#and want to sit at the bar while eddie and volt work and are just being nice and understanding about it?

[hazard-haze]

I have more Eddie and Volt headcanons. I can't stop thinking about them.

Mild TW for brief mentions of Self Hatred and Harassment. Nothing major or explicit but just thought it was worth a mention.

-----

-Their bar is incredible accessible. You cannot tell me they did not build that place with the comfort of any object or person with any level of accessibility needs in mind.

-Volt has given Eddie compression gloves. He doesn't wear em' (even though he should) but they are around here somewhere.

-Eddie's favorite color is orange.

-Ooooh we actually have some player ones this time, the homeowner is definitely welcome to hang out before opening and after closing (assuming the friendship or love ending)

-eventually they'd probably give them a key so, as Eddie puts it, they can "make themself useful by locking up for us" but in reality it's just so they can get in even when the 2 are in the back.

-They have all the fixings in the back or at the bar for injuries/disabilities/emergencies. Including but not limited to epi-pens, narcan, good first aid kits, juice/snacks for blood sugar, a fold up wheel chair, free earplugs/noise cancelling headphones, and cots.

-Homeowner will not be served alcohol if Eddie thinks something is up with them. Or at least they will be cut off before they can even get tipsy. Bro is not letting them drown and ignore their problems, usually Volt will end up doing most of the talking to them about whatever is bothering them.

-It's kind of obvious but the hallway closet is very much the hub of the upstairs. And honestly? Most objects hold Eddie and Volt to the same level of respect that they do the mayor, neither of them really realize it but they are pretty integral to the community

-Not a headcanon but I just thought of the funniest shit: Breaker Box Hallmark Movie AU. Featuring the Breaker Box getting shutdown for some reason and through the power of winter holiday magic and love probably it is saved lol. Would anyone read this?

-Eddie inadvertently gets so much tea working the bar. Bathsheba has been begging him to give her some gossip. Eddie refuses every single time.

-Volt cries when he see's cute animal/inanimal videos

-If they got a cat people would assume its name is like Sparky or something but no, Volt is gonna want to name it something really pretty like Eleanor or Anastasia, and Eddie is gonna take one look at it and go: "Uhhhh... Todd." "Eddie she's a girl." "So? Girls can be named Todd!" "..." "Stop assuming our cat's gender Volt!"

-I don't know if he actually would in canon, but I think it would be so fucking funny if Volt just loved calling minor inconveniences homophobic. This includes Eddie. Eddie won't stop working? "Eddie if you don't go to bed your homophobic!" "Wha? I'm ga-!" "HOMOPHOBIA!"

-Self deprecation? In my breaker box? I think not! And by that I mean Volt holds the very strong conviction that no one in his club is allowed to be self hating except for him. I mean he is a flirt, but he is also a sweetheart. He see's someone crying? Absolutely not. Gives you a tissue, tells you your too hot to be crying over anyone and then reapplies your mascara for you.

-Eddie does not play when it comes to patron safety. He will cut you off if he thinks you've drank too much. He is making sure everyone leaving at the end of the night has a designated driver (I don't know if any of them NEED designated drivers seeing as they all live in a house, but its the principal okay?). Harassment of any kind you are gone and banned so fast you won't even know what happened.

----

God this hyperfixation hit me like a truck.

I noticed most of these ones focused more on how they actually run the club. Idk why it just kind of ended up like that. Anyways I'm having so much fun with these let me know if ya'll want more or if anyone has specific hc requests because I CAN cook up more! Hope you enjoyed!

[tadasfics]

date everything headcanons part 1

really don't know what I'm doing, anyways request fanfic and I'll get around to it! (One day..) I will do

Oneshots

Long ass fanfics

Smut

Headcanons

Sorry this took me so long, I have been on my date everything grid lately, if yall want 3-6way headcanons for couples like Washford and Drysdale or The hanks hmu Anyways smut in next post

Sfw

Volt

He seems Like he loves to drape his clothes over you to show that he bagged you. During a night at the club after saying some things to the crowd he will go over and drape his jacket over your shoulders especially when the bar is cold that night from the ac.

You paint his nails, he gives you the nail polish and gives the excuse he likes it the most when you do it but its really his excuse to have your hands on his hands.

He loves to show you off all the time, pda after a while will be mandatory, he will walk up behind your seat at the club and just give you soft affectionate kisses on your neck and run his hands down your waist

He loves your body warmth against his. He seems like he will pout if you pull away in your sleep but he will hold you close to his chest while the two of you sleep He lives for your praise, if something doesn't wow you he will make sure to go above and beyond.

Eddie

He enjoys silent moments between you two, if you're sitting At the bar on a mainly empty night he will make you a drink and just stand near you, maybe even humming softly.

He tends to get upset easily with people who ask you OR him excessive questions, he feels the pressure even if it's you. He will snap back at anyone who pressures you into answering questions

Eddie finds nights where it's just the two of you the best. He puts an arm around you and holds you close but not tightly unless something is wrong. He gives you head kisses while you two are relaxing

He makes drinks Inspired off of you but you and him are the only ones that can have themWhen he is out of work he loves to stay in and watch shitty movies he doesn't pay attention too. He falls asleep mid way through while petting your hair.

Chance

once got told he talked about tabletop games (DND/GNG) too much and even if it was once it still made him think every time he talked to anyone he was talking too much about it. So he tried to find other things that interested him but nothing really stole his interest like those games did. And whenever he talks to that person who says he talks about those games too much he lets them carry the conversation because his biggest fear is ever being that much of an issue to where they need to point it out to him again.

Whenever he is asked about his interest he lights up and you swear you can even see the light in his eyes get brighter. He will tell you everything you need to know and then some.

He needs constant reassurance, he doesn't get Jealous but he gets this doubt in the back of his mind always telling him off He tends to share pain, like you're upset he will take your pain on as his own and it completely bothers him because You're important to him. so He never wants you to feel any kind of pain

He loves pda, he needs you by his side at all times. He holds your hand a lot in public and loves when you lead him around your favorite stores. It gives him ideas on what you like and what he can get you to make you happy

Parker

He understands sometimes getting to sleep can be hard when your mind is racing so fast so if you're ever anxious or feeling stressed at around bedtime he reads you a rule book but he doesn't get too upset if you fall asleep in the middle of his “spectacular reading” As he calls it. He will just act like it bothered him just to get a rise out of you.

He likes to take you to museums and treat the whole layout of the museum like a board game, like as if you have to follow a specific route to get out. And every time you two get to the exit he says “we won!”

he claps when the plane lands. And I don't mean just a small little clap he is putting a round of applause together and letting out one of those loud whistles.

He sleep talks The most random things. In the middle of the night you will hear him say “don't throw the peanut butter at my spouse, you'll get them clean” and if you question it he calls you delusional.

If you ever had an argument he made you you two played a game and that's how you decided if you made up

Dorian

He tends to enjoy silent moments with you, watching a new movie on TV while Leaning Against each other, silent drives in the dark. all of it feels so intimate while being somethings two people who are friends and lovers can enjoy He likes to know that you two can just be your own people while in a relationship and

finds overly clinginess as a red Flag. He likes the “don’t go” or you holding onto a shirt of his until he returns, but if you stalk his location and pry out details that seem intrusive he will end things viewing it as toxic.

He is not a fan of PDA but he will always have a hand on you if someone gets too close incase something happens where you two need to run. He is aware that anything can happen at any time.

He just wants to make you feel safeHe holds doors open for you, one bc he is a gentlemen, two bc he wants you to glance over at him and smile like how you normally do when someone opens a door for you, this man lives for your smile.

He is the type of man to claim “I don't dance” at a formal event before wiping you off your feet with his ballroom style dancing.

He likes the titanic (idk just seemed very… dorian)

Please don't repost/translate! Og work by Tadasfics on Tumblr!

[siriannatan]

Sunday Update Time

Heroes of Empires City Chapter 3

Sausage sighed staring at the ceiling of the nice cosy apartment he shared with his lovely boyfriend Pix. He was off hero duty for the next couple of days while he recovered from Friday's fight with Electron. He was quite lucky Major got to him as fast as he could when he requested backup or he'd probably be out for even longer. Not being able to heal himself was... a rather sizeable inconvenience at times. At best it left him, like today, feeling rather bored. 

Pix was at work this particular Saturday. Eddie, his adoptive dad was doing stuff around the bar. Apparently, there was going to be a concert by some indie band tonight. Sausage was planning to have a nice, homemade dinner with Pix and have a nice evening at home. A very solid plan in his opinion but... there were still many hours before he even had to start cooking. With a sigh, he thought about what he could do while recovering from having many volts of electricity slammed into him repeatedly.

Jinn & Other Troubles Chapter 4

fWhip was not a big fan of fall. There were many reasons. The Harvest Goddess Festival to goddess Peril filled the already crowded city with truly obnoxious amounts of people. People who probably never have been in a bigger city in their life and didn't know to stay away from his copper bracelets and bothered him. And walked into the Vigil thinking it was just a normal bar even with the closed sign on the door.

The second thing was also to do with the crowds. All the wannabe upstart criminals thought it was a perfect time to make their great break. That meant Pix's power was challenged a lot. And that Jimmy had to be watched a bit closer and absolutely not allowed to leave the Vigil without either Pix of fWhip. fWhip did not mind Jimmy accompanying him for errands or even sitting around the bar when Pix was a bit too busy to pay enough attention to his favourite elf. fWhip minded having to explain over and over again that Jimmy was the boss' favourite to all the new hires. Adventurers they hired to get certain things done. An absolute suicidal maniac who wanted to be dragged to the torture basement and die in a lot of pain. fWhip did not mind that part, torture was one of his top hobbies and things he was in charge of.

[rwbyconversations]

The Scarlet Letter: Let’s talk about RWBY’s male LGBT rep

I have been sitting on this post for nearly four weeks waiting until the 15th due to the Before the Dawn spoiler rules.

So let's start with a blunt statement: RWBY's male LGBT representation has not been good. If the series' handling of female LGBT rep is good (which... well there's worse shows) and the general standard for how you write LGBT characters in a show like this, its handling of male rep has been... how not to. And Before the Dawn kinda solidified the idea in my head that the show's handling of its male LGBT cast just isn't good enough, either by the standards of when RWBY began in 2013, or today in 2020 when compatively massive steps have been taken over the past decade to show a more diverse list of characters... or at least a more diverse list of female characters.

I don't wanna make this a pissing match over how over-or-under-represented male or female LGBT characters are, but I feel like it's safe to say that the majority of the trend-setters for modern romances, especially in western animation, have been between women. Korra and Asami from Korra, Chloe and Max from Life is Strange, Marceline and Bubblegum in Adventure Time, (insert the relevant Steven Universe characters here, never watched it), and more recently, Adora and Catra in She-Ra and Luz in Owl House.

Compatively, while studies have shown that in general male LGBT characters get more appearances on a purely numerical level, in general they're more one-off characters there to pad a roster, or played more for comedy (see Josh Gad in the Beauty and the Beast remake or the gay guy in Avengers Endgame that was more notable for how hard China and Russia snapped him out of existance). The only big male-LGBT focused media I can think of from the last decade would be Yuri On Ice, Moonlight, IDW's Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye (Chromedome/Rewind best pairing fuck you Roberts for issue 16) Love Simon, and the anime adaptation of Banana Fish.

So it's no surprise that RWBY basically follows these ideas. It's big romance is (unless the writers are very stupid) going to be between Blake and Yang, their first out character was Ilia, Coco got sent to the Book Dimension where she confirmed "I use my sunglasses to perv on women without their knowledge" which uh... yeah you can definitely tell RWBY is written by men... and Volume 6 had Saph and Terra being a good example of an LGBT couple without any real drama. In the last three years alone, the show has drastically increased its lesbian and bisexual characters, alongside even including its first out trans character in May Marigold (albeit only revealed on Twitter). In general, these depictions of sexuality have been pretty OK. Would have liked it if Ilia wasn't immediately written out of the show after Volume 5 as it made her feel a bit more disposable than intended but whatever, subject for another day.

RWBY's male rep though is a bit spottier. There's the plant bois in Volume 5's premiere, we nearly had Pilot Boi until some last-minute revisions, and... Scarlet.

Why Scarlet's a bad launchpad for male LGBT rep

I don't like Scarlet or how his sexuality has been handled. Scarlet's homosexuality wasn't revealed in the show, or by the writers, or even in anything that's actually canon. He's confirmed gay in his sole of dialogue in a non-canon fan anthology, where the manga's Twitter team had to say that Miles suggested the idea and approved of it.

In short, Scarlet is Dumbledore'd, where his sexuality is revealed in out-of-show material and in a way that doesn't make it supremely obvious (Miles himself never commented to confirm this so this news was limited in how far it could spread. I'm genuinely curious how many people still don't know Scarlet's gay), and Scarlet himself is a nothing character who was written out of the show after Volume 3 and only reappeared in Before The Dawn, half a decade after he vanished. Compared to Ilia, as this came out after Ilia's entire arc in Volume 5, it's not a great starting point for mlm rep. But things would have been forgiven if it had gotten better, if the show did have more male LGBT characters introduced, even just on the Saphron/Terra level of just being around for a few episodes before leaving. Then it would have been a misfire but then we could all say "Things got better."

It... didn't. Which is why when Before the Dawn released in 2020, a full two years after Scarlet was first confirmed gay, while the franchise had more than doubled its wlw rep, Scarlet remained the one male character in the entire franchise who had a name and liked men. I remember vividly a fake leak for After The Fall which claimed Yatsuhashi would come out to Velvet and admit to having a crush on Fox. And I remember as well how many people were disappointed when it was said to be false, because it would have been nice for Yatsuhashi's character, especially after the fleshing out he gets in the CFVY books. If Yatsu had come out as gay in the books I'd like his writing enough to say he's a good case for rep, albeit with the caveat of "This is all in side material." But in reality, the leak was fake and Coco was confirmed gay instead.

Unfortunately, Before the Dawn proceeded to ruin Scarlet and made me at times feel genuinely uncomfortable as a queer man! Let's talk about that.

Before The Dawn is crap and Scarlet's writing is borderline offensive

I hate Before the Dawn. It's... bad. I read it while on a vacation and the only solace I had about the entire thing was that I'd bought an M&M chocolate bar. The bar was finished before the book. That bummed me out. It's not a very well written book, the prose is very Early 2010s YA Writer, none of the characters are memorable and there's various Fun Incidents like "NGDO using children as bait for Grimm," and "Neptune's hydrophpobia being used as a threat to torture him and the scene is played for comedy."

Theo was cool. I can't wait to see him as written by good writers, he should be a highlight of the Vacuo arc.

I had two hopes for Before the Dawn- "Don't be bad," and "Let Scarlet and Sage be well written." I'd liked how After The Fall had handled some of its characters (barring, y'know, Coco perving on women), especially Fox and Yatsu who were surprising in how much I liked them. I was looking forward to seeing Myers give Sage and Scarlet similar treatment- two relatively nothing characters meant he'd have a blank slate to write them however he wanted, he could give them unique personalties and if nothing else it could be cool to see their Semblances.

And then I read the book. (Sage fans I am so sorry for you, you got baited harder than Johnlock fans)

Scarlet's a giant dickhead in the book. It's his sole character trait and his inner monologues go on, and on, and on about how much he hates Sun, how he revels in mocking him. Most of his dialogue is sarcastic put-downs about Sun and how lame he is, and Sun is never properly allowed to defend himself or point out how going with Blake meant he was able to help save Haven Academy.

(hey remember when Sun in Volume 6 expressly says to Blake "I was a bad leader for ditching Neptune and the others, and I need to work on that" only for Before the Dawn to have him staunchly refuse to accept that he let the team down? I don't think Myers did but I do)

Scarlet being a ratty bitch would be one thing if, again, the franchise had done more rep. He'd still be a badly written character, but it wouldn't sting as much. But because Scarlet is still the only expressly confirmed male LGBT character in canon (the book teases that Nolan is gay but there's never confirmation either way beyond him smiling at Scarlet), it means that he has to represent that entire ideal. So when the one gay man in Remnant is being an asshole and a snide loser, that means that by extension, this is how the franchise sees gay men. And that fucking sucks! I wanted to come out of Before The Dawn singing its praises, I wanted to like the book, but it was a massive letdown, especially coming off of the other big 2020 RWBY controversy involving gay characters.

Yeah. We're doing this.

Clover and Fair Game: Technically not queerbaiting. BUT:

Let's pre-empt this: Clover wasn't queerbaiting, and Fair Game, while cool and I dig it, kudos to them for becoming one of the top 5 RWBY pairings on AO3 in one year that's fucking impressive (I say with mild malice as an IronQrow main), never had a chance. The writing never seriously boosted it barring one interaction which was flirty (them talking in the lobby of the Schnee Manor), and everything else was out of show boosting through the social media teams and CRWBY hyping it themselves by saying they liked it. If you wanna blame people, blame the animators who went off-script with stuff like Kim Newman adding the wink as a deliberate nod to the Volume 4 waitress, or the social media team deliberately using the same policies for Fair Game as they do for Renora and Bumblebee.

It wasn't Eddy's fault that things escalated, and he himself has said that in retrospect, he should have warned people that this never had a shot.

But I can't blame the Fair Game fanbase. Because Fair Game took off like wildfire. It came right as the fanbase began seriously asking for more male rep, Qrow's pretty hot, and the Clover wink came right after the Great IronQrow Reawakening of November 9th, 2019. The rocket was primed, and they rode it to the moon. Finally, to these people, after seven years RWBY seemed to be doing something with mlm rep in show. People started getting into RWBY just for Clover and Qrow's interactions. And if heroes were boring, Watts and Tyrian also had a fantastic dynamic that made Nuts and Volts one of the more popular villain ships overnight. Things seemed to be turning around! RWBY was remembering that gay men existed! You could hear the choir sing!

... And for those people, that meant that episode 12 hit like Truck-Kun.

People got pissed. People were horrified. And it didn't help that some members of CRWBY had said in the build-up that episode 12 would have some shots that made them nauseous (probably the Tyrian thumb thing) Out of context, it looked to these fans like CRWBY were basically laughing at their suffering, like they were saying "Lol, you thought you had a chance, get fucked, I hope your vomit burns on the way up."

Yeah, Fair Game was never gonna be canon, and I think some people ran too far with it. But in the wider context of how desperate RWBY's mlm community had gotten for basic crumbs of content? I can see why they'd run with what they had. The writers aren't at fault for what happened, but CRWBY didn't help matters. And that desperate mix of what felt like official backing from the crew, jokes about how cute the ship was, and the hope that finally the show would have onscreen rep? I can see why people ran with it.

So why is the show more lackluster in depicting mlm characters?

Money. Let's be honest, most RWBY fans don't care if the show doesn't have good male rep. I'm willing to bet some of you reading this won't care and just dismiss it as not being that big a problem. I don't think the writers care if the show doesn't have good mlm rep because they're not poaching that market. They're after what they see as a bigger, more lucrative market, which in this case is female LGBT rep. That gets people buying games, watching shows, raising awareness and boosting awareness of your property, which means you make more money. In short: Two women kissing hits more markets and generates more attention than two men.

Am I saying that Miles, Monty and Kerry deliberately sat down seven years ago and said "We're not doing gay men because it won't generate enough ad revenue and traffic to be worth the loss in revenue from homophobes?" No, that's silly. But I'm saying that it's less important for them, and it shows in the things that are small and add up. Things like Miles not verifying Scarlet's sexuality or retweeting the manga account's confirmation to spread the message (compared to how he enthusiastically confirmed Ilia being a lesbian himself during the Reddit AMA). It shows in how Pilot Boi would have been the first mlm character only to die in his second full episode until M&K were told about the Bury Your Gays trope. It shows in how Shannon believes that Ozma is "megaqueer" and Miles jokingly laughs it off instead of confirming it, leaving it to just be Shannon's headcanon. It shows in how actor shipping is compared between the mlm and wlw ships, where Arryn and Barbara's frequent pushes for Bumblebee are seen as "official confirmation that it's endgame" while Michael and Kerry saying they enjoy Seamonkeys is treated as "well it would be cute if they did it, but they're never going to."

I'm not gonna say anything like "CRWBY are gonna have Qrow end up with a woman like Robyn out of spite against the bad apples of the Fair Game crowd." I'm not gonna say that I don't think CRWBY cares about male representation in the series. It is, however, definitely a low priority for them, and because that leads to gaffes like Scarlet's writing in Before The Dawn being offensive in his depiction, it only makes the contrast between the sexes all the more painfully apparent.

I'm kinda tired of waiting for Rooster Teeth to show that they do care about mlm. I'm kinda tired of RWBY's male rep being written like it came from a 1993 time capsule where I have to enhance the screen to see a guy holding a sign of Sun's abs or be content with the only onscreen rep still being the plant bois in Volume 5. I'm tired of how often the crew dances around answering basic questions about sexuality (and age, and birthdays, and heights, and so on) by treating it as a spoiler question, as if just wanting to know what way people swing would ever be a spoiler. I'm just... tired of all this. When the best mlm rep in Rooster Teeth's history remains the two dads in Camp Camp who show up in a few episodes, that should say something really bad about your company and your biases (To say nothing of the recent Red vs Blue seasons and their blatant queerbaiting for Grif and Simmons and the whole can of worms that is Donut).

I'd like to not feel like I'm borderline unwelcome because I'd like to see two men in this show kiss, and that the sole thing that represents people like me in this show is some British twat who complains about sand.

I'd just like to feel like my sexuality isn't a joke to Rooster Teeth (or at the very least, be like Donut and have it be a funny one). But at this point after the last few years? I feel like a very uncomfortable punchline to them. And it just sucks.

[fleetwoodmoth]

The Fallen Star

V confides in her friend at The Fallen Star

I do have a TRIGGER WARNING for attempted assault and gore for this chapter, I have put a break in to signal where to stop reading if you would like to skip this scene. I will have a brief note at the end of the chapter of the basic rundown so you can continue to the next chapter without having to read the scene itself. Enjoy! 

The neon pink and blue lights of the bar were turned to a low glow behind Wish as she skated up to Vesper with her drink in her neon light up laser skates. The Falling Star was basically dead that night seeing as it was a Wednesday at 10pm in the middle of a Night City summer, the perfect atmosphere for Vesper’s hangover.

“You look troubled sis,” Wish said in her neo-Beverly Hills accent.

Wish was three inches shorter than Vesper’s 5’6” but the skates she wore at least made her look old enough to work at a bar. She had soft tan skin and thick wavy hair from her Filipino heritage, which was currently pinned up above her head in a high ponytail. Vesper liked Wish, she was smart, pretty, and most of all she was the one who welcomed Vesper back into Heywood when she moved home at eighteen.

“Hangover,” Vesper said, voice rough from smoking a joint before coming inside.

“That’s not it baby, there’s something else, you’ve been chewing at your lip for ten minutes now.”

Wish rolled her hips back until she was leaning her elbows on the bar “you meet someone?”

“I meet 'someones' everyday, you know that,” Vesper said with a smirk, despite knowing that Wish now knew she was on the right track, an implied confession.

“So, where’d you meet? What’s their name?” She prodded, rolling front to back on her skates as she did.

“Therein lies the problem,” Vesper said as she shot back the rum. Rum, the brand Jackie and I drink.

“Oh no sis, they’re a client?”

Vesper tapped the shot glass on the bar and pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Baby you’ve done that once before and you know how it turned out.”

Ouch, Vesper thought, but she knew Wish wasn’t being cruel, just right.

“I know, I know. He’s… He treats me like…”

“Like a girlfriend?” Wish finished for Vesper.

“No! God no. I mean—the other day he hired me to have dinner with him. We did a braindance together.”

“Fuck, that’s couple shit sis.”

Vesper laughed, if watching a movie and having dinner together was ‘couple shit’ then Vesper was in way more relationships than she realized.

“Laugh now, you’ve seen him, what? Four times? Give it one more week and you’re going to be debating on leaving a toothbrush at his house.”

Wish skated away to get Vesper another shot, letting her stew on Wish’s words. To be fair Wish was usually right about these kinds of things, she had been right last time too, but last time Vesper was only 20 and too naïve to realize some men just like hurting women for fun. Honestly some would call her lucky, her parents died before she really had any memories of how her father and mother got along, and her aunt was gay and single while raising her.

As if the devil thought she hadn’t reminisced enough she felt a hand on her lower back, as a shadow settled beside her. Vesper straightened from where she had slouched onto the bar with a start, turning to see a tall brunette with neon blue eyes and smooth mod integration, the sign of a rich kid.

“I’ll pay for the next round he said, flashing a bright white smile that nearly hurt Vesper’s eyes in the glow of the neon lights.

“Thanks,” Vesper said with a smirk, softening her voice.

He relaxed beside her, leaning back on an elbow as Wish returned with Vesper’s refill and he flipped the eddie chip to Wish without even looking at her. Vesper met Wish’s eyes which she rolled before skating to help another customer.

“You from around here?” He asked, giving her a long once over which made her skin crawl.

“Yeah, something like that,” she said, smiling before taking her shot.

“Nice, I was wondering if you’d maybe show me around a little,” he said with a wink.

She felt his fingertips at her arm and she looked down to where he was holding out an eddie chip.

She smiled politely, twirling her hair in one hand “Oh thank you baby, but I’m off duty,” she slid the chip back towards him.

She turned back to the bar, waving Wish over, she could nearly feel the heat from the man’s scowl against the side of her head.

“What can I get you,” Wish asked.

“Get my friend anything he wants, put it on my tab,” Vesper said before turning and heading to the women’s bathroom.

Vesper splashed her face with water trying to shock her system back into reality from where she was spinning out in space. She shouldn’t have gotten that cross faded so early, but at the very least it dulled how the lighting made her head throb. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to figure out how she had let it get this bad. It had been two days since Jackie had called her over for dinner and she hadn’t stopped thinking about how safe she felt with him, something that felt thrilling and terrifying at the same damn time. Once he runs out of eddies he’ll stop calling, she thought.

She rolled her neck before straightening herself in the mirror, she needed to pull herself together. She exited the bathroom and returned to her spot at the bar, Wish coming over with a sly smile on her face.

“What?” Vesper asked.

“That guy totally hated that you bought him a drink,” she laughed “he refused the drink and left.”

Vesper rolled her eyes and shook her head, Jackie wasn’t like that was he? How would she even know? She had only seen him for sex and some dinner, she barely knew him, it was a childhood crush, it didn’t mean anything.

“Can I have a water before I go,” Vesper asked and Wish nodded, going to fetch her a glass.

Vesper spent the next half hour nursing her water until she felt stable enough to walk herself home.

“I’ll see you later Wish,” she said as she shrugged on her clear jacket and stepped out into the night.

The summer heat drove most people outdoors only after the sun had dipped behind the horizon, and Heywood was abuzz with people on their back porches and in their front yards, gathered on building stoops and huddled together on the street corner. She let the night breeze play across her face, her cerulean hair twisting in the wind. She noticed as she neared the corner that she wasn’t that far from Jackie’s place, and as much as she tried she couldn’t help the rush of excitement she got when thinking of the possibility that she may get to see him again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She let herself smile, it was the last thing she could remember before the world was dark and her head was throbbing like she had been hit over the head with a brick. She twisted, her tender scalp scraping against the cement floor and making her hiss out in pain. Above her she saw a dark shape, barely visible against the mirky haze of the Night City sky.

“Dumb whore,” she heard from somewhere far away.

As she started to orient herself she felt the squeeze of a hand around her throat and her body kicked into overdrive. She sprang to life in the man’s grasp, trying to scream, trying to breathe, but all that came out of her mouth were desperate gasps. She began to claw at him, only for him to raise her slightly and slam her back into the pavement, the world twisted again and she felt like she was going to vomit.

“They said Heywood chicks were easy, you thought you could say no to me?”

Her arms fell to her sides as she felt around for something, anything when something smooth and cool brushed her fingers. She reached, eyes watering too much to see anything anymore, and finally she grasped the neck of a discarded beer bottle. She cracked it against the ground, before swiping blindly above her, hitting something in her panic, she repeated the action again and again before finally the hands around her throat released and she gulped down a lungful of air. She felt like there was a boulder on her chest as she writhed and slowly felt the blood rush back to her head. When she could feel her hands again she felt around, only to find a head of hair planted in her chest. She screamed, or at least attempted to, the sound like air from a popped tire escaping her throat as she tried to push herself out from under the weight.

When her feet were finally free she crawled forward on her forearms, wiping blindly at her face when she could, trying to stop her eyes from stinging. Once she could see she turned back onto her hip, sitting up and staring into the darkness of the alleyway she had been dragged into. The man had been the one from before, she recognized the light blue of his sports jacket, but in this light it wasn’t just blue, something dark and black splattered and soaked the silk. She pushed herself up onto her feet, her body shaking like she had a fever, her jaw chattering uncontrollably as she backed into the light of the street.

Her jacket flashed in the light and something caught her attention. First was the undeniable taste of copper in her mouth, the second was the deep crimson of blood against the plastic fabric. Her breath caught in her throat as her heart began to pound loudly in her head. It felt everything had become too much, she wondered if her optical mods had misfired, if the hit she must have taken to the head shorted something in her circuitry. She felt her feet begin to move, she felt herself begin to process her surroundings like she was watching through a glass window. Cross the street, past the tow yard, second grey complex on the left, up the stairs, first door on the right.

She didn’t even hear herself knock, she barely even heard the click of the lock and the slight swoosh of the door sliding open.

“Volt?”

She jumped, looking up into Jackie’s dark brown eyes which were set beneath a furrowed brow.

“I—“ she didn’t know what to say, how to even start explaining, she didn’t even know how she really had gotten there.

“Joder, jaina what happened to you?” He had let the door slide all the way open as he took her face in his warm hands, which nearly forced her soul back into her body.

She opened her mouth, taking in a lungful of air, trying to find the right words, but when she went to speak all that came out was more air.

“Come here,” he said softly, pulling her into his apartment, a braindance wreath laying on his bed, she had clearly caught him while he was relaxing for the night. How rude of me, she thought.

The door shut and she heard the lock click, and she released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“Volt, please, answer me.” She hadn’t realized she had zoned out again until she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“I-I’m sorry what?” She asked.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he said “I just asked, who did this to you?”

NOTE:  On her walk home Vesper is attacked, she kills her attacker and autopilot walks to Jackie's apartment, that's all you really missed!

[racingtoaredlight]

Marshall Amps

This is Slayer’s backdrop for some recent tour of theirs.

If you’ve followed rock music at all, the “wall of Marshalls” is so iconic, it’s hard to separate the subject of the imagery from the backdrop of Marshall speakers.  Jimmy Page, Slash, Zakk Wylde, Eric Clapton...to name a few...but the man who made Marshalls the “greatest amps of all time” is none other than you know who...

So what is it with Marshalls?  Why did they become the “greatest amps of all time” yet seemingly don’t have a place in today’s guitar world?

***

What defines Marshall amps?

They have “Marshall” written on them.

Kidding aside, you will never hear about Marshall amps being called “versatile.”  “Clean” is something they do out of necessity, not design.  They are stupidly heavy.  They are a pain in the ass to maintain.  They only sound good at volumes that would peel the enamel off your teeth...and that’s just the 50w models, let alone the big boys.

Marshall amps really do one thing well...overdrive.  If you’re in a band that plays loud, plays dirty and plays aggressive, then Marshalls are likely right in your wheelhouse.  Bonus points if someone else is carrying your gear.

Any level of dirt...from bluesy hair on the note to full out metal grind...a Marshall is right at home.  When you overdrive the tubes in a Marshall and they start to produce those beautiful overtones and harmonics, it’s truly a sound of beauty that prickles the hair on the back of your neck.

***

Historical Context Part 1

To define Marshall amps, we need to start with their history.

Remember how when I used to actually write, I’d talk about putting things in historical context?  Lets go back to the early 60′s.  There is ONE amp company doing business on both sides of the Atlantic, Fender.  And, despite being primitive and archaic, those early Tweed Fender amps are still today some of the best sounding amps money can buy, which is even more impressive considering that a 10 year old who can use a soldering iron could build one.

But in America, it’s easy to source parts for an American company’s amp like Fender.  It’s right there in the country, stupid.  But for a company...shit, that’s not even accurate given they weren’t a company yet...for a Brit like Jim Marshall, you had to get creative.

Marshalls, at their very, foundational core, are almost a direct plagiarism of the Fender Bassman amp.  I mean, it’s exactly the same amplifier except for one key difference...the tubes.  The Atlantic Ocean thing mentioned earlier is a big deal...the 6v6 and 6L6 power tubes that Leo Fender used, nothing more than run of the mill military-spec electrical tubes, weren’t available.  Tubes might not be the lifeblood of an amp (the circuit is), but different tubes have a hugely variable presence in practical settings.

Given that most tube amps are powered by tubes that came from either the US, UK or Russian military industrial complexes...and there not being the internet or a secondary market for any of this shit...Marshall used, first, KT66 Russian tubes, and later British EL34 (big bottles) and EL84 (little bottles), depending on use.

As Marshall’s blew up (and it happened quickly), and musicians started playing bigger and bigger halls, Marshall took that Bassman ripoff and housed it in larger cabinets allowing him to add more tubes, and therefore, more power.  It was the perfect storm...

***

Historical Context Part II...the important stuff

So I linked to a bunch of pics above...famous dudes standing in front of walls of Marshalls.  The one I really want to hit on is the Eric Clapton one...

I just mentioned this a couple paragraphs above, but it bears repeating...there was no secondary market for things like tubes, caps, speakers, etc.  That pic of Clapton?  In each of those cabinets housing four speakers, maybe one was fully operational with half of another adding a bunch of fizz.  During Cream’s final show at Royal Albert Hall, he had only one speaker installed in the entire cabinet...the rest were just empty.

Now, that’s not to say there wasn’t any sonic benefit from having cabinets project sound waves with four speakers.  Rather, if one went down, at least you could still play.

Which leads us to the important stuff...

Primitive PA systems were not only garbage to begin with, but they were typically operated by burnouts who didn’t have the first clue of how to properly EQ a room.  This was true as late as the mid 80′s.  As shitty as those PA systems were though, guess what?  That’s still how Cream’s sound got shot through Royal Albert Hall.

Given the choice though, guitarists would rather have a slew of speakers doing the work rather than mic’ing up smaller amps.  Even with this option though, there’s a long history of...behind those walls of Marshall speaker cabs...there being a single half stack with just one speaker being mic’d.

Here’s a dirty little secret...Eddie Van Halen has not just endorsed multiple amps from multiple companies, but been heavily involved in the design of a lot of those as well.  BUT, when you hear him in the studio or live, you’re not hearing any of those amps...you’re hearing this.

Despite all the noise and propaganda regarding Van Halen’s wizardry with guitar and amp parts, the sound he’s most famous for and has relied on his entire career is produced by a relatively stock Marshall 1959SLP, known as the Super Lead.  The “Brown Tone” he’s famous for isn’t due to anything special in the amp itself, rather using something called the Variax to run the 100w amp at 90w, thereby making it warmer and more efficient (Marshall’s imported to the US still made to run at 110 volts despite most American outlets being 120 volts...the Variax reduced the electrical load to the amp, while also being an accidental signal buffer, allowing him to use time-based effects like flangers and delays, where running them into the front of a Marshall would cancel out those signals).

Jesus Christ that was a long aside...there was a point here though.

***

What was that point?

When PA systems and quality mic’s and sound guys became the norm, the necessity for stacks of Marshalls really started to go to shit.  Even before the internet boom, the jokes about wannabes hauling Marshall half stacks to tiny bars with no audience were already essentially canon.

I said this above...unless you are a touring artist in a hard rock band with logistical support and no front of house...Marshalls are completely impractical.  We’re not even going to touch on declines in quality (new Marshalls built on PCB have more in common with your phone than a 1987x, even if you buy a “reissue” of a 1987x), questionable marketing and oversaturating their own market...the fact of the matter is extremely simple.  Big iron is obsolete, no matter who makes it.

Marshall themselves know this, and released the “studio” line...which might as well be called the “shit we better make smaller stuff because our sales are getting FUCKED” line.  If you’ve ever had to pack a car full of gear yourself, it takes one gig before you’re looking for smaller, lighter amps.  Those 100w Marshalls?  They sound AMAZING cranked.

But unless you play them cranked, they sound like shit.  Think about it like driving a Ferrari at 25mph all the time...

For regular working musicians like myself, a great sounding tube combo can be found under 50 lbs.  Or I could ditch all that and go with a modeler, go straight into the PA and never need an amp again (PREDICTION...you will not see amplifiers on stage outside of Nashville and niche acts in 10 years).  That’s for a working musician.

For a touring musician, you can save tens of thousands of dollars per year by not having to hire logistical staff.  You might have scoffed at my prediction above...but these days, the majority of guitar sounds you hear are made digitally by a session guitarist sitting either at home or in the control room of a studio.  That 1987x is a digital patch rather than two trips to the car and ringing ears.

Point being...amps are already obsolete.  And if your amp weighs more than 50 lbs. and has more power than say 40w, it’s remarkably obsolete, no matter how cool it is.

***

Competition

I don’t have to tell you that Marshalls’ legacy was formed in the harder forms of rock.  Take one look at those monsters and you can tell they roar.  “Roar” is an interesting concept though...

Marshalls were made before hard rock really existed.  Guitarists almost ubiquitously came from a “clean” learning point, and even what we consider small amounts of dirt like this (and during the instrumental part of Ramblin’ Man) back then were FULL-THROATED.

Personally, that’s my ideal of the Marshall sound.  That Tweedy breakup that puts a shaggy head of hair on each note.  But to just about 90% of the music-enjoying public, this is the sound that immediately comes to mind when you think of Marshalls.

Definitely more dirty than Duane Allman’s version no doubt, but if you really listen to the guitar, the edge is more due to phrasing and Slash’s ballsy attitude than the guitar tone itself.  It’s still something I’d describe as more crunchy than full on distorted.

Which brings us to the clones.  Now, what better product to copy than a style that’s been obsolete for like two decades now!

We talked about Van Halen’s supposedly modded (but really quite stock) Marshall above...well, here comes one of his amp tech buddies Michael Soldano bringing a hot-rodded Marshall to the masses.  Then Bogner follows right behind.

Slash’s tone might not be that distorted, but plenty of metal guys absolutely were, and Marshall JCM’s were their weapon of choice.  But the time the calendar turned to 1990 though, Mesa Boogie’s rectifiers were already kings of the metal scene.  Almost as much as the Telecaster dominates country music, the Mesa Boogie Rectifiers own metal.

What was the common denominator in the competition?  MORE, sure.  More dirt, more quality, blah blah blah.  The biggest reason was Marshall, the company.  Unlike Fender, Marshall never got bought by bigger companies.  While that might keep them more “genuine” you have to realize that this guy was making amps in a tiny drum shop still when he was making stuff for Hendrix and Pete Townshend.

***

While Fender’s soul got twisted in a series of corporate takeovers, what it also eventually received was outside guidance from people with business AND music knowledge.  Fender was always forward thinking, from the day Leo Fender started the company.  Jim Marshall didn’t have that same type of vision.  The idea of a Fender amp being built on PCB is something Leo Fender would have embraced.  But to Marshall, it’s killing the amp’s soul.  Fenders never were BIG IRON...i.e. huge transformers fed by big bottle tubes...they never got into the size game.

To begin with, Marshalls were a stolen design.  That might sound harsh, but it’s not being unfair either.  They were never known for quality, rather known for quirks and unreliability.  They weren’t even that unique of a sound...you can get a very similar sound from a Fender Tweed cranked...you just cant take a Tweed to a huge hall and project the sound.

We can do that today.  Easily.  Like an $80 mic and a mic cable easy.  And now you have a true, pretty much genuine Marshall roar in a 30 lb. package.

Back in the day you couldn’t demand flawless point-to-point wiring, proper voltage and ohm specs, and wide-sweeping EQ bands.  Soldano and Mesa Boogie offered these as stock parts of their offerings at the same price points.  If you were a lead guy, Soldano was your choice...if you were a metal guy, it was Mesa...and in the two niches of the guitar world Marshall absolutely dominated, they were now second class citizens.

Or maybe even worse...new poor.

***

“Marshall” is a descriptor these days.  It’s describing the sound of a tube amp with a good-sized transformer being fed by British tubes, typically EL34′s.

If you want a “Marshall,” Marshall is probably the fourth or fifth company I’d recommend.  There’s a lot of debate about this, but I do not believe amps built on PCB are worth more than $1k...shit, that’s generous because I would not personally buy an amplifier using PCB.

This is the power amp section for a new Marshall JCM.

For all you IT guys out there, you probably know that PCB ain’t exactly the most receptive thing to changes in temperature.  Hey!  I got a great idea!  Lets put power and preamp tubes, that heat the fuck up, straight on some cheap ass PCB with janky copper wiring and automated solders!

Literally the only people who will tell you PCB is fine are people who build amps for a living.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t give a shit about making your job easier when you’re still charging me full price and plus some.  The only people saying that there’s no reason to do a point-to-point amp are those who are too lazy to, because there’s a big boutique market for this very thing.

Lets do a real apples to apples comparison here...

The top pic is a restored 1972 Marshall 1987x.  You can buy these used for under $2k...but let’s use $2k...plus $200 restoration (just the guts, who cares about how an amp looks).  We’re at $2,200.  And this electric shit is so simple a vacuum repair shop could do it.

The bottom pic is a brand spakin’ new Marshall 1987x reissue, modeled after...you guessed it...the 1972 Marshall 1987x.  That’s some clean wiring on that particle board!  But...wait...why am I paying MORE for a less desirable model, that took exponentially less work on Marshall’s end?  Why would I subsidize their profit margins for an inferior product with less resale value?

Furthermore...the 1987x is a one-channel, stupid simple amp.  Why do you need PCB to begin with?  I get it for a Soldano or Rectifier that’s multi-channel, with huge sweeping EQ sections, reverb, etc...but this is a plug-n-play.

Marshall...the company...has been doing that to their customer base for decades.  Back in the day, you knew what you were getting...a thunderous machine that likely would fail at some point, necessitating multiple amp purchases.  Literally the instant better, higher quality alternatives hit the market, it ripped into Marshall’s market share.

Today, if I were recommending a Marshall, the first place I’d recommend is George Metropoluos.  Second would be Friedman.  I’m currently deeply in love with a Friedman amp that’s a single-channel, point-to-point 40w amp that’s essentially a Tweed Bassman with EL84′s and a switchable gain stage...adorably named the Dirty Shirley.

***

Conclusion

Despite all that, I have a romantic love of Marshalls that overrides anything to do with quality or practicality.  It’s kind of like my love for the Gibson Les Paul grotesquely compounded...

You might think that I have a negative opinion of Marshalls based on everything I’ve just written.  Not true.  All of that stuff, it’s nothing in comparison to just how fucking incredible these things sound in person.  Again, neither of these instruments are in my wheelhouse, but if you asked me what the platonic ideal sound an electric guitar makes, it’d be a Les Paul through a cranked Marshall 1987x.

And even if you’re not into this kinda shit, trust me you’ve heard more than your fair share of Marshalls in the past.  They’re that great.  So great, it doesn’t matter how shitty they may or may not be.

PS...I wrote this in 3 different sessions, didn’t edit or re-read, and just posted away because something is better than nothing.