#and which is also‚ for the record‚ FUCKING HILARIOUS

[aroace-rizgukgak]

Okay, a few episodes in, let's go back over Comfrey's message and what it means for what we've learned. There's a lot of in-depth stuff here, so I'll put it below the cut.

Comfrey said that her expedition disembarked from Ramonsu Power Station. First, an in-world character calls it the Ramonsu Temple. A different interpretation of the location? Multiple purposes? The tile, with the cypher that Siobhan solved, was about the "power of Ramonsu", which lines up with how Comfrey saw it.

Comfrey also said she was assisted by the House of Fehujar. Both "Ramonsu" and "Fehujar" receive hostile reactions, as though it is taboo to even say their names.

The guy who tried to run off demanded to know what they knew about the Eyeless Hand, AND obviously knew who Comfrey was. This also definitely lines up, as Comfrey said in her message that they were "discovered by the agents of the Eyeless Hand", and combined with that guy stabbing his own forehead and giving off horrifying energy, we can assume the Eyeless Hand is not much of an ally.

Comfrey also said that she left on her expedition on the 44th of Tahal, and combined with all of the other Zood things she was involved with makes it clear that had been there a WHILE. She didn't send that message when she GOT there, it took her a while before she believed herself truly in enough peril to need to send it. We don't know how long she was visiting Zood, or how long she'd been there when she sent the message.

She clearly believes Zood to be very dangerous, though also loves it, classic adventure shit. And at the time of recording she seemed to be in a lot of danger. So it seems at this point that she technically went missing TWICE on her adventure, missing from Gath, AND missing from Zood, though she is obviously not well known in Zood. So hilariously enough, it seems this lady went on a huge adventure and found another WORLD, and upon arriving immediately started ANOTHER adventure.

So it's starting to seem like, finding Comfrey was never about GETTING there, that was the straightforward part, a whole bunch of OTHER stuff is going on here. Who knows what trouble she's gotten herself into?

My worry is definitely what happened to Comfrey to make her, after YEARS of doing this without her friends and family, decide to send that message. How afraid and certain of her fate must she have beem to finally send one? What happened, did the Eyeless Hand people get her? Sounded like her ship was going down, did she get hurt? Imagine if it ends up she just fucking DIED.

And who worked with her? Why was Mordecestershire in contact with her much longer, he seems kind of terrible, why did she choose him? Why did Comfrey decide to do the journey without her old crew, even if she regretted it in her message? How did she know so much about Van's prosthesis? Why did she leave the Zood-capable mech to Olethra?

I am FASCINATED by this character

[essektheylyss]

getting to the last bit of the Silmarillion like "how the FUCK are there any sons of Fëanor left"

[sendmyresignation]

finally reading dance of days (thank you ohiolink and oberlin college <3) but my most consistent takeaway thus far. is oh my god. people who think punk is primarily ideological and not subcultural/musical. are so out of touch.

[apatheticsunday]

Gotham TikTok

AKA "Danny moves to Gotham and records TikToks with absolutely deranged captions. He films Get Ready with Me in Gotham videos, fit checks, and even A Day in the Life of a Ghost in Gotham! Except everybody is freaking the fuck out in the comments" prompt idea!

No, you don't understand, I'm obsessed. Like, what if Danny's idea of "safe" is just... anything that doesn't actively try to kill him? So Metropolitians, Star City, and Central City citizens are literally biting their nails and sweating bullets every time he posts, because what if he gets merc'd by the "Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag" Red Hood?? And that's one of the nicer villains in Gotham. And Danny's just like wow, this place is niiiiiice, I haven't even been murdered yet!

Maybe Jazz took a 12-year-old Danny to Gotham to escape their parents. Gotham's cheap, dirty, and doesn't ask questions: it's the best place to go to disappear because damn near half the city's population are either super villains, hostages, dead, or vigilantes. She gets a job at an understaffed hospital as a clinical psych intern. She enrolls Danny for online schooling because she's scared a public high school would be too easy for their parents to track.

Which leaves Danny alone for hours. He makes a TikTok account called "Danny Phantom" because, c'mon, he's a kid. And, like most kids, he doesn't really comprehend the idea of a digital footprint or that his account is public, accessible by literally anybody.

He's also a little shit. So, the first TikTok he uploads is of a man getting carjacked, but the caption reads: love to see people helping each other. remember it's always okay to ask for help! it's okay, I don't know how to parallel park, either :)

And you just see this guy in a mask shove a businessman away from his car, gesturing with his gun, before getting into the driver's seat. Except the car is parallel parked so the carjacker just slowly inches back and forth between a Prius and a Honda until he can wedge himself out of the parking space. And then gets stuck in stand-still traffic. The TikTok goes viral. It's talked about on the Gotham news and Gothamites are losing their shit, pointing out the exact moment you can see the carjacker start to soundlessly cuss through the car's windshield or the way the businessman is just... standing on the side of the road, watching with a deadpan look.

Danny doesn't know about it being on the news, but he sees all the comments, likes, reposts, and feels something. He wonders if this is what Ember feels every time people listened to her music. So, he keeps posting. Usually, it's short three-second videos of a hilariously unexpected situation with an even more deranged caption. But then he's accidentally caught in the reflection of a store front while recording and doesn't know, posts it like he always does; only for this TikTok to go viral, too. Because "Danny Phantom" is a child??

He doesn't notice the shift in his comments, but the public opinion quickly changes from wow, Gothamites are just like that huh lol to what the FUCK, kid, get inside!!! anytime he posts.

Except Danny never gets hurt. Even in the most dangerous situations, when you'd think this kid is a goner for sure, he's just happily yapping in the background. He's so different from Gothamites because he lacks that dead-eyed, despair-inducing aura of someone who's lived in a hellmouth their whole lives. (A couple people post that Danny kind of reminds them of Golden Boy Brucie Wayne, all air-headed and unrealistically optimistic, and suddenly there's memes of "what happens when you've never gotten shot in Gotham" or "how i act when Commish Gordie accuses me of shoplifting again" with them side-by-side.)

And then Danny's posts go viral again and again. Danny doing a fit check with a blond-haired woman with a checkered outfit, she ruffles his hair and kisses him on the cheek. A picture of him wearing an old jean jacket with a bright red lipstick smear on his cheek is trending for weeks. Spoiler, fully suited up in an all-purple vigilante attire, and him shoving gas station hotdogs in their mouths. He even has videos of him clearly in Killer Croc's lair, with comments of are you in the sewers??? DANNY??? and he responds, no, i'm in mom & dad's basement :) (Waylon Jones is actually sitting behind him in one of the videos, intently watching a TV show on an iPad.)

Everybody adores Danny - Rogues, Gothamites, even the Bats. (There's at least six videos of Nightwing teaching Danny how to do backflips, handstands, and other acrobatic moves. Even the youngest Robin has been caught on camera quietly talking with Danny, a shocking lack of violence that left half the city's population suffering from cuteness aggression for the kids.)

So, yeah, Danny belongs to Gotham.

But the internet is widely accessible and Danny made it so, so easy to find him. Jazz obviously didn't know he was posting videos of himself publicly; she was too tired after back-to-back 12 hour shifts at the hospital that she hadn't even checked social media in months. Otherwise, she would've told him to be careful, to never show his face or post his real name on the internet. Then again, Jazz would never have expected all of Gotham (and Superman himself, totally endeared by the kid after Kon and Jon showed him a couple TikToks) would beat the absolute shit out of anybody going after Danny.

Imagine GIW's surprise when they track down Amity's former residential Ghost only to find an entire city frothing at the mouth to protect their Phantom.

[ssaalexblake]

i have channels on my tv and that is, to say, weird as hell. Never had that before. Even back when my little shitty tv had an embedded video player bc i begged for a way to watch my buffy video boxsets. It was literally just for the video boxsets.

[notarmedandnotdangerous]

+18 mdni! faux innocence; a fic where you're the newest member of the thunderbolts*, and bucky tries to bed you the entire week, thinking you were a virgin. boy, was he so wrong.

cw: faux innocent!dom!m!reader, sub!bucky, reader acts like he's oblivious, reader is so fucking condescending, rough (?) sex, fingering, slight overstimulation, use of toys (fleshlight), missionary/mating press, slight stomach bulge, bucky has a size kink, creampie reader is quite controlling, attempted edging (?)

word count: >5k

[1] [2]

!! @swiftie-fault

a/n: everyone's begging so its out early HAHA also bucky gets fucking whiplash from your tone change and its hilarious anyways this is filthy

-------------------------------------------------------

the next day, you woke up early. you hummed under your breath as you pulled the vinyl record from the turntable, careful not to leave fingerprints on the edges. the sleeves are laid out on your carpet in neat rows, while you flipped through them slowly, fingers trailing over the worn cardboard corners like you’re picking out wine for a quiet night in. you were calm.

but bucky wasn’t.

he barged into your room, jaw clenched, and looking wired, like he hadn’t slept. he doesn’t say anything at first, just stands near the doorway as if he was trying to figure out which version of you he was talking to.

you glance up at him, smiling softly.

“hey. morning, sergeant.”

that’s what breaks him.

“you think you’re funny?”

“depends who’s laughing. what are you talking about?”

“cut the shit.”

“..sorry?” you blink innocently.

bucky storms forward, fast. he stops a few feet away from you, like he’d get burned if he stood too close.

“you’ve been pretending all week.”

“pretending?”

“yes, don’t do..” he gestured at you. “that.”

“do what?” you acted confused.

“i’ve been throwing myself at you all fucking week.” his voice was so low it almost came out as a growl.

you tilted your head, and slowly set the vinyl down beside the others.

“i flirted with you, touched you, and you didn’t even flinch, just smiled like i was cute!” he cuts himself off, breath shaky.

“i thought we were just getting along.”

“bullshit.” bucky scoffs.

“you’re a touchy guy, i figured you were.. affectionate.” you gave a helpless shrug.

he groaned.

“you’re really mad about being friendly?” you raised your eyebrows.

“and last night, you said all that like it was nothing, like it wasn’t the filthiest fucking thing anyone’s ever said to me! now you’re in here listening to records like you didn’t just fry my fucking brain?” he sputtered.

you blink slowly.

“did i?”

“yes! for fuck’s sake, you whispered it like you were reading me a fucking bedtime story!”

“must’ve had a few drinks.” you hummed.

“don’t do that. don’t fucking gaslight me.”

“wow, big word. is that what i’m doing?” you offered a faint smile, grabbing the back of your neck with your hand.

“you’re not innocent, i see you.” bucky ran a hand through his hair. “you knew the whole damn time.”

“i.. was being polite?”

“polite? polite?! you told me i’d be begging you for more, and acted like nothing happened the moment yelena came back!”

you were quiet. then finally, you sigh, a soft little surrender.

“..worth a try.” you press your fingers to your temples.

bucky goes still.

“what..?”

“playing dumb. you were enjoying it so much.” you cross the room slow, getting closer towards him. “i thought i’d let you have your fun, let you think you were in charge.” you stop in front of him.

he blinks.

“i wanted to see how far you’d go before you snapped.” you sighed. “guess we hit that point, huh?”

bucky was silent, and his hands were shaking. his whole face was flushed, not from rage, but from the slow realisation that he wasn’t the one in charge.

“you-” he took in a deep breath. “what the fuck are you?”

“not as sweet as you thought.” you smiled.

he looks at you as if he had just seen a ghost, or something far worse than that, something that sees everything, and stays quiet until it’s ready to pounce.

“you’re not mad because i didn’t notice, you’re mad because i did.”

bucky didn’t respond, he didn’t know how to.

you leaned in slightly, and whispered.

“still want to be on top, sergeant?” you winked.

the question hangs between the both of you.

bucky blinks like he didn’t hear you right. then, something shifts behind his eyes. his spine straightens, his jaw clenches, and he steps forward.

“you talk big for someone who’s been playing dumb all week.” he leans down slow, crowding into your personal space. his palm brushes your side, thumb dragging along your waist like he means to take the lead. “careful. keep talking like that, and i might show you what i can actually do.”

you smile, small, barely-there. then your hand slides between the both of you. you hook your fingers into his belt loops, and yank him in tight.

his breath stutters.

“you really want to see what happens when i stop holding back?”

bucky tried to not show it, he really did. but the way his lips parted, the way his pupils were blown wide betrayed him completely.

“you think i didn’t notice how you stared every time i rolled my sleeves up? how you somehow always manage to position yourself behind me every time i bent over slightly?” you spoke, hand curling gently around the back of his neck, letting your lips ghost over his pulse point. you could feel his heartbeat spike, it was adorable. “you thought i was sweet.” you drag your teeth against his neck, and his knees almost buckled right there, and then.

“you’re not as scary as you think you are-” he tries to play it cool.

“aren’t i?” you hum. you back him up against the wall, then slotted your thigh in between his, just enough to feel the ‘problem’ growing.

bucky’s fingers grip your bicep like he’s not sure whether he’s trying to steady you, or himself.

“you wanted control? then take it, sergeant.” you leaned in. “come on, show me. do something brave.”

he doesn’t do anything, because he can’t. he’s blinking fast now, lips parted, chest rising, and falling a little too quick. there was fear in his expression, not real fear, but wide-eyed panic, the kind that hits when you poke the bear, and it bares its teeth instead of running.

you lean back just to let him breathe.

”didn’t expect me to be a fucking freak, did you? thought i’d be easy?”

bucky’s lips part, but there wasn’t any sound.

“poor thing.” you grinned. then you leaned in, and kissed him, slow, and gentle. your lips pressed against his, just once.

but after a minute, he pulls back, clearly frustrated.

“stop that. stop holding back.” he whispers.

you blink.

“i want you, the real you. not whatever sweet little version of yourself you think i can handle.”

“you sure?”

“for fuck’s sake, yes.”

something shifts behind your gaze, it’s subtle, but he feels it.

the next kiss you give bucky was rougher, messier, more teeth than tongue. your hand tightens on his hips, while the other trails down to his thigh, and grips. you walked him backward, slowly, until the backs of his knees hit the edge of your bed, and he dropped without thinking.

“spread your legs, bucky.”

and he does, instinctively.

you climbed onto the bed to settle between them, and kiss down his jaw, stopping to nibble below his ear.

“you want the real me? the part of me that doesn’t pretend to be gentle?” you bit into his neck, sucked a dark mark right into his collarbones, and he gasps. “then shut up, and take what you asked for. don’t whine now.”

you push him back, so that he was laid back against the pillows. your hand slips under his shirt, and you drag your nails across his stomach.

the moment your nails bit into the skin of bucky’s stomach, he moans. he tried to cover his mouth with the back of his hand, and failed miserably.

“that all it takes?” you hum, pulling off his shirt. then you kiss down to his chest, and he’s panting now.

he swears he’s feeling a little dizzy.

“is this what you wanted?”

“yes, fuck, yes.”

you gripped his thigh, hard, and he mewls.

“still think i’m soft?”

bucky’s breath hitches. he tries to respond, but couldn’t.

you press your hand against his cock through his sweats, only to find out that he’s rock hard.

he whines at the contact when you drag your palm slowly over him.

“i tried to be gentle,” you murmur. “tried to give you time, but you wanted this.”

“i-i didn’t think it’d be like this-” he murmurs breathlessly.

you hummed, dragging your fingers up his ribs.

“too much?”

“no- fuck no. just didn’t think i’d be this into it.”

“that’s because you had no idea what i was.” you shrug. “you do now.”

your mouth was everywhere, on his neck, ribs, hipbones. you were marking him up like it’s your name he should wear on his dog tags.

bucky’s trembling beneath you, the band of his sweatpants shoved down just enough to give you access to everything you need.

you hadn’t even fucked him yet, and he already looks ruined.

“god, your mouth..” he gasps, fingers tightening in the sheets.

“told you. i gave you every chance to run, but you chose to stay. that’s on you.”

“should’ve- fuck, should’ve done this sooner-”

“oh?” you curled your hand around his cock, slow, and tight. fuck, they were huge.

bucky’s entire body arches at that, and you bit gently at his nipple just to feel him twitch again.

“you asked for me to stop pretending, and i’m not planning on disappointing you.”

he gasped.

you glanced down, and hummed.

“oh, look how small you are in my hand.”

bucky lets out a strangled little whine, soft, and involuntary. his thighs tensed where they were spread, trembling just slightly. his head lolls to the side, eyes fixed on the wall like it might save him.

“aw. whats wrong?” you cooed. “thought you were big, thought you could take it.”

he shook his head frantically.

“i can. fuck, i-”

“then look. eyes on me.”

“don’t make me- please.” his voice was shredded.

you tighten your grip slightly, just enough to make him hiss.

“look.”

he doesn’t.

“i said, look.” you leaned in, and whispered.

something in your tone cut through bucky like a wire snapping, and his gaze flicks down.

big mistake.

instantly, his whole body jolts. a broken moan tumbles out of his mouth, and his thighs jerk to close, but your knees press firm against his spread thighs, keeping him open. he stares, and sees the obscene contrast of your hand around him, your palm swallowing the base, your thumb dragging slow over the tip.

it doesn’t make sense. bucky wasn’t small. he’s not.

he knows what he’s working with, he always had. enough past partners, mostly from the 40’s, have moaned about it, there were enough ego-boosts, casual brags, and certainty.

but the moment your hand wrapped around him? suddenly all of that didn’t matter.

“fuck- fuck. please, i’ll cum- don’t..”

you hum.

“already?”

bucky let out another whimper, teeth sinking into his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. his hands were fisting the sheets under him, his hips kept twitching up like they wanted it.

you stroked him with a steady rhythm, firm, practiced.

he moans, and tries to rut into your fist.

you pinned his hip down with one hand, and continued, thumb dragging over the tip, smearing pre-cum all over it.

“going to cum already?”

“no- fuck, maybe-”

you let go, and he whines, entire body jolting forward.

“too soon, you’re not ready.”

“please, please- i’ve been so good-”

“you’ve been a menace all fucking week, bucky.” you kissed his neck. “throwing yourself at me like a slut. what happened to all that confidence, hm?”

bucky shudders when you say his name.

you kiss your way down to his stomach, then lick a stripe up his cock, and he lets out the most pathetic noise.

“thought i was the sub, hm?” you murmur. “remember that?”

he nods, completely dazed, and drunk on the shame.

you wrapped your mouth around his cock, taking your time. you gave him slow sucks, deliberate swirls of your tongue, holding him down when he tries to thrust.

“fuck- please, i-” bucky’s loud now. he was a complete mess, gasping, and twisting the sheets as he writhes under you.

you pull off, letting a line of spit connect the tip of his cock to your lips.

“not yet.”

bucky almost sobs.

you press a kiss to his inner thigh, letting your teeth graze against the tender skin.

“you’re shaking.”

“you’re insane.” he breathes.

you chuckled, taking off your sweats before crawling back up again, and pinned his wrists above his head.

“can’t tap out now, you asked for this.” you press your cock in between his cheeks, just the weight of it, and he freezes.

‘oh my fuck.’

‘there’s no way that’s fitting inside me.’

that’s all he could think about, because you’re so fucking thick. you haven’t even pushed in yet, you’re just there, teasing him.

you reach down between the both of your bodies, and stroke yourself slowly against him, base to tip, dragging the full weight of it across his cheeks.

bucky gasps every single time, thighs twitching wider like his body was trying to take more without thinking.

“you couldn’t even handle my hand on your cock, what do you think this is going to do to you, sweetheart?” you press closer, cock sliding against him again, and his back arches.

then you shift, and he sees it.

his breath caught.

he wasn’t prepared. he thought he was, he thought he had some idea, but he didn’t.

‘fuck. i’m not walking tomorrow.’

what’s worse was that he didn’t care. not if it meant he got to feel you from the inside.

he knows he’s finished.

“relax, need to open you up properly.”

bucky tried, he really did. but your fingers were big, not painful, not even rough, just wide, and insistent.

you pushed in slowly, letting him adjust, murmuring praise in his ear while his body fought to loosen up. you pressed in one finger, then two, crooking them just right against his sweet spot.

“shit- fuck, i-” his head dropped back before he could even continue his sentence.

“i know, it’s a stretch isn't it?” you kissed his cheek. “have to get you ready, can’t ruin you too fast.”

bucky let out the most broken sound, because he knows he’s not ready. he’s clenching down, fluttering, and drooling around your fingers, but you’re still gentle, still preparing him like he’s fragile, like it wasn’t already too much for him.

“bet you’ve never taken something like this before, hm?” you whispered.your cock pressed against the slick mess your fingers were making. you weren’t even inside him yet, but it was enough to make him cry.

god, bucky wanted it so bad. he wanted to be stretched open, folded in half, filled to the brim, all while you murmured filth in his ear. he was bent open, and trembling. his legs wide, muscles taut, hole stretched from your fingers, but not ready. he never could be, not for this.

you lined yourself up, press the tip of your cock against him, he jerks, whimpering before you’re even inside.

“shh, you’re doing so good.” you murmured sweetly, like you’re not about to break him. “look at you, so soft, so obedient. you’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”

he moans, high, and wrecked. you had him in missionary, so he’s gripping your shoulders like it’ll help.

“you’re so fucking tight, gripping me already, and i’m not even in yet.” you chuckled, pressing in slowly, but not gentle, just enough that bucky feels the push, the stretch, every inch of you as you force your way inside.

“fuck- so.. b-big- nnh..”

you don’t stop talking though.

“mm, fuck. feel that? that’s just the tip, sweetheart. still so much left to go. going to be a good boy, and take it for me?”

he whines, tries to speak, and fails.

“that’s it, breathe for me. let me stretch you out, fuck. you were made for this.” you sink in deeper.

and bucky fucking breaks. he clenches around you, and you choke.

“oh you like that, don’t you?” you sneer. “filthy little thing. bet you’d take anything i give you. you wouldn’t even think twice.”

his hands scramble for something, anything. his mouth opens, but no sound comes out.

“yeah, that’s what i thought. just a hole to be filled, you were fucking made for this.” you’re halfway in, and he’s already drooling.

he’s blinking up at you like he’s not sure where he is anymore. all you did was smile at him.

“there we go. come on, sweetheart, take all of me. thought you could handle it, remember?” you continued, reaching deeper inside him, and he wails. “look at that, can’t even answer me, can you? poor thing, too full to think, can’t even understand what i’m saying to you.”

it’s true, bucky can’t comprehend a single word. every word you say blurs into the static. all he can feel is you, pressing in deeper, and deeper. his hole’s fluttering, stretched obscenely around your cock, and his own cock is leaking pathetically against his stomach, untouched.

“aw, dumb already? i haven’t even fucked you yet.” you sigh.

“fuck, i- oh my god-” he moans, helplessly, and your smile turns wicked.

“that’s my good boy. all full, all dumb, just the way i like you.”

his legs try to close around you, but you don’t let him.

you press forward again, finally bottoming out.

bucky screams. his thighs shake violently, and his head drops back. his jaw slack, mouth open like he’s trying to breathe, but can’t. his hands scrambled to hold onto your bicep, trying to ground himself.

“oh sweetheart, you should’ve seen your face.” you haven’t moved yet, and he’s already trembling like he’s going to cum. his hands gripped at your biceps, stomach flipping from the stretch, cock drooling against his own belly without a single touch. he feels you everywhere. inside him, against him, holding him down.

and then, you thrust. once, deep, slow enough to feel, and he breaks.

bucky’s body jerks, his mouth opens wide in a silent sob, and then he cums. without a single touch to his cock, just from the feeling of you filling him, and the sound of your voice as you drag it out of him.

“aw, didn’t even last a single thrust?” you whisper, tone thick with mock-pity. “squirted all over yourself.”

“i-i didn’t mean to- fuck, i just- aah..” he moans, wrecked, and helpless.

“fucking mess already.” you coo. “i was thinking about being nice, taking it slow, but clearly your body doesn’t want that.” you draw your hips back, just enough to make him clench down hard, and you felt every flutter his body gives you. “didn’t even fuck you yet. all i did was sit in your sloppy hole, and you soaked my cock like it was your fucking job.”

bucky whines, his mouth opened, but he didn’t speak. before he could even process it, you switched tones.

“you’re doing so good, so perfect for me.”

his eyes snap open, and he stares at you, confused, like he doesn’t know what the fuck just happened.

“all dumb already?” you murmured.

“i- no, i can- just, give me a second-”

“sweetheart, your cock’s still twitching. you sure you’ve got another one in you?”

“yeah.. yeah.. plea.. mmh.. i can.. take it.”

“oh i know you can,” you leaned down, lips grazing his ear. “now we’re going to see if you should.” you bit down, hard enough to leave a mark on his neck.

oh fuck. that wrecks bucky. his entire body shudders, and his breath catches in his throat. his fists curl uselessly into the sheets, knuckles white, like he’s trying to ground himself, but there’s absolutely nothing grounding about the way you speak to him.

“i warned you, didn’t i? told you what i’d do to you.” you thrust again, harder this time.

“aah- mmh!?” he screams, his voice cracking. he was still twitching from the first orgasm, and now you’re fucking him through it.

“look at you, didn’t even need your cock touched. all it took was mine, inside you, just one push.” you laugh. “you liked it didn’t you?”

he nodded, and you softened, just a little.

“there’s my good boy, so sweet when you cum for me.” you whisper, suddenly tender.

bucky swears he got whiplash from the way your tone flipped, filthy one moment, sweet the next. he’s still panting, thighs shaking violently as you bottomed out again.

you press in deeper, hips rolling slow, drawn out.

“not so cocky now, huh?” you pull back almost all the way, and slam back in hard enough to knock the breath from his lungs.

“ah- fuck!”

“thought i was a bottom, didn’t you? thought i’d get all shy, and beg for your cock-” you pull out slowly, almost all the way, before slamming back in, hitting that spot inside him.

“shit- oh my god-” he gasps, legs shaking.

“but look at you. you’re the one spread out and dripping, moaning like a fucking pornstar the moment i entered you.”

“please- please..” bucky’s voice breaks, high-pitched, and needy.

“didn’t take much now, did it?” you rock in deep again, and he chokes on a sob. “didn’t think i’d be able to fuck you like this. huh? didn’t think i’d use you. you wanted someone soft you could ruin.”

he keens when you bite into his neck once more.

“breathe, sweetheart, just breathe. you’re doing so good.” your hips roll forward again, and he sobs. “god, you’re filthy, fucking yourself on my cock like it’s the only fucking thing that’s keeping you alive.”

“too m-much- ugh, so deep..”

“aw, you’re trying so hard for me, i know it’s too much.” you shush him with a kiss, before you rolled your hips again, and he moans into your mouth. “you’re perfect like this, you know that?”

bucky tries to speak, but all that comes out was a whine.

“no thoughts left in that pretty head, hm?” then you’re rough again, pulling his hips forward to meet your thrusts, letting him feel just how deep you are. “fucking cockdrunk already, and i’m not even halfway done.”

“please- oh my god- fuck!” he moans, and your hand slides down to wrap around his untouched cock.

you glance down, and pause. your gaze catches on the slight bulge on his lower stomach, twitching with each thrust you give him.

“oh.. look at that.”

bucky doesn’t register it at first, he’s too far gone.

so you shift your weight, thrust in deeper, and rested your palm on his lower stomach, and he barely notices.

until he looks.

“what are you-”

until he sees your hand, palm spread wide, fingers splayed over the slight bulge jutting up.

“oh my god-” his stomach twitches, and his head snaps back against the pillow.

“you didn’t notice before?”

“it’s not- fuck, i didn’t-”

“shh, it’s okay. that’s just me, sweetheart, all the way inside.” you press down slowly, and the bulge pulses beneath your hand. “so deep inside you, i can feel you from the outside. poor baby, no wonder you’re crying.”

“no- i don’t- fuck, i don’t like-” he tries to breathe through it, but a full body shudder rolls through him.

“oh, you love it.” you move your hips just slightly, grinding in deeper, and that bulge shifts underneath your palm. “you’re being shy, sweetheart. thought you liked how it feels?”

bucky whimpers in denial, shaking his head, and biting his lip like that’ll stop the sounds coming out of him.

“shh, i know it’s too much. you wanted it though, remember? all week?”

“n-no- don’t say it.”

you sigh, and reach for his hand, then guide it down.

“here. feel that?” you guided his palm over the thick shape stretching him open.

and that’s all it takes. bucky fucking chokes on it.

“ah- fuck- fuck! i-” his body spasms, and his legs kick weakly. his cock pulses untouched between the both of you, cum spilling over his stomach. he whines, high, and shattered, eyes rolling back as he cums the hardest he ever has in his life.

“did you just cum from that?” you drag your hips back slow, and grinded back in deep.

“too much- it’s- fuck! ..too much.”

“aw, but i’m still hard.” you said sweetly, kissing his cheek. “going to keep pressing right here, until i cum too.” your fingers stroke gently over the slight bulge in his stomach. “you can take it right? you already made a mess, might as well be useful.”

bucky whimpers, his fingers clutching helplessly at the sheets, and then you start to move. his back arches at the first thrust, helplessly.

“n-no, i- ah- wait, wait!”

you slow, just barely, hips grinding in deep as your hand trails over his flushed chest. you lean over him, nose brushing against his cheek.

“can you take it or not, sweetheart?”

“y-yeah, yes. i can.”

“oh you’re going to wish you shut your mouth.” you pressed his knees up to his chest, practically putting him in a mating press.

“no wait-”

you cup the underside of his thigh, holding him open, and slide in deeper than before.

bucky chokes on a sob, and his back arches clean off the bed.

“now shut the fuck up, and take it.” you thrusted, and he wails. his heel dug into your side as he tries to pull away. “nowhere to go, sweetheart. you wanted this, don’t go quiet on me now.” another thrust.

his head lolls to the side, dazed, and jaw slack, drool glistening at the corner of his lips.

you hum softly, pressing your hand around his throat, and tightening. you tilt his face towards yours, pressing your thumb just beneath his jaw.

“sweetheart, look at me.” you slowed, just for him to look at you.

and bucky, the poor thing, he tries. his teary eyes flutter open, and he meets your gaze.

you kissed his cheek softly, before your hips snapped forward, deep, and your voice dipped.

“that’s it. there’s my pretty boy. want to see the exact moment you realise no one else is ever going to fuck you like this.” you growled.

he whines again, half-apology, half-desperation.

your rhythm shifts, just a little faster, and harder, fucking into him with purpose now. you wrapped your hand tighter around his throat now, just enough to make him gasp, just enough to feel the way he flutters around you.

“there we go, knew you’d squeeze me just right if i did this.” your grip tightens just a little more, and he clamps down on your cock so perfectly you groaned. “fuck- yeah, mm. that’s it. going to wring it out of me, sweetheart?”

bucky whines beneath you, lips parted in a broken sound you don’t think he meant to make.

you lean in, voice syrupy-sweet, and smug.

“keep doing that- fuck, and i’m going to cum in your messy little hole. that what you want?”

he nods, frantic, and helpless. he tries to warn you, but he cums before he even could.

you rail him, just a little harder, dragging it out as your grip stays firm on his throat. and when you finally cum, it’s with a low growl into his ear. you stayed inside him, breathing hard against his cheek, but still so composed, compared to the wreck underneath you.

bucky’s trembling, thigh shaking where it’s pressed up against his chest. his eyes are fluttering, unfocused, barely able to look at you.

your hand eases off his throat a little.

“you okay, sweetheart?” you whispered, your cock still twitching inside him.

he whines, wordless.

“you did so well, took all of me, fucked yourself dumb, didn’t you?” you shifted, just enough for him to feel it. “shh, i know, i know. sensitive now, huh?” you rock in a little, and he gasps like you had electrocuted him. you’re still pressed so deep he can feel you.

you finally pull out, and he whimper. you hum low, dragging your palm down the inside of his thigh, where your cum was dripping out of him in lazy, thick streaks.

“so? what are you going to do to thank me? still need to finish properly.”

“didn’t you..?”

“came? sure, but i’m still hard, sweetheart.”

bucky blinks up at you, but his brain is still working, somehow. he pushes himself up a little, and reaches over to the nightstand, he opened your drawer, and pulled out a fleshlight.

“how did you..?” you gasped when he just casually pulled out your fleshlight from your drawer. how did he even know it was there?

he didn’t respond, just pushed the toy down over your cock, twisting a little, and you hissed.

“just like that- fuck, ahh.. good boy.”

he whines, then moves his hand faster.

“want to make me cum- mmh, so quick, d-don’t you?”

he nods.

and you do. within a few minutes, you’re spilling into the toy with a thick groan, shuddering through it. you’re still buried in the haze of your orgasm, when he shifts again. you don’t stop him at first. the second the slick, still-warm toy wrapped around your oversensitive cock, your whole body flinches.

bucky smirks, and he rocks the toy so fucking slowly while watching you closely.

“sweetheart.”

“mm?”

you groaned, trying to ground yourself.

“i-i.. fuck..”

he pulls the toy off right before you tip.

“oops.”

“bucky.”

“yeah?”

“keep edging me, and i’ll make you cum untouched for a week straight.”

bucky shudders visibly, but the bastard does it again anyway.

“let me make this simple for you.” you wrap your hand over his, and force the it back over your cock.

“wha- what- what are we-” his eyes go wide when he sees the way your hips stutter. there wasn’t any more teasing, just slick, obscene sounds while you did what he couldn’t.

you guide his hand rhythmically, and you keep going, faster now. when you came, you grinded your hips up into it, and moaned, low, and fed the fuck up. you breathe hard through your nose, and then you sigh, like this whole thing was an inconvenience.

“see? didn’t need your help.”

bucky just stared dumbly at your cock.

“next time,” you murmur against his cheek. “you keep edging me like that, and i’ll fuck your throat raw instead.”

[thebluediner]

CURRENTLY YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND

a/n: wait guys cause I still wanna do it

billie normallly wasn't a person who consumed internet micro trends especially ones she found on tiktok. billie doesn't even stay there long enough unless she is resposting videos from her tour and seeing how her fans loved something she has released otherwise the app stayed on her appstore.

well that has changed. she was like a mini finneas now, he's known to be on the web twenty four seven. she saw this one trend on tiktok of calling your significant other a current partner and she immediately came running into the kitchen to show it to you.

she came running to show you a video of it done by this other hilarious couple making both of you peer over to look at the screen with your foreheads touching. you and billie laughed at the reactions together and adding how crazy this trend was.

so out of curiousity billie asked you, what would you do if she did that to you. at first you laughed it off and you told her not too but then she pushed to get an actually answer.

"I'll kill you if you say that to me babe" you said eyeing her with a goofy sort of suspicious smile before continuing with washing the dishes.

well clearly billie doesn't listen because a day or two afterwards she actually gains the guts to do it. billie came into the living room sofa sitting next to you with her phone already rolling. you eyed her but then she explained how it was for some promo stuff and she needed your help so you scootched closer.

"okay guys I'm not sure how I'm suppose to do this so I thought to ask for help" billie says talking to the camera while she brought one of her hands to your exposed thigh just before she introduces you.

"my current girlfriend is- AHHHHH!" she's fast to scream immediately clutching onto her neck rolling over the sofa in chokes.

what happened was the second you heard current girlfriend your hand was quick to wack billie's neck like some karate master.

"I told you I'd kill you if you do this " you say lightly laughing at billie who's now on her knees on the floor still holding onto her neck not because it actually did some damage but because she was uncontrollably laughing.

"holy fuck, I didn't think you'd do it " billie says inbetween the laughing her while face basically turning red.

"cause why the hell would you even think to say current" you ask her smilling hard because billie's laugh is so contagious.

"I mean it as in you're currently my girlfriend babe which is entirely true" billie's says defending as she slowly gets up form the floor to stand upright.

"okay so then you'll be currently dead which will also be entirely true " you say getting up getting close to billie who fleas immediately stating how you need to be atleast a couple of feet away while you two discuss this.

meanwhile the phone is still filming the both of you try and debate how currently being her girlfriend is not something wrong to say but you keep throwing all the ways she could be currently dead too if she doesn't stop thinking like that.

shark even walks into the room with the door of you they stare at the phone recording then back at the two of you bickering back an forth whilst giggling and laughing at the stupid reason you both are coming up with to defend yourselves.

[colorlessjay]

Oh my Jack, I’m obsessed with your BTTF AU.

I know it might not quite fit into your AU but I’ve been giggling to myself about the potential hilarious misunderstandings. My fav being s6 Dean attempts to put together all the little clues Cas has dropped about his husband but like comically wrong (plugged-all-the-numbers-into-the-right-formula-and-somehow-got-the-wrong-answer wrong)

Dean in the guest bedroom with sticky notes and red string: ok so he wears flannels and he has an Impala that looks suspiciously like baby and cas mentioned he had hair longer than mine and that he was a hunter and Sam and I knew him and they were friends for a while before anything romantic happened, and I’m clearly not hanging out with cas as much …

Dean (having a panic attack): son of a bitch I know who cas is married to!

Dean (mopey and despondent and slightly horrified the next day and definitely not with puffy eyes): Cas, I, I have to know, your husband, it’s not *gulp*

Cas (visibly worried he’s given too much away and s6 dean is still so repressed that the bi realization is throwing him into despair)

Dean whispering (trying not to vomit): Sam?

Cas (too stunned to hold back his reaction): *hysterical laughter* oh, no, dean! I’m not married to sam.

Dean (nearly passing out from relief): thank god!

Cas (under his breath): this is why my dean asked me to love him anyways when his past self asked an incredibly stupid question

Honestly I fucking love that so much, I think I have a way to shoe horn that into the AU

kinda like this:

It's been two days

It's been two days stuck in the future, and Dean feels frustration bubbling up in him as his brain tries to puzzle piece everything together

It doesn't help that Cas won't tell him shit

Best friend my ass!

Okay, maybe he's being a bit of an asshole saying that. Cas- This Cas has been nothing but a great host. He always has food in the fridge, he has extra clothes he lets Dean borrow, he doesn't get all up in Dean's personal space like his Castiel does

But at the same time, Cas keeps giving him these looks, like he knows something Dean doesn't

which sure, yeah, he knows a whole hell of a lotta things. It's the future. But Cas us smug about it. At least it feels like he's smug about it. It doesn't help that Cas is out of his holy tax accountant get up and dresses like a regular John. Least his taste in band shirts has improved thanks to his husband

Husband

yeah, that still causes a record scratch in Dean's brain every time he thinks about it

And he's got no problems with it! Love is love and all that. Who Cas wants to take home and put a ring on is his own business. It's not like Cas is a guy, he's an angel. A beam of holy light or whatever. So technically, he's not gay (Not that Dean would have a problem with that!). But it does make his husband some kind of monsterfucker

which is also totally fine. Cas is a catch. Good for both of them

So why doesn't Cas say who his husband is?

Is he scared Dean would judge him? Well fuck him for that! Dean's not a homophobe! And Cas is his best friend! He'd be supportive of him and his monsterfucker husband! Rainbow streamers with Cthulhu and all!

Unless Cas is more worried about Dean's reaction to who he's married to...

which is dumb. From what little Cas told him about Mr. Mystery (Cas refuses to tell him his last name), he wears a shit ton of plaid flannels, he cooks a lot with Cas, likes to read (a guess he got from the 'shared library' Cas showed him), is pretty handy around the house, has long stupid hair and loves his dog Miracle...

Holy shit

Dean was on his feet before he even knew what he was doing. He practically kicks down the guest room door and runs around the house looking for that damn Angel/half angel/not angel

He finds Cas in the backyard with Miracle, playing fetch on the wide stretch of land he owns

Cas looks all too comfortable in his loose, light washed jeans and Metallica shirt, his hair wind swept, probably from running around with Miracle while Dean took a nap.

Cas spots Dean approaching and waves at him with a smile, only to drop both as he sees Dean's determined march

Dean can't blame him. He has no idea what he looks like right not but he knows what he feels

like he's gonna explode

"Dean-" Cas starts but never gets to finish as Dean grabs the future version of his best friend by his shoulders and holds him still, grounding himself as he speaks

"Did you marry Sam?"

The question hung in the nice summer air for around two, three beats. Miracle even pausing where she sat with a stick in her mouth, her little head tilted to the side

Cas' usual stoic face breaks into surprise and Dean holds his breath

Only for Cas, Angel of the Lord, to burst out into an explosive laughter that rocks Dean's entire being

Suddenly Dean has no idea how to react, because Cas is... he's got the biggest, gummiest, most hysterical laugh he's ever seen. It completely transforms his face that Dean is questioning if he's still taking nap, and this was all just some weird dream where he thinks Cas is almost...

cute

Get it together, Winchester!

By the time Dean shakes away his shock, Cas is already on the ground, on his back, clutching his sides as he laughs into the sky like Dean just told the joke of the century

"Hey!" Dean snaps, his face feeling warm for reasons he doesn't have time to think about. "Answer the damn question!"

"No! Hahaha!" Cas says in between laughs, Miracle coming to his side to paw and bark at her owner

"Why the fuck not???"

"No I mean-" Cas takes a deep breath and wheezes, coughing into his fist as he tries to get himself together

Dean grumbles impatiently, popping a squat just to poke at Cas' arm to get him to answer

Eventually Cas' laughter does die down and Dean finds himself staring at just the biggest, smuggest grin he's ever seen on Cas

"I mean no, I did not marry Sam. And I believe he his reaction to you saying that would be much funnier than you asking me" Cas, for the love of God, giggles.

And it shouldn't be cute. Cas is an old man and he's giggling and Dean shouldn't feel... whatever the fuck it is he's feeling right now that's not frustration

But oddly enough he's not frustrated at all

he's relived

Is it because Sam's not gay or because Cas didn't go barking up his brother?

Why does that matter? It shouldn't. Stop thinking about it

"Dean" Cas starts, his laughing having died off and his smile softer as he stares up at Dean "Why do you ask?"

There's... there's a tone to Cas' question that Dean doesn't like. So, he does the one thing he's good at

He pushes himself up and shakes back into himself

"Well you weren't telling me jack, so I thought I'd throw in wild guesses and hope I predict something" A cool lie slip out but even he can tell Cas doesn't buy it

Damn it. Those eyes always seemed to see through him

Cas doesn't call him on his bullshit, but he knows. Dean knows he knows and it bothers him further

"Yes well. Perhaps if you keep guessing, the truth will come out eventually"

"yeah... eventually"

------------

Anyways. Drabble done. Doot doot

[essektheylyss]

Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game: paper

I had a few options but I went with the most fun one

Fjord surveyed him, and then picked up the paper he’d dropped on the counter and tossed it at Essek.

[august-parker]

Stupid domestic Avengers headcanons because I love them 🫶

-Bucky sneezes like a kitten and everyone makes fun of him for it (not Steve because Steve has that dad sneeze where he basically just screams and he knows damn well Bucky will make fun of him harder) he sneezed infront of a victim as the winter soldier once and they made fun of him before they died, honestly absolute legend

-Tony is the easiest person to scare, literally hide behind a corner and jump out and he WILL shit himself and then act like nothing happened immediately after

-Loki is forced into community service after the alien attacks, so you'll casually find a God picking up trash or at the library helping kids with disabilities read <3 he hates every second of it (no he doesn't) and Thor thinks its fucking hilarious

-Natasha uses the fact she's the only women as a weapon and she WILL gut the Avengers with it. Anytime anyone questions her battle plan or says they can't do a favor for her she immediately goes "is it because I'm a girl? 😐" and they fall for it everytime ESPECIALLY Steve because he grew up surrounded by sexism and doesn't want Natasha to think he agrees with it. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss real shit

-anytime you enter a room you HAVE to look up and make sure peter isn't asleep on the ceiling or he WILL fall on you. Sometimes multiple times a day you'll hear the worlds loudest thud and then shortly after hear his "I'm okay! I'm good!" he fell on Tony once and never stopped apologizing since.

-there is a very large note on the kitchen microwave that reads: "DO NOT PUT LAB EXPERIMENTS IN THE MICROWAVE I WILL KILL YOU TONY -pepper <3" he uses the work around of acting like he's busy and asking someone else to do it for him, pepper beat the shit out of him after it explodes. Rest in peace Tony Stark

-the hulk shit talks to Bruce all the time, not about him but about other people, like when Tony has a "therapy Session" with him hulk is just absolutely destroying him in his mind. "GET REAL THERAPIST YOU CAN AFFORD IT >:(" Yes, yes he can hulk. sometimes he says something so mean it makes Bruce laugh out loud and him and Tony just stare at each other like "🫢😐"

-Steve taught peter 40s slang and now they (also Bucky) are insufferable, Tony will be scolding him for doing something stupid on patrol and peter will just go "this is bum rap >:(" que Tony just stareing at him like "????"

-pepper is the only sane person in that tower this isn't a headcanon, it's a fact.

-Tony goes to Clint for "dealing with kids" advice as he calls it (it's really parenting advice) and Clint makes fun of him but he does give him actually good advice which is cute to me :)

-Natasha dominates at Mario kart she will pass the person in last place (steve) and then make fun of everyone for sucking once she wins

-Everyone makes the fics of peter calling Tony dad accidentally but I think I'd be funny if he called Bucky or Steve dad on accident instead and Tony getting SO pissed about it, peter was leaving the tower that day and Steve walked through the doorway as he leaves so they bumped into each other, Steve apologizes and moves for peter to pass by and peter waves saying "bye dad!" and immediately pauses, his face goes red and he sprints away leaving Steve like ":0" and Tony like "WHAT THE FUCK"

-everyone takes turns planning "team training exercises" like making obstacle courses that they have to work together to get past, even if its just those Mario kart days it's team building one way or another. When it gets to Peter's turn he never takes it seriously, he forces everyone to make cookies using only those dinosaur hand grabbers and secretly records the whole thing which is just everyone screaming at each other, he makes a surprise dnd game and Steve Accidentally blows up Tony using fireball and Natasha is going around pickpocketing everyone she comes into contact with, Bucky gets emotionally attached with an NPC and literally abandons the actual mission Clint rolled a nat 20 on flirting with the villain and Bruce is the only one following the story line. He makes a Kahoot game forcing everyone to guess triva questions on each other like "what's Steve's favorite color?" or "how long have you all been friends so far?"

I have more but I'll probably separate them into a different post for now :)

[muzaktomyears]

Two of Us play notes/thoughts/Easter eggs I noticed

they played solo Beatles tracks as waiting music before the play began so I sat there listening to ‘Monkberry Moon Delight’ with a theatreful of people which was great 

before Paul turns up John is baking(/burning) bread

John is wearing underwear under his dressing gown which obvs had to be but also my suspension of disbelief was CHALLENGED

when Paul rings up to be let in John does a little rhyme to make him prove he is who he says he is. this is not the exact wording but it went something like: "Five little boys in Hamburg did play/All through the night and all through the day/Ingrid the stripper would do anything/But who got the clap? Was it sexy Stu Sutcliffe - or the lead singer in Wings?" and then Paul has to admit it was him who got the clap

when Paul takes his shoes off he also takes his socks off - idk if this is an intentional barefoot Paul thing but it is hilarious later when they're fighting and Paul is about to leave and angrily putting his socks back on

John and Paul have Get Back era hair/beards, which is weird - presumably because they assume people going to see this will also have seen Get Back but might not know their 1976 looks as well?? idk

some of the dialogue and references have been made a bit more British - the skit they do at the piano is now set in a British greasy spoon instead (still with the American accents)

instead of fighting "like the Hatfields and McCoys" they're now fighting like "the Montagues and the Capulets" (👀)

'Sh-Boom' is played on the record player while they smoke weed (Paul uses the album cover to roll the joint)

George and Ringo both get more of a mention! Paul says that George is happy now (John replies that he's not happy, he's reincarnated). John tells Paul a story Ringo told him about going on a bus in NYC and being recognised.

"I'm the best fuck you ever had" is said by John during the fight (Paul replies "If that's your way of saying you were the real brains behind the Beatles-" etc. etc.)

"You should have married me when you had the chance" is said by John during the Yoko/losing my friend bit

"It's only me" as John's way to get Paul not to leave after the fight

when John goes out to get disguises for them Paul sits at the piano and starts playing some notes he finds there (he'd asked about them earlier and John had said they're nothing). we get a few notes of 'Now and Then' before John returns (ghjshgkhgkdshgksd who did this I HATE YOU)

the appearance of the I Love Paul badge!! John wears it on his disguise jacket and Paul asks what it says. John tells him and then Paul replies "Lucky Paul".......

they never go outside in this version - John says he'll go but then thinks better of it. this means that John comes across as even more locked away than he does in the film.

the police bit is sort of done when Paul puts on a leather hat from the disguises and pretends to be a policeman come to question John, who John then talks back at. he also yells out of the window at some police below at one point.

Paul realises they're never actually going to Luigi's, so John lays the table for him as if they're at a restaurant together (including calling him "Lady McCartney" and "my love")

the bit with the fan is sort of recreated but instead it's John asking Paul whether he truly thinks Wings at the Speed of Sound is the number 1 record in America (which obvs changes it quite a lot)

Julian is brought up - they're toasting to various people/things (ending with "Dr. Winston O'Boogie and Paul Ramon") and Paul says "to Julian" and sort of confronts John about him and how he treated him

during the toasting Paul also mentions "putting hair on a seagull's chest" which John questions and then Paul says it's something his dad used to say

I thought the lift scene/roof scene wouldn't be happening... BUT THEN a lift descended from the ceiling ❤️ the magic of theatre

the kiss still happens and idk but I thought the vibe was a bit different from the film version - less jokey (and no lines after about brushing his teeth/is my name Brian)

Paul: I bought into it that you and me didn't get along well (paraphrasing the Stephen Colbert interview)

they hug at the end of the roof conversation (I was sat very close to this since the actors come in front of the stage to do it and they were both crying and it WAS ALL TOO MUCH 😭😭)

John gets them two guitars to practice with before they go out and they sit opposite each other in chairs and Paul says “I know which one to begin with” and John says “What?” and they lean forward and then the phone rings

when Paul leaves John he’s crying and it’s like okay rip out my heart I guess

the play ends with Paul on the phone to Linda and John on the phone to Yoko, at opposite sides of the stage, and they say “I love you” to their wives but also to each other and it’s ridiculous????

yeah then ‘Give Peace a Chance’ plays which is such a bizarre choice idek

anyway who knows if it's a good play or what the actual people there thought about it because obvs I can have no rational reaction to it but I'm so glad I went to see it because someone on the writing team is one of us I SEE YOU

[sleepynoons]

nagumo yoichi x gn!reader, sfw, not beta read

cw: slight suggestive content, explicit language

notes: wait if you catch several typos/grammar mistakes, that's not on me, that's on ellipsus for constantly glitching out today and preventing me from making edits. this is a drabble, too, and i don't proofread those oops. anyway, i thought it'd be funny if nagumo also got into a relationship the same way sakamoto and aoi got together. i also think it's hilarious that the npcs in this series don't give a fuck lol. nagumo also comes off as weird af at first LMAO wait this was kinda meant to satisfy my belief that nagumo has a sleeper build iykwim - wait i'm realizing there are several references + tidbits in this piece so it'd be funny if y'all catch anything hehe

"WELCOME!"

greeting customers is arguably the least rewarding thing about your job. most people who walk in ignore you, some even look annoyed, and you hate public speaking in the first place. you think you lose five minutes of your life every single time you raise your voice, and those five minutes have probably accumulated to years by now.

you sigh. it can't be helped. another part-timer recently quit, and you can't possibly let the manager of this convenience store, an elderly man in his 60s, take on additional night shifts when he's already handling the early mornings.

besides, there are some pros. since the store is located near a university and a residential area, there are familiar faces. there's a group of computer science students that often drop by, and they play the occasional harmless prank on you. there's also that mother-daughter pair that buys frozen taiyakis every saturday as a reward for the daughter for finishing her weekly violin lesson. and perhaps the most intriguing of them all is a man that pops by every three days around midnight.

he wears the same tan trench coat, along with a loose patterned button-up and black pants. before winter set in, he always went straight to the freezer to fish out a popsicle, bar already in his mouth as he walked over to pay, but in the past two weeks, he's been opting for a cup of hot coffee and small packets of candy instead.

it seems he's craving sour gummies today. with a swift swipe of your arm, you grab and scan the barcode on the back of the plastic bag, and type in the amount for his drink.

"your total's ¥600."

"no discounts for your most loyal customer?"

startled, you freeze, determined to avoid eye contact. you've had conversations with other customers before, but never with him. he's always left as quickly as he came, so you're caught off-guard by this unexpected interaction.

"u-uh, not this time, sorry. i can ask the manager if we have a loyalty program, if you want."

the man hums as he nods happily and hands you two ¥500 coins. his unbothered smile unnerves you a bit, so you count the difference and return the loose change in personal record time.

but he doesn't leave, and instead, asks, "any thoughts on getting hitched?"

your spit-take's almost comical, but the absurdity of the situation takes precedent. "w-what now?"

"one of my co-workers recently got married to a convenience store worker, so i'd thought i'd give it a try, too!"

you're practically shaking from how anxious and overwhelmed this person's making you feel. it doesn't help that he's clearly not disturbed at all, which almost makes you doubt your own ethics and gut instincts. but, the more you think about it, the more you're sure there's something wrong with this man and not you.

"i-i, uh, well, i'm not interested in-in getting married right now."

"oh, that's a shame! guess i'll try again tomorrow!”

–

you wake up with a jolt, almost knocking the crown of your head into nagumo's chin. though, of course, there's no actual need to worry about that.

"hm, what's wrong?"

with a workbook on bayesian statistics in one hand, a pen resting on his ear, and his other arm folded behind his head, he looks down at you curiously. despite having just woken up, your head's never been clearer, and you sit up between his legs before looking behind your shoulder and shooting a glare at him.

you ask, "can i punch your face?"

nagumo laughs, probably already imagining your futile attempts. "sure! but can i ask why?"

"i dreamt about our first conversation, and it reminded me that you're kinda fucked up."

your boyfriend chuckles more, amused by your moral qualms. "you could say that."

the thought that your relationship is weird has never left you. you're (still) a simple convenience store cashier, and nagumo gets filthy rich by murdering people. you were never that interested in the world around you, having been too busy paying back student loans and applying to other jobs throughout your early adolescent years to care about other things, so when he told you about the JAA and the establishment of the assassin industry as a whole, you were shocked. but that's always as far down into the rabbit hole as you let yourself go.

from this view, with nagumo spread out before you, he doesn't look dangerous at all. if anything, he resembles a nerdy graduate student, thanks to his obvious passions for mathematics and reading. moreover, his short-sleeved t-shirt exposes his tattoo-riddled arms, and the bottom of it has ridden up, giving you a pleasurable view of his hip bones and happy trail. in fact, when the two of you got into bed together for the first time (don't ask how he succeeded in seducing you), you were surprised by his physique. his outside clothes certainly don't do his abs or biceps justice.

anyway, the point is, he looks like your fantasy of a dreamy, hot, geeky boyfriend, not your local professional hitman-for-hire.

you sigh. you're not going to punch his stupidly attractive face. you lie back down onto his chest, burrowing your nose into the crook of his neck. you do let yourself get away with a pinch to his cheek.

then, you mutter, "don't hurt me."

"i won't," he chirps.

nagumo presses the knuckles of his free hand into the knots around your shoulder blades and flips his book back open.

he knows you mean more than in the literal sense.

[somestorythoughts]

So. There is THIS hilarious post by, well a few tumblr people but @evilminji 's parts make me laugh a lot, where Lex Luthor is repeatedly trying and failing to kill Danny Fenton, to his immense frustration and Danny immense amusement. Then I read this fic yesterday when he keeps trying to have Dani killed cause she spilled the beans on some of his company's hinky shit, to Dani's general annoyance.

Cause there may more may not be a way to kill that which is already dead but it sure as fuck is gonna take a bit more than sleeping with the fishes.

So! I would like to propose a scenario in which Lex is trying to kill all the Fenton siblings for separate reasons! And they just.

WON'T.

DIE!

Danny's over here investigating crimes in his ratty suits like a feral racoon. Ellie/Dani's over there spilling the beans because this asshole's messing with her work. They must die, obviously.

Why did Jazz get added to the assassin's contracts? I'm not sure. One of her patients may have done some work for Lex and had a crises of conscious in her office that led to more than a bit of whistleblowing. Which fine, not great for Lex, but no need to go murdery over it just silence the ex-employee and steal the therapist's files. That's enough.

EXCEPT! He sees the Dr. Fenton on those files. Has some digging done. Realizes she's related to The Two Menaces. Is already contemplating going murdery over it just to get one member of this fucking family out of the way when the people he contracted to get her files come back empty-handed cause where the fuck is she keeping her records?

And then! It turns out that a few more of his people and various rogues are seeing her! This cannot stand!

Dr. Fenton is no easier to kill than her younger siblings. WHY is brainwashing heroes easier than this??

I really want to bring a redeemed Dan in here just cause. What I don't know is if he gets involved cause he ALSO pissed off dear Lexy or if he saw the tenth attempt on Jazz and went "I think the fuck not."

But it would be funny if the guy looked at Danny going "I like to eat the rich and I've decided that Lex Luthor is my next meal" and went "that looks like fun mind if I join?"

Alternatively, Dan is butlering/bodyguarding for someone Lex would really like to have killed (this post from @hdgnj also makes me laugh) and just keeps sending his assassins back with several bones that definitely did not look like that when they got the contract.

The last one was dropped off on his desk with a note that said "Seriously?"

Telling his assassins to switch targets to Dan does not improve things.

[mistercesare]

soooo we and my friend (@arrrrimo on twitter) were brainstorming a prohibitedwish roleswap au!!! and i made some concepts for it!!

more au info unfer the cut

God-Auditor!Prismo here kinda has his canon personality?? he is chill and fun and loved by everyone!!! but he is. terrifying actually. like he can get through any little crack, he doesn't get tired of running, and there's no predicting if he decides to let you off the hook or not

and if he lets someone go everyone will go "he's such a chill guy! how cool of him" and if he doesn't well he just does his job right?? so his reputation is kinda invincible but everyone are a little uncomfortable around him because well. he's still a god-auditor you don't wanna let him see your fuckups

AND WISHMASTER!SCARAB i love him so much actually

he's still you know a perfectionist jerk but there's no eons of pent-up rage and urge for revenge so he's much more calm

also he has no problem with everyone disliking him he likes his job he worked hard to get it and he does it as he should so everyone else can fuck off🥰

he hates when people wish without thinking tho he sees it as DISRESPECTFUL (and also he loves watching drama play out and missed opportunity pisses him off) we actually thought of a version of him and jake meeting like in canon with prismo and scarab being so mad at jake not wishing something important that he hands him a bunch of records and says to sit there until he comes up with something FITTING

scarab is interesting for prismo bc hes the only one who is not afraid if him. like he KNOWS he's doing everything by the book and there's nothing prismo can do. also scarab keeps sending complaints to orbo about prismo's work which is hilarious

scarab on his side starts off disliking prismo for not doing his job properly then starts disliking him even more bc now he constantly hangs around the cube and annoys him (scarab is convinced prismo is just trying to make him mess up so he can catch him red-handed) to you know. liking having someone around who listens to you infodumping ab multiverse

(pleeeaseeee check out these drawings by arrrimo!!! https://twitter.com/Arrrrimo/status/1711749762121077130?t=g4KX0wPydGkg0f1dO5vdrA&s=19)

[pharawee]

The newest ep of Pit Babe 2 is going to air in a few hours and I just want to quickly jot down possible theories on Chris' identity. For the record, I haven't read the second novel but apparently the show and the novel are so different from each other now that not even the readers of the novel have any clue as to who Chris might actually be.

Chris is Chris

He's literally just some dude. Which is hilarious but also, my sympathies.

He's Chris but... plot twist! He's Way's lost twin who's investigating Way's death - Playboyy style.

He's Chris but... plot twist! He's received cosmetic surgery to look like Way and mess with everyone. Tony's probably behind it. Goddammit Tony.

He's Chris but he can shapeshift. Tony may or may not be behind it. Either way, goddammit Tony.

Folie à deux. In reality Chris looks nothing like Way.

Chris is Way

Somehow Way has returned and he's fucking with everyone's mind again. He's also acquired a doctorate in Biology but hey, these things can be faked. All the science he's shown to do in the show is very basic, after all. The question is why would he even choose such a convoluted and risky method of returning when his former friends (Babe included) would probably just welcome him back with open arms. And Pete would worship him either way.

All of the above BUT IT'S FOR REVENGE.

All of the above but Tony's probably behind it. Goddammit Tony.

He's a zombie and it's a secret crossover with Zomvivor.

Chris is neither Chris nor Way

The real Chris is dead still in the US and someone stole his identity. This could be a mix of several possible theories - from secret twin to Way seeking revenge to Tony planting someone to manipulate and spy.

It doesn't matter

Change 2561 haven't thought this far ahead.

Change 2561 have thought this far ahead and there's a third season.

We'll just never know for the maximum amount of psychic damage. Now you know how Pete feels. 🌚

[gay-dorito-dust]

consider: batboys reacting to their s/o who is fucking obsessed with Viktor. like they keep rewatching all of arcane and over analyze and froth over that man. (me fr)

Tim is equally as interested in arcane and in Viktor just as much as you were in all honesty.

So needless to say season two act two broth the both of you, but you were taking it much harder then he was as you swore that Viktor will return as the machine herald in act three, you were being delusional but it was better to be that then accept that your favourite character was gone forever.

Tim would retort and say that the Viktor wasn’t entirely Viktor and would make a fucking power point made with incredible detail pointing to the exact moment Viktor’s character changed entirely. He, like many others, firmly believed that Viktor was corrupted or playing host to the arcane and sighting as Salo as a major reason as to why that might be.

You two would spend countless hours rewatching season one a week before season two came out and cried…Only to cry again somehow ever worse after season two with Isha being the brave little soul that she was. You’re both very, very delusional and hope that she’s somehow alive even though she most likely isn’t, which means jinx will become a menace and make it everyone’s problem.

You also agree that the commune was too polished and perfect to not have something weird going on underneath the surface, while also agreeing that Skye is what the arcane is disguising itself in hopes of using the guilt Viktor felt towards her death to its advantage.

Damian doesn’t watch shows unless you force him to.

He doesn’t find any interest in doing such things but he had to admit the art style of arcane had him greatly intrigued. That and the story was well written as were the characters complex with their ambitions, motivations and actions that they thought were right.

You going apeshit over Viktor however, expect to be on the brunt of his side eyes when you openly simp for the man of science.

‘THATS MY HUSBAND!’ You yelled and Damian swore he had became deaf after that. So whenever you’d visibly look excited to see Viktor -even though it had only been a few scenes since you last saw him- he’s bracing himself for the outburst you’d let out each and every time.

He comes to adore the show but not nearly as much as you however but he has to applaud the writers and everyone involved with such an enriching story and three dimensional characters and how it seemly the story is. After all it takes a talented person with a good eye to pull together a perfect story out of thin air. But other than that he picks up on the finer details that you might’ve missed yourself and you rewards him with kisses and hugs for doing so.

Much like Tim, Damian believes that the arcane is using Skye’s likeness to manipulate and corrupt Viktor due to his guilt over her death. He was all about destroying the hexcore but all notions of that seemed to disappear not long after the commune he builds grows in concerning numbers. Almost like an unsettling hivemind especially when they all die the way that they did.

Dick finds your attraction and or obsession for Viktor hilarious and would record you every time he came on screen, especially so when he had grown his hair out a little.

You were barking like a fucking dog for that man, foaming at the mouth and going absolutely feral as though you were going to leap through the tv and tackle the fictional character. ‘That’s my husband!’ You’d yell the moment you see him and Dick is pouting like a child as he crossed his arms over his chest.

‘I thought I was your husband.’ He says and you’d have to console your pouty man with a bunch of kisses and reassurances that he was still number one in your heart. Dick had doubts as he once asked you ‘if Viktor was real would you stay with me?’

Your silence spoke volumes for Dick who only pouted even more and you had to console him…again. You love your dickie bird and you had to reassure him the Viktor was fictional and not real, thus your love and attention would forever more be his. Needles to say he was a happy little pup for the rest of the day…that is until he saw your eyes glued to the screen whenever Viktor came on and shushing him so that you could hear his soft voice speak.

You swore you’ve never heard Viktor yell, well other than that one scene in arcane where he’s running but then again you were screaming at the screen along with him. Needles to say you were inconsolable when he died and Dick had to deal with you making a memorial for a person that wasn’t real and praying for his return as the machine herald.

Jason loves the story arcane tells.

Probably sees himself in a lot of the characters from the undercity/zaun to be honest as it almost reminds him of his time in Crime Alley.

Jason is a fan of a well written story as a man who is a lover of literature and theatre, so when you shown him arcane his ass was sat on the couch from episode one and was immediately hooked.

So when you openly thirst over Viktor and scream ‘THATS MY HUSBAND! LOOK AT HOW FUCKING PRETTY HE IS OH MY FUCKING GOD!’ He’s chuckling at your enthusiasm and your obsession with the man it was downright hilarious.

‘Do you like men with long hair?’ He asks teasingly.

‘I like men with intellect, dignity, a good heart and a little softie.’ You replied as you poked his chest. ‘Long hair doesn’t suit every man unfortunately, I think it’s got something to do with the face shape but yeah…I don’t think many could suit it as effortlessly.’ You add with a shrug of your shoulders.

Jason will be more than willing to listen to you as you go on about the theories you believe might be true in regard to Viktor, the hexcore and the arcane itself. He loved it when you get this passionate about things you love that he couldn’t help himself but give you a kiss on the lips each time you seem to be tripping up on your word because you were that excited to have someone to talk to about all this, especially if it was your beloved partner. ‘What was that for?’ You’d ask after he pulls away from the kiss.

‘You looked adorable and sexy when you talk theories and speculations for what will happen next, it’s a good look on you and I couldn’t help but kiss you.’ Jason replied as he kissed you on the lip once again and you were quick to talking about how Viktor had to come back in act three and how you think Viktor was being used as a puppet.

Jason throws in his thoughts and opinions but he just loved to sit and listen to you and admire that beautiful brain of yours.