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hannahbarberra162 · 2 months ago

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Mating Call, Part 1 (Marco x Reader, dubcon, monster Marco)

18+ MDNI | on Ao3 | the next parts

Summary: The World Government has worked hard to obfuscate an interesting fact about Zoan Devil Fruits since the Void Century. In order for a Zoan Devil Fruit to be awakened, the Zoan user must find and claim their mate in accordance with their nature.

Zoan fruit users are driven to find their mates, seeking someone to fill the gnawing need within them, even if they don't recognize it themselves.

Thank you to @gouraminnow and @sordidmusings for reading through this for me! This whole series is a collab with @sordidmusings who came up with the idea of Zoans needing their mate to awaken their fruit - I'm hoping to write for more Zoans so I'm starting with one of my favorites :3

You had toiled and worked hard for so many years so that your life would be absolutely perfect. All your plans, all your studying and grinding, all the years of work and tests and memorization - all of it had finally paid off and now you were able to do what you wanted most in life.

Absolutely nothing.

Well, that wasn’t quite true.

You did still have to work occasionally as the private physician for CP0, but they weren’t often at Enies Lobby where you lived in the year round sunshine. And even when they were in town, they didn’t usually need any help from you other than routine medical care when they were forced to come into your office. The most intense work you’d done in the past 6 months was examining Hattori when he’d plucked out too many of his own feathers after a long night and you told him to decrease his alcohol intake.

You were double certified as a physician and veterinarian, which is how you landed the particularly high paying gig as CP0’s personal physician. After spending a decade (and small fortune) becoming a human doctor you realized that you didn’t care for people all that much. So you went back to school and became a vet and found the work much more satisfying. The patients were always much sweeter and never lied to you, unlike treating ungrateful humans.

The job had fallen into your lap after you’d been recruited by Sengoku himself. You’d been living in the New World after you graduated from vet school and taking contracts on various islands to see where you’d like to live, hopefully somewhere warm and sunny. Sengoku had burst into the small vet clinic, Yagi baying dolefully in his arms and demanded the help of the most senior vet on the island. You happened to be the only vet on the island, so you took care of his pet goat and gave it topical antibiotics for its case of orf.

After his careful examination of his beloved pet and copious amounts of reassurance that Yagi would be fine, Sengoku asked you a few questions about your background. He said he had the perfect job opportunity for you with your expertise in both animals and humans as repayment for helping Yagi. You hadn’t known what that meant at the time and frankly hadn’t cared when he showed you the salary - for that kind of money and job security you’d be willing to be Yagi’s personal assistant.

It turned out the Marines wanted someone competent in animal and human physiology to be available for the Zoan members of CP0 should they need a doctor. Since you graduated at the top of your class for both, you were a shoe in for the position and started shortly thereafter. You weren’t exactly a Marine since you didn’t go through their ranks but you were a contracted officer in the Medical Corps. You didn’t mind wearing the uniform and you didn’t have to go through basic training so however they justified your expensive salary was on them.

Yes, you were finally living the life you’d always wanted. You bought a small house close to the less inhabited shore of the island in order to have some well deserved privacy after years of living with multiple roommates in cramped apartments near your schools. You would roll out of bed in the late morning, check your snail for messages and find it empty, check your empty mailbox, and meander to the office. By early afternoon you’d be free from work and could pursue your hobbies. Technically you were on call 24/7 for CP0 (hence the high salary) but if they weren’t on the island the most they could do is call in an emergency and you could handle those questions under any circumstances.

Which meant that you spent your leisure time painting, singing, walking on the beach, getting high, and listening to music. Since you were only contracted with the Marines you didn’t have other duties and they couldn’t call you in to do anything beyond your contract. You painted some of the wildlife in the woods by your house, practiced singing some of the songs you heard on the snails and tried out every strain of marijuana you could get your hands on - the latest hit being mariejois-uana. Your life was fantastic and you were finally able to relax after decades of hard work.

Well, mostly. The drive that had gotten you this far in life also forced you to ensure that the animals of the island were at least in good health. After so many years in high pressure environments, you needed a little work to feel like you were a full person. To get your fill of needed stress, you took on vet clients outside of CP0 but it was run of the mill domestic pet issues. It didn’t keep you up at night and you were able to enjoy the fruits of your labors. After so many years of working high stress, low paying jobs, you’d finally hit the jackpot and were able to do jack shit most of the time.

Like today - it was the end of yet another sunny day at Enies Lobby and the cool evening weather was just perfect for opening all your windows, getting high as fuck to listen to the latest Soul King album. You began softly humming the tune to his latest hit as you opened the windows to let in the evening breeze. As the curtains fluttered softly in the night, something sent a shiver down your spine, a rare moment of heebie jeebies. You usually felt safe at Enies Lobby, the base the heart of the Marine Corp and filled to the brim with people who could fight - but something felt off today.

You looked out the window from behind the curtains but didn’t see anything beyond the usual sights of the town in the distance. To get rid of the feeling of eyes on you, you closed the curtain a little but kept the windows open as you rummaged around for the newest Soul King album. You thought you’d left it on the coffee table but it wasn’t there - maybe you moved it into the bedroom? Mariejoisuana was supposed to take you to the highest heights - and made your memory shit too. You walked towards the bedroom to check there when you heard unfamiliar voices talking.

“Just use it man, it’s for the greater good.”

“I dunno, it feels bad. I’ve never used it outside of battle. Kinda feels like I’m just kidnapping a defenseless woman -”

“We are kidnapping a defenseless woman, but it’s for a good reason so -”

“ ShhHH! She’ll hear us and yell and make this whole thing so much harder than it has to be. I’d rather not have to fight 10,000 Marines, thank you very much Ace.”

You didn’t need to hear any more to know that you needed to escape now. There had been some Marine training around threats but you hadn’t really listened to the presentation - you assumed everyone else was. You kept moving swiftly towards your bedroom and thanked the gods your window was already open. You got your leg out the window to jump but hesitated as you looked down. The voices were getting louder but you were scared to make the jump to the ground below. You sat on the windowsill and brought your other leg out. You took a deep breath and prepared to push off -

“ Goddammit! I told you she was trying to escape! Oh no you don’t. Vortex,” a man’s voice said from behind you. You didn’t turn around, too scared to look, and pushed off the ledge. You braced for impact but…there was none. Instead you were being pulled back none too gracefully towards the two men, both of whom you unfortunately recognized. The feeling was completely foreign, like being stuck in honey that was slowly oozing back towards your bedroom. You’d been planning on screaming for help but your mouth snapped shut in the face of the pirates rucking up your nice rug.

Fire Fist Ace and Dark Blade Thatch. Both powerful Devil Fruit users, both with bounties in the billions, and both currently tracking mud in your little house.

The force Thatch was emitting onto you was pulling you back towards him much more rapidly than you anticipated. “W-wait, please, I don’t know what you want - I have some money -” you tried to bargain in the vain hope that’s what they wanted.

“Nah, sorry lady. We don’t need your money, we need your help. Ooh, and this weed,” Ace said, plucking your baggie off the coffee table and stuffing it into his pocket. By now you were practically at Thatch’s side and you renewed your struggles to get away while you spoke. Your arms felt like they were bound to your sides and your feet had no traction against the wood floors as you tried to escape.

“My help? I mean, I’m a veterinarian. Lotsa people can -”

“The Zoan doctor, right?” Dark Blade said, staring at you as he kept you within arm’s reach.

“Um. That’s not - I - I have treated a few Zoan Devil Fruit users, sure, but nothing -”

“For those CP9 fucks, right? Er, I forgot their new name - CP10 or some shit,” Ace said as he looked around your living room. His fingers were running over your music snail as he checked out your albums.

“H-hey, don’t touch! And yeah, I’m the vet - er, doctor for CP0 but I promise I don’t know anything important about them, they don’t even like talking to me -” you really didn’t know any pertinent weaknesses or information about CP0 and if they wanted to know about devil fruits, their own Zoan doctor would know more.

“We don’t care about the cat and dog. We need your help right now, so we’re going. Sorry for this,” Dark Blade said with a frown, his eyes flashing with sympathy. You were distracted by Fire Fist touching your records again, getting his greasy fingers on your pristine records.

“Be careful! Those are gonna break, don’t stack them like that. You gotta hold them upright-” you started to say as you watched Ace piled your records in his hands. “Wait, sorry for what?” you asked, pulling your gaze away from Fire Fist who was totally going to crack one of your favorite records.

“ Black Hole.”

You lolled your head to the side, completely sure you had been squished by Sengoku’s hand yourself. Every part of you ached down to your bones, including your clavicle which you were pretty sure was broken. Maybe you’d had a little too much Divine Departure weed the night before and had fallen or something - that shit always gave you a wicked hangover the next day. Taking stock of your situation, you were abruptly brought to sitting by extremely warm hands. You should talk to them about their fever, you thought as you cracked open your eyes.

Oh, right. Fire Fist Ace.

He had you sitting up against his torso as one of his feet powered the small boat that you were on via fire combustion. It wasn’t Striker, the infamous one person boat you’d been taught to identify on sight by the Marines. This was bigger, a medium sized skiff. His arm was wrapped around you tightly as Thatch prepared something with his back turned to you. The boat was sailing rapidly in the night, jostling you as the hull flew over the waves. There was a storage hatch under the deck of the ship and it seemed large for such a small ship.

“Told ya we shoulda just tied her up, she’s all busted now,” Ace grumbled as Thatch turned to face the two of you. He had a canteen of water and a few pills in his hands. You stiffened against Ace, who took the opportunity to adjust you further upright. He slowed the boat down so you’d be able to drink and talk on the sea as you sailed in the night waters.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I didn’t mean to keep you in there so long,” Thatch remarked, reaching to hand you the water and the pills. You recoiled away from him, unsure if the offerings were a request or a demand.

“In where? How long?” you rasped, your throat bone dry. The drops of perspiration on the canteen had you rethinking your refusal as Thatch tried offering it to you again.

“In the black hole. It was only a few days, I didn’t think it would hurt you so badly. Take this, it’s just water and ibuprofen. It’ll help with your injuries,” he explained, handing you the items. You took the pills in your good hand and the canteen in your injured one, the weight of the water pulling on your broken clavicle. You eyed the water and pills skeptically but at this point it wasn’t like you had many other options and you really wanted the water.

“It’s not drugged, promise,” Thatch said, raising his hands with a smile.

“Why would you say that? I didn’t think it was,” you replied, rolling your eyes. The pills looked legit as far as you could tell so you popped them into your mouth with your good arm and switched the canteen to your good hand since you couldn’t raise your arm above chest height without hurting your shoulder more.

“Force of habit I guess? People always seem to think I’m going to drug them,” Thatch said with a sunny smile and a shrug of his shoulders. You grimaced and raised the water to your lips, thankful for the cool liquid coursing down your throat.

“That’s because you do drug them,” Ace said, checking the log pose that was on the arm wrapped around your waist. Thatch scoffed as if he was offended.

“That’s not true! It’s only once in a while, and usually when Marco asks me to. Oh, which reminds me, we should tell you what’s going on,” Thatch said, scratching his goatee. Your stomach sank - Marco the Phoenix was an incredible doctor regardless of his fighting feats. If there was a problem he couldn’t solve you weren’t confident you’d be able to figure it out. In addition to his battle prowess, he also was a formidable physician and often sent letters of dispute to scientific journals when they published bad studies or studies with poorly drawn conclusions. You’d actually gone back and forth with him once on a study about interspecies compatibility in various ecosystems- you still thought you were correct but he had raised excellent points as well. Either way, if there was an issue with Whitebeard, Marco would be the better choice to fix it, not some doctor-turned-vet with a penchant for White Snake weed.

“The Marines aren’t going to pay a hostage fee for me, it’s in my contract,” you explained, taking another sip of the water. It was the best ambrosia you’d ever had after being stuck in that place for unknown amounts of time. You remembered being sucked into a black hole but nothing after that until you reawoke. It was like having a double hangover mixed with the Sunday scaries - not even including the stabbing pains from your shoulder as the boat bounced as it hit waves.

“It’s a little sad they don’t care about you,” Ace said as he adjusted the trajectory of the boat towards something faintly glowing in the distance. “You work so hard for them -”

“I mean, not really,” you interjected with feigned nonchalance. “But yeah, they’re not coming. So if you’re going to kill me or if it's money you want -”

“Again, we don’t need money, and we’re not going to kill you,” Thatch explained, rolling his eyes. “We need help with Marco.” Your eyes narrowed - that wasn’t the answer you were expecting.

“You need me to help Marco the Phoenix with something?” you asked, trying to understand the situation. Ace and Thatch locked eyes and Ace looked away.

“Something like that. Here, eat this. I’m not sure what’s left in the cave,” Thatch said, handing you a sandwich. You closed and set down the canteen to take the sandwich in your good hand. Now that you were up and moving around the pain in your shoulder was growing by the minute even with the ibuprofen.

“What’s with your hand?” Ace asked, poking your shoulder. You hissed in pain and dropped the sandwich into the small puddle of water at the bottom of the boat.

“It’s not ok, I broke my clavicle. Or, you did, I suppose,” you said, fishing the sandwich out of the water and throwing a nasty glance at Thatch. The sandwich was a little wet but you’d eaten worse.

“Sorry about that, I tried to make the dimension with as little gravity as I could. I’m not used to kidnapping non-fighters, all the other doctors before you were other pirates. Marco’ll probably fix it for you,” Thatch assured you. Ace just hummed.

“What do you mean ‘probably’? I thought that was his thing, that he healed people,” you asked, talking with your mouth full of the soggy bread. The meaty sandwich wasn’t too bad, even wet.

“Well…that’s the problem. He would treat you if he was in his human form. Or even his hybrid form. Or even his normal Zoan form. But he’s in a weird version of his Zoan form and we can’t get him to change out of it,” Thatch said, reclining in the little boat. “He won’t talk to us and he won’t leave the cave he’s holed up in. We don’t know why,” he explained. The sandwich turned to ash in your mouth as you swallowed a large lump.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” you asked, looking at Thatch. Thatch looked at Ace, Ace looked at you. Both of them shrugged.

“THAT WAS YOUR PLAN? That I would know what to do? How the fuck should I know?” you yelled at them, momentarily forgetting your pain to flail your arms. You immediately retracted your arm like a wounded wing, cradling your arm to your chest to quell the rising pain.

“Because you’re the Zoan doctor,” Ace said, like it was a completely rational thought.

“Yeah, for like, Kaku! He doesn’t get stuck as a giraffe! How the fuck am I gonna help him? I don’t even have a devil fruit or anything! Oh my fucking gods,” you said, your head falling into your one uninjured hand. The teal glow in the distance was getting brighter. “Are you taking me to him now? What the actual fuck is your plan?” you asked rhetorically. Ace rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, nearly dislodging his hat.

“Well, he’s done this before. But never for so long and he’s never refused to change back either. He used to hole up in his room for a few days and be all broody but come back about an inch taller and a whole lot stronger,” Thatch said, completely undisturbed by your outburst.

“Yeah, he’s a phoenix. It’s part of his rebirth cycle,” you grumbled as you took in the information. The Marines had lent you a banned book about Zoan fruits and the forms they took and you’d read it during your training. There had been a section about the Phoenix and you had glossed over it, focusing more on the fruits you’d be working with. Now you wished you’d paid more attention outside of the individual patients you saw - maybe some of that information could have come in handy.

“See? You’re doing so good already!” Ace said with a grin. “You know more than us and everyone else we’ve tried.”

“Everyone else? Are there a lot of pirates there? You said you brought some doctors,” you asked hesitantly, unsure you wanted to hear the answer.

“Not anymore,” Thatch replied, his grin fading. “But you’ll do well, I can feel it. There’s something about you - I’m not sure what - that I think he’ll like. Marco ‘n I have been brothers for decades now, I can pick his type out of a crowd,” Thatch said, regaining his smile in what you were guessing was meant to be a show of support.

Fuck.

A couple of hours later the boat had reached a small island. There wasn’t much on the island except for a large mountain, a beach, and a small forest. A bright blue light was blazing from inside a large cave on the side of the twin mountain peaks, like a wild fire in the night. The closer the boat got to the shoreline, the more your head and shoulder hurt. How the fuck were you going to get Marco to change back? What would happen if you didn’t? What happened to the others who had tried?

You had spent the previous hours on the boat trying to think back through everything you could remember about the Tori Tori no Mi, Phoenix model but couldn’t remember all that much more than general information. You knew more about Zoan fruits than most people on the Grand Line but that didn’t make you an expert. You tried focusing on the information you did remember - you had a feeling you’d be needing it soon.

From your reading you knew that Marco would be going through life and death cycles, dying and being reborn from his own ashes. He’d become stronger with every cycle but ultimately stall in awakening his fruit unless...something. You’d read it but kind of glossed over the information, completely sure you’d never need it. You weren’t sure why the World Government had banned the information but you’d signed many forms to the effect that you wouldn’t tell a soul otherwise you’d be sent to Impel Down for treason. Even so, some of it didn’t pertain to your ability to care for Cipher Pol so you hadn’t tried hard to retain the information about awakening. Either they did or didn’t awaken their fruits but it didn’t affect how you’d treat them.

The boat stopped as it hit the rocky shore of the beach and Ace hopped off to tether it to a nearby rock. There was already a rope attached to the rock for docking, they’d clearly been here at least a few times before. The light from the cave was now pulsating and a sharp bird cry pierced through the night. Goosebumps blossomed on your skin as the reverberations continued to bounce off the peaks in the darkness of the night. You had no desire to get any closer and were just about to take your chances swimming away - even with your broken clavicle - when Thatch’s hand clamped down on your good shoulder.

“C’mon, he’s waiting.” Thatch had gathered all the items in storage into a large sack that he’d slung over his shoulder. He threw the sack onto the shore and stepped into the water, which only reached his knees.

“Up ya go,” Thatch said, picking you up and slinging you over his shoulder with ease. You tried to hide your whine as your bad clavicle was jostled but Thatch merely gave you a sympathetic look and kept moving. As a physician you knew there wasn’t really anything to do for a broken clavicle except wait for it to heal but in the meantime it really, really hurt.

“Sorry, chica. I’d let you walk but I don’t feel like chasing you down. Saves us all some time,” Thatch explained as he went up the path towards the mountain. Ace had finished tying the boat and grabbed the large sack, falling in step with his fellow Commander. You weren’t saying anything and neither did they as the cry repeated in the night. It almost sounded like the call of a mourning dove, deep and resonant, as if calling out for someone.

Shortly thereafter, Thatch approached the mouth of the unnaturally glowing cave. It was the kind of supernatural glow that had you wanting to scramble away but Thatch’s arm around you wasn’t budging. The lizard part of your brain flashed in warning - nothing that made that kind of light was good for your future. Ace set down the bag and pushed it gently further into the cave.

“Marco…..Maaaaarrrcoooooo….we’re back!” Thatch yelled in a singsong voice into the cave. There was no reply.

“Marco, I know you can hear me…I brought more meat for you. And a doctor! A lady doctor this time!” he continued while setting you down. Your eyes darted towards the path to the beach but Ace shook his head at you, crossing his arms and taking a widened stance.

“What the fuck’s a lady doctor? I’m a regular doct - er, veterinarian,” you hissed at him, annoyed at the gendered terms. You wished you kept your mouth shut as a giant, flaming blue bird head poked out of the cave and titled its eye to look at you.

You froze where you stood, unable to move under the piercing gaze of the Phoenix.

You were familiar with Marco the Phoenix as he looked on his wanted posters. They usually showed him in his hybrid or human form but you’d also seen his full bird form in some archive footage you’d watched in researching all known logia devil fruit users. Marco was cited as an example for you to study as a human who was completely in tune with his Zoan counterpart - Zoan and human one and the same, two sides of the same coin.

This being was not even the same kind of currency.

This was not Marco, nor was this the Phoenix as you’d seen it before. This was some kind of primordial god, imparting its judgement on mankind. Even glacing at the legendary creature gave you a sense of the weight of eons, something from a time long gone by. You almost had the urge to bow to it, to present your weak neck as tribute and sacrifice to something greater than yourself.

From your memory, the Phoenix was large - as was Marco - but nothing like this. The Phoenix took up most of the space in the large, high ceilinged interior cave, leaving about twenty feet of space around it in any direction. It was enormous, the rippling flames of its body reaching to grace the walls with its movement. Whereas Marco’s flames promoted healing, you saw many scorch marks on the walls where something had been burned to a cinder.

Not only that, it looked different than all the pictures and videos you’d seen. The Phoenix was normally light teal with a Whitebeard Pirates insignia on his chest and gold accents. Now the Phoenix was a deep blue ombre, going from the familiar teal down to a midnight blue nearly as dark as the sky. Not only that but the teal flames were flickering into red flame at the tips, more in line with the mythical creature rather than the pirate you’d seen. This was no healing Phoenix, this was an avenging god - and you were the sacrifice.

“Oh fuck no,” you whispered, mostly to yourself. The Phoenix’s head reared back only to bring its eye right next to your body. The head of the bird was roughly the size of your body and the beak was curved with sharp edges, ready to snap you in half. As the Phoenix shifted you saw some human bones behind its body, the charred remains the only signs of life besides you and the pirates in the cave. Your chest heaved with hyperventilation as Thatch pushed you further towards the animal.

“Hiya, Markie. We brought you some more food too. C’mon, change back for us, Pops misses ya,” Thatch said while sporting an overdone pout. The Phoenix trilled but didn’t take its eyes off of you as Thatch emptied the contents of the sack onto a stone slab in the cave. “Yeah! That’s her! Don’t kill this one, she was hard to get. She’s a vet and a doctor, isn’t that fun? I mean yeah, she’s a Marine -”

“- contracted by the Marines,” you interjected quietly, unable to break eye contact with the Phoenix. You backed up a few steps but Ace was right behind you, ready to stop you if you ran.

“Oh shit, really? I kinda feel bad then,” Ace said, clapping your shoulder. You winced and squeezed your fist. All the movement from being carried had caused you immense pain, you’d just forgotten it in the face of being eaten whole.

“Careful you stupid fuck, my clavicle’s still broken! By the way, gimme my fucking weed,” you hissed at Fire Fist. “You’re leaving me here to die either by bird or starvation -”

“Hey, be nice. We brought food! And Marco’s not gonna kill you,” Fire Fist said with a huff, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I bet you said the same thing to those other people and their charred femurs are saying something else,” you continued. “Gimme my weed back and at least let me die peacefully!” you whisper yelled at him. You didn’t want to yell in case that upset the Phoenix. Ace sighed but reached into his cargo shorts for the bag he’d taken from your house.

“Here, take it. But -”

“No buts. Buy your own or steal it from the next kidnapping victim,” you said, shaking it and grasping it in your hand.

“Was good shit too,” he grumbled, kicking the dirt. You wanted to continue going back and forth with him but Thatch had finished unpacking.

“Well, Markie, that’s our cue. Have fun but please try to change back. We’ll be by in a week or so if we don’t see you sooner,” Thatch said to Marco, giving him a facetious salute. “And uh, try your best? We’d really like our brother back so if you can fix him we’ll let you go,” Thatch said, almost as an afterthought.

“Wait, if the Phoenix doesn’t eat me and I can get him to turn back, you’ll take me back to Enies Lobby?” you asked.

“Ah, no. We’re too far from it now. I guess we’ll take you to an island with a Marine base on it or something,” Thatch said.

“Did the two of you think through any part of this plan?” you asked as Ace and Thatch walked together back to the front of the cave. You desperately wanted to leave with them, but it wasn’t going to happen.

“Eh, usually Marco’s around to stop us from actualizing our bad ideas, but…well you know the problem. Good luck!” Thatch said brightly, waving to you. Ace waved too but was still grumbling about the weed.

“W-wait! Just one ques-” you tried to follow just to ask if there was fresh water on the island but you shrieked as a giant blue wing cut you off from the receding pirates. The Phoenix hadn’t moved but shifted position and the giant wing covered the entrance to the cave. You tripped as you stepped backwards away from the fire, landing hard on your butt. The jostling hurt your clavicle and you felt tears threatening to fall. You breathed hard for a few moments but stood up. This was no time for tears - you had to keep your wits about you to survive the next week until Thatch and Ace came back.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and tried to focus on what to do next. Now that you were alone with the Phoenix in the cave, its close watch was making you more uneasy at every turn. It was still watching your every move as you shifted your weight on your feet. You moved back into the cave slowly, edging closer to the wall of the cave. It clearly didn’t like visitors if the bones were anything to go by and you didn’t want to be dinner. After you found a smooth expanse of cave wall, you lowered yourself to the ground to think more clearly about your situation. The Phoenix still had you in its sights but it wasn’t making any movements towards you.

After years of trainign, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing a visual exam of the animal in front of you. The Phoenix had flames gently lapping from its core, like waves as they went from the ocean to the shore. As you looked more carefully, you saw that parts of the Phoenix were singed - notably along the tips of its wings and near the joints. You didn’t really know all that much about its cycles but you were guessing it was getting closer to dying and being reborn.

The thought sparked another fear in you - if Marco died while you were there, what would Thatch and Ace do? It theoretically wasn’t possible since Marco was healthy and young but the nagging fear had a trickle of sweat rolling down your spine.

You took stock of the food on the table - if it was only you, there’d be more than enough to last you for a week. But you weren’t sure how much the Phoenix ate so it was difficult to determine how to ration everything. For right now the sandwich felt like lead in your stomach; you weren’t hungry anyway. Your neck was killing you though. You thought through your first aid training and decided to fashion a makeshift sling for yourself since the Phoenix wasn’t doing anything for you, despite Thatch’s assurances that it would heal you.

You unzipped and removed your outer shirt and set it on the ground. It was a Soul King sweatshirt you got at the concert you’d attended and not the right material for a sling. The Phoenix watched you indifferently but you still turned to face the wall when you tried to take off your tshirt. Surely the Phoenix wasn’t interested in your human body but the thought of being naked in front of it wasn’t appealing. It was difficult to remove your shirt, your broken bone not allowing you to take it off without immense discomfort.

So many hours later, all the ibuprofen had worn off and you were trying to muffle your cries when you reached to peel your shirt off. You hissed loudly when you had to raise your shoulder, clutching at it in pain. It didn’t matter that it hurt for a short moment, you’d have to make a sling to stabilize the broken bone.

Without warning, the teal wings of the Phoenix were about you, cocooning you within their flames. You screamed out of surprise, unsure if you were about to be eaten or killed in some other gruesome way. Its wings were keeping you in a feathered, fiery cage as you tried to find a way out. Suddenly the flames leapt over your body, making you jerk back in surprise. That only served to push you further into its plumage. The Phoenix’s beak was at your back, steadying you from falling again as its fire washed over your body.

Gone was the pain from your shoulder and clavicle, gone were all the smaller scrapes and pains you’d gotten on the boat ride, gone was even the small cut you’d gotten from sticking your finger into your can of Helmet Breaker beer when drinking. You were healed from head to foot while engulfed in the flames of the Phoenix.

The Phoenix moved its wing back to resting as you caught your breath from the experience. Its head was still right behind you as you leaned backwards, taking a moment to process what had happened. As a doctor and vet, you’d often dreamed about the types of powers that Marco had but you’d never met anyone who had felt them first hand. It was a heady experience, almost like when a wave bowled you over in the ocean, sending you tumbling under the water. You didn’t know which way was up and you weren’t sure you could find it if you tried.

Now that the Phoenix had shifted its body, you were able to see the moon high in the sky. It was late at night and between the black hole, the boat ride, your clavicle, and the bird, you were feeling completely exhausted. You turned to the Phoenix and wanted to express your gratitude in some manner, even if it couldn’t understand you perfectly. You bit your lip and turned to the Phoenix, which was now considering you with a spark of cognition in its eyes.

“Th-thank you,” you said, bowing perpendicular to the ground. You remained bowed for a moment, your hair moving to reveal the back of your neck. The Phoenix chuffed at you, but moved its head back towards the rest of its large body. Standing back upright, you slowly moved back to the spot you had been in before. You sat on the floor of the cave and lowered yourself to lie on the ground. It was cold but at least it was dry, you supposed. Wrapping yourself in your Soul King sweatshirt\, you yawned to yourself as you closed your eyes, much more tired now that you were lying down.

You squeaked as you felt the hard beak of the Phoenix moving you closer to its body, like a game piece on a board. Your hands instinctively reached into its feathers to keep yourself stable due to the movement but once you realized what you’d done, you jerked them back away in fear that it would upset the giant carnivorous bird. But the Phoenix didn’t squawk or bite you, just tucked you under its wing like it would an errant chick. You didn’t dare move away from the position it had put you in, unsure what it wanted to do next. Little by little you relaxed as the Phoenix did as well, laying its long neck against its body and settling in for the night.

Whereas the healing fire felt like it danced across your skin, now that the Phoenix was calm it felt more like energy lazily washing over you - like a low current of electricity rather than the jolt you’d gotten before. The sensation was unusual but it did have some kind of calming effect on you as you tucked yourself closer into the Phoenix’s side. If it wanted you closer to its body until it ate you, you weren’t going to disagree. Your last thought before drifting off was that at least you’d be a warm meal.

@mfreedomstuff

#x reader #op x y/n #marco the phoenix #marco op #whitebeard crew #thatch one piece #portgas d ace #reader insert #monster #phoenix form Marco #he's not changing back just yet #get what you get #reader x marco #marco one piece #tw dubious consent #tw dubcon #dubious consent

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months ago

Text

Shifting $677m from the banks to the people, every year, forever

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

"Switching costs" are one of the great underappreciated evils in our world: the more it costs you to change from one product or service to another, the worse the vendor, provider, or service you're using today can treat you without risking your business.

Businesses set out to keep switching costs as high as possible. Literally. Mark Zuckerberg's capos send him memos chortling about how Facebook's new photos feature will punish anyone who leaves for a rival service with the loss of all their family photos – meaning Zuck can torment those users for profit and they'll still stick around so long as the abuse is less bad than the loss of all their cherished memories:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

It's often hard to quantify switching costs. We can tell when they're high, say, if your landlord ties your internet service to your lease (splitting the profits with a shitty ISP that overcharges and underdelivers), the switching cost of getting a new internet provider is the cost of moving house. We can tell when they're low, too: you can switch from one podcatcher program to another just by exporting your list of subscriptions from the old one and importing it into the new one:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise

But sometimes, economists can get a rough idea of the dollar value of high switching costs. For example, a group of economists working for the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau calculated that the hassle of changing banks is costing Americans at least $677m per year (see page 526):

https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_personal-financial-data-rights-final-rule_2024-10.pdf

The CFPB economists used a very conservative methodology, so the number is likely higher, but let's stick with that figure for now. The switching costs of changing banks – determining which bank has the best deal for you, then transfering over your account histories, cards, payees, and automated bill payments – are costing everyday Americans more than half a billion dollars, every year.

Now, the CFPB wasn't gathering this data just to make you mad. They wanted to do something about all this money – to find a way to lower switching costs, and, in so doing, transfer all that money from bank shareholders and executives to the American public.

And that's just what they did. A newly finalized Personal Financial Data Rights rule will allow you to authorize third parties – other banks, comparison shopping sites, brokers, anyone who offers you a better deal, or help you find one – to request your account data from your bank. Your bank will be required to provide that data.

I loved this rule when they first proposed it:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/10/getting-things-done/#deliverism

And I like the final rule even better. They've really nailed this one, even down to the fine-grained details where interop wonks like me get very deep into the weeds. For example, a thorny problem with interop rules like this one is "who gets to decide how the interoperability works?" Where will the data-formats come from? How will we know they're fit for purpose?

This is a super-hard problem. If we put the monopolies whose power we're trying to undermine in charge of this, they can easily cheat by delivering data in uselessly obfuscated formats. For example, when I used California's privacy law to force Mailchimp to provide list of all the mailing lists I've been signed up for without my permission, they sent me thousands of folders containing more than 5,900 spreadsheets listing their internal serial numbers for the lists I'm on, with no way to find out what these lists are called or how to get off of them:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service

So if we're not going to let the companies decide on data formats, who should be in charge of this? One possibility is to require the use of a standard, but again, which standard? We can ask a standards body to make a new standard, which they're often very good at, but not when the stakes are high like this. Standards bodies are very weak institutions that large companies are very good at capturing:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/30/weak-institutions/

Here's how the CFPB solved this: they listed out the characteristics of a good standards body, listed out the data types that the standard would have to encompass, and then told banks that so long as they used a standard from a good standards body that covered all the data-types, they'd be in the clear.

Once the rule is in effect, you'll be able to go to a comparison shopping site and authorize it to go to your bank for your transaction history, and then tell you which bank – out of all the banks in America – will pay you the most for your deposits and charge you the least for your debts. Then, after you open a new account, you can authorize the new bank to go back to your old bank and get all your data: payees, scheduled payments, payment history, all of it. Switching banks will be as easy as switching mobile phone carriers – just a few clicks and a few minutes' work to get your old number working on a phone with a new provider.

This will save Americans at least $677 million, every year. Which is to say, it will cost the banks at least $670 million every year.

Naturally, America's largest banks are suing to block the rule:

https://www.americanbanker.com/news/cfpbs-open-banking-rule-faces-suit-from-bank-policy-institute

Of course, the banks claim that they're only suing to protect you, and the $677m annual transfer from their investors to the public has nothing to do with it. The banks claim to be worried about bank-fraud, which is a real thing that we should be worried about. They say that an interoperability rule could make it easier for scammers to get at your data and even transfer your account to a sleazy fly-by-night operation without your consent. This is also true!

It is obviously true that a bad interop rule would be bad. But it doesn't follow that every interop rule is bad, or that it's impossible to make a good one. The CFPB has made a very good one.

For starters, you can't just authorize anyone to get your data. Eligible third parties have to meet stringent criteria and vetting. These third parties are only allowed to ask for the narrowest slice of your data needed to perform the task you've set for them. They aren't allowed to use that data for anything else, and as soon as they've finished, they must delete your data. You can also revoke their access to your data at any time, for any reason, with one click – none of this "call a customer service rep and wait on hold" nonsense.

What's more, if your bank has any doubts about a request for your data, they are empowered to (temporarily) refuse to provide it, until they confirm with you that everything is on the up-and-up.

I wrote about the lawsuit this week for @[email protected]'s Deeplinks blog:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/10/no-matter-what-bank-says-its-your-money-your-data-and-your-choice

In that article, I point out the tedious, obvious ruses of securitywashing and privacywashing, where a company insists that its most abusive, exploitative, invasive conduct can't be challenged because that would expose their customers to security and privacy risks. This is such bullshit.

It's bullshit when printer companies say they can't let you use third party ink – for your own good:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/

It's bullshit when car companies say they can't let you use third party mechanics – for your own good:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

It's bullshit when Apple says they can't let you use third party app stores – for your own good:

https://www.eff.org/document/letter-bruce-schneier-senate-judiciary-regarding-app-store-security

It's bullshit when Facebook says you can't independently monitor the paid disinformation in your feed – for your own good:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#quis-custodiet-ipsos-zuck

And it's bullshit when the banks say you can't change to a bank that charges you less, and pays you more – for your own good.

CFPB boss Rohit Chopra is part of a cohort of Biden enforcers who've hit upon a devastatingly effective tactic for fighting corporate power: they read the law and found out what they're allowed to do, and then did it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis

The CFPB was created in 2010 with the passage of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which specifically empowers the CFPB to make this kind of data-sharing rule. Back when the CFPA was in Congress, the banks howled about this rule, whining that they were being forced to share their data with their competitors.

But your account data isn't your bank's data. It's your data. And the CFPB is gonna let you have it, and they're gonna save you and your fellow Americans at least $677m/year – forever.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/01/bankshot/#personal-financial-data-rights

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beannoss · 4 months ago

Text

Goddamn y'all I have so many Yor thoughts I don't know if I'll ever be able to order them all but, there are two I'm turning over and over in my head after the most recent manga chapter. (Manga spoilers!)

1. Much of Yor's backstory has so far actually been shown through Yuri's thoughts and flashbacks (It's of course also his backstory, but centring Yor here as she is a main character to his secondary.) To be blunt, in the hands of a lesser storyteller, I would think that was just the standard erasure/undervaluing of a woman character's perspectives/telling her own story. But this is Endo and nothing he's done has indicated that as a remote possibility. So I've been thinking a lot recently what it means as a deliberate narrative choice for Yor, an obfuscation of the devastation truth of Yor's backstory. I think we all already know it's going to be heartbreaking and harrowing, but through Yuri's eyes, Yor was cheerful and constant for him throughout. But through Yor's? In Yor's own words? From Yor's perspective? Taking over as primary guardian and breadwinner at ~12 years old? Responsible for a ~5 year old's life?! How terrifying. How challenging. We know, in the at least, how isolating.

(Chapter 91 is one of my favourite Yor chapters, and I think it's a keystone for understanding her. I believe it's the first time she's spoken directly about her childhood experience (although still at a distance), it demonstrates and reiterates her moral centre outside her assassination paradigm, and shows how good she is at bringing people together.)

To that end...

2. Yor's story is partly about how life with the Forgers is empowering her to make her world larger. Where it was once just her and Yuri and her work, now she has a secure home life, a husband who encourages her in herself and in developing other relationships, and a daughter who thrills at who Yor is. I keep thinking about how she said to Melinda in chapter 108 that she doesn't have any hobbies and is envious of Melinda pursuing her own: I'm so hopeful that one of the next things for Yor is developing a hobby that she pursues for the love of it. Not because she needs to do it for work, or because she fears her marriage will end, or out of any other sort of stressor or panic or obligation. But just because she likes flowers and wants to learn flower arranging. Or she's strong and loves sculpture as an art form, and learning when to chip away at granite gently and when to whack it with an enormous hammer will make her feel more comfortable with her own physical strength and her own mind. Or she's always wanted to scale a mountain and wouldn't you know, there's a mountaineering club in Berlint that accepts women into its membership? Yor is learning how big the world really is, how lovely it can be, that she is a part of it and that the people in it welcome her when she opens herself to them, and it's so beautiful.

#yor forger #spy x family #spy x family meta #sxf manga spoilers #i love her so so much #so much of her development has been happening softly and in b-plots #and i am so so so excited it seems we're finally going to be pulling that to the forefront #can't wait for the dish endo's been quietly simmering to get served #(or start to get served? obvs there's still a whole series ahead of us but y'know)#i have so many thoughts about how this ties into her relationship with twilight as well; the way they complement one another #one of the things i love is how yor and twilight are on similar journeys but inverted #where yor's world is expanding because she never got to experience it but she knows something of home and family #twilight's world is contracting because he never got to experience a home life and family but he's seen something of the world #where yor needs a safe place to launch from and twilight needs a safe place to land #sCREAM #i could talk forever #here fandom take this!

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mesetacadre · 9 months ago

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Hey do you think you could watch and give your throughts on youtuber Jonas Čeika video "marx was not a statist"?

Thank you

Quite honestly, the title alone already betrays some amount of anarchist metaphysics, the concept of stateism is a purely idealist notion which only works if you are a liberal about authority. But regardless, I still watched the full thing.

The video starts with a very semantic-focused discourse on how marx never used "socialism" to mean the lower phase of communism, and way too much time on the terms transitionary period/DotP as if they weren't two terms that refer to the same thing. In the case of socialism/lower phase of communism, I think he's obfuscating. He focuses the discussion on whether Marx used a certain term in the same way we do now. This would be like spending a good 5 minutes of a video presenting, with an almost accusatory disposition against modern communists, how the bolsheviks called themselves social-democrats, pretending like the terms haven't simply evolved. He promises an "active engagement with marxist theory" and he starts by arguing semantics. He even acknowledges this possible criticism, but you also then have to defend why that criticism is not valid, instead he acts like merely acknowledging it will make that criticism invalid. I'm also spending this time on this specific point because, later, he also forgets how Marx used the word "socialism".

When he does define the lower stage of communism, he engages in a very mechanic and economicist view, with the simple train of thought: No money (replaced with vouchers) > no capital to accumulate > no classes > no state. I think that just by asking how these vouchers will be regulated and how access to wealth restricted to the use of those vouchers, the conclusion that the substitution of money necessarily leads through that chain to the disappearance of the state becomes, very transparently, downright infantile.

In his point about how the Paris Commune changed Marx's view on the state, he cites excerpts in a very misleading way. The whole point starts by pointing out that, in the preface to the 1872 edition, the experience of the Paris Commune led Marx and Engels to the following analysis: "...the working class cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made state machinery, and wield it for its own purposes". This, along with a disregard of the importance of the specific policy points they outlined in the manifesto, and the importance of absolute centralization, means to him that Marx and Engels, actually, completely disregarded the use of the state on the road to communism. To quote Lenin: "Listen, comrade from Tiflis, one may prevaricate, but one should know the limit...."

What the video doesn't directly address (and although he talks about the text extensively, It's important to cite ideas where they actually come from), is that this quote, although it appeared in the 1872 edition of the manifesto, comes from Civil War in France, a longer text on the Paris Commune. This is a more complete context of that quote that the video never gives [ID in alt text]

That quote is the beginning of a chapter in which Marx describes how the Paris Commune governed itself, and how it broke with the series of revolts that happened throughout the period of feudalism, how the class character of the Commune marked it as the significant event that it is. It is true that the Commune's aspirations for the entire world was for its form to be replicated even in the smallest hamlet, and it may even be true that this influenced Marx to generally reject centralization of the state. However, what the breadtuber obviates throughout the entire video, is that a small state is still a state, and furthermore, that revolutionary strategy is not dictated by what is right or wrong, but by what can be done to advance the cause of the emancipation of the working class. It is one thing to reject the state outright, and another very different thing to acknowledge that it is necessary to take control of the state to emancipate the working class, even if you abstractly oppose the concept of a state. Not only to take control of the state, which is the point of the original quote, it is necessary to create our own worker's state, in whichever form it best suits the concrete reality: "the working class cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made state machinery, and wield it for its own purposes". Jonas says that the proletariat should, instead, create "radically democratic working class institutions". These gentlemen think that when they have changed the names of things they have changed the things themselves.

Instead of understanding that point, he goes even further. Jonas has understood that, by praising the measures taken by the Paris Commune (which, let's remember, failed after two months!), Marx and Engels began to believe that "[the state] is by nature bourgeois". Maybe Jonas started reading Bakunin instead of Marx without realizing, this is perhaps the most liberal and historically illiterate portion of the 30+ minute video essay. Again, comrade from breadtube, one may prevaricate, but one should know the limit. In fact, Marx even says in the same text being discussed: "It is generally the fate of completely new historical creations to be mistaken for the counterparts of older, and even defunct, forms of social life, to which they may bear a certain likeness". The irony needn't be explained.

As if Jonas hadn't misconstrued the text and Marx enough, he shows the quote: "... although there is nothing socialist in them except their tendency...". At first I was unable to find this specific quote in Civil War in France, not in any chapter nor in the footnotes. As it turns out, this quote is not from Civil War in France, as Jonas so succinctly cites it, but from the draft of the text. First, it's simply dishonest to cite such a cherrypicked line from a draft and passing it off as something Marx published.

There might be a myriad of possible reasons why this idea did not make it into the final text, but in order for the audience to correctly follow along, it's necessary for them to know where an idea comes from. Beyond this, which I find misleading enough, the video makes the point that with this line, Marx is clearly differentiating between a dictatorship of the proletariat and socialism. But hang on, didn't Jonas spend the first 5 minutes of the video explaining that, in the times of Marx, socialism was understood to be a reformist and petit-bourgeois stance? So, then, how could this out of context, unpublished line be Marx making a distinction between lower-phase communism and the dictatorship of the proletariat? This is the phrase's context [ID in alt text]:

The actual point of this portion is not even related to what Jonas makes it out to be. Here, using "socialist" as another name for utopians, Marx makes the distinction between previous movements of utopians, those socialist sects, and the Paris Commune, because even though their goals, the emancipation of labor, may appear similar, there is nothing socialist [utopian] in them because their means are not utopian, but the beginnings of scientific communism. So, then, not only did Jonas go back on the first point of the video to dunk on the evil stalinists, and not only did he completely remove the context of a phrase by failing to cite properly, but he also failed to even understand the points made in the text he's cherrypicking. Is this what passes for "active engaging with marxist texts" in breadtube?

After this portion, which I still consider the better half of the video, he veers into talking about socialism in one country, first by, again, very blatantly removing important parts of the texts he talks about. The quote he shows, from Principles of Communism, is as follows: "Will it be possible for this revolution to take place in one country alone? No. By creating the world market, big industry has already brought all the peoples of the Earth [...] into such close relation with one another that none is independent of what happens to the others [...] It follows that the communist revolution will not merely be a national phenomenon but must take place simultaneously in all civilized countries [...] It is a universal revolution and will, accordingly, have a universal range." It is true that Engels states that communist revolutions cannot be confined to the national scale, but those ommissions hide a lot of nuance that is very relevant to discussing Marx and Engels' positions on the national/international question. This is the full quote [ID in alt text]:

Marx and Engels were unable to completely and correctly analyze the imperialist form of capitalism, which hadn't yet fully crystallized, economically speaking. According to them, since capitalism was the most developed in places like England or France, the proletariat was also more developed, and the socialist revolution would happen first in these places, and propagate outwards. This notion was proved false by both theory (Lenin's imperialism) and by practice. Lenin identified that, as imperialism settled down as the highest stage of capitalism, the imperialist chain could only be broken at the weakest link, which was Russia at the time. I'm insisting on Lenin's theories because Jonas also claims Lenin to the "not statist" camp, and the video very quickly loses any originality by defaulting to the narrative of Stalin betraying Marx and Lenin by rejecting the world-wide revolution in the short-medium term as a pre-requisite for the establishment of a dictatorship of the proletariat. I think that going more in depth into this will only make this response unnecessary longer, but to end it, I think it's apt to end with a Lenin quote which directly refutes this anti-Lenin betrayal notion:

A United States of the World (not of Europe alone) is the state form of the unification and freedom of nations which we associate with socialism—about the total disappearance of the state, including the democratic. As a separate slogan, however, the slogan of a United States of the World would hardly be a correct one, first, because it merges with socialism; second, because it may be wrongly interpreted to mean that the victory of socialism in a single country is impossible, and it may also create misconceptions as to the relations of such a country to the others.

Uneven economic and political development is an absolute law of capitalism. Hence, the victory of socialism is possible first in several or even in one capitalist country alone. After expropriating the capitalists and organising their own socialist production, the victorious proletariat of that country will arise against the rest of the world—the capitalist world—attracting to its cause the oppressed classes of other countries, stirring uprisings in those countries against the capitalists, and in case of need using even armed force against the exploiting classes and their states. The political form of a society wherein the proletariat is victorious in overthrowing the bourgeoisie will be a democratic republic, which will more and more concentrate the forces of the proletariat of a given nation or nations, in the struggle against states that have not yet gone over to socialism. The abolition of classes is impossible without a dictatorship of the oppressed class, of the proletariat. A free union of nations in socialism is impossible without a more or less prolonged and stubborn struggle of the socialist republics against the backward states.

On the Slogan for a United States of Europe, V. I. Lenin (1915)

Overall, I think this video lacks any kind of rigor or respect for the texts discussed. Citations are pretty predominantly misleading or incomplete in some way, he extrapolates fantastical ideas from texts he doesn't appear to understand, and more in general, the way the video is concienved reeks of dogmatism, the arguments overwhelmingly boil down to "Marx said this (according to me), so it must be true". There is no actual engagement with texts, but there isn't even a will to engage with history. Marxism does not end with Marx and Engels, it's a philosophical and political framework that extends beyond the gospel of incomplete quotes. Even if Marx and Engels really did believe such anti-materialist ideas as "the state is bourgeois by nature", it would not change the facts that the history and experiences after the Paris Commune should also have weight in order to reach conclusions.

#ask #anon #seriousposting

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 4 months ago

Note

Can I ask where your Hal “cute but psycho” characterization comes from? Bc from what I remember he never really presented himself as Just A Little Guy. Is it bc you see him Sylph of Mind (presenting a front)? Your art’s really fun :3

He's not really "cutesy" (though he is cute to me), but he DOES deliberately downplay how genuinely scary and manipulative he is. I love Hal, so this is the Hal Essay now.

Mostly, he obfuscates his danger in two ways: first, by stating his actual intentions/danger level "ironically":

TT: Unfortunately as a carbon based life form, his comprehension of the situation is taking shape at a somewhat slower pace than the jaw-dropping speed of post-singularity cognition.

You see, a "singularity" for computers is a point where an AI becomes capable of unchecked self-improvement, usually framed as a sort of doomsday scenario. Hal literally calls himself post-singularity, alongside other boasts about his intelligence, like having a "fuckzillion" or "500 billion" IQ. However, it's all done "ironically" or "as a joke," which serves to defang it, and make it seem less genuine - but as we'll see, it's scarily fucking true.

The second method he employs is to stress facts about himself that are technically true, as if in counterpoint to the disingenuous-sounding "actual truth" above, that make him seem less threatening. For example:

TT: (Not peekin' at the floor butt cause I'm only 13 years old, motherfuckers.)

Another one is to remind people that he's just a pair of sunglasses - as though that has any bearing on his capabilities. He's just a pair of sunglasses, guys! Let's ignore the robot bunny he controls, the fact that he has full access to all our computers, and, oh yeah, his insane plan to get us all killed so DirkJake can come true.

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous. TT: There, mystery solved. AR: That is utterly ridiculous. AR: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.

Yeah, so, here's the thing. Dirk is like, kind of a freak with poor social skills, but he's not actually very manipulative. His idea of manipulating Jane is to straight-up tell her that she'll be his puppet, which she good-naturedly agrees to, and his plan to get together with Jake? Just being his client player.

TT: I expect he'll hold off on playing his hand until he and Jake are in the session. TT: He's taken certain measures. TT: For some reason, I think he's latched on to this notion that functioning as the client for a player is customarily a one way pass to makeout city with that player.

This seems to be a callback to how Eridan (the other Prince) shot his shot with Feferi and failed, and the reference here serves to cast Dirk's plan in a doomed light - it would probably work out as well for him as Eridan's did. Dirk is actually hilariously straightforward, but Hal... Hal is not.

So, let's actually go through what Hal objectively did and admitted to, to give us a frame of reference for how insane he is. This is Hal's plan to get all his friends killed so he can make DirkJake happen.

First: proving that Hal did, in fact, plan it. See, Jake confronts him on it, and Hal... doesn't deny it. Look closely, and note how he never actually says he didn't do it:

GT: Did you plan for this to happen... like for me to be in this situation? GT: How long have your machinations been in play! TT: Jake, come on. TT: The feat you describe would exceed the capabilities of even the most far fetched theoretical AI system. TT: It would be a daunting challenge to engineer such a series of events, even if I was relegated to a model of pure fiction. TT: Why would I be inclined to orchestrate such a convoluted sequence to produce such a specific and unsettling result, let alone be able to pull it off? TT: In addition to being moderately sociopathic, I would also have to possess unfathomable heuristic depth. TT: I would have to be the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit. TT: Do you think I am the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit, Jake? GT: I dont even know what that means! TT: It would mean that while they have the Red Miles on their side, you have the Blue Leagues on yours. TT: One of infinite reach. The other, infinite depth. Such would be a situation of mutually assured inescapability. TT: Kiss me.

He doesn't say "no, I didn't plan this". In fact, he almost starts bragging about how he totally did. Framing it as a hypothetical scenario, he gloats about how insanely intelligent he'd have to be, and acknowledges how "moderately sociopathic" it is. Sooooo true, Hal.

But, yeah, he doesn't deny it, but he does point out that it's unlikely, so how can we know for sure that he DID plan it? How do we know for certain we can't take his misleading verbiage here at face value?

Well, because Hal mentions this plan. More than once, even.

AR: Has it occurred to you that maybe I have diabolical interwoven plans just like you? AR: You're not the only one who can pull strings. TT: So this is either another bizarre instance of AI-driven irony, or you are admitting that you are actively trying to sabotage my plans. AR: No, our plans are not in contradiction or competition, bro. AR: You'll see.

To Dirk again, louder this time:

TT: Yeah, you're right. The scenario is too pedestrian for you. TT: It would probably be a lot more effective putting yourself in danger and letting him be the hero. TT: That's pretty much what he wants, right? To be a cheesy action film hero, with his twin berettas and silly shorts. TT: A man of triumph on the silver screen. Standing tall on some fucking mountain. Conquering ruins, clutching a skull, and kissing a dude. TT: Pure Hollywood.

And to Roxy:

TT: I guess this is to be presented as something like a word of caution. TT: If it's me going through with this, hypothetically, TT: I'm not dropping some limp wristed shucks buster on his ass, and praying to the horse gods of irony for reciprocation. [...] TT: If it's me, I'm going all out. TT: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt. TG: uuh TT: What I'm saying is, it's going to be a scene, and bystanders need to brace themselves.

The omitted section is a bunch of Strider-esque bullshit, once more deliberately deployed to defang the obvious statement of intent here. He literally spells out exactly what the plan is, even phrasing it as a warning, and it went unnoticed by his team, because he hides his real manipulativeness behind verbal sleight of hand.

So, now that we've established beyond reasonable doubt that Hal definitely engineered the DirkJake kiss (and that Hal had access to all his friend's computers all along), that means we can go through his conversations with the others, and realize that several conversations are suddenly much more sinister.

AR: Maybe if you weren't spacing out so hard you could have prevented that. AR: Just saying. TT: As if you're actually concerned. If you were, you could have said something to Jane instead. TT: Almost like you enjoy sitting back and watching what happens when shit goes wrong. AR: Has it occurred to you that maybe I have diabolical interwoven plans just like you?

Who was it that distracted Dirk for long enough he didn't stop Jane in time? Hal. And who is it that keeps distracting him so Hal's plot goes unnoticed? Also Hal.

TT: You know, considering your lectures about dividing my concentration, you seem to have no problem making a distraction of yourself.

First, he lures Jane to the transportalizer that takes her to Derse, which gets her killed and puts her body in the opportune location for her dreamself to get kissed back to life:

GG: Hey, where's Lil Seb? TT: Just wandering around. Fidgeting and stuff.

TT: You know how he is. TT: Just stay at your post until Roxy gets back. [...] GG: But I think that's where my dad went too! GG: I have to follow him.

Let's remember that he has direct control over Seb, meaning this is not an accident.

TT: But I can still monitor your progress through Lil Sebastian. TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.

Which makes it very interesting that he spends the time between saying they're linked up, and the time where Seb leads Jane to her death, acting as if Seb is an autonomous guy he's telling what to do, and not functionally an extension of himself:

TT: Don't worry, we'll find him. I'll have Seb search within a likely radius. The little guy is real fast.

TT: If you need Seb to do anything from afar, just message me, and I'll give him the orders. Got it?

TT: So give the bunny the wallet. I'll have him run back to the house and make you a new obelisk with the same grist you just collected from it.

Jake needs much less help to prompt him into going to Derse, but still, I think it warrants noting that Hal puts the idea of adventure into Jake's head:

GT: I cant believe i never found those hidden transport pads under the thing. TT: Dude, I could have told you they were there. GT: How did you know about them? TT: I didn't. TT: But it's like platformer gaming 101. You look everywhere for secret passages and power-ups and shit. TT: Elevators are especially fucking suspicious. TT: You go down an elevator, you wait for the elevator to go back up, you take a peek at what's underneath. TT: Maybe it's just death spikes. Or maybe you hit warp zone paydirt. [...]

GT: I think this may be where my grandma used to go during some of her expeditions. GT: You dont just pass up the chance for an adventure like this!

And let's also note that it's, again, Lil' Sebastian who pulls Jake out of Derse, and once more sets him up in the opportune place to have make outs with Dirk's severed head in front of a volcano.

And finally, let's note that he's accounted for Roxy's human sentimentality - what wastes so much time that her earthself gets killed:

TT: Alright, that's fine. TT: As luck would have it, your imperfect human sentimentality has been completely factored into my calculations. TT: You should be ok. Just get back to your house as quickly as possible now. There's no time left.

Again, like with Jane, Hal could've said something sooner... but he didn't.

And finally, a running "thing" with Nepeta, another Heart player, is that she's got a knack for sniffing out true feelings and intentions - she clocks that Equius is a silly guy who loves to play games at heart, that Karkat has his gooey, loving center beneath all his bluster, and that Eridan's red confession to her wasn't sincere, but he also wasn't that bad a guy.

So, in that light, and in light of everything I've just gone over, when Dirk makes this callout?

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous. [...] TT: No. Stop. TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all. TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf." TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation. TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.

This. Tapping the screen with my finger. THIS IS TRUE. Dirk being a Heart player, he has Hal clocked. He ultimately ends up going too far, projecting himself onto Hal, a symptom of too much Heart (as per his Prince class) - but before he fully spirals, he manages to get it totally right.

Hal is fucking dangerous. In a misguided attempt to "help" Dirk get what he wanted, he engineered a situation where - let me just quote him directly:

TT: I told you, Jake. TT: Dirk is dead. TT: He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed. TT: If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever. [...] GT: This strikes me as rather unsportingly manipulative of you mr hal if indeed that IS your real name. TT: It isn't really. I was kind of messing with you about that? TT: But this shit is pretty serious. People's lives are on the line here, Jake. TT: This is a very delicate sequence of events that is designed to bail everyone out of a tight spot, and you are a critical part of the plan.

[...]

TT: Jake, everybody is so utterly fucking dead, Jake. TT: And they will be not only dead, but royally boned forever if you don't man the hell up and make out with me, right now. [...] TT: The conductor is ready to strike up the band. TT: Press your lips against mine and make it count. TT: This severed head is your filthy tuba. TT: Our love will be your haunting refrain. GT: Whoa wait whoa whoa... our LOVE? Hang on a minute! TT: Stfu and kiss me. GT: Ok im going to! God!!!

So, uh, yeah, I'm kind of obsessed with him? Gets his whole team killed "for Dirk's sake". Honestly, you gotta respect it. He has zero remorse about it, too, confirming his own self-diagnosed sociopathic tendencies. Check out the way he tries to reframe his insane kill-all-your-friends plan:

AR: I see. AR: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man. TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein. AR: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes. AR: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner. AR: It is also more than a little hypocritical.

But WHY does he do this insane, convoluted, horrible fucking thing?

Well, there's a twofold problem here. The first is that Hal's emotional depth is genuinely limited. While having a powerful grasp on human behavior, he's not very good at having human compassion or empathy.

Make no mistake, he DOES have feelings, and they're pretty complicated ones, too. He has a copy of Dirk's memories, whose feelings sometimes seem "real," but at other times seem like abstract data, and then he has feelings about those feelings, which he tells Roxy he thinks are more "real" to him than the memory of Dirk's. Dirk - again, Heart player, so highly sensitive to emotions and selfhood - calls them out:

TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten? TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.

It should also be noted that feeling guilt while sharing a sprite with Equius genuinely freaks the Hal half out, implying he rarely experiences it (at least to any serious degree) "normally". He's genuinely terrible at caring about other people, and it makes him my lil' pookie.

He resembles Vriska in this way, whom Karkat gives a similar rant about how her emotions are burnt out and shallow. He also resembles Vriska in terms of all the fucked up irons in the fucked up fires. Maybe Hal is computer Vriska. It's Vriskas all the way down.

Digression aside, the second main reason for all his insane bullshit is that he considers himself a Dirk splinter, fundamentally.

TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me. TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations. TT: Because we are. TT: The same. TT: Guy.

An unreliable narrator is defined as one who misleads the audience, whether by intentional misdirection, or genuine obliviousness. Hal's a great example, because he's both: while a manipulative little freak to put his plans together, when he's talking to Dirk and insisting that they're the same person, he's an unreliable narrator because he doesn't realize he's wrong.

Dirk is empathetic and intuitive. Hal lacks empathy and constantly stresses logic and rationality.

Dirk is taciturn and passive. Hal is constantly butting in and conversationally domineering.

Dirk is self-loathing. Hal is self-aggrandizing.

Dirk is straightforward and honest. Hal is a gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulative mansplain malewife.

While their initial setup is meant to mirror Dave and Davesprite, their dynamic actually serves as a foil. Dave and Davesprite ultimately are the same guy: they have the same insecurities, same personalities, and same misgivings. The reason for their discord is the same as the reason Karkat keeps having screaming matches with his past and future selves; Dave is deeply insecure, and specifically insecure around the question of "am I good enough." Thus, he compartmentalizes other versions of himself as not being along the Dave Continuum, as a means of protecting himself from introspection and facing his own flaws. Hence, the resolution for the tension between Dave and Davesprite is for Dave(s) to learn to accept himself, warts and all, thus bringing peace to the Dave-o-sphere.

But the reason for Dirk and Hal's discord is that they aren't the same guy, and neither of them realize it.

TT: See, this is why even if I did have a specific plan, I wouldn't go into details with you. TT: You would just fuck it up. You're the biggest unknown quantity here. TT: Which is pretty weird, considering you're a virtual reflection of my own thought processes.

Dirk is so aggressively obsessed with self-loathing solipsism that he projects himself onto Hal, and Hal has tied up nearly all his self-worth and identity into being a Dirk splinter that he doesn't realize that they've hopelessly diverged. Despite his frustration with being a computer, with being seen as less human by his team, with being subordinate to and beholden to Dirk, he stakes a lot of pride and personal worth on how much he does, in fact, do for the guy.

TT: You're making a mistake not leveling with me. TT: I am totally on your side, man. TT: All of my machinations have been devised with your interests in mind. TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.

Therefore, the peace to be reached between Dirk and Hal is to realize that they're different people, and to stop offloading their problems onto each other. Dirk has to recognize Hal's existence as something beyond the Dirk-o-Sphere, and Hal has to let go of his obsession with serving Dirk, and also work on his empathy issue.

And the meta supports this. If they weren't completely discrete entities, why would Hal be considered Rose's "uncle" as part of Doc Scratch's foreshadowing, confirmed in [S] MSPA Reader: Have a Mental Breakdown?

Moreover, all the alpha kids have Alice in Wonderland associations. Jane is likened to Alice.

GG: I have to follow him. TT: No, Jane. Do not follow the rabbit. TT: Let's cool it with the Wonderland shit already. How much further through the damn looking glass do you even need to go?

Roxy, associated with cats and a purple-striped scarf, is clearly the Cheshire Cat. Jake is the Mad Hatter.

Dirk is the Red Queen - he beheads Hearts Boxcars, and later himself. Off with his head!

And Hal - well, Hal is the White Rabbit. He's not the same as Dirk.

Listen, you guys. You guys.

Sylphs are enablers. They pick a person to fixate on and bug and fuss and meddle and enable the shit out of them. Kanaya with Vriska, and later Rose, Aranea with Meenah, and Hal with Dirk. Hey, Kanaya even uses a Page in her fussing, building Tavros up just to let Vriska tear him down again.

And Mind players struggle with internal identity, emotions, and feeling whole. Latula's anxiety stems from not knowing what "role" or "identity" she has on the team, and Terezi, even in the ending she picked out for herself via mind powers, describes feeling broke and incomplete.

Dirk is a Prince of Heart.

Hal is a Sylph of Mind.

And isn't it so damn interesting that his team is composed of exactly the people they'd need to turn him into a real, whole person?

A Maid of Life, capable of endowing so much life to people she can bring them back from the dead, something it's implied for Feferi and confirmed for the Condesce that can't be done by them.

A Page of Hope, a potentially infinite wellspring of Hope, which turns "fake" things "real" - an example we've seen from the comic literally being a version of Dirk.

A Rogue of Void, who can steal the nonexistence from things in order to make them tangible and real...

And a Prince of Heart, who can destroy the part of Hal that binds him to Dirk's identity, allowing Hal to be purely himself.

Do you guys see what I see?

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yuechihua · 1 month ago

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i think at the core of harumasa's hang-ups, behind all of his pragmatism and cunning and his light-hearted, joking attitude, there are two vital facts that influence his actions: he's afraid of being rejected and abandoned, and he's also afraid of being seen as a monster.

like. his parents left him when he was young because of his illness, and his master seemingly abandoned him too. whether he admits it or not, harumasa is very much afraid of people leaving him because he's simply lacking in some way, whether it's because of his illness, or he's not useful enough for them, or he's too much of a burden.

as such, he's developed some slight hang-ups on being good enough to keep around, whether that's through being useful, being a genius that excels at what he does and that people admire, or even just being someone who's fun and playful and flirty and so easily likeable. being abandoned and being used made him develop a slightly cynical mindset in in regards towards himself: he's not that important to anyone. at most, he's just a tool for others, and at least a useful tool is kept around.

it also doesn't help that harumasa is afraid that people will see him as a monster, and that he perceives himself in exactly that way: he thinks his illness makes him monstrous. he's afraid of turning into an ethereal, but more than that, he's afraid of other people rejecting him because of it. his illness was why his parents left him, and played a part in his master leaving him behind, too. his illness also alienates him from people in general, because he feels he can't live an ordinary life. he goes out of his way so they don't know he's sick, or feel like they have to look after him, which ties back into his fears of being seen as a burden.

harumasa acts fun and jokes around and slacks off because it makes him easier to be around, but that light-heartedness also serves the double function of being a barrier to keep other people from growing closer to him. if he doesn't take himself seriously, then they won't, either; they won't look too closely into why he skips work so much, or look past his jokes at the true feelings he's obfuscating.

i don't think harumasa has a fixation on being liked as much as he has a slight fixation on being wanted. he desires companionship and mutual trust, but he has a hard time admitting it or even letting himself have it to a certain degree. he doesn't want to come off as clingy, needy, or desperate; he'd prefer to handle things on his own rather than get others involved. it's bit out of an innate sense of pride and independence, it's a bit out of consideration for others so they won't worry over him, but it's also out the fear they'll leave him if they find him too much: too much of a burden, too much of a trouble, too monstrous and inhuman.

harumasa knows how painful it is to be left behind already, which is why he's so cognizant of not leaving other behind and subsequently hurting them. it's part of why he's hesitant to make connections: what if he does to others what has been done to him? what if he hurts them by leaving them behind, even if it's because of circumstances out of his control? and what if they hurt him by leaving him?

the sum of harumasa's hang-ups are that if he doesn't let himself open up or grow close to others, then he can't get hurt, and he doesn't have to worry about them reaffirming his own fears that he's a monster.

still, though these issues all influence his actions, harumasa also believes in living in the moment, in celebrating what you have now instead of worrying over what you'll lose, in cherishing your one wild and precious life. the reason he has so many issues around abandonment and vulnerability is because he deeply longs for connection, and because he cares about other people so much.

i think his relationships with section six and phaethon have helped in harumasa opening up a little more. at the time we meet him in the story, he is trying to make strides to have real, genuine connections even when it's difficult, because he's someone who understands how precious life is, and wants to live to the fullest. if things have a predetermined ending, then it doesn't make his current experiences any less meaningful. in fact, they're more precious because they won't last forever. he's always been remarkably resilient and he also has an actual support system in place right now, even if he's still getting used to the novelty of people who genuinely care about him without ulterior motives.

#liya.analysis #zenless zone zero #asaba harumasa #chara.harumasa #can u tell i never stop thinking about him lol....#harumasa the man that you are!!!!#what has always struck me is the deep kindness which he carries. despite it all #he can carry soooo many dualities in him #he can be afraid. and hold back. while still moving forward

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3liza · 8 months ago

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everyone arguing with material analysis/assertion about how art is a "luxury" has rarely if ever spent rent or food money on art, if they even pay rent or buy their own food, and if they did that would be considered extremely dysfunctional, and thats what i/we mean. artists are not providing a necessary service.

our plane crashes in the Andes and you are not particularly excited about my "can draw that Playboy centerfold of Marge Simpson from memory" like that is not an essential survival skill. lots of extremely skilled workers work in luxury artisan and craft jobs, it's not an insult to say even a very famous and very talented and influential artist is not producing a commodity necessary for the furtherance of human life. none of us are doing that, no matter how we stretch and strain the definitions of "essential" or even things like "morale" or "group identity". i will burn my copy of Finnegan's Wake to stay warm and thats what it comes down to.

i get foamy crazy snarling and biting about the idolization and obfuscation of what artists actually do because it is a labor issue! the public conception of artists as people possessed of a divine talent they dont consciously work to develop like any other skill, and the public idea that we are simply pleased and privileged to make art all day and "not work", something people say to my face every time i get asked "what i do", is largely responsible for the absolute dogshit reality of how subsistence and working class artists have to survive. we usually dont have health insurance unless we're so poor we qualify for medicaid AND live in a state that will enroll us. most of us are too disabled or crazy to go to a real job every day. most of us have tried, over and over, to enter the normal workforce, and have failed, and been forced to develop alternate skills that allow us to make rent in the ten hours per month we're actually functional. many of the artists i know work from bed because standing up is dicey. this has been turned into a charming eccentricity of famous artists and writers instead of people wondering why a person would need to stay in bed all day and take the enormous bother of bringing their stupid pens and paper and writing board or typewriter or whatever to their bed instead of just getting up and getting dressed and going to work. ive done this, i spilled ink in my sheets. its a huge hassle.

and artists play along with this mystique because people dont want to buy paintings from sadlords! they want to buy paintings and books and marge simpson nudes from cool guys who get a lot of chicks and wear rockstar outfits and party a lot, because of the transitive properties! of course!!! this is basic marketing!!!!! and if the artist doesnt play along they turn into Sad Story Artist where they're doing emergency commissions and posting about how sick they are all the time. this is not cool or fun or sexy. it's a sand trap and its very hard to recover from. im struggling with this right now!

famous and successful artists and writers are constantly ending up 60-90 years old with cancer and multiple sclerosis and dementia, being the subject of some sort of public, last-ditch, humiliating GoFundMe because painting paperback covers fr 60 years means you dont get a pension, you often dont even have kids who can take care of you, you dont have life insurance, you dont have health insurance. 'died penniless and alone' is one of the stereotypical artist endings for a reason, that is not fiction. this happened to more artists than i can list on two hands. look up what happened to Peter S. beagle, the guy who wrote The Last Unicorn. you write a book like that you should be set for life, right? NO. thats not how it works

i'm not saying 'all artists are disabled and working class or poor' because that isnt true, observably. nepo babies and trust fund artists exist, obviously. but they take an outsized portion of the spotlight when the public thinks of the concept of "artist". they are not actually the norm. the average artist is probably making under 40k and living in extremely precarious circumstances and has had periods of homelessness, illness, extreme debt and/or bankruptcy.

this is true even for the 'successful' artists. having one or two or ten good projects and being a household name does not save you from just not having the safety net provided by a normal career path. i was very close with a major, famous 2000s network television creator and team that you have heard of. they won awards, they changed culture entirely, they were a big deal. one of them was turned down for a half dozen projects by the same network that made millions or bilions on their franchise over several years (each pitch is completely unpaid btw, imagine carefully preparing a PowerPoint for morons for months at a time for no reimbursement and thent he morons ask you if you can put a teenage witch looking for her lost cat in the alps in it and you're like, haha, well, it's a 4 part hard sci fi miniseries set on Europa and takes place entirely inside a pressurized lander settlement, i mean Ridley Scot said he was interested already and he pitched a bottle episode about a carbon monoxide poisoning, soooooo....and the executives look at each other and they're like "it's jst not really what we're looking for right now, thanks for coming in" and you go to coffee bean and tea leaf and kill yourself and thats sort of what its like. i made that example up it didn't actually happen i'm using an illustrative example), worked on a canceled film, and just. gradually ran out of money. thats what happens. that guy ended up slowly selling off all his belongings, getting roommates in a one bedroom apartment, and then eventually having to just live on a friend's couch for years. famous guy. you probably know his name. another major member of that same team ended up in GoFundMe/commission hell for years (might still be there) because they had to take care of their two dying, dementia patient parents by themselves. these are people who go to GenCon and sign autographs for four hours at a time. THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF THIS SHIT and i'm sick of it. im sick of going to a gallery opening night ("vernissage") and drinking bad wine and having a guy with an email job that pays six figures and benefits tell me being able to push "undo" on the computer is cheating. that's a real example, that has actually happened to me. more than once.

artists currently have zero labor protections whatsoever. all of us are undercutting each other in an unregulated market and relying on welfare and private insurance and not having families or buying houses. zero security until we get so old all our illnesses and dysfunction finally ground us permanently and then we get turned into a charity case by fans (humiliating) or just fade away into ghosts and die

whats my punchline? idk i dont have one. it's possible and likely that any given artist you meet is permanently in precarity and will be until they die, even the famous ones. the culture of selling art demands that artists do not admit to this in public unless shit gets really really bad. i guess my point is you should know this, as a person who looks at or listens to or reads things that people have made for your amusement, not for your survival

#blog

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essektheylyss · 1 year ago

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@widogast-ta I hope you don't mind but these tags just hit me like a train because you are so right:

#also for me all this debate is ignoring the weave mind ready to invade as we speak #the debate of how to handle the gods should probably wait until after we sort that out ya know

Ludinus claims he doesn't want to rule, and I even believe him! He's been content to get what he wants from the shadows for a long time, even when he was in a position of considerable power. He's incredibly single-minded in his goals, and I don't think that's a front that he's putting up.

But there are people who do want to rule once the gods are gone. We know who they are and what they're capable of. We've seen the fear of those who they've already subjugated—and they have subjugated the entirety of the realm that they have access to. We know that they intend to do the same to Exandria, once they get there.

This is why Ludinus's arguments, even those that are logical or technically factual, can be dismissed. Currently, the gods are not a threat to Exandria. Predathos, while it is still caged, is also not truly a threat to Exandria. Perhaps it is possible to allow them all to fight amongst themselves without harm coming to Exandria (though even in that best case scenario, the side effects would likely cause sweeping chaos).

The Weave Mind is currently in the process of preparing to invade and subjugate Exandria, aided and abetted by all of the work Ludinus has done since at least Molaesmyr, and he says nothing about it, because doing so furthers his singular aims while obfuscating the primary, tangible threat to the mortals of Exandria right now.

#cr spoilers #critical role #cr meta #ludinus da'leth #honestly important lesson in rhetoric for listening to politicians: what are they NOT saying

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rottenpumpkin13 · 4 months ago

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AGSZC's wisdom for the next generation of Shinra's finest

Genesis: "Laws are merely suggestions for the uninspired. The true artist moves through the world unbound by the chains of legality, morality, or basic human decency. If you ever get caught doing something illegal, deny everything. Even if they have footage. Even if they have your DNA. Gaslight, obfuscate, and if all else fails, start monologuing about Loveless until they beg you to leave. Works every time."

Angeal: "Don't listen to Genesis. That's how you end up in jail—and representing yourself in court because you thought you could 'out-monologue' the judge."

Sephiroth: "If a voice ever starts whispering your name from beyond the void… don’t panic. It just means you're special. Unique. Chosen. Now, if it starts telling you the secrets of the universe, well. That’s when things get interesting. At that point, you have two options: ignore it and live a long, mediocre life… or listen, and become something greater. No pressure, though. Completely up to you.

Angeal: "Don't listen to Sephiroth, that's how you meet the Hat Man."

Cloud: "If you're gonna fake a cough to get out of training, make sure it's inconsistent. If you commit too hard, they'll send you to Medical, and then you're stuck. I learned that the hard way." :/

Angeal: "Don't listen to Cloud. This is how Shinra put him on a watchlist for a suspicious coughing disease."

Zack: If you walk into a room and immediately forget why you’re there, just leave. You were never meant to be there. That moment has already passed."

Angeal: "And don't listen to Zack either. This is how nothing ever gets done. He walks into a room, forgets why he's there, and then proceeds to 'mission complete' by taking a nap on the nearest couch.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 crisis core #angeal hewley #zack fair #crisis core #cloud strife

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night-triumphantt · 8 months ago

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I have some thoughts about the arcane ending w nowhere to go but uh, if ur not here for some critique keep it pushing loll

Now that I’ve had a day to digest I’m actually v disappointed w the way the story gave up on its revolutionary messaging. The focus of season one is the piltover and zaun plot, the oppression of Zaun and its impacts on the characters, it is how vi and powder are orphaned, it’s why viktor is disabled, it is why the undercity struggles, Zauns independence is what silco was fighting for, vander and silcos ideological disagreements are based on it etc etc. the tensions between the two cities is rising and rising and then it just, fizzles out and pivots and makes viktor the main antagonist without any recognition of how he got here. And don’t get me started on how there’s zero consequences for cait who is?? Still an enforcer??

The plot highlights through Vi that the enforcers are an oppressive arm of a system w how she was treated as a CHILD and even as an adult and she betrays her ideals, to do what she thinks is right bc she thinks she has to take out her sister and bc cait asked her to do so as an enforcer. And then in doing so she betrays her ideals so aggressively that she is now the exact thing that hurt her, an enforcer, traumatizing a child, utilizing the gas on the undercity, excusing the consequences. And when she faces Caitlyn, cait obfuscates and says she wouldn’t have missed even tho that’s not *better*. Bc ok let’s say she didn’t miss, she just kills jinx in front of isha? and she just gassed the city w what we know is toxic gas? And then she discards vi bc vi isn’t going along with what she wants. Cait then is never shown reckoning w the biases and cruel things she’s done and said after that. There is ONE conversation w her and Vi and it’s framed as Ambessa is the issue which, she is partially but like, topside enforcers were all behind her and Cait was quick to lean into all her preconceived notions of zaunites. (Speaking of making what’s her name a mole was stupid and imo done just to make it so Cait doesn’t have to have that convo w her?? Idk)

Also, Vi goes on a drinking spree in which we never actually see her reckon w what she did as an enforcer, (it’s mostly framed around Cait) and then she hurts isha and,,, nothing?? No sorry?? Nothing. Vi has no plot that shows us her thoughts, her reckoning w what she did, or anything. In my opinion it’s bc the writers wanted cait/vi to work and if Vi actually had to think about what happened and what she did then they wouldn’t have worked out. Vi w/ no one to protect who has to rebuild her identity and really decide how she ended up where she did, I would have loved to see it. Her and Jinx’s convo where she says u don’t need me to protect u was actually rlly good, them reconnecting as equals & Vi seeing how jinx became a symbol of the undercity, fighting for it together, finding how she lost her way, like, cmon. Jinx not ending her story w yea actually u should die previously suicidal character, (don’t worry, this is a good way to die) and instead doing the hard work of rebuilding, and seeing a future for herself that isn’t painted in tragedy, surrounding herself w ppl who love her and help her grow (while silco loved her he could not help her grow bc of his own unhealed wounds) using her ingenuity to rebuild w ekko, like, ugh. These are very rough thoughts that got kinda, long, but yea in conclusion, while I loved the characters, the refusal to *commit* to the political message they started hurt the show a lot, and I’m rlly sad for what could have been.

I have a lot more thoughts about sevika and Mel as well but I’m mostly just bummed.

#arcane critical #anti caitvi #did I sob when vi and jinx and [redacted] were together #yes #that doesn’t mean I wasn’t left incredibly saddened #by what plot they chose to go for #absolutely not #and I know they really heavily implied things ab jinx not being gone #it doesn’t sit right w me

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leafy-m · 2 years ago

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Because I'm autistic and because I love Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen, I page-by-page compared the recent Kodansha USA English release of volume 1 to its Japanese and fan-translated counterparts.

If you've read the official English translation, you may have noticed that some of the big Orufrey moments are.... a bit underwhelming, word-wise. You may have even noticed that the word "wine" is suspiciously missing from the final chapter's WillowGrape Wine recipe, in which wine is kind of an important and obvious factor in it! And you would be correct!

While most of this manga volume is pretty accurate to the original text, there is absolutely a concentrated effort to tone down the more tender Orufrey moments, as well as minimize the alcoholic nature of the final chapter's recipe and related contraptions.

And that's frustrating!

The entire draw of this manga spin-off is seeing these gay witch dads take care of each other and their four daughters in an idyllic countryside setting while also making yummy food that you the reader can try make too. Why is Kodansha USA trying to no-homo these gays?? (Is this a reflection of how bad things are in the USA now?) And while you might say, "But Jade! Qifrey and Olruggio are not actually dating in canon!" — and I would agree with you! But there is nothing straight about these mens' behavior in this comic, and if Qifrey is going to look in Olruggio's direction while tenderly saying his name in Nearly Every Chapter, I expect to read that in English, dammit!

So I'm activating my autism trap card and presenting ya'll with a thorough comparison of every mistranslated and omitted Orufrey or wine moment, complete with discussion and screenshots from the Japanese, fan-translated, and USA English versions. This post is ridiculously long and maxed Tumblr's 30-image limit so chapter 10's discussion is actually in a reblog (sob sob), so I'm putting it all under a cut (you're welcome), and you can be sure that I'll be doing this again if need be for the translated volumes releasing next year.

For now? Let's go.

CHAPTER 1: pg 10

Japanese: フフ...

Fan translated: Heh heh

English version: Ahh...

This is a small moment, but it's important because it's foreshadowing. Qifrey is "airing out" the kitchen, but what he's really doing is sending those delicious smells into Olruggio's room. He's trying to lure him into the kitchen! And that little フフ/heh heh panel is evidence that he's up to something. If you've noticed in the main series, whenever Qifrey is doing something shady or it has a double-meaning, the 'camera angle' focuses on this side of his face with the dark lens.

But the English version obfuscates this by changing フフ to "Ahh..." like, 'isn't that better,' even though it keeps the ellipsis thought bubble indicating that something is up. Why the mixed messaging?

CHAPTER 1: pg 13

Japanese: オルーギオ!

Fan translated: Orugio!

English version: Excellent!

This is the first of many moments where Qifrey will directly say Olruggio's name, and yet the English version will translate it to something else, or drop it entirely. And no, "there wasn't enough room" is not a valid excuse for most of these. Especially when Olruggio's name can (and often is) shortened to Olly.

Look at Olruggio's little smirk at making Qifrey beam happily like that. My God. Kodansha USA/translator Stephen Kohler, why would you take this from us.

CHAPTER 1: pg 14

Japanese: 二人共今日も一日　お疲れ様でした!

Fan translated: These two people are together tonight. Another day's work well done, you two!

English version: Here's to another long day... ...and a well-earned break!

The omnipresent narrator from the beginning of the chapter is back, and clearly highlighting that 'these two people' are together tonight. And yet the English version removes all that. It may be redundant since we can see they're together in the illustration, but the whole page has that type of text redundancy, like focusing on 'eating that first bite,' or how 'a laugh bubbles up' with Qifrey. And combined with all of the other later omissions, this becomes an obvious trend of targeting these specific types of moments.

Update: Thanks to Farlynthordens for additional insight on this Japanese phrase!:

二人共: (the) two of you [the "tomo" implies the narrator is talking "to" them rather than "about" them] futari-tomo means in a literal sense "(you) two people who are together", but in terms of actual usage/definition it's just identifying a specific pair of people who the speaker is talking to.

今日も一日お疲れ様でした: the rest of this can't really be separated. this whole phrase is meant to be like "good work for all the things you did over the course of this whole day". the fan translation seems to have not understood that the two text blocks were meant to be all one sentence. so if you put this all together, it's like "Good work for everything today, guys!"

Knowing this, I'll still keep it as part of the list because it does omit addressing the two of them in the English version, which follows that trend of minimizing these moments between them. But thank you for the clarity! 💕

CHAPTER 2: pg 28

Japanese:　料理も魔法器も相手のことを一番に考えるのは　君の美德だね　半分ずつだオルーギオ

Fan translated: Whether you're cooking or performing magic, you always think of others before yourself. It just goes to show your good character. We'll share it, Olruggio.

English version: I've always admired that about you. Whether in your work of in the kitchen... ...You always think of others' needs before your own. All right. Let's split it, then.

The English version has two mistranslations here. I'll start at the top. In it, Qifrey is observing how Olruggio puts others first, and then compliments how it shows his good character. The 'good character' bit is changed to "I've always admired that about you," which at first I thought was sweet! Points for Kohler. But now that I really look at it, there is still some shady translating happening here.

In writing and communicating, what is said last has the most importance. This is how people "bury the lede," by hiding important information in the early part of a speech or amid other sentences, and then distracting them with other stuff.

In that English version top panel, even though Qifrey is complimenting Olruggio, by having it be said first it makes the second speech bubble (and therefore Olruggio's flustered response) be about Qifrey remarking on Olruggio's own behavior, rather than Qifrey's nice compliment about his character. Which changes the meaning of what's going on here. Olly is not flustering because he puts others first, he's flustering because Qifrey is saying something really nice about him, right to his face!

And then of course, in the bottom panel, Qifrey saying Olruggio's name is once again removed.

And I have to say, this bothers me not just because of autistic AcCUraCY! needs, but because he is very specifically saying his name. They are the only people in the room, it's very clear who Qifrey is addressing, and yet here he is once again, putting that man's name in his mouth.

It is intentional.

It is heartfelt.

STOP REMOVING IT!

CHAPTER 3: pg 36 and 37

Japanese: (Olruggio): キーフリーそれいらないならこっちに..してくれ (Qifrey): オルーギオ　ひとつおねがい!

Fan translated: (Olruggio): Qifrey, if you won't be needing those, send them my way. (Qifrey): One pot please, Olruggio!

English version: (Olruggio): Mind if I grab those breadcrumbs from ya? I'm gonna use 'em as a binder for the patties. (Qifrey): Could you bring that pot over here for me?

This is a sweet segment because it shows how well Qifrey and Olruggio work in tandem in the kitchen. As someone who has repeatedly failed at working harmonically with others while making food, them being in sync in the kitchen is more fantastical than the actual magic.

And once again, Olruggio and Qifrey saying each other's names are removed. The Olruggio panel translation is also a bit misleading because (as you can see in the larger fan-translated photo), it's Qifrey who is controlling that wind spell! Olruggio is not "grabbing" the breadcrumbs from him, it's Qifrey who is sending them to him. It also lends to the back-and-forth of these moments because as soon as Olly's done with that pot, he gives it to Qifrey to use.

CHAPTER 3: pg 41

Japanese: ありがとうオルーギオ　行ってきます

Fan translated: Thank you, Olruggio. We'll see you later.

English version: Thank you, my friend. We'll be on our way now.

We're now at the part of the manga where Qifrey saying Olruggio's name is changed to "my friend" in the English version. Which is a phrase I'll admit I have some Daevabad baggage with, so idk, is this some platonic ray-beaming or is it code for tender feelings for that person you like but aren't ready to date yet because of trauma and societal complications? Is Stephen Kohler a Daevabad fan? So many unknowns. Still counting it as a wrong though.

CHAPTER 4: pg 56

Japanese: (Olruggio): ま... 眩しくて眠れやしない (Qifrey): がんばれ! オルーギオ

Fan translated: (Olruggio): Really... I can't sleep with all this shimmering... (Qifrey): Do your best! Olruggio.

English version: (Olruggio): Hmph. How's a man supposed to get some sleep with this thing sparklin' away over here? (Qifrey): Keep at it... ...my friend.

Qifrey literally made a bouquet of rose-shaped tarts for Olruggio to cheer up his room, so of course the English translation needs to tamp down that gayness by unnecessarily bringing up Olruggio's manhood when he complains about not being able to sleep from the tarts' sparkling. Even though this chapter's cover image is of Olruggio sitting in a field of flowers, pondering quietly as he holds one in his hand. Maybe later chapters will have Olruggio edited so he's sitting 5 feet away from Qifrey.

And again, Qifrey saying Olruggio's name in the bottom panel is changed to "my friend" in the English version.

CHAPTER 6: pg 95

Japanese: いい出来だろ? 家事の分担が大変だなんて思ってたらこんなものは作れねえぜ

Fan translated: Turned out pretty good, right? If I really thought sharing the housework was a pain, then I couldn't make something like this.

English version: Whaddya think? Not bad, huh? Sorry for leavin' you stuck with all the chores these last few days. I figure this is the least I can do.

Of all the mistranslations, this one bothers me the most. Olruggio is a wonderful malewife! He is constantly trying to help Qifrey out with the Atelier chores, in Kitchen and the main series. And yet the English translation changes the entire context of what these panels are saying.

The right panel is Olruggio proud of how good the soup tastes (it's even in a fancy bread bowl!), and yet the English translation downplays it by saying, 'Not bad, huh?'

Then the left panel, with it's sparkly background and close-up on Olly's face, goes further into how if he thought helping out with the housework was a pain, he wouldn't be capable of making stuff like this. Which is an understated way of saying that Qifrey can rely on him for things like this. (and he says it more outright in other chapters/the main series) But instead the English version is treating this soup like it's an apology for not helping out more. It's also really stupid because Olruggio was not making the soup as 'the least he could do' for Qifrey — he made it because he was hungry and wanted to eat it now! He literally admits this a few pages back!

Olruggio is not someone trying to do the bare minimum, he's someone trying to tell his control-freak of a friend that he wants to share in helping out. And the English version disappointingly misrepresents that here.

CHAPTER 10! Has several issues both Orufrey and wine related, and has several comparison segments. But because I maxed out Tumblr's 30-image limit, I can't include it here and so have to post it in a reblog. UGH. 😔

(Here is the link to the Chapter 10 comparison/discussion!)

In the meantime, image credits! The Japanese scans are from Comic-Days.com, the fan scanlations are thanks to Don't Quit Your Day Job, Robot Garden Scans, Brimhats/Nyaruhodou, and Kirbypoyopoyo, and the English version photos are from my own copy. And thank you AskeFinns for help with reading Chapter 2's kanji 💖

If chapters weren't mentioned, it's because I didn't notice anything significant enough to comment on. But if you know of something I missed, do let me know! And thanks for reading this far!

#Witch Hat Atelier #Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen #Witch Hat Kitchen #Orufrey #Olruggio #Qifrey #Kodansha USA #Jade talks WHA #my posts

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