#and then Ed can angst about still not bringing his sibling back right

[jimblejamblewritings]

romeo and...cullen? | part 1.

Summary: Y/N Cullen, youngest in both actual age and last to be turned in the Cullen clan. Her world is turned upside down when Bella Swan enters her family’s life, because Bella doesn’t bring just herself but drags some of her friends into the Cullen’s life as well.

Warnings for the Series: light violence, light angst, light smut 

Pairing: Jacob Black x reader

Word Count: 2.0k

(Series Masterlist) 

“Someone tell me again why I can’t move up and be in junior year with Ed, Alice and Jas?” you yelled from the balcony of your room.

The yelling wasn’t necessary. They could all hear you from my balcony if you were at a normal speaking level the same way you could hear them if they were to speak at a normal level.

You were already dressed for school minus makeup, hair and shoes. You walked casually to your bathroom and opened up the various drawers to get your supplies. Your amber eyes looked extra gold this morning, evidence of last night’s family hunt, the black wings from the liner making them even more gold. You pulled the latest lipstick you bought from the store and swatched it on the back of your hand, grimacing as you looked at the ugly shade of pink against your skin.

Not that funny, Ed. you thought as Edward’s laughter could be heard from across the hall in his room. He was laughing louder on purpose just so you would be sure to hear it.

You wiped the lipstick off of your hand and picked up a different shade. You figured you’d just give the pink to Alice, everything looked good on her skin. Racing down the stairs at vamp speed, you went straight to the refrigerator. You hummed contently to yourself while looking in the fridge. Esme had stocked up on food and even made some biscuits. You warmed up two biscuits and after spreading butter on them sat down at the kitchen island.

“Ugh, (Y/F/N), how can you eat that stuff?”

“You know Rose, we were all human at one point. I seem to remember you liking this stuff,” you said, waving around a piece of biscuit. You set the food down and picked up the cup of blood, putting the straw to your lips.

“Still, it tastes like shit now.”

You shrugged. Something felt like you should eat. Blood was just needed for basic body functions, a single cup in the morning was probably enough to survive. Food was what really got you going for energy and even strength. Carlisle thinks it has something to do with how you were bitten. You, personally, don’t care enough to figure out why.

“It’s cause baby Cullen’s a weird one.” Emmett ruffled your hair as he spoke. “And you’re a sophomore because you look like one, you were turned at sixteen. Deal with it. Besides, now we get to stay here a little bit longer.”

“Hands off the curls, bro.”

You pushed his hand away. You already knew that being younger was a benefit for the whole family but it was still annoying. Senior year and you’d be without your siblings.

“Alright, I’ll catch you all at school. Dad asked me to drop off these files to Chief Swan.”

“Chief Swan? What does he want from Carlisle?” Emmett asked downing the leftover blood in the cup.

“Files. Something to do with the animal attacks around Washington, they’re coming closer to Forks you know. I think Carlisle’s been looking at the bodies. I’ll catch you at school, which I will be late for if I don’t drop off the files now.”

You pulled up to the Swan’s residence to see a beat-up, burnt orange truck.

“Hey Chief, I didn’t know you got a new car,” You said, getting out of your Mercedes convertible, the top down on this oddly clear Forks’ day. Your nose scrunched a little at the slight hint of wet-dog smell.

“Hey, (Y/F/N). This ride’s not mine, it’s for…”

“It’s uh, my ride.” A pale girl got out of the driver’s seat.

“Right! They’ve been talking about the chief’s daughter coming back to town. Isabella, right?” you extended a hand.

“Just Bella.”

“Bella, got it. Then call me just (Y/N)… and you would be?” you turned your attention to a tan boy standing slightly awkwardly to the side.

“Jacob, Jacob Black.”

“Nice to meet you, Jacob.”

You ignored the glare you could feel from a man in a wheelchair who you could only assume was Jacob’s father. Black. You knew that name well. The faint wet dog was definitely coming off the old man and his chair.

“Well, I’m just here to drop off these,” you said, handing Charlie the files.

“Good, the station will be pleased to see these. One step closer to figuring things out. Tell your dad I said thanks.”

“Will do Chief Swan. You need a ride to school, Bella?”

“I don’t start till tomorrow.”

“Alright, then. Swans, Blacks. I wish you a good day, I’m off to class.”

“Need a pass?”

“From the chief of police? Anything to get out of study hall, thanks Chief.” You waited for him to write up a letter for the office and then sped away to Forks High School.

~~

“I call shotgun!” you sped downstairs as fast as you could.

“Too late,” Jasper said smugly as he closed the passenger door to Emmett’s Jeep.

“Whatever, I’ll just ride with Edward,” you muttered, slinking over to the silver Passat.

“Am I that bad, (Y/N)?”

“No, you just drive reckless.”

Edward smirked as he drove out the garage and onto the main road. The drive was quiet. When it’s Edward and you, it’s always quiet. People wouldn’t think you two were the closest in the house based on first glance but the two of y’all just existed in the silence.

He reminded you so much of your actual older brother, it was scary how alike they could be in personality. He knows that and you were pretty sure that’s why Ed stuck so close.

Edward and you walked with Alice to your first class of AP English. The most the Cullens could swing was getting you into a few advanced classes with the juniors but you were still a sophomore. English went the same as it always does. Mr. Varner’s teaching style never changed.

Lunch rolled around and you met up with the rest of your siblings outside, ready to walk into the cafeteria. Sometimes it was aggravating looking at them all coupled up, like they had to show everyone their affection as they walked to lunch. Edward threw an arm over your shoulder and smiled as you looked up at him.

“We can be alone together, (Y/N).”

“I really wish you couldn’t read my thoughts, it’s getting old.”

“Give it a couple more decades, maybe it’ll get old to me too.”

“Whatever, Eddie. Let’s just head inside, I’m absolutely starving.”

Edward clutched your shoulder a little tighter as you walked in. You reached up to grab his hand and gave it a soft squeeze. The cafeteria could be overwhelming for Ed, too many unadulterated teenage thoughts running wild; and, he struggled to filter it all out sometimes.

“The Cullens. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen’s foster kids. It’s been going around Mrs. Cullen can’t have kids, so they’ve taken to adoption.”

Your ears pricked up at the mention of your names. No one really talked about your family like that anymore after two years, gossip’s no longer interesting. You looked out of the corner of my eye to find the source of the voice. Jessica and her friends, including Bella. You tuned in intrigued as to what they had to say; it seemed the rest of your siblings felt the same way. All of you purposely walked a little slower just for effect, Emmett and Rosalie leading the way.

“They’re all like together. Rosalie, the blonde one, yeah she’s with the big one, Emmett. Like a thing.”

“Jess, they’re not actually related,” Angela quickly interjected.

“Yeah I know, but it’s still kinda weird don’t you think? Anyway, the small dark-haired girl Alice is with Jasper. He’s the one that always looks like he’s in pain.”

You heard Emmett snort, trying to contain his laughter, at Jessica’s comment about Jasper.

“Dr. Cullen’s like this foster dad matchmaker.”

Well, Jess wasn’t too wrong on that.

“Maybe, he’ll adopt me,” Angela said.

“What about him?” Bella asked.

“Edward? Totally hot, supposedly single.”

“He’s not with her?” Bella must’ve been talking about you.

You unlocked your fingers from Edward’s and he removed his arm from your shoulder with a quickness, both of you disgusted. Maybe it would’ve appeared like you heard them but in that moment neither of you cared. Honestly, humans don’t notice that well anyway.

“Oh no. Just really close. I’ve heard that they’re actually related, half-siblings or something. No one really knows. No, Edward’s completely single. No one here seems good enough for him. Don’t waste your time.”

You pushed Edward’s shoulder as you sat down. He was laughing gently, remembering his less than gentle way of shutting Jess down.

“Wasn’t planning on it.” You heard Bella say.

“And that’s (Y/F/N). Youngest Cullen, she’s actually a sophomore. Also single, not like every guy hasn’t tried. Her brothers seem to stop anything before a guy can even get close to her. She keeps to herself just like the rest of them.”

“Really? She seemed nice the other day.”

“You talked to (Y/F/N) Cullen?” Mike asked while Jessica and Angela just stared in shock.

“She just came to drop something off to my dad but yeah, she offered to give me a ride to school.”

Bella gave you a small wave that you decided to return much to the shocked looks of her friend. It was the Cullens turn to look at you crazy. You just shrugged your shoulders and got up to get food, watching Bella, Jessica and Tyler get up and move towards the lunch line as well.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Hey Bella. Jessica, Tyler.” you nodded at the two behind her. They both mumbled out their own ‘hey Y/N’ as if surprised you would even speak to them.

“How’s your first day been, Bells?”

“Alright, only three classes left. Barely survived gym but other than that, alright.”

“That’s good. Listen, my family will have my head if I don’t get back to our table but we should do something this weekend. Maybe catch a film or something? Not much to do in Forks, you know.”

“Yeah, uh, yeah, seems good,” Bella stuttered.

“Cool, oh my sister will probably want to join us knowing Alice. I’ll let you know, I guess. Catch you later.”

You strolled back to my table munching on the chips from the tray. Perk to being a vampire, you could eat all the junk food you want and never gain weight or anything.

“You want to spend time with her? The Swan girl?” Edward asked when you sat back down.

“Maybe she’s actually interesting, be nice to know someone at this school besides you guys.”

The rest of your family scoffed as you stuffed your face with the few chips left on the plate.

You were exiting the front doors of the school when you saw a silver Volvo zip out the parking lot at the speed of light.

“Edward, what the hell?!” you asked when he picked up the phone after the fourth time calling. He didn’t say anything but a weak sorry and hung up on me.

“Come on (Y/N), I’ll even let you ride shotgun.” Jasper walked by. You followed him and walked towards Emmett’s car.

“Seriously, Ed a heads up would’ve been nice. Thanks for fucking leaving me!” You yelled as you entered the house.

“He’s not here,” Esme said, coming from wherever she was in the house.

“What do you mean he’s not here, mom? He sped out of the parking lot with a vengeance where else would he go?”

“He stopped by briefly. All he said was La Tua Cantante.”

You stopped in your tracks. For now, you decided to drop it. You figured you could forgive him for leaving  if it had to do with his mate.

(Part 2)...

[libraryofloveletters]

hi! so i came across your blog just a couple days ago and i love your fics! if possible i have a request for an eddie diaz and buckley!read fic? it might sound like a weird idea and it might not follow the time line. but the reader is a buckley, her and eddie slept together and they were about to start dating. then his wife comes back and the reader leaves la because of that reason. she then comes back 3ish years later with a daughter. her siblings know it’s eddie’s baby and tries to get the reader to tell her, but she doesn’t want to. then eddie some how finds out (you can pick how) and then he tells her that he wants to be apart of both there lives. and one last thing, can the daughter be names stella? (i hope this isn’t to detailed!)

thank you and i hope you have a great day! 😊❤️

Build A Home With Me

Eddie Diaz x Buckley!Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, slight insinuation of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, secret keeping, sibling teasing, alcohol and consumption of

Category: Angst and Fluff, lil mix of both :) 

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: First of all, thank you for the sweet words! I loved this request and I loved writing it! I hope you liked it!! <3

---

“What time are they going to be back ?” Eddie gets up off the bed, you shrug and grab your phone. You watched as Eddie got dressed, somehow this man always looked perfect. “Y/n ? What time are they coming back ?” he stops in front of the bed, the sound of the front door unlock causing the both of you to look towards your bedroom door. 

“Well, I guess now” 

“Y/n!” he half whispers, half shouts. “They’re going to kill me” he says, leaning down and tossing your clothes at you. “Not they Eddie, Buck. Buck’s gonna kill you” you laugh. 

“Y/n ?! We’re home!” your sister shouted from downstairs. You were currently staying with your sister, Maddie, while you came to visit LA. She was kind enough to let you stay with her because frankly, your brother could be a pain in the ass with all his routines. 

“Coming!” you shout back, Eddie grabs your arm as you go to open the door. “My shoes are downstairs” he looks at you, “okay and ? Come down and get them” 

“They're down there” his eyes go wide, the idea of your siblings seeing him was absolutely outrageous to him. 

“Eddie, I'm a grown woman. I don't think they’ll care.” 

“I do! I have to work with Buck, do you know how hard it’ll be if he’s upset about this ?” 

“Would you relax? He’s slept with 90% of my friends. Let’s go” you grab Eddie’s hand and pull him down the stairs with you. “Why are you walking so loud fu-” your brother stopped in his tracks. 

His little sister and his best friend. Holding hands. Coming down the stairs. 

Together. 

“Ed- how- wait what ? Since when?” Buck didn't know if he should be upset or congratulate them. “Buck, what’s wrong?” Maddie walks into the living room to see the 3 of you by the stairs. 

“Oh hey Eddie, wanna stay for dinner ?” 

Buck looks over at Maddie, she didn't seem surprised about the fact that their little sister just came down from her room with Eddie. “Did you know ?” Buck asks her, “I mean yeah, the walls in here aren't exactly thick” she laughs. Eddie’s face was a mix of shame and embarrassment. Buck didn't say anything, he just left the 2 of you by the stairs with Maddie. Eddie looks down at you and glances over to the direction Buck headed in. You shake your head and grab his hand again, giving it a little squeeze. 

“Come on guys, dinner’s going to get cold” Maddie smiles, walking towards the kitchen. The two of you follow her to the kitchen. Dinner was quiet, just talk about work and if you plan on moving out to LA which was still undecided as of now. Maddie asked you to help her get another bottle of wine, leaving the guys at the table together. 

“How long ?” Buck slouched in the chair, taking a sip of his beer. Eddie couldn't remember the last time he felt like this, he knows Buck is his best friend but right now, Buck was y/n’s brother and not his best friend. 

“A few days after you introduced us at the station” 

Eddie watched Buck. He was doing the math in his head, Eddie’s fingers drummed against his knees under the table, Buck looked over at him. “That’s almost 4 months” 

“It is” 

“And you didn’t tell me”

“Buck, man, she didn't want anyone to know” 

“Yeah she’s always been a private person” Eddie gave him a slight smile. “Did you introduce her to Chris ?” 

“Yeah, a few weeks ago. They really like each other” 

Maddie’s voice interrupted their conversation. “I have pie, who wants?” she turns to the fridge, the men give her a mumble which she takes as a yes. You make your way back over to the table, standing behind your brother’s chair. 

“So?” your hand rested on his shoulder, his hand comes up and pats yours, he glances over his shoulder and smiles at you. 

“Really ?” you smile at him, he nods. You lean down and kiss his cheek. Eddie watches the two of you, you remind him a lot of his relationship with his sisters when he lived at home. Maddie comes back to the table with a few plates in one hand and a pie in the other. 

“I should get going” Eddie stands from his seat, “Oh are you sure ? You don't want to stay for dessert ?” Maddie asks him, he shakes his head. 

“Thank you but I should get home to Chris” he comes around the table and pats Buck’s shoulder on his way over to Maddie. 

“Thank you for dinner” he gives her a hug, she wraps her arms around him.

“Anytime, come by anytime and it doesn’t have to be just to sleep with her,” she laughs, “you can just hang out if you want” 

“Hey, I'll walk you out” you reach for his hand, Eddie follows you to the door. He stepped outside, the cool air blowing into the house, you leaned against the door. 

“How long until the team knows?” you ask, he chuckles. “Maddie’ll tell Chim, Chim’ll tell Hen, she’ll tell Athena and then Bobby’ll find out” 

“So let’s give it two days ?” 

“2 days.” 

The two of you are just standing there, looking at each other, not saying anything. Eddie grabs your hands, “can I tell you something ?” 

“Anything” 

“You know how I'm trying to get Chris into that new school ? And I went for the interview” 

“Yeah, did everything go okay ?” 

“Yeah no, everything’s fine. It’s just that, uh- well you see,” 

“Eddie, spit it out” 

“They want to interview Shannon” he looks at you, your face is unreadable. Eddie’s brows furrow, he’s trying to read your expression. 

“His mom, right? Did you tell her? Because if that’s what it’ll take to get Chris in, you should tell her” 

Eddie sighed, a feeling of relief washed over him, “I thought you’d be upset” 

“Why ? It’s for Chris plus, nothing’s going on between you guys, right ?” looking at him, you were now trying to read his expressions. 

“Nothing’s happening, I haven’t seen her in years”  

Eddie gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. “Go home now, they're probably wondering where I am” you whisper to him, Eddie’s hands come up to your face. 

“Goodnight y/n”

“Good night Eddie” 

--

Anger, sadness, you didn't know which one you felt the most of right now. 

Eddie stood across from you, the two of you were in the living room of his house. Initially you had come by to spend the day with him and Chris, and to see how the interviews went. Upon arriving, you realized that Chris wasn’t home, Eddie told you that he was out with Shannon for lunch. 

“I didn’t- no, let me explain.” he looked over at you, taking a step over to you. You stepped back, you didn't want to be near him right now. 

“Explain then.” 

“She was feeling vulnerable, she felt like what happened to Chris was her fault and she was crying. She was blaming herself and felt horrible for leaving. I was just trying to comfort her.” 

“you couldn't comfort her without kissing her ?” you spat, your words laced with anger.

“Y/n, I didn't mean too. I pulled away, she kissed me” he tried to defend himself. 

You asked him the impossible question, the one he knew was coming, the one he didn't have an answer too. 

“Do you still love her?” you looked over at him, his answer would determine the rest of this relationship. 

“I’ll always love her, she's Christopher’s mother.” 

“Eddie, yes or no. Do you love her ? It doesn’t matter if she’s Chris’s mom.”

Eddie didn't say anything, he just stood there. You nodded, running your hand through your hair. Picking up your bag, you pull something out of your bag. Eddie watched your every move, he could see the hurt on your face, he truly never meant to hurt you, that was never his intention. Stepping towards him, you shove the picture frame from your bag to him. 

“This was for you” you say, Eddie looks down at the frame. It was a picture of the 3 of you. The 2 of you had taken Chris to the zoo one weekend and taken a few pictures, it was a picture from that weekend in one of the colourful frames from the gift shop. 

“When did you -” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

Eddie followed your steps to the door, he watched you walk out on him. Once you go to the car, you look back at him, “You know, I hope things work out between you and Shannon, for Chris’s sake. He deserves to have both of his parents in his life.” 

Once again, Eddie doesn't say anything. He watches as you get in the car and pull out of the driveway. He watches you drive down the street, he watches until he can no longer see you. 

On the other side of the city you sat in the car. How do you tell your siblings that you ended it with Eddie because he kissed his wife? It’s not that you didn’t know he was married, he had told you but he also told you that it didn't even count to him, she wasn’t around. 

Was there even something to end ? 

The two you aren’t exactly exclusive nor did you ever say that you weren’t dating. Maddie and Buck were both at work, you took the time to go inside and pack up your things. You didn't want to leave like this but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them in person, simply for the selfish reason that it would hurt you and to see Buck’s face when you have to tell him why you’re leaving would break you. You took all these things into consideration when you wrote the letter to them. 

To my Buck and Maddie, 

I love you both dearly, let me just start by saying that. I’m sorry that I had to leave so suddenly and with no explanation. There’s nothing here for me, at least not what I came in search of.

The two of you are my whole world, you know that. These last 5 months have been some of my favourites but our time has come to an end, at least for now. I promise I’ll come back and visit soon but I can’t stay here, not right now. I need to leave, to get myself together. I know what the two of you are thinking right now (I’m a Buckley too, don’t forget that) that you can help me get myself together but you can’t.

The reason why I’m leaving is Eddie. Well, not entirely, he didn’t tell me to leave but I feel like I should, for his sake and for Chris’s. As you both know, Eddie and I have been seeing each other but we never made it official, we just - well I just assumed we were. I went to see him today and he said he kissed Shannon and he still loves her, he “always will” so I told him that whatever we had is over and that I hope things work out for him and Shannon because Chris deserves his parents in his life, together, if they can make it work. I couldn’t tell you this in person because it would hurt, hurt me and hurt the both of you. Please remember it was my choice to leave, don’t take it out on Eddie (especially you Buck) he didn’t do anything wrong, I knew he was still married to her. If anything, I was the other woman and I don’t know why I allowed myself to get sucked into that.

Regardless of what happened between Eddie and I, don’t let that change the way you treat him. He’s a good man and he deserves happiness. I’ll find mine too, even if it’s not with him. I love you both, I’ll call you when I get home.

All my love,

Y/n.

---

*4 years later*

Buck’s birthday was this weekend. He didn’t have plans but in Buckley fashion, Maddie wouldn’t let his birthday go uncelebrated. Hence why you found yourself wandering the terminal at the airport, waiting on your brother to pick you up. 

“Uncle Buck!” the little girl shouted and sprinted down the terminal to the man in the green shirt. “Stella!” he shouted, meeting her halfway and picking her up. You made your way over to your brother, “hey birthday boy” you smile and pull him in for a hug. “Hey you, you know it’s not my birthday yet right ?” 

“I know, can't I be excited ? I missed your stupid face” 

“Oh thanks” he rolls his eyes playful, he’s carrying Stella with one arm and pulling a suitcase with the other. You tugged the other suitcase alone with you as the 3 of you make your way over to the car. Buck gets Stella strapped into the car suit and then gets in. Halfway through the drive, Stella falls asleep, she kept insisting on staying up the entire plane ride and kept talking about how excited she was to see her aunt and uncle. The car ride was quiet for the most part. Buck asked how your flight was, he caught you up on his life, you told him about Stella’s first day of school. 

“Who’s coming tomorrow ?” 

“Maddie and Chim, Hen and Karen, Bobby and Athena,” 

“Bobby and Athena.. as a couple ?” 

“Yeah, they got married”

“And neither of you told me?” you smacked his arm, he whined.

“Hey! I'm driving! anyways, Eddie and Chris are coming too” 

That’s who you really asked the question about, you wanted to know if you’d be seeing him tomorrow. 

“How’s Chris ?” 

“He’s good, he’s grown up a lot since you last saw him.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, you watched as the cars passed by and you couldn't help but think what could have been if maybe things had ended differently. Buck carried a sleeping Stella up to his apartment, you followed him with the luggage. Chim opened the door, Buck went to carry Stella up to his bed so she could get a proper nap. Chim helped you with the luggage. 

“Y/n! it’s so good to see you again” he hugs you, you smile. “It’s good to see you too! I missed you guys. Where's the boss lady ?” you follow Chim’s glance to the stairs, Maddie was giving Stella a kiss as Buck took her up. 

“Mads!” 

“Y/n!” 

She came down and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “god I missed you” 

“I missed you even more” 

After everyone was situated, Maddie began naming off jobs. “Chim, cake and balloons tomorrow, pick up is at 2. Y/n and I will decorate, Bobby said he’s got most of the cooking done and Athena will help him. Hen and Karen offered to get a banner, I just said yes because who doesn't love a banner?” she laughed, you, Buck and Chim exchanged glances. “And Buck, you just be ready.” 

“As for right now, boys we need beer.” she said, the two of them standing there, looking at each other cluelessly. 

“Go! That means go!” you say, Buck groaned and dug his keys from his pocket. 

“I forgot how bossy the two of you are together” he teased, you pushed him towards the door and they headed out. 

You and Maddie were sitting on the couch, planning out the last minute details. “Stella’s gotten so big” she says, flipping through the binder in front of her. “Yeah, she keeps surprising me everyday” you chuckle. 

“She looks a lot like him” Maddie glances at you, the smile drops from your face and you nod. 

“His twin, she acts like him too. The same pulled together emotions, she’s a fighter just like her dad” 

“That’s good” 

“No I mean, she really is a fighter. She hit some kid for taking her snack” 

Maddie and you ended up in a laughing fit as you tell her the story. Sometime later, the sound of little feet pattering down the stairs caught your attention. “Auntie Maddie!” your daughter shouted as she straight to her aunt in the kitchen. “Hi sugarplum!” Maddie picked her up and gave her a hug. “I missed you” she says to her aunt, Maddie smiled at the little girl, “I missed you too” 

Chim and Buck come in a few minutes later, you were laying on the couch watching tv and Maddie had Stella up on the counter, they were having some sort of dance party in the kitchen. “Who’s this pretty girl with you?” Chim asks Maddie as he walks over to him. 

“This is Stella, my niece, she looks like me that's why she's pretty” Maddie tells him proudly, you roll your eyes at her comment and you hear Buck groan. “Shut it, you're just jealous you’re not hot like me” she gives Buck a look. 

“Stella, this is my boyfriend, Chim” Stella takes a seat on the counter, looking at the man for a few seconds before saying anything. “Are you a firefighter ? Like uncle Buck?” 

“I am, how’d you know?” he asks her

“Magic,” she giggles 

“I might have to hire you for my next party then,” Chim jokes, “it’s very nice to meet you Stella” he lifts his hand to give her a high five, Stella pulls him into a hug instead. 

The 5 of you have dinner before Maddie and Chim head out. You, Buck and Maddie were in the kitchen going over something and Chim sat with Stella on the couch. He was teaching her how to play some video game Buck left on, “uncle Chim?” the little girl called to him, he smiled at her and the fact that she called him uncle Chim.

“Yeah?” 

“This game is weird” her face screws into a weird expression, Chim laughs, “it is, isn't it ? How about we go see if Buck has ice cream ?”

Before he could get up, Stella had already ran off to the kitchen, Chim trailing behind her. Stella tugged on Buck’s hand, he looked down at her, “Do you have ice cream ?” 

“In the freezer, do you need help ?” 

“Nope”

She let go of his hand and waddled off to get the ice cream from the freezer. You lifted her onto the counter and opened the container for her. Your back was turned for a moment to get her a bowl and a spoon, turns out she had already found a spoon and was eating straight out of the container. Sometime after that, Buck decided he was going to bed, Stella didn’t like that idea so she followed him up the stairs and began bouncing on the bed. 

“Stels, come on, I'm tired” he told her, he watched the little girl bounce up and down on the bed. 

“No! I'm not tired, come bounce with me!” she shouted, Buck sighed. 

“5 minutes okay ?” Buck gets up on the bed with her. 

You were in the kitchen with Maddie and Chim, “excuse me for a minute, let me go get her before she kills Buck with her energy” you left them in the kitchen by themselves. 

Chim turns to Maddie, “Stella’s dad didn't want to come down for the party?” he sees how Maddie tenses up for a moment. 

“Uh, her dad isn't really in the picture” 

“Oh, does he know about her?” 

“No” 

The conversation drops, Maddie stands by the window and Chim makes his way over to her. “You know, she looks a lot like Eddie” he looks over at Maddie, her focus on something outside the window. “Maddie ?” 

“She’s his daughter” 

“He doesn’t know?” 

“Y/n left LA right when his wife came back. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later. She had me and Buck, she didn’t want to drag Eddie into it.”

“Shannon died, Maddie. She could have told him.” 

“That’s exactly why she didn’t. He just lost his wife, she didn’t want to drag Stella into a messy relationship, Eddie needed time and she gave that to him.” 

“Do you know if she’s going to tell him ?” 

“I don't know, but that’s not our decision to make. What you heard here, stays here. Promise me that” she looks over at Chim, she loved that man with her whole heart but he wasn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets.

“I promise”

--

Turns out you can plan a party in a week. 

Everyone had arrived at Buck’s place, everyone was scattered around the apartment. Bobby and Athena in the kitchen with Karen and Maddie, Chim and Hen were by the tv with the kids, Buck was still upstairs trying to find something to wear. Stella ran over to you as you came back down from the kitchen. “Mom, look!” she pointed at the cake that was on the table, “I see it sweetie” 

“Can I have some pleaseeeee?” she looked up at you, “a little later, you gotta let Buck blow out the candles first okay ?” 

She ran off to go play with Nia and Denny. Someone knocked on the door but no one else seemed to hear it, you walked over and opened the door. 

There he was. 

“Y/n!” Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, you leaned down slightly and hugged him. “hey buddy, how are you ?” 

“I’m good, I missed you” 

“Awh, I missed you too” 

You could feel Eddie’s eyes burning into you as you and Chris walked into the apartment, he followed the two of you. Stella came running back over to you. “Stella come meet someone” you called to her, she stood beside you, looking up at Chris. 

“Who’s that momma?” 

“Chris is uncle Buck’s friend’s son, now you play nice okay ? I don't want trouble” 

“I'm Stella!”

“I’m Christopher!”

You crouch down beside her and point to Eddie, “that’s Christopher’s dad, Eddie, why don’t you say hi?” Stella marched up to him, she leaned her head back and looked up at him. “Hi!” she smiled at him, Eddie looked down at the little girl in front of him, she had to be around 3 or 4, she had brown hair and the same smile he did. Eddie glanced at you and then back to Stella and once at Chris. 

That couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Hi Stella, I'm Eddie” he smiled at her, she gave him another smile and made her way over to Chris. She began telling him about the plane she took to come see her aunt and uncle, the two of them walk over to Nia and Denny together. 

Standing up, you and Eddie are now looking at each other. “Hi” he steps closer to you, you don't move. “Hey” you move slightly closer to him.

“How have you been ?” 

“Good, you ?” 

“I’m okay, can't complain” 

“You never do. Want a beer ?” 

“Sure” 

Eddie follows you to the kitchen, you pull 2 beers out of the fridge, handing one to him and opening the other for yourself. Standing across from him, he asked you “how old is she ?” 

“4″ 

“How come you never told me you had a baby ?” 

“We stopped talking after I left, I wasn’t going to call just to tell you that. I figured Buck would have told you.” 

“He didn’t” 

Right on cue, the birthday boy came down the stairs. “Wow all of you are here for me ? I must be so special” 

“You know you are” Maddie pokes his cheek. Buck went around to say hello to everyone, he started with Eddie. You took that time to leave the very awkward conversation you were having with him and made your way to the kids. 

--

Chim dropped the bottle in the trash and headed to the fridge for another one, the party was well underway and everyone was having a good time. Well, expect for Eddie. He couldn't shake the fact that Stella looked so much like him. “You want another one?” Chim asked him, setting the bottle beside him on the counter. “Yeah, thanks”

The two men stood in the kitchen, chatting about work and just catching up. Chim had a slight buzz going and he kind of let the secret he wasn’t supposed to tell, slip.

“How’s your kid?” he leans back against the counter, looking at Eddie.

“Chris ? He’s good”

Chim shook his head, “no no, Stella”

The bottle nearly fell from Eddie’s hand, he looked at Chim. “What do you mean Stella ?”

Chim realized what he said, he turned the other way and began walking. “Chim!” Eddie grabbed his arm, “what do you mean Stella ?”

“I've already said too m- oh Maddie’s calling for me, bye” Chim walked off and left Eddie standing in the kitchen by himself.  Eddie looked over at the little girl sitting beside Christopher, she looked like him, there was no denying it. She had his smile, the same brown hair, she even had the same hazel brown eyes. You were walking into the kitchen when Eddie grabbed your arm.

“What ?” you look at him.

“I need to talk to you”

“Let go of my arm and maybe we can talk” you push his hand off of your arm. Buck made his way over to the kitchen, he could feel the tension. “Is everything okay ?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine Buck, Eddie’s just gonna come with me to get the candles from the jeep, right, Eddie ?”

“Yeah, we’ll be back in a few”

The two of you stepped out of the apartment and walked down to the parking lot. You did forget the candles in the jeep so it wasn’t a total lie. “Is she mine?” Eddie blurts out, you turn to face him. “Is who yours?”

“Stella. Is Stella my daughter ?”

“How’d you-”

“Chim let it slip”

You groaned, Maddie must have told him. It wasn’t a big deal that she told him, it was a big deal that Eddie knew.

“She is.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“It didn't make sense too”

“Y/n, she’s my daughter! of course it makes sense to tell me!”

“You had just gotten back with Shannon, I didn't want to drag you back into something you didn't want. I’ve raised her for the last 4 years and I'll continue to do so, it doesn’t have to change now because you know she’s yours.”

“Shannon’s- she’s dead.”

“I know, Buck told me, I'm sorry.”

Eddie let out a sigh, his hand ran through his hair. You stood in front of him, the two of you in the blistering heat, having a conversation you never planned on having.

“She wouldn't have stopped me from being in Stella’s life”

“I know.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Eddie, you had just lost your wife when Stella was born. It didn’t seem like the right time to come to LA and tell you I had a baby, your baby.”

“What about after that ? It's been 4 years y/n”

“Eddie, come on. Would it have made a difference ? It wouldn't have fixed anything. I would have still just been some girl you slept with.”

Eddie looks at you, his expression softened, “is that what you think ? that you're “just some girl” I slept with ?”

You didn't answer him, you didn't have an answer for him. There were so many times you had wanted to call Eddie and tell him about Stella. When she said her first word, took her first steps, her first day of school. You wanted to share all those times with him, like a normal family.

“Y/n,” Eddie stepped towards you. “You were more than just some girl. You always said that Chris deserved to have both of his parents right ? And he did but what about Stella ? Doesn't she deserve that too ?”  Eddie’s arms wrap around you, your hands on his chest.

“She does,” you sigh, “I can't just tell her your uncle’s friend is your dad, Eddie.”

“So we’ll take it one day at a time. I want to get to know her, and you. I want you back in my life, in our lives.”

“Eddie, I have a life, a job, Stella has school. We can't just leave everything.”

“As I said, one day at a time. I want this to work, don't you ?”

“I do”

“How about we get lunch ? Or dinner? The 4 of us. If you feel like this is something you want to do, you want us to try and make things work, for the kids, we can. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Eddie pulled you into a hug, things felt at ease for once, like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, you weren't carrying a secret anymore. You never meant to give in so easily but Eddie had this hold over you, one you couldn't shake, regardless of how much time you spent apart. You ended things because of what happened between him and Shannon in a parking lot and here you were, making up with him in a parking lot.

Talk about full circle.

--- 

taglist: @mikaelson-emma @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal

[binunus]

college bf!bin

a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!

word count: 5k

genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________

ugh yo

bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time

major: exercise science

and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college

swam varsity starting his second year

besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career

alright so bin loves making friends

he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him

but his aura?? tbh very intimidating

like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him

very well known in the university

literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year

a little embarrassed about it

not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him

myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?

rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete

blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing

so how do you meet bin?

basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend

you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him

your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place

but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am

a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate

you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare

most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin

oh would you look at that

you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face

he grinned at you when you sat down

“hey y/n”

you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”

he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”

before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation

one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on

you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics

no offense to stats lovers

every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class

you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically

so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam

you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression

you were both fucked

after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit

you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?

bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class

you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?

bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class

you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying

“can he help me too...? please?”

bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?

bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study

you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug

“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”

with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked

he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!

he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it

until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute

bin texts you the next day

coincidentally, eunbi texts you too

bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1

eunbi: why did bin ask for your number

you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)

you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week

eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n

you: lol what do you mean by that?

eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!

ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin

but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings

still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?

spoiler alert, it went alright

you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived

you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?

cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(

eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him

you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin

bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me

eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him

you: ???

bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh 

before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam

it was just you and bin this time

although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him

yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty

you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours

granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could

bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics

you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you

it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him

not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)

he walks you back to your apartment after your study session

wow what a gentleman

bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)

mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault

anyways

on the day of your exam you were freaking out

you have test anxiety ah ha ha

you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class

you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella

bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay

you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg

you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest 

he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it

instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.

he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down

your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy

you: th...thanks bin...

bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay

he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam

bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.

you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing

yes you and bin got lunch that day

your exam results were uploaded the next day

you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95

bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe

you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something

you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo

eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)

you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)

eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am

you: okay! i’ll see you there bin

bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo

cha eunwoo—best wingman™

you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet

eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water

also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!

bin places first this meet

are we shocked? no

okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers

and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you

eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better

you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...

eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him

you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of

jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*

baby you’re blushing

even more so when bin comes up to your group

mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders

he’s so hot ???

you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh

sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win

eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)

hwang eunbi—best wingwoman™

dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today

*you about to get your wallet*

bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time

cue the boys teasing

astro: kings of making fun of each other

rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late

bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...

the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet

he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you

you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about

you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so

and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms

and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?

but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving

bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place

eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)

bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home

eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date

bin: ...shut up

god why is the pining stage so long

alright everyone knows you and bin like each other

it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet

you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am

and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards

you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry

but that means more outside study sessions dates

you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself

and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends

but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other

even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual

you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over

eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.

alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin

let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year

you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual

eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor

mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n

eunwoo: probably not??

eunbi: just do it please

mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table

“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”

you: o_o huh?

mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?

you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read

you: um...well no I’m not-

bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.

mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves

you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him

bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out

you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else

bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection

you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf

“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”

it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that

eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together

myungjun: fucking finally

bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?

*eunwoo has left the chat*

alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%

bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you

he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand

eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you

ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you

sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?

other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??

eunbi: excuse me while i vomit

okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy

yes he looks all big and intimidating

but he’s soft—especially for you

your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”

yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you

bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe

he’s the big spoon, no questions asked

okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world

his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him

you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter

okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy

im soft

one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that

if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours

doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours

you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before

you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick

one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him

he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets

he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it

you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject

one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like

“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”

and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying

you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?

your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that

“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”

bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—

oh boy you got mad

you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...? 

bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor

you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.

there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain

bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up

he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something

so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn

he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing

bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.

you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out

he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him

and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab

you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself

and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him

bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.

ugh pain

anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter

eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach

you: omg eunbi stop

bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that

eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?

he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t

bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again

all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him

bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)

this was actually when the first “i love you” was said

after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort

and he just went out with it

“I love you y/n”

you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that

obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now

you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter

“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”

he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over

you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing

myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet

speaking of fucking

okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark

bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that

he’s 100% a tease

you have a little muscle kink hehe

which bin very much uses to his advantage

if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day

will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it

he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it

one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral

you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out

he’s an ass guy

...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes

okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier

he always wants you on his lap

even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs

ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh

most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent

but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock

subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you

just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants

and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf

his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking

likes to bite and mark

very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you

you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season

foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you

as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook

(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)

also in the hook, he can choke you

if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink

okay little tangent, choking is so hot?

like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy

likes butt stuff oops

i don’t make the rules, he just does

daddy kink, but no power play

will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals

seeing your face when you cum is a must

almost always: you cumming → bin cumming

nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good

after !! care !!

sweetest boy!!

will clean you up with a warm towel after sex

and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI

if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft

always ends sex with an i love you :’)

okay let’s get back to the soft stuff

special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates

sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together

he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year

it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break

his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew

you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food

naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping

bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??

you: morning binnie :)

his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner

his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?

just kidding all jokes

but that’s the moment when he knew

best boyfriend bin ugh

he becomes a legend in the school for swimming

but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation

he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business

bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step

you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot

doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops

ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb

like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places

but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete

your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi

at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually

eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)

and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu

happy birthday binnie moonbob ♥

1-25-21

[whisperingrockers]

would u. i dunno. perhaps articulate some thots on toh infinity train au 😳 if u can

HM. i will do my best. but...i dont really know how to organize my thoughts.  i guess i should probably just start with the characters and go from there, huh. also in this particular au these characters don’t actually take the place of tulip, lake, jesse, grace, etc- i think they’re all just there under different circumstances. 

Luz

okay so we’ll start with Luz because. she’s the main character, y’know. very important. i think the catalyst that brings her to the train is her mother signing her up for Reality Check summer camp because as a creative it’s just! disheartening to have someone you love tell you that you’re not going to make it in this world if you don’t conform to what everyone else wants. so of course when a huge mysterious locomotive suddenly pulls up to the bus stop you KNOW luz gets on, no hesitation. after all, isn’t that something right out of a sci-fi adventure novel? 

unlike tulip, luz is THRILLED to find herself on some unknowable train where each car is a new adventure just waiting to happen, where there are always new friends to make, new places to see, and tons of puzzles to solve? she’s made to feel like the protagonist right out one of her fave animes. 

also, really important to note that her number is probably tied to how she relates to the other passengers on the train. i feel like there’s an overarching theme in the show about how luz is going through a lot of firsts when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially friendships, so i wanted to keep that going in this au- i imagine her number goes up when she finds her friends tapes and convinces them to watch with her because this is obviously the easiest and most straightforward way to get to know them! (luz poppin that bad boy into a vcr player: this mama is ready for trauma!) 

realized how wordy this is going to be LOL

Eda

hough so this is a human au also (i assume? infinity train world really do be existing in some limbo state of reality where your reflection can just up and ditch you). i see her as a jack of all trades, master of none type, with a lean towards perfumes and handmade soaps that she sells at fairs or farmers markets and also pickpocketing. i think she sees something that reminds her of the life she used to have/would have had before lilith [redacted because i do not know what she DID yet but on GOD we will have canon continuity] and that drives her to get on the next train headed anywhere.

her number is tied to how much she allows herself to open up; the more she uses her salesman cover to keep others at arms length, the higher her number goes, which is why it’s so important for her to team up with King and Luz; they help her open up and be more honest with herself.  

King

king is actually a denizen of the train in this au; i love him too much to turn him into a real ass dog, so i wont. eda meets him in a car full of plush toys, which he refers to lovingly as his army of the damned. i almost want to hold off on writing up any more for him because i know there’s more to king’s character than meets the eye. still torn between eda trying to bring him off the train with her or having him realize that the whole TRAIN is HIS KINGDOM, and all its passengers loyal peons who need their mighty rulers HELP, for without him they would PERISH.

for now though eda sees him and is immediately like get over here (reaching emoji) 

Willow 

willow is a tough one for me because in all honesty having your longtime friend tell you out of the blue that they can’t be friends with you anymore would be enough to send me packing to the train, but with willow i think it’s less about amity and more about how the fallout between them affects her social and academic success. the frustration reaches a tipping point that has her running out of the classroom and finding the train. 

and yes, willow is a very sensible, bright girl, but she was also SO ready to trick the principle and steal from the emperor for her friend so i don’t think getting on a mystery train is wholly out of the question for her, y’know? 

There’s a lot about repression in the way willow deals with things generally, so her number is tied to passivity. the more she allows others to infringe on her personal boundaries to keep them placated, the higher her number goes. when she stands up for herself to others (sometimes even her friends!) the number goes up. willow x agency and clear limitations is my otp

Gus

gus was actually a SUPER easy one for me we know so much about him from the episodes he’s been in; he’s an overachiever, he’s passionate about what he loves, he’s a natural showman, and he is constantly pushing himself to be the best that he can be, all the time. the hustle doesn’t STOP for gus, and i...i...(tears up) 

anyways, i think the thing that draws him to the train is getting suddenly ousted from the club he formed at school. he’s young, and having everyone you had assumed were your friends turn their back on you and throw you out of the space that you CREATED FOR THEM would be shocking to anyone, but it broke gus’ heart clean in two. after he’d picked his bag and himself up off the hallway floor, he’d left the building in a daze, not even realizing as he boarded the train door that had suddenly opened up in front of him until it was too late. 

i’m actually going to go so far as to say that gus would likely be the one MOST interested in the truth of the train- he’d be asking the tough questions, like what is the purpose of the train? who made it and its technology? where does it exist that it can be both at his school and also speeding across a barren desert landscape at the same time? How does it create sentient lifeforms? the train helps him discover a new passion; journalism. he finds a journal that speaks to him as a friend and advisor in one of the trains, and he takes careful note of everything that happens to and around him. by the time he meets up with willow, he’s got so many ideas and theories that the other girl would have never thought to consider until that very moment. 

idk what his number relates to because he’s perfect the way he is but if i had to take a shot in the dark it probably has something to do with finding somewhere he feels he can belong, as well as being able to mourn and let go of the people he’d considered his friends before he’d gotten on the train. 

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of . gus feelings. 

Amity ( + Edric + Emira )

lumping these whites together 

okay so nobody wants to hear me talk about blight angst there are 800 posts about blight angst, so long story short the three siblings run away, get into an argument with each other, amity ditches them for the train while they’re asleep, and the twins panic and chase after her, determined to find her because in the end they’re all they’ve got. 

‘next stop: amity blight’ 

i think it’d be a cool journey to see the three of them going from ‘we need to be together out of necessity’ to ‘we need to be together because we love each other, and that genuine support structure will pull us through when everything else fails.’ but in order for that to happen they all have to have their own journey, so at some point edric and emira finally get into a spat and that’s enough to get edric and emira stuck on opposite ends of a retracting bridge. send that mans to the BACK of the train. 

emira: my greatest fear is being stuck with edric forever emira: (gets separated from edric)  emira: haha wait please say psyche

amity’s number is definitely tied to her fear of failure, of not being enough for the people she holds closest to her- in this case her siblings, and then lilith, and then luz when they finally meet. when she acts without concern for what the people around her think and when she sticks up for what she knows is right, even when the majority is against her, her number goes down. 

for ed and em im...i don’t want to think about their feelings because they’re supposed to be clowns but i am forced to consider that they may be jealous of their sisters independence. also separating them means they both have to take responsibility for all their own actions and choices, which is probably pretty new for the twins. 

Lilith 

im out of energy actually znzzzsnsz uh. estranged sister who sees something that reminds her of the relationship she used to have and she’s not actually as over it as she thought so the train....she..hghrg

[chibinekochan]

Hi! Would you be willing to do headcanons for the brothers, separately, if some random demon actually ended up trying to eat S/O MC? Since almost every demon seems to have threatened you with that. Of course MC doesn’t actually get eaten or hurt too badly! Thank you!

Of course. It seems like a very likely scenario. I like to imagine that in the game they have formed a protective mc squad. 

Angst with a happy ending. Triggers for  pretty dangerous demons. Mentions of blood/injuries/violence. 

Some of these got kinda long somehow.

Sorry

Beelzebub

He is just on the way to the store. 

Suddenly he hears someone saying that they found something tasty. 

Beel gets curious and looks for the source. 

Just to find a pretty scary Demon looking at a very scared you. 

You shake, almost tears in your eyes. 

The demon is clearly too strong for you and he is taunting you. 

Beelzebub doesn't hesitate at any moment. 

He flat out hits the demon without another word, and then he brings you to safety. 

Beelzebub is really worried about this. 

You can tell that it was just as scary to him. 

Both of you will only calm down after Beel brings you to his room. 

He makes sure that you have no injuries. 

You have to promise him to never ever go out without him or his brothers going with you.

Lucifer

You were working on a group project with other demons. 

Your first assignment without any of the brothers. 

Most of the demons know that it would be stupid to target you, but they still taunt you whenever they can. 

You do your best, since you don't want to cause issues. 

Sadly one of the demons has a real interest in tasting human meat. 

He manages to catch you alone and corners you. 

You are so scared, the demon is way too strong and you can't summon any of your demons. 

You try to kick and spit at the demon, you scream to get him away from you. 

The demon just laughs and gets closer to you. 

His claws are digging into your arm, you feel the blood on your arm. 

You are sure that you are dead now. 

Then you suddenly see someone's hand on the demons arm and feel that it gets pulled away from you, just before the demon gets thrown across the room. 

You are very surprised until you see the very angry aura of Lucifer right in front of you. 

You have seen him angry before but never like this. 

He looks more like the avatar of wrath right now. 

Lucifer is standing in front of you and glares at the demon, who is making excuses and tires to get away. 

Honestly if you were not here right now Lucifer would straight up kill the demon right now, but you are here and you look terrified. 

You are also injured, this is way more important to him than killing that scum. 

Lucifer brings you to the nurses office and treats your injuries in person. 

He feels so guilty that he apologizes many times. 

Lucifer isn't sure how to calm you down, he just uses tactics like he would with his siblings, like giving you ice-cream. 

He stays with you until you are okay again, and then he leaves you with one of his brothers (probably Beelzebub) and takes care of that demon. 

He definitely will never let you be alone again. 

Asmodeus 

You both are shopping for clothes together. 

Asmo is trying on some outfits that you picked for him. 

You have a lot of fun. 

At least until some random Demon comes up to you. 

It seems like they just hit on you, calling you nice smelling and great looking. 

You have no interest in them but you are still nice about it. 

Well, at least until they come closer and closer to you and then start to talk about eating you. 

You aren't sure if it's a joke or not but it's very scary. 

Before they can even touch you they get hit at the head with a high heel. 

The demon turns to the attacker, who is Asmodeus, and he looks extremely pi**ed off. 

How dare that random demon scare you like this, like seriously rude. 

Asmodeus has none of this. 

Ruining your perfect shopping date like this?? 

The demon has no idea what hit him, but he is running regardless. 

Asmo is pretty angry about this whole situation. 

Especially since you are scared now. 

Asmo will take you back home and make sure that you calm down and that your mood improves. 

His goal is to make you forget all about this stupid demon. 

You never get spoiled this much. 

When you smile again Asmodeus is finally relaxing too. 

You will definitely sleep tonight here and when you go clothing shopping again you will come with him in the changing cabin. 

Mammon 

You are in the middle of your lunch break, texting Mammon. 

Waiting for him to join you for a meal. 

You don't notice that you caught the eye of a demon. 

They don't wait long until they make a move. 

You are distracted and that seems to be the perfect chance for them. 

The demon approaches you from behind your seat. 

He puts his arms around you and on the table in front of you. 

You are very surprised, but still believe that this surely must be a mistake. 

The demon on the other hand gets even closer, you tell them to stop, but they don't care. 

Rather than being seen to enjoy the smell of your fear, they are amused by your attempt to get them off you by pushing their arm. 

You yell at the demon but nobody seems to care. 

You make arguments about how special you are special since you are an exchange student. 

The demon thinks he will get away with this and is rather amused. 

You can tell that he really wants to eat you and you are very scared. 

In a desperate attempt to fight for your life you stab the demon with your fork, but this is only getting it more angry. 

The demon pushes your chair over and you land on the floor, with the demon towering over you. 

You see the red in its eyes and you start tearing up. 

The demons claws have already injured you and you can see its huge teeth. 

You try to scramble away, but he is too strong for you. 

You close your eyes but the pain does not come. 

Instead, you find that the demon has been lifted off you by Mammon. 

Honestly you were never this happy to see him. 

Mammon is in his demon form and the demon gets thrown into the other corner of the room. 

Mammon is furious, he yells at the demon to leave his human alone. 

Mammon has none of this. 

Not just are you really terrified right now but also injured. 

He is so angry but as soon as he sees you like this he gets really scared. 

Mammon knew that humans are weak, he knew but you, you are strong and beautiful and perfect. 

How dare that stupid demon scare you, how dare that demon to show Mammon how truly weak you can be. 

He feels torn between many feelings. 

First he will take care of you. 

He carries you to the nurse's office, he is eerily quiet. 

He lets the nurse take care of your injuries while he just holds your hand. 

Mammon is in shock until you are taken care of. 

He regrets that he wasn't there for you. 

You are really thankful that he came, to you, he is a hero. 

This helps Mammon snap back to his normal persona. 

Soon he scolds you for being careless and praises you for yelling and stabbing the demon. 

He is just really happy that he was there in time. 

Mammon is very paranoid after this and will not let you go anywhere on your own. 

The demon is never seen again.

Satan

You borrowed some books from him and are just on the way back to your room. 

Suddenly you accidentally run into someone. 

You apologize, but the Demon is very angry. 

You never have seen them before and don't really understand the issue, but you know how easy it is for them to hurt you, even accidentally. 

So you just carefully step away from them. 

The demon is really not happy about this, he yells at you for being a lowly human s*um and makes mean comments about your smell and other nasty things. 

You don't want to cause a scene and just quietly accept what the demon says. 

It's not true but it still really hurts. 

You just keep walking slowly away from the demon, back to Satan's room. 

The demon is not letting that happen, they come closer and closer to you. 

You get scared and your instincts tell you to run away. 

The demon is almost right in front of you, you have no choice but to drop your books and start to run. 

You try to yell, to alert people around but your voice is shaking. 

The demon is really fast and you don't get far until they catch you. 

They get a hold of your shoulder and pull you back to them, their claws dig into your shoulder. 

The pain drives tears in your eyes, you yell and try to move away, but this makes the injury only worse. 

You hit the demon, but they have lost all sense of reason. 

At that moment the demon gets hit in the face. 

The demon lets go of you, and moves back a few steps. 

You are surprised and look around to see Satan. 

Satan is often angry, and you would think that nobody gets him as angry as Lucifer, you are wrong. 

He is the embodiment of wrath right now. 

Satan looks very scary and the demon, who seemed so scary just a moment ago, is now looking like a small child. 

They make excuses and try to run but it's no use. 

Satan is merciless, he has all sense of reason and the demon gets pushed and kicked across the floor into a wall. 

The wall breaks down and it's pretty bloody. 

You scream in fear, you don't want Satan to do this. 

This is when Satan snaps back into reality, he can't let you watch this, anyone but you. 

You are the one that sees him as a normal person, you are looking scared at him. 

Only now does Satan see that you are injured and crying. 

This turns Satan back into his normal form. 

You are in shock and apologize for the books. 

Satan doesn't care about them at all right now. 

You are the most important thing to him. 

He brings you to his room and treats your injuries himself. 

Satan is really considerate and careful. 

He asks you many times if it hurts and you can see how much it hurts him to see you like this. 

Satan does everything he can to calm you down. 

He makes tea and lets classical music play in the background. 

If you want to cry or hug him, or anything that will comfort you, he is going along with everything to make you better. 

When you calm down and stop shaking he will relax a little. 

Satan is really worried that you might be scared of him now. 

He can be a scary demon and he knows that. 

You aren't scared of Satan, of course the situation was scary, but he is your friend and you like him a lot. 

To hear that means a lot to Satan.

He continues to make some nice compliments, and is just overall super kind. 

He is very nervous for a while, Satan even asks you to stay in his room at least for a few days. 

Satan will always bring you back to your room from now on and demand that you lock it at all times.

Leviathan 

You stand in line with him for an idol handshake event. 

You both are very pumped up, and it takes still hours to start. 

At some point Levi had to use the restroom. 

You both don't think it's a big deal. 

Sadly, some people think that you are easy prey. 

The demon in question is just there looking for some fun and you seem to be a good target for that. 

They approach you, and it's very clear that they have bad intentions. 

They ask you to go somewhere with them, you decline and mention that Leviathan will be back any moment now. 

The demon makes fun of Levi, they say how weak he looks and what a nerd Levi is. 

You just ignore them, keep telling them that you are not interested. 

Even the other people in the line get uncomfortable with the demon. 

They don't listen and try to drag you off, talking how easy of a meal you will be. 

You try to stand your ground but the demon is way too strong and grabs your wrist, which hurts pretty badly. 

You yell and hope security will come and help you. 

That is when Levi comes back. 

You have seen him angry before but never furious. 

Levi is not a violent demon or a strong one but you could swear that he looks very scary right now. 

The usually awkward Levi is nowhere to be seen. 

He grabs the Demons arm, to make them let go of you. 

It looks like Levi is ready to fight the demon, lucky for everyone the security comes to bring the troublemaker away. 

You feel really relieved and comment on how cool Levi just was. 

He feels like he just hit level 100, like a hero. 

Levi regrets a bit that he couldn't show off his fighting moves, but then again maybe that's for the best. 

Then he makes sure that you are okay, he takes his time to check your wrist, without blushing at all. 

Leviathan is just happy that you are fine, but he will keep asking if you want to go home or if you need anything. 

He sticks to your side and you can see him glaring at anyone that comes too close. 

He is on the edge until you are back safely in his room. 

Levi is more scared than he will admit. 

Even by the time you are back in your room he will keep asking you if you are alright and if you need an ambulance or at least a nurse. 

He swears to never leave you alone again at any events. 

Belphegor 

You both are outside for a stroll. 

The boy needs fresh air after all this time in one room, and being with you is a huge bonus. 

You both have fun and enjoy the fresh air. 

Belphie doesn't have much stamina, so you take a break on a bench. 

After relaxing for a while you get thirsty and go to get both of you something to drink. 

While on the way back a demon spots you. 

Right away they start to approach you. 

When you notice the stranger behind you, you start to feel a bit nervous. 

You don't want to assume it but you have been warned about demons. 

You don't want to risk anything and speed up a bit. 

The demon also walks faster, now you know they definitely have no good intentions. 

You don't think long and start to run. 

The demon behind you seems to get only encouraged by this, and starts to hunt you.

You scream to get someone's attention, sadly nobody is around.

There is still a bit of distance between you and the demon when you stumble and fall.

The demon uses that chance to catch up to you and is now right in front of you, you try to get back up but the demon is faster and uses his claws to nail you to the ground.

You try to move free, but it's no use.

You are shaking and yelling, tears in your eyes.

Then the demon gets hit with something from the side.

The demon looks over and you get the chance to move away from it.

You quickly move away and get back up and then you look over to see Belphegor.

He is very angry, he transformed into his demon form and yells at your attacker.

The demon starts to go for Belphie, but he has no chance.

Belphie moves so much faster than usual and the demon can’t land a single hit.

Before you know it the demon is defeated and lies on the ground.

Belphegor offers you to kick the demon, but you aren't interested.

Then he notices that you got some scratches.

Belphie rushes over to you, after kicking the demon one more time.

He takes a look at your injuries and decides to take you home.

In his room he treats your injuries, while calming you down.

He does whatever he can for you.

Belphie is extremely gentle and soon you are all patched up, honestly he goes overboard but you don't complain.

He is still pretty angry at the demon for hurting you but you are more important to him than that.

From now on he will not leave your side no matter what.

Belphie gets very overprotective and you have to stop him from following you everywhere.

He is super worried and lets nobody near you, not even Beelzebub for a few days.

It takes a lot of time for him to get over this.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content.

[narniagiftexchange]

                              THE WINTER NARNIAN GIFT EXCHANGE.

                    for: @lily-baker-love from @noctusfury.

once a queen, always a queen.           

G-rated, K-rated language, one-shot, 4.5k words. Rated for angst. But also hurt/comfort.

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Summary: As Susan is prepping for a party, she reminisces on the days that she had once had as Quen of Narnia, and grieves. Thankfully, though, she’s not alone in this regard.

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Once there was a Queen who was said to be of legendary beauty — like that of her predecessor Queen Swanwhite the First many, many centuries before, before Jadis invaded Narnia and succumbed it into a Hundred Years of Winter. The Legends even claimed that this Queen was the reincarnated Swanwhite herself! And like the Queen of Old, this Queen was regal, kind, and gentle; though, unlike her predecessor, she had a fiery spirit hidden within that belayed her gentle nature. Even went to battle a few times in the beginning years of their reign during the Golden Years.

Such was her enchantment, such was her status, and such was her beauty, that nobles and kings and princes came far and wide from every nation in the world seeking her hand; their passions peaking to the point of starting wars to win her hand (though how anyone thought that to be flattering or attractive was beyond anyone’s guess).

Such were the legends of the Queen Susan — called the Gentle — of Narnia.

And where is this fabled Queen now, pray tell?

No longer does she dwell in Narnia. No longer does she reside in Cair Paravel, with her royal siblings. No longer she rule as Queen of that magical land, for her time in Narnia had come to an end.

So where does she dwell, then? In Aslan’s Country?

Well, not quite. She is, in fact, still alive, but living in a different world, in a different country, in a different city. Wearing different clothes, at a different time, in a different age.

She was younger, too; not quite an adult, but close to being one — a mini-adult. Even for the tender age of sixteen, she looked like a woman in her early 20s, and mature for her age, making her seem like a woman twice her age.

In this world, this Queen of Old is known by this name: Susan Pevensie, resident of London, England, in the year 1943 — and her world was in the middle of a long and terrible war. This forced her parents, Mrs. Pevensie and the newly-returned Mr. Pevensie, to visit a relative at the British Embassy in America. And they took their two eldest, Peter Pevensie and herself with them, leaving their two younger siblings, Edmund and Lucy behind with relatives.

And here was Susan Pevensie, in Miami, Florida, prepping herself for a party in the privacy of her guest room. She was humming a tune (a song from her days in Narnia) as she ran her brush along her dark hair, and even though she was facing herself in the mirror, her eyes were glazed over, deep in thought.

It had been years — two on Earth, 1,300-something years in Narnian time — since they had last been in Narnia. Not the Narnia that they had been so rudely reintroduced to the second time, but their Narnia — the Narnia that they knew that had magic and life and peace and prosperity. The Narnia that had a thriving population and a strong army and a navy and had never been invaded or defeated by any person or nation since the days of Jadis the White.

The Narnia that she and her siblings had ruled for fifteen years (and had hoped to continue ruling for many years after) that had been so forcefully taken from them and replaced with a Narnia they didn’t even know anymore — wild, untamed, savage, unfamiliar, unwelcoming, dangerous, quiet, barren. And very much changed.

It was no longer the Narnia they knew; the REAL Narnia left with them.

And with it, any chance of becoming Queen once more… vanished.

Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen.

Those had been Aslan’s words.

A wry smile graced Susan’s features as she combed her hair, appreciating the irony that didn’t escape her. As she put her brush down and began braiding her hair, her eyes clouded once more in thought.

She had once a Queen — a Queen of Narnia. Queen Susan the Gentle.

But no more.

No, the young woman staring back at Susan was no Queen at all, but an imposter — a pale imitation of the vision she used to be. Of the Queen she once was, in possession of a title that had been cruelly wrested from her.

She missed the days when she could take strolls along the hewn stone hallways… along the pathways… and the vibrant, lush gardens, feeling the stones and the grass sing beneath her feet, pulsing and vibrating with gaiety and life. To see the flowers and trees swaying to the sweet whistles and gentle caresses of the sea wind, content and blissful. To hear the casual chattering and snippets of conversations among the Animals of Narnia as she made her rounds through the castle grounds, giving her their various forms of greetings and utterances of respect according to their species as they were made known of her presence. True to her title, she enjoyed talking with them and the other Narnians; but she particularly enjoyed her time with the various Animals throughout the castle and Narnia. They were so filled with innocence and trust and life that she couldn’t help but smile fondly at them — she smiles, even now, a world and millennia away, as she travels and reminisces through old and time-touched memories.

Oh, to go back and experience it once more… to feel it once more…

A frown graces her features, a flash of pain in her eyes, before scoffing and shaking her head, trying to rid of her mind of longings already thwarted. It was no use dwelling on them anymore.

At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. But the longing for what once was was so potent that she could taste the bitterness in the back of her throat. A wet sensation broke her from her thoughts as she looked at her hand quizzically. Her hand had a few small droplets on them. What are these—

Oh…

Susan returned her gaze to the mirror to find that she was crying. Two tears were rolling down her cheeks, slightly disfiguring the makeup she had only recently applied. And like a leaking dam, more began their descent.

“No… no, not now. I have a party to get to soon.” she groaned as she dried her tears. Unfortunately, logic rarely prevails over feelings when in emotionally-charged situations… not unless someone was amply determined.

And Susan was determined to go to the party and have a good time with Peter and their parents.

“Susan?" Speak of the devil.

Susan turned around to see a worried Peter in a fine-looking tuxedo that she assumed he borrowed from their uncle-in-law, Andrew Perry, who worked in the U.S. War Department. (He was the one who was throwing the party at his villa.) With his immaculate suit, his hair neatly combed, and with the stature and air that he took, he looked every inch a King — even when he was no longer one.

Susan tried to compose herself and gave a weak smile. "Oh, hello, Pete. Sorry, still trying to finish my confounded makeup. Got it all smudged. Tell Aunt Harriet that I’ll be down there shortly.”

Peter wasn’t detoured in the slightest. “Are you alright? I heard you crying when I came in.”

The smile froze on her face. “Crying? Why on Earth would I be crying? I was giggling. I’m very much looking forward to the gala that Uncle Andrew’s hosting tonight.” she assured him, putting on a winning smile.

But the look in his eyes as he gazed at her reminded Susan that no matter what he looked like, Peter was still Peter — her beloved brother and close confidante. She could never hide things from him with full success.

Susan nodded numbly. Peter sighed, his expression turning sorrowful, as he made his way to his sister and gave her a hug from behind. She surrendered to his gesture and melted against him, leaning back as much as she could on the chair.

Peter looked at her reflection in the mirror, carbon copies staring right back at them. “I miss Narnia, too.”

Susan’s eyes widened and snapped to look at her brother. “How did you—”

Peter gave her a side glance. “I’m your brother, remember. And you’re not the only one who’s thinking about Narnia.” he gave her a teasing half-smile and she huffed. “Besides, we’re about to go to a party and getting dressed up; I just figured that would naturally bring back memories for the both of us — as they do now.”

Susan looked away from him. “You’re perceptive… as always. And I thought Edmund was bad.” but she was smiling, if only slightly.

Peter breathed a chuckle. “Well, since Ed isn’t here, it is my duty as High King to do what I can in his stead.”

Another huff — this time in annoyance. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” he asked her, giving her a puzzled look.

“You do know that we’re no longer Kings and Queens now, right? We’re not in Narnia anymore! We’ll never be in Narnia anymore! So stop acting like you’re still a king! You’re not one in this world, Peter!”

“Don’t you remember what Aslan said? Once a King—”

“I don’t give a fig about what Aslan said, Peter! He lied! He said we couldn’t come back to Narnia anymore! He took us away from Narnia! So we are now in our own world, without comfortable clothes, without talking Animals; without battles, or armour, or weapons; nor dancing in balls, or wooing or being wooed by handsome princes or fair maidens — no more being Monarchs of anyone or anything!”

Peter sat there, stunned, as Susan vented out her frustrations. Realization awoke in his blue eyes as he stared down at her, as if connecting something.

“You’re hurt.” the simple, matter-of-fact way he said those words both relieved her and vexed her. But… it was as if he sympathized with her. Like he himself had gone through it himself. “You feel betrayed by those whom you trusted irrevocably. Guilty, because you felt like you betrayed those whom trusted us when we disappeared — even though it was through no fault of our own; there was no way we could’ve known it, nor could’ve prevented it. Still, you continue to doubt and blame yourself, cursing the day that you and your siblings ever deigned to entertain the idea of hunting the White Stag, or following Lucy back into that Wardrobe, wishing that we had never laid eyes on it and just returned to Cair Paravel.”

Susan’s eyes widened as Peter was laying bear everything that had been festering in her thoughts — as if he had manifested them himself.

But Peter Pevensie was far from done: “You feel pain, because it was a home away from home — literally a world away from war and violence, hate and pain. A home that we had built with our own hands, created a world that anyone and everyone could live in, and made a family out of the people and friends that we had come to know. And then suddenly left them all without a word, and then return to that same world, only to discover that the home we had built up for ourselves — the world that we had created with all of our dear friends — no longer exists, and had been replaced by a wilder and dangerous Narnia that we had never known or thought capable of existing. It was a shock and a travesty to witness. And the pain worsens when you realize that the Narnia — with your home and your friends — that you knew… was gone.

"And then that pain manifests into anger. Because how could this have happened? How could this have been allowed? Surely this has been a mistake! Why can’t things have been reversed? Why couldn’t we have stayed? Was there any time to do anything about it?Could anything have been done? And then you’re just angry — angry that you weren’t there, angry that everything and everyone whom you loved was no more, furious that an enemy had laid claim to Narnia and persecuted her people for centuries unchecked without you being there, incensed that the One who made you a Monarch with your siblings chose another — born from the very people who persecuted and slaughtered your own — to succeed you as this New Narnia’s ruler, even though you always thought Narnia to be yours alone — that you assumed that, naturally, you’ll return to being to Narnia permanently and being their Rulers again, only to have even that taken away from you. So then all your left with is the emptiness of ‘why am I even here, then, if not to resume our rightful place?’ And then that burning betrayal of being replaced, that you think that the One Whom you looked up to almost as a father sees you as replaceable, unwanted, and having failed your job. And that desperation at having to prove yourself and to everyone that you were meant to stay, that you should be Ruler of Narnia again, not this reformed child of the enemy who had hurt the very people he’s meant to rule over.”

At this point, it was beginning to sound like he was talking more about himself than Susan’s own misgivings (since she, herself, never had that problem), but realized that perhaps Peter was opening his heart to her to show her that he, himself, had went through that same pain, back when they had returned to Narnia the second time. So she didn’t say anything and let him continue. (Her education as a Queen taught her that much.)

“And then, when all’s said and done, you feel nothing but grief — when you finally realize that, when it comes down to it, you no longer want to be Ruler of this New Narnia, with its new residents and new enemies and stepping into unknown territory. When, at last, you begin to understand:

"You were never home. That this Narnia will never be your home. That maybe Aslan made the right choice in picking Caspian as King over this vastly changed Narnia. That it would be better to return home, here in our world, and relive our memories of the Old Narnia, our home, rather than live in this New Narnia, only to be continuously reminded of the many differences and changes, always comparing the New with the Old… and finding it wanting… finding it empty… finding it unbearable to the point of despair and the crushing weight of grief overwhelms you. So, when the time comes for you to leave, you take it, because it would be better to be somewhere else and dream of our Old Narnia, rather than be here in an entirely different Narnia… and feeling empty. And do you know something? You don’t regret it one bit, leaving Narnia the second time; it’s having had left the first time that’s putting you through so much pain and grief and longing.”

Susan heard her brother’s voice catch in his throat, and waver, and instead of hearing his voice, she hears the voice of Narnia — their Narnia — speaking in that grief-stricken tone in her mind’s eye, surreal and haunting. Calling out to them with that same longing and hoping and knowing in her voice, her eyes pleading, begging for them to return to her, their names echoing throughout time and space and dimension to them in the real world.

“Come back, Dear Children! Return to me! Where are you? Come home! Come home! I need you here… I need you safe… I need you present… I am lost without you by my side.”

That image in her mind’s eye broke the dam, and, once again, tears streamed down her face — and there was no more fight left in her to stop them. She gasped as she collided into Peter’s waiting arms, heaving sobs as she finally succumbed to the grief that had been long delayed in coming. Peter took her into himself and held her close, rubbing her back and soothing words that Susan couldn’t comprehend in her distressed state. But it didn’t matter, he was here for her, comforting her like he always did, as they had done in those bygone days.

She wept and she wept, though still conscious enough to keep from attracting unwanted company. This was an intimate moment between only her and her brother. No one else.

Finally, her sobs abated, and she became more calm, as she heard him humming an old Narnian lullaby to her as he gave her much-needed comfort. It made her feel better, and, for a brief moment, she imagined herself to be someplace else: at Cair Paravel, in their bedroom chambers, with her siblings and her snuggled together in Peter’s bed after not being able to sleep, and Peter humming-cum-singing the lullaby to them, causing them to surrender to blissful sleep, one-by-one, before falling asleep himself.

Those were the days.

When she opened her eyes, and looked up, she saw him looking at her, a question in his eyes.

She smiled, a real, genuine smile. “Thank you, Pete. I needed that.”

Peter smiled. “Anything for my Queen.”

That earned him a chuckle and a playful slap on the shoulder. “I’m not your Queen.”

Peter pondered a beat, before nodding in agreement. “That is true — you're Our Queen. There are four of us, you know.”

She snorted. “As if they’d ever let us forget it!” they both laughed. Her face fell, a feeling of guilt tugging her. “I wish dreadfully that they could’ve come with us,” she said, after a moment. “They so wanted to come to America with us.” and then, after a beat, she added, “I miss them.”

The older blond boy nodded, his smile wry. “I do, too. It’s not really the same without them here, is it?”

“No. It’s not. They would’ve loved America.”

“They would’ve.” his expression turned thoughtful, before giving her a look of determination. “Then we have only but one choice…” at her questioning look, he added, “we must live in these moments for the four of us, for the rest of our stay here. What do you say? Are you game?”

Susan gave a cheeky smile of her own. “So long as we don’t have to play hide-and-seek.”

That earned her a snort from her brother, which made her heart feel lighter. “Agreed. No hide-and-seek. Which leaves us with our only option: go to the party tonight. That is why you enjoy going to these parties, right? Wearing these gowns and stockings? Because they’re the closest you can come to the real Narnia — in the days when you were the one who hosted these parties and were the Queen wearing attire much more elegant than what we have now. To get lost in yourself and imagine the people and the room being the ballroom of Cair Paravel, and that everything is as it was… if only for a short while.”

For quite possibly the fifth time that night, Susan was all astonishment, regarded her brother as if seeing him for the first time. “How did you guess?”

“I am your brother, after all. I’ve known you my whole life — plus fifteen years, give or take. I have an enormous advantage.” he then leaned towards her. “And I’ve lately been keeping an eye on you.”

Her eyebrows rose up at that, a blush threatening to bloom on her cheeks. “For shame, Peter! I don’t need to be babysat! I’m not 5, you know.”

“I was worried about you. Ever since we came back and you closed up. I knew you were processing everything, so I kept my distance. But you should’ve confided in me… or Edmund, at least. We were all worried about you.”

Guilt gnawed at her again, and she looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Peter hugged her again. “Now you do. Please don’t shut us out again. Or else a day may come where you need us, and we won’t be around to help you.”

Susan sniffed. “I know. Thank you.” she then looked at his slightly damp and crinkled dress shirt self-consciously. She tried drying it with her hand. “Oh dear. I’ve gone and ruined your suit.”

Peter chuckled. “It’s fine. Though it’s nothing compared to what you look like.”

A look of panic crossed her face and she turned to look at the mirror, only for her reflection to come back looking shocked as she took in the extent of the damage her emotional state had caused: red eyes, ruined mascara and makeup, stained with her recent blubbing. She took her kerchief and blew on it, and wiping the evidence of any tears… at the expense of the makeup.

“Oh dear! And it look me ages to get this done right!” she lamented, her hand bearing the weight of her head in despair. “Aunt and Uncle must be waiting for us now!”

As if summoned, a knock was heard from the door. It was the butler. “Miss Susan, Master Peter!” he called from the door. “Your Aunt and Uncle are expecting you! Your ride will be here soon. Are you ready yet?”

Before Susan could reply, Peter placed a hand on her shoulder, silencing her. “Not yet, Thomas! Tell them that we’ll be down shortly. Give us a few, will you?”

“Very well, Master Peter.” the sound of footsteps could be heard fading until he was gone.

Peter turned to her. “Well now, let us get to work, shall we? We can’t be running late now!” he made a move for the makeup.

But her hand intercepted his. “I’ll do it myself, thank you.” she protested, sounding more than ever the Queen she once was. “You’ll only muck it up.”

Peter pouted. “I’ve done your makeup before… lots of times, back in Narnia.”

Susan gave him a look. “Horribly, as I recall. I looked like a blushing doll smudged in dirt!”

He gave her an indignant look. “It wasn't that bad! I did your braids and you’re eyeliner well, at least. The rest of it was… confusing.”

Susan snorted. “I’d say you were.” but she relented. “So long as you do my eyeliner, as you’ll do it much better and thoroughly than I ever could, then I shall be satisfied. But nothing else!” Peter nodded.

By the time they were done reapplying her makeup (which was light since she honestly didn’t need too much), five minutes had passed. She looked herself in the mirror again and hummed with approval. “Not bad, Pete.” then the dig. “For a boy.”

Peter rolled his eyes and stood up, also looking at the mirror and making sure he was presentable. He then lent her a hand, which she gladly accepted, and they looked at each other with smiles on their faces.

“You look beautiful. As always.”

Susan flushed self-consciously. “Thank you. You yourself look beautiful, too.” she added, a cheeky glint in her eyes.

Peter didn’t miss a beat. “Why, thank you, Milady. I do cut quite the dashing figure, don’t I?”

The Gentle Queen huffed. “Like a duck.”

“Ah, a Mallard. An excellent choice, Sister! You do know your birds.”

“I always found you to be the expert on the subject — Being 'of the clear, Northern sky’ and all that.”

Peter chuckled. “Touché.”

A knock interrupted any further discourse. “Sir! Miss! The car is waiting for you outside. Have you finished?”

“We’ll be right down, Thomas.”

“Yes, sir.”

Peter cocked his head towards his raven-haired sister. “It would seem, Dear Sister, that our carriage awaits. Shall we join them?”

Picking up on the Royal Tongue, she slipped into it like a glove. “Indeed we shall, Lord Brother. But on one condition.”

“Oh?” Peter raised a noble eyebrow, every inch the High King. “And name your terms, Fair Sister, for it shall be yours.”

“I claim you for the first two dances at the gala!” she gave him a winning smile. “What say you, Brother Mine?”

Peter beamed. “I accept those terms unconditionally, My Lady.” he gave a courtly bow, before grabbing her hand and kissing it gallantly. “How can I ever say no to the Queen of Narnia?”

Susan giggled and gave a deep curtsy. “My many thanks, High King. This night now promises to be a good one.”

“I aim to please, Sister.” Peter opened the door, and Susan, carrying her purse, passed through with a grateful look and a passing, “Good to know that chivalry isn’t dead.”

With the door closed, the eldest Pevensie turned to look at his best friend and sister, smiled, and proffered his arm to her. “Shall we, my Queen?”

His answer was her hand, as gentle and slender as its owner, slid within the crook of his arm without hesitation. A perfect fit… as if they never left. And, for a moment, the vision of an older, strapping King with a beard and shoulder-length hair, and an older, beautiful Queen with hair that reached to her ankles, came into view, and the interior of the house became that of Cair Paravel.

“Lead the way, my King. I’m with you.”

And then, as one, Peter Pevensie and Susan Pevensie strode down the hallway and walked down the steps as High King and High Queen of Narnia — as they once were, as they still are, and as they will still be — and stunning the onlookers with a sense of awed surprise at the sudden air of maturity in their air.

As they made their way to the car awaiting to take them to the party, Susan, for a brief moment, thought she could hear a Lion’s roar… and someone whispering something, but shook it off in her excitement.

But had she stood still and listened carefully, she would’ve heard an ancient female voice — that of Narnia — speak the words said to them, many, many Ages ago:

“Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen.”

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of April. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Heat | Explicit | 1433 words

In which Louis and Harry mate with each other.

2) A Desperate Time | Explicit | 2,52 words

Aka Harry and Louis have a pee kink that leads to Louis pissing in Harry's lap. Graphic, kinky smut. Read at your own desire.

3) Bohemian Rhapsody Is Not A Documentary (But Freddieismyqueen) | Explicit | 3933 words

Note: There’s a BH mention.

A day in life of Harry Styles and his smol sunflower [quarantine edition]

Aka how many wonderful adjectives can be applied to Louis Tomlinson and his everything?

4) Just A Bit Of Work | Explicit | 4027 words

In which Marcel is a virgin, and becomes his office's amorous co-worker's next big conquest.

5) I Don't Wanna Look At Anything Else That I Saw You | Mature | 4375 words

After the hiatus of One Direction, all 5 members have their own solo careers. Louis, who just can't move on from Alex, his ex-boyfriend and bandmate, meets Harry, who's supposed to be Alex's doppelganger in his new single's music video.

6) Like Lovers In A Movie | Explicit | 4565 words

A grumpy Louis and a movie night don't mix. Harry's still able to fix it.

7) Christmas Lights In Paris | Mature | 4671 words

In which Harry makes a big mistake and has to get Louis back, while Louis' a cute, soft baker.

8) Wasting My Time | Explicit | 7856 words

Harry is in love with Louis. He can't do anything about it, until he can.

Louis is in love with Harry. He doesn't have a chance, until he does.

9) The Promotion. | Explicit | 8143 words

After being promoted, Harry is challenged to prove he is one of the guys. Whatever it is he had in mind, he never thought he'd be expected to fuck an escort in front of his colleagues and boss during this corporate party.

10) Want You To Want Me | Explicit | 8836 words

Harry likes Louis, Louis likes Harry. But it's not that simple. Louis doesn't know if he can handle Harry's lifestyle and feels overwhelmed. Can Harry convince him he's worth it?

11) Don't Hold Back Now | Mature | 11103 words

Harry gives Louis everything he asks for except for the one thing he wants the most. If only Louis knew who Harry truly was.

Or the demon Harry AU.

12) We Will Get Through This | Mature | 11219 words

Because of quarantine, Louis has to stay home with his roommate, Harry, who he's never really hung out with before. He's a sweet alpha who seems to really care and that annoys the hell out of Louis. But as he gets to know the alpha, he realizes it might not be dislike that he's feeling

13 Sunrise and Pixie Dust | Mature | 14816 words

Harry's taking a walk at sunrise in the forest he knows like the back of his hand when the wind starts blowing, the sky turns pink, and golden glitter starts to fall from the sky. He’s not sure about what’s happening, but when he comes face to face with a gorgeous winged-creature, he can’t help but be immediately mesmerized.

Or an AU in which Harry finds himself crossing the borders between two worlds.

14) Happier | Explicit | 15590 words

Literally based off of Ed Sheeran's song Happier.

15) My Heart Was Stolen, Can You Return It? | Explicit | 15824 words

Based on the prompt: "He's a cop. He’s the owner of a record store. A sudden rash of break-ins brings him to his store over and over and over again, until it becomes obvious that he might be tripping the alarm on purpose—just to see him. That’s illegal—but he's kind of falling for him, too."

I don't remember where I found this, maybe in a book I own or in a post I saw, but credit to whoever actually came up with it.

16) V | Explicit | 20275 words

Harry pays him to dance, Louis enjoys the sex on the side, and that’s all that ties them together. Whatever else the enigmatic man does is none of Louis’ fucking business.

Louis works at a club owned by infamous Harry Styles, leader of the largest criminal organization this side of the country. As they twirl closer together police and rival gangs start to gain the upper hand, forcing everyone's loyalty to be questioned.

17) I’m Having Your Baby (It's None of Your Business) | Mature | 26383 words

A bet can cost you a lot. Harry learns this in the weirdest of ways.

Louis just wanted a baby, and he got so much more.

18) Crush | Explicit | 26741words

Based off the song Crush by Mandy Moore.

19) My Love’s Not Simple (It’s Fragile) | Explicit | 27554 words

Harry's new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

20) Naked Attraction #2 | Mature | 29159 words

Louis Tomlinson is the first openly gay football player in the Premier football League. He was outed by the paps, but he’s had to embrace it since then. To show he doesn’t have shame in it, he goes onto Naked Attraction, and all the money will go to LGBTQ+ support, but he has made some changes to the show. Incidentally, he meets a certain Harry Styles there, and that is when things get interesting...

21) Compete Against The Stars | Mature | 30980 words

An ABO au where Louis finds out he's claimed to another Alpha. Angst ensues.

22) Where I Should Be | Explicit | 31324 words

Or, the affair AU where Harry is getting married, Louis is in love with his best friend, and they only have this life to get it right.

23) Will You Be My Boyfriend? | Explicit | 32484 words

Based on the prompt: "You’re at a party when you spot an ex. Quickly, you urgently pretend to be dating the nearest person, who happens to be very attractive."

24) Descendants of the Night | Explicit | 34371 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry is one of the old world. His best friends Liam and Niall are too. Zayn is a transient. Harry is newly back to the country after years of living in the city and he doesn’t know where to turn when confronted with finding Niall near death after a brutal attack.

“Liam, it’s me...I’ve heard you and the others talk about where to get medical care, Niall is in dire need. Where do I take him?”

There is only doctor in their remote part on England that Liam knows of who can help someone like Niall.

Louis Tomlinson.

Liam fears for what might happen when one like Harry meets one like Louis.

25) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can't stand one another, since they can't keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

26) Forgive The Urgency, But Hurry Up And Wait | Explicit | 53701 words

Note: This is the sequel to this fic.

Louis' going to do better. He’s going to have all of the uncomfortable conversations and the relationship talks. He’s going to make himself be a good boyfriend.

And he’s got absolutely no idea where to start.

27) Things I Can't | Not Rated | 67495 words

Louis has a plan for his life. He’s going to be the first in his family to finish college. He’s going to be a doctor - the best damn doctor in the country. And he’s going to work his ass off to make sure his younger siblings never have to wonder whether they have the means to pursue their dreams.

He doesn’t have space in his plan for a relationship with an effortlessly alluring musician, and certainly not for the child that unexpectedly results from that union. Louis is at a crossroads he never thought to plan for, and now he must make a decision: between what he wants now, and what he wants most.

28) Join Me In The Afterlife | Explicit | 262289 words

Or, the one where Louis is a simple guy - all he wants from his summer break is to spend some quality time with his mother, get to know her new husband, and learn to play the guitar. Nothing out of the ordinary, that is for sure. However, life has a funny way of working and when Louis finds a strange boy sitting on his bed one sunny day, his summer break takes a turn for the better (or worse) when he discovers a ghost has stolen his heart from the get-go.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 49

Embassy of Stories said:Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas indeed! In honor of the bar formerly run by Roy’s foster mother, let’s see the next episode.

Last Time: Madame Christmas went on vacation, Pride got a case of the munchies, and Mrs. Bradley was “rescued” by Roy’s Crew.

Congratulations! You are being rescued. Please do not resist.

Onwards!

Episode 49 - “Filial Affection”

Beard’s trying to wake Al up from his forced nap, while Pride WHOA NELLY his artwork seems a little harsher than I remember and you can definitely tell he’s got the power of two Goths in one package, the Shadow Blades are back with ferocity as he tries to draw Beard out by attacking his other son. Ed’s dodging and weaving yikes!

…

Ha! As much as I’ve been crowing about Ed growing taller, he’s still short enough to duck under Pride’s Shadow Mouth attack that chops the tree he was against. Now it’s Greedling’s turn to backflip to safety, and hoo boy. Lan Fan I know you have a massive crush on your young lord but in the middle of a battle against an upgraded Pride is not the time to demand Greed surrender control of the body. And cripes I’d forgotten about your arm, as much as you want to help now you’re no good if by trying to fight you aggravate your injury and turn yourself into a liability.

See? Ed agrees with me, Lan Fan tries insisting she doesn’t need help right after Ed kicked her away from a Shadow Mouth, as much as I like her she needs to back off until she can help without hurting herself. The other ninja is helping away Lion who’s apologizing for not killing Pride earlier, but Greed brushes it off.

[Greed]: “Heh! Don’t sweat it. Can’t exactly fault you for that one. Even I consider him to be a monster.”

Beams of light? Hey, Al’s back! Poor kids a bit confused on waking up halfway across the country, and understandably upset that Pride hijacked his friggin soul. Beard’s taking an analytical approach to the issue, thinking that as aspects of his own counterpart they’re close-enough “relatives” they can influence Al’s seal through his blood. Cheery!

The genetics lesson’s interrupted by Fu and Lion arriving with news. Good News: they’re down to one Goth. As for the Bad News… Al angsts about getting caught oh poor baby it’s not your fault. This is freaking Pride, the First Goth we’re talking about here. Backed up by Gluttony and with your fainting spells, they’re the ones to blame, not you. Fu reports that Pride’s got plenty of light for shadows with the spreading fire and he’s out of flashbangs. They need to think of something before the villagers oh-so-helpfully show up to put out the fire and get slaughtered by Pride. Time for Beard to show his powers?

Al’s hashing out an idea with Beard, so we cut to Greed and Ed getting batted around by Pride. Unfortunately the Goth’s done a bit of gardening, no more trees to take the hits for our heroes. Lan Fan’s hanging out by the edge of the clearing nope never mind Pride’s got her pinpointed with his enhanced sense of smell… hey, Ed! You got any more dynamite stashed somewhere?

[Greed]: “Ugh… dammit! Hey, you still breathing over there?”

[Ed]: “Does wheezing count?”

Oh neat, Prides calling Greed out on caring for others. And notably Greed didn’t argue against that, say something like “I’m just protecting my possessions” or whatever. He just called Pride a monster. Aw, is Greed getting character development?

Ew ew don’t call yourself Greed’s brother you little gremlin. You don’t get to claim family ties (oooh I just got the title ok then) when you’re getting ready to eat your “sibling”.

[Greed the First]: “Just don’t blame me when I give you a stomachache! You did it to yourself!”

Pride’s sniffing? Adventure Strings? YES. Beard is entering the fray! Show us what you can do, Papa Elric.

Wait what? “The hero always waits until the last second to make his move.” Pffft no. Buddy, if you think you’re the Protagonist of the show then I’ve got some bad news for you. Unless this is just grandstanding for Al’s plan…

But now he’s just standing there, cheerfully saying that he could never possibly fight Pride. Which unnerves the Goth so much he withdraws his Shadow Mouths and focuses all his attention on Beard NOW AL ATTACK FROM BEHIND damnit.

[Pride]: “Are you joking? This was your pathetic plan?”

Uh I kinda have to agree with Pride here, your plan was to charge screaming across the field to try and punch Pride in the face? This can’t be it, but Beard’s holding Ed back and Al’s forced to his knees among Pride’s shadows.

Oh hell no you did not just call Al stupid. Ed, push past your father and kick his-

[ShinyGlasses!Beard]: “That’s crossing a line, Pride. Don’t ever mock my son!”

RED ALERT RED ALERT RED SPARKS BEARD’S IN THE FIGHT NOW HERE WE GO

Hooooly Leto. So while standing completely still, Beard’s tearing up the ground to form a giant dome over Pride and Al, and if the dome blocks all the light and Al’s right there now without any shadows to bind him, then Al can pick up where Lion left off!

Huh. So Al’s plan wasn’t to finish Pride off, but just to trap him? Huh. I mean, there’s no way this is going to stick until the Promised Day is over, you can’t just shove the secondary Protagonist in a cage a dozen episodes before the finale. But what about the comment of Al’s body not needing food or water or air? Is little Selim going to start choking and Good Guy Al will have to decide between breaking the trap or watching an apparent little child suffocate?

Whatever happens the dome is holding for now, and Beard’s explaining that Al told him not to warn Ed, who’s a little upset that his brother’s stuck in a cage with a Goth. Beard goes to put the fires out, while Ed yells through the stone at Al who apologizes for the bad reunion. Sorry kids, hopefully this will blow over soon.

Greed? Greed what are you doing? Why are you leaving the good guys… aw, damnit! Dude come on, I was just complimenting you on your character growth earlier this episode, don’t go and pull a Vegeta on me now!

[Ling]: “Hey Greed! What the hell are you planning?”

[Greed]: “Heh. I’ve told you; I’m planning on ruling the entire world.”

Mid-ep pictures of Pride and Kimblee damnit not this guy again. Uuuuugh. Fine whatever he got mildly competent again after tricking the Drachmans into attacking and dying so I’ll try to cut him some slack.

A couple of hobos are around a bin fire, talking about all the Ishvalans who have moved into the neighborhood. Kind of like that murderer with the distinctive scar on his well look who it is! Scar politely asks for directions, but gets a little upset when he learns that May Chang came back through wait a few weeks ago?! Jeez I keep forgetting there’s been such a large time skip. But where is she? And for that matter, where’s the Goth she was carrying?

Scar also doesn’t like his people being called terrorists and accused of blowing up Bradley’s train. Because they’ve got that whole Honorable Warrior Race thing going on where even Scar justified his killings with the fact that he faced people directly. But soon enough they’ll be seen as allies and heroes of the Amestrians!

...well, other Ishvalans will be seen as allies and heroes. These guys seem to have come down with a case of death, courtesy of someone humming to the Sinister String Music yup it’s Kimblee, skipping over bloody corpses and berating himself for getting his tailor-made suit dirty before the scheduled “fun” starts.

In the Dome, Pride’s trying to tunnel out with a stick before Al tells him it’s pointless. So of course he drops the wood and goes for Al’s discarded metal helmet with the sharp point on it, nice job getting the baddie to upgrade again. Although now Pride’s stopped moving as Al points out the biggest flaw in the Goth’s plan: the humans. They’re needed as “sacrifices”, but the whole thing would have fallen apart if they had just said Fuck It and joined ARMSTRONG SR. and family on the vacation to Xing.

Oooh, but the Goths were banking on the Protagonists to be that selfish and leave them to cause havoc in their wake. Pride even brings up Mrs. Bradley, who once got between Pride and a car crash. She obviously didn’t know the truth, but she still risked her own life to protect what she loved. And the Sacrifices were chosen specifically because they were “a step above that”, with souls so strong they would never turn their backs on those who needed help.

[Pride]: “So explain to me again, how were our plans so sloppy?”

While Pride and Al are debating humanity and compassion, Roy’s visiting Hughes’ grave when Riza comes to check on him.

[Afterlife!Hughes]: “Alright, you guys are going into the final fight. Riza, now’s the time to- wait no Roy stop! Damnit man she was just about to say something but you had to put on your Commander Face and walk right past her! You were going to have a moment dude! Get back here and confess your love, you idiot!”

Alright so Scar’s crew have reached the clearing ooooh no. No no no crap dudes don’t notice the Dome and get close and get tricked into opening it. Whew ok good, the respective Chimeras of the groups have met up and spent so long accusing eachother of still working for Worst Boss Ever that Ed was able to run up and get them to face Shorty as a common annoyance. Later they’re catching up over the campfire-

[Toad]: “Once the sun comes up, things are going to get rough.”

[Gorilla]: “I know. Let’s just hope that everyone makes it through the day alive.”

Welp you’ve signed your death warrant. Nice knowing you, Gorilla.

Fu’s heading off to do some recon in Central, I predict that’ll last right up until he finds Greed pulling a coup and is torn between helping the Protagonists and siding with the Goth inhabiting his charge’s body. In the meantime, you gonna explain your strategy? Nope? Relying on the Unspoken Plan Guarantee? Alright then.

Aw there’s that Red Jacket that got tossed aside a few episodes ago. I’m sorry, I just got really attached to the White Jacket and the character growth that the outfit change symbolized, but I’ll agree that the original look is closely tied to Al’s character. I’ll try to get over it.

[Ed]: “Al’s doing everything possible to keep us safe. The rest of it… That’s up to us!”

End-credit music kicks off as Ed dons his jacket and the sun rises on The Promised Day.

After-credits: A young blonde girl is yelling at her sleepy older brother to get up or he’ll miss the solar eclipse. But Older Brother wakes right up when his younger brother sees smoke, which turns out to be Roy destroying government property. An officer’s getting the update that they know it’s Roy’s group doing the damage but they’ve got Mrs. Bradley as a hostage so they can’t never mind Officer just said they were all expendable except for Roy. Cue troops in berets smashing through windows, even as Riza holds a gun to poor Mrs. Bradley’s head.

[Beret!Officer]: “The only one we need alive is Mustang. Kill the rest.”

Mrs. Bradley is not pleased to hear that.

…

Gunshot?

Gunshots?

…

Well ok then.

[eye-raq]

Lethal Lust. Chapter Two:      Truth Be Told

Hey Peeps!!!! so, this next part is basically another introduction into a character in this series. I write as it comes to me so I hope everything is flowing pretty nicely. Thanks to everyone who enjoys reading this. 

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of Smut.

Chapter two: Truth Be Told.

2006:

Truth be told, Janelle Morris didn’t know a fraction of what her adopted brother was getting himself into…

It’s okay, it’s okay, hold still, we’re gonna get you through this, shh shh you’re fine, you’re okay, just hold still and we’ll get you out.”

His eyes were bloodshot, tears brimming and almost toppled over. 

“Just focus, okay? Focus on my voice, you’re fine, you’re safe, ignore the medics, stay with me, focus on me.”

Her voice was like a hush in the dark.

“I-I-I...get me the fuck out of here,” He practically begged her.

“I can’t do that, Erik. You need to get better,” Janelle was shoved out of the way unknowingly by a nurse who tried to apply pressure to his bleeding wounds.

He began to gasp, clenching his fists. The more air he took in the more his lungs burned. His mind told him to clutch his gunshot wound to stop the blood from flowing, but that would be too painful. All he could see were lights passing overhead, and faded voices calling out orders to keep him stable.

This wasn’t what he expected at all. How did he get himself down like this? All that rage and it felt like it was for nothing.

“Am I dying? If so I’m okay with that.” When he swallowed, it felt like he was swallowing glass.

“Erik. You’re not going to die. I won’t let you. FUCK THAT,” he could feel her small delicate hand grip his. 

“PULL HIM UP AND OVER! On the count of three... one, two, THREE!” 

“AHHHHH!” His piercing scream caused her to squeeze the life out of his hand, almost cutting off his blood supply.

“AHHHHHH!!!!! FUCK!!” He looked as if he wanted to kill everyone that was touching him.

“Why did you bring me here, Janelle?!” His teeth were exposed as if threatening her. 

“You’re my brother, Erik, and I wasn’t going to watch you possibly die!” Janelle released his hand, a few EMT workers rushing past her. Janelle shook her head at her brother, intense emotions flashing across her face like a picture book. 

“You’re not my real sister. You don’t have to worry about me like you do.”

“Don’t say shit like that! Don’t…” Janelle trailed off as her chest burned from his scornful words. 

“Shit like what?! I don’t need for you to get hurt too! Harrison would never fucking forgive me.”

It’s okay, Nelle, he’s just saying that because he’s upset. Erik loves you.  He conscience mind was trying to reason with her.

“SIR! Can you tell us where you were when this happened?!” The woman police officer boomed in his ear causing it to ring.

“WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIM QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW?” Janelle was ready to risk it all, approaching the police officers with stomping feet. The male officer became a barrier between the lady cop and Janelle, her eyes seething.

“Attack me and you go to jail.” She looked like she held some type of power over Janelle. She didn’t care about that badge. 

“CAN WE GET SOME CLEAR SPACE! everyone please! we need cooperation here.” The Doctor yelled at the top of his lungs, temporarily bringing everyone’s attention to the task at hand. The two officers exited the room, talking with angry whispers.

“We’ve got a gunshot wound to the ribs, left hand, and proximal femur. It was a through and through,” The male nurse present made a report of Erik’s condition alongside the doctor who took a pair of medical scissors to cut Erik’s black T-shirt down the middle. His entire torso was exposed along with some of the scars that Janelle always wondered about. With folded arms she stood in a corner, lip quivering and tears staining her cheeks.

“Where is the blood?! I need blood!!! The ED Doctor threw up his bloody glove-covered hands in frustration, applying as much pressure to Erik’s wounds as possible. 

“He has a hemorrhagic shock. We need the transfusion protocol up and running. What is his blood type?”

“You didn’t test his blood, Regina? you're a nurse for christ sake! do your job!”

The nurse by the name of Regina looked shook from being yelled at, brow sweating as she looked around her to find out if someone tested his blood.

“A-NEGATIVE!” A phlebotomist enters with the results in hand, a nurse following closely behind with the transfusion bags. Everyone worked together effectively to help Erik. Janelle bit down on her thumbnail, leg jumping with anticipation. If Erik died, she didn’t know how she would get through it. Her father’s death was already a stab to the heart already. It had been about two months since his passing but it felt like yesterday. She remembers screaming in her college dorm when she had received the call. Her roommate, Sonya, shot up out of her bed, running to Janelle’s door, banging hard like the police. Erik had been MIA, away at college himself in Maryland. 

Two Months Ago:

“Mara? where is Erik!” Janelle tossed her luggage when she made it to her aunt’s place, her family crowded around in mournful silence. 

“You're worried about Erik right now?” Her aunt looked at her with hurt eyes. The sight seemed to travel like a tidal wave over everyone else’s faces as well. 

“Yes! I need my brother right now,” Janelle tried calling Erik for the 50th time, the phone ringing twice before going straight to voicemail. She felt defeated. Janelle looked around the room at the family who hardly came around. It’s crazy how death brings people together. She remembers her older cousins talking about how her father ran her mother away, how he works too much and ignores his daughter. So fake. Erik was the most real. The one she needed at this moment. 

God must have heard her cry because Erik walked through that door with a rage so powerful it caused her uncles and male cousins to lift from their seat as if they were ready to attack him. Erik acted as if the room was empty except for Nelle, walking up to her, hugging her reassuringly. The once emotionless Erik who’d rather be a loner comforted her. His hug was tight and understanding, the tears falling even harder. Erik was the only one who understood what it felt like to have a parent killed. 

“Don’t worry Nelle, I’ll handle this,” Erik whispered closely to her before planting a kiss to her forehead. All of this shocked Janelle completely. Erik never showed her this much affection. 

“Handle it?” She blinked through her tears up at him, eyebrows scrunched, silently asking him to clarify what he meant by those electrifying words.

“Shh, calm down, it’s okay, I’m here now.”

-------

“SIR?! Can you tell us what happened to you? Were you targeted? Was this a crossfire? We need to know,” she was clearly frustrated with Erik’s lack of cooperation. All he did was focus on the ugly hospital lights within that trauma room, face blank and emotionless. Janelle hadn’t even realized they came back into the trauma unit to question him yet again. 

Erik looked at her menacingly, Fists clenched and the doctors looking as if they were ready to restrain him.

“Sir?” The officer waved away a nurse who tried to approach Erik, Janelle, ready to step forward again. This bitch lost her mind trying to squeeze information out of Erik. It’s not like it was his fault.

Janelle paused in thought.

what if it was?

Erik was definitely a version of Donnie Darko in his teenage years but would he actually be involved? would he kill someone? Janelle’s moment of inward clarity snapped like a twig from Erik’s booming voice bouncing off of the walls outrageously. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!” Spit flew, eyes wide, and cold. Erik’s head fell back from weakness, his space even more crowded, almost smothering him. She could see the beginnings of a panic attack brewing, his eyes swimming with unwanted tears and veins pulsating like they were ready to combust. Erik’s heart rate began to spike, worry, and determination set on everyone’s faces. Janelle could pull her hair out from the disturbing and painful scene breaking her heart into literal pieces. 

Turning to her partner, the officer whispered closely, grabbing his forearm to walk away so that he could be tended to properly. Almost to the exit of the room, the officer caught Janelle’s eye, stopping. Janelle knew where this was going. With burning eyes, Janelle waited for the officer to speak.

“What relation are you to the victim?”

“I’m his sister,” Janelle looked over at Erik then, his cold words forcing her to cry again. How could he say that to her? Yeah, they weren’t blood siblings but Erik was the closest thing to a brother than her own Godbrother. She cared for him no matter how broken he was. 

“Do you have any idea what happened? A hunch about who could have attempted to take his life? Anything?”

“No. And if I did I would tell you,” 

Janelle tried to scrape away the blood under her fingernails, failing miserably. 

“We need you to come down to the station with us. We have some questions for you..”

“FOR WHAT?” Shoulders slumped, Janelle’s aggravated expression frustrated the woman officer to the fullest degree.

“You may be a witness to this, and for your brother's sake, we need to know who would do this to him,” the officer folds her arms over her chest authoritatively, walking closer to Janelle with stern eyes.

“He’s just a fucking kid, only a kid…” Janelle wasn’t much younger than Erik, only by a year but at this moment she felt like a mother figure.

“While you're here questioning me about what happened to my brother, you could be trying to figure out what happened to my father. He was murdered and you STILL didn’t catch his killer?!” 

“PLEASE! Can you give us some space,” the doctor barked out, adjusting blood bags on an IV pole to supply for Erik.

“That has nothing to do with this..”

“Un-FUCKING believable,” Janelle scratched her brow, hands shaking from how ballistic she felt.

“It has EVERYTHING to do with this…” Janelle snapped her mouth shut, afraid now that she said too much. 

With doubtful eyes, the woman officer gave her partner a knowing look before grabbing her walkie-talkie from her hip. 

“Everything is good, we will bring her in for questioning,” during the entire exchange, Janelle avoided her eyes, hoping to catch Erik’s. He still had his eyes planted to the ceiling lights, probably burning from not blinking. What was running through his mind? She wanted to pull him apart to study every detail from start to finish.

—————

July 30th, 1996: Coconut Grove, Miami, Florida

“Janelle, baby,”

Janelle Morris releases her black Barbie doll from her tiny grip, turning on her bed to spot her father in the doorway of her bedroom. He held a soft smile on his face, eyes sincere.

“DAD!” She rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Janelle fought the tears that wanted to fall. She hadn’t seen her father in days. 

“Where were you?! Me and auntie Mara were worried,” she pouted, hazel eyes streaming with tears.

“I’m sorry, little one. Daddy had to take care of something important. You know how important my job is.” 

Even though Janelle was just nine years old, she understood. Even understanding couldn’t stop her from waiting up all hours of the night for her father to come home. Today, she was at the park with a few of her friends sharing the monkey bars. Janelle could feel the eyes of jealous little girls on her as she skillfully crossed those monkey bars, even for how short she was.

“She thinks she’s sooooo good,” Nattie, a little white girl with natural blonde hair and dark green eyes glared at Janelle.

“She’s nothing but a show-off!” Nattie’s group of friends agreed like she owned them. A little girl with that much power…

“I’ll show her...I’ll show her I’m better than her!”

Janelle wasn’t aware of what was going to happen to her. She just kept crossing those bars, a wide smile on her face and triumph in her eyes. Janelle was almost to the other side when Nattie grabbed her ankles, yanking her down forcefully. Janelle fell to her knees, screaming in pain. Falling to her back, Janelle could see blood and ugly scars on both of her tiny kneecaps. 

“Janelle, Janelle, ugly Janelle!” Nattie sung out loud, face red and eyes hard. Her followers laughed and pointed at Janelle, even a girl Janelle thought to be her friend.

Her tears streamed down her face, glaring at the group of girls with vengeance. 

“What are you gonna do?! You're so weak and ugly! Ugly hair, ugly face! It’s us against you! Hahahaha!!!” 

She felt caved in like a circle formed around her with pointed fingers and ugly laughs. Those little girls were like little devils. Janelle scanned every one of their faces, imprinting them within her memory. Janelle’s light brown eyes fell on her supposed friend, Shawna, betrayal etched on her tiny face.

“That’ll teach you! I’m better than you! Prettier than you! You’re ugly and black! HahahaHA!”

“Shut up, Nattie,” Shawna spoke up, offended as well.

“Who asked you?!! You want to be where she is too?!!” 

Shawna cowards in fear, ashamed to meet Janelle’s eyes.

“Didn’t think so!” Nattie looked down at Janelle, smiling with her snagged toothed grin.

“Watch your back, ugly!”

Janelle cried even harder then ...if only her Dad was there...

“Janelle, I want you to meet someone,” Harrison grabs Janelle’s left hand, bringing her into the living room where her aunt resides. As soon as she entered the circular room her hazel eyes fell upon a boy sitting at the farthest end of the couch with his head bowed and fingers twiddling.

“Nelle, this is Erik. He’ll be staying with us now. That’s what papas been up to, I’ve been working extra hard to provide a home for him.”

“A home?” Janelle looked from her aunt's concerned face to her father. This was all confusing. 

“Why? Doesn’t he have a home?” 

“...I’ll explain it to you soon. For now, I just wanted to introduce you to him.”

Janelle timidly held onto her father's arm, studying Erik closely. He wasn’t much older than her, sadness in his youthful face, shoulders slumped like he’d been defeated more than twice for his young age, and evidence of drying tears on his chubby cheeks. Janelle has a heart of gold. She wanted to run up to Erik and tell him everything would be okay, ask if he wanted to watch cartoons or play a video game. Although all of that seemed promising, Janelle could feel a different type of aura surrounding Erik like a force field. 

“Harrison, can we talk?” Auntie Mara spoke softly as not to startle Erik. This was a new environment for him. 

“... right now?” Harrison kept his eyes on Erik, heaving a sigh that sounded mournful.

“Yes, now.” Auntie Mara lifts from the black suede recliner, flicking on the side lamp that occupied the small reading area. Harrison looked from Erik to Janelle before nodding his head in silent agreement, bending down to speak to Janelle.

“Would you like to sit with Erik to keep him company?”

Harrison squeezes Janelle’s shoulder reassuringly, an encouraging smile on his face that felt forced. 

“He’s a bit on the quiet side but I think he wouldn’t mind,” Janelle’s blank face shown fear, her peripheral able to spot Erik unmoving and sorrowful.

“Can you do that for me, princess?” Harrison sounded as if he were choking on his words like tears wanted to force themselves from his eyes. Hazel eyes met coffee brown, a small smile playing across her lips. 

“That’s my girl,” Harrison kisses Janelle’s forehead leaving behind a warmth that she missed. 

“I promise, I swear to you… I won’t leave you hanging like this again, I love you, Nelle, you mean the world to me.” 

Footsteps sliding across a tile floor caught the young girls attention, her father looking up and over her shoulder at his older sister. Letting out a sigh, Harrison puts up his pinky, eyebrows raised at his little girl.

“Let’s pinky promise,” This was all too easy for her. This is what home felt like. Janelle clasped her father’s larger pinky, swinging it back and forth. Harrison laughs softly, touching foreheads with her before lifting from his knee to follow his impatient sister into the kitchen.

She was finally left alone with Erik. 

Her eyes couldn’t leave his slouched figure.

Taking timid steps, Janelle walks slowly toward him, taking a seat on the same couch but on the opposite end, pushing herself into the corner with her knees drawn to her chest. The only sound was the soft whispers from her father and aunt in the kitchen. To pass some time, Janelle stared closely at the golden wavy lucky fortune cat her father had from his visit to China. Janelle always laughed at it but tonight it looked creepy. A sniffle from the opposite side of the couch pulled her eyes away from the funny-looking statue, landing on the source. Erik was wiping away at his cheeks roughly, side-eyeing Janelle and ashamed that she had caught him.

“It’s okay… I cried earlier too,” Janelle loosened her shoulders, fumbling with her tiny fingers.

“It was embarrassing,” Janelle tried her hand at laughing lightly, but that was clearly the wrong move. Erik looked up at her with those same evil eyes like the girls gave her at the park. They felt foreign: unlike him. Janelle felt that it was forced as if Erik had to feel that way.

“I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean to,” she could have kicked herself. Erik didn’t say a word, turning to look out of the window of the living space. 

“Do you...wanna talk?” Being brave was the only option now. Maybe if he talked to someone his age, it would make him feel a little better.

“No,” his soft voice cracked, head shaking slowly.

“I’m easy to talk to. I could...make you feel better?”

Once again, he shakes his head no.

“Sweets help to. When I’m sad, my dad gives me salted caramel ice cream. You would probably like that,” She couldn’t explain what sparked her, but Janelle scooted closer to Erik. He felt that shift, looking at her as if she had two heads. Pausing, Janelle held her hands in her lap, studying Erik closely. He looked like a child who had one too many nightmares.

“What happened to you?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking. Even the sight of him wanted to make her cry.

“Did someone… hurt you badly?” The nurturing side of her couldn’t stay locked in a cage. 

“Stop asking me questions,” he was flat out and to the point. It stung like venom, but that only drove her to keep going. If he broke down in front of her, she would hold him even though she didn’t know him.

“I’m only trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help. Just… just leave me alone.”

Janelle settles back, defeated and feeling his sad energy to some degree. Silence fell between them both again until Janelle could hear her Auntie Mara whispering angrily.

“You have a daughter here, Harrison. A daughter who asks where her father could be. A daughter who already was abandoned by her mom. And then here you go, bringing some kid into this house like you have to look after him. The system will do that, Harrison.”

Janelle felt Erik move slightly, his fists clenched.

“You wanna know what happened at the park today? Janelle was attacked by a group of white girls who called her names and threatened her. She came home from school in pain and I had to pry it out of her. What kind of father are you? She’s going through things and you aren’t even here to protect her. You’d rather protect a child that isn’t even your own over the one you created? Shame.”

“Do you hear yourself, Mara?! How could you say some shit like that! He’s just a boy. He lost everything and has nothing. I feel responsible. I love Nelle with all my fucking heart, Mara. I know shit is fucked up now but I-I feel responsible for Erik,” 

“Responsible?! Hell, you were just doing your job. You are a detective. Tragedy happens every day.”

“I can’t believe you. I’m the only one that stood up for him. His mom’s family didn’t want anything to do with him. They said he would be too much of a responsibility. Even his own grandmother said that. It’s sickening,” she could hear her father heave a stressful sigh.

“Harrison. I know how hard this may seem, but putting that extra weight on you along with everything else that is going on isn’t logical! Think about Nelle,”

“Oh, I have. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m doing this. What if something happens to me? What if my little girl becomes traumatized like he did? I can’t allow that,”

“She won’t. She’ll have mama and me,” 

It was silent for a fraction.

“And what about Erik?”

The silence stretched on longer. 

Janelle turned on the TV, flipping through channels casually to by some time. Maybe Erik would feel better if he watched TV. Flipping through, a name caught her attention on the News, causing her to stop.

“A young boy, Erik Stevens…”

Janelle blinked rapidly, turning fully to Erik. His picture was on the TV screen, a picture of him and his parents together during a professional family photoshoot. 

“A tragedy that struck a home in Liberty City leaving this ten-year-old boy parentless,”

The News flashed to a candlelight visual being held outside of the home with balloons and various photos. A local reporter was talking to a woman wearing blacked-out shades to cover her teary eyes. 

“How difficult is it to stand outside of the home tonight?”

The woman shook her head in sorrow, a hand clutching her heart.

“This disgusting act has my heart in pieces! I knew this family very well. They were kind, and their son was kind. I can’t imagine what he is going through right now.” She rubbed at her snotty nose.

“Were you friends of the family?”

The woman nodded her head slowly, avoiding the camera lights.

“Neighbors. I grew up with Erika. I just recently got to know N’Jobu.”

Janelle might be nine, but she understood what all of this meant. She felt as if she invaded, turning off the TV instantly. All courage to look at him faded, all she could do was stare at the blank TV screen. 

“Janelle,” 

Her name brought her out of her daze, meeting her father’s worried eyes. 

“Janelle. Go to bed,” Flat tone, and stern eyes were what her father had. She didn’t go looking for Erik’s story on the TV, it just fell in her lap.

“I’m… I’m sorry dad,” tears began to fall, Auntie Mara coming to the rescue as of late. She picked up Janelle, squeezing her tight while glaring at her younger brother. 

“Look at what you caused!!!! Bringing him here and now Nelle knows!!!!! How could you?! HOW COULD YOU?!!” 

Harrison went to step forward but Mara’s angry pointed finger stopped him, almost jabbing him in the chest.

“NO! No…” 

Mara rubbed at Janelle’s sandy brown puffballs, walking away with rage. Janelle looked over her aunties shoulder with desolate eyes, meeting Erik’s crestfallen ones before a storm began to brew. 

———

April 2006, Ryder Trauma Center: 

“How bad is it doc?” 

Janelle tried to keep the yawn that fought to be freed at bay. 

“He’s stable. The surgery went as planned. He’s lucky to still be alive with those injuries.”

Janelle gripped her coffee cup, spilling some on her jeans.

“Shit!” It burned, her fingers trying to wipe it away since she didn’t have any napkins.

“Tired?” The Doctor looked at her with a worrisome face.

“Sleep can wait. When can I see him?” 

The Doctor was cautious to speak, looking at Erik’s closed curtain within the SICU unit.

“He’s… detectives are in their questioning him,”

“WHAT?!” Janelle tossed her coffee, walking past the doctor to Erik’s room. Pulling back the curtain, she found Detective Rivers, her father’s old partner and some rookie cop crowding Erik’s space. If Erik wasn’t in this state, all of them would probably be seriously hurt. 

“What’s going on?!” Janelle folded her arms over her chest angrily, eyes inflamed.

“Janelle,” Rivers had a solemn look in his eyes, slipping his notepad away discreetly.

“How… how are you?”

“How do you think? WHY are you questioning him? Can’t you see he just came from surgery? What’s wrong with you?” She was disgusted.

“Calm down, were just asking Erik what happened two nights ago, isn’t that right, Erik?”

Janelle looked over at her brother, heart aching as she took in the traction device that held his leg and bandages covering his other wounds. 

“Erik. You know you don’t have to talk to them,” 

He was silent with his eyes looking anywhere but at the people surrounding him. 

“He won’t talk. I was questioned already and I told them what I knew. Erik wasn’t involved.” 

“We need to hear that from him,” Rivers squeezes the bridge of his nose in frustration. A pained sound came from Erik, Janelle fisting away her tears with the already wet sleeve of her University of Miami sweater. Hearing that pained sound made her feel pain. Licking at his dry lips, Erik shook slightly as his head turned toward Rivers and his lackey. They all waited with bated breath.

“Y’all motherfuckers disgust me. Crooked, dumb ass cops. Here y’all go, trying to solve one case when there are others of more concern.” Erik’s scratchy painful voice silenced everyone in that room, catching them in his web-like he controlled them. When he talked his eyes watered.

“What about my parents?! Y’all know who did it but yet you won’t bring him in?! Fuck is up with that?! Then Harrison gets killed and you can’t figure out who did that?” He was getting himself worked up, blood pressure spiking.

“Fucking disgusted. I can’t wait to get out of here…” 

Rivers looked at the rookie cop, then at Janelle. He didn’t have a word to say to Erik’s frustration. 

“Wait till I get out of here…” 

Janelle was afraid of the way Erik said those words. What did he mean? There was so much she felt like Erik never shares with her. Whether it was to keep her safe or not, Janelle deserved to know. It was as if her father and Erik had a secret understanding.

“You have plans to go to the Navy, correct?” Rivers tried another tactic, hoping to gain some insight.

“I know people in the Navy, Erik. I could land you a superior job there…”

Janelle wanted to laugh maniacally at that. Here this white man was, trying to make deals with a black man to make him cooperate. That’s what they always did. 

“You think I need you? Fuck makes you think I need you to get me where I can get to on my own. Don’t worry though, I use your kind all the time. Make you think you have power over me. It’s all a game.”

Rivers smiles despite his growing anger at Erik’s spiteful words about his race. Janelle rolled her eyes into her head, Rivers knew Erik was right, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Alright,” Rivers stands, hands on his hips like a typical detective with his badge and gun visible. It was so close to Erik’s face as if he was silently telling him that if he didn’t cooperate things would go bad.

“We’ll keep in touch, Erik. Janelle. Good to see you,” after that dry farewell, Rivers motioned for his rookie to follow him out, leaving Janelle alone with Erik since two days ago.

“Erik,” Janelle took a seat on a chair near his bed, ruffling the sleeves to her sweater.

“Talk to me.” She tilted her head down at him, watching as he turned in the opposite directing toward his heart monitor.

“Why are you punishing me? I’ve done nothing but love you and this is what you do?” She licked her dry lips, hot tears soaking her face yet again. 

“I’m not punishing you, Nelle. You need to worry about getting through Criminology school and beat these whities at their own game.”

“Did you hunt him down? Dad's killer…”

“STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!” Erik’s bed began to beep from all the motion, multiple footsteps being heard as the sound continued. 

“Everything alright?!” A young Asian nurse entered, looking around the room concerned while Erik’s orthopedic doctor trailed in causally begin her.

“Erik, do you want more pain meds? You can’t keep moving so much you’ll disrupt the traction,” 

Erik went silent again as if he were an empty shell. Janelle smoothed her hand over her silk pressed sandy brown hair, pained at what might be the truth.

She hoped it wasn’t the truth.

———

October 1998: Coconut Grove Private Academy

“Umph!”

Janelle felt her body slam into a series of lockers on the third floor of her private school. Her long sandy brown box braids crowded her vision, equilibrium off as she tried to right herself again. That didn’t work for her because another forceful push caused her knees to buckle.

“I SAW YOU LOOKING AT CASSIE IN GYM TODAY!”

Janelle looked up into the eyes of Cody Willis, the eleven-year-old bully. He always picked on Janelle just as much as Nattie did.

“YOU LIKE GIRLS, DON’T YOU?!”

His haunting blue eyes flared down at Janelle like she was infested.

“LEAVE ME ALONE, CODY!” Janelle rubbed at her sore elbow, fighting tears. 

“Why? So you can go after Cassie and try to kiss her with your nasty lips?!!” The other white boys laughed hard, slapping Cody’s back to edge him on.

“Why would ANYONE want to kiss you anyway?! You’re ugly,” 

Janelle knew they talked about her broad nose. She knew they hated her kinky hair. Her fair skin even was frowned upon. 

“YOU WANT TO BE LIKE US SO BAD WITH YOUR YELLOW SKIN. YOUR SKIN LOOKS LIKE A DISEASE.”

Janelle could feel her head being shoved into the locker, screams loud. A door to her far-right swung open causing the boys to move away and act as if nothing was going on. Janelle glared at them, adjusting her oxford top.

“What is all that noise?!” Miss Caldwell, a science teacher, stepped into the hallway with a ruler in hand.

“What is the meaning of this?! Janelle? Boys?”

Janelle was ready to tell it all but Cody’s hard threatening eyes stopped her. 

“N-nothing,” she avoided the woman’s cautious eyes.

“Boys? Is it nothing like miss Morris is saying?”

“YES.” A unison response sprang free, fake smiles on their faces.

Miss Caldwell looked between the children for what felt like minutes before relaxing her shoulders, turning to leave.

“Aren’t you all dismissed?! Get home!” She waves them away before reentering her classroom. Janelle grabbed her backpack from the hallway floor, ready to run away but Cody tripped her, Janelle falling face-first against the floor.

“Bitch,” 

All she could feel was cold tile on the side of her cheek. She needed to leave. She hated this place.

On her way down the steps, Janelle spotted Erik sitting on the bottom steps, a black eye, and a lifeless gaze. This was normal for him. Erik was known to be the fighter in school. The loner. Although everyone followed after Cody and all his friends, none of them messed with Erik. Janelle rolled her eyes, stepping in front of him with her arms folded.

“Fighting again? My dad is gonna be pissed,” 

“So?!” Erik spoke with malice.

“So is you can’t keep fighting every day! You’ll get kicked out of the school!”

“I don’t give a fuck about this school!” His fists clenched. As angry as he was he noticed a slight bruise on Janelle’s cheek. 

“How did you get that, Nelle?” His voice was soft but it held danger.

“No reason. I fell in gym class  today during a game of basketball.” Janelle began walking away, trying to avoid the conversation completely.

“Let’s go! We have to make it home for dinner,” 

Janelle stopped in her tracks, noticing how Erik didn’t budge.

“Oh my God,” she rolled her eyes at him.

“What now?”

“You’re lying. It’s Cody this time around, isn’t it?”

She could feel herself breaking out into a nervous sweat.

“Screw Cody! He’s a loser.”

“Janelle. I know when you’re lying,” Erik grabbed his bag, walking past her.

“You go ahead home. Tell Harrison that I’m staying after to play ball,”

“I’m not lying for you,” Janelle stuck her nose in the air.

“Yeah, you will. You will or I’ll tell him about Cody picking on you.”

Janelle knew Erik wouldn’t do it but the thought of him doing it caused her to give in and groan.

“FINE! But you owe me your fudge cookies at lunch tomorrow,” 

“I don’t care, those things are fucking nasty anyway.”

Janelle shoves Erik, skipping away and out the main entrance.

“Don’t be too long!!!” She singsonged, never noticing the vengeful look in Erik’s eyes. 

His homicidal urge couldn’t be stopped. The little voice in his head that he referred to as “the dark passenger” invaded his brain like bad nerve cells did a brain-damaged victim. Harrison tried to control his sociopathic tendencies with guidance, but all that failed at this moment.

Cody has to die.

The fucking vermin picked on the wrong girl.

Even though Erik had a hard time considering Janelle to be his sister after two years, he still felt the urge to protect her like a big brother should. His internal feeling of emptiness needs to be fed with blood and rage. Sadly, it’s what made him feel alive. Everything he did to fit in with the world around him felt like a disguise. Any emotional attachment repelled him like off spray.

One week later: 

“Nelle, Erik,”

Harrison approached Nelle while she was playing with her spy kit, Erik sitting on the patio with her, playing his game boy with intense competitive eyes. 

“Hey, check this out, dad!” Nelle showed her father a fingerprint she dusted for fake evidence. Despite his pained expression, Harrison smiled at her success.

“That’s wonderful, baby. You’ll make a great forensic scientist someday,” Harrison ruffled her braided bun, turning a keen eye on Erik. 

“You guys go to school with Cody Wills?”

Erik continued to play as if he didn’t hear Harrison ask him a question, biting down on his full bottom lip. Janelle, however, shivered at the name. She heard about Cody being hospitalized for the severe concussion he obtained while at the park just a week ago.

“Yeah, we know Cody,” Janelle spoke up for Erik. 

Harrison looked between them both before taking a seat on his patio chair, running a stressful hand over the top of his bald head.

“Um, I’m afraid I have bad news regarding Cody,” 

Janelle avoided her father's eyes, looking down into her lap. Silence filled the space except for Erik’s game music. Harrison studied Erik closely, opening his mouth to speak.

“He died today from complications. I don’t feel like neither of you should know the extent of it but I at least wanted to make you aware of it. His family is really going through a tough time.”

Janelle felt bad but not as bad. Cody was mean to her for no reason. He hit her, called her names, even threw things at her. She couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t wish death upon him a few times while crying in the bathroom during lunch break.

“Hey, don’t look so sad, Nelle,” Harrison lifts her chin.

He places a soft kiss to her forehead, lifting to his feet to approach Erik. Harrison crouched down to his eye view, head tilted in concern. The exchange frightened Janelle. Erik acted as if Harrison wasn’t even there like he was in his own little bubble.

Harrison let out a shaky breath before ruffling Erik’s braids, lifting to his feet again, turning to enter the house. Harrison was so patient with Erik even after he completely ignored the news about Cody. Janelle decided to start some mischief, picking up a tiny pebble, tossing it at Erik. Like he sensed it, Erik catches the pebble, throwing it into the yard.

“Show off,” Janelle stuck her tongue out at him.

“Jealous?” He gave her a wicked smile.

“No! I can do a lot of cool stuff too,” she folded her arms.

“Like what?” Erik paused his game, staring at Janelle fully with humor in his eyes.

“I can beat your high score on that game!” Erik barked out a burst of laughter, brushing Janelle off.

“Yeah ared,” Like he never left, Erik began playing the game again, his scarred knuckles gaining Janelle’s attention. She looked from his hand to his face, wondering how he got those scars.

————

Two months later: 2006

“Are you going to tell me what happened? Ever?”

Janelle dried the last plate before placing it in the cabinet of her Aunt's home. This is where she returned to since her other home was tarnished with the death of her father.

“Nah, you don’t need to know.” Erik sipped lightly on a glass of water, Naval Academy uniform folded neatly in front of him. He was leaving her behind. No questions answered, just leaving like nothing happened. Erik was tough but he didn’t always need to be. He acted like a shell at times and it scared Janelle.

“Why the Navy?” Erik was smart, he graduated high school with honors and awards, and now he was on his way to Annapolis for the Naval Academy. It all seemed weird to Janelle. Maybe he had a plan after all. She only hoped that it would exterminate his demons. It was nothing but trouble in Miami for Erik. 

“I need to focus on building myself. I feel like if I stay here, I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of horror with what happened to my parents. I need to move on to bigger and better things, Nelle.”

Janelle also took that as a way for Erik to be rid of anything that involved her father too. Harrison helped Erik as much as he could, but clearly not enough.

“Besides, Mara ass doesn’t like me anyway,” Erik smiles into his glass.

“Not even remotely funny,” Janelle fights the urge to ask Erik where he was and why he’d been shot. Ironically, news coverage that same day announced finding the body of a man named Darrell Wilde who was in and out of jail on drug charges and could possibly be the one who murdered her father. Janelle didn’t believe it. There were so many suspects involved, and none of it seemed true. She looked at Erik then, trying to find the answers but instead he stared at that TV like he was staring off into space before blinking rapidly like someone snapped him out of a trance. It sent a chill up her spine.

“You’ll never tell me who shot you will you?” 

She pretended to be preoccupied with the old microwave her aunt had for years but her emotions got the best of her.

“That was a stupid mistake I’ll never make again. I can’t go looking for trouble unprepared you know what I’m saying? The Navy can help me with that…”

Erik smiles, trying to make light of the situation, his toned arms wide.

“I’m gonna be a future JSOC one day! Be happy for me, Nelle!”

“Happy?” She was growing angry with his dismissive attitude. 

“I’m surprised you even know what that is. You never show an ounce of real emotion and now you're smiling and laughing like everything is okay. I can’t tell what’s fake or real with you.”

Erik’s smile faded, arms dropping to his sides and form stiff. Janelle could see right through him. She knew Erik put a veil over himself to blend in when deep down everything was a raging storm within him. 

“You don’t have to hide it from me,” The tears leaked onto her chest. Erik felt uncomfortable near her, unsure of how to make her feel any different. Raw emotion like this frightened him. 

“I’m the only one that cares.”

“I know… but you gotta trust me on this.”

Erik walked up to Nelle, pulling her into an awkward hug, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. He rubbed at her back stiffly, jaw tight from the affection. 

“I love you, Erik. Don’t forget about me.” 

Those words were like a blow to his rough exterior. Did he love Nelle? Sure he cared for her in some way, whichever way that was for him. Erik wished that he could just feel like humans feel. Every time he tried, the demons within him brought him back to hell. 

But Erik swore to protect Janelle from then on.

And he was a man of his word. 

—————

Present Day: July 5th, 2019:

“Because blood demonstrates surface tension or cohesive forces that act as an outer skin, a drop of blood dropped at a 90° angle forms a near-perfect spherical shape. A smooth surface, such as tile or linoleum, will cause little distortion of this spherical shaped drop, whereas a rougher surface, such as carpet or concrete, disrupts the surface tension and causes the drops to break apart.”

Erik turned to his sister and criminologist. 

She brought her notes to his apartment in South Beach to help her with a case that landed on her desk.

“Look at all of these pictures I took of the crime scene,” Janelle spread the photos over Erik’s recycled glass coffee table, forehead wrinkled in frustration. 

“It just… it’s not adding up to me.”

“Nelle, you’re a criminologist. Use all those smarts you have and put two and two together,” Erik took a swig of his drink.

“These blood spatters are all different. You may be looking at two different types of kills.”

Janelle ran a hand through her pressed sandy brown hair, laughing to mask her frustration.

“Two? I figured that and Doakes didn’t want to listen to me. He thinks he knows everything under the sun.” Erik huffed, the corners of his lips turning down in disinterest at the mention of that name.

“He’s a dirty cop. He’s trying to cover up the shit he’s not supposed to do by making you look bad. You want me to handle him for you?” 

Erik’s palm itched for some action. He didn’t like anyone bothering his sister.

“Ha, I can handle Doakes. He talks and walks like his dick is big but it’s all a front. I think he likes me… too bad I prefer pussy,” Janelle laughs, watching as Erik joins in. 

“You laugh like you agree with me, bro. What’s up with you Mr. Bachelor? No lucky woman melting that ice-cold heart of yours?” Janelle raised a playful brow at her brother.

“I don’t have time for that,” Erik played with his sweating glass, rubbing it over his thumb causing a print to form within the water. His fingerprint was a mixture of whorl and tentarch. 

Janelle snorted loudly, the alcohol catching up to her and she was only on glass number two.

“So? Carmen doesn’t ring a bell?”

Erik opens and closed his mouth like a fish, unsure of how to answer that. Janelle always threw him for a loop. 

“How the fuck do you even know about Carmen?”

“You’re such a dick head,” unspoken, her eyes traveled to his upturned phone, “Carmen has been calling you since I got here.” 

Erik casually flipped his phone over, eyes occupied with the wall space behind Janelle littered with trophy weapons.

“Are you avoiding her? You could at least tell the girl you’re not interested.”

“She thinks I’m mysterious,” Erik made a weird face.

“She’s a loner who’s intrigued with my mystery.” Erik found that to be comical. Carmen was a part of Erik’s disguise. She helped add to his “normal” life outside of who he really was. He hadn’t even touched her yet but he couldn’t deny that the chick didn’t feed his curiosity. A girl never made him curious.

“Maybe you can be apart of her own little world. Maybe she needs that… maybe you need that.” 

Janelle was all but hinting to Erik that he needed to settle down. Although she had her suspicions that her brother was disinterested in any aspect of romantics, she could only hope that one day that will change him. 

“I worry about you nigga,” Janelle worried about Erik every damn day. 

“What did I tell you about that shit? Worrying over me is like picking at a scab that won’t heal.”

He felt like he was eating his own words.

“You live alone in the gloomy fucking apartment, hardly go out and do anything, sleep on your boat in the middle of the ocean, blank out in the middle of conversations like some crazy person,” Janelle paused to catch her breath.

“If there was ever anything wrong, would you talk to me about it?” Janelle all but crowded Erik’s little bubble, eyes soft. She placed her slender hand over his, hoping to gage some kind of reaction, even a flinch would be acceptable. 

“Depends on what it is,” His eyes met hers, the cinnamon orbs flickering with a hint of black.

“You talk like you're some kind of serial killer,” Janelle laughs heartily, shoving playfully at Erik’s shoulder. Erik’s warm hand slips away from hers, falling into his lap. Janelle’s smile faded, her fingers nervously placing her hair behind her ears. All she could see seated in front of her was that little ten-year-old boy that she met that awful evening. Reaching forward, Janelle tugs on one of Erik’s dreads, attempting to get a smile out of her brother. 

“You need a trim,” SHe ruffles it like the hairs of a dog, successfully snapping him out of his gloomy phase.

“Here you go acting like somebody mama,” Erik slaps her hand away, shaking his head with a tired smile. At least she got a smile out of it.

“I am your mama!” Janelle settles back on her side of the table, legs folded Indian style like she was back in kindergarten. 

“Whatever, you know me and Regina are having a housewarming. Not that you enjoy social events but I would like to see you there with Camren. I want to meet her… whatever she is to you.”

Erik picked at the dreads framing his forehead, deep in thought about being surrounded with those humans. Erik considers himself emotionally divorced from the rest of humanity; in his narration, he refers to “humans” as if he is not one himself. He claims that all of his emotional responses are part of a well-rehearsed act to conceal his true nature. He has no interest in romance or sex; considering his “relationship” with Carmen to be part of his disguise. 

“Fine. Should we bring something?”

“Just some good liquor,” Janelle gathered her notes, placing them into her work bag before standing with a pained expression.

“Jesus, I feel like I’m 50,” Janelle stretched her back, shaking out her limbs before slipping her heels back on.

“Get some sleep, Erik. That insomnia isn’t something to play with,”

“Are you trying to school me on sleep? I bet once you get home you’ll be up all night poring over your notes until 5 am,” 

Shrugging without guilt, Janelle shoulders her bag, “my job calls for it. You have no reason to be up so late without a 9 to 5. I envy that sometimes. Just bullshitting around.” 

“I’ve earned the right to bullshit around with all the work I put myself through,” Erik prided himself not only in his kills but in his success as well. 

Janelle wished she could sometimes live day to day without working for anyone but she loved what she did. She did it to prove to the whities and the slackers that she could solve the cases thrown at her one by one. 

“As much passion that you have for your job, Nelle, I doubt it,” Erik walks Janelle to the door, opening it for her only to be startled by Carmen. Grunge and vibrant and she hadn’t said a word yet. Her cat-like eyes looked from Erik to Janelle with suspicion, Janelle ready to clarify EVERYTHING so Carmen didn’t get the wrong idea. 

“Carmen?” He stared at her with confusion, ignoring his sisters scheming smile.

“So you’re Carmen? Hi, I’m Janelle, Erik’s sister,” Janelle greeted Carmen with a friendly handshake, studying the dark girl standing before her dressed in all black from head to toe, short curly mane, and piercings. 

“Nice to meet you. Erik didn’t tell me he had a sister.” Janelle stared blankly at him, eyes swimming with questions that needed answers. Janelle could feel the tension brimming, deciding to leave now before things toppled over.

“Talk to you later, E. Don’t forget,” like a mother, she pointed a stern finger at him before saying goodbye to Carmen, closing the door behind her.

@te-amo-corazon​ @alexundefined​ @vibranium-chakra​ @shegoego​ @goddessofthundathighs @mysidefanting  @hidden-treasures21 @shookmcgookqueen @forgottenthoughtsandmemories @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @drsunshine97 @shesakillerkween @jozigrrl @deja-r @forbeautyandlife @n-jadaddy @janelledarling @loosewindmill @disneysdarlingdiva @youcantkillamutant @youreadthatright @softnani @purple-apricots @uhlxisback @blue-sunflowerr @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @unfriendly-blk-hottie @supersizemeplz @abeautifulmindexposed @laketaj24 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bidibidibombaclaat​ @whorderofthepheonix​ @wifin-niggaz​ @wakandas-vibranium​ @wakanda-4evr​ @wakanda-inspired​ @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-princess​ @madamslayyy​ @chaneajoyyy​ @erikismybitch​ @erikslulbaby​ @erikkillingmesoftly​ @eriksjournal​ @eriks-girl​ @thiccdaddy-mbaku​ @muse-of-mbaku​ @hoopshoney​ @bartierbakarimobisson​  @killmongersgurl​ @killmongersaidheyauntie​ @killmongerdispussy​ @killmonger-dolan​ @killmongurl​ @killmongerthirst​ @killmongerthiskoochie​ @thehomierobbstark​ @trevantesbrat​ @panthergoddessbast​ @vikkidc​ @hearteyes-for-killmonger​ @heyauntieeee​ @highlifeflylife​ @ayeitsmi @sweettea-and-honeybutter​ @ayellepea​ @bakarijordan​ @unholyxcumbucket​ @teheeboo​ @killmonger-bakari​ @tiava143​ @quietstorm-73​ @raysunshine78​ @savagescorpion​ @blxckquiescent​ @theblulife​ @ljstraightnochaser @theblulife

[jimblejamblewritings]

romeo and...cullen? | part 2.

Summary: Y/N Cullen, youngest in both actual age and last to be turned in the Cullen clan. Her world is turned upside down when Bella Swan enters her family’s life, because Bella doesn’t bring just herself but drags some of her friends into the Cullen’s life as well.

Warnings for the Series: light violence, light angst, light smut

Pairing: Jacob Black x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“You seem nothing like your brother,” Bella said as you waited in line for popcorn.

“Hmm?”

“You’re…how do I put this… nicer.”

“Right, I heard what happened in biology. Don’t mind my brother, he’s emotional. Seriously, mood swings out the wazoo with that one sometimes. You probably caught him at an off time. He’ll be back soon and you can say something then.”

You both reached for the bucket of popcorn at the same time, Bella’s hand pulled back quickly.

“You’re freezing.”

Crap, you thought.

“Um yeah, I have really poor circulation,” you said the first lie that came to mind.

“You should probably get that checked out.”

“My dad’s a doctor, if he says I’m not dead then it’s nothing to worry over.”

Bella didn’t say anything else. She just grabbed the popcorn and you walked into the theater.

Edward grabbed the cup of blood from your hand and took a sip.

“Eww, what is this?”

“Raccoon, and next time ask before you just take my food,” you said grabbing my cup back.

“I thought you didn’t even like blood, you and your people food.”

“You know I still need it to function a bit. Speaking of people food, well, people… you could try to act human you know. You should apologize to Bella on Monday. I mean I know you like to reject every girl at school but this time was mean.”

“You don’t get it.”

“Enlighten me.”

“La Tua…”

“Cantante,” you finished for him, “That’s who mom was talking about? You’re in love with Isabella Swan?!”

Edward sighed and rested his arms on the kitchen island. “In love and completely overwhelmed by her very scent.”

“Well, I can’t be of much advice but whatever you do Ed, don’t kill her. I kinda like this little town and I’d like to stay as long as possible. Murdering the chief’s daughter is definitely a one way ticket to moving.”

“Thank you, (Y/F/N).”

“Love you too, man.”

Bella and you walked towards her truck. You had gotten a ride with her that morning. Regardless of however Edward felt towards Bella, she wasn’t that bad to you. You could even say you had become somewhat friends. You leaned against the truck as she fished through her bag for her car keys.

“You’re still staying for dinner? Your folks are cool with it?”

“Yeah, Carlisle and Esme are pretty chill parents. We have a good amount of free reign.”

You looked over to where your siblings were standing by their cars watching you and Bella and not just talking like every other student probably thought they were. They all seemed to watch with vague interest aside from Rosalie and Edward. You couldn’t read Edward’s face but Rosalie’s was pretty obvious. If it was any other student she probably wouldn’t care; but, you being friends with your brother’s bloodsinger rubbed her all sorts of the wrong way. She had a bad feeling about danger coming to your family.

Tell Rose, even though she’s a vamp if she keeps scowling she’ll manage to get wrinkles, you thought, purposely directing it towards Edward.

He chuckled and shook his head. Before you could think of anything else, you heard the screeching of tires against the icy parking lot. Everything moved in slow motion. You saw Tyler’s van barreling towards Bella’s truck and your siblings go wide-eyed.

You couldn’t move. The screeching sounded so familiar. You weren’t standing in the school parking lot anymore. You were in a flipped over car, blood everywhere. This wasn’t real but you still couldn’t bring myself to do anything to snap out of the vision. The sound of tires still ringing in your ear.

You watched in horror as Edward raced over to where you were standing. Even as he stopped Tyler’s van and crouched over Bella, you were frozen. It wasn’t until Edward pulled on your wrist that you met his eyes and snapped out of it. Your brother quickly fled the scene and you bent down along with several others to check that Bella wasn’t injured.

No one paid attention to Rosalie, Edward, Carlisle, and you as you guys argued in the small hallway of the hospital. Your dad and sister weren’t exactly keen on Edward racing in to save the day.

“I wouldn’t have had to run if (Y/N) moved.”

“Just because you gave away our secret doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole to me Ed. I’ll see you guys back at the house, let me know when you’ve figured out what we’re telling Bella.”

You tried to walk out as calmly as you could. Edward could really be a douche sometimes, it’s not like he didn’t know why you froze up. He’s seen it in your thoughts a thousand times.

You raced to the school, careful to make sure no one saw, in order to grab Bella’s truck and drop it back off at her house. The old truck was honestly a piece of junk. You don’t care how much Bella liked it, this thing moved so slow. Charlie’s cruiser wasn’t in sight when you pulled up; but another car was. You took the keys out of the truck’s ignition and used the house key to let yourself in.

“Is Bella okay, Charlie?” A man’s voice rang out.

“It’s not Charlie, I’m just here to drop off Bella’s keys!”

“Hmm?”

You placed the keys in the kitchen and then walked over to the living room to show myself. Upon meeting the eyes of Billy Black, you regretted not having just left without saying anything.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Jacob said, sitting next to his dad on the couch.

“Hi, Jacob. Hello, Mr. Black. What are you guys doing here?”

“Watching the game with Charlie before he got called by the hospital. Told us to stay and he’ll be right back.”

“Oh well I was, um, just saying I was here to drop off Bella’s car and her keys. She’s fine. The van did more damage to the truck than anything else. I’ll just be going now, can you tell Bella her keys are on the table.”

“If you dropped off her truck do you need a ride home?” Jacob stood up from the couch.

“Oh, um I don’t know…”

“Jacob, the girl’s fine.” Billy’s eyes never left you.

“It’s fine, dad. I’ll be back in a minute. You ready, (Y/N)?”

Jacob walked past you and his dad and towards the front door. You quickly shuffled past Billy mumbling a ‘nice to meet you’ and walked with Jacob towards his car.

“Did you really just change the station from Rock ‘N Roll Classics for who even is this?” Jake asked as you turned the dial on the radio. You were halfway through the drive.

“I like rock it’s just Aerosmith’s not really my thing. Don’t tell me you’re a genre purist.”

“I’m not a genre purist. I like pop, it’s just Madonna…I don’t know.”

“So you admit you know who this is!” You laughed as Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Okay, yes I know Madonna. Guilty as charged.”

“I knew it,” you said with a satisfied grin. “Pull off here.”

“This is the woods?”

“Yeah, just right here. It’s a road, I can just walk the rest of the way.”

“I’m not letting you walk the woods alone when we’re already this close.”

There was no point in arguing with Jacob. He didn’t know what was really going on in the world around him; and, there was no rational reason you could give for why he shouldn’t drive you all the way home without revealing everything. You just sat back and continued to point him in the direction of the house.

“Woah, nice place,” He said as he pulled up.

“Yeah, Esme really has a thing for design. Thanks for dropping me off Jacob.” You unfastened my seatbelt and got out.

“Eh, it was nothing really.” Jacob looked like he was going to say something else when you could feel Emmett and Jasper come up behind you.

“He was just dropping me back home. I was riding with Bella this morning, remember.”

You knew they could smell the wet dog all throughout the car, evidence of Billy and potentially Jacob’s true nature.

“Thanks again, Jacob.”

He nodded. “Hey, um. I was wondering if you weren’t too busy maybe we could do something next week?”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Jasper’s Texan accent slipped out a little.

“Oh whatever, Jas. Here.” you handed Jacob your phone so he could put in his number. “Just text me and we’ll figure something out.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll catch you around. Better get back to my old man. See you later (Y/N).”

You waved as he drove away. Ignoring the slight growls from your brothers, you walked into the house.

“Really, (Y/N)? First the human girl and now a werewolf boy.”

“Potential werewolf boy… well, more shifter if you think about it.”

“Not the point.”

(Part 3)...

[harryandmolly]

i could write it better than you ever felt it - one

A/N: I’m dedicating this fic to the author of the first fics I fell in love with as a curious middle schooler on Quizilla, soxlongxjimmy. Thanks for the memories.

Warnings: Language, miscreants being miscreants

Word count: 3.2k

Val rolls over, blindly scrabbles for the cherry red Sidekick blaring “Miss Murder” under her tufted black PB Teen comforter.

“Raf Calling”

Val stifles a knowing smile, though she’s alone in her bedroom. She answers, lifts the phone to her ear.

“How much do you love me?” he asks, a self-deprecating chuckle in his voice.

Val giggles back. “Enough.”

+

Rafael and Valentina Moreno were born at 6:43 and 7:04 (respectively) on the morning of April 22, 1985. From then on, it was chaos.

Two was quite enough children for ambitious professors Miguel and Fernanda Moreno. They were scholars, children of knowledge, who wanted a small, quiet family. They envisioned docile walks on the beach, Saturday trips to museums, maybe the occasional University of Miami football game.

They got Raf and Val instead. The twins were at each other’s throats nearly from the time they were born – Miguel tells a story every holiday season of placing both babies in the same crib to bond when they were a few months old. The new parents turned around for a minute and looked back to see Val rolling on top of Raf trying to smush his face into the cushions.

From then on, separate cribs.

But the twins, despite their ongoing hostilities, couldn’t be separated. It was as though their energies thrived on one another. One summer when they were 12, Raf left for sleepaway soccer camp. A few days in, Val woke her mother up in the middle of the night in tears begging them to bring her brother home. He came back at the end of the summer and two days later she threw an ice cream cone in his face.

Miguel and Fernanda were faced with a new reality – noise. Their kids were loud before they even picked up their respective instruments. The Morenos thought music lessons would be a good outlet for their wild children, so they had them classically trained from a young age. Once again, their good intentions wrought chaos. Valentina was a menace on the drums – though a very talented, well trained menace. And Rafael was a gifted guitar player.

It wasn’t until they were 14 and started sharing practice space in the Morenos’ garage that they could be in the same room without ripping each other’s heads off.

And then, against all odds, they joined forces. The Moreno twins finally discovered they were stronger together than apart. That’s not to say they didn’t still fight like cats and dogs, but they loved each other just as viciously as they bickered. Miguel and Fernanda could live with that. They had to.

Streets of Gold was a stupid pet project, it wasn’t supposed to be anything. Until it was.

Val was original music buff of the family. She used to sit in her closet with the door shut and the lights off listening to her dad’s record collection. It made her feel cool, listening to old vinyl. But she didn’t really get it until she got around to hearing The Ramones’ “Rocket to Russia” for the first time. Everything changed then for the Morenos.

Raf was hesitant at first – could he really let himself like something Val discovered, something Val thought was cool? But he couldn’t hold out long. Because it was cool. It was really cool.

Valentina became the Encyclopedia Brown of pop-punk. You could name a song and she could tell you what band, what album, what year it dropped, whether or not it was a single, and what label released it. She was a goddamn savant. Raf started using her like she was a walking party trick with his friends, some of whom also started to think pop-punk was cool.

Streets of Gold started, as many shitty garage bands do, as a blink-182 cover band. They played birthday parties, then house parties, then veteran halls, then underground Miami clubs. They were signed by Stuck in the Suburbs Records in 2002 and struck out on their first supporting tour. They’ve barely been home since.

Everything changed once again for the Moreno family when Val took a step back. She loved the band, loved the music, even loved touring, but there was a piece of her that was more like her parents than she ever realized or wanted to admit. She craved learning and missed academia after she finished her GED. She secretly applied to the University of Miami and sought out her replacement for the band, gearing up for a fight.

Raf lost it, at first. They had the worst knock-down, drag-out sibling fight of their entire lives. It ended in tears with Raf holding Val against his chest as they sobbed. They started training her replacement Naveen the next day.

Among Val’s fondest memories of drumming in Streets of Gold are the two years she spent with the band on Warped Tour. Warped was every scene kid’s wet dream, every garage band’s Woodstock. It was the be all, end all of pop-punk music. Warped is a fickle mistress – it makes and it breaks, it gives and it takes and it’s not for the faint of heart.

They call it rock band summer camp, and it is. It’s day after day of heat and sweat and drugs and sex and music, so much fucking music. But the showers are scarce and sleeping in a van with five guys, driving through the night to reach the next stop, it wears on you.

But it’s all about the kids. They come in droves, self-professed outcasts in girls’ skinny jeans, hair Manic Panic-ed and razored past the point of recognition, the uniform of kids without a cause. They gather like the Island of Misfit Toys for a chance at community, to throw themselves into a world they recognize, a world they’ve created for themselves. It reflects them, it accepts them, it inspires them, and Warped Tour is where it truly comes alive.

The kids wait for hours in the heat, withstand insane conditions to see their favorite bands. They go hard, they leave it all out on the fields, in the amphitheaters, screaming their lungs out as thanks for giving them somewhere to belong. It’s a chorus of angst and otherness and, somehow, hope. It’s Valentina’s favorite song. And she misses it.

Raf dropped the hint two weeks ago that there might be a chance at return for Val. Things are different now – Streets of Gold is starting and finishing the 2007 Vans Warped Tour on the main Lucky Stage, a far cry from their humble beginnings playing to a handful or a dozen curious onlookers from Hot Topic Kevin Says. They have a bus now with a shower and actual air conditioning and, holy shit, they have actual bunks.

And their merch guy Jamie, Raf told her casually, has to step away from the tour due to a family financial situation. Can’t be avoided. They’re checking their network for replacements, but, if they can’t find someone in time, could he beg her to come along? One last summer on the Warped Tour before she leaves for the UK in the fall?

Val played it cool – “I’m exhausted,” she reminded him, “After everything this year…” (And she doesn’t need to elaborate, because he knows all too well) “And I just graduated…”

But the truth is, Val found herself wondering about it. She hasn’t been on tour in three full years. She’s gotten her fixes visiting their shows, bobbing her head from side stage singing the words she still writes for the band with her brother, but it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same.

After only a few days, Val wasn’t just wondering – she was hoping. She had it wrapped around her heart now, this idea of returning to something that always brought her hope and comfort when she needed it. And like she told Raf, after the year she’s had…

She got the call four days before the first stop in Pomona. Raf needed her. She’d better start packing.

She couldn’t wait for the summer at the Warped Tour, she remembers the first time that she saw him there.

+

“Oh, thank fucking Christ!”

Shawn rolls his eyes and throws the lurching white van into park. It scuttles to a stop.

“Shut the fuck up, dude,” Shawn mumbles, wrenching his rusty door open and stepping out onto the grass to survey the area.

Francis’s head pops up over the roof of the van wearing a disapproving glare.

“All in favor of banning Shawn from driving for the rest of the tour, say aye!” Francis crows.

A chorus of ayes fall out of the sliding doors of the 15-passenger van as they open and pour smelly 20-somethings out. Shawn sighs and plants his hands on his hips.

“I got us here an hour before we were supposed to be, I deserve credit for that,” he whines, sliding his Ray Bans up into his dark curls.

Francis looks unimpressed. “You nearly killed us all at least four times. You don’t get shit.”

“Maybe this was his strategy,” Bobby offers with an eyebrow lifted conspiratorially, “Maybe he pretends to be a shitty driver so he can get out of driving the van between stops.”

Shawn smirks. “I’ve been a shitty driver since I was 15. That’s a long con.”

“Alright, assholes, time to start unloading,” calls a voice from near the trunk. Shawn groans and licks his lips, flicking at the black enameled ring he got pierced there a couple months ago.

He ambles back to where the truck has pulled up beside their rickety van. Andrew climbs out and runs a hand through his hair. “Shawn, man, you’re fucking impossible to follow. You were doing 85 on the freeway, you know that?”

Shawn opens his mouth to defend himself when the rest of his band starts choking on laughter. He holds up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fuckers. Drive yourselves.”

Shawn turns and looks around at the Pomona Fairgrounds. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life. There are stages going up left and right, tents and skate ramps and those inflatable floating human-shaped things that flop around and wave at car dealerships. It’s mania, and he’s so fucking excited about it.

Warped Tour has always been the dream. It’s always been a reality just out of reach. Always a spectator, never the spectated.

He’s been nomadic for the past few years since he first picked up a guitar and started playing old The Starting Line and Jimmy Eat World covers. He’s been in at least eight different bands, all of which showed promise at the start and ended in various states of the decay of teenage boredom. No one wanted to go the distance with him, not until he met Francis, Bobby and Seth through friends of friends of friends. Then suddenly, Warped Tour wasn’t just within reaching distance, it was fucking happening.

Shawn’s a sentimental sap so he’s standing on the hill overlooking the manifestation of his dreams. Seth, the band’s fan-anointed “quiet one,” claps a hand on his shoulder.

“We fuckin’ made it, man,” he reminds Shawn breathlessly. Shawn chokes on an emotional inhale and nods.

They’ve gotten good at load-in now. Everyone has their assigned tasks and Andrew’s a seasoned enough tour manager to be able to wrangle them into efficiency. Or, near efficiency. They’re a little distracted today, overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all.

They’re quieter, too. They’ve felt big in their britches for awhile, having been invited out on tour supporting bands like Valencia, My American Heart and All Time Low. But this is a new ballgame. They’re very much little fish in a giant fucking pond, a very intimidating pond.

They stare at the buses of pop-punk legends as they wade past with amps and instruments and risers in hand, feeling like it’s the first day of kindergarten and the eighth graders are all settled in and looking cooler than anyone ever has ever. Shawn actually, embarrassingly enough, nods in reverence at Streets of Gold’s bus. He’s glad none of his band and crew notice and razz him for it.

Being new and not a huge crowd draw, they’re one of the first bands of the day on their designated Smartpunk stage. Shawn doesn’t so much mind playing Smartpunk. It’s a small stage but plenty of amazing bands have gotten started there. He’s just happy to be on the tour. And if they impress and end up drawing in some attention and wind up spending a couple of tour dates on Hurley.com or even, dare he dream it, the Hurley stage, he’ll be a happy kid.

But at 19, with his best friends at his side and their sophomore album release date coming up in only a month, Shawn feels like he’s at the edge of the world looking at the start of something he can’t quite make out yet, but it feels so fucking good.

+

Val is already sweating her balls off, no surprise there.

She’s had some merch girl experience, naturally, having been with the band since its infancy, a time where everyone wears a lot of hats. But now that Streets is a bona fide Warped Tour Band, a destination, a band people make the trip to see, it’s a new ballgame.

She unloads box after box of shirts, hats, hoodies, wristbands, CDs, booty shorts, whatever else they can hawk at an upcharge. Raf and Naveen eagerly help her and she suspects they’re trying to play nice because they know she didn’t have to come on tour and help them. Val doesn’t want to get used to it – in about a week, they’ll be a lot less eager to haul boxes around and will make themselves scarce.

As she’s setting up the tent above the table, she looks around with a smile.

Returning to Warped feels a little like coming home. It’s a dry, hot, smelly home with sun-scorched grass underfoot and an overabundance of men in women’s jeans but there’s just something about it—

“BABYYYYYY!” cries a voice that belongs to a woman who soon careens straight into Val’s side.

“Oh my fucking god!” Val squeals, throwing her arms around the violet haired cling on. She bounces back and forth as they laugh and babble incoherently.

Finally, she pulls away and Val holds her by the shoulders to look at her.

“Why, Bea Easton, look at you!” Val giggles.

Bea, all four-foot-eleven inches of her, strikes a pose complete with duck face and popped hips in her low-slung Bullhead skinnies. She breaks into a laugh, shaking her head.

“Miss me, Moreno?”

“So much that I’m back on tour with these hooligans again,” Val sighs, angling her head at her bus where her tourmates are arguing over the Xbox.

Bea chuckles. “Thank god. It was getting dull in the scene without you.”

Val shoots her a suspiciously amused glance. Bea makes an exasperated noise, throwing her hands up.

“Well the scene is never fucking dull, that’s kind of the point, but I missed you, kid! You’re not so easily replaced, you know.”

Val scrunches her face and pulls Bea into a proper hug, tucking her face into her freshly-dyed hair and rubbing her back. “Ditto, dude. College was cool but… I couldn’t really resist one last shot at all this.”

Bea stands back and loops her arm around Val’s waist as they observe. After a moment, Bea pinches Val’s side gently.

“Hey, how are you?”

Val’s body tightens instinctively. She knows Bea feels it. Bea only asked a question everyone’s been asking her for months. And Val’s still shit at pretending it doesn’t bug the fuck out of her.

“I’m fine. Really. I went to the doctor recently and he did some tests and confirmed that I’m human and not a big walking china doll.”

Bea’s bleached eyebrows lift as she smirks. “Point taken. Have you started checking out the talent, then?”

Val scoffs. “You and your locker room talk.”

“This is what equality looks like, bitch. But seriously, tell me that’s not half the reason you’re here. A little palette cleanser.”

Val runs her tongue across her lower lip. Bea knows her oh so well.

She elbows Bea gently. “Stop that, I already have a reputation,” she hisses teasingly.

“Mmm, that’s right,” Bea replies, playing along, “The biggest slut in the scene is back on Warped Tour. Better start lining up for a taste.”

Val laughs heartily, shaking her head. “I swear to god, Bea, you—”

She stops dead in her sentence, words have failed her. Her brain fritzes out. She stares straight ahead, exhales in a loud puff. Bea notices and turns to look at what, or who, Val has spotted.

He’s tall. That’s probably the first thing anybody ever notices about him. He’s really fucking tall. He’s also not as scrawny as the rest of the twiggy white boys that populate the scene these days. He’s built – broad in the shoulders and the thighs. He’s wearing the uniform black skinnies, though, so he’s probably a band member rather than a volunteer. And he’s got the presence, somehow, of a frontman. Maybe it’s because Val’s pretty well versed in scene guys, but she can just tell he’s a lead singer.

His dark curls are tucked under a backwards Blue Jays hat and his eyes are unreadable under black Wayfarers. His facial structure is sinfully architected, marred only by the black lip ring that’s pierced through his full lower lip.

His hands are tucked in the pockets of his impossibly tight jeans as he cruises easily on a skateboard through hordes of bands and crew prepping for the day. He seems unbothered by the hard work going on around him, content to observe and take it all in. It gives him an ethereal sort of glow, that he’s untouched by reality.

Val swallows like a fucking cartoon character and watches his mighty leg strike the ground, black leather high top Chucks kicking up a cloud of fairground dust as he propels himself past the tent without a glance. She feels like a ninth grader who’s caught her first glance at the senior quarterback. She sniffs. It’s been a while since she’s felt like that at all.

Bea elbows her again. “Holy damn.”

“Say it again, sister,” Val chuckles, watching the back pockets of his jeans stretch over his very fine ass as he launches himself down the sidewalk, weaving and bobbing through the crowd.

“HOLY DAMN!” Bea crows, throwing an arm around Val’s shoulders and shaking her. Val sniggers and peels her eyes away, nibbling on her pillowy lower lip.

“I’ll do some recon, find out who he is,” Bea offers, smirking. Val isn’t about to turn that down. Bea’s the most well-connected merch girl on the tour, being as seasoned as she is, having toured with New Found Glory since ’97. She nods her thanks and waves goodbye as Bea rushes off to check on the status of her own merch tent.

Val turns back to her table, fumbling through price tags and pushpins. Her mind is elsewhere. Specifically, it’s somewhere in the back pocket of that skateboarding guy. She can smell trouble on him from here.

She doesn’t mind. She could use a little trouble.

Boys, raise your glasses/Girls, shake those, go, go, go/We're the party, you're the people/Let's make this night a classic

Taglist: I literally don’t know who my taglist is anymore so lmk if you want to be added but for now here @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn​ @alone-in-madness​ @alone-in-madness @singanddreamanyway @accioalena

[rovvboat]

Abort Mission - Cable/Nathan Summers x Reader P.1

Part 1

Warnings: Smut, NSFW content, Angst. 

A/N: Hope you enjoy this angsty smutfest! It’s my first time writing smut and I didn’t think that I’d do it so soon, but it seemed so.. //NEEDED// for this storyline- AGAIN: this one’s a long one bc I’m trying to set the scene for part 2 - the smut in this is worth it!!! So indeed look out for p2 if you enjoyed this one - its gonna be much more fast-paced than this one is ;) Cheerio~!

Words: 4k 

Summary: Your team had been tipped off about a possible resurrection of an unnamed villain by Black Talon and his followers, which prompted a recon mission led by Cable. Long nights awake had driven you to the point of extreme agitation.The remote and small location didn’t help and neither did the fact that you easily become a restless mess; to add to the complexity, you have a crush on Cable. Things get heated when you could no longer keep it in.

You were chosen as the on-site medic – despite your reluctance – by Colossus; who cited your usefulness, where resources would be limited, as the reason why you were best for the job.

And the choice was ditto-ed by Wade, who cited your terrible crush on Cable as the reason why he voted for you. To your relief, Wade’s voting was done where Cable wasn’t within earshot – so there wasn’t much to worry about. The last thing in Cable’s mind would be a relationship, and you weren’t prepared to test out that theory.

Of course, your powers could mold things out of the materials around you and enhance the healing factor of anyone you willed and you could, with enough time, change the landscape of a limited area by accelerating certain reactions… Damn your powers. It was so easy for you to get chosen as the in-and-out-house ‘’medic’’ – especially because of how fast you could recovered between missions.

Your high energy was also a key factor in this long-haul mission - which was expected to take at least 2 weeks. You and Cable were thoroughly prepped and the both of you set off to the post in record time.

The land rover bounced up and down as it sped through the rough and uneven terrain. The uncontrollable bobbing was making you feel sick, but you tried your best to keep it in, putting one hand on the dashboard to keep yourself steady as the car made a rag-doll out of you.

You looked over to Cable in the driving seat, his eyes focused entirely on the far away destination.

‘’Hey, how long til’ we reach the spot?’’

‘’We’ll be arriving soon, don’t worry. You feeling okay?’’ Cable responded, without taking his eyes off the road

‘’Well, I’d feel better if this car could stop wobbling so damn much.’’ You said as you used a hand rub circles around your stomach in an attempt to soothe it, and tried to make yourself feel less sick.

It worked. Until the next big bump in the road almost threw you off the seat.

‘’Do they not have cars in the future, Cable? You suck at driving.’’

Cable chuckled.

‘’Alright, alright, stop your whining. We’re here.’’ He said as he put the rover in park.

‘’And where exactly is here, Mr. Can’t Drive? We’re still in the middle of nowhere.’’

‘’We gotta walk from here, kid. The cabin isn’t too far off, and we don’t want the engine noise to alert anyone that we’re here.’’

‘’Wow, I didn’t know we were having an affair.’’

‘’Yeah. Sure.’’ Cable scoffed. He was one of the only few people who could take your snark, and you didn’t know whether it made you happy, or annoyed that it wasn’t annoying to him.

‘’Hey, I have a question. Since you know my real name, can I know yours?’’ You asked with a mischievous tone in your voice.

‘’It’s Nathan. Nathan Summers. Now let’s get to work.‘’

You were surprised by his candid response.

‘’I honest to God did not think it would’ve been that easy.’’ You remarked.

You and Cable got to unloading the gear and rations you brought. As you do, you noticed that he had stopped unloading, and was looking intently at something. You walked over to see what had caught his attention, when he spoke up.

‘’Tell me again, how would… a long bolster pillow… help us get information from our enemies? You gonna smother them into talking?’’ He joked as he held up the long grey cushion in front of him.

‘’That’s for me, Nathaniel. I can’t sleep if I’m not hugging something.’’

Cable looked at the pillow, then back at you; the smirk on his face clearly showing his amusement at this revelation.

‘’What?’’ You said, snagging your lovely pillow away from him.

‘’Nothing. I expected as much. Now get a move on. We’re burning daylight.’’

You both began trekking away from the dirt path and into the forest.

The forest looked magical. The rays of sunlight filtered through the trees, and the vines seemed to dance with the light breeze, as you walked through it. The slight crunching sounds of your feet treading on the leaf litter against the sounds of the forest – alive and creaking and croaking and cawing – reminded you of how out of place you were.

While you were busy taking in the sights and sounds of your surroundings, Cable made sure to mark the way leading into undisclosed location using a knife, in order to make it easier for you to find your way back; in case you get lost during the mission. He was lucky that you were easily distracted, else you would be trying to annoy him out of boredom.

After what seemed like days of walking – though honestly it was only about 30 minutes or so – the sight of a dilapidated cabin finally came into view. It was big, but obviously couldn’t have been your place of residence for the mission, mostly due to the fact that it stood crushed under a gigantic tree.

‘’Holy shit. That looks so cool!’’ You exclaimed under your breath. Cable hummed a sound of agreement. The kind of hum that an older sibling would make whenever a younger sibling points out something mundane and routine with a sense of renewed awe.

‘’Don’t patronize me, old man Nathan!’’ You said with a light shove.

You walked ahead to inspect the house, and saw that it had moss and algae growing all over. There were shards of glass scattered around the entrance, and to top it all off, a heavily rusted metal fence barricaded the front door and windows.

You looked up at the huge tree that had fallen onto it. The weight of the tree had caved the roof in – who knows how long ago – and now looks almost as if it was part of the cabin.

‘’Home sweet home.’’ Cable quipped.

‘’This has got to be a joke, ri-‘’ You started, but Cable cut you off.

‘’Stop talking and follow my lead.’’

You held onto your bag straps and grudgingly tagged along. He strode over to the thick base of the ginormous fallen tree; where its roots were pointed in all directions. The tree looked awfully old yet sturdy, but something about it seemed awkwardly placed the more you looked at it.

Cable did some mental calculations and made his way to the underside of the tree, near the perimeter of the cabin and pulled on a loose vine.

The vine was connected to a stealthily hidden trap door, which gave way as Cable tugged at it. You hadn’t even noticed the way it curved into a kind of entrance, but it was perfectly camouflaged against the deep ashy brown of the fallen tree. The trap door opened into a narrow crawlspace that looked like something out of a zombie movie.

‘’Go on, get a move on. We don’t have all day, Y/N.’’ Cable urged. He took out something which looked like a gun from his fanny-pack – he could call it a utility bag all he wants, it wasn’t going to make it true – and pulled the trigger, which released something into the distance with a strong wisp. He did this a few times at different angles.

You furrowed your brows, but didn’t question it and got into an army crawl position, pushing yourself into the crawlspace. It turned out to be bigger than you expected; dust and tiny fiber particles swirled around you as you pushed your way deeper into it – using what little light that entered to guide you wherever you were headed. You heard Cable enter into the crawlspace behind you and cover up the entrance, instantly engulfing you both in darkness.

‘’Nice place you got here, Nathan. Where do I put up my reviews in Yelp?’’ You commented, turning your head back at him as he caught up with you.

‘’You talk too much Y/N,’’ he returned, ‘’Now hurry up and get to the end.’’

You hustled and reached the end. You stretched your hands out and felt a metal wall in front of you. Before you could ask, Cable voiced out.

‘’Okay, now you have to pull on the lever. Feel around for it, it should be to your left.’’ He instructed.

Using both your hands, you felt around the ground and finally discerned a hard, metallic smooth protrusion from the adjacent wall. You pushed it up and suddenly, the wall in front of you rose with a mechanical shunting and clunking noise.

The wall revealed behind it a wide-open space, fully furnished with a narrow kitchen – with a door that led into the world’s tiniest washroom – and a small living room with a slender sofa and a single-bed right behind it. It was quaint, but better than anything you could ever have expected.

‘’Dibs on the bed!’’ You called out as you got up out of the entrance and jumped on the bed. Cable just sighed as he got up. It’s hard to even imagine that you were an adult. But it was entertaining – to say the least.

You helped Cable bring in and set-up the equipment at the surveillance post; which turned out to be the two-way window in the kitchen that overlooked the abandoned military base a little ways off - past a few trees and shrubbery.

You let out a deep breath, thinking about how long of a mission you had in front of you, as Cable arranged for a surveillance schedule. He carefully divided up the timings such that he would do most of the night watch while you did mostly daytime. A switch happened every 4 days for effective exchange of notes and to ensure that you both were on your toes. Cable passed you a set of earpieces as you were setting up.

‘’These are our ears on the ground. If anything happens in there, we’re gonna hear it loud and clear. The team also has a set back home and they would be helping us keep track of Black Talon’s followers. They can hear us – and the recording device in the abandoned base – but we can’t hear them.’’ Cable explained.

‘’Is that so?’’ You took an earpiece. ‘’Fuck you, Wade! I know it was you who took my M&Ms from the fridge and made Colossus take the fall! Colossus, buddy, you did nothing wrong and I will make sure Wade suffers for this.’’ You dramatically exclaimed into the comms device. 

Cable stared at you in what seemed to be both reserved disappointment and met expectations. A hard line to cross, but you do it anyway.

The first few days had gone by without incident – and no sign of Black Talon or his followers. However, on the fourth day, there was a sudden influx of noise in the comms. The followers had planned a ritual to allow Black Talon’s return as well as preparation for a ‘resurrection’ of sorts. All details were captured on audio, which made it easier for an eventual ambush. However, one crucial detail had not been disclosed.

When was this ritual going to happen?

All signs pointed to the speculation that it was going to be a month away. But the team wanted the mission to proceed as normal for another week to ensure nothing new popped up.

 Both you and Cable were clearly getting antsy. A good 5 days had passed since the last appearance or instance of anyone around the base, and so far, nothing seemed to be happening. Even picking on each other didn’t seem to satisfy the accumulating energy from being stuck in such a small space.

You tried doing some on-the-spot jogging and star jumps but still felt restless.

‘’Maybe you should try to get some rest. I can take it from here.’’ Cable offered.

You dragged your body to the couch, stretching out one leg over the couch as you let yourself fall onto the comfortable fabric, and tried to get some shut eye.

After 20 minutes of tossing and turning, you got up off the couch and walked toward the kitchen window.

Cable had been diligently standing watch, making notes of any activities around the abandoned base. He looked up to acknowledge you and went right back to keeping watch.

‘’I can’t sleep’’

‘’Have you tried hugging your pillow?’’ Cable asked nonchalantly as he continued refocusing the night-vision binoculars.

You rolled your eyes at him, and meandered over to him. You tapped him on the shoulder, then motioned with your hands for him to step away from his post in front of the tinted windows. You picked up the binoculars and scanned the surroundings.

‘’Boy do I love looking at nothing happening!’’ You tittered as you set the binoculars onto the table.

‘’We didn’t come here for a fucking field trip now, did we? If you could stop your incessant whining for about 30 seconds, maybe we could’ve gotten our job here done quicker.’’ Cable snapped back at you. Your eyes widened in surprise.

‘’Yeah, cos I’m that useless right?’’ You glared at Cable and stormed out of the kitchen. Great, now you were both restless and frustrated.

‘’What the fuck are you talking about?’’ He called after you.

‘’Forget it.’’                                            

You suddenly felt a hand clasp around your wrist, pulling you in the opposite direction, until you came face to face with Cable. You held your breath, you whole body tensed, as he paused for a second; eyes locked onto yours like a magnet.

The tension weighed down heavy in the room, as if all the forest was spectating your little show from the outside; waiting to see what you would do.

This couldn’t go on any longer.

You swiftly took one step towards Cable, placing your free hand on his neck, and drew him into a deep kiss. He slowly let go of your wrist and pulled you closer to him. His cybernetic arm on the small of your back, easing you into it.

He tugged at your legs with a low growl, with a neediness, a desire.

A desire that filled you as well.

You instinctively wrap your legs around him and Cable immediately propped you up onto his waist; almost as if it was what he was waiting for the entire time.

You brought your hands up to his face, as you broke away from the kiss, heavy pants escaping your lips as you stared into him. He seemed hesitant to continue.

‘’Are you sure you want to do this?’’ Cable asked tentatively. His low, husky voice sending chills down your spine as you held onto him.

‘’Yeah. I’m sure.’’ You seductively whispered into his ear; which was enough to drive him wild.

He let both your bodies collapse onto the couch, you on your back, and him on top of you. You picked at his shirt trying to find the edge, and dragged it up off him as he lifted his torso up to pull it over his head. His attention focused right back at you, as he placed kisses from your lips, down to your neck – lingering at your collarbone, causing you to arch your back as you stifled a moan. His hands go to work on your shorts, yanking it off, leaving your panties exposed.

He pushed his body off of yours and shifted your body up a little to pull your shirt off, exposing your bare tits to the cold. He took a second to admire your almost-naked body, running his hands over your breasts and pinching one of your nipples between his fingers, pulling at it gently as his tongue played with the other. You were turned on beyond belief.

He brings his face up to yours, hastily meeting your lips, as if time had kept them apart for too long. Your tongues moving slowly, playfully, around each other – fully getting a taste of each other.

Cable breaks the kiss, rhythmic heavy pants escaping from both of you. He moves to unbuckle his pants, but you beat him to it – pulling the belt out of its metal confines and discarding it onto the floor so quickly that it made Cable let out a deep chuckle.

You ignored it and continue unzipping his pants and yanked it down together with his boxers, exposing his thick cock. You stroke his length with fervor, and watch as he melted into your hands – his brows furrowed and his eyes closed, focused intensely on the feeling of your pressure moving up and down around his shaft, as you felt him get harder against your palms.

‘’Oh fuck, darling, this is gonna end too soon if you continue like this.’’ He moaned against your slow lazy strokes. He brings his hand down to stop you; pulling arms up over your head, holding them together as his body closes the distance between you two. You relent, allowing him control.

‘’Good girl. Now let me return the favor.’’ He whispered into your ear, his hand sliding down your thigh, then over the fabric covering your pussy. His finger circling around, pressing down whenever it was directly above your clit.

‘’You’re already so wet for me, doll.’’

‘’Fuck, Nate. St- Stop teasing– ‘’ You moaned.

‘’Tell me what you want.’’ He said as he kissed that sensitive spot on your neck, making you dig your fingers into his back. When you finally spoke, your voice was raspy and strained.

‘’I want you. Right now.’’

He immediately yanked your panties off, and brought his hand to his hard member, positioning it at your entrance – leisurely teasing your pussy with the tip of his cock.

‘’Nate!’’ You whined.

With one swift move, he pushed himself inside you – painfully slowly – as if he was restraining himself. You writhed under him as you got used to his size entering you. You search for his body – unbearably absent from yours – and pull at his hands.

He immediately goes to kiss you again, rhythmically driving into you, as his tongue found yours.

Your body stiffened from the overstimulation, and as the tension accumulated, you whimpered and squirmed beneath him. You wanted nothing but release, but your body wasn’t allowing it.

‘’Nate, please- fuck I can’t.’’ You said as you gnawed gently at his neck; trying to rid of all the pent-up energy.

‘’Just hold out for me a little more, doll.’’ He growled, getting close to his own climax. He shifted his body closer to yours, quickening his thrusts.  He put his arms around you in an embrace. His face lying next to yours as his hand pushed your face closer to his.

‘’Oh fuck- Nate, please- I need to-‘’

‘’Shhh… It’s okay. It’s okay Y/N.’’ He whispered into your ear as he circled your clit with two fingers – with just the right amount of pressure – edging you closer and closer to a much-needed orgasm.

‘’That’s it babygirl. I want you to cum for me.’’ He coaxed. He continued gently pushing into you.

The thought of having him delving so deep into you, with his fingers making magic on your clit, finally pushed you over the edge.

‘’Nate I’m- Fuck- I’m coming!’’

The orgasm seared through you; leaving your body arched, toes curled and legs trembling. The contractions of your pussy against his hard cock, pushing him to his own climax.

As all the pent-up energy slowly dissipated in those moments of satisfaction, you lowered your body down onto the cushions.

Cable continued where he left off and thrust into you, hard and slow. You let him find his own orgasm as he promptly pulled out and came over your stomach with a moan.

His body collapsed onto yours, his breathing steady as his eyes closed. His hair drapes onto his forehead. You instinctively go to shift it out of the way; and slowly ran your fingers through his hair. You watched him as he fell asleep on top of you, the sound of his breathing lulling you to sleep as you finally, finally, fell into a deep slumber.

 You woke up to the sight of sunlight filtering into the room, with the sound of bird chirping and going about their day.

All of a sudden, you felt a drop in your stomach, as you noticed that your bolster had replaced where Cable had been. You also noticed that there was a blanket over you.

Was I dreaming…?

You looked around and saw your shorts, shirt and panties folded neatly on the coffee table. Last night had happened, so where was Cable now?

You quickly throw your clothes on – save for the panties which you stuffed into your daypack – washed up, and wandered into the kitchen.

You noticed Cable leaning against the window frame – staring out the window – with a coffee mug in hand. He looked relaxed, but somehow distant. As if he was deep in thought.

‘’Good morning.’’ You voiced as a yawn escaped you. You stretched your arms over you, your feet tiptoed in an automatic response.

Cable watched you tenderly, catching your morning yawn and stretch.

‘’Good morning, Y/N. There’s some coffee in the pot if you’d like.’’ He responded, looking back towards the window.

You brush your teeth then pour yourself a cup of coffee and settle down on the small dining table. Cable moved towards the dining table, taking the seat across you. There was a sudden seriousness to him that demanded your attention. He set his mug on the table before continuing.

‘’Y/N… I hope that it was clear that last night… was a one-time thing.’’ He stated. ‘’I don’t want you to think tha-‘’

‘’No, yeah, I get it. I didn’t expect anything from this.’’ You interrupted, taking a sip of your coffee.

‘’That’s good to hear. And hey, we can finally get out of this hellhole. I think we have all the information we need for the ambush.’’ He divulged as he stood up, taking a swig of coffee before moving to wash it in the sink.

You kept quiet. Your heart sank the moment the words ‘one-time thing’ spilled from his lips. You did all you could to seem like it didn’t affect you, to make it seem like the tears brimming over your eyes were no indication of how you felt. You abandoned your half-empty coffee cup and hastened to the shower, where you could let it all out under the running water.

 Once the coast was clear, you and Cable packed all the equipment and made your way back to the rover. You followed Cable through the forest, not once stopping to look at the surroundings; your eyes focused straight ahead, but on nothing in particular, looking slightly dazed.

Cable had noticed your lack of wit and conversation, but knowing better, he decided not to remark on your newfound silence.

When you finally reached the jeep, you hauled your gear onto the back and settled yourself in the front seat. You wanted to sit in the backseat, but thought against it, should it arouse suspicion in Cable. You brought your bolster along with you to the front seat to help you ease the bumps.

Once he was done securing the gear in the back, Cable took the drivers seat and began the drive back to the X-Mansion; as you held onto your pillow while watching each tree pass by you from the window. The slow bumps seemed to induce sleep as you drifted off – your eyelids as heavy as your heart was – whilst Cable did his best to drive as smoothly as possible through the uneven terrain to take you both back home.

[mia-cooper]

2018: Fanfic Year in Review (Part 1)

Listing my favourite fic I've posted each month this year. (You’ll note there are only 9 fics on this list, for reasons I’ll explain below.)

Coming soon: another post where I'll pick my favourite fics posted by other writers in each month of the year, which will (hopefully) help other writers feel good and (also hopefully) give readers something new to enjoy, or remind them to revisit a favourite. (This one will be hard because of all the quality fic that’s been posted this year, but I’ll do my best!)

All I ask from you is if there’s a fic you enjoy/ed on either list, mine or someone else’s, please give it a kudos or comment, especially if you haven’t done so already. ♥

My 2018 Fic Review Roundup

January – Queen of Swords (T)

ST:DSC, ST:MU | Mirror Burnham x Mirror Lorca, Mirror Georgiou x Mirror Lorca

Okay, so I didn’t have a whole lot of choice for this month because this was the only fic I wrote. Nonetheless, I don’t hate it. I’m grateful to Discovery for exciting my spleen over the Mirror Universe status of Gabriel Lorca (about which I am still, and will forever be, bitter) as it was the only thing that inspired me to write about anything during my post-Christmas mental wasteland.

It’s about Mirror Michael Burnham’s competitive, twisted affair with Mirror Lorca, but it’s really more about the toxic relationship between Burnham and her foster mother, Emperor Georgiou. It’s about escaping abuse and trying to find a new, better way, but not having the tools to do so. It’s about being caught between loyalties and being unable to choose. And there are some heavy Macbeth references in there, but I see Michael more in the role of Hamlet, though her fate at the end of the story is ambiguous.

February – Open Hand (M)

ST:VOY | Janeway x Chakotay

This was another dry month for the muse, so again, I had only one choice for Fic of the Month, and it was one I’d never planned on writing. @writtenndust commented in a discord chat about the role played by Janeway’s and Chakotay’s hands in a number of episodes throughout the show (these are the things we shippers analyse in crazy detail), and I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about hand-clasping being the most contact we saw in canon between these two and how many opportunities were missed, and then I climbed inside Janeway’s head as she was debriefed post-homecoming and she got very introspective about it.

I really like this fic. I like its melancholy feel, Janeway’s self-understanding and her calm acceptance that sometimes you don’t get the fairytale ending. And I like that we do get the fairytale after all.

March – Warmth and Colour (T)

ST:TNG | Guinan x Lwaxana Troi

Once again, the only fic I published all month (are we sensing a pattern here?) This one was for @gluecookie for the Trek Rarepair Swap, and I don’t mind admitting that it took forever to get into. I absolutely love both of these characters but I’d never thought about shipping them before, and I couldn’t word for some reason, and the more I tried to find the right angle the more twisted up I got. In the end, though I’d wanted to give my recipient something meatier, I ended up with a pretty light story full of banter and a couple of slightly more serious personal revelations.

The most amazing thing about this story? My recipient not only loved it, they gifted me back with fanart they drew themselves. This is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a fanfic writer! (Incidentally, I’ve been lucky enough to have been gifted a soundtrack for The Bitter End by @cheile and a moodboard for Laced and Bound by @supernovacoffee and I couldn’t be happier about it.) And I’m actually planning a sequel to Warmth and Colour, hopefully sometime early in 2019.

April – Displaced (T)

ST:TNG, ST:DSC, ST:MU | Lorca x Garrett

What do you know, I have two fics and two drabbles to choose from this month!

This is one of the weirder fics I’ve written. It not only involves an impossible pairing (Rachel Garrett is from a different century to Gabriel Lorca), it’s set on an alternate plane of existence: both of them are dead, and they meet in some kind of limbo or spiritual waiting room. Each of them has one last chance to connect with another human being, but then each gets to make the choice between life and death.

This story is also an attempt to explain what happened to Prime Lorca, and it’s not a happy ending; there’s a sequel, In the Wrong Light, that’s a whole lot darker than this fic.

May – Abandoned (M)

ST:VOY | Janeway x Torres

Wow, May was a great month for writing – I bashed out 10 fics in 3 fandoms at a total of over 25,000 words! This was mainly thanks to the inspiring prompt memes on tumblr – a kiss + a ship and six sexy words – and consequently, most of these works veered on the nsfw side. (I have a stack more prompts to write to in 2019, as well.)

As for a favourite? I’m going to have to go with Abandoned. It’s set during Year of Hell, one of my all-time favourite Voyager episodes, and it’s hurt/comfort and angst, and it’s about love that’s unspoken and complicated but no less real for it. And I like B’Elanna being the strong one for the captain, because in canon we only really get to see Janeway being strong for her.

June – To Those Who Wait (M)

ST:VOY | Sekaya x Phoebe Janeway

This is actually a work in progress – I’ve planned another three chapters – and it fits into a larger universe of loosely-connected stories that @jhelenoftrek and I have been blathering about for over a year now and we are definitely going to get started on the series that brings them all together in 2019, aren’t we Helen?

Anyway, I’m fond of this story. It was a birthday present for Helen in which I tried to combine a number of her favourite things because she’s one of my favourite people, and it’s the only Sekaya x Phoebe Janeway story on AO3, which is kind of cool. And Phoebe is sexy and angry and mouthy, and Sekaya is gorgeous and lonely and rebellious, and Mark is weird and self-aware and ridiculously in love with Kathryn, who’s damaged and brave and brittle, and Chakotay is confident and sarcastic and big-brotherly and has no idea of the tragedy that’s in store for him and his sister.

And J/C pass like ships in the night long before they meet in canon, and their siblings have a passionate, tempestuous one-night-stand which (spoiler alert) isn’t going to fit the one-night-stand category in the end.

July – Trigger (E)

ST:VOY | Janeway x Chakotay

Another fic prompted by tumblr memes, and one I’d been wanting to write for quite a while. It’s not my only Equinox-inspired fic (another of my favourite episodes) and probably won’t be my last. I wanted to explore Janeway’s loss of control in this one – her anger and bitterness and rage, and the way she takes them out on the people she loves – and I wanted more of Chakotay supporting her publicly but in private, not backing down one whit.

And I wanted really hot sex. Hopefully I achieved that.

(August and September are fic-free because I was posting The Epic. I’ll come back to that one.)

October – Nothing Like a Dame (T)

ST:VOY | Paris x Torres

Ah, fictober, how I loved you. For those who don’t already know, I decided to embark on fictober at approximately 8pm on September 30, despite having a thousand other things I should have been committing to. Just to make it trickier, I also decided I would write a missing-scene ficlet to every single daily prompt, and I’d keep it canon-consistent and in order of episode airing. As you can imagine, this was quite a challenge, and resulted in me producing almost 29,000 words in a single month.

Of these 31 ficlets, I think this one is my favourite. The two protagonists aren’t even really main characters on the show – they’re mindwiped alter egos in a World War II holodeck program – but they’re still relatable both to the show’s characters and to the world today. What ‘Brigitte’ experiences as a collaborateur horizontale is the kind of thing women go through in every war, and what ‘Bobby’ learns from her is a lesson a lot of men in power today could stand to learn.

It’s also given me an idea for a Killing Game-based fic series, so stay tuned for that, sometime in 2027, probably.

(November is fic-free because I hate the only fic I posted that month so much I deleted it from AO3)

December – Desperate Measures (E)

ST:VOY | Janeway x Chakotay, Janeway x other male, Chakotay x Seven, Kim x Seven

I mean, I had to include The Epic. And strictly speaking I’ve been writing it for well over a year, but it counts. At over 70,000 words so far – my longest fic to date – it absobloodylutely counts.

This is an Endgame-fixing post-DQ action adventure featuring angst, romance, conspiracy, drama and smut. Perfect for the holiday season, right? (And no promises, but I’ll do my level best to finish it before the end of January!)

______

Coming soon: My favourite fics by other people for every month of 2018

Happy reading (and reviewing)!

[whomping-weasleys]

How Would You Feel? -Ed Sheeran

REQUEST: Anon: Hon, I’m all out of Fred Weasley fanfic, not sure if you write them but if you do one based on Ed Sheeran’s How Would You Feel? Maybe reader is spending the summer at the Burrow with the Weasleys?

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader

WARNINGS: Little, tiny, itsy bitsy, teeny weeny bit of angst, maybe? Idk. Tell me if I missed anything.

A/N: This is such a great request! I’ve never done a lyric based fanfic so I hope this is at least kinda close to what you were asking for. I, personally, am super proud of this one. I hope it’s not too long. Thanks for reading! <3 (oh and I’m on mobile so it won’t italicize so sorry about that)

A/N2: Characters and pretty much everything else do not belong to me. Please inform me of any typos or just ways I can improve. Also, plEASE REQUEST THINGS I LOVE REQUESTS AND WILL ACCEPT ANY AND ALL OF THEM.

———

The Burrow was bustling with redheads and company as the weather outside remained dreary. The Weasleys always had company. No matter the size of their home nor paycheck there was always room for one more.

You were currently sinking into the seemingly never-ending armchair by the fireside, enthralled in the flames and your own thoughts. The twins were busying themselves with different plans and formulas across the room, and the rest of the Weasleys were wandering in and out of each room. You didn’t truly know anybody very well in the Burrow, but when Mrs. Weasley caught wind of a student without a home for the summer, well, she practically packed your things for you.

“Hey,” One of the twins snuck up behind you, you couldn’t quite tell them apart yet but you thought it was Fred, smiling widely at how surprised you seemed to be that someone would speak to you.

•

“You are the one girl And you know that it’s true I’m feeling younger Every time that I’m alone with you”

•

You were flustered, you’d heard of the infamous Weasley twins but had never thought they would bother talking to you. Your fear must’ve shown because, “don’t worry, I don’t bite,” Fred paused, “most of the time.” He winked and your lips formed a small smile.

“Though, he does tend to pry,” George called from across the room. You almost thought you saw Fred blush from the corner of your eye.

“And tease,” Ginny said as she walked in and out as quickly as she came.

“And scare the living hell out of you,” Ron did the same.

“Really? My own family, how could you?” Fred paused, holding his heart dramatically, “how could you forget prank?” You laughed, and continued to do so with Fred and George until you were called for dinner.

Though Molly Weasley was possibly the best hostess one could have, you’d been worried how you’d get on with the others. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

You spent the majority of the next few weeks with Fred and George, though mostly Fred. You hadn’t had this much fun since you could remember. You could’ve mutually said you’d become best friends in these few weeks.

•

“We were sitting in a parked car Stealing kisses in the front yard We got questions we should not ask”

•

One night at the dinner table Mrs. Weasley began commenting on the amount of time the two of you had been. Your face heated up as Ron began hinting that more was happening than all you’d been telling them. You glanced up at Fred and, shockingly, he seemed just as embarrassed as you.

You had to admit to yourself, if no one else, you did have more feelings for the tall joker than you let on.

After cleaning up dinner, Ron’s conversation continued with some of his siblings, but in more detail, for lack of a better word.

“Sorry,” Fred mouthed to you, you’d never seen him so embarrassed. You laughed and shrugged in response. The two continued listening, amused,though also because you thought they might assume things if they noticed you two leaving together.

All eyes were now on Ron and it was your chance to leave. Fred gestured to the kitchen door and you followed him out.

“Sorry about Ron, this is the only time he’s been around an non-ginger girl, other than Granger, since… Well, I don’t think he’s really been around a lot of girls. He’s just trying to impress you,” he chuckled as he began making the two of you hot cocoa.

“Impress me? Why the hell would he want to do that?” You asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well why the hell not? You’re practically perfect,” he said it so casually you almost spat out your hot chocolate.

•

“In the summer, as the lilacs bloom Love flows deeper than the river Every moment that I spend with you We were sat upon our best friend’s roof I had both of my arms round you Watching the sunrise replace the moon”

•

“Hey, Y/N, I have something I wanna show you tonight, if you’re up for it,” Fred asked you as you walked into the kitchen for breakfast. Ron had begun laughing, what brains he had left out, at this statement (you’d become quite annoyed with his ongoing theories).

“What is it?” You asked cautiously, ignoring the giggling Ron.

“Well you’ll have to find out, won’t you,” he smirked. Still cautious, you agreed and waited anxiously until the set time.

You were waiting by the front door when Fred came running down the stairs, grabbed your hand, and continued on. His backpack grasping onto his shoulder, he dragged you to the broom shed, you both picking a considerably large amount of daisies along the way, and took both of your brooms. Through the fooling around and poking fun of each other, somehow, you’d made it up onto the roof of the Burrow.

“Well, this is our stop,” he said, looking up.

You hadn’t noticed how beautiful the stars were until now. Each star sparkled with a different light from the others. It was marvelous. When you looked back over at Fred he’d been staring at you but quickly looked away. You must’ve gotten something in your hair on the way here, you thought.

Fred began unpacking his bag. Four jumpers, sweets, a blanket, a sleeping bag, sweets, a thermos (presumably hot cocoa), water, more sweets, and a camera. He was always prepared. You laughed at the amount of sweets he’d brought, he looked at you like he was unaware one wouldn’t bring three bags of sweets on a trip to their rooftop.

The two of you sat down on the cold roof and starred up at the stars in peaceful silence. You looked over at him and he seemed just as entranced as you were, the wonder in his face made him even more handsome and fascinating than before.

When you both started talking it didn’t seem like you could stop. He asked the questions he’d been dying to ask for the month and a bit you’d been there. You found he was a man of more depth than he let on. His eyes would light up when talked about things he was particularly passionate about and would scowl when he heard of someone being rude to you, saying they’d “regret it later.” You made a daisy chain for each of your heads, he wasn’t very enthusiastic about it but he wore it anyways, and you both took more pictures than you could count. It was, quite possibly, the best night of your life up to this point.

After several hours of talking and laughing, you’d moved back to mostly to watching the sky, exchanging words and thoughts every once in a while, whilst each wearing three jumpers and sharing both the sleeping bag and blanket. You were having a competition of who could find the most constellations and shooting stars for the last bit of cocoa, you were winning.

“Oh I see one! Another point for me!” You bragged and he begrudgingly scraped another tally under your initial on the roof with a rock you’d found under your back.

“I don’t even think you’re seeing them anymore, you just want to win!” He accused you playfully.

“You’re just mad because I’m up by ten points.”

“Of course I’m mad; I’m down by ten points!”

“It’s not my fault I took astrology!” He rolled his eyes and looked back up. You both fell asleep soon after you won the cocoa.

You were startled awake by an excited Fred, who laughed at your scared reaction. You simply rolled your eyes at him.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?“ you stated, he just rolled his and pointed out at the sky impatiently.

You were in awe. It was just as beautiful as the night before but in a completely different way. The sun was climbing up over the treetops, shedding an orange light on anything in it’s path. You knew Fred was looking at you but you just smiled and continued watching; this was too wonderful to miss.

•

“How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? It’s just something that I want to do I’ll be taking my time, spending my life Falling deeper in love with you So tell me that you love me too”

•

Ron was on a roll again; telling his many “stories” about the two of you to his siblings. You had to step out to the front yard to cool down from all the blushing.

You stepped further out into the night, staring up at the stars. You were thinking about, to be completely honest, Fred. Possible love was always a difficult subject to, even temporarily, erase from ones mind. For Merlin’s sake, you’d only known him for two months, though you were leaving for hogwarts soon so this may have been your best chance. You were mental, but he often seemed to be equally so.

“There you are, Y/N, ‘was wondering where you’d gone,” Fred stated walking towards you from behind, making you jump. “Sorry about Ron, by the way, he can be a complete g–”

As he reached you, you turned, with a great jolt of courage and spontaneity, placing your hands on his neck, you brought his lips down onto yours. You were genuinely shocked when he kissed back. He moved his hands to your waist and held you close, deepening the kiss. You broke the kiss for air, earning a groan from Fred. All you could do was laugh, and the best part was; he laughed with you. You’d done it. Still holding each other, he placed a small kiss on your nose, you giggled. He kissed you again.

“How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?” He asked between kisses as he tried holding you impossibly closer.

“Ecstatic.”

“Well then; I love you,” he smiled his adorably childish smile as you kissed just bellow his lips.

“Well, I love you too.”

———

A/N: pretty sure this is the fastest I’ve ever written a decent fanfic so yippee! Thanks to all you babes who read this! :>

[platonic-plots]

Uncontrollable.

Request/Summary: After Ward turned to HYDRA, you knew that - as his sister - you couldn’t make the slightest mistake at S.H.I.E.L.D as all eyes were on you. In the field with Coulson, things don’t go as planned.

Pairings: agent coulson x platonic!reader

Words: 2128

Warnings: tiny bit of angst (but i’m not good at writing angst so bear with me)

Specific time/Important info: this is set at some point near the start of season 4 :)

@straightasdeanwinchester ‘s writing challenge prompts: #56 “I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever”, #57 “You’re family!”, #98  “This is why I hide the coffee from you”

“No, y/n isn’t going on this mission. She’s too young.”

“Ex-excuse me? I mean, isn’t it the slightest bit coincidental that my age wasn’t an issue before Grant turned to Hydra?” Saying that phrase was like saying Voldemort at Hogwarts- you could visibly see how uncomfortable it made the Shield agents around you. Especially the one in front of you. You didn’t even know him well enough to know his name, but you did know he was eager to make an excuse for you to not have the chance to compromise the mission. “Come on guys, what happened to ‘a team that trusts is a team that triumphs’?” you mocked Director Mace’s key phrase.

“I think yo-”

“Stop. y/n’s right. Now, why don’t you explain why you actually think she shouldn’t accompany me?” Agent Phil Coulson replied, followed with a smirk. The Ex-Director of S.H.I.E.L.D; aka the only person who was confident enough to treat you the same way everyone did when Ward was still on your side.

“Sorry, sir.”

“We’ve repeatedly been over this for almost the past week; a total of 7 agents will be there, including myself. May will drive the van and be in charge of requesting any further back up from HQ, although I doubt we’ll need it,” he glanced at you with a slight smile. “Y/n and I will go in alone, with her abilities, we’ll be fine. We’ll let you know when we find the leader, Thomas Mercury, and if there are too many security guards, we’ll alert the agents who’ll be waiting in the van with May. That’s it, any questions? No? Then get ready. We leave in 10.”

Coulson had been there for you since day one - since Ward made you join at the same time as him so you could learn how to defend yourself. Of course, you didn’t realise that he was also part of hydra. You knew that siblings kept things from each other, but he was a bit more extreme than most. Once that news became public, you endured constant accusations, non-stop threats and hours of lie detector tests due to your uncontrollable brother until the idea of you being trusted again could even be considered, yet even after that, Coulson was the only person who truly believed you were good. Eventually, the majority of the speculation and negative attention stopped, although it wasn’t long until something else happened. You were with Daisy when the two of you were exposed to the terrigen mist and discovered you were inhuman. Your powers were to manipulate wind and they’d proven to be extremely beneficial on all your missions since, saving the lives of both you and countless others. But there were still agents who weren’t convinced you were on their side. Phil had been the only one to notice how much this affected you, so he would always reassure you that you were a key asset to the success of the team and you appreciated it beyond words; he was a father to you.

You sat in the van and waited for the rest of the team to join. Within minutes, you were sat with Coulson and May up front, listening to their conversation.

“Captain America survived a world war, an alien invasion, government corruption, a robotic army and half of the most powerful heroes to exist. He’d win the fight.” Coulson’s obsession with the super soldier came as no surprise; the day he fails to defend Steve Rogers is the day the world ends.

“Thor is a god, Phil. I’d bet my money on him winning against anyone. Hell, there wouldn’t have even been a civil war if he’d been there to put them in their place.” Melinda May shot back, a smug smirk beginning to rest on her lips.

“Girls, girls, you’re both pretty. Can I go home now?” you added to the conversation, greeted by a chuckle from Coulson and a half-glare from May.

The rest of the journey was filled with more comical arguing (but May became quite protective over Hawkeye when you claimed Black Widow was enormously better) until you finally arrived.

“Don’t die out there,” Agent May ordered.

“When have I ever?” Phil light heartedly replied.

She turned to you, “Be careful. Remember: Timing. Is. Key.”

“It’s not me who’s the problem, it’s that old man over there,” you joked, not realising you’d actually be proven right within the next ten minutes. 

***

It was time; Phil edged around the corner while you, about 15 ft. away, concentrated on what you were about to do. As the two of you had made your way through the building, you’d silently taken out all of Mercury’s guards, including the one’s outside his current office. This last part should’ve been easy- Thomas Mercury was the only one left. If things were to go smoothly, Phil would go in, take his weapons and bring him into the corridor you were both currently stood in. It’d then be your job to use your ‘powers’ to close off the three other exit points apart from the one you used to enter the building. Only this is real life, and things don’t tend to go smoothly.

Coulson had grabbed Thomas safely and efficiently and they had left his office. You aimed. You blocked off the first exit. You aimed again. You blocked off the second exit. Reaching your arms up for the third and final time, you began to close the only extra exit. 

“Stop!” Agent Coulson yelled urgently; Mercury had tried to make a break for it back through his office, closely followed by the agent before brutally kicking Phil in the chest with all his strength. Unprepared, your ‘powers’ of sorts became uncontrollable for a brief moment, resulting in you targeting a much bigger area of the building to destroy than you wished to. You watched, horrified, as Coulson crouched in the doorway of the wall that had already began to crumble. He had been attacked by a man hated by most and feared by all- you couldn’t blame Phil for not moving.

You had to do something - Phil Coulson was the closest thing to family you had left. Your entire existence would be ridden with guilt if you left him to get hurt. 

Barely seconds had passed before you were at his side. With adrenaline pumping through your veins, you grabbed the man next to you and threw him to the side. You watched his expression turn from pain to shock to fear as he realised what you had done. From those stories you’d read, it was usually at this point where the person in the dangerous situation would both simply and painlessly forget what happened and peacefully wake up in a comfy little hospital bed. You couldn’t say you were experiencing the same thing. 

Rational thoughts attacked the panic that suffocated your brain and you could at least find the logic to throw yourself forward and away from the rubble about to crush everything in its way. Nothing about it was in slow motion like you’d heard, you hit the ground with such an aggressively fast force that you could already feel the bruises forming on your skin. For a brief second, you thought you’d actually saved yourself, until the searing pain ripping through your legs delightfully reminded you otherwise. A pleasant string of curse words left your lips whilst you squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your fists due to the unbearable feeling below your thighs. Phil was at your side before you knew it; you could tell from his face that things weren’t looking a great as they could, and should, have been. You could hear the mix of emotions - none of them reassuring - in his voice as he radioed for help to the team waiting outside. Coulson tried to lift the slabs of wall determinedly resting on your legs but lady luck was definitely not on his side today.

“Phil,” you croaked out. You had to draw his attention away from what he was trying to do, it so far wasn’t proving to be effective and it’d only injure him more. As he knelt next to you, encouragingly taking your hands into his own, you could hear the rest of the wall and ceiling cracking. “You ne-ed to go. I screwed up- I-I screwed up bad. The building, it’s, it’s no-”

“Y/n, stop. I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever. You’re going to be okay, you’ll be fine, don’t worry.” It sounded more like he was reassuring himself more than you, but you weren’t exactly in the position to say anything else. As this ensued, you could faintly hear the footsteps of the agents growing closer. 

It wasn’t even 60 seconds before you were freed from the rocks and being carried through the corridor. The excruciating pain in your legs had subsided enormously - in fact, they felt quite numb. Your body didn’t let you focus on it, or even think about reacting to it. You almost felt empty. 

“Y/n, I’m gonna need you to stay with me. C’mon, y/n you have to stay awake. Y/n. Y/n, please. Listen to me, listen to my voice, c’mon y/n.” The voice grew more agitated and overwrought by the second.

You only really had the time to process one thought: it actually is quite like those stories.

***

You woke in a hospital bed back at base with a banging headache, no feeling below the knee and a stressed out Phil Coulson pacing back and forth along the wall of the room. Glancing around, you sipped some water from the glass next to you and acknowledged the alarm clock. “Still awake at 2am? Hm, and I thought you were an old man.”

His faced filled with relief and he was instantly at your side, hugging you in a way you could only describe as fatherly. He pulled a chair nearer your bed and replied with “I wanted to be here when you woke up, but I think I’m gonna explode from all the caffeine.”

“This is why I hide the coffee from you.”  

He smiled, but it faltered quickly, turning to something that resembled a strange kind of worry. You exchanged a little bit of small talk and checked how the other was feeling, but you could still see the same expression on his face.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Wh-?” you interrupted him, your face told him you knew he understood exactly what you asked. “Fine. What you did out there was stupid. It was immature and reckless.”

You were almost speechless. Almost. “Ex-excuse me? Neither of us know what would’ve happened if I’d just done nothing, but I think it’s fair to say you’d be in a worse condition than I’m in now. I-I helped you. God, forbid I actually did what you’ve been training me to do since I got here. Stupid? Reckless? Because I put you before myself? Don’t act like you’ve never done this before, Phil, because you and I both know you would’ve done the exact same thing if the tables were turned.”

“Y/n, you could have died. I was not worth that risk.”

“Yes, you were. I know you were scared a-and you were worried, I do. But I feel that way every single time you go into the field. You’re not the only one who cares enough to risk their life. I-I couldn’t leave you, you’re family! You’re a father to me.” Your voice wavered and cracked and you just about whispered the last line before your eyes became pools of both anger and sadness. Looking at him, you recognised he had the same reaction.

Soundlessly, you moved over to the edge of the bed, leaving a perfect Coulson-sized space for him. He agreed to your silent request and sat next to you. Phil held you close and comforted you as the uncontrollable tears raced down your cheeks. You mumbled an apology against his shirt; you understood why he reacted in such a way and you couldn’t really blame him.

“No,” Phil responded, “I shouldn’t have said that, I know I shouldn’t. You’re the closest thing to a daughter I’ll ever have, y/n. Losing you would, it’d break me. I, I don’t know what I’d do if..” Unable to bring himself to say anymore, he stopped.

You stayed in the same position that night, too exhausted and upset to move. That day was the most eventful you’d experienced in a while, but your ambition to stay at S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t change. It’d take a few months for you to get back on your feet, literally, and you weren’t sure when you’d next be allowed on a mission, but you didn’t care. All was well.

I just finished writing this and it’s 3.58 am. I want sleep. (send an ask if you’re interested in requesting an imagine or want to be tagged in any future things lol)

[strawbebehmod]

Taboo part 1 of 2

A big brother william au fic. Sorry it took me a long time to decide to post this. I was debating on waiting until I was half way done with the second part but decided just to go ahead and post it now. Anyways here you go!

Part 1: Grief Warning: as the name implies, lots of angst

William took a deep breath in to enjoy the momentary peace. For Eleven years they had lived in Risembool comfortably. For Eleven years life had been good. He had lived happily with his brothers, his father, and stepmother. For eleven years he had been happy. …But William knew that it could never last. Like with anything else in life, time brings change, and the cycle starts over again. Hohenheim had found evidence that Dante was getting close to them again. He had heard word of a woman living in Dublith with her name that was training alchemists. On top of that, he had heard even more rumors of strange people wandering around the woods, someone even reporting one tried to attack them when they got too close. None of this sounded good to his father, and so he devised a plan to keep her off of their trail. His father was going to travel around the country for four years or so to throw her off. William was to stay behind so he could protect his new found family just in case she wasn’t fooled by this. William had agreed to this, hoping it would allwork out for the best….Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. While Dante never attacked them, things took a turn for the worst after his father had left. It had started out small. At first the boys were just upset about their father’s disappearance. They were constantly asking William if he knew where he had gone or not, and were always dissatisfied with his answers. “Come on!” Edward insisted, “You gotta know where he is! He tells you everything!” William sighed as he stopped folding his laundry. “I told you already, I don’t know where he is right now!” the older boy insisted. Edward pouted. “Come on! You have to know!” he pushed. “Can’t you at least tell us why he was leaving?” Alphonse asked, a pleasing look in his eye. “He’s just left for a few years for a business trip,” his brother assured. However, this did not pacify his siblings. “You liar!” Edward snapped, “Dad doesn’t work for anyone and Mom said it was a research trip! What’s the real answer?” William cursed under his breath. “Well if mom already told you, then why are you asking me where he went?” He questioned. “Cause you know everything about dad,” he stated, “And mom won’t tell us anything about what’s going on. She says she doesn’t know anything.” “Well I have nothing to say either. I don’t know where he is or what he’s up to,” William said firmly turning to them with his arms crossed. The eight year old and his older brother stared each other down for a good minute before Edward’s face fell into an angry and hurt scowl. “So it’s true then…he’s not coming back is he?” he stated more than asked. William was taken aback by this. “What on Earth are you talking about?” He questioned. “Dad didn’t leave on some trip, he’s abandoning us!” Edward stated, “That’s the truth, isn’t it?” William’s brow furrowed. “He most certainly is not!” He insisted, “Dad WILL be back! I promise.” “How long then? How long is he gonna be gone for?” Ed asked. William sighed. “I don’t know exactly,” he admitted, “A few years probably.” Edward huffed and Alphonse looked disappointed. “I’m telling the truth! He is going to come back. I promise he will.” “But it’s been months!” Edward snapped, throwing his hands in the air. William sighed. “I know, but you’re just going to have to be patient,” he said, “Trust me.” And for a while, Edward did. However, the world didn’t feel like wait for Hohenheim’s return. The following summer, Trisha fell gravely ill. This had rocked all three of the boys to their core. She was bedridden for over a month. The doctors tried to help her but they all said there was nothing any of them could do. She had apparently been suffering from a disease of the blood for over a year without letting any of them know. Hearing this had made Will’s whole body feel cold for a moment. She had been sick all this time and none of them had been the wiser…Just the thought of being so unaware of the situation made him feel sick to his stomach. The three did everything they could for her while she was ill, anything to possibly prolong her life. The boys tried sending letters to their father and William tended to her on hand and knee. However, it all seemed for not when she finally passed. …. Trisha lied in the bed, breath shallow. William had noticed this and the glaze starting to form in her eyes while giving her some water and realized what it meant: she wouldn’t be in this world much longer. There was nothing they could do now, but had called the boys in quickly so that they could say their goodbyes to their mother. The three knelt by her side as she lay on her deathbed. William felt so many emotions boiling inside of him as he watched her life slowly be extinguished. Most of all he he felt fury towards the world. Why? Why did it have to be her? Why now? She hadn’t even lived to see her boys grow up, get married, or find their way in life. She was barely older than thirty! She deserved more than this…However he dared not speak any of this. He dare not fill her last few moments on this planet with such anger and negative emotions, not with her smiling up at him like she was. The boys were in similar states, though tears were ready to flow down their cheeks. Trisha’s unfocused eyes glided over her family as they stood before them. She smiled gently at them as she always did, but William found it hard to smile back knowing this would be the last time he saw it. His heart throbbed with pain as she spoke her last few words. “My boys…” she said, voice very frail, “it’s so good to see you all here. It makes me so happy. Look at at you all…You’ll be such handsome young men. I only wish…” “Please mom!” Edward cried, gripping her had, “Don’t say that! You’ll be fine! Promise us that!” “Please mom…” Alphonse echoed, “We-we don’t want you to go…” William bit his lip and lowered his eyes. The two had taken the words right out of his mouth. Trisha’s eyes softened as they moved towards them. “Oh boys…Please don’t be sad…” she whispered, “I love you both so much….Can you smile for mama? Please?” Despite her quiet request, the two boys could do no such thing. The were frozen in despair as the tears began to roll down their faces. They couldn’t even say a word. But William could. He needed to tell her this. He had meant to for years but he never was able to. “Trisha,” he said taking her hand and summoning up his nerves. As her gaze slowly moved towards him, he swallowed. “There’s something I need to say to you…,” he said finally, “Thank you. Thank you for all of your kindness…” His voice started to catch as he spoke. “You were…you were the closest thing to a real mother I’ve…” he said quietly, “And…just thank you…” Her smile widened slightly. “Oh….come here…”she said. William bent his head down and she kissed his forehead. She then let go of his hand to let alphonse hold. “You’re welcome….and…can you do one thing for me?” She asked weakly, “Look after Edward and Alphonse…Please?” William blinked, tears falling down his cheeks as he did so. He nodded sharply at her request, forcing a smile of his own. “William?” She asked, “Why are you crying now?” He bit his lip and chuckled quietly before speaking. “Because…” he said, half laughing, half crying, “Damn it, I don’t want to see you go either.” She looked over all of her children who were now all in tears. “Please, Mom,” Edward pleaded. “Don’t…Don’t…Please…” Alphonse added. “Oh, oh it’s ok….” she tried to sooth them one last time, stroking their hands, “Don’t cry, It will be alright. Shuuush….shushhhh….shhhhhh….” After those words her head rested back into her pillow and she stopped stroking their hands. Her eyes became completely glazed over as the lids closed half way. “Mom?” Edward called, “MOM! MOM PLEASE!” Tears streamed down their faces as the boys tried to wake her again by shaking her arm and squeezing her slowly cooling hands. “Please wake up!” Alphonse whimpered, head lying against the sheet, “Please…” As this occurred, William was silent. As the two boys stopped trying to revive their mother, he took a step forward and placed a solemn hand over her face, closing the eyelids the entire way before he placed a single kiss on her forehead. He lingered next to her for a moment, still staring numbly down at her body. After a moment he took the boy out of the room and sat down with the on the couch, allowing them to cry on his shoulders. Although the tears had come earlier, while the boys were with him he could not bring himself to shed even one. The pain he felt was unlike anything he had experienced before. This woman, this wonderful woman he had the pleasure to call his family, was now gone like a candle light blown out of existence. Only once the boys had cried themselves to sleep and he put them to bed did his tears final come back to him. He was so filled with despair and grief that he felt like he was going to crumble under the weight of the world. A part of his world was now gone forever. A part he cherished. He slammed a fist on the coffee table causing a crack. He hated this universe. He hated it so much. How dare it take from him when he had done nothing to deserve it. Despite this bitter anguish he felt, there was a renewed determination inside him. The world may have taken his dear stepmother from him, but he would not allow it to take his brothers. …. Everything changed after that day. The house felt hollow and empty. For the first few days leading up to the funeral and afterwards, Ed and Al seemed to have lost whatever drive in life they had. They were silent, barely ate, and barely touched the alchemy books they so loved. William had try to encourage them with a lesson, but neither seemed interested. William became worried for his brothers even though he fully understood what they were going through. Trisha’s death had dealt a serious blow to his motivation aswell. Any task he did was performed listlessly as he clung to his promise to take care of the boys now. They were his world now. He had to make sure to keep them as safe and as happy as possible. If they were both of those things, he could rest easy in contentment. So when the pair came home from visiting the cemetery one day with a renewed fire in their eyes and an interest in restarting their alchemy lessons, their older brother was thrilled. They hit the books harder than ever before, pushing themselves to their limits. William became slightly concerned by this, but chalked it up to a coping mechanism. Many people throw themselves into their passions to cope with their losses, so he thought nothing of it. That is…Until he found out about their secret project. …. William was returning home from the farmer’s market early one sunday morning. Due to the heat, few people had been there. Although the heat did bother him, being a homunculus prevented him from being too affected by it. So he was able to buy what he needed without having to deal with too many lines and made it home with in an hour. “Guys! I’m home!” He called as he opened the door. Not a moment after he had done so did he hear a thump from upstairs and some conspiratory muttering followed by silence. William’s brow furrowed before he walked into the home. “Boys?” he called as he set the groceries down and headed upstairs. He heard some shuffling and frowned before getting an idea. “I’m going to start making lunch ok?” He said before stepping down the stairs. He then shapeshifted into a snake and carefully slithered up the steps, careful not to make a noise. Once he reached the top he quickly flung the door open. “William!” they both cried in surprise as the quickly tried to hide what they were working on. “Hah! Got you weasels!” he sneered, “Now what are you two up too?” Edward pushed something behind him under the bed. “Nothing…” he said. “Nothing?” he said raising an eyebrow suspiciously, “Well count me in! I love a good game of nothing.” He then tried to reach around Edward to grab whatever it was he was hiding. “No!”his little brother cried, “Don’t!” He tried to push him away with his feet. William became more frustrated as he fought against his brother. “Come on ya little runt! Show me what you’re hiding!”he pressed, trying to get around him. “I’m not a runt!” Edward shouted, kicking him back. He hit his brother’s stomach and sent him sprawling onto his backside. William huffed as he sat up in annoyance. “It’s not that big of a deal brother, how about-” Alphonse started but was cut off by his eldest brother. “No, now I know I NEED to see it!” He said half annoyed, half mischievously. “Wait!” Alphonse cried, trying to stop him. However, as he reached to grab him, he quickly transformed into a gecko and scuttled under the bed, too fast for either boy to stop him. They both shared a look before audibly swallowing. This was not going to be fun… William reemerged as a snake, dragging the book out into the light. Once he had he immediately recoiled as he recognized it. He stumbled back as he reverted to his human form. “What the….” he breathed, standing up. “What the hell is this!” he demanded, pointing at it, “What the hell are you doing with a book on human transmutation?! How did you even-” he stopped himself as he picked it up and got better look at it. His eyes widened as realization dawned on him. He flipped through the pages to confirm his suspicion. “This is DAD’s book! Are you telling me you broke into his private study? You know you aren’t allowed in there!” He snapped before something stuffed under the desk caught his eye. “And what is this?!”he cried, pulling the papers full of notes out. “William! Don’t!” Alphonse cried, but it was too late. His brother’s eyes were already scanning them and were filling with more and more anger as he did. These were calculations for performing human transmutation. His grip became tighter, starting to rip the papers. “Will stop it!” Edward demanded, reaching for the papers in his brother’s hands. His older brother glared down at him and held the papers . “You were going to use this, weren’t you?” He accused, “You were going to try and resurrect Trisha! Is this why you’ve been begging for harder alchemy lessons?! Is this why you’ve been constantly practicing?!” William had never felt so betrayed before. His own brothers had used him to help them figure out how to do human transmutation. “Maybe…” Edward admitted, “But is it so wrong to want her back in our lives? We miss her! It’s not fair that she’s gone!” “Of course you miss her! Who wouldn’t miss their mother?” William responded in exasperation, “But you can’t go committing human transmutation! It’s a taboo for a reason!” And William knew that reason all too well. It never worked. Not truly. He was proof of that, and there was always some terrible repercussion. His father was lucky he had used what research they had done into the philosopher’s stone to create him, otherwise he could have died in the process. There was no way in hell he was going to let his brothers get mixed up in that. “Why can’t we? Dad did it with you!” Edward retorted, narrowing his eyes at his brother. William growled in response. He just had to go there, didn’t he? “You don’t understand Edward, what you make, that’s not going to be Trisha! It just won’t! And the price you’ll pay for what you’ve done is too steep!” he tried to explain. “Why? you’re still our brother even though you’re a homunculus!” Edward responded. “You are our brother, right Will?” Al asked. William bit his lip. They had all avoided talking about the complexities of his situation to the boys, as they didn’t need to know. However, now it was coming back to bite him. “Yes, but I’m not the son he lost! I’m not, and I never will be!“He said, causing the boys to give confused looks. He then pointed at the book of human transmutation. "And THAT! Whatever you bring to life with that is sure as hell not going to be your mother!” He stated firmly before sighing, “I’m sorry, but there is no way in hell I’ll let you go through this. You have give it up and accept that she’s gone.” Both brothers looked taken aback by his words. “Give it up? Give it up?!” Edward cried in fury, “We can’t just give it up! She’s our mother! We need her!” “It’ll be hard, but You’ll learn to move-” William started but was cut off by Edward. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HUH?!” Edward shouted, “SHE WAS OUR MOTHER! NOT YOURS!” Every one’s eyes widened in horror at Edward’s words including himself. Alphonse brought a hand to his mouth and stared at his brother in disbelief. The child felt absolutely horrible the minute they came out of his mouth. William stood there, cold and motionless, feeling as if someone had just stabbed him through the heart. However, his shock quickly turned to hurt and rage. “You don’t think I didn’t love her or care for her as you did? That my heart wasn’t torn to shreds when she past away?” He growled quietly, “As far as I’m concerned, Trisha was the closest thing I had to a mother in my life! And now she’s gone! Do you really think I’m not affected by this?” “I-I’m so sorry Will, that’s not what I…I was just angry and I,” Edward started, feeling absolutely terrible, “I didn’t really mean it…I know you loved her and she loved you…” However, William didn’t let him finish. “Well you’re wrong! I did care for her. I cared for her so much that I felt my world was in shambles when she died!” He shouted at the boy, “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t find myself missing her, but this isn’t the answer!” He shook the papers in his hand for emphasis. With that immediately began to scoop up all the theorems and Equations on human transmutation, even taking their normal Alchemy books in the process. “Hey! What are you doing?” Edward snapped, “Those are our text books!” As he brushed past Ed he pulled the book on human transmutation off the floor before heading out the room. “Will?” Al asked worriedly, “Will, where are you going?” The two followed after him down the stairs. He marched over to the basement and threw everything inside. It all tumbled down the stairs and into the darkness. He glared at it before closing and locking the door behind him. He then turned to his brothers who were looking up at him expectantly. “No more Alchemy,” he stated firmly, “Not for a few good weeks. And you can expect not to get any lessons from my for longer after that. That is your punishment for trying to commit human transmutation. Now go to you your room.” The boys stared at him, mouths open wide, but they dared not to say anything. They knew they deserved it, if not for what they were planning, but for what Edward had said to their brother. The two shuffled off upstairs. William walked passed them into the kitchen and slumped into the chair. Those idiots! What the hell were they thinking? Were they insane? The could have gotten themselves killed! And the chilling thing was, if he hadn’t gotten home early today, there could have been a good chance that he wouldn’t have found out until it was too late. Hell, he would have still been unconsciously aiding them! With the alchemy lessons he had been giving them, he has bringing them closer and closer to their goal without him realizing. The thought terrified him. He sighed as he held his hed in his hands. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t raise his siblings on his own. Not while they were all still recovering from Trisha’s death. The boys needed someone else in their life, one of their real parents…. …Like his father.