving something most horror movies and horror film directors don’t achieve. You may have used things that people typically find creepy, but you did it in a NEW way. You should feel really, really good about it. You should be shining, beaming with pride.

You were worried no one was taking Anti seriously and we are. We very much are. You have us on the edge of our seats. Sorry it took something so large and drastic to get everyone on board. Some of us took it seriously right out of the gate. Regardless though, you have everyone right where you want them now and we’re excited to be here.

Lastly, Sean, I just want to reiterate how amazed and inspired I am by what you have created and done here. I’m really glad to have been accepted so easily and readily into this fandom. I look forward to all the future content you will be bringing us. (Especially the Anti stuff because it’s just so cool and well-thought-out and amazing and it’s such a fun character) Thank you for being such a beacon of light (even when you’re being dark hardeeharhar) in this crappy world. Thank you for inspiring hope and spreading love and joy and positivity. If you read this, thank you for putting up with my crappy sentence structure. It’s what happens when I write emotionally instead of professionally. Happy Holidays (Merry Glitchmas) and Happy New Year. We can’t wait to see what you bring to us in 2018!

<3

[lifeisstrangeshortstuff]

React: S/O has a down period - no specific cause.

TW: Mentions of drug use.

Some days just don’t feel all that good, and that’s okay. It’s always alright to let yourself feel sad - it’s shown that people tend to feel unhappier when they think they should feel something that isn’t what they’re thinking. This is when people sometimes just feel really shitty, and the day just makes it feel kinda worse. Lately I’ve had an unusual down period, wish me luck that my first psychologist works for me ^_^ 

I did include Nathan in recovery and Jefferson pre-murder-y, and since this divulges from canon, it probably seems really out of character. I’m gonna warn the readers before the canon-timeline Nathan and Jefferson’s response because this is a piece meant to gear to someone who’s not feeling very well, and tbh, they’d be really shit at comforting someone. 

Disclaimer: Feel free to interpret how you like, and to start a discourse if you think my interpretation could use a tweak or two~

Max Caulfield

Max definitely notices that you’re not feeling well. At first, she doesn’t make a comment on it, not wanting to live up to her reputation as ‘nosy’ but she asks a little while later, worried. 

Upon hearing that you’re not feeling too good, and you yourself aren’t so sure, she’s initially clueless on how to comfort you. Max is surprisingly goal-orientated, preferring there to be some sort of cause she can alleviate or use her time-travel powers to help you. When there’s nothing to ‘solve’, she feels strangely restless.

She first suggests going out together to the Two Whales diner because it’s a familiar place that serves nice food, and she thinks that being away from the campus might make it a little less stressful. That, and, she can have a conversation with you about how you’ve been feeling and if there’s anything she can do.

It’s a sweet little date, and after that, you both can just walk around town, hand in hand sharing music through earbuds, before taking the bus home. She’s a comforting presence after a long day, who is very much in-tune with your emotions.

Chloe Price

She’s torn between giving you space and coming right up to you trying to pull you up because she hates seeing you like this but at the same time, she understands that sometimes, space is what’s needed. She’d never force comfort on you. She can really empathise with how you’re feeling, especially because she’s been in an emotionally terrible place. 

However, if she had her way, she’d take you out on a drive when the sun sets or when it’s nighttime and blast the music with the windows opened, to let the wind run through your hair, eventually parking somewhere where you both can sit and she can ask you what’s been going on, or where you can just cry on her shoulder.

If you’re irritable-not-feeling-good, then she encourages a more aggressive outlet, which is the way she vents her anger.

In general, her comfort is a bit more external, because she understands that if there isn’t a specific cause for your mood, it’s difficult to talk you into feeling better. 

If anything, she’ll play music on her phone and slow dance with you in the junkyard, away from everything, then stargaze. 

Warren Graham

He picks up on your down period early, because he has a slight tendency of being a little hyper-vigilant on how his s/o seems to behave, ready to jump in as soon as there seems to be a cause. 

He’s a little awkward about comfort, because he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries, but you’re his s/o, he cares a lot about you and doesn’t want to see you like this. Despite this awkwardness, you can tell that he is sincere in his actions. 

He asks you if you’re okay as soon as he sees you seem down, although he asks in a casual/slightly comical but caring manner. He’s patient and is more than willing to let you lay everything him.

If you want him to cheer you up, he proposes going for a drive-in date where you both can cuddle up and watch a movie, with the experience of an informal cinema, and you’re free to talk to him about anything at the time. 

Warren’s probably the most supportive guy you’ll come across, and the last person to come across as overbearing. If you choose to see someone for your moods, he’s 100% supportive and willing to come along and wait outside the room/office for you, if you ask.

Kate Marsh

This bean knows all about sad days. She’ll wrap you up in a blanket and make a cup of tea, offering an ear if you need one. If it’s just been a bad day, she’ll shower you with love and hugs. 

If there’s something specific bothering you, or a whole chain of events that just lead to this, she’ll be the most patient angel listening to you, validating your emotions and helping you understand that sometimes, you don’t need an excuse to feel sad, and that experiencing emotions are normal. 

If you haven’t been taking care of yourself lately due to your moods, she’ll help you out. For example, if you haven’t been eating, she’ll try to cook something for you - she’s not a fantastic chef but she can serve up a meal or two. If you haven’t been sleeping well, she’ll see what she can do to help, whether it’s read you a book or play some lullabies.

She’ll encourage you to get some fresh air and take a walk around in a park as the sun goes down, bringing along that old-fashioned picnic basket. 

There might be a few soft kisses - on your cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips. She’ll tentatively ask you if you want to seek help for your down period, and is respectful of your answer. 

Victoria Chase

If there’s no cause for your sadness, she feels at a loss for words. She wants to help you but she doesn’t know exactly what would ‘cheer you up’. It might sound like she’s dismissive, in that she thinks that there’s a clear solution, but it stems from wanting there to be a clear solution - dealing with Nathan is already difficult, and she doesn’t want all her close relationships to be stressful.  

She eventually asks you if you’d like to go out together and window-shop/shop in general. She doesn’t want you staying and moping in your room all day, thinking a walk around and maybe an ice cream date would cheer you up.

If you do go out, then she’ll buy you something that you like but decide not to spend your money on. She’s not as rich as Nathan, but she still has a considerable amount of money and doesn’t mind spoiling you to cheer you up every so often. 

She really wants to pamper you, like take you out for a spa day to just relax and forget about your problems. Or offer to smoke marijuana. (As someone who isn’t familiar with the culture, I didn’t write much here haha ^_^;;) 

If you really, really don’t want to go out… then she’ll reluctantly stay. But expect her to pamper you at home then, with a bath and the works - bath salts, essential oils, a little bit of alcohol, tea candles, and music. She’ll sit next to you, dipping her fingers in the water and asking you how you feel. If you let her, she’ll join you. Expect a few kisses.

Recovering!Nathan Prescott

Assuming Nathan is receiving the appropriate treatment and in a supportive environment (FUCK OFF SEAN PRESCOTT), post-Jefferson. 

He’s not in the best place to offer support since he’s currently in the middle of figuring himself out as well, but he offers what he can and it… it’s surprisingly good. A little similarly to Chloe, he’s been in a really shitty place and can empathise with you. While he always had cause to feel upset, he knows how it feels to suddenly just drop in your mood. 

Even though he’s not the guy who can healthily cope with someone who’s not feeling well (since he has his own issues), helping someone he loves does validate him a little bit, easing his feelings of uselessness and being disposable.

If you wanted to watch something to take your mind off of it, he’d pop on New Romantics and sit next to you and might occasionally make snide comments to try cheer you up. He’d watch your facial expressions to see if it was working - if not, he’d eventually be quiet and just sit next to you, letting you lean into him and pressing a soft kiss on your head. 

If you just seem upset and don’t mind him to do whatever he wants to do to cheer you up, he’d turn off the lights and close the blinds. Not for anything sexual, but just to cuddle with you and play some whale noises - things he used to have done to make himself feel better. It’s not for the sole purpose of feeling better, but it’s a good environment to cry in, especially if there’s nothing to be said because sometimes you don’t know why you’re upset. It’s good for catharsis, and if you don’t feel better, you’ll at least know that he’s there for you. 

If it seems like your mood has lasted for a good long while and affects your daily routine, he tries to ‘casually’ slip by the idea of seeing his therapist, but would completely drop it if you refuse.

Young!NotMurdererYet!Mark Jefferson

In general, Mark is a pretty distant person, especially with emotions. It’s not that he doesn’t experience emotion, but more that his empathy isn’t really tuned. However, he is adept at mimicking emotions and knows the appropriate responses to accommodate distress.

He does care for you, not as much as himself, but enough to not want you to be miserable. He’ll use his knowledge to comfort you, whether it be by listening, physical contact or just being a bit more considerate and affectionate than he’d normally be. 

Even though some people might say it’s disingenuous, since he’s drawing on his ‘social norms’ knowledge, and his version of ‘comfort’ is unusually structured, you could also say that he decides to actually do something about your sadness because he cares about you to some extent, instead of ignoring you and continuing with work that could be seen as more productive. 

He wouldn’t go out of his way to do something that disturbs his schedule too much, but if he sees a florist on the way, he might pick up a bouquet.

:: Now comes canon-timeline Nathan Prescott and Mark Jefferson, whose reactions are considerably less… considerate. If you’re not feeling very well, don’t read because it’s unlikely that their reactions would make you feel any better ::

Nathan Prescott

He has a lot of shit on his plate, even though he doesn’t want to dismiss the feelings of someone he loves, he’s too busy neck-deep in his own issues to notice if you haven’t been feeling well. This… probably doesn’t help. 

If you act irritable, it’s a recipe for disaster - he already feels like the world is against him and this is just making it worse. He’ll snap back without much thought as a defence from feeling hurt, ending in a fight where nothing is solved and both of you are just feeling even worse. 

If you act particularly melancholic to the point where even he notices, he’ll ask what’s wrong because he cares, but he’s not the most attentive or supportive person. How is someone who’s breaking down able to support others? He just… he doesn’t have the energy to help in a long-term way, he can only offer a shoulder to cry on or drugs/alcohol to forget everything. If there’s anything his money can offer, he’ll buy it, but other than that, it’s pretty difficult for him to support you. 

If anything, as soon as you tell him how you’ve been feeling, it worsens his feelings of being incapable or ‘not worthy’ to have you, because he doesn’t know what to do.

Mark Jefferson

Coming to this guy with your vulnerability exposed is such a terrible, terrible idea.

If he has need of you, he’ll be the comforting, sweet lover who says everything that you want to hear, soothing you. He’ll use this show of kindness as a way to guilt you into fulfilling whatever use that he has of you, and as a ‘get out of jail for free’ card when he gets angry and hurts you.