#and ofc joe is mad bc he has work in the morning and needs sleep
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I hate deeling so stupid for something I cant control
#there was a spider on me and i froze up and then flipped out and now i cant dind it#i had joe come to kill it but its gone now and im not sure if it was a hallucinations or not#my hallucination spiders dont usually look like that and arent usually on me#but i have no way of knowing if it was real and idk where it went and now im just terrified#and ofc joe is mad bc he has work in the morning and needs sleep#but i wont feel better until i either see a dead spider or i can get myself to belief it wasnt real#which again im not sure bc it was different from my usual hallucinations#amd tberes like a million places where it could be hiding if it wxists at all#for all i know it wasnt even a spider it couls have been a bug or something i dont know but it freaked me put#and theres no way im getting to sleep any time soon now i cant stop crying#i thought i had mayeb trapped it under my phone (it was on my hand when i saw it)#but its not there. no body or anything#its at least not in my comfort object where i was scared it was#i wish i could just kill them but i cant i just freak out and jump. i might have thrown the fucking thing#IF ITS EVEN REAL AND I HAVE NO WAY TO KNOW UNLESS IT SHOWS UP AGAIN#my spider hallucinations are usually only as im waking up though which is another thing
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