#anyone else religiously checking that tag and eating up the 1 post we get

[kradnie]

them as the frerard kiss.

yes i drew johnny with red hair. it will happen again.

[prolestariwrites]

Time To Go [6]: The Sparda Family Tree

Fandom: Devil May Cry Rating: M Characters: Nero, Dante, Vergil, Kyrie, Nico, Trish, Morrison Tags: Mystery, Humor, Missing Person, First Time, Family Drama, Family Bonding, Post-Canon Chapter: 6/9 Chapter [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Summary: When Kyrie goes missing, Nero goes on a desperate search to find her. Unfortunately, Dante and Vergil go too. Sparda boys shenanigans, fighting demons, a smattering of family drama, and male bonding (otherwise known as Nero’s worst nightmare). Please check it out below, or you can read on FFNet or AO3. Beta read by @copper-wasp.

Now posted! Chapter 6: The Sparda Family Tree, in which Nero learns about his grandparents and hatches a plan to get Kyrie back.

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Nero sits on the stained carpet, his back against the foot of the bed. He stares out the window, watching the occasional set of headlights drive by on the highway. The room is dark except for the glow of the television, turned to a muted religious station, where a preacher silently rails against the evils of humanity. On the bed opposite, Vergil snoozes with the occasional soft snore; behind him, Dante is stretched out on the mattress, munching loudly on his fourth bag of chips.

He jumps when something lands with a crunch on his lap. Nero looks down to see a small bag of salt and vinegar potato chips on his thigh. "Eat some more, kid," Dante says.

"Not hungry." Nero puts the bag on the floor next to him and turns back to the window.

"Gotta keep up your strength," Dante warns.

"I said I'm not hungry."

Dante doesn't answer. A few more minutes tick by, and Nero starts to feel antsy. He takes out his cell phone and presses the power button, seeing that it isn't even five yet. But there is a voicemail, so he quickly hits the call button and listens.

To his disappointment, it's just Nico. "Kids are down, dishes done, and I'm going back to the garage," she says on the message. "You owe me."

He grumbles under his breath as he ends the call. "Anything good?" Dante asks.

"No. Just Nico saying the kids were fine," sighs Nero.

"You're pretty good with them."

Nero snorts. "They're just kids. It's not that hard."

"I don't know about that." He hears Dante shift on the bed and open up another bag, the cellophane crunching loudly in the quiet room. "Not like you had anyone to show you how."

He looks over his shoulder at Dante, who is propped up on one elbow as the other hand fishes in the bag. His gaze then slides to Vergil, also on his side, only his back visible to them. "Even if he was around, doesn't mean he'd be any good at it," Nero mutters.

"That's true. We had our dad for a while and look how well we turned out."

Nero shifts to the side so he can look at Dante. "So you did know Sparda then?"

"Sure." He wipes his fingers on the bag, making more crinkling sounds, and then tears open a candy bar. "He didn't disappear until we were six or seven, so we knew him… A bit, anyway."

"He disappeared?" Nero frowns. "I don't think you ever told me that."

Dante shrugs. "Well I guess I just did."

Nero listens to him chew for a moment before asking, "Do you know for certain he's dead?"

"I dunno," Dante replies through chocolate and nougat. "I mean, he didn't come back, and he let Mother die. So yeah, he's probably dead." They lock eyes, and Nero quickly looks away. "Why you ask?"

"Just thinking about what Lir said." Nero focuses on a spot on the carpet as he remembers the empath's words. "A demon related to me."

Dante sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Nah. Sparda was a lot of things, but this ain't one of them."

"But you just said you only knew him a bit," argues Nero.

Dante leans an elbow on his knee and points at Nero. "So you're suggesting a two-thousand-year-old demon, who has been missing for three decades, has come back to kidnap your girlfriend?"

Nero shrugs. "I don't know. It's possible, isn't it?"

"It's ludicrous." They both look over at the sound of Vergil's voice, and he rolls over to shoot them a disdainful look. "Sparda is gone. And he would not do something to harm you."

"How do you know?" Nero argues.

"Because he regarded family above all else," Vergil says simply.

Dante gives a laugh, shaking his head, and Nero looks between them in confusion. "If Sparda was such a family man, then why did he leave you?" he asks.

The question is meant innocently enough, Nero's curiosity getting the better of him and curing him of his aversion to saying more than three words to Vergil. But Vergil jumps to his feet and growls, "He didn't leave."

"Then where is he?"

"I don't know. But he didn't leave." Vergil straightens his back, visibly trying to adjust his composure. "It's impossible. He loved our mother too much to just leave. Either he was killed, or something else stopped him from returning."

Nero feels an uncomfortable heat on his ears, and he glances at Dante. He feels a bit relieved that Dante does not look angry, but his head is bowed. "You guys never figured it out, did you?" Nero asks.

Dante huffs a laugh. "Never did. Tried for a while, but… nothing really to find." He looks up as Vergil sits on his own bed, and when they glance at one another, Nero is struck by how similar they are at that moment. "Suppose we should, one day."

"Maybe," Vergil replies. "Supposing you stop trying to kill me long enough."

"Me? Try to kill you?" Dante laughs. "I think you have that backwards, brother."

"I could help," Nero offers. They both turn at the same time, and Nero shrugs. "When this is over, and we get Kyrie back. I can help you look."

Vergil looks surprised, but Dante grins wide and leans over to pat him hard on the shoulder. "Sounds great! The Spardas on another road trip!"

"Yes, because this one is going so well," Vergil comments with a roll of his eyes.

Nero actually chuckles at that, rubbing the back of his head when Dante throws a bag of pretzels at him. "You never liked having fun. Even back then."

Vergil picks up the pretzels and throws them back at Dante, hitting him in the chest. "No, I just didn't like having fun with you. Mother and I did plenty of things together."

"Mama's boy," Dante teases as he rips open the bag and tilts his head back to dump the pretzels into his mouth.

Before it dissolves into an argument, Nero quickly asks, "What was Eva like?" Vergil frowns at him again, and Nero moves off the floor to sit at the end of Dante's bed. "I don't know anything about them at all."

Dante is still chewing, but Vergil looks visibly uncomfortable. Nero swallows thickly, wondering if he did the wrong thing, but then Vergil finally says, "She was lovely. Very beautiful and kind. Strong. Not unlike your Kyrie."

They look at one another for a long moment, and some of the worry that had simmered inside Nero begins to subside. He knows how difficult it can be to talk about the past, and it occurs to him that Vergil must feel just as badly about being abandoned as he does—more, possibly, since he actually knew his parents. Dante never seemed bothered, so Nero had assumed Vergil was the same way. Again he feels a wave of emotion as he thinks about them both being here in this awful motel room in the middle of the night, just for him, fighting demons and driving everywhere and having a dinner of stale potato chips, just to help him. Dante and Vergil are hardly the best family, but they are here, and that counts. Big time.

His cell phone rings, startling Nero out of his reflection. He pulls it out of his pocket and frowns to see how early it still is. The number is unfamiliar, but he swipes to accept the call. "Maybe it's the tow," he says as he lifts the phone to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Nero?"

He sucks in a sharp breath, his heart plummeting at the sound of her voice. "Kyrie? Is that you?"

"Yes, Nero, I—"

"Where are you?"

The others are on their feet, crowding around him, but Nero waves them off. One of them turns on the light as he tries to listen. "I don't know," she says. "They gave me something to read to you."

"They?" Fury rapidly fills him, and the pictures of Kyrie hurt and scared that he had tried to ignore come back rapidly in his mind.

"Two men. I—" She is cut off and there is a muted yelp, followed by muffled sounds. "Kyrie!" Nero shouts. "Kyrie!"

Another voice answers, deep, sounding strange as if he is disguising it. "One moment. The young lady broke the rules, so we must remind her of her instructions."

Panic swells in Nero's throat as he shouts, "You hurt one fucking hair on her, I swear to god—"

"Nero, please listen." Kyrie's voice interrupts him, and he chokes back a curse when he hears her. She sounds a bit breathless, as if she had been crying, and there is a burning behind his eyes and in his throat at how soft she sounds. "I've not been harmed. They will return me to you in exchange for the fortune."

"The what?" Nero hisses. "What fortune?"

"They want the remainder of the family fortune. All of it." She sucks in a sharp breath and whispers, "I tried to tell them, there is none, but they—no!"

"Kyrie!"

More movements, then the second voice returns. "Be at the clock tower in the center of Fortuna in two days."

The phone goes dead, and Nero gasps. "Wait! Wait!" Frantically he presses the redial button, but all he gets is a busy tone. He tries again and again, but the number won't connect, and in his frustration he throws his phone across the room, where it breaks into pieces when it hits the wall. "Damn it! Fuck!"

"Nero." Dante's hand on his arm actually steadies him, even though Nero finds it hard to breathe. "What did they say?"

"They want the fortune. Family fortune." His lip trembles as he looks up at Dante. "I don't have a fortune! I don't even have…" He looks between the two brothers, blinking back tears. "Is there money? I saw, in Urizel's vision, that was your home, right?"

Dante shakes his head. "There is nothing. It's all gone."

"The house is gone, but what about the money?" Nero pulls away, his eyes darting between them. "You had to have money, so where is it?"

"We told you that our father disappeared," Vergil snaps. "How are we supposed to know?"

"What about Eva?" Nero demands. "Her family? Did she leave a will, anything like that?"

"She was killed by an army of demons who burned our home to the ground," Veril growls. "What do you think, we're sitting on a treasure chest of some sort? All of it is gone, including this fortune, if it ever even existed."

Nero feels dizzy, and stumbles over to the wall, holding himself up with his palms and pressing his forehead to the cool surface. His heart is beating fast, too fast, but the wall is cool on his burning skin.

Behind him, Dante asks, "What do a bunch of demons want with money anyway?"

"Money is power in this world," Vergil answers.

Clenching his fist, Nero pounds on the wall. "We need to get some then. They want a fortune, so we get one." He smiles, a plan forming in his mind. "We can rob a bank. Someplace with money. The three of us, if we devil trigger then nobody can stop us."

"Woah, slow down there, kid," Dante barks. "You're talking about breaking the law."

An idea hits him and he turns around eagerly. "I know! The Order. Or what's left of it. They have all that money, we just have to take it. We deserve it anyway, we suffered just as much if not more than the city. We saved the city!" He grins at Dante. "You and I saved the city. And it was all raised in Sparda's name, right? That makes it practically ours."

Nero frowns as Dante shakes his head and says, "Nah. I'm not above a lot of things but I'm not interested in stealing."

"It's not stealing," Nero growls. "Kyrie is only in this position because of the Order and what they did. If anyone deserves that money, it's us. And her."

"And then what?" Nero glances at Vergil, who folds his arms as he wears a very pointed and unamused expression. "You go and take the wealth this Order left. And you deliver it in a bag to these people? Don't you think someone will notice it's gone? And we have no guarantee they'll even give her back."

"I have to try!" he shouts. "I have to do something, because I promised I'd protect her, and they fucking have her! Don't you get it?" He storms over to the side of the room, where he had tossed his coat and his gun. "You know what? I don't need you. Either of you. I can do this myself."

He pushes past Dante, who steps up to stop him. "Wait a minute, Nero, we don't even have a car—"

"I'll use devil trigger. I can get back to Fortuna that way." He stops at the door, his hand on the knob. Once more his arm is glowing, the demon blood still under control beneath his flesh, but ready for his word. Using the demon powers like this is something he usually avoids at all cost; but if it will allow him to save Kyrie, so be it.

Nero takes a deep breath and glances over his shoulder. "You coming or not?"

The second the words leave his mouth, he already knows the answer. Having them both with him during this had felt good. But now their disapproval stings more than he could have guessed.

He looks first at Vergil, who regards him coldly. Even though Vergil is his father, Nero doesn't care what he thinks, and definitely doesn't care if he comes along. It is what he has been telling himself from the minute they returned from the demon realm, and Vergil had not raised the fuss he had expected of a father reuniting with his son. Better to just leave it, he had decided for himself, those months ago; after all, he had never needed Vergil's or anyone's approval to get by, and getting his support now means nothing. But somehow the disapproving stare hurts, and he grits his teeth against the wave of shame that fills him under Vergil's glare.

Dante is just as opposed, but his expression is more uneasy. Nero does care what he thinks, and he hates that, especially now when he knows that Dante's right. Their relationship is stronger, built with every monster and every can of beer and every bad joke, and had even survived Nero's anger at Dante for hiding the truth. In fact, Nero tries to remember a time when Dante didn't have his back, and fails, meaning this is the first time since they had met that he will truly be alone. He can feel his face burning, muttering a curse under his breath as he squeezes the doorknob. "Fine," he snaps.

He swings open the door and stops short. To his shock, Morrison is standing there, his brows raised, as Nero gapes at him. "What the hell?"

"Can I come in?" Morrison asks. He steps by and removes his hat without waiting for Nero to answer. "Took me a while to track you boys down. You left a mess on the interstate."

"Our mistake," Dante says. He folds his arms and asks, "What are you doing here?"

"I got something for you." He looks over his shoulder at Nero and jerks his chin. "You'll want to see this too."

The others move as Morrison walks to the television, but Nero remains frozen. Breathing deeply, he looks out into the night, dark and hidden beyond the glow from the motel. Kyrie is there, alive. But going now means going alone.

Nero looks down at his arm, the faint glow still pulsing beneath his skin. He can do it with this power, but does he want to?

"Nero."

He turns at Dante's voice. Dante nods at the television. "Come see this."

Morrison had attached a small device to the set, and warily Nero steps closer. "What is it?"

"It's Kyrie," Morrison says with a grim smile.

[mentalcurls]

11. Una scelta stupida

Episode 11! The end of S1! I almost can’t believe I made it, I’m emotional. So this is I think the longest of all my analysis/ramblings posts of season 1 (almost 6 pages on GDoc) so good luck to any all brave souls who read this! Hopefully you’ll find interesting my opinions on trophy husbands, pregnancy scares, new and old headcanons on Elia and Edoardo and boys seldom facing the same consequences girls do for their actions. And of course at the end you can find the results for the Bechdel test!

look how cute the girls look in Eva’s pjs!

ok, so Eva’s parents are not home and she has the house to herself… except she hesitated quite a bit the night before to tell the girls she was available to take Silvia (and the rest of them) in; that’s not Eva-like tbh, the only reason I can see to do that is if her parents had somehow found out about Edoardo and Silvia’s rendezvous and had forbidden Eva to have anyone over

Eva’s mom has such a cool job, from the way Eva tells it she’s a textile buyer or seller (aka the dream for me): she’s one of the people who decide a couple of years before we see the runways what will trend in fashion as far as materials and print go

Giorgio Brighi is a trophy husband and he knows it and enjoys the perks

Sana being the icon she is and not drinking coffee, but tea

Federica. Fede. Girl. You had a perfectly good cutting board to put the oranges you already squeezed on. Why didn’t you??

btw, ok, I get it, orange juice is breakfast-y, but it’s JUNE which is not exactly prime orange season. Why force it? Put Fede to prepare toast with jam, she can make a mess of crumbs

if I’d just woken up all disoriented like Silvia, Eleonora crossing her arms at me would have scared me like shit

still, bless Eleonora Sava and her no-nonsense approach to the following conversation: Silvia can’t not eat, nothing special happened the night before, there’s a question they need to ask, how sure is she, ok so they’ll go to the free clinic this week, all without paraphrasing or being vague or judging Silvia; that is definitely the best way she could have handled it

and it is of course so important that the two people who talk to Silvia the most are Eleonora and Sana, the one who she had the most problems with, the ones she’s the most convinced will hate her

look at her! Silvia apologizing for being unwell and throwing up because she made a fuss! She was not low maintenance, she was actually so high maintenance she couldn’t anything by herself, she inconvenienced all the girls and forced them to take care of her and she made a scene! She doesn’t really know, but of course she imagines she made a scene at the party, arriving drunk at the party and making a spectacle of herself, fainting, making people worry about her. It is the very worst thing for her because she simultaneously acted not at all like a proper, refined girl and was super high maintenance: the stuff of nightmares for her

and if this scene isn’t a mirror of the very first scene of the series, where Gio and Marti mocked Eva for her mark in the history test and Gio “tried” to cheer her up saying that she was good at other things (I’d link to my post about ep.1 for my thoughts on that, but Tumblr would disappear my post from tags so 🤷‍♀️): except here the girls tell Silvia she’s good at something that genuinely is hard work and she actually is good at and worked to be good at and makes her proud of herself, even though the atmosphere is still silly and light and there are still jokes to make her laugh

I so empathize with the girls all looking at one another when it’s time to ask Silvia is she’s pregnant cause none of them wants to say it

Silvia can’t find her voice to answer them verbally 💔

Sana putting her mug down and exhaling, Fede inhaling sharply, opening her mouth like she wants to say something but can’t find the words

Eva is the one to think to ask, albeit indirectly, if Silvia took a test and she’s the one who reads the test and recognizes what it means: so she is pretty familiar with pregnancy scares and all that goes with them apparently, but wait a minute, why, exactly? Eva??

and really, I’d like to take a minute and appreciate Eleonora Sava here, because for all that she insisted on Silvia having safe sex, on taking her to the free clinic the first time around, for all she was pretty pissed when Silvia told them she and Edo didn’t use a condom, now that she could say “I told you so” in a multitude of ways from the most direct to the most subtle, she says nothing and offers Silvia an actionable plan for the near future to make her feel supported and comfortable 👏👏👏

honestly, Eleonora being able to just say entire sentences backwards is cool yet slightly creepy

yeeees the theatre kids are back! I missed them 💖 (they’re so passionate and they don’t care what people think of them and they reach out to people! Fucking role models)

theatre girl keeps sneaking looks at Ele, is there some unrequited crushing going on here???

Ele’s thumbs up cracks me up

bless him, theatre guy really wants people to believe there are almost no spots left, he’s so cute

I just realized who theatre guy goes to harass after Eva and Eleonora: he yells “Santini!” and while that is a pretty common surname, I know deep in my heart of hearts that he’s talking to Elia, so Elia used to be in the theatre group too when his, Eva’s, Gio’s and Marti’s class was in Succursale NEW HEADCANON ACCEPTED you can now pry it from my cold dead hands

so Edo has been texting Ele for a couple of weeks and she hasn’t answered any of his texts and, still, he waited at least ten days before trying to talk to her again: my headcanon that he thinks he’s some sort of mysterious romance novel guy a là Edward Cullen gets stronger and stronger (honestly, check out Brooding YA Hero on Twitter, half of the tweets are Edo, the other half are Nico when he’s trying to impress Marti. Honestly: these guys)

and again with that stupid “Eduardo” when they could have gone with gems such as Eriberto

his “Buongiorno, eh” that implies that she should have been the one to greet him first and she ignored him instead, even though he was standing behind her, find his perfect match in Ele’s “Wow” which shows exactly how impressed she is that he finally had the balls to at least actually talk to her face to face again

OMG the way he says her full name like he expects to get a prize or something for discovering it, like he expects her to be impressed and for that to woo her into his arms, instead of sounding borderline stalkerish

in fact, Eva is supremely unimpressed throughout the conversation

backwards compliments will get you nowhere Edo: if you tell her she’s smart, you don’t say she doesn’t show it the next minute (but again, this is a typical Brooding YA Hero move)

that “Everytime you say no to me, I only want you more” is straight out of some clichè romance novel like GOD, can you be more obvious Edo?

Ele’s unimpressed raised eyebrow gives me life

and when nothing else works, like any good asshole, Edoardo goes goes for simple shock value, goes for the thing that will make Ele look stupid and uptight and a jerk if she gets mad about it, goes for words she can’t have a rebuttal for, goes for fake vulnerability and kindness (as proven by the way he smiles smug like he knows exactly what he is doing), goes for physical attractiveness which can imply objectification and sexualization (especially when you think about the fact Edo complimented her intelligence but immediately backtracked a couple of line earlier)

Eva saved you there, Edoardo. Ele might have been taken aback for a second, but when she saw you smirking, she started gearing up for one hell of a roast and I honestly struggled to think how you would have survived another one

the girls just march into the doctor’s office unannounced???

Sana’s eyebrow raise at the doctor’s “Salam aleikum” is 💯💯💯

for realsies though, how sarcastic is that “Benissimo” from the doctor?? Like, she spent what I expect was an excruciating amount of time teaching Silvia how to put on a condom (based on how scared Silvia was of the fake dick she would have had to practice on) and now it seems she didn’t even use it? She’s over it

oh, but Ele and Sana have both been thinking bout this, they’ve planned how things will go for Silvia: in Ele’s mind how she’ll have to have an abortion, she doesn’t even need her parents permission since she’s 16 but at the same time she’s just 16 and the father is not in the picture as well as an asshole, she has the maturità next year and she can’t really handle a pregnancy and a newborn baby at the same time as school and her exams and the psychological aspects, and she has the beginning of an ED on top of all of that; Sana on the other hand is planning for Silvia keeping the baby, influenced by her being religious, but she’s a practical girl nonetheless and thinking of adoption I expect, then of how Silvia will have to face the music at home and at school and the girls will have to support her, but also of how a pregnancy might be in some ways good for her because it will make her have a completely different relationship with her body and food and boys and even with her family

and Silvia doesn’t speak. Silvia doesn’t have an opinion in this. She tried to “kill Edoardo’s baby” the previous week, but here she doesn’t speak, even when it is her body and potentially her baby on the line

the only thing she’s insistent about is that she took a test, even when the doctor is prescribing some actual medical tests (not saying pharmacy bought pregnancy tests aren’t accurate, but they can sometimes be wrong)

she’s just so resigned

Silvia and the other girls don’t seem to know what an ovulation test is?? But they were so well informed about contraceptives in ep.5! Fall of a myth

Silvia’s poor cousin who wants to have a baby but can’t check if she’s fertile so she can have sex at the right moment 😕

the relief on the other girls faces when the doctor says Silvia’s not pregnant

and the doctor is good, she saw right through Silvia and understood immediately what was the actual problem, but I’m kind of mad she didn’t say anything more than “You can’t live on love and air” to Silvia about eating better, she’s a doctor ffs

woman-on-a-mission-Eva is back and walking towards Marti, I’d be scared if I were you bby, she even wore the heavy boots to kick your ass better

aaand he tries to act  like nothing’s wrong; Marti, did you really think you’d get away with it??

Eva is so impressed Marti called her to talk and all he talks about is Gio and not telling Gio about how he knew of Eva cheating and the mess he made

and I can’t even imagine how betrayed Eva feels right now: not only she finds out about more lies Gio told, but it is also confirmed that someone she relied on, someone she thought was on her side, at least back then, was not, ever

and I said it before, but Gio and Marti would happily take a bullet for one another, Eva was a bit naive there thinking Martino would side with her; sure, it turns out he didn’t exactly side with Gio for the last part of this story, acting in a self-serving way, but he sure as hell never really spared much thought to Eva

just so you know, I’m torn: half of me is like “he did all of that and now he has the nerve to CRY?” and wants to grab him and shake him out of stupid; the other half is going “my baby! my poor baby! OMG, this is breaking my heart make it stop” (S2 I blame you)

“un po’ un’infamata”/”a bit of a shitty thing” UN PO’? UN PO’???? (imagine me pulling a full Captain Raymond Holt reacting to Agent Rosa Diaz telling him he and his husband need to “bone”)

everytime Eva turns to Marti, then turns away, she gets more disbelieving and a piece of her heart breaks a bit more

and all the pieces fall into place, finally, so Eva finally feels like she has the full picture of when and how her life fell apart: she takes a step back while listening to Marti, look at it attentively, and she can’t help but pinpoint one specific moment as the one where it all went to hell

yes, great choice telling a kid with a mentally ill mother he’s a “psycho”

“It’ll sound absurd, but I never wanted to hurt you” YES IT DOES SOUND ABSURD AND I DON’T NEED PERMISSION FROM YOU TO THINK THAT MARTINO ALSO GO TO HELL

also, look who’s been taking lesson from bodice-ripper-clichès-spouter extraordinaire Edoardo Incanti *drumroll* Martino, and the pupil is already better than the master cause he’s far more convincing

and I can’t really begin to pretend to understand what goes through Eva’s head here, why she decides to joke and forgive Marti this quickly: is it because she’s seen the big picture and come to her decision and has decided thing would have come to this one way or another anyways? Is it because she’s gotten attached to the idea of Marti being into her and she’s planning to give him a chance, like she obviously does at the end of the year party? Is it honestly because she feels like it’s karma/the universe paying her back for how she hurt Laura? Is it because her and Marti were really close even before she dated Gio? (which makes only half sense to me since they’ve only known one another four year tops, and yeah, okay, it’s four years, but it’s also just four years)

that shot where Eva leans her head on Marti’s shoulder though. Poetic cinema.

and WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Gio is there

and like, why’s Gio so worried about justifying who he’s with, when he and Eva are on a pause??

also he’s in red again here with his brother. But he’s in dark green at Eva’s the next day, which is in his normal palette of cold colors

“There was a very real possibility you would’ve rejected me or that a mess would have happened.” and that’s it. The possibility of a mess never actually happened in Gio’s view of things, because he never really face much consequences of his cheating on his girlfriend: Laura dumped him, sure, but she made her peace with him, he still goes to her house even; his friends are still his friends and support his new relationship (Marti wanting to break them up is not because of the cheating, is because of his own reasons so it doesn’t count rn), no one really holds a grudge against him, he doesn’t have a bad reputation, he doesn’t feel insecure at all, actually going from girl to girl like that probably boosted his self esteemed and raised the opinion his friends have of him

and while with Canegallo Eva didn’t actually kiss him first, so at least she had that; with Gio she did, she kissed him first, so she probably feels like she deserved all the shit that happened to her

and really, these kids waiting for signs from the universe through playlists on shuffle, who do they think they are, Romeo and Juliet? (They probably do.) (They should have seen the break up coming then, though, cause Romeo and Juliet don’t really have a “ and they lived happily ever after”)

and finally Eva lies it all out on the table for him, all the thing he never fully understood she had to go through because of him, of them

and maybe this hurt him, but as Eva says, she’s been hurting for a whole year and he never got that, he never hurt, he never tried to really understand and support her, he was just same old Gio and a good boyfriend by his own standards, but I doubt he ever stopped to ask Eva what she really needed (and like, it’s fine. He is 16 years old, he’ a kid, he’s allowed to make mistakes, but he needs to be put face to face with them to see them and grow, and I love him so much anyways, he’s my favorite always)

on a less profound note, those shoes. They really look like a perfect Tumblr aesthetic pic when they hug and their feet are close, the Eva gets on her tiptoes

and I’d kind of forgotten how they show of the sex scene? again, like I said in ep.2, 7.6 Due ore and the red room scene in 8.5 Tu non sei di Milano are perfect and I love them and I wouldn’t change a thing, but it objectively true Evanni sex scenes are more “graphic” than Nicotino sex scenes

confirmed that staring contests are Evanni’s version of post sex-cuddles

Maria Sorgato is back! Look at her being a queen and rocking that black Gucci-esque top and playing MC

oh, God, Canegallo sounds like one of the guys who run the rides at local fairs and hypes up 13-year-olds to take those 5-for-the-price-of-4 deals on ride tickets

now, I’m Italian, I went to 4 end of the year parties during my 5 years of high school and we never, not once, did something so cheesy as this, nor did a 1995 song ever play at such a party, nor any Renato Zero song, and definitely not “I migliori anni della nostra vita” (which I’ve read someone call “somewhat of a hymn for Italian teenagers” and I was like W H A T? Where? When?) so I can say for sure this is terrible representation of Italian culture, but a cute-ish scene on its own

Alice waving to Eva, awww 💕

Gio waving to Eva, double awww 💕 + bonus Elia and Peccio hugging like there’s no tomorrow next to Gio 💕

Eva lately doesn’t have much time or patience for niceties with Marti, she goes straight to the point

woah, such enthusiasm from Marti at the news Eva is finally single!

awww but it’s because he’s a good friend, he’s worried about how she feels, if she’s hurting! (Ok this is me being bitter, he actually is a cutie about this)

what is Marti looking at when Ele is checking her phone? What draws him to the bar as fast as possible? Gio??

YASSS for surprise hugs and amends! Good for you Laura, you’re looking like a nicer person already without all those grudges

oh, Silvia’s dress is so cute, except why does it fit so poorly? The neckline is all skewed and the armhole gapes! It’s her Revenge dress™! She’s been planning her look for 3 weeks! It should be tailored for the gods!

on the other hand, look at Silvia walking out of the woods, both the real-but-fake ones that are part of the decor and the metaphorical ones of the last few months

and in fact, look, they make light of the incident at Alice’s friends party!

except then the monsters of months past (Edo) come visit and start looming over Silvia

Edoardo jumping over that fence thing to go talk to Silvia is 100% Olio Cuore romance novel clichè

Silvia actually takes a few step backwards as he get closer to talk to her, she’s honest to God scared of what he wants to tell her, she fully expects him to be there to make fun and humiliate her again

and then he kisses her on the cheek! Why? Dude, I went off William og in my previous discussions of your behaviour towards Silvia and that means you don’t want Silvia around you because she’s too clingy and you don’t want her to believe you have feelings for her: why kiss her on the cheek then? You apologized, you were nice, you could have just said “See you around at school next year” and be done with it, leave her without any delusions; instead you went for the one act that might give her hope she has some of your affection. Why? Is is your inner Harlequin hero taking control of your body? Is it just that you secretly enjoy having a harem of girls pining for you? (oh, soz, you do enjoy that, I’d forgotten)

look how excited Silvia is! She was expecting the worst and she got almost the best instead! Of course she’s enamoured with Edo all over again, he’s not even a monster anymore!

at least he says bye to Eva too

this party has been pretty amazing for Eva up till now, whereas it must have been so fucking stressful for poor Ele?! She has to manage Edoardo, both making sure he fulfills his promise and keeping him at bay re: their date, she has to find fricking Silvia and on top of that she finds gay porn on Marti’s phone

btw, how did that happen? Ok it’s in his favorites, but you don’t exactly see browser favorites from the phone app 🤔 girl you wanna tell me something? Were you planning some nasty surprise for him cause Eva told you he was the one who triggered the fight, the school-wide rumors, the whole mess with Gio? (Look at Ele hitting back for her girl, cause sure she’s into Eva but she also just wants her to be happy and Marti made her definitely not happy 😡 also Evanora always on my mind)

and then 30 seconds straight (lol) of Eva being baffled and confused and just generally shook

Bechdel test: this episode passes the test! The conversations that make it pass are the two conversations at Eva’s house in the morning, despite a brief mention of her dad and the almost-ever present ghost of Edoardo over Silvia, and the conversation at the free clinic with the doctor.

Thank you so much for sticking with me through this!

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[bougainvilea]

I’m becoming more and more aware that people online don’t really know what it means to be Jewish, so I’m making a helpful list!

Under the cut, I deal with the following things:

the difference between Judaism and Christianity 

the streams in Judaism and why they’re not denominations

Judaism as a culture

why Judaism is not an ethnicity (and why you can’t be half Jewish)

the word ‘goy’

historical antisemitism

Jewish rebellion

feel free to reblog, especially if you are not Jewish

To start off with, some definitions:

observant = the extent to which one considers themselves religiously Jewish as opposed to culturally/socially/historically/etc Jewish

to keep Shabbat = according to religious law, from Friday night to Saturday night you have to keep the sabbath holy, by following a bunch of rules like no starting a spark (which means no electricity or cars or anything), no picking up a pen, and a bunch of other things you can read about here. 

It does not mean christianity without the new testament. We have our own traditions, laws, and an extra book known as the Mishnah. Our traditions center around different things, our sabbath day is different, our days start in the evenings.

On this note, I’ve seen a post going around saying that Judaism is inherently different to xtianity, and it is 100% accurate. By which I mean, our laws are debatable. Even if you are 10000% observant, you could differ in tradition to someone else who is equally observant. You might be in different streams (see next dot point), or different cultural groups. This is beacause the words are interpreted differently by different Rabbis, and consensus is not wanted or needed. 

Judaism has streams. These are not similar to christian denominations. These streams are within similar communities and interact quite frequently. The difference between this and denominations is that Judaism is a culture (as I’ll get to later), which means that those who are “secular” (like me!) are not ‘just Jews not doing all the things they should be doing’ or ‘ignoring some of the laws’ - they have their own Judaism that is expressed through different practises and traditions, but they remain a community. Of course there are still people who consider themselves orthodox but only go to shul/synagogue on the High Holidays. But there are also communities of people who have interpreted Judaism’s multifaceted nature into their own unique brand of Judaism.

some examples are:

Ultra Orthodox - Usually what you see when you picture a Jewish person. Streimel (this hat so expensive), suit, study torah all day, pray very often, keeps Shabbat, etc. They are NOT NECESSARILY EUROPEAN. 

Reform - usually centered around the idea of ‘tikkun olam’ - which means repairing the earth - this stream is known in the Australian Jewish community for singing prayers to unusual tunes - my personal favourite is Adon Olam to ‘I Want It That Way’ by the Backstreet Boys (0:52 is when it gets Jewish lmaoooo). They differ from ultra-orthodox and orthodox because they “emphasize the evolving nature of the faith, the superiority of its ethical aspects to the ceremonial ones, and a belief in a continuous revelation not centered on the theophany at Mount Sinai.”

Secular Humanist - that’s me! I am atheist, but I am a part of the Jewish people and identify with the history and people within it. I feel a connection to the Jewish people’s struggles, revolutions, and liberations throughout time. I believe that Jewish people can create change and that we can use Jewish values and traditions to better the world without a focus on god. 

Judaism is a culture. This is the big one, and I feel that most people have heard this if nothing else. But let me specify; Judaism is also a religion. Judaism is associated with centurys worth of traditions and values and texts. And by texts I don’t just mean the Torah and the Mishnah - I mean every single Jewish philosopher or scholar or professor that has ever lived. Did you know that the famous 14th Century Spanish philosopher, Maimonedes, is known in the Jewish community as the Rambam (aka the Rabbi Moses ben Maimon = Rabbi Moses, son of Maimon) and wrote many a commentary on the holy books? Throughout the centuries, Judaism has gained an incredible collection of information and written arguments that have contributed to Jewish lives today. Synagogues, like churches, are great places of worship whilst also housing communities. Jewish people have stuck together throughout the years mostly out of necessity and safety and now have thriving communities of knowledge and culture! 

Judaism is NOT an ethnicity. This post started as a response to a post I saw calling someone “half Jewish, half Irish”. I tagged that you “can’t be half Jewish” and two people asked my why. This is why;

Before I continue this point, I received an anonymous message from another Jewish person saying the following; 

“we ARE an ethnicity (where do you think the curly jewish hair and aquiline nose on many jews - not all, but many - comes from?) but the reason we are considered 100% jewish if we are jewish at all is because we are a tribe and therefore if you are jewish you are considered 100% wholly part of the tribe to keep from any gatekeeping. but it is absolutely an ethnicity with an inherent religion, similar to native americans.”

this is a fair point, so maybe we are an ethnicity, but you can’t be “half Jewish” for the following reasons:

Part 1: Nuremberg Laws in Nazi Germany

Jews were outlawed from a lot of things in Nazi Germany, obviously. This started in 1933, but by 1935 the Nuremberg Laws passed. These (a) defined what it meant to be Jewish and (b) further separated them from society. 

The image below defined a fully German person (a  Deutschblütiger), a half Jew (a Mischling - “In German, the word has the general denotation of hybrid, mongrel, or half-breed.”), and a Jew (Jude). Essentially, if you were anywhere from 1/8 -1/4 Jewish, you could have Reich citizenship but still were at risk, whereas Jews (more than 1/4 Jewish) were obviously much more at risk. 

this is still today used to distinguish a Jewish person, but not in an antisemitic context. It is in fact used by Israel, so that all those who were targeted by Nazis are welcome to seek refuge and live in the intended state for the Jewish people, Israel. Anyone with 1/8 or more Jewish descent can very easily get Israeli citizenship. 

Part 2: Jewish Religious Law

according to Jewish Religious law, anyone with a Jewish mother is inherently Jewish. (also, anyone who converts - which is a 7 year process, by the way)

The reason these are relevant is because my point is that you can be ANY nationality, any ethnicity, and still be 100% Jewish. 

There are Jews of all nationalities - German Jews, Polish Jews, Ethiopian Jews, Latinx Jews, Israeli Jews, American Jews, Indian Jews, and many more! There are Jews of all ethnicities too - Asian Jews, Ashkenazi Jews, Roman Jews, Black Jews, and many many more.

You cannot be “half Jewish, half Irish” because Irish people can and are Jews. Judaism isn’t a racial or ethnic or cultural group - it is a community that transcends all these things. 

A Goy is not a derogatory term, and you shouldn’t be offended by it. Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair for any non Jew to be offended by a word that Jews call them (see the next point), but regardless, goy is a normal word that I use a lot to refer to non jews. See this post for more information. I know some Jews still don’t use it because they know it makes people uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t. (plural is goyim)

We do carry the weight of one fucked up history. There’s a classic joke told at most Jewish Holidays - “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat!”. It tends to accurately represent Jewish history. I honestly don’t know how much goyim know about Jewish history. I’m sure you have at least heard abut the Holocaust, because it was so systemic and systematic, but there are many other instances. If not, please read some online articles. Antisemitism is sometimes referred to as “the oldest hatred”, so here are some examples: (I apologise, this is mostly Europe centric)

destruction of both the first and second temple in biblical times by the Romans and the Babylonians

the spanish inquisition and the explusion from spain in the 1400s

Pogroms (especially in Europe, check out Fiddler on the Roof for an excellent representation)

an insane history of being shut off in our own communities - the first ghetto was created in Venice in 1516 and was seen as a positive thing because Jews had never had their own land before (that’s fucked up????)

blame for Jesus’ death evolved into the idea of a Blood Libel, which was the rumour that Jews liked to kidnap christian children and drink their blood or used it for ritual purposes (?????????) resulting in many christians lynching Jewish people

blame for the Black Death in Europe (because Jewish tradition cites that they have to be clean for Shabbat, so every Friday they bathed and therefore didn’t catch the plague??) 

on a non-European note, Ethiopian Jews were in such danger as recently as 1980 that Israel carried out a rescue mission which took 10,000 Ethiopian Jews through the desert of North Africa so they could live safely in Israel

We have never been quiet. Jewish revolution and rebellion has always existed. Examples are:

The literal story of Hanukkah

The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising (led by young people from the youth movement I attend to! this! day!)

on this note: Jewish people have many youth movements made specifically for political purposes, and have historically always been very well educated and passionate. I won’t talk about Zionism here, though I want to. That’s for another post. 

(note: Jewish bolshevism is antisemitic and just untrue)

refusing to convert to Christianity or any other religion the many, many times that we have been captured/the leadership in charge of us has changed (this is a big rebellious act in the spanish exile/the exile to babylon/etc)

the current head of the Jewish Agency (Natan Sharansky) was a rebel in the Soviet Union, fighting for freedom and democracy. 

We were LITERALLY so sick of antisemitism that 18-25 year olds went to Palestine and built a nation based on the idea of a socially just society (and kibbutzim)????? how it went after is another story but you understand what I mean when I say that we did not sit silently in Europe. 

So, there you have it - some Jewish facts and figures. I hope I taught you something new. If anyone has anything they’d like me to add, feel free to send me an ask! 

[allhailstephenking]

So, I borrowed this from a post (that I reblogged.) I wasn’t tagged and I won’t tag anyone else, but please! Feel free to do this too and put me in your tags so I can check it out! :)

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest? So, a few of my Stephen Kings were originally my moms, like Cycle of the Werewolf, Drawing of the Three, ‘Salem’s Lot.... And I can’t remember which others. As far as what book started out as mine and stayed mine are a few R.L.Stine books and Christopher Pike. Also, the first brand new SK book was Tommyknockers that my grandmother bought for me in Bradley’s (old school store!) when she worked there.

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next? Current reads are IT, Cujo, and the Devil in the White city. Last read was The Long Walk and House of Leaves. Next read is Wind Through the Keyhole. 

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated? I think Mr. Mercedes is awful and I completely dislike Bill Hodges. I also hated Dewy the Librabry Cat. If that book had more cat OR if it told me ahead of time that it was mostly a history book about the midwest, I would have enjoyed it. But it portrayed a book about a cat in a library and there was significantly less cat in a library than expected and I ended up very disappointed. 

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t? There are so many classics that I tell myself I;m going to read and then don’t read.

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?” Live life now, kids. don’t wait for shit. Although, I might get around to those classics by then.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end? THE END! What is wrong with you?! That’s some garbage my brother would do. A movie will be on and he looks up what happens before it had even started.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside? I enjoy reading them. I also enjoy skipping over them if they’re too long.

8. Which book character would you switch places with? Huh. Switch places with completely?..... I honestly have no idea.There are plenty of characters I’d like to join on their journey. But I’ve never considered just replacing one entirely. 

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)? IT reminds me of childhood/youth and exploring the outdoors. Rage brings me right back to high school. (no, I did not shoot my math class but I DID do a research project on school shooters and it was an experience that changed my life.) Sylvia Plath always reminds me of one of my friends.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way. The Gunslinger. I feel like I was meant for that book. I had the Drawing of the Three but I knew it was the second int he series. I searched and searched for The Gunslinger. The more I couldn’t find it the more I knew I had to have it. i had plenty of other books to read but I had to have that ONE. Finally I found it at WalMart of all places. I remember checking the book section (the very small book section) every time we went, never expecting to find it. And then one day, there it was! I had to hide it behind some other books because we didn’t have extra money that week. But the next week we went back and my mom bought it for me. and now I am the obsessive dark tower junkie that I was always meant to be.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person? Not really. I tried to give my friends books at their baby showers for their children. I guess that counts as something.

12. Which book has been with you to the most places? Hm. Probably..... The Gunslinger since I’ve read it so much.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later? I would like to try reading Moby Dick just to see if I like it better now.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book? I’ve found playing cards, book marks, and writing. I’ve found dried flowers and dead bugs. None of it is strange, always welcomed.

15. Used or brand new? Whatever you got!

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses? What an interesting question. Can’t he be both? Can’t he be something which is consumed mindlessly by some and a work of art to be savored and enjoyed by others? Why does it have to be either/or? Why, if something is good, must it only be seen by a few? Why, if something is good and loved by many, must be assumed that it is tasteless trash?

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book? Kiss the Girls. The ending of that book was AWFUL. IT WAS TERRIBLE. I hated it 20 years ago and I hate it now.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid? The Bible. Just seems...... uncomfortable. Probably any religious text that people believe to have been written by God shouldn’t be film.

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question? anything by Donna Leon! She sets her mysteries in Italy and they always eat the most delicious foods!

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take? I’ll always listen to anyone really. I love getting book recommendations! Doesn’t mean I’ll read them right away, but I stick them in a brain crevice and eventually I’ll pull it out and give it a gander.

[tipsycad147]

Pagan ritual etiquette

(or, how not to piss off a room full of Witches)

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Jun 12, 2017

Emily Post never wrote about proper behaviour at Pagan rituals. Fortunately, there's always been common sense (and the Golden Rule) to guide us.

Even so, a lot of people get nervous about attending Pagan rituals. Especially if they're not Pagan or have never been to one before.) What am I supposed to do, or not do? Are there any special rules that apply only to Pagans? Mostly, you'll find that being polite at a Pagan gathering is the same as being polite at any other public occasion.

The following eight etiquette tips aren’t rules. Pagans hate rules. Instead they are general suggestions for not making an ass of yourself at your next (or first) Pagan ritual:

1. Be on time.

It’s true what you’ve heard. Pagans, as a group, are very, very bad at starting anything on time. Pagans have coined the term “PST” (Pagan Standard Time), an imaginary time zone that all Pagans live in.

Joking aside, being late is rude. Full stop. So arrive at least a few minutes before the scheduled start time. True, you will probably end up waiting on other attendees (and maybe on the ritual’s hosts). Pagan lateness is no myth, and it has the unfortunate effect of making people show up later and later the more it’s expected. Still, that’s not a good reason to become a part of the problem.

2. Be discreet.

For many people—especially Millennials—being openly Pagan is no big deal. But some people can face serious consequences if word gets out. Pagans have lost their jobs, homes, and custody of their children. In a world without sure protection for religious minorities, it should be up to each person how and when they want to come out of the broom closet.

Attending a public ritual can be a big risk for someone who’s trying to keep their Pagan religion a secret. Be understanding if people don’t want to answer questions or give out their real names. Journalists need to identify themselves before taking photos or interviewing people.

As a guest, you should take photos only with explicit permission. Don’t tag people on social media, unless asked. Before publishing any photos, be sure there isn’t anything potentially identifying (like unique clothing or license plates) hiding in the corners.  After the ritual, be careful not to say things that might “out” other attendees to the general public.

3. Minimise distractions.

The etiquette here is the same as it would be for any public performance or gathering. Be attentive, silence your phone, don’t bring pets or small children unless you’re confident they won’t cause a disruption. (I won’t waste space talking about the importance of good hygiene and basic manners.)

4. Hands off the ritual tools.

Pagans tend to use a lot of stuff: Awesome-looking blades, cauldrons, statues of gods and goddesses, ceremonial robes, fruits and flowers. It’s enough to cause a sensory overload! Tactile folks may be tempted to fondle everything on the altar. (Oooh, shiny knife!)

But wait! Many Pagan tools are ritually consecrated and energetically keyed to their owners. It is a breach of etiquette to touch someone else’s tools without permission.

If you ask, some Pagans will be happy to let you handle their treasures. (After ritual is usually a better time than just before, when the tools are likely to be charged and primed to do their jobs.) Some won’t. Be ready to gracefully accept a "no," and don’t push it if the owner hesitates.

5. Respect sacred space.

Pagans don’t have fixed places of worship like a church or synagogue. Like a turtle with its shell, we carry our spiritual home with us everywhere we go. Pagans transform everyday places—like picnic tables and living rooms—into temples for the duration of a ritual.

Just because it looks like ordinary space, doesn’t mean it’s not also sacred. Once the space is set, respect it as you would any other house of worship. That will mean different things depending on the tradition. It always means refraining from littering, arguing, or harming people. It may also mean removing your shoes, keeping silence, or leaving food and drinks at the door. If you’re not sure what’s expected in the sacred space, check with someone who looks like they know what they’re doing.

In some Pagan rituals, respecting the sacred space means committing to the ritual for the duration. Leaving early—even if you decide the ritual’s not for you—can create a physical and energetic disruption that affects everybody there. If you think you may need to bail, talk to the organiser beforehand to make an exit plan.

The Wiccan term “casting the circle” refers to the practice of creating a boundary between the magickal and mundane worlds. The circle is a kind of container for the energy created or invoked during the ritual. (Non-Wiccans also use psychic boundaries and containers in the creation of sacred space.) A common ritual practice is "cutting a door" in the circle to allow participants to leave, while leaving the structure of the circle intact.

Breaking the circle is a no-no in solemn or energy-intense rituals. (It’s less of an issue at large or informal public rites.) If you must leave early, try to do so with minimal impact on the ritual’s flow.

6. Participate!

Pagan ritual is not a spectator sport. If you’re attending a ritual, it’s usually expected that you will participate. That may mean many different things: Singing, chanting, interacting with other people, or just sitting quietly during a meditation or blessing.

Don’t worry if you don’t know exactly what to do. Most Pagans are very welcoming toward curious observers, as long as you’re outwardly respectful and make even a small effort to join in.

Being a willing participant means being in harmony with the purpose of the ritual. It doesn’t mean that you need to do something that goes against your will. You should never feel required to touch another person, eat or drink something, speak publicly, or do anything else that makes you uncomfortable. It is unethical for a ritualist to try and pressure you into doing something after you’ve expressly declined.

Experienced ritualists will often let you know in advance what the ritual is all about. That way, you can make an informed decision to be in or out of the circle before the circle is cast. If you have physical limitations, allergies, or other concerns, this is the time to seek accommodation. The ritualist may not be able to work with every type of special need, but you can always ask. In most cases, the presenter will want to make the ritual enjoyable for as many participants as possible.

7. Don’t rewrite the ritual.

“That’s not how we do it in Amtrad.”

“I object to the gender-binary construction of the Great Rite.”

“Do you have gluten-free cakes and ale? Also, I’m allergic to incense. Also, wasn’t this thing supposed to be over ten minutes ago?”

Attending a Pagan ritual means agreeing to defer to the Priest or Priestess in charge for five minutes to an hour. Doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. Doesn’t even mean you have to respect them. But unless you’re witnessing something very dangerous or illegal, keep your critiques and corrections to yourself.

The person performing the ritual is probably not there to recruit followers or impress people. He or she is almost certainly not being paid. The Pagan ritualist is probably performing the ritual out of love, to give a gift to the best of their ability.

With these things in mind, I recommend approaching a Pagan ritual with an attitude somewhere between the ones you’d bring to a college professor’s lecture and a kid’s dance recital: Be respectful, because a lifetime’s collection of knowledge is on display. (Yes, along with a lifetime’s collection of opinions, biases, and foibles.) Be generous and prepared to applaud for even a mediocre performance.

Paganism has a permissive, inclusive culture that values individualism and dissent. The result is that there is a know-it-all, backseat-driving heckler at every other public ritual. Don’t be that guy (or gal). Offer those “helpful” suggestions afterwards, and only if you feel they’d truly be welcomed.

8. Watch your energy.

When I first started bringing my non-Pagan wife, Sarah, to Pagan rituals, she was worried. She thought that everyone could read her mind. She was very careful not to think skeptical thoughts (or anything that could be offensive) around our Pagan friends. She would enter the ritual circle broadcasting mental apologies to anyone who might happen to overhear her thoughts.

Obviously, this is ritual courtesy taken to an extreme degree. Sarah was overestimating the degree of psychic sensitivity within the Pagan community. I don’t doubt that high-level telepaths walk among us—but they must have very thick skins by now.

No, the real concern is that bad vibes are contagious to everyone, not just to super-psychics. If you walk into a ritual feeling angry, anxious, hostile, or ill, it’s bound to have a negative effect on the total atmosphere within the circle. People come to ritual for a chance to let their shields down and soak up energy within a sacred space. It’s just not fair to walk in there and wallop them with your crap.

Many Pagan rituals begin with grounding and cleansing activities: Smudging or anointing participants, a few deep breaths, a centring meditation. Wiccans may enter the circle stating that they come “in perfect love and perfect trust.” All are ways of reminding the attendees to check their energy before entering ritual space.

Everybody feels bad sometimes, and that doesn’t mean you have to quarantine yourself. One of the purposes of spirituality is to comfort the sad and heal the wounded. You don’t need to be a person who walks around spreading flowers and rainbows everywhere. It’s more about being a conscious custodian of your energy when you know you’ll be sharing it with others.

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/pagan-ritual-etiquette-or-how-to-not-piss-off-a-room-full-of-witches