#and of course does videos on neat mods that make me remember I set up a whole arcade in this save that I barely use XD

[victorluvsalice]

-->And then it was Victor and Smiler date time at the Freezer Bunny Arcade in Newcrest! Haven’t been here in a while (I think Smiler was still living in Britechester the first time they and Victor visited), but the arcade was on my mind after watching onlyabidoang’s “Functional Objects” video featuring all the arcade stuff Cepzid created. It was raining when they arrived (and soon ramped up to a major thunderstorm -- great dating weather!), so I sent them inside into the cafe area at the back right away. They sat and chatted for a while, with Smiler telling Victor an engaging story for his entertainment --

As some random sat down at their table with his coffee. *grumble* Fortunately, he didn’t try to join their conversation, and I was able to get the pair to move to another table once Victor ordered some pain au chocolat from the barista (which went a LOT fucking smoother than it did at the other cafe – Steampunk Cafe LOOKS nice, but it doesn’t play very well, unfortunately). They continued having a very pleasant, occasionally flirty chat, sharing the spirit of the day and officially developing a “Close” family dynamic, awww. :) Randos did keep coming to sit at their table, but again, nobody actually tried to TALK to them – they just let the pair get on with their date. Sheesh, wonder why everyone kept bothering Victor and Alice...

-->Anyway – Victor finished his snack, then donated some plasma to Smiler so they could have a snack before grabbing some sleep replacement potion from the aspiration rewards store so he didn't pass out from blood loss on their date. Smiler wandered over to the skeeball machines while Victor found a table to drink his potion --

And ended up next to, of all people, JOAQUIN, who’d showed up here too. >( Fortunately I was able to keep him from trying to talk to Victor, allowing Victor to Energy himself up and join Smiler at skeeball. They both completed a level one game and ended up winning a child’s toy apiece. XD Smiler then went over to the pinball machines and had a good game there, while Victor played some Whack-A-Gnome poorly. I had him go get a gumball to make himself feel better after that (and after seeing Joaquin) –

[cakhost]

Click the "keep reading" if you want the long version on why I deleted several of my discord entries:

What lead me to doing a deletion was one big ball of RSD events that just cascaded into too many feels for me to manage and deleting/purging nearly all my posts minus the ones in https://discord.com/channels/288920509272555520/681637456331669669 seemed like the only way to make the pain finally stop. Getting to my posts around 6/11 quickly made me reconsider my decisions because my autism can't handle itself, which is neat but a bizarre thought to be met with. So that plus me starting to calm down was what eventually allowed me to stop deleting my posts; though not before my brain set a goal of at least getting rid of all of June's posts at the time, which was dumb but it also made my brain happy. Brains are dumb. -n-

And I guess that ball-o-RSD also made me realize that I unfortunately have trauma mixed in when I have RSD! I don't want to go back to when I was in denial of my autism but I kinda wish it will stop with the Everything for a second. >n<

And also made me realize I gave the keys to the LRRord to someone who I'm terrified of and would very, very like to put some distance between myself and them as much as possible. Now the chance of said scary person actually doing anything to me though LRRord is unrealistic, if we ignore how much fear loves to ignore logic for a chance. It does make me uncomfortable if that person is lurking and possibly reading my posts on here, gathering intel to use to try and further manipulate me. Of course, I am aware of them trying to manipulate me now so the chance of them being able to do that is slim. But the damage has been done and I have unintentionally made LRRord unsafe for me a tiny bit. :c

What changes does this mean from me on this? I'm not going to go to a lurker-only. I'm going to respect the mods because hey, I know now that my wall-o-texts can get pretty bad. So if I catch myself doing one, I'll do something similar to this post: make the main of it on my tumblr and then post a link to that tumblr post back to discord, hopefully remembering a brief description on what the tumblr post will be on. I'll get some practice on this with the posts I have deleted because I didn't back up any of those and while I remember some of what I posted, I don't remember everything so maybe something will fall through the cracks.

I will cut back on being personal, mostly stick to video game games maybe touching on different posts as the mood strike me.

For what it is worth, I am sorry for doing the deletion at all. I sort of was getting in my own head on how that might look to outsiders and how that might suck seeing me get rid of what I did. Maybe I really should invest in a burrito blanket so if I do have any more RSD episodes I can just "Go to your burrito" myself and that will stop me from doing this again. I hope.

Thank you for your time! Have a great time and stay safe! Xxx