#asks!

[themeraldee]

I feel like Homelander would be caught off guard by southern mannerisms in the way that nicknames and pet names are given out very easily. Like reader is a new stylist or something and Homelander doles out a rare compliment and she just beams. "Well aren't you just a sweet thing, thank you Hun"

"Well aren't you just a sweet thing, thank you hun."

Homelander is caught off guard by your earnest words, a genuine sparkling smile on your face while you spritz his hair with a bit of hairspray.

He's used to saying similar words condescendingly. So to have you say it so genuinely and with such honest politeness totally throws him off.

People who work for him are usually annoying, either spewing out fake pleasantries or they're jittery, all scared and walking on eggshells. Either way you're different.

In his eyes this gives you good motherly qualities he's very much drawn towards. The kind of southern hospitality and attitude that just makes him want to please you just so you praise him and tell him what a sweetheart he's being all over again.

It becomes a routine anytime he sits in the dressing chair. He stares at you through the mirror in front of him already giving you a beaming smile.

And there you go again.

"Well ain't you just a ray of sunshine today. What got you all happy?"

"Just having a good day." He shrugs, melting into your hands gliding through his hair, separating the strands to see what you're working with.

Or another day you hit him with a "Well, don’t you look like a million bucks today!"

And already he's puffing his chest out, squaring his shoulders so you see him in the best of lights. And does he purr under your care... You may just be touching up his hair a bit or styling it either softly or more professionally, depending on the event Vought brought you in to style him for. However, to him it's pure self-indulgent pampering as you softly run your fingers through his hair, giving him killer scalp massages. You always take care to make him comfortable and happy.

And you're not blind. He's being painfully obvious in his growing attraction towards you.

That's why you dare to stop him before he heads out to the stage. And you pull him in placing a soft kiss on his cheek, careful not to disturb the make-up he's had put on for the camera.

"Go get ‘em, sugar, I know you’ll do great."

And he's flustered. Looking away, the-tips-of-his-ears-red kind of flustered. It's an event like any other. Like he's done thousands of times yet now it feels like his entire life depends on it.

"You betcha." He gives you a salute and a little wink and with that he's off to, for once, give the next public appearance his all. Juuust in case you're watching.

[weaselishmcdiesel]

god gave karkat 2 hands for a REASON

YOURE RIGHT!!!

[erosmutt]

what kind of porn do you think hayden is into?

this is my absolute favorite ask ever oh my goodness.

here're my thoughts:

hayden is into a multitude of different porn genres, but his favs are most definitely milf, teen, pov, chubby, and blowjobs.

here's my reasoning:

MILF: age doesn't matter to hayden (he's said it before, though it does on the younger side), but he does enjoy milfs. it's something about them - the maturity and experience that can match his own.

TEEN: even though hayden does enjoy milfs, he also enjoys teen and barely legal porn. he likes the innocence and impressionability the actresses have... or act like they have.

POV: let's be honest, hayden hasn't been laid in years. sometimes, jacking off to the entire scene just doesn't cut it. he needs to be immersed. so pov vids are the best thing. he can imagine himself as the one fucking a girl silly. his hand doesn't even come close to the feel of a cunt, but it'll do. (btw, he owns a fleshlight, you know he does)

CHUBBY: this isn't biased, trust me. hayden likes skinny girls, yeah, but oh if he could get his hands on a chubby girl... it'd be a wrap. he watches and fantasizes about grabbing all over the girl, her lovehandles especially. he's so enamored by all the flesh on the actress jiggling. puts him in a frenzy for real.

BLOWJOBS: hayden loves blowjobs. he does. what guy doesn't? hayden would strangle someone to be able to fuck a girl's throat. a pussy can't compare to the feeling of getting actively sucked off.

[megbanned]

does the teacher in the evil au love his job and gets paid enough

Yes

[ssseriema]

i will do Everything for ssserima swagdoons i will look at Every Bug Ever i will Appreciate Mosquitoes and Hug Wasps for ssserima swagdoons. Or maybe a squiddo if you're evil and wicked /silly

you can pay money for a seriema swagdoons !!!!!!! heres a squiddo

[dr-flipflops]

hey will i dont know if you knew this but one time nico drank lighter fluid to go to the infirmary to see you because he didnt know how to start up a conversation or approach you

Im not gonna put my name in case he sees it and comes after me

...

NICOOOOO!!

@nico-sees-dead-people

[callmegaith]

I have an idea. When you posted that art of rebels cheering I liked the design of girl with red hat and blond hair. I suggest you to pair her with the medic girl next to her and add them to your gay half-life universe

MLM/WLW SOLIDARITY LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[maryjayden]

how often do you get in trouble as a citizen?

often enough for the Signal to remember my name..

[themeraldee]

Homelander watching his s/o not take care of themselves

Naw but fr how would he react to seeing his s/o pass out or smthg because they didn't eat enough food? I've seen many things about reader helping him when he neglects himself, What ab the other way around?

He is worried about you!! He's always seen as selfish in a lot of ways but if it's someone he loves he's ALL IN. You're getting a lecture first of all. Why wouldn't you eat enough? Did he do something wrong?? Is this about him?? Is it some sort of silly revenge plot?

But like we've seen with Ryan in my favourite scene ever when he sees his loved one hurting he removes them from the situation/helps them out (*cough* as long as they love him unconditionally *cough*).

So as much as part of it comes from a selfish need to be the centre of your universe where you shouldn't really have time and space to think of anything but him, he also wants you to feel better for your benefit.

Also it's an inconvenience to him when you're not feeling your best because you're not there to cuddle him, make him feel good. So the quicker he can help you out the better.

He doesn't really know what to do but if it's food related he's getting you to write a list of your favourite meals and snacks and comfort foods and he's already fetching a Vought employee that's now solely responsible for bringing you food at regular intervals so you don't have to strain yourself with prepping your own meals. Or if he's annoying enough and he comes back from whatever meeting to see you not having eaten your food he's sitting your ass down, spooning some food up and going "Open up missy, here comes the plane! Wouldn't want it to crash would you? That's one tragedy I can't prevent."

And at the end he's there to collect all your praise when you cuddle up to him and tell him that you're feeling better thanks to him.

[d0not-disturb]

so yk that pearl and gem fanart u did a while back with them in bikinis imma need u to do my girls cleo and lizzie like that :3 !!!!

Informing her on recent events

[weaselishmcdiesel]

consider... car cat x dave petter

davepeta x karkat is so appealing to me bc it's my two most favorite karkat ships in one and also davepeta is my exact gender

[elven-kisses]

can we please get some more ren and martyn silliness

more than happy to oblige :3

[ssseriema]

have you ever drawn falsesymmetry? i think she’d match your style

she has a lot of swagger

[megbanned]

V gets a hamster ball, puts mini Uzi inside, tapes it shut, and starts shaking it.

heheheheheeheh

[nordidia]

hi hello i am LOSING MY MIND over your raph & leo content,,,,,,,,, too fumkign perfect,,,,

rejoice...

[livmadart]

If Conan was isekai'd into Dunmeshi, would the characters think he's a half foot?

Pffffft i would love to drop conan into dungeon meshi he would be so upset that magic exists. To the second anon: so true i basically drew Extremely Long Conan for chilchuck heheheheh

Thank y’all for your asks! I believe @meitantei-shitpost posted something similar to this :)