#anyway back to capeshit

[mintybagels]

they infest my every waking thought

[ya-gurl-emily]

its been 3 months and cinemas here are still showing deadpool and wolverine, this is why cinemas are dying

[lexcellence]

What is it about Western comics as a medium that enables them to tell specific stories--or be types of art--that other media can't replicate? It feels like it'd be so easy to translate a comic to a film, but we've also seen how outrageously difficult it really is. What, to you, makes comics so worth it all?

This is gonna be long and hella cynical, and I'm going to specifically focus on the big two (Marvel and DC) here, but I think a big part of it comes down to money, and the fact that comics are largely considered to be disposable media by the companies creating them.

See, there isn't a ton invested into the actual creation of comics. Creators are freelancers, so no need to worry about pesky things like "paying a reasonable wage," or "offering health insurance" — every few months or so you'll see people who shaped and revolutionized the medium setting up gofundme's because they never got a safety net, and they aren't taken care of by the companies they put all that work into. IP rights and royalties largely aren't a thing, and the nature of capeshit is that you're always going to find some fan who is honored to have the opportunity to write for them, even as the creators they grew up reading are torn up and spit back out. Couple that with an inherently built in marketbase of nerds, and, more often than not, not "wasting" money advertising actual comics to anyone who doesn't buy them already, and to a large extent it doesn't really matter what risks a comic takes. Warner and Disney don't really have to give a shit —a "bad" superman comic, by any definition of bad, might piss off a few nerds, but isn't gonna do a damn thing to the cultural perception of Superman™️, the Brand™️, available on everything from t-shirts to truck nutz at your local Walmart. And hell, 99 times out of 100 the nerds will keep buying the book anyway, and who cares if they don't, because the comic shops will.

Movies, on the other hand, are a pretty significant investment! You've got actors, hundreds of people in cast and crew, and *actual marketing.* They've gotta make that money back and then some, while appealing to an audience of people who might own a Batman wallet, but couldn't tell you the difference between Joe Chill and Victor Fries. It's harder to take risks with movies, because suddenly you might actually taint the image of a seventy year old brand, and that terrifies all of the investors. You throw too much Comic Book Bullshit™️ at general audiences who haven't already devoted their personalities to caring about who Batman is fucking that week (Hal Jordan), and it gets messy. This isn't even some "general audiences wouldn't understand*" gatekeepy shit, either - if you pick up literally any random comic issue and you don't like it, worst case scenario you've spent like four bucks and fifteen minutes of your life, and you've got anything from dozens to thousands of other issues to try.

*that being said, I still maintain that Batman & Robin is better than any Batman comic that came out that year, and everyone who says otherwise is a fucking coward.

And so, comics end up in a weird, probably ultimately untenable position of being able to take more risks, and being made largely by people who love comics, and grew up speaking their bullshit language. They're self-obsessed and masturbatory, sure, but the thing about saying that derogatorily is that it ignores the fact that masturbation is fun? The worst comics I've read, and I've read a lot of bad comics, are still almost always labors of love, be that for better or for worse. As exhausted as I get sometimes, it's hard for me to write that off entirely.

And, ultimately, I'm just way too invested in who's fucking Batman (Superman).

[morose-magnetrix]

I found this in my WIP doc earlier today - I’m not sure if I’ll ever finish it tbh.

Working Title: X-Factor Resurrection

Characters: Lorna & Wanda

Summary: A short little moment of sisterly bonding at the second Hellfire Gala

Lorna felt the chill hit her mouth before the drink’s sickly sweet taste cut through. She wrinkled her nose, before taking another sip of the drink, just to confirm. The jewels she was suspending in air just below her ears shook out of alignment for a moment.

“There’s no fucking alcohol in this shit,” Lorna grumbled. “I can’t believe they’re cutting me off.”

She let herself privately imagine what she would do to the Madrox who had served her the drink when she found them, and then Lorna sighed and let it go. She’d long since lost count of the number of drinks she’d had at the gala anyways. Maybe a little breather would be good for her.

Wanda was doing her best to hide an ever so subtle smirk. She was pretending to be fully focused on Lila Cheney’s set, humming bits of the tune as she had no idea what the words were. Lorna didn’t think Wanda had ever even listened to a Lila Cheney song - Wanda didn’t have a single song on her Spotify Wrapped that had been made after 1972. Lorna had made Wanda a lengthy playlist back in January, and despite Wanda swearing that she had given it a try, Lorna was unconvinced Wanda had ever even clicked play.

Maybe the ten hour runtime had scared her adopted sister off.

“Wanda… Did you turn my drink into soda?” Lorna asked, an edge to her voice.

“What? Me? I would never,” Wanda said, the smirk only growing slightly as she tried to proclaim innocence. “It’s rude of you to accuse me like that.”

Lorna furrowed her brow. “You totally did,” she pouted.

God, when are people going to stop treating me like a fucking kid? First Jean, now Wanda…

It had been a year since Jean had manipulated Lorna’s don’t pick me plea and gotten her elected to the X-Men. Jean always did what she thought was best, no matter what other people had to feel about it. And to make things worse, Jean had been fucking right - Lorna had loved just about every minute on this X-Men team, probably the first time in her life that she had actually wanted to be a part of the capeshit craziness.

Wanda shrugged, turning to face her sister. “I guess we will never know,” she teased slightly. “So, my dear sister… What’s next for Lorna Dane, PhD?” she asked earnestly.

Her hair was cascading all around her, at one point turning into a galaxy of magical stars. Wanda was positively glowing, no longer the Pretender, the mutant boogeyman - but finally the Redeemer, a great friend of Krakoa. Lorna knew that Wanda’s plans were for the future, now that she had finally hit her stride - she had talked about helping those in need, beyond just her calling with the Avengers. Wanda had even rattled off shop name ideas to Lorna late one night, when they were in couture PJs and eating ice cream out of the container as Legally Blonde played in the background.

“To be honest, Dr. Dane… has no fucking idea,” Lorna admitted.

A little bit of tension left her body as she admitted that. It felt good.

“Whatever it is, you’re going to do great,” Wanda promised. “You’ll figure it out - I know you will. Call it a witch’s intuition.”

One Year Later…

[phantom-scrybe]

side note irrelevant to anything else, the fact that the joker, a deeply masturbatory effort at making a ��serious” comic book Film with Something To Say, was surpassed by ketchup and mustard doing knifeplay in a sponsorship ad is very special to me

but back to serious discourse (gay capeshit), The Gay Cartoon Era rotted people’s brains bc it was such a strict recoil against the 90s’ attitude of “hide it as best we can, if it’s even there to begin with,” so now babyqueers can’t stand anything that isn’t She-Ra staring at the camera and going “I’m a lesbian.”

anyway deadclaws canon.

pretending Deadpool and Wolverine aren’t textually a couple by the end of the movie is insane. just because it’s not explicitly stated and they don’t kiss doesn’t mean we have to play dumb.

“oh but it was all played for jokes” shut the fuck up and apply two grams of your brain. the Honda odyssey scene aside, Deadpool has been obsessed with Wolverine for over a decade now. he finally meets him and he’s a colossal fucking loser. but he’s all Wade has left to save his family. and Wade is the only person left who believes in Logan. they’re reliant on each other. they save the universe by holding hands.

and then there’s the Honda Odyssey scene.

sometimes films do this thing where they employ Visual Metaphors to convey ideas that are not explicitly stated. the Honda Odyssey scene is four minutes of two costumed men repeatedly stabbing each other in a car until they’re covered in one another’s internal fluids and so exhausted they fall asleep.

like come on.

that’s not subtext that’s just text.

don’t be stupid.

“it’s queerbaiting if they don’t explicitly say it” my dear idiot the lego batman movie is right there.

[jademight]

Honestly I think half the reason people are so angry at She-Hulk is because they’ve formed this parasocial relationship with the MCU itself and HATE when they have to watch something that’s not for them lest they miss the first mention of Stilt-Man before his grand debut in Secret Wars

[geek-gem]

Since I’ve had some time for people to see my last few reblogs. Last night since playing Injustice 2...I had this idea. But I went to bed early by mistake. But it was a good sleep anyway...

The idea was what if the Powerpuff Girls were in Injustice 2 as guest characters? Similar in vain of how the TMNT were...but it’s my reimagining of the PPG as I’ve rambled about them before.

Honestly, I feel like I shouldn’t touch capeshit stuff maybe. And that I have wondered of including Archie in Injustice 2. But I feel it wouldn’t mess well. Yet...the Powerpuff Girls...but my versions of them...as guest characters in the Injustice universe? This gives me an excuse to write some dialogue. 

I’ve thought about this and funny stuff like, “Buttercup is a Zack Snyder fan!” and whatever else...time to write this shit. Some of it...seems heartbreaking, mainly I feel with Buttercup or just...I thought more for her. And the heartbreaking idea of Buttercup not only liking characters like Spawn and Batman. But actually secretly admiring the character of Superman. Since the DC universe is likely a fictional piece of media in her world. And the world of Injustice is pretty much a fucked up place.

I will mention DC did some Powerpuff Girls comics for the original show. And even some Cartoon Network crossovers...so...this is almost fitting ha!

So this took a bit, like maybe an hour or nearly two. I forgot. I feel like some of these could be better. I didn’t do much of Bubbles. But I feel like with your pieces of dialogue and especially the final one. It’s like a perfect final burn to me personally.

Buttercup: You were one of my heroes growing up.

Superman: Now I bring justice.

Buttercup: Was killing Billy Baston justice?

-

Buttercup: I’m fine that you killed Joker. But you went too far after that.

Superman: The world’s changed since Metropolis.

Buttercup: That doesn’t give you an excuse to become what you are.

-

Buttercup: I try to keep myself from becoming someone like you.

Superman: Why’s that?

Buttercup: Losing control.

-

Buttercup: Killing Aquaman isn’t gonna bring your dad back.

Black Manta: Want me to tell you that if I murder Utonium and Bellum?

Buttercup:...I’m gonna give you brain damage to make sure you don’t remember anything.

-

Blossom: You’re the reason why Superman became what he is?

Wonder Woman: You know nothing child.

Blossom: Who’s the one that warped his mind after what Joker did to him?

-

Blossom: I actually looked up to you as a kid.

Wonder Woman: What happened then?

Blossom: You betrayed what you stood for.

-

Bubbles: So me and my sisters are probably Titans material?

Starfire: After this audition, wanna get pizza and talk about it.

Bubbles: Oh yes please.

-

Bubbles: So Beastboy could’ve become any animal?

Starfire: Any, why are you asking?

Bubbles: Even a puppy?

-

Blossom: Are you sure you’re not a different version of Mojo Jojo?

Grodd: Who is this Mojo you speak of?

Blossom: Just another super smart evil ape. But he’s smaller than you.

-

Buttercup: So I hear you have some anger issues too.

Raphael: That’s cus I fight angry.

Buttercup: Ah, I can relate honestly.

-

Raphael: Anger management isn’t my strong suit.

Buttercup: I’m the same. Nearly killed a guy who took hostages at school.

Raphael:...well that’s something.

-

Blossom: Do you know of a guy named HIM?

Hellboy: Why you asking?

Blossom: He looks like he came out of Hell like you.

-

Blossom: Did Brainiac collect you too?

Leonardo: Yep. You too.

Blossom: Seems like he’s collecting everybody.

-

Hellboy: I’m not gonna cut you slack if we fight.

Buttercup: I just wanna prove myself.

Hellboy: I think you’ve proven yourself already.

-

Hellboy: You got the devil inside you kid.

Buttercup: I try to control. Thank God for the professor.

Hellboy: Utonium sounds like a swell dad honestly.

-

Blossom: So you’re the brains out of your brothers?

Donatello: Yep, pretty much.

Blossom: At least you’re not the leader. That would be exhausting.

-

Buttercup: So you like fighting games?

Michelangelo: Yeah, wanna play some after this?

Buttercup: Yes! Yes I would!

-

Bubbles: So you like pizza as well?

Michelangelo: Wanna get some after I beat you?

Bubbles: Oh don’t worry Mikey. I think you’ll be paying for it after this.

-

Blossom: Why do I feel like you’re a mix of Sedusa and HIM.

Enchantress: Me and HIM have met before.

Blossom: Oh God, that’s worse to even know.

-

Blossom: I’ve dealt with a woman like you before?

Poison Ivy: I’d like to meet this woman.

Blossom: I’d hate it if you and Sedusa met.

-

Bubbles: What is your problem?

Robin: Let’s this straight, I’m better than you and your sisters combined.

Bubbles: And I thought Morbucks was egotistical.

-

Bubbles: I really don’t want to hurt you.

Black Manta: You’re nothing but a weak, and altruistic young girl.

Bubbles: You really don’t know who you’re fighting, do you?

-

Scarecrow: You know your entire family hates you.

Buttercup: No. They don’t.

Scarecrow: Awww, I touched a nerve there, didn’t I?

-

Buttercup: You know nothing about my family.

Scarecrow: I know you’re scared of becoming like Superman.

Buttercup: You’re really getting on my nerves Scarecrow.

-

Scarecrow: Everyone has something to lose.

Bubbles: What makes you say that?

Scarecrow: What happens to the Powerpuff Girls if their mommy and daddy are gone?

-

Scarecrow: You hate it when your sisters fight, don’t you?

Bubbles: Yeah...it hurts.

Scarecrow: What if they both killed each other?

-

Blossom: Your fear schtick doesn’t work on me.

Scarecrow: How about taking Utonium away from you girls?

Blossom: Don’t you dare touch him.

-

Blossom: Wanna race me and my sisters?

Flash: You sure I won’t be too fast for you three?

Blossom: Oh trust me. You should see us when we play tag.

-

Blossom: Me and my sisters are here to help the Insurgency.

Batman: Then prove it to me.

Blossom: Have you’ve seen how we fight?

-

Sub Zero: Do not ruled by your passions.

Buttercup: So I don’t end up like Scorpion?

Sub Zero: Exactly.

-

Bubbles: Don’t you dare justify what you’ve done.

Aquaman: What I do, I do for Atlantis.

Bubbles: Don’t make me become friends with the Trench Queen.

-

Blossom: What keeps you going even after everything?

Supergirl: Hope. That’s what it is.

Blossom: Finally, a hero who hasn’t gone insane.

-

Bubbles: You’re no hero, not anymore.

Wonder Woman: You don’t know how complex the world is.

Bubbles: Ms. Keane and Ms. Bellum are real heroes than you’ll ever be anymore. 

[amostexcellentblog]

Anyway I think that’s all my thoughts for now. I might do some more later. For all my complaints, it really is a great (dare I say... Fun) movie. The 4 hours just flew by, I was all prepared to leave it on in the background and focus on something else when I got bored, but I never actually did.

It reminded me how much I liked being a Superman fan. Connecting with the character, seeking out comics and shows of his to explore, just being in a fandom, before all the hate ruined it for me. A part of wants to go back even though I know it’s impossible. Anytime I even see a photo from anything capeshit related I remember how worn down I felt by all the negativity. I haven’t fully engaged with any fandom since because I'm afraid I’ll go through it again.

I would still totally watch a Superman solo project with Henry and Amy building off the characterization from Zack’s movies though. I was honestly unsure before the movie came out if I could handle getting back into that world even a tiny amount. But seeing them again made me realize that I would 100% do it for them and them alone.

[davidmann95]

Thoughts on this week's comics?

Once & Future #1: On the final day of my local comic book store’s operation (don’t worry, I’ve I think found a new place close to where I work) they finally got the sixth and last printing of this baby, and what an odd comic. I absolutely dig it, but just in terms of pacing and the rhythms of the dialogue, this feels much more to me like a Morrison joint than Gillen? Maybe it’s just because I associate Dan Mora with Klaus. Anyway, I’m late to the party on this one but yeah, it’s good.

No One Left To Fight #4: It hasn’t been as good as the first issue got me to hope, and I don’t think it’s going to change that with apparently just one issue left, but this is still solid and definitely worth a look once it drops in trade for DBZ fans.

DIE #8: Gillen’s always been a guy who works best for me on reread, but between this and Peter Cannon he’s working overtime lately to jump a few notches even further upward in my estimation. And I cannot believe a monthly comic, even one with breaks built in, can look this gorgeous.

Marvel Comics #1001: God what a shitshow! I repeatedly referred to Marvel Comics #1000 as nothing short of a minor miracle, and I’ll stand by that. But while that was an exceptional if by no means perfect realization of its intent as a celebration of Marvel’s history, this is a truly shameless dumping ground, with only two teasing story-lite bookending Ewing pages to lure in chumps like me. I think there’s something like 3-4 notably at least *okay* other stories in here, with everything else ranging from empty calories to bizarre to total crap. Worst I’ve spent about dropping my money on a book in some time.

Fantastic Four #15: I’ll admit to being a little perplexed about the strength of the negative reaction to the title right now. I’d be the first to admit it’s a complete embarrassment in the context of being the Richards families’ grand return, but it’s perfectly fine superhero comics, even if I’ll likely drop it after this arc.

Absolute Carnage: Immortal Hulk #1: The gold standard of event tie-ins - it fits well with the event, with the main book (even if Ewing’s assured nothing plotwise here is going to feed back into the main title...though honestly, I’m a touch skeptical depending on how Absolute Carnage proper goes, I could see something in here playing out in Immortal while requiring fairly minimal explanation), and it hits us with an extra little dose of seeing how the current status quo plays with Marvel at large since it’s typically in isolation without diluting the flavor of either side. A+.

Bizarre Adventures #1: Actually really good but it should be a federal crime that the initial solicit promised a Chris Onstad story and this didn’t deliver, without even at least some sort of formal apology.

Daredevil #12: Oh, Willie. WhatEVER are we going to do with you?

House of X #6: Okay, I’ve tried to avoid blanket “anyone who doesn’t like these books just doesn’t GET IT, MAN” statements, but I haven’t been subtle in finding a lot of the criticisms of how the X-Men are changing up how they operate/express themselves as a minority metaphor...charged. I’ve already had reason recently to think I was being too broad even with that though, but with this issue? The idea that Professor X was psychically manipulating people into going along with this seemed like a dumb, boring as shit way of reckoning with the new status quo, but maybe that merits a rethink, because holy shit. Anyway this is still fire and I can’t believe I give a fuck about the X-Men now, one issue left until this run properly starts. Jesus.

The Immortal Hulk #24: I’ll admit I’ve been finding the conclusion of the General Fortean story merely excellent rather than mind-blowingly transcendent recently, and while I wasn’t disappointed I was ready for things to properly kick back into high gear. THAT IS CERTAINLY NOT A PROBLEM ANYMORE, TRUE BELIEVERS.

Batman #80: I’m still down for it, both this bit in isolation as the triumphant comeback lead in to the finale, and the run as a whole. And while I think he’s been doing his best work in a VERY long time recently and I’m glad to see he’ll be joining Tynion, I’m glad Daniel is taking a backseat to Mann, Romita Jr., and soon Janin for concluding City of Bane, given it’s now also the ending of King’s time on Batman proper even if he’s still finishing his story elsewhere.

Lois Lane #4: It’s extremely weird that this is a Renee Montoya book co-starring Lois Lane but if Greg Rucka wants to write a Gotham Central/52 followup I’m not gonna...question it.

Legion of Super-Heroes: Millennium #2: DANG! Taken as a whole with the first issue given it clearly should have been a big one-shot, this is easily the best thing Bendis has done since the DC jump outside the Superman books, and I’m properly pumped for Legion now. Jeff Dekal and Ryan Sook in particular take my breath away once apiece in here.

The Green Lantern #12: With the season finale on the stands, I’d say it’s now more than fair to call Green Lantern Morrison’s weakest superhero output of the 21st century. Which doesn’t mean it’s not a hoot, it’s still Morrison, but again, I’ve yet to see anything at all that convinces me Morrison isn’t doing this on autopilot in-between his TV commitments. Admittedly Morrison on autopilot has its own unique charms, just spraying odd archetypal superhero concepts and sci-fi jargon at you to fill up space; this feels like one of his ad-hoc superhero teams such as the Status Quorum or the Cometeers or one of the throwaway Multiversity Earth ideas slouching to a sort of independent pseudo-life and throwing off neat ideas like an isotope bursting radiation, not fully-formed but perhaps in its own way all the more beautifully off-kilter and primally iconic in the process. Not enough to make up for the absence of him actually trying, you understand, but certainly unique and still an experience I enjoy every month. Please god though, don’t let this and Wonder Woman: Earth One Vol. 3 whenever that happens be his last major superhero works. One last Justice League story, Arkham Asylum 2 like he said, Superman Squad, something.

Doom Patrol: Weight of the Worlds #4: Venom exists in the DCU and it’s an evil speedo, this is objectively a perfect comic book. I liked the original Way run a lot even if I could never remember what was going on, but I’m stunned with every issue what a level-up this second volume has been, at least for my money.

Justice League #33: I think the book’s sagging a bit at the moment, since Justice/Doom War is clearly a feint for whatever the real finale is going to be in 2020 and I don’t think Snyder/Tynion work quite as well as an apparently full-on writing team as they do when simply trading off issues and letting their individual strengths shine. Still the best straight-take capeshit on the stands though, make no mistake.

Young Justice #9: If Namoi was the return of the Bendis who tried writing sincere stuff near the end of his time at Marvel but was too burned out at that point to make it work anymore, this is the Avengers guy who’s freewheeling and kinda screwing around where he should be getting to brass tacks but still has his moments. I might end up dropping this book, but it’s still at least got me through the end of this arc.

DCeased #5: This book’s been disappointing me more than a bit the last couple issues given how good it SHOULD be with how much it plays into Tom Taylor’s greatest strengths. The ending on this one, however? Is one I’m going to remember forever, and Trevor Hairsine sells the absolute hell out of it. Propelled to my favorite of the week just on the back of that.