#and shoutout to poubelle-squelette for guessing y/sbpayw and y/sbpbyw

[neroli9]

APJFM Discord Prompt: y/m

So, on the APJFM discord server (which I'd like to remind you all is amazing, come join us), the general consensus among right-thinking individuals is that the use of y/n in fanfics, along with other variables like y/hc (hair color) or y/ec (eye color) takes us right out of the fic, rather than immersing us further in it. Which led to @peonylanterns​ putting this in #prompts:

Bad fanfiction featuring y/n as the main subject

Please enjoy my mildly NSFW contribution, with a generic Sans/Reader (that is, not APJFM Sans/Reader).

y/m 

Your heart pounds as Sans gazes at you. You can barely believe it, but you're in bed with him, you're naked, and you're finally going to spend the night with him! You rest your head against his sternum, and he cradles it in his arms, pressing his mouth to your forehead. "this is all i've ever wanted, y/n.* are you ready for this?" * your name

"Oh yes," you breathe. "I’m tired of all these pun battles as proxies for expressing our unresolved sexual tension. Sans, I'm more than ready."

He chuckles as he smooths his hand over y/hc* hair. "well, then, let's make this a night to remember. did i ever tell you how much i love your hair?" * your hair color

"No, never..."

"so you had no idea i get turned on just by looking at it?"

You feel your cheeks start to get hot. "Really?"

"god yeah. everything 'bout it is perfect.”

You slide your hand underneath his shirt, feeling the ridges on his spine. “Tell me more...”

“i remember the first time i saw ya. i couldn’t stop watching that pretty human with the y/hl* hair." * your hair length

"I thought you were suspicious of me!”

He chuckles awkwardly. "yeah, uh, i kinda was. i was suspicious of why i was so taken with ya. an’ what i decided was, either we'd met in a different timeline or i liked your hair." He strokes it fondly. "i thought it was cute, how y/ht* it was. how it looked so perfect with your y/sc** skin. how the light hit it and played up the y/hhc *** highlights. i liked seeing it brush against your y/bptbteoyhuyhrshoybiwcistbtispdtws.****” * your hair texture ** your skin color *** your hair highlight color **** your body part touched by the ends of your hair, unless you have really short hair or you’re bald in which case I’m sorry to break the immersion so please disregard this whole section

"I never would have guessed any of that... When I first knew you I didn’t think you were even attracted to humans."

"yeah, well. the whole time you were thinking that, i was probably fantasizing ‘bout doing this—" He runs his fingers through your hair. "or maybe this—" He pulls you to him and buries his face in your hair, breathing deeply.

You moan and your hand slips down to his pelvis, caressing it. "Does this feel good?" you whisper as he nuzzles you.

"fuck, it's everything i've dreamed it would be," he growls. "just keep -- oh fuck ME -- just keep doing whatever you're doing, sweetheart."

Delirious with arousal and joy, you would never dream of doing anything else.

"you look so beautiful like this," he continues, running his hand over your jaw. "i just can't get enough of looking into your y/ec* eyes. i love the way you look when you smile, and your beautiful y/cff**." *your eye color ** your cutest facial feature

You beam at him. "You really think I'm as pretty as all that?"

"of course i do. god, the hours i've spent daydreaming about your y/sbpayw*  and your y/sbpbyw**..." * your sexiest body part above your waist ** your sexiest body part below your waist

You hit him with your best seductive look. "They're all yours now."

He takes them, and he takes you. It's all you'd dreamed it would be.

-------

The two of you are sprawled out in bed, entirely spent. He's lying on his back, his arm resting over his eye sockets and a blissed-out smile on his face. You prop yourself up on one arm, admiring him.

He turns his head to look at you with half-lidded eyes. "think i knocked you up yet?"

"Uh... I should have asked, is that a thing? With monsters and humans, I mean?"

"dunno, guess we'll find out."

You sit up, suddenly alarmed. "Are you teasing me?"

"maybe it'll be twins. we'll name them y/fbn*  and y/mmn.**" * your favorite baby name ** your mother's maiden name

"Wait... How did you --"

"an' until then, we can try new things in bed. i know all about how you're into y/ftsp* an' y/mwhaek**." * your favorite taboo sexual practice ** your most well hidden and embarrassing kink

You pull the covers up over your chest, hugging yourself. "Sans, what the fuck?!" Has he been spying on you? Did he check your AO3 browsing history and see that you privately bookmarked y/fswsbacos?* * your favorite story with sans being a creepy obsessive stalker

"told you. you're all i've ever wanted. and now..." He pulls you back down and holds your shaking body to his. "now y/m.*" * you're mine.