#asking for Me... ive been wondering what the average for this is for YEARS

[idkdudethisisntpermanent]

Over the Limit - pt.v

jenna ortega x female reader

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi

summary: An unlikely group forms—did someone say road trip?

word count: 10.8k

a/n: It's officially been a month since I've started posting Over the Limit on Tumblr! Thank you everyone for the overwhelming amount of support💚

————

How are weekends meant to look for the average 20-year old? Finally sleeping in after having a week of 8am classes? Scrambling to your job that funds all your stupid vices? Maybe it was stressing over picking the sluttiest outfit you can wear since you had a frat party and needed all eyes on you?

That realm of life seemed impossible for you. When you’re from Brimstone you don’t have the privilege of worrying about those things—no, instead on this fine Saturday morning you’re groggily rubbing your eyes open at 6am, while Hunter is panicking about the land lord who’s five seconds away from knocking the door down.

“Dude just answer,” you say annoyed, you could barely sleep last night and the last thing you needed was this antsy land lord playing drums on the door.

“I fucking can’t!” Hunter whisper yells, crouching down to your position on the floor where you had slept the night prior. “He’s gonna hand me an eviction notice when he sees me!”

And that is how your weekend begins when you’re from Brimstone.

After ignoring the loud knocks for some time, the land lord left grumbling angry curses at Hunter.

“So you’re backed up on two months of rent?” you ask, learning the information from the man that was once outside the door.

The older guy sighs with a nod, “Yeah, you know how it is. I haven’t been getting much races lately. I should’ve put a wager on you when you raced that Blond douche,” he says with a hollow chuckle.

You frown. You know exactly how it is. It’s not rare for you to walk into the garage and hear the whispers of unhappy Sinners about their pay cut.

Race clubs had their own economy. The quickest way for racers to make money was by paying an entry fee to compete, with the total pool going to the winning racer or crew. Crews like the Sinners also occasionally hosted parties, collecting entry fees to boost their earnings.

But gambling was the bread and butter—side bets, wagers, and deals made on the outcome of races. Anyone could place a bet, whether it was on their own crew or against them, but most of the money came from outsiders: third-party crews or devoted townspeople.

And then there was the fastest, most dangerous way to make cash.

“Didn’t you have a sponsor?” you asked.

Hunter's jaw tightened, and a shadow of bitterness crossed his face. "Yeah, I did. But things went south," he muttered. "Sponsors aren't what they used to be. They're too caught up in politics, or they want a cut so big it's not worth the payout."

You nodded, understanding that finding and keeping a sponsor was a double-edged sword. While they offered financial stability and access to better equipment, they came with strings attached—controlling interests, unwanted appearances, and expectations that sometimes choked a racer's freedom. You had to be in at least the top 5% of racer's to even be considered by a sponsor, and Hunter was just that good. But that lifestyle was clearly not worth it for him. You don't blame him, you've heard the stories of sponsor's having crazy asks for their prodigies.

"You'd be a sponsor's dream you know?" he suddenly says.

You quirk a brow up, not knowing how so.

"You're a great racer, you get along well with the rich, you're submissive—

"I am not submissive!"

————

After some more banter with Hunter you finally proceed with your morning and freshen up. As you're standing in front of the bathroom sink, wondering how you're going to brush your teeth, you noticed two toothbrushes in the holder.

Hunter lived alone.

Not knowing the origins of the second toothbrush and not willing to risk it, you opted to brush your teeth using your finger, and splashed some cool water on your face, trying to chase away the exhaustion and pull yourself together.

As you stared at your reflection in the mirror, a chill slid down your spine. Shock had a strange way of altering a person’s expression—jaw locked, eyes hardened, gaze steely. The revelations of last night were etched into your face like battle scars.

You were scared. Everything you heard last night was real—things that will directly impact you and your loved ones. It wasn’t just some joke, it was real life. And about your father...ever since the revelations of last night, it's been weighing on you—if you should tell your mom about the foul play in her husband’s death. How do you even tell someone that?

Your hands tightened around the edge of the sink, water dripping off your face and pooling on the counter. You thought about how it didn't shock you more to learn that your father’s death was no accident. Did that make you a terrible daughter? You thought of Anton, always armed, always prepared for whatever might come his way. Of course this life was brutal. Your father had been a founder, a leader—how could it not be dangerous?

But who wanted your father dead?

That was rather the question that gnawed at you, digging deeper with every passing second. Who could have wanted him gone, and why? Your fingers clenched the porcelain sink harder, the tremor in your hands matched by the anger coursing through you. And then the tears came undone, streaking down your face and mingling with the water already on the counter.

“Y/n?” Hunter’s voice cut through the fog of your mind, followed by a knock on the bathroom door. “Hey, you okay in there?”

You sucked in a shaky breath, fighting to steady yourself. Now was not the time nor place for breaking down.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you called out, forcing your voice into something resembling normalcy. You wiped your face with the back of your hand and swung the door open. Hunter stood there, a towel draped over his arm, eyes shadowed with worry.

He frowned as you brushed past him, taking the towel and pressing it to your damp face. The silence hung between you.

Hunter’s gaze followed you as you moved, his eyes full of questions. “Y/n, look” he started his voice soft, hesitant, as if he was afraid that speaking too loudly would shatter you. "I don't know what's going on with you. But I know it's a lot. I already know that Jenna is a Viper and now this Ghost Smoke shit. You can talk to me about whatever you're dealing with if you want."

You paused, towel clenched in your fists, staring blankly at the wall. The weight of everything threatened to crush you, but you felt the warmth of Hunter’s hand as he reached out, resting it on your shoulder. That simple touch was enough to crack the fragile shield you’d tried so hard to maintain.

Tears welled up again, this time falling freely. Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out, each one tugging at the raw wound inside you. “Hunter, I don't know what to do.”

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a firm embrace. The warmth and steadiness of him anchored you as you broke down, sobs shaking your frame.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he whispered, his hand gently rubbing your back. “We’ll figure this out, I promise. You’re not alone.”

The floodgates opened, and you told him everything—how you met Jenna, her request to find dirt on Percy, your dad supposedly wanting out of the Sinners, and the revelation that Bullet and Apex weren’t just names, but legacies tied to betrayal and death. Hunter listened in silence, holding you tight, his own expression darkening with every word.

In that moment, the fear and uncertainty didn’t vanish, but they felt a little more bearable. You had someone who knew, someone who would stand by you.

————

You and Hunter sat side by side on his worn couch, the late morning sun casting a soft light through the window. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable now; it was a shared reprieve after an outpouring of truths.

Hunter leaned back, one arm resting along the back of the couch, the other in the bag of chips he pulled out for you two. Your breakfast. He let out a breath, shaking his head slowly. “So, Jenna came to you with this whole thing about Percy and the Ghost Smoke operation, and you just… jumped in? Talk about submissive.”

You punch his shoulder lightly, and managed a small smile, the relief of finally sharing the truth giving your chest room to breathe. “I didn’t think it would spiral like this,” you admitted. “It was supposed to be simple—find out what Percy was up to, help Jenna. But now, with what we know...”

Hunter’s eyes darkened as he nodded. “It’s more than just racing politics. It’s deeper, more dangerous.” He glanced at you, concern still etched into his features. “And you’re sure Anton has no idea you’re involved?”

The question hung heavy between you, but you felt more grounded now. You nodded. “For now, he doesn’t. But I don’t know how long that will last.”

A sudden thought crossed your mind, and you straightened. “Do you think Mikey knows Jenna is with the Vipers?”

Hunter shrugged, "She give you any reason to think that?"

"She was just... observant man. The other day—when we went on the drive. She remembered the Aston from the footage she saw of me and Jenna. Said something about how it was the car I rolled in with 'my girl' in."

Hunter’s smirk returned, and he nudged you again, playfulness edging out the tension. “Maybe she’s paying close attention because she’s totally into you.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile lingered. “I’m being serious, Hunter.”

“Alright, alright,” Hunter said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “But on that note... we need to talk about the Aston.”

You frowned, a hint of confusion crossing your face. “What about it?”

Hunter leaned forward, the playful glint in his eyes replaced by seriousness. “Think about it. We crashed that meeting last night and got caught snooping around. The only lead they have on us is the car. They know we escaped in the AM. If they’re looking for anything, it’ll be that.”

Fuck he was right.

"I say we demolish it. Scrap it for parts or something."

"—no!" you exclaim interrupting his thought. "I'll find a place to have it stashed. Don't worry."

The older guy squinted his eyes in confusion. You were a mechanic, you never got attached to your cars. You knew better than anyone that cars come and go. Yet you couldn't let go of this one.

————

Being a mechanic had its perks, and one of the best was the network of wealthy clientele you’d built over the years. If someone had enough money to buy a custom-built, fully modded car from you, chances were they also had plenty of land—land that could discreetly store a car like yours. Now, you just had to hope their generosity matched the size of their bank accounts.

You stepped out onto the balcony as you scroll through your phone, siffling through your contacts.

"Hmm, maybe John might help me out," you mummer to yourself pressing call.

John was one of your more calm clients. He was the proud new owner of a 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1. You’d delivered the car just over a month ago—the same night Anton nearly gave you a heart attack by pulling a mock robbery, complete with a gun pointed at you. You shook the memory from your mind, focusing instead on the call as it began to ring.

You first engaged with some small talk before you asked him for help. For all you knew he was a sponsor involved in some shady shit, maybe even involved in Ghost Smoke. Is this what paranoia is?

"I hope there's no complaints about the Mustang," you laugh lightly.

"No complaints Y/n."

"Amazing...so I actually need a favour," you said, leaning on the balcony railing. “I’ve got a car I need to tuck away for a while. Somewhere discreet. Think you could help?”

There was a brief pause, then a hum of consideration. “Hmm, yeah, I’ve got a lake house not too far from here. You can stash it there. No one will bother it.”

“Appreciate it. I’ll swing by later today.”

“Anytime kid,” he said before the call ended.

You exhaled, relief washing over you. One less problem to worry about—for now.

————

After letting Hunter know you’d secured a spot for the car, you set out for the address John had texted. The drive felt almost reflective, the Aston Martin humming beneath you like it understood the significance of this moment. Arriving at the secluded lake house, you carefully parked the car— the car that had genuinely started it all for you.

The Uber ride back to Hunter's was quiet, except for occasional small talk with the driver and faint chatter of the radio. You leaned your head against the window, letting the scenery blur as you reflected on everything that had unfolded.

Your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. Hunter’s name flashed on the screen. You swiped to answer.

"Hey," you greeted.

"Hey, where are you?" Hunter's voice was calm but direct.

"In an Uber. On my way back to yours."

"Cool, change of plans. Head to Brenda’s Diner instead."

You frowned, the name clicking in your memory. "Brenda’s? That’s in the next city, like forty minutes away. Why there?"

"Just meet me. We’ll grab breakfast, Hunter said nonchalantly. "I’m almost there already,"

Your confusion deepened, your brows furrowing. "Why are you suddenly all the way out there? And why can’t we eat closer to your place?"

He sighed, "Jenna texted me, okay? She asked me to come here, so I’m here. So just come.”

You blinked, caught off guard. "Wait, what? Jenna texted you? Why does she even have your number?"

Hunter chuckled lightly, clearly amused by your confusion. "Relax, Y/n. Just come here. Who knows, maybe she’ll butter your biscuits or drizzle your pancakes."

"Excuse me—what?" you sputtered, but before you could say more, he hung up, leaving you staring at your phone in disbelief.

You slumped back in the seat, your mind racing. What in the actual hell is going on?

————

“Thank you sir," you say as you get out the Uber. You squint your eyes as you take in the red and yellow sign that said that read Brenda’s. Even the sun shined brighter in this town, from what you knew the town you were currently in—Countsville, wasn’t tainted with race crews and class differences. It was an average suburban town.

You couldn’t help but wonder why Jenna had called you here of all places. Did she have some secret life here? A hidden family? The absurd thought made you chuckle under your breath as you shook your head.

Pulling out your phone, you caught your reflection in the camera and quickly fixed your hair. A pang of nervousness hit you out of nowhere, making you hesitate. Why were you even nervous? Shaking off the feeling, you squared your shoulders and stepped inside.

“Ah, there she is! Y/n!” Hunter’s voice boomed, his arm shooting into the air to wave you over like you were lost in a crowd.

Your eyes darted to him, already settled comfortably in a booth, and then to the two women seated across from him—Jenna and the girl from last night. The one whose name you still didn’t know.

Your steps slowed as their hushed conversation came to an abrupt halt. Without a word, you slid into the booth next to Hunter.

Hunter leaned back in the booth, a smirk playing on his lips. “Took you long enough. Thought maybe you needed a treasure map to find this place.”

“Ha ha,” you deadpanned. Your gaze darted to Jenna, sitting across from you with her arms crossed and her focus firmly planted on the coffee in front of her. She didn’t even glance up when you sat down.

The girl sitting next to her, however—was the complete opposite. She was all smiles, her gaze bouncing between you and Jenna like she was waiting for something to happen between you both.

“Uh, hey. I don’t think we’ve been introduced?” you said, leaning forward slightly.

“I’m Aliyah,” she replied, her grin widening as she reached across the table, hand outstretched.

You took it, chuckling softly. “Nice to meet you.”

Aliyah’s smile turned teasing. “I’m Jenna’s sister.”

“Sister?!” Your jaw dropped as you let go of her hand, the word practically punching its way out of your mouth. Was she a Viper too? Did you get caught up in a family of snakes?

“Well it's nice to meet you,” you muttered, your attention flickering to Jenna. “So, uh, what’s this all about?” You doubt she invited you here to introduce you to her family.

Nothing. Not a word. Jenna’s silence was loud, deafening even, as she swirled her spoon in her coffee like you weren’t even there.

Hunter glanced between the two of you, clearly picking up on the tension. “Oh, this is fun. Should I just grab some popcorn, or…?”

You shot him a glare. “Not helping.”

“Not trying,” he quipped, leaning back with a lazy grin. “Anyway, why don’t you ask Jenna why we’re here? She’s the mastermind behind this little breakfast summit.”

You turned back to her, trying again. “Jenna?”

Still nothing.

“Seriously?” you asked, the irritation creeping into your voice. “You’re just going to ignore me?”

Jenna finally looked up, her expression cool and indifferent. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you talking to me? Hard to tell when you’ve been acting like I don’t exist for the past few days.”

Hunter snorted, barely holding back a laugh. “She got you there.”

You sighed, sinking back into your seat. This wasn’t what you had anticipated. Sure, you figured she’d be upset about you ghosting her, but you thought you’d moved past that. Last night at the meeting, it felt like you’d reached some kind of unspoken understanding. Yet here she was now, stone-faced and silent, her cold shoulder speaking louder than words.

“Anyways, can we get some actual food in here before someone combusts?”

Aliyah snickered, clearly amused by the dynamic. “Sure, Hunter. Anything to save the day.” She turned her attention to you. “You have to try these pancakes, Brenda’s makes the best pancakes in town!"

Jenna muttered under her breath, just loud enough for you to catch. “Probably too busy to eat pancakes these days.”

Your jaw clenched, but you forced yourself to stay calm. This wasn’t the time or place to start something. Instead, you turned to Aliyah, doing your best to ignore Jenna’s jab. “Yeah, pancakes sound good. Let’s do it.”

Hunter raised his hand to flag down a server. “Pancakes for the table, and maybe a side of good vibes, yeah?”

————

For the past 20 minutes, the table had been quietly enjoying their pancakes, the clinking of cutlery filling the gaps in conversation. You caught Hunter sneaking a glance at your plate, his eyes drifting to the fluffy stack of pastries and then to the glass jar of maple syrup conveniently sitting right next to Jenna. With a sly grin, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, clearly not letting his earlier joke die.

Aliyah finally broke the silence, her voice cutting through the calm. "Alright, since Jenna's committed to this whole silent act, I guess I’ll get us started. Last night was absolutely insane, and I think we seriously need to talk about everything we learned."

You frowned, glancing between the two girls across from you. “Wait, we? What do you mean, we?”

Aliyah looked at you like you’d asked a ridiculous question. “I mean we, as in all of us sitting here. Jenna, Hunter, me—you. We’re in this now.”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your brow furrowing deeper. “But… Jenna got her dirt on Percy, didn’t she? That’s what all this was supposed to be about. What more does she have to do with any of this?”

The words came out sharper than you intended, and for the first time since you’d arrived, Jenna’s eyes snapped up to meet yours. Her expression was calm but laced with a distinct edge—and some hurt?

“Are you serious?” she said, setting her coffee cup down with a soft clink. “You think I can just walk away now?”

“Why not?” you shot back. “You wanted proof of what Percy was doing, and you got it. That’s what you asked me to help you with. This whole Ghost Smoke thing—it’s not your problem.”

Jenna’s jaw tightened, and her lips pressed into a thin line. For a moment, it looked like she was biting back a retort. Aliyah, however, was quick to jump in.

“It’s everyone’s problem,” she said firmly, her voice cutting through the tension. “Ghost Smoke isn’t just some petty racing drama, Y/n. It’s destroying lives, and if the Vipers start pushing it harder, it’s going to get worse. Way worse.”

Hunter nodded, his usual laid-back demeanor replaced by something more serious. “Aliyah’s right. Last night wasn’t just some casual run-in with Percy’s people. That dealer wasn’t joking around, and you saw how he talked about the ‘boss.’ They’re planning something big.”

You leaned back in your seat, the weight of their words sinking in. But still, a part of you couldn’t shake the nagging thought that none of this should fall on Jenna—or you, for that matter.

"I don't want you two getting involved," you said, your tone flat and detached, though the tightness in your chest betrayed the storm underneath. You stared at your plate, pushing a piece of pancake around with your fork, avoiding their eyes.

Jenna scoffed, the sound sharp and cutting. “Are you serious right now? You don’t want us involved? After everything last night?”

Your gaze remained fixed downward, even as her frustration bristled against you. “It’s not your fight,” you muttered.

“Not my—?” Jenna’s voice rose, and you finally looked up to see her glaring at you, her hands gripping the edge of the table. “You don’t get to make that call! You think you can just decide when you want me around and when you don't? Newsflash—you’re already in deep, and so are we. There’s no undoing it now.”

You stayed silent, your jaw clenching as you tried to tamp down the surge of emotions threatening to surface. She wasn’t wrong, but she didn’t understand. Couldn’t understand.

You couldn’t drag them further into a world where people are pushing drugs—where people are capable of taking lives, just like they had taken your father’s and uncle's.

“It doesn’t matter why,” you said finally, your voice still low. “I just… I don’t want you involved. Either of you. That’s all.”

Jenna let out an incredulous laugh, throwing her hands in the air. “Unbelievable," she muttered, pushing back her chair abruptly and standing up, her frustration was palpable as she strode toward the diner’s exit.

You watched her leave, a pang of guilt twisting in your stomach. Hunter sighed beside you, leaning back in his seat.

“She’s not wrong, you know,” he said quietly. “You can’t do this alone. They were there last night. As much as you don't it to be true, they're now part of it.”

You didn’t respond, the weight of your own thoughts pressing down too heavily. Even though your intentions were to protect them, you couldn’t help but feel like you were only making things worse.

————

"If you grip the wheel any harder, it’s going to fuse with your hands," Aliyah quipped, casting a cautious glance at her sister.

Jenna shot her a sharp side-eye but said nothing, her focus fixed on the road ahead as they made their way home.

When it became clear that Jenna wasn’t going to return to the table, Aliyah had reluctantly followed her, leaving behind the unfinished business that had brought them all together in the first place.

“I don’t get it,” Aliyah said, breaking the silence. “I thought you two were fine last night. What’s with the sudden mood swing?”

Jenna’s grip on the wheel tightened even further, her knuckles white against the leather. She thought she had been fine too. Last night, things had felt different—maybe not perfect, but at least... manageable. But seeing you again today had stirred something raw and unexpected inside her.

It's not your problem, you said.

“I don’t know,” she muttered, her voice strained, as though admitting it hurt.

"Well I don't think your girl—sorry Y/n had any bad intentions. And if you really want to get involved in this Brimstone drama, then you have to make up with her eventually" Aliyah said, her tone gentler now.

Jenna let out a slow breath through her nose, her eyes never leaving the road. “It’s not that simple,” she murmured. “She ghosted me, Aliyah. And now she’s acting like she has to carry everything on her own, like I can’t handle myself. She wanted me around at first and now she decides I'm out? Oh I'm sorry I wasn't aware I was some fucking doll.”

“Or,” Aliyah countered, “maybe she’s terrified of something way bigger than you realize and doesn’t want to drag you—us into it.”

That struck a nerve. Jenna’s fingers twitched against the steering wheel as she mulled over her sister’s words. Was it fear? Was that why you were pushing her away? Her frustration softened slightly, but the knot in her chest didn’t loosen.

“Even if that’s true, she’s going about it the wrong way,” Jenna said after a moment. “I can’t help if she keeps shutting me out.”

Aliyah smirked faintly, crossing her arms. “So tell her that. You’re not the type to sit around and wait for someone else to fix things, right? Go confront her, like the fiery little Viper you are.”

Jenna rolled her eyes at her sister’s teasing, but the words stayed with her. Maybe Aliyah was right—waiting wasn’t getting her anywhere, and the Brimstone situation wasn’t something she could handle without you. As much as she hated to admit it, you were already too entangled with one another for her to pretend otherwise.

She exhaled sharply, determination taking root. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll figure it out. But if she tries to pull some shit on me again, I won't hold back."

Aliyah grinned. “Now that’s the Jenna I know.”

Aliyah sighed in relief, glad her words had managed to ease her sister’s frustration. She could have kept up the teasing, sure, but she knew better. Deep down, she understood the root of Jenna’s anger—it wasn’t just about the danger or the argument at breakfast.

You weren’t wrong, after all. As far as Aliyah knew, the terms of whatever arrangement you and Jenna had were clear: you’d help her get what she needed, and once she had it, that was that. Simple, transactional, with no strings attached. But that simplicity seemed to be the very thing eating at Jenna now.

It wasn’t just frustration; it was hurt. Hurt because Jenna realized you seemed okay with it all ending there—with the two of you going your separate ways. And it wasn’t okay for her. Aliyah could see it—the sadness in Jenna’s eyes, the way her jaw clenched just a bit tighter than usual. It wasn’t about the Ghost Smoke or Brimstone drama anymore. It was about you.

Her sister wasn’t mad at you for walking away. She was sad that you didn’t seem to need her the way she found herself needing you. Sad that she no longer had a reason to stay connected.

Aliyah glanced at her sister, who was staring straight ahead, her grip on the wheel lighter now but still firm. Jenna didn’t want to admit it, not yet, but she was falling. And Aliyah could only hope she didn’t hit the ground too hard.

As Aliyah mindlessly glanced at her side view mirror, she noticed something.

"Uhm sis, do you think that car's been following us?"

Jenna raises her gaze up to the rear view mirror and she spotted the same car that had been trailing them for a while now—a solid black Escalade. But California traffic is like that, the typical resident wasn't going to lane change like a racer. "I'm sure it's nothing."

Still, to be safe, she made a series of deliberate right turns, one after the other, her pulse quickening with each corner. When she glanced at the mirror again, her fears solidified. The car was still there.

“It’s not nothing, Ali. They are following us,” Jenna said, her voice low but tinged with rising panic.

Aliyah stiffened beside her, her wide eyes darting to the side mirror. “W-what? Who do you think it is? Percy? Or those guys from yesterday?”

Jenna’s jaw clenched as she considered their options.

"Aliyah, call Y/n. Now," Jenna ordered, her voice steady, tossing her phone to her sister.

Aliyah fumbled with the phone, her fingers trembling. “What do I even say? ‘Hey, someone’s following us, want to join the party?’” she muttered nervously, trying to mask her fear.

Jenna shot her a sharp look. “Just tell her where we are and what’s happening. She’ll know what to do.”

Aliyah hesitated for a split second before dialing your number. “It's ringing.” Aliyah whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbeat.

"Jenna?"

The girl driving couldn't help but feel relief upon the sound of your voice, maybe it was because you both have faced many high stakes situations together and have always made it out on the other side. And in that moment, she felt certain you’d all make it through this one too.

“Okay, so, there’s this car, and it’s been following us for a while. Jenna took a bunch of right turns, and they’re still there. We don’t know who they are, but—”

“Aliyah,” you interrupted, your tone sharp with focus. “Put Jenna on.”

Aliyah quickly handed the phone over, and Jenna brought it to her ear without taking her eyes off the rearview mirror.

“Jenna, can you lose them?” you asked, voice soft, sensing her hesitation.

“I-I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “I’ve never done this before—what if I mess up? What if—”

“Jenna,” you interrupted gently, but firmly. “Take a deep breath. You’ve got this. But I need you to help me help you, okay? What’s up ahead?”

Jenna blinked, her focus flicking back to the road. “Uh, there’s a left turn coming up, and... a main road with a lot of traffic.”

“Alright, take the left. Make it clean.”

She nodded, her hands slightly shaky as she turned the wheel, the tires squealing lightly.

“Good,” you encouraged. “Now tell me what’s next. What do you see?”

“There’s an on-ramp to the highway coming up,” she said, her voice tight with nerves.

“Perfect. Get on the highway. Blend into traffic and use the cars to block their line of sight.”

“Okay,” she whispered, guiding the car toward the ramp as Aliyah sat rigid in her seat.

“You’re doing great, Jenna,” you said, keeping your voice calm and steady. “Just focus. You’re faster and smarter than them. Trust yourself.”

Jenna weaved into traffic, her grip still tight on the wheel. She glanced in the rearview mirror and tensed. “They’re still back there.”

“Stay calm,” you said. “What’s in your lane? Any big vehicles?”

“Yeah... there’s a semi up ahead,” she replied, her voice rising with nervous energy.

“Good. Get in its blind spot. Use it as cover. When you’re close to an exit, slip off. They’ll have to stay on the highway.”

She exhaled shakily, maneuvering into position as you guided her through. The tension in the car was thick, but she followed your instructions to the letter.

“Whenever you’re ready,” you said softly.

Jenna swerved off the highway, her heart pounding as the pursuing car sped past the exit.

“They’re gone,” she whispered, her voice thick with disbelief.

“You did it, Jenna,” you said, pride clear in your tone.

She let out a shaky laugh, her shoulders finally relaxing. “We did it,” she corrected, a small smile tugging at her lips.

The line went silent for a moment, the weight of what had just happened hanging in the air. Then, breaking the tension, your voice cut through with a sudden, determined tone.

“Jenna, listen. Can you go home, pack a bag for you and Aliyah, and meet me and Hunter at the mall we went to?”

Jenna’s brow furrowed in confusion. Moments ago, you were adamant about keeping her out of your life, and now you were asking her to pack a bag? She glanced at Aliyah, whose puzzled expression mirrored her own.

Aliyah shrugged dramatically, mouthing, “YOLO.”

“Why?” Jenna asked, her tone cautious.

“I’ll explain everything when we meet. Just trust me and do it, okay?”

Jenna hesitated, her mind racing with questions, but something in your voice made her pause. Finally, she exhaled. “Okay. We’ll meet you there.” And hung up the phone.

“Well, would you look at that—your little lover’s quarrel is finally wrapping up,” Aliyah teased, her grin wide.

“Shut up,” Jenna shot back, though the corners of her lips betrayed her as they curved into a reluctant smile. “I’m still mad at her.”

————

“You two are so confusing,” Hunter chuckled as he drove, his laughter filling the car. “Do you hate each other? Or are you about to jump each other’s bones? Seriously, I can never tell.”

You rolled your eyes, but deep down, you couldn’t help but think he had a point.

“So, care to explain why we’re all packing a bag and meeting up with them again?” Hunter asked, his tone laced with curiosity.

“We’re going on a weekend getaway,” you replied nonchalantly.

Hunter’s head whipped toward you, excitement lighting up his face. “No way! I’ve always wanted to do the Bahamas.”

You laughed. “Not the Bahamas, Hunt. Just somewhere a few hours away. After everything that went down—the meeting, the girls being followed—I think it’s smart for all of us to lay low for a few days. I’m not taking any chances.”

Hunter nodded dramatically, placing a hand over his chest like he was pledging allegiance. “Protecting your girl and your sister-in-law. I respect it.”

Ignoring his teasing, you redirected him. “Just drive us to the garage,” you said firmly. “I need to let Anton know we’ll be out of town for a few days. The last thing I need is him freaking out and sending a search party.”

————

As Hunter pulls into the garage, you take in the sight of the Sinners hard at work, each one laser-focused on their tasks. Was there a race coming up?

Stepping out of the car, your eyes land on Anton at the back, working on a car with Mason. You hadn't seen Mason in a while—not since the Sinner-Viper race nearly two months ago. Not that you missed him; Mason was one of the most aggravating members of the crew. Apparently, Anton in the moment thought so too, judging by the way he was yelling at him for some reason.

"Hey! Long time, no see."

You turned to see Mikey approaching, her brown eyes bright with curiosity.

She tilted her head, eyes scanning both you and Hunter. "So, what have you two been up to?"

"Oh, you know," Hunter chimed in, "just the usual. Saving the day and eating pancakes"

Mikey raised a brow, her skepticism softened by amusement. “Uh-huh. Sounds like you two are living the dream.”

She shifted her attention to you, crossing her arms. “Haven’t seen you around for a few days. No more late nights at the garage?”

You felt a flicker of unease. Something about Mikey always made you cautious, as if she could see right through you. Keeping your tone casual, you rubbed the back of your neck. “Yeah, the Aston’s finished, so I’m finally catching up on sleep. Not much reason to be here right now.”

Mikey tilted her head, clearly not satisfied with your vague answer. “Really? And here I thought this place was your second home. What’s been keeping you busy?”

Before you could formulate a response, Hunter swooped in. “Oh, don’t worry, we’re not slacking off. We’re just gearing up for a little road trip.”

“Road trip?” Mikey repeated, her interest clearly piqued.

Hunter nodded, grinning. “Yeah, figured it’s time for some fresh air and open roads. Recharge the batteries, you know?”

You shot him a subtle glare, but he just winked at you, unfazed.

Mikey narrowed her eyes slightly, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “Interesting. Well, have fun with that. Don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Us? Trouble?” Hunter gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Never.”

"We actually came here to let Anton know we’ll be gone for a couple of days,” you say, flashing Mikey a polite smile. “Catch you later.” Without waiting for a response, you grab Hunter’s arm and drag him along.

“Would it kill you not to spill everything?” you hiss under your breath.

Hunter shrugged, his usual carefree grin firmly in place. “Relax. It’s gonna get out eventually that we’re taking a couple days off. If we act shady, it’ll just make people more suspicious.”

You sighed, shaking your head at his nonchalance. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Together, you made your way toward the back of the garage, where Anton and Mason were knee-deep in their latest project.

“I don’t know why I keep you around, Mason,” Anton groaned, his hands dragging down his face in exasperation. “You incompetent fool!”

Hearing your footsteps, he glanced up, his frustration momentarily melting into surprise. “Y/n? What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” you greeted, keeping your tone light. “I'm kind of in a rush, but just wanted to let you know Hunter and I are heading out of town for a couple of days. Figured I’d let you know so you don’t worry.”

Anton’s brows furrowed as he straightened up, eyeing the both of you. “Heading out? What for?”

“Just a road trip,” you said casually, shrugging like it was no big deal. “You know, get some fresh air, clear our heads. Nothing major.”

His eyes flicked to Hunter, then back to you, his suspicion barely veiled. “Where to and who’s going?”

"We don't really know yet, wanna see where the road takes us you know? And just us two," you replied smoothly, lying without hesitation.

Anton’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he was going to press harder. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, fine. But something feels off about this, and I don’t like it.” He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “If this is about something dangerous, you better tell me now. You know I’ll have your back.”

You swallowed hard but maintained your composure. “It’s not, I promise. We’ll be fine.”

He didn’t look convinced. Anton studied you for a moment longer before nodding, though his concern was evident. "Alright. Just be careful out there, okay? Keep your phones on and don't do anything stupid."

"Got it," you promised, trying to sound reassuring.

Hunter gave Anton a mock salute. "We'll be model citizens, swear."

Anton rolled his eyes but didn't press further. As you turned to leave, Mason chimed in from where he was leaning against the car. "Bring me back something cool! Like a souvenir or somethin'!"

Hunter snorted. "Sure thing, buddy. How about a map so you can finally figure out how to navigate a racetrack without crashing?"

You couldn't help but laugh as you walked away, though Anton's lingering concern weighed heavily in the back of your mind.

————

The SUV you “borrowed” from the garage rumbled along the highway as you adjusted your grip on the wheel, glancing at Hunter slouched comfortably in the passenger seat. Your packed bag sat in the back alongside his, evidence of your brief pit stop at home. 

The memory of Anton’s concerned expression lingered, gnawing at you. You hated that you hadn’t told him the truth. He’d lost his father too���same as you—and you knew better than anyone how much that loss shaped him. How much it shaped both of you. But unlike you, Anton didn’t know there was more to the story. That it wasn’t just a tragic accident.

You felt awful for keeping it from him, for standing there and letting him believe everything was fine. But what were you supposed to do? Drop that bombshell and then tell him you were heading out of town for a few days? There was no way he’d have let you leave. No way he wouldn’t try to step in, to get involved.

And as much as it tore you up inside, you couldn’t let that happen. Not yet. Protecting Jenna—and by extension, your fragile alliance with her—had to come first. There was too much at stake, and dragging Anton into it now would only complicate things further. Still, the weight of your silence felt heavier with each passing mile.

“You good?” Hunter’s voice broke through your spiraling thoughts, pulling you back to the present.

“Yeah,” you muttered, though the word felt hollow.

He raised a brow but didn’t push, thankfully. Instead, he leaned back in his seat, letting the conversation from earlier drift back in.

“I gotta admit. I thought Anton would take a lot more convincing.”

Hunter glanced at you with a smirk. “What, you thought he’d put his foot down? He knows you’re stubborn as hell. Probably figured there was no point fighting you on it.”

“Maybe,” you murmured, though a part of you wasn’t so sure. Anton letting you go that easily still didn’t sit right. He’d been wary, his words cautious, but ultimately, he hadn’t stopped you. You wondered if he trusted you more than you expected—or if he had reasons of his own for letting you leave.

Shaking the thought from your mind, you shifted the conversation. “By the way, you seemed pretty comfortable with Jenna and Aliyah back at the diner.”

Hunter shrugged nonchalantly. “They’re cool. Aliyah’s funny, and Jenna’s… well, Jenna. We were just chatting for a bit before you showed up.”

“Before I showed up?” you echoed, glancing at him skeptically. “She didn’t seem in a chatty mood when I got there.”

Hunter chuckled. “I guess I have that effect on people. Smooth-talker, remember?”

Something about the way he said it made you pause, a memory resurfacing. “Wait. Jenna texted you, didn’t she? How do you even know her?”

Hunter tensed ever so slightly, and you didn’t miss it. “Uh… well…”

The gears in your head were starting to turn. “Hunter,” you pressed, narrowing your eyes. “How do you know Jenna?”

He fidgeted with his hands, clearly stalling. “It’s complicated, alright? Don’t worry about it.”

Before you could demand an answer, the bright lights of the mall parking lot came into view, and you spotted Jenna and Aliyah parked and waiting near the back of the mall. Hunter exhaled dramatically, clearly relieved to be off the hook—for now.

"We're here," he announced unnecessarily, pointing out the obvious.

You rolled your eyes but focused on parking the SUV. As soon as you stepped out, Jenna's sharp gaze locked onto you, her arms crossed, while Aliyah waved with a cheeky grin. Whatever Hunter was hiding would have to wait.

You park the SUV next to their car and step out, heading straight for the trunk. Without a word, you pop it open before turning toward Jenna and Aliyah. Stretching out your hands, you motion for their bags.

Aliyah hands over her duffle bag without hesitation, but Jenna hesitates, squinting at you with suspicion. Her scoff cuts through the quiet as you turn around and load the bags into the trunk.

Following you to the back of the SUV, she crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "Uhm, are you planning to explain what's going on anytime soon?"

You close the trunk with a sharp thunk and meet her gaze, keeping your tone steady. "I will."

You glance over your shoulder, flashing her a grin. "Oh, and hey—nice work shaking those guys. Not everyone's got those skills. Seriously, you were impressive."

As you turn back to the SUV, Jenna's voice comes softly, almost shyly, "Thanks."

You don't catch it, too focused on adjusting the bags in the trunk, but Aliyah and Hunter exchange knowing looks. Jenna's rare vulnerability wasn't something they saw often, and the faint pink dusting her cheeks didn't go unnoticed either.

————

You merge onto Interstate 5, the highway stretching south through California. The evening sun dips lower on the horizon, painting the sky in streaks of gold and fiery orange. Hunter has his window down, one arm draped lazily over the edge, while Aliyah hums along to a faint tune playing on the radio. Jenna sits diagonally across from you, arms crossed, her gaze fixed out the window. The soft pout on her lips and the sharpness of her glare suggest she’s deep in thought—and likely still mad at you.

You glance at her through the rearview mirror, unable to help the small smile that tugs at your lips. Even in her frustration, she looks ridiculously adorable.

As you bring your eyes back to the road, they flicker back to the mirror—and that’s when it happens. Jenna catches your gaze, her sharp brown eyes locking onto yours.

Crap.

She breaks the silence, her tone firm but tinged with curiosity. “Alright, enough stalling. Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

You’re relieved she doesn’t make a snarky comment about catching you staring. Instead, you sigh and focus back on the road, deciding it’s time to answer her question.

“I’m sorry,” you start, glancing briefly at her reflection, then at Aliyah. “To both of you. You were right earlier… about being involved in all this.”

Hunter nods in silent approval from the passenger seat, encouraging you to keep going. “…As much as I don’t want either of you involved,” you continue, catching him facepalming out of the corner of your eye, “there’s no avoiding it now.”

"Neither one of can help it, and that car following you? It kind of put things into perspective for me. So I think the safe option for all of us to get out of town for a few days."

Jenna raises a brow, her expression unreadable, but she doesn’t respond right away. Aliyah and Hunter both glance at each other, waiting for someone to fill the silence. When Jenna finally speaks, her voice is softer than you expected. “Still didn’t answer the question,” she says. “Where are we going?”

You shrug one shoulder, keeping your eyes on the road. “I don’t know,” you admit with a lopsided grin. “I’m just driving.”

Jenna stares at you for a long moment before exhaling and shaking her head. She doesn’t voice the acceptance of your apology, but something in her gaze softens, and you can tell she’s made her peace with it—for now.

“Unbelievable,” she mutters, loud enough for everyone to hear. “We’re on the run, and you’re winging it? Great plan, genius.”

Aliyah bursts into laughter, and Hunter cheers, “This is classic! Road trip roulette—who needs a destination when you’ve got vibes?” 

Jenna pinches the bridge of her nose, mumbling something under her breath, but you swear you catch the faintest hint of a smile.

————

The next hour passes surprisingly smoothly. Everyone keeps themselves entertained in their own way, avoiding any mention of the issues that pushed you all to leave town in the first place. Aliyah has her headphones in, swaying gently to whatever music she’s listening to, while Jenna scrolls through her phone, occasionally glancing out the window. Hunter fiddles with the radio, switching stations until he finds a faintly decent song, only to switch it again moments later.

You keep your focus on the road, but your mind drifts. A part of you wished you could bring back the easy banter you used to have with Jenna—back before you ghosted her. It would've made the drive so much more fun. Instead, there’s this quiet tension hanging in the air between you two, one you’re desperately hoping will dissolve sooner rather than later. At least Hunter agreed to take over driving on the way back. Maybe by then, things between you and Jenna will be better.

Suddenly, Hunter starts humming, his voice cutting through the silence. At first, it’s aimless, but then it takes shape.

“Ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of milk!” he sings loudly, grinning as he looks around at everyone.

You groan. “Oh, no. Don’t.”

Aliyah chuckles behind you, joining in softly, “Take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of milk on the wall!”

Jenna sighs dramatically but mutters, “This is so dumb,” just before she jumps in on the next line. Within minutes, the whole car erupts into an awkward yet oddly harmonious singalong, voices overlapping and laughter spilling between verses. By the time you hit ninety-five bottles, everyone’s belting at the top of their lungs.

It’s ridiculous, it’s cheesy, and it’s exactly what you all needed.

When the laughter finally dies down, Jenna clears her throat. “Uh, I need to pee.”

You glance at her through the rearview mirror, raising an eyebrow. Internally, you can’t help but think, Really? We’ve only been on the road for an hour. Did she not go before we left?

But you don’t voice the thought. Instead, you nod, spotting a route stop up ahead. “Alright, we’ll pull over.”

As you exit the highway and roll into the rest stop, Hunter claps your shoulder. “Road trips, man. This is what it’s all about.”

You just shake your head, chuckling as you park the SUV.

————

As everyone steps out at the route stop, the golden light of the setting sun casts long shadows over the parking lot. Hunter stretches dramatically, mumbling something about his aching legs, while Aliyah is already darting toward the brightly lit convenience store, proclaiming her hunt for snacks. Jenna heads to the bathroom, and once she returns she lingers by the SUV, her arms folded, her body language closed.

“Need anything?” you ask, hesitating slightly as you approach her.

She shakes her head but doesn’t look at you. “I’m good.”

You nod, biting back the urge to say more, and join Aliyah and Hunter into the store. The shelves are stocked with everything from bags of chips to questionable gas station sushi.

Hunter immediately gravitates toward the candy aisle, gleefully holding up a pack of gummy worms. “You know you want some,” he teases, tossing a pack at Aliyah, who yelps and tries to dodge.

You chuckle at their antics but can’t help glancing back toward the SUV, wondering if Jenna’s still standing there, or if she’s wandered in.

She hasn’t.

Grabbing a couple of bottled drinks and a bag of chips, you head to the register. Aliyah sidles up beside you, arms full of snacks. “Do you think we should get something for Jenna? She barely ate earlier.”

You hesitate, and recall her eating a chocolate the day you both hung out at the mall and then grab that brand of chocolate from a display near the checkout.

Outside, you find Jenna leaning against the side of the car, scrolling through her phone. You hold out the candy as you approach. “Figured you might want this.”

She glances at it, then at you, her lips twitching like she’s suppressing a thank-you. “Thanks,” she says quietly, taking it without meeting your eyes.

There’s a pause. The others are still inside, their laughter faintly audible from the store. For a moment, it’s just you and Jenna in the fading light.

“You okay?” you ask softly, unsure if you’re even expecting an answer.

She finally meets your gaze, her expression guarded but not unkind. “I’m fine,” she replies, but her tone doesn’t match the words.

You want to push, to ask what’s really on her mind, but something about the way she holds herself stops you. Instead, you nod and step back, giving her space.

She seemed fine interacting with you in the group, she was more vocal. But once it was just you two she got all quiet. But she surprised you with her next words.

She finally glances at you properly, her eyes searching yours. “Thanks, by the way. For this. I know you didn’t have to.”

You swallow, suddenly aware of how close she’s standing. “You don’t have to thank me, Jenna. I just… I want to make sure you’re safe—and your sister!”

She nods faintly, looking down at the ground. For a second, it feels like the rest of the world fades away, leaving just the two of you under the flickering lights.

Before the moment can stretch too long, Hunter sticks his head out of the car window. “Yo! Are we road-tripping or setting up camp here? Let’s go!”

Jenna chuckles, the tension breaking as she steps back. “Guess we should get going.”

“Yeah.” You push off the SUV, giving her a small nod. “Let’s hit the road.”

As you both climb back into the car, you can’t help but glance at her through the mirror again. She doesn’t notice this time, and you’re glad she doesn’t.

————

"Hey, Y/n, remember the car I was driving yesterday?" Aliyah asks, her voice breaking the comfortable silence that’s fallen over the SUV.

It’s been about two and a half hours since you hit the road, and everyone is busy with their snacks. Conversations drift in and out, short bursts of chatter punctuated by the rustling of wrappers.

You hum softly, urging her to continue.

Aliyah glances at you in the rearview mirror, her tone casual. “It’s pretty cool that you own that car. My dad used to have the same one, and I remember him always going on and on about how rare it was. Small world, huh?” She shrugs, clearly amused by the coincidence.

You and Jenna freeze. For a moment, no one says anything, and the awkward silence hangs in the air like a weight.

You glance at Jenna through the rearview mirror, and she avoids your gaze. Great, you think. Of all the things to come up right now, this had to be it.

“Well…” you clear your throat, deciding Aliyah deserves to know at this point. “That was your dad’s car.”

Aliyah’s brows furrow in confusion. “What? No, his was black.”

“Yeah,” you admit with an awkward laugh, “and then I wrapped it green.”

The realization dawns on her, and she turns to Jenna, her jaw dropping as she whisper yells, “Oh my God! You like the girl who stole Dad’s car?”

Jenna’s eyes widen, and her face flushes. “Aliyah, shut up!” she snaps, but her tone lacks bite.

Aliyah smirks, clearly reveling in her discovery. “I mean, this is peak comedy. She stole Dad’s car, and you’re just fine with it?”

“I’m not fine with it,” Jenna retorts, but her lips curve slightly as if she’s holding back a smile. “And for the record, it was both of us who stole it.”

Aliyah raises her hands in mock surrender. “Oh, so now you’re an accomplice? Love that for you.”

While they bicker in their private conversation, Jenna’s eyes soften, and her gaze turns nostalgic. “That day was insane,” she murmurs, more to herself than anyone else. “We had no idea what we were doing, but it was... kind of thrilling."

Not knowing what the two girls were talking about, you glance at her in the mirror for the millionth time today. Jenna’s smile, faint and genuine, tugs at something deep in your chest, but before you can dwell on it, Hunter’s voice cuts in.

“Well, look at you,” he says with a laugh, nudging your arm. “Stealing the car of the dad of the girl you like. That’s one for the books, huh?”

“Shut up, Hunter,” you groan, shoving his arm off you.

He just grins wider. “Nah, I’m serious. You’ve really outdone yourself here. Romantic and criminal—who knew you had it in you?”

Rolling your eyes, you lean back into the seat, but an idea suddenly strikes you. "Alright, since we're all in a sharing mood, how about this—Hunter, how exactly do you and Jenna know each other?" Your tone pointed, almost teasing.

Silence.

Not a word, not even the rustle of snack wrappers from the backseat.

Aliyah breaks the tension, her brows knitting as she glances at her sister. "Wait...what? I thought we both met Hunter this morning?"

You glance in the rearview mirror. Jenna’s expression is stone cold, her face unreadable, like she’s mastered the art of giving away nothing. She doesn’t so much as blink, just stares out the window as though the question didn’t even register.

Hunter, on the other hand, looks like he’s sweating bullets. His hand fidgets with the strap of his seatbelt, and he clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh, well… you see…”

Before Hunter can dig himself into an even deeper hole, Jenna suddenly bursts out laughing. The sound is so unexpected, so completely jarring after the tension-filled silence, that your head whips around to look at her.

Her laughter is light and melodic, the kind that shakes her shoulders and makes her eyes crinkle at the corners. For a second, you forget about the chaos in the car and just stare.

Her laugh is kind of… cute, you think, catching yourself and quickly looking back at the road before anyone notices.

Jenna waves a hand, her laughter dying down just enough to speak. “Relax, Hunter. Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Go ahead, tell them.”

Aliyah sighs loudly from the backseat, crossing her arms. “Okay, my patience is wearing thin. Someone better spill before I start throwing snacks.”

"Okay fine, you tell them Jenna, since you think it's so funny," Hunter mumbles defeated, shrinking into his seat.

Jenna glances at Hunter, who is clearly trying to become one with his seatbelt. With a small shrug, she answers casually, “I walked in on Hunter… being intimate.”

You blink, nearly missing your next lane change. “Oh, wow. That’s… embarrassing,” you mutter, trying not to laugh. But then your brain starts piecing things together, and you frown. “Wait a second. How does that even happen? Like… was this in public or something? Did you come to Brimstone, or were you—”

Hunter interrupts, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I was in Summer Valley, okay?”

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. “Oh, okay. Get that bag, I guess. But, man, from the way you were sweating, I thought it was something really bad.”

For a second, you think the tension has finally lifted. But then Hunter lets out a resigned sigh, muttering, “I was with someone from the Viper's crew.”

It all made sense now, why Hunter was so understanding of the idea of you being affiliated with a Viper—why there was two toothbrushes in his bathroom.

He had his own fucking Viper.

“What the fuck?!” you shout, your voice climbing a whole octave as you instinctively swerve the car.

Hunter grabs the oh-shit handle. “Whoa, whoa, focus! You’re driving, not judging!”

“What the fuck Hunter?!” you yell again, steadying the wheel as the SUV veers slightly back into the lane. Thankfully, it’s almost 8 pm, and the highway is relatively empty, so you narrowly avoid disaster. "You're fucking a Viper?! What the actual—"

Hunter throws up his hands defensively. “What’s the big deal?! You are too!”

You slam the brakes—figuratively, of course—your head whipping around to glare at him. “EXCUSE ME?!”

Your face goes red-hot, and you stammer, “I’m not—what—literally who?! I’m not fucking anybody!”

Hunter smirks, sensing your flustered state. “Oh, sure. But you wish you were fucking a Viper.”

If you thought you couldn’t blush any harder, you were wrong. From the backseat, Aliyah is howling with laughter while Jenna buries her face in her hands, her own ears tinged pink.

“You’re delusional,” you snap at Hunter, but your embarrassment only fuels his laughter. “Seriously, who even—"

“Doesn’t matter!” Hunter interrupts, his grin practically splitting his face. “I’m just saying, don’t judge me when you’ve got your own Viper situation brewing back there.”

“Hunter, I swear—”

Aliyah cuts you off, gasping between giggles. “Oh my God, I can’t breathe. This is the best road trip ever!”

Jenna groans softly, pressing a hand to her forehead, but the small, stupid smile tugging at her lips betrays her. She hated being teased, especially by Aliyah, who had the precision of a sniper when it came to embarrassing her. Yet, as the chaos bubbled in the backseat, Jenna found her thoughts wandering to the things Hunter had been saying to poke at you.

What had you two been talking about? Hunter clearly knew something she didn’t, and now, curiosity gnawed at her despite herself. She glanced at you, watching as you muttered under your breath and tightened your grip on the steering wheel like it might save you. It wasn’t just the teasing; something else was making you squirm, and Jenna couldn’t stop the faint curve of her lips from growing into a fuller smile.

She didn’t know what Hunter was hinting at, but the way your ears burned red and your gaze stayed glued to the road… she couldn’t help but find it a little endearing.

————

The freeway stretched ahead in an endless ribbon of asphalt, swallowed by the inky darkness of night. The faint glow of distant city lights barely pierced the dark sky, leaving only the occasional flash of headlights to illuminate the passing road signs and surrounding emptiness. It was quiet now, except for the hum of the tires against the pavement and the faint sound of Aliyah’s soft snores from the backseat. The earlier chaos had subsided, leaving the SUV calm in stillness.

You glanced over at Hunter, slumped against the window with his head bobbing slightly with the movement of the car. He and Aliyah had devoured the candy earlier like children on Halloween and, predictably, crashed hard. For the last thirty minutes, they’d been completely out, and you were silently grateful for the reprieve. Any more teasing, and you were sure your heart would’ve leapt out of your chest.

Your heart was still pounding, though.

You sigh as you wrestled with a thought you’d been avoiding for a while. You never addressed ghosting Jenna. You mentioned to her at the meeting that you’d talk later, but then you didn’t. And now, things between you were stuck in this strange, awkward limbo. You hated it. You hated the distance and the way your banter had evaporated into stilted exchanges.

More than anything, you wanted this trip to be enjoyable for both of you—for her.

“Hey, Jenna you awake?” you said softly, testing the waters. You knew she was awake. Her breathing wasn’t even enough to fool you. You just needed something to break the ice.

“Yeah, what’s up?” she muttered, her voice low to avoid waking her sister.

You hesitated for a moment, your hands flexing nervously against the steering wheel. Then you took a deep breath and decided to do what needed to be done.

“I just… I want to apologize,” you began, keeping your eyes fixed on the road ahead. “For ghosting you. I know it was shitty, and you didn’t deserve it.”

She didn’t respond immediately, but you could feel her eyes on you, listening.

“I… I had a conversation with my mom the first day I didn’t reply to you,” you continued, your voice soft and unsteady. “And it—it messed with my head. I found out my dad wanted out of the Sinners. That completely flipped everything I thought I knew. I was already so confused, and it just made things worse. And then…” You paused, forcing yourself to push through the lump in your throat. “It made me feel terrified. Of everything. Of this whole situation. And of you. Of what you made me feel—what I felt for—”

You clamped your mouth shut, cutting yourself off realizing you spilled too much. Your mind was already coming up with excuses for what you meant by what you made me feel. Heat crawled up your neck, your knuckles stark white against the dim light from the dashboard. You scrambled internally for a way to gloss over your slip-up, but the words weren’t coming.

“I’m not trying to excuse what I did,” you said after a beat. “There’s no excuse for it. I just wanted to explain, to tell you why I acted the way I did. And to say I’m sorry. Really sorry.” 

She's not saying anything. The silence stretched uncomfortably, and you risked a quick glance in her direction, her expression unreadable in the faint glow of the passing headlights.

Panic began to claw at your chest.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” you blurted out, your words rushing now. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know what I did was shitty, and I know I have no right to expect forgiveness—”

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me, Greaser."

Greaser.

You smile.

And that was all she said until Hunter and Aliyah awoken from their slumber twenty minutes later. But it was enough.

————

"Damn, how long was I out?" Hunter grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as he shifted in his seat.

Aliyah stretched with an exaggerated groan, yawning as if she'd been asleep for days.

"Only about forty minutes," you replied, glancing at them. The weight in your chest felt lighter after your moment with Jenna, but a part of you braced for the teasing chaos that might erupt now that they were awake.

Aliyah groaned dramatically. "Ugh, I was hoping the driving part would be over when I woke up. Are we seriously just gonna spend days cooped up in this car?"

"We’ve only been driving for like three hours," Hunter pointed out with a shrug.

"And that’s not far enough?" Aliyah raised a brow.

Hunter nodded, turning his gaze to you. "She’s got a point, you know."

"...I have a suggestion." Aliyah finally says.

"Shoot," you encourage her.

She leaned forward slightly, a mischievous grin spreading across her face as she looked at Jenna. "How about we visit Markus? We’re probably close to him already."

Jenna’s face lit up instantly, her smile matching her sister’s excitement. "That would be amazing, Ali, but… are we really gonna risk leading trouble straight to him?"

Aliyah waved the concern off with a dismissive hand. "Come on, you really think those bad guys are gonna follow us all the way to LA?"

While the sisters debated, you leaned toward Hunter, lowering your voice. "Who the fuck is Markus?"

Hunter smirked, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "What’s the matter? You jealous?"

"What? No!" you snapped, scoffing like the idea was ridiculous. But your mind betrayed you, lingering on Jenna’s radiant smile. Who was this guy, and why did she look so happy talking about him?

The sisters’ conversation quieten down, and Aliyah finally addresses you, her grin still firmly in place. "Y/n, how does a trip to UCLA sound?"

next chapter

Taglist: @godamnityess @machyishere @freakshow2501 @nwestra @mcchicken88

@101rizzlrr @snowdrop1026 @ilovesneezing069 @btay3115 @burntoutghost

@cobaltperun

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXVII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Firearms/injuries mentioned.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX, Part XXI, Part XXII, Part XXIII, Part XXIV, Part XXV, Part XXVI

----------------------

You closed the shoji door rather roughly and walked away in a bothered, quick pace only stopping when your shoes reached grass.

Despite how insulting the whole meeting with the Zen’in elders had been, was leaving like this the wisest choice?

Probably not, but you could not care less at that moment.

“You look displeased,” the voice of Naoya, accompanied by his unhurried steps through the wooden floor of the engawa, called behind you.

You did not turn around. “And you sound a bit too pleased with yourself.”

“Would it be a crime if I were?”

What Naoya really wondered was would Gojo Satoru be bothered enough to come after them for upsetting you?

He was no fool; he never believed you would accept an invitation into his family. He did not consider you worthy of it either, but the elders had insisted on trying to buy you. A means to an end, they had said.

The whole set up was meant to secure them an opportunity to negotiate with Gojo. His protégé for his lover.

It’s a stupid plan if you ask me, Naoya thought.

He had certain respect for Gojo’s power, for he was the type of man who could and would dirty his hands if it had meaning, if it meant keeping everything. But the elders’ hope was that, just like a few years ago, Gojo Satoru had been civil enough to, as peacefully as possible, arrange the custody of Toji’s son, he would again, trade that same child for your freedom.

“Is that the point of this? To get a reaction out of me?” Naoya heard you ask in a frustrated tone. But you knew it was not that.

They had offered you an obscene fortune and what might have been considered a shortcut to success for your career as a sorcerer, besides a few other ‘benefits’ that would ‘put your family on the map’ of the jujutsu world and pull them out of ‘their inferior condition’.

As if I wanted that… As if we needed their condescendence.

You had been firm when rejecting them, and the air had turned ominous back there when you had left clear you had no intention of entertaining such proposal further.

“Don’t flatter yourself. My siblings have bad taste in partners that’s all.” Naoya was now standing next to you. He gestured ahead. “Shall we?”

Even if they had an ulterior motive, as long as they let you leave, you had no intention of staying there any longer either.

“I can see myself out,” you responded, slightly surprised that Naoya had not started walking ahead of you as he usually did.

His smile was unreadable. “Let me walk you out one last time.”

***

The night had started easy enough. A civilian with a bit of a gift, or rather a bit of a curse, had spotted something weird in an area where a missing child had been reported not long ago, and next thing you knew, an assistant with a freshly opened file was briefing you through the details of your next mission.

“The students we sent last week did not find anything; they exorcised a grade three, and said something about some residual cursed energy around the entrance to the station, but nothing that should be a problem for the average person,” Nitta pointed out while she drove you to the area.

“Why is that section of the station closed?” you asked from the backseat.

Knowing why a curse might appear and stick somewhere was not always necessary, but it would help you form an idea of what you could find.

Nitta kept her eyes on the road and recited form memory. “It was closed for reparations, but no incidents had been reported until three weeks ago, when…”

When three high school boys trespassed and went into the closured section for some sort of dare, and only two of them came out.

You nodded and looked outside.

A first or a special grade would have killed them all for sure.

You had certainly learned to not underestimate curses, regardless of their grade, but after all those pit stops at Shoko’s office, it was refreshing to be assigned a mission that would not be too challenging.

***

Or that is what you thought.

Maybe you were just out of it lately. Why else would you be tired and sore after what had been a rather easy fight?

“My students would have been able to handle it,” you mumbled for your self as you climbed the stairs to your apartment.

Perhaps you were distracted, trying too hard to not make mistakes that you ended up making more.

You had not detected the second curse on time to dodge a hit. It was not fatal, and you would not bother Shoko for a little scratch at this ungodly hour of the night.

As you reached your floor, you searched your pocket for your keys.

Huh.

You palmed the other one.

No.

But you had put the keys in your pocket before leaving for the mission, had you not?

You halted before walking down the hall to your door. Had you dropped them somewhere?

What should you do now? Climb to your window outside and try to open it? Force the door? Lord, you had not picked a lock since you and Gojo were teenagers…

That’s right… Gojo.

He still had your spare key, assuming he had not decided to hate you and thrown it away into the sea.

You walked down the hall slowly, your thumb hovering over his name in your contacts, almost forcing yourself to finally call him for help.

Screw it. Just call him.

You tapped the phone icon.

Ring and ring but no answer.

Is he ignoring me? No... Be rational. He's probably busy with something else, or asleep, as a normal person would be.

Why did this have to happen at this time?

You stood in front of your door and left a voicemail for Satoru. Hopefully, he would hear it and come over when he had a chance.

On the other hand, if he would not hear it until next morning, maybe trying to pick the lock would be faster.

You were accepting that idea when you pushed the door gently, and to your surprise, it swung open.

Oh.

Had you not closed it properly before leaving?

No, that can’t be.

You had clear recollection of your hand turning the key in the lock to ensure it was closed before leaving.

A burglar? That was possibility.

Your instincts were telling you to not go in, but as we all know, sometimes the body does not listen to the mind before moving.

It was dark.

There had been very few times that Satoru would get into your apartment if you were not there. He was like that stray cat you sometimes fed, that for some reason enjoyed watching your life through your window and would sometimes just cautiously sit inside and wait for you to come home.

But Satoru usually turned the lights on.

As you stepped into your space, staying in the illuminated patch provided by the light that came from the hallway, something felt amiss.

You flipped the switch that lighted the entryway and slowly walked through the narrow hall that divided your living room and your kitchen.

The movement in your kitchen caught your eyes and you quickly moved to turn on the next set of lights, relaxing slightly when a familiar gray cat stared back at you with big yellow eyes.

“It’s you…” you looked at it, and the cat’s pupils seemed to widen, focusing on a spot in your living room.

You heard a click and turned to meet a pair of eyes you had never seen before. He was standing some feet away from you, still partially in the darkness in the living room, but now that your eyes could see him, you could tell, or rather feel, he was a sorcerer. Why had you not perceived him before?

“Who..?” you started asking when your eyes lowered to the handgun in his right hand that was aiming at you.

“It’s not personal,” he said and fired.

----------------------

Note: I'm still not over the manga...

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XXVIII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke

[alicenpai]

hi! ive been a big fan of your work for a while now, and i was just wondering if you have any tips or anything for selling merch online? :>

hi anon! so you want to be a con artist huh 👁👁 ...

^ a real con artist..

i’m not sure if you wanted online specific tips or general merch tips, but i compiled a bit of both! (also not sure if you're a beginner to art in general, there's a difference between a more experienced artist doing merch for the first time + beginner artists trying merch for the first time bc the risks involved are different)

i wrote more on the subject but i cut some out because it seemed too long.. and i tend to ramble ^__T it's hard to answer questions like these because they're so generalized, but if you had any more specific questions feel free to send another ask!

^ random image for visual interest

general tips for beginners(?)

merch can be fun, and it is! but in the end always remind yourself you're running a business, and it's real money you're going to be spending. it's good to take risks (on things like, new product types if you think your art is ready for it, or less popular series/more experimental designs, etc.) as you learn a lot from them, but always think over financial decisions carefully at the same time.

what helped me grow a lot as both a merch artist (and as a general artist) over 10 years is - a lot of reflection. and i mean a LOT of it. in terms of art in general i don't personally do a lot of studies (which is probably my downfall and i need to get back to it) but i think im pretty observant and introspective which helps me improve a lot. i often write my silly little blog posts on tumblr, I'll write notes on my phone if i have a train of thought i need to get down quickly.

i also often discuss merch things with friends and it really helps to get varying perspectives. (though i admit i should really share wips more, i used to but not as much anymore. blame the working life haha, not as many people have time to discuss non-work art anymore ;_;). all of these things keep me on my toes and weigh my strengths and weaknesses. if anyone is interested i could write more on the specific topics i reflect on after every con/shop opening.

stick to the tried and true 5-10 copies per design for beginners! this range sounds too little, but don't forget the big picture as well... you'll likely also have multiple different designs, across different product types.

e.g. 5 copies x 4 characters/designs, and let's say you do this for every product type (e.g. postcards, stickers, charms), 5 x 4 x 3 = 60 individual pieces of merch. that's a pretty solid number for a first timer!

i also personally print 5-10 copies of designs im doing for a test print run, or for characters that don't seem particularly popular.

15 is the average amount for me for a short run product (1 con season)

i certainly reprint often + go higher sometimes if i dont mind the product being in my catalogue for years.

15 is not too many in case the design is unpopular and doesn't sell, and it's also not too little that it won't be enough sales to break even.

promo images & taking photos (online specific)

i'm not a professional photographer and these photos might be absolute ass to some people. i will accept that, and honestly id agree with you. this is just my advice for straightforward, simple photos.

good quality and clear photos are best. it's great fun to use props in photos, and they can certainly turn your photos from plain to impressive. but it's easy to get carried away with props and fancy scrapbook paper imo, and i prefer to let the artwork speak for itself. honestly keeping it simple can be the best option sometimes. i used to take a lot more photos back in 2022 when i had less new products, but nowadays i find that i have too many products to take photos of, so i prefer to just keep my photos simple with a white piece of paper as my backdrop. i just. shrimply cannot be bothered taking out all of the props anymore...

above: the backdrop in this photo is bad, it's distracting and takes away from the artwork. (fe charms from 2016)

this are photos taken on a sunny day.

if you don't have a good phone camera (mine is ~5 years old), ive found that taking photos on a sunny day, either inside or outside, work great for me, as it shows off the natural colour of your product best. i either take it to the garden or i like to find a patch of sunlight filtering through the window. be wary of glare or too much light reflecting on your merch in photos though, because it can be distracting and take away from visibility on the product. but i can understand if a bit of glare ends up on one's finalized merch photos.

this is an example of utilizing light at a certain angle to show off the holographic film on this charm.

sunny photo vs cloudy photo.

taking photos inside on a cloudy day during daylight hours is also a popular option, especially if you live in an area where there isn't much direct sunlight/cloudy season, but for me personally i find cloudy day photos come out a bit dull and do take a bit of colour correcting. all of my cloudy day photos are tweaked and i find the colours to be a bit off from the original products, but that's just how it is with taking photos i guess.

because i don't have a great phone camera, my personal alternative is to make graphics! i just think of it as a collage to use fun textures and PNGs! im obviously not a professional, and these probably look very bad in a professional's eye. but i think it's fun. i like to incorporate the aesthetic or visual style of the series into the graphic if i do make em. ^_^

store platform

each one has their pros and cons. many store platforms have trial periods/free plans for people to try out.

bigcartel is what i use and i'm familiar with, and i would honestly recommend it. (i'm too lazy to move or try another platform right now...) for big store openings ill pay for a month or two of the basic $15 plan. ill use the free gold plan on bigcartel if im only planning to open my store for a limited time and don't want to commit to a full monthly plan.

storenvy: i've used storenvy from about 2014-16. i moved from storenvy for issues such as charging customers fees for purchasing from storenvy's marketplace page (and not from your actual personalized storefront) and urging me to use stripe even though it wasn't supported in canada at that time. im not sure if theyve fixed these issues but they were pervasive issues at the time that honestly forced me to quit. it also has a kind of outdated UI (e.g. can't zoom into pics on mobile?).

i think storenvy is a very easy to use platform for beginners because it's very basic! but i wouldn't recommend it if you have a great number of products, or if you're looking for more advanced features.

tictail isn't available anymore, i couldn't recommend it for that reason. i used it from around 2016-18.

i don't have any experience on shopify or etsy. shopify i heard is great because of all of the neat features you can implement, which you can use to really make your store yours. etsy has a huge marketplace which helps discoverability, but i have also heard there are many fees, so a lot of artists unfortunately make their prices a bit higher on etsy.

ecwid is also one that i've heard pop up. some also host shops on weebly or squarespace.

shipping

if you don't already have a kitchen scale, it's a good idea to get one if you think you'll be using it a lot to weigh packages! a postage scale is probably better. i just have a kitchen scale because it's cheap. as long as the measurements are precise (don't use a bathroom scale with a dial like me when i started out lmao).

thermal labels are also a good investment if you think youll need em!! i actually don't personally use them, because i have way too much hand-me-down stacks of paper in my home, so i don't see the need to make an extra investment. the downside to printing shipping labels on paper is taking the time to cut and stick them on packages.

i'm from canada (surprising the amount of people who think im from the US T__T) so these tips will be canadian specific, but you can hopefully get the gist.

when i was starting out, i used canada post (usps is the american equivalent) to send out store orders. however shipping labels from your govt post office can be pricey. which is why it's a good option to join their small business program if they have one, where you'll receive discounts on shipping labels. i don't use canada post shipping anymore, but i will use them for countries that my shipping agent doesn't ship to.

also take advantage of their free shipping tuesdays for domestic packages in october!! i believe you can receive 2 free labels per tuesday, up to 4 or 5 tuesdays for the entire month = 8-10 free labels in october.

next step is shipping agents!! if you live close to a chitchats or stallion express facility, they're great, and they usually provide tracking on shipping by default. in my opinion, tracking on orders is a MUST, so customers can have peace of mind! (minus like sticker-only shipping because that could be sent with postage stamps)

they also do home pickup if you have a bunch of packages in bulk/can't get to a facility. i believe americans have pirate ship.

you print and stick on your shipping labels at home, then you just travel to the shipping facility and throw your packages in the right bins (e.g. domestic, US, international). that's it! easy as pie!

i personally use chitchats because that is closer to me. i had heard stallion provides better rates for international shipping, which i'll have to look at at a later date.

most of my orders come from the US and canada. (funnily enough it is unfortunately cheaper to send packages from canada to USA, than it is for me to send packages within canada.) international orders are a bit of a pain, and you will need to know tariff codes for your product types (e.g. prints have a diff code than buttons) while writing the customs form. people in some countries will get taxed on all imported packages (e.g. packages marked as "sold goods" and not "gifts"). an alternative to this is to use etsy, so that customers can pre-pay for the tariffs before the order is processed. this is something i'll also look into for the future.

posting

wow now you're now done organizing your shop and promo images and you're ready to post! a good strategy is to post across multiple platforms to see what sticks. it takes effort and time but it can have a solid turnout! (i forget sometimes, don't be like me)

i don't know if this is true, but a lot of keywords words such as "shop", "store", "link" and etc. are apparently suppressed on social media (particularly twitter). don't take my word for it however.

shop posts don't generally do as well as regular art posts for most artists. but disregarding censored words for a second, it can also be attributed to psychological reasons, generally people don't like to be advertised to. (e.g. tumblr doesn't have an algorithm and shop posts usually dont do as well here either. tumblr users are just not receptive to clicking on links apparently).

personally, writing alternate terms like "sh0p" just isn't for me, but no shade though, bc i do understand workarounds are hard and everyone needs to make a living somehow. ill instead use words like, "leftovers are in" or "new items are up!" something more vague, but with the accompaniment of merch images, will still be clear to people that it's a shop update.

sharing your shop promo posts in artist alley discord servers also help a lot, especially if you don't know too many artists when starting out. they're a great resource and community full of passionate individuals who will boost your art. if you're not familiar with them, you can find some public ones on google or maybe even artist communities on reddit. a big one is Artist Alley Network International.

if there are some topics you think i've missed, feel free to send em over to my inbox!! ill also think more about this in the coming days and edit this post as i see fit 🫡

[queer-and-bloating]

hiii i have a potentially weird question but you seem like a good person to ask!

i have never found good info on if fat actually affects t dosage, ive heard it does and it makes me worry that the effects will be slower or i might need to have a higher dose than usual (currently on 70mg and seeing changes but it is slow) but then also heard it doesn't matter and it just depends on the person

im also ftm and fat btw which is why im asking

so i was wondering what your dosage is and if it's higher than average at all? and maybe if u know anyone else on t who's fat and how that affected dosage if at all (if you're comfortable saying!)

also ur so attractive asdgfshsfhadghadgg

I really appreciate you asking! Personally, I haven't seen much of a difference and believe it's more subject to change based on your individual hormone balance, as opposed to your fat percentage.

I can only speak for my own experience (on T for 7 years in October). I've been on .35ml which from what I understand is a lower dose but my levels have been normal! Here's my timeline

Bottom growth: immediate. Day of/day after the shot.

Voice drop: 4-5 months

Facial hair: 5-6 months to start, 7 years later still coming in more

Weight distribution:???

Menses stopped: 1 month

I'm sorry I don't have an answer to the question, but hopefully any friends of mine who have more insight can comment on this post!

And thank you so much 😭😭😭

[mueritos]

Hey Matteo!

I was just wondering like how your overall experience with Boston has been?

I'm a transmasc butch, from a small town, and have been questioning moving to that area (either around Boston or closer to Salem) and I'm autistic and Deaf (very little amount of my hearing left) so I try to do as much research as I can before solidifying ideas.. but I've also desperately been wanting out of my hometown and Midwest State.

I'm especially interested in any Queer friendly experiences you've had and/or museums as I am an anthropology major (Archaeology focus)

hey there! I'll insert a read more :)

It's good you're researching the area ^-^ like any city, there's pros and cons, and like any other major city, if you're looking for something, it is likely here already. Biggest cons to me in this city are 1. expensive as fuck (rent can be anywhere between 1200-2000+ per bed/room), transportation is mid (trains are cool but systemic racism has made it difficult to access certain neighborhoods), and the weather (i'm used to it because it's like a slightly colder PA). Oh, and I truly believe there is no good food in Boston. You have to LEAVE Boston to eat good food lol.

Pros! I do think the city is mostly autistic friendly, surprisingly. Sure a city on average is louder, but there are plenty of quieter places to live and you don't really see/hear people out late at night, unless you're living by universities. As for my daily experience, there's all kinds of queer events to go to in the area, including support groups (Boston Area Trans Support Group BATS) and university hosted events that are open to the public. From what I hear, there's not much of a huge art scene, but the MFA is quite active in the Fenway area and you can always find ways to be involved by contacting universities as well. There's a science museum I've been meaning to go to, but I did go to the aquarium and that was like soo awesome. You can search on r/boston as well for any specific experiences or museum/anthropology stuff. I have a friend rn who collects shells and maybe he would have some direct connections, so I will ask him ^-^

For the most part, people in Boston are very queer friendly. I don't know a single homophobic person haha, but I know of people who are TERF adjacent. RACISM and transphobia is probably one of the biggest things here. The city is very segregated and like I mentioned above, it can be difficult accessing certain parts of the city (mainly BIPOC parts) without a car (45-1 hour + on the train/bus vs a 15-30 min drive). I experience a lot of the usual city experiences, people asking for money or asking you for directions, but if you're kind then you won't have an issue. People freak out like its the NYC here when a homeless person walks up to them, but the best advice is try to carry cash, and if you can't give, just say "god bless you I hope you take care".

Anyway, there are several Deaf community events that I know are mainly hosted through Northeastern University. They have deaf interpreter program and they have events open to the public as well. If you want a deaf/hoh community, i think they're your best first step. Their site also has some state resources.

Also a lesbian bar just opened up! Dani's was cute and fun, went with friends once and while the drinks were expensive, the vibe was nice. Saw lots of awesome lesbians and t boys and transmascs all around. While queer spaces will be primarily white, there are BIPOC spaces if you're looking for that too.

this was all over the place but i think this is all I have to say. if anyone else is currently living in Boston or the Salem area and wants to share their thoughts, pls do! ive only been here for about 2 years and I plan to leave soon, so I won't know what its like past the summer.

Good luck!

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 15

Wait, what? She was totally fine at the end of the last episode

Ah, it's so he can be the hero and carry her to safety. Where did this crowd come from, though? The amusement park was deserted when they got on the ferris wheel

Of course he took her to his place instead of the hospital. Not sure where the IV came from though.

Aww it's a reversal of the time he was passed out in her brother's bed and grabbed hold of her hand

Good old drama medicine. One IV and some sleep and you're totally fine the next day

See! She's asking the same questions as me. This is why I love her.

Oh well that explains the IV

Is he seriously going to suggest that to thank him for 'saving her life' she should let him be in her movie?

Wait, they didn't immediately claim their prize money???

Look at him sitting in his car rehearsing what to say like a nerd (affectionate)

How does an only child who has no kids of his own know so much about how to take care of a baby, but Im Sol who has multiple neices and nephews has no clue?

Ehehe! That's what you get for being so smug about your childcare abilities

Oh hello

Aww and this is like the time he made her hide in his closet. Everything is in reverse in this timeline.

I feel like I recognise those posters behind him but not sure what they are

Oh sweetie...

You know, 15 episodes in and he still really looks like someone I know but I can't put my finger on who. I think maybe it's an amalgam of a few different idols. Like a bit of Jin and a bit of Taemin

I love that the two of them are literally idols and Inhyuk is like 'remember that super hot and popular boy we went to school with'

Ooh he's having flashbacks again. I'm curious which version of events he's remembering. Because she travelled back 3 times and changed different things each time before the 4th time where she made it so that they never met

I mean I have no idea how much houses cost in Korea but even if you blow it all on a house you still have your incomes and no mortgage or rent to pay

LMAO the reason they got such a low prize (it's just over £200k for me) is because he got drunk and told everyone in line the numbers so 50 people won the jackpot

Dude as been begging to do this movie for ages and as soon as he signs on he immediately wants to change the ending. Like I know we, as the audience, understand why. But to anyone else this just makes him look like a diva

Oh no it's sad Jongho song time

Poor Im Sol. Two confessions in one day. One from a person she can't be with, and one from a person she doesn't want to be with

Ooh is he starting to remember the previous timelines too?

Okay, I love this idea. I'm getting all emotional.

Aww he wrote the song about her again even though he doesn't have the experience of meeting her in the rain. Because his memories are part of his soul.

6 years for attempted murder seems very low. Now I'm looking up the average sentence time for attempted murder and I'm probably on some sort of watch list now. Obv I don't know what it's like in Korea but in the UK you would only get 6 years if it was something like self-defence

Well that was very dramatic. I was so invested in what was happening I forgot to pause and liveblog

Ah, he does remember everything. All versions of events. Well, no wonder he fainted. That's a lot to take in.

[eldritchmochi]

hey, what symptoms is masculinizing hrt supposed to treat for eds exactly if you don't mind? saw your ask about dwarfism that mentioned it. ive got heds and im kinda desperate for potential treatment options, wondering if this is smth i should look into?

SO: this is all anecdotal, it is not necessarily a great global treatment for many many reasons but if youre an afab edser and already considering hrt, things i and others have noticed T helping with are:

joint pain/subluxations: higher levels of t seem to help because thats the hormone that helps you build and maintain muscle, and muscle when u have shitty connective tissue helps protect and stabilize your joints, so they hurt less because they flop around less (this may also be why eds is more commonly seen in afab folks, as amab folks especially cis men have more muscle from the get go, so they often have less issues)

chronic pain in general: my theory is that, since i have fewer subluxations, im generally a smidge less globally inflamed, so generally a smidge less pain (very subjective tho, and also i started taking regular nsaids a few months into t, so ymmv)

less fatigue, particularly after physical activity: i have no theories on why for this one (and its also pretty subjective, especially cos fatigue can be related to so many things when youre multiply disabled, like many edsers are)

less cold/dizzy, presumably from better circulation: t can increase your blood volume iirc, as well as give you bigger veins and whathaveyou

easier blood draws: again, bigger veins, easier to hit with a needle. ymmv still based on hydration etc, and mine are still bouncy and tend to roll, but more often than not if i am well hydrated most phlebotomists can get me in one stick, compared to even experienced phlebotomists needing to dig around at best

and then a small handful of other benefits ive noticed relating to collagen, like i have fewer random scrapes and bruises, presumably because my skin is a little thicker now and thus a little more resistant to damage, plus my nails and hair are less likely to break (tho idk how much of that is related to eds as a whole and how much is just my family)

i am currently doing .2ml subq injections every 7-10 days and noticed substantially more positive effect when i was at a weekly .3ml subq dose, however i ran so hot that i turned into Shorts In Winter Guy, and i hated it especially since i circled around to being so sweaty i was sick from it, so i backed off a lot. during the 18ish months i was on a .3ml dose tho, i think i had <10 subluxations the entire span, compared to >10 on average in any given week for years prior. on .2ml im experiencing significantly more subluxations, but still <10 a month, and theyre less impactful (often its waking up with one ankle not quite in place, which settles after a few minutes of movement)

of note though, my experiences are as someone who was significantly impacted by heds starting at age 14-15, and im 33 now, whereas i have a friend on a much lower dose of t (not sure the amount, but theyre doing gel) with great effect still, as someone of comparable age but who was less impacted until relatively recently due to spending their youth and early 20s physically active in a variety of ways i did Not lmao

ive seen several other transmasc edsers discuss anecdotally the benefits theyve seen from being on T, and the geneticist i saw when i was finally dx'd earlier this year mentioned her familiarity with the same benefits learned thru patients, so its a thing some doctors ARE aware of, there just havent been many, if any, formal studies (because of course not (: ). if you were already kicking around hrt for The Genders, absolutely recommend going for it. if you have The Genders and maybe havent considered T before, i think its definitely worth researching and pondering. not sure i would really recommend it to someone who was cis, but there are ways to mitigate a number of masculine secondary sex characteristics spawned from T so i dont think its off the table for everyone, you would just need to find a very clever experienced doctor for it

also of note is i experienced benefits VERY quickly, within 6-8 weeks of a .25ml/week dose, and in that span most of the effects of t are not permanent or otherwise fairly negligible, so there isnt a ton of risk imo to test it to see if its worth it for you. just be aware that, because of the collagen thing and the way vocal cords work, your voice WILL drop and it will drop IMMEDIATELY (however, even if your voice drops a ton, you can still sound fully passibly feminine with a little practice and knowledge)

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[goattypegirl]

Hokay so I have reached the final boss of the dlc, I think. I say reached because I have not yet beaten it; I got to phase 2 once. This is going to be a doozy I can already tell. Super spoilers below.

First, the fight technically. First phase is like a schmixed Radahn; muscle memory is kind of helping but it might be placebo. It's probably placebo. Phase 2 reminds me of the twin princes, I can't say more than that because I got got approximately 2.3 seconds into phase 2. I think some people are going to be mad about the twin princes similarities, but I like how Fromsoft tends to iterate on ideas from previous games. I don't mean like overt stuff like patches or the moonlight greatsword, but like the guardian ape and the bloodletting beast, the lamenter and pinwheel, or leda and crew and gideon. Assuming I get to phase two sometime this calendar year, it'll be cool to see how they've built on the twin princes concept.

Story and lore wise, like I said in my other post, I knew the dlc was going to fill gaps but boy howdy I was not expecting them to be filled this way. So grain of salt, I'm not actually done with the damn game yet. My initial reaction was confusion, and I'll need to sit on it more, but I like it.

From what Ive gathered, ascending to godhood apparently requires a consort, a Warrior to the Thinker, the Red King to the White Queen, and so Miquella did something to Mohg's body to make it a suitable vessel for Radhan. (Maybe it's cause I'm a freak but I think it would have been cool to see that process. Who knows, maybe there's a cutscene into phase 3 where the body deteriorates back into Mohg.) Radahn 2 has a move where he casts bloodflame, and you can see horns peaking out of his cuffs and boots. Actually, whenever I've died he's spun around to face away from the camera. I wonder if that's intentional? In universe it's Radhan hiding his face because he knows something's wrong, out of universe the devs wanted you to notice the horns.

I know people are wondering why it isn't Malenia or Godwyn, and I think I can come up with some in and out of universe reasons why.

For in universe reasons why Godwyn isn't the final boss, maybe the night of the black knives killed his soul so badly it was unable to be retrieved, or because his body couldn't be killed. Maybe that's what castle sol and the eclipse thing was for, if it worked and Godwyn died a true death, he could be used as Miquella's consort. Honestly I didn't expect the dlc to feature Godwyn at all, the whole 'oh the scadutree is being choked by deathblight' thing felt like a reach, but there's something going on with Godwyn here. Don't think I didn't notice the two death knight fights have the Stormveil face in the back of the arena, or that their weapons reference a "surrogate corpse."

Out of universe Godwyn, the only thing I can think of is that Godwyns simultaneously an obscure character but also relevant to two game-spanning, ending-determining questlines, fia's and ranni's. Radhan meanwhile is a shardbearer in an area right next to the starting area. If you asked the average player who didnt really talk to NPCs or read item descriptions, they'll probably recognize Radhan and not Godwyn.

For in universe reasons why Malenia wasn't the final boss, it depends on how you view Miquella's character, but I think it's because he knew making a consort would require killing his sister, and he didn't want to do that. That's just my hunch right now working on incomplete information, and you could probably come up with a lot more uncharitable reasons why he didn't pick Malenia. (Side note. If Radhan was chosen as his consort early on, and therefore needed to die, thats yet another potential reason why Malenia battled Radhan.)

Out of universe, the devs probably didn't want to lock the dlc behind the base game's super boss, and they were probably wary of making Miquella's consort his literal twin sister.

The dlc recontextualizes a lot of stuff especially about Miquella's character, and I'll need more time to think on it, but I think if Miquella could have ever been called a "good guy", it was long before the events of the story. He probably had good intentions going in, but the dlc as a whole is showing how power necessitates corruption and compromise. One literally cannot become a god until you discard more and more of yourself, your doubts, your fears, and your love. The Miquella at the end of the game wouldn't have had qualms over killing his sister.

Something worth examining is that Miquella's an Empyrean. We still don't really know what that means* besides that they're candidates chosen by the Greater Will to replace Marika. And like. Isn't that what Miquella is doing? Like was the transition from Marika to Miquella supposed to require such chaos and bloodshed? Is Miquella following along the Greater Will's plan? Mohg's body had to be modified into something unrecognizable in order to be a proper host, a proper puppet. Is Miquella doing the same? If so, what exactly makes him any different than Marika?

*the watchful spirit item description vexes me. I think about it every night. What the hell do you mean Empyrean grandam.

As a final, very petty note. The 'Miquella is pure evil, he's literally Griffith!' and heccin wholesome chungus gigachad Radhan bros are going to be fucking insufferable.

[hermanunworthy]

haiiiii... you asked for hermie asks so erm. what do you think hermie was like in chaparral (is that how its spelled?)

i imagine that as herman he was a regular good student- kind of uninteresting, not exactly memorable. almost forgettable.. chaparral feels like the more well funded, a bit more prestigious (like they get high grades or smth) but still a bit dull... this is purely to contrast with hemie's theatre kidness. yknow. But idr if it was portrayed differently (and i dont know how american highschools work) so uh what do you think!

hiya i was gonna respond to this last night but i ended up getting a massive headache so i had to go to bed early 😞

this is a REALLY interesting thing to think about, and something ive been trying to figure out! i think my idea of chaparral hermie/herman mostly aligns w urs. i imagine they really tried hard to blend in while also internally feeling a desperate need to stand out. their inclination for mischief probably manifested itself in more subtle, trivial ways, like cheating on tests and sneaking into classrooms and such. little things that wouldnt get them found out by their parents (bc they probably did before and it screwed things up for herman), but could still give them that satisfaction of doing something they werent supposed to. as a kid, i think they were more of a troublemaker, and probably didnt get along w other kids, bc they liked to pull childish pranks and maybe be a little rude due to low empathy (and ofc their scamminess and demonness agkdf). this probably concerned their parents greatly, and led them to be more strict w them, and for herman to conform more (aka just become more secretive. u know how kids are)

the way i imagine their physical appearance is like.... very normal and dull. black hair like their parents, shorter than they wouldve liked, no makeup, a manageable amount of acne to make them look like a regular kid, but not enough to seem gross. sucky bond levels of Average High School Kid, as much as they wanted to stand out. they tried to look as much like their parents kid as possible, even though it wasnt what they really wanted.

when they discovered their love for dc, they felt embarrassed about it and hid it from their peers and their parents, afraid that if they knew how intense and weird their interest was, they would have it taken away from them (BIGGG projecting here guys). they stole comics from the school library and hid them in their backpack. they wanted all kinds of dc merch and to go to comic con soooo bad but they kept it all to themself to the point of wanting to explode. their special interest was one thing nobody found out about, thankfully. amazingly

now. in terms of the mascot costume prank. what im really wondering is.... how much was the rest of the school on board w it? if it wasnt something herman did for the school itself, how was normal aware that it was something being planned? maybe... im thinking.... herman was like.. anonymously antagonizing the school and creating conflict between the two schools for shits and giggles. in my mind, herman was jealous of how san dimas students got to be so openly WEIRD and became.. a little obsessed w that school. ofc as soon as they saw that the school was doing joker as its play that year, their dc autism brain activated and they made their plan to infiltrate the school. doing tons of research on it, especially on the theatre department anddd the mascot!! bc they heard that normally oak swallows garcia was the WEIRDEST OF ALL. so this was not only a fun scam thing but a weird jealousy thing to get back at this kid they didnt even know for getting to be what they were never allowed to be. san dimas/teen high gave them a chance to be the person they had been born to be, and i think thats wonderful <3 (even though it led them to horrible danger and also to break a poor undeserving kids heart)

so! this ended up being more than i thought i had to say. but isnt that always how it is w me and hermie.... tldr i think chaparral herman had to mask a lot and hated it. thanks for letting me ramble gskdj !!

[khodorkovskaya]

05.09.23

okay so... deep breath...

im barely hanging on you guys. like. i am under so much stress.

so basically i had two exams to retake: probability and functional analysis. and it's the only ones i have left to complete my degree. but, here's the fun little twist! if i don't pass im out! i only have one chance to pass them. and if i don't, thats 4 years of studying down the drain. fun fun fun!!!!!

so the first exam was on the 28th and it was really hard. i studied a lot, made flashcards and everything. and it was like impossibly hard. the thing is, this was a yearly class, so the overall grade is the average of two semesters. i got a 4.5 for the 2nd semester, so i only need 3.25 to pass the year. but the exam was so hard idek if i got 3.25... the prof said that if we only fill out the theory questions, that's a 4. the theory questions counted up to 8 points, so like if i get 8 points overall, that's a pass. but guys... im so scared...

so ive been freaking out a lot. and taking anxiety meds. and when i think about this exam i feel this FEAR in all caps. like. it's so bad. i can't sleep, i can't do anything, my skin is breaking out, it's hell.

then the second exam was on the 4th, so yesterday. and i was this close to losing it like the pressure was too much to handle. i burst out crying right before the exam but i managed to calm down. and tbh i think i'll pass this one. it was also quite difficult but i think i did okay. but still. the FEAR...

like i can't even describe it to you guys. i don't know if i'll even be able to have the courage to open my grades when they arrive. like i went on the university portal yesterday and my hands started shaking and i like had to crouch down bc my whole body became so weak i couldn't stand. it was terrifying.

so yeah... im really not having a good time right now.

in other news, okay, so i wanted to find a video in my whatsapp messages. so i went to "media" and started scrolling and i stumbled upon some things B and i had sent to each other back in the day. and i saw his new profile picture and.... he's in budva.

and okay first of all call me fucking geoguesser. bc the picture is just a selfie of him standing in front of a mountain. and i knew it was budva just from the shape of the mountain alone. and his head in blocking most of the mountain too but i still knew that it was budva right away.

then out of curiosity i checked his telegram profile picture and it's him in the old town sitting on a boulder like the thinker. again, i knew it was budva right away lol. and it's funny bc i saw that he deleted all of our telegram messages. all of them! i wonder when he did it. and why.

and also it hurt bc budva is MINE. like when lucien went to budva i was super jealous. but like whatever, it's a touristy destination, it doesn't matter. but it's strange that B went there. i mean we have so many memories there together. it's like if i went to sarajevo all of a sudden. and i wonder who he went with. his friend from belgrade? his new gonzesse lol? anyway, yeah.

another weird thing is that okay my zurich friend was in town and he asked to hang out and i had to decline bc i was studying for the exam. and then i saw on instagram that he posted this one song to his story. and the story itself was weird, my oxford bestie sent it to me like "what is this? why is he so weird?". it was basically like a blurry photo of a dimly lit street but like whatever artsy.

but yeah, it gave me whiplash because i had posted this exact song to my story exactly a year ago. day for day. like isn't that a weird coincidence.

and usually you know how im very obsessive especially when it comes to music. like if i like a song i listed to it on repeat non stop for days. and because of that a lot of the music i listen to is linked to a certain period of my life. so the song my zurich friend posted is the song of me breaking up with B. that's why it stood out to me so much. it's so strange...

[wonustars]

big sigh the ask I sent originally was so long.. why did tumblr give me the option to imbed links when I wasn’t allowed to!

but anyways my assumption is that you’re a girly in stem? I dunno if you’ve ever mentioned smth like this before but im gonna assume that ur super smart and do science or something!

for what I said in my previous ask: I still haven’t re-read way of the house husband BUT im gonna get to that super soon and look out for that ask because I remember when I first read it I really really liked it! (all I remember was the scene where the reader talks with seungcheol and then I start crying and jumping with joy at the same time.) this is another ask abt vernon scott pilgrim because the idea was put in my head and I wont stop talking abt it ever! ive been in this loop of listening to black sheep and then like imagining blonde woozi as todd playing the bass and it’s so nasty, like i need him now! also when scott and todd have their bass battle (and then scott loses) but it’s so silly to imagine vernon and woozi! also did u SEE the pic of scoups flexing during the concert in bulacan? oh my god they get so freaky in the philippines. that pic was sooooo lucas lee like i saw that pic and immediately starting tweaking out and thinking abt scott pilgrim!vernon..

also this doesn’t match the idea of ramona flowers reader BUTTTT i was watching the black sheep performance scene and oh my gosh bassist woozi and envy adams reader i was speechless like one of the best thoughts id ever have..

very surprised how a single text post had me in shambles and started making me write an imaginary fanfic in my head but it was an awesome idea so it makes sense.

also these were the links added for visual :3 one of them is youtube and the rest are twitter!

(jicheol want me soooo bad)

https://youtu.be/1xcSDYy3Dl4?si=9FuSEE6GjQWNnNDG

https://x.com/aludraexe/status/1868872427796865074?s=46

https://x.com/howoosol/status/1708795997315584083?s=46

https://x.com/cherrypick0808/status/1881009904540139807?s=46

https://x.com/winkoniverse/status/1880890248848417152?s=46

(he did this in the philippines bcs he remembered that im filipino! that’s a lie i don’t speak tagalog and ive never been there but its the thought that counts.)

- 🍊

TANGERINE ANONNNNN MY FRIEND 🫶🫶🫶

using read more cuz my response is so long 😭 ^

links:

black sheep

woozi blond 1

woozi blond 2

scoups biceps

scoups is so hot here link

i’ve been wondering how you were doing and i hope the new year has been good to you so far! sorry i take so long to answer, but your asks are so detailed and i love it sm that i want to make sure i have some sort of adequate response 😭 (i like to think abt what ill say before i actly answer hehehe )

anyways your assumption is unfortunately wrong (?) kinda! i’m a psych major but not within STEMhehe im currently in uni for a bachelor of arts degree in psych and hopefully a masters in education/guidance counselling after 🥹

thank you for assuming that i’m smart btw, i’d like to think i have average intelligence tho hehe im the type of person who has to study rlly hard in order to understand the content opposed as to someone who just can read it and understand everything right away 😭

and please! no rush on reading you’re probably busy w ur personal life like every one else on this app hehe :3 so dw and i’m excited to see ur ask abt that fic! i love the way of the househusband a lot 😆

and omg!!! i love your ideas for this scott pilgrim vern fic 😭 w how my schedule for fics r going rn i probably won’t even be able to write it till the summer time so im sorry cuz u might be waiting a long time for it 😞😞

the thought of woozi as todd is so yummy and SOOOOOOOO intriguing i may think abt doing a special chapter delving into his character and envy just for you, and to show my appreciation for you and your amazing asks 😭🫶 thank you btw i get so happy when i see u in my inbox

and yes!!! the guitar battle would be rlly fun i love where you’re going w this and how passionate u are to see this come into fruition 🥹 i’ll do my best not to disappoint you when i actly start writing this heheh and ill make sure to ask u when i do write it! cuz im not as into the scott pilgrim lore, ive only watched the movie once but im def going to watch it a few more times before i start writing this fic,,, may haps after i finish the dk fic i plan to write heheh 😆 so look out for a future post abt me calling out for u tangerine anon :3

I LOVEEE BLACK SHEEP I RMBR WHEN IR WASNT ON SPOTIFY I HAD TO DOWNLOAD IT MYSELF SO INCOULDNLISTEN TO THE BRIE LARSON VERS HAHAHHAAH it’s so good!!!

ANDYES I DID SEE SCOUPS FLEXING DURING THE BULACAN SHOW OMFHEJEIW god im so jealous i need to go to a svt concert in the Philippines ONCE IN MY LIFE!!! I NEED TO BE W MY PPL IN THE MOTHERLAND BADD!!!!!! when i saw those pics of him flexing i think actly crashed out omgjejfjakdjjshd

also tangerine anon, are u filipino 😆 i cant tell if ur saying u are but cant speak tagalog or if u were just joking HEHEHEHE anyways despite all that, as someone who is filipino, u deserve to go to a svt concert and one in the philippines too 🫶 the crowd is always so lovely there 🥹

thanks again for this ask!! i hope you have an amazing day/night 😘💕💕💕

[0thsense]

11/29/2023

It's been a while since nippon and nothing good has happened. That's not really true but it is true I haven't made progress on my goals. I've even made negative progress on lifting and running. Or maybe sideways who cares im just not dedicated enough. why do i bother with good grammar on these posts just let it go bro.

I did well on the osu tournament at least, but ive gotta give up on that shit. just play for fun and casual improvement. I fucked up my wrist the other day too and it still hurts. It kinda hurts to type to be honest. tumblr can fuck off with the spellcheck btw. i talked to Peter about his journaling and im starting to think that my thoughts are just way more cringe than average. ur telling me everyone else doesnt have to hold back cringe all the time? i love being cringe is the problem

one thing I remember feeling on the way to see my pt is that i think i like feeling sad. the type of sad where id like to say its something other than self pity but its probably just self pity. god im so reluctant to say im falling into a common trap that is wallowing in self pity.

oh yea I started taking caffeine pills and not taking medication. I don't think its helping so far but I feel less shit all the time. is it time to truly give up? im scared that im losing my mental faculties. I remember I used to try to optimize everything i did. which i thought was dumb at the time because I would proceed to waste all the extra time I had. but now I dont have that drive to optimize anymore. i dont believe in myself to be different anymore. in fact its a struggle to even be normal.

i dont know if ive talked about this before but I tried to go for a route in my life where I wouldnt have to learn to be normal. if I got far enough doing special weird things then people would accept that I didnt have to be normal, and theyd even praise me for it. but now that ive fallen off the wagon I have to just be behind on being normal instead. I hate the feeling that other people will look at me and think I was wrong all along.

Im so doomer in these posts. I guess getting off the medication wasnt enough to stave away the depression. I didnt even do anything today either programming wise. Theres a month left, and its december. maybe i should just start leetcoding now. I say that cuz its the normal thing to say but there is no way I start before the new year. time to pretend to be happy for the holidays.

im worried that it will be difficult to find a job. i want to find a job in new york but i need to find a position that lets me afford rent. i have a limited number of people i can reach out to for referrals and if those dont pan out im probably in deep trouble and will need to take whatever i can get.

there's a channel called hoe_math on yt that has blackpilled views but surprisingly its really popular. the couple vids i watched were entertaining and agreeable and im scared of watching more and becoming a misogynist. the old me would not have been scared. watch and sift the new information and try to remain as objective as possible keeping in mind all of your own biases. now im a thinking plebian. what happened to me? i ask as i know the answer perfectly well.

also i think im bad at diagnosing my own mental state. after taking molly for the first time i could barely tell i felt anything. that probably has an effect on my diet for example, where my instinct on what i need to eat is dull. is this linked to not being in touch with my emotions? ur feelings are partly a reflection of your body's state after all.

i cant even finish this stupid pong game. any mental obstacle that i think will take like an hour is just too much. the true test of will is the will that can give consistent effort day after day. i wonder how neurotypicals feel. does it also feel literally impossible for them to do certain things? what does it mean to just not want to do something? determinism wise everything either happens or is impossible. i have a hard time relating that to the things adhd stops me from doing. maybe the reason im more inclined to believe determinism is that adhd makes the illusion of choice much weaker.

[afactaday]

aFactADay2022

#730: WHOOOO!!!! i am now definitely the only person in the world whos kept up their new year's resolution for 2 × 365 days!!! what a year its been!

the themed week thing was really fun and definitely changed the way i research. however, i wont continue it into 2023, because i felt it was slightly restrictive, particularly towards the end, so it wont be continued into future fotds - stay tuned though for a whole new format in 2023!!

nonetheless, lets look back on the year in the nerdiest way i could think of: doing one more fact for each themed week!!

(between this and the pub quiz thing, ive been researching and writing facts for a solid four days.... the 51st one is very fun btw.)

#1: Fireworks! fireworks have always been dominated by the chinese: the first gunpowder fireworks were manufactured during the Song dynasty, and the first coloured fireworks were mentioned in 14th century chinese texts. the first rocket propulsion and rocket warfare was employed by the chinese, mentioned in texts from the 14th century. to date, china is the largest manufacturer and exporter of fireworks in the world.

#2: US Laws! in Little Rock, Arkansaw, under article II section 18-54, you cannot honk your horn at a place that serves cold drinks or sandwiches. the exact phrasing is “No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m.” and i wonder whether this means you can honk all you want before 9pm, or whether its only at shops that sell after nine that you cant honk your horn. i would also like to know whether 1am is after or before 9pm. badly written law if you ask me.

#3: Tornadoes! texas is the most tornado-ridden state in the US, at an average of 125 tornadoes per year, followed by oklahoma at 57/year. however, florida has more tornadoes per square mile because its much smaller, even though it only gets an average of 55/year.

#4: Yellow! yellow is the easiest colour to see, with a wavelength at around 555nm, which is why its used in warning signs and so on. thats also why yellow screens cause more eye strain, and why taxis and schoolbuses are yellow.

#5: Calories! there is a very popular myth that celery is a negative-calorie food because it takes more to crunch and digest the fibrous makeup than it contains. however, a study at the oxford brookes university busted this, showing that over 85% of the calories it contains are burned to eat it. but that 15% still makes up 2 calories per 100 grams. but all is not lost! another study has shown that celery can act as ballast, with nutritional content but less calories, as it fills you up and takes up space. moreover, it reduces your appetite, meaning that all in all a side-salad of celery could reduce the caloric intake of a meal by 12%, adjusted.

#6: Nothing! this is less of a fact, but nonetheless, i read an interesting opinion from 1995 called Nothing is Nothing. it argues that the universe must have sprung from something: cosmologists claim that the universe started from nothing, and this particular shade of nothing happened to consist of quanta fluctuating in a vacuum. and surely that makes it something? to quote Lev Landau, “Cosmologists are often wrong, but never in doubt.” i would imagine that the theory is more refined these days but i thought it was interesting.

#7: Squid! every year theres a competition held called the All England Squid Championships, where they try to catch the biggest squid. it is literally a squid game. but in 2012 the adverse conditions meant it was very difficult to catch squid. in fact, only one squid was caught that whole day, by Davide Thambithurai, and it was a third of an inch long. of course it won, but it doesnt feel like a win...

#8: Flowers! sunflowers, aka helianthus, can remove toxic substances from the soil, like arsenic, lead and uranium. after the chernobyl disaster, they were planted to remove caesium-137 and strontium-90 from a pond.

#9: Money! a pound of pounds is 52 pounds (nearly). thats right. If you want the most pounds in a pound, five pound coins (no longer minted) are your best bet: a pound of five pounds is 80 pounds. a more modern second place is a pound of two-pounds clocking in at 75.6 pounds, providing you chop of a fifth of that last one.

#10: Wet Wipes! they were invented by Arthur Julius, a cosmetics factory worker who took a soap portioning machine home in 1957. in 1958 he trademarked the name Wet-Nap which is still being used. his invention was unveiled at the National Restaurant Show in Chicago in 1960.

#11: Fwoggies! the Truadiobatrachus massinoti is an extinct species of “proto-frog” around 10cm long that is thought to be the common ancestor to all frogs.

#12: Chimpanzees! chimpanzees are really bad at rock paper scissors. it took them around 100 days to learn it and only 5 of the 7 subjects got it. and even then theyre awful because they just go for the same thing again and again. the tricky part was the circular nature of it: if scissors beats paper and rock beats scissors, why should paper beat rock? i expect most people have wondered this, actually. i spose you could wrap it up and hide it in a recycling bin... in japan, the traditional alternative is the tiger, the village chief, and the village chief’s mum. the mum kills the chief when he doesnt come home for tea, the chief kills the tiger when it threatens the village, and the tiger kills the mum because thats what tigers do. i think that makes much more sense.

#13: Ice Skating! the first ice skates were probably developed in scandinavia, c1000BC. this was probably more like sliding than skating, but when the dutch made sharp-edged blades in the 13th/14th century it became more refined. the first ice skating club in england was founded in edinburgh in the 1740s.

#14: Tetris! the game was developed partially in order to demonstrate how easy computers could be used, to show that a computer isnt just “a sophisticated thing to deal with numbers and spreadsheets, but also a fun toy to play a simple and engaging game.” the 10x20 grid that the game takes place on is called the matrix.

#15: Easter! 76% of people eat the ears of an easter bunny first.

#16: Trains! in the 50s, there was still a law that train operators had to run affordable 3rd class trains. but they didnt want people to pay less than lots, so they decided to remove the second class, and raise the price of the third class to that of the second, so they effectively had no third class but it was still around. they also gave chimney sweeps free travel because they could sit in third class in their skanky sooty clothes and scare away all the passengers, so people would rather pay the price for first class. sneaky!

#17: Sports Grounds! the oval in south london opened as Kennington Oval, because cricket grounds are shaped like an oval and its in Kennington. the word oval itself comes from latin “ovum” meaning egg. it gives its name to Oval Station, which was the first station in london to get electrified tracks.

#18: Stained Glass! one theory for the prevalence of stained glass was for the benefit of medieval churchgoers, who would have been illiterate, so the stories told through stained glass made the religion more accessible.

#19: Sounds Effects! one major progress moment for foley was the invention of the Vitaphone system by Warner Bros that allowed for sounds to be played in perfect synchronisation with film, allowing for complicated interlocking sounds.

#20: Hedges! formal hedges (the ones in topiaries) need to withstand regular shearing, but even the hardiest plants get tired of this, so they need to be allowed to grow a little longer every time theyre sheared. this means that eventually you need to cut it down and start again. this makes some types of tree very unsuitable for this sort of hedge, like many needle-leaved plants.

#21: Clown! the word Clown comes from cloyne in the 1560s meaning peasant or a man of rustic manners. theories include that it came from scandinavian or low german. one theory i like is that it came from the same stem as clod [of dirt] because clod and clot are used in many languages as synonyms for clown. another theory i find interesting is that it came from Latin “colonus” meaning colonist or farmer, but this seems less likely.

#22: Sedan Chairs! sedan chairs were named after the town of Sedan in France, where they were first used. when introduced to london, they were much cheaper than the hackney cabs, and were much quicker and more versatile, which was why they became so popular so quickly.

#23: Big Ships! Santa Maria, christopher columbus’s largest ship when he reached america, was only 19m long. the largest ship ever built is a tanker called the Seawise Giant, which is 457m long. it was bombed during the iraq-iran war, rebuilt, renamed, resold, rebuilt again, and scrapped after 34 years of life, 5 of which were spent doing nothing in a dock in japan.

#24: Count Dracula! he has appeared in nearly 300 films, making him the most portrayed film character! Christopher Lee has played 11 of these.

#25: Locusts! locust trees are a genus of north american trees used for decoration (and lumber). many of the plants’ flowers can also be eaten and are often had in pancakes and fritters. theyre allegedly called this because the flowers look like locusts... the word locust itself comes from Old French “languste” from Latin “locusta” which is also the origin of langoustine and lobster. people arent quite sure how the c in locust went to a p in loppestre - the prevailing theory is that it was an intentional corruption, influenced by the Old English for spider, “loppe”.

#26: the Charts! since the start of the charts, bands have been trying to cheat the system. rich artists in america would buy and resell thousands and thousands of their own songs to get into the charts. until quite recently, if you bought a t-shirt or went to a gig, it would come with a free record, just so they could say they sold one.

#27: Conspiracy Theories! heres a few more conspiracy theories:

the ice bucket challenge is a baptism ritual for indoctrinating people into satanism.

nigerias 75yo president, who was ill for a while, is a clone.

the hadron collider is a gateway for shiva.

finland doesnt exist - its a ploy by the swedish, russians and japanese to get more fishing rights. the top bit is allegedly just part of sweden and the bottom bit you see on the maps is all sea.

pokemon go is designed by the US government to track everyone. if they wanted to track you, im guessing there are easier ways to do it.

dinosaurs built the pyramids of egypt.

back to the future predicted the 9/11 attacks and the JFK assassination.

the earth is hollow and filled with civilisations.

#28: Bri’ish Monarchs! 88% of brits think queen elizabeth ii faced to the left on all the coins, but she actually faced to the right. this may be because she faced to the left on stamps, but in denmark, there is exactly the same false bias, and the queen of denmark faces outwards on the stamps. this negates the stamp theory, in favour of the fact that its a right-handed thing. apparently its just easier to draw profiles towards the left. the monarchy alternates the direction of facing, since charles ii: the first coin with charles iii on it was recently minted and he is facing to the left, just like george vi.

#29: Caviar! even though its fish eggs, the name derives from bird. it comes from Persian “khaviyar” from Middle Persian “Khayak” from Old Iranian root “qvyaka”, a diminutive of “avya-” from PIE “owyo-” meaning “egg” from root “_awi-” meaning “bird”. this root is also the source of ocarina (diminutive of italian “oca” meaning goose), as in the game.

#30: Microorganisms! sadly, the NCTC havent published their christmas quiz yet. but there was an experiment where tardigrades were shot out of a gun. they survived speeds of up to 2 kilometres per second and pressures of up to 1.4 gigapascals and apparently their gait simply goes dizzy.

#31: Magnetism! Hans Christian Ørsted was the lad who discovered that an electric current produces a magnetic field. he initially discovered this in april, 1820, but he ignored it for three months for some reason... there is a CGS unit named after him, the oersted, which is equivalent to one dyne per maxwell.

#XXXII: Roman Numerals! man, dem engineers getting everywhere! even the i’s in roman numerals are turning into j’s! thats right, during the middle ages when lowercase letters were favoured, the last i in a chain was changed to a j, possibly as a swash variant. this was actually continued into the 20th century in medical documents. the medieval scribes really wanted everything a lot shorter, though, so they started inventing new roman numerals willy nilly. like s for vii (“s”even), S for lxx (“S”EVENTY i guess), F for xl (“F”ORTY), O for xi (“O”NZE). for some reason an X with a little tick after it was 9.5 and a K was 151. maybe they were fans of gen 1?

#33: Potatoes! the Frietmuseum is a museum in Bruges dedicated to chips. it was founded in 2008 by eddy van belle in a building from 1399. exhibits include the history of potatoes, the history of potato peelers, artworks of chips, and how to make the perfect fries. i visited bruges not long ago and im sad i missed this.

#34: Lighthouses! the Sharps Island Lighthouse was blown off its pedestal in 1881, and was swept five miles down the bay with the keepers still inside. It was rebuilt, but this new lighthouse was subject to 40 feet of ice in 1976, pushing it over to an angle of about 15 degrees, rather leaning-tower-of-pisa-esque.

#35: the Channel Tunnel! one major concern of construction was that animals could carry rabies through the tunnel onto the otherwise rabies-free island. another major concern i already talked about was invasion. oh and by the way, the trains drive on the left for the whole duration of the tunnel.

#36: Dinosaurs! one of the earliest known dinosaurs was the Eoraptor, whose name means “dawn plunderer”, allegedly because it lived in the dawn of the dinosaurs. the eo prefix comes from greek “eos” meaning dawn, which comes from the same root as aurora, east, easter, austria and australia. so aurora australis means dawn dawn wind. or something.

#37: Spreadsheets! Tatsuo Horiuchi, aka the Michelangelo of Excel, uses Excel to create digital vector paintings of japanese landscapes.

#38: Cowboys! since they were exposed to a lot of cacti, cowboys wear chaps on their legs. no, not fellows, nor flakey lips, nor divisions of political parties. a piece of leather clothing thats like leggings with a belt. they were originally used in southern spain by vaqueros.

#39: Cats! cats spend 13-16 hours a day sleeping, which is quite typical of predatory animals. the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, was an orange tabby called Stubbs, for 20 years! this town also holds annual moose dropping festivals. it only has 900 residents so the cat doesnt hold much legislative power. according to the manager at a general store, “He doesn’t raise our taxes - we have no sales tax. He doesn’t interfere with business. He’s honest.”

#40: Coyotes! theres one story in the indigenous Chinookan folklore where a half-coyote, half-human goes up to a river and tries to fish but it cant so it does a big poo and the poo tells it that its really bad at fishing, so the coyote-thing asks the poo how to fish and the poo gives detailed instruction. the next day the coyote-thing comes back to the river and forgot how to fish, so it does another big poo, and the poo gives even more detailed instructions. and thats how the coyote learned how to fish.

#41: Car Safety! the WHO has a list of 7 utmost important regulations of safety standards, but only 40 countries comply with them and 80% of cars sold are not compliant. in the US, a pedestrian is hit by a car every 8 minutes. 90% of crashes are caused at least in part by human error according to Stanford Law School.

#42: Hibernation! even fish hibernate. for example, the antarctic cod (Notothenia coriiceps) burrows under the seabed for days at a time during the polar night.

#43: Carrageen Algae! most algae are photosynthetic, but some are mixotrophic, getting some energy from phagotrophy and myzocytosis. but some are parasitic! for example, the Oodinium algae is a genus of dinoflagellates that causes velvet disease in fish by living inside the gills and covering it in its yellowy spores.

#44: PEZ! each PEZ sweets is 15x8x5mm. The logo is made to appear like its constructed out of 44 sweets (a total coincidence that thats the week number, i swear!), making the P 41mm tall, the E 35mm tall and the Z somewhere between 24 and 32mm tall. even thought theyre all portrayed as the same size...

#45: Folding Chairs! the two major varieties of folding chairs are called Front-X and Side-X for obvious reasons. side-X chairs are actually defined by having the support for the backrest and front foot conjoined.

#46: Lightning Rods! lightning rods are often called finials because they act as a finial. sometimes a finial acts as a lightning rod. why cant one thing be two things, i spose. a finial is some sort of pointy thing that emphasises the apex of a building, for example a dome, spire or tower. some finials are pinnacles and some finials are called bouquets. it comes from latin “finis” meaning end, because the finial is the end of the building. but if you didnt have a lightning rod, then surely _that_s the end of your building? xD

#47: Avatar! in Avatar the last airbender, the people can manipulate one of the four elements. The moves for each element was inspired by a different martial art: waterbending by T’ai chi; earthbending by Hung Gar, firebending for Northern Shaolin and Ba Gua for airbending. the styles for each was carefully selected to reflect the element and characters. but interestingly, Toph Beifong who was born blind, was completely self-taught in the ways of earthbending, so her moves are like Southern Praying Mantis, a martial art stemming from a type of kung-fu, which focuses on the hands and speed. there are five main branches of this style, each refined by a different family.

#48: from Kalamazoo to Timbuktu! the first example of rhyming found is the Chinese Shi Jing from c.10th century BC. rhyming is occasionally used in the bible as well. The Quran also uses a form of rhymed prose called saj’. it is known that the ancient greeks knew of rhyming, but classical greek/latin poetry only used it occasionally.

#49: Darts! the line you throw from is called the oche, and must be 7’9” from the board, which is most often positioned at 5’8” off the ground. just from what little i can find around and about, the word used to be hockey (probably pronounced like the hokey pokey) and this word seemed to spring up from nowhere. there is a theory that it comes from the brewery “S. Hockey and Sons” and their crates were used as the toe-line. however, it is unlikely, because there arent any records of such a brewery.

#50: Disneyland! the park in california costed $17m to build, and took 2500 labourers. it is the only of many disney parks to be overseen by walt disney himself. the bench he sat on to dream up the idea of the park is for some reason on display in the park.

#51: Pub Quiz!! for the grand grand finale of the year, heres seven more pub quiz questions! theyre going to be impossibly difficult, as ever, but the theme for this set is #aFactADay! thats right - seven meta-facts!!

1) throughout the whole of #aFactADay2022 and #aFactADay2021, how many characters (not including newlines or the hashtags themselves) were used?

2) throughout the three hashtags, 1.6589% of letters were uppercase. in just #aFactADay2022, what percentage of letters were uppercase?

3) how many spaces are in #aFactADay2022?

4) in #aFactADay2022, how many prices in GBP or USD are mentioned?

5) of the 6447 capital letters used in the three hashtags, how many of them were Es?

6) in 2021, 100%, 85% and 6% were the most commonly used percentages at 3 occurrences each, followed closely by a tie between 2%, 3%, 5%, 8%, 16% and 80% at 2 occurrences each. in 2022, what were the most commonly used percentages?

7) on the first of january, 2022, what time was the first ever #aFactADay2022 posted? one point for on ph and one point for on discord.

_ _

_ _

ANSWERS:

1) 503274. this is about three and a half times the length of hamlet, shakespeares longest play.

2) 1.43229936%. i find it interesting that the capital density went down this year.

3) 45622. i didnt count newlines in this, and emoji had a space either side so they were counted double. apart from this, its a close estimate for the wordcount. this is about two-thirds the length of frankenstein by mary shelley. which i struggle to believe because i read most of the fotd-2022s in about three days, but it took me about three months to read frankenstein.

4) 46. i just did a count for all the instances of $ and £ so it should be close enough. in 2021 it was just 24.

5) 145. this is just 1 in 44 capitals, whereas the lowercase e makes up about 1 in 8. i will now refer you to the lipogrammatic works of Georges Perec, and in particular, his univocalic novel, which i impulsively bought late at night a few months ago simply because its cool.

6) 4% and 60% were both used three times in 2022.

7) 11:11 on pokeheroes and 12 minutes later at 11:23 on discord. there is approximately a 30% chance that i posted at 11:12 on pokeheroes, which doesnt have the same ring to it (this uncertainty derives from the way it rounds the date). i didnt note it down, you see, i just stalked the feed until the time since posting changed. i say i stalked it, i mean i got some code to stalk it for me.

#52: Christmas! brits love sprouts. 25% of sprout sales in the UK happen in the 2 weeks before christmas - as mentioned previously, thats 750 million! if you lined these up, it would stretch from london to sydney! however, some estimates (there are disagreements on this) say that around 12 million sprouts go uneaten. some sources claim this figure is as high as 300 million. why are sprouts so divisive?? (i love em xD ) well apparently theres a gene carried by about two-thirds of people that makes you taste a sharp bitterness in sprouts that not everyone tastes.

and that concludes #aFactADay2022!!! happy new year, and see you tomorrow :D

[twinleafsystem]

25 years my mother has beat into me how cruel the "real world" is and how people arent kind for no reason, for nothing in return. and yet, on the way out, someone asked me if they could sit near me and thanked me for letting them once they left. they wished me safe travels. when i was there, everyone smiled and waved and offered help without even being asked. on the way home i couldnt figure out how to get to tsa and someone sitting nearby said, and i quote, "can i help? please let me help." on the plane back when i was struggling with too much stuff in my hands, the person next to me (who had graciously swapped seats with me when she noticed it was difficult for me to get back up for her to get past me) asked me, "do you need any help? let me do what i can. we're in this together!" and then waved me a bye when we left.

people are naturally inclined to be kind to one another. so many want so badly to help others. hell, i myself kept cleaning and doing extra stuff i wasnt asked to do when i was there. i even wanted to do More, but i just didnt know how, where to put the things after they were clean. still, i tried my best to leave things as nice as i could, my final thanks for housing me for a wonderful week of no stress for the first time in my entire life.

the "real world" is not cruel, or evil, or anything else my mother has forced me to believe since i was a child. she is. its her. its always been her. cruelty begets cruelty, and she is the cruelest person ive ever had the displeasure of knowing, of living with.

i am not the problem. i am kind, i am amicable, i am friendly, i am lovable, i am whole. the average person will not decide to hate or hurt me just because they find it fun, because they most likely dont! what a crazy concept!!

its taken me many, many years to come to the full realization that ive been abused my whole life, and even when i did it didnt change anything. how could it? i didnt have any other experience to compare to it. itd been everything id ever known. but now, armed with the smallest taste of what its like to exist and breathe and LIVE instead of survive...

i have to live. i genuinely do not think any pill has treated my deep seated suicidalness like this week has. i have to live. i cannot allow her to kill me. i refuse. i refuse!!!!!!! I HAVE TO LIVE, AND SO HELP ME GOD I WILL!!!!!!!!!! I WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot lie. I am 💯 not ready to go back to being constantly and consistently abused for another year after a full week of pure bliss 😂👌🏾