#anyways time to get on the grind and figure out designs for everyone else | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wornoutmouse · 4 years ago

Note

I don’t know how to ask you this bestie 😩… But if you write incest do you mind doing one where all might’s daughter has a crush on Endeavor? And they both smash her… Feel free to make it stepcest if that’s more comfortable 🥲

DON’T BESTIE ME YOU FREAK!!!!-

Anyways, congrats on being my FIRST controversial ask. That being said, it took me a while to figure out whether or not I would write this one 🤔. Of course, this will be one of the ones I won’t be able to post on Wattpad lmao, but I’ll give it a go!

If you didn’t already read the request, I will give you the necessary warnings again.

tw: incest….. never thought this day would come, dp

Author's annual moral PSA: I would hope I wouldn't have to tell yall I don't condone this irl. This is both illegal in many states, and in all ways an abuse of power and trust. Not to mention no one should look at their family members in this way and if it has happened to you don't be ashamed of it as it is not your fault but seek help because it is dangerous in the long run. This is for pure fantasy purposes

You are not underage in this fic. I never do underaged work.

There is way too much plot in this

Your cheeks were stretched wide enough to rival your fathers’ as you ran home. Your feet bounce and your pull at your braids nervously as you look out the window of the train, the excitement you felt made you restless to get home. Your neighbors watched you as you ran by, dents caused by your shoes hitting the pavement as your quirk flowed through your pumping blood. “Dad!”

You slam your front door open and scramble through the labyrinth of your rich home. Tossing open your father’s office door unaware of how your outburst startles All Might. “Y-Yes what is it?” Papers flutter all around as you carelessly glide through Toshinori’s neatly stacked papers. You slam the slightly crumpled papers onto his desk, ignoring how the sheer strength of your hand nearly causes his cold cup of coffee to fall. “Remember how 3rd years get the chance to have the first pick in finding the company they’ll sidekick for?!”

All Might watches you with fondness in his eyes as he cleans his glasses off. He was now far in his years, a healthy 82. His hair was now less of a golden yellow and more of beige as it silvered slowly. He was still his normal towering height, retained much of his muscles, and could periodically assume his big form now that he finally had the time to rest and heal properly. “You mean the program that you talked about every day because it was free.”

You roll your eyes, “Free for me, not for you. Anyways look, look, look!” You hold the paper in his face and he takes it from you, “I see you were accepted into your first choice at-” You snatch the paper from him and hop around excitedly, “-At Endevā Jimusho And that’s not even the best part!” All Might's contempt face drops, “All sidekicks get to stay in a guest house in close quarters with Endeavor himself!!"

Joy no longer existed in Toshinori's emotional library. "Absolutely not." Your face falls and your rant halts completely. "What?" Yagi puts his glasses on and shuffles through his papers stiffly, "I do not agree on Endeavors training methods." You raise an eyebrow, "Is this coming from the man that punched Pro-Hero Dynamite and Deku into buildings during an emergency villain drill? In front of everyone?"

Yagi hides his face behind a stapled packet, "I was giving them a taste of reality, a villain does not care for a hero's well-being." You sit down on his desk, legs crossed before curling your finger over his paper, your eyes miss how AllMight briefly glances down, “Yes, but isn’t it a job as a hero to protect people, even the students they train?” Yagi craned his neck until it makes a satisfying crack, a smirk adorning his lips. “I suppose you are right.”

He thinks for a moment before silently shuffling his papers before returning his gaze to your hopeful face, “Why should I assist you with your obvious little crush on my coworker?” You clearly stiffen “Well if it will make you happy-” You don’t allow him to finish before your arms around his shoulders squeezing his neck with most of your strength.

AllMight watches you leave his room slightly disheartened, reaching into his desk drawer he pulls out his phone and dials. “What do you want?” AllMight leans back in his chair pulling at his pants to loosen the tension in his groin, “A proposition.”

The next day Yagi is driving you to your new home for the next 6 months. Your eyes glaze over with futuristic thoughts on how your stay would be. “Everything is so shiny!” Yagi shrugs as he pulls into the parking lot. Enji was always minimalistic when it came to modern designs.” Your head snaps to Toshinori’s side of the car, “His name is Enji!?” Your question is laughed off as Toshinori shuts the car off.

Although your amazement is captured solely by the prospect of working with a pro-hero, the fact that your father is a pro-hero does not go unnoticed by the people around you. “Is that AllMight!” “Should I ask for his picture?!” Even with Yagi’s shadow enveloping your body your attention hones in on the automatic glass doors in front of you.

Inside there is a crowd of students experiencing orientation and getting assigned their respective dorm and possible roommate. You take your first steps in their direction before your arm is pulled and Yagi dawns a playful grin as he presses his finger to his lips. You follow him, eyebrows furrowed “You aren’t trying to change my mind are you?” You don’t get an answer as you are dragged along.

Stairs after stair you follow your father until you come to the very top, legs throbbing but interest peaked. Yagi opens two double doors as easily as breathing and your eyes go wide as the broad shoulders of a familiar hero come into view. “You’re finally here, took you long enough.” Your heart beats in your chest, auburn hair, broad shoulders, and a stoic face that you’d only seen on television, now present in front of you. Yagi shuts the door causing you to jump, “Oh um hi!” A large hand touches your shoulder making you jump” Calm down Y/n!” A cheerful exclamation rings out from above you as Yagi transforms into his larger form.

Heavy footsteps make the room shake wherever the two men walk around the room, “I heard you wanted to meet with me.” Your demeanor goes from uneasy to panicked giggling, “O-Oh really, who told you that!’ AllMight chuckles before patting your head, why don’t you ask him all the silly questions you want, I have to use the restroom.

Endeavor leans against his desk, arms crossed allowing his muscles to bulge through his white button-up shirt. “Yagi tells me a lot of good things about you.” Endeavor stands straighter, a ballpoint pen in hand before he gestures for you to take a seat. You settle in the seat glancing towards the door before looking up at Endeavor who settles on his desk. “What’s the matter, you seem nervous?” The deepness of his tone sends a shiver down your spine. Shifting your legs closer together you clear your throat, “I’m just not used to meeting my childhood hero in person.” Endeavor laughs in a way that sounds more like a bellow, “When you say it like that I feel old!”

Your face hadn’t stopped burning since you entered the room but the joke forced a chuckle through your lips allowing you to relax just a little bit. Calculating eyes narrow, making you feel even smaller than you already did in the hero’s presence. “Now, come on. I’m sure you have something you’d always wanted to do if you met your hero.” Endeavor’s happy-go-lucky attitude catches you off guard as it juxtaposes the hardened persona he had cultivated over the years. “Well, I suppose a picture would be a start if you don’t mind?”

Seconds later you somehow find yourself in Endeavor's lap as he holds the camera up for a picture. His body is unpainted hot but you assume that was simply just a side effect of his quirk. “Um, are you sure you’re okay with this?” Endeavor hums in acceptance. A heavy arm loops around your waist pulling you closer, close enough to become aware of a problem pressed gently against your ass. “Oh!” Endeavor’s fingers slipped pressing the capture button, “What’s wrong did I do it wrong?” You shake your head becoming embarrassed for the both of you, “Nothing!” Enji’s voice lowers into a mumble that reverberated against the back of your neck, “Good.”

Enji straightens his arm once more to retake the picture and you awkwardly smile into the camera, grin becoming strained when he had yet to snap the photo. You shuffle the slightest bit to get a more comfortable position and a guttural groan is released from Enji’s lips. "Are you alright, Endeavor?" Your question is ignored and your phone is put down on the table. Large hands contrasting unbridled power is your stomach delicately as though you were made of porcelain. "Are you sure there is nothing else you'd like to do with your hero?"

Endeavors face nudges away your braids allowing him to press his heated mouth against your skin. "Nothing that would help you get to know them better?" You don't get to respond, your body is hoisted around to face Endeavor. Why nervousness clearly painting itself on your features before being overcome with confused pleasure as Endeavor pressed his lips against your own.

You moan against his lips, hips grinding against each other, the thought of where you are slipped past your mind and to your pussy. Endeavors hands down your body, pinching and pulling before sighing with his calloused fingernails. You couldn't believe this was happening, you feel your pants being pulled off. Just yesterday you believed that you would only be able to meet your hero in passing. Your bra is on the floor and your pussy weeps against his slacks.

The motions are fast-paced and you feel his thumb pressing against your clit. “Yes!” Endeavor kisses your lips, his stubble scratching your cheeks slightly as his tongue explores your mouth. Confidence floods your body as you hop off of Endeavor's lap and quickly undo the buttons of his slacks, he watches you out of breath in the best way.

Thick in your hands, the veins twitch to the tune of his blood. The clear stickiness of pre-cum coats the underside and you use it to stroke his length. "Please fuck me Endeavor!" You look up at him, face contorted with desperate thoughts as you angle your body towards his cock, the tip of it rubbing against your folds. You were wet, so wet making the fuchsia tip of his cock feel more engorged.

"Don't regret this. "You’re pulled back into his lap with ease, pussy trembling from the display of strength. With Endeavor holding your weight and your hand positioning his length below you, the slide down was easy as it could be. Your legs wrap around his waist as you adjust to him. “We have to be quick.” Endeavor rolls your hips when your breathing becomes even again, “We have all the time in the world.” You smirk trailing your finger up Enji’s chest, “What, you have a thing for getting caught?”

Your cheeks are spread apart by Endeavor’s fingers as he hooks one into the small slit left remaining in your pussy. “Something like that.” From behind you the sound of the door shutting makes your neck quickly craned around to look back. Standing with his arms behind his back and an unreadable expression stood Yagi, “Am I missing the party?” Ashamed excuses leave your mouth, tearful and panicked you squeal when Endeavor raises your hips before sliding you down his cock. “No, you are just in time.”

Yagi slowly removes the suit he wore, shrugging off his suit jacket as the sound of your muffled whimpers filter through his ears. You hide your face, curling into Endeavor’s form but a hand stops you, gripping your face, “Don’t be shy, it was his idea after all.” AllMight chuckled, “Yeah, it took a lot of convincing on my part.”Long fingers wrapped around the base of your skull where your braids connect before yanking your head back.

Toshinori looked down at you, face stoic and mockingly disappointed, "I thought it would take a lot more convincing but look at you. " Yagi dragged the back of his hand around your jaw and down your chest ripping the fabric with ease. Your tits bounced on every thrust that Endeavor continued to make, wordless moans and drool leaving your moan as your pussy clenched around the cock inside you.

"Such a little whore for him aren't you?" You shake your head in protest before your eyes widen as chapped but soft lips are placed over yours. He was kissing you, your brain short circuits as his tongue forces its way past your lips. It's wrong, you know that. Hell, this whole situation is wrong. You should be downstairs with the others doing orientation, not upstairs riding the cock of a pro-hero and french kissing the other. You knew it was wrong, but why did it feel so good?

Endeavor groans at how sloppy you were becoming. The sound of your pussy squelching as cream gathered around Endeavor's cock before being pushed back inside of you. "So both of you are twisted in the head." A large thumb presses down on your clit making your pussy spasm as you cum from the heightened stimulation. Endeavor keeps thrusting, his libido unmatched and energy pent up.

Yagi reaches in between the two of you pressing his palm against your pussy as his fingertips graze Enji’s dick on every upstroke. “Are you getting wetter sweetheart? He feels so good doesn't he?" Your mouth is agape and your weak hands Endeavor's shoulder is the only thing keeping you upright when your eyes roll back. "Y-Yes daddy!" Yagi wheezes before he's fiddling with his suit pants and pulling you back by your hair.

It was a strange display of balance on your end. Endeavor’s arms hold your legs tightly in order to keep you on his lap and on his cock meanwhile you are as your father slaps his hardened cock against your cheek, splashing his precum onto your chin. "I got you this far dear, why don't you return the favor?"

Whether it was diluted senses or your subconscious coming forward, you open your mouth for him, moaning as he invades every crevice of your jaw. Your throat constricts and you retch around the warm heat. Yagi is unapologetic and downright brutal as he pulls back before bringing his hips forward again.

The two men's moans empty into the office room and your garbled cooking is ignored as they both have their fill, leaving you to wonder if this really was for you. Numbness invaded your senses as you come again on Endeavor's cock with him not that far behind as he blows his load into your pussy. "It's been a while I will admit." Endeavor slaps your pussy once, then twice just to feel you squeeze down on him every time your hips jerked.

Tears and drool running down your face the faster your father fucks your throat and you knew you'd be sore the next day. "My turn." All Might pulls out and walks away not even showing you a glance as you choke from the lack of oxygen. Enji helps you sit up and wipes your face before Toshinori is pulling you away from Endeavor showing no care that his cock was still in you. He sits down and pulls you onto his own lap ignoring your dazed look as your brain struggles with the various changes of attitude.

"You gotta thank daddy for helping you meet your hero, don't you think?” His hand cups your round cheeks before the other slams down on the other one. Overestimated tears tremble down your brown skin as you hiccup, "Yes daddy." You rock against his cock, both your saliva and his own precum staining your stomach and public hair.

He fills you, even better than Endeavor did, and begins his onslaught of thrusts. You scream, the sound no doubt traveling outside the room, "Daddy please fuck me!!!" The speed at which you were moving was one that could only be done by a hero and it was more pain than pleasure. The constant pounding of your cervix makes your teeth clench together each time his mushroom head punches it.

"Yes, give daddy this sloppy pussy, squeeze down for me-oh fuck!" Lewd words you never even believed Yagi was capable of saying leave his lips. Your shoulder is bit by the redheaded man behind you as he cups your breasts together, tugging on your nipple before rubbing the nubbed patterns on your areolas. "I can't take it any more daddy please!" Your arms wrap around his shoulders as he causes your pussy to queen and cream, balls slapping the underside of your ass, sticky with Endeavor’s cum.

"This is what you raised Yagi? A little whore?" Yagi chuckles, "I'm just as surprised as you are Enji, say why don't you join? You aren't one and done are you?" Endeavor scoffs, you wish that upon me don't you?"

Your mind, altered with lust, does not understand the hidden meaning behind the word "join" but you soon realize it when fat fingers are pushing their way in the same hole Toshinori occupied. "E-Endeavor?" You're shushed as his fingers pump inside you with Yagi’s cock, curling and prodding your walls at every turn. You feel fuller than you ever thought you could and the pressure only continued.

"Look at my pretty little girl taking her daddy's cock, so fucking tight for me. Can you do this for Endeavor too? Fit both our fat cocks in your hero guzzling hole?" You nod at the degradation and feel the warmth from Endeavor envelope your back. His tip massages the stretched opening as Yagi stops thrusting for a moment.

There is silence, and then there is pain. You hardly feel the initial penetration of Enji’s cock, but you do feel it when Yagi tries to move again. You can hardly breathe between the sandwich the 3 of you created and your comfort is practically ignored as they both begin to move at opposite tempos. “O-oh god!” With your eyes screwed shut and mouth agape the two men grunt against your ears.

Your g-spot and cervix are both pushed against as their thrusts become more impersonal. Endeavor grabs your arms from around Yagi’s neck before pulling them behind your back. Your legs tremble uselessly around Toshinori’s thighs. His breath huffing the more he exerted himself steam easily slipping from his lips the faster he went. “I’m gonna cum!” Endeavor grunts, pistoning out of you even faster than he was before. A hand rests on his shoulder and he’s shoved back making you whimper from the partial emptiness. “Not inside bastard.”

Yagi becomes his gental self again as his still hard cock slips from your entrance. He places you on the ground giving you time to prop yourself up before grabiing his dick and stroking it infront of your face. You are to fucked out to do anything but present yourself as a pretty little canvas as his cum paints your face. You lick the small drops painting your chin before flashing a coy smile, “Thank you Daddy!”

#tw: inc*st #endeavor smut #all might smut #endeavor x all might x reader #mha smut #problimatic works #mha x black reader

677 notes · View notes

omivel · 2 years ago

Text

The Alchemist

I’ve been making little design posts about the classes within Fantastic Adventures of Sorcery and Prowess on my patreon. Here’s the post I have on the Alchemist class:

A longstanding problem I've had while playing DnD (especially third edition and pathfinder 1e) is how spell preparation often grinds the game to a halt. Which is a shame because it can be quite fun to be the person preparing your big spell list in anticipation for your next adventure! Trying to figure out what challenges you will face and selecting the correct tools for the job is exactly the sort of fantasy I want to be fulfilling for the Intelligence based classes.

But for the rest of the players it becomes disengaging, the wizard is off playing solitaire while everyone else twiddles their thumbs or tries to come up with anything to fill out the time. Now by and large I have tried to eliminate this sort of thing from the game entirely, however I still wanted a few dedicated prep based classes as prep is fun. One of which is the Alchemist

Now the alchemist solves the problem of the other players disengaging very simply by making it so the "spells" they are prepping are things that the other players get direct access to. Any character can hold onto and utilize an alchemist potion, and due to limited inventory space the alchemist is highly encouraged to spread out their goodies to the other players.

Now to further facilitate this I have also done two other things. The first is that the list of academical potions is relatively short and all alchemists get access to all the potions. As opposed to each alchemist only having access to a highly unique list of potions. This means all the players can clearly understand what their options are as far as what goodies they might ask their alchemist to acquire for them. Less things for the non alchemists to keep track of the more they can engage with what's going on.

Additionally I made a little mini game out of crafting the potions. Alchemists must roll element die and then MUST use those dice to craft potions. This forces them to make tough decisions on what potions they should craft with what they have available. But besides being an interesting puzzle for the Alchemist it also forces them to craft potions they might not of otherwise chosen too, which then makes them ask who could best make use of these potions I don't particularly wan't myself.

Anyway that's my little rant on the Alchemist hope y'all can enjoy crafting your little potions as much as I did while play testing this.

#FAsp #Fantastic Adventures of Sorcery and Prowess #ttrpg design

3 notes · View notes

babyjamiebarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Build-A-Bear

Part Eleven

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Steve, Sam, Peter, OC background characters

Warnings: language, sexual implications and references, blackmail

Summary: Bucky decides it’s time to come clean to Tony, consequences be damned. Steve has his own bombshell, of sorts.

Author’s Note: Hi. I’m a lazy piece of crud. I wanted to post this earlier but I suck. It’s kinda short too, at least compared to previous parts. There will probably only be a couple parts left, maybe 2-3? I’m posting these chapters as I write so tbd in length lol. And as always, feel free to buy me a coffee!

Tags: @amourmarvel @fangirlvoice @kennedywxlsh @devilswaldorf @what-the-hap-is-fuckning @alyispunk @fredweasleysbitchh @wearegroot @sunflowerbebe107 @prestigious-tea @brckenmemories @angelbabymed @charmedbysarge @cruelsummer-s

Series Masterlist

“Are you fucking insane?”

Everyone moved back to your apartment to avoid freaking poor Matt out any more. And now there was a standoff in your living room.

“It’s the only course of action that makes sense,” Bucky said in his defense.

“Buck, her dad will skin you alive if he sees those pictures,” Sam said. “Even if he’s somehow fine with it, she’ll lose her job!”

“If we don’t do this, that kid downstairs loses his family!” Bucky shouted back.

Sam groaned in exasperation and ran his hands over his face. “There’s gotta be a way to get the money.”

“There’s not,” you said defeatedly. All eyes turn to you. They initially looked to you for guidance, but your reliance on Bucky gave him the wheel on your own personal highway to hell. “Even if we do give this person the money, there’s only one person we can get that kind of cash from. Bucky’s right. We have to tell my dad.”

“[Y/N], maybe we should brainstorm some other options,” Peter nearly whispered, keeping his voice soft in the midst of the chaos. “I don’t want you to lose your job.”

“I’ll quit,” Bucky said suddenly. “I’ll quit being an Avenger and just do, fuck, private security? Or something.”

You could see the stress and fear and frustration written on his face. In a couple steps, you were standing in front of him and were able to cup his scruffy cheeks as you spoke.

“We’ll figure all that out later.” You perked up on your toes and gave him a short kiss. “But right now, we’re on a bit of a time crunch. I’d like to end this sooner rather than later so… let’s tell Tony.”

With Peter willingly sitting in the open trunk area of the Jeep, everyone was able to fit in one car back to the Tower. The tension inside the vehicle could’ve been cut, sliced, and diced with a knife. No one wanted to say anything, but no one really knew what to say anyway.

Steve was still silent. He didn’t say a word when you discussed telling Tony, but you could practically see the gears turning in his head. He had something to say, he just wasn’t saying it.

By the time you got to the Tower, you felt like you were gonna throw up. You held the envelope with the letter and media tight in your grasp, only letting go to open your door. The second your feet touched the garage floor, Bucky was right beside you.

He kept a firm grip on your hand, squeezing a little extra so you knew he was there with you and wasn’t going to let anything bad (worse) happen. Knowing he was willing to risk his entire livelihood for you made you love him even more. But you knew if it came down to it, you’d give up your position with the Avengers. Even with only two years spent at Stark Industries — just under a year spent with the Avengers (and nearly a year with Bucky) — you’d have no problem getting a new job with any other company. Bucky’s skills were put to the best use saving the world.

As the elevator approached the floor with your dad’s office, Sam finally broke the silence.

“Do you want us to be in there with you? I’m thinking it might be better if it’s just you two.”

You turned to see Peter wringing his hands, subconsciously agreeing with Sam — he clearly didn’t want to be in the room when all this went down but was putting on a brave face to be a good support system. Steve still stood silent with his arms crossed over his chest. Whatever was going on in that head was still festering.

“I think you’re right,” you agreed with Sam. “We’ll come find you once he gets the news.”

Your eyes met Bucky’s and even though he was trying to remain confident for you, there was fear behind those baby blues.

“We’ll be okay,” you said just loudly enough for him to hear.

When you reached the floor you’d been dreading, Sam, Steve, and Peter all turned to go to their designated rooms, partially because it had been a while since all of them had been back, partially to stay far away from the impending outburst.

You took a deep breath and started toward Tony’s office, just to be pulled back into Bucky’s arms. He held you tight, nuzzling his face in your hair and just holding you. You gripped the back of his shirt in response and just took a moment to appreciate the hard muscles of his chest and the weight of his arms around you.

“We’re gonna be okay,” you whispered.

Bucky let out a breath and kissed the crown of your head.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

This made you pull back and look up at him.

“Lose me? Bucky, I’m not going to let this affect us. No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. I love you too much, Bucky Bear.”

The affectionate nickname made him smile, even if it was just a little quirk of the lips.

“I love you too, Build-A-Bear.”

You let him hold you for a couple more minutes before leading him to your dad’s closed office door. When you slowly pushed the door open, you saw Tony sitting behind his desk with half a dozen holographic screens open in front of him.

“Hey pumpkin, what are you doing here?” he asked, barely taking his eyes off his work for a second.

“Um, I kind of really need to talk to you.” Despite being on close speaking terms with your dad — the kind where you felt comfortable swearing in front of him and joking with him, even sharing some of your secrets — you felt like this was crossing a line.

Of course it was. You were in bed with (his perception of) the enemy.

Tony could tell something was wrong by how timid you sounded. You were always loud and bubbly with him — a quality you definitely got from him. He swiped all of the screens closed and walked around the large desk to stand in front of you. He briefly met Bucky’s eyes as the super soldier stood close behind you.

“What’s going on?”

“You-you should probably sit down for this,” you said shakily. Tony took the seat nearest you instead of walking back behind his desk. “So… you know how I’ve been dating James for, like, 10, 11ish months now?”

“And I still haven’t met him?” Tony said with a quirked brow.

“Yeah.” You forced a chuckle. “Well, when we were going through mail this morning, I… I got this.”

You held up the envelope before sliding out the letter and handing it to your dad. His expression went from curious to furious in seconds as his eyes scanned the entire page.

“They sent pictures. Pictures taken through my apartment windows of me and James. Being… intimate.”

“James who?” your dad asked, still staring at the letter. When you didn’t reply, he looked you in the eye, his expression hard as he demanded, “[Y/N], what is James’s last name?”

You took a short breath, the most your anxiety-gripped lungs could handle, and avoided his gaze as you replied.

“Barnes.”

Tony shot up from his seat, his eyes moving from you to the man behind you. The familiar feeling of a metal hand on your lower back helped ease the anxiety coursing through you at your dad’s reaction. When Tony took a step toward Bucky, you countered with a panicked step between them, looking up at your dad and pleading.

“He didn’t know who I was.”

“Bullshit,” Tony spat. He and Bucky were glaring at each other over your head.

“He didn’t, I swear. He found out the same day everyone else did.”

The grinding of his teeth let you know he was seething. But trying to hold it together for now.

“Let me see the rest,” Tony said calmly, holding his hand out. You reluctantly dropped the photos and DVD into his open palm. Bucky didn’t want to get too affectionate, so he just rested his hand on your hip while Tony flipped through the photos.

Everything was back in order, so he went through the same sequence you did: pap photos, to apartment photos, to sex photos. You could tell when the pictures turned raunchy by the way Tony’s face contorted, tossing the photos down shortly after.

“Friday, play the disc,” he commanded. The video played against the only blank wall in the room, the audio of you and Bucky playing through the speakers.

“Dad, you really don’t need to —” you started, quickly stopped by a sharp glare from your father.

“What are you gonna do to me?”

“I’m gonna put a baby in you. I’m gonna cum inside this tight pussy until you can’t take it anymore.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tony nearly growled. “Friday, shut it off.”

“I tried to tell you,” you murmured under breath, though not loud enough for him to hear. Bucky did hear it though, evident by the way he squeezed your hip.

Tony leaned forward against his desk, hanging his head in clear frustration. You knew better than to speak up while he contained his emotions, so you stood in silence with Bucky as your dad sighed heavily and spoke to himself under his breath.

“You just have something against me, don’t you?” Tony said accusingly to Bucky.

“Don’t do that,” you scoffed. “You don’t get to do that. If you’re going to get mad at anyone, it needs to be me.” You never got snappy with your dad, but everything weighing on your shoulders frayed your nerves and his attitude didn’t do anything to fix it. “I’m the one who knew full well what we were doing. I’m the one who had all the details. I’m the one who chose to risk everything for this from the start. So if you’re really that mad, take it out on me. Otherwise, help us. We’ll get to the semantics and firing and all that bullshit later. Right now, there are literal lives on the line.”

Tony was still fuming until he heard the last line.

“What do you means ‘lives on the line’?”

Bringing Steve, Sam, and Peter in helped all of you explain what happened, from the note you received to the first viewing of the photos and video to the confrontation with Matt, but not without Tony grilling all of them about when and how they found out about you and Bucky. Peter looked nervous about keeping a secret from his boss, but you knew your dad wouldn’t do anything too bad to the kid. Maybe kick him off a couple missions, but nothing noteworthy. Steve and Sam looked like they really couldn’t care less, especially since Sam was the last to know.

Despite still wanting to rip Bucky’s arm off and beat him with it, Tony remained civil for your sake, at least until all of this was sorted.

The first step was getting Peter, Happy, and Pepper to try to track down where the letters came from, which likely meant scanning for fingerprints (despite how many hands held it that day alone). The second step was for you, Bucky, Tony, Sam, and Steve to scope out your building and any neighboring buildings someone may have been scoping your apartment from. There was no one someone could’ve been dangling outside your windows without you noticing. The third step was meeting with your doorman again to try to piece together some answers.

You all agreed to keep local law enforcement out of it so the culprit didn’t catch on as quickly. Having a few Avengers and Tony Stark show up at Tony’s daughter’s apartment wasn’t out of the ordinary so you could still stay under wraps. There was no reason to draw attention to your place and possibly trigger the mystery person into accelerating their plans.

With your dad’s confidence in the plan, you gradually grew more and more optimistic about the plan. If all else failed, Tony would get the two million and continue tracking the fucker down. It wouldn’t be hard to sneak a tracker into the cash and watch where it goes once it’s out of your hands. That’s when you could bring in local law enforcement.

It felt like things were finally going your way.

As you and your crew headed downstairs to drive back to your place, Steve grabbed your arm and tugged you to the side.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked quietly.

You nodded and followed him down the hall; Bucky was busy talking to Sam and Tony was on the phone briefing Rhodey so he could stand guard outside your doorman’s place for a while, giving you the perfect opportunity to step away for a minute. When Steve pulled you into a side room, you finally spoke up.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

Steve crossed his arms and huffed. That signature frown of his softened when he met your concerned gaze.

“I know we’re not necessarily close, but I consider you a friend. You know that, right?”

“I consider you a friend too,” you said with a nod.

“What I’m about to say... I need you to keep it between us. Don’t tell Bucky or Sam or Peter or your dad. Just between us, at least for now. Okay?”

“O-okay...? You’re making me nervous, Steve,” you admitted. “What’s going on?”

“I think I know who’s blackmailing you.”

#SORRY IT’S SUCKY AND SHORT #I’M THE WORST #bucky x reader #bucky x stark!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #bucky barnes series

167 notes · View notes

bxngchxn · 4 years ago

Text

mr. big shot || s. changbin

characters: seo changbin + female reader

words: 3.2k

genre: smut, some fluff, angst if you squint

warnings: dom!Changbin, brat!reader, slight degradation, orgasm denial, oral (both parties giving + receiving), unprotected penitrative sex (use protection always!), general hard dom themes, Changbin is kinda conceited at first but it’ll be ok don’t worry

This is a piece of fiction and is not suitable for anyone UNDER THE AGE OF 18.

summary: You run into the hot shot producer on campus at a frat party, who seems to take a liking to you, the only person who doesn’t care.

You don’t even like frat parties.

The LED lights that are somehow always a dark blue, the more than slightly used furniture that has no doubt been passed down a generation or two, not to mention the obnoxious antics of drunk, stressed college kids? Not your thing. In fact, the only reason why you were here was because of your roommate Rose, who had her eye on Bang Chan, a member of the frat who’s kitchen you were currently sitting in. By yourself, with a drink in hand. It isn’t even good alcohol, either; just some sad excuse of an Amaretto Sour that was not even giving you a nice buzz.

It’s around midnight at this point, and the party is in full swing. Couches in the living room were pushed against the walls to ensure ample room for dancing, sweaty bodies clinging to each other and grinding to the beat playing out of the speakers set up in the main room. You look around the room and you see a few people you recognize from your classes, but most remain unfamiliar to you.

ADK (Alpha Delta Kappa) was one of, if not the biggest (and most popular) frat on campus. Their parties were always crowded, mixing top 40s hits with some original music that the music production majors of the house compose themselves. The parties almost always ended up lasting until sunrise, and you can only take pity on their neighbors, who have to deal with the noise so late into the night.

You, however, had no intention for staying that long. Getting annoyed, you pushed your way through the sea of people in search of Rose, to let her know you were going home. As you walk through the crowd, finally spotting your roommate and heading her way, someone grabs you by the arm and spins you around to face them.

“Can I help you?” you ask, attitude through the roof as if someone thought they could just grab you like that. “Well, you sure seem to be in a hurry. I’m just trying to keep you company,” the man says with a charming (read: aggravating) smile. You look up at him in annoyance and also confusion. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen this guy in your life.

He looked to be one of those snobby rich kids; his hair dyed silver and styled oh-so-perfectly, complemented by a button down that you could clearly tell was designer. His shoulders were broad, and his skin a glowing tan that actually would’ve made him look like the sun itself, if his smile wasn’t so kniving.

“I’m..sorry, do I know you?” You ask, and his expression goes from smug to shocked in under three seconds.

“You don’t know who I am?” He asks, unconvinced. You couldn’t believe the arrogance coming from this guy. Who even is he?

“Yeah, I have no idea who you are. Sorry, maybe you mistook me for someone else.” you say. You try to leave, but his grip is still on your wrist, and you’re forced to turn back round. Wanting nothing more than to clock the man standing in front of you, you huff and give him a piercing glare. “Let go of me,” you insist.

He smirks and let’s go of your wrist, but for some reason the look he’s giving you makes you freeze on the spot. “My name is Changbin. Give me one dance sweetheart, that’s all I’m asking,” he says, his eyes never leaving yours.

Changbin...you were racking your brain trying to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to you. And then it hit you.

Seo Changbin is a member of AKD, and a friend of Chan’s. You figured he must be the Spear B that everyone on campus raves about, and now you know where his cocky demeanor is coming from. Girls and guys alike fall for all 3 members of 3racha. You had never met Changbin before, so it was no surprise you didn’t recognize him right away. Up until now, he was almost like a piece of folklore; everyone had a story about him but you were pretty sure he didn’t exist.

This would be a bad idea. Giving into him. You knew it would be. But regardless, he was attractive, and it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun every once in a while, right?

He watched your resolve slowly crumble as he stuck out his hand. Taking it, he pulls you onto the dance floor (well...the spot of the living room that was turned into one anyway) and doesn’t hesitate to turn you around, feeling your back come into contact with his broad chest.

There’s an upbeat pop song playing through the DJ speakers, and you start to sway your hips along to the beat while trying to distract yourself from the arousal that's starting to creep in as you feel Changbin’s arms snake around your waist, pushing your hips against his. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you say, remembering that you hadn’t even told him your name.

You can feel his breath ghosting against your neck as he brings his mouth to your ear. “So, Y/N,” he asks, “you really didn’t recognize me did you?” he asked, the feign hurt in his tone making you roll your eyes. “You know, you’re not all that special Mr. Big Shot,” you say, chuckling under your breath.

“Hmm and how can you say that? This is the first time we’ve met, doll. Can’t think you’d know everything about me just yet.” he says, and the use of the nickname sets you on fire. His hips have started moving to match your own, and you would be lying if the pressure you were starting to feel on your lower back didn’t spur you on to tease him a little, moving your hips away from him now and again only to have him pull you right back, turning you around to face him this time.

“Aaanddd where do you think you’re going?” He laughs, and you roll your eyes at him. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?” you say as you start moving your hips again.

“Better lose the attitude baby, it’s gonna get you in trouble if you’re not careful,” he says, his eyes darkening as you wind your arms around his neck. “Will it now? No offense, but I don’t think you’ll be able to do much damage,” you say, although you can feel yourself breaking already as you have less than innocent thoughts running through your mind.

“Is that a challenge I hear?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at your antics. “Does it sound like one?” you snap back, anticipating his next move.

Before you know it, Changbin’s lips are on your neck, his grip tightening on your waist exponentially. “Just remember: you asked for it.” he says against your ear as he pulls you from the living room and down the hallway of the AKD house.

Once Changbin has you in his room, door locked, it’s game on. He immediately pushes you against the bedroom door and begins his attack on your neck once again. You want to keep your composure; make him think that you’re not that easy to break, wanting to make him work for it, but the way he moves his lips up your neck and finally to your lips is already making you want to surrender and let him have his way with you. He bites your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you immediately grant him. Kissing Changbin was different. It was red hot and every movement was making the knot of excitement in your stomach tighten.

His hands slip under your shirt, and the feeling of them on your bare skin has you letting out the tiniest whimper. He pulls away from your lips with a smirk. “There it is..I know you’re starting to break baby, why don’t you just be good for me and do as you’re told, huh?” He teases, lifting your shirt up to touch more of your skin. “Not a chance,” you tell him, although your voice is already sounding breathy. You move to touch him over his jeans, his cock already hard.

Changbin groans quietly and moves to grip your hair. He pulls your head back harshly, and laughs at the expression of pleasure on your face. “All I had to do was use a little force and you’re putty in my hands, baby.. I knew it. You like being bossed around don’t you?” He says, fingers moving under your skirt. “Answer me, slut.” He says, pulling your hair once more for good measure. “Yes sir,” you gasp, feeling every ounce of brat you had in you leaving your body.

“That’s more like it,” he says, releasing your hair. “On your knees,” he orders, pushing your shoulders downward.

You immediately oblige, looking up at him with wide eyes as you undo his belt and pop the button of his jeans. Pulling his cock out from his underwear, you’re pleased with what you see. Changbin is surprisingly well endowed; long and rather thick, and you can’t help but imagine what he’ll feel like in your mouth.

Grabbing the base of his cock, you give kitten licks to the head, pink and enticing. You hear Changbin groan and you make eye contact with him. “Stop teasing doll, you won’t like the outcome,” he growls, and that’s enough for you to take him as far into your mouth as you can, tip hitting the back of your throat.

You make sure to run your tongue along the underside of his cock, tracing the vein and making sure he feels you on every inch of him. You start off a steady pace, Changbin’s fingers pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You suddenly relax your throat and take all of him, gagging slightly as he slides down your throat. “Jesus Christ,” the man says as he feels your throat around him. “You’re so good at this,” he says breathily and the praise spurs you to continue.

Before you even get the chance, Changbin is setting the pace, fucking into your throat. Tears stream down your face at the roughness of it all, but the moan you let out around his dick lets Changbin know that you’re doing just fine.

Pulling you off of his cock, he sighs. “As much as I would love to cum down that pretty throat of yours, doll, I have other plans.” He says, picking you up and immediately making his way to his bed, laying you down on the soft pillows rather roughly. He’s over you in an instant, taking your shirt off as well as his own, and letting his eyes roam over your chest and the pretty pink lace that adorns you.

“Hm, pink. It’s cute.” he says quietly and you blush, the compliment soft in contrast to the situation. You take a second to admire him, and it was just what you had imagined. Tan skin, muscles flexing as he’s moving over you. He lets his lips wander your collarbone, taking the skin into his mouth and sucking a dark purple spot that will definitely leave you thinking about him for days to come.

Taking one of your breasts in his hand, he enjoys the feeling of the lace under his hands. You arch your back slightly as he takes the nipple in between his fingers, twisting and pulling until it’s hard. He does the same to the other, and you almost want to start begging. It seems like he can read your mind as he moves you to sit up so he can take your bra off for you. He gets it in one try, and you’re not surprised. Once the piece of fabric is removed he replaces his fingers with his mouth, circling his tongue around your nipple and biting on it teasingly.

His kisses start trailing down your abdomen, sucking random marks into your skin that you know will end up bruising. You buck your hips up instinctively, silently begging for him to just touch you. Placing a hand on your stomach to hold your hips down, Changbin settles in between your legs, leaving kisses on your inner thighs as he pushes your skirt up.

“Changbin,” you breathe, hoping he’ll just get the hint. “Yes, doll? What is it?” he says, opting to just take your skirt off, revealing the matching panties underneath. You lay there, refusing to beg and trying to hold onto whatever resolve you had left. “I won’t know what you want unless you use your words, baby. Come on,” he says, continuing the kisses on your thighs, fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear. Huffing, you finally give in.

“Please Changbin, I need you” you begin to beg, and he looks up at you. The look on his face set your insides on fire, you don’t even mind the embarrassment you feel in the pit of your stomach as you beg for him.

“You need me? Need me where, baby? Here?” he says, his lips moving closer to your core but not where you truly want them. “Need your tongue on my clit. Please,” you ask quietly and he finally pulls your panties down, throwing them somewhere. “I don’t know doll, doesn’t sound like you really want it,” he chuckles, and your cheeks go red as you realize just what he wants to hear.

“Please Changbin, I need your tongue so bad. I promise I will be so good..just..just please,” you basically whine the latter half of the sentence, hoping it’ll get your point across.

“Now, was that so bad?” He says and finally licks a stripe up your clit, you moan out loud at the sensation, finally getting what you want.

Changbin is relentless, lips and tongue moving in a way that you have never experienced before. Switching from flat licks against your heat to small kitten licks against your clit. You can feel the knot in your core tighten impossibly tight, and you almost can’t take it anymore.

Changbin knows your close, and pulls away from your pussy. His lips are glistening and he looks up at you with a smile when he hears you whine. “Please Changbin don’t st-stop,” you say, feeling sad as your high ebbs away slowly. “Mm I don’t know if you deserve it, you need to be punished for how bratty you were acting earlier..you realize that acting up means punishments, don’t you doll?” He says, fingers tracing patterns into your thighs, moving closer to your core to tease you even further.

“Yes sir I understand.” You say, just hoping that he’ll eventually give you what you want.

“Good. Now, you’re not allowed to come until I tell you to. Understood?” He says, moving back to your clit. “I understand sir,” you say, throwing your head back as his tongue finally comes into contact with your core again.

Changbin edges you two, maybe three more times after that. Honestly, you stopped counting, just trying to focus on every ounce of pleasure that he’s giving you. It was truly torture. The only thoughts in your head were him, him, him, and you knew he was set on making sure that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

At this point he already has two fingers inside of you, and you’re sure you’re going to explode until Changbin slows his ministrations at the last moment, edging you for the fourth time. He trails his fingers to your mouth. “Open,” he says and you immediately comply, cleaning his fingers off and sucking on them once for good measure.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asks, taking his jeans and underwear off, leaving the both of you completely naked. You nod your head furiously. “What’s your color doll? I need to make sure you’re okay with this,” he says as he runs the head of his cock through your folds.

“Green, Sir fuck, just plea-” your sentence is cut off with a moan as Changbin finally pushes himself into you, going slowly to let you adjust. Once he’s bottomed out he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Once the slight sting of the stretch has dissipated, the fire igniting in you grows stronger and you move your hips, signaling to him that you’re okay.

Changbin pulls all the way out and slams back in, your eyes rolling into the back of your head almost instantly. The drag of his cock against your walls is enough to have you seeing stars, finally satiating all of your desires. He sets a rough and steady pace, and it’s hard to keep yourself together. The room is filled with a mix of sounds; skin slapping against each other, your breathy whines and a grunt from Changbin every so often.

“Look at you doll, taking me so well. You were really made for my cock weren’t you? All mine to ruin and destroy.” he says in your ear, one hand going around your throat and applying slight pressure. It’s bringing you closer to the edge and Changbin knows it, snaking his free hand down to your body to rub harsh circles on your clit. “Go ahead baby, cum for me, let the whole house know who’s making you feel this good” He says as his pace quickens.

His permission was all you needed, the knot coiling tight and finally breaking. Your vision goes white, and your legs are shaking as your orgasm finally washes over you, stronger than ever due to the four denied orgasms you’ve already had tonight.

“Oh my god, Changbin,” you repeat over and over, riding out your high as he continues his rough pace. He was getting close too, the feeling of you contracting around his cock bringing him to the edge. He pulls out and flips you around, helping you get to your hands and knees before he inserts himself in you once again, the new position letting him fuck you harder than before.

“I’m almost there baby, you think you can cum for me one more time?” he says with a grunt. You’re still sensitive from your first orgasm and you can definitely feel a second one approaching, babbling nonsense as Changbin starts to lose control. His thrusts become more erratic, and his hand is around your throat again, pulling you close to him as he fucks you into the mattress.

Your second orgasm washes over you and the only thing you know how to say is his name. The feeling of your own orgasm finally pushes him over the edge too, groaning as he spills into you and helps you both ride out your highs. Once you’ve calmed down he pulls out of you, and you both fall to the mattress.

Changbin pulls you into his arms, bringing your back against his chest, just how it was when you first met him earlier in the night.

“That, was…” you say, “Amazing.” Changbin finishes your sentence for you and it makes you giggle. Snuggling into you a little closer, you hear him laugh under his breath.

“I know this is a little backwards, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you to dinner tomorrow,” he says hesitantly.

You turn around in his hold and place a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I..would love that, Changbin.” you say right before you succumb to the desire to sleep. The last thing you remember is a kiss on your forehead.

Your dreams seem to be filled with him, and when you wake up the next morning, seeing him bathed in the soft morning light, you feel content for the first time in a long time. And you welcome the change.

Maybe Seo Changbin is all that special, and then some.

taglist: @dom--minnie @sparklemin @minholuvs @hanflix @mochinnie @moonlit-lixie @formidxble @chaangbin @jisungiesbunnie @es-kay-zee @jinned

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #changbin smut #bxngchxn fics #binnie #changbin scenarios

157 notes · View notes

eddieeatsass · 4 years ago

Text

On the Edge of an Avalanche

Summary: Graduation was upon them and Eddie Kaspbrak was eager to leave Derry behind. His one last hurrah would be the senior ski trip, earning him an escape from his mother and the looming stress of college admissions. It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation, until he got slated to look after resident pain-in-everyone’s-ass, Richie Tozier. Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak Rating: E Chapter: 4/5 Read Chapter 3 Here / Read on AO3

Richie’s room was nicer than Eddie’s, way nicer. It’s not that Eddie’s room was bad, in fact he’d spent a good amount of time admiring it earlier, it’s just that Eddie’s room was like the discount version, and Richie’s was designer. Where Eddie’s room had gotten tall windows, half of Richie’s wall was taken up by a fireplace. Eddie supposed it was a trade, someone who preferred a nicer view might say Eddie’s room was the winner, but there was something undeniably romantic about your own fireplace. Richie’s room also seemed to have a newer TV, mounted on the wall across from their bed. The TV in Eddie’s room was older and hid behind two panels of wood in a cabinet. Simply put, Eddie was very glad Richie had decided to bring them here. Richie flopped on the bed immediately, overdramatizing how exhausted he was just from limping his way down the hall. Eddie hid a knowing smile and joined him. “Thank you for saving me, I was about five minutes away from dying of boredom.” Richie drawled. “Well, I can’t promise you’ll have any more fun here, but you’re welcome. ”Richie let his head loll to the side, regarding Eddie closely before speaking again. “No, I’ll definitely have more fun here. ”The insinuation was brash, Richie didn’t even bother trying to hide it behind a joke. It made Eddie’s gut clench in unusual ways. He brought his thumb up to his mouth, the habit of gnawing at his fingernails a hard one to kick, but was interrupted by his own gasp as his hand came into view. His knuckles were starting to bruise, tender to flex and even more tender to touch. He hadn’t noticed any pain earlier, too caught up in Richie to even think about anything else, but now that he was staring at his fist the ache began to echo under his skin. “You just notice that?” Richie asked gently, noting the horror in Eddie’s eyes. Eddie could only nod, his gaze fixed on the evidence of his breakdown. He wasn’t sure how long he stared at his hand, but when Richie’s entered the frame Eddie startled. He’d gotten a hand towel from the bathroom and wrapped some ice in it, which Eddie could only guess was provided in their minifridge. Richie guided Eddie’s hand down to his lap, placing the ice pack atop his knuckles gently and murmuring an apology when Eddie hissed at the sudden coldness. They stayed silent for a few minutes, simply sitting in each other’s presence as the ice dampened the cloth atop Eddie’s hand. Eddie was the first to speak, keeping his eyes downcast as he admitted his guilt aloud. “I’m not a violent person, you know.” He could feel Richie’s eyes on his face but didn’t give in to the lure. “Yeah, I know.” Richie reassured. “But Bowers is an exception-”“No, he’s not.” Eddie snapped. “If I sink to his level, I’m just like him.” Eddie wasn’t sure if Richie would get it. They had both been targets of Henry’s attacks, but Eddie never wanted anyone to feel the way he’d felt, not even Henry himself. Eddie’s mind was constantly replaying all the times he'd had his face shoved into the dirt, the way the gravel would stick to his wounds, the shouts he’d receive from his mother upon getting home. Henry was a god-awful human, but that didn’t mean he deserved to feel that same pain and sorrow. That wasn’t going to change anything; you can’t break the cycle with the same bullshit that fueled it. “I didn’t mean to do it.” Eddie whispered. “I just snapped.” Richie immediately scooted closer, an action Eddie wasn’t expecting or prepared for. He looked up and met bright blue eyes, tender and open and completely void of judgement. “You’re nothing like him; you didn’t want to hurt him. Bowers wants to hurt people. ”Eddie looked back down at his hand, flexing his fingers and watching as the makeshift ice pack slid off and landed on the sheets. “You know…” Eddie began thinking out loud. “I’ve felt the brunt of a lot of people’s insecurities. I don’t usually mind being projected on, it’s easy to see through the words and figure out what’s actually going on behind them. I’ve even gotten good at doing it with Henry, though he’s a bit of a different breed… But there was something about the things he said today... they felt more personal.” Richie listened intently, allowing Eddie to spill out into the space between them, his vulnerability a tender wound. “Whatever, it’s stupid.” Eddie was quick to dismiss his own feelings, covering them up with a shrug of his shoulders that attempted to pass as indifference. “It’s not stupid.” Richie insisted. Eddie stared down at his uninjured hand as it picked at a thread on the blanket beneath them. “Listen, I don't know what Henry said, but you're not suddenly a super villain for fighting back one time. The first time I was called a fag, I threw a mug at the dude’s head.” Richie admitted aloud with a chuckle. “We were in a coffee shop and I was on my first date with a guy. I ended up having to pay for the broken mug and my backtalk. ”Eddie perked up like Richie had just given him a straight shot of smelling salts. All other sound in the room fell away as Eddie homed in on Richie’s voice, trying to discern if he was dreaming or not. “Safe to say it was not a very good first impression.” Richie laughed lightly, completely unaware of the way he was flipping Eddie’s world upside down. “Anyway, all I’m trying to say is you’re not the only one who’s lost their cool before. You’re human, you’re allowed to get upset when people treat you less than.” Eddie was sure Richie was making a good point, was sure what he was saying held some wisdom that could potentially help, but he was guilty to say he hadn’t processed a word of it. He was too caught up on the fact that Richie had dated guys before. Stan’s words echoed in his brain ‘You might want to consider the possibility that this isn’t their first time eating a hot dog’, fucking Stan was always right, even with that stupid metaphor. Richie had begun talking again, but Eddie didn’t hesitate to interrupt him, this new revelation too significant to pass by. “You like boys?” Eddie blurted out, all grace and subtlety left behind with his spiraling thoughts. Richie froze in place, his hands up in a gesture Eddie was sure had something to do with what he’d been talking about, but now looked comically out of place. Slowly, Richie lowered his hands to his lap and regarded Eddie with a new look, one that held enough cockiness to knock the wind out of Eddie. “Grinding my dick on you didn’t send the message?” Richie teased, raising one eyebrow and swiping his tongue across his teeth. Eddie suppressed a full body shiver, averting his eyes from Richie’s intensity. “I thought you were maybe, like, I don’t know-” “This ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy.” Richie said with a twang that went straight to Eddie’s pants. He blamed Brokeback Mountain. “Well, it isn’t mine either.” Eddie defended instinctively. He watched as Richie’s eyes flicked down to his mouth and back up again, quick like a hummingbird and with all the same charm. “So, then what’s the issue?” Richie’s voice had lowered, taking on something much more intimate and sultry. It made Eddie’s heart rate spike. “I guess there isn’t one.” He breathed. “Good, because I’ve been wanting to do this all day.” Eddie barely had a moment to breathe before Richie captured his lips in a hungry kiss, his hand burying itself in the hair at Eddie’s nape to pull him in closer. The gesture almost made Eddie go limp, as if he were a cat being held by its scruff, submissive by instinct. He opened his mouth pliantly, allowing Richie in with a welcome of his own tongue. Eddie couldn’t believe that this was happening. Just a couple hours ago he was fisting his own cock, fantasizing about the way Richie tasted. Now he knew. Richie was a cold fire, stoking Eddie’s lungs with mint and cinnamon spice. He tasted like the frost outside, and the embers that kept you warm. It was comforting, enveloping in a way Eddie couldn’t describe. Eddie pushed against Richie, guiding him to lay down on his back so Eddie could climb atop his lap, resuming the same position they’d been in the night before. This time, however, there was clear determination between them. There were no longer hesitant touches or swallowed moans, every move was purposeful, made with intent. Eddie wasn’t shy to shed his sweater, wanting to move things along as quickly as possible now that they were finally happening. “Your body, god, do you know how long I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you?” Richie grabbed Eddie’s bare waist in near disbelief, awe shining in his eyes. “Less than 24 hours?” Eddie snorted, rolling his eyes and his hips in tandem. Richie groaned and tightened his grip, stilling Eddie forcefully. “Try years. You think I didn’t notice you until Mrs. Harrow forced us to sit together?” Eddie flushed even hotter, his skin reddening to match the fire that Richie was stoking. Richie grinned at Eddie’s speechlessness, pushing forward. “I noticed you for the first time in sophomore year. You were trying out for the track team at the same time as Mike and we were in the bleachers cheering him on. I was gone the second you walked out onto that grass. I tried to be respectful, but I couldn’t stop imagining myself squeezed between those thighs that your tight little track shorts did a great job of highlighting.” Eddie tried to recall that moment, tried to visualize Richie in the bleachers with his floppy hair and lopsided glasses, but all he could remember was the adrenaline he’d felt going behind his mother’s back, too busy to notice anything else. “I never stopped noticing you after that, in fact I’m surprised you never caught me looking your way during class…” Richie moved his hands to begin trailing up Eddie’s thighs. “But the second time I really noticed you, was at the end of that school year. We had a heat wave and the AC broke, d’you remember that? The school had no idea how to deal with it, so they just chucked us outside and gave us popsicles from the freezer in the cafeteria, probably because they were going to melt anyway. But you sat there in the middle of the field sucking on your popsicle like it was the best fucking thing you’d ever tasted. You might have been miserable like the rest of us, but you were too focused on your treat to pay any mind to the weather.” Eddie’s throat was going dry, his head beginning to feel light and airy as he listened to Richie talk. “That night I dreamt you were sucking my cock, that same euphoric look on your face as if it were that damn popsicle.” Richie’s hands reached Eddie’s hips and traced the curve around to his ass, causing Eddie to stutter a breath as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbones. “I’ve thought about fucking you for years, Eds, to see you cum on my cock and hear you cry my name. I would do just about anything you asked me to, just as long as I can make you feel good.” Eddie had never been this aroused in his life. Every single nerve in his body was buzzing like a live wire, his toes already curling just from Richie’s words alone. “What if I asked you to take your clothes off?” Eddie braved, his voice shaky. Richie sat up, bringing them chest to chest. “Anything. You. Asked.” Richie punctuated each word with a featherlight kiss to Eddie’s lips. The butterflies in Eddie’s stomach went wild as he watched Richie begin to strip off his shirt. He did it slowly, keeping his eyes on Eddie as Eddie’s own raked down the newly exposed skin. Richie's skin was pale enough to rival the snow outside, spattered with fewer freckles than Eddie’s, but enough to break up the milky complexion. He was thin but still held definition, especially as Eddie’s eyes reached the ‘v’ of his hips that dipped into his waistband. Eddie swallowed thickly and nodded towards the spot where Richie’s hands were already hovering over his waistband. Eddie had to swing his leg off Richie and move to the side to let him shimmy his pants down his legs, every new inch equally as mesmerizing. “Like what you see?” Richie’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Not sure yet, I think I need to see more.” Eddie whispered back, tension thick between them. Eddie could see where Richie was straining against the fabric of his boxers, tenting them to an intimidating level. The way his mouth watered at the sight made Eddie feel absolutely depraved, lewd in a way that only added to his arousal, made him want to spread his legs wide and offer himself up whole. The moment that stretched between them as Richie pulled his boxers down felt like an eternity. Eddie lived, died, and got reborn all in the span of that second. Richie’s cock was heavy, springing free for only a moment before falling back against his stomach. Eddie could see Richie moving in his peripheral, getting comfortable back against the duvet after throwing his boxers to the floor, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off his dick. He felt fingers carding through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead, and finally Eddie tore his gaze away from the challenge that sat before him. Richie’s smile was smug, but his eyes seemed vulnerable. Eddie realized he was waiting for his next command, unsure how they’d fallen into that pattern but not opposed to continuing it. Eddie felt powerful as he raised on his haunches and moved to where Richie’s legs were spread. He watched Richie’s face, noted the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed, and his fingers twitched as he tried not to move. Eddie lowered his head so it was level with Richie’s cock, pausing just a few inches away so his breath grazed against it as he spoke. “Fuck my mouth.” Eddie directed, lust overwriting his usual nerves and replacing them with boldness. Richie’s breath shook as he let it out slowly. “Jesus fuck, Eddie…”Richie’s hands travelled back into Eddie’s hair, gentle at first and then gripping at the base. He guided Eddie’s head the rest of the way down and shuttered when Eddie finally took the head in his mouth. Eddie instantly felt intoxicated, like Richie was the strongest absinthe man had ever made. He greedily gulped it down, laving at the underside of Richie’s cock as it glided into his throat. Drool was already pooling at the corners of his mouth, but Eddie paid it no mind, his only focus on drinking in as much of Richie as he could. He knew right away there was no reality in which he could take all of Richie at once, at least not without a lot of practice, so he committed his mouth to the top half and his hand to the bottom. His fingers barely met as they wrapped around Richie’s shaft and gave an experimental pump. Richie groaned, and Eddie took it as a good sign. He repeated the motion with a twist of his wrist, tonguing the slit of his cock where precum was leaking out greedily. Eddie could feel Richie’s legs tensing where he had his free hand splayed across his thigh. Every time he teased the underside of Richie’s head that muscle would jump, and it almost became a game to see how quickly Eddie could make that muscle twitch, his tongue moving faster and faster against that sensitive spot and causing Richie's legs to vibrate. “Oh my god- fuck, ahhhh-h-how are you so good at this…” Richie’s voice was wrecked, raspy and low and breathy all at once. Eddie just hummed in acknowledgement, sending vibrations up Richie’s shaft that made him hump up into Eddie’s mouth. The action caused Eddie to gag and he reveled in it, moaning like a whore in heat. He was so far gone he barely noticed when Richie pulled him off suddenly. “Okay you’re too good at that.” Richie panted, his chest heaving. Eddie’s head was cloudy, the only conscious thought chanting ‘more, more, more’. He blinked a few times, trying to shift the room back into place. “Why did we stop?” Eddie asked dumbly, his words a bit slurred. “I didn’t want to cum yet. I sort of thought… maybe, if you wanted to, we could-” “Finger me.” Eddie blurted out, his senses coming back to him but not all gracefully. “I mean…” He cleared his throat, face beginning to flush. “…please." Richie looked liked he’d just won the lottery and been slapped across the face at the same time, a dopey kind of smile accompanying his features. “You don’t have to be polite about it, Eds. I’m kinda digging this whole dictator thing you’ve got going on, actually.” Eddie giggled adoringly, calmed by the way Richie was able to dissolve his nerves so quickly with such a disastrously dumb joke, even at a time like this. “Gimme a sec.” Richie leaned forward, catching Eddie’s lips in a chaste kiss before he was springing off the bed. “I know that bastard has lube somewhere.” Eddie watched as Richie began searching through what he assumed to be Bill’s suitcase, throwing things to the side in a frenzy. He finally came across a toiletry bag and ripped it open, rifling around for only a moment more and emerging with a small bottle of clear liquid. “Will Bill mind if we use it?” Eddie worried his lip between his teeth, not so much caring about the answer but asking anyway out of respect for his new friend. “Nah, he’ll just be happy I’m getting laid.” Richie winked and those damn butterflies acted up again. Richie crawled back onto the bed, setting the lube to the side temporarily. He returned his attention to Eddie, a renewed twinkle in his lust blown eyes. He crowded Eddie’s space, towering above him but lowering his head so their lips grazed against each other. “Let’s get these off, hmm?” Richie’s fingers stroked lightly at the waistband of Eddie’s sweatpants. “I thought I was the one giving orders.” Eddie teased back, voice barely above a whisper. Richie hooked his fingers under the waistband and pulled, letting it snap back against Eddie’s stomach as he released it with a shuttering breath. “Alright Kaspbrak.” Richie let his body fall backwards, bouncing lighting as it hit the mattress. He brought his hands up behind his head and made a show of getting comfortable. “I am at your mercy.” That same emboldened feeling consumed him once again, a confidence only Richie seemed to instill in him. It was intoxicating, much like everything else about Richie. With a smirk, Eddie backed up off the bed and stood in the middle of the room. Eddie kept his eyes focused on Richie as he began to pull his sweatpants down, going painstakingly slow just to see Richie’s reaction. He saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed back his desire, a nearly imperceptible twitch making his cock jump in intrigue. Eddie kicked his pants to the side where they joined his long since discarded sweater, and then all his focus diverted to his neglected cock. All earlier thoughts of whether Richie would like his body were gone, he knew Richie liked his body, and he was planning on milking that for all it was worth. Eddie palmed himself over his underwear, letting his head fall back and his mouth drop open as he finally offered himself the stimulation he needed. He looked down and noted that the white fabric had gone translucent where his cock had been leaking against it, giving Richie a peek of the pink head underneath. He heard Richie whimper from the bed but paid him no mind, indulging in his own senses for a moment. He continued to tease himself through the thin cloth until he couldn’t take any more, finally allowing his hands to wander to the waistband and pull the underwear down his thighs. Richie was silent, watching so attentively that a pin could be heard dropping in the room. Eddie kicked the last piece of clothing off to the side and immediately let his hand wander back to his own cock, tugging it a few times and allowing himself to moan at the sensation. He heard the bed squeak and opened his eyes to see Richie crawling towards him. Gone was Richie’s passiveness and submission, replaced with a new hunger that made Eddie’s legs quiver. Richie reached his arms out and pulled Eddie in until his legs hit the edge of the mattress. Even with Eddie standing and Richie kneeling on the bed, he was still a good few inches taller than him, and he used that to his advantage while crowding into Eddie’s space. “You can’t tease me like that.” Richie whispered into the shell of his ear, kissing right under it and beginning a path down his neck. “I didn’t mean to.” Eddie answered honestly, succumbing to the warmth of Richie’s lips and letting his head tip back once again. “Just felt so good…” “I can make you feel even better.” Richie promised, ghosting his hand down Eddie’s torso and just barely grazing his cock. Eddie moaned, arching into the faint touch and whimpering as it left. “Please…” Eddie’s jaw was slack, the word falling out without a thought. Richie continued making his way down Eddie’s body, sucking marks against tan skin as he passed. He paused at Eddie’s nipples to give them special attention and Eddie keened, grabbing at Richie’s hair in sudden desperation. Richie swirled his tongue around one bud, allowing his hand to pluck the other until he switched. He nipped lightly enough to cause Eddie to shutter and then sucked to soothe the reddening skin. He continued his trail downwards, licking along Eddie’s hip bones and kissing the juncture between his thighs and his pelvis, avoiding Eddie’s cock purposefully. Pleas were falling from Eddie’s mouth steadily now; his hands tugging weakly on Richie’s hair to try and guide him towards pleasure. Richie swiftly gathered Eddie in his arms, catching him off guard in his haze of lust. He moved back up the mattress and laid against the bed board, situating Eddie so he was laying across his body. “I bet your pretty little hole is just begging to be touched.” Richie murmured, reaching for the bottle of lube and hastily pouring a generous amount on his digits. Eddie moaned at the lewdness of the comment, his hips moving against Richie’s and causing their cocks to grind against each other. He could feel a wetness smearing against their bellies, similar to the wetness Richie was spreading between his fingers. He watched as Richie’s hand disappeared behind him and then he felt the warm press of a finger at his entrance. The feeling was somewhat familiar; Eddie had fingered himself countless times before, he wasn’t new to pleasuring his prostate. But this was the first time anyone else had ever touched him there. It was difficult not to focus in on every small sensation, to not grind up against Richie like a virgin being touched for the first time. Richie teased the pad of his finger around his rim and unsurprisingly, Eddie fluttered in response. He could hear Richie’s laugh reverberating in his chest where Eddie laid his head. He closed his eyes and spread his legs a bit wider, silently ushering Richie to continue. The first slip inside was uncomfortable. It always is, no matter how turned on you are, but it was also euphoric in a way Eddie was never able to make it for himself. Richie’s fingers were thinner than Eddie’s, but significantly longer, and soon enough Richie was already in to his knuckle. Eddie breathed steadily, allowing his body to get used to the intrusion. Richie followed his queue, stilling for a moment until Eddie nodded minutely against him, signaling him to continue. The next finger wasn’t too much harder than the first, and soon the discomfort ebbed away to make room for pleasure. Richie worked his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch Eddie open as much as possible before a third was added. It felt way better than Eddie had ever imagined it would. Richie’s fingers weren’t clumsy or unsure like Eddie would have thought, they were precise with their pressure and quick to find the spots that made Eddie melt. He went at the perfect pace, allowing Eddie his time to adjust but not waiting too long to lose their momentum. Arousal bubbled hot in Eddie’s stomach, searing his skin at every spot where they were connected. His breathing had become labored, and his hips had begun their own little rotation where he ground himself down into Richie. Every time he did, he felt Richie’s cock twitching against his, eager to escape the slot between them and burry itself inside Eddie. And in that moment, Eddie wanted that more than anything. “Fuck me, now.” Eddie demanded breathily, holding no more space for patience. “You sure you’re ready?” Richie checked, his own breath seeming to stutter. Eddie whined indignantly, raising himself up on shaky knees and grabbing both of Richie’s wrists. He pulled them away, deft fingers slipping out of him easily and falling to the pillow beside Richie’s head where Eddie pinned them. “Now.” Eddie repeated, grinding his ass against Richie’s cock and coating it with lube. “I’m gonna die here and it’s gonna be the happiest day of my life.” Richie rushed out, eyes squeezed shut and face flushed a blotchy red. Eddie removed one hand and reached down to grasp Richie’s cock, marveling once again at its size. He was sure he was going to feel a stretch, but he craved it at this point. With determination and just a little too much arousal for rational thought, Eddie lined himself up and began sinking down. The stretch was… a lot. Eddie let out a pained whimper as Richie’s head breached his rim, and suddenly there were hands all over him, cradling his face, petting his hair, steadying his hips. “Hey, hey, you’re okay.” Richie rushed to comfort him, kissing the spot between Eddie’s eyebrows where he hadn’t realized he’d furrowed them. “We can stop at any point. You want to stop?” Eddie was stubborn, he knew this about himself. He was aware that his stubbornness had gotten him into trouble in the past, but it had also earned him some of the best moments of his life. He didn’t want to end this prematurely and look back on his first time with remorse, but he also didn’t exactly want to rip his asshole open on a high school ski trip. Eddie decided he just needed a minute, so he shook his head and told Richie as much. Richie continued to rub his back, his hair, anywhere his nervous hands could settle. He seemed on such high alert Eddie wasn't sure how his dick wasn't flagging. Eddie winced as Richie inched down the bed carefully, lying himself flatter and pulling Eddie back down to his chest. Eddie closed his eyes and focused on Richie’s heartbeat, feeling Richie moving above him but paying it no mind. He jumped in surprise when Richie’s hand joined his dick, but his body relaxed instantaneously as he felt those soft fingers begin to massage extra lube around his rim. As the seconds passed Eddie could feel himself opening up under Richie’s touch, his muscles relaxing and his temperature rising. Richie was clearly feeling the heat himself, as he’d started to rock his hips gently beneath Eddie’s. The action was gentle, inching him further into Eddie in torturously small increments but not pushing him past his limits. It was beginning to drive Eddie crazy as his craving for more became overpowering, all the pain from before having subsided. Without warning, Eddie pushed himself back on Richie’s cock, feeling his fingers flutter around his hole at the sudden movement. He was quick to use his hand to steady himself at the base of his cock, holding it still for Eddie to fuck back on. Richie let out an elongated breath, swearing profusely at the end of it. It made Eddie blush and move faster, his hips taking on a rhythm of their own. Eddie was on cloud fucking nine. His body lit up like a live wire, electrifying him with every move he made. Richie appeared to be just as affected, his mouth stuck open in an orgasmic ‘o’, his eyes practically rolled back into his skull. Richie had been quick to match Eddie’s pace, thrusting up into him feverously, hands clamped on to Eddie's hip as tightly as Eddie was clamping around his cock. "You're so fucking huge." Eddie moaned, the statement coming out honestly despite sounding like a script from a bad porno. "Holy shit, you can't say stuff like that or I'm gonna blow my load." Richie responded, chest heaving. "I'm serious, it feels like I'm being split open, god Rich." "That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble." Richie's thrusts were speeding up, becoming more erratic. Eddie almost felt like he was riding a bull, clenching his thighs in a desperate attempt not to be bucked off. "Then shut me up." The response was instantaneous. Richie flipped them over, pressing Eddie into the mattress as he pounded into him mercilessly. He brought one hand up to Eddie's mouth and shoved two fingers against his tongue, forcing Eddie to suck on the digits. Eddie gagged on them like he would Richie's cock, saliva dripping out of the corner of his mouth and mixing with the tears that had escaped without notice. He was completely fucked out, his brain unable to process anything besides Richie. "I'm gonna cum." Richie warned, his orgasm approaching rapidly after being so on edge for so long. Eddie didn't mind, his own release not far behind. "Cum inside me, please, want to feel you." Eddie begged, unaware of his desire until it was suspended right in front of him. "Fuck, unnnf- god, Eddie." Richie said his name like a prayer, bringing his hand up to stroke Eddie's neglected cock. The sensation was downright sinful, the best thing Eddie thinks he's ever felt in his entire life. It caused his toes to curl, most of the muscles in his body seizing up at the pleasure. Richie's hips stuttered a few times and then he was overwhelmed with a warmth deep inside him, Richie's cock pushing through it to press diligently into his prostate. Eddie came with blinding lights in his eyes, his body convulsing as waves upon waves of euphoria flooded his senses. He's pretty sure he screams, but he could have been completely silent and it would have sounded the same to his deaf ears. Eddie's not sure how long he lays there in fucked out bliss, his mind completely separate from his body, but when he finally tunes back into the world around him he's alone in the bed. He looks around to find Richie and spots him crouched on the ground by the fireplace, tinkering with the button to light it up. Electric flames suddenly burst alive behind Richie's silhouette, highlighting his long legs as he stretches back up and turns to regard Eddie. "Hey." His voice is gentle, not quite a whisper but close enough to one that the greeting still felt secretive. "Hi." Eddie matches his tone, his throat appreciating the low register after being abused not too long ago. "I thought I lost you there for a minute." Richie crawled back into bed, pulling the thick duvet over them. "I think you did." Eddie admitted sheepishly. "That was fucking... wow." Richie laughed at the advanced vocabulary Eddie was able to implement at that moment. "Wow is right." Richie agreed, welcoming Eddie as he crowded into his space. The silence fell upon them naturally, their bodies and minds too exhausted to bother with much else. It was a long while until Eddie pipped back up. “Was that your first time?” Eddie asked quietly, his eyes having drifted closed from the comfort of being satiated in such a new way. “Mm-mm.” Richie answered carding his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “First time was with Ally Mae Espin. It was a mess.” Eddie hummed for Richie to continue, too content to respond vocally. “It was in Bill’s garage in 8th grade. It lasted exactly two minutes and neither of us finished. I had blue balls for the rest of the night, but honestly, I didn’t even care. I’d realized as soon as we’d kissed that I wasn’t into her the way she was into me. I don’t regret it, but as far as first times it’s pretty anticlimactic. Literally.” Eddie giggled, nuzzling closer into Richie’s warmth. He felt fuzzy all over, invincible to the evils of the outside world. He thinks he could probably survive an avalanche right now, completely safe inside Richie’s arms. “What about you? How was your first time porking the hog?” Eddie scrunched his nose in disgust, peering up at Richie judgingly. “First of all, ew. Don’t ever call it that again. And also… this was my first time.” Richie’s eyes widened a fraction, an unreadable but unmistakable softness within them. “Shit, Eds. I wish you’d have told me, I would have at least tried to perform better.” Predictably, Richie was trying to hide his vulnerability with humor. Also predictably, Eddie could see right through it. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” Richie seemed to gnaw on the inside of his cheek, so Eddie continued. “Ten out of ten, would pork again.” That earned a surprised laugh from Richie, and Eddie considered his mission accomplished. He could work on Richie’s insecurities more later, but for now, at least he knew Eddie didn’t regret what had happened. They fell back into another stretch of silence, the crackle of the fireplace background noise to their steady breathing. Eddie had almost fallen asleep when Richie spoke again. “Did you always know you wanted to be a mechanic when you were younger?” It took a moment for Eddie to fully re-inhabit his body, wondering why his slumber had been interrupted for such a random question. “Huh?” “You know, kids are so indecisive. One minute it's 'I'm gonna be a doctor' the next it's 'I'm gonna be an alien superstar princess'. Did little Eddie have lots of dream jobs or was it always a mechanic?” Eddie took a moment to think, having to dig through all of the expectations and responsibilities that had piled on top of him over time, shielding his passions and replacing them with pragmatic plans for the future. "I always wanted to be a mechanic. Actually, I even wanted to open my own garage when I grew up." Richie listened intently, allowing Eddie to continue. "My dad was a mechanic. I learned a lot just from watching him, and then when he passed away I continued learning under a guy named Isaac, until mom decided it was too messy and too dangerous for me to be in the shop. I always believed I would grow up, open my own place where my mom couldn't ban me from being, and name it after my dad." Richie's face fell at the mention of Eddie's dad's death and he cursed himself for bringing it up. People always felt uncomfortable at the mention of death, and even though Eddie had long since accepted that his dad was gone, he always had to suffer through people’s weird grief reactions that, more often than not, made him feel worse. However a few moments passed and Richie still hadn't said anything, so Eddie braved a look upwards. "What's your favorite car?" Eddie was taken aback, already in the process of mentally preparing himself to field the same old questions he'd long since memorized his answers to. He blinked a few times, a smile creeping up on him without his permission. Richie continued to surprise him at every turn, and Eddie was absolutely giddy about it. "You're gonna make fun of me." Eddie sighed, infinitely grateful for Richie somehow always knowing exactly what to say and when not to say. "I absolutely will." Richie nodded. "1966 Volkswagen Type 2." Richie seemed to contemplate it, nodding slowly before bursting into a side splitting smile and letting a little laugh go. "You’re right, that's hilarious." Eddie laughed along, but still slapped his chest playfully to at least act offended. He snuggled in closer, settling his head on Richie’s chest. "It's just that the hippie lifestyle doesn't exactly match the Eddie Kaspbrak I've grown to know and lo-" Richie cut himself off just as Eddie's heart skipped, both of them falling silent for a moment before Richie cleared his throat and marched onwards, his own heart beating rapidly in Eddie's ear. "I'd have guessed you were a smart car kinda guy." "Why? Cause I'm small?" Eddie challenged, trying (and failing) to return his heart rate back to normal. "Yeah. Small, compact, can fit a surprising amount in its backseat." Richie moved his hand down from where he'd been rubbing circles into Eddie's lower back and tapped one of his cheeks. "Careful! I'm still tender." Eddie pouted, unknowingly looking far too cute for Richie's fragile sanity. Richie kissed the top of Eddie's head and Eddie kissed him back between his collarbones, absolutely smitten with the way Richie handled him. "I like the freedom of it." Eddie admitted, picking the conversation back up. "I've always felt trapped in this town, it's comforting to think of owning something that can take me anywhere." “Technically anything with two wheels can accomplish that.” Richie pointed out. “Yeah, but with a van I don’t have to worry about where I’m gonna sleep. I can live out of it for as long as it takes me to get to my destination.” “Where is your destination?” “New York.” Eddie answered automatically, surprising the both of them. Richie’s arms tightened around Eddie, erratic laughter falling from his lips. “EDDIE!!!” “WHAT!?” Eddie was being jostled now, Richie’s happiness contagious even though Eddie had no idea what was happening. “NEW YORK IS MY DREAM!” Eddie finally connected the dots, realizing a little late what that meant. If Eddie wanted to move to New York, and Richie wanted to move to New York, then they could theoretically move to New York together. The notion made Eddie’s belly do flips. “Oh, yeah, I guess that is kind of perfect huh?” Eddie answered, far more bashful than he'd expected himself to sound. “We can get a little apartment downtown where you can open your own garage and I can work at whatever coffee shop will hire me while I practice my standup routine on the weekends! We'll be a dynamic duo, running the streets of New York together. It’s FATE!” Eddie couldn’t deny that it did feel like something cosmic was at play. Richie was this boisterous, loud, chaotic puzzle piece that somehow fit perfectly into the slot on Eddie’s board. He pushed Eddie’s boundaries, encouraged him to challenge his world and rethink the ways he’d been taught to live. Being around him was invigorating, but it also felt like home. Eddie realized with terrifying clarity that he didn’t want to spend another day without Richie in his life. He couldn’t fathom how he’d done so before; looking back felt like watching a black and white film in contrast to the technicolor movie magic he was living in now. Richie had lit up a spot in Eddie’s life that he hadn’t even realized had been dark before. Eddie trailed his hand up Richie’s chest and found the back of his neck, tilting his head down to face Eddie. He moved slow, bringing their faces close together so their lips barely touched. Richie’s skin was soft, his lips plump and inviting as they trembled beneath Eddie’s. They breathed each other in as Eddie nosed at Richie, watching as his eyes fluttered closed and his brain took a backseat. Eddie hummed a nearly imperceptible laugh and finally slotted their lips together, lingering in place for just a second before parting. It was teasing, but not in the sense of arousal. Eddie left Richie with a million thoughts on his mind and nothing but big brown eyes as answers. “I think I passed out for a second there.” Richie breathed shakily, effected in exactly the way Eddie’d intended. “You’re going to take me to New York one day.” Eddie decided aloud. Richie was all shy smiles, dipping his head low to try and hide his blush. “I sure fucking hope so.” Richie responded quietly, looking back up at Eddie through inky curls. Eddie pushed his hair to the side, tucking it behind Richie’s ear and letting his hand fall back down to his chest. “You will.” They fell asleep like that, wrapped in each other’s arms with thoughts of the future fueling their dreams. Eddie knew that nothing was guaranteed. Two days can’t rewrite your whole life, and once they left the resort and re-entered Derry, he was sure that all the expectations and pressure he’d superseded were going to come back full force. But somehow, he felt more prepared to face them. They didn’t hold the same weight as they once had, because now Eddie knew he had a whole world outside of the one his mother had built for him to exist within. That world might just be Richie Tozier, but it was a thousand times bigger and brighter than the solitude he’d lived in before. For once, Eddie was excited to live.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie fanfic #reddie fanfiction #reddie smut #reddie lemon #my posts #my writing #OTEOAA

36 notes · View notes

sweetbunnykook · 5 years ago

Text

Forget-Me-Not

Adopted!JK x Detective!Noona - Oneshot/Drabble

Warning: taboo relationship, angst (manipulation/unhealthy boundaries)

Word: 1,855

Synopsis: Jungkook prepares to surprise you during Halloween but you have other plans that fuel his insecurities.

A/N: I combined most, if not all, of the drabble ideas you guys sent me. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this drabble that is borderline a oneshot! ♥ Everyone had such wonderful ideas I couldn’t just choose one. I also had to force myself to stop writing because it was going to turn into a chapter.

Jungkook just wanted to spend Halloween with you in peace. That was it. Just you and him, in front of the television, wrapped under a single blanket, wearing matching clothes and drinking warm tea. He even planned to order food from your favorite fried chicken restaurant with the little money he made doing art commissions. It was supposed to be a surprise and you were supposed to be jumping with joy when you see him holding two tea mugs in his hands, wearing a pumpkin patterned pajama pants and a large plain white cotton shirt big enough for you to climb inside in its warmth.

Is it surprising that when you walked downstairs, saddle bag in hand, dressed in an outfit he’s never seen before (a dress that was certainly revealed too much of your decolletage), he would be furious?

“Where are you going, mom?”

He can feel his stomach drop when your bright eyes suddenly dimmed upon seeing the cups in his hand and his eyebrows furrowed.

“I…” You struggle to find the words, knowing that his gaze is steadily trailing up and down your body. You’ve never dressed like this for any of your previous dates and Jungkook dreaded that you were going to end up in another man’s house, in another man’s bed, and come back reeking of this bastard’s cologne.

“I have a d-date,” your meek reply comes as you walk down the last few flights of stairs and open the shoe closet, grabbing a pair of boots and a clean pair of socks, your back towards him.

“With the same guy?” Jungkook’s voice lowers and you can hear the clinking of porcelain as he sets down the mugs on the coffee table, next to the rental DVD.

You nod. “Yeah.”

When you risk a glance towards him, you regret it immediately. Jungkook’s fists are clenched at his sides, his jaw is tight, and his eyes gleamed with unshed tears.

“Kookie,” you sigh, dropping your shoes back onto the rack to stride towards his tall figure cloaked in semi-darkness. “I’ll be back soon, maybe around midnight, okay?”

“The last time you said that you didn’t even come home. I was worried sick.” Jungkook pulls away from you when you reach to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m a detective,” you chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. The pitter-patter of the rain outside isn’t helping nor is Jungkook’s anger seeping out of every pore. “You know there’s nothing to worry ab-“

“It’s easy for you to say, mom. It’s easy for you to pick up your bag and go because you never look forward to our plans like I do. You never think for a second that maybe I want to spend the night with you and not have to wait for your leftover time like…like a pet.”

Has he always felt that way? It seems almost impossible given you spent your waking hours showering him with affection.

You pressed your lips together. “I didn’t know we were going to spend time today and I always, always prioritize your needs above mine. Don’t ever say that to me. Where is this coming from? Jungkook, if you need me to-”

Whatever you said might have struck a nerve within him for he flinched backwards, shaking his head.

“Forget it,” Jungkook takes the mugs back from the coffee table and paces towards the kitchen, knowing you’re trailing behind in concern as you struggle once more to keep him calm.

He knows he’s being unfair. He knows that you may have forgotten to tell him you were going on a date today, that it was his fault for planning a surprise on a holiday when you’re free from work. You only went on your rare dates on your day offs when you didn’t need to go grocery shopping or tend to other household responsibilities. The fact that you bought a new dress tells him all he needs to know about how much you looked forward to this night, even forgiving his snide remarks about your date when you first introduced him months ago. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and it makes Jungkook’s eyes fill with tears not just from frustration but from guilt that you ended up with him, a burden. This wounded, bleeding burden of a boy who falls more and more in love with you as the years go by.

Jungkook hates your little dates where you most likely had sex before coming back to him. The idea of a man kissing your soft nipples, your full hips, the inside of your thighs – it makes him sick with wrath. Jungkook hates that you still see him as the boy you took under your wings all those years ago. Jungkook hates that you’re so comfortable walking around in a towel in front of him because you don’t see him as a man; he knows you would never be that carefree with a date. He owns a piece of you that no other man can see. But his punishment is that he’s kept in this mold of the adopted son he desperately wants to be rid of. Changing his body to become stronger, becoming independent, pretending to be mature most of the time about the idea that a stepfather can appear in his life at any time – Jungkook was sick of it. He was sick of it all.

He throws the mugs in the sink, the two porcelain clattering in cacophony as it hits the sink and cool tea swirls down the drain.

“Jungkook…” your strained, mournful voice reaches his ears and his heart breaks. He can’t breathe, he needs to get out of there, he needs to get out fast.

“Kookie, wait-” You reach for him once more but he turns back into the living room, taking the rental DVD in his hands before he takes the flyer for your favorite restaurant laying haphazardly and balls the paper in his fist.

He skips up the stairs, noticing that you didn’t follow him this time. Somehow that makes it hurt even more.

Jungkook throws the DVD and paper on his bed and opens his closet, reaching for a pair of black sweatpants and a matching hoodie. He sheds off the plain shirt and pajama pants (so much for October festivity) and quickly change into the black set, keeping an ear out for the sound of the front door closing. He grabs his cellphone, his wallet, and keys off the textbooks stacked on his desk and shoves them into his pocket. For a moment he catches his reflection from the mirror pinned to the closet door and Jungkook decides, from his teary red face, that he hates himself more than he hates your dates and your cluelessness.

He’s gotten taller, much taller, stronger, smarter, but emotionally he is still the boy you rescued all those years ago. He’s still the boy who looked up at you and called you his superhero and smiled through the bloody black and purple bruises on his face when you held him and sobbed.

Jungkook slams the door shut behind him as he walks away from the comfort of his bedroom. Stepping down the stairs, he’s surprised to see you sitting on the couch, your feet still bare and your phone clutched in your hand. Why haven’t you left?

“Kookie I’m-“ You pause. You take notice of his attire and take a deep breath. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Out where?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Please don’t do this,” your voice cracks and Jungkook grinds his teeth. Yes, he hates himself more than ever. He’s self-centered, dramatic, and immature, he thinks, it’s no wonder you won’t see him as anything other than a child. Hell, being regarded as a dog would be better.

“Just go on your date, mom. Sorry for ruining your perfect night or whatever and tell him I said hi.”

Jungkook walks past you to grab his backpack. He won’t be able to focus on schoolwork and he doesn’t have anywhere else to go except Jimin’s house yet he slumps the bag over his shoulder anyway.

“I canceled the date. I’m not going anywhere,” You grab his sleeve, halting him in his tracks before wrapping your arms around him. He’s gotten so large that your fingers barely touch when you hold him.

He’s silent for a second, harsh breaths gradually fading to soft sighs when he hears you sniffle once and lay your forehead on his back.

“…You didn’t have to do that.”

You shake your head. “I should have expected that you’d do something special.”

“It’s not your fault…” Jungkook can see the porcelain cups in the sink from where he’s standing. His cup and yours, the handles designed to fit each other like puzzle pieces. “I’m…I’m just…”

How does he admit that he’s throwing a tantrum because he wants you all to himself? How does he admit that it was unreasonable of him to expect you to read his mind? How does he admit that his heart feels like it’s about to pounce right out of his chest when you’re not near him? It was embarrassing enough for him to slip into your bed at night while you sleep, lying about his nightmares to earn the privilege of your gentle fingers brushing through his hair in your sleepy daze. He might die of shame if he admits that he’s been daydreaming about a night like this when you can be at ease and when he can pretend he’s your lover and pull you close.

Halloween has always been a tradition – not a strict tradition but a tradition nonetheless that is not disrupted by strangers. He’s way past the age of bouncing off the walls for candy and horror movies but he’d hoped that, the older he gets, this ritual of spending time with you and living out a part of his fantasies during special days won’t perish.

“I’m sorry, mom.” Jungkook murmurs at last, letting the rattle of the kitchen windows from the rain keep him grounded. “I…I didn’t mean to be like this. I wanted to surprise you and I just…I got angry and it wasn’t right. I’m sorry. Can you call him again and-?”

“No.”

Jungkook swallows. Forgiveness feels so out of reach. It feels…

“I don’t want to call him.” You continue. “I want to be here with you…if you’ll have me.”

He turns, making you tilt your head towards him to reveal your watery eyes, and wrap his arms around your shoulders, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your perfume smells like heaven. You smell like heaven and you feel ever better pressed to him; soft against solid, molded like the puzzle piece patterned mugs in the sink.

“Do you even have to ask, mom?…I want you here with me. It’s…it’s okay, right? You won’t be mad at me?”

You peck his cheek, tucking your sorrow deep inside like the same way you’ll fold this new dress into a bag and return it to the boutique.

“I will never make you feel alone.”

#bunny:drabble #jungkook drabble #jungkook oneshot #jungkook angst #bts angst #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfiction #bangtan angst #bangtan fanfiction #bts halloween #jungkook halloween #bangtan halloween #bts drabble #bangtan drabble

237 notes · View notes

lasting-inkpressions · 4 years ago

Text

Burning Up [1/4]

Summary: When she applied to be the secretary for managing partner Rosé McCorkell, Denali hadn't expected to end up working for the biggest pain in her ass, nor did she expect anything beyond a professional relationship.

Word Count: 4,365

Note: Originally titled "Work Wives".

Prefer reading it on AO3?

Denali stood in front of the familiar panelled wooden door, a brown leather folio clutched to her chest and a fresh cup of coffee in her right hand. She was dressed in a cream sleeveless blouse and a black pencil skirt finished off with nude heels. She stared hard at the frosted glass with a name embossed in gold lettering across it.

Rosé McCorkell, one of the three managing partners in S. Child, a top law firm in New York City. She was also a major pain in Denali’s ass for all of the six months that she had been here as her secretary.

Steeling herself for her usual morning meeting with her, Denali took a deep breath, knocked on the door and waited. Seconds later, she heard the usual clicking of stiletto heels on hardwood floor before the door opened to reveal the woman that was her boss.

As much as she was a pain in the ass, Rosé McCorkell was undoubtedly a stunning woman. Standing tall in her black heels, she wore her auburn hair in perfect curls, dressed in a form fitting navy power suit with the blouse unbuttoned just low enough that Denali could see the deep curve of her cleavage. Catching herself before she stared for too long, she snapped her gaze back up to Rosé’s face and plastered on a smile, hoping that the other woman hadn’t noticed her staring.

“Good morning, Miss McCorkell, I’m here to go over your schedule for the day.”

Rosé stared back at Denali for a moment, causing the younger woman to squirm a little under her gaze, before deep red lips stretched into her trademark smirk.

The same smirk that drove Denali absolutely crazy for reasons she didn’t want to think too deeply into.

“Of course you are, come in.”

———

7 months ago.

Denali sat outside the interview room, waiting for her turn to go in. She was surrounded by other young candidates, each of them looking well groomed, neat and manicured. Most of them were in blazers, suits, the whole shebang and here Denali was dressed in a simple white blouse and black dress pants, her blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail with black pumps on her feet.

She hadn’t really thought too much about it when she had come across the ad and applied for the position. She just needed a job after graduating from college, but now she wasn’t too sure on whether she had made a mistake applying to be the secretary of a managing partner at S. Child. Denali had thought it would be an easy job. After all, a secretary just needed to be organised and have a good head on their shoulders, right? She hadn’t thought it would be a challenge, but looking around her now, with so many tense faces and how the place screamed money, she felt like she was out of her depth.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to duck out…

“Miss Denali Foxx.”

Denali cursed under her breath for not noticing that the previous interviewee had already left the room. She stood and walked to the door, feeling the eyes of the other candidates eyeing her outfit in disdain. Bracing herself, she knocked on the door and waited for a second before entering, coming face to face with three women seated behind a lacquered wooden conference table. Denali took note of each one as she sat in the lone chair before them.

From the website she had briefly scrolled through, she could recognise the three managing partners - Jan Sport was on the left, followed by Lagoona Bloo in the middle and Rosé McCorkell, the managing partner that she was applying to be the secretary of, on the right. From what she had gathered, all three of them were charismatic, intelligent and ruthless in their own rights when in the courtroom.

Lagoona opened a manila folder, cleared her throat and smiled warmly at the blonde in front of her. “Good afternoon Miss Foxx, thank you for taking the time to come down for this interview.” Denali smiled back at her, feeling a little more at ease at how friendly Lagoona seemed.

“Good afternoon, and thank you for having me.”

Lagoona nodded and introduced the three of them, then began the interview by asking her questions, with Jan interjecting a few herself. Denali had managed to answer most of them confidently, only ever stumbling once. All the while Rosé, the one who would decide whether she would be hired or not, had remained silent, simply choosing to flip through the thin file that held Denali’s details, barely even sparing her a glance.

After about ten minutes of back and forth, Lagoona asked her final question, then turned to look at Rosé.

“I think that’s about it from us. Do you have any questions for her, Rosé?”

Denali gulped, trying not to let her nerves get the best of her as the other woman finally looked up at her, folding her hands and resting her chin on them. After a few excruciating seconds, Rosé leaned back in her seat, eyes still trained on the blonde woman before finally speaking.

“Yes, why should I hire you out of everyone out there? From what I’ve read in your file, you seem to be the most inexperienced out of all the candidates. Were you hoping to somehow find a sugar daddy here? I mean you clearly have the looks for it.”

There was pin drop silence at her question. Lagoona had her face buried in her hands and Jan was struggling between wanting to laugh and wanting to strangle Rosé. Denali however sat stone still as Rosé stared down at her, her expression bored as she waited for the blonde to reply.

Denali’s mind was blank for a second before rage filled her veins.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Resisting the urge to slap the woman in front of her, Denali reigned it in and instead plastered on the sweetest smile she could muster.

“Well as inexperienced as I am, I can guarantee that if you hire me, you wouldn’t be hiring a cookie cutter suck up that wouldn’t be able to look past designer labels or waste their time trying to be someone they’re not. I can also guarantee that you wouldn’t be hiring a pushover who would go crying to their mother when the job gets tough, and knows that their worth is much more than just a few flimsy pieces of paper that won’t tell you the things that really matter.”

Denali stood, smoothing the wrinkles in her skirt before looking Rosé in the eye.

“And the statement about me wanting a sugar daddy? I’d rather a sugar mommy than a sugar daddy, though from what I see, there aren’t any worth my time here anyways.”

Figuring that the interview was a lost cause, Denali nodded her thanks to a stunned Lagoona and laughing Jan, completely ignoring Rosé, and turned on her heel to leave when she was stopped by two words.

“You’re hired.”

———

Present day.

Grinding her teeth as she glared at the desk in front of her, Denali had to tell herself to calm down as the source of her irritation smirked in her direction. If there was one thing that Denali could not stand, it was Rosé’s way of constantly pushing her buttons. Oh, there was no denying that the woman was good at her job, but the way she seemed to ooze confidence and acted as if she owned the damn place? God, that just made Denali’s blood boil.

“Is something the matter, Nali?”

Denali clenched her fist at the sound of Rosé's nick name for her. It was as if the older woman knew that it riled her up whenever she called her that. Looking up at Rosé, Denali bit back an insult and instead forced herself to smile at her. “No, Miss McCorkell, nothing’s the matter at all. Everything is perfectly fine.”

Staring down at the defiant younger woman for a moment from across her desk, Rosé winked at her. “If you say so, baby.”

Denali gripped the pen in her hand tightly. She breathed through her nose, mentally counting down the seconds till their meeting was over and done with as she wrote down every point that Rosé had said. Quickly going over her notes one last time, she looked back up at Rosé. “Is there anything else, Miss McCorkell?”

“Rosé.”

Denali blinked.

“What?”

“My name. I’ve told you to call me that from the beginning.” Denali rolled her eyes internally as she shuffled the loose sheets of paper into a neater pile. “And as I’ve said before, I’m much more comfortable calling you Miss McCorkell.” She heard Rosé’s low chuckle and the sound of fabric shifting. Denali looked up and immediately dropped her pen.

Rosé was suddenly much closer to her than before, leaning against the solid oak desk between them, an almost predatory look in her eye as she watched the younger girl seated in front of her.

“I wonder why.”

———

“So have you and Miss McCorkell fucked yet?”

Denali glared at Kandy as she walked back to her desk. She threw her pen at the girl and missed as it clattered to the floor, leaving the other girl cackling. “No bitch, and that’s never going to happen. What the fuck even makes you think that?” Kandy sat on the edge of Denali’s desk, a shit eating grin on her face. “Besides the fact that every time you leave her office, your face is always so flustered-“

“Because she always pisses me off-“

“-it’s also the way she stares at your ass, like she can’t wait to get her hands on it.” Denali rolled her eyes and retrieved her pen from the floor. “No, she doesn’t. I’ve never seen her look at my ass before.” And Denali was pretty sure that she would have noticed that, seeing as she’d been Rosé’s secretary for a while now. Plopping herself in her office chair, she opened her folio and started to go through her notes, pulling out a stack of colourful post-it’s from her drawer to help with her organisation. Not to be ignored, Kandy carried on as if the other girl wasn’t trying to ignore her.

“Girl, you don’t exactly have eyes on the back of your head, do you? Trust me, she wants to tap that.”

Denali resisted the urge to strangle the Latina sitting on her desk. Sure, there was always some tension in the room when they were together, but that was more from the fact that Rosé loved riling her up. It had been that way since day one, and sometimes Denali questioned her decision to have accepted the job offer, but the money and benefits were too good to pass up for a fresh grad. She shook her head as she replied dismissively.

“Even if she does, I’m not interested.”

Kandy looked at her in disbelief, one brow cocked. “Are you sure? She’s got a great pair of tits.” Well, she couldn’t argue with that. Denali had noticed Rosé’s ample breasts seeing as the managing partner loved to wear outfits that featured them in a daring, yet tasteful, fashion. If she had met Rosé in a bar, she would definitely have approached her.

Of course, she wasn’t going to tell Kandy that.

“Look, no matter how great her tits are, it’ll never make up for the mouth that she has on her.”

Kandy tutted, picking at her nails. “I’m pretty sure her mouth would be preoccupied when the two of you-“

“KANDY!”

“I’m just saying.”

Denali sighed, rubbing her forehead. God, this conversation was giving her a headache and digging at thoughts she had been trying to avoid herself.

“Listen Kandy, if there is one thing that I would never ever do, it is to sleep with my boss-“

“Denali-“

“I don’t care if she’s staring at my ass, I don’t care what she thinks of it-“

“Girl-“

“Me fucking Rosé McCorkell is never going to happen.”

“Well, as enlightening as this conversation is, it might be a little inappropriate to discuss my preferences in the office, don’t you think?”

She froze at the familiar voice behind her as Kandy quietly excused herself.

Shit.

“Cat got your tongue, Miss Foxx?”

Fucking shit.

Denali slowly stood and turned to look at her boss, who had an amused expression on her face and a file in hand.

“I believe that you left this document behind in my office.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Denali moved to retrieve the file from Rosé, trying her best to regain her composure.

“Right, yes- Let me photocopy this for you right away, Miss McCorkell.”

Rosé smirked and leaned in, her lips almost brushing against Denali’s ear.

“Strictly off the record, I do think you have a very nice ass.”

Face flushing a bright red and rendered speechless for a moment as Rosé pulled away, Denali stammered out an excuse before speeding off to the copy room, leaving behind a chuckling Rosé in her wake.

———

Denali was waiting alone for the lift at the end of the day, tapping her foot on the floor as she watched the numbers on the screen climb higher and higher.

It had been a long day, and she was still trying to recover from the embarrassing situation that had happened in the morning. She had spent the whole day actively avoiding her boss, something that wasn’t too difficult to do since she had a long list of tasks from her. Every time she had to drop something off at the older woman’s office, she made it a point to do so when she knew she was out for a meeting or when she was engaged in a call so that Rosé wouldn’t be able to say a word to her.

If she had the opportunity, Denali knew that the managing partner would say something to further humiliate or incite her.

Also, the statement that Rosé had made about her ass was still fresh and in the forefront of her mind, and something Denali had completely not expected. She knew that the two of them butted heads all the time, and that Rosé loved to challenge her secretary and pass along little comments and nicknames just to get a rise out of her. She had suspected that was the main reason that Rosé had hired her, because she was someone who fought back, but that comment about her ass? That had blindsided her.

She didn’t want to admit it, but everything Rosé did and said had an effect on her, and had been for some time now, but that was something that was entirely inappropriate.

Denali shifted her weight, watching the numbers get closer to the floor she was on when she heard the faint clicking of stilettos behind her and shut her eyes, praying to whoever was listening that the person approaching wasn’t who she thought it was, or that the elevator would arrive just before she did. Thankfully, the latter happened as the lift doors opened and Denali quickly stepped into the empty cab, immediately pressing the close button while pointedly making sure not to look up. She let out the breath that she had been unknowingly holding in as the doors slid closed, but her relief was short lived when the doors slid opened again, revealing the very same woman that she had been hoping not to see.

Fuck.

Nodding in greeting, she stepped to the side to give Rosé space, and also to put as much space as possible between the two of them. Rosé nodded back, and stood next to Denali, facing the doors as they closed and the lift slowly descended.

“So where has my little secretary been hiding the whole day?”

Denali’s hand twitched at her side. “I’ve been at my desk the entire day, Miss McCorkell, completing the tasks that you assigned me to do.”

“Is that so? So the little mouse that was scurrying in and out of my office wasn’t you?”

Swallowing a retort, Denali replied with as steady a voice as she could. “I don’t know what you mean, Miss McCorkell.”

Rosé turned her head, an eyebrow raised as she looked down at the squirming girl. Before she could say anything, the lift dinged and a group of people entered, forcing the two of them to take a step back. Denali breathed through her nose, then noticed how close Rosé was to her now in the confined space, so close she could smell the expensive Chanel No. 5 perfume that she loved to wear. Her heart was racing, and she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was the fact that Rosé was now standing close to her, or the fact that her words were replaying over and over in her mind.

Denali stilled when she felt a finger touching the back of hand. She looked down to see a perfectly manicured finger lazily tracing her knuckles before looking up at the owner of the hand, and felt all the air in her lungs escape.

Rosé was staring down at her, eyes a molten hazel and lips curved into that same infuriating smirk that drove Denali insane. She felt the other woman’s fingers slowly slip to the palm of her hand, the light touch causing heat to pool in Denali’s middle and her breath to shorten, and all the while Rosé never took her eyes off her. The younger girl swallowed and bit her lip, noting how the older woman’s heated gaze fell to her throat and then her lips, her palm tingling as Rosé continued to trace patterns on the sensitive skin of her palm.

Seconds later, their little bubble was broken when the lift dinged and people started to shuffle out. Rosé withdrew her hand, and made to leave too, but not before whispering in Denali’s ear.

“Never say never.”

Winking at the frozen girl, Rosé exited the lift, her hips swaying with each step as she left the building.

Denali was fucked.

———

The dynamics of their relationship had changed since that day. Rosé didn’t try as hard as before to get a rise out of Denali anymore. Before it seemed like she was aiming to piss her secretary off, but now it was the opposite. It was as if she was repeatedly trying to fluster her, dropping little teasing comments, purposely brushing their fingers together when passing Denali things, constantly staring intently at her with a knowing smirk on her face. It was slowly driving Denali insane.

She could handle it when Rosé was trying to piss her off, but this? This was completely different and she didn’t know how to handle this kind of attention from her. Denali always found herself blushing to her roots and stammering in response to these new interactions, which seemed to further amuse and encourage the redhead. With each interaction, Denali also found herself questioning everything.

Why was Rosé acting the way that she did?

Was she bored and simply wanted to find something to entertain her?

Was she just toying around with Denali and her emotions?

Sighing as she filled the cup of tea for Rosé’s potential new client, she shook the thoughts out of her head and walked back to the meeting room where he was waiting. Pasting on a polite smile, she pushed the glass door open and set the cup of tea on the table before a greasy looking man that looked as if he was in his late forties.

“Here’s your tea, Mister Tate.” The man smiled back at Denali, taking the cup of tea and sipping from it, all the while giving Denali a once over, much to her discomfort. Putting the cup down, he made a face. “Oh dear, there’s no sugar in this at all, is there?”

Denali blinked. He hadn’t mentioned any sugar earlier, and she had assumed that he wouldn’t need any. “My apologies, Mister Tate, let me get a fresh cup for you.” Reaching over to take back the cup, she was stopped when he grabbed onto her wrist, a sly smile on his face. “There’s no need to bother, it’s fine. After all, I have a sweet, pretty girl like you to entertain me while we wait for Miss McCorkell to arrive.”

Not another one of these men again. Forcing herself not to drop her smile, Denali replied in a tight voice. “Thank you for the compliment, Mr Tate.” She tried to politely tug her hand back to disengage his grip on her wrist, but before she knew it, he was on his feet, an arm slung over her shoulders.

“Mister Tate? No need for formalities, just call me Jim. After all, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around more often now.” Her stomach rolled at the pointed look he had in his eye, the widening smile on his face making him look even greasier. She knew his type and the implications behind his words, and had to force herself to hold in her disgust. As much as she wanted to knee him in the balls, she couldn’t do that here in the office, especially since he was a potential client of Rosé’s.

Swallowing the bile that was rising in her throat, Denali struggled to maintain being civil as she attempted to step out of his grip.

“Mister Tate, if you would kindly please let go of me, I-”

“Come now, Miss Foxx was it? Where’s your sense of hospitality? You forgot the sugar for my tea, but you look like you’ll make up for it-“

“What is going on here?”

The blonde felt a sheer sense of relief flood her when she saw the managing partner standing in the doorway of the meeting room, though the furious look in her eye was something unexpected.

Denali had never seen her this angry before.

The man however seemed completely oblivious to the rising anger of the other woman, and instead smiled at her. “Miss McCorkell! I was just getting acquainted with your lovely secretary here.”

Rosé glared at the man. “Mister Tate, I believe that my secretary doesn’t like your arm around her, and unless you’d like to lose that arm, I suggest that you take it off her.” Looking surprised, the man listened and took his arm off Denali, and she moved away, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Her eyes darted between the two as he stammered. “Miss McCorkell, we’re all adults here. I’m just having a bit of fun. Isn’t that why you keep her around? She sure is a stunner-”

Big mistake.

Rosé took a threatening step towards him, fists clenched and eyes glinting with unbridled rage at what he was implying.

“Get out.”

He gaped. “I- I beg your pardon?”

Rosé sneered, looking down at the now pale and shaking man.

“You heard me, you daft man, get out! I don’t need scum like you in my office, and I certainly don’t need your money. Now get out before I call security!”

Gaping like a fish out of water and scrambling to leave, the greasy man grabbed his bag and hurriedly left the office without looking back as Rosé kept her eyes pinned on his retreating back before turning back to face to her secretary. Denali gulped, and instinctively made to apologise, but was stopped when the older woman moved towards her and gently took her by the shoulders, examining her. “Denali, are you alright?” She asked, sliding her hands down and stopping to hold her wrists, rubbing soothing circles into her skin.

Denali hadn’t noticed, but she was shaking, and Rosé’s motions were slowly calming her down. Taking a shaky breath, Denali smiled weakly at her. “I’m fine, Miss McCorkell. Thank you for stepping in when you did.”

Rosé nodded. “Of course, how could I not? But are you sure you’re alright? Do you want to take the rest of the afternoon off?” Denali laughed drily, waving off the offer. “It’s alright, I’m fine now. It’s nothing that I’m not used to.” Rosé’s thumbs stopped moving and she frowned at Denali.

“What do you mean?” Denali blinked. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that.

“I mean I’ve had my fair share of creeps before-“ She explained with a fake laugh, trying to lighten the mood when she saw Rosé’s face darkening.

That wasn’t good.

“You mean here? In my office?”

“Well, er-“ Rosé stepped closer into Denali’s space, raising a hand to cup her face as she stared into the younger’s eyes, voice low as she demanded. “The truth please.” Denali swallowed, feeling the slightly murderous intent that the other woman was exuding, which contradicted the gentle hold that she had on Denali. Hesitantly, Denali nodded.

“..yes.”

Rosé clenched her jaw, taking a second to process what Denali had confirmed, before stepping back and letting go of her secretary. Denali could see that her hands were clenched into fists that Rosé quickly stuffed into the pockets of her suit when she noticed Denali looking at them, as if wanting to hide how she was trying to not lose her temper.

“I want their names.”

Denali frowned, confused. “Wha- Why?”

“So I can tear up their contracts. Anyone who touches you is not worth my time.” Denali’s eyes widened. This sounded like a rash decision, and she didn’t want to cost Rosé or the company money. Breaking contracts meant loss of income, which wasn’t worth it. Not when it was just a simple matter of harassment that she should be able to handle herself. “But Miss McCorkell, it’s not worth it, I can-“

Rosé shot Denali a sharp look at that, cutting her off. “No buts. I want their names on my desk by the end of the day.” Denali swallowed and nodded stiffly as Rosé held her gaze, eyes hardened before softening as she sighed. The managing partner turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway to give her one last meaningful look.

“Denali, don’t ever think that you’re not worth it.”

And she left, leaving behind a wide eyed and blushing Denali staring after her.

———

I have been hung up on the idea of writing a fic with a flirty boss Rosé and feisty secretary Denali. The sexual tension just writes itself.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (:

xoxo Vera

#rosenali #rosénali #rosnali #rpdr fic #burning up fic #work wives verse #inkpression writes

26 notes · View notes

ridiculousn3sswrites · 5 years ago

Text

Closer

*Thomas Jefferson x Reader

*Summary: Reader is very into one of her housemates. After a couple house parties, she finds out he’s very into her.

*Warnings: Swearing, drinking, (mentions of) weed smoking, jealousy, insecurity, smut, grinding, hickies, tiddy sucking, fingering, vaginal sex, (my attempt at) dirty talk, a lot of consent check-ins, morning after awkwardness

*A/N: I’VE FINALLY BEEN DRIVEN TO WRITE SMUT. Like, this was hard for me but I had fun writing it (this fic is 8k words oops). Also sorry if it’s not the best, I really did try.

My Ko-Fi

**********

You had two major rules for living with people: never sleep with them, and definitely never develop feelings for them. In your two years of living in the dorms you’d managed to abide by those rules, but you faced the biggest challenge to your rule the second you stopped living in the dorms. In your third year, you moved into a housing option that was a lot cheaper than the dorms or a regular apartment. The house you moved into was pretty small - only 12 people - so everyone saw a lot of each other. Cue the start of your troubles.

When you first had a video call with the other members of your house, your eyes immediately were drawn to one corner of the screen. Sure, you’d joined in the middle of a conversation so his box was highlighted, but you were sure you would have been watching his little screen anyways. You could tell he was sitting in bed - wherever he was - and he was already familiar with a few of the people in the call from the way he was chatting with them. He had a neatly trimmed beard, curls forming a halo around his face, a bright smile, and a pair of black glasses just pulling the look together, even if you didn’t really know what look that was.

When he gave his little introduction piece, you knew this would be trouble. Not only was his voice attractive, he also had a bit of a southern accent, which just doubled his attractiveness. Everyone went through their introductions, you being one of the last people because you didn’t volunteer until a lot later on. When people had the chance to ask questions, the guy - Thomas - decided to speak up. “Is that a (favorite show) poster behind you?”

You looked back at your wall like you didn’t know exactly what he was talking about. You were just surprised he pointed it out. “Oh, uh, yeah! It is!”

“Nice!” Thomas told you, giving you a bright smile. You could feel your breath catch at the sight, but you managed to smile back. As the call ended with one other person giving their introduction, you could already tell you were in trouble. You knew you couldn’t pursue anything with Thomas even if it happened that he also found you attractive. It wasn’t only that you’d be living with him, no; he was also one of the house managers, so if things ended bad, he could really make your living situation not the best. But still, there was nothing stopping you from finding him attractive.

When you moved in, you immediately ran into Thomas. You knew you were supposed to check in with Angelica so she could get you your keys, but she was helping someone else at the moment. “Hey, you’re (y/n), right?” Thomas asked, sitting at the dining room table as you just stood there waiting for Angelica.

“Y-yeah, I am,” you stuttered, silently cursing how nervous you were around him. This was your first time meeting the guy in person, and you were really going to make a fool of yourself, weren’t you. You looked back to where Angelica had disappeared upstairs, wondering just how long she would take.

“Well, I’m Thomas,” he introduced himself, standing from his seat. “I can take you on a tour of the house while you wait for Angelica if you want.”

“Uhm, sure, that’d be great!” You immediately accepted, feeling your face warm from the entire interaction. Thomas walked up next to you, nodding for you to follow him. Your parents were waiting outside for you to get your keys so they could help you move in, but since you had some time, why not?

**********

It didn’t take long for everyone to start feeling comfortable around each other. The only real issues there were in the house were arguments Thomas and Alexander would get into, but even those wouldn’t get too bad. Within a month of everyone moving in, it really started to feel like a little family. Which made your attraction to Thomas that much worse. You thought it would go away once you got to know the guy and it would fade into a friendship, but you were dead wrong. The more you got to know the guy, the harder you fell. The way he joked, the way he made sure you weren’t talked over (and if you were, he always made sure to come back to you and ask what you were going to say), almost everything about him made you realize it wasn’t just surface level attraction.

By the end of the first month, a few of your housemates - John, Alexander, and Laf - planned a little party in the living room. It was just for your house, but it really sounded like they were planning to throw a rager. You weren’t really one for parties, but it sounded like it could be fun. The fact that Thomas said he would be going had nothing to do with it.

When the day of the party came, you didn’t really know what you were going to do. You knew Thomas was going to be there, and Peggy really wanted to go, so after spending the afternoon deciding, you started getting ready for the party. You showered, pulled on a dress you saved for going out (not that you really went out in the first place), put your makeup on, and just sat there waiting for Peggy to get ready.

“This is gonna be so much fun! I saw Alex and John come in with the drinks for later and they bought so much,” Peggy gushed as she tried deciding between dresses. She finally turned to you. “Which one looks better?”

“Depends on the look you’re going for. The one on the right is definitely cute, but the one on the left is great if you’re trying to look hot,” you told her after a moment of looking at the options. She put the dress on the right back in the closet. Once she actually knew what she wanted to wear, she quickly got ready. As she was getting ready, there was a pounding on the door. Peggy went to go look, but whoever had done that was already gone. You already knew you were running a bit late, but who ever really showed up to parties on time?

The music wasn’t too loud when you and Peggy got to the living room half an hour after the party was supposed to start. The lights were off, save for one of those multi-color party lights, balloons were all over the floor, and some colorful YouTube video was playing on the TV. Alex and John were already drinking, quickly pulling Peggy to the booze table to make her something. Herc and Laf were sitting on one of the couches, just chatting, and Thomas was hanging near the pool table, talking to Maria. Maria looked gorgeous, red satin slip dress hugging her figure and sheer thigh-high stockings creating an image you could only hope to compete with. You left the living room, going to get yourself some water from the kitchen.

Just going across the hall was a huge difference. Aaron was sitting at the table, laptop in front of him as he worked on something. Angelica and Eliza were in the kitchen, making something that you were definitely going to try later. “Do you know what they’re making in there?” You asked Aaron as you filled your cup.

“No idea, but I know I’m going to have to clean it afterwards,” Aaron complained, looking up from his work. “You look nice.”

“Thanks. Are you going?” You nodded your head towards the living room.

“No, I have work to do tonight. Have fun, though.” To be honest, that was probably the longest conversation you’d had with Aaron. He normally kept to himself, except when he was dragged into hangouts with the house by other people. You took your cup of water and went back to the living room, seeing Peggy, John, and Alex huddled around Alex’s phone as they put more songs in the queue. Thomas was drinking something from a mason jar, though in the dim light you really couldn’t see what it was.

“Hey, (y/n), you look cute,” Thomas said as he walked up to you. You immediately looked down at your cup and mumbled a thank you. There was just something about being called cute that hit different, especially when it comes from someone you were very attracted to. “Do you want something to drink?”

“I’m good, I’m playing adult tonight,” you told him, holding up your cup a little. You finally looked at Thomas, the colored lights casting a mix of reds and blues on his skin. He was wearing a button up shirt, different from the t-shirts and tanks you’d seen him in before. When you looked a little further down, you saw he was wearing basketball shorts. That would just make it easier to- you stopped the thought there. You didn’t know where it came from, you couldn’t even blame any alcohol in your system. Instead, you blamed it on the colored lights in the dark room, creating an almost intimate atmosphere.

“Thank you. Would you mind cutting John off when he starts getting a little, you know?” You nodded. You did know. John was a bit of a sloppy drunk, but he hated when anyone pointed it out. That’s why every drinking night needed a designated adult. Thomas took another drink before nodding to the empty couch. “You wanna sit? No one’s really dancing yet.”

You nodded again, following Thomas to the couch. Even when the music picked up, only a few people were really dancing. Thomas got up a few times to refill his cup, but he never really left your side. The two of you talked through the night, and you found yourselves getting closer as the night went on. His attention was entirely on you, even brushing off Maria when she tried to pull him to dance. There were a few songs where you actually wanted to dance, and Thomas practically jumped at the chance to dance with you. Eventually the music changed to slower stuff, and you went back to sitting down with Thomas.

You really tried to stop your mind from racing at the proximity, but you couldn’t help it. As the two of you talked, the lights still dancing across his skin, you could see yourself closing the small gap, kissing him. Every now and then he’d brush his fingertips across your skin, but you couldn’t tell if it was intentional or not. Your skin burned with the slight brushes. Your mind ran to what his touch would feel like if it was more purposeful, how his skin would feel under your fingers. When he leaned forward, brushing some hair from your face, you wondered if he would always be this gentle.

Thomas was mid-sentence when it finally became too much. You took the chance, leaning in and pressing a questioning kiss to his lips. He tensed, and you immediately went to pull back. When he realized what you were doing, he brought his hand up to the back of your head, holding your face to his. The kiss started gentle, but it got more insistent as it went on. You could feel the party around you just melt away as the two of you kissed, your hands feeling his arms as you let yourself fall victim to your wants. You couldn’t tell if the kiss had lasted for minutes or hours, but you knew you must’ve looked a mess.

“Do you want to come up to my room?” Thomas asked, breathless and low enough for just you to hear. You nodded, and Thomas immediately stood, leading you by the hand. You could hear John’s drunken cheers as you and Thomas went up the stairs. His room wasn’t far from the stairs, and it didn’t take long for you to end up in his bed. His body lightly pinned yours on the bed, one of his thighs between yours. Thomas broke the kiss, only to trail kisses down your neck as his hands ran up and down your body.

“Thomas, please,” you said, not really sure what you were asking for.

“I know, Sugar.” You could feel his smirk against your skin. “I want you too.”

“I think I’m going to call it a night,” Thomas said, standing up. You were shocked at his sudden announcement. It wasn’t even just to you, he announced it to the whole party. He gave you a small smile before turning to leave the room. Just before he left, he turned around once more. “Reminder that quiet hours start in an hour, adjust the music accordingly.”

As soon as Thomas left, you could feel your social battery dying. You should’ve known better than to allow yourself to fantasize about what could’ve happened that night, just because he was paying attention to you. It didn’t take long for you to call it a night after that, just feeling exhaustion that wasn’t there before as you took off your makeup and changed into some sleep clothes. As you laid in bed, waiting for sleep to come to you, you couldn’t help as your mind replayed the night and your fantasies. The last thought you had was of the way Thomas looked in the colored lights, and the phantom feeling of his lips on yours, even though you never actually felt them.

**********

In the week following the party, you and Thomas went back to just how you were before. You were a little disappointed, but your mind immediately went to justifying the change. Or rather, lack of change. He’d been drinking a bit. He knew you felt out of place with all the drinking and weed smoking going on. He probably wanted to make sure you were feeling okay since you’d had a few conversations about how quickly your social battery died. There were all of these possibilities, but nothing was ever confirmed. So you just went back to how things were.

Then Laf planted a seed in your mind. It was delivery time - that time of night when everyone’s packages got delivered and people would either grab their packages and open them in their room, or open them in the dining room in front of everyone else. You’d just ordered a cute romper in an attempt to feel something, so you opened it in front of the rest of the group. “That’s so cute! You know, it seems like something the type of girl Thomas goes after would wear,” Laf announced when you held up the romper.

“What are you talking about?” James asked as he opened his own package, not even looking up. It was some lights for the little garden he was starting in his room. Maria was very invested in the new shoes she’d ordered, but you could tell she was still listening.

“They’d be cute together! You guys should go on a date, I’ll set it up,” Laf continued, focusing his attention on you now. “I ship them! They’re my new ship!”

“What’s going on?” Thomas asked, coming out from the kitchen. You looked down, folding the romper as fast as you could.

“Nothing,” Laf said. You looked up just in time to see Laf wink at you.

“Alright.” You could tell Thomas didn’t believe him by the side-eye he was giving him, but you were glad Laf didn’t announce it any louder than he already did. When you and Peggy got back to your room, you couldn’t help but tell her about the seed Laf had planted. Sure, you found Thomas very attractive, but the concept of a relationship with him had never entered your mind. Until now. Of course Peggy just made fun of you, but you knew it was all in good fun.

It took two days for that seed to be completely destroyed. You started to notice Thomas and Maria hanging out a lot more than they did before; they were almost constantly talking to each other, and there was once that you went upstairs to use the bathroom and saw Maria leaving Thomas’s room. You were in the living room watching a movie with the Schuylers when Thomas came in. “Hey, Maria and I want to watch something after, can you text me when you’re done?” Thomas asked Angelica, not even acknowledging anyone else.

“Yeah, sure,” Angelica told him. With that, he left the living room.

“Your boyfriend’s cheating on you,” Peggy teased, not loud enough that anyone else could hear her.

“Can we not do this right now?” You whispered, already feeling your chest tighten. Of course you should’ve known. People like Thomas never went for people like you, they would always end up with people like Maria. Why would you let Laf even give you the slightest bit of hope that things would be different? Peggy’s face immediately fell when she saw just how you looked.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but you just shook your head. Why was she sorry? It wasn’t her fault. This was just on you.

For the next week, you avoided Thomas and Maria as much as you could. You took your dinners to your room to just eat and watch (favorite show), you didn’t really talk to them if you were in the same room as them, you didn’t go out of your way to hang out with them. If they noticed, they never said anything to you. Then again, it wasn’t really like you gave them the chance to.

**********

You wanted to keep your distance from your housemates, but John pulled you into agreeing to go to yet another house party. It would just be for your house again, but this time he’d managed to get everyone to agree to come. He didn’t even let you be late, grabbing you and Peggy from your room as soon as the party started. So there you were, standing by the pool table, sipping some drink that was way too strong (Aaron was designated adult this time), just watching the party around you. Maria was already there, wearing yet another dress that made her look absolutely gorgeous, but Thomas was nowhere to be seen.

“James, where’s your friend?” John practically yelled over the pounding music.

“He’s coming, don’t worry,” James said, rolling his eyes. You tensed at the confirmation, even though you knew he was going to be there. Before you could really think about it, Laf pulled you onto the dancefloor. Laf and Herc made sure that you were enjoying yourself, dancing with them and making sure you didn’t have the chance to think about it too much. Laf knew everything that was going on, trying to tell you that he was sorry about the entire ‘shipping’ thing. You just waved it off, not wanting to let it ruin the fun you were having.

You don’t know how many songs you danced with them before you needed to take a break and get some water. They finally let you out of their sights as soon as you promised to come back the second you were done. You appreciated their concern for you, but it was starting to get a little stifling. As you stood by the sink, glass stained with the red of your lipstick, you let your mind wander once again. You had been too busy dancing to pay attention to the party around you, but you guess Thomas must’ve arrived at some point. Had he been dancing with Maria? Did he even care you were there?

It was like the universe took your questioning as manifestations, and you wondered why it didn’t do that for literally anything else you tried manifesting as Thomas walked into the room. “I thought I saw you leave. You look really cute.”

You looked down at your outfit, taking in the romper that you’d bought not too long ago - a button down with a thick belt at the waist. You tried to ignore the way your heart fluttered at that, tried to remember the past few weeks where Thomas was completely focused on Maria, but your heart seemed to not get the message. “You know, you never compliment me outside of parties,” you decided to address the situation head on. “Is Maria waiting for you?”

“What?” Thomas seemed like he genuinely had no idea what was going on. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“I mean, the two of you have been spending a ton of time together, I’d expect you’d come to the party together,” you almost snapped.

“What about Laf and Herc? You seemed pretty close to them tonight,” Thomas immediately argued. You should’ve known he wouldn’t just let you snap at him without biting back.

“They’re just making sure I have a good time. Like you did last time,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna go back.”

You heard Thomas say your name as you went back to the living room, but you kept walking. When you got back, Laf and Herc were immediately by your side. You gave them a soft smile, which they quickly returned. It didn’t take long for exhaustion to start to set in, your legs starting to hurt and your eyes starting to tire. You sat down in the corner of the couch, watching the party continue around you. It didn’t take long for Thomas to take the spot next to you. “I’m sorry.”

You just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Maria needed help with her statistics class and we’ve been spending time together because of that. I didn’t realize you’d take it the wrong way.”

“I’m so stupid.” Thomas looked confused. “I should be the one apologizing. I just kind of decided you didn’t like me.”

Thomas scooted closer, taking your hand in his. “Yeah, I kind of realized that. I really do like you, though.”

“Cool,” you said, not knowing how to really react in this situation. Thomas laughed, shaking his head as you felt the heat rise in your face. “I… uhm… I’m kinda feeling tired. I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

Thomas looked dejected before understanding crossed his features. “Your social battery?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Is it even midnight?”

Thomas checked his phone. “Just about. Do you want to come to my room?”

You stared at him blankly, your heart racing at the question. It was almost exactly like your fantasy at the last party, not that he’d know it. He had to know how that sounded, right? It seemed to take him a second to realize it, eyes widening. “I mean, just to hang out somewhere calm. I want to spend more time with you.”

“And what’s wrong with my room? People will notice if I go upstairs instead of just down the hall,” you argued, leaning closer to him.

“I know you have a bunk and I don’t want to sit on Peggy’s bed.”

“You could sit at my desk.”

“Under your bunk? That kind of defeats the purpose of hanging out.” Thomas rolled his eyes at your obvious deflection. You were just giving him a hard time at this point, still a little vindictive even if the only real issue over the past few weeks had been because of you.

“Alright, but don’t be surprised if I end up just passing out,” you agreed. Thomas gave you a blinding smile. “How are we gonna do this? If we leave together people are gonna talk.”

“Let them,” Thomas said, standing up and offering his hand to you. You took it.

Amazingly, no one seemed to notice the two of you leaving except for Aaron who shot you a pained look. You felt kind of bad for leaving him alone to everyone else, but your social battery really was dying and Thomas was offering an escape. He lead you up the stairs, down the hall a little to his room. The door was already slightly open - just so he wouldn’t have to carry around his key - but he opened the door further to let you in first. It was your first time seeing Thomas’s room, and it really fit him. He had a few pictures on the wall above his desk, the desk itself was neatly organized - textbooks stacked on one side, laptop in the center, a few pencils next to it. His bed was pushed to the corner near his desk, black comforter and deep magenta pillowcases different from the typical college dude bedding.

“You can sit down if you want,” Thomas said, walking over to his closet. He grabbed a t-shirt from one of the drawers. “I’m just gonna go change my shirt, you can sit on the bed or the chair, whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

Thomas left the room, and you decided to sit on the bed, still unsure of what you were doing. Your fantasy from the last party kept replaying in your mind, reminding you of just how different these circumstances were. You pressed a couple fingers to your wrist, feeling your racing pulse. You didn’t know why you were so nervous. You were pretty sure nothing was going to happen, but the images of Thomas kissing you, him touching you, it made your mind go crazy. Before you could talk yourself out of it, Thomas came back. “So, uh, what do you wanna do? We could listen to some music, or watch a movie…”

“Can we just listen to some music? Like, something softer though,” you said. Just listening to music seemed less intimate than watching a movie on his laptop with him, even though you really didn’t know why. Thomas nodded, turning on his speaker on his desk. He handed you his phone.

“You can choose,” he told you, sitting on the bed next to you. He pressed his back against the wall, watching you as you shared one of your playlists to his phone. Even though you could feel him watching, you missed the way his eyes took in your profile in the harsh light of his room. “Do you mind if I switch off the main light and turn on my desk light instead?”

“You know, this is sounding more and more sus as you keep talking,” you told him as your music started playing from his speaker. You turned the volume down a little, letting the music be just loud enough to provide some background noise. It was just what you needed to recharge. “But yeah, the ceiling lights are really harsh.”

Thomas got up to fix the lighting situation before taking his spot next to you once again. The two of you just sat there quietly, close but not quite touching, letting the soft sounds of your music wash over you. A few songs passed before you decided to just make your move, scooting closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder. You were still pretty drained from the party, and the excuse was ready if he was going to question you. He didn’t.

When he brought his hand up to play with your hair, you didn’t say anything. You enjoyed the gentle brush of his hand, almost as if he was afraid to disturb you. You closed your eyes, focusing on his touch. He started near your hairline, his fingers tracing a curve behind your ear, whispering down your jawline for a second before repeating the process. Time wasn’t real in your little bubble, the only clue being the songs changing in the background. “(Y/n)?” Thomas asked, voice low like he was trying not to break the atmosphere.

You hummed in response, eyes still closed, and you could feel Thomas’s soft laughter more than you could hear it. “I thought you fell asleep.”

“If you keep playing with my hair I just might,” you teased, smiling as you opened your eyes to look up at him. You were slightly taken aback at the way he looked at you, but you tried not to show it. It took you a second before you could finally place it - adoration. It was completely soft, something you never really saw on him before. You could see him leaning in, but he stopped a hairsbreadth away. You waited to see if he would close the miniscule gap or if you should, but then he spoke.

“Can I?” He practically whispered, bringing his hand up to caress your jaw. You nodded even as your heart pounded in your chest. Thomas stayed for a second as though he was giving you a chance to back out, and when you didn’t take it, he closed the gap. The kiss started out gentle, like he was still worried you would change your mind. You were enjoying yourself and the slow pace, but when your mind started taunting you with the things that could happen, you decided to take a chance. You brushed the tip of your tongue against his bottom lip, and he gladly took your sign to deepen the kiss.

Thomas kept one hand cupping your jaw, but the other moved to rest on your hip. The feeling of his hand sent a jolt through you, even through the layer of clothing still separating his skin from yours. You put a hand on the bed to reposition yourself, but Thomas pulled you onto his lap, your core resting on him. You let out a small gasp at the sudden move. Thomas pressed a kiss to your jaw. “Is this okay?” He mumbled against your skin.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, it’s good.” You were a little flustered at the position, but you definitely weren’t complaining. Thomas grasped your chin, tilting your face to look directly in your eyes. Your gaze darted down to his lips, trying to look anywhere but his eyes. You could tell he was studying you, your reactions. He brushed his thumb against your bottom lip, dragging it down just slightly.

“You’re so damn cute,” he murmured before kissing you breathless. Your hands went up to cup his jaw, holding him to you, while his settled on your waist. You went to adjust your position, accidentally grinding against him. Thomas let out the most sinful groan, breaking the kiss to rest his head on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, it just felt so-”

He was cut off by another groan as you grinded against him again. You bit your lip, feeling him harden underneath you. “Don’t apologize.”

Thomas brought you back down for another kiss, his hand on your hip now guiding your movements against him. You softly whined into the kiss, every sensation heightened by the dim room, the soft music. He broke the kiss, laughing slightly as you tried to chase his lips. Before you could say anything, he started kissing down your neck, nipping and soothing the spots with his tongue. As he worked, you started grinding against him faster, needing something to ease the heat pooling in you.

“I need you so bad,” you whined as he worked a spot on your collarbone. Thomas let go of your skin with a wet noise, looking up at you with hooded eyes.

“You sound so pretty when you’re needy,” Thomas said, smirking up at you. He brought his hands up to the buttons of your romper, the question evident in his eyes. You nodded, and he started slowly undoing your romper, pressing a kiss to each inch of skin revealed to him. “You’re gorgeous, Sugar.”

A shiver ran through you at his words, but you ignored it, instead opting to reach for the hem of his t-shirt. “What’s fair’s fair?”

“Of course.” Thomas took the chance to flip your positions, taking off his shirt as your back bounced slightly against the bed. You couldn’t help your sharp inhale as his shirt hit the floor. You knew he was built from what you saw around the house, but seeing him without any barriers was a completely different situation. His abs were solid, something you saw briefly the one time he lifted his shirt to clean his glasses in front of you, so you took the chance to drink in the sight. As your eyes trailed back up his body, he saw him looking down at you with a smirk. He was attractive and he knew it.

He was getting a little too smug for your liking. You wouldn’t normally consider yourself a bold person, but your next move definitely was. You slightly lifted yourself up, undoing your belt and smoothly sliding it off. You pushed the top of the romper off your shoulders, taking a quick glance to see Thomas’s attention completely on you. His smirk had fallen, but his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. You reached behind you, unhooking your bra in one movement (a silent victory on your part). Thomas eased himself down beside you, trying to hide his eagerness, but you could see it in his eyes. The second you tossed your bra to the side, Thomas was back on you, kissing you deeply as his hands explored your chest.

Whatever upperhand you had was gone as Thomas’s thumb ran back and forth over your nipple, drawing a keening whine from the back of your throat. You could feel his smirk as his lips left yours, kissing down your neck again. He nipped at your collarbone, licking at the spot before trailing his tongue across the tops of your breasts. Your hand flew up to hold the back of his head, needing to feel more of his mouth on you.

“You’re so responsive for me, Sugar,” Thomas hummed. “The way your body just acts on its own, the little noises you make for me, it’s intoxicating. All I’ve done is kiss you, we haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.”

“Do you get off on the sound of your own voice?” You asked, gasping as his hand kneaded your breast. His movements were lazy, like he was ready to just have a conversation about this while teasing you to the point of madness.

“No, but I can tell you do.” He wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t need to point it out like that. Your silence spoke volumes. He decided to take pity on you, kissing and sucking on the breast he wasn’t kneading. Thomas’s first licks across your nipple were teasing, watching your reactions. You knew you couldn’t be loud - you couldn’t even step in the house without someone hearing you - but the electricity running through you at his touch was making that insanely difficult for you. When he used just the right amount of teeth, even you were surprised at the moan you let out.

Thomas didn’t make any move to quiet you, instead switching over to the other breast. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, switching between holding him to your breast and fisting your hand in the blanket beside you. You tried pressing your thighs together, but Thomas’s body on yours made that almost impossible. He grinded down on you, letting out his own little groan at the slight relief the pressure offered. Thomas brought one of his hands to your waist, teasing at where your romper was still on your body. You whined when his mouth left your skin, not that you’d admit to it. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes, please,” you told him. Thomas sat up, watching you for any signs of discomfort as he fully took your romper off. As he went to shed his own shorts, you leaned back on your elbows, watching. Even though his basketball shorts had already done little to conceal his arousal, seeing the tent in his boxers sent another rush of arousal through you. You spread your legs for Thomas to take his rightful spot between them, which he quickly did. He brought his hand to your core, running his fingers over the fabric there.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Thomas groaned, rubbing a little harder. “This all because of me?”

“You know it is,” you tried snipping, but his thumb finding your clit through your panties made it sound more like a plead for something. “Thomas, please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” he teased. “You want more already?”

You nodded. It was almost comical how fast your panties came off, but feeling his fingers against your lips quickly threw any humor you found in the situation out the window. He ran a finger along your slit, watching as you threw your head back against his pillows. You didn’t see the smirk that graced his lips again, watching the way you quickly fell apart under his touch. He hadn’t even done that much, but he wanted to see what’d you do when he actually took you apart.

The wetness between your legs glistened even in the dim light, and Thomas unknowingly licked his lips. There would be time to taste you later - he had the feeling if he went now, he’d be there all night. He dipped his finger into your entrance, teasing like he had been all night. You let out a soft whimper, half ready to beg, but then he gave you what you needed. He carefully inserted his finger into you, feeling around for your spot while his thumb worked your clit. Your soft noises were driving him crazy; even though they weren’t loud, they were mesmerizing, and he wondered how you’d sound if you didn’t have to worry about being overheard.

As he pumped his finger in you, he made sure to drag it along your wall, dragging out every little whimper he could. You tried to close your thighs on his hand, but he held them open with his free hand. Thomas wanted to see what he was doing to you, see your arousal glistening on his finger. Once he was sure you were ready, he slid another finger into you, drawing your loudest moan yet at the stretch. He curled his fingers, sending a shock of pleasure through you. He smiled when he felt you shudder, knowing he found it.

Thomas’s attention on your clit and the pressure on your spot was bringing you to your edge and fast. Your fisted hand in his sheet was pulling it down, your other hand trying to muffle the noises you were making. You weren’t normally so vocal in bed, but the way Thomas was playing your body just brought out this side that you never knew about. “I’m close,” you panted out the warning.

“Then cum for me, Sugar. Cum on my fingers.” It wasn’t an order, but your body listened to him like it was. You bit into your arm to hide your moans, and you swore you were close to breaking skin. Thomas worked you through it, his fingers slowing considerably but not quite stopping until the last shudder wracked through your body. He pulled his fingers out, looking at them covered in your juices. “Look at that, Sugar. You got me all messy.”

Before you even had the chance to be embarrassed, Thomas took his fingers in his mouth, making sure to completely clean them of your essence. You thought he couldn’t get more attractive, but the blissed out look on his face as he tasted you proved you wrong. You let out a soft whisper of ‘fuck’ at the sight. Your body was weak from your orgasm, but that didn’t stop you from sitting up so you could kiss him properly. You pulled back from the kiss, holding his face in your hands. “Thomas… do you want to?”

“Yeah, if you’re okay with it,” Thomas said, bringing one of his hands to cover yours. You rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t,” you sassed. You let out a shriek as Thomas pinned you back down to the bed.

“You’re so annoying.” Thomas kissed you, grinding his still-covered erection into you for a second before he got back up to dig in his desk drawer. He emerged a few seconds later, condom in hand. “Perks of being a manager.”

“Aren’t those supposed to be if we need them, not your personal use?” you decided to tease him.

“Technically this is you needing them,” Thomas laughed as he pulled down his boxers. His length stood proudly, precum beading at the tip. He stroked himself, watching you squirm on his bed. You could feel your body growing hot at his intense gaze, slight embarrassment making you want to cover up, but heavy arousal beat that out. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from his hand on his dick, his thumb rubbing the head, smearing the precum. After what felt like ages of the agonizing tease, Thomas finally rolled the condom on.

Thomas climbed back over you, caging you in between his arms. He dipped his head, catching your lips in a kiss that was softer than any of the ones you’d shared before. When he broke the kiss, he only separated a breath away. “Are you ready?”

“Please, Thomas, I need to feel you.” Thomas slowly dragged one hand down your body, reaching between the two of you to line up with your entrance.

“Tell me if you need me to do anything,” he said before finally sliding into you. You whined at the stretch, just bordering on the right side of uncomfortable. Thomas kissed you as he stayed still, waiting for you to get used to his size. After a second, you rolled your hips, needing him to move. Thomas picked up on your movement, giving a testing thrust. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Please, Thomas, move.” Thomas nodded, keeping his pace slow, but still hitting every spot that had you crying out for him. You tried to cover your mouth to muffle your noises, but Thomas stopped you, instead threading his fingers with yours and holding your hand to the bed. He kissed at your neck, and you could tell he was leaving marks, but you really didn’t care. The feeling of him inside you was driving you wild, but you needed him to move faster. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

“What is it, baby? You want me to move faster? But I like feeling you around me, gripping my dick so nice,” Thomas panted into your ear. Even though he was teasing, he still sped up his movements. You knew you were talking, but you didn’t really know what you were saying. The only thing you really registered was a stream of curse words and pleads for more, even though you really didn’t know what more you were asking for.

You could feel the heat pooling in you, so close but not quite there. You choked out a warning, your walls squeezing around him. His thrusts were getting faster and sloppier, just hinting that Thomas was nearing his end. “C’mon, baby, just a little longer. I’m almost there too,” Thomas panted into your ear, pressing his face into your neck.

You scratched your nails down his back, working your hips against his as you tried to reach your peak. Thomas nudged the side of your face, bringing his lips to yours. He brought a hand down between your bodies, feeling blindly for a second before finding your clit. You moaned into the kiss, unable to control it any longer. You broke the kiss, moans filling the room as Thomas worked you through it. Thomas followed soon after, unrestrained groans mingling with your own noises. He pumped into you a few more times before easing himself out of you, laying down next to you.

You laid there, letting the pleasant soreness settle in your body. You looked over at Thomas as he threw out the condom before sitting up and looking around for your romper. You saw it crumpled near the foot of his bed, and as you were pulling it on, you couldn’t help but make a little quip. “So that was fun.”

“Yeah, it really wa- why are you getting dressed?”

“Because I need to go back downstairs?”

“Stay with me,” he said, climbing back in bed beside you and wrapping his arms around you. “I”ll get you a shirt, you can go clean up in the bathroom, we can stay and cuddle…”

You had to admit, that all sounded very tempting. Then again, you had to think about the walk of shame you’d be doing. Either you could do it now when it wasn’t likely anyone was awake still, or you could do it in the morning before anyone else was up. Thomas pressed a kiss to your neck. “Alright, I guess I can stay.”

He gave you a bright smile before hopping up off the bed again. He grabbed his boxers from the floor and pulled them on before going to grab you a shirt. Once the shirt was on, you checked the hallway and bolted to the bathroom to clean up. By the time you got back to Thomas’s room, the music was off, and Thomas was in bed, scrolling on his phone. He looked over at you, the same bright smile on his face again.

“Hey,” you said, suddenly feeling shy. You’d just slept with the guy, and you were wearing his shirt, but now you didn’t know what to say.

“Hey.” He put his phone down on the desk before pulling his legs in so you could climb in next to him. Once you were in bed, you sat there, trying to figure out what to do. He wrapped his arm around your middle, pulling you into him. You took a deep breath, letting yourself relax into his hold. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Stop worrying so much, go to sleep.”

You couldn’t help but listen to him.

**********

The first thing you registered was the fact that you were not in your bed. You knew the sheets felt different, your stuffed bear was not next to you, and there was definitely someone sleeping right beside you. It took a second for your half-asleep mind to piece together what had happened the night before, but once it did, you couldn’t help the word that slipped from your lips. “Fuck.”

“We already did that, Sugar,” Thomas mumbled from beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. He nuzzled into your neck, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t make you melt.

“Thomas,” you trailed off, not knowing what you were supposed to say. You lived with this guy, and would for at least 7 more months. Not only did you live with this guy, he was a manager for the house you lived in. That broke some of the most major rules you had for not only living with other people, but dating in general. Wait, were you even dating now?

“Shush, it’s still before noon. We have some more time.” You didn’t know what exactly he meant by that, but you let yourself relax into his hold. You should probably have this conversation with him when he wasn’t half asleep.

You stayed in bed with him for another hour before you finally went down to your own room. You waited for the hallway to go completely quiet and made your way down the stairs, only to see Peggy, Alex, and John sitting at the dinner table. “Look who finally made her appearance. So, how was Thomas?” John asked, a sly smile on his face.

“I just ended up passing out in his room after the party,” you tried lying, not meeting any of their eyes.

“So that’s why you’re wearing his shirt?” Peggy jumped in. Before you could even try to defend yourself with more lies, Alex spoke.

“The walls here are way too thin to try lying about things like that.”

#thomas jefferson x reader #thomas jefferson imagine #hamilton imagine #reader insert #smut

211 notes · View notes

qqueenofhades · 5 years ago

Note

If/when they make a Joe/Nicky prequel movie, what are some of the Dos and Don’ts for them, with regards to historical accuracy. Like, what do you think they should include, and what do you think they should avoid?

Oof. This is a GREAT question, and also designed to give me a chance to ramble on in a deeply, deeply self-indulgent fashion. That is now what will proceed to happen. Consider yourself warned. So if they were miraculously to be like “well that qqueenofhades person on tumblr seems like she knows what she’s talking about, let’s hire her to consult on this production!”, here are some of the things I would tell them.

First off, a question I have in fact asked my students when teaching the crusades in class is whether you could actually show the sack of Jerusalem on screen. Like... if you’re making a film about the First Crusade, what kind of choices are you going to make? What narrative viewpoint are you going to uphold throughout the story? Are you actually going to show a slaughter of Muslim and Jewish inhabitants that some chroniclers described as causing enough blood to reach up to the knees of horses? (Whether it actually did this is beside the point; the point is that the sack went far beyond the accepted conventions of warfare and struck everybody involved in it as particularly horrific.) Because when you’re making a film about the crusades, you are also making it by nature for a modern audience that has particular understandings of Christian/Muslim conflict, religious warfare and/or tolerance, the War on Terror, the modern clash over ISIS, Trump’s Muslim ban, and so forth. The list goes on and on. So you’re never making a straight, unbiased historical adaptation, even if you’re going off the text of primary sources. You’re still constructing it and presenting it in a deliberate and curated fashion, and you can bet that whichever way you come down, your audience will pick up on that.

Let’s take the most recent example of a high-profile crusades film: Kingdom of Heaven from 2005. I’ve written a book chapter on how the narrative choices of KoH, aside from its extensive fictionalization of its subject matter to start with, make it crystal clear that it is a film made by a well-meaning Western liberal filmmaker (Ridley Scott) four years after 9/11 and two years after the invasion of Iraq, when the sympathy from 9/11 was wearing off and everyone saw America/Great Britain and the Bush/Blair coalition overreaching itself in yet another arrogant imperial adventure into the Middle East. Depending on how old you are, you may or may not remember the fact that Bush explicitly called the War on Terror a “crusade” at the start, and then was quickly forced to walk it back once it alarmed his European allies (yes, back then, as bad as America was, it still did have those) with its intellectual baggage. They KNEW exactly what images and tropes they were invoking. It is also partly why medieval crusade studies EXPLODED in popularity after 9/11. Everyone recognized that these two things had something to do with each other, or they made the connection somehow. So anyone watching KoH in 2005 wasn’t really watching a crusades film (it is set in the late 1180s and dramatizes the surrender of Jerusalem to Saladin) so much as a fictional film about the crusades made for an audience explicitly IN 2005. I have TONS to say on this subject (indeed, if you want a copy of my book chapter, DM me and I’ll be happy to send it.)

Ridley Scott basically sets it up as the Christian and Muslim secular leaders themselves aren’t evil, it’s all the religious fanatics (who are all made Templars, including Guy de Lusignan, going back to the “evil Templar” trope started by Sir Walter Scott and which we are all so very familiar with from Dan Brown and company). Orlando Bloom’s character shares a name (Balian de Ibelin) but very little else with the eponymous real-life crusader baron. One thing Scott did do very well was casting an actual and well-respected Syrian actor (Ghassan Massoud) to play Saladin and depicting him in essential fidelity to the historical figure’s reputed traits of justice, fairness, and mercy (there’s some article by a journalist who watched the film in Beirut with a Muslim audience and they LOVED the KoH Saladin). I do give him props for this, rather than making the Evil Muslim into the stock antagonist. However, Orlando Bloom’s Balian is redeemed from the religious extremist violence of the Templars (shorthand for all genuinely religious crusaders) by essentially being an atheistic/agnostic secular humanist who wants everyone to get along. As I said, this is a film about the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq made three years after 9/11 more than anything else, and you can really see that.

That said, enough about KoH, back to this presumable Joe/Nicky backstory. You would obviously run into the fact that it’s SUPER difficult to make a film about the crusades without offending SOMEBODY. The urge to paint in broad strokes and make it all about the evil Westerners invading is one route, but it would weaken the moral complexity of the story and would probably make it come off as pandering to guilty white liberal consciences. Are we gonna touch on the many decades of proto-crusading ventures in Iberia, Sicily, North Africa, and other places, and how the eleventh century, especially under Pope Gregory VII, made it even thinkable for a Christian to be a holy warrior in the first place? (It was NOT normal beforehand.) How are we going to avoid the “lololol all religion sucks and makes people do crazy things” axe to grind favoured by So Very Smart (tm) internet atheists? Yes, we have to demonstrate the ultimate horror of the crusade and the flawed premises it was based on, but we can’t do that by just showing the dirty, religiously zealot medieval people doing that because they don’t know any better and are being cynically manipulated in God’s Name. In other words (and the original TOG film did this very well) we can’t position ourselves to laugh at or mock the crusader characters or feel confident in looking down on them for being Dumb Zealots. They have to be relatable enough that we realize we could BE (and in fact already ARE) them, and THEN you slide into the horror and what compels them to do those kinds of things, and THAT’S when it hits. Because take a look at the news. This is happening around us right now.

Obviously, as I was doing in my First Crusade chapter in DVLA, a lot of this also has to spend time centering the Muslim point of view, the way they reacted to the crusade, the ways in which Yusuf as an Isma’ili Shia Muslim (Kaysani is the name of a branch of Isma’ili Shi’ites, he has a definite historical context and family lineage, and hence is almost surely, as I wrote him, a Fatimid from Egypt) is likewise not just A Stock Muslim. In this case, obviously: Get actual Muslims on the set to advise about the details. Don’t make stupid and/or obvious mistakes. Don’t necessarily make the Muslims less faithful or less virtuous than the Christians (even if this is supposed to praise them as being “less fanatic” than those bad religious Catholics). Don’t tokenize or trivialize their reaction to something as horrific as the sack of Jerusalem, and don’t just use dead brown bodies as graphic visual porn for cheap emotional points. Likewise, it goes without saying, and I don’t think they would anyway, but OH MY GOD DON’T MAKE THIS INTO GAME OF THRONES GRIMDARK!!!! OH MY GOD!!! THERE IS BEAUTY AND THERE IS LIGHT AND THERE IS POETRY AND THAT’S WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH WHEN IT’S DESTROYED! AND THE CHOICES THAT PEOPLE MAKE TO DESTROY THOSE THINGS HAVE TO BE TERRIFYINGLY PLAUSIBLE AND FAMILIAR, BECAUSE OH MY GOD!!

Next, re: Nicolo. Evidently he is a priest or a former priest or something of the sort in the graphic novel, which becomes a bit of a problem if we want him to actually FIGHT in the crusades for important and/or shallow and/or OTP purposes. (I don’t know if they address this somehow or Greg Rucka is not a medieval historian or whatever, but never mind.) It was a Major Thing that priests could not carry weapons, at least and especially bladed weapons. (In the Bayeux Tapestry, we have Odo, the bishop of Bayeux, fighting at the battle of Hastings with a truncheon because he’s a clergyman and can’t have a sword). They were super not supposed to shed blood, and a broadsword (such as the type that Nicky has and carries and is clearly very familiar with) is a knight’s weapon, not a clergyman’s. The thing about priests was that they were not supposed to get their hands dirty with physical warfare; they could (and often did) accompany crusade armies, bishops were secular overlords and important landholders, monks and hermits and other religious preachers were obviously part of a religious expedition, and yes, occasionally some priests would break the rules and fight in battle. But this was an exception FAR more than the rule. So if we’re going by accuracy, we have Nicky as a priest who doesn’t actively fight and doesn’t have a sword, we have him as a rule-breaking priest with a sword (which would have to be addressed, and the Templars, who were basically armed monks, weren’t founded until 1119 so he can’t be one of those yet if this is still 1099) or we just skip the priest part and have him as a crusader with a sword like any other soldier. If he was in fact a priest, he also wouldn’t be up to the same standard of sending into battle. Boys, especially younger sons of the nobility, often entered the church at relatively early ages (12 or 13), where it was treated as a career, and hence they stopped training in arms. So if Nicky is actually out there fighting and/or getting killed by Yusuf several times for Important Purposes, he’s... almost surely not a priest.

Iirc, they’ve already changed a few things from the graphic novel (I haven’t read it, but this is what I’ve heard) so they can also tweak things to make a new backstory or a hybrid-new backstory in film-verse. So once we’ve done all the above, we still have to decide how to handle the actual sack of Jerusalem and massacre of its inhabitants, the balance between violence comparable to the original TOG film and stopping short of being exploitative (which I think they would do well), and the aftermath of that and the founding of the new Latin Christian kingdom. It would have to, as again the original film does very well, avoid prioritizing the usual players and viewpoints in these events, and dig into presenting the experiences of the marginalized and way in which ordinary people are brought to the point of doing these things. It doesn’t (and frankly shouldn’t) preach at us that U.S. Invasions Of The Middle East Are Bad (especially since obviously none of the characters/people/places/events here are American at all). And as I said already but bears repeating: my god, don’t even THINK about making it GOT and marketing it as Gritty Dramatic Medieval History, You Know It’s Real Because They’re Dirty, Violent, and Bigoted!

Also, a couple tags I saw pop up were things like “Period-Typical Racism” and “Period-Typical Homophobia” and mmm okay obviously yes there are these elements, but what exactly is “period typical?” Does it mean “using these terms just because you figure everyone was less tolerant back then?” We know that I, with my endless pages of meta on medieval queer history, would definitely side-eye any attempts to paint these things as Worse Than Us, and the setting alone would convey a sense of the conflict without having to add on gratuitous microaggressions. I basically think the film needs to be made exactly like the original: centering the gay/queer perspectives of marginalized people and people of color, resisting the urge for crass jokes at the expense of the identity of its characters, and approaching it with an awareness of the deep complexity and personal meaning of these things to people in terms of the historical moment we’re in, while not making a film that ONLY prizes our response and our current crises. Because if we’re thinking about these historical genealogies, the least we can do (although we so often aren’t) is to be honest.

Thanks! I LOVED this question.

#history #medieval history #kingdom of heaven #joe x nicky #long post #persephone-rose-r #ask #the old guard meta

251 notes · View notes

svnflowervol666 · 5 years ago

Text

Uncertainty (Frat boy!Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Frat boy!Harry, use of alcohol, mentions of sexual assault, Harry being a sweet angel because I can’t picture him being anything else.

Author’s Note: Another request that waranted its own post! I wrote this one with a bit of a possibilty for continuation (if anyone is interested??) Anyways, thank you the anon for the request! Frat boy!Harry makes my heart scream. Let me know what else you’d like for me to crank out for you lovelies! Take care and tpwk.

Of all places Harry had expected to bump into her outside of class, his frat house on a Friday night was definitely at the bottom of the list. One minute, he was taking shots of tequila with his bed buds in the dining room and the next, he found his whole world coming to a halt when he saw her work her way through the sweaty, intoxicated crowd and move towards the kitchen for a drink. He swore the music stopped and everything around him had ceased to exist in the moment he saw her throw her head back in laughter at something her friend said, exposing her neck and chest to the open air.

“Who’s she?” one of his fraternity brothers asked with a nudge to Harry’s shoulder, clearly aware that Harry had temporarily abandoned the conversation he was having to gawk at the party’s newest arrival.

Harry snapped out of his daze in which he was staring at her bare legs that shimmered in the dim light of the frat house due to her lotion and a thin veil of sweat to see his brother staring at him as if he was the dumbest man alive.

“Hmm? Oh, her?” Harry pointed towards the girl in question with the neck of the beer bottle he had been nursing on all night.

“I sit by her in calculus... Just didn’t think I’d ever see her ‘round here is all.”

The boy standing beside Harry nodded hesitantly, though he was far too intoxicated to press him any further. Harry would never admit it to anyone as long as he lived, but he had quite the soft spot for this girl. He had no explanation for the way he felt inside when she smiled at him every time she took her seat before class. He had no explanation for how bummed he was when she’d skip a day, or how relieved he was when she’d burst into the room late with a large iced coffee in her hands. He used any and every excuse he could to get her to talk to him, to say anything to him in that voice of hers that he found to be sickly sweet.

But she didn’t run with the people that he ran with. She didn’t spend every weekend blackout drunk and wake up in a stranger’s bed that she knew she’d never see again. She was shy and quiet for the most part and was very much the polar opposite of everyone Harry went for both in terms of friendships and in one night stands. Which was exactly why Harry could never figure out what it was that he wanted from her. Did he want to shag her a few times and then pretend as if she never existed? Did he just want to be her friend that he could lay around with and watch stupid romantic comedies on Netflix with? Did he want to, dare he say it, date her? Take her out for nice dinners and fall asleep holding her in his arms? He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. She was simply different than all of the people Harry had associated himself with in college. And Harry, as scared as he was to say or even think it, liked that.

One might think that now would be the perfect opportunity for Harry to get to know this girl that he had been tied up over for the past several months given that she was attending a party at his own frat house, but he couldn’t bring himself to approach her. Instead, he drowned his feelings in shots of bitter liquor and half-assed games of beer pong. He figured that whatever had enticed her to come to this party certainly didn’t involve him, and it was best that he kept his distance. She’d passed by him a few times to refill the red, plastic cup she clutched like an accessory, but she never once looked his way.

Several hours had passed since her arrival and Harry, being the heavy partier that he was, had almost completely forgotten about her. The bass-heavy music pumped through his veins along with the icy burn of whatever he was drinking at the moment, and he was too preoccupied with the tiny blonde grinding her backside against his front to remember that she was even present at this party. He had forgotten she existed. That was until he broke away from the buzzing bodies and lager-soaked living room floor to use the restroom.

The downstairs powder room was always taken, so he opted for the one upstairs where all of the bedrooms were. When he pushed open the door, he was greeted by quite the debacle. His blood ran cold and every bit of alochol that worked to keep him at a happy buzz had left his system. The girl from his math class was there, and she was perched on the lip of the bathtub with her arms crossed. She was there, in his bathroom, but she was not alone.

“C’mon, sexy,” the inebriated, smelly man beside her pleaded, “Just come back to my room for a bit. Promise I’ll make you feel good.”

“I don’t want toooooo,” she slurred her words and pouted as if she were a temperamental toddler.

Had Harry not immediately recognized what was going on, he would have thought it was quite adorable.

“Yes, you do, baby. C’mon, it’s just right around the corner,” Harry’s fellow fraternity brother nagged.

He tried to pull her up by her limp arm, but she was dead weight against the porcelain tub, clearly too drunk to be going back to anyone’s bedroom with anyone and certainly not with a man Harry knew for a fact that she had never seen before in her life. The sight of what was going on made Harry sick to his stomach and the hairs on his neck stand up. He knew he had to intervene before this man could take her any further.

“Hey, man,” Harry commanded the attention of his disgusting, vile frat brother that he wanted nothing more than to punch square in between his eyes, “Ye’ ex was lookin’ for ye’ in the backyard. Seemed pretty pissed.”

Harry didn’t even know who his ex was, nor did he know whether or not she was even at the party, but he prayed that his lie was enough to make him leave before Harry had to handle him more aggressively.

“Fuck,” the man hissed to himself before making a beeline out of the cramped bathroom and towards the stairs as if he wasn’t just attempting to drag an almost lifeless girl back to his room.

“Hey,” Harry’s tone was much softer when he bent down to her level and spoke to the girl from his math class, “You alright?”

“No,” she grumbled, “I really want some chips.”

This made Harry scoff and the tiniest of smiles creep onto his lips. At least she was so far gone that the events that unfolded in the bathroom just now had failed to resonate with her.

“Waaaaait a minute,” she paused, “I know you. You’re Henry,” she jabbed her finger against Harry’s chest.

“I know you, too, Y/N,” Harry played along, ignoring the fact that he called her Henry as he inspected her body for her purse, which was, thankfully, still wrapped around her torso.

He dug around the small, black bag for her cell phone, which he, unfortunately, found out had no battery left.

“Do ye’ know where your friend is?” he enunciated slowly and assertively to her a bit like one would if they were talking to a baby.

The girl with smudged mascara under her eyes shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

“I saw her taking shots with some guy named Michael...or was it Matthew... and then I think she went off with some guy from her econ class. Or maybe it was the girl from her Women’s Studies class. I don’t really know,” the girl whined as if thinking too hard about where her friend had gone was giving her a headache.

“Was someone supposed to come get ye’?” Harry pressed her further.

“She was supposed to drive!” Y/N exclaimed, realizing now the predicament she was in.

Harry couldn’t believe how shitty of a friend this girl had. Not only had she disregarded her role as the designated driver, but she’d left her completely alone and drunk off her ass to fend for herself. The thought of what would have happened to her had Harry not miraculously stumbled into the bathroom made his skin crawl.

“Okay then,” he stood up from where he was squatted and outstretched his arms towards her, “Up. Let’s go. I’ll take ye’ home. Ye’ don’t need t’ be here anymore.”

“I don’t wanna go hooooooome. I wanna stay hereeee” the intoxicated girl shook her legs against the tub.

Any other girl and Harry would have just left her be, but he felt something inside of him that compelled him to take care of this girl and see to it himself that she made it home safe and unharmed. He couldn’t bear to think of waking up the next morning and having to listen to one of his fraternity brother’s brag about how good of a shag she was or about how embarrassing it was for her to be that drunk at a party.

“What if I take ye’ t’ get chips on the way?”

After about 20 minutes of trying to pressing Y/N to get her to tell him where she lived, Harry was finally able to find her apartment building. He took her through a drive-thru in the sketchy part of town because it was the last place open and he had promised the girl some chips and he was a man of his word. He was reluctant on doing so, seeing as he didn’t want to make this situation any weirder than it already was (him driving home the girl he sat beside in Calculus and only talked to for the duration of the 3 hours per week that they were in class who just so happened to be drunk out of her mind), but his hesitancy quickly left his system when her eyes lit up upon taking a greasy, brown bag filled with the salty snack from his hands.

“You’re my hero, Harry,” Y/N fake-cried (or maybe she was actually crying, Harry wasn’t sure at this point nor would he have been surprised).

“Look at us. Math buddies. Hangin’ out together. Who woulda thought,” she giggled as she stuffed a crispy potato past her lips that were covered in her smudged lipstick.

Harry chuckled to himself, unsure of what to say to Y/N. He opted to continue driving her home in silence while she munched on her late night snack and sipped on her small cup of water that he insisted she drink all of. She didn’t say anything else either, to which Harry was thankful for.

It took Y/N a bit longer than usual to clank her fingers around her bag to retrieve her keyring, and even longer to figure out which key was the key that would let her into her locked apartment. Harry had done far more than anyone would have, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling like he couldn’t leave her side until she was sleeping peacefully in her bed.

He walked her through her apartment and to her bedroom with one hand hovering over the small of her back in case she lost her balance. Harry wasn’t sure what he’d ever pictured her room to look like, but it suited her, he thought to himself. He noticed some vinyl records in the corner of some of his favorite artists, ones that his friends always made fun of him for listening to. It was a bit messy; there were a few piles of clothes discarded on her floor, but having grown up with his mum and sister his whole life, it led him to believe she had probably been frantic trying to find something to wear to the party at his frat house and just neglected to pick up her mess before she left.

“Ye’ want to take ye’ dress off or somethin’?” Harry asked her.

“Harry, I am NOT having sex with you,” Y/N mumbled as she plopped down onto her fluffy bed.

“‘s not wha’ I meant. Where are do you keep ye’ pajamas? That dress is gonna leave ya sore in the mornin’ if ye’ sleep in it.”

Seeming content with his answer, she tilted her head in the direction of her dresser.

“Middle drawer.”

Harry left her side for a split second while he rifled through her clothes and returned with an oversized university t-shirt that Harry also owned himself. He unfolded it and laid it in her lap.

“NO peeking,” the girl insisted, to which Harry held his hands up in surrender and turned his back to face the corner of her room.

He could hear her struggling to get out of her clothes, but he didn’t dare spin back around in the chance that he saw her undressing and it caused any more strain in their already confusing arrangement. His mind was already flooded with how awkard it would be in the morning when she woke up and realized he had been inside of her home. How she would react when she saw him in class on Monday and whether or not she would yell at him for crossing the line. Really, all he wanted was to make sure she was alright.

Harry was pulled from his thoughts when Y/N called his name in that voice that he adored so much.

“I’m stuck.”

“Can I turn around and help ye’?” Harry treaded lightly.

“Pleaaaaase,” she slurred.

Harry was greeted by the sight of Y/N tangled up in the straps of her dress, not even having been able to pull it over her body. He couldn’t even count the number of times he’d undressed women in the past and how it came as second nature to him when fooling around, but this time, he was beyond nervous. His fingers hesitated to even graze over her bare skin, to untangle her arms from the complicated fabric that trapped her. She was wearing a mismatched bra and underwear, which seemed very much like Y/N’s personality, he thought to himself. Of course, he wasn’t going to deny that she looked incredible underneath her clothes and he wished he was seeing her like this under different circumstances, but that wasn’t what mattered now.

Trying his hardest not to stare, he quickly guided Y/N’s head through the hole of the t-shirt and helped her put her arms through to avoid her getting stuck in her own clothes again. The material fell down below her thighs, so that only the very bottom of her bum was visible to him. God, she looked beautiful.

“Harry,” she whispered to him, as if she were afraid someone would overhear.

“Yes?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? Is it because I help you in Calculus all of the time?”

“I’m actually not tha’ bad at Calculus, Y/N,” Harry snickered to himself as he searched around her bed for her cell phone charger, “’M quite good at it, really.”

“Then why do you always ask me about the homework every time I come in?” she pushed as she watched him pull her phone out of her bag once more and plug it up to the power source.

“Don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “Just like talking to ye’ I guess.”

“Okayyyyyyyyyyyy. If it’s not that, then why are you here? We’re not friends.”

She was still far too intoxicated to comprehend exactly what was going on right now, but the fact that she was starting to sober up and form cohesive sentences was making Harry antsy.

He figured he had overstayed his welcome and that it was time to bug off before she started to ask anymore questions. That, and he wasn’t sure he was able to answer any more of her questions.

“Just didn’t feel like waking up t’ ye’ passed out in my bathroom floor is all. I’m gonna go now, do ye’ want me to get ye’ anything?” Harry lied as he swiped his thumbs under her eyelashes to wipe away the black smudges under her eyes the best that he could.

“Nope,” she responded with a pop of her lips before crawling back into the comfort of her bed.

She seemed to fall asleep almost immediately, to which Harry took that as his cue to leave. He backed out quietly, shutting the door behind him and tip-toeing down her hallway. He knew it was weird to rummage through her kitchen, but he felt compelled to make sure she would be taken care of when she woke in the morning.

Harry discarded the wrapper from their little chip excersion into her bin, and filled up a glass of water and placed it on her counter. On his first try, he’d managed to find her medicine cabinet and sat a bottle of pain reliever beside the cup, knowing good and well that she’d need a handful of the small pills when she got up.

He decided to check on her one last time before he buggered off for real this time, wanting to double check that she hadn’t choked on her own vomit and died whilst he was in her kitchen snooping about. She probably fine and dead to the world by now, but he wanted one last look at her before he went.

As he’d expected, she was perfectly fine. Her hair was tangled all around her head in a messy nest and small, adorable little snores left her parted lips as she slept. He could just barely make out her underwear-clad bum sticking out from the blanket, in which Harry found to be heart-warming for some reason. The girl that had taunted his brain for months and was seemingly untouchable to him looked so incredibly human at this moment.

Running a ringed hand through his now greasy, chocolate curls, he felt his mission was complete and left her alone to sleep and locked her door on his way out. It made Harry’s heart twinge knowing he’d most likely never see her like this again.

When Y/N woke the next day (very well into the afternoon, might she add), she felt strange. She was struggling to remember exactly what happened to her last night having just woken up, but what she did know that she had a headache from hell.

As she drug herself out of bed to do the only thing she knew for certain would cure her hangover which was cook a large breakfast for only herself, she noticed a glass of water and pain medicine sitting on her counter by her coffee pot. The events of last night were murky, and she barely remembered what happened after her fourth drink, but she was almost positive she now recalled someone else being in her apartment with her.

She was uncertain, but had an inkling that, for some reason, it was the boy she sat beside in Calculus.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #frat boy!Harry

1K notes · View notes

zirkkun · 5 years ago

Text

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

#zircon rambles #a lot #lol #its very long im sorry #i spent way too long writing this too #also please don't reblog this

39 notes · View notes

ravenforce · 5 years ago

Text

Manhattan 4

Word Count: 3797

Pairing: Lou Miller x Fem!Reader

Warning/s: None. Except probably some minor baiting, and tooth-rotting fluff. :)

A/N: Thank you so much for everyone who likes, and follows this story. You guys are amazing. Please leave your reactions, bloody or otherwise, on the comment section. My inbox is open too if you’d like to pop by. Oh, and please note the ff:

1. If there are any grammatical mistakes I’ve still overlooked, I apologize.

2. Also, I’m sorry if this took a while. With the pandemic COVID-19 raging throughout the world, I struggled to stay in the light for a while, and with my city going on full lockdown there was so much unrest. Rest assured, I’m keeping with the strict home quarantine. I hope you guys are too. We can beat this virus if we follow the rules for now. You know the protocol, stay safe. Stay with me.

3. For requests, I haven’t yet to write, I apologize too and again. I just can’t find inspiration to write for some characters right now.

Manhattan Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

(Photo not mine. Credits to the owner)

***

Saturday - New York, New York

“What is this sorcery?” Charlie said amused as he stood beside Agatha on your open kitchen.

The two assistants were so engrossed in watching Lou interact with you that they didn’t see Debbie and Rose entering the kitchen area from the other side of the apartment.

“That, children is what you would call love,” Rose whispered dreamily yet still startled the two. Agatha blushed from being caught half gossiping.

Debbie just smiled, watching her best friend laugh so freely with you. Never did she saw Lou act in such a way with her other dalliances. She has strict rules of engagement: don’t call me, I call you; we’re not friends so they can’t be chummy with me especially in public; more importantly, they’re not my girlfriend so they can’t act like one; jealousy is a capital offence; no dates; no sleepover, Debbie recalled. Yet here is her blonde friend violating all her rules for you.

“Careful using the L-word though,” Debbie mused before sipping her mojito. “Those two can bolt.”

“Better let them figure it out,” Rose whispered before walking away to join the party in your huge industrial living room. Charlie and Agatha nodded as they watch you kick Nine’s ass on Mario Kart, and Lou looking extremely proud of you.

A few more rounds of continuously losing to you in both Mario Kart and Tekken 7, Nine threw her joycon on the couch.

“This thing is rigged!” she exclaimed before collapsing on the couch next to you. You rolled your eyes playfully at her.

“Didn’t think I’d see the day, someone would beat your ass at video games,” Daphne teased.

“You’re good, Y/N’s just simply better,” Lou added fuel to the fire, taking your attention away from Nine’s pouting. It’s not that you weren’t paying attention at her all night as she moves around gracefully, pretending to approve of the curated setup of your apartment like she wasn’t the one to help you put them together.

“Shut up,” Nine grumbled. “Your crush can be seen from outer space.”

That effectively shut the blonde up while the rest started laughing. Lou threw a pillow on Nine’s face, making everyone crack up even more.

“Alright, children. It’s way past your bedtime,” Debbie said. “Let’s go home.” Everyone groaned but started putting on their shoes and coats before thanking you for dinner and the awesome night.

Agatha and Charlie were already waiting for the lift when everyone filed out on your hallway, except for Lou who stood way too close behind you that you could feel her hips against your ass. You fought hard not to blush as images of what those powerful hips do to you flooded your mind. Lou stretched her hand out for Debbie to take the keys to the company van they used to go to your place. Debbie accepted the keys with her eyebrows cocked.

“I’m gonna stay and help clean up,” she intentionally husked out behind your ear.

“Yeah right,” Rose, Tammy, Daphne and Debbie all said at the same time before walking away laughing.

“Clean up my fucking ass,” Nine drunk mumbled before Constance and Amita dragged her away but not without wishing you have a good fuck first.

***

You nearly kicked the door closed in your haste to turn towards Lou who immediately wrapped her arms around your waist. She slowly walked you back until you’re secured against her body and the door. Your breath hitched when her hand crept down from your waist down to your ass.

“Lou,” you half-whispered, half moaned when she squeezes your backside. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she said while peppering featherlight kisses along your jaw. “Yet.”

It’s becoming increasingly hard to focus as Lou started kissing down your neck. The last straw to your self-control was when she sucked on your pulse point. You groaned before you tugged on her soft blonde hair and pulled her face towards you. It was Lou’s turn to groan when you started kissing her with so much fervour.

She tasted like blueberries and vodka. And right at that moment, you think you could go on forever as long as she never stops kissing you. She’s simply intoxicating and extremely dangerous for your carefully constructed guard. You knew that to stop yourself from falling, you should have put a stop to your affair with the woman the moment you found out that she’s your boss. Yet here you are, still flying closer and closer to the sun.

The desire to feel her hands and her lips again overtake your need for control over all situations. How can you want anything else when Lou’s too good with you. She knew all the buttons to push to make you crave, she knew the right amount of pressure to make you squirm and shake, and she knew how you like to be touched to ensure you come undone screaming her name.

“Lou,” you moaned against her lips. You can already feel the telltale heat coiling on your belly, flow downwards and creating a huge wet patch on your Victoria Secret underwear. You swear you think Lou can smell how ready you are for her by the smirk on her face.

“Yes, love? Use your words,” she said confidently. “What do you need?”

Before you can get one word out though there’s a knock on the door.

“Y/N/N! Open up,” Tony yelled on the other side of the door.

“Fuck,” you whispered before bumping your forehead down on Lou’s shoulder.

You cursed under your breath for forgetting that your apartment is the designated nest for the Avengers in Manhattan since you’re the only one living alone. Maria, Wanda, Carol, and Nat are renting an apartment in Brooklyn while the boys are staying together in the Bronx. It extremely pleased you when your friends informed you a week prior that they all got into various programs in New York as well. Now, not so much. You forgot what a massive cock block they all are.

“I intended to but we have company,” Lou said seductively before completely untangling herself from you to open the door.

***

“Lou?” Thor asked incredulously when he saw who opened the door.

Before Lou can say another word though you decided it was the right time to push away from the door, giving away a hint on what you two were doing before their arrival.

“Hey,” you said overly enthusiastic. “Come on in.”

Lou who had one of her hand on the door, opened it wider so everyone can come through. You had to take a step back to give your friends space, making your ass connect Lou’s front again. You had to bite your lip from making a sound. Lou loved the expression on your face though that she oh so subtly grind her hips against your ass. Thankfully, your friends were more interested in the interior design of your apartment to pay you and Lou any more attention.

When everyone was inside, Lou suddenly stepped away from you and towards the door.

“You’re leaving?” You tried not to sound desperate to have her stay but you don’t expect her to sit around and wait for everyone to leave so she can finish what we started.

“I believe we’ll have to finish this another day,” she said genuinely looking apologetic. She knows that you know how much she wants you but she knows the Avengers are more likely going to spend the whole night with you anyway.

Lou turned to leave but you caught the sleeve of her shirt. You surged forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You better, or else I’ll find someone else to scratch my itch,” you whispered on her ear before you bolted back into your apartment. Leaving Lou staring at your door and grinning like an idiot. At that point, she’s not even going to deny that she has a fucking crush on you.

***

When you got inside, Maria’s waiting for you in the hallway. Everyone was busy setting up everything for your private party in the living room. You immediately tackled your best friend into a bear hug.

“Easy tiger,” she said giggling while you ignored her and murmured repeatedly how much you missed her. Even though it’s just been a couple of days since you last saw each other. When you pulled away, Maria gave you a funny look.

“What?”

“Were you and Lou house warming before we arrived?” she asked cheekily.

“No?” Maria cocked an eyebrow at you. Convincing Maria of a lie is close to trying to convince yourself.

“She offered to help clean up,” you tried one more time but it only made Maria laugh out loud. Everyone was informed that you’ll be hosting a dinner for your colleagues from the gallery that’s why they came over late. So it wasn’t technically a lie, still, Maria can see right through you.

“Right. So how come you have this,” she said before wiping her thumb across your jaw. When she put her finger up for you to see, there was a visible lipstick stain in the exact same shade that Lou’s wearing. You pursed your lips together.

“Next time you try to lie to me, make sure your face isn’t covered in evidence,” Maria teased one more time before dragging you inside your own house.

***

Monday - First Day High

Lou unconsciously frowned when she entered the conference room packed full of everyone except you and Debbie. She was so excited to come to work because she wasn’t able to talk to you the day prior since Thor and Loki decided they wanted to spend time with her before they drive back to the Bronx. Daphne immediately caught her expression.

“Don’t fret my dear, she’s joining us today,” Daphne said with a firm smirk on her face. “It’s her first team meeting after all.”

Lou rolled her eyes before plopping down on her seat on Debbie’s right. Charlie came around to give her a cup of coffee. She accepted it thankfully before engaging Amita and Rose with small talk. A few minutes later, the door opened signalling your arrival back into the room. Lou took a sip of her coffee at the same time you put down the stack of papers on the table giving her a full view of you.

She ungracefully coughed out her coffee, even spraying some of it on the table. You looked at her with concern, while everyone started laughing. She immediately wiped her mouth and the table with some napkins in an attempt to save her dignity. She’s rarely embarrassed since she always carries herself with grace.

So she held her head up high. No one can begrudge her of her reaction especially since none of them warned her - intentionally, she’s sure of it - that you’re dangerously hot in work clothes.

“Thank you, dear,” Lou heard Rose say beside her when you passed to give everyone a copy of the agenda. You smiled at the kind woman.

“You have talent on dressing yourself. Would you mind if I make some pieces for you sometime?” Rose continued, catching you off-guard. You’re literally just wearing a white button-up blouse tucked inside a black knee-high leather pencil skirt, and black heels. You don’t see any reason for a fashion designer like Rose to take an interest in making you some custom made outfits.

“Uhm, thank you, Rose,” you said softly before resuming on your task. Rose giggled excitedly and asked you to come to her office before the day ends so she could take your measurements.

“Oh no, Lou,” Nine sing-songs. Lou looked at the tech-girl with an impassive look on her face.

“Y/N’s gonna hit the runway with Rose dressing her. She’s gonna be popular soon. Are you ready to share her to the world?” Nine continued to tease, making the blonde woman frown. When you arrived behind Nine, you dropped the stack of paper in her head, instead of just handing her a one piece. Everyone giggled except Nine.

“Hey!” she complained.

“Sorry.” The smirk in your face tells her you did it intentionally. Nine grumbled softly about how she used to be your favourite. You just chuckled before looking across the table to Lou and giving her a subtle wink, which totally made her smile and all mushy inside.

***

The two-page agenda took almost all day to go over especially between discussing each point, Nine, Amita and Constance can’t stop interjecting jokes whenever they can. If you have a dollar for every time Debbie sighed or rolled her eyes, you would have collected enough for a whole months rent. Towards the latter part of the meeting, the team started discussing battle plans for the upcoming art week. The gallery is located in the art district, and the competition is tight. They needed something that’ll put the Heist in the art map of New York City.

“Any ideas?” Debbie asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. So far nothing is standing out for her.

You looked around. Everyone was deep in thought, clearly racking their brains for ideas. You raised your hand like you were in class. You feel kinda silly doing so but it caught Debbie’s attention.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“As a new gallery, The Heist isn’t carrying any artist yet, correct?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

The process of selecting an artist to sign on board with the gallery is tedious. Mostly it was a question of chemistry. The team collectively agreed that they wouldn’t carry an artist whose personality deflects from any of them as it will only create friction in the group. Everyone in the team has a purpose but more importantly when Debbie chose them, she chose them based on how well they would mix and work together and up to date, no one has proved that she chose wrong.

“Maybe it’s time to change that,” you suggested boldly.

There’s a collection of murmurs. “But most of the popular artists in town are already booked with other galleries,” Daphne mentioned.

“Who said about signing known artists?” Daphne frowned.

“We can’t sign nobody’s Y/N,” she answered. You smiled softly at your brunette boss.

“Everyone was a nobody at the start,” you started to explain. “Until someone believed in them. We can be that someone to a nobody. We can be that difference.”

For a few excruciating seconds, your heart hammered in your chest like the first time you presented one of the techs you invented in Stark Industries.

“That’s…” Debbie started. You look her directly in the eyes. “Actually brilliant.”

Everyone turned to Debbie and asked, “Really?”

“Yes. It’s wild but maybe that’s why I like it,” she said to her team then she turned again to you. “Do you have a plan?”

You grinned like an excited puppy. “Well I was thinking, we could find at least two artists’ that uses two different medium,” you explain. “The gallery’s huge enough for a painter and an installation artist.”

“Do you have artists’ in mind?” Tammy asked, starting to get on-board with the plan.

“Maybe.”

“Okay,” Debbie said. “Have your presentation ready before next weeks meeting.”

“Yes ma’am,” you answered smiling. You caught Lou looking extremely proud beside Debbie.

“Great! Now can we have lunch?” Amita asked. “My brain cells are dead.”

Debbie adjourned the meeting as soon as everyone confirmed they know their assignment for the week. You were about to head out when Debbie asked to see you in her office.

***

“I’m going straight to the point,” Debbie said as she fixes her stuff in her table. She sat down after a few seconds and looked at you. “I know you slept with Lou.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. “I did.”

“I really don’t care if you do, again but can I count on you to keep being this professional?” she asked. “Since you’ve seen all of my friends, they’re children.”

This time, you didn’t try to stop yourself from smiling. Her concern is definitely warranted. “I promise. I also promise that whatever this is, it won’t affect my work here at the gallery.”

Debbie smiled, somehow she just knows she can trust you. So she let you go without further ado but before you can even open her door, she called for your attention again.

“Oh, Y/N.” You turned your body towards her, one hand clutching the door handle. “I’m assigning you to spearhead the artists’ acquisition for the art week. And whatever happens, please don’t have sex in my office.”

The change of topic in one sentence can almost give you a whiplash had it not been too funny that you started laughing hard.

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep, boss,” you said before pulling the door open to leave. On the way out, you almost bumped into Lou. She gave you a questioning look as you continued to giggle as you keep walking away.

***

Lou was still looking at you when Debbie spoke, “I get why you like her. She’s brilliant.”

“She is,” Lou said almost dreamily. Then she blinked her eyes to look at her best friend who’s looking at her like she knew something she doesn’t. She didn’t probe though, she’s not sure she’s ready to know the answer just yet. “Anyway, everyone left ahead for the restaurant. Are you coming?”

“I am,” Debbie answered before gathering her bag. Lunch at their favourite restaurant every Monday has become their tradition since they all moved to Manhattan and started the gallery. It has become the team’s way to decompress on a #ManicMonday.

While waiting for the lift, Debbie couldn’t help but be annoyed by the incessant ringing of Lou’s phone.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” she asked curiously. There are only two reasons why Lou wouldn’t answer her god damn phone. First, she’s avoiding whoever is on the other line, which is always most definitely a girl had sex with. Lastly, she’s in the middle of making passionate, consensual, no-strings-attached sex with someone else.

“Nope,” Lou answered. “It’s just Therese. She wants to meet tonight.”

“She’s just Therese now?” Debbie questioned. Therese is Lou’s ex-girlfriend who she started bedding again a few months ago, adding her to the roster of women she beds on an occasional basis. “Something happened?”

Lou shrugged in time with the arrival of the elevator. She didn’t answer for a while.

“I’m just suddenly tired of all of it,” she said when they stepped off the elevator at the ground floor.

Debbie wondered for a moment what it meant until she followed Lou’s line of sight. She wasn’t surprised when she saw you eating casually at Agatha and Charlie’s table. Lou can’t stop the small smile on her face thinking Debbie wouldn’t even notice it. Oh, but Debbie did and she understood. Out of everyone in the team, Lou’s the only one who isn’t dating monogamously.

They’ve all played the field when they’re younger until they found someone worth throwing the towel in and committing themselves to. Everyone thinks that she’s looking for magic but that wasn’t the case, she was actually looking for something simple. She just wanted someone that makes her feel home. For a long time, she searched all over the world only to find what she’s looking right under her nose.

Debbie smiled watching the loving look on Lou’s face as she watches you for a heartbeat before walking directly towards the exit. Debbie didn’t mean to look when Lou whipped out her phone and started typing a message for you.

Plans tonight? I missed you yesterday.

Lou’s phone lighted with a reply while she’s reversing out of the parking lot that she couldn’t stop Debbie from reaching for it and opening her text message. She grumbled and begged and threatened the brunette not to read it but she knew it was futile.

“Ready to finish what you’ve started,” Debbie read laughing. Lou blushed from her neck to the roots of her hair.

Yes! See you tonight. Debbie texted on Lou’s behalf. She’s so happy for her best friend, she couldn’t even care that you’re younger or that you’re their employee.

Can’t wait. xx

Taglist: @kaytoopio @marvelfansince08love @marvelb00kwolf @shycucumbersandwich @subject7creed @inkstainedhandsofgold

#avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers x oceans 8 #avengers x oceans 8 crossover #lou miller x reader #lou miller #cate blanchett #cate blanchett x reader

112 notes · View notes

kbstories · 5 years ago

Text

Ontological

on·to·log·i·cal (adj.) Existing as such; metaphysical.

Eustass Kidd and Killer, during and afterwards.

(Or: Killer and SMILE, let’s talk about it.)

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Aftermath of Violence, Reunions, Body Dysmorphia

Read Chapter 1 here. Soft spoiler warning for Chapter 981. Content warning for discussions of Body Dysmorphia/BDD. Read Chapter 3 here.

***

They walk for hours, across dusty desert plains and past the outskirts of a bustling city to the very edge of a forest, every leaf covered in delicate frost. Kidd doesn’t have a single clue where they’re going – all he’s seen of Wano Country is a waterfall and the inside of a cell and what a lovely first impression that was – but Killer seems to, always two steps ahead of Kidd.

In that dark kimono and cloaked in patterned fabric, Killer looks like he belongs here, roaming wherever the wind carries him. All formal-like with his hair pulled up high and out of his face and his wrists bandaged all the way to his fingers.

Fucking uncomfortable is what he looks like, shoulders drawn and hands clenched where the grip of his scythes would be, and Kidd’s stomach roils with a fury that has nowhere to go.

Not right now, anyways.

Yet he’s still just Killer: despite the smile that remains on his lips, cold as the snow beneath their feet, despite the weeks they spent apart. Still the man that has been by his side since Kidd can remember, all the way back to the days they were snot-faced nobodies from South Blue dreaming of the wide-open sea and finding One Piece.

Killer’s always been a man of few words. He’s calmer now, hasn’t said much of anything since they left the prison gates behind. When Kidd had asked if he knew where the others were, Killer had nodded and led the way.

He hasn’t laughed either, as much as every breath threatens to change that. Kidd keeps a tight hold on his metal fist and doesn’t stare.

It’s quiet out here, eerily so. They come by a bridge and bloody arches splattered on cracked wood and snow alike. Across countless graves, old and frozen over to the point of illegibility – and while Killer’s gaze falls on the swords stuck in front of them, he does not stray from his path.

Idiot. Kidd rolls his eyes and gestures to a pair of short ones that are vaguely curved. They are torn from their place of rest with nary a sound; hovering, just as soundlessly, until Killer sighs and takes them in hand.

“A spirit guards this place”, he says, as if Kidd has ever given a shit about anything holy. Killer glances at Kidd’s deadpan stare, his eyes meeting Kidd’s before flitting away again, and Killer’s lips twitch. “It’s bad luck, that’s all.”

“Whatever”, Kidd huffs. Watches Killer draw each of the swords, quick and precise, and they can’t be all that crap given the care with which Killer ties them to the sash around his waist.

Onwards they go until the trees part and Killer finally stops. Kidd does so, too, shoulder to shoulder with him as the wind tears into the heavy fur of his coat. One step further the ground gives into a steep cliff and jagged rocks below. Beyond that: the rumbling of waves against shore.

They found the ocean.

Tucked into a cove, the Victoria Punk lies at anchor and there, in the middle of deck, a bonfire casts its warm glow. A light that calls her captain home and Kidd grins. They made it.

It’s a bit far to the metal in the Punk’s skull but Kidd doesn’t care. He reaches for it, feels its presence hum under the palm of his hand and it’s enough, the connection strong and unrelenting.

“Got her. Let’s go, Killer.”

Kidd’s metal arm opens to let him grab on and Killer– He stays right where he is, stiff under all those layers of fluttering fabric and Kidd looks at him. Really looks, his gaze searching for that face he knows so well and sees so rarely and much less like this, with lips pulled unnaturally wide and eyes shifting with hesitation.

A face none of the crew would recognize because they’ve never–

“They won’t care, K. You know they won’t.”

“I know”, Killer grinds out between clenched teeth. The thick muscles of his throat work; the chuckle still makes it out of his mouth, a strangled, joyless noise. “I know but–”

That’s the problem, isn’t it? That sliver of doubt that Killer’s worst fear could come true is almost as terrifying as the thing itself, and Kidd swallows whatever else is on his tongue. Promises himself he will speak every ounce of truth when the time is right, will whisper reassurances against Killer’s skin from here to eternity if that’s what it takes to make him believe them.

Kidd’s hand drops, as does the surge of power pulsating from it. “Okay.” He turns away from the Punk and towards Killer, a moment spent figuring things out before he tugs the cloak… thing off Killer’s shoulders.

(Killer doesn’t flinch from his touch but it’s close enough. Kidd pretends not to notice.)

Without hesitation Kidd digs metal fingers into the fabric and rips it apart, a long tear splitting the silk in two. Frowns at the one which is longer and dipped in old blood and shrugs. There are feathers on it.

It’ll do.

Killer is watching him, a line between his brows and his gaze a little squinted like he’s trying to gauge what the hell Kidd is up to. It makes Kidd wonder if whatever happened to him also affects his brain somehow because seriously.

“Get that shit off your face. I’ll do your hair.”

The tie keeping everything tightly bound suffers the same fate, shiny and expensive and ruined as Kidd throws it over his shoulder. Killer’s hair explodes into a familiar cascade of blonde in the matter of moments – the knots and tangled bits will take ages to comb out, which makes another item on Kidd’s to-do list.

Kidd shakes out the front until it falls over Killer’s eyes. “There”, he mumbles with some smugness and can’t help the nostalgic smile it brings to his lips. “Hah. This takes me back.”

Hidden by hair or not, Kidd knows where to catch the glint of Killer’s eyes in there and how they soften. “Mhm.”

The rest of Killer’s face is painfully bare without the bandages and so Kidd doesn’t linger. Just gives Killer the makeshift scarf he made and waits until he’s wrapped it around his neck and pulled it up to the bridge of his nose to tie it in place with a clumsy knot.

There. Not much finesse to it, the torn edges and messy strands clashing against Killer’s outfit with all its elegant folds and neat lines. Even muffled by the mask Kidd can hear the quiet sigh Killer breathes and something in him settles, too.

“C’mon. It’s fucking freezing out here.”

They come home.

Afterwards, that’s when Kidd asks.

After his boots hit deck for the first time in weeks and he thought finally; after both he and Killer were barreled over in a mass of hugs – warm, so warm – among shouts of “Captain!” and “Killer! You’re back!”; after Doc descended on them with the righteousness of a Valkyrie from myths and legends and Killer pointed at Kidd and said, “Kidd got shot”, and Kidd hissed back, “Bastard”, and didn’t mention the cuts hidden under that damned kimono (not yet); after Killer slinked off in the direction of their room (one hand keeping the mask in place, not that anyone had given a rat’s ass because the Punk’s right here and they’re all still breathing) and Kidd surrendered himself to his fate at Doc’s hands.

It’s what the crew needed, in that moment. Red-nosed and shivering from temperatures they’re not really made for, and Eustass Kidd is a captain to them all, not just Killer.

So he let Doc fuss over bullet wounds and overexposure to Sea Stone. He listened to Wire’s calm voice re-tell the story of how they got here, how Killer set off to find him and the day Pirate Hunter Zoro wandered by, clearly lost. In turn, Kidd told them the gist of what happened half a country away: about Udon’s downfall and the tides of rebellion crashing against Onigashima’s shores soon enough.

The bonfire burned on. There’s a decision to be made there, Kidd realized as he stared into its flames. Every expression around him carried the same conviction, encased in flickering orange and the bite of snow and Kidd knew, if he asked then and there, they would follow him into a war they'd lost once before.

Yet Killer’s not here and Kidd was tired, so fucking tired.

Across from him Heat shifted, a frown deepening the scars on their face with the things Kidd didn’t say: They have been with them longer than anyone else has, the first to join and the only one to have witnessed what’s beneath the mask. Heat’s gaze searched Kidd’s over the glowing embers between them and they, too, didn’t press for answers.

They smiled, instead, old stitches pulled taut. “Dinner’s on me. Welcome back, Captain.”

Through it all Kidd bit his tongue and waited. Killer is nowhere to be found when he finally steps into the captain's cabin: There’s a pile of used bandages and dark silk on the floor, the sound of a shower running the next room over. Filthy as it is, Kidd deems his fur coat a lost cause and tosses it to the ground along with the rest.

After days of wear, the clothes peel off like a second skin. The dust of the stone pit has been washed off yet it lingers, stuck under painted nails and in the greasy spikes of Kidd’s hair.

The goggles come off next. Kidd… sits, for a while, buck-ass naked on the edge of the bed occupying most of their quarters. Lets his fingers run over old, black leather and the holes missing studs have left behind, and his eyes are dull where they’re mirrored by tinted glass, monochromatic.

Killer’s mask is right there. Blue-and-white, mounted on its stand, not a single scratch on it – Killer’s design and Kidd’s handiwork, its individual pieces welded into place damn near perfectly so it won’t come off unless Killer wants it to.

Kidd stares at it, alone in this space they carved for themselves in this world, and remembers: Killer’s laugh, choked and wrong; Killer’s body, limp in the water; Killer’s face, tear-stained and bared for everyone to see–

Fuck.

Kidd’s palm is rough against his face, skin grown tough with callouses and burn marks. His fingers dig into his mouth and his scar and his eyes and they sting as his eyeliner smudges beyond repair.

How the fuck do I fix this?

Steam rolls into the room like thunder over the sea, the air charged and heavy with it. The bed dips behind him, legs bracketing his; hands slide over Kidd’s back to his chest, slightly damp. Naked skin against naked skin.

This is the thing Kidd missed the most, locked away and powerless.

“Kidd.”

There’s layers to it, the way Killer says his name. A weight behind that one word that invokes the thousand other times he has uttered it just like this, lips a phantom sensation at the nape of Kidd’s neck. The smile is still there, Kidd can feel it, and that too is a memory made physical.

It’s warm summer nights, it’s skinned knees and knocked out teeth, it’s mornings spent in bed with the Punk’s lazy sway beckoning them back to sleep.

Kidd loves Killer’s smile, has loved it before people started mocking him for it and continued to love it past the day Killer decided to hide it. He’d hoped, even as he made that mask, that a time would come when it wouldn’t be needed.

Not like this, though. Not against Killer’s will.

“It’s that SMILE shit, isn’t it?”

Finally, finally Kidd gives voice to the question burning in his mind, his heart, his lungs. Killer’s arms tighten around him but Kidd can’t hold back, can’t–

“Those fake Devil Fruits Strawhat was talking about, that’s what causing this. That’s why you can’t stop. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Killer is a force of nature on the battlefield, a whirlwind of blades and raining blood – here, now, his chest shifts against Kidd’s back with a breath that trembles on the line of becoming a laugh. “You’re not.”

Finally, Kidd allows himself to feel the ache at his core, the sheer grief of it all. The goggles drop to the ground as his fingers claw at fire-red hair instead, pulling. Pain, sharp, sizzles across his scalp, does nothing but add to the suffocating pressure building in Kidd’s throat because there’s no way out of this.

Artificial or not, Devil Fruits are forever.

“Why, Killer? You’re strong, they can’t… Just eating the fruit doesn’t work, you gotta swallow it. You gotta want it. What the fuck were you thinking?!”

And damn Killer, damn him for hearing Kidd’s voice shake and wrapping around him like Kidd’s the one falling apart. For running his hand over Kidd’s until he clings to that instead, strong and steady where Kidd can’t be, not anymore.

They’ve always been together, their lives and pasts and dreams entangled and breathing as one. From South Blue to the New World they've kept this secret safe and–

“There was a choice. They gave me a choice, Kidd.”

It’s mumbled right against Kidd’s ear like the truth will hurt less if spoken quietly. Because there’s no regret in Killer’s voice, none, and there’s only one thing he’d give up everything for.

Kidd clenches his eyes shut, groans out, “No–”

Killer doesn’t let him go, pressing a kiss to his shoulder with smiling lips.

“I just picked the one I could live with.”

>>Chapter 3.

#one piece #eustass kid #killer one piece #kidkiller #fanfiction #one piece fanfiction #one piece spoilers #hi i'm still emo about killer :(#this fic is also on AO3!!#my stuff #EDIT: i forgot to tag BDD in this hhh sorry 'bout that! fixed it on AO3 as well 🙏🏼

40 notes · View notes