#and touch lives you've never met and will never intersect with again

[bread-tab]

#i was just liveblogging my therapy progress lol #did not expect this

i'm putting my tags in the post because the above addition happened when the post was at, like, idk, a few hundred notes??? and the one above that when it was at, like, a couple dozen. and that's the version that popped off, where i was thanking people for that dozen notes. lmao

and i'm pinning this so if you clicked my blog you can see that fun tidbit, and because i want to remember what an incredibly positive experience this has been. this is my second viral post (on any website, ever), and my first one was a shitpost about the frustrations of being sleep deprived. every single tag i see on this post is like "i've been doing this too and it improved my life" or "i want to get better at this" or "nice job OP."

this has, as you can imagine, been ridiculously validating.

and honestly, you know, i was just posting about a subtle habit i'd picked up that i'm not even that consistent at yet. i'm not good at this! the word "mindfulness" still makes me go eww. but here we are. turns out it still matters

the overwhelmingly positive response has really encouraged me to keep at this and continue finding little ways to bring more agency in my life.

so, seriously. thanks

💖

if you're wondering how to start this kind of habit for yourself...

someone in the notes recommended an app called OneSec which helps remind you to think about whether you actually want to open an app or website.

anything you can use to create a little friction or pause before you zone out works in the same way; isolating those apps in their own little folder, deleting the app so you're forced to use the web version, logging out of things, etc.

i use a launcher app called Minimalist Phone which, among other things, lets me decide how long i want to spend in an app and then prompts me to stop using it after that time. i encourage you to experiment with these kinds of tools and fight back against the mechanisms that exist to exploit your attention.

my own journey to this point was long and complicated and basically added up to millions and millions of small choices, decisions to try out ways of thinking and strategies to get better. those are going to be different for everyone. we all get these opportunities but they're very specific to our own lives. the principle behind it all, though, is that every little choice you make means something. every little experience you have. even if that's just looking at memes.

if you're feeling helpless, you can take the power over your own life back starting in really, really tiny ways.

start by making a specific choice like "instead of just opening an app and scrolling, i'm going to specifically search for 'cute orange cat photo' and feel a moment of satisfaction when i find one i like."

come up with your own teeny tiny goal that aligns with your interests. do that once to open the door. do it twice to establish a pattern. do it three times to make it a habit. do it again just because you can.

if making a goal feels too big, you can start with asking yourself questions. be casual about it. "what's fun about this?" "am i seeing things i like?" "what's keeping my attention here?"

it doesn't really matter what you ask as long as it gets your thoughts stirring. it's even okay if it's not a question you can actually answer. starting to notice what you're doing builds up the awareness that allows you to make choices.

the thing is, our brains don't really understand the difference between a little decision and a big one. under the emotional baggage, it's all just decisions. if you want to get more confident overall, you can trick yourself into it by practicing with these little things.

the practice counts. it starts with daring to try a new chip flavor even if you might not like it, or deciding you want to learn something today and googling "fun animal facts," or realizing "this youtuber pisses me off" and closing the video...

and before you know it you've slipped into applying the same thought process to bigger decisions and your life is changing for the better. it adds up. but you can start here, with small steps, where only you can see it and it's low-pressure. you have the power. you have unlimited chances to make it work. give yourself an opening, even if it's just a pinhole

somehow, amazingly, i have hacked the impulse that makes me mindlessly scroll on my phone. it's not gone but i've paired it with a conscious thought process that goes like, "what's my goal here? i'm looking for entertainment, for information, for something that makes me feel more optimistic and interested in the world i live in..."

and because that kicks in between apps, too, i'm not doomscrolling as much. i'm intentionally seeking out posts or videos or whatever that actually mean something to me. when i'm not satisfied i walk away or pick up a book instead. most subtle yet impactful change i've gone through in years

i did not intentionally set out to change this. i've just been working on my mindset in general. hey, turns out having a good therapist again helps

[hansmic]

*. * · ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇɴꜱ *. * ·

model! felix x photographer female! reader

MDNI!!

summary: A photographer and a model, whose lives have never truly intersected, find themselves working together on an important project. As the photoshoot progresses, the chemistry between them grows, leading to unexpected moments of intimacy and vulnerability.

genre: fluff, romance, smut

warnings, unprotected sex, fingering, kissing

word count: 2.9k

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦✦•······················•✦•·

As a professional photographer, you pride yourself on your technical skills and artistic eye. But there's something about this particular photoshoot that has you feeling a little nervous. Maybe it's the importance of the project, or maybe it's the fact that the model you'll be working with is none other than Felix, a man you've never met before but have seen in magazines and on billboards all over the city.

You arrive at the studio early to set up, and as you're adjusting the lighting and cameras, you hear the door open and in walks Felix, looking even more handsome in person than he does in photographs.

He introduces himself and you shake hands, feeling a small jolt of electricity at his touch. You get right to work, directing Felix to pose in different outfits and settings, snapping pictures as he complies.

As you continued to take photos, you couldn't help but notice how easy it was to work with Felix. He seemed to have a natural charisma and poise in front of the camera, effortlessly transitioning from one pose to the next.

"Is this what you had in mind?" he asked, as he posed against a white backdrop.

You smiled, feeling a sense of satisfaction at his ability to follow your directions and yet still add his own flair to each shot.

"Yes, that's perfect," you said, looking through the lens and capturing the image. "You're a natural at this, you know."

Felix chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Thanks," he said. "I've been doing this a while, but it's always nice to work with a talented photographer."

You feel a little flutter in your stomach at his compliment, but quickly brush it off as you focus on the task at hand.

As the photoshoot progresses, you can feel a growing chemistry between you and Felix. It's subtle at first, but as the hours pass, it becomes more and more apparent. There are moments where your eyes meet and a silent understanding passes between you, or when his hand accidentally brushes against yours and a shiver runs up your spine.

But despite the growing attraction, you try to remain professional. This is a job, and you're here to take pictures, not get involved with the model. But it gets harder and harder to ignore the pull you feel towards him.

Finally, as the sun starts to set, the photoshoot comes to an end. You pack up your gear, feeling a sense of both relief and disappointment that the day is over. Felix approaches you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Thanks for today," he says, his voice soft in the dim light of the studio. "I really enjoyed working with you."

You feel your cheeks flush a little at his words, and you quickly look down to adjust your camera bag.

"Yeah, no problem," you say, trying to sound nonchalant. "You were great."

He laughs softly, and you look up to meet his gaze. There's something in his eyes that makes your stomach flutter again, and for a moment, the air between you seems to crackle with electricity.

"You know," he says, taking a step closer to you, "I don't do this often, but I was wondering... would you want to grab a drink?"

You feel your heart skip a beat at his question. Part of you wants to say yes, to spend more time with him, to see where this attraction might lead. But another part of you is hesitant, reminding you that mixing business with pleasure can lead to messy complications.

"I don't know," you say, hesitating. "It's not really professional to hang out with models outside of work..."

Felix nods, respecting your concern. "Yeah, I get it. But I just... I don't know, I really enjoyed working with you today, and I thought maybe we could get to know each other better."

You can hear the sincerity in his voice, and you have to admit, you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the same. But you're not sure if it's worth potentially jeopardizing your career for a night out.

You hesitate for a moment, torn between your professional instincts and your personal desires. But in the end, the pull towards Felix is too strong to resist.

"Okay," you say, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I suppose one drink couldn't hurt."

Felix's face lights up with a smile. "Great," he says, sounding genuinely pleased. "There's a great bar just down the street, if you're up for it?"

You nod, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as you sling your camera bag over your shoulder. "Lead the way."

As you and Felix leave the studio, the cool night air hits your face, and you can feel your heart rate quicken in anticipation of what the night might bring. You follow him down the street, the neon lights of the city casting a glow over everything.

The bar is cozy and dimly lit, with small tables and a few plush couches. It's the kind of place where people go to have intimate conversations over cocktails. Felix leads you over to a small table in the corner and pulls out a chair for you.

You take a seat, feeling a little self-conscious as Felix sits down across from you. The atmosphere is suddenly more intimate than before, and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you.

"So," he says, a smile playing at the corner of his lips, "tell me a little about yourself. What made you become a photographer?"

You take a deep breath, glad for the opportunity to talk about something other than the growing tension between you. You tell him about your passion for photography and how it's always been a dream of yours to make a career out of it.

Felix listens intently, asking questions and nodding along as you speak. You can see he's genuinely interested in what you have to say, and it makes you feel seen and appreciated in a way you haven't experienced in a long time.

As the conversation continues, you find yourself opening up more and more. You tell him stories about your childhood and your family, your hopes and dreams, and your struggles and fears. And Felix reciprocates, sharing his own stories about growing up as a model and the highs and lows of the industry.

As the hours tick by, the conversation flows effortlessly, never growing stale or awkward. You find yourself becoming more and more attracted to Felix, not just because of his good looks, but because of his intelligence, his sense of humor, and the way he seems to truly see you.

Eventually, the conversation turns more personal. You talk about your relationships, past and present, and the lessons you've learned from them. Felix confesses that he's been single for a while, having grown weary of the superficial connections that often come with the modeling world.

The conversation eventually reaches a more intimate territory, as you start to talk about your own love life. You confide in him that you've also been single for a while, having been too focused on your career to make time for relationships. You share your fears of being alone, and Felix listens intently, his eyes full of understanding and empathy.

As the night wears on, the drink count starts to add up. Your inhibitions start to lower, and you find yourself feeling bolder and more carefree. You laugh louder, talk more freely, and let your guard down around Felix.

At one point, your hand brushes against his as you reach for your drink, and an electric shock passes between you. You look up and meet his gaze, and there's a spark of attraction that's impossible to ignore.

Without a word, Felix stands up and holds out his hand to you. You look at it for a moment, and then take it, allowing him to help you up from your seat. You're suddenly aware of how close he is, the scent of his cologne filling your nostrils and making your head spin.

He leads you out of the bar and onto the street. The cool night air feels refreshing against your flushed skin, and you realize how tipsy you've become. You're slightly unsteady on your feet, and Felix's arm comes around your waist to support you.

You stumble a little and fall against him, your body pressing against his side. You feel the heat radiating from him, and you can hear the steady rhythm of his heart beating in his chest.

He turns to look down at you, concern etched into his features. "Are you okay?" he asks, his hand grasping your elbow to steady you.

You nod, feeling a little embarrassed by your clumsiness. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you say, trying to smile. "I just had a little too much to drink, I think."

"Come on," he says, his tone gentle but firm. "Let's get you home."

He guides you down the street, keeping his arm around your waist to help you stay upright. You find yourself leaning heavily on him, your head swimming with alcohol and the nearness of his body.

The walk seems to take forever, and you find yourself growing more and more aware of Felix's presence beside you. You can feel the warmth of his touch, the steadiness of his breath, and the strength of his body as he practically carries you through the empty streets.

Finally, you reach your apartment building. Felix leads you up the stairs to your door, and you fish your keys out of your pocket with shaking hands. As you fumble with the lock, his hand covers yours, stilling your trembling fingers.

"Here," he says, taking the keys from you. "Let me help." He unlocks the door, and together, you stumble into your apartment.

The familiar surroundings of your home seem foreign in your inebriated state. You cling to Felix's arm as he guides you through the living room and into your bedroom.

He helps you sit on the edge of the bed, his hands gently settling on your shoulders. You look up at him, your eyes bleary and unfocused. Your body feels heavy and warm, and you have to fight the urge to lean forward and bury your face against his chest.

You look up at Felix, your vision hazy but your mind clear on one thing: you want him. The alcohol has eroded any inhibitions you had left, and all you can think about is the feeling of his body against yours.

It's as if he can read your thoughts. His eyes roam over your face, taking in the flush of your skin, the slightly parted lips. He takes a step closer, his body suddenly looming over yours.

He reaches down, his fingers brushing against the exposed skin of your neck. You gasp at the contact, feeling a shiver run down your spine. His touch is feather-light, but it sets your senses on fire.

He leans in, his lips hovering millimeters from yours. You can feel his breath on your face, warm and slightly tinged with alcohol. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, his voice low and rough.

Before you can respond, his lips are on yours, claiming your mouth with a possessive fervor. You melt against him, your hands reaching up to clutch at his shirt, pulling him closer until there's no space left between you.

He pushes you back onto the bed, his body covering yours as he continues to kiss you. Your hands roam over the planes of his back, feeling the muscles move beneath his clothes. He kisses down your neck, nipping softly at the sensitive skin, and your back arches off the bed in response.

His hands slide beneath your shirt, his touch scorching hot against your skin. He kisses down your torso, his lips caressing every inch of exposed flesh. You tangle your fingers in the sheets, your breathing coming in ragged gasps.

He continues his path down your body, his hands coming to rest at the waistband of your pants. He looks up at you, his eyes dark and filled with desire. "Can I?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. His hands pull at the fabric of your pants, and soon they're off, tossed aside and forgotten. His lips press kisses along your thighs, moving higher and higher until they reach the edge of your underwear.

His fingers hook into the elastic, and he begins to pull them down, agonizingly slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. You lift your hips, impatient, and he chuckles, the sound muffled against your skin.

He finally pulls them off, tossing them aside to join your pants on the floor. He looks at you, his eyes taking in every inch of your body, and he lets out a low whistle. "You're even more beautiful like this," he says, his hands sliding up your thighs.

He moves back up your body, his lips trailing kisses up your stomach, your chest, your neck, until his face is level with yours once more. His hand cups your cheek, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips.

He kisses you again, his tongue delving into your mouth, and you respond hungrily, your hands wrapping around his neck to hold him close. You can feel the hard length of him against your leg, and a jolt of desire shoots through you.

He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your ear. "I want you," he whispers, his voice low and gravelly.

His hand moves down your body, fingers tracing the curve of your hip, the softness of your stomach, until they find the heat between your legs. You gasp, your body arching into his touch, and he chuckles again, the sound sending shivers down your spine.

He slides a finger into you, his touch gentle but insistent, and you moan, your body tensing in response. He kisses your throat, his lips scorching hot against your skin. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, his free hand roaming over your body, worshipping every inch. "Perfect."

He adds another finger, curving them inside you, and your hips buck involuntarily. You can feel your body already growing unbearably tight, every nerve aflame with pleasure. He kisses along your collarbone, nipping at the sensitive skin there, and you can feel yourself losing control, your body arching off the bed. "Felix," you gasp, your hands tangling in his hair, "please."

He looks up at you, a sly smile on his lips. "Please what?" he asks, his fingers still moving inside you, slowly and torturously. "Use your words, baby."

You whimper, feeling yourself teetering on the edge of release. "Please," you gasp, "please, I need you. Now."

His smile widens, and he withdraws his fingers. You let out a strangled gasp, feeling suddenly empty and bereft. But he's not done with you yet. He positions himself above you, his hands holding your hips firmly as he looks down into your eyes.

"Are you ready for me?" he asks, his voice quiet and full of promises. You nod, your eyes wide and filled with desire. You lift your hips, silently pleading for him to take you, to fill the emptiness within you.

He obliges, sliding into you slowly, a low moan escaping his lips. You arch against him, your body stretching to accommodate his size. He holds still for a moment, his eyes locked on yours, before he begins to move.

His movements are slow and steady, his hips rolling against yours in a rhythmic motion that has you seeing stars. You clutch at his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin, and you feel yourself spiralling higher and higher.

He leans down, his lips finding your neck, and he kisses and nips at the sensitive skin there. "God, you feel so good," he says, his breath hot against your ear.

He increases his pace, his movements becoming jerky and uneven as he nears the edge. You can feel yourself clenching around him, your body tightening in anticipation. He captures your lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing your moans, and then he's shuddering against you, his body going rigid as he spills into you.

He collapses onto you, his body sagging against yours, both of you panting and shaking with the after-effects of pleasure. He lifts his head, a sly smile on his face.

"That was incredible," he says, his voice rough. He rolls to the side, pulling you with him so that you're resting against his chest. His arms encircle you, his body warm and comforting.

He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his gaze roaming over your flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw.

You nuzzle into his chest, feeling satisfied and sated. Exhaustion is slowly creeping into your bones, and you stifle a yawn against the bare skin of his chest.

He chuckles, the sound rumbling beneath your ear. "Tired?" he asks, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"Mmhm," you reply, your eyelids drooping with sleepiness. "We should probably get some rest." He pulls the covers up and over the both of you, cocooning you in a blanket of warmth.

You fall asleep with your head on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful sleep. As you descend into the sweet abyss of dreams, you feel his arms tighten around you, holding you close.

And for the first time in a long while, you sleep better than you have in months, your dreams filled with the memory of his touch, and the promise of something more.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦✦•······················•✦•·

I really hoped you liked it this was my first time writing smut so it’s probably not that good but I tried. my masterlist is here if you wanna check out more stories.

[cherish--these--times]

Important information. SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE. UPDATING AS I WATCH THE MOVIE ALONG BEAR WITH ME. The film they watched at the hotel is You've Got Mail, this is Sam and Rebecca's story. When they messaged each other not knowing who the other person was. Ted said Sleepless in Seattle was far superior. This is the one where airports play a significant part and it's about a man who lost his wife and has a son finding love again with the woman he never knew until the last second would be the one. He first sees her in an airport and is knocked sideways. By all accounts the last of Ted we will see will be in an airport based on previous seasons with first and last shot being a character’s face in the same location.

Also Rebecca mentioning she has a private jet and the thing with airports; SUSP AS HELL.

Keeley assumed the moment Rebecca spent with Dutch Guy was "Magic" This is also a quote from Sleepless in Seattle. Turns out it was Gezellig instead. But this is definitely where we're going. And that'll either be Dutch Guy or Ted. Both fit the man who lost their partner and have a kid formula. Definitely not Sam. But Ted tripped over the Red String of Fate, has the matchbook, loves Kenny Rogers, bakes the biscuits who are home to her, she carries his army man everywhere she goes. She hasn't been struck by lightning yet which to me means it's not Dutch Guy; Ted is leaving which means her world is about to be turned upside down. I keep the faith. i don't care.

AND there's a tear in Meg Ryan's wedding dress and she says oh no it's a sign to which her mum says "You don't believe in signs!" And Rebecca doesn't really believe in signs either! All the signs have been pointing to different people except the obvious one! They're there so she can see something about herself she completely missed.

FUCK MY LIFE. It's about making wishes!! Tom Hanks' son in the film wishes for his father to find a new wife!! His son is worried about his dad!!!

The psychiatrist on the radio is called Dr. Fieldstone FUUUUUUCK MEEEEE. IT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG.

Sam and Annie speak the same words at the same time in two different places, soulmatism right there!

Annie thought Sam sounded "Nice" on the radio and Ted is one of the "nicest" humans Rebecca has ever met!!

Quote from a guy : "This is fate, she's divorced and you need a new wife." (not talking about Annie here, it's another woman) "What is that thing when everything intersects?" To which Sam replies: "The Bermuda TRIANGLE."

One woman who writes to Sam after he was on the radio lives in OKLAHOMA!

Dr. Fieldstone tells Sam she can tell he is a good dad just like Beard told Ted!!

One woman says on the radio: "Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't love you?" (Michelle, anyone?)

"Sam, tell me what was so special about your wife?" "It was a million tiny little things then when you added them all up it just meant we were supposed to be together. I knew it the very first time I touched her it was like coming home, only to no home I had ever known!"

Annie asking a friend: "But when you met her (his wife), did you believe she was the only person for you? That in some mystical, cosmic way, it was fated?"

Sam's friend about relationships:

"Things are different, now. First, you have to be friends. You have to like each other."

Annie talks to her best friend about the concept of DESTINY.

Annie hires a private detective to run a background check on Sam!! Ted wanted Rebecca to do it with Dr. Jacob!

Wonderful addition by @doctorbeverlycrusher : Rebecca’s mom said a couple times that when she loves something, she loves it forever. The main song from Sleepless in Seattle, When I Fall in Love, starts with the lyric “When I fall in love, it will be forever”.

ANNIE MUNCHES ON SUNFLOWER SEEDS ON THE PLANE.

Sam's son to his dad: "Jessica says you and Annie never got together in that life, and your hearts are like puzzles with parts out of them and when you get together the puzzle's complete. The reason I know this and you don't is that I'm younger and purer so I'm more in touch with cosmic forces."

There's even a mention of Horticulture!

We spotted the word Rainbow in the pub game, the romcommunism episode was called Rainbow. Let me leave you with the quote from Ted again.

"Now, it may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does, but believe me, it will all work out. Exactly as it's supposed to."

I might be setting myself up for disappointment but the writers are building every step up to the cliff egde, baby!

Thank you for coming to my Ted Lasso Talk