#and though i don't like that messaging that forces of nature can be fought...

[hanzajesthanza]

this looks like a long time but initially it said 1 MONTH 15 days

[honeycreammilkshake]

as both a sukuita and sukuna fan, chapter 268 killed me. at first i thought it was because we finally got another really intimate and highly emotional scene between sukuna and yuuji, and that sukuna chose to die over accepting yuuji's kindness, but now i can't stop thinking about how this entire chapter was such a good character study and a metaphor for one of the most important themes in the story.

in chapter 21, there's a really interesting conversation between junpei and mahito, where junpei disagrees with the quote "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." he knows how evil people can be so he chooses to feel indifferent about human suffering instead. mahito's view on this is also really intriguing, especially considering how he is a curse born from the hate people share for each other.

i could be wrong but it sounds like the basic message here is that deadening yourself to such intense feelings — love or hate — is a type of retaliation for being hurt or consumed by them. which makes me wonder if sukuna had a similar story to junpei, and if that explains how he became what he is.

we know that sukuna wasn't wanted as a child. he was more than likely rejected by both normal society and the jujutsu world. like junpei he was probably treated cruelly or strongly made aware of the many people who hated him. sukuna claimed to know what love is, but i think what he actually understood was the absence of love. he understood maybe what it means to others, but he had never felt or experienced it himself.

which brings me back to junpei's idea that indifference should be the solution. this is kind of the same philosophy sukuna has: he believes in this unshakable hierarchy of strength where the weak should have no right to lament their suffering. his idea was that the strongest were indifferent to suffering, that it's greedy to be lonely because of this. he calls it his "nature" to live in this self-indulgent way that is completely uncaring and selfish.

but then there's yuuji.

yuuji has been alone for a lot of his life. at the beginning, he doesn't have any really close friends, since even the other occult club members don't know him all that well. his only family was wasuke, who was difficult and pushed people away, including yuuji.

after his grandfather's death, he wanted to do right and fulfill wasuke's request of helping people, to be able to die surrounded by those he cares about. he pretty much gave his life to help other people by accepting responsibility as sukuna's vessel, and shows concern and kindness even to strangers.

he seems the exact opposite of sukuna and he stands for all the things that the king of curses hates... so why is it that someone sukuna considers so weak has so much power over him?

the only one who's really managed to make sukuna rethink his ideas of the world has been yuuji. even sukuna acknowledged that he was affected more by yuuji than anyone else.

to him, those who challenged him 1000 years ago were "other people." his relationship with yuuji was and always has been so special that even he admits it.

sukuna mostly strived for indifference his entire life. consuming so many humans was merely a way for him to pass the time until death, as he said, and those tastes were passing and unmemorable for the most part. everything was so unfeeling about the way he made his philosophy sound during his conversation with kashimo, and he couldn't answer as to why he would decide to cross the ages into modern life if his life before had been truly satisfactory. it's like he wasn't even moved to support his own ideals.

but here yuuji is... an annoying brat he called weak and boring, yet every time they fought sukuna looked thrilled and even impressed, though he resented it. and every time yuuji challenged him, sukuna was bothered enough to challenge him right back.

"the opposite of love is indifference." if this is true, sukuna was most likely forced into his indifference due to the fact he was never wanted or loved. but yuuji awakened so many feelings inside of him, too many. living as sukuna's vessel, they shared such a close connection while still opposing each other in every single way. yuuji represented the intense feelings of both love and hate in the way he fought so hard for others while sukuna's own indifference started to break the longer he spent inside of yuuji. he was far more reactive to yuuji than with others, and had even given him special treatment. there were many times he could have killed yuuji or his friends, but he didn't.

yuuji has made it clear that he hates sukuna's indifference to the value of people's lives.

sukuna's indifference towards life is against everything yuuji believes in but strangely enough, yuuji was still willing to accept sukuna. to not only pity him, but to have genuine empathy and compassion for such a monster as well.

he even says to sukuna that they are the same, despite seeming to be complete opposites of each other.

to me, yuuji saying that the monster sukuna became was a matter of chance, shows that he understands how indifference cut sukuna off from having a different fate.

there is a vast area of shades between love and hate, unlike the overwhelmingly static state of indifference. yuuji was showing those shades of love and hate to sukuna, telling him that they could live in the mixed shades of both.

and i really wished sukuna chose to coexist with both that love and hate and remain with yuuji. but he was too used to being indifferent and rejected that offer.

i'm really hoping we get to see yuuji's thoughts on this in the next few chapters, because he looked truly disappointed by sukuna's rejection.

[short-for-melancholy]

Intro post, intro post... this'll do for now

Hi hi! Mel's not my real name, she's just a character of mine, but you can call me that and I'll respond to it. I'm a writer with little to show for it. I like cats, creating fantasy characters, and collecting and cataloging isekai anime.

I rarely follow anyone back because I'm very particular about what ends up on my dash, but if I see you in my notes I will take notice and consider you a friendly acquaintance, so don't be afraid to interact with me!

If you want to DM me and I don't know you, please tell me what you're messaging me about! It makes me anxious if you just say "hi" and I'll block you instead of dealing with it. There's no such restriction on Asks, though!

I'm aroace so whatever you do, don't flirt with me<3

the following is a collection of information about my ocs! you can click their names for a link to their associated posting tag, and for collections of girls, you can click on each one's name for a link to their personal introductory post.

Girlie Compendium

Mel

24, 5'6", cis, lesbian, human

it's not actually short for melancholy, she's just mel. as a child, mel's family died protecting her and she was left orphaned in the street. with nothing left to live for, but unable to justify suicide after her family's sacrifice, mel picked up a blade and threw herself into adventuring, hoping to die excusably in an attempt to provide for herself. 18 years later, she finds herself the strongest swordsman alive, having survived encounters with every monster shes come across, though not without scars. she has no special skills or magic, but her ability to fight without fearing death and her natural combat prowess have served her frustratingly well. mel leads a solitary, untethered life, as expected of one who never expects to make it home. her most notable wound is her missing left hand, which was incinerated when she first fought a dragon at age 12. since dragonfire wounds never fully recover, she has to keep much of her arm bandaged to keep the smouldering flesh from spreading further.

Hikari Ni'naritai

25, 5'4", cis, aroace, moon miqote

(art by @atelier-aria)

hikari is my final fantasy 14 warrior of light character. a former conscript of the garlean military in othard, hikari changed her name and defected to eorzea in an attempt to escape her vicious past. if youre not familiar with japanese, 'hikari ni naritai' translates to 'i want to become light', and she's made this a personal creed. her story after defecting follows the events of the game pretty closely, though her meteoric rise to the status of Hero did untold damage to her mental health. her favorite things include fighting, sugary sweets, costuming, and fishing. she started adventuring as a mage, but shes too stupid to cast spells and is much more comfortable in a physical role. her primary driving force is her need to be a perfect, shining example of infallible heroism, and her secondary motivation is redeeming her enemies, because as the worst person to ever walk the earth, she has to believe that everyone can change so she can believe in her own change.

Aoi Furukane

28, [height to be updated, shes shorter tho], cis, bisexual polyamorous, au ra

aoi is hikari's normie friend! they met on the ship to vesper bay, separated when aoi continued to limsa, but met back up again later. aoi left a comfortable life in kugane to go where the wind takes her, which happened to be adventuring in eorzea. she was present with hikari through stormblood, but didnt take part in shadowbringers, and now serves in a more supportive role as hikari's problems become more and more world-threatening. she did go to the new world with her for dawntrail though, as a vacation that quickly went out of control. even when shes not involved though, aoi serves as hikari's confidant and closest friend. she was the first to learn about her past and often lends an ear to her depressed ramblings. aoi's a mage and a healer. her hobbies include scrapbooking, crochet, wearing leather jackets, and helping cid finalfantasy test fucked up motorcycles.

Euthalia "Lia" Pontikos

1024, 6', cis, pansexual aromantic, elf

Lia is a monument to my hubris. she is the epitome of what i believe a wizard is. lia is an elf who has exactly two hobbies: studying magic and having weird polymorph sex. she's always looking for new knowledge and experiences, but she has trouble forming connections with others and doesnt emote well. after pioneering and mastering magic as an adventurer, lia grew bored and developed a spell to travel to a different random universe, where she would be able to study the magic there from scratch. she's repeated this process numerous times, visiting a number of worlds and developing a minor interest in cataloguing curious similarities between worlds, until she landed on a world that didn't have magic. luckily, it was technologically advanced enough for her to get a job working on warp speed space travel, and she stole their prototype ship to escape that universe in a desperate gamble. she's now spent the last 500 or so years searching for a way to gain some kind of inborn magic to use in case of similar emergencies. she hasnt managed it yet.

Anestesia "Nest" Blackmoor

17, 5'7", girl-adjacent (she/they), demisexual lesbian, human

Nest is the daughter of two shitty nobles. Due to her poor behavior as a child, her parents sent her to a remote boarding school to learn proper decorum. this did not work, obviously. she often snuck out to play with a family of orcs she found while exploring the woods around the school, where she learned to fight. nest's primary hobby is getting into unnecessary fist fights, and their second hobby is protecting girls. occasionally these goals align but mostly she just likes fighting. surprisingly, nest is actually smart, and she picked up a baseline level of magic at school, which she's been working to incorporate with her swordplay. nest is still figuring out her sexuality but im sure if they find a girl to protect, that will sort itself out pretty quick.

Violet

real age ???, physical age 14, 4'8", Girl Presumably, aroace, human?

(art by @s-lycopersicum)

violet has a few iterations, like an automaton created by a vampire horologist, but in her primary iteration she was a mid-tier modron in Mechanus in the service of the god of order Primus. modrons can be promoted from one tier to a higher tier when a spot needs filled, and by a similar process violet was 'promoted' to a human, as a sort of experiment to see if order could be restored to the material plane in this way. however, between the confusion of the human experience and her lack of clear orders (she was simply ordered to Increase Order), violet was a failure. she woke up in a dark bedroom, so she put everything in the room in alphabetical order and left through the window, where she walked due north until she luckily came to a city with a temple to primus in it. a worker there named Enba (created by @neurodecadence) took pity on her and allowed her to stay, where she was given a name and earned her keep organising the library every day. after a year, she felt the presence of her god leave her and realised she somehow misunderstood their directions. now she is searching for a new way to bring Order. violet has a curious interest in fashion, though she doesnt understand it at all. she's red-green colourblind. she reorganises her things every day, with different sorting methods. she gives off the air of something very obviously trying to imitate a human girl, but in a cute way rather than an unsettling way.

Valyrie

35, 6'3", trans woman, demisexual lesbian, half-elf

valyrie was orphaned when her hometown was burned down. she was rescued by a priestess of a temple and taken in, where she was raised as a holy assassin. she's a proper follower of the god they worship, but her duties to the church come second to her quest for vengeance against the person who destroyed her home and family. officially, her title is Priestess, and she introduces herself as such, but she prefers to wear a priest's outfit. she likes the pants. she keeps most of her body covered to hide her burn scars. valyrie's physique is most similar to a starved child stretched on a torture rack. she rarely smiles because her smile scares children. she's soft-spoken but firm. she could sneak a knife into a public bath.

Dr. Anarcha "Ann" Marion

30, 5'6", cis, lesbian, human

Ann Marion got her medical license revoked for performing experimental healing magic on a patient, resulting in his death. the patient was doomed anyway, and she only did it as a last resort, but it was determined that the pain experienced by the patient caused him to go into shock, accelerating his death and therefore placing the blame firmly on Dr. Marion's shoulders. despite healing magic being the domain of the divine, dr marion is more attempting to replicate the effects through intellectual arcane means. she rejects the gods for creating humanity to be so eminently fallible and murderable. her goal is to overcome death and evil through advanced medical technology. she has since completed her work on her healing spell (including an anesthetic preparation) and continues to experiment with more advanced healing. in its early stages, dr marion's healing spells would leave a visible herringbone-pattern scar, but she's perfected it now. she has several of those scars on left her arm from where she practiced on herself. she has a pet adder that she's modified to replace its venom with healing potion. her primary combat spells are for healing, but she does also work with necrotic spells, poisons, and diseases for damage.

Cassidy

32, 5'11", trans woman, lesbian, half-elf

cassidy comes from a very large family. her parents are a legendary 5-member adventuring-party-turned-polycule who've spawned a catastrophic number of exceptional children. each of her dozens of older siblings are independently famous or powerful in some way, including her identical twin brother. cassidy took a more mellow path in life and got married. unfortunately, her wife died in childbirth, and cassidy did not deal with it well. she left their child with her wife's parents and went off to try and find herself adventuring, even though she knows she'll never live up to her family's reputation and skills. she is so tired. currently partied up with Caroline.

Adela, Witch of the Veil

???, 7', cis, aromantic lesbian, erstwhile elf

Adela is the rotting corpse of an ancient evil reanimated by a god of peace and forced to serve. she hates this so so much. she once subjugated the world as the dreaded Witch of the Veil, leading terrible armies against the forces of good and laying waste to whole cities with a single wave of her staff or swing of her blade. now, adela is forced to do good deeds and protect others under penalty of death. she cannot even suggest violence. as such, she relishes any opportunity to kill afforded to her by her work as an adventurer, though such privileges must be granted by her church-assigned handler. her primary goal is to reclaim the relics of her ascension from the old days (her Veil, her Blade, and her Staff) so she can break the god's hold on her and resume her quest of world domination. critically, this will not work.

Elyria

23, 5'3", cis (derogatory), bisexual, human

Elyria is an annoying nightmare of a woman who shows up in a number of universes and has been noted by Lia as a 'curious and irritating multiversal semiconstant'. she's an accomplished and deadly assassin with a talent for arcane magic and a fanatical obsession with the holiest god she can find in whatever universe has spawned her. she dedicates all her kills to the god she worships and claims her arcane tricks are divine magic granted to her because she is a holy servant of the lord. she frequently uses a nun's habit as a disguise for her work, and she also uses it to indulge in her nun kink. sometimes these two goals intertwine. its her greatest joy to defile the divine with her earnest, misguided worship. whatever god she worships hates her so so much and wants her dead. shes dumb as hell and i love her.

étoile

???, 3', sexless girl, aroace, doll

étoile was created by a mad wizard in the throes of apotheostic euphoria as a tool through which she could maintain a connection to the material world as she ascended to godhood. She can't speak, but she's able to communicate concepts and feelings telepathically. She's not shy per se, but she takes a while to open up to others and doesn't readily offer information about herself. But once she's more comfortable, she's very open about what she wants and how she feels, in her own way. If she likes you, she'll let you write your name in her Cursed Book so she can write messages into your brain or maybe save your life. The wizard god IS potentially watching everything through her eyes, but it's impossible to know when, and étoile wouldn't have told you anyway.

Caroline Miller

23, 5'5", cis, we'll call her "bicurious", human

Caroline Miller is a normal girl with no problems. She grew up as the middle child (of 5) in a loving family who ran the mill in a midsized rural community. She's very friendly and quick to pick up on others' emotions. She decided to become an adventurer because of a local coming-of-age tradition wherein the mayor, an amateur diviner, foretold that she would make an excellent adventurer. She attended some local seminars on adventuring basics before moving to the city to intern with an established party and get some hands-on experience. With her natural charisma and familiarity with the family lute, she took on the mantle of Bard. At the end of her internship, she celebrated by getting drunk with her party and dying a streak of her hair pink. Currently partied up with Cassidy, but she has yet to meet her eccentric family.

Robin

???, 5'10", cis, lesbian, soul bound to a weapon

Robin is the closest thing I have to a universal game avatar. She began as an NPC in my DnD game, but I've created her in Monster Hunter and Bloodborne and will continue creating her in any action game i play that lets me. She was created initially as an excuse to have a scythe-wielding character in my game despite scythes being extremely unwieldy, so her general lore is that a powerful wizard bound her soul to a scythe, and then some other more kind wizard created a body she would be able to possess so she could pass as human. Unfortunately, since she needs to maintain contact with the body to possess it, she's had to learn to wield herself as an effective weapon. The exact weapon she's bound to changes from game to game, and her canon is more fluid than most of my other OCs to allow her to fit other settings. She's a generally carefree woman who loves adventure and fighting, and she doesn't tend to think too deeply about anything.

Unnamed Angel

???, 5'9", sexless girl, aroace, fallen angel

one day i'll name her... the angel once served a great creation god, but when that god was destroyed, all the angels in his service fell to the material realm. as a creature created for the purpose of worship, she shows extreme reverence towards all creation, especially living creatures, but shows similar reverence towards destruction, because the object of her worship was destroyed. desecration of life is an act of divine worship, and she finds particular beauty in the eyes of living things, which she preserves and collects. She often spends a great deal of time staring at her own eye in the mirror, though she's managed to hold back the urge to pluck it out so far.

Elemental Sisters

Peach: ???, 5'7", cis, aroace, earth-aspected human

Eltah: ???, 5'10", cis, bisexual, water-aspected human

Vasch: ???, 5'0", cis, aromantic lesbian, air-aspected human

Lefah: ???, 5'3", cis, demi, fire-aspected human

Four kidnapped orphans whose hearts were fused with the cores of elementals, granting them powerful combat abilities. raised by their creator, a monstrously abusive paranoid minor noble dabbling in unethical science, to believe themselves to be artificial homunculi whose lives were directly tied to their creator's, they first discovered this to be false when he was killed by Eltah and they were forced to flee. now, with nothing but each other and their ludicrous combat power, the girls struggle to understand that they might not be merely weapons after all. NOTE that they are not biologically sisters or related in any way! so it's okay when they kiss!

Seven Deadly Sisters of the Ruined House of Everart

First Sister of Greed, Reese Everart: 29, 5'11", cis, ???, human

Second Sister of Pride, Vana Everart: 27, 5'6", cis, ???, human

Third Sister of Wrath, Ira Everart: 27, 5'6", cis, ???, human

Fourth Sister of Lust, Erin Everart: 24, 5'9", cis, bi, human

Fifth Sister of Sloth, Aletha Everart: 21, 5'2", cis, ???, human

Sixth Sister of Envy, Orchid Everart: 19, 5'4", cis, ???, human

Seventh Sister of Gluttony, Zalea Everart: 19, 5'4", cis, ???, human

When Baron Lucius Everart and his wife Liliana angered the corrupt nobles of the kingdom, they found their seven beautiful daughters cursed with wickedness, and within a year the pair was dead, and the house fallen to ruin. In the ensuing argument, these seven went their separate ways, vowing to never see each other again. But years later, Vana seeks out Aletha (who had not left the abandoned manor) and together they embark on a quest to reunite the seven sisters and restore glory to the house of Everart, and hopefully break their curses in the process. Note that these ones ARE biological sisters, so we won't be discussing them kissing each other.

[solaurous]

All General Jiyan can hear from his terminal is the sound of static and incomplete words that make no sense. Golden eyes close as weighs his options, and then hopes that the interference isn’t as bad from the Overwatch base or that, at least, the frequencies he’s sending can be deciphered. “The waveworn phenomenon is interfering with the signal. Advisor Fu Xuan, I won’t be able to give any orders until the rescue team arrives or the multiple TD outbreaks are dealt with, so I trust your judgment on how to handle the emergency from your end.” That was his last message. He calculated that it would take, at minimum, two hours between transportation, analyzing the terrain and making sure that the explosion to open a passage won’t make the cave crumble, burying everyone trapped inside. Until then, he has to fight the multiple waves of TD and ensure the safety of the injured rangers. His tacet mark glowed then, and qinglong materialized into a wind spear. His voice was resolute when he talked to the injured rangers. “Everyone who is capable of standing up, focus on treating your own wounds and then provide first aid care to your unconscious and heavily injured teammates. I’ll ensure your safety until the rescue team arrives.” He’s counting on you, Fu Xuan. / @caemthe

hands  quiver,   hidden  &   away  from  prying  eyes  underneath  the   table   as   the  advisor   LISTENED  to  the  message              the  order  clear  as  day.    yet  an   angry   roar   filled   lungs,    as  it   threatened  to  break   free  from  lips.     hardened  by  their  live's  nature  the  woman  remained   CALM / SILENT   on  the  outside.    the  general   was  right,   precise  in  his  orders  &   thought  process  she   discerned  but  her  heart   was  aching  nonetheless.    their  bond   was     STRONG    as   the  defence  line  against  the  TD   outbreaks.    but  their  bond  as   something  akin  to   friends   (  to  her  )    was     FRAGILE / SENSITIVE ;      the want  to  abandon  her  position  to  go  retrieve  the  general  herself  almost  unbearably  strong.    she  fought  like  a    LIONNESS ,     her  shield  &  spear  unyielding  in  the  face  of   danger.     she  knew  though,   that  her  support  back  here  was  needed.

the  shaking  finally  stopping,  fu  xuan  turned  with   STEEL - LIKE  RESOLVE   shimmering  in  coppre - golden  embers.  lips  set  into  a clear  &   conscious  line.         there  was  no  time  for  selfishness,   for  weak  hearts  &   silly  wishes.      the  people  depended  on  them.  on  him  to   HOLD  OUT                             on  her  to  direct  their  efforts  so  the  general  could  be  retrieved  alongside  every  other  personel  in  danger  there  with  him.          ❛                               you've  heard  the  general.   i'm  in  charge  now.   double  the  personel   on   each   team  &  focus  your  efforts  on   erasing   the  outbreaks.        once  we've   ELIMINATED   the  threat  on  our  way,  we'll   head   out  for  the  caves.   the  general   is   making  sure  we  have  time   to   do  our  duty  protecting  civilians.      ❜            hands   firm,    weapon   summoned  into  her  hands    (  one  spear,   one  shield )    she  stood   as   the  purple / rose  flashes  from  summoning  subside,    knowing  that   eyes   from  their  forces   LINGERED  'PON  HER.  

 ❛                      let's  save    everyone.      ❜      &   with   that,    soldiers  nodded    APPROVINGLY / AFFIRMINGLY   as   captains  started  to  structure  teams.        '  don't  worry,   general.   we  are  on  the  way.  '         hoping  he'd   feel   the   TRUST   she  &  everyone  else  had  in  him,  fu  xuan   descended   the  stairs.      there  was   TD  outbreaks  to  deal   with.    her  anger  was   BREWING  within  mimic  as  she   left  the  building.    battle  dawned  'pon   them,     many  battles.            ❛                           this  is  for  you,   general.   you  better  be  unharmed  when  we  make  it  there.     ❜     she  whispered   towards  the  sky   in  a  moment  of   preparation  as  their  forces  leave  for  the  task  at  hand.    she'd    join  them  soon.         no  commander  works  from   behind   the  scenes  all  the  time   afterall  &    she   was  itching / wanting  to  get  some  excercise  herself.     it  only  felt  right  to  be  there  alongside  everyone. 

[lalunight]

Mercy | Jake Lockley x Reader

Worth An Oscar | Masterlist

Context: Jake came home from work filled with rage and hatred for failing a mission for the first time, and it was all because of you. To make amends, you devised the best possible way for him to forgive you, even if it meant losing your ability to walk for the next few days.

Warning: Vulgar Words, Descriptive Sex, Sexual Content, Bruises, Momentary Aggressive Behavior, Floor Sex, Slight Sexual Degradations, Dom Jake/Sub Reader, Slight Choking, Love(?) Marks, Angst, Idiots in love, Spanish

Prompt: "I am your God"

The day began as usual, with Jake leaving you in bed with no sign or message as to when he would return; he never cared about how you felt whenever he simply disappeared. And you never got used to it after years of living with him as his girlfriend. It always caused problems between the two of you, and he'd always win by saying things like "It's dangerous for you to know" or "It's best if you just don't interfere."

But you've had your fill. You knew you couldn't just stand there dumbfounded while he fought off some guys somewhere around the world.

So, even though you knew he'd blow up if he found out you were following him, you went ahead with your plan. It was a plan to find out where he was and what he was up to; you knew he was an avatar of Khonshu, but that doesn't put your mind at ease. You just worry that one day he won't return, and you couldn't live with that, even imagining it made you sick to the core.

You finally tracked him down after a few days of meticulous planning, and to your surprise, he wasn't far from home this time. A storm was approaching that day, so the streets were deserted, and the clouds were raining heavily, accompanied by the deafening sound of violent lightning. Everything was going swimmingly at first, and you managed to trail behind him without him noticing. It was so simple that you were perplexed as to why everything was going so well for you...probably too well.

Then it happened.

Your fear has come true, but lucky you, it has been doubled. Jake discovered you were with him, but he wasn't the first to notice your presence; his enemies did, and you became a significant burden for Jake, causing him to fail this critical mission.

And to make matters worse, you got hurt.

Just seeing Jake's glare bore right through you like a raging fire made you want to curl up like a hurt puppy, because you knew things were only going to get worse from here.

You were already aware of Jake's true nature, and yet you remained with him. People called you names for it, and you haven't heard from them since Jake discovered it. It was one of the things you loved about him, but it was also the same thing you feared the most.

Jake has a predatory nature that no one can change. And now that you've been apprehended, you're now like his helpless little prey.

Another burst of ear-splitting lightning was accompanied by Jake's soaked boot kicking the front door open; to be honest, his kick was shriller than the sound from above. And it made you worried that he might have broken it in the process, but the first thing you should be concerned about is yourself.

His hand violently pulled on your forearm, forcing you to enter the house before angrily pushing you away, almost knocking you off your slippery feet. "Eres tan estúpida, tan jodidamente estúpida!," Jake hasn't stopped swearing at the top of his lungs since that mission. When he slammed the door shut and yanked at his hair in rage, you visibly flinched.

"I'm sorry, Jake." You had also not stopped apologizing for your folly. You were terrified of what he would do knowing you wouldn't be able to stop him. You held your bruised arm, marked by Jake's deadly grip and his nails, which had a little blood seeping out of them. "Please, Jake—

"Cierra la boca maldita mujer!"

You couldn't help but obey his orders, so you pursed your quivering lips shut, hoping to block out the continuous loud sobs that irritated him. Jake clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white, he glared at you wide-eyed, dark wet locks hanging from his brow and some blood still beneath his sharp cheek bones.

You hugged yourself, your knees buckling in fear in front of the man you love. Thousands of voices are screaming at you to get out of there, that this is your cue to leave him, but you stayed because you didn't want to lose Jake. That's why you came up with that stupid plan in the first place.

Jake laughed furiously, harshly wiping the raindrop that was still streaming down his brow. "How many times have I told you not to interfere?" he snarled, gritting his teeth so hard they might break.

"I-I was just so worried about you..." You sobbed, being careful with your words in fear of adding more fuel to the already raging fire.

"Did you know how many times Khonshu had ordered me to kill you?" he confessed, disregarding the fact that his words would continue to hurt you. "He told me you're nothing but a dumb burden, a fucking woman who can mess up everything," he sneered as he slowly approached your stunned figure, aggressively pointing at you and not letting his eyes leave your teary ones.

Every word he spoke was filled with nothing but pure truth, leaving your heart feeling pierced by thousands of spears.

"And you know what? Dios, he was right," he blurted, harshly running his shaking hand through his hair, nodding to himself as your reaction only fueled his fire.

Your mouth fell agape, your breath shaking and chest tightening in anguish. His careless words, the annoying stinging sensation in your arm, and the trembles in your body caused by the coldness of your still-soaked body made you feel uncomfortably lightheaded. It was as if the world had shrunk and all you could hear were Jake's repeated words.

Jake rolled his eyes and backed away slightly, snickering at the sight of you crying like a lost child in the park. He gave you a look you never expected to get from him; you always thought you were an exception because he loves you, but you were completely mistaken.

...love...has he ever told you, "I love you"?

And it made you think that in all your time together, he hasn't said those words yet. It was all you, and he'll just hum back. Is that why he never seemed to care how you felt when he was doing his job? If that's the case, what are you to him? Just a woman to sleep with after he's finished murdering people?

Are you even his girlfriend or are you a woman he only use for pleasure?

But you refuse to believe that. You know there's something in him that cares even a little bit about you because you'd be long gone by now if there wasn't.

As you pursed your lips tightly together to muster the courage to speak up, your nails dug into your clothed flesh. Your brows knit, allowing your eyes to cry in front of the man who looks disgusted by you. "Now what? A-Are you going to kill me now?" you asked, struggling to keep eye contact with him when he suddenly came to a halt at your question.

Jake narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, surprised that you were bold enough to ask the question. "I should," He took a step towards you, scrutinizing your reactions to his blunt confessions. You wanted to move away, but you couldn't decide whether it was due to the cold breeze of the storm or fear of Jake.

Jake slowly raised your chin to face him with his curled index finger once you were both in close proximity. You harshly chewed the inside of your quivering lips in sorrow, closing your eyes and letting the tears fall down your flushed cheeks. Was he about to kill you now? Maybe he should, because what you did was way beyond Jake's tolerance.

"Pero el problema es que no quiero..."

Another hand softly brushed against the side of your face, rough thumbs caressing your tears away as you continued to refuse to open your eyes. 

Jake exhaled sharply, letting his lids drop halfway before tightly gripping your chin with his two fingers. "We both don't want that, do we?" He drawled, his nails sinking into your chin as he grew irritated that you weren't opening your eyes. You slightly gasped and forced your eyes open, only to see Jake smirking back at you. "Do you?" His large hands cupped your head, lifting his chin and moving your head with it.

Your lips curled into a frown, your eyes welling up again as you shook your head slowly. "Buen," he huffed, proud of the fact that he still had you tangled around his fingers. His predatory eyes landed on your slightly puffed lips, "Now make it up to me," he lowly demanded before leaning in and hungrily trapping your lips between his.

Although you were beginning to drown in the way he moved so delicately, something inside you demanded an answer from him. But you were afraid that if you asked now, you'd wake up the now-calming beast inside him.

So, as much as you despise the fact that he's just using you again, you'll have to play with it until you get the right opportunity. And perhaps that chance will come after he fucks you mercilessly here on the cold, wet floor.

Jake's hands instantly dropped to your waist, drawing you inexorably closer to him as his teeth sunk brutally into your swollen ones, and you were certain it had already bled. "Jake..." you whimpered, hurt by his rough actions, but he ignored you and drew you in for a deeper, more sensual kiss. 

Your hands found his hair and carefully tugged at it, not wanting to aggravate him any further. Many people will say it's stupid if this is all he wants from you, but you're willing to stay because you're too deeply in love with him to leave him now. Jake groaned in your mouth as he ran his tongue seductively across your lips to taste the blood he had caused, his hands swiftly unzipping your jeans before abruptly turning you around and pressing himself harder against your back.

Feeling him already hard behind you caused you to close your eyes, your hands still reaching for him, before you audibly gasped as he roughly bit your neck. You hissed, hurt by the lingering sensation of his mouth on your bruised neck before sensually licking your slightly exposed collar bone. "Defy me again and see what happens, hm?" he threatened, now slipping his hands into your already soaked panties and causing you to moan loudly. You clenched your thighs around his large hands, which brushed against your wet and sensitive folds. Jake's other hand grabbed your stomach and harshly pressed you against him, preventing you from arching your back in pleasure.

"Fuck, you're already wet for me, huh? What a slut you are..." He smirked in your ears, his authoritative baritone voice adding to the arousal that's quickly clouding your mind. When you felt him easily slip his fingers inside, you threw back your head, not noticing that you were starting to rock your hips to chase your high with only his hands. Jake saw your desperation and clicked his tongue in annoyance before firmly grasping your waist and forcing you to remain still. "Oh Jake," you mewled, frantically grabbing him behind you to keep yourself from collapsing as he began to finger-fuck you.

"My, my, is this what you want? Is that why you can't obey a single order of not following me? Are you afraid that no one will ever be able to let you feel this way again? Such a fucking whore," He growled as he busied himself with every exposed skin he could suck on, unconcerned about leaving a permanent bruise. You squirmed as the familiar furious heat built up on your lower belly, pressing harder on Jake, causing him to grunt behind you.

You couldn't properly respond to his words because the only thing coming out of your mouth right now is you yelling his name lewdly and making noises that he enjoys hearing. You were now deep in ecstasy, your senses beginning to shut down, and the only thing you could focus on was the unfathomable, knees buckling pleasure Jake was giving you.

You couldn't help but arch your back and shut your eyes tight as Jake began to relentlessly buck his hips, unable to hold himself back any longer. Even though he was still wearing his jeans, his hardness was palpable, so hard that you began to suspect it was painful.

Despite the fact that you were both soaked in the rain earlier and that it is now freezing cold, you found warmth in each other's bodies. You tried muffling your sounds when Jake's hands darted to your throat, slowly starting to tighten his grip, but incredibly failed. With the rocking of his hips, his mouth and hand still exploring your abused neck, his fingers running over the bundle of nerves that had your thighs tighten around them, and Jake's dirty talks, you were getting closer to your obvious violent release than ever before.

"Do you want to come? Huh? Is that what you want?" he asked mockingly as you writhed in front of him. You nodded frantically, your mouth wide open and your face contorted in pleasure. Jake chuckled against your ear, sighing in exasperation before tightening his grip on your throat, causing your breath to hitch.

"Use your goddamn words, lady," he grumbled, his grip tightening. You briefly closed your eyes, feeling your chest contract due to a lack of oxygen. "Y-yes, please!" you pleaded desperately, but your words were barely audible as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, sensing you were too close to the edge.

Your nails, which were tightly wrapped around Jake's working hands, sunk deeper until you realized they would most likely leave marks until tomorrow, if not longer, causing Jake to hiss at the sensation.

With his fingers expertly slipping in and out of you, it wasn't long before your knees gave out and the house was filled with Jake's name. You closed your eyes tightly, attempting to block out the violent stars that continued to obscure your vision as you panted heavily. Knowing it would take some time to come down from the high Jake had put you on, you leaned back and rested your head on his shoulder.

It's always like this; whenever you reach your climax, you'll always struggle to come down. After all, it was Jake who made you like this.

But he's only just getting started.

Jake slowly let go of your neck and held your waist firmly, his other hand now slipping out of your underwear, making you shudder in response. "I love it when you wet my hands," he whispered in your ear, but your senses are still jumbled, making it difficult to understand him clearly. It wasn't until you opened your eyes that you noticed Jake languidly sucking on his fingers, his eyes closed as if he was tasting the most luscious thing he'd ever put his tongue on. It made you whine as you continued to watch him, and hearing him hum in satisfaction only heated you up more.

You bit your bloodied lip as the tip of his fingers popped out of his mouth, glistening his rosy lips as he looked back at you with piercing eyes. "Strip and lay on the ground," he ordered, and you nodded and took off all of your clothes while bending your knees and carefully turning yourself to sit on the ground. You knew where this was going, so you moved quickly to avoid making Jake wait any longer. You heard him chuckle at you before stepping back to watch you completely, now taking off all of his drenched clothes.

You quietly gasped as you felt the cold hard floor on your palms and shaking knees, but you couldn't complain because Jake wanted to do it here. Finally settling into the position he preferred, you angled your hips upward, allowing him to see your entire arched back and how your hair was ready to be tugged at. You knew you'd be sore after this because you were on the ground and seemed to have no mercy from Jake, but you still wanted it.

"What are you doing? I mean lay on your back," he clarified as he knelt behind you. You raised your head in perplexity before looking over your shoulder at him, and he gave you a 'So? What are you waiting for?' expression.

"D-don't you want to do it like this? We always do it like this," you asked softly, your brows meeting. Jake was the guy who always did it on all fours; you've never done it while he's laying on top of you; he claims he just enjoys looking at your back while you writhe beneath him. You sat up slowly, palms still on the ground, waiting for Jake. "The floor is cold, you're going to hurt your knees, and it's not soft enough to plant your face onto, I'll end up hurting you more than I already did," he muttered, looking at your hand, which had nail marks and some smudged blood.

You quickly covered it and tried to reassure him, but he simply shuts you up with a rough and hungry kiss while his hands latch on your waist, swiftly turning you around and spreading your legs with his hand so he can settle between them. Jake Lockley, as impatient as he always is, it surprised you that he's still caring about your well-being...well, sort of.

You gasped as you felt the cold floor touch your ass and back, and Jake used this as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside you, making you whimper at feeling him being so desperate to taste you.....wait, Jake, desperate? No, you're just imagining things...or are you? You shook your thoughts away before wrapping your arms around his neck and deepening the already abysmal kiss. Jake groaned in your mouth as your fingers got carried away and tugged harshly on his hair, but it wasn't the type to tell you to stop, it was the type to tell you to do it again.

And you tried it again, scratching at his scalp and grabbing a handful of his hair before clenching your fists, eliciting another groan with your name from him and him tightening his grip on your upper arm while his other hand pulled on your ass, pulling you closer to him.

Jake finally let go, allowing air to pass through your aching airway. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest, and you were dizzy from almost suffocating from Jake's kiss. He lowered his head and took hold of his throbbing cock before aligning it in your dripping entrance. He looked at you to see if you were ready and smirked when he saw you biting your lower lip in anticipation. "You've been waiting for this, hm?" he teased before rubbing only the tip of his dick on your clit. "Jake," you gasped, tightening your grip on his neck.

"First, tell me you won't do it again," he demanded in a breathy tone that made you want to rock your hips. He was probably referring to your earlier mistake, "Yes, I won't do it again, I promise," you whined, clenching your throbbing cunt to feel some friction but it wasn't enough. "You'd better do it, mi reina, or I'll leave you hanging like this, and you know I always keep my word," he threatened before biting your upper arm, which he was still firmly holding. You nodded frantically, not intending to disobey him for the second time.

Jake looked at you, a worry flashing through his eyes as he scrutinized your face, at how you looked incredibly wrecked beneath him. But as his worries faded, they were replaced by carnal desire, which he only feels when he's with you. Jake kissed the bite mark gently before mercilessly slamming his hips into you, causing you to scream lewdly in response. Jake didn't stop thrusting his hips until he reached a rhythm that had you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, despite the fact that you knew you needed a second to adjust.

You felt another violent orgasm quickly build up inside you, much larger than before, and you knew this was gonna the reason your legs would be completely useless the next day. You arched your back painfully against Jake's heaving and sweaty chest, drawing him close with your arm as he dropped his head on your neck, grunting with every thrust he made as well as the constant biting of your flesh.

If someone were to enter your home, they'd probably be traumatized for life.

Jake's skin pounding against yours, his breathless groans, and the wet squelch of both your bodies added to the raging heat that built up on your lower belly. And it appears that Jake's relentless thrusts weren't enough, because he made certain that he hit all the spots that had you moaning loudly, a moaning mess that he enjoys turning you into.

Jake's mouth was agape, and the fact that he was closing his eyes because he felt so good inside of you only added to his charismatic appearance. He looked like a fucking God, everything he did was flawless, and even him just wearing his hat made you fucking feral. Aside from numbing your lower half, he made a point of marking every skin he could reach. He loved putting marks on you, especially when he made sure everyone knew you were his because someone shamelessly hit on you in front of him.

You closed your eyes, white spots appearing all over your vision as your skin tingled. Every nerve, bone, and muscle in your body shook as the surge of white hot liquid violently exited you. "Jake, oh my God!" You moaned loudly, causing it to linger in Jake's ear as he huffed out an exasperated groan. Jake glared at you before grabbing your face and turning you to face him, perspiration running down his skin.

"I am your God,"

It was strange, but the way he said those few words in your face made you clench more around him. His deep, dark eyes locked on you as his grip on your jaw tightened, watching how you reacted to his audacious statement. Jake may never admit it, but your reaction to his every move drives him insane; perhaps that's why he's always so fucking desperate to be inside of you.

Jake smacked his lips against yours once more when he noticed the blood dripping down. "Jake," you winced, attempting to retract your lips, but he refused to budge. "Me estas volviendo loca de mierda." He growled, smirking against your lips before lowering his head back on your neck, now unable to do anything else as he rapidly approaches his own orgasm. When you noticed his thrusts stuttering, his hand on your face darted to the floor beside your head, needing it to steady himself.

You stupidly smiled to yourself as you saw him trying to keep the sounds from coming out of his mouth, so you reached down and began sucking on the heated flesh of his neck, searching for the spot that will cause his hips to stutter even more. Jake gasped once your lips attached to the spot beneath his ear, leaning closer to you as he practically used every energy he had not to moan.....but since you wouldn't stop until you'll hear every sweet noise he can produce, you continued sucking on the already bruised skin.

"Ah—fuck."

Finally, it was the thing you needed to hear. Jake lowered his head to the ground and continued to moan softly in your ear. You tried to find another spot but were completely taken aback when Jake hit a spot that you didn't even know was there before releasing his load inside of you. Your head jerked back, causing a loud thump to echo along with your and Jake's panting breaths. Without a doubt, feeling Jake release inside you was one of the best feelings you could ever have.

Jake gently placed his hands on your thigh and repositioned himself so that his weight was not entirely on top of you. Him moving while still inside you caused you to close your eyes and softly bite on your swollen lip. You tried to steady your breath and calm your racing heartbeat while Jake stayed there, entranced by you despite the fact that you were a complete mess on the ground.

You refused to open your eyes after heaving a sharp breath and placed your sweaty palms on your face, preventing Jake from seeing you. He chuckled, probably thinking you were embarrassed to be in his presence again, but his playful grin faded when you began sobbing quietly.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?" he asked, taking your hands away from your face, his brows knitting in confusion. You tried chewing on your lower lip to muffle your sobs as you slowly opened your eyes to see Jake. "What am I to you, Jake?" your voice broke, tears streaming down your temples once more. You wanted to know if you were his girlfriend for real and not just labeling yourself as such. You wanted to know if he truly desired you.

If he....loves you.

Jake closed his eyes briefly in annoyance, but not at you, but to himself. His jaw twitched, followed by a sharp sigh and a wiping of your hair away from your face. You whimpered at his simple touch, which was simple yet profound. "Stop crying, don't waste your tears," he said, his face blank as he checked your eyes for tears. You just stared at him, frowning, waiting for his response.

When he just stared at you, it felt like your heart had been stabbed a thousand times. Your heartache was becoming unbearable, so you turned away from him, staring outside the window, at the fading rain and not at him.

Jake cursed under his breath and stopped you from turning away even further; he turned to face you again, but your eyes weren't as close as his. "Look at me," he said quietly, but instead of obeying, you completely ignored him. "I said look at me," Jake said again, harder this time, but you didn't seem to hear him. All you could hear was your heart thumping loudly and your chest shrinking, causing tears to well up in your eyes once more.

Jake grumbled in defeat when he realized you weren't going to do as he said when he refused to answer your question. "You're..." He began, still looking at you, hoping that your lovely eyes would soon meet his gaze once more.

"You are something I am not deserving of." 

Even though he said it quietly, you heard him loud and clear, causing your eyes to flicker at his, which are now surprisingly soft. Jake did not resemble Khonshu's cold-blooded avatar; instead, you saw Jake as you see him, as you perceive him to be; a man capable of loving despite his nature.

"I wasn't mad at you because you kept me from finishing the mission, fuck that mission, I was enraged by how you got yourself hurt and how now those bastards know who you are, because..." He paused, struggling to finish, because he was never one to express his feelings. "Because you're my weakness....my strength, and especially... my love, I could never forgive myself if you suffered as a result of my actions, my life, and how I live it."

You were just watching and listening as he poured his heart out in front of you, unaware that you were crying again. Jake caressed your cheek, revealing a softer side of himself that he never shows to anyone. "You know I tried to get away from you, tried to show you who I was so you'd leave me," Jake cleared his throat, trying not to get too emotional.

You ended up holding his hands against your face as you began to smile at his words, feeling your chest relax and your heartbeat slow. "But since you're a stubborn lady..." You both chuckled, reassuring him that you were genuinely listening to him. "You're still here. Still here at our house, and beneath me, which is why I don't deserve you, not even a little bit." Jake finally let go of the tears he was holding back, gently leaning down to place his forehead on top of yours.

"Fuck you're making me cry," he laughed, hoping to change the mood before he bursts into tears on your chest. You laughed as you kissed him on the cheek, "It's okay, it's just me here," you assured lovingly.

Jake took your hand and gently placed a kiss on your palm. "Thank you, for your unconditional love and I'm truly sorry for everything....I'm not sure what you see in me, but I'll change to be like those perfect men," he vowed, cringing slightly at the last words because he finds it cheesy how society labels stereotypically, but he meant it. You smiled sweetly at him before shaking your head. "You don't need to change anything, mi soldado amoroso, I love you for who you are." You brushed his disheveled locks away from his face before arching your brows at him.

"Besides, your own things are what drew me to you in the first place, Jake. No one can ever be like you, and I prefer it that way." You confessed before pulling him in for a soft and slow kiss, ignoring the pain in your lips. You felt a tear fall down your cheek, but it wasn't yours; it was Jake's, who sighed in relief. He drew away to see you again, his nose red, and he looked adorable.

This caused heat to build up inside your chest, your heart fluttering uncontrollably at how quickly you made amends with Jake. Sure, there are still things you need to talk to him about, but that doesn't matter right now because you're too engrossed in the happiness you and Jake are currently experiencing, and this was a first.

Jake's playful smile faded. "I'm not saying this to entice you to stay, don't take it that way..." He explained quietly, fearful that you're only staying because he cried in front of you, which caused your eyes to widen. You shook your head frantically and told him that you were staying because you love him and that you weren't leaving in the first place. If you do decide to leave, you will only do so if Jake orders you to.

Jake nodded, as if the heavy burden in his chest had finally lifted. Because if you did leave, he wouldn't know what to do. He was the one who initiated the conversation in the first place. It drove him insane when he first saw you at a bar he frequents, but at the time he didn't want anyone to get involved in his life, but whenever he takes his eyes off you, or leaves you, it drives him insane even more.

To be honest, Jake's sudden change in demeanor, especially after sex, is quite overwhelming, but you wouldn't have it any other way. He's Jake Lockley, after all, always full of surprises.

You were about to start a conversation about the mission he failed earlier, wanting to talk about it again, but Jake cut you off when he finally said the words that echoed inside your head and you were certain you'd remember it forever.

"Te amo mucho, mi amor."

[aphrostarot]

Confronting Past Life Pick a Pile

What wounds do you carry from a past life and how can you begin to mend your soul?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One (Sodalite):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Queen of Pentacles:

You were a very sensual and loving person in a past life. Over the course of your life, you were an extremely hard worker and accumulated great success. Having enough money enabled you to surround yourself with the things you loved, including nature and animals. The people in your life knew they could count on you to help them when they needed it, especially when it came to financial support.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Three of Pentacles:

In this lifetime you may have been a celebrity, and as a result of your success, you were the subject of jealousy from many people. These people tried spreading lies about the way you earned your success. Since they wanted what you had and saw how humble you were, they hated you for it, so they made up rumors about you as a result. You really tried to spread love rather than hate, especially when it came to these people. You thought you could teach people to be nice and not to be hateful. You tried to achieve this with all your might, but it was not possible, unfortunately.

You may have been an earth sign, Virgo, Taurus, or Capricorn, in your past life or in this life.

You could also have an Aquarius North Node.

How does it affect you in this life?

Five of Pentacles:

You really struggle in this lifetime to accumulate success and wealth. Despite your efforts, you still struggle to make enough money to support yourself and those you love. Success does not come as easily to you in this lifetime.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Strength:

With your current struggles, you also have trouble having the strength to deal with the issues. You are capable of getting through the difficulties you are facing, but you lack the confidence in yourself to do so. This issue of a lack of confidence must be resolved so that you can channel your inner strength to begin accumulating more wealth and success.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Justice:

For some, you may feel you need to cheat the system to get what you desire. The appearance of this card alerts you to the fact that you shouldn't go forward with that. To resolve the issues you are facing, you need to be fair. In addition, you should not second-guess your success. To me, it feels as though all the negativity you couldn't overcome in the past life is affecting you now, making you feel unworthy of success, or incapable of being successful. Do not fall into the trap of not believing in yourself. It is essential that you let go of your fears if you are to overcome these challenges.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

King of Wands:

The lack of confidence prevents you from pursuing your desires, and as a consequence, you lack the drive and passion to do so. The lesson you need to learn is that you need passion and drive to succeed. Your success in your past life was easy and you didn't have to work hard for it, but in this lifetime you must learn to work hard for what you want.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

The Devil:

In your current life, you need to tap into the strong-willed nature you had in your past life. You never let anything bring you down in the past and you struggle to do this in this current life. Your strong-willed nature will help you overcome your struggles of accumulating success and allow you to become confident in yourself.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“You are our answered prayer.”

“Magic exists in the form of energy. What is your energy creating today? How does it make you feel?”

Letters:

R

X

I

E

Q

Blank - whatever you feel fits.

Pile Two (Green Aventurine Moon):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Seven of Wands:

You were very altruistic in this past life. Fighting against oppression. You stood your ground and were an ally to people who needed someone on their side. You were very courageous and determined in your convictions. It seems to me that you took part in many protests. Perhaps you formed groups that fought for people who were being mistreated.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Ten of Wands:

In your past life, you worked very hard to achieve your goal, but it seems like you never succeeded. Your hard work did not pay off in that lifetime. Many of you may have given up when nothing seemed to be happening and your work was ineffective.

How does it affect you in this life?

King of Wands:

There was so much passion in that past life, but all your hard work didn't pay off. Therefore, in this lifetime, you carry that sadness of not achieving what you set your heart on. Since your soul still hasn't healed from your past wounds, you lack the passion to pursue your desires. This wound also leaves you lacking confidence in pursuing your goals.

It's possible that you were a Fire sign in that life or this life, Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Ten of Swords:

This soul wound is causing a great deal of destruction in your life. You lack the confidence and passion to pursue your desires, and this affects all areas of your life, including romance, career, school, and health. It seems that every time you try to follow your dreams, you self-sabotage, and things crumble around you, leaving you wondering why you did that. This is your soul wound that still needs to be healed.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Knight of Wands:

Find your passion and enthusiasm in this life. Seek out activities that bring out your more enthusiastic side. Bring passion back into your life by discovering new things.

Six of Cups:

Additionally, you could try doing things you were passionate about in your past life. Maybe you should join a group that works to combat oppression. Make your voice heard and stand up for what you believe in.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

The Magician:

Willpower is the key to The Magician's success. They set their intentions and then follow through on them. This is your lesson for this lifetime. You need to start setting and achieving goals. Do not give up like you did in the past.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

King of Pentacles:

It is the King of Pentacles who pursues their goals until the very end. They do not worry about losing out on anything, as they are very confident and secure within themselves. This is how you were in the past, and this is what you need to channel in this life in order to heal.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Take charge of your schedule during this busy time and honestly assess your underlying reasons for being busy.”

“Times of heightened emotions and sensitivity call for extra self-care and gentleness.”

Letters:

I

I

A

K

V

E

Pile Three (Rose Quartz):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

The Devil (reversed):

In a past life, you struggled with addictions, and most of your life was devoted to freeing yourself from those addictions. For most of your life, you were becoming self-aware, understanding your purpose and how you can be healthy.

The Moon (reversed):

You felt pretty unhappy in your past life too, feeling very anxious. It was this that pushed you to break free from addictions and fears, along with your negativity.

What is something unresolved from that life?

The World (reversed):

In your pursuit to be free of these things, it seems that you didn't fully succeed. Though you were successful in letting go of those addictions and fears, you still struggled to feel complete and happy. The whole focus of your life seemed to be on becoming healthy, and once you reached your goal, you didn't know what to do with your life. You had no clue what your passions were, and what made you happy.

How does it affect you in this life?

Eight of Pentacles:

The drive and passion you need to excel at your career or hobbies are lacking in this lifetime. You really struggle to maintain a job or hobby long enough to become good at it. Because of your soul wounds, you have difficulty sticking with one thing for a long period of time.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

The Lovers:

You are really struggling to fall in love not only with others and things but also with yourself because of this wound. Due to your fear of commitment, you struggle to maintain one thing in your life, so you don't really know what makes you happy. You don't know how to love yourself. You need to heal from this wound in order to begin to love yourself and others.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Four of Swords:

You need to slow down and rest. Stop jumping from one thing to another. Put an end to not letting yourself get comfortable. It is okay to devote a lot of time and energy to one passion. It doesn't mean you're missing out on life, as long as it makes you happy. You need rest to heal.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

The Empress:

In this lifetime you need to understand that by not staying in place for a long period of time you are running from your growth. Also, what you're running from is your abundant future. If you genuinely want to feel happy and secure in your life, you must learn to stick with one thing and stick with it until the very end. Your life will be filled with abundance if you do this.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

Queen of Pentacles:

The Queen of Pentacles is very loving and warm. Their hard work has made them very successful in life. In your past life, you stuck with your journey of being healthy and free from negativity. You need to channel that hard work and warmth in this lifetime. This is what will help you.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Are you ready? Are you sure? There is no turning back now.”

“Unlock the magick within.”

Letters:

H

E

T

O

E

O

Pile Four (Goldstone Star):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Knight of Swords:

You were very socially adept in your past life. It was your quick wit and charm that really attracted others to you. Your lack of humility was made worse by your inflated sense of self-importance, which also gave you the ability to lead well. Despite your lack of patience, your aggressive side made you successful.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Ten of Wands:

Your life's goal was to be in a position of power because you knew you would be a great leader. However, you never reached your goal. Although you came close to achieving your end goal, you fell short. Some of you may have been in politics.

How does it affect you in this life?

The Hanged Man:

Every time you feel as though you are doing well, it seems as though you have to make some sacrifices to keep that success, and these sacrifices are either too difficult to make or they never work. Therefore, you are unable to achieve success.

Ten of Swords:

It seems impossible for you to achieve success as well as a leadership position in this lifetime. It seems that nothing you do pays off and life constantly throws disaster after disaster your way. It seems that everything comes tumbling down whenever you start feeling good about your situation.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Knight of Cups:

You struggle to remain optimistic in life as a result of all the negative experiences you have had. Romance and charm don't seem like a part of your nature, you don't have the time or energy for them. You have dealt with disaster after disaster and have no energy or desire to be a romantic, optimistic person.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Two of Cups:

Allow yourself to be romanced. You've been running away from this part of yourself for a long time now because you don't want to get your hopes up. You can heal yourself by being romantic with yourself and allowing others to romance you. You need to fall in love and experience true love in order to heal the wounds from your past life.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

Five of Swords:

You have felt defeated almost all of your life in this lifetime and do not understand why you are being treated unfairly. As part of your lessons for this lifetime, you are to feel defeated and let that defeat direct you towards success because you never allowed that to happen in your past life. In the past, you gave up when faced with defeat, but in this lifetime you must persevere.

Ace of Cups:

Because you considered pure love to be beneath you in your previous life, you never experienced it. Your pursuit of success drove you. This life lesson is about learning to love innocently and purely. Do not run away from those emotions, but rather let them wash over you.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

Queen of Swords:

Naturally, the Queen of Swords is a quick thinker and pretty smart. Every situation they encounter is viewed lucidly by them. In the past, you were like this, and this is how you should be now. Your success in this life will be further enhanced if you channel this energy.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Abundance, love, and wealth are coming your way.”

“The worse is now behind you and you are surmounting any previous challenges.”

Letters:

L

E

R

U

N

I

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you! Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

[americanphysco]

for me interview with the vampire where i saw two men closer than friends on the screen. This is why I loved it so much. Growing up in a very oppressive christian-conservative southern home, Interview with the vampire was a taste of escape and freedom, a look into a different world where two men could raise a child, and fight, and love,and be ..them. The grapple between humanity and monstrous nature of being a vampire really spoke to me deeply, as I fought with what I was raised to think and what I felt.

All in all, this is what I love about IWTV, and what I watch over and over for. It gives me a feeling of escape and freedom.

I guess I can understand getting attached to it at a young age but I feel as though the racism and the pedophilic elements are so deeply ingrained in the story itself that you cannot separate them from the narrative. like if you're very young and desperate I could understand (a little bit. not much) overlooking questionable elements because you're blindsided by the need for validation, but I don't see how an adult can revisit the film just as fondly. I'm not saying this to attack you or claim you're a bad person, but I cannot grasp how you can watch something this flawed and not feel gross by the themes present in the film. honestly if you're looking for a queer vampire film to take comfort in that explores tragedy and desperation id recommend the hunger 1983. it has an explicitly wlw relationship and does an excellent job making commentary on vampirism. and david bowie doesn't prey on black women.

and also the part about being faced with one's own monstrosity is interesting, but that theme falls flat for me when you remember that brad pitt plays a wealthy slaveowner. I can't sympathize with a man who has inflicted so much violence on people while alive, and I can't understand why he's suddenly against harming others now that he's a vampire. like I know he never killed his slaves, but isn't imprisoning ppl, forcing labor upon them, and using physical violence as punishment for disobedience a date worse than death? isn't that even less humane? for me at least a film like ginger snaps explores these themes so much better. the entire story is centered around a teenage girl and her struggle with embracing her inner monster and grappling with her moral compass while using lycanthropy as a vehicle to do so. it's much easier to relate to ginger as well because she doesn't end up kissing her adoptive daughter by the end of the film :/

I just don't think I can ever really get why this film resonates with people. like in theory I get how the messages the movie is trying (and failing) to portray would hit close to home, but I really don't know how you can look past the film's racist aspects. like I said before, maybe when you were younger it'd make more sense, but as an adult I feel like you could find better movies to supplement these desires.

wait id also like to add that being young doesn't justify enjoying racist movies. if you're old enough to recognize your own queerness you're old enough to be grossed out by the framing of woc within the film.

[smut4bangtan]

Genie's Home Service (Jimin, One Night Only Anthology)

...GIRL. Once again, I’ve got a new favorite. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 😉

—

The cold breeze seeping in through the slightly open window made you shiver. The more time ticked away, the less your dinner looked appetizing. Still, though, you forced yourself to eat a few spoonfuls. You'd be needing energy later.

For the fifth time in two minutes, you checked your phone. There were two messages: one from your best friend Jian and the other from an unknown number. You clicked on Jian's message first.

[Jian: Sooo excited for you, girl!!! Just go with the flow and don't get too nervous. Trust him. He's a professional. Also, don't hesitate to contact me immediately if anything goes wrong, alright? Good luck and enjoy the night! 👻💦]

[You: Thanks, girl. Will you come home tonight?]

[Jian: No. I'll stay at my boyfriend's. Feel free to use every corner of the apartment except my room! Okay?]

[You: Got it. 😊]

[Jian: You're on your pills, correct?]

[You: Yes ma'am]

[Jian: Okay. Now stop texting and get ready!]

You checked the text from the unknown number next.

[*********: Good evening! This is Genie. I'm already here at the lobby. 😊 Wearing a dark blue shirt.]

Your heartbeat raced upon seeing the message. Even just the mention of his shirt color was already making you feel dizzy.

[You: Hi! I'll come down right away. 😊 Thanks!]

You recognized Genie as soon as you went down to the lobby. He was just sitting at the waiting area, using his phone. Aside from receiving his photos a few days ago, his sharp features and firm built made him naturally stand out from the others; picking him out from the crowd was not hard at all.

You walked towards him with light steps as if you didn't want to wake a wild animal up, but it was no use. Genie looked at you just as you were about to reach him. With a smile, he stood up. He must have recognized you with the photos that Jian sent. "Hey there."

"Genie, right?" You asked. He just nodded.

The two of you proceeded to the receptionist to record Genie's required information on the guest list. He listed his name as Park Jimin.

Is that your real name? You wanted to ask him, but you only mustered up the courage to actually do so when you rode the elevator.

"Is that your real name?" You asked. Genie just looked at you, puzzled. “Park Jimin, I mean. I peeked when you were writing. Sorry.”

Genie just chuckled. “Yeah, that’s my real name. And don’t apologize. That’s our little secret now.” He winked, making you catch your breath.

“Then, that’s what I’ll call you starting now.” You flashed a smile, hoping that it looked natural and definitely not nervous.

“Go ahead as you please.”

The two of you got off at the fourth floor and stopped at unit four hundred and seven. With sweaty hands, you stuck the key in the door knob and pushed it. In a while, I would be like this door knob. Filled in, you thought.

“Can I use the bathroom?” Jimin asked as he placed his black duffel bag on the sofa.

You nodded and pointed on the door beside the kitchen. “There.”

"Thanks!"

“I’ll be waiting in the bedroom with the yellow door.”

“It would be nice if you remove everything except your underwear.” You just looked at him upon hearing what he said. In return, he just smirked at you and proceeded to do his business.

Like what Jimin said, you took off everything except your bra and panty. You suddenly didn't like how your plain white bra looked, so you quickly threw it into the hamper and changed into a black underwire. Anxiety continuously grew upon seeing yourself in the body-sized mirror in front of the bed, but you didn’t think much about it and just trusted his words. He knows what he is doing, you reminded yourself.

You barely sat on the bed when Jimin entered the room. He was now wearing a plain black shirt and khaki shorts that almost looked like swimming trunks. Even though it was dim with only the lamp on, his bulge was clearly visible from where you were. His eyes scrutinized you from head to toe with an expression one would see at a predator looking at his prey. “So, shall we start?”

You just gave him a vulnerable smile and made room for him on the bed. Don't get too nervous, your head repeated in Jian's voice.

Jimin joined you on the bed with a mischievous smile. It was obvious that he's trying to hide his reaction but was incredibly failing. "I noticed that you're a little stiff. Would you mind if I massage you?"

"O-okay."

"Please lie on your stomach."

You did as Jimin said. He placed a bottle of massaging oil on your side table. Upon seeing that, you closed your eyes and let the situation sink in. What was about to happen didn't seem real. It's finally your turn to ride this scary and exciting roller coaster. Everything was unpredictable, and all you could do was enjoy the ride. Once it's finished, boom! You're a part of a whole new world. Nothing's the same again—for your body, at least.

"So, how did you become friends with Jian?" Jimin asked. His oily hands started to run freely through your back.

"University. You?"

"We're childhood friends."

"Oh, you must be very close then."

"We are. Jian's the type of friend anyone would want to have. She's just so accepting and open-minded even about my job."

"Mhmm."

He slowly slipped his hands under the clasp of your bra, making your breath tremble a little. "That's why when she opened up about you, I immediately agreed." You just chuckled, not knowing what to reply. For some reason, your cheeks heated up. It was definitely about what he said. "I heard from Jian that it's going to be your first time."

"Yeah," you replied.

This time, Jimin slipped his hands under the straps of your bra. Your nipples slightly hardened. You kept getting goosebumps every time it scratched against the bra cups

"May I ask why?"

"It's just that I think I've waited long enough. I'm not really confident about showing my body, especially when I was younger."

"Why? You're so beautiful. I was actually astounded a while ago. You look even better than your photos."

Your lips wanted to form a smile, but you stopped yourself. He's one of the best-looking people you have ever seen in your life too, and such a compliment from him means a lot. "Thanks," you just replied with a slight giggle.

Without a word, his hands once again slipped under the hook of your bra. "I can remove my bra if it's getting in the way," you said.

He was silent for a while but eventually replied, "got it."

When Jimin finally unclasped the hook, you pulled it from your chest and threw it on the floor. You were dead sure that he caught a glimpse of your breasts, including your hard, rosy nipples. He moved on to massage the sides of your breasts, as well as your underboob. Now, you felt your nipples reach to its hardest and biggest form. The touch of your sheets against them was slowly making you wet. "Haven't you tried to at least give a blowjob?"

"I have. A lot. But that was the farthest that I could go."

"Mhmm. How about using dating applications to set up one night stands? Why didn't you try?" He asked.

"I don't trust any of those men."

"So you trust me," he confirmed.

"Jian knows you. I trust her with everything."

You felt his nod. "Don't worry. I won't let you down." The two of you let out a giggle in unison with what he said. That was so cute of him, you thought.

"I'll proceed to your legs now." Jimin placed himself on top of you and started to massage your thighs all the way to your calfs. His rock-hard bulge was rubbing on your buttocks, making your stomach and breasts sweat. You felt your vagina release a huge amount of discharge. This made you feel a little nervous. What if he notices?

"You're so wet already, huh?" He teasingly said. Of course he would notice.

"You caught me."

Slowly, Jimin slid your panty off. He then went on to slide his hand from your asshole to your pussy. "Ah," you moaned with your hips slightly rising on its own.

"Can you sit down for me?" Wordlessly, you sat in front of him, legs apart. He took a glance at your bouncy breasts and pinkish pussy. "Beautiful."

You pointed at his shorts. "I want that out."

"Take it off for me, then," he said, kneeling in front of you.

Making sure his underwear was included, you gently pulled his shorts off, revealing his hard cock. It looked so angry and ready to fight. That's how you like it best. "Better," you said.

Jimin took the massaging oil and sprinkled a generous amount on your breasts. His hands ran from your chest to the stomach and pussy, spreading the oil all over your body. You let out a sigh as you tried to conceal the pleasure that was generating all over your body.

"Feels good?" He asked. You just nodded, looking him directly in the eyes.

He came back to your breasts and started to twist and pinch your nipples. You couldn't help but bite your lip and moan. "Fuck," you whispered, looking at the reflection of your breasts and Jimin's cock on the mirror. Your pussy throbbed so hard as it rushed to get more wet.

Jimin suddenly slid a hand down to your pussy and massaged your clit as soon as he touched it. Slowly, he bowed his head down to your breasts and started to lick your nipples.

"Just like that," you said, grabbing him by the thigh. "Oh, fuck. Please."

He gradually played faster with your clit, making your hips rise on its own and your discharge slowly drip from your pussy. "Yes, faster! Faster!" You yelled. In no time, his mouth was already sucking your breasts and he finally slid his middle finger inside you. "Mmm, yes, yes, yes!"

You stretched your vulva out as he slid his ring finger next. It hurt you for a short while, but it felt good as soon as he rocked his hand.

"Do you like that? Huh?" He asked, almost whispering under his breath.

"Mhmm," you replied, rocking your hips against his hand.

Jimin lifted his head to kiss you. Your tongues fought and your lips sucked each other. You could hear your discharge making a sound as he fingered you fast and deep.

"Oh, I think I'm going to squirt!" Before either of you could do anything about it, you already did. He slapped your pussy as your vagina uncontrollably let out everything you could. The squirting reached the lower part of the mirror.

Without a word, you took Jimin's cock and licked the head as you looked him in the eyes. Slowly, you stuck it in your mouth and sucked it like a lollipop. You made sure your tongue was on it, too. "Ah," he let out with his eyes closed. "You're good." He finally removed his shirt, revealing nothing but his bare body.

He placed his hand on your head and pushed it deeper. You then held his hips and pulled him closer. His cock has finally reached your throat. He slowly pulled your hair, making his juices flow down from your mouth.

Ultimately, he held your head and started to thrust in and out of your mouth. You sat there helplessly, getting facefucked. His cock was secreting so much discharge that you could already could swallow a great portion. "Fuck! I'm gonna cum!" He exclaimed, suddenly pulling himself out of your mouth. Discharge and saliva flowed out of your mouth once again. It looked like it could fill up a small perfume bottle.

You lathered your finger on the liquid and tasted it again. "Sweet."

"Pineapples, baby."

Jimin pushed you gently to the pillows and went right in front of you. As he was slowly inserting his cock inside your pussy, you stretched out your vulva once again. "This might hurt, but I'll be gentle."

"It's okay. You got me."

He finally inserted the head, and then the body—slowly. It started to feel a little sore, but you did your best to keep it in. He rocked his hips a little more, until his whole cock was already inside. The pain tinged a little greater than before, but it's manageable. "Does it hurt?"

"It's alright. Fuck me," you replied.

As Jimin started to push and pull himself in you, he played with your nipples to lessen the pain. The head of his cock could be felt sliding inside. It felt so good that it might be your new favorite feeling. When your vagina seemed to have adjusted well, he gradually improved the pace.

Jimin pulled you closer and sucked your breasts. You started to massage your clit, matching his phase. Your eyes rolled up in pleasure. "Ah!" you moaned every time he pushed himself inside you.

Suddenly, his cock slid out of your vagina. "Shit," he said, wiping the sweat on his temples with his palms.

You crawled on the other side of the bed and bent over, showing your vagina and asshole to him. "I've always wanted to try getting fucked doggystyle."

With a naughty expression, he slid his cock into you and rock his body hard against you. "My favorite position," he said.

You could feel his cock better with this position and for some reason, it felt more pleasurable. He was hitting the right spot every time he pushed his cock into you. "Deeper, faster," you commanded, so he did as you said with a slap on your butt cheek. "Ah, fuck. Yes!"

"Oh, I'm gonna cum," he said, suddenly pulling himself out. You immediately turned around and saw him masturbate. It was the hottest thing you've ever seen.

You leaned in and put your face in front of his cock. Just in time, his fresh, hot cum splattered all over your face.

He leaned on the headboard, panting hard. His legs were spread out, exposing his smooth asshole. "It's still hard. Do you wanna?"

You nodded. "I think I can squirt again." You sat on his cock, your back facing him. "Shit," you whispered as he filled you up again.

You bounced on top of him as you played with your nipples. You could see him watching you on the mirror with a smirk. Upon seeing that, you spread your legs wide so the two of you could see everything.

Jimin hugged you from behind and billowed his body against you. His hard cock was widening your vagina in the most pleasurable way. Meanwhile, his hand made its way to your clit. You pulled his head closer and kissed him on the lips. "Oh, God. Harder," you commanded in between the kiss. The two of you increased your pace.

Finally, you could feel that your pussy was almost full. "I'm cumming!" A big squirt came out of you as soon as you said that. "Ah!" You yelled, your hips shaking.

"Yes, yes," Jimin seconded as he slapped his cock on your vagina.

Your body dropped on top of him when you finally let everything out. Your back could feel his heart beat.

"You're so perfect," he whispered on your ear in between his panting.

"And so are you."

[fleckcmscott]

To Have and To Hold

Summary: Y/N makes an oversight at work. The resulting extra hours with Arthur delight them both.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut

Words: 4,272

A/N: This story had been kicking around in my head for about two months, but I hadn’t been sure if I was going to write it. Then I read @sweet-nothings04‘s amazing Hand-in-Hand (which you all need to check out, if you haven’t), and knew I had to put it on paper. Thanks to her for the inspiration to finally develop this, and for the title, too!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open! 

Perhaps it was the sunshine that stirred her. Or the horns of traffic on congested streets. The hammering of a distant construction site. The chatter and occasional yelling of passersby.  The hum of Gotham awakening.

Y/N blinked in confusion - how could it be so bright this early? - and squinted at the clock at Arthur's side of the bed. No numbers greeted her, just its blank, plastic display. Stretching, she reached to her left for her watch, in its spot by the beige rotary phone on the nightstand.

"Shit!"

Nearly knocking over her glass of water, she clambered off the mattress. Arthur had warned her the lights could go off in his apartment. Not often and not for long. But enough to annoy. Naturally, his building's shoddy electricity had to mess with the alarm today. When she'd stayed up too late. When he'd had to leave ahead of her to commute to the other end of the city for a rare winter gig. When her body had chosen to oversleep in the coziness of his blankets.

Her nylons had never been yanked on with such haste. Arthur had made coffee but she skipped it in favor of brushing her teeth. Pausing on her way out, she took a calcium supplement and grabbed a note from the counter. She read it while riding the wood-paneled, graffiti covered elevator: "Your presentashin will be great. You snored a lot. Good thing your cute. - Arthur." He always signed his name. As though she wouldn't recognize his scrawl. As if anyone else wrote her sweet, sassy missives. She grinned until she hopped on the for-once punctual subway.

The presentation he'd referred to was set for that afternoon. She was expected to discuss the evidence and court file for this week's contested hearing. Last night, she'd sat at Arthur's breakfast bar to compile the case's final details and finish prep sheets. Gently, she'd rebuffed his subtle advances. His attempts to draw her attention from work to him.

Excitement had been palpable as he'd hovered near her. She was fairly certain she knew the cause because it enthused her as well. In three and a half short weeks, he'd be moving in with her. They'd officially begin traversing whatever the future held for them together. Hesitation had been clear in his posture, his drawn shoulders when (after plenty of convincing on her part that yes, she really, really, wanted him) he'd finally accepted the key to her place. But since he'd added it to his own keyring, he'd brightened. Strode a little taller. Walked a little prouder. Touched a little bolder. As though the weight he carried had lessened, at least by a couple cinder blocks' worth.

At his slight pout, she'd decided to find a way to involve him. He'd perched on the stool next to her, rested his cigarette in the pink ashtray to the left, and taken the proffered exhibit stickers with a quirked brow. Y/N had handed him papers, which he'd added labels to for her to write on. Then she'd stacked them in four different piles according to type. It had taken longer than usual - she was faster alone. But the intimacy of sharing the professional elements of her life with Arthur (besides the office wear he liked, claiming it showed how "smart" and "pretty" she was) had tightened her chest. And the curved-up corner of his thin lips had reflected how pleased he was, too.

They hadn't been able to collaborate on everything, however. It was past midnight by the time she'd joined Arthur, who had retreated to the bedroom an hour or so earlier. He'd been sitting against the headboard, half under the cover. The harsh blue light emanating from the old black and white TV at the foot of the bed had sharpened his features. Deepened the set of his eyes. He'd stubbed out his smoke as she closed the door. "I taped The Honeymoon Game. We can watch it when you're here again." A beat. "If you're not busy."

"This is supposed to be my last big project for a month or so." Sighing, she'd gotten her nightgown from her overnight bag. "I didn't mean for it to take all evening." She climbed in next to him and threw her arm across his lap. "I'm sorry."

He'd been stiff. Unyielding. The telltale signs he was miffed or upset. But he'd twined her hair around his finger, let his touch fall to her brow bone. "It's okay," he'd said lowly, adjusting to lie alongside her. "I don't want to be... I'm not being fair."

"You don't have to pretend with me, Arthur. It's all right to be annoyed." Tiredness had pulled at her as she'd fought to watch the rest of Gotham Tomorrow Tonight. The contact of his socked toes to her bare ones had made her smile, though, and she'd nuzzled his bicep. "I missed you," she'd mumbled, then promptly passed out.

The squeal of wheels on metal tracks prompted her to sling her canvas tote onto her shoulder. Shaw & Associates was a short sprint from the nearest station. She was certain she looked ridiculous, running down the street in her high heels. But she managed to slip into the office with two minutes to spare. Once she poured herself a cup of joe and straightened her blazer, she settled in her cushioned chair to get started.

It was only when Matt told her he wanted to meet before lunch that she'd rummaged in her bag. And realized she'd neglected to bring the file. Recalled it was sitting on Arthur's kitchen counter.

Fuck.

Her nails tapped the wood surface of her desk. Excusing herself to the bathroom so she could go retrieve it wouldn't fly. Matt would send a search party. She could try to discuss everything from memory, tell him documents were still being gathered. But he wasn't that oblivious. She settled on owning her error. "It's at home." Her delivery was nonchalant.

He waited until she'd loaded her typewriter with paper, then responded wryly. "You're not supposed to take files home anymore. Remember what happened last time?"

She leaned back as he stepped in front of her. "There was the slew of family cases that came in. With Patricia on leave, I'm handling all our calls and mail. Not to mention paperwork on her filings. It wouldn't have gotten finished if I hadn't taken it." Snorting, she shook her head at herself. Heat bloomed in her neck. "Not that it matters when I don't have it."

Expression softening, Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and jutted his chin at her. "How long did you work on it?"

It was hard to discern if he actually cared about the hours she put in. Or if he merely wanted to gauge the possibility of her doing investigations off the books again, something he'd explicitly prohibited. "I don't know." She waved dismissively. "Three or four hours?"

He let out a huff. "You put in enough time already. Go home at noon. We'll get to it first thing tomorrow."

"I have a lot to do." Her eyes widened at the myriad piles of folders laying around. "And I can't imagine you playing operator."

"I've managed when you've both been in court or at appointments. Besides," he continued as he headed back to his office. "You never take days off."

Straightening, she wheeled her chair to watch him plop down on his leather seat. "I'm taking three days next month," she countered.

His glare contained an unequal mix of mirth and consternation. "Y/N?"

The phone started ringing. She succeeded in making one ear ignore it. "Yes?"

"I know you haven't forgiven me for that whole Renew Corp. thing." She flinched at the casual mention of the company she loathed. Of her failure. But she forced herself to listen. Matt picked up a pen and started writing. “Rather than being stubborn, try saying, 'You're right.'"

~~~~~

Y/N stood in front of the narrow, white stove, stirring the soup she'd thrown together using bouillon, carrots, onions, and pasta. Ingredients she'd found in Arthur's kitchen. Music poured, at a respectable volume, from the radio on the windowsill. Swaying out-of-time, she added a sprinkling of black pepper, one of the only three spices he had (along with powdered garlic and salt). Wearing a content smirk, she sampled the steaming broth.

When she'd left the office, she'd been frustrated at herself. Yes, she was human. Everyone made mistakes. But she wasn't the forgetful type. Particularly if someone was depending on her. However, as she'd stopped in Burnley for another change of clothes, hopped on the train to Otisburg, and pictured Arthur's reaction to finding her in his home instead of having to call to wish her sweet dreams, her disposition had improved. Not only would he have her for an extra night. He'd get a late lunch, too.

The click of the deadbolt and clank of his keys on the entrance table came the second she turned off the stove. She listened to his heavy exhale as his bag dropped to the floor and shut the door. In her peripheral vision he froze, then approached tentatively. She reveled in his delicate hold on the dip of her waist, the peck he planted on her cheek. The smell of greasepaint wafted to her nose. "I hoped I hadn't made this up," he sighed with what sounded like relief. "But your meeting."

She angled herself towards him, gaze roving over his red and blue plaid blazer. The painted-on smile. His irresistible brown curls, mostly flattened by the wig he'd worn. Fidgeting with the petals of the squirting flower on his lapel, she scrunched up her face. "This morning went to shit." She explained the power outage, the clock, her own stupidity at leaving the file in his apartment. "I've packed it. Don't worry."

His posture grew pensive. "Sorry. Maybe- Maybe we should have stayed at your place. Your building's better."

Him thinking her error was somehow his fault had to be nipped in the bud. "No," she said. "You asked to make more memories here before we move in together. I'm happy to do that."

He paused, long enough she could have sworn she'd heard the gears in his head grinding. "Are you in trouble?"

Not unexpectedly, he had put together her mistake and her early dismissal from work and assumed the worst. "If I wasn't fired for trying to stop the Waynes, it's going to take more than an oversight to get me thrown out on my ass." Her brow furrowed. She sneaked a hand under his jacket and placed her palm on his chest. "I just hate that I wasted last night for nothing."

Soft lips, slightly sticky with red paint, grazed her temple. "It's okay," he said. "You're here now. And I got to help you."

The balm of his kindness loosened her rigid stance. His zeal to assist her, to ask questions, to learn about every aspect of her branded her heart completely. She leaned into him, kissed the squishy fold of skin under his chin, and nudged his ribs. "Food's ready. Go change. I want to hear all about your day."

Arthur emerged from the bathroom within minutes, clad in his worn, blue house pants and toweling his hair. Dimples were on constant display while they ate. The glint in his eyes was the one he usually had if his act or a job had gone particularly well, if he was pleased with himself. Was the one starting to be an almost weekly occurrence. Was the one that made his green eyes sparkle and caused her stomach to flip. He inched closer to her with every sentence.

The kids at the new children’s medical center had liked Carnival, he said. They hadn’t minded that he’d "filled in" for Gary. The magic tricks had all gone without a hitch, and the clinic had provided the balloons, which was a savings. The nurses and doctors had been nice; they’d even asked for his card. He’d had to provide a slip of paper with his address and telephone number instead. But he was sure he’d be invited to perform again. And he asked Y/N for help writing Gary a thank you note for the referral, claiming, “You’re better at that than me.”

“You’re the one who journals every day.” Her bowl and spoon clattered in the sink. “And your letter to me was beautiful. Just let me proofread it.”

Soon they were reclined on the sofa, sharing the flat pillow he’d used when he’d had no choice but to sleep there. The tape he’d recorded yesterday was playing. The Honeymoon Game had been a casual watch before, he’d explained. Not a nightly ritual like Murray. Given that he had a girlfriend and was a boyfriend himself, it had become fun to view.

She was only half-focused on the TV’s talking heads. Her mind was drifting to moving day, which filled her with gladness. She examined the plaid walls, the white cream color ceiling, the knick-knacks strewn about in the glow of the setting sun. The lantern with an owl hanging in the corner; the green, plastic drawers by the television; the curio cabinet... They were all a part of 8J, but assuredly not a part of him. How much would he be bringing with him, she wondered. And what would he be leaving behind?

“With one sugar and a shot of milk.” Arthur’s lively voice broke through her contemplation. Ah. He was reacting to the questions posed to the contestants, and making the answers about her, as he was wont to do.

She nestled back into the pleasant warmth of his firm frame. “Three sugars,” she replied, confirming she knew how he took his coffee. They continued to play along, with him showing off everything he’d memorized about her, and her replying with what she’d gathered about him.

Eventually, he shifted behind her. Raised himself on his elbow. “How did you know you loved me?”

Her hum was soft. Short. Possible responses were multitude. She’d suspected she could fall for him early on. When he’d wanted to repay her for doing what anyone should have done on the subway. And the first time he’d had the courage to call her after they’d split a slice of pie, his slight stammer revealing his nervousness. Maybe she’d say it was how slowly he’d drunken his wine during dinner, initially squinting as he sipped, his inexperience with alcohol obvious.

But she chose to go with what she believed was truest. What she assumed he’d hear most keenly. “Before we slept together, I hadn’t been with anyone for four years. And even then, it was different.” His hand splayed on her abdomen, thumb dragging along the waistband of her green leggings. A delightful ache flared in her center. “When I woke up, I felt perfect.”

“You felt like you were perfect?”

“No, silly,” she laughed, batting his forearm. “I knew I hadn't made a mistake. I reached out to your side, first thing - I’d thought of it that way, even then.” At the sensation of his hardening shaft against her rear, she giggled. “You’d made me so happy. You always do. I wanted to you to bed me again.”

The round tip of his nose skimmed her cheek, and she shivered at the dip of his fingers into her panties. “I want to again,” he rasped, paraphrasing her. The grind of his length was making her light-headed, and she twisted her torso to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about it.” Cheekbones glowing, he averted his eyes. “Ever since I woke up.”

“My monthly started,” she said regretfully. His descent halted, and a groan of frustration left him as he lowered his forehead to her shoulder. She mused. While he was becoming more apt to say what he desired, it happened rarely. But she loved it and didn’t want to discourage him from letting himself be assertive. Would he be offended by her suggestion? “I freshened up before we laid down. I have a tampon in. There are other things we can do.” She pressed her lips together, hoping she didn’t sound presumptuous. “If you’re comforta-“

“I’m comfortable.” His mouth quickly claimed hers, opening on a sigh. The tip of his tongue laved at the seam of her lips, and his messy enthusiasm made her whimper. Leaving a scorching trail in its wake, his hand traversed to her upper leg, gliding over the crease where her thigh and vulva met.

Shallow breaths caressed the nape of her neck, stoking the heat threatening to consume her. But the studio audience blaring from the television’s mono-speaker kept wresting her out of her haze. She snatched the VCR remote from the coffee table and hit the pause button.

The tease of his fingertips at her dark curls caused the peaks of her breasts to stiffen. She gasped as the rough fabric of her sweater dragged along them. His fore- and ring fingers spread her outer lips and she shuddered. The leisureliness of his fondling didn’t detract from its intoxicating effect.

Though it was a tad rough. “You’re kinda dry. Hold on.” Swiftly, he brought his hand to his mouth and wet his fingertips. Y/N blinked at him. It was clear he thought nothing of it, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering he’d confided he liked going down on her. Still. Seeing this normally reserved man improvise so he could pleasure her made her center throb with need.

Y/N was doing her damnedest to get her leggings and underwear down. Arthur snorted at her spirited, failed attempt at kicking them away. “It’s okay,” he chuckled, pushing them off her ankles with his foot. Then his touch fluttered at her swollen folds. She arched into him, already feeling as though she would burst. Bent at the knee, her leg lifted until her foot was flat on the couch cushion, allowing him easier access. He took advantage, sweeping forward and back along the rigid line of her engorged clitoral hood. She rolled towards him subtly, her moans getting louder with each tap to her sensitive nub.

Still holding himself up, he cradled her head. "Your sounds make me crazy," he said lowly. Once his hips started following hers, faintly rutting against the flesh of her backside, she closed her eyes. Hurriedly, she reached behind her to yank at his pajamas. "What?" he asked.

"I want to feel you," she whispered. There was a huff and some fumbling. And moments later his cock was settled at the cleft of her bottom. She bit her lip, savoring the weight of him. God, he felt wonderful.

His fingertips whispered over her clit, daring to follow the edge of her inner labia. She heard him gulp. "How does it feel when we're together? When- When I'm in you?"

"Warm. Full. Like you belong there," she replied with a smile. That last part of her response must have been unexpected, given that his grazes ceased and he trembled. "Don't stop," she whined, placing her hand on his. "Please, Arthur. You know just how to touch me."

Groaning, he started anew, deftly swiping quicker and quicker. The undulations of her pelvis hastened unevenly, begging both for release and for their coupling to last forever. She ran her palm up her torso, kneading her breast and plucking at her nipple. He nuzzled at her ear, grunting low in the back of his throat. Winding her fingers into his loose waves, she tugged lightly. Her belly twitched. Her whole frame tingled.

His skillful touch. The love they had for one another. The noises he was making in the crook of her shoulder. They all combined to throw her over the edge, and a wave of pleasure crashed through her. She cried his name brokenly, feeling empty without him inside her. But he kept holding her, guiding her through the crests of her climax. She was gasping, struggling to suck in air. Surely, she thought, he could detect the thundering of her heart against her ribs.

Gradually, the quivering grip she had on his locks eased. The kisses he planted on her neck were open-mouthed, desperate. And he hadn't halted the ardent movements of his hips. Y/N turned onto her other side. Gazing at him, she raked his curls out of his face, caressed his cheekbone with her knuckles. His look was hungry, darkened with need. The creases between his brows deepened as her hand trailed through the sparse dusting of hair on his chest.

There was a youthful charm to this situation, she considered. To them craving each other but not completely joining. It reminded her of being a teenager. When she'd been curious and horny, but nervous and not quite ready to go "all the way" with her ex. Being with Arthur allowed her to do all that again. To relive those experiences, to explore and make discoveries with him. To fall further in love with him daily.

She tenderly pecked the freckles at the top of his sternum, nestled against the notch above his clavicle. "I'm lucky to have you."

He didn't miss a beat, even as she trailed past the ticklish spots on his flank. "I'm luckier."

"I disagree." She outlined the slender muscles of his stomach, the v-lines leading to his cock. Played with the springy, brown curls at the base of him. "Without you, I'd only have my work. Which was enough before. But not now." After a moment, she concluded she was being sappy. She had to change it up. "And I wouldn't be having the best sex of my life."

Clearly flustered, he muffled his laugh. "Really?" His blush was prominent, his grin ecstatic.

"Really." Groans short and sudden, he rocked into her touch when she encircled his ample girth. Her fingers danced along his shaft, marveling at the contrast of his velvety skin with how hard he was. Pumping up and down, she tugged at him, trying to match the speed of his thrusts. He nudged his nose to hers, gazing at her before his hooded eyes flitted to watch what she was doing. Then she looked, too.

The sight of him fucking into her hand made her dizzy with want, even though he'd just gotten her off. The crimson, swollen head glistened, slick beading generously at the tip. Y/N licked her lips and spread it around him with the pad of her thumb. Moaning sharply, he bucked harder. Her motions quickened, flicking repeatedly at the notch on the underside.

Demand was implicit in the grasp he had on her upper arm. And it strengthened as his hips' stuttered, becoming unpredictable. Ragged pants hit her face. "I'm- I'm gonna make a mess.”

"It's all right," she soothed. Keeping ahold of him, she lay on her back. He followed and settled on top of her. Whimpering her name, he rubbed himself against her labia. But she gently pushed him onto his knees and continued palming him, her fingers teasing the ridge on his erection. It wouldn't take long to make him come. She could see it in the clench of his jaw, the tightening cords in his neck, his abrupt, needy cries...

Plunging forward, he held himself in place, grunting, clutching her urgently. His release hit her abdomen, warm and wet, and she gasped, her body curving up towards him. The feel of him spilling onto her couldn't completely distract her, though. Not from the beauty of his parted lips. Not from the relief that gradually spread across his features. Not from the slackening of his muscles as tension ebbed.

Sweat had gathered on his forehead. A droplet ran from the end of a dark brow to his jawline. Then he kissed her, his mouth groping at hers. "I love you," he said. He gave her one last peck and sat up on his knees. Holding onto the arm of the sofa, he retrieved her underwear from the floor and wiped her belly off. "That was fun." He tucked his chin bashfully.

"I concur." She entwined their hands and sat, then stretched as she pushed herself to stand and walk to the bathroom. The washcloth he'd designated as hers hung on the hook by the towels. She cleaned herself, listening as Arthur started the show again.

A new round of questions was just beginning. "When you and your spouse first met," the host started, "what was your first impression?"

Arthur's answer was instant. "Nice."

Y/N said the first thing that came to mind. "Handsome."

She popped her head out of the room to find him leaning on the entrance of the short corridor, beaming at her with hitched giggles. He was probably waiting for his turn to clean up. Like he normally did. But she couldn't stop herself from staring at him. Loving eyes met hers and his brows lifted expectantly. "Yes?"

Smiling, she wrung out the washcloth and put it back in its place. She stepped to him with a smile and smoothed his hair back. The rush of happiness in her soul, one she wasn't even sure she had, enamored her. Not only at what they'd shared on his old, scratchy sofa. But at Arthur being Arthur. At knowing soon she'd get to sleep next to him every night. Build a life with him, one she hadn't dreamed of even six months ago. Nothing she could say seemed adequate. So she went with a kind gesture, one she knew he'd appreciate. "I'll make us some decaf. And I love you, too."

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​ @howdylilflower​ @sweet-nothings04​ @stephieraptorr​ @rommies​ @fallenstarsabyss​ @gruffle1​ @octopus-plasma​ @tsukiakarinobara​ @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​ @hhandley80​ @jokerownsmysoul​ @mrscarnival

[crownedcroweprince]

((I really like the first one so uh can I ask for another? If you don't mind, I would like a 💕 with my Narcisse Valtin and my friend's Cateline Lothaire. Thanks it's awesome)

Una’to smiles half heartedly, and gestures for the other to sit before him, as he picks up his deck of cards. “Not very often one gets to do love related readings. I should be... interesting at the least.”

He begins to shuffle the black and gold deck, eyes half lidded as he concentrates on the question. A look of satisfaction crosses his face, and he places seven cards between himself and the man. Three in the center, with two on either side. He flips them as he places them, and one all out, he studies them quietly for a moment, face resting in his hand as he taps his cheek. “How interesting a message all from cups overflowing with emotional messages, and swords with sharp with and intellect often enough. One lone wand to guide a way with flames and passion...”

His hand moves to his left, and taps the top most card of the two on that side, closest to the man seeking guidance. “These are your wants... It seems that you are wanting something related to a loss, grief, or disappointment. That is the message of this card, though three cups have let slip their contents, two remain, bearing a message, a wish to salvage what has been loss. I would think, that you are seeking in this relationship, something salvageable from what you have lost in the past.”

Eyes slide to the his right side, again with the top most card. As if mirroring and sewing a thread over the middle cards into the cloth they lay upon. He taps the card humming slightly, “This is what the other person whom you are getting this reading for as your partner wishes for. It is a card of happiness, fulfillment, and celebration. The fulfillment of which it speaks is one of emotional sorts, and a happiness grown from the unity with the world around them. Harmony. Joy. These things are found from their relations to others, family, of their choosing or otherwise, and friends. They wish for community and they joys it brings while in a relationship. In someways, perhaps you are both after the same thing, you to salvage such pieces, and them to bring that which will put it back together”, he says, snickering slightly. Clearly a cynic of a man in some way.

His gaze returns to his left again, but down this time, and he taps the card. “Here in lie your differences. What aspects of life you disagree on. Mind you, it’s not a sign of incompatibility, but an area from which both of you grow. After all, it would be boring to be exactly the same wouldn’t it?” he says, purring out the last bit slightly. “Regardless, in this place is a card that represents resilience, pushing forward, and the last stretch of something towards a goal. Perhaps your end goals may differ, or your abilities to stand the storms which you face. To me it seems, one of you may be stronger than the other, and thus one must learn to grow to protect the other who generally takes on the burdens. Work has to be done to meet these end goals you both may have.”

Shifting to the right once more, the lower card. He doesn’t bother tapping it this time, his needle work with fate becoming more and more clear. “Now we see those swords. They are reversed here, in the place that represents your similarities. These are aspects in which you are the same. In life. It’s also the representation of what you both intuitively know and understand about one another. There are shared feelings of lingering resentment towards someone or something. A desire to reconcile, and a desire to forgive. There is a message of a war you’ve both been burdened with, perhaps literally in some ways? Regardless, both sides fought ruthlessly, and end is waited upon in the exhaustion it has left both parties in. Mind you, I don’t know if you’ve both fought the same force, or each other. There is only so much I can gleam from strangers”, his smile soften slightly, but there’s some mischievous nature to his eyes as he moves forward with the reading.

His hand goes to the middle row of cards, tapping the card closest to the man before him, before returning to his person. “That is the emotional compatibility the two of you have. How the relationship works on an emotional level, and you you make each other feel. This is a card of action, speed, and ambition. It seems that you may lift each other up to take actions that you would otherwise be too meek to do. However there is a warning. There is much energy here between you two, and though it may get you close to your ambitions, you may be unconscious about consequences and obstacles in your way. Do mind them, those things ignored often grow, fester, and rot leading to a swift death of things when not addressed. Ignoring issues is the killer of relationships after all. Shame the guards can’t catch him”, he says, snickering once more. Pleased with his antics.

“Below that card is the place of physical compatibility. If there is or isn’t physical attraction there, and how the relationship works on a physical level. There is a message here of it being hasty, rushed, and all talk. That’s rather harsh. The energy between you two seems to maybe have become an annoyance of sorts. Lost in the excitement of creating something, a relationship I hope, it’s lead to poor planning and setbacks. Promises to one another may have been disappointing, rather than fulfilling, and that disappointment is setting in around you. Again, rather harsh.”

Finally, his eyes land on the last card in the spread, he picks it up and holds it before his mouth. Just enough so to show a small smirk. “The last card is how your compatible mentally. How your relations work on a mental level, and how your values and ideals line up. It is a card of recovery, forgiveness, and moving on. It seems you may both me moving on from something unpleasant, and looking for forgiveness in each other. Pain and suffering has followed you both through your lives, and you are both trying to cultivate hope and look towards a better future. Though wrongs by others have plagued you, you both choose to forgive and continue on with your lives.”

He returns the card to the deck, collapsing the rest of the spread into it as well before meeting the others gaze. “I do hope you were able to get some insight into yourself and the person you wished to measure your bonds with. Correct the frays in that red string that binds you together, and I think things should be fine. Just don’t leap head long into things and ignore what may be problematic for you in the future. Lest you cut the chords between you both.”

((Thank you @moonstruck-ffxiv for allowing me to do another reading for you. Sorry for the wait, this one is a little longer than most and I was hoping to do it some justice! It may also be a little wordy and long. It’s like that at times))

Cards Drawn: Five of Cups, Ten of Cups, Nine of Wands, Five of Swords reversed, Knight of Swords, Page of Swords Reversed, Three of Swords Reversed.

[Tarot Spread Ask Here]

[fapangel]

One of the essential elements of Communism - as can be readily seen in leftist rhetoric here in the US, even - is that they are right. Period end, full stop. They stand for Justice For the Oppressed, so anyone who opposes them is categorically evil. III So where do you put conservatism/right/alt-right then? Because I don't feel like"we're not 100% correct, the other guy might have a point" bipartisanship hasn't really been your message this whole time.

That’s because there’s no “bipartisanship” at play, but tripartisanship these days.When I say leftist, I mean something very, very different than liberal. 

A liberal is someone who innately believes in the American credo, as described by the Declaration of Independence and enumerated in the Constitution and Bill of Rights. These are the people who fought for Civil Rights in the 60s, the people who put an end to the horrendous working conditions in factories in the 30s; the muckrakers, the original Progressives. The people you learned so much about in your American History course. They argue for higher taxes, more social programs, stricter gun control - but in the end they only differ from conservatives on nuts and bolts issues; about the best way to realize our goals as a society and nation - not what those goals should be. During the Civil War, soldiers from both armies would trade with each other in no-mans-land between the lines, and then fight brutally and to the death the next morning for their cause. When Union soldiers started celebrating wildly after the Confederate surrender, General Grant ordered them to stop rejoicing at their downfall, because “the rebels are our countrymen again.” And there was absolutely bitterness and hate deep and profound enough that it lingers to this day, but he was right, in the end - they were our countrymen again and would feast with us, starve with us, and bleed in the trenches with us forever after - we were still all Americans, and fundamentally, in our hearts, we agreed on the same things - the principles of western liberal democracy. 

A leftist is something entirely different - the adherents of a completely different ideology that first began with Rousseau, erupted with the sordid violence and mayhem of the French Revolution and would finally find its most enduring elucidation in the form of Marxist ideology. There is no common root whatsoever between this ideology and the fundamental principles of western liberalism. This is the ideology that deposed and beheaded Louis XVI, that overthrew the Romanov Czars and murdered them, that took and starved China under Mao, that swept Vietnam, North Korea and Cuba. As evidenced by its roots, it’s an ideology based on and around the concept of violent revolution to overthrow capitalism. Whereas western liberalism’s political theory is primarily concerned with exploring the legitimacy of rulership - who rules, to what ends, and by what right - Marxist ideology has always, from the moment of its inception, been a reaction and denouncement of existing capitalist systems. Consider: Plato’s arguments in The Republic center around a theoretical polis, a “city on a hill,” which he uses to explore the nature of man as relates to the kind of government that could best rule them. John Stewart Mill’s On Liberty opens as such:  

The subject of this Essay is not the so-called Liberty of the Will, so unfortunately opposed to the misnamed doctrine of Philosophical Necessity; but Civil, or Social Liberty: the nature and limits of the power which can be legitimately exercised by society over the individual.

In the work from which all leftism traces its roots, The Social Contract, Rousseau (after brief introduction) declares his subject with lines that have become famous:

MAN is born free; and everywhere he is in chains. One thinks himself the master of others, and still remains a greater slave than they. How did this change come about? I do not know. What can make it legitimate? That question I think I can answer.

Two years before writing that, Rousseau wrote an essay titled Discourse on the Arts and Sciences, in which he argued that man is naturally good, and the social institutions of science and art were social institutions that made man wicked. In his own words: 

So long as government and law provide for the security and well-being of men in their common life,the arts, literature and the sciences, less despotic though perhaps more powerful, fling garlands offlowers over the chains which weigh them down. They stifle in men’s breasts that sense of originalliberty, for which they seem to have been born; cause them to love their own slavery, and so makeof them what is called a civilised people....   

Before art had moulded our behaviour, and taught our passions to speak an artificial language, ourmorals were rude but natural; and the different ways in which we behaved proclaimed at the firstglance the difference of our dispositions....

We no longer dare seem what we really are, but lie under a perpetual restraint; in the meantime theherd of men, which we call society, all act under the same circumstances exactly alike, unless veryparticular and powerful motives prevent them....

Such is the purity to which our morals have attained; this is the virtue we have made our own. Letthe arts and sciences claim the share they have had in this salutary work...

This is where the leftist obsession with studying society and its “constructs” as a system of oppression began. The left is still making these arguments today. He also attacked playwright and poets as degenerate and obscene, and blamed them for the fall of Rome: 

It was not till the days of Ennius and Terence that Rome, founded by a shepherd, and madeillustrious by peasants, began to degenerate. But after the appearance of an Ovid, a Catullus, aMartial, and the rest of those numerous obscene authors, whose very names are enough to putmodesty to the blush, Rome, once the shrine of virtue, became the theatre of vice, a scorn amongthe nations, and an object of derision even to barbarians. Thus the capital of the world at lengthsubmitted to the yoke of slavery it had imposed on others, and the very day of its fall was the eve ofthat on which it conferred on one of its citizens the title of Arbiter of Good Taste.

He’d be right at home on Feminist Frequency if he were alive today, calling out all that problematic media. 

The classical western liberals were concerned with exploring theoretical truth, whereas Rousseau and all who followed in his footsteps were primarily concerned with attacking their own extant society - establishing the legitimacy of their envisioned society was primarily done to delegitimize the society they so detested. This revolutionary bent born of foregone-conclusion reasoning might’ve amounted to nothing, but for the collectivist nature of his conceived social contract: 

Filtering out the inessentials, we’ll find that the socialcompact comes down to this:’Each of us puts his person and all his power incommon under the supreme direction of the generalwill, and, in our corporate capacity, we receive eachmember as an indivisible part of the whole.’

This is diametrically opposed to Western liberalism, which takes as fundamental truth the sanctity of each individual’s freedom, and struggles to reconcile individual freedom with the restrictions and co-operation required to operate in society. Rousseau rejects the individual entirely - his individual will isn’t even mentioned, and his “person and all his power” are at the complete command of the general will. Consider this passage: 

To protect the social compact from being a mere emptyformula, therefore, it silently includes the undertaking thatanyone who refuses to obey the general will is to be compelledto do so by the whole body. This single item in the compactcan give power to all the other items. It means nothing lessthan that each individual will be forced to be free. ·It’sobvious how forcing comes into this, but. . . to be free? Yes·,because this is the condition which, by giving each citizento his country, secures him against all personal dependence,

Personal freedom and will simply do not exist under Rousseau's vision. At all. When combined with revolutionary fervor born of anti-establishment grievances, you can understand how this philosophy powered the French and Russian revolutions. 

This, my dear Anon, is the source of the statement you quoted from my last post. Fundamental to their philosophy - dating back to its very inception - are the concepts of an unjust and oppressive state and the supreme righteousness of the general will. That they lack the majority support of the populace matters not, for even Rousseau argued - and I quote - “Individualsmust be made to bring their wills into line with their reason;the populace must be taught to know what it wills.” He even envisioned a “great Legislator,” some supremely talented demagogue who would be capable of this great task of telling the populace what they actually will. Plato also made this argument with his wise “philosopher-kings,” but Plato was more honest - with the “myth of the metals” allegory he openly acknowledged that he was saying men are unequal and many not capable of governing themselves properly, and that overt claims of the equality of man were a noble lie that was needed to keep the peace, keep the fools happy and content. Plato’s student, Aristotle, criticized that idea as the trash it was, and Western liberalism would side with him and never look back. 

This is why domestic terrorist groups like antifa justify the silencing of people they don’t like via violence - it’s perfectly in line with their philosophy. They represent the General Will, and anyone who doesn’t fall in line with it must be “forced to be free.” This is the root of the left-wing, Rousseauain/Marxist philosophy that first gained real power in America in 1969, on college campuses, and has been growing ever since. This is the source of the increasingly steep and wide partisan divide in American politics. Leftist ideology is fundamentally at odds with the principles and philosophy that America’s entire government, legal system and Constitution was based on - and by extension, fundamentally incompatible with anyone who believes in those basic precepts. The blue-collar union Democrats who voted for Reagan and then voted for Trump believe in those American principles, for example. Anyone who argues for the importance of a free press, freedom of speech and the individual rights of people are not, at their very roots, leftists. These people, they might have a point - as the union people did. They applied some of Marx’s critiques in the particulars, but they reconciled them with their own liberal philosophies. 

If leftists do have a point, they do not bother to argue them in good faith - because their own philosophy absolves them of the need for that. How liberals can tolerate people who are so tyrannical in fundamental philosophy (and increasingly in actual practice,) people who reject the most basic precepts that liberals champion, I cannot fathom. 

I talk about them because I want Democrats who are liberals - you - to recognize the problem. 

[aphrostarot]

Healing Inner Child Pick a Pile

What wounds does your inner child have and how can you help heal them?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me if you are interested!

Pile One (Fuchsite):

How do you see yourself?

Seven of Wands:

You view yourself as someone who has fought tooth and nail to get to where you are. You also believe you have a strong sense of justice and will never let others stand in their way. However, due to the difficulties you've encountered in your life, you have lost the ability to see others as allies, which has hindered your ability to make new friends, keep friends, and ask for help when you need it.

The Widow:

Throughout her life, the Widow has suffered a lot of death, literally and figuratively. She, however, has survived each of these losses with a great amount of strength. While you have had a lot of difficulties in your life, you have handled them with great dignity and grace. These are the things you believe make you strong and give you the ability to survive all that life throws your way.

How does your inner child see you?

Ten of Cups:

This is the card of fairy tales and having it come out here is showing me that your inner child thinks of you as their fairy tale ending. You are everything your inner child ever dreamed of becoming. They view you as obtaining their happily ever after, after having gone through a period of struggles in life. You are very successful and charming in their eyes.

The Coquette:

In their eyes, you are extremely charming, confident, and flirtatious. You have everyone’s eyes on you when you walk into a room. Everyone either wants to be you or do you. You are able to charm the socks off just about anyone you encounter, making them give you just about anything you want. You are very dreamy in your inner child’s eyes.

How does your inner child feel currently?

Two of Swords:

They feel out of balance and they do not know how to find balance again. They are scared because they view you as this amazing person, as the one who they always dreamed of becoming and you do not think of yourself like that, which scares them. Because how can they see you for what you truly are and you not see that? How can you be the same person yet be so so, different?

What did you lack as a child?

Ten of Pentacles:

This is the card of abundance, of happy families. It seems to me that your family lacked financial abundance in your childhood and this really affected your happiness as a whole family but also as an individual.

What is something that has left your inner child scarred?

Three of Pentacles:

At some point in your life, you were the victim of envy, and this scarred your inner child. The people around you were jealous of you, so instead of trying to help you, they tried to destroy you instead. As a result of them hurting you, your inner child struggles to trust others.

How does that thing affect your life now?

Ten of Wands:

This has affected your ability to work hard, and your progress in life. When these people were trying to ruin your life you were at a point where your progress and hard work were just starting to pay off. And now you have a fear of making progress in your life because you fear the people around you will not support your life last time.

The Empress:

The Empress is all about growth and having it come out here is telling me that your fear of success is hindering your growth within yourself. Your inner child’s trauma is what is causing you to fear your own success and your mistrust of others.

What is something you can do to heal your inner child?

Nine of Swords:

As a result of the trauma that your inner child has endured, they have become very anxious and depressed. Your lack of trust in others is your inner child coming forward.

Seven of Cups:

By rediscovering your dreams of success, you will be able to heal your inner child. As a result of your past, you have lost those dreams and this has caused a lot of pain to your inner child. You will be more willing to achieve success once you realize that people in your life don't determine how you spend your life, thus healing your inner child.

Princess:

You are your own knight in shining armor, according to this card. There is no need for anyone else to fight for you. To help your inner child heal, your guides are telling you that you must fight for yourself. You do not need the people in your life to approve of your life decisions.

How can you support your inner child?

The Devil:

As we have established, your inner child views you as the person they have always dreamed of becoming, and this card is showing that one way to support your inner child is by viewing yourself as they do. You can regain balance in your life by aligning your views of yourself with theirs.

Tower:

This card tells you to unplug and relax. You need some self-care at this moment. Your guides are saying that a way for you to support your inner child is by taking care of yourself. Love yourself, view yourself the way your inner child does.

What does your inner child have to say to you?

Six of Cups:

When you were a kid you were very passionate about life and your dreams of success. Those dreams were shattered by setbacks and jealous people who made you lose heart. You are being urged by your inner child to rediscover those dreams. Channel your inner child so you can feel that passion yet again.

Pile Two (Amethyst):

How do you see yourself?

The Empress:

Charm, charisma, and beauty are just a few of the things you think make you special. Your view is that you are a very creative and intelligent person who can succeed in anything they do. In your eyes, you exude a strong motherly nature that compels others to love being in your presence making you a great friend and lover.

The Gamine:

The Gamine rejects all things that society deems feminine, often rocking a pixie cut or a short chop with boxy clothes. They are free-spirited and a delight to be around. This is how you see yourself, as possessing a charming youthful spirit.

How does your inner child see you?

Six of Wands:

Your inner child sees you as someone who loves the spotlight but is very passionate, determined, and unafraid to take risks. In their eyes, you are positive, optimistic, and a natural-born leader. It feels to me that you are not at all someone they ever imagined becoming but they love who you have become.

The Siren:

The siren is a symbol of the challenge of resistance. Irresistible, she can entice just about anyone into her traps. She has every enchanted by her beauty and her voice. That is how your inner child perceives you, as someone who is irresistible and extremely strong.

How does your inner child feel currently?

Queen of Cups:

Your inner child feels very loyal to you. They love you very much and cannot believe how far you have come in your life. They are putting you on a pedestal due to the fact that you have surmounted everything they could have ever imagined becoming. They idolize you.

The High Priestess:

As this is the card of secrets, it seems like they are also reluctant to discuss how they are feeling at the moment. Maybe it is hard for them to trust others so they aren’t willing to share with me how they’re feeling currently. From the energy, I sense that they feel alone and that they cannot trust anyone else but themselves.

What did you lack as a child?

The Hierophant:

You had a very hectic childhood. Your family never had any traditions. Not only were there no traditions, but there was a lack of balance as well. Constantly walking on eggshells around the people in your life, you never knew what to expect. Not wanting to rock the boat for fear of uproar.

Three of Swords:

As a result of your hectic childhood, you received heartbreak after heartbreak. This makes sense with the energy I am receiving from your inner child. Your inner child is very untrustworthy because you lacked the stability in your childhood to feel like you could truly trust others.

What is something that has left your inner child scarred?

Ten of Wands:

As a kid, the people in your life relied on you a lot to provide for them and to keep them in check. You were blamed for many things, and you had to enforce balance in a place where it did not exist. You were the parent to your siblings and you were the parent to yourself. Which has left your inner child scarred and scared to trust others.

Justice:

As a child, you experienced a lack of justice. You were blamed for so many of the bad things that happened because you were expected to be the emotional punching bag for so long and when you didn't live up to your role you were punished.

How does that thing affect your life now?

Three of Pentacles:

This scarring affected your education. Your family may have pressured you to stay home and take care of them, so you did not pursue higher education. Alternatively, you may not believe you are intellectually capable of pursuing higher education. Whatever the case may be, your education has been greatly affected by the scarring your inner child experienced.

What is something you can do to heal your inner child?

Three of Wands:

The way for you to heal your inner child is by teaming up with someone. Asking for help. You have been conditioned all your life to be a strong individual, who never asks for help even when they need it. Now is the time to change that. Your guides want you to reach out to someone and ask for help when you need it. You do not need to tough it out alone.

Voyage:

Voyage tells you that you have all the answers within yourself, and you know it. You have been trying to avoid rocking the boat for some time now even though you knew that asking for help was the right option. You know, and maybe always have known, that you need help to get through this. Your inner child urges you to listen to yourself over trying to be what everyone else is telling you to be.

How can you support your inner child?

Two of Pentacles:

Your whole childhood lacked balance which left your inner child wounded. Here, your guides are telling you that the way for you to support your inner child is by finding balance in your life.

Escapist:

For a long time now, you have avoided what needs to be done in your life, avoiding this lack of balance. The way to support your inner child is to come home to yourself. Stop running away from yourself and what you need to do. Find that balance so you can begin to heal.

What does your inner child have to say to you?

Seven of Pentacles:

The Seven of Pentacles is all about plans paying off and having it come out here shows me that your inner child is telling you to maintain hope because soon your plans will pay off. If you do not have plans for the future, this is your inner child's way of telling you that you may need to plan more for your future because your hard work will pay off.

Additional Messages:

A channeled message I received from your inner child is, "You possess limitless abundance, you just need to believe it."

Pile Three (Amazonite):

How do you see yourself?

Nine of Wands:

You have faced an extreme amount of seemingly insurmountable challenges in your life and have come out on top almost every time. This has caused you to believe that you have unlimited potential to achieve all of your dreams. You see yourself as someone who will preserve until they reach their end goal.

The Demon Mother:

The Demon Mother is a vessel of mysterious power. She has a strong ability to manifest whatever it is she desires. She, however, commands attention, and others can’t help but be in awe of her. This is how you see yourself.

How does your inner child see you?

Ace of Wands:

Your inner child sees you as someone who is constantly pushing forward towards the things they want. They think that you are very successful when it comes to getting the things you want. Overall it seems to me that you and your inner child view you in the same way, as a very hardworking fiery individual. You could even be a fire sign, Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius.

The Psychic:

It is the psychic's strong intuition that allows them to see the future. They are able to predict what will happen in the future. Your inner child sees you as someone who has great abilities when it comes to your intuition. Whether you have practiced it or not doesn’t matter in their eyes, because to them you are very very magical.

How does your inner child feel currently?

Two of Pentacles:

They feel as though they are out of balance. This is interesting to me because they view you ultimately the same way as you view yourself. However, based on the energy I am getting from both you and them I think that you may be unaware of how strong your intuition really is. This is where they feel that imbalance, in you being unaware of how much power you hold. They know you can do so much with your powers if you were just aware of them.

What did you lack as a child?

Knight of Swords:

It seems to me that you had a masculine energy in your childhood who was very aggressive and caused you a great deal of drama and conflict growing up. This person loved to fight and that’s all they did when you were a kid, whether it was with you or other people. You were a witness to a lot of aggression.

Two of Swords:

Because of that person and their aggression, your childhood lacked a lot of balance. It was always a crossroads when it came to them, whether you should avoid them or face them. You were constantly juggling the drama and conflict that they put you through that your childhood lacked peace and balance.

What is something that has left your inner child scarred?

Judgment:

You lacked the ability to make decisions for yourself as a child and this really left your inner child scarred. This aggressive person had strong control over almost everything in your life at a young age and you were never really given the chance to be in charge of your own life.

Strength:

When you were a kid you feared standing up for yourself against this person who had so much control over you. This fear made you believe that you were not strong enough to stand up for yourself, which left your inner child scarred as well.

How does that thing affect your life now?

The Hermit:

You now live your life in a constant hermit mode. Avoiding others at all costs because you fear ending up in a relationship like the one you had with that person. You are lonely as a result. You may have a few friends but you keep them at arm’s length, not allowing them to truly get to know you. You believe that you are the only one who will ever truly know you and love you.

What is something you can do to heal your inner child?

Four of Pentacles:

The card of possessiveness indicates holding on to what you have with all your might. According to your guides, the only way you can heal your inner child is by keeping your things to yourself. Because you didn't have much control over your life and what you had when you were growing up, you aren't so possessive now. Since you never had anything to yourself as a kid, you allow others to take it from you at will. You may also just give your things to others because you aren't used to having them yourself. Your guides want you to stop that behavior and start holding onto the things you have.

Garden:

This card tells you that now is the time to focus on yourself, even if you feel that it is selfish. Put yourself first because you can now. Even though you were conditioned to believe that you are not in control of yourself, you are. Now is the time to truly listen to yourself and what you want, then go after it. If you do that, something good will arise, and that good thing will be the healing of your inner child.

How can you support your inner child?

Queen of Pentacles:

Treat yourself. Give yourself everything you have ever wanted, within reason. According to your guides, this is the way you can help your inner child. Bring luxury into your life, spend money on yourself, give yourself a spa day or two. Give yourself what you lacked as a child. Control over your needs and desires being fulfilled.

Lighthouse:

This is the card of not doubting your worth. Your childhood made you think that you were not capable of really anything, and that has really affected your inner child a great deal. The way for you to support your inner child is by believing in yourself, knowing that you truly are worthy of just about anything that you put your mind to.

What does your inner child have to say to you?

The Lovers:

Out of all of the piles here, the love that comes from your inner child is indescribable. Your inner child loves you so very much. It is hard for me to even find the words to describe the amount of love that is coming from them. They are extremely proud of you and everything that you have become. That is really all they want you to know, just how much they love you.

Additional Message:

Before closing out this pile this is what I heard from your inner child, “Thank you for everything. I love you, it’s always been you that was there no matter what.”

Pile Four (Rose Quartz):

How do you see yourself?

Page of Wands:

As a thrill-seeker, you consider yourself someone who enjoys adventures. In your eyes, you are passionate and free-thinking. You enjoy traveling, especially to exotic locations, and you enjoy socializing with other people. Aside from that, you have a very young heart, which makes you extremely optimistic and joyful. According to you, you are a very forgiving person who is willing to overlook red flags, which makes you an excellent friend.

The She-Wolf:

You see yourself as a person who is not only fierce but also has a great inner strength. In your eyes, you are a survivor, having been through so much and surviving it all. Additionally, you are very protective of the people in your life, willing to do whatever it takes to protect them.

How does your inner child see you?

The Magician:

Your inner child sees you as a very quick person. In their eyes, you have great mental agility. You are considered very magical, you have a strong intuition and are an amazing manifestor. You are seen by your inner child as someone who is very eloquent and highly intelligent.

The Magical Girl:

This is interesting to me because the Magician in Tarot is a very magical card, representing having an innate ability to manifest whatever it is you want. The Magician is very magical and in this Oracle deck, the Magical Girl is essentially the Magician. Your inner child defines you as someone with great abilities and someone who has grown so much over the course of their life.

How does your inner child feel currently?

Knight of Swords:

Right now, your inner child is very aggressive. Almost angry, they are restless and destructive. They are irritated and ready to fight. You have been ignoring your inner child for quite some time now, which has really pissed them off. There is strong firey energy here. In astrology, it seems to be more water or air energy rather than fire signs. You might be a Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Scorpio, Cancer, or Pisces. It feels like strong Scorpio energy.

What did you lack as a child?

Ten of Wands:

There were a lot of burdens placed on you as a child. It feels to me that you lacked a childhood as a kid. You were expected to be strong and mature and not act your age. You were the one who mainly held your family up which is a lot of pressure to put on a child resulting in a lack of innocence and play.

What is something that has left your inner child scarred?

King of Wands:

The King of Wands is a masculine energy consumed with their desires. Pure passion drives them to focus on their career and hobbies. Growing up, you had someone like this in your life. Instead of focusing on you, they focused on their career, making it so you were the one in charge because they were never around.

How does that thing affect your life now?

Death:

Death is the card of transformation, of shedding the old and embracing the new, becoming a new person. You have not been able to let go of your past, holding on to the old which is holding you back from your transformation. You can’t truly grow if you are not willing to let go of some things along the way. Your guides are saying that yes, you had a rough childhood but you have grown up. Now is the time to treat yourself the way you deserved as a kid, instead of maintaining that negative treatment.

What is something that you can do to heal your inner child?

Five of Swords:

You've been struggling for some time now, trying to regain control of your life. Yet, as we have established, the way in which you were battling for control is detrimental to you. According to you, now is the time to act your age and be mature because that is what is best for you. But you are treating yourself the same way that person treated you when you were a kid. By letting go of the idea that you are doing what is right for you, you will be able to heal your inner child. Instead of ignoring your inner child, embrace them.

Thorns:

A good support system is just as important as self-care. The idea that you only need yourself may have led you to go at life alone. Your guides are saying that you can heal your inner child by giving yourself a childhood. Hang out with your friends. Act like a child and have fun since that is what is needed here.

How can you support your inner child?

Ace of Pentacles:

The Ace of Pentacles is all about building a foundation. So, the way for you to support your inner child is by building a solid foundation for you to freely be able to act like a child in your life. You may not feel comfortable doing this in your life right now, but the key to this is building a solid foundation for you to do this. Surround yourself with people that allow you to do this, make your home a safe place, fill it with things that make you comfortable. The key to success here is your own comfort levels.

Confidence:

You also may be lacking the confidence to truly give yourself a break from the hustle and bustle of life and show your inner child. Your guides are saying that you need to build your confidence so you can support your inner child. The key to feeling confident is feeling comfortable. Make sure you are comfortable with the people you surround yourself with and with the things you surround yourself with.

What does your inner child have to say to you?

The Devil:

The Devil is all things passionate and all things taboo. Your inner child tells me that you avoid all these things because they scare you because your childhood lacked fun. You need to embrace some of the things that scare you. Take baby steps towards having fun. Do things you were never allowed to do as a child.

Additional Messages:

While channeling for this pile, I heard "Have fun...let loose...try new things...be brave, little one." I heard the phrase, "Chicken little," but I have no idea what it means. I'm hoping someone can understand what it means.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

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[aphrostarot]

Who Are You Pick a Pile

How are you seen by your friends, family, you, and society? How do you want to be seen and who are you actually?

Remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Do not try and force it to fit. If you would like a personal reading you can click here. There I have my shop where I offer all of my readings. Or you can dm me with what you'd like.

*Please read before you pick a pile*

I say spirit when I am channeling and writing out your readings, if you do not believe in spirit that is totally okay, this message is still meant for you if you feel that it is! Whatever you believe in is valid and you can ignore when I say spirit if you don't believe in it or, replace it with whoever you believe is giving you this message. If you have any questions or you just want to talk about this feel free to dm me!

Pile One (Rose Quartz):

How do your friends see you?

Three of Wands: In this specific deck the three of wands is depicted as a long journey ahead, one that you are just starting. That being said, this would mean that your friends see you as someone who is starting a journey, maybe of self-discovery, a career journey, spiritual journey, etc. Your friends see you as someone strong, knows what they want, and is driven to get that.

The Avenger: The Avenger is made, not born. Her state of mind evolved from a primal desire for vengeance - and she has the drive to carry it out by whatever means necessary. The Avenger is distinguished by her ability to weaponize her innate knowledge and her surroundings and forgoes other elements of her personality until justice is served. In revenge films, the Avenger functions as karma personified - and her payback is defined by its symbolic, poetic flourish. Your friends think you’re strong and that you are someone who has fought to become who they are and will continue to fight until they become who they want to be.

How does your family see you?

Five of Pentacles: This card represents poverty, a great loss. Your family sees you as someone who has lost a lot and is currently in a dark place, in a low. They think that you are going through a tough time. You have lost a lot and that you need help.

The Goth: The Goth lives in a romantic world of horror and death. In genre fiction, the Goth often finds herself as the keeper of a mystical secret, an explorer of unholy ground, or an unknowing link to the realm of the dead. She often makes her home in a remote, decaying property, and her solitude allows for her to fully embrace every instance of terror. While the Goth’s inquisitive nature and innate resolve allow her to stand up against corrupt forces, both human and supernatural, she may also allow herself to be seduced by dark passions. This is how your family sees you, as someone who has accepted the darkness and is not willing to come out. They also see you as someone who wants to go against the grain and does their own thing.

How do you see you?

The Sun: Happiness is the meaning of this card. You see yourself as someone who is happy, successful, optimistic, and confident. You feel like you have this warm energy surrounding you, yellow may resonate with you. You feel like you are a light in a lot of people’s lives like you are the person people go to when they need someone to brighten their mood.

Two of Pentacles: The primary meaning of this card is, balance and all things that come with it such as; adaption, flexibility, and resourcefulness. Again, you view yourself as someone who is resourceful, the person that others go to when they need help. You feel as though you have your life in check, you know what you want and how you’re going to get it. You feel like you are good at balancing things and keeping everything in order.

The Muse: The Muse speaks to the soul. In fiction, the Muse is a woman who embodies the spirit of a particular moment so much that she’s upheld as an inspiration. While the Muse may be kept as a source of personal inspiration for an artist, her life is an artistic expression in itself. She may exude an attitude, philosophy, or appearance that makes her emblematic of lifelong creative or romantic partnerships. Even if her je ne sais quoi is short-lived, her impact can be crystallized forever. You think you are the person who is an inspiration to the people around you, that people center their lives and pursuits off of what you have done and continue to do.

How does society see you?

Seven of Pentacles: This is the card of growth, of hard work paying off after some planning. Society sees you as someone who has gone through a lot and has grown from that, that you’ve planned the way you want your life to go and that you execute those plans. You do everything you need to in order to get to where you want to be.

The Spinster: The Spinster is unbothered. In romance fiction, the Spinster is a woman who has remained single past the age deemed desirable, and as such is typically childless. The Spinster’s isolation from traditional domestic roles of wife and mother makes her solitary life a source of speculation and projected anxiety. The Spinster is generally used to caution young women against the dead-end of an unmarried life, and her solitude is seen as a consequence of curdled femininity. Whether by choice or not, the Spinster has the ability to rely solely on herself. Society views you as an independent person, someone who doesn’t need anyone, someone who chooses to be single because they don’t need anyone other than themselves to make them happy.

How do you want to be seen?

The Hermit: This is the card of solitude, of self-reflection. Meaning, you want to be seen as someone who is independent, working on themselves, and growing. You may like the idea of people viewing you as a hard-working self-indulgent person, a person who keeps to themselves and has persevered through everything thrown their way. Someone who makes their life work and has gotten what they want because they worked for it.

The Earth Mother: The Earth Mother is in sync with her environment. In genre film, the Earth Mother represents a connection to the terrestrial, often by rejecting modernity and embracing life in nature. She may present as a hippie who prioritizes the health of the environment, or as the maternal figure in a commune, offering motherly guidance to those seeking a more pastoral life. She may also be upheld as a symbol of growth, harvest, or fertility, and possess a mystical connection to the secrets of the natural world. You very much may want to be seen as someone with cottage core energy.

Who are you actually?

Nine of Wands: You are someone who has a lot of emotional baggage from your upbringing or previous relationships. This makes you a people-pleaser who wants others to like you because, deep down, you feel unworthy. Therefore, you’re the type of person who others walk over and take advantage of. On the opposite end of the scale, you could be unwilling to let anyone into your inner circle. You do not trust easily and are suspicious of others. The Nine of Wands, however, is a sign that your mistrust may be justified, which is a positive aspect of the card; you’re not quick to let just anyone into your life.

The Maid: The Maid sees everything and tells nothing. In pulp fiction, the Maid is typically a meek domestic worker who peers into the daily intrigues of the family she’s working for. Be it excessive consumption, familial corruption, or adulterous affairs, the Maid is expected to sweep the scandals of the every day up and out of sight. Due to her exclusive access to people’s lives, she may often palsy as a star witness in a trial, or get caught up in a blackmail scheme. But the Maid typically represents some form of class repression or exploitation - until she gets the chance to turn the tables. You have been on the underside of life for a long time, that doesn’t mean you will always be that way, you can turn the tables after a bit of work

Pile Two (Sodalite):

How do your friends see you?

Page of Pentacles (reversed): The Page of Pentacles reversed represents someone who is; foolish, immature, irresponsible, lazy, an underachiever, and a procrastinator. This is how your friends see you as someone who is not reliable and is childish.

The Cyborg: The Cyborg is a transgressive blend of human and machine. In science fiction, the organic, human form can be supplemented with technological enhancement. As such, the Cyborg has the capacity for mechanical perfection, working in tandem with human thought, emotion, and values. While often a figure of fear for their ability to rewrite and surpass human flaws. The Cyborg may use their abilities for destruction, but can also offer a glimpse into a perfected human being who is able to transcend human history and work towards utopic harmony. Your friends see you as someone who needs an upgrade. Someone who needs to change so they can be like the cyborg, able to use their powers to bring about harmony or destruction.

How does your family see you?

Seven of Swords (reversed): This is the card of truth being revealed, of having been manipulative in the past and now coming out and revealing that truth. So, your family sees you as someone who has something to reveal, something that you have been hiding from them.

The Headmistress: The Headmistress rules with an iron fist. In fiction, the Headmistress is responsible for overseeing the entirety of a school, typically one for girls or young women, and for managing its students, staff, and grounds. While the Headmistress is typically a strict disciplinarian with an eye for getting results, she can also function as a maternal, albeit authoritative presence. Her reputation often precedes her, and being summoned into her office is enough to strike fear into the heart of any student. Your family views you as someone who is to be feared, someone who does whatever it takes to be heard and in control.

How do you see you?

Seven of Wands: You see yourself as someone who needs to stand up for yourself no matter what, defend yourself and your territory. You may have gone through a lot to get to where you are and you don’t what to lose it. You feel like people are constantly trying to question you and bring you down, so, you defend yourself.

The Empress: You view yourself as the Divine Feminine, as someone who embraces all things feminine. You think you are someone who is loving, warm, sensual, and that you are as charismatic as you are beautiful. You defend yourself because people don’t understand the real you, in your eyes.

The Siren: The Siren’s call is irresistible. In horror and mythology, the Siren is a beautiful amphibious creature who appears as a human woman or a human and animal hybrid. The Siren typically lives with others of her kind in the rocks and cliffs of coastal areas. Together, the Sirens use their powerful voices to lure passing sailors towards shipwreck and death. While the origins and goals of the Siren vary, she is ultimately symbolic of the challenge of resistance. You feel like you are irresistible, that you are someone that nobody can resist.

How does society see you? The Magician: The Magician is someone who is; spontaneous, skillful, creative, original, someone of quick understanding, excellent reasoning, intelligent initiatives, and intellectual curiosity. This is how society views you, as someone who is extremely intelligent, someone who uses their brain and is quick with it.

The Gamine: The Gamine strolls the side streets straight into your heart. In genre film and musicals, the Gamine appears as a young, often waifish woman with a penchant for androgynous style and frank speech. Her rejection of what’s ascribed as feminine is characterized by her embrace of the masculine, opting for a short chop or pixie cut and boxy clothes, and presenting a boyish, unpolished demeanor. The Gamine may pursue an independent, bohemian lifestyle in defiance of gender expectations, but is too charming to thwart off attention from suitors from all walks of life.

How do you want to be seen?

Queen of Swords: The Queen of Swords has very high standards and can be highly critical of herself and others, she doesn’t allow anyone to use her, she puts people in their place. You want to be seen as someone who stands up for themselves and is loved but slightly feared. You want people to understand where they stand with you and to not test you or cross you.

The Coquette: Flattery has gotten the Coquette everywhere, and she has no plans to stop now. In genre film or musicals, the Coquette has a way with words and a knack for reading people - particularly people who have something she wants. She can be an adept conversationalist or an emotional card sharp, but she’ll make you feel so good about yourself you won’t even miss whatever it is you’ve handed over. You want to be seen as someone who is charming, a little intimidating but still, charming. You want people to fear you but also love you.

Who are you actually?

Ace of Pentacles: You are or are meant to be very clever and full of ideas. You are very innovative and clever and you do best with intellectual activities. You use the power of your mind to achieve what you want and need. You will apply reason and intellect to confront issues occurring in your life. You have great literacy skills and rarely lose an argument or discussion. You are someone who is very competitive and will not let go of your position easily. You love taking risks. You usually become an expert in any field you work in. A part of you is very restless and you need to be constantly stimulated. Sometimes you get lost in your head and need to be grounded. It is worth mentioning that the Ace of Pentacles represents new money coming forward, so, it is worth saying that you may be meant to make money in some way.

The Diva: The Diva has a gift from heaven that can make your life hell. In genre film, the Diva is a commanding artistic presence with an impossibly unique talent. The Diva is highly sought after and showered with praise but can become indignant and fickle when she’s not in total control of her ability. She may demand that conditions be met perfectly in order for her to perform, and storm out if she’s denied. Ultimately, the Diva needs her talent to shine just as much as the people around her, and she will do what is necessary to stay in the spotlight. You are meant to be in the spotlight, whether that be literally famous or just in the spotlight in your personal surroundings.

Pile Three (Fuchsite):

How do your friends see you?

Ten of Wands (reversed): The Ten of Wands reversed represents that your friends see you as someone who is truly burdened by circumstances that are not necessary in your life. They think that you are shouldering too much responsibility, that you fail to delegate because you may fear asking for help or you truly believe that you are capable of handling it all on your own. They think that if you continue to go on this way, you will reach a breakdown.

Six of Pentacles (reversed): The Six of Pentacles reversed means that your friends think that you are someone who is extremely generous, to your own faults. You give too much, more than you are capable of giving. They think that you are extremely nice and caring but that you need to take care of yourself. This could also mean that they think that you are someone who gives but at a cost. That when you are “generous” it always comes with you expecting things in return. They think that you are selfish.

The Dancer: The Dancers body is their instrument. The Dancer presents a mastery of control over their physical movement and expression and is a subject of fascination across a variety of genres. In the psychological thriller, they may obsess over perfecting their performance to the point of mania; in horror, they may perform a physical expression of moral corruption; in erotica, they may move to seduce and entice. Regardless of their particular presentation, the Dancer commands attention through perseverance - their refinement of skill even if just performing for themselves. Your friends see you as someone who puts a lot of their body, as someone who works hard and doesn’t take care of themselves enough. They also see you as someone who is extremely talented at what they do regardless of whether they ask for help or not.

How does your family see you?

Seven of Swords: Your family thinks that you are sneaky, that you operate in the shadows and gather information that might later serve you. They think you may be planning to betray someone, or a group of people, in order to assure self-advancement.

On the other hand, they may think that you are trying to better your situation. They think that the people you surround yourself with may be causing you great misery, hindering your progress, or your road towards self-improvement. If that is the case, they feel that you need to escape your current situation without insulting or hurting the people around you.

The Avenger (reversed): The Avenger is made, not born. Her state of mind evolved from a primal desire for vengeance - and she has the drive to carry it out by whatever means necessary. The Avenger is distinguished by her ability to weaponize her innate knowledge and her surroundings and forgoes other elements of her personality until justice is served. In revenge films, the Avenger functions as karma personified - and her payback is defined by its symbolic, poetic flourish. When she is reversed though, that means that rather than being focused, of having the motivation to get things done, and of seeking justice you are; cruel, filled with rage, and obsessed with the wrong things. This is what they think of you. Going off of what was said above, your family thinks that your friends are doing this to you.

How do you see you?

Page of Cups: You see yourself as someone who is highly intuitive and sensitive to the entire world and various dimensions around you. You think you have a loving, gentle, and warm personality and a strong desire to be around kindred spirits, who help you to feel needed and special. You think you’re highly creative and emotional, that you can be as shy as you are desperate to avoid conflict. Although, you won’t back down from a fight if a fight is what’s called for.

The Spinster (reversed): The Spinster is unbothered. In romance fiction, the Spinster is a woman who has remained single past the age deemed desirable, and as such is typically childless. The Spinster’s isolation from traditional domestic roles of wife and mother makes her solitary life a source of speculation and projected anxiety. The Spinster is generally used to caution young women against the dead-end of an unmarried life, and her solitude is seen as a consequence of curdled femininity. Whether by choice or not, the Spinster has the ability to rely solely on herself. Now with this coming out reversed, instead of you thinking you’re like that you actually think you’re timid, full of fear, and in disarray. Yes, you think that you’re highly intuitive maybe even an empath but still, a part of you thinks that you are small and full of anxiety.

How does society see you?

Justice: Society sees you as a decent, law-abiding individual. They think you make decisions carefully, weighing all the pros and cons. That you are good with words and place a high value on education. Also that you are practical and cautious, but remain a romantic at heart.

Two of Cups: Society thinks you’re warm, loving, and sweet. That you are keen on building and maintaining strong, long-term relationships. That you will marry young and/or remain in a devoted relationship. They think that nurturing relationships are at the core of your belief system, they think you are a great friend, child, siblings, and lover. That you are a natural healer due to your ability to listen to your partners and give great advice in return.

The Cat Burglar: The Cat Burglar is at her best when you never see her at all. In genre fiction, the Cat Burglar has a knack for sneaking into places she’s not wanted and sneaking out with more than she had before. While she prefers to work in shadow, she’s also a master of disguise and can situate herself undetected in plain sight. She can also function as a lady thief, who only seeks impossibly difficult targets or the rarest of valuables, and seldom uses physical force in conquest. Society sees you as someone who is able to blend in wherever you go, but not because you are not noticed, it is your own choice. They see you as someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want.

How do you want to be seen?

The Hanged Man: You want to be seen as confident — perhaps overly so. This card can also represent indecision, and as such, you may be at risk of not recognizing these opportunities when they do come to you. Consequently, you remain forever in limbo, trapped in your indecision, your primary action being non-action. You want to be seen as the person who is extremely confident, not aware of the things around them, just happy with what they have, and happy to be where they are.

The Mystic: The Mystic is in touch with the divine. In fiction, the Mystic may appear as a visionary or prophet who receives messages from outside the earthly realm. She may also appear as a sorceress or alchemist who can manipulate natural materials for her own ends. In any iteration, she is well versed in esoteric interests and shrouded in mystery and can use her knowledge to better herself or provide guidance for others. You want to be seen as someone who can help others and who has abilities.

Who are you actually?

Queen of Wands: You are meant to be passionate and ambitious. You are meant to be quite extroverted, with a radiant and friendly quality about you. At your core, you are a highly social creature, with a natural tendency to spread happiness and joy.

You also have a high sense of self-worth and will not let others belittle you. You aspire to be successful on a professional level — and almost always attain it

The Cyborg: The Cyborg is a transgressive blend of human and machine. In science fiction, the organic, human form can be supplemented with technological enhancement. As such, the Cyborg has the capacity for mechanical perfection, working in tandem with human thought, emotion, and values. While often a figure of fear for their ability to rewrite and surpass human flaws. The Cyborg may use their abilities for destruction, but can also offer a glimpse into a perfected human being who is able to transcend human history and work towards utopic harmony. You are meant to use your abilities of spreading happiness and joy for the greater good.

Remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Do not try and force it to fit. If you would like a personal reading you can click here. There I have my shop where I offer all of my readings. Or you can dm me with what you'd like.