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richieisabastardman · 6 years ago

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I Need You Tonight - Barry Berkman x Reader

Summary: Your involvement with the Chechen mafia has led to you committing a range of criminal offences. The worst being your work as a hit man. However, with the weight of such sins upon your shoulders, you look for understanding and companionship in the only person you know will understand. Barry. (Angst/Fluff/Smut)

Warnings: Swearing, Killing, Blood, Clothed Grinding, Thigh Riding, Hands on necks but not choking (and in a hot way), Barry’s a low key dom, Sexual Situations

Word count: 3718

Notes: This is so long but I refuse to have sexy stuff without a story behind it. I’d love to know whether you guys prefer longer stories or shorter ones? I like writing long ones but then I hate having to edit them after lmao. Anyway, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Heres a link to my other Barry Berkman fic

“I swear to God Hank, this is the last hit. This is it, alright? I’m done after this one”.

Barry’s eyes were furrowed and serious as he spoke to the Chechen man. You stared at him from where you sat upon a grey velvet lounge in the new and improved stash house. Your eyes roamed his body, his broad shoulders contained by a thin black sweater. His sleeves were rolled upwards which allowed you to peak at his thick forearms. His legs were unfortunately hidden by jeans that were just a little too loose for your liking. He wore a black cap upon his head, which shaded his face under the artificial light of the warehouse. You wished you could see more of his face, as his expression was difficult to read. Yes, his expression was serious. So was his voice. However, the thought that Barry wouldn’t be coming here anymore didn’t sit well with you. Something strange must have been going on for him to act like this.

You watched Barry finalize his deal with Hank before beginning to walk over to the couch in which you were lounging. His face had softened a great deal on his walk over and he appeared almost meek as he met your gaze and smiled.

“Hey” he said, standing in front you. Admiring him from such an angle made him appear inches taller than he already was.

“Hey” you returned the greeting, continuing to smile. “Come sit with me”.

Barry shuffled his feet for a moment, almost contemplating your command, before obeying. He sat on the couch next to you, but he left enough space between the both of you to eliminate any intimacy. Naturally you moved closer to him. Your hand made its way around the back of the couch, almost trapping Barry within your presence. You saw him gulp and he stared at you for a moment with wide eyes before his gaze moved to his lap.

“I heard what you said to Hank. About this being your last job. Are you really not coming back?” you asked.

His gaze moved to you again for a moment before shifting back to his lap as he nodded his head. “Yeah. I’m – I’m trying to be a better guy”.

You let out a huff and pouted your lips, feigning sadness. Barry saw this and laughed slightly, appearing to relax a little. “But I think you’re a good guy already. A great guy, in fact!” you said.

Barry’s gaze met yours for the final time. He stared at you, his eyes wider than before and his mouth hanging slightly open. His reaction to your words tugged at your heart. When Barry spoke to Hank, he was the military man you had heard about before you got the chance to meet him. His eyebrows furrowed, his eyes dark, his arms folded to halt any kind of connection to those near him. However, the first time you met him; his aura had softened. He had become almost childlike and innocent. He was always polite and almost shy around you. You began to see the difference between the man born Barry Berkman and the man he called Barry Block.

“Do you really think that?” he asked, his voice the softest you’d ever heard it.

“Of course” you replied earnestly and he smiled.

He stared at you in silence for a moment before speaking again. “Why didn’t they just get you to do this job”.

“I don’t do that anymore. I’m getting more into the drug side of this business” you grinned.

“Nice. Lots of money in that I guess” He said, nodding his head in thought. “Do you think you’ll ever do anything else?” he asked.

You pondered his question for a moment. This had been the first time you had even considered the prospect of leaving Hank and his crew. Whilst the job was dangerous, and obviously illegal, Hank had given you the opportunity to make money and have a roof over your head. He was also a great boss, very laissez-faire. He had taken a chance by hiring you, and you hadn’t thought of anything else since.

“Maybe” you answered. “But these guys have given me everything I have right now. I feel like leaving them would be … disloyal”.

Barry nodded his head for a moment before clapping his hands together and standing up off of the couch. “I have to go. Got to get to my acting class” He said in response to your raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah that’s right! I’ve heard about that” you smiled, and he once again returned the smile. “Well, go break a leg” you said.

“Thanks Y/N” he said, and turned around to make his way out of the warehouse.

He shouldn’t have made you do it. He shouldn’t have. Hank had promised you that you wouldn’t have to do anymore kills for him. He had promised you that you would be able to just work in their drug trade. However, during the evening of the day in which you had spoken to Barry about his own hitman retirement, Hank had called you. You had been just about to de-robe for the day, a glass of wine in hand when you had heard your mobile ringing. Groaning and muttering profanities, you saw Hank’s name on your cell as you picked it up. It wasn’t rare for Hank to call you at all times of the day, so the panic did not hit you until you heard his voice on the other end. It was sickly sweet even for him.

“You’re gonna hate me for asking you to do this”

And he was right. You did hate him for asking you to do that for him, because he knew you couldn’t say no.

You had held it together up until you shut the door after hauling your body inside your apartment.

You held it together as you drove to the location of your target, a lovely suburban neighbourhood. You held it together when you walked into the house, passing pictures of said target and his wife and children. You held it together as you shot the man from behind as he watched TV, oblivious to your presence. You even held it together as you disposed of his body. However, the minute you let your door slam behind you, a red that was now browning staining your hands – you could no longer hold it together. You broke down, your breath coming in and out of you in rapid waves as you slid down the door, sobbing silently. You went to wipe your face with your hands before you caught sight of their colour and began sobbing again.

You dragged yourself to your bathroom, quickly turning on the shower and undressing before pushing yourself under the stream of water. You watched the coloured water turn clear as you cleaned the night off your body. The shower however could not clean the night off your mind. When you had spoken to Barry about why you couldn’t do his hit for Hank, you were only telling specific truths. Yes, you had moved into the drug trade. However, you had not done so just for the hell of it. You had always thought of yourself as strong. Hence, when you began to do hits for Hank, the weight of such a job on your soul was only minimal. But as the body count increased, the voice of your conscience grew louder. Your last hit, before this one, had almost gotten you killed. You had frozen up, panic setting into you. Your target had taken advantage of this fact. Hank had promised to find you another job.

“You’ve done so much for us. Just relax! I’ll find you something else to do, I promise”

And he kept his promise. He did, until he didn’t. And he didn’t tonight.

You weren’t sure how you were going to make it through the night alone. You wouldn’t get any sleep, you knew you wouldn’t. But you had no one to call and nowhere to go except to your bed and the nightmares there that awaited you. You stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body. You could barely feel its softness and warmth due to the numbness which had encased your skin and brain. You walked to your bedroom, feet heavy and steps slow. You pulled on a black skirt and a white t-shirt. You also placed socks upon your feet and shoes on top of them. Walking to your front door, you grabbed your car keys, your hair still wet from the shower and soaking through the fabric of your shirt. You walked down to the parking lot of your apartment block and entered your car. As you sat there, trying to focus your vision, you hear the engine of your car begin to roar. You had started the car. You didn’t even realise. Reversing out of your spot and onto the LA streets, you understood where the being that had current control of your body was taking you.

There was one place you could go. There was one person you could go to.

Barry stood upon the low stage of the theatre in which Gene Cousineau’s acting classes were held. A script gripped tightly in his hand, he spoke his lines with a forceful monotonicity to the painfully neutral faces of the audience. Sally stood next to him, delivering her responses with much more power as Barry watched in awe. He could only dream of being as good as her one day. When he was halfway through his response to Sally’s character’s plea, Barry heard the doors of the stage room open. Everyone in the room turned their head towards the intruder, confused and irritated looks clouding their faces.

You stood beyond the open doors, breathing hard. Your hair had dried up more on the drive over to Barry’s acting class. You had kept the windows open in case your body decided to remove the shame from within you as well. You stood and stared at Barry, his eyes widening in panic. He jumped down from the stage, walking swiftly towards you.

“What is going on, Barry? Where are you going? Who is this?” Gene asked, clearly annoyed, his eyes following the tall man as he raced towards your figure standing in the theatre. That is how you truly appeared to him in that moment. A figure. Because as you stood within that room and stared at him as he was upon that stage, you had never looked so deflated. He had never seen you look so scared.

“She’s a friend of mine. I’ll handle it. Just carry on without me” he said, quickly reaching you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders to lead you out of the theatres.

Once you were out in the hall, Barry turned you so that you were facing him, his hands on your shoulders. They gripped you tightly but comfortingly as he hunched himself slightly to be eye level with you. “You can’t come here, okay Y/N. You can’t come here” he said softly. It wasn’t a command of anger nor disappointment, it was one of concern. You knew right now he was Barry Block, the auto parts salesman. But you needed Barry Berkman, the man who had seen the same shit as you and could help.

You didn’t respond to Barry’s command and you could see he was beginning to panic, his jaw tightening. When a tear welled up within your right eye and fell down your cheek, he paused his panicky state. He chose instead to rub his hands up and down your upper arms slowly, still hunching to reach your eyes with his own easier.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asked and you shook your head violently, almost like a child.

“I need you” you choked out “Please, just tonight, I need you”.

Your plea was all Barry needed to feel wave of protectiveness wash over him. A product of evolution, perhaps. Big man protects scared little woman. He knew you weren’t a scared little woman, however, which is why your current state worried him more. Despite such thoughts, he nodded his head, obeying your command for the second time that day and began leading you out of the building.

“Did you drive here?” he asked, his arm around your shoulder.

You nodded your head and he hummed. “I’ll drive us to your place. I can come get my car later” he said and led you to your car.

Barry led you up the stairs of your apartment block to your door. You handed him the keys, your shaking hands causing them to let out a jingle which filled the silence between the two of you. He opened your front door and led you into your apartment. Sitting you down on your loveseat lounge, he disappeared into your kitchen, returning with a glass of water. You held the glass which he had nudged into your hands, sipping from it tentatively. Finally, he sat beside you, his hands on his knees, rubbing them anxiously.

“Did you want to talk about what happened?” he asked, trying to look into your teary eyes. You continued to stare forward, sipping from your glass.

“Hank got me to do a job tonight. I didn’t want to…” you trailed off, finally turning your head to meet Barry’s gaze. He gave you a tight-lipped smile, one that communicated his understanding and encouraged you to continue. “I freaked out and didn’t know who could help… until I remembered our talk today. I’m sorry I turned up at your acting class-“

“It’s fine” he replied, rubbing your back gently with his large hands “I was just surprised”.

Suddenly, you practically launched yourself into Barry’s chest, pressing your face against the soft fabric of his shirt and wrapping your hands tightly around his middle. Your glass had been flung across the room but did not shatter. Some water remained in it still. Barry’s hands remained open for a moment in shock before wrapping around you, holding you tightly against his chest. You began to sob again once you felt his tenderness and he placed his cheek on the top of your head, shushing you quietly and mumbling something into your hair.

“What?’ you asked and Barry gently pulled you back so that he could look you in the eyes, with hands upon your shoulders.

“I said, you’re a good person Y/N”

You stared at him with wide, teary eyes and an open mouth, mirroring Barry’s own expression earlier that same day. The way that he looked at you, his eyes almost sparkling, told you that he truly meant what he said. Whilst you didn’t believe him, you appreciated the sentiment.

You moved your hand to Barry’s cheek, the stubble there tickling your palm ever so slightly. He shut his eyes at the touch and you leaned forward, gently covering his lips with your own. His eyes shot open at the kiss, however with your own eyes shut, you didn’t catch his panic. He shut them again quickly, leaning forward into your kiss and opening his mouth to allow it to deepen. He moved one of his hands to your waist, gripping there tightly, protectively. You moaned at his touch and you felt his shuddery breath in response. His other hand gripped the side of your neck gently, his fingers just under your jaw. When his thumb moved to the other side of your neck, his grip now encasing your neck, you moaned again, and this prompted Barry to lift you from the side of the couch onto his lap so you could straddle him.

You squealed at the action but were quickly silenced by Barry’s lips once again upon yours, kissing with a passion more intense than before. His hand still encased your neck and his other hand travelled down your back and below your skirt, gripping your ass from underneath. Your once innocent view of the older man was slowly fading from your memory as this Barry, Barry Berkman, had his tongue in your mouth and his large hands squeezing your behind. He was pushing you ever so slightly against him, grinding you into him. You moved away from the kiss to place your head against his shoulder, moaning quietly. His other hand moved to your back now, holding your body against him and rubbing it comfortingly. His jeans were too thick for him to be feeling as much of this as you were, you thought. He was doing everything for your benefit, for your pleasure.

You sat up for a moment, moving away from him and you saw a flash of panic across his face before he watched you move to mount his thigh, your thighs on either side of his thick one and your core against it. He leaned his head against the back of your lounge, his mouth agape and eyes filled with awe. Your skirt and shirt still on, everything was technically hidden from Barry’s view. However, your face was still on full display, and that was all Barry needed. You began to grind yourself against Barry’s thigh, your hands on his shoulder and his hands on your waist for support. The material of his jeans against you was harsh but provided just enough texture to cause goosebumps to form and travel up your arms.

“You’re so good” Barry said lowly, his voice sounded the huskiest it had ever had. “Such a good girl”.

You picked up your pace at his words of encouragement, moving yourself faster and faster against him. Your eyes never left his as he stared up at you. He occasionally looked down to his thigh which you were upon, swallowing down his arousal at the sight of your own arousal soaking a wet spot through his jeans. It was all so pornographic yet so intimate as he rubbed your sides lovingly. You felt yourself getting closer to your limit, your eyes squeezing shut and breaking your gaze from Barry’s for the first time in minutes.

“I think I’m-“ you whimpered.

Barry tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear, his hand gripping behind your head to pull you towards him and finally kiss you again. You came the minute your lips touched, and he pulled you against his body. You gripped his back, scratching through the shirt and gripping the muscles there. You moaned into his mouth, falling apart against him and he held you protectively. As you came down from your high, you moved to lay your head upon his shoulder, lips grazing his neck as he drew lazily upon your back.

You suddenly perked up from his shoulder and he looked at you, confused by your actions.

“Let me help you” you said, your hand travelling down his chest to the buttons of his jeans. As you moved into a better position to undo his buttons, you noticed a wet patch on the front of his jeans, other than the one you had left upon his thigh.

You looked up at him and noticed he was looking to the side, his fist covering his mouth slightly in what you assumed was embarrassment. “You already-“ you started.

“Yeah, just after you did” he answered, interrupting your question in order to stop you from even asking.

“I didn’t even touch-“ you started again.

“Yeah I know” Barry said, still refusing to meet your gaze.

“That’s so hot” you said smiling and he finally turned his head to look at you, a smile creeping onto his face in response to yours.

“I should go clean-up” he said, promoting you to lift yourself off of him and back onto the lounge beside him. He began to stand up on shakey legs, still physically and mentally recovering from what had just occurred.

As he made his way to your bathroom you called his name, causing him to turn and look at you once again. “Thank you” you said, the horrors of what you had done today were now back behind a flimsy closet door within your mind.

He smiled, nodding before turning around again.

“You shouldn’t have done that Hank… No I don’t care! You call me if you need a hit done, okay? Not her! You do that shit again and I swear to God, you’re a dead man”.

The mans voice woke you up from your slumber. You were laying in your bed, your hand reached out to the spot beside you that was slowly losing its warmth from the body that was once laying there. You smiled at the memories of the night before. Barry had been so caring, laying with you in bed all night and holding you. He always held you so tight. He held you like he wanted to hold you, like he always wanted to hold you. You sat up in your bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you heard him enter your bedroom. He was fully dressed in what he was wearing the night before, however his pants were now clean. His stern expression softened as he caught sight of you, so sweet and peaceful and not yet burdened by the realities of the day.

“Did I wake you up” he asked, moving to sit on the end of your bed. You shuffled toward him on your hands and knees, hugging him from behind and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“No” you mumbled into his neck “Was that Hank?”.

“Uh yeah. You won’t be doing any more jobs like that. I took care of it” he replied.

“Thank you” you said, and left a kiss on his cheek.

He stood up then, his hands in his pockets and looking a bit more confident than he usually did when he was with you. “I have to go” he said. You pouted and he smiled. “But I’d love to take you to dinner tonight, if you’d let me”.

Your pout quickly turned to a grin and you nodded your head.

“Cool” he smiled and began making his way out of your bedroom, looking back at you three times on his way out.

Tag list (I tagged everyone who liked the post, if you dont want to be tagged let me know): @tozierskaspb @thatnerdyaquarius @princess-chocolate-drop @w0nder-marie @whovianayesha @hystaerias @babyravenpuff050 @the-blackblood @godmuffin @ladyr0b0t @hecklleandjyde

#barry berkman x reader #barry berkman imagine #bill hader x reader #bill hader imagine

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lilmajorshawty · 7 years ago

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Can you do a turn ons for the mars in the houses and what they’ll need to climax?!

Mars in the 1st house: Could need their hair pulled or tenderly played with during sex, facial area focused kisses, aggressive and or passionate strokes, they tend to cum quickly so anything that gets to the point, ear kisses, and riding positions I’d also say that the more bold may like more submissive v submissie positions.

To make them climax: the hair and cranium is your best friend-the scalp or anything that stimulates the hair/ears/ temples and lips.

Mars in the 2nd house: Could need the neck, love handles and collar bones tenderly touched or played with during sex, neck kisses and slow-delayed strokes, they take some time to cum and need multiple sources of stimuli on their body and to be incorporated in their surroundings so candles, tv being on in the background and so on. Men and women here similarly to the 8th may need for fallatio or cunnilingus incorporated in the sexual encounter in order to climax.

To make them climax: head is a good way, but so is tantra and foreplay! Involving the senses with food or aromas is another great way, sensual and touching them all across their body during sex in slow lingering ways is like gold for them.

Mars in the 3rd house: Could like their hands, upper arms and shoulders tenderly touched or played with during sex! May be the types to hold your hands in certain positions or pin you down, eye contact and plenty of verbal talk stimulates them and allows their mind to race towards the goal(sorts like a Marco Polo thing) they can like fingering, and may need oral stimulus similar to the 3rd house but they prefer to give it rather than receive it and this goes for men and women with this! They may like to eat you out or eat your ass(I’m not kidding) as it actually makes them get turned on. Fast strokes that can seem to lack direction.

To make them climax: Letting them serve you or do oral is great, be VERY vocal and let them know how and where you like it(they like being led around your body) being a bit hard to get and changing your movements a lot keeps them on edge and can cause them to climax, once more playing with their hands is a biggie.

Mars in the 4th house: Could like their breast or chest being played with! They can be the types to have sex in positions that make a baby so missionary, traditional/vanilla styles of deep penetration positions are their fave, they might be emotional during the act and because of this they need tender responses and for their to be an emotionally sensitive/receptive air to feel their most sexually invited, foreplay and telling them/confessing feelings you have for them or even just whispering them affections comes a long way for them sexually. Sensitive strokes/starting and stopping a lot to ensure you’re comfortable.

To make them climax: Depends on how close y’all are but(baby talk or telling them you want them to cum in you will send them to the mountains for the men) and women may prefer raw or without a condum which is why both men and women here prefer sex with someone they know and trust. Emotional intensity and wanting them can send them into climax.

Mars in the 5th house: Worshiping them, and admiration/body worship, being very vocal about you pleasure and dramatic theatrics, they are the types to be high energy so beating them to the punch in intensity or desire is a hugely erotic thing for them, being submissive depending on the mars in the 5th house native is super sexy to them whilst others prefer someone with a matching fire, having an insatiable desire for them and treating them as if they’re the best sexual experience, touching the upper back and running your fingers down their spine! Running your hands through their hair and anal positions like doggy style and so on. Flamboyant strokes as if they’re preforming.

To make them climax: PRAISE THE SUN 😂 no seriously compliments/moaning/begging and pleading them can really turn them on and cause them to climax.

Mars in the 6th house: Cleanliness(I know everyone says it but seriously) a reserved nature towards the act, innocence and being a bit initially slow burn, being eager to please them/serve them, being submissive and or not so forceful with them and letting them take the ropes! Unlike mars in Virgo they’re dominant in nature and prefer the leading role. Foreplay and tenderly touching their belly and lower groin area(just above the privates) dressing up or fantasy play, they prefer vocal lovers since it lets them know they’re doing something right but as I said they can be a bit shy themselves so by vocal I mean in a turned on way not theatrical like the 5th. Systematic strokes with a sort of critical flavor to them as if they’re trying to hit it at the perfect spot

To make them climax: ORAL ORAL ORAL. They climax better in anal positions as the 6th house is…as they say anal retentive lmao. But yes any position in which they’re able to do it in the back they love and cum the quickest with men and women. They might need a bit of coaxing as they can suffer from self doubt so ensure that they know you’re enjoying the experience otherwise you’ll have to start from scratch.

Mars in the 7th house: Stimulation of the ass region and also the lower to mid thighs during sex, sensual/aggressive passion sexually maybe a mixture of harsh but soft touches, riding positions like the reverse cowgirl or anything that has you bouncing on them, they really love butts and this is the house of partnership so if this is a long term thing they really love you’re booty and will probably grab it a whole lot and spank during sex or want to be spanked and grabed, they could need a lot of stimulation in these areas so sex may really involve penetration and sensual touches, they tend to like intimacy and eyes contact so they’ll likely want positions where that is possible to some extent. Ardent and loving strokes you’ll feel the love.

To make them climax: They tend to link up to your own desire since mars becomes Kinda psychic here so they could climax the moment you do, they’ll likely be pretty good at making you climax though, I can’t stress enough for men and women here touch their booties they will most likely climax from that itself if done the right way and consistently through the act.

Mars in the 8th house: Like previously mentioned fallatio and cunnilingas are your best friends, they actually prefer to receive head rather than give it out in some cases but it’s not a selfish thing it’s just the 8th house rules the genitalia and mars being here really emphasizes on these natives sensitivity here, intense but slow strokes! Seduction and teasing throughout the sexual experience are big, like Aries foreplay isn’t a biggie here but the women may like to entice, deep penetration and paying attention to the crotch region and even the neck to some extent can be big areas of turn ons

To make them climax: Oral helps but really they’re unpredictable I won’t lie, sometimes it can be penetration in some angles or speeds whilst other times it’s just whenever they’re finally ready to stop I do know eye contact maintained can really quicken how quickly they cum.

Mars in the 9th house: Playing with their lower thighs and to some extent fingering as a means of warming them up, doing it out side or somewhere you shouldn’t be, being sexually aggressive or forward(with their consent of course) they’re not the types for foreplay but being experimental or incorporating new ways of doing things whilst in the moment can be a turn on, stroking in fun but romantic ways is their thing but most like intense strokes.

To make them climax: Men and women here can either be well endowed or just have a desire to be deeply penetrated so enough of this should usually do it!

Mars in the 10th house: The knees, the area nearest the diaphragm and pelvis tend to be key areas to focus on, they may enjoy a certain level of gentleness or submission from their partners, being allowed to go Wild is a huge turn on-they’re the types to feel you out sexually and see what you can handle before showing their more controlling and dominant side sexually, may need to be in a place of comfort or in a public place as a means to rebel, can enjoy teasing and sexual build up as it makes them climax harder, they tend to prefer traditional positions but that being said their strokes are often heavy and can take the wind out of you literally.

To make them climax: Work hard! They take a really really long time to climax and in some cases they end up having to masterbate in order to finish, but in the case you did want to take on the journey a good way to aid the process is building up your own stamina as they tend to be able to go hours on end before climaxing.

Mars in the 11th house: They’re around pretty quick but it depends on what the sign mars is in for how and what causes the fast arousal, quick strokes with an erratic moment, rubbing along their ankles with your feet or toes can be a turn on, semi detached positions or constant position switching can be a biggie, sex Toys and seeming out of reach in a way sexually turns them on as well, being open and ardent but not overly grounded helps, there is a big desire for them not to understand their sexual partner.

To make them climax: Be hard to read, they like intensity without the actual presence so blending a ON/OFF sort of sexual energy during the act will likely make them insatiable and climax.

Mars in the 12th house: This is the last house so all of the above tend to stimulate them! They prefer receptivity and tenderness though and can easily get turned off by overly aggressive or overly detached sexual energies so if they feel like you’re not really paying attention to their feelings or being receptive to the energy they’re sending out during sex they’ll likely stop or leave(I’m not kidding and if they don’t leave they’ll just check out emotionally) usually the type to enjoy softness and aggression(although not to much) from the other person. Touch foreplay and lots of body touching, emotional warmth and sincerity as well as having a emotional connection, slow rhythmic strokes as if music is playing in the background and in most cases it will be.

To make them climax: Treat them tenderly and cautiously the more they know you’re matching their energy and vibe with each stroke and touch the more they’ll be able to include their actual body into the act leading up to them climaxing.

Hope this helps love. ♥️

#ask #mars

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lilquill · 7 years ago

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Writeblr Drama Time! :)

Imagine being a gigantic writeblr, so big that you unironically write self-aggrandizing posts about how you’re a “writeblr myth” in the third person, and then falling apart at the seams the moment someone questions your intentions when you vague about wanting “nasty” writeblrs to leave the website.

And then imagine blaming someone who politely asks you to clarify your intentions, and responding in an absolutely astounding show of volatile fragility, tagging people and DEMANDING they explain themselves to you for all your followers to send vile nonsense aiming to shut down discussions and anything that dares question your perspective and why you have it.

And, beyond that, imagine painting innocent people trying to have a discussion as villainous attackers based on polite reblogs of their post made in good faith, while in the same breath absolving yourself of the behavior of the people acting on your behalf. And then, of course, going on to deliberately misinterpret a common colloquial meaning of the word “nasty” in order to build a shoddy defense.

Imagine sticking your nose into useless, pointless drama in the first place, getting some digs in at someone explaining the connotations of words in different languages by ganging up on them with a WHITE GIRL named INDIA (by the way, India, if you’re reading this, hello from a real actual Indian person! You can see why it’s important to clarify meanings of things in different contexts, don’t you?), thereby either deliberately misinterpreting someone to paint them as a villain and burn them at the stake or blindly attacking someone you don’t like, neither of which are good looks. And, not only that, but stirring up the drama again months later in a vagueblog implying you want them (and everyone who agreed with them) driven off writeblr!

I’ve seen you do this a few times in the past. Remember that time someone politely criticized your self-congratulatory post about how you included gay characters because you had magic in your story, and how they took issue with how your phrasing seemed to imply that they couldn’t exist in a world without magic? You ganged up on them with your Big Writeblr Friends in an INCREDIBLE display of homophobia and lack of self-awareness. You painted yourself as a victim of a smear campaign based on a polite discussion that questioned you.

This performative self-victimizing, painting anything that doesn’t completely bend to your will and prop up a version of events that paints you in anything other than good light. The intentions of this kind of behavior are never good. You want to shut down conversation and self-reflection with a villain/victim dynamic so that people will rush to your aid. Maybe think harder about yourself and your behavior. Writeblr doesn’t become a safe, positive environment if we demonize people for being critical of things that deserve criticism. In fact, it rots instead, as you let things fester in the dark with catty, two-faced behavior instead of being honest and open, shutting doors and living in the musty dark instead of airing things out and actually learning. People have tried being kind and polite to you, and you blew up at them. Perhaps this strategy will work instead.

And, before I get blocked in yet another fit of the exact phenomenon I’ve described, I’ll get one last thing in. Honey sweetie darling baby @boothewriter (is that enough coddling for you?), your wip about reverse harem kpop greek gods starring a white girl or whatever is honestly super weird and fetishistic and racist. Please rethink, like, literally everything about that wip. Like, I thought that maybe the pictures on there were just the default from the theme page you used, but….no, you picked them! I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I really did, honest. But maybe, like, DON’T write that lmao.

But since we all know you’ll just throw another fit when you see this, have fun martyring yourself as the pure lily-white innocent victim of a situation that you created entirely by your own fault. You want a eulogy that weeps over you as you, commemorates you as some sort of writeblr god with your 3000 followers or whatever as you leave Tumblr? Take this L instead.

Screenshots (with links) below the cut, because I know some nimrods will read this and ignore everything I say.

HILARIOUS third-person post:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/175158809961/boo-is-the-writeblr-community-myth-if-youre-good

Boo’s original post that sparked this whole thing:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/180803228551/tumblr-banning-explicit-content-lots-of-people

Polite response to that post:

Link: http://gingerly-writing.tumblr.com/post/180876218231/boothewriter-tumblr-banning-explicit-content

Boo’s fragile meltdown response:

Also see:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/180801111071

Boo getting herself into that drama that that white girl named India getting mad at a person who literally speaks Russian politely explaining the connotation of a certain word that means “mermaid” stirred up:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/178551594421/cant-believe-people-are-calling-out-writers-for

Boo’s humblebrag about including gay characters (ft. that white chick named India again!):

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/170196861536/theinkstainsblog-boothewriter-ive-been

Boo and her Big Writeblr Pals™ ganging up on a gay person critically examining the homophobic wording of the post above:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/post/170247458436/i-dont-think-you-meant-it-like-this-but-the

Her AMAZING character page:

Link: https://boothewriter.tumblr.com/gomm-chara

#i am probably gonna get some sort of outpouring of white fragility for this #but #i said what i said #writeblr drama #writeblr #boothewriter

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athyrabunlord · 7 years ago

Text

About LLSHP AU (Afterword)

[Brief note about School Term] [other LLSHP AU stuff] [YohaMaRuby concept arts] [ChikaYouRiko concept arts] [KanaDiaMari concept arts] [Hogwarts Staff]

[FFN link] [Pixiv Link] [Translated to Chinese by plin2290]

I’m just so pleased and happy to have made it! I have so many existing incomplete stories that it’s astounding for me to actually complete a multi-chapter story. Once again, I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU!! to my readers for staying with me to the end, providing me feedback and expressing interest, motivating and inspiring me enough to reach this point.

The following is really just about my rambling, about my thoughts, about the planning process and my decisions, so do keep reading if you’re interested in the makings of this story. I just feel like sharing (aka: blah blah blah) since, again, I actually friggin completed a story omg (´；Д；｀)

===================

First of all, let’s go way back to near the end of October 2016, not long after LLS Season 1 ended. Yes this is so long ago lmao. After drawing several canon-related fanarts and writing short blips to satiate my thirst, I decided to create a complete whole AU so I can fantasize more XD I ended up picking the Harry Potter verse because, come on, it’s always fun trying to Sort your favorite characters and think about their abilities and whatnot.

Ideas started to whirl and initial sketches began. There’s an old post explaining why I Sort the girls into their respective Houses. That’s also when extra details were pondered over, the why and the pros in doing so. You should know by this point that I’m a complete useless 3rd Years trash, but as I brainstorm more, I realize that their story is more suitable to be a prequel, something that supplements a main story. And so, what should the main story be about? What kind of story do I want to present? Who would be the perfect main character/narrator for this?

Yoshiko. In canon, she’s already associated with (black) magic and, as a First-Year and Muggleborn, she would be perfect for a reader to immerse into this fascinating new world of magic through her perspective. As an old post says, I fudged up the School Term and age during the initial stage and didn’t realize until everything’s all finalized, that’s why I had to keep it as it is XD;;;;

Anyway, at this point, I’ve already decided Yoshiko to be a Horcrux, with the antagonist of this story to be Yohane, and how the last few chapters are going to play out. Everything else, even the other characters’ backgrounds are all further elaborated and refined based off of this central plot. On a side note, how sexy is Aikyan’s solo in the 3rd Live, I mean, the white and black wing I could only think about Yoshiko/Yohane DX

Ahem, I’ve always found Yoshiko’s character fascinating, that there’s a Yohane side of her even though, really, she’s Yoshiko (a good girl). The Chamber of Secrets and the Half-Blood Prince are the main source of inspiration for this particular idea, but of course HP fans might notice many elements from the original story used or modified in my story. I’m also a strong believer that the Patronus Charm can do more than just warding off Dementors or Lethifolds (and Obscurus), hence its significance in this story, especially later chapters.

Therefore, each girl’s Patronus was tentatively decided at this early stage, with 1 or 2 possibilities. After this, I then thought of what ships should this story present. As much as I did not want romance/ships be The Major Point, I have to acknowledge that ships are what people go for in a story, myself included. I understand shipping might turn people away from even trying a story, that’s why I kept it secret for the first few chapters before confirming it on tumblr (where the chapters were first uploaded). I was just testing the waters, to see if people are interested in the story enough to keep reading even if the ships aren’t their preferences.

Back to planning stage - as a multi-shipper, I did not want to set in stone right off the bat what the ships are either. And thus I continued expanding on ideas and see where things would go, keeping most of the initial interactions and important moments intact. This is why there are times it might seem there are multiple pairings even though nothing was specified (cough wee kanadia, youriko etc (｡･ ω<)ゞてへぺろ♡). Not to mention, as the main character, Yoshiko will always have moments with each of the 8 girls. I remember joking in an old post that, if this were a gal-game, there are various routes to this story, from the default path to those you have to unlock via certain conditions XDDD

Naturally, members of the 1st-year trio and Guilty Kiss get more screen time with Yoshiko. Then, as a fellow Slytherin and part of the tsurime trio, Dia does too. Not to mention Season1’s anime ED shows You & Angel together, You gets special moments too. Chika is Aqours’ leader who first accepted Yoshiko into the group as datenshi, so I tried to show that as much as I could given the circumstances in the story. And so, this leaves poor orca on the side lol. But yeah, YoshiMaru, YoshiRiko, YoshiRuby, so many possibilities! However, as more details get finalized, such as Yoshiko’s childhood, her Shiira-KANSU! Patronus and about the Augurey, YoshiMaru just happened. Things seem to click into place with their love as the focal point and I was able to keep expanding the story. First puppy love, innocent and pure. A dream that grew to become reality. Could other ships have worked? Yes, but then that would’ve given this story a different direction and it wouldn’t have been LLSHP AU – Yoshiko Tsushima and the Fallen Angel anymore. As I developed YoshiMaru more and more, I was very satisfied with my choice.

On a side note, I confirm Yoshiko did have a crush on You at first (and Hanamaru had a crush on Kanan) xD it’s mostly just physical attraction in a “the-senpai-I-admire” kind of way, and it soon morphs to strong friendship as this story progresses. I don’t know if this was obvious at all but that’s why these two girls always have a soft spot for Gryffindor Baka#2 and Baka #3 xD!!!

On the other hand, I was not expecting DiaRiko to form. Yes, it was my guilty ship but I didn’t intend for them to be a couple in this story, just close friends/confidantes. In canon, they’re already the straight man of their respective year trios (most of the time anyway, I’m looking at you ponkotsu penguin). Yet, given their respective pasts and personalities, they became intimately close and found solace with each other, and that kind of relationship is what I tried to show to the readers, especially through the Carbonado Interlude. They’re not predestined to fall in love but they did and found happiness. Out of the four ships, I was most worried about DiaRiko since it’s a rareship unlike the other three. That’s why I keep saying how pleased I am that it ended up being well-received by fans ;;A;;

ChikaYou came to be as I finalize the 2ndYears’ background and Riko’s part, while KanaMari’s story is set aside for the prequel and thus not given much spotlight in the main story (and also due POV effect). In spite of how much I adore ChikaYou, it’s also not shown much because of what happened in the story but also because I wanted to present their dynamic as a duo and CYR bond with Ruby (since that’s how Yoshiko perceives them most of the time anyway).

Ruby, my widdle cinnamon roll baby, is left unpaired for a reason. I want to show that platonic/friendship love is just as wonderful and powerful. There’s a saying ‘lovers come and go, but friends are for life’, and that’s exactly what Yoshiko and Hanamaru meant for Ruby, and vice versa. Now, while I’m on this, I have a confession about Ruby’s fate. After the concept arts were drawn and uploaded, I was finalizing the details of the three Arcs before I toss the first chapter onto tumblr. The end of ch19 is definitely one of the biggest climax of the story - Ruby ended up being Yohane’s target instead of Dia. Originally, uh, yeah, Ruby is supposed to die because her wounds were too much. Regular healing spells do not work on sectumsempra, only a special counter-Curse could reverse the effects. I tried very hard to find a way around it to save her. I don’t want my baby to die, any of them really, and she still have so much ahead of her. Fortunately, I was able to save her through Yoshiko/Yohane which, in turn, saved this raven-haired girl as well. I was able to continue working backwards on finalizing the Arcs and individual chapters with a peaceful state of mind.

‘Yoshiko’, as in the one who’s been narrating the story from ch1-20, still died in a way, but at least I was able to change the story from Bad End to True End (?). True End is the ch21 I uploaded. Bad End route would have Ruby dead, Yoshiko gone and ch21 would turn out completely different. A Happy End would be Yoshiko the Narrator miraculously alive and the others not having scars or still recovering, but I just find that too unrealistic. I’ve minimized the, uh, damage enough as it is, given the circumstances. J.K. Rowling did go on a killing spree in Book7 but come on, with a psychotic maniac like Voldemort and all those magical spells, you can easily kill people. You don’t need Avada Kedavra to kill someone, a sudden Diffindo or Reducto is enough. I’ve chosen my sacrifice and one is too many already. And speaking of sacrifice, let me talk a bit about Riko and why she was the ‘first victim’. Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare. Even though this story was outlined even before the First Live, this song already stands out to me from the anime, a song where the 8 of them sang in Riko’s absence but her spirit is still with them. And so, I sort of portrayed that the way it is in this story. Even though Riko didn’t get any lines from ch12 onward until ch20, her role remains significant and is the pivotal point for the remainder of Arc2 and Arc3. In terms of the plot, I’ve followed my outline quite closely. All the core points remained unchanged as I write out the chapters, though how I write a chapter (ie the wording, the extra little details, and actual professor dialogues instead of just narration) did change as I go along, influenced by more of the official content. Facts about characters that are only revealed in Season2 or other media such as SIF etc were not incorporated into this story (for example, Kanan being afraid of ghosts and height). As I mentioned in an older post about wands, I would have chosen phoenix feather for Ruby’s wand core had I known about the Duo-Trio results. The Kazuno sisters would have been incorporated into the story alas, back then, very little was known about Saint Snow in Season1 of the anime. Yes… season2 was finished and, like, a total of 15 live performances have happened between the creation and the completion of this story LOL Back to the plot. Seven is said to be a magical number in the HP verse and that’s why each Arc has 7 chapters. Arc 1 is the Intro, Arc 2 is the turning point, Arc 3 is the climax and the resolution. Sounds easy and straightforward so I thought I would’ve finished the story within a year. Well. It ended up almost taking two years lmao. Obligations IRL aside, new ideas, more AUs, more fanarts etc also make sticking to the update schedule difficult. It’s the worst when it comes to writer’s block – you have the outlines, you know what’s supposed to happen in a chapter, yet the words just aren’t flowing and you’re stuck. Thankfully, with you lovely readers giving the feedback and encouragement I need, I made it over each bump on the road to get to the finale. Hanamaru wrote most of this story, yes. Each chapter titles with exception of Ruby’s interlude and ch18-19 also showed up in ch21. The title of the ‘book’ is supposed to be revealed in the Epilogue but, since I had to upload it onto Fanfiction.Net, I can’t just call it LLSHP AU so I had to reveal “Yoshiko Tsushima and the Fallen Angel” right away. Back then I called this a temporary title because I did think about giving this story an alternate title, since she didn’t write the interludes, ch21 and the epilogue. However, at the end of the day, this still suits the story best. After all, the individual titles for ch21 and the epilogue make up the story’s title.

“Yoshiko has always known that she isn't normal like everyone else. Surely, she would master everything about magic at Hogwarts, and become the amazing fallen angel she's meant to be. Little did she know, her school year would be more than eventful as she makes great friends, uncovers secrets, and learns what it truly means to be Yohane.” - this is the summary I put on Fanfiction.Net. It speaks from both Yoshiko the Narrator’s perspective, and Yoshiko from the Epilogue’s perspective. It probably sounds confusing but I hope you understand what I mean. So, what’s next? I’ve invested a lot in this world of LLSHP AU already and there are still so many more possibilities, especially with the rather open ending both ch21 and the epilogue presents, so I’m definitely not done with this AU! Since I have the memory of a goldfish, I don’t know if I’ve already mentioned this but the prequel will be told mostly in Mari’s POV. It will have occasional Dia and Kanan POVs too (because I’m a shameless 3yrs-oshi and writer privilege); Rather than taking forever to write and cramping the scenes into a massive interlude chapters, I’ve decided to split it in shorter chapters - this will roughly be a 12-part story that took place before the main story, showcasing segments of the kanadiamari’s first 3 years at Hogwarts.

This prequel is… relatively normal and lighter compared to the main story, meaning it’s more school-oriented and more slice-of-life episodes for the most part (at least, that’s the outline), and much more Professor cameos. There will be more N-card girls to be showcased as well, such as kanadiamari’s Housemates and Quidditch teammates. Overall, it’ll be shiny °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° There will not be a full sequel to the main story. Instead, there will be blips/drabbles about events that happen after the main story, as teased in the Epilogue - the TriWizard Tournament for one XD And, unlike the main story, the ideas for blips in this sequel-timeline are more vague, so I’ll be able to incorporate new content into it (as in, from official content 2017 onward such as proper characterization of Saint Snow).

There are plans for omake/filler fun blips as well - little incidents that happened throughout the main story or, rather, ‘excerpts’ that Hanamaru wrote but didn’t make it to the final version of her book. The first Halloween, more scenes with the Professors, birthdays and so on.

There are also plans for character-exclusive blips as well, similar to an Interlude. For example, DiaRiko’s ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) cough cough.

My tentative plan is to keep going with the prequel, and maybe every few chapter or so I’d write a sequel-timeline blip. I’ll see how my muse and inspiration is in the future, I’m already extremely satisfied that I finished the main story XD And I do want to work on some of my other existing AUs (ie Animus AU and Mafia AU just because I’ve already invested time in creating the concept arts and so I don’t want them to sink into oblivion…) or who knows, there might be new AUs. I mean, pretty much every new SIF set is enough to inspire a brand new AU please allow me a moment to giggle like the trash I am over the DiaRiko UR set *pterodactyl screech*

AHEM. Another thing is illustration/artworks. Since most of my time was spent on writing, there are much fewer artworks than I would’ve liked for this story. I think I mentioned this somewhere that I’d love to have an individual cover art for each chapter alas, no time at all DX I’d like to have at least one illustration per chapter too but OTL I can only pick one and so for this AU I chose writing over drawing. Cry.

Anyway, I’ve rambled long enough and I think I’ve talked about everything I want to get off my chest. If you have any questions/feedback, go ahead and fire’em at me, since I’m now able to answer anything without fear of spoilers now XD (unless your question is about the prequel or things that happen in the sequel-timeline)

Thanks for reading the whole thing and, ofc, staying with me until the end of this story!

#LLSHP AU #athyra rambles #really just athyra blabbering #this thing is almost 3k #at least it's shorter than the Patronus Ramble lmao #but yeah I think that's everything #all that's left are the fun times with the prequel and blips #makings-of #I feel accomplished to have come this far #it really has been an amazing journey #yeah I think that's everything I want to say #it's not like this is the end-end...#prequel and other stuff

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