#anyway. very complicated feelings and topics
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago
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i do wonder sometimes! i think having so many desi friends here also reminds me of it too because like. idk it feels similar, some people grew up in the mother country, and then sometimes people talk about how they grew up in places where there is an abundance of street food, which is something my dad talked about getting when he was a kid... but like. i can't really fathom what cambodia would be like now without the khmer rouge. like. there's so much history we wouldn't have lost? so much music and so many movies and like all of this art and history and all these statues that were destroyed? it kind of just makes me feel angry when i think about it now lmao because as much as i wish i could be wistful and imagine what it might have been like. i don't even KNOW. and we can't know because of how many records and films and documents were burned to ash by the cpk. that shit was stolen from us and it wasn't from europe or the wider civilized west, but our own people who decided that they were better than everyone else, and now we are a third world country that is basically just a tourist attraction 👍👍👍 it kind of sucks a lot haha. there's a lot my parents lost too since they were really young when they left, so it's just like, even if they met they wouldn't be the same, so i don't know if i would actually be able to go up against the beauty standards and stuff the way i do now. and also i don't even know if i would have met you guys which would be a whole different kind of sucky tbh!!!! net loss!!! even as much as i wish i knew all those languages from a young age i don't know if it would be a good trade. even if i got to grow up with chickens :/
No yeah that makes a lot of sense! It's like...you want certain aspects of both, the now and the what could have been, but some of the way things and who you are now as a person are are only possible because you lost the what could have been. And trying to reconcile the two and imagine what you lost is still present is near impossible, because they fundamentally cannot exist together. But you still want them to? If all that makes sense
And being around people does remind you of it, because you each have different experiences, different pieces of the overall community/identity, and you can see pieces you wish you had but if you did have them. You wouldn't be you. Yeah I wish I grew up with more mexican foods at home and was taught them instead of learning on my own, but that wouldn't be me, because the me I am has learned the language from scratch on my own and found resources and recipes on my own and etc. so like...to want those pieces and the different options is like wanting to be a different person, and do I want to be a different person? very complicated feelings
Then at the end of the day it's like should I even bother thinking about it when there's literally nothing to be done about it, history and my connection to everything is already in place. I can't change what languages and food I grew up with, where I was born and raised, etc.
Because it's a very emotional topic! There's anger, like you mention, but also so much grief and loss...it's quiet overwhelming. And of course the specific histories for each of us is very different, so I in no way mean to speak for or over your own experiences. This is just what you reminded me of based on what you said and my own reflections. I try not to think about it too often because when I do...oh boy is that a nasty hurt on so many levels
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thewardenisonthecase · 7 months ago
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btw tw for talking about abuse
I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)
And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.
It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.
Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.
But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.
It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.
She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.
All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.
#its complicated ok#i've just been thinking a lot about this#bc of my relationship with my mom#and coming to terms that i may be experiencing verbal abuse from her#and the very complex feelings i have in regards to her#so i kinda understand where lucanis comes from?#and why its not adressed in game#this is something lucanis has already come to terms with#there's not a lot you can do about it#maybe after caterina died he would think about it#but its not something that can just be 'solved'#in fact i think if caterina straight up died it would be worst#at least with her alive he could have some time to like fucking properly deal with these feelings#idk i'm not defending caterina#i'm just saying its complicated#idk i just see some posts about 'making lucanis realize all the shit caterina did and go kill her'#and i'm like idk if that would do anything for him#btw don't come for me this is a complicated topic and i did my best to express myself in the wretched language that is english#and when i talk about the cultural part#its bc more than once here you'll have people “brush off” that their parents did those things to them#bc its like...'its been so long and its made into the person i am today and there's not much point in dwelling on it'#it may not be the healthiest thing ever#but sometimes its what you have#sometimes you can't think about it too much if you just want to get on with your day#sometimes its does it even fucking matter its so in the past now#anyways#tw talk of abuse#again DON'T COME FOR ME#lucanis dellamorte
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sol-dial · 15 days ago
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Some people just...change your life. Doesn’t have to be in a romantic sense. But friendship, platonic, beyond. The person you instantly connect with, you learn about each other and are somehow the same soul. You become so close, not without the positives and negatives of course, that it’s dizzying how deep the connection goes once you reflect on it. How. How did you bare open your heart, have it be stared at, judged, and yet, accepted? To be able to be your true self, that you hid even from yourself, and learned to love yourself? To be seen and to be loved? To have your little quirks, your passion, be mirrored in whole?
How do you bare your heart open like that again? To another? With the uncertainty that this other person won’t be as accepting, as understanding? Maybe overthinking is the secret killer, but it also stems from some kind of logic, doesn’t it? Sometimes. But it’s irrational as well. Perhaps, be content with the idea that if it happens, it happens. Some things are meant to be, meant to happen. Just be comfortable with the fact that things just happen, and live life. The people who are worth it will make themselves known.
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musical-chick-13 · 1 month ago
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I just am kind of :/ about the idea that "a poor depiction of [x serious topic] can NEVER be harmful, and NOTHING is inherently better or worse than anything else because ALL art is an EQUAL value of neutral." Because like. Y'all (rightfully) get up in arms about Bury Your Gays. Because that particular story patterns reflects a wider societal issue of queer people being seen as Less Important™ or More Disposable. Obviously you can grasp that sometimes things Come Across Really Badly and it's okay to complain about that.
No, killing off a gay character in a show in a hamfisted and narratively-stupid way isn't the same thing as an actual irl hate crime, that's. Ridiculous. But if, say, a woman hates the way women are portrayed through a shallow, misogynistic lens; or black people hate the way black characters are treated in 90% of mainstream stories; or trans people are tired of seeing so many examples of trans characters being A Punchline; or disabled people see yet another depiction of disabled life as An Unending Torturous Death Sentence That Will Rob Them Of The Ability To Be Happy Forever; or people are tired of graphic violence against marginalized characters that doesn't add anything to the story...they're not Doing Purity Culture for criticizing that? Like. They're allowed to be. Uncomfortable. About that.
#the thing is. looking at how things are portrayed in mainstream fiction can give us a good idea of how society in general feels about#(or POSITIONS itself as feeling about) various topics/issues/types of people.#if people go 'hey this reflects a Negative Societal Trend I would like that to change' then. I feel like that's more than fair???#sometimes works of fiction DO present things like white supremacy or the subjugation of women or eugenics or mistreating#your partner or seeing your children as objects as Good™ things.#granted. people run with this WAAAAAAY too far and refuse to look at things in context. and a lot of 'how this concept is presented'#is VERY subjective. and as always it's possible for something to excel in its handling of one social issue while completely failing in#regard to another. and sometimes something is well-meaning enough that you can make peace with it. but like. please tell me that#you understand the merit of criticizing things that openly espouse and celebrate harmful ideology. because you CAN actually do that in art.#and I'm not like. idk. saying Do Vigilante Justice Over People Who Create Said Art or something. I just want some fucking nuance here.#you ARE allowed to criticize something for depicting a topic poorly. you ARE allowed to evaluate something to decide whether it#fits the 'poorly-depicted' label or not. I promise you can embrace the existence of art that makes you uncomfortable AND criticize shit#we're in this weird place where people need to be Less Critical™/more open-minded AND need to be more willing to point out the#flaws in various works. it's. very strange.#anyway. fiction does not equal reality. but that doesn't mean all fiction is free of flaws or negative complications.
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autumnoakes · 1 month ago
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idk like i've taken a handful of sociology courses as a part of my minor and i feel like every time queer issues could be brought up it's very lightly touched on or skipped over and i just. it feels very blatant when it's ignored or things aren't considered from a queer perspective
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isa-renee · 1 year ago
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okay but why is it literally easier to explain my thesis topic to non-linguists??
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shina913 · 6 months ago
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A Very Patient Man | LJH
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Pairing: Lee Jihoon x AFAB!Reader
Rating: M 🔞; NSFW
Genre: F2L; FWB; smut; pwp
Warnings: cussing; breast play; fingering; cunnilingus; unprotected sex; PIV sex; riding; ass smacking; dirty talk; creampie
Word count: 4.6k words
Summary: You’re frustrated because it takes you longer to reach an orgasm during sex. This has made you feel insecure, and you started to accept the fact you’d never meet someone patient enough to give you the attention you need. Your friend, Jihoon, casually offers a solution.
A/N: Idk. I slipped and fell onto my keyboard and all this horny word vomit spilled out. Thanks to @roaminginthenights for always enabling me in the DMs 🤣
This is also un-beta'd so...it is what it is.
Anyway! Here’s something filthy to end the year! 💜
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It started innocently enough at Jihoon’s studio. You were sitting on his couch, venting about your dating life, and as always, he listened attentively just as you do when he shares his own experiences.
However, today’s visit was different. He’s letting you ramble on about a very specific topic.
“I feel like there’s an invisible time limit on foreplay.”
Jihoon’s chair creaks as he leans back, laughing at your incredulous claim. “No, there isn’t!”
“But I really think there is!” you argue. “My last date got visibly impatient, even though I...” you inhale through your teeth, “clearly asked him for more time down there. Instead, he just said, ‘It’s been five minutes, it’s my turn now.’” You huff in annoyance.
“Well, that sucks. Did you get rid of him?”
You grimace before replying. “Please don’t judge me. He was cute, so we still fucked. My vibrator finished the job,” you admit guiltily. “I blocked him on the app afterward though.”
He sighs, shaking his head in mild disappointment. “You shouldn’t compromise on your needs. If you want more time, say so and stick with it.”
You huffed wistfully. “I just take too long. I get all panicky when someone’s been down there for longer than 5 minutes.”
“You can’t rush pleasure,” he comments.
“I know that, but now, it makes me think—how long is too long before you come? Is there a play clock winding down on the field? Do I need to call out an audible?”
He doubles over again, laughing when you start using sports metaphors.
“How can some women summon an orgasm—” you snap your fingers, “just like that?”
His laughs subside, turning more serious now. “Don’t do that. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Everybody’s different.”
“Yes, thank you for reminding me,” you remark sarcastically.
He turns away to face his screen, adding more edits to a track he’s working on.
“I don’t know…” you mumble, shrugging in defeat. “I guess my vibrator and I are destined to spend the rest of our lives together. Might as well reserve matching burial plots.”
Jihoon snorts. “You just haven’t found the right partner. A really patient one, I might add,” he says, half-joking.
You smack him on his bicep, and your hand stings from the unexpected firmness under his oversized shirt. Has his arm always been this solid? When was the last time you touched his bicep? Wait—why are you even thinking of his bicep?
You and Jihoon have been close friends since college, maintaining a purely platonic relationship—never a hint of romance or sexual tension between you. On rare nights out, you even act as each other’s wingman, helping one another find potential dates. You two simply click on a different level—easy and no complications.
He looked up from his mixing board, turning to you with a slight smirk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I happen to be very patient.”
The lilt in his voice was unmistakable. It was the kind of tone he used when chatting up potential conquests on your nights out.
You let out a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t you dare use that Joey Tribbiani move on me.”
“It’s not a move.” He keeps his face serious, looking genuinely hurt by your comment. “You’re my friend. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says softly. “I’m just saying, if you ever wanted to try, I’m game.” He tilts his head, giving a casual shrug. “No judgment.”
You stare at him, stunned, as his offer hangs in the air. You try to laugh it off, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.
Was he seriously proposing that you two—nope! You refuse to go there. Jihoon is a great friend, and although you trust him, you’re not sure you’d be comfortable with the idea of...
You shake your head. You can’t even finish the thought. You glance at your watch for no reason at all.
“You know, I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Oh? I thought you wanted to grab dinner?” He’s surprised and confused at your sudden change of plans.
“It’s getting late.”
Truthfully, it wasn’t that late. You feel guilty lying to your friend, but you need to escape this conversation—and this situation—as quickly as possible.
“I just got a notification from work. I need to come in early, yada-yada…You know how it is.”
He looks disappointed but doesn’t push. You gather your things, slipping your puffer jacket on, despite the room feeling several degrees warmer.
“Alright. If you’re sure—”
“Yeah,” you cut him off. That came out more tersely than you initially intended. “I’m sure,” you add with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes to try and make up for it.
He rises from his seat when you do and moves in for a hug—just like he usually does. But this time, the hug feels different; you’re suddenly hyperaware of his touch, your skin tingling all over. You return his hug stiffly, without your usual warmth, then hurry out of his studio and immediately tear off your too-hot jacket.
That night, your dreams were filled with visions—his hands tracing paths across your skin, his dark head dipping between your thighs, his intense gaze meeting yours as you hovered on the edge of unbridled pleasure. The dream felt so vivid you could have sworn you felt the warmth of his breath against your skin. It wasn’t until your alarm began blaring, leaving you trembling and drenched in sweat, that reality came crashing back.
********************************************
A couple of days passed, and you couldn’t stop thinking about Jihoon. This wasn’t your usual “hope he remembered to eat lunch” thoughts or impulse to send him funny memes that popped up on your algorithm.
After your NSFW dream about him, you started noticing little things about him you’d never paid attention to before—the adorable way he’d scrunch up his nose while concentrating on work, how his muscles moved when he reached for something, or how the warm red studio lights perfectly highlighted his features.
You shake your head. It’s not that deep. Jihoon’s suggestion was only practical. There’s no reason to go down this rabbit hole.
Still, you can’t deny the growing curiosity gnawing at the back of your mind. You hadn’t expected his offer to affect you this way, but it does.
After days of avoiding him, you decide to invite him to dinner at your place. Maybe if you discussed this with him, the dreams and inappropriate thoughts would stop.
The moment he walks through your door, everything falls apart. You become hyper-aware of his every move. You catch yourself stealing glances when you think he isn’t looking, and you flinch whenever he gets too close.
Finally, he’s had enough.
“Okay,” he says firmly. “What’s with you? Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” you lie, your heart racing. You reach for your drink and take a hefty gulp.
“Have I said or done something? You’ve flaked on me the last couple of times I asked you to go out, you’ve left me on ‘read’ more than you’ve responded...”
You felt guilty for avoiding him, but you needed that space to sort out your thoughts. Though you wanted to have this conversation, you couldn’t find the right moment to broach the topic.
“Then you invite me over, barely talk—” he continues to rant.
“It’s... it’s really more of a me-problem,” you stammer.
“Just talk to me! I can take it.” He throws his hands up in frustration.
You inwardly groan, before finally coming clean. “Remember the last time we were at your studio? I was whining about...something.”
He squinted for a bit, then you could see the recognition slowly dawning in his eyes before lowering his voice. “You mean, how you take a long time to reach an orgasm?”
You shut your eyes, mortified when he articulates it. “Yes…”
“What about it?”
“It’s not exactly about that, but it’s more about what you said after. You know—your offer to help?”
His face visibly relaxes, prompting you to continue. “Okay.”
Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, but you push through. “Did you mean it, or were you just messing with me?”
He stares at you for a moment before shaking his head, the corner of his lips quirking up. “The offer still stands, if you want it.”
You sit there chewing the inside of your cheek, feeling torn. Your brain tells you to be careful—fucking your best friend could make things weird. But your body has other ideas. The warmth pooling between your legs makes it harder to think straight.
“Are you considering it?” His voice is gentle, giving you space to choose.
You deflect, buying time to sort through your tumbling thoughts. “I’m curious... have you thought about this before? About us?”
“The idea has crossed my mind from time to time.”
His candor sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “Oh,” is all you can manage to say.
“What about you? Have you thought about us...doing things?”
You draw in a shaky breath, forcing yourself to be equally honest. “I never thought of us that way before you mentioned it. But now...” you trail off, unable to verbalize how his suggestion has shifted something between you.
He inches closer, but maintains enough distance to keep you comfortable. His expression grows serious, earnest. “Listen, I would never pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to. You’re one of my best friends, and that matters more to me than anything else. If I’m out of line, just say the word and we won’t talk about it ever again.” The sincerity in his voice, the genuine concern in his eyes makes your heart ache. You’ve always known him to be considerate of your feelings.
“You weren’t out of line.” Hearing you say this was a huge relief to him. “But you can’t really un-ring that bell,” you add wryly.
You also couldn’t get past an earlier comment he made. “So…you’ve thought about us before?”
He takes a moment before answering. “Yeah. I mean, you’re beautiful. Who wouldn’t want you?”
Your cheeks flush at his compliment.
Your best friend has always had this effortless way about him—you’ve seen firsthand how easily he charms people during your nights out together.
Your resolve crumbles, and honestly, you’re tired of fighting it. “How are you so chill about all this?”
He laughs. “It’s sex, not rocket science.”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Things won’t get weird afterward, will they?”
“Afterward? So...you’re saying you want to have sex? With me?” His eyebrows raise slightly.
You already knew the answer to that question the moment you asked him to come over. “I guess I do,” you say softly with a nervous smile, “for science?”
His sexy, throaty laugh echoes through the room.
********
You sit nervously on your couch facing each other. Since this is completely new territory for both of you, you know you need to take things slow and make sure you’re both comfortable. Gathering up the courage to agree to this experiment is the easy part, but actually getting into it?
“Just to be clear—this is a one-time thing, right?”
“Of course,” he confirms. “This is purely for educational purposes. And your pleasure.”
You scrunch your nose in protest. “That doesn’t seem like a fair exchange.” The idea of him seeing this as one-sided doesn’t sit right with you. “Shouldn’t this be mutually beneficial?”
“I never said I had to get something out of this. You want to experience an orgasm from foreplay alone, without mechanical assistance, right?”
You nod.
“Okay. So, let me focus on making that happen for you. You don’t need to think about anything else.”
You didn’t want to be selfish, but his offer was difficult to refuse.
“This is about you, not me,” he insists. His decision is firm and he wasn’t budging.
“Okay,” you relent. Fidgeting nervously with the hem of your shirt, you take in a deep breath and release it before muttering, “How should we do this...”
When Jihoon doesn’t immediately offer any suggestions, you think of the most natural way to start.
“Maybe we could start with kissing?”
“Right, good idea.” His voice wavers slightly, betraying that he’s just as nervous as you are despite his attempts to stay composed. Oddly, this puts you at ease—knowing you’re both on the same page, figuring this out as you go.
You both move in closer together, and time seems to slow as he leans in. Your eyes flutter shut, then his lips meet yours. They’re exactly as you’d imagined—soft, warm, and unexpectedly gentle. The kiss starts tentatively, but as your lips find their rhythm, everything feels natural.
When you break apart for a moment, you can’t help but smile. “You’re a good kisser.” You barely finish the sentence before being drawn back to his lips.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he hums, and you can feel his smile against your lips as you both laugh, the sounds melting into your kisses.
Your kisses grow more intense, your mouth sucking on his top lip while his tongue traces delicately along yours, building a warmth that spreads through your entire body. You fist at his shirt, bunching the fabric between your knuckles, while his hand cradles your neck, his thumb gently stroking along your pulse point.
Gradually, his kisses move from your lips, following a path along the curve of your jawline, down to the slope of your neck. You can’t help but giggle at the sensation.
He instantly pulls back, a worried look on his face. “Sorry, are you not into that?”
“No, no—I mean—Yes, I am into it. I’m just a little bit ticklish there, that’s all,” you explain.
“Oh... okay. Do you want to keep going?”
You nod, and as he leans in for another kiss but pauses when you place a hand on his chest. “You know, I didn’t think I’d enjoy this because we’ve been friends for so long, but I have to admit that I like it.”
“Yeah?” A smirk plays across his lips. “Tell me what else you like.” He nips at your jawline. “Or show me.”
Desire spreads through you like wildfire. This was the point of no return. You take his hands and guide them under your shirt until they cup your breasts.
“What do you want me to do?” He murmurs through your lips.
“Play with them.”
His lips capture yours again as he squeezes your breast gently.
He eases you down onto the couch, his lips trailing from yours down your neck to your sternum. When he lifts your shirt to your chest, you feel constrained and pull it off completely, tossing it aside. He follows your lead, removing his own shirt.
His skilled fingers unhook your bra and takes a nipple into his mouth while his thumb teases the other, drawing a sharp breath from you.
You run your fingers through his hair as his kisses trace down your stomach, making your back arch at the sensation against your skin.
His hands glide down your sides until they reach your jeans, where he carefully undoes the button. You hook your fingers into your waistband and start pushing your bottoms down. He helps slide them off, his touch remaining gentle but with a hint of urgency as he pulls the fabric from your legs. As the last piece of clothing falls away, the cool air against your newly exposed skin makes you shiver.
One of his hands pushed between your legs, making them fall open shamelessly. His other hand continued to massage your breasts, making them unbearably sensitive. You can’t believe how slick you’d gotten in a short span of time. To think he hadn’t done much to you yet, apart from kissing you and squeezing your tits.
His gaze traveled down your body, lingering where his fingertips teased your sensitive folds. His feather-light touches made your inner walls clench with need. This only heightened your arousal, making you squirm beneath him, silently begging for more.
He slid one finger carefully into you. Your eyes closed against the unbearable vulnerability of being spread out naked and fingered by your friend, kneeling on the floor beside you. “Don’t think…just feel.” You keened as Jihoon pulled out and thrust gently back into you with two fingers. You couldn’t hold back a moan.
It’s probably been a few minutes now, you’re not sure as you’ve completely lost track of time. You blink furiously in a mild panic and stare down at him, still leisurely finger-fucking you. What he was doing felt so good, but you weren’t even halfway to your peak yet. By this point, other partners would be coming up for air, wanting you to return the favor or just ready to stick their cock in to get their fill.
“Relax...” he cooed, pressing a kiss against your inner thigh. Each deliberate dip and languid curl of his skilled fingers inside you made you wetter, gradually coaxing your muscles to yield. “It’s not a race,” he reassured you softly, his voice thick with desire. “I’ll keep going until you come.”
His words of encouragement sent waves of arousal coursing through you, making your breath catch in your throat.
“Kiss me,” you choked out, needing to feel his lips against yours. Without hesitation, he obliged, sealing his mouth over yours in a deep kiss that made you dizzy.
Your fingers clutched desperately at the edges of your cushions, knuckles turning white from your grip as you felt that familiar sensation between your legs. “Right there. Don’t stop,” you gasped between heavy breaths, your hips bucking against his steadily thrusting fingers. The pleasure was building to an unbearable level, making you feel like you might shatter to pieces if he didn’t push you over the edge soon.
He continued to whisper the filthiest things—words you’d never heard him say to you. They revealed previously unspoken fantasies that ignited your body and overwhelmed your senses. A fleeting thought crossed your mind, wondering if this was his usual bedroom talk. But that thought slipped away as his words and actions consumed you completely. Before you realized it, you were peaking.
“I want to see what you look like when you come,” he purred. “Do you look as pretty as you do right now?” Everything tightened in your core while he kept up his ministrations in a steady, unhurried rhythm.
“Oh fuck, I’m coming…”
“Don’t hold back. Let me hear you,” he urged.
You let out a strangled cry, your mind far beyond the depths of euphoria to care about being quiet or demure about this. He was mesmerized, unable to look away at the sheer pleasure that washed over you. Before you could even process what just happened, he’d already hooked your leg over the back of the couch and covered your cleft with his mouth.
He stroked your clit with his tongue, fluttering over it, building your hunger back up again. He teased your slick folds, taunting you with the promise of another orgasm—something you thought impossible to achieve so soon, yet your body responded eagerly. When his fingers pushed inside you at the same time, you had to bite your lip to stifle a scream.
You came again, your thighs trembling, tender muscles pulsing around his touch. His growl vibrated through you. You didn’t have the strength to push him away when he returned to your clit and sucked softly…tirelessly…but now you wanted more. You needed to feel him.
You manage to sit up and squeeze his shoulder to get his attention. He peers up at you from between your thighs.
“I want you to fuck me.”
“Already?” He smiles, teasing you with painfully slow strokes of his fingers. “Pretty sure I can get another one out of you,” he says cockily.
“Lee Jihoon—I. Am asking you. To fuck. Me,” you punctuated. “Will you do it or not?”
He sits up, turning sheepish all of a sudden. “I, uhm…didn’t expect us to be doing this, so I didn’t bring any condoms.”
It’s not like he was some random guy. Although you appreciated his caution, you just wanted him inside you. “I trust you,” you tell him before pressing a kiss to him.
After he settles on the couch, you shift unsteadily to straddle his hips, pressing your bodies together. Reaching between you, you fumble with his jeans until he helps, lifting his hips in a fluid motion to pull them down just enough to free himself. Bracing yourself, you let him guide you as you slowly sink down onto him. Your lips part with an involuntary sigh that turns into a soft moan as he fills you completely, stretching you in the most delicious way.
When you begin to roll your hips, the friction sends sparks of pleasure through your core.
“Fuck, your pussy feels good,” he breathes out roughly, his fingers digging into your hips before worry suddenly crosses his face. His cheeks flush as he stammers, “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
You giggle at his compliment, causing your muscles to clamp around his length. “I’m not mad at it,” you reassure him. “You make me feel really good, too.”
“Yeah?” His brow quirks. “You like when I fuck you?”
“Yes,” you moan, dipping your head to his lips in another kiss as you find your rhythm together.
His hands roam your back, pulling you closer as you rock against him with increasing urgency. Before this, you’ve resigned yourself to never experiencing an orgasm from penetrative sex, and yet here was another brewing and there was nothing you could do but let it happen.
You gasp as his hand makes sudden contact with your ass, the unexpected sting making you freeze in place. You stare at him dumbfounded.
“What are you going to do about it?” he challenges. Before you can answer, his hand comes down again with another firm smack that rings through the room. “What?” The sound of provocation in his voice makes your pulse quicken.
You hover over him, eyes narrowing as you lean closer. Through gritted teeth, your voice emerges as a heated whisper. “Harder.”
“I thought so.” He smiles slyly before your lips crash in a fierce kiss that leaves you both breathless.
With a firm grip, he holds your hips still as he thrusts into you with deliberate, measured strokes. You clutch at him, the rhythmic sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the room. Jihoon buries his face between your breasts, his rough groans reverberating against your flesh.
You whine helplessly, overwhelmed by the building pressure as the familiar coil of tension in your belly winds impossibly tight. Your thighs burn as you teeter on the edge of release.
“Yes...d-don’t...stop...hm...so close,” you pant.
He slows his movements to an agonizing pace, drawing out each thrust to drive you insane. He pulls out completely before sinking back into you with one deep thrust that makes you see stars. Your jaw drops, unintelligible sounds tumbling out your mouth as you come hard.
You hold onto him for dear life, your nails leaving a trail of crescent marks on his skin as he picks up the pace once again, his own rhythm becoming more erratic as he chases his own orgasm. A deep groan rumbles from his chest as your walls pulse and clench around him.
“I’m close,” he warns, his usually calm and collected face now twisted with agonizing need.
“Don’t pull out,” you manage to choke out between strained, ragged breaths.
“You…s-sure…?”
You nod eagerly. With your permission, he thrusts deeper and harder, making your neck loll in ecstasy. He draws you back into a rough, hungry kiss that muffles your shared moans as he reaches the end of his rope, his hips jerking against yours while he spurts inside.
Pressing your sweat-slicked forehead against his, you wait for your heart rate to return to normal. There’s no doubt in your mind—no previous partner could compare to Jihoon.
“Oh my fucking god,” you sigh. “We’ve been missing out all this time.”
He laughs softly, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. “It was worth the wait though!”
********
After a quick shower and a necessary trip to the pharmacy down the block, you and Jihoon return to your apartment with bags of late-night snacks. All that sexual activity had certainly worked up an appetite, and you found yourself craving something sweet. An ice cream waffle cone hit the spot for you.
“Are you okay?”
You smile, endeared at his worrying. “You know, you’ve asked me that same question multiple times now, and I’ll keep giving you the same answer—I’m fine. Great, actually!”
“I know, I know,” he responds sheepishly. “I just hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us.”
“Trust me, I don’t feel awkward about any of this at all,” you respond with complete sincerity before facing him to find out if he felt the same way you did. “Do you?”
He shakes his head, tilting the bag of Skittles into his mouth. “Nope,” he answers between chews. “To be honest, I thought that was fucking mind-blowing!”
You inhale sharply at his candid comment, nodding in agreement. “Same. Absolutely no complaints from me!”
He gets up from the couch, takes out a small box from the shopping bag to set it aside, and stuffs your discarded candy wrappers into it before heading to the kitchen to throw them away.
When he returns from the kitchen, your eyes linger on him. “Thanks, Jihoonie,” you whisper. “For…everything.”
“You’re welcome,” he replies with a wink before sinking back into the couch beside you.
This turned out to be the complete opposite of your initial fears. Not only did this one-off experiment exceed all your expectations, but it seems your friendship remained the same. Though you never would have guessed that your best friend would end up giving you the best orgasms of your life.
As you continue to enjoy your treat, you notice Jihoon’s eyes fixed on your tongue as it swirls around the chocolate ice cream. His dark eyes watching you with the same intensity as when you came undone with his touch earlier.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
You arched an eyebrow at him. “Quit staring at me like that,” you cautioned, though your tone suggested otherwise.
“Then don’t ever eat an ice cream cone in front of me,” he responds with a chuckle as he subtly adjusts himself beneath his pants.
You bite your lip, feeling a warmth between your legs again. “You know...” you clear your throat, reaching for the box of condoms he left on the coffee table, “I wonder if these things really live up to the ‘raw’ feel.”
He clicks his teeth dismissively before responding. “I think it’s false advertising.”
“You think so?”
He takes the box from you, examining the label. “I mean, we do have a perfect point of comparison,” he reasons, a smile ghosting his lips. “Should we find out?”
You stare at each other for a moment before breaking into grins and exclaiming in unison, “For science!”
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leighsartworks216 · 4 months ago
Text
Understanding
dragon!Sylus x blind!oracle!Reader
Series Masterlist - Chapter One - Prev Chapter - Next Chapter
I DIDN'T FORGET TO POST THIS ON THURSDAY!!! I found updating on Thursdays actually a horrible idea considering it's one of my busiest days of the week, so I'm shifting to post on Saturdays now. Sorry for anyone who was looking forward to an update then and didn't see one <333
Warnings: none that I know of, but lmk if I missed something
Word Count: 1,910
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AO3
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You’re scared to leave your room the next day. Not for fear of being hurt… or worse, surprisingly enough. You spent all night (day? It’s hard to keep track of time here) organizing your thoughts and morals. You couldn’t rest until you figured them out, and you were awake still long after, figuring out what to say to him.
With a deep breath and a quick run-through of the script you put together, you follow the rocky walls through the lair. You feel like a child again, trying to sneak out of the temple. As though any moment you’ll be caught and forced to recite hymns to atone for your mischief.
Your search for the fiend is made easy when you hear the quiet clink of metal hitting each other. It leads you to the treasure room, far more echoey than any other room you’ve been to thus far and with air that doesn’t feel as condensed.
Something is tossed into a pile of coins. You can hear them sliding down the side, scraping over one another before coming to rest on the floor. And again.
“Are you… organizing?”
The coins still and you’re left in the silence. You can just barely hear his breathing, the swish of air around the tail you’ve seen in your visions.
“You…” You inhale, trying to find the words you rehearsed to yourself over and over again, lost somewhere in the aether, never to return. “I don’t think you’re… as much of a monster as you make yourself out to be.”
He chuckles humorlessly. You startle at the sound. “No? How come, pet? Is it not in my nature to desecrate the world and its innocents? Is it not destiny that makes me maim?” Something is lifted from one pile and tossed into another with a loud clatter.
You clear your throat. Destiny is a complicated topic, one that has no tried and true answer. Thinking such is blasphemous in itself. You banish the thought quickly before you call down Astra’s ire upon you.
“You said they were trying to kill you. If that is the truth, then you are the innocent here. Everyone will do anything in their power to save their own life, even if that means taking another.” You exhale unevenly. “As far as I’m concerned, their lives were forfeit as soon as they encroached on your…” You gesture vaguely around. “Home.”
“Does your god share your opinion?”
A weak laugh jostles out of you. “Probably not,” you admit. You swallow nervously. “I’m sure He’ll let me know if He doesn’t. But He doesn’t speak for me, and I can only speak so much of His will into existence. Whether He likes it or not, I have beliefs outside of Him, and I believe that you’re not as unredeemable and unforgivable as the stories say… If you were, I wouldn’t be alive right now.”
Your heart thuds uncomfortably in your chest as you wait for any sort of response from him. Maybe you said something wrong, somewhere, somehow, and made things worse. Maybe calling him innocent was an insult, a miscommunication between dragons and mortals, blindly overstepped. But you wait. You listen.
Slowly, you hear him moving again. “Come here.”
For a moment, you think he’s calling you over so he can kill you, strip your bones and discard you with the rest. You force that assumption down, despite how tempting it sounds to get the hell out of there. You wouldn’t get very far anyway.
Carefully, you step further into the room. You have to abandon the reassurance of the doorway in favor of wide open space. Sliding your feet across the floor, you’re careful not to step on anything, with your arms outstretched to feel for anything solid. Some ways from the door, something hard and strong wraps around your waist and drags you to the side. You jump, yelping uncertaintly as you’re nudged to sit down on something plush and soft. It’s unlike anything else you’ve felt around the tunnels.
“I am organizing,” he confirms, as though your outpouring of sympathy never happened. “You can sit here while I do.”
You hesitantly, curiously, feel the plush cushion. It’s almost velvety beneath your fingers, if not a bit rough. “How long has this been here?”
It’s rhetorical, but you hear him chuckle. “Long before you got here, oracle.”
You try not to show your surprise at the new nickname for you. Anything aside from “pet” is greatly welcomed. It does more to ease your nerves than anything else he could have chosen to say.
“Speaking of which, any new insights on your prophecy?”
Gods, you’d nearly forgotten all about it. “Not especially,” you say, “though you being a fiend does answer some of my questions.”
More clinking metal. Rather than being thrown, it sounds like it was carefully placed on the floor. “How so?”
“Your appearance, primarily. It’s unlike anything I’ve seen before.”
“‘Seen’? Did you forget you’re blind, or have you lost your wits in the short time you’ve been here?”
You laugh. Ah, right, he’s never met a Chosen before. You find a back to the furniture you sit on. It’s wooden and intricate. You adjust to lean up against it, legs stretched out along the rest of the cushion. It feels heavenly after days of sleeping on hard rock. “No, I’m as sane as I can be. It’s how I receive the prophecies from Astra; he plays the events in my mind and I can see them actually played out before me as I sleep.”
He hmphs. Something heavy shifts across the floor. “That’s a bit cruel.”
“How do you mean?”
“How long have you been blind?”
“Um, my whole life. I was born this way.”
“And yet he dangles the gift of sight before you every time you need to relay the future. You’d think a god like him could find a better way to do so.”
You pick at the cloth on your hands. “I… I have no comment.”
“Do you miss it when you wake up? Being able to see?”
Do you? You’ve become so intimately accustomed to it, you don’t think about it anymore. Being allowed to see prophecies in such a unique way has become so detached from your blindness; you can’t seem to reconcile them together anymore. The waking world and the world of dreams are two separate entities, incomparable.
“I guess I just don’t think about it once I’ve woken up,” you choose to say.
“Do you wish you could see?”
“No.” There’s no hesitation, no doubt. You feel his eyes on you as you smile. “For all the hardships and struggles, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Do you wish you weren’t a dragon?”
He scoffs, amused, but a sour note lingers. He doesn’t answer. You suspect he may just wish such a thing.
You undo the messy knot in the cloth around your left hand and begin to unwrap it. Your hands don’t hurt anymore, so perhaps they’ve healed? Either way, these things probably need to be changed out. You clear your throat. “I don’t know much about dragons. Nothing that I’d consider trustworthy information, anyway.”
“What have you heard?”
“The usual: fiends are terrifying beasts that feed on human flesh and steal innocent girls for their own pleasure. They have huge lairs full of gold and priceless treasures.” You set the first wrap aside and begin working on the second. “The lair and hoard are true, I would assume, since…” You gesture around.
“Yes, those are true,” he laughs. You hear his footsteps getting closer. “I can’t say anything for my appearance, but we don’t eat human flesh. I’m sure some of us have stolen girls in the past. As for myself, you’re the first mortal I’ve brought back here.”
“What do you eat?” You can’t recall hearing him eat anything since you arrived. Even from afar, you could usually pinpoint the distinct chewing sounds, as unpleasant as they are. And for how many skeletons you stumbled upon yesterday…
He doesn’t respond right away. His steps stop in front of you, halting your wrapping as you wait for what will happen next. You nearly startle when his voice returns beside your ear, hot breath fanning against your skin and drawing goosebumps along your arms against your will. “Human souls,” he says. You think he’s smirking. He sounds far too amused. “The bones you found. They’re from hunters who come to kill me. Thieves who try to claim my treasures. I ate their souls.”
You swallow. “Will you eat mine?”
He chuckles as he backs away, speaking to you face to face. “Would you like me to?”
“No,” you answer sharply.
“Then I won’t.”
“I assume this is a very rare special treatment, not extended to others.”
“As curious as I am to know what an oracle’s soul tastes like,” he teases with a mournful sigh. “Let me see your hands.”
You finish unwrapping your right hand. The cloth drops into a pile with the other, and you hold both your hands in front of you, palms up. Something hard and sharp holds the back of your hands, startling you. They leave for a second, before holding them again.
“Are those… your hands?”
He hums an affirmative. He tilts your hands from side to side, examining the old injuries you sustained. “They’ve healed well,” he says, sounding impressed. “I guess I was wrong to underestimate you.”
You huff a laugh. “I told you! The people in the city are rough; even I picked up some things here and there for my own sake. I probably wouldn’t have been able to run away if I hadn’t been just a little resourceful.”
“You’re getting cocky now, oracle. Mind your head doesn’t get too big and fall from your shoulders.” He lets go of your hands. Something flicks your forehead. You grab it before he can fully pull away.
It’s sharp and tough, with ridges and plating coming together to form gauntlet-like fingers and a rough palm. He doesn’t take his hand back. You can feel his eyes watching you, staring you down like a bird of prey, but your curiosity fends off the embarrassment.
When you find his wrist, you think maybe you’ll find soft skin. Instead, it’s just more hard plating, as high up as you dare to feel. It’s cold, texture akin to a beetle’s shell. You hold the back of his hand in your palm, as he’d just done to you, and trace the other overtop. A small heart shape catches your attention. You follow its contour a few times, before lightly feeling up the lengths of his fingers. The tips are pointed, enough that if you dared press any harder, they’d surely break through your skin and draw blood.
“Why did you run away?” he asks, voice reduced to a low rumble.
You release his hand. “Astra gave me a prophecy that they didn’t like,” you explain matter-of-factly. Though, maybe he can see the sorrow that crosses your face. “It’s not the first time, but this one predicted the coming of doomsday. It topped the pile of bad prophecies, tipped the scale too far, and they decided I was the one wishing doom on their families. I heard them talking wherever I went, plotting to kill me at dawn’s first light, as a sacrifice to appease Astra. So, I ran.”
“Just the messenger, right?”
“Precisely.”
---
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qiu-yan · 5 months ago
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avoidance
if i had been in jiang cheng's position immediately after the fall of lotus pier, i probably would not have tried to strangle wei wuxian.
i don't like dealing with negative emotions, so instead i'd probably say some bullshit like "whaaat? no, it's not your fault and i don't blame you at all, so don't worry about it," and then just put all my energy towards trying to survive. except i would blame wei wuxian. i would very much blame him, from the depths of my soul. even if i tried my hardest to convince myself not to blame him, that i should not blame him, that i do not want to blame him - nonetheless, my subconscious would remain convinced that, were it not for him, my family and everyone i grew up with would still be alive.
and, because of that resentment, i would begin to pull away from him.
i would not save wei wuxian from that wen patrol. even if i did love that deeply, my resentment would still blunt my reaction time and i would not be able to act in time. for the sake of convenience, let's say that wen ning rescues wei wuxian from lotus pier anyways. wei wuxian lives. what happens then? on one hand, i still resent him for causing the deaths of all my family; on the other hand, though, now i also feel guilty for allowing him to be captured and tortured simply because i would not die in his place. how do i deal with these complicated emotions - these unsightly, ugly emotions? i don't. i bury them and pretend they don't exist, because running away from difficult feelings is how i've always lived my life - i run away from him, because whenever i see him, this twinned of resentment and guilt rear their ugly heads again.
thus, because of my emotional unavailability, the relationship tanks. maybe wei wuxian gets his core melted, somehow picks up demonic cultivation anyways, and is thus pulling away from me as well; maybe the avoidance comes from both ends. and if wei wuxian instead notices that something is wrong and starts pestering me about what's wrong - well, i have full faith in my ability to deflect. i am long-practiced in diverting the focus of a conversation specifically to imply that the other party's concern isn't welcome.
thus, by the time the sunshot campaign ends, our relationship would have severely deteriorated. and then, because of this, i would take wei wuxian leaving our sect to protect the wen remnants as the actual end of our bond. unlike jiang cheng, i would not even argue against wei wuxian's leaving, nor say things as sentimental as "if you insist on protecting them, then i cannot protect you" - instead, i'd simply write off our relationship as doomed and sever it peacefully.
after all, he owes me nothing. i am entitled to neither his labor nor his presence. if he wishes to leave, then he is free to go; if he wishes to no longer be family, the i will no longer think of him as so. in fact, the less familiarly i think of him, the better: it is at once much easier and much more comfortable for me to believe, in a post-hoc sense, that someone who has left me actually never wanted to be with me to begin with, and i therefore have not lost anything of value at all. and this loss would not hurt me as much as it hurt jiang cheng in canon. after all, i, unlike jiang cheng, am a veteran at avoiding all thought on topics that distress me; instead, i'd soon find something new and exciting with which to distract myself.
i would not visit wei wuxian in the burial mounds. if jiang yanli insisted on seeing him, perhaps i would accompany her there, but i would not make any conversation with him myself beyond what is absolutely necessary. i would consider the death of jin zixuan unforgivable. i would consider the death of jiang yanli unforgivable. but perhaps i would not feel as wretchedly betrayed as jiang cheng does in canon: after all, i in this scenario, unlike jiang cheng, have already given up on wei wuxian a long time ago.
i would probably lead the first siege of the burial mounds. i would not hold the same level of animosity against the wens as jiang cheng does in canon - in general, while i can hold onto subconscious resentment for a long time, actively clinging onto seething hatred for extended periods of time is difficult for me. perhaps i'd even speak up more for the wen remnants, out of purely some abstract moral concern for the wellbeing of POWs; however, i'd stand down the moment any of said speech put my own people in danger. perhaps i'd lead the first siege of the burial mounds because it is expected of me. or perhaps i'd genuinely want the man who hurt my sister to die.
either way, if i then encountered wei wuxian in the burial mounds battlefield, i would actually kill him. it would be easy for me to do so.
---
as you might have guessed, the "i" in this passage is not actually me (yanyan) from real life. if it were Me In Real Life in jiang cheng's position i would probably just die.
instead, the "i" in thjis passage is a different MDZS character. prize for you (bragging rights) if you can guess who it is!!!!!
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mamayura · 5 months ago
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Okay but what's crazy is that the episode does subtly reveal that Adrien did keep it a secret from Marinette that he's more than silent jogging buddies with Sublime
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In the beginning, Marinette says that when she asked Adrien if he and Sublime talk when they go running he always says "no". This is factually correct as we find out in the end through Sublime:
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But there is obviously something not adding up here. Sublime literally says "Outside of running, of course Adrien and I talk". They just arent talking in any of their morning runs because Sublime in particular is doing it as serious training. So no talking because that would impact their breathing, but outside of that? Well, yeah, duh.
And that makes sense
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Adrien and Sublime are in the same ancient Greek class, of course they would talk. I'm gonna go with the assumption that this is why Sublime started running by his side, because they vaguely knew each other from Greek class and when they crossed each others running paths one morning they were familiar enough to just run together in silence
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Look, I- I dont know how to put this more elegantly, so I'll rip off the bandaid. The vibes I'm getting from this episode are that Adrien was more than cool with not talking anyway because he deliberately keep his friendship with Sublime a secret from Marinette because he knew Marinette would be weird about it and that made him uncomfortable.
He knows his girlfriend and she's peanut-butter-and-jealous.
And the thing is, as much as this certainly is a complicated topic with a lot of factors to consider for both sides, the way the episode had Marinette go about all this...
... the episode proved him RIGHT. He was right to be too uncomfortable with letting Marinette know about being friends with Sublime. She merely found out that they were running together in silence and proceeded to not only keep watching them each morning and taking photos, Marinette even proceeded to stalk the hell out Sublime:
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No, this isnt normal. This isnt a "quirky girlfriend" thing to do, or "funny haha". Its one of the reason why Adrien didnt feel comfortable letting her know.
And, I mean, yeah. I can't blame him for it, can I? :I
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Later on, Sublime is very quick to piece together that the girl hiding behind them is Adrien's girlfriend. Not the thing I would immediately go with, unless of course Adrien did already vaguely mention having a girlfriend to Sublime at one point. Then yes, her coming to this conclusion after Marinette followed her all day makes a lot more sense. Even if those are not.. nice implications. The episode does go on playing it straight at first that Marinette is the weird and a bit alarming girlfriend.
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Look, you can pretty this up if you like, but for me, Adrien is clearly a solid bit uncomfortable and very apologetic here to Sublime because of Marinette's behavior. Sublime too is being nice about it to a degree you shouldnt take for granted. She would have had been perfectly justified in saying something else entirely. Adrien is trying to be a good boyfriend about this, but Marinette is out here proving him right in having struggled with wanting her to know about Sublime. Marinette has been following her around all day, Sublime noticed, and Adrien is doing good faith damage control here by telling Sublime that Marinette has good intentions and only wants to be her friend.
Something, though, that the episode clarified 3 times wasnt really the case:
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It is so weird that at the core of the problem for both sides of Adrinette WAS Marinette being peanut-butter-and-jealous.
Marinette did NOT try to befriend Sublime out of some pure-hearted desire to know her. She did so because she feared that Adrien could end up not loving her anymore if she doesnt gain some control over the Sublime situation real quick
And Adrien DID keep his friendship with Sublime a secret from Marinette because, well, was he wrong?
And thats the thing. The episode just DROPS this in favor of saying that Marinette only had these pure-hearted intentions to know her when that isnt true. The episode proved Adrien alarmingly RIGHT in his gut feeling to keep Sublime a secret from Marinette, they just-
They just didnt let him know about any of it as if that makes it any less true. I would understand it if this episode had been entirely about tackling this issue for good. Adrien not being wrong for feeling uncomfortable with letting Marinette know about any new female friends and then Adrien gets proven right, but the situation is saved by Marinette's secondary desire of befriending Sublime.
Sure, not the plot of my choice, but I would GET IT because it would actually cover the given problem. Here it is... they didnt do it. Adrien was proven right, Marinette did everything wrong to Sublime that was possible and ended up breaking her prosthetic and ruined the sponsorship with a combo of Marinette's and Ladybug's harmful inconsideration.
Marinette did exactly what Adrien was afraid of... and they just DON'T resolve the initial Adrinette core of this issue. It's still ongoing. Marinette didnt even get to react in the end to finding out that Adrien did keep her in the dark about talking to Sublime:
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I guess for now the explanation for that will be that Adrinette switched positions in this for once and now it's Marinette who isnt questioning it enough that Adrien only said the truth to her going by the technicality of "She only ask him if they talk while running".
Obviously, this is not how it works. He kept her in the dark. And whether he was right to doing so or not isnt important for the feeling I'm getting that this is just the beginning of a streak of similar problems like this. The postponed resolution to this will happen at a later point, and knowing Miraculous, they'll do it after it escalates to hell.
We already saw it in "Illustrhater" and the synopsis for "Werepapas" for example also sounds like Marinette will not stop here being a questionable girlfriend
I just dont understand why they would keep on DOING that?
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petersasteria · 18 days ago
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FXXK IT - Choi Seunghyun (T.O.P)
Pairing: seunghyun x fem!reader (college au) Summary: he likes you... or not... er, he's not sure... he's never dealt with feelings before
track 11: fxxk it for attie's MADE event. go check it out! x t.o.p masterlist
thank u, @makeitworse <3
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Seunghyun didn't know how or when it started, but he absolutely hated it. You were supposed to be a temporary thing. Heck, even you knew you were a temporary thing. However, something shifted. Seunghyun didn't like it at all. Soon, he found himself obsessing over you a little bit and that scared him which made some funny entertainment for his friends.
"Man, you're down bad for Y/N." Jiyong laughed. "This is your nth time checking her Instagram!"
"Shut the fuck up." He hissed. "I can get her out of my mind."
"Sure." Jiyong rolled his eyes.
Jiyong knew that his best friend already liked you. He found it ridiculous that Seunghyun wouldn't admit it to them... or at least himself. Jiyong has met you a few times because of your shared classes and he found you very sweet, caring, and soft spoken; the opposite of his best friend. That's why he's so entertained seeing Seunghyun crumble even at just the thought of you.
"Just go and talk to her. You guys are 'dating', anyway." Daesung shrugged, not really caring about Seunghyun's complicated situation. His mantra? Kourtney Kardashian's iconic: "Kim, there's people that are dying" quote. He believes that love will come at the right time and he shouldn't force it.
"Aish, don't be so hard on him, Dae." Youngbae shook his head before turning to Seunghyun, "Don't mind him. Just approach Y/N and y'know, slowly ease into the relationship topic." Youngbae's a lover. It's natural for him to be such. That's why his relationship is a success.
"Are you forgetting that I have commitment issues?" Seunghyun said.
"If you have commitment issues, let her go! Jesus Christ, man. Stop complicating things." Daesung sighed, tired of hearing the same shit everyday. "Look, we're not saying that you should go after her. We're well aware that all your relationship fails because of your failure to commit when things get serious, but-"
"Dang, that hit home." Seunghyun said, looking at Daesung.
"It's true. Anywa-"
"What Daesung meant to say was, if you like her enough to change and if you like her enough to try staying committed, then go ahead and do so. If you don't want to do all that, then it's best to cut it off now before both of you start falling for each other." Jiyong said in a kinder way than what Daesung was supposed to say.
Seunghyun thought about it for a while before looking at his friends, "Fuck it. I don't know anything about this shit, but Y/N makes me want to try and figure it out."
"Yay!" Youngbae cheered happily.
"Fuckin' finally! You're not getting any younger, hyung." Daesung snickered.
"Okay, shut it." Seunghyun rolled his eyes.
-
a/n: i'm so sorry it's short!!!
i did my best <3
Taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @nbjch05 @ldydeath @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @emmiesoverthemoon @breakmeoff @sayugarper @gdinthehouseee @patheticgirl127
seunghyun taglist: @loveesiren @millytugby @seungttttop
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andhumanslovedstories · 1 year ago
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I try to answer other people’s call lights if I’m not busy, because if my work is done and I’ve helped out with other people’s work, I can fully commit to slacking off guilt free. And usually what people want is bathroom, snacks, and/or pain meds, all of which are pretty easy to address and if there’s anything too complicated, I can always call the nurse. Anyway, I go answer this call light, and it’s for a patient I don’t know and have never spoken to before. I pop in like “hi can I help you?” as I feel so quietly smug about how Helpful I am being, and the patient goes, “do you know if I’m dying tonight? If I am, I should call my family.”
To be so clear. I was expecting like. a request for a ginger ale. I was not prepared emotionally for a very sick stranger grappling with the angst of potentially imminent death. So I go, “UMMM. I DON’T KNOW. LEMME CHECK WITH YOUR NURSE AND SEE IF SHE KNOWS.” This seemed heinously inadequate in the face of their obvious despair, so I added, “probably not in the next ten minutes if you’re able to sit up and ask, but I can’t make any promises.”
Don’t think that was the ideal follow up sentence. But it didn’t seem to make the patient any sadder than they already were. I used to really live in fear of being the nurse in someone’s anecdote about a wildly inappropriate thing said to them by their nurse. It’s not so much as I’ve gotten over that fear as I’ve accepted that my job thrusts me into a lot of situations where I have to talk about extremely intense topics to the people most intimately affected by those topics, often with no time, no prep, and no information. At this point, I just try my best to ground my inarticulate fumblings in as much genuine care as I can express, and thank God I don’t fuck up worse and more often.
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sunderwight · 1 year ago
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Bingqiu AU where SY and LBH grow up as childhood friends (idk maybe they're both at QJP but Shen Jiu is less of an asshole, or maybe SY transmigrates into Random Village Bully Child No.3 when Binghe's mom is still alive -- or both) and there's none of the tension of the idea of "one day Luo Binghe is going to rip my limbs off" for Shen Yuan.
So he and LBH can just be bros! Fantastic! Shen Yuan has never had a little brother before but he's had a little sister, he knows how to do this. Just spoil the cute kid rotten!
It's only fair compensation for how many terrible things LBH is gonna have to endure on the road to ruling the world, after all. SY also feels more freedom to change minor aspects of the plot around, too, like maybe he'll stop Liu Qingge from dying, definitely he can help LBH get a better start to his cultivation journey, and maybe the abyss and xin mo thing doesn't really need to happen...?
The list of things SY considers meddling with ends up including wives.
Like really, come on now, Luo Binghe may be a stallion protagonist but there's no need for that many women. Especially when at least half of them are just increasingly cheap copies of the other half, and that's being generous about it. Some of PIDW Binghe's wives were, frankly, horrible people. And if he's being honest about it, it wasn't fair of Binghe himself to take on that many either. Even if anyone would naturally give their left arm to be the protagonist's wife, after a certain point Binghe just can't spend that much time actually with them! And then he can't form the kinds of deep and meaningful bonds which might actually help heal his trauma!
SY's not looking to interfere too much, of course. Ning Yingying is not his favorite wife, but she's fine. She causes trouble but it isn't on purpose, and she's genuinely sweet and willing to befriend Binghe before he's anything special (although even now, it's obvious Binghe is special). Ning Yingying can stay.
And of course, so can Best Wife Liu Mingyan.
But Sha Hualing? Well, she offers some political advantages, and as the demon wives go she's not the worst. She's kind of iconic and was very popular, but Shen Yuan thinks the harem could do without her scheming and malicious attitude towards the other wives. The cost of harmony was too high for the political bonuses offered, especially when Binghe might as well just take her ancestral lands by force and be done with it. He's going to advise against that match.
And the Qin sisters. Sure there's the legendary threesome, but Wanrong's dead weight and it never struck SY quite right how Qin Wanyue pressured Luo Binghe into sex. The threesome wasn't even good anyway.
Better Qin Wanyue than the Little Palace Mistress on that front, though. But aish, that's complicated, the Palace Mistress is even more politically vital to securing HHP than Sha Hualing is for her father's kingdom, and almost as bad for the peace and harmony of the harem. Ultimately SY will leave it up to Binghe, but if Binghe asks, he's going to advise against the Huan Hua wives too.
With thoughts like this in mind, SY starts talking to Binghe about how to establish a household, what to look for in a spouse (or twenty), and other topics of that nature. What sort of household Luo Binghe ought to strive to have, and what sorts of standards he should himself to. Also while of course assuring him that Shen Yuan isn't interested in women. Lest he worry that Shen Yuan might be trying to steal any of the wives from him, at any point. He's not competition!
SY: I am helping to pave the way for Binghe to have better marital relationships! I am the best big brother slash best buddy ever! don't worry, no matter what happens to Binghe, this gege will be your no.1 cheerleader forever!
LBH: is he saying I should get a palace if I want to marry him? well... that sounds reasonable. ok, I will do it! (•̀ ω •́)✧
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fanmistery · 5 months ago
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HEADCANONS ARCANE X GN READER!TINNITUS.
៚HEADCANONS of how you would meet and move into a relationship with Vi and Viktor. The reader is gender-neutral.
TINNITUS: A whistling or ringing sound in one or both ears that may be constant or come and go, often associated with hearing loss.
Characters included: Viktor and Vi/Violet. Part Two Jinx and Caitlyn here.
Part one!
Note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to write something about these characters, this idea was in my head all day. It should be clarified that I do not intend to offend anyone with this, I myself have Tinnitus so everything I put here is based on my experience. Just that, enjoy reading!
៚VIKTOR.
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៚ Viktor in his youth, more specifically when he was studying and before he became Heimerdinger's assistant. He is completely absorbed in his investigations at Piltover. His world revolves around science and his efforts to overcome the physical limitations that have always accompanied him and, above all, to surpass others and be the best student. So it will take a long time for him to realize your existence.
៚He will only realize your existence when he hears you asking the colleague next to you that he could offer you his seat since you did not want to sit at the back, which led to a heated argument due to your insistence, even he got upset (more than nothing because he couldn't concentrate on reviewing the topics from the previous class), there were other benches available, I didn't understand why you were making a fuss for wanting to sit in front. You ended up sitting all the way back anyway, and you just became the talk of spoiled brats, and, normally he wouldn't care but he got to hear through the rumors that you were someone from Zaun. Which surprised him quite a bit, since as far as he knew, the only one from Zaun was him.
៚ And for a while he was not the center of criticism and ridicule, but you were. Most of the class complained because you were always asking obvious questions to them or to the teacher, even asking them to pass you the notes of what a teacher was dictating. It got to a point where you could no longer ask for guidance from them and you ended up asking him for help. Of course he helped you but not before he asked you directly “what the hell was wrong with you?”.
៚When he finds out about your situation, that you have tinnitus, his reaction is very Viktor: scientific but empathetic. "Is it a subjective perception of sound, without external stimulus? Fascinating." Although he may seem cold, he has no intention of minimizing your experience; rather, he is genuinely interested.
៚For Viktor, attraction begins in the mind. If you prove to be an insightful, curious person who is able to understand (or at least try to understand) his way of reasoning. One night, while you're both working on a particularly complicated project, Viktor might blurt out something unexpected without looking you straight in the eye. "I never thought I would find someone who would understand so well the... persistent nature of my mind so well. It's exhausting, but you don't seem to freak out."
You pause what you were doing and turn your back on him to go get a cup of coffee to take your mind off your sleep, while doing so you say nonchalantly : "And why should I? We all deal with something."
Although Viktor doesn't respond, his slight smile and the way his eyes soften say it all.
៚The relationship begins to deepen when Viktor talks openly about his own physical limitations (his cane, his deteriorating health) and how these have made him feel isolated at times. This creates common ground: they both feel that their relationship with the world is limited by their physical conditions. Viktor comments something like, “It's funny how our minds can be so clear, but our bodies constantly remind us how fragile we are.”
៚So Viktor begins to see you as someone who not only understands his struggle, but also that you face your own daily battle. This inspires you to be more considerate and open with your emotions, although your reserved nature moves you forward slowly.
៚At some point in their lives you end up working in their lab, in fact, you have an exclusive little space just for you.... So you are always together day and night, you doing your thing and he doing his.
៚Viktor's small gestures begin to show his concern in subtle ways, such as adjusting the volume of his experiments when you are nearby or avoiding shrill sounds. Little by little, this shows that he is not only a brilliant man, but also attentive to details that might affect you.
៚In his conversations, Viktor tends to speak in a higher, more leisurely tone. The idea of creating a device to help you hear is born after seeing you frustrated when you don't understand what he is saying when they are a few meters apart, so Viktor spends entire nights studying tinnitus, from its physiological origin to the experimental solutions available.
Jayce might walk into the lab and find Viktor surrounded by diagrams and medical texts.
Jayce, curious, asks, "Are you working on anything related to acoustics? It's not typical for you."
"It's a personal project. It's not for me." Viktor replies without even bothering to look at him
Although Jayce insists on knowing more, Viktor prefers not to reveal too much. “It's not relevant to our joint goals.”
He uses Hextech to explore how frequencies can interact with the auditory system, and although he encounters obstacles, he is more determined than ever.
When you're about to be introduced to the device, he doesn't hesitate to speak up: "I've been thinking...about your hearing."
“Uh, what about it? ”you ask, a little surprised that he has initiated so randomly about your condition.
Viktor averts his gaze, to avoid embarrassing himself, about his feelings to you. "It shouldn't be something that limits your experiences. I think I can do something about it."
Although you might at first feel unsure-perhaps even doubtful that anything can really help-Viktor assures you with a mixture of humility and confidence, "I don't promise miracles, but it would be interesting to see if I can...level the field for you."
៚Viktor spent weeks fine-tuning his prototype: a small device with Hextech technology that not only amplifies sound, but filters out the harmful frequencies associated with tinnitus. When it's finally ready, he hands it to you with his trademark serious but intent tone. "It's a prototype. It may need tweaking, but I'd like you to try it out."
You put it on, and after a few seconds of adjustment, you experience something you didn't expect: the sound of the world, clear and crisp. Perhaps the light brush of Viktor's fingers on the table, or the conversations of students in the hallways. You can't help but let a sense of relief and full of happiness flood through you, you allow yourself the luxury of crying, of breaking Viktor's personal space and hugging him a little tightly, feeling so lucky to have him by your side. "Viktor...I.. I...I can hear... I can hear things I haven't heard in years."
Viktor is surprised by the sudden physical contact but it doesn't bother him, he even loves your sudden outburst of trust, even though you've been friends for a long time you're not hugging, just occasional touches here and there. He smiles sideways, satisfied with the result and reciprocating your embrace without hesitation, he just hopes you don't notice his heart beating fast for you and your warm closeness. "It's just the first step. If something doesn't work, we'll make it better. But I'm glad it's working."
He says, and if the hug lasted a long time neither of them minded.
៚But it doesn't stop there, Viktor customizes the device after you've been using it for a while. He adds a feature that can amplify specific sounds, such as the pitch of his own voice, so you can hear him even in noisy environments.
When you notice this, you ask him, "Did you do this just so I could hear you better?"
Viktor looking at you warmly, at this point no longer caring about hiding his affections from you. "Maybe. I'd rather you didn't miss anything important...especially when I'm the one talking."
៚Instead of using flowery words, Viktor explains his feelings in a very logical way.
"You are like a perfectly calibrated system. You find a way to fit even in my messiest moments...and that's not something I can easily explain. But I think the reason I want you around is more personal than scientific. "
You, so touched by her sincerity, smile and respond, "You know? That's probably the most romantic statement anyone has ever made to me."
៚Viktor's formal statement. Although Viktor has already made his intentions clear, you want to make sure everything is perfectly understood. A few days after the conversation, while they are in the lab, he interrupts the silence with an unexpected proposal. "I've been thinking about our conversation... and I'd like to ask you something. Would you consider staying by my side, not just as a colleague, but as something more?"
You, already so used to his direct but genuine manner, agree with a gentle nod, and Viktor responds with a slight smile that lights up his normally stoic expression.
៚For Viktor, expressing love is not something he does lightly. Probably, the first “I love you” happens accidentally.
While working on an experiment, you make a small mistake, but Viktor intervenes before the damage is irreparable. You are frustrated, the fatigue seems to get to you. You know it, but you can't help but feel guilty. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin it...”
Viktor without thinking admits, "It doesn't matter. You wouldn't ruin anything... I love you too much to worry about that."
They both fall silent.
Viktor realizes what he just said, but instead of taking it back, he calmly adds, “I guess it's about time I said it.”
៚VI/VIOLET.
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៚ Vi will meet you in her Emo days, This meeting takes place at a complicated time for Vi. It's been weeks since she broke up with Caitlyn. Although she is no longer hurt by the breakup, she carries enormous pent-up frustration. The situation with Jinx (Powder) is out of control, Zaun is still in chaos, and Vi feels like she's fighting a never-ending battle. This mix of anger, emotional exhaustion and discontent with the world makes her more impulsive and sarcastic than usual. It is very late in Zaun, the atmosphere is full of noise: shouting, laughter and the constant hum of industrial machinery. Vi is in her usual place, a subway bar called “The Rusty Forge”, known for its underground fights and noisy clientele. She is drinking something cheap, with her fists clenched and her gaze lost in her glass, trying not to think about everything that torments her.
Suddenly, a small commotion develops in a corner of the bar. Someone is trying to talk to you which you don't seem to respond to. Vi, from her seat, watches curiously as the other person begins to lose patience.
The stranger seems very, very impatient with you, "Hey, I'm talking to you, I told you it's ten coins, not five! Are you listening or what? " The stranger's arrogant tone and attitude makes Vi raise an eyebrow. While you look a little uncomfortable but try to stay calm and try to explain.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you right. Could you... repeat that?" The stranger snorts, visibly annoyed, and raises his voice in an exaggerated manner. "What's in your ears, you Zaun filth! Do you or don't you want this! I don't have all day."
That's enough for Vi to intervene. She rises from her seat in her typical defiant manner, dropping a few coins on the table and walking towards them with a smirk. "Hey, genius, why don't you try talking like a person instead of a jerk? Maybe then they'll understand you."
The stranger turns to Vi, clearly irritated. "What's it to you? This has nothing to do with you."
Vi crosses her arms, leaning slightly toward the stranger. "Oh, I care because I can't enjoy my drink if there's some idiot screaming like he's missing something in his head. So why don't you beat it before we have to settle this...my way?"
The stranger grunts something unintelligible, but decides to retreat under Vi's intense gaze. Once he leaves, Vi turns to you , her tone relaxing a bit. "Are you okay? That guy looked like a complete idiot."
Although you feel the embarrassment in you, you don't hesitate to thank her and say, "Yes, thank you. Everything is fine now. It's not easy to understand people with so much noise."
៚Vi tilts her head, interested. Noticing that you seem sincere but a bit tired. She decides to stay a moment longer, it wouldn't hurt to meet new people. It's worth noting that she notices something is different about you, but doesn't mention it right away. Instead of asking questions, she prefers to let time reveal it. To her, differences are not something strange in Zaun; everyone has their quirks.
៚ So, of course Vi decides to stay a while longer to make sure they don't bother you again. In the meantime, the two of you start talking. She says, noticing how your head leans closer to listen to her, "So, what are you doing down here? This doesn't seem like the kind of place for someone..... I don't know, like you."
You chuckle softly. "What kind of place is it, just for guys with tattoos and people who yell a lot? "
Vi gives you a small smile and continues, "Kind of. And you don't yell a lot, do you? "
you reply shaking your head but amused. "No, but it sounds like you do. It's not a bad thing though. Thanks to you, I heard you running at that guy."
Vi laughs, surprised by your response. This piques her interest even more, as she didn't expect to find someone so... quiet with a sense of humor amidst the chaos of Zaun. But before you take your leave, Vi notices that you seem a little unsure of yourself in the bustling environment of the bar. On impulse, she pulls out a pair of gloves she had hanging from her belt, worn but functional, and tosses them on the table in front of you.
"Take it as advice: if someone else bothers you, give them a good whack. If you need someone to show you how to do it .... well, you know where to find me."
You're surprised but take the gloves with a grateful smile. "Thanks, but I don't think I can hit as hard as you."
Vi laughs "No one can. But you don't need to be me to defend yourself. Although, if you want to learn, give me a couple of days. I'm bored of training alone."
៚After that night, Vi decides to look for more reasons to return to “The Rusty Forge.” Not for the fights, not for the cheap booze, but for the chance to cross paths again with someone who unknowingly gave her some peace in the midst of the chaos.
៚Vi, despite being extroverted, has an empathetic side that leads her to take an interest in others. At first, she communicates with you casually, although she quickly realizes that she has to adjust her tone or repeat things so that you can understand her better. Far from becoming impatient, this awakens her protective and patient side. "Didn't you hear me? Hey, it's okay, I'll say it again. 'You, what are you doing around here at this hour? Zaun is no place to walk alone, you know.' "
Seeing that you're somewhat embarrassed by your hearing difficulty, Vi adds with a teasing but friendly smile, "Don't worry. I didn't hear when Claggor was talking to me while I was eating either . Maybe you just have high standards of attention."
This breaks the ice and makes you feel comfortable next to her.
៚Vi's first gesture, is more of actions, not words. So, Vi is not the type to try to "fix" people or ask invasive questions. Instead, she shows her interest by helping without asking. For example, if she notices that you don't hear someone shout your name, she becomes your personal interpreter, shouting back or reaching out to relay the message.
Vi says, "Look, the next time someone tries to talk to you from across Zaun, tell me. My voice can cover this whole damn town.". This starts to become a recurring joke between the two of them.
៚Vi is someone who thinks fast and acts even faster, which can sometimes be a challenge for you what sometimes you need clarity in instructions. However, this leads to the two of you developing a sort of "language of your own". Vi might come up with simple gestures for things like "watch out", "follow me", or even "knock first, ask me later". Says Vi "See this? Two fingers in the air means we have to get the hell out of here fast. Three means 'hit 'em with everything.' Easy, right?" This makes them an effective team in Zaun's dangerous situations.
៚Vi is quick to note that, although you are hard of hearing, you also have skills that impress her. Perhaps it's the way you pay attention to small details, your ability to stay calm under pressure, your critical thinking even. "You know, not many people make it down here, let alone with everything stacked against them. But you... you're something special. Either that, or you're as stubborn as I am."
៚Vi has a protective nature, and when she sees someone treating you impatiently because of your hearing difficulty, she can't help but intervene. "What part of 'speak louder' didn't you understand? Do you want me to write it down for you? No, wait, you'd better get it tattooed on your forehead." Although you could try to calm her down, Vi isn't the type to let these things go easily.
៚Vi is fiercely loyal, and that translates into total devotion to you . No matter what happens, she's willing to stand up to anyone to protect you. "If anyone dares to mess with you, you let me know. Or better yet, don't even bother; I'll already be there before they can try."
៚Vi is not someone who plans things carefully. Everything in his life happens impulsively and passionately, and asking you to be his partner would be no exception. While she may try to disguise her nerves with humor or sarcasm, her intentions are clear: she wants to take the next step because she knows how much you mean to her.
The night is less chaotic than usual. You and Vi are in one of her favorite places in Zaun: perhaps a rooftop where you can watch the twinkling lights of the city, or a quiet corner near an abandoned factory where the noise isn't so overwhelming. It's one of those rare moments when Vi lets her guard down, and you can see her as she is, without masks or barriers. Vi has been thinking about this for days. Though she's never been good with words, she knows she can't stay quiet much longer. She runs a hand through her hair, clearly nervous, as she tries to find the right way to say what she feels.
Vi breaks the silence in a manner typical of her: with a seemingly casual comment, "You know, I've been thinking...and that's dangerous, I know. But listen, because this is important."
Curiosity overcomes you and you turn to her with a smile. Vi takes a deep breath and decides to cut to the chase. "You're the only person in this damn place that makes me want to be better. And I'm not saying I want to change who I am, because, well, I'm perfect just the way I am..." He pauses for a moment, clearly joking to ease the tension. "But with you... I don't know, everything's different. Less complicated. And I think I like that too much to ignore." Vi starts to lose a little control of her usual confidence. She knows what she wants to say, but the words don't come out the way she planned in her head. "What I mean is.... well, you know. I like you. No, that's an understatement. I like you a lot. Like, a lot-a lot. And I wanted to know if... uh..."
As for you, you wait patiently, clearly enjoying watching Vi get flustered for once. Vi, frustrated with herself, folds her arms and lets out a nervous laugh. "For the love of Zaun, are you going to make me say all this by myself or what? What I want is for you to be my partner, okay? There it is. I said it. Happy? "
៚and of course you reply positively, Vi lets out a sigh of relief, and her expression immediately softens. She regains some of her usual confidence, though you can still tell how much this moment means to her. "I knew you'd say yes. Who could resist this?" she smiles with that mixture of arrogance and warmth that characterizes her. Then she leans toward you, looking at you directively.
"You know? This means we're going to be the toughest team in Zaun now. I can't wait to brag about you. Sure, don't tell anyone, but you're probably the best decision I've made in years."
៚So after that, she won't hesitate to throw herself at you, thirsty for physical contact. She won't be shy, if she wants to kiss you or touch you. She will.
៚Vi is not the type to express her love with sweet words all the time, but she has very clear ways to show you how much she cares about you, like casual touches: she always finds an excuse to touch you in a casual way, whether it's putting a hand on your shoulder or placing her arm behind your waist, or she just places her hands on your waist.
"I don't know if you know this, but I like to keep you close. So don't move too far away."
៚Vi uses humor as a way to keep the relationship light and fun.
" You know what? If one day you want to ignore me, just pretend you didn't hear me. But I warn you: I'm stubborn. I won't shut up so easily."
៚If you forget something she said because you didn't hear it, Vi always turns it into a joke to diffuse the situation. "Don't worry. Most of the things I say don't make sense anyway. But this time, listen to me carefully: I love you."
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patricia-taxxon · 6 months ago
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re: buyer's market
i latched onto it for the exact same reason as im assuming you did. as a way to process childhood sexual abuse that, quite frankly, i am only now truly confronting as an adult. id stuffed that trauma down as far as it could go and tried so damn hard to be fine for most of my life. the only way i could let myself even remotely deal with it was by consuming stuff like buyer's market and sobbing uncontrollably through the entire thing. ive soured on it heavily now that i know that sotos was convicted for possessing CSEM and that he didn't ask for permission to use the recordings but when i was a teenager i imagined him as someone who had gone through similar things as me and was trying to express his pain through that album
sotos' intentions for this album are likely very, very sinister. but i cant deny that it had an impact on me in what id argue is a positive way. it helped make me feel less alone because all of the stories being shared are real. should it have been made? ethically: no. but im glad it was? sorta. how i feel is complicated
anyway! its an interesting topic. i dont even follow you, i just was scrolling through your blog and was interested in adding to the conversation around this album. hearing you had similar experiences with it is comforting in a way. i dont think its a worthless piece of art even if its creator is a scumbag
i'm happy to have uncovered a secret group of people with extremely complicated relationships to buyer's market by peter sotos
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luffyvace · 1 year ago
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Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~
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Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!
this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man
Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?
he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥
now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕
he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️
HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍
Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away
He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P
his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.
literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)
now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣
his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗
ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.
He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌
he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭
WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR
(yes it’s canon 😞)
you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way
Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)
his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️
whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋
undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️
yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’
Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂
dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???
I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)
i love how shameless this guy is
why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿
ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗
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