#and with the same strategy that failed him 5 TIMES last year!

[theonlybluebanana]

BEN HEALY STAGE WIN???? MY BOY MY NUMBER ONE I KNEW HE COULD DO IT.

Literally so happy I stayed up to watch this one live. I was SCREAMING when he made the solo breakaway

[grilledcheese-savage]

Opposites Detract AU part 2

I left some things out but here’s a clearer picture of what the rest of the story would have been like.

Pls read the og post right here

https://www.tumblr.com/grilledcheese-savage/763805500110487552/new-au-idea-opposites-detract-i-came-up-with-this

For some reason it won’t let me link it normally

Ok so as you can see in the picture, Marinette is Multimouse… but is that all she is?

For the first “season” or less, she is a civilian. She is free to live her life normally without having to take any unnecessary risks. Until she runs into this old man (master fu) and helps him out. I always thought this would be during feast or a situation like that, where either he’s in turtle hero form and she acts as a shield for him, or helps him like the first episode as a civilian. Either way, Master fu remembers this. He tests her more than he did chat noir and la coccinelle because it turned out pretty poor last time. He has paranoia. But Marinette is a pure soul so he leads her to his shop and reveals the miraculous to her eventually, UNBEKNOWNST TO CHAT NOIR AND LA COCCINELLE. Because while he was hoping the next guardian would have been ladybug, he needed a person he could truely trust. And that turned out to be Marinette. She becomes the guardian for the same reasons in the original, it becomes to dangerous for him to continue and he loses his memory. But Marinette continues to work in his shop (a cover for guardian duties).

Lila and Adrien also “work” at his antique shop but neither of them know she’s the new guardian (yet) I’m not sure if they’d find out immediately after master fu has to quit, or Marinette keeps up the charade a little longer. I think it’s more fun to imagine her knowing more than she let on.

When she meets master fu at first and starts training under him, she doesn’t get to keep a miraculous. She works under a lot more conditions than the others do since her job keeping secrets is incredibly important and fu still struggles to trust her. Eventually she proves herself of course, but the pressure of being guardian is so much to handle.

Adrien was going to be a guardian at first since he gained more of Fu’s trust than Lila, but since he has the Kwami of destruction, just like that other guardian man that I can’t remember the name of, they all have some kind of bias against them. He couldn’t trust him not to take the miraculous of the ladybug and grant a wish, even if he kept that from him. He also just doesn’t get along with La coccinelle at all, so he couldn’t have someone with a bias be guardian (he’s hypocritical).

More about Adrien: As cat noir he doesn’t get to be his flirtatious persona he originally has, instead he takes on a more serious altruistic approach since he is pretty hated unanimously by the public. His persona becomes more of a lie, as he tries to undo all of the hatred that came from the destruction of Paris that first day. Think of goro akechi in persona 5; he learns to distain his constant visual presence, the fact on and off the job he is constantly being watched. There’s not a moment that either one of his selves is on tv. And because he’s being filmed there are quick moments the news capture of him being kind to the public and turning around with a resentful face on. He doesn’t totally get to enjoy his freedom as chat noir since the police always try to capture him. But they fail to, and there’s a still a small few of fans of theirs that defend them.

Basically he gets cancelled a lot. 😅

La coccinelle is allowed to pick a miraculous to help her ONE TIME by Master fu, and she picked Chloe Bougeious with the bee miraculous. Chloe accepted and caused a lot of mayhem. Which was fixed. But after that was when he met Marinette and started planning defense and strategy with her. So the next time they needed help, he sent Marinette as multimouse which pissed Lila off because it made her think master fu still didn’t believe she could handle it. When really it was a mix of both not trusting her, and the fact that Marinette was prepared for a lot longer then she was.

This makes lila have a one-sided beef with multimouse, even though she’s secretly her civilian crush Marinette. Love square? Ehh. What Lila doesn’t realize is behind the scenes Marinette doesn’t hold any ill-will for Coccinelle. In fact, she defends her to master fu and convinces him to give Lila more freedom more often. But of course, doesn’t know this. And the unspoken beef continues.

Now, for Kagami and Luka’s place in this story.

While Marinette is a civilian she meets Luka and they become friends very quickly. Same with Adrien and kagami. But at this point in time, Adrien doesn’t really have a crush on kagami, since the slippery slope of coincidences caused Adrien to have a crush on Marinette first. Kagami however seems to be the only one who sees this darkness brewing in Adrien (emo I know, but I digress) Kagami, does in fact, gain a crush on Adrien because she thinks he’s like her- lost in this world, without a lot of friends to help.

Luka and Marinette however, still get together but after Marinette becomes a guardian. They don’t last very long because of this, because her constant work between the bakery, the antique shop, guardianship etc. makes her late to everything they plan to do together. Luka ends things believing that Marinette only likes him as a friend and that’s why she puts work ahead of him everytime. This breaks Marinette’s heart, even though she understands, so she accidentally ends up saying in front of Adrien that she’s not dating anymore, and is focusing on her career. Marinette is oblivious to the fact that both lila and Adrien have a crush on her.

Marinette sees that Luka is responsible and puts his feelings aside for the greater good and chooses him to have the snake miraculous part time. When she is multimouse, she’s pretty awkward around him since things left off kind of sad, but since Superion doesn’t know that Marinette is multimouse, he just assumes she’s shy or doesn’t like him. This is obviously not true. In fact, Luka becomes the more “chat noir” type in this, teasing the group and very lightly flirting with her. BECAUSE IT WOULD BE FUNNY AND UNPREDICTABLE. I see him being very suave with his harp. Like every musician is lol.

Kagami and Adrien don’t work out either, because deep down, even if he is getting more resentful of being pushed around and molded into a person he doesn’t know, he still is naturally kind hearted and knows that his resentment won’t last….. hopefully. And Kagami only has that, and fencing in common with him, at least in this universe so they stay friends. Plus she meets Felix anyways.

Speaking of Felix. He.. generally stays the same? Here’s the difference, when he say them on the news on day he judged them. Then when he saw/ met more of chat noir, he started to believe that they were like him and saw the world the same way as he did and starts to commit similar atrocities in the show with the peacock miraculous in hopes that since they were the same, they’d leave him be.

Since chat noir is growing increasingly disdainful, he more or less does want to leave him alone, but the part of him that knows it’s his duty wins every time since he is , still, a little more responsible in this than the show.

Also a reminder, Adrien doesn’t start out like this, he’s still the show’s version at the beginning, he just changes with every situation they find themselves in. So when Felix eventually comes to meet him, he assumes Adrien is the same as always- a goody two shoes who does what he’s told. That couldn’t be further from the truth 😂

Adrien is similar to Felix but still mostly tries to act like his old self, since it’s easier and gets him places. But when Felix comes over and is cold, Adrien gets frustrated and his resentful, chat noir self comes to life. Felix was so stunned by the slip up that he just, shut up. And left. Very confused.

Anyways I have many different ways of imagining Felix seeing the more contemptuous Adrien. He becomes much more interested in him. He wants to learn more, because maybe he’s not alone.

Idk what do you guys think? Should Adrien be the guardian? What would Alya’s role be? Pls reblog more ideas and add on to the AU!

Thanks!

[mikasaerens]

We need to have a very serious conversation about everything that went wrong.

1. Joe Biden is a problem. Kamala had barely ANY time to campaign. The second they realized Biden was unable to win (which all those campaign officials SHOULD have since it’s THEIR FUCKING JOB) they should have had him announce he wasn’t seeking reelection. Instead, they dragged this to the very LAST minute and look where that got us. Kamala did not have enough time. Trump had the last 4 years to campaign.

2. Trump’s gains with Latino men/women cannot be ignored. How THE FUCK are you going to vote for a man who thinks y’all are rapists, thieves and criminals? This man deadass thinks you people are “poisoning the blood of this country” the Nazi dog whistles are out of control. It’s giving Jews for Hitler. Same for non whites who voted for Trump.

3. White women (who voted for Trump) are not voting against their self interest. Their self interest IS RACISM. Y’all dumbasses really thought white women would let a Black Indian woman become President before a white woman? LMFAO. They voted to overturn abortion bans in a few states, so they got theirs and left everyone else in the dust.

4. Young men (18-35) have become incredibly radicalized and hateful against women. This is a very serious problem and frankly extends to boys younger than 18 as well. The new generation of males is hateful, racist, and incredibly sexist. This is their definition of “cool and edgy”

5. Trying to get Republicans into the base was a failing strategy. Republicans did not vote for Kamala. I’m not sure who TF did vote frankly since turnout was abysmal.

6. Trump is dangerous but incompetent. The people around him are even MORE dangerous and VERY MUCH COMPETENT. This Presidency will be unimaginably effective and horrible. Do not get complacent.

6. Regret will come and whether it comes swiftly or not- time will tell. A lot of those that voted for Trump will end up hating him by the end and we will be in big trouble by then.

[seriouslycromulent]

The Math Ain't Mathing

So I'm sure people are going to accuse me of being a conspiracy theorist, but the more I think about the results of this US election, the more it's clear that things aren't adding up.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm well aware of the US's long history of racism and misogyny, and it is totally possible -- in theory -- that more people voted for a moronic straight, white male who is an ajudicated grapist and convicted felon over a more-than-qualified, intelligent, results-driven woman of color for a position as leader of the wealthiest nation on earth.

I'm not saying that couldn't happen. But did it? Legitimately?

The more I think about Trump's campaign, the more fishy this result seems.

So here was a man with ...

virtually no policies (that he could talk about openly),

no ground game,

no door knocking apparatus to urge folks to get out the vote,

no phone banking,

he was constantly running out of money and had to shill products to raise more,

stole money from down ballot candidates, putting their marketing strategies at risk,

found liable for SA,

found guilty of millions of dollars in fraud,

constantly rambles and shows clear signs of being mentally unwell,

invokes violent and hateful language against specific communities as well as individuals,

bragged about being a dictator on Day 1,

had over 40 former cabinet members declare him unfit for office,

was called a fascist by his own former chief of staff,

was not endorsed by any reputable economists,

saw a flood of lifelong Republicans -- literally millions of them -- abandon their party to vote for his opponent,

has been impeached twice,

has seen sharply, dwindling crowd sizes at his rallies for the last 6 weeks,

... and somehow he won the popular vote by 5 million?

Even though he never won the popular vote in 2016? Or 2020?

Suddenly he "found" a bunch of votes from people who liked him?

Um, no.

Just no.

One of Trump's biggest failings is that he and his team tell lies like children. That is, they've never learned how to keep things believable. Like a misguided 10-year-old who is desperate to impress someone with his whopper of a tale, he always exaggerates to the point of hyperbole and insults our intelligence.

For example, he told us his rally at Wildwood, NJ, this past summer had 108,000 even though the town itself only has 80,000 residents and the venue he held the rally in only held 20,000 people.

Or how he kept insisting that American kids are going to school and somehow receiving gender reassignment surgery over a couple of days and without parental consent before being sent home.

Each lie is so over the top and grandiose it makes him look infantile while at the same time insults our knowledge of reality.

And that's exactly what this feels like.

There is no way this man won the majority of the votes and the popular vote after only winning due to the electoral college the first time and not at all the second time. More people vilify him now than they did in 2016 and 2020, and that's saying something.

There just aren't enough voters in the US to give him a clear path to victory here no matter how committed his sycophants are to white supremacy. MAGA voters are not the majority of the voting electorate.

Also the fact that the exit polling data is suspiciously similar to the same tall tales Trump's been selling for the past year about how he had a ton of support in the Latino and Black communities, despite there being no data to support it at all. He was polling damn near 0% in some majority black communities like Detroit and Atlanta.

Yeah ... no.

This math ain't mathing.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I know when something isn't adding up. And nothing about these results add up at all.

On top of that, they ran their entire campaign like they didn't care about people getting out to vote. They kept insulting different segments of the electorate over and over again, as if they didn't need the votes of single people or people without children.

Plus, we saw record voter registration leading up to the election. More people voting early in state after state, and millions of people voting for the first time in their lives. But somehow there were fewer votes cast in this 2024 election than in the 2020 election?

Hell, Georgia alone tripled its early voter turnout. So how is this election getting fewer votes than 4 years ago?!

There were historically longer lines than ever before in parts of the country that never saw long lines, and yet there were millions fewer votes counted so far this year? Are we really to believe that all those long lines and so many new voters managed to only add up to 136M versus 158M who voted in 2020?

I call bullshit!

Also, a number of folks are commenting on how quickly the states were called. In all my years of voting, I've never seen a US election turning around so fast.

Yeah, the math ain't mathing.

Sure, he could've eeked out a win via the Electoral College without the popular vote like he did in 2016, but given her momentum and the majority of the polls either favoring her or having had them tied, none of these results pass the smell test.

Meanwhile, Harris had a multigenerational, multiracial, multiethnic, multigendered coalition of enthusiastic supporters who volunteered, phone banked, door knocked, and fundraised in every state plus D.C. Her media strategy was savvy, her interviews were sharp and intelligible, and her demeanor was inclusive and congenial. Again, not putting anything past good ole American racism and misogyny, but all the data showed that her supporters were clearly larger in number and more enthusiastic than his.

Long story short --

I do believe we are witnessing the American government being hijacked and a dictator installed right before our very eyes.

[earthtokhal]

So, supposedly HM wanted Daniel gone in Spain, a week after Daniel qualified p5 and brought the car back to p8 despite the 5 second penalty that wasn't his fault.

In that same weekend, Yuki qualified p8 and finished p14 and Perez qualified p16 and DNF'd.

They brought new (rushed and failed) upgrades to Spain that did not work but one driver performed, the other one couldn't move.

The sad thing is that PR/RBR is banking on people to use their bias against Daniel and believe that what they did was the right thing.

But the funniest part of all of this is that we remember how they were speaking before the break, we remember everything they said about Perez. We also know what the articles wrote. We also know that HM said that what Perez did in Spa was not enough and we can see it in the championship.

This all leaves me to wonder, did the PR department also walk out with Newey because they are digging themselves deeper in a hole.

What absolutely annoys me is that no journalist or presenter will actually question them. Nobody will ask about the fact that in the last ten races they averaged YT: 15.2 , DR: 11.9 and SP: 11.3 and overall, YT: 13.2, DR: 12.6 and SP: 8.2.

As DR supporters, we actually pay attention to his and Yuki's races. From the start of the year, Daniel, regardless of where he was on the grid actually made overtakes. A typical example was Singapore, he fought from last to p12 before his tyres died and his incompetent team waited for him to lose the position before pitting him while Yuki doesn't really make overtakes. He usually benefits from dnf's or strategy.

The one time other than the Miami sprint where it was looking likely that we would get points with both cars, Yuki made an error and dropped down.

I think when you look at it like this, whatever they're saying actually sounds -for lack of better word- stupid. Because how do you justify keeping SP in the seat with his sponsor's son kekeing in the qrts when his performance has been dismal. He hasn't had a solid performance in months, Baku was not the norm, it was sadly the exception.

How can anyone be so shameful as to say that Daniel was underperforming when that is happening on the other team. The excuse they've been given about the car not being built for him and it showed signs of issues since last year, that was a dig at Newey and nothing else. It was probably to make it seem like they weren't failing because Newey left and they were failing because of Newey.

How can you be so shameful and say he isn't performing but you also know his ability and if Perez or Lawson fail, he'd be your guy.

Right now, whether they are able to successfully shift the narrative or not, I think the ball is in Daniel's court.

I really hope Daniel's team is coming up with a plan but even if they aren't, I don't think they will get away with it. Do bad things to good people and it will catch up with you one way or the other.

[chussyracing]

My fave quotes and notes from Total Competition by Ross Brawn and Adam Parr (under the cut)

PSA: I read the Czech version so some quotes may vary depending on my translation. I use Tumblr like a big library for when I need to find something, which is why you are seeing this.

the top teams are made by more than 1000 workers (as opposed to the smaller ones)

if you look at the development during the season, cars can be 1-2 seconds faster at the end of the season in comparison to the start

nobody ever won a championship with a bad car :))

if an F1 driver lifts a foot of the throttle, it equals Porsche 911 driver stepping on the brake full force

strategy is not only the plan for one GP and it has three subparts - political, economical and technical

F1 has always been a technical competition, you have the same set of technical regulations and then each team can build a different car

Ecclestone originally wanted teams to be able to buy full cars as customers (not just PU, chassis etc.), but that could be the end of individual teams like Williams

if they had bad results in a team, they tried to compensate by being a team that companies would like to invest in (hiring women to the leading board, being the pioneers in hybrid technology...)

putting all power into hands of the only leader is never good for any sport, it is worst in F1 knowing Ecclestone's history

when Michael became the WDC for Ferrari in 2000, he was the first Ferrari driver to do so in 21 years

luck is preparedness that is waiting for opportunity

as a team principal, you are supporting the faster driver, no matter which one it is, but you cannot digust the second driver or he will stop being constructive, cause problems in the team and have secrets

Michael was extremely well paid, just because he did his job best out of everyone, but he would be doing it for a fraction of that

if you competed against Michael, you knew you have no space, if you left a centimeter of space for him, he would take ten of them

when you are walking around Ferrari, you have to ask yourself why they are not winning everything, they have unlimited testing and two testing tracks, nice new aerodynamical tunnel and a great factory, amazing workers - some of which were third generation working for Ferrari

the most frustrating thing was almost winning the championship in 1997, 1998 and even 1999, because the championship was always decided in the last few races

if you got into the emotional phase during work, you failed

the first priority when coming to the team was make sure that people get back their confidence and aren't afraid of getting fired immediately if they make a mistake

in years 2000-2004 when they won both championships, they were the first team in history to do so 5 times consecutively, but despite that they had a lot of problems, but they had a great approach to them and their solving

one thing he was totally unprepared for in Ferrari was the attention from media, in Italy there are three religions and two of them are football and F1

everyday he found a batch of newspaper cutouts on his paper, but he found it crazy to put the pressure on the workers like this too, so he stopped that

after they got James Allison in the team, they convinced Adrian Newey to come too, but that lead to James losing trust in the team, later they realized that stability is the most important thing in this department

the best strategists in F1 win before they get to the grid

winning means you are better in technical department, but it also gives you political influence and economical influence

it's great when an underdog wins but this is not how championships are won in F1

Frank Williams said that the differences between Michael and other drivers are: intelligence and technical understatement, physical condition and of course just the fact that he loves driving

in F1 there are many cases where teams have a big budget and fail, but you cannot success without a big budget

you know some technical rules are extremely hard to measure or there is no way to measure them at all and if you talk to FIA delegates before, you know that you have some base if you need to go to court later

F1 is probably the only sport in the world where changing the rules changes up the order of the competitors

the previous Concorde Agreement [active during writing of the book] said that not al teams can work on making the rules

when you come to a new team, you need a year to get to know everyone and everything, a year to fix the mistakes and then start winning in the third year

good cars aren't the finished product of winter development before the season but a few years of development at least

in a team you need workers to trust you even if you disagree with each other

Bernie Ecclestone loves making problems and then solving them

but Bernie is also clever, he knows if he wants a deal with all the teams, he just needs Ferrari to sign it and everyone else will follow

when they were supplying PUs to other teams in Ferrari, they gave them PUs from previous season, never the uptodate ones

FIA isn't active, it is reactive - they do not think ahead, just react to what happens

we hired someone from Benetton, when i found out he brought a lot of info from the team we had to fire him, because you can suppose he will do it again with your team

Red Bull has always been a team that didn't think too far ahead

if there were new rules coming in a few years, he assigned a few people that only worked on that future project and nobody could bother them with anything else

Bernie's forced changes to quali are funny, because it is just a try to change up the order of the teams but top teams will adjust better and quicker and the ones at the bottom will still suffer

i always had meetings about someone's pay personally, if you delegated it to someone else it would be impersonal

he always let the people on the team come on the podium after a win, because he knew it's the best thank you for a well made job and only went there himself once in Monaco 2013 when he already knew he would be leaving

Michael was the same, after a win he enjoyed the most to celebrate it with everybody

it has no meaning to get maximum downforce when you don't know how to use it afterwards

they only implemented an improvement if the costs were proportional to the time advantage on track

their main strategist was James Vowles and they prefered only one to choose what is the best for both drivers

he let both drivers know which strategy/run plan the other will get just so there are no conflicts between them

there was a running joke that Flavio Briatore just doesn't greet anyone

Ross prefered to let people who deserve it go up on the podium to represent the team after a win, Flavio went himself

Jean was mathematical genius, he didn't need a calculator

F1 is not like evolution, if you take a wrong direction, it will take you very late to get back

the rate ratio between performance and cost in F1 is still too high

the marketing of Ferrari is Formula 1, they don't need anything else, they just need to be winning and they can make a fortune

human or machine what is more important? both, that's why mid drivers become world champions

technical companies love F1 because they come up with innovations and if they lend it to F1, they will have feedback in 5 months, if they gave it to aviation they would be waiting for years

the only place where you can allow a conflict is on the race track and even there it has to be between you and other teams only

[l00na24]

I Got Your Six - Chapter 4

Warnings: PTSD, Drugs, Dark themes

Word Count: 9.8k

A/N: I'm sorry I kept you all waiting for so long but finally our boys are here 😍 This was a whole roller coster but I enjoyed so much writing it! Just wanna put a little warning again here that it will get a bit dark at some point, so please be aware!

3 days later, 5 PM, Florida, Pinellas County

As Santiago entered the boys’ changing room in the gym where Benny’s fight took place today, he got greeted by Will for a second time, having already met him a few hours earlier when he listened his speech at the Veteran’s community center where Will was working, after coming back from Columbia for over 3 years.

He had hoped that he was able to at least convince the boys of his plan for the recce, since his first shot with the one person he hadn’t seen for years had gloriously failed.

He hadn’t expected her to come, hell, even that she would read his letter he had sent her. But when she was standing there in front of him in that café, he thought he was dreaming for a moment, couldn’t quite believe that she really had followed his invitation. He had never forgotten the day it happened, the one thing that seemed to haunt him forever. The moment they had lost her for good. It was imprinted in his brain and that would never change, regardless how much he had tried to forget and get over it the last years. And now, after he had met her again, it felt like it was yesterday. Before everything fell slowly apart. They weren’t the team they were before anymore after it happened, no, they never had been the same team again with the most important part missing forever. Her, the heart and soul of the team that kept them all together like they were one being. Every single one of them a different part of it but equally important to the whole unity. A unity that was torn apart to never be whole again.

The moment he had looked in her eyes for the first time again, he knew she wasn’t the same. She looked the same but everything else was so different that he wouldn’t have recognized her if he wouldn’t have known her. There was something to her he didn’t know. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he sure as hell didn’t like it. The way she had spoken to him with a coldness in her voice and eyes she never had before, like she would’ve wanted to kill him right there in an instant if he would’ve made one wrong move. And the way she blew up at him at the mention of the other boys or her reaction toward the waitress, not to mention how she had addressed him. Santiago had kind of felt like he was back to the day in that building again after they had found her, when she had driven that knife in the wall next to Tom, shaking with anger. It was the first moment in his life he had felt something close to fear besides the part when they found her. That day it wasn’t their girl, their little, fragile butterfly, that had been standing before them, it had been an entirely different person none of them knew. Something dark and twisted from the original.

All of them had paid the price for losing her differently.

Santiago had busied himself with constantly thinking about their next mission, strategies, plans, whatever he could find just so he was occupied all the time and couldn’t let his mind wonder over different things. After he retired, he had thrown himself headlong into his work with the DEA down in South America, only to realize at some point that there would be always a part of her with him, regardless what he tried to do. There was no escape. And when the chance arose to finally get a shot at Lorea, he knew he had to muster up the balls and at least try to ask her if he wanted to get the whole team back together for this.

But would she even want to hear anything from him after they never had tried once to contact her for 8 fucking long years? He knew he deserved all the hate she would have for him, for what they had allowed to happen but secretly another part of him had hoped, she would still feel at least a little bit of this special connection they once had all shared. His answer came right the moment he had opened his mouth, making it clear that she didn’t want to hear anything besides what he wanted to talk about with her. He didn’t know what he expected her reaction to be but certainly not the one he got. It felt like someone had stabbed him and dug long, sharp claws deep into his skin to rip him open right after. So the only thing he could do was the one thing he was good at, pretending that it didn’t hurt him and play the tough soldier he was, getting straight down to business like it was the most casual thing in the world.

Santiago was still somehow holding on to the small hope that she would maybe change her mind and call him. She still had time, he told himself. And he had yet to tell the others about it but with that he would wait till the very last second until he could be sure what her final decision would be. If she wouldn’t come, there was no point in revealing to them what he had done but if she did… maybe it would give them a second chance. Just maybe.

“What'd he say?” Will questioned, referencing to their friend Tom, Santiago had visited after coming to Will first, blue eyes looking at his Spanish brother as he stopped slightly left of the bench the older Miller was sitting on with a black hoodie and a dark blue shirt underneath, blue jeans and black shoes.

“He's taking a look at it.” Santiago answered, hoping he could convince their captain to join his plan to get Will on board too. “He may not be up for this.” He warned.

“You know he's the best with something this complex.” Will pointed out, still holding eye contact. “And he needs this right now.”

He knew Tom hadn’t been doing great after he had been forced to retire at some point and all the stuff that had happened between him and his wife Molly that caused them to split. The only things he had left were the two girls they shared and he still took care of and the job he had to sell condos around town, which he wasn’t good at and didn’t like anyway but it was better than nothing with supporting two households and the bills he had to pay. Will visited him from time to time, making sure he was doing somewhat okay since they didn’t live far from each other like mostly all of them except Santiago who was most of the time in Columbia.

The captain was probably the only one that didn’t take it that hard than the other four boys. Not that he didn’t care about the girl in their group, but they were never that close, him being the difficult man he was and having a family anyway. It was never more than a kind of platonic friendship among teammates if you could’ve called it that, but it still hurt him too to a degree to lose her so unexpectedly.

“All right.” Leaning with his shoulder against the wall beside him and putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket, Santiago looked around the room for a moment before turning back to Will, hearing the loud, roaring crowd from outside in the background.

The older one of the Miller brothers was a different topic. Everything went quite literally downhill for him after the loss of their girl. He had met his fiancé one time when he was back in Florida, she was kind, caring and everything he could have wished for and yet she could’ve never compared to her. She always had been his most important anchor, knew him like nobody else did. Could read him and the signs by his body language.

Only she wasn’t there that time when his PTSD reared its disastrous head again when he was standing in that cereal isle. It was like something inside him just snapped and he wasn’t in control anymore. He nearly had killed that man before his fiancé had even noticed what was happening and desperately tried to stop him, to get him out of his furious state. First it seemed that all her attempts were futile, screaming and pleading to Will to stop until she jumped on his back in one final attempt to snap him out of it. Thankfully it worked and he instantly let the man go, not knowing what had happened as he looked into the pale face of the gasping man he had in a deathly headlock seconds ago and the tearstained and fearful features of his fiancé that had gotten off of him, not knowing how to handle the situation and what she had just witnessed.

That’s when she had decided she couldn’t be with a man like him any longer, too scared of Will and what he was really capable of despite being together for a few years and already engaged. So, she broke up with him right after it had happened, left him as fast as she could in the middle of the chaos he still hadn’t fully comprehended. His PTSD never had been a problem back then with their girl because she was the one he could always ground himself on when he needed to and if the rare moment came where it threatened to overwhelm him, she was there before it could even begin to escalate, soothing him till he managed to push through it. There was always this special understanding between them where they didn’t need any words to communicate because they complimented each other perfectly.

The man thankfully refrained from pressing any charges when he heard about the reason of Will’s action. Only throwing some curse words at him and telling him to get it under control before he would kill anyone. Will had never felt more worse and ashamed in his life than in that moment. It was the second time he had lost the one thing that was most important to him which caused him to be more reserved than he already had been, giving up on finding someone that would be able to take him like he was, like she did.

His little brother Ben had been angered beyond belief when he heard what his fiancé had done and how much she had hurt him after he had arrived at the Publix store to pick up Will. They always told each other everything, having been even closer after they lost their most important girl because they needed each other to lean on, to find a way to continue somehow. The older Miller brother had barely gotten over the loss of their girl but with his fiancé leaving him too, that was it. So he focused on his daily routines, counting all kinds of things like he always had, giving motivational speeches for veterans and retired soldiers, helping Ben with training for his fights and occasionally meeting with the guys if everyone had time and Santiago was in town.

But there had been an emptiness inside of him he couldn’t fill. Regardless how hard he had tried to ignore it and to be happy with his relationship before it evaporated into thin air, it just wasn’t the same, it would never be. The part he had lost the day when he had lost her.

To him she was the most beautiful crystal there ever was. Breaking the light in a gorgeous kaleidoscope of all possible colors if it hit just at the right angle and reflecting her personality absolutely perfect. But the brighter the flame of a candle burns, the darker the shadows around it grow, right?

“This shit is fuckin' depressing.” Will huffed while he leaned his body forward on the bench.

“C'mon.” Santiago winked at him with his left eye. “Let your brother have some fun. Support him.” He said with a slight laugh.

“I've been supporting him since the day he was born.” The older Miller countered, sitting upright again before he continued.

“That kid's a one-in-a-million talent, going out there, playing the fucking clown to a bunch of hillbillies.” Even if his face didn’t show how he really felt about what Benny was doing, his voice made it clear, that he didn’t like how his little brother wasted his talent with shit like this for only a few hundred dollars. He knew he was more worth than that but being his older brother, of course he would support him with everything Ben was doing. Those two were inseparable since Benny’s birth and nothing would ever change that, which meant if one would go somewhere, the other would follow, no questions asked.

The loud banging against some lockers suddenly filled the room, followed by Ben’s loud mouth before he rounded the corner in only his red shorts with Frankie in tow, that was wearing his signature ‘Standard Heating Oil’ cap, a light brown leather jacket with a blue shirt underneath and also blue jeans.

“Ah, yeah, where are my corner men?”

“Holy shit, look who it is!” He greeted Santiago with widespread arms when he saw him, flexing them upwards and puffing his chest out before he brought him in a tight hug.

“What's up, Benny?” His Spanish friend greeted back, while embracing him with a wide smile.

“Oh, holy shit!” Ben commented when he lifted Santiago a bit off the ground, holding his friend to him and being happy to see him after such a long time again.

“Oh, God!” The salt and pepper haired man groaned out when he had the floor back under his feet after a few seconds.

In the meantime Frankie went over to greet Will with a hug and a pat on the back that the blonde man returned while looking over the pilot’s shoulder at the interaction between Ben and Santiago before pulling back a little and shifting his gaze to Frankie.

“Hell of a night for you to show.” The younger Miller looked at his friend for a moment, holding his right shoulder and giving him a light pat on the cheek that Santiago returned with one on his right arm.

“It's great to see you, man.” Pulling back with a wide smile on his face, he watched Ben moving over to his locker.

“You as well.” The dirty blonde returned on his way.

Ben had been hit the hardest by everything out of all the boys. Being the one who had always been the closest to her, following her like her own shadow, like a moth drawn to a flame, bound to burn to ashes at the slightest touch.

It was like his heart had stopped beating and his whole world had crashed down on him. He was an absolute wreck for months, his smile erased from his face for a long time like his otherwise so bright and cheerful character. Ben was like a ghost that was trapped in nothing but a hollow shell, his once so sparkling blue eyes, drowned out by a darkness that threatened to swallow his whole being with it. He felt like he was crawling in his own skin with no way out.

Everything he had loved was ripped from him in nothing more but a mere moment, so suddenly that he couldn’t understand. Will had tried to be there for him as best as he was able to besides his own struggle but even he knew there was nothing that would help his heartbroken little brother to get over the most important person in his life. The one girl that had meant absolutely everything to him, more than his own life. She was his goddess he wanted to worship and the ground she was walking on. His guiding north star, shining brighter than anything ever in existence that he’d follow to the end of the world and beyond.

She had been the one who had shown him what true love was and what it felt like to be cared for unconditionally. His other half that completed him and was everything his older brother could have wanted for him in a girl.

But all good things come to an end eventually…

Ben had been forced to do the one thing that seemed impossible to him, to live without her. Never feel her touch again, hear her voice, her laugh, never look into these gorgeous eyes of hers that captivated him every single time because they bared her entire soul to him. The only options left for him were either to lay down and die or to try to safe himself from the dangerous edge he’d been falling off.

At the beginning he had considered the first option, to be finally free from this gut-wrenching pain inside him he couldn’t get rid of. But the soldier in him didn’t think about giving up, the part that was still holding on. It had never been an option and now wouldn’t be any different. Only that it wasn’t as easy, even if he tried to fully focus on their missions and after they retired, on his MMA fights and Will, who kept him occupied. It only had held for so long till the nightmares were back and the darkness that had never left him ever since he had lost her crawled its way back up and threatened to suffocate him anew, being completely exposed and vulnerable to it because the protective wings of his precious and beloved butterfly had been severed for good.

The promise he had given her with the words ‘I go where you go.’ now broken and empty with no more meaning behind it. Like his entire life that had lost its purpose.

It took over 2 full years for Ben to even start to try and recover from the hole that had been torn inside him forever. He might have won the war with himself afterwards, but he had lost the most important fight before it could even begin and he paid the price for it with the part of him that died in it. Like his butterfly in the last flicker of the light.

“¡Ey! Cada día eres más feo. (Hey! Every day you're uglier.)” Frankie said while he walked to his Spanish friend and gave him a playful clap on his butt with a big smile.

“Ah, pequeño pendejo. (Ah, you little asshole.)” Santiago chuckled, bringing him also in a tight, brotherly hug with a pat on the shoulder.

“Qué bueno verte. (Good to see you.)” He added before pulling back, glancing over to Ben again as the pilot went to the bench where the younger Miller was now sitting and putting on his fighting gloves.

Will watched their embrace the entire time with a grin on his face, pleased to see them all together again besides Tom, who had yet to show up because he had to drop off his daughter Tess first like he told Santiago on their drive to the gym.

Frankie had been struggling equally. Not in a million lifetimes had he imagined it to happen. To lose the balance to his darker side, the one girl that carried all his burdens so weightlessly on her shoulders like it was nothing, as if they didn't affect her in the slightest. Her presence alone enough to scare every dark thought in his mind away.

The pilot had suffered just as much as his friends, the endless guilt he felt never leaving him, constantly swirling around in his head to remind him of his biggest mistake.

When he had met his wife, he thought he would be able to move on with his life but turns out, like his brothers, he couldn’t. It had felt like the right decision but after he had married her, that quickly changed. The only things he could think of being that he didn’t deserve to live a normal life, regretting every single choice he had made from the point of no return that had thrown him back into a familiar spiral he couldn’t get out of or all the blood on his hands and the many deaths he had caused. He closed up on himself, giving his wife no chance at all to get through to him anymore and when he wasn’t able to take it any longer, he knew he had to look for other ways to help him out. On some days he had felt like he literally killed their girl with his own hands, her blood staining his skin in a dark red color. The images always following, the memories on a never-ending repeat, looking what he could’ve done different to change the ultimate outcome but only coming up with the same frustrating result each time.

With every passing month, his relationship turned into a more dysfunctional one for both sides that did nothing more but damaging him even further than he already was. The divorce following at some point as the consequence and sending him back to point zero. And that’s where the real shit started for Frankie, with their most important girl gone and his wife divorced then too, there was no stopping him anymore. Not even his flying had been able to save him from himself.

He knew where he had to look, knew a few guys that had exactly what he wanted, what he needed actually. If he wouldn’t drown out the demons that haunted him day and night, he’d go insane. He knew that and he had to find a quick and easy solution for it that nobody would notice, not even his brothers when they visited him or met together at a bar to spend some time with each other to make sure everyone was doing okay or that wouldn’t affect him too much when he was in the air from time to time.

He had tried quite a few things, each worse and more dangerous than the other but nothing helping to numb him enough to not have to think. Until he came across coke. Whatever presented itself was good enough to try it out, so he didn’t hesitate and was surprised when it actually did the job, the only thing he had wanted for so long. To be at piece for at least a little bit, not having to care about anything and quiet his mind.

But the longer it went on, the more careless the pilot got until he had been busted a year ago and lost his flying license. Not that he had felt like shit already, but that had been the blow he had seen already coming if he was honest with himself. So, with clipped wings he had been bound to the ground now, not being able to fly freely anymore. But maybe that was exactly the wake up call he had needed to get his shit back together. Shortly after he had looked for professional help to get away from his drug addiction, knowing it had never been a solution in the first place for his problems.

Never once did he have to resort to anything like drugs or other things when their girl was still with them. It had been already enough to look at her atop of her throne, her crown like a halo above her head. The one very being they swore to protect with their lives but had royally failed to do so. They had been sending her straight into her own death, ignoring their one and only task for a moment and not caring about the possible danger they had put her in. She had given them everything they had ever needed, no matter what it was, being the light to their darkness and they had paid it back with severing her trust in them in return.

“Did you boys get my text? Yeah? Fish?” Santiago took a few steps to the nearest locker on his side and leaned against it with crossed arms over his chest, looking between his two brothers expectantly and stopping on Frankie.

“I need a pilot. I can't do this thing without you.” He added, emphasizing the last word in hopes it would be enough to convince him.

“I don't know, man.” The second Spanish man of the group kept his eyes locked to the bench underneath him, still unsure about his friend's plan and if he really wanted to involve himself in it.

Will was silently following their conversation, his eyes on Santiago the entire time until Frankie turned his head around to meet his gaze for a moment before looking back down to the bench.

“What... What does that mean?” Stubborn as he always was, Santiago wouldn’t let him off that easily, fully knowing if he was persistent enough, the pilot would give in eventually and join him. Like he always had.

“Did you read the text? This can change your life forever.”

“What happened to that bullshit about going back to your mother's homeland and empowering the people to police themselves?” Letting out a heavy sigh when he stood up and walked over to the lockers on his side, the pilot leaned against them and crossed his arms while looking at him. Of course his Spanish brother would say everything to get him to join, it had always been like that.

The man in question only chuckled softly at his comment. If it weren’t for Lorea, it might have already happened.

“Anyway, I lost my license. I can't even fly right now.” Frankie hadn’t gotten a chance yet to tell him the full story but he wanted to be honest with his brother.

The older Miller lowered his head upon hearing that. He and his brother were already in the picture with his whole drug ordeal and the consequences of it. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by them and they found it out eventually, supporting him and his recovery as best as they could, like the team they still were.

“Well, I don't need a pilot with a license.” Not giving in to his rejections, Santiago took a few steps toward him and put his hands in the pockets of his pants, still eyeing him.

“I'm in with the army down there. I just need a pilot I can trust.”

“Yeah, I don't think so.”

“Okay.” The salt and pepper haired man sighed and let out a chuckle, it was going as good as it had with Y/N. It was time to try another approach yet again.

“Lorea is destroying that country.” Santiago explained, walking up and down the changing room while Frankie busied himself with watching Ben taking his black shirt out of his locker, that had been silently listening their back and forth besides the preparations for his fight like his big brother, that didn’t let them out of his sight the whole time.

“So we get to take out a very bad man, and oh, by the way, there's a winning lottery ticket stuck to the bottom of your cowboy boot.” He elaborated and pointed at his friend's shoes to accentuate his message, telling the pilot indirectly what he would be missing out on if he didn’t take this chance.

Having heard enough and giving the younger Miller space to put his shirt on, Frankie moved over next to his Spanish brother with a shake of his head. Whatever he would say, his friend would always find another argument against it.

“Every guy in that gym would jump at this.” If Santiago wanted something he didn’t let it go, all of them were well aware of that. He wouldn’t take a second ‘No’ as answer. Gesturing with his hand in the direction where the crowd outside was already watching a fight to get his point across.

“Come on, focus, guys! It's fight night.” Ben interjected Santiago’s speech with a raised voice to remind them why they were actually here.

“Yeah, don't worry about that bullshit.” His older brother joined in and stood up, walking to him and eyeing the two Spanish men on the way.

“Sorry, Benny.” Santiago apologized quickly.

“You ready for this?” Will asked with a challenging gaze at the dirty blonde.

“Hell yeah.” The younger Miller answered enthusiastically with a smirk, ready to take on his next fight.

“Let's go.” The older blonde gave him two brotherly pats on his right cheek as encouragement before he shut his locker closed and all four men made their way toward the gym.

🌿🌿🌿

“I didn't mean to call your shit bullshit.” Frankie spoke up after being quiet half of the way, giving Santiago’s right arm a clap from the side to get his attention, to apologize for what he had said before.

“It's all right.” Santiago chuckled in return, knowing he hadn’t meant it.

“I got busted.” The pilot finally told him, not wanting to keep it from his friend any longer. “It's not a big deal.”

“Actually, it's a big deal.” He corrected himself quickly, realizing he shouldn’t downplay what had happened so easily.

“Coke?” Santiago asked and looked at him intently for a long moment. He hadn’t heard much from the Millers about it when he was in town sometimes but it was enough for him.

When the pilot only held his gaze and didn’t answer him, he let out a sigh.

“Jesus, Frankie.”

“Technically, it's a suspension. I'm still under review.” Frankie elaborated, not really liking how Santiago’s reply actually sounded and maybe to convince himself that it wasn’t actually that bad.

Both not breaking eye contact until Frankie clapped Will’s shoulder to change the subject.

“Well, what about you? What are you gonna do?”

“I said if Redfly's in, I'm in.” Will answered his question honestly, looking at him and Santiago when they walked next to each other behind his younger brother.

“Come on, stick with me here, guys.” Ben spoke up and looked slightly over his shoulder to them. He wanted the guys to focus on his fight rather on the plan their friend brought with him right now.

“Oh, I'm with you, Benny.” Santiago confirmed him. “But are you with me?” He asked, glancing at his frame from behind.

“Are you in?” Not getting a direct answer from Ben, he inquired him again.

“You know I am.” The dirty blonde replied shortly after, holding his gaze fixated on the entrance to the gym ahead of them.

“I go where you go.” He added the words that once held so much more, not only to him but their whole team. Not letting any emotions cross his face.

“That's what I thought. Benny stands tall.” Satisfied with Benny’s answer, Santiago patted him in a brotherly gesture on his back and put a hand on his right shoulder that he barely reached from his position next to him with their height difference.

While they walked the rest of the hallway to the entrance, one of the other fighters with possibly his trainers walked by with blood all over his head and bare, fully in tattoos covered chest, displaying what a possible outcome of a fight could look like.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing six foot three, weighing in at 195 pounds, I bring you... Ben Miller!” A man announced when they were reaching the entrance. Standing there for a moment until loud heavy metal music blasted through the speakers in the gym and continuing their way out one after another through the roaring crowd to the fighting cage in the middle.

Fate had other plans for the ex-delta soldiers tho… like always.

They didn’t notice that their once most important person was only an arm’s length away from them, hidden in the surrounding crowd and following their every move with the watchful eyes of a predator.

🌿🌿🌿

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing six foot three, weighing in at 195 pounds, I bring you... Ben Miller!” A man announced loudly through the speakers of the gym we currently were in.

Me and Luc had arrived 1 hour earlier and were patiently waiting outside till the fight would start, making sure that nobody would be able to notice us from our position as far away and hidden as possible but were still able to see who entered the gym. I didn’t need to accidentally run into them before I actually wanted it to happen and Santiago didn’t need to know yet that I had changed my mind.

We saw both Millers and Frankie getting out of the car they pulled up with 30 minutes later, making their way across the parking lot that was already packed. As soon as my eyes had spotted even the slightest glimpse of them, I averted my sight because I didn’t want to see more than I would have to later.

Not 10 Minutes after their arrival, Santiago got out of a truck after he had spoken to someone in it and handed the same red folder he had shown me before through the passenger window. That someone being Tom, as I identified when he drove away, spotting another person sitting behind him that looked like a younger girl. Was that one of his daughters? She was probably the reason why he didn’t stay. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for him in case he came back because I didn’t need him to ruin my plan. All of them had a real talent for that.

But he didn’t reappear when we carefully made our way inside a few minutes before the fight was about to start.

The crowd that awaited us in the gym was huge and there wasn’t much room to move. Both things I already couldn’t stand. Why would you come here voluntarily?

Luc and I had our guard up as soon as we passed the entrance, him making sure the way in front of us was clear and nobody would be behind me, and I scanned the room for possible threats or the guys. We didn’t need to try to communicate with each other over the volume of all the people inside to agree, that we would take a spot a little bit offside the entrance so that no one would bother us and we would have sight of mostly the whole room while using all the people effectively as our cover.

We were standing in there probably for only 2 or 3 minutes when the fight I already dreaded to see got announced. I wasn’t sure how much of it I could take till I had to get out.

The pure mention of his name alone was enough to raise goosebumps all over my body.

But before my mind could wonder into places I didn’t want it to go right now, loud heavy metal music filled the gym and peaked my attention. Luc was already looking at me from my right side, his gaze telling everything what was about to come any second and cocking an eyebrow at me. I was far from being ready.

As everyone began to roar and cheer, our heads turned to the spot where we could make out some movement out of the corner of our eyes.

I didn’t even need to search for him, my look automatically finding him in an instant as he came walking out on one of the far ends with his big brother Will, Santiago and Frankie behind him toward the cage in the middle of the gym.

“This is your special man, hm? I can see why.” Luc’s voice suddenly reached my ears and pulled me out of my paralyzed state but still having my eyes glued to the person I thought I’d never see again.

He looked still the same, like all of them. The only missing thing was his backwards cap. I couldn’t even remember the last time when I had actually seen him not wearing one. But even without it he looked… Just stop already, Y/N! Don’t you dare and think of that!

“He isn’t.” I replied without emotion, stressing the last word and banning all thoughts of him from my mind while continuing to watch his every move.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” My teammate chuckled while he leaned against the wall behind him and crossed his arms, not believing what I said.

“And I thought it was a good thing that Mick stayed at our base this time.” I breathed out and shifted my look back to him. The rest of the boys had decided to not come with us to make it easier to go unnoticed and to not make this harder for me than it already was.

“That’s why we’re brothers at heart.” Luc retorted and held a hand over his heart with a grin on his face, trying to relax me.

“Yeah, no need to remind me of that.” I answered and let my sight wander over to the four men again.

Ben and Will had nearly reached the cage when I noticed someone walking out of the entrance not far away from us into the mass of people. I saw enough to know that it was the last person that had been missing to complete the team. Knew it.

Of course Tom would be here at some point too when the others were there, so predictable. Some things never change.

Santiago and Frankie were talking about something as they stopped halfway when they spotted Tom coming toward them with three beers in his hand that were sold in this place. Good that I never was drinking any alcohol cause otherwise I probably would have had around ten already. Especially when I looked back to the Miller brothers, Will standing directly outside and banging with one hand against the fence of the fighting cage and shouting something to Ben, who was now standing inside with his opponent facing him.

Holy shit.

I regretted immediately that I didn’t look away when I saw that he was now only wearing some red shorts, his upper body completely bare and the toned muscles of a warrior for everyone to see and showing how fucking gorgeous he actually looked underneath his clothes, like he and every little detail on his body had been perfectly sculpted from god himself.

Those big hands that could bring death in the brink of a second but could caress you so featherlight at the same time and hold you so carefully like you were made of glass. His arms that held the strength to break and build everything he wanted without any effort, his blue eyes burning with a fire so powerful to set your whole body aflame with the slightest look but also held a vulnerability in them like he gave you his very soul. His cheekbones, the curve of his nose and the sharp edge of his jawline that accentuated his perfectly shaped face and his surely plush lips that looked so kissable and would make you melt on the spot. The intimidating mere seize of his huge frame together with his sharp mind and the heart of the most gentle giant that loved so honestly and with such a limitless loyalty.

He was the most perfect human being I ever saw. The one I wasn’t worthy of.

Damn him for waking these feelings again that I had buried so deep… I shouldn’t feel like this…

“You look like you’ve never seen him shirtless before.” My teammate joked next to me with an amused grin, having observed me the entire time and breaking my stare.

“Some people are polite enough not to look, you know?” I gave him a sharp look from the side.

“That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Luc snorted, shaking his head in disbelieve.

“He always made a joke out of it…” I sighed and lowered my head to the ground, closing my eyes for a moment and remembering the times when I accidentally caught Ben like that or when he took off his shirt right in front of me just to catch me off guard and make one of his comments about my embarrassed reaction. He hadn’t a single fucking clue what exactly he was doing back then…

“Maybe he wanted you to?”

“Sure, cause I wasn’t only his teammate.” I replied sarcastically with a laugh that escaped me and looked back up to him.

“Do you even hear yourself talking? I might not know everything but the things I heard and a certain someone told me, are obviously indicating that this wasn’t just one-sided.” Luc fixed me with his famous ‘You and I know I’m right’ look.

“He was never supposed to tell you in the first place. But believe what you want, I’m not the foolish, little girl I once was anymore.” I said coldly, blocking out everything I thought about previously and averting my eyes to the boys we were here for. I wouldn’t make this mistake a second time. I would never let anyone that close to me ever again. Not even him.

The trio with the two Spanish men and the captain continued their way on the side of the cage to one of the front rows. Santiago did the same Will had before and shouted something to Ben while hitting the fence with his hand a few times. Not that any words would change how the fight would end. Call me a heartless bitch for that thought but we all know it’s the truth. There was only one possible option anyway, anything else was unacceptable.

But back to the boys, shall we? In the meantime Tom went over to the older Miller, exchanging their typical brotherly hug with a pat on their backs. I kindly ignored the woman walking by inside the cage in her flimsy outfit that barely covered anything, holding up a sign to indicate round 1.

Afterwards the trio sat down on a bench like mostly everyone else in the gym, occasionally sipping on their beers while Will resumed his position in the corner of his little brother. Not gonna lie, I was curious about what they were talking because I knew that certain look in their faces when I saw it. Since all were together now and remembering the red folder Santiago had brought with him, there was no way that they weren’t speaking about his idea. Will seemed to join their conversation shortly after when he turned around and hunched over to them. The single nods of each that followed, confirmed what I had already suspected. None of them would sit this out, if one was in, all were. Ben was out of question since he’d always be with his big brother, I was sure that hadn’t changed too.

Santiago’s wide grin and the pat on Frankie’s left arm gave it away. He had gotten what he wanted, every single life of them was on the battlefield now. We could only wait and see who would survive this deadly play in the end… Good that they had an ace up their sleeve they didn’t knew about yet.

“And here we go!” The announcer’s voice rang through the gym and all people that were sitting jumped up from their seats including Frankie, Tom and Santiago, the previous silence gone and replaced with loud shouts and cheers. Will clapped his hands like a few others and had his eyes on his brother and from how it looked, giving him a last encouragement from behind.

The referee that had gotten inside the cage held his hand in the middle of both fighters and looked from Ben to his opponent before quickly retreating and starting the fight all had been waiting for, besides me.

Ben had already zeroed in on the other guy, the look in his eyes one that I had only seen on missions when shit got serious, there was nothing of his always so bright character but a steely and hard one of a soldier. They slowly walked toward each other and as soon as they touched gloves, he took a punch to the left of his face and I immediately jerked my head away to the side and shut my eyes, not wanting to see him getting hurt like that. I could literally feel the pain like I had been hit myself and exactly that brought something up I never wanted to experience for the life of me again and I could feel my body reacting on it.

“You good? If we need to leave-” Luc picked up on the signs and came closer as a precaution in case he needed to step in.

“M’ fine.” I tried to ground myself but felt the embers that had been smoldering deep inside of me starting to ignite with the fatal spark they had been waiting for all this time into a roaring wildfire, feeling the hot flames already boiling the blood in my veins.

My mind just blanked and there was only one thought flashing in bright red before me ‘Kill him! Rip his head off! Snap his neck! Kill him!’. If it weren’t for Luc who held me back, I would’ve actually done it.

“You have to stop yourself. Come on, focus on me.” He stepped into my line of sight that was locked on the other fighter to get me to pay attention to him and not murder someone in the middle of a full gym. “He’ll be okay, it won’t help if you kill the guy.”

Thankfully nobody had noticed yet how hard my teammate had to fight against me to keep me from spilling blood. The monster inside having been freed and being on the trail of its prey, ready to land the death blow and wanting to retaliate against the pain that was inflicted.

“I get how badly you want to hurt him but you can’t go out there.” He carefully touched my arm to test the waters and see how I would react, rubbing it up and down soothingly after making sure I wouldn’t attack him before he joined our hands and gave me multiple squeezes to deescalate the situation.

“Let. Me. Go.” I threatened and sent him a menacing glare, punctuating every word and trying to get out of his iron grip he had on my hand. I was so far gone that I didn’t think rationally, there was no difference between right and wrong anymore.

“Do you wanna expose us? Want your boys to see you like this, Y/N?” Luc countered unbothered and looked me straight in the eyes. He didn’t show the slightest trace of fear although he knew this was more than serious and I wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him to get what I wanted.

“Get out of my way or I’m gonna make you regret it.” I said in a low voice and straightened my stance, making it visibly clear that it was a better choice to back down before I would resort to more drastic measures.

“We both know you need more than that to scare me off.” He scoffed, daring me to show him how far I was willing to go. It wasn’t the first time he had to witness what happened when I lost control and knew how to handle it.

Oh boy, really shouldn’t mess with me when I’m pissed off.

Gritting my teeth at him, I tried to break free again but he didn’t budge and only raised a challenging eyebrow at me to show me who had the upper hand right now.

But before I could do anything, the crowd erupted into loud cheers and our attention went instantly back to the fight. Ben had landed a right hook on his opponent, that looked like he had taken some good hits in the meantime and was struggling to regain his balance. A satisfied feeling rushed through me in that moment, wanting him to feel as much pain as possible, and Ben to beat the shit out of this guy. He deserved it.

“See? He can hold his own. You don’t have to protect him.” Luc thought he had the situation under control but joke’s on him, he made everything much worse with his last sentence and realized far too late what had slipped out.

His words echoed around in my head without pause and drove me to the edge I had been teetering around, waiting for the final push that he had just delivered.

“You’re dead!” I snapped and narrowed my eyes to small slits before I made a more violent attempt to get out of his hold so I could wrap my fingers around his throat, but he still didn’t think of letting go and hardened his grip instead.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it! You need to calm down and snap out of it, I know you can.” Without giving me time to react, he let go and pressed me to his body.

I tried to get away from him when I caught up with what he did but he was too strong. Thrashing around violently but to no avail.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to relax. I’ve got you, Y/N.” My teammate continued and waited patiently till my fight against him would die down eventually, countering every try I made. If I managed to get out, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold me back a second time.

“You’re okay, just breathe.” He tried to soothe me and caressed the side of my neck with his thumb slowly.

We stood a few minutes like this until he felt me beginning to relax and he softened his hold carefully.

“There we go. You left me for a sec there, not liking your man getting hurt, hm?” Luc chuckled unfaced and looked down at me after he pulled back a little, still holding me.

I just looked perplexed at him, too scared to say something as I came back to my senses and feeling my heart hammering against my ribcage and the adrenalin rushing through my body.

If he hadn’t been here with me, this would’ve ended in a mass murder.

The thought hit me like a freight train and I shivered. A small part of me was afraid of myself but the bigger part loved the idea of it.

How it would have felt to see their life leaving their eyes, wrapping my fingers around their throats till their last breath left them or how their precious, red life source decorated the whole floor… How much pain I could have caused… and how good it would have felt…

“Hey, are you with me?” A soft touch on my cheek interrupted my thoughts before they could’ve gone even darker.

Nodding, I took some long and deep breaths to settle back in the present and get down from the high I had been on.

“I-I’m sorry.” I apologized with guilt in my voice, not wanting to hold eye contact any longer but he didn’t let me.

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay, Y/N. I know.” Luc assured me with an understanding smile and stroked my cheek.

There was not really anything that could shake him, he wasn’t scared of me like he should be, hell, like everyone should. He never looked or treated me any differently despite all the horrible things I had done and was there when I couldn’t handle myself anymore.

Shouting and clapping filled the gym all of a sudden again that felt way too loud for my ears and made me wince. It was like a sensory overload together with my head that still tried to follow along and comprehend everything at once.

“It’s probably better if we go.” Luc suggested with slight concern and eyed me warily as he took his spot next to me.

“No, I want to watch.” I replied and tried to pull myself back together.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Y/N. Don’t force too much onto yourself, please.” Both of us knew I was too stubborn to allow myself an out right now, but I appreciated his worry.

“I can handle it, I promise.” I affirmed and shifted my attention back to the fight I had been mostly ignoring. I was playing a dangerous game with myself in this moment, but I wanted to remind me how fucked up I really was. That the things I felt and the thoughts in my head were far from normal, that I wasn’t normal and never would be.

Collective ‘Uh’s’ and ‘Oh’s’ were heard when his opponent tried to land a hit on his shoulder, but Ben ducked away to the side before he fully reached him, like he had anticipated that guy’s move way ahead before he did it and delivered justice right back to him with a heavy punch in his stomach. Technically it was an unfair fight because Ben’s senses were trained for much more than this little cat and mouse game he had going on with that poor guy and he should be able to knock him out cold in a matter of seconds. He hadn’t been a combat expert for nothing. But I guess they didn’t want to replace a new corpse every fight, not that he’d go that far anyway since it was a sport after all. But isn’t that the thrilling part to play with danger? That he could kill him so easily if he only wanted?

I had to give credit to the guy that he was still standing and hadn’t given up yet, but it wouldn’t take long till he would need to at least take a break if Ben continued like this. In contrast to his opponent, he looked more than fine, like he just got started.

They circled each other when they had gotten some distance between them, predatory eyes following every small movement and calculating their next move.

Ever as impatient as I remembered him, Ben chose to strike first and leaped forward, his look fixated on his target as he closed the space between them. His body language indicated that he aimed for the guy’s left side, but I quickly figured out that he was only pretending and instead was going for a direct blow under his jaw with his right hand and sending his opponent full force on the ground that hadn’t seen this coming. What a brilliant move. Trick your target into believing the wrong things and then strike.

“Damn, that was a nasty one. He definitely knows his shit.” Luc commented from beside me with an impressed tone and looked over from the corner of his eyes, checking for any indicators that I was about to act out again but after finding none, focusing back on the fight.

The crowd clapped and roared in excitement when Ben’s opponent laid there for a few seconds and the referee had to check up on him if he was able to continue the fight. How their horrified screams would sound instead?

It seemed like that guy wasn’t about to accept that he didn’t stand a chance as he got up again and back into his fighting stance, blood running from his nose and mouth. Ben definitely had landed some good punches on him and thankfully not the other way round.

The look in his eyes that he was sending Ben now had me tensing tho, he sure as hell wasn’t happy how their fight was going and must be planning something to turn it around in his favor. He was out for blood, but he wasn’t the only one. They inched closer toward each other carefully after the referee had released the fight a second time until the guy decided it was his chance to strike and quickly lunged at him. Ben stepped to the side to avoid his incoming attack but was greeted with his opponent’s other fist that came flying to his chest area and nearly knocking him off balance. He just made sure I would crack every single bone in his entire body, and I’d absolutely enjoy doing it.

But Ben’s punch in return was faster than the guy had probably thought it would take him and he took a blow to the right side of his face, smearing more blood across his features.

Luc was right, I shouldn’t be doing this and instead should be disgusted at myself but the truth I had to admit was, that I would do what I could, to have that feeling crawling back again that actually made me feel alive. That I rather live in the dark than see the light.

The fight continued on with a constant back and forth between the two fighters, like the main event had finally started. Of course it happened as it had to and Ben got too cocky for his own good, probably thinking he could easily overpower his opponent with some quick combos now but got punished straight away for his mistake with some painful hits that had me back on edge and nearly running to the cage.

Scratch what I said before, I didn’t regret a single thought I had previously. This guy had to be taught a lesson. A damn good one. RIGHT NOW.

“Y/N!” My teammate had gripped my wrist in an instant as he saw that I was about to rush forward and jerked me back.

“He’s gonna pay for that.” I seethed and glared daggers at the fighter, my pulse shooting up once again.

“But you won’t be the one to do that. Ben will handle it.” Luc reasoned and tried to keep me in place next to him and not cause any unwanted attention on us.

“I’ll handle it and nobody else.” I growled and shifted my gaze to him. I’d gladly fulfill his death wish in a fucking heartbeat.

“You come back to yourself first before I let you do anything else. Come on, we’re going home. I don’t want you doing something you’d regret and have you on the title site of the newspapers tomorrow.” He countered as the sound of a bell indicated that the first half of the fight was over. The people around us going wild about the prospect of what was to come in round 2.

“I’ve seen enough of this depressing shit anyway.” I answered emotionless and let him drag me out of the gym with one last menacing look behind me.

Guess I had an important call to make.

None of them could have known what butterfly effect it would cause…

A/N: As always thanks so much for your support, every single one means so much! ❤️

The boys don't know yet what they're in for... 👀

If you enjoyed feel free to reblog, like and comment! 🥰

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[mygainyear2024]

Day 18 Delayed

After not one, but two pastel de natas before my dance class at the gym, and a homemade sardine tosta I walked 5+ kms to my third language lesson via Clarice, in Alvor, for a proper latte ☕️

I tried to video the garbage collection system near my apartment but failed in my timing. The collectors were also looking at me strangely as I held my phone up to film!

I did get a better shot of the cute dog that looks out over the neighbourhood with interest. I had a brief chat with the owner to confirm he's only two. Noticeably, there are lots of dogs, as well as learner drivers and pastelarias.

After the fun language lesson, practising conversation starters and replies, I had an interesting conversation with a retired fireman, Gary from Ireland 😉 I noticed Gary at the first lesson. He seemed broodish, but I think he may be an introvert, if that's possible for an Irish man? Although my depth of experience with Irish men is limited to one!!! (Yes kids, I know he had a problem with alcohol and you thought he was gay, BUT he did make great duck fat baked potatoes!) Today Gary came with his lesson notes neatly stored in plastic sleeves in a folder, but he said "que interessante" with as much enthusiasm as a wet fish. Rebecca asked him to be a bit more animated. I think his interest must have peaked in me when he heard me saying, in terrible portuguese "sou impragada do estado" which translates to "I am imprisoned by the State". I'll need to check this with Rebecca at the next lesson, I'm sure there's a better way to say "public servant". I'm also "dona de casa" which means investment property owner, but it also means housewife!

Gary wanted to give me lots of advice about superannuation. I’m sure he was well intentioned but I feel quite informed 😂 Sadly the teacher is taking a break next week so I’ll miss Gary, but I’ll ask around, apparently he is a member of a walking group and I need to do some more walking 😜

I’m now getting ready to have dinner with Rosie at Restaurante F in Praia da Rocha. She’s messaged me this afternoon to invite me to a book launch tomorrow night at Irish Rovers, que interessante!! She also said “We will also go tonight to listen to the band after dinner” Stay tuned….

So dinner at Restaurante F was pleasant. I had high expectations (from the number of Facebook comments after I posted the request, “recommendations for best restaurant with ocean views and I don't care for steak!) and also when I saw the selection of breads being wheeled around on a trolley and a separate aperitif menu. The bread (cornbread, pumpkin bread and plain) and two butters were delicious, the shared prawns ok and my first cataplana of octopus, clams and sweet potato (Algarve stew cooked in copper or stainless steel pot) tasty, rounded out with the shared crème brûlée and bottle of rosé, not cheap comparatively at €50 each. But, the company was definitely worth it. Rosie regaled me with fabulous stories about her relationships and the number of suitors she has at the moment. And as a supplier of gummies to some of her cruise tour members (it’s legal in Canada)😂 She certainly lives an exciting semi retired solo life.

We then went to Irish Rovers, and yes that same bartender made a beeline for Rosie and started his lines on me. I reminded him that he'd already made me a cosmo last week and I'd heard his BS! Later I did give him a hard time about how long he'd been using those lines on women at this pub (six years!) and had it ever worked (no) and I suggested it might be time to come up with a new strategy. The band were pretty dreadful, actually it was mostly the lead singer that did have Rosie and I in stitches. His voice was not loud enough to be heard over the instruments (probably for the best), and I couldn't work out if he was Irish, Portuguese or another nationality. Rosie said he looked 100! Are white singlets on tattooed older lead covers' singers still a thing? And he was drinking red wine. It was too many contradictions for me to manage, given I don't go out to these kind of venues at all. I did say to Rosie twice that a strong female lead would fix this situation. Rosie knows the owners, Martin and Jenny. They weren't pub owners in Ireland, but have owned Irish Rovers for 10 years and according to Rosie it's the most successful pub in the Algarve. Martin was in the band on keyboard (and I thought he could actually sing) and Jenny was behind the bar. At one point she quickly came over with three shot glasses of some creamy beverage and said a hurried hello, downed the shot, and went back to the bar. Apparently the book launch is for a Portuguese poet that Jenny doesn't know, but she wanted to be supportive, stay tuned...

Rosie did tell me about a fantastic Thai massage she had, so I've tracked down the salon and the therapist and booked myself in for this afternoon.

[rei-ismyname]

Oh boy there is so much going on here. The start of the rehabilitation of Xavier's 'dream,' the erasure of anything Cyclops achieved, the polite fiction that the whole 'endangered species' thing didn't have Magneto and Xavier deferring to Cyclops, Logan proven right in the Schism bc the narrative kept the genocidal threats away, nobody mentioning that Logan was trying to kill Hope, or that he was the Avengers' expert on The Phoenix for some reason. You know that bird that killed the creepy perfect crush he named the school after, but when Tony Stark's arrogance puts Scott in the same position he's a villain.

The idea that 'we' failed 'him' as if Xavier hadn't spent most of the last 5 years as a pariah for very good reasons. Whatever 'did it our own way' means, as if that isn't one of Logan's defining characteristics.

IT'S NOT A SIMPLE THING. It's straight up delusional to claim so. It *should* be but people are shitbags. 'Chuck only saw one path' as if that's something to be proud of. 'Protecting those who hated and feared us til they stopped' said with a straight face as if it's a rational strategy. As if bigotry has ever been solved through the permission of the oppressor. As if decades of the strategy have led anywhere but ruin. There were less than 200 mutants left in the world until very recently, yet that mission never stopped. It maybe wasn't as effective as usual, on account of every threat being a genocidal one. Logan's class there would have been the last, but Hope and the Phoenix changed that. Good thing he didn't kill her. Almost as if Cyclops was Right and the Avengers messed everything up, kept poking the bear, then villainised the guy possessed by a cosmic entity against his will. Their fantastic idea of training Hope's body, mind, and spirit felt a little familiar. Oh yeah, that's what Scott was doing. We need to convince you he's a villain so we're telling you he was wrong and the guy who committed suicide by Phoenix was a saint.

Keep in mind Cyclops is in a maximum security solitary confinement and about to be moved to a for profit prison to be shanked. Held by a government that has sentinels and has never stopped building them. Chuck 'died without seeing his dream come true' is something that will always be true. It's not actionable. It's emotionally manipulative. Why is this man telling children this? Mutants have just started being born again - that's a win.

Look at the book it takes place in, too. Uncanny Avengers, the token, b-grade team that is too little too late, if it's even helpful. Why aren't there more mutants in the Avengers? That would make more of a difference than creating a remedial team for the non-humans. Scott and Alex's conversation gets cut off but Scott makes good points. I got you.

My dude didn't summon the Phoenix. It's the first thing he'd say. He didn't ask to be possessed, that was Tony Stark. Chuck and Mags both explicitly passed the torch to Scott as an evolution of their obsolete methods. 'Btw your dead wife is still dead.' What a dick.

That's not what happened. Xavier was on Magneto Island too. Alex has been one of the most unreliable X-Men ever. It's not something he wanted to be doing. He's bailed on the dream countless times, if he ever believed in it. He doesn't have a leg to stand on criticising Scott like this. I wonder if he enjoyed cleaning up after the 'dream' when their other brother resurfaced. Dead dad, space war, billions dead. Brainwashing traumatized teenagers woo. Clearly they don't teach The Socratic Method at Xavier's.

He's being blatantly tortured and is muzzled by the narrative because his response would break the premise. At worst, there should be shared accountability for the disastrous events following The Phoenix's visit. I don't buy The Avengers as the good guys in the event. If I'm being charitable they're control freaks. If I'm not they're the antagonists of a story who got away with their mistakes by scapegoating one guy for his actions while possessed by a cosmic abstraction.

At least they gave his dud brother a job though, right?

The Funeral of Charles Xavier

Uncanny Avengers #1 - “New Union” (2012) written by Rick Remender art by John Cassaday & Laura Martin

[ideas-on-paper]

Gamescom 2024 résumé

It’s that time of the year again when Gamescom has come to an end after 5 intense days of playing Steam demos, and after sobering up from my "gaming beano", it's finally time for me to collect my own thoughts - or, at least that’s been my usual experience of it in the past few years (I haven’t been there in person since 2019). While I did my “mini reviews” for indie games that I tried out on Mastodon, I’ve decided to publish my general résumé on Tumblr this year, since I have quite a few thoughts that I wanted to take the time to address in detail (and frankly, I just didn’t want to put up with Mastodon’s character limit and a mile-long thread of posts). So, without further ado, here are my impressions of Gamescom 2024.

First off, let's start at the beginning: Opening Night Live. My opinion on this year's ONL is essentially the same as the previous years: pretty okay. I should mention, however, that I don't really care about modern triple-A gaming - the stacks upon stacks of open world graphic marvels with a maximum of uninspired game design just bore me to death.

The only thing that could've made this showcase potentially interesting to me would've been an announcement of the Lies of P DLC - however, since Neowiz wasn't even among the exhibitors, any hope I had for that deflated before Gamescom even started. (It's strange, actually - Gamescom would have been the opportunity to announce it if they're sticking with the release window of late 2024.)

One good thing that ONL did though was reminding me to check out Ara: History Untold. I was already intrigued by it when I heard about it during last year's Gamescom, and since the game will release soon in September, they finally showed some more extensive gameplay. It's strange that despite being such a big strategy fan, I've never played a Civ game before (except the Nintendo DS variant I had as a child where I lost horribly due to trying to play the game as a pacifist), but I'm actually very tempted to give this one a shot - a grand strategy game with environments rendered in an amount of detail comparable to Anno sounds really great. (One of my favorite things when I was playing Anno 1503 as a child was to stop for a brief moment and just look at everything that was going on.)

Also, I'm really intrigued by the feature that you can create your own leaders. I used to say “the moment I'll pick up a grand strategy game is when I'll be able to play as Vercingetorix and absolutely blow Caesar to kingdom come” - and even if Vercingetorix isn't in the game by standard, I can simply create him. I kid you not when I say that I could cry every time when I think about how the Gallic Wars were essentially just instigated by one person to gain political power and money - Rome itself wasn’t even interested in conquering Gaul, and Caesar had enough enemies in Rome who would’ve loved to see him fail in his self-staged glory campaign. A Gallic victory might have even inspired other peoples and nations to push back against Roman expansion and Romanization, leading to a more diverse European legacy as a whole (fun fact, btw: a lot of “Roman” inventions were actually just taken over from other cultures). Now, this is an alternate reality that I would love to see - plus, I’m always open to bullying some Romans. Who knows, if I’m really getting to rewrite history, maybe Carthage can join in the fun too. (Bring me those elephants, Hannibal!)

Since I've been a bit confused that they chose Nefertiti over Hatshepsut as an Egyptian leader*, I would love to play a campaign as her, too - the, according to James Henry Breasted, “first great woman in history of whom we are informed”. Not only that, her rule was so successful (especially in regards to trading and construction projects) that the patriarchal authorities of Egypt saw their worldview threatened, and because they couldn't have any records of an actually competent woman, they went out and erased her name on almost all of her monuments so she was basically forgotten by history for a long time. Well, I'd love to change that - as usual, though, I will wait what the reviews for Ara are going to be like, and maybe wait a little more until I can snatch the game at a good price.

*It's not that I'm unhappy with Nefertiti as a choice, I'm just a little surprised they wouldn't choose Hatshepsut in the light of her achievements. It’s also a little baffling that they announce Nefertiti as “pharaoh of Egypt” when she was just Great Royal Wife (albeit a very influential one) and Hatshepsut literally held the position of pharaoh. (There are theories Nefertiti ruled briefly after her husband died, though this is a matter of debate.) Also, tiny detail, but that Nefertiti starts out with Waset (aka Thebes) as a capital is hilarious to me, since she and Akhenaten demonstratively left Waset to establish Amarna as the new capital during their reign.

One novelty this year was the German Indie Showcase (“Deutsche Indie Showcase”), which took place about one hour before Opening Night Live and focused on upcoming indie games from Germany, Austria, and Switzerland.

Although a lot of them weren’t really “world premieres” in the sense of the word - more like new trailers for already announced titles or new content releases/updates - I still found it way more interesting and entertaining to watch than ONL, in no small thanks to the commentary by German YouTubers Gronkh (whom I’ve been a long-time fan of) and PhunkRoyal.

Speaking of which, some people may know Gronkh as one of the “regular guests” of Gamescom, but this year, he actually didn’t make an appearance at the fair. This is something he announced last year, after he realized that more and more influencers who had nothing to do with gaming tried to use Gamescom as a means to gain publicity. Because of this, Gamescom was increasingly criticized for turning more and more into an “influencer convention” in the past years, which led to Gronkh clearly positioning himself and saying “I don’t want Gamescom to exclusively become an influencer event, and I don’t want my presence to divert attention from what’s supposed to be the main attraction: the games”. As a consequence, Gronkh announced he wasn’t going to be at Gamescom 2024 and instead would organize smaller events for his community. I think this is actually a very commendable move, and that he uses his range to give more visibility to local indie games is something I appreciate all the more.

The German Indie Showcase itself was hosted independently of Gamescom, featuring no third-party advertisements, show acts, or any other useless knick-knack. This is a development that I welcome a lot, not only that we get a special event with a spotlight on local developers, but also that the showcase focuses on what it’s actually about: the games.

After catching up on some of the other showcases after Gamescom (because I was too preoccupied to watch them live), one nice surprise for me was Planet Coaster 2, which I didn’t even know about before seeing the trailer (for some reason, the announcement about a month ago just completely flew over my head ^^'). Frontier Developments took some inspiration from Roller Coaster Tycoon 3's "Soaked!" expansion this time, adding water attractions as the brand-new feature. I would be interested in checking it out if I didn't know I'm 100% going to get stuck again trying to make everything as pretty as possible, which is exactly why I never got very far in Planet Coaster 1. xD

Meanwhile, in my opinion, the indie game division had a lot more interesting titles to offer. Same as last year, I checked out a selection of 20 Steam demos from Indie Arena Booth during Gamescom, plus 4 I already played preliminary. Out of the 24 games I tried out in total, my highlights were:

Moses & Plato - Last Train to Clawville

Songs of Silence

Closer the Distance

Winter Burrow

Goodbye Seoul

Steel Seed

30 Birds

Once Upon a Rogue's Tale

Awaken - Astral Blade

Bloodless

I want to thank all the devs who provided online demos of their games for this wonderful experience - the indie games are what I’m looking forward to the most every Gamescom, and I had tons of fun checking out all the awesome demos, even those that didn’t make it into the top 10. If you’d like to read my full thoughts on all the demos I played, here are my review threads from Mastodon:

Preliminary/New in August

Day 1: Strategy

Day 2: Detective, point & click, visual novels

Day 3: Action, platformers, metroidvanias

Day 4: Puzzle

Day 5: Sim, story, cozy games

In general, I had the impression that way more indie developers provided demos of their games than last year, and some even held special events in celebration. Awaken - Astral Blade, for instance, had a Gamescom Special Demo (it was essentially just a slightly more polished version of the normal demo, but it’s still nice the devs used this opportunity to show everyone how things are coming along) and Goodbye Seoul held a simultaneous Steam giveaway event.

Other games from Hall 10.2 had playable Steam demos as well, including Paws and Leaves - A Thracian Tale, Reka, and We Harvest Shadows. Even some bigger developers followed the trend, with Krafton providing a Steam demo for inZoi’s character editor.

Given that more possibilities to take part in Gamescom online was one of my biggest wishes last year (due to the online section diminishing somewhat after the Covid years were over), I am especially heartened by this development. Due to chronic illness, it has become increasingly difficult for me to travel to Gamescom myself (not to mention the noise level and crowds, which were always a challenge for me as a neurodiverse person), and it’s so great that people who can’t visit Gamescom in person for whatever reason also get opportunities to take part in it. Also, since more accessibility was a huge topic this year, I think online presence can also be used to further improve on that - and since Gamescom 2024 set a new record in regards to online reach with 310 million digital accesses, this development will hopefully continue.

Finally, I’d like to make a brief comment on this year’s “motto” of Gamescom as formulated by the organizers: One of the guiding principles was “games foster democracy”, which, understandably, has caused quite a bit of confusion among some commenters. One German journalist even humorously remarked: “As long as I haven’t formed a conclusive opinion on that, I’d rather rely on the Federal Constitutional Court than Candy Crush Saga.”

While I wouldn’t make a general claim that video games foster democracy, I would like to add that games can foster diversity. If we have a diverse range of games made by a diverse range of people - such as we see in Indie Arena Booth - it can lead to more diversity in the medium, which in turn can increase open-mindedness among the people who consume it, and thus foster democratic values.

Overall, the impression Gamescom 2024 left me with is a very positive one, and I think there were a lot of steps in the right direction.

What’s your opinion on Gamescom 2024? Do you have anything you’d like to add? Feel free to share your own thoughts!

[duxbelisarius]

The Dance of the Dragons: A Military Analysis (Pt. 5)

At long last, we finally arrive at the battles of the Dance! A huge thanks once again to those of you that have been following from the start; if you’re just coming across this series now, I’ll direct you to the Master Post, which lists my previous analyses!

Part 5 will offer brief analysis of the use of intelligence in the Dance, but will focus primarily on the first campaigns of the war: Stone Hedge and Rook’s Rest. I will examine the strategic and tactical decisions made by the commanders of both factions, as well as assess logistics where pertinent. A definition of terms is helpful first, as I will be making use of the terms strategy and tactics; in the context of European Warfare between 1740 and 1813, Claus Telp defines strategy and tactics as follows:

‘Strategy’ is the art of war at the strategic level, concerned with political decisions such as the definition of the war aim, the mobilization of manpower and material, the planning and conduct of campaigns and the determination of the purpose as well as the context of battle. ‘Tactics’ is the art of war at the tactical level, concerned with fighting a battle in pursuit of the strategic purpose.

Intelligence gathering and espionage in the Dance suffers from the same illogical events and poor writing by George (shout out to reddit users /u/Tribune_Aguila and /u/leonie46 for drawing attention to this). While Daemon, Mysaria and Larys Strong exert a sizeable influence on the Dance via their networks of spies and informants, their effectiveness depends on whether the plot needs them. Despite commanding the Gold Cloaks for a year and a half from 104 to 105 AC, after which he was absent for the war in the Stepstones and then was in exile from 112 AC to 120 AC, we’re to believe that Daemon’s standing in the unit is great enough to use the entire force as a fifth column in the taking of King’s Landing. Of course Larys Strong fails to detect this despite being Master of Whispers and former Royal Confessor, possessing knowledge of and contacts within the city that allows him to sneak Aegon II out of the city when it falls to Rhaenyra, and to seize control of the city from her during the Storming of the Dragonpit. Gyldan tells us that Daemon had a ‘mole’ within the Green Council, and this may well have been Larys Strong, but this information ultimately amounts to nothing and is never brought up again. This inconsistent use of intel underlines a major problem with how George writes the Dance: No matter how skilled or a effective a character or characters are portrayed to be, their quality varies considerably based on how they further George’s plot, so that their qualities are liable to deteriorate at the author’s convenience.

Referencing our timeline from Part 3, open hostilities only began a month or so after Viserys death, but the beginnings of the Stone Hedge campaign can be traced back to just after Rhaenyra’s coronation. On the 12th day of the 3rd Moon (March 12th; dates will hereafter be rendered in our calendar), Daemon and Caraxes captured Harrenhal and began gathering a host of Riverlords loyal to the Black cause. Gyldan states that Harrenhal was lightly garrisoned due to Larys Strong being in King’s Landing, implying that the bulk of the Strong household forces were with him at least. Even having lost territories during the reign of Maegor the Cruel, Harrenhal is still the largest castle in the Riverlands with substantial lands within it’s fief, but we are never told of any Strong forces fighting on Aegon’s behalf. House Bracken and Vance of Atranta are the only Riverlord houses we know of that supported Aegon, with the Tullys opting for neutrality and most of their other bannermen rallying to Daemon. 

A glaring omission through most of the narrative at this time, is how the arrival of autumn affected mobilization efforts outside the North. Gyldan tells us that Jacaerys arrived in Winterfell with autumn well advanced, and based on our calculations in Part 3 along with a distance map, the journey Dragonstone-The Eyrie-Sisterton-White Harbour-Winterfell should have taken him three to four days at least assuming a journey of c.1000 miles at 30 mph plus time for stops in the Eyrie, Sisterton and White Harbour. This means autumn in Westeros would have begun within a week of Rhaenyra’s coronation (and would last until the first half of 130 AC), while fighting began in early April following the torture and execution of Blood for the murder of Prince Jaehaerys. There was already deep snow around Winterfell when Jace arrived, and even if the the climate further south was too warm for snow we should at least expect rain, sleet and cooler temperatures. Cregan Stark was already preparing for winter at that point, and we should expect this to have been the case in the agriculture-focused Riverlands; and yet Daemon seems to have had no difficulty raising troops, with many grabbing “a pitchfork or a hoe and a crude wooden shield” and marching to Harrenhal, according to Gyldan.

The opening blows of the Stone Hedge campaign were struck by the Blacks, when raiders of House Blackwood attacked villages on Bracken land, destroying septs and homes, crops and livestock. Amos Bracken, son of Lord Humfrey Bracken and heir to Stone Hedge, leads forces to retaliate; these are ambushed by Blackwood troops at a nearby mill, leading to the Battle of the Burning Mill. As alluded to in Part 2, George resorts to an absence of security repeatedly to justify the outcomes of his battles, and Burning Mill begins this trend. Amos Bracken and Lord Samwell Blackwood are both killed, and grievous losses are suffered by both sides; Raylon Rivers, Amos Bracken’s bastard half-brother, leads the remnants of the Bracken host back to Stone Hedge. While the Brackens’ forces were fighting at the Burning Mill, forces from House Darry, Piper, Roote and Frey captured Stone Hedge with the aid of Daemon and Caraxes, and Rivers is forced to surrender to spare the lives of Humfrey Bracken and his family. 

Thus ended the first campaign of the Dance in the Riverlands, as we are told that Aegon’s supporters there followed suit with the Brackens and surrendered. We have little to work with in the way of tactical analysis, but the brief account we’re given raises serious questions. We know that House Vance of Atranta also supported Aegon, and that House Vance and Bracken controlled more land and could raise larger armies than House Tully. Even if that army was divided between Atranta and Wayfarer’s Rest in the case of the Vances, such forces should still have required time and effort to subdue. George has yet to show us where Atranta and Stone Hedge are located on in-world maps, but Atlas of Ice and Fire’s locations for them seems reasonable; despite their forces a likely close proximity, both houses are subdued without much effort and never again take up arms against the Blacks. Daemon makes effective use of Caraxes in forcing the surrender of Stone Hedge, but we only hear of Daeron utilizing his dragon in this way during the rest of the Dance, once again demonstrating the sub-optimal use of dragons by both factions. 

The involvement of House Frey in the capture of Stone Hedge is by far the most questionable inclusion by George; we have no estimates for the forces available to the Darrys, Rootes or Pipers, but we do know that House Frey has the same advantages over the Tullys as Vance and Bracken. It’s more than likely that they would have been the largest component of Daemon’s forces at Stone Hedge, which begs the question as to how they managed to get there at all. A little over half a month passes between Rhaenyra’s coronation and the outbreak of hostilities, almost the exact amount of time it would take to travel from King’s Landing to Harrenhal, while House Frey’s seat at The Twins would take twice that time to reach. The Freys would need time to muster their forces and even if they conducted a forced march to Harrenhal, they would still then have to march the length of the Trident to reach Stone Hedge and would have to fight if need be. This is where George’s inconsistency with the weather is especially telling, as inclement weather would endanger the harvest and thus delay any muster by the Riverlords; we are also told later that rain and mud delayed Aemond and Criston Cole’s march on Harrenhal, with Aemond and the bulk of the army arriving there 20 days after setting out from King’s Landing. 

The rivers offer an easy solution to this problem, though introducing river travel to the narrative of the Dance creates further problems as well shall see later. Maester Yandel’s Riverlands chapter in TWOIAF stresses the importance of the Trident and it’s tributaries; mile-long lines of poleboats are “not unknown” on the rivers, while the use of the Trident and it’s tributaries by the Ironborn longboats was crucial to the founding of the Kingdom of House Hoare. Traveling on the Green Fork means the Frey forces would only have to cross the Trident and make a short march to Harrenhal, making this the most likely outcome. The rivers are a solution to this issue but introducing them in such a way requires the narrative to be consistent in the role they play from this point on, which proves not to be the case.

This brings us to the final major campaign of 129 AC, Rook’s Rest; the goal of this campaign was to force the submission of Rhaenyra’s supporters on the mainland of the Crownlands. The impetus for the campaign came from a list assembled by Larys Strong of all of Rhaenyra’s Crowndlands supporters, which likely included Rosby, Stokeworth, Darklyn, Staunton, Crabb, Brune, Celtigar and Hayford. Lords Hayford and Harte were executed after refusing to renounce their support for Rhaenyra, but Harte is never mentioned again in the narrative, while only Rosby, Stokeworth, Darklyn and Staunton are attacked by Criston Cole. With 100 knights, 500 men-at-arms and 1800 Swellswords under his command, Criston Cole marched on Rosby and Stokeworth first, whose lords had sworn new oaths of allegiance to Aegon and so added their forces to Cole’s. Duskendale, the seat of House Darklyn, is taken by surprise and sacked, with Lord Darklyn being beheaded and his forces joining up with Cole. As with Burning Mill, we have no idea what constitutes surprise, especially not in the case of a 3000+ strong host attacking a castle; most likely they attacked during the night, or were able to secure the gates and prevent them from being closed. The Battle of Rook’s Rest itself is dominated by the battle between Rhaenys and Aemond and Aegon II, and part three addresses my issues with the use of dragons during the campaign. 

From a strategic perspective, the Greens and the Blacks had essentially traded blows with the Stone Hedge and Rook’s Rest campaigns, although the end of 129 AC found Rhaenyra in a far stronger position than Aegon II. While Daemon had succeeded in securing the Riverlands and stamping out any of Aegon’s support there, Criston Cole had robbed the Blacks of many of their loyal houses in the Crownlands. Nonetheless, Rook’s Rest was a pyrrhic victory for the Greens owing to the injuries suffered by Aegon II and Sunfyre; while Rhaenyra continued to be cut-off from her allies on the mainland, Daemon’s actions in the Riverlands combined with the support of the North, Vale and northern Reach also cut off Aegon his allies in the Westerlands and Oldtown. The stage was set for a rapid escalation of the war in 130 AC, which would bring the Blacks to the brink of victory.

[maryellencarter]

so apparently having a new lupin thing i am distinctly enjoying (lupin zero) is what it took to get me around to watching the lupin thing i had not seen yet that i really hadn't heard anything positive about (part 6, not counting "the times" which i have already seen and loved the hell out of, but have not managed to watch since july because... you know)

thoughts so far, as of finishing episode 7 (i'm watching the subs then the dub for each episode, which helps me follow details better but definitely takes longer):

* wow. so you know how i like to say about part 5 that, love it or hate it, that is a piece of media that knew exactly what it wanted to do and went for it? this is the opposite. the only episode so far that seemed to have an actual goal in mind is the one where the goal was "i am going to retell an ernest hemingway story, and also insert into the dialogue the titles of every other hemingway story in the same collection", which sure did do what it set out to do, but was it a thing worth setting out to do?

...well, given that i am told the guest writers for each non-main-plot episode in the first half were all instructed "you must base your episode on a specific piece of crime fiction", i have to admit that playing the world's most pretentious version of the game where you try to write a paragraph without any E's in it was... probably the most Mamoru Oshii possible way of complying with a stupid requirement, and definitely hewed closer to the spirit of the rule than the one where NPCs with names relevant to Ellery Queen did fuck-all of importance.

episode by episode:

* "enter sherlock holmes". in which sherlock holmes looks a great deal like somebody tried to make a 2D version of first!jigen and failed to grasp why first!jigen is sexy. also in the english version all the brits are dubbed by american-sounding americans, which is the most auditorily disorienting version of sherlock holmes i have heard (although i must admit i never did get around to watching the veggietales version, but if there's one thing the veggietales guys have demonstrated their commitment to doing from day one, it's accents... and now I'm humming "oh no, what we gonna do")

where the fuck was i? right. so albert gets worfed to demonstrate that holmes is a badass. why on earth albert would be doing spy work personally in a country where he *doesn't* have millions i've strings to pull, i have no fucking idea. also him going straight to "shoot myself in the head with my last bullet" as an exit strategy compares really badly to the bit in part 5 which... either it was supposed to mirror this, or somebody just failed to do their research, but that moment near the end of part 5 where jigen's on the run alone, down to his last bullet, there are multiple guys about to come around the corner and capture or kill him, and then albert rescues him.

and yeah, that's a moment where you have to wonder if it crossed jigen's mind to use his last bullet for himself instead of going down fighting a hopeless fight, but jigen has never been someone who -- i can't recall a single moment in 53 years that we've seen him actively ready to die. he does plenty of self-destructive shit, but even when a fight can't logically be won, he keeps fighting, even if all he can do is run his mouth. having albert jump straight to suicide in a scene that *has* to be a callback... it doesn't feel right thematically and it doesn't speak to a great understanding of albert as a character (such as he's been so far).

oh yeah, also there was the intial setup for the antagonist secret society "the raven", whose mysterious hooded executioner blew up a guy in protective custody in scotland yard. they weren't terribly impressive. even though i haven't actually seen twcfm, only read spoilers, i feel like a creepy bird-themed secret society is maybe something you're not gonna beat that show on using well?

* "detective and crook". in which jigen and goemon also get worfed to further prove that holmes is a badass. jeez, guys, just give him purple eyes and lavender hair already, huh? lupin also continues his mary-poppins-esque habit of never explaining anything. we do get jigen riding on the back of fujiko's motorcycle, which is a rarity (and keeping his hands where they belong, as opposed to Lupin). fujiko sticks a scroll of paper down her cleavage a la first contact, so that the camera can zoom in on it for maximum jiggle physics opportunity. and lupin blows up a whole-ass demolition site full of cops including zenigata and yata -- none of whom get hurt, but *wow*, that's a life choice.

* "adventure along the (replica) transcontinental railroad". in which lupin wears the biggest turban you ever saw, npcs with ellery queen names do nothing much, fujiko gets whole-ass tied to railroad tracks dudley do-right style and nearly beheaded, jigen and goemon ride a bicycle built for two and also pretend to be cosplaying as themselves in order to throw zenigata off the scent (in the dub, goemon suggests that zenigata page lupin to the front desk like a lost child, which is delightfully goemon), and jigen gets to do some fancy trick shooting that i still don't understand after seeing it twice in order to flip a railway switch and send the runaway train onto a siding. he shot a streetlight and something flew out and somehow that made the switch do the thing?

* "the killers in the diner". in which mamoru oshii plays silly buggers with hemingway titles, lupin and jigen in disguise are voiced by other actors until they're revealed (which has barely ever happened... in the english dub at least, i can think of *one* time a disguised lupin was voiced by lex lang for a scene, that's it), fujiko appears to be disguised as an extremely depressed pippi longstocking for reasons that are never explained, and a bunch of japanese people get to take a fairly reasonable stab at pronouncing "dulles". also it's established that fujiko is bad at cooking, which i think might have been fanon previously but i can't think of anywhere else it was actually established.

* "the imperial city dreams of thieves". a two-parter in which lupin gets dropped into a world based on the works of japanese mystery author edogawa ranpo (this was a pen name based on the name "edgar allan poe"). it's pretty solidly paced for the most part, which is not something you can really count on part 6 for so far, but it's also... well.

so. it's a story set in the late 1920s, about a giant mysterious golden clock/orrery from mongolia, guarded by the heirs of genghis khan, one of whom decides that entrusting it to a young female japanese "explorer" (visually coded very much like the white egyptologists of the era, similarly dedicated to bringing back other cultures' precious artifacts for display, and treated as an unquestionably virtuous character) is obviously the wise and correct choice to keep it out of harm's way -- the youthful guardian of the device accompanying the explorer back to japan as a bodyguard and servant, as well as continuing to guard the clock.

the japanese imperial army, who (the episode does not explain) are most of the reason there's all this war and unrest on the mainland that make the clock's guardian decide it's better off in civilized japan (okay the episode *all but* says the civilized part out loud)... where was i? right. the japanese imperial army, who are busy conquering mainland countries in the whole pan-asian empire thing they did in the run-up to world war ii (christ, it's been forever since i studied that part of history... if i recall, their selling point was "asia for the asiatics", as in they wanted white people out, but in practice they wanted to rule all of asia themselves, so it was more like "asia for the japanese empire") -- the japanese imperial army want the clock in order to give it to a puppet dictator they'll install in mongolia. our young explorer, who is the daughter of a powerful... department store conglomerate?... look, i'm sure it packs some kind of an emotional punch in japanese, but now i'm just cracking myself up imagining the heiress of like woolworth's or sears roebuck facing off against the fbi.

anyway. as i was saying. our young heroine declines to give away the clock, as having it on display at her family's department store is clearly the best place for the cultural artifact that determines rulership of mongolia. (i'm being sarcastic. the episode isn't.) kidnapping and shenanigans ensue.

also, as you would expect from an alternate universe story, there are characters who look exactly like the lupin crew. lupin is put into the role of "golden mask", a phantom thief edogawa ranpo created based on that most popular of phantom thieves, arsène lupin (the first). fujiko becomes "black lizard", a femme fatale originally working with the villain and face of the japanese army -- i think the villain's name is daidouji, but i think leia also picked that out for one of jigen's aliases in one of our stories, so either she has something she could explain to me or that's a very confusing coincidence.

goemon, it will turn out, is also his real-world self along with lupin -- i'll get there in a minute. zenigata is a fictional (secondary-fictional) police inspector with a slightly different name and an almost identical hat. and jigen... jigen is one of the factors that make this episode what you might call, on the internet, Problematic.

so. the villain is a very large japanese army guy named colonel daidouji. his ever-present shadow and sidekick is a very, very familiar-looking major whose name is not initially given, and who very nearly manages to put a bullet in lupin on first meeting him.

now, jigen's au version being evil, y'know, it's a hard sell, it's not impossible that i'd buy it if it was done right, but the thing is that you never have to buy it. tv shows have this need to make au versions of the heroes always still have some kind of heroic core. the really steep issue comes with what kind of a hero he turns out to be.

the character who looks like jigen is eventually revealed to be a character named major yoshiaki hongo from the works of a writer named minetaro yamanaka (whose first google result for me is, uh, the wikipedia article on antisemitism in japan, that's... probably not irrelevant to my point here?). major hongo, at least as described in the episode, is a badass soldier who goes undercover to root out corruption, which is all very well and good... except for the part where his little speech about who he is and what he's doing here, in both languages, leads with "fighting for the liberation of asia". aka, as we discussed, conquering it for the japanese empire.

which, together with the whole misappropriating cultural treasures with the enthusiastic cooperation and servitude of their native owners arc... really, really makes one wonder about many choices that were made.

(oh yeah, it turns out the whole thing is a virtual reality mindfuck, major hongo's badassful hero reveal moment is basically the last thing that happens before everybody explodes into pixels except lupin and goemon, it turns out somebody was trying to get a passcode to lupin's hideout, which they failed at because he was just that smart, but also a couple of shots at the end of the episode imply that everything did actually happen for real somehow. that part is confusing and rushed. the loving morals about cultural artifacts and the liberation of asia from non-japanese rule take precedence.)

(okay, major hongo had a faceoff with goemon who cut a notch in his cap brim so you could see one of his eyes, that was a *very* cool bit of visual design that you could never do with proper jigen because he would murder you for slicing his hat. and then goemon toppled dramatically off a bridge because he is the biggest drama queen in the entire cast and we're talking *including lupin iii*.)

like. i grew up on (western) fiction from this era and earlier. the part where i notice or mind the imperialism is aftermarket. i can, if i try, shut it off and enjoy the show. but, like writing an episode composed largely of ernest hemingway references... is that a goal worth having? especially in a worldwide political climate like this where it's very beneficial to notice the overton window shifting before it slams shut on your damn fingers.

* "an untold tale". in which zenigata is summarily slandered by both lupin and the writers. lupin deduces that the zenigata he's working with is actually sherlock holmes in disguise based on the premise that zenigata is not someone who does things like... run headlong into danger? selflessly protect innocent bystanders? kick ass? stick to a trail?... and is instead someone who, while having a solid idea of lupin's next destination, goes and gets blackout drunk and passes out in a bar instead of staking it out or at least yelling "LUPIN" a lot in the general vicinity.

i guess there's also plot, supposedly. this consists of lupin explaining his movements at a certain time, clearly and in order, over a flashback that agrees with his description. No unreliable narrator in sight. No evading every question like it's "give Jigen rubber bullets and practice dodging" day at the hideout. Just reading pages of boring exposition while being ineffectually shot at by a Colonel Sebastian Moran wielding one of the clunkiest air-guns I've ever seen the man burdened with.

(I haven't gotten around to watching the dub of this last-named episode yet, but I hear that somebody majorly failed at googling, overcommitted to "all R's in the Japanese must become L's in English", and created the character of Colonel Sebastian *Molan*. I'm not sure I'm gonna have spoons for that one for a bit.)

[forsaking-serenity]

ok so on request of op, here's the beast. the monster that haunts my dreams and thoughts. i am frankenstein and this is my half baked creation (an unfinished thought essay on avengers endgame):

There are 6 Infinity Stones, 6 original Avengers and 6 children of Thanos. That’s one too many for it to be a coincidence. Not only that, but there is also the fact each of the original Avengers represent an Infinity Stone so purely it’s uncanny.

They named the movie Avengers Endgame, so let’s make it an actual endgame. In the chess strategy, you sacrifice your important pieces so the king can make the final blow and end the game.

Meaning that I probably won’t have a way to implement something similar to the final battle in the movie, no matter how cool it was. It just isn’t logical, especially when I set out to fix the time travel mess. And I understand the need for actual character deaths in such a big movie/story, but the death of Tony Stark made absolutely zero sense in correlation to the movie. We just saw him happy after like 15 years of struggling, he had a four-year-old daughter. Had he stayed alive it would’ve been the ultimate fuck you parallel to Thanos, he would’ve gone and done exactly what Thanos wanted to do himself “Restore balance to the universe,” whilst also being a father himself and actually raising the child.

Unlike Thanos who kidnapped his so-called children, whilst killing the rest of their planet making them the last survivors of their race in the process. Made them fight each other and when one lost, he removed a part of her body with a machine. Yeah, that sounds like great parenting, but I digress.

So, the plot of Avengers Endgame is set in motion by a RAT hitting a button, yeah no, not in my world. I’m sorry Scott, but you’ll be stuck in the quantum realm for the entirety of this. Then again you'll get out of it a lot quicker than in the movie, so you win some you lose some.

Instead my plot is moved forward by the fact that Tony simply doesn’t accept a world where Morgan doesn’t know her older brothers Harley and Peter. Oh, before I forget Helen Cho and Darcy Lewis survived the Snap, but Jane Foster and Erik Selvig didn’t.

1. Space —> Thor & Ebony Maw

2. Time —> Steve & Corvus Glaive

3. Soul —> Natasha & Gamora

4. Mind —> Tony & Nebula

5. Power —> Bruce/Hulk & Cull Obsidian

6. Reality —> Clint & Proxima Midnight

Thanos’ plan does not make sense, cutting all of life in half so the other remaining half can thrive. The last time there were half as many people on our planet as there are now was back in 1970.

In the past 50 years our population has doubled itself, so assuming that we would keep reproducing at the same rate if not faster, because everytime after a big tragedy on Earth without fail there will be a population boom.

Look at ww2 or the bubonic plague. So, when Dr. Strange asked Thanos what he was gonna do after he was done, he shouldn’t have said, “I finally rest... and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe”. Because in 50 years tops he’d have to use the Stones again and that’s only talking about Earth, not even the rest of the Galaxy. So it doesn’t make any sense why he destroyed his only means of accomplishing his goals.

What I think that his plan instead should’ve been was that he’d give 1 Stone to each of his children, who would take them to the ends of the galaxy to guard until the time came to use them again. Of course he didn’t account for Gamora and Nebula betraying him.

However, during the course of Infinity War all of Thanos’ children except for Nebula die. Gamora, bless that wonderful woman, died for the Soul Stone. Ebony Maw was killed by Iron Man and Spider-Man to save Dr. Strange. Cull Obsidian was killed by Bruce Banner in the Hulkbuster armour. Proxima Midnight was killed by the Scarlet Witch to save the Black Widow and General Okoye. Corvus Glaive was killed by Vision when he tried to take the Mind Stone in princess Shuri’s lab.

But honestly we could just ignore that fact, because in the end Thanos succeeded. So, their deaths are inconsequential and could be reversed for the purposes of better storytelling.

Now, there are a few more plot holes I’d like to point out whilst I’ve got your attention:

Don’t you think that it’s weird that Thor doesn’t know the Guardians of the Galaxy or at the very least Gamora, you know, daughter of Thanos (albeit kidnapped).

In Avengers: Age of Ultron he literally says, “I have no choice. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That’s no coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all these pieces are in position...”.

Proving to us that he knows of what has happened in Xandar. Because at that point in time Dr. Strange wouldn’t have happened yet, as that happened in 2016 and Age of Ultron in 2015. So, the Time Stone is still safe in the Kamar Taj with the Ancient One. And the Soul Stone is on Vormir and Gamora is literally the only being in the entire Galaxy that has that information.

Like I mentioned Age of Ultron happens in 2015, that means that Thor has personally been involved with three of the sightings of the Stones, so the fourth one has to be the Power Stone. So, Thor mentions four Stones but both Steve and Tony don’t realize they only know of three? I call bs, sure maybe Steve wouldn’t realize it, but you’d think that Tony does.

The man is a literal genius, who built a miniaturized arc reactor in a cave with a bunch of scraps, he’s created multiple functional AI, he created a new element on an off Tuesday like it was nothing, whilst suffering from heavy metal poisoning.

The villains in Spider-Man: far from home are literally a bunch of people who felt personally slighted by the man, because he is more academically accomplished. Oh and did I mention that he was dead in the movie?

Then again all of the Iron Man movies have that exact same type of villain, except for Ivan Vanko his father felt personally slighted by Howard Stark. So, he thought, “I gotta continue the only thing our family is known for. Attack a Stark,” because yeah that’s a great idea.

Anyway, new plothole, did anyone ever think to ask Loki where got the scepter? Or what happened during his time in the void?

We could easily retcon it and say his eyes are blue when he comes through the portal. The same kind of blue as Clint Barton’s and Dr. Erik Selvig’s eyes. This would insinuate that Loki was mind controlled as well. His eyes would, in fact, stay blue throughout the entirety of the movie up until the Hulk smashed Loki in the Stark Tower penthouse. Afterwards his eyes return to their normal green colour.

But besides that, his whole plan sucked, for someone who’s made out to be this incredibly sly and cunning trickster, he sure don’t got the skills to pull off a surprise attack. Honestly what were these people, especially Thor who grew up with the man, thinking when they were fighting him?

Then again, no one questioned why the scepter stayed on Earth, but the tesseract had to go to Asgard. Like trading in one extremely dangerous alien artefact housing an Infinity Stone for another extremely dangerous alien artefact housing an Infinity Stone? Maybe, a not so great move on Thor’s part. Seems kind of counterintuitive, because why would he make such a big fuss about the tesseract coming to Asgard, but then completely disregard the scepter.

Speaking of the scepter, onto plothole number three, why did the scepter not work on Tony? Was it just coincidence because Loki hits the arc reactor? Or was it more?

Because you see, the element powering the arc reactor is based on the tesseract, which houses the Space Stone an Infinity Stone. And the scepter houses the Mind Stone, another one of the Infinity Stones.

Does one or at least something with the same properties as one cancel one of the other Stones out?

Because later in Age of Ultron, when Wanda uses her powers on him they do work and she got her powers from the Mind Stone. This is after he removed the arc reactor in 2013 at the end of Iron Man 3. And as if that isn’t enough, Tony himself writes it off as the scepter giving him the vision.

So, with that being said, Starkium is an element based on the tesseract, which houses the Space stone. It is also capable of throwing off the working of the scepter, which houses another Infinity Stone, the Mind Stone to be precise. What if, for each of the stones there is an element based on one of the other stones that cancels one another out.

• Space over Mind

• Mind over Soul

• Soul over Power

• Power over Reality

• Reality over Time

• Time over Space

(Is this of any value towards the plot? No. Then why would it matter? Well my brain wouldn’t let it go, so deal with it)

After the Snap, maybe before I don’t know yet, the remaining Avengers realize this. And with the remaining Avengers I mean Tony Stark. Tony Stark figures it out as per usual, once he’s back from his impromptu space vacation of course.

Because exhaustion or not, he’s got shit to do. And seeing as he’s the only one with working brain cells and occasionally, when given incentive uses them. Because, I flat out refuse to believe that Tony gave up after his kid just died in his arms.

So, he and Nebula come up with a plan, he sure as hell isn’t gonna let a genocidal grape with a bunch of colourful rocks win without so much as a rematch.

Remember earlier when I said, “So, their deaths are inconsequential and could be reversed for the purposes of better storytelling.”?

Yes? Great, so here the Black Order doesn’t die, except for Gamora who does die for the Soul Stone, but that can be reversed. If the person who snaps thinks of just the right thing. So, everything does go according to plan, for Thanos.

Sort of, he sends all of his children to guard their Stones. But he has two left over, the Soul Stone and the Mind Stone for Gamora and Nebula respectively. But seeing as Gamora died and Nebula betrayed him, he is coming a few hands short.

That’s where Nebula comes in, she goes to the Garden alone, to realign herself with Thanos. Saying she was making sure her sister didn’t do anything to stupid during her time with the Guardians and when she learned of her death she wasn’t thinking clearly. Struck with grief she attacks him on Titan. (I don’t know, okay, I haven’t worked out all of the kinks yet.) Delighted by this revelation Thanos trusts her with the Mind Stone and he’ll just guard the Soul Stone himself.

Unbeknownst to him though, Nebula leads the Avengers to him and after she’s gotten the Mind Stone, she sends in the Avengers. Thor goes for the head and they get the Soul Stone.

Once they arrive back on Earth, Tony starts working on the elements as well as using the readings of the Stones to find the other stones. Once he finds the Stones, they divide into tag teams of two and go hunting for the remaining Stones.

During the three weeks that Tony was stuck in space, the remaining Asgardians arrived on Earth. Thor leaves Valkyrie in charge of New Asgard, who settled in Norway, with the help of Pepper. As he goes to retrieve the Space Stone (he is getting that one because he’s the only original Avenger from space) which is guarded by Ebony Maw.

Maw because he can use magic and is the most skilled of the Black Order, so Thor has the biggest chance of surviving. He goes on his own, seeing as all of the other people who know their way around space are paired with a human. The other pairs are:

• Steve & Carol for the Time Stone; Because there both soldiers out of time; I don’t have a particular reason for this except for maybe Steve needing some self reflection on his past actions and Carol being an actual Captain, not just an honorary one, can help (yes, im salty);

• Bruce/Hulk & Nebula for the Power Stone; Because the Hulk, but, also, also, actually, actually Bruce Banner is the strongest Avenger. And they need to realize that they need to work together (These two got some serious self worth issues) and Nebula can help with that because she too was turned into something she didn’t want to be; Plus Cull Obsidian is the strongest of the Black Order;

• Clint & Rocket for the Reality Stone; Because they both lost their reality when they lost their children (Here Clint didn’t go whole psycho emo assassin, not to mention melodramatic Mr. Don’t, don’t give me hope, on the world and Natasha went to get him like ten seconds after the snap, because oh I don’t know she’s supposedly his best friend and the godmother to his children with one being named after her.); So did Tony (Harley & Peter you can fight me on this) but they don’t know that and also Pepper is pregnant;

Natasha stays on Earth as she is needed for relief efforts as well as new contingencies to ensure no other civilians die, for their cause. So, together with Pepper, Valkyrie, Darcy, Nakia and Okoye, who temporarily took over Wakanda seeing as the entire royal family was dusted, they plan with world leaders to stop traffic on the day the second snap happens.

So, people who dusted on the road won't come back to die anyways, because they were hit by a car, bus, train or even a subway. Whilst Tony and Rhodey play in the lab aka rebuild the Iron Legion to rescue any people who dusted on a plane, boat or submarine and are in danger of dying due those circumstances, whilst they diligently await the return of the other Avengers.

As for people who dusted in hospitals, there will be no surgeries that day and all personnel are on stand-by for any patient that dusted on the table. There should be records of all people who dusted, so it shouldn’t be too hard, just long and tedious. And that is without taking into account this is only for Earth and they need to rinse and repeat this process as quickly as possible for as many planets as possible.

That’s why Valkyrie stayed on Earth, so that once the plan in fully thought out, she and the Asgardians who want to can go and work this out with other worlds, with space ships made by Tony, Rhodey, Helen Cho (who was very sad to hear that Peter died, cuz she was his trusted doctor, it’s hard finding a doctor for him with his mutated blood and all that jazz) and Wakanda.

As for relief efforts, the Maria Stark Foundation is on top of things. Wong and the rest of the Kamer Taj also help with finding missing persons and as soon as the Iron Legion is back up they help too until they are needed for the second snap, with FRIDAY at the helm of course.

Once they have the element based on the Mind Stone, Tony with the help of Wakandan scientists awakens? Rebuilds? Reboots? Rebirths? I don’t know, okay? Vision is confusing, anyways he brings Vision and Jarvis back. Yes, Jarvis too, because I miss him and FRI deserves to meet her big bro.

Back to the Avengers in space. Thor, thanks to Stormbreaker, can call the Bifrost and therefore is also the one arrives the fastest at his destination. (Don’t ask me where okay. Just somewhere in the depths of the Galaxy.) He finds ? a castle? a cave? Ebony Maw seems too sophisticated for a cave, so a castle it is.

Moving on, he wanders around the castle trying to find Maw, but moreover the Stone. Finally he does find him, he’s just sitting there on a throne holding the Stone and almost playing with it in a sort of knowing way. He looks up and smirks as Thor’s grip on Stormbreaker tightens and he starts crackling with lightning, much like he did in the final battle of Asgard on the Bifrost against Hela. And then he says, “I did tell you the sun would shine on us again,” before transforming into Loki.

Cue cute and wholesome reunion, because these two sad bois™ deserve it. (Also after they get back to earth Thor is the one who handles the most of the delegation with other planets together with Loki, cuz you know Loki seems more competent)

Moving on to our dynamic duo of Captains (lmao I think I’m funnier than I actually am). Carol has a suit that lets her breathe in space as well as powers that she can use to fly. Steve can use the thing that Quill uses to breathe in space and I’m sure that either Tony or Wakandan scientists can whip up a space suit. I’m not even sure he needs it, cuz Quill’s clothes look pretty normal, but ya can never be too sure. Anyway, because Carol has the ability to fly really fast they just move through space like that to cut back on time.

Next up are Bruce and Nebula, they take the Milano together with Clint and Rocket who later take a pod once they need to separate.

In Infinity War Bruce is seen to be having trouble with hulking out, that is because Thanos scared the Hulk into hiding. At some point during the movie Bruce says, “Hulk, we got a lot to figure out, pal.”. So, if we follow this line of thought we can safely assume that they talk and start the process of healing. Neither trying to take over permanently, but rather work together to find a long term solution without killing either Hulk or Bruce. On the ship Bruce tries to talk to Hulk but the moment Thanos is mentioned he panics and refuses to talk about it.

Nebula notices and asks if she can try to talk with him, notice the distinction between ‘talking with’ and ‘talking to’. She talks with him as though he were an equal, which he is mind you, not an object. Nebula is able to reassure the Hulk and gets him to agree to try and reconcile with Banner to find a balance.

Ah yes, the dads amongst superheroes Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and Rocket Raccoon. Those who lost their reality with the Snap, their children. When a child loses their parent they are an orphan, but there is no name for a parent who loses their child (yes i am using that cliche quote, leave me alone). They are both skilled long distance fighters, so I was thinking we could take advantage of that. Rocket creates a diversion and Clint takes Proxima Midnight out, because the rage of a grieving father is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy.

the mcu would've been so much better today if they had hired parkner tumblr and ao3 to write for them.

[donttelljim]

I Never Stopped

Dragon Age 2 Fenris x FemHawke Fenris and Sebastien frantically search for Hawke through Chateau Haine, when Sebastien turns the conversation toward what happened between her and Fenris. Set during the Mark of the Assassin DLC - begins with the canon bants between Fenris and Sebastien and then carries on. A lil’ bit of angst and heartbreak for lovely Fenris. Mark of the Assassin was VERY interesting and cool for FenHawke times, imo, and for me, it landed quite soon before they got back together, which made all their fun times and all his stress & worry just 👌 ⁘  For @chaos-company Angstrpril 2022 Day 5, “I Never Stopped” ⁘ ====== The pair ran as fast as stealth would allow, their strategy a tug-of-war between prudence and growing desperation within the labyrinths of Chateau Haine. Grey led on to grey led on to grey, the bleak stone a fitting foil to the empty theatrics of the party upstairs. Fenris was no Ferelden, but he was inclined to share Hawke’s sentiment about this place: Orlesians. Even the word lent itself to a curling of the lip. Every wall and corner down here looked the same. Between Kirkwall and Starkaven, one would expect he and Vael to be familiar with baffling Marcher architecture, at least enough not to have become this lost. Fenris would never admit that he could be influenced by panic, but in truth, he wasn’t sure if he knew how to carry the weight of this. If they failed here - Hawke…

She had to survive - there was no other acceptable outcome - and yet here they were, uselessly chasing their tails whilst she endured Maker only knew what. His imagination had a great capacity for torture: he had witnessed it from both ends. Decisions, when they gambled with something more costly than his own life, could still cause the ex-slave to stall: it was why his derelict mansion had gone unchanged for six years, why he didn’t know how to re-examine the line he had drawn between he and Kate, and why, he was attempting not to acknowledge, they were so directionless now. “Maybe you should start praying that we’ll find them,” he muttered to his pious companion, tone dry and sheltering itself in sarcasm, when in truth the idea of any change to their fortunes was starting to appeal. If nothing else, Fenris hoped to shift the other man’s scrutiny onto his Maker rather than risking it land on him. That was the other reason his mansion stayed the way it did - he didn’t like to make choices, and he didn’t appreciate being observed. “I have been for the last half an hour,” came the immediate reply, frank yet, as always, slightly gentile. Fenris could never decide whether he admired Vael’s manner or whether it infuriated him: he had concluded eventually that the two could coexist. “I could do so out loud if you’d prefer?” The chantry brother’s zealous white and gold armour was the only interruption to the dungeons’ grey monotony, his expression well-meaning as he offered Fenris what the elf supposed was meant to be a comfort. He scoffed. Yet, all the while, there was a sharpness of focus and urgency in the man’s eyes that assured Fenris that he was not, in fact, a fool. Indeed, there were very few of Hawke’s cohorts that he would rather tackle this crisis with: he and Sebastien were as impatient to resolve this as each other, yet both had practical minds and, unlike the mage who was almost here in Sebastien's stead, their fears were aligned without sharing the same source. Chewing over that for a moment was a brief, if bitter, distraction from his dread. Fenris had presumed that his scoff read as a sufficient ‘No’, but apparently not. Perhaps the man was more back-handed than he had given him credit. “Blessed Andraste, Bride of the Maker, deliver us from this warren of evil.” The Starhaven voice declared its agenda oh-so-innocently (and oh-so loudly), its self-satisfied accent rolling with the same vain grandeur as the Vimmark Mountains themselves. And yet… the words were a minor comfort. “In that case,” the elf snapped; “Maybe you should stop.” Sebastien fell silent. They continued on their course: run, stop, turn about, double back, try a new corner, double back again. The usurped prince made surprisingly short work of traps and locks, but none of that would do any good if they couldn’t find Kate. The elf woman with her had a smell Fenris didn’t like: her clothes marked her as viddathari, but her attitude danced curiously close to being bas. If that wasn't concerning enough as a combination, the sway she had over Hawke troubled him. They had come here for no clear reason, taken on too much for too small a reward. He had told her that follies like this could claim her life someday -No. Thinking about it would not do, much though it was logical and increasingly inevitable that he must consider it. He could not. He spat out the thought in disgust, along with his thoughts of Tallis. If he needed a head to assign blame to after this, should they indeed encounter a cause for grief, he knew which neck would bear it. Once more, the pair skidded to what they now suspected (theorised, hoped without much hope) was the correct portcullis to break through, which meant, once more, Fenris was stuck waiting whilst Sebastien began at picking the lock. Short work or not, every moment he was forced to wait rather than run was increasingly intolerable. The Marcher broke the silence first. Fenris would have rather let it remain. "It may not be my place to ask, Fenris, but if I may; what happened between you and Hawke?" The growl was immediate. "Nothing of matter to you.” The elf curled himself into a lean against the wall, stood in the corner beside the locked gate, teeth bared in a warning sneer. He looked like a leashed dog ready to snap at anyone that dared reach for it or its few possessions. If Sebastien took notice, he hardly let it show. "Yet it does seem to matter.” He glanced up at Fenris from his work at the gate locks, his tone softened as he surveyed the man he counted as a friend. “You appear to care for her a great deal." "And you know me, do you?" the words whipped back, lashing like a swiped claw. "I just wondered where the two of you stumbled?" The chantry brother persisted with the same patient, steady tone he always used, and Fenris decided in that moment that he well and truly did loathe it rather than admire it. There was nothing to admire in being deliberately obtuse. “You seem good for each other, even now, " Sebastien carried on. "And for a time, you seemed… well. Happy.” The word drove into Fenris like a knife - an unexpected blade right through the throat. His jaw tensed, trying to work off some of the pain of it. Still, even with him struck down, the words continued: “From what we can tell on the outside, it just... Stopped." “Are you done?” Sebastien had expected the words to be angry, defensive, guarded - any of Fenris’ usual repertoire when having a conversation outside of his comfort. But that tone was different. It had no fight - only grieved exhaustion, as though asked from the floor by a man waiting with wearing cynicism for an assault to halt unneeded blows. He watched the elf in quiet, wondering what hurt he was holding onto and feeling unable to share. He hated to see either of his friends suffering and stuck in place like this, never mind both of them. "Challenges can be overcome?", the chaplain prompted. "Not all challenges." "With the Maker’s help, they can." "That explains the perfect world we live in." Sebastien chuckled sadly at that, brows knotting in concession. He knew that Fenris wanted the topic left alone, but that didn’t mean that talking wouldn’t aid him. He would risk his hand being bitten off if it meant making sure Fenris could see it was extended. Tone softening further, aware that what he needed to ask was delicate, he persisted: "What made you stop wanting to pursue her?" Even though they were not walking, Fenris seemed suddenly to be struck still. The grimace that took him was as though he had been speared by a force of physical pain. If words could inflict wounds, Sebastien’s question seemed to have run him through. "I never stopped.” Sebastien had never heard the elf’s voice that way - it came from low within him, and it was shaken, the words forced out of him like the rattled exhale of a final breath. It nodded to a depth of feeling Sebastien knew all too well: he had felt it when he learnt of his family’s massacre. To hear the elf feel so strongly over Kathryn - it was admirable, as well as excruciating to witness. “But I cannot,” Fenris continued. The way he faltered, an abruptness to the edge of his words, suggested that he had planned on saying more, but could not. There were either too many details or he could select none at all; most likely, Sebastien guessed, they were either too private or too incorporeal to share, or both. “There is -”, the elf persisted, or attempted to, speaking as though he were struggling around empty lungs. “Too much - it was unfair. On her." "She doesn't seem to have moved on, either?", Sebastien offered, attempting guesses at the facts within the silences. "And whose fault is that?!” Suddenly, the elf snapped again, no longer paralysed, loosing another snarling sneer Sebastien’s way, his eyes flashing a temporary hatred at the insistent intruder. “Mine?!" Sebastien hesitated. Withdrawing his tools from the lock and turning to truly face his companion, remaining knelt where he was so as not to rob Fenris of the superior height, he made a study of the flared loathing currently aimed at him. Any reaction he felt, he kept out of his voice, continuing calmly and unphased. The only discernible change was how carefully he took time over selecting each word: “All I mean to say is, if your concern was over releasing her to follow other - arguably easier? - paths…she isn’t taking them.” A prompting, knowing smile twinkled in the clergyman’s eyes: “She might still feel as you do. …However that is. That’s worth looking at, isn’t it?” With the sudden eruption of a growl and a crackle of lyrium, Fenris launched from the wall. "None of it matters if she dies on this fools’ errand.” He paced around the rogue, impatient, suddenly unable to be stationary and so stuck moving back and forth like a bound animal. His feet remembered those pathways well - there was a rhythmic, wretched comfort in it. “We have no reason to be here. She takes on the problems of others, even if they give her no reason. Even if they harm her -" It had been vexing him this whole trip, and he had said as much to Hawke, and now look - "I can think of many reasons for her to care for you, Fenris,” the gentle voice interrupted. “And you are worthy of that care, should you let it in." The elf spat his retort bitterly, bristling. "I was not speaking of that." With the facial equivalent of a shrug, Sebastien turned back to his work. A final click, a metallic clunk, and the gates opened. For a moment, both felt a surge of joy, but it was swiftly grounded: the scratch and drag of the metal rumbled and sang through the halls, enough to bring half the guard down upon them. The pair eyed it, wincing as one as the sounds bounced around the empty stone. "...Perhaps you should try your prayers again after all,” Fenris muttered. It would be of more use than the current flapping of Sebastien’s mouth. Despite their predicament, the Chantry brother smiled, another glint to his eye: "I never stopped."

[loneworldgazer]

Hi! I'm not sure if this request is okay or not... but could I have some Seijoh 3rd years X a reader who's just barely 5 feet, and seems super shy at first but is actually really energetic, they just have a hard time talking to people? I've only been following your blog for a few days now, but I really love your content! 💕

seijoh third years x gen!reader

:000 thank youuuUUU, i felt like i went off topic again, sorry :((

i love you *cat noises* (also isn’t like barely 5 feet y/n’s nearly at any of the dudes’ crotch 💀 💀 )

also pray for me i have to see my homophobic english teacher almost everyday grr

i’m online on the weekdays and offline most of the time due to gadget restrictions :((, sorry for late late late written request 

you were adorable, tooru loved you :33

that means a lot of headpats when you agree with him and it would always fluster you and you would always slide your mask up to hide yourself 

PLEASE the third years adored you, you were their favourite person 💀💀 they loved seeing you go all shy at everything they do and partly bullying oikawa which you weren’t

y/n: that’s wrong though.. i thought oikawa was correct?

oikawa: seeee?? *head pat* good darling~ you defitenely know who’s the right and wrong one in the situation💫💫

of course they respected you and never went too far with their teasing, yep they had boundaries but that doesn’t mean they can’t mess with you

oikawa: y/n-chan!! you’re supposed to defend me!!

y/n: when?? you were in the wrong though??

mattsun: agreed.

makki: correct. 

iwaizumi: the statement that they’ve said is genuine and truthful.

matsuhana + oikawa were the same bozos on you every single day 

they would do random bs there and then, making the others done with them 

hanamaki would bend near your ear and ask you to pass his bottle, matsukawa would randomly hold your chin to make him face you whenever you were talking to him and not facing him 

and 

oikawa at one point wanted to take his shirt off like that one scene with suga (which i don’t understand when suga was like “hah, get used to it~” to yachi when they could’ve changed in a locker room or the club room?? like bruh it’s that simple 😎👍👍) but iwaizumi wacked his head and shouted at him to not do anything inappropriate 

and more stupidity involving matsukawa shoving you into his nasty ass sweaty chest by lifting his shirt over your head and hanamaki would wipe cream off your cheek when he purposely pushed it to your cheek  and oikawa sneaking you his fangirls’ chocolates when he couldn’t eat most of them in your bag (he loved his fangirls but it was too much to consume-)

that’s why you adored iwaizumi 

he wasn’t a piece of shit like some people- i mean he wasn’t bothered when you constantly hide behind his back 

you were.. interesting. 

you were pretty quiet and you look really reserved and soft, those thoughts were in his head when he practised his serves but what he didn’t noticed was you since he focused really hard 

you were stimming, you let out a loud woah and clapped, wiggling in your seat 

matsuhana were right at your side and stared at your reaction, holy shit you were cute when you were excited and rather loud 

you just joined the team with no knowledge of volleyball of course you’ll be amazed

well not actually no knowledge, bestie dragged you to their matches and after that you actually watch volleyball with your parents when they let out a relieved breath that you weren’t bothered anymore when they always asked if you wanted to watch any volleyball matches with them and you would join in

they thought it was out of pity but you genuinely wanted to watch it

they looked so cool, you couldn’t resist cheering for them 

oikawa noticed you cheering when you glanced back at the pair near you who were laughing and you whined for them to stop 

oh dear oikawa gushed and his best friend didn’t even noticed you and raised his eyebrow when he saw oikawa all distracted

days and weeks came by and you were suddenly bursting with energy and jumping up and down when they agreed with your strategy to perfect their game play and when they would practise and show off to you and you just wouldn’t stop getting over of how swaggy they looked 

you were pretty happy for the most part, your team fills you with euphoria over and over again and never fails to put a smile on your face 

the left you :DD everyday 

okay, here’s the thing 

matsuhana waved you over to them, wanting to talk to you and whispered to you secret agent style even though there was no need- 

oikawa’s fangirls

mattsun: do you know the unknown creatures that wait near the door at 2p.m. every afternoon??

makki: yeah, yeah the ones that are attracted to oikawa??

y/n: huh isn’t that-

you choked out laughing when you realized what both of them were referring to

of course you knew who they were

they were loud like you

but

nice 

well most of them, they would gush about oikawa but they were kind enough on not to do it in front of you often cause they knew majority of them were annoying :000

but bits of his fans, scary

fan: oh so that’s how usual volleyball practises are? gosh i would be so happy just to be near oikawa- oops sorry! 

y/n: :DD it okay

 they devoted their lives to a simp, an idiot who just loves aliens and volleyball and his friends 😔

you avoided them at every chance, the other fangirls actually protecting you ;’’’’DD but sometimes the mean ones got to you and you had a hard time defending yourself 

“you’re just a slutty whore whose all over oikawa, probably the same with the others. you probably had-” they droned on about very nasty things you would NEVER DO and some of the comments would jab at your heart and you would shake your head and run

you couldn’t hide it to the team and angrily fumed at yourself by troubling the team

oikawa didn’t wait, he grabbed your hand and asked where they were

you told him, crying and putting up your mask and facing the fans again and chills made you twitch a lot when oikawa commanded them to come over and apologized 

the fans froze, stuttering and being completely obvious that they didn’t breathed any of your air even though they did but oikawa rolled his eyes and coldly chuckle and approached them himself

you were panicking so you didn’t watch and look the other way 

it was a blur when he held your hand again and walked you back to the gym when the others anticipated  both of your presence

the team approached you and immediately trapped you in questions and oikawa cooled down and waved off that his business with the fans were finished 

you wiped the last form of your tears and tackled oikawa which made him squel and you lightly punched his chest and banged your head onto it multiple times

y/n: you’re fucking scary when you’re mad

he blinked at this and looked at you who pouted at him and he chuckled and rubbed your back when you hugged him again as a thank you 

the other members broke into chaos on how they were confused, why is oikawa getting hugged by their precious manager and saying that it’s not fair to tease y/n who was in a sensitive position and wanted oikawa to apologize 

guess everything was okay and the fans didn’t bother with you ever again

especially with your captain who bared his fangs to anyone that hurted you

[excelsi-or]

your type (pt. 9)

Hello wonderful people!! I started a summer job and have been reading a SHIT ton, so I haven’t been writing as much. But I’m kinda back into this story again, and we’re about past halfway so I think we can get this done. :) I hope you’ve all been well~~

w.c. 3.1k (yeah, i’m not apologizing for length anymore. i hope you’re all cool with that lol)

pairing: jihoon x OC/reader

pt. 1; pt. 2; pt. 3; pt. 4; pt. 5; pt. 6; pt. 7; pt. 8

“You have a new boyfriend,” Jungkook says the next time they meet up for lunch in the fall semester.

She shrugs, studying her mug. “I guess so.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “You’re still apprehensive.”

“It’s only been 2 months.”

“That’s enough time to know, don’t you think?”

She shakes her head. “It really isn’t.”

Jungkook rests his chin in his palm. “I told you I loved you after two months.”

“We were young and naïve then.”

With a smirk, he doesn’t bother to point out that that first ‘I love you’ had been only three years ago. “Well, how does he feel?”

“Not sure.”

“Trust your instincts on this,” Jungkook encourages. “You have amazing intuition. You told me before I’d even fully moved in with Taehyung that I’d probably wind up dating him.”

“I said that because Taehyung is a good looking, intelligent man and anyone would date him if they were in his proximity long enough.”

Jungkook snorts. “I guess that’s a fair point. But come on. What’s your gut telling you?”

“My gut says that it’s confused,” she replies honestly. “I can’t gauge how honest he is with me.”

“You can’t compare him and Byunggu. No one knew that Byunggu was going to blindside you like that.”

She chuckles. “Do you know how much he’s come up in the last few months? I haven’t talked about him in forever, and all of a sudden, he’s just the topic of every conversation.”

“New boyfriend will do that. Especially after what happened last time.”

She runs a hand through her hair.

“As someone who has dated you, trust me when I say, you’re an all-in kind of lover.” He nudges her fingers with his. “So just go all in.”

“Go all in? And then?”

“Well, if you get hurt in the end, we’re here. You have people around you to hold you up and take care of you. But you can’t go into every relationship anticipating an end.”

She studies the chai in her mug, the way it ripples when she moves her hands even a little. “I guess you’re right.”

Jihoon (13:41)

Hey, lemme know when you’re done at lunch.

Got some stuff I want you to hear before we head home.

Jungkook nods his head towards the phone lighting up at her elbow. “Is that him?”

She nods.

“Are you going to reply?”

“He wants to know when I’m done with you so he can show me something he’s working on.” She fires off a quick text.

“Works in progress?”

“I guess they’ve been less and less finished, yeah.”

Jungkook hums. “If Yoongi hyung were here, he’d say that means Jihoon really likes you.”

She finds Jihoon in the studio an hour later. Bumzu, one of the TAs, had directed her to the studio when she’d appeared in the music building.

“You’re legendary,” Bumzu had said. “Anyone who’s had Jihoon’s attention this long is legendary.”

She’d had no response for that.

Gently, she touches Jihoon’s arm to make him aware of her presence. Jihoon looks up at her and slides his headphones off. Wordlessly, he passes them to her, and she takes a seat in the spare chair. With her feet up, and her knees hugged to her chest, she listens.

“Can you bring up the sound of the piano? The bass seems to be overpowering it.”

She does this for an hour, and he adjusts as they go along. By the end of it, Jihoon is thoroughly pleased with how the song’s turned out.

“I wish I was as useful for your chemistry research,” Jihoon chuckles. He takes the headphones and puts them on the desk. “You going home?”

“No, I actually have dinner plans.”

Jihoon tilts his head at that. “You do?”

“Correction, we have dinner plans.”

“We do?”

“Jihyo told me to tell you that we’re going for dinner with her and Seungcheol.”

Jihoon’s sweet questioning face quickly changes into something of disgust. “Ew. A double date?”

“I think Jihyo wants to tell me something.”

“And Cheol and I need to be there? Why?”

She shrugs. “I have no idea.” She kisses the top of his head as she stands. “But you need to be ready by 5:30, okay? So, no spending the night here.”

Jihoon hums his agreement. He catches her hand and tugs her back towards him. He pouts up at her until she concedes to a kiss, a bemused smile on her face.

As she closes the studio door behind her, she bumps into someone. Stumbling away from her is a girl she recognizes but can’t place.

The other woman recognizes her first. “You’re Wheein’s friend, aren’t you?”

It takes her a moment. “Byulyi?”

Byulyi smiles at her. Her eyes dart to the door she’d walked out of and the smile on her face falters. “How are you?”

“Good. Just heading home.”

“You taking a music class this semester?” Byulyi asks, her eyes flicking to the door again.

“Oh.” She gets the meaning and the looks. “No. Just visiting someone.”

“Lee Jihoon?”

She holds her breath for another story and Byulyi doesn’t fail her. They start to walk towards the exit.

“If you’re friends with Wheein, you must be a nice person.”

She questions the connection, but doesn’t press that point. “And?”

“So,” Byulyi smirks, “why are you hanging around Lee Jihoon? The man’s manipulative and a swindler. He’ll con you of the love you have to give and leave you heartbroken.”

They push out into the sunlight, enveloped by the dying heat of the day. “He knows the right words to say and he knows exactly when to say them to get to you.”

If she hasn’t learned that already, then she’s an idiot. With a deep breath, she thanks Byulyi for the anecdote and the information. Byulyi is on the list of women Jihoon’s dated. These women follow her around now; the stories are variations of each other.

And at this point, she really doesn’t know what to do with them.

“I heard another one.” She sets her backpack down at the end of the dining table.

Jihyo glances up from her evolution flashcards. “Who?”

“Moon Byulyi.”

It only takes Jihyo a second to place the name. “Wheein’s music friend?”

“Yeah.” She empties her backpack on the table and then takes her water bottle to the sink to refill it. “I don’t know what to make of it. Apparently other people know Jihoon and I are…” She struggles to find a word.

“Dating?” Jihyo chuckles.

“I haven’t told him that his exes keep telling all his secrets.”

“I promise you, the look on his face when he looks at you isn’t one of a man who’s in for the sex or even just for the chase. He’s in. For all of that and all of you. I promise you that.”

The boys are already sat at a table when the girls arrive. Seungcheol pulls Jihyo’s chair out, and Jihoon looks conflicted as to whether he should do the same. Smirking, she slips into the chair next to him. She doesn’t kiss his cheek like Jihyo. She grabs his hand under the table and gives it a squeeze.

“Have you looked at the menu?” she asks him.

Jihoon shakes his head. “Not yet.”

She studies him for a moment. “Do you trust me to order for you?”

At this offer, Jihoon tilts his head. “Go ahead.”

Conversation is light. They play rounds of cards while they wait for the food. When Jihoon wins the last round of Shit Head, Jihyo and Seungcheol roll their eyes.

“You guys can’t win every game.”

She laughs. “You guys just aren’t good at games of speed.”

“Or strategy,” Jihoon adds with a smile.

Seungcheol stacks the cards as the food arrives. She leans towards Jihoon as she names the various foods before him. He’s pleasantly surprised at the range. There are foods that he will definitely eat, and a few that are out of his comfort zone but aren’t off-putting.

“So, what do you have to tell us?” Jihoon asks once everyone’s tucked in.

With his head bowed towards his plate, practically shovelling food into his mouth, Seungcheol answers, “We’re dating.”

Jihyo hits his arm.

“What?” Seungcheol lifts his head slightly to look over at Jihyo. “Did you want to make it a big deal?” He straightens up and looks at the couple across him. “We have decided that we are only going to see each other. Be exclusive.”

It takes a lot of effort to keep from laughing. Jihyo hasn’t had any other man over in the last month and a half. This isn’t surprising. The formal announcement is.

“That’s great.” Jihoon’s focus also seems to be on the food as opposed to the actual conversation. She nudges him with her elbow and he puts his chopsticks down. He mimics Seungcheol’s formality. “Seriously. This is excellent news.”

With a good-natured roll of her eyes, Jihyo meets Jihoon’s gaze. “The way you’ve committed, Jihoon, it’s really made us reevaluate.”

Jihoon furrows his brow at Seungcheol, but his friend won’t look at him.

Later that night, back in the safety of their apartment, Jihoon demands, “What the hell did you tell Jihyo?”

Seungcheol raises his hands in defense. “She asked me last month what my take on your relationship was! I couldn’t just tell her you were in it for a bet! I actually like Jihyo. I wasn’t going to tell her that your relationship was a façade. The only reason she decided to even give me a chance is because you’d been given a chance.”

Jihoon’s gaze could level mountains. “You straight up lied to her.”

“It was that or tell her that we bet on your relationship. You don’t understand how protective they are of her.”

Jihoon shakes his head in frustration. “What?”

“Byunggu?”

“Holy shit. What’s wrong with him? Isn’t he an actor or something?” Jihoon is almost tired of hearing about this ex-boyfriend.

“They threatened to ruin his entire career by blasting it on social media how awful a person he is. The girls have receipts. Even if your girl’s deleted all the messages and rid him from her life, her friends are holding onto them.”

Well, at least Jihoon knows the other man’s definitely not castrated.

“So, yeah, I lied a little about how real your emotions are.”

“Jihyo’ll be furious when she finds out!”

“What else was I supposed to do, Jihoon?” Seungcheol watches Jihoon begin pacing. “I like this girl. Genuinely want to make this work. Even if I only get a few months with her, it’ll be worth it to me. And if I can show her that I genuinely want to be with her in the time before we’re revealed to be the biggest assholes of all time, then maybe I can keep my relationship.”

Jihoon shakes his head in disbelief. “You and Soonyoung put me up to this bet. I told you guys I wanted to back out months ago.”

Seungcheol remembers that day. He was so sure that he would never be one to settle. At least not for years to come. “You can still back out. We can just give up, tell the others that your game isn’t as good as we thought it was. And if we end the bet now while everyone can get away relatively scot free, maybe we should.”

Jihoon shrugs.

Seungcheol catches his friend’s eye. “And I’ve seen the look on your face, Lee Jihoon. You have real feelings you’re scared to admit to.”

He rolls his eyes. “Did it not occur to you that I have to pretend otherwise this won’t work?”

“Whether you’re pretending or not anymore, I don’t know. But what I feel for Jihyo is genuine.”

Hansol (14:21)

You still on campus?

Late lunch?

It’s October and the air is getting crisper. She steps out onto the green with a scarf wrapped around her neck. She finds Hansol at the campus coffee shop. There are two sandwiches on the table, one for each of them.

“Seungkwan?” She slides her bag onto the floor next to her.

“Yeah. It’s one of the reasons why I wanted to have lunch.” He grins up at her, all gums and bright eyes. “I can’t eat two sandwiches.”

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that Seungkwan gets upset when you don’t finish all your food?” She starts to eat and nods in his direction. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Hmm?” There’s a ball of food in his mouth and his questioning eyes make him look adorable.

Chuckling, she says, “Well, we’ve rarely eaten out without you asking me something.” She juts her chin in his direction. “What’s up?”

“I, uh…” His cheeks start to redden. “Have a question about a girl.”

Her brow furrows slightly. “That’s new. You’re usually pretty confident about that.” She chews a bit. “Shoot.”

“What made you decide Jihoon hyung was a good idea?”

She tilts her head.

“I have a reputation like hyung’s, but mine’s not real.” He studies the contents of the sandwich. “And I just… I don’t know how to convince her.”

“Ah.” After spending the last four months with the boys, she knows whose reputations are real and whose have been garnered by association. Hansol is the latter, not really dating all that much. The girls he pursues are particular, which must mean this girl he’s interested in is amazing.

“You could just tell her the truth.”

“Do you believe everything hyung says?”

She takes a bite, allowing herself some time to think through her answer. She decides that Hansol deserves her honesty. “Not at the beginning, no.” She lowers her sandwich and holds his gaze. “But a relationship doesn’t work unless you trust that the other person’s being honest. And it gets really tiring to second guess everything your partner’s saying.”

Hansol’s cheeks redden even more this time, the blush creeping up to his ears and down his neck.

“Have you lied to her already?”

Hansol’s eyes widen. His voice is tight, practically squeaking out, “What? No.”

She makes a face. “You’re blushing.”

“Oh.” Hansol’s brain scrambles. “I just… uh…” How does he avoid telling her that her relationship is a bet? “Talking about her makes me nervous.”

She lifts an eyebrow, impressed. It’s rare to see Hansol nervous or outside his comfort zone. “You must really like her.”

“Uhm… yes,” he fills his mouth with sandwich, “I do.”

“Then… just be honest. You’re not your reputation.”

Lettuce gets caught in his throat. “And she’ll just… buy that?” He coughs.

“If she’s smart? No. She won’t. But actions help. Prove to her you’re not your reputation. You’re a good guy, Hansol.”

Hansol stares at this woman who he has grown to like. Her company is great, she’s awesome at games, and her humour matches the group’s well. As conversation veers towards classes and research, Hansol can’t help but think about how the bet will end and how hurt she’s going to be. Four times over the next hour, his tongue almost slips. Almost letting out a secret that will definitely end her relationship. Not just with Jihoon but with every one of them.

She checks her watch. “I gotta get back to the lab. The NMR should be done now.” She slips out of her seat and pats his shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you coming for dinner tonight?”

She bends down to pick up her backpack, slinging it back over her shoulder. “It’s at yours, isn’t it?”

Hansol nods.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

As soon as Hansol walks into his apartment, he says to Seungkwan, “We need to call off the bet right now.”

Seungkwan has his pink apron on that the boys got him as a joke. “I’ve been saying that for about four months now.”

“Well, we really need to call it off.”

Seungkwan waves his spatula at Hansol, but his eyes fall to the iced Americano in his roommate’s hand and he calms down. “We both know that the guys aren’t just going to do that. Not when they know Jihoon’s this close to winning.”

“What?”

“Do you just ignore all of noona’s feelings? The look on her face when she looks at Jihoon hyung? She’s fallen for him already.” Seungkwan huffs and then takes a long sip from his drink. “It’s just a waiting game now.”

Hansol shakes his head as he heads to his room to drop off his things. “Tell everyone to come early. We need to talk about this bet right now.”

Hansol rarely asks for anything from the others, so when they receive his text, they’re there in thirty minutes.

“What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asks upon arrival. He slips out of his shoes, his eyes not leaving Hansol’s face. “Who’s dying?”

“We’re assholes and we need to call off the bet now.” Hansol grabs his hand to help him over the one step into the house. “If you guys want the money, I’ll give you the money. But I don’t want to see noona get hurt.”

Seungkwan counts heads. “Where’s Jihoon hyung?”

Joshua has his phone out. “He got stuck in the studio.”

Hansol immediately calls Jihoon. When Jihoon answers, he puts the phone on speaker and sets it in the middle of the small dining table.

“What’s going on, Hansol-ah?” They can hear a mouse clicking on the other end. “Dinner’s not for another hour. I can’t make it right now.”

“I want to talk about the bet and you need to be here.” Hansol leans closer to the phone. “Can we just call it off? Hyung, you already know that she likes you. And if she,” he glances at Seungkwan, “if she hasn’t fallen for you already, she’s falling now. So, can we just end this before anyone gets hurt?” Hansol tips his head both ways. “Or more hurt.”

“Yes!” Seungcheol pushes through to the front so Jihoon can definitely hear him. “Let’s call it off.”

The ripple of agreement through the group is comforting to Hansol, but everyone listens when Jihoon’s voice comes through again.

“You guys thought I was still faking it?” His voice is soft, vulnerable. He’s even stopped clicking around on the computer. “Guys, I,” he pauses, trying to bring himself to admit it, “I stopped faking months ago.”

Seungcheol slams his hands down on the table. “We got in a fight last month about this. What the hell are you saying?”

“You told Jihyo without consulting me first. I wasn’t going to tell you that you were right.”

Now, Jeonghan slams his hands onto the table. This second smack causes Jihoon to swear. “So, this is real? Lee Jihoon has a girlfriend?”

“Hanging up now.” They can hear the smile in his voice. “See you guys later.”