#aveira . . . writing 🖋️

[avesouls]

the past worth longing for.

in which today, 2 years had passed since the death of aveira's former lover.

word count: 2.3k. not proofread. contains original characters. will be some potentially cringe romance, but its okay.

warnings: heavy angst, death.

i'd listen to 'about you' by the 1975 for the full experience, especially near the end of the writing. there will also be flashbacks in this piece, so anything mentioning her past boyfriend will be from 4+ years ago at various stages of their life.

written by avesouls / satorangel. do not steal.

Today, 2 years ago, Aveira killed her beloved. 

A secret that remained enclosed within the deepest chasms of her desolate heart, the organ consistently suffocating from the sheer guilt that consumed her waking moments. A nightmare that was on repeat, feeling the stickiness warm her palms and the light fading from his cold eyes. How she had extinguished the passionate flame within those beautiful ambers, all for something she still couldn’t understand. 

Kiera had informed her it was merely a result of a job. That she had demanded this for her own good, and Aveira was merely fulfilling her duty. Because that’s all she was meant to do. Survive. Kill. Repeat. A vastly different alternative to the popular phrase of ‘eat, sleep, repeat’, but one that Aveira had once lived through. There was even a brief period where Kiera had offered her support, only it was never enough. 

For once in her life, Aveira had found something entirely hers. Her future. Her happiness. Her everything. And it was taken away from her by her own hand. 

The Gods were punishing her at this point.

A hand would eventually place itself on Aveira’s shoulder, startling her for a mere moment, before she recognised the touch. Her younger brother, who’s name won’t be disclosed for this tale, offered her a distant yet much needed smile. Their relationship nowadays was certainly rocky, but they had one thing in common: loss.

Their parents. Aveira’s love, who even won the approval of her brother when they had met. To him, in which he had mentioned, it was a second chance. A resurrection for the sister he once knew, because never had he witnessed her joy since they were children. 

“Let’s go,” he’d say quietly, already holding out her car keys. “He’s expecting us, after all.” 

Slowly, and with a heavy sigh, Aveira would retrieve the keys, nodding her head. She’d save her voice for later.

Inside Aveira’s penthouse, laughter could be heard from the kitchen. The aroma of pancakes wafted softly in the space, but were long forgotten as arms wrapped around Aveira’s waist, fingers attacking her sides in a playful attack. Tears were threatening to spill as she giggled profusely, her own hands scrambling to try and remove them from her sides. 

“Zach, stop,” she managed to pant out between needed breaths, earning a loud chuckle from the taller male. She heard him hum for a long time, as if contemplating it, only for him to quickly tighten his hold on her and lift her up effortlessly. 

“Hm, no,” he’d respond with a cheeky grin, now taking the oh-so-scary wrath of Aveira’s light hits on his upper back, trying - but not really - to break free from his grasp. It wouldn’t be until he eventually placed her gently on the countertop, ensuring she didn’t fling her head back and hit the upper cupboards, that he’d stick his tongue out at her. 

“You left me to die.” 

“I went to make us breakfast?” 

“No, you left me to die, Ave. What’s so hard to understand?” 

“Oh, shut up, you big baby,” Aveira chuckled, before leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on his nose. “You’d be in a shitty mood if you weren’t fed.” 

Zach lifted a brow then, tilting his head with a small pout. “I’m never shitty. That’s you, actually. Plus, you didn’t even make these pancakes. You ordered them!” 

“I went to collect them from the delivery driver, then,” She responded, winking at him before laughing once more as he flicked her nose. However, her gaze softened as she met those ambers once more, cupping his face gently with her smaller hands. She watched him practically melt into her touch, turning his head to plant soft kisses along the palm of her hand, before he glanced back up at her. 

“No work today?” He’d ask, hope woven in his words. Aveira shook her head in response, and that seemed to be the very melody he wanted to hear. Or witness, in this case. “Good. Because after these pancakes, we’re going back to bed.” 

“We can’t stay in bed all day,” Aveira rolled her eyes, before he placed his own hand against her cheek, only to move it towards the back of her head to urge her to lean in. 

“We can. You don’t have work, I don’t have work. It’s the perfect day to lounge around.” 

The woman only sighed before their lips met in a tender, adoring kiss. That alone seemed to make her give in. 

Sneaky bastard. 

It was a quiet night. The couple were laying together in bed, Aveira resting her body against his as she gently caressed his jawline, whilst his hands softly rubbed her sides. One of those nights where they devoted their time to one another before one of them had to disappear for a few days due to work. This time around, it was Zach’s turn. 

“Do you ever think of our future together?” Aveira suddenly asked, earning a few dazed blinks from Zach. It seemed that she managed to catch him off guard, but he’d humour her. 

“Of course I do,” he’d say quietly, a hushed whisper with this close proximity. His eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes, gazing at them adoringly before he spoke again. “Why, darling?” 

“It’s been on my mind,” she’d respond, tracing random shapes on his jaw. “We’ve been together for a while now, after all. And we’ve already established that kids are something we’d want in the distant future. However, I just…” 

Zach raised his brow at this, before holding her waist better and sitting up better, moving her with him. He watched her expectantly, urging her to continue. 

“...I just think I’d want to get married first before we ever… you know…” 

“You think I was going to knock you up without putting a ring on it first, huh?” 

Aveira groaned at this, rolling her eyes. “Gross, why’d you have to say it like that?”

“I mean, is that not what I’d be doing..?” 

“You’re so strange.” 

“You’re stranger for wanting to apparently marry me, darling. Is this not what this conversation is about?”

“What? No—I mean, yes, technically, but I don’t mean now—.” 

Aveira’s words would be cut off with a single finger pressed against her lips. There was a small smile on his lips as he glanced up at her, making sure she’d remain quiet before moving finger along her cheek, cupping it gently. 

“Of course I plan on marrying you, Ave. You have brought so much colour into my life, I don’t think I could live without it. Being your husband would make me the luckiest and happiest man on this miserable planet. You really think I’d want someone else to have that chance? Fuck no.” 

She seemed a little taken back by his words, her cheeks lightly warming in colour, before she softly giggled. 

“You mean that?” 

“Duh. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” 

“You really need to work on your way of words, Zach.” 

“Hm. I’ll save that for the vows.” 

“I swear to God, Zach, if you’ve taken me to a shitty place with a horrible view…” 

“Oh, have some faith in me, love. I’d never take you somewhere with a horrible view…” 

“But you’d take me somewhere shitty?”

“Yep,” she heard him grin behind that response, which made her groan. Placing all of her trust into him, she had wandered around this mysterious place blindfolded like some weirdo, all for the ‘element of surprise’. She told him she hated surprises, but did he listen? No, of course not. 

After a short while of him telling her where to stand, and then him quickly jogging off somewhere close by to ‘sort a few things out’, she’d eventually hear him tell her to remove the blindfold. Slipping her thumb under the sleeping mask, Aveira would pull it over her head, shaking out her long hair as she pulled it away from her, before her grey hues settled on his little surprise. 

A candlelit picnic, all laid out on top of the hill they were settled upon, with the perfect view of the setting sun. Bottles of red were displayed alongside two wine glasses, as well as an assortment of different cheeses, crackers and fruits for them to indulge in. On top of that, she saw a wrapped up gift with a bouquet of white tulips, her favourite flower. She felt her heart practically leap for joy, her eyes widening at the display, and all she could do was stare at Zach dumbly. 

He met her gaze, orange hues warming her heart even more, before he gently smiled at her. Taking a few steps towards her, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. 

“Happy anniversary, my love,” he’d whisper into her ear, planting a soft kiss on her neck. “I would have brought a little music player so we can listen to your favourite music, but my phone will have to do it for now.” 

“Zach,” Aveira giggled at his words, leaning into his hold. “This is almost perfect.” 

“Almost?” He said, leaning back slightly with a raised brow. 

“It’s still a shitty place.”

That made Zach laugh, throwing his head back even to emphasise her dry humour. However, that smile never faded. 

“Ah, my sincerest apologies. Shall we rank this an 8/10 then for our series of dates?” 

Aveira grinned, before gently pulling him towards the picnic. “I’ll give it a 9 this time. The sunset will look beautiful from here. Now, come on, I don’t want to miss it!” 

And so, they’d spend the remainder of the evening beneath the orange hues, painting the sky with a passionate glow that soon darkened into a twinkling field of stars, the pair slightly tipsy from the wine but nevertheless not dampening the mood. Soft, playful music would play in the background as they messily danced with one another, the luscious blades of grass tickling their feet as they giggled together. Entwined hands, terrible footwork, but the joys that the simplest things in life offered them heightening their happiness and love for one another. 

Perhaps that ranking did peak at the 10 mark. 

Aveira stood before the gravestone upon this very hill, the chilling wind toying with her long jacket and hair as she stared at the engraved writing. 

In Loving Memory Of: ZACHARY AMARYLLIS XXXX - XXXX Forever loved by those around him.

In her hands were white tulips and lilies, a regular offering she’d place upon his grave each year in remembrance of what they once had and what he once was in her life. What he still was, to be exact. Aveira glanced down at the gift, watching as the petals gently swayed with the wind, before she crouched down and set them up within the little vase they had left here. 

Resting her arms on her knees, she took a deep breath before her voice softened. A tone she only ever spoke to him in. 

“Happy 2 years, Zach,” she’d begin, a pitiful chuckle falling from her lips. “Although, it isn’t really happy, is it? After all, I’m still here and you’re still so far away from me.” 

Silence was all she was met with. 

“Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you, you know. How you’d always come up with stupid excuses just to get me to show you an ounce of affection. How you’d always come up with the most random dates on impulse. How you’d always find a way to make me laugh and cry in the best way possible, even when I’m at my lowest. I never thought that’d be possible, especially with the life I’ve lived. But you…” Aveira paused for a moment, taking in another breath as her voice started to break. “But you showed me differently, Zach.” 

Aveira felt the tears swell up once more, only to feel them trail down her cheek. She still hadn’t managed to contain her emotions, even after all this time. But right here, in front of his grave, she’d let them fall. He was the only one who’d be able to see her in this state, and even after death, he never lost that privilege. 

“I’m so sorry,” Aveira’s voice broke, her head lowering. “I’m so, so sorry for ruining a future together. For taking away what could’ve been ours. Everything was perfect with you. Never had I been happier with anyone other than you. Never had I found myself getting embarrassed other than with you. And never had I felt this much despair since your death. Out of… out of everyone I killed, it was your…” 

She couldn’t even finish her sentence. Her face buried itself into her hands, a sad attempt at trying to calm herself down, only for it to fail miserably. 

“Fuck, Zach, I miss you so much. So goddamn much. And each day, I hope something happens so I can be with you again, but you’d only argue with me about it and that’s the one thing I still can’t stand with you. How you’d worry about me endlessly, despite knowing who I am. I mean, really? I could take care of myself back then. I still can now! I…” 

Oh, it was hopeless. Each time she spoke, she’d continue to be met with nothing but the distant wind. Each time she picked a memory of him—of them—she’d only break the dam further. So, instead, she chose to remain quiet. 

The tears that stained her cheek would slowly dry with the help of the cool air, and after a long while, Aveira would finally push herself up from her crouching position. Her legs felt numb, but she didn’t seem to care. She took one last steady breath, wiping her cheeks and eyes with the cuff of her jacket, before smiling once more. 

“Take care, love. We’ll be together soon. Just wait for me.” 

[avesouls]

— i think we were cursed from the start. ࿔*:･ﾟ

( in which a memory lingers within her heart. )

270+ words. not proofread. old writing. contains implications of death/murder. backstory piece for an original character — does not contain jjk references. no other creators characters are involved. do not steal. written by avesouls.

song reference in title: heaven by pvris.

a rose without thorns could only exist when forced. pricked skin, spilled blood—even just a little—and soon, freedom to carry such beauty, such romance, would be granted. a moment of serenity where tongue would no longer taste metal; lips won’t suck red in an attempt to heal anymore, and alas the details of the crimson petals would be visible to the naked eye. poetry written between the folds revealing a confession to the unknown, yet familiar feelings would be felt by many who feign the true receiver.

was there ever one to begin with?

fingernails grazed skin. craved it. claws ravaged the life pumping throughout the vessel, tearing out the life that let loose the butterflies. it was a toss-up between intense love and detestable lust, but both elicited a similar groan. lips parted final breaths, final promises, and a smile completed it. she melted; he fell. she gripped; he faltered. instead of a night, it was only minutes. 

a generous gesture collected tears, thumbing them aside. such a spectacle of pride and joy shouldn’t ruin themselves with unwanted emotions. it was destined, he’d whisper softly, whilst she tightly held onto him. she couldn’t let go so easily, yet his weight was pressing. mentally. physically. she had to. needed to. but his curved lips called out to her, pleaded her another, and she gave in. like he, she too fell. but she would be picking herself up from the ground, moving on, replanting, whilst he would remain and join the rich soil in silence. maybe the burden of their story would join him in hell, or impossibly part in heaven. 

wherever he’s destined, she’d be sure to avoid. 

[avesouls]

man, am i the greatest? god, i hate it. ( billie eilish - the greatest )

word count: 1.2k

warnings: violence, blood, hinted abuse from 'guardian', near death, self harm... kinda. not proofread.

where aveira fails her first mission. takes place before talk with moonie. shout out to @lightcurse2end for making a brief mention, heh.

anything in this colour is a flashback detailing what happened that night.

everything in this font is present.

work written by avesouls / satorangel. do not steal.

Gripping onto the bathroom sink, Aveira takes a few deep breaths to stabilise herself as she gazes at the mirror before her. Dark circles haunt her under eyes, marrying her pale skin further that had already been tainted with bruises along her neck and dried blood stains. Her jaw clenches as the memories from her most recent task invade her mind, how the plan had gone beyond astray to the point she almost died.

The tie around her neck tightened as her victim fought back, his cursing out drowning the sound of her gasping for air. With one hand focused on trying to pull the material away from her throat, her other hand attempted to reach for her gun holstered at her side, only for her body to be slammed against the nearby wall to prevent her from doing so and ultimately crushing her hand in the process. Aveira’s attempt to hiss at the pain was cut off by the messy struggle of survival, her vision slowly starting to fade in and out…

Her arms begin to shake as her hold on the sink simply tightens, only for her to grunt out in frustration as she punches the mirror before her. The sound of breaking glass echoes in the small room, shards tearing the skin along her knuckles that brought along droplets of deep red along the white ceramic. Her body couldn’t even process the pain that would’ve followed after, her teeth gritted as she stared at the new injuries on her hands. 

Everything began to slow down as her body was fighting with itself to remain conscious. Her fingernails scratched against her throat as she harshly pulled the fabric away, whilst reaching for the man and pulling him closer instead, bashing their heads together forcefully that finally got him off of her. Another vomit of curses fell from his mouth until she was able to silence them, reaching for the dagger sheathed along her thigh and piercing it into his stomach. Over and over, before aiming for his chest. The blade plunged deep, and it caused him to falter in movement. Not wanting to take her chances, she twisted it before yanking the knife out, watching with harsh pants as he eventually dropped to the ground. Crimson red pooled beneath and around his limp body, droplets from her weapon adding to the final scene of their brief fight. 

Slowly, her back collapsed against the wall behind her and she slid down, her fingers clenched around the handle of the blade. Her other hand, now trembling from the fighting spirit that saved her life, ran through her dark locks. Aveira failed.

The woman pulls out a first-aid kit after a long moment of silence, the goods tossed out of its container as she pulls out the antiseptic. Not caring for the messiness, she douses whatever cloth was close by and instantly presses it against her knuckles, hissing in agony as the flurry of pain washes over. She couldn’t help herself when she slams her wrist down once more on the surface, as if trying to force her brain to focus on another area of hurt, a drastic attempt to just focus on cleaning herself up without winging like some little…

“How does one fuck up one simple task so easily?” The cold voice spoke slowly, their figure sitting in their plush, leather chair—equivalent to a throne in this setting—as it was turned back towards Aveira. The short woman could really only see their arms prepped on the armrests, the white lights from their many computer screens outlining the shape gloomily. Aveira remained silent, her hands resting in the pockets of her trousers with an impassive expression on her face. With no one talking, only the quiet humming from her boss’s computer systems were heard, until the light creak of the chair turning was heard. 

“I asked you a question, [ERROR]. Do not make me repeat myself.” 

Aveira looked up at them properly then, and alas, she could see their face once more. That familiar, curly white hair that reached their shoulders; those dark, green hues that were accentuated with smokey, messy makeup; those devilish, red lips that were often seen curved into a gruelling smile. Only this time, they were flatlined, proving that they were truly angered by Aveira’s actions in the mission. This woman who had taken Aveira under her wing when she was younger, helped raise her even though she wasn’t that much older herself, and even found a way to help her cope with [ERROR, FILE NOT FOUND]. And now, Aveira had damaged that trust, that respect, for the very first time. 

“I was going to die if I didn’t act,” she voiced, matching her own tone with the woman before her. “He was able to get an advantage on me—.”

“Your one task was to bring him back to me alive. And you messed that up. That man had intel I needed for this upcoming event, and you fucked it up!” She stood from her seat then, her hands clenching by her sides as she walked over to Aveira. A hand reached out and roughly grabbed her face by the cheeks, pulling Aveira closer as she glared down at her. “Are you telling me your excuse is you slacking?” 

“No—,”

“Then why is he not here?” 

Silence once more. Another foolish mistake on Aveira’s part, for the next thing she knew, she was being shoved off and punched in the cheek. Hard. 

“Get out of my sight. If you dare mess up anything else again, I’ll at least ensure you have a death suited for you.”

It seems to work, Aveira removing the cloth and beginning the clumsy process of bandaging herself up. The cream fabric wraps around her knuckles as the cotton rests over her wound, the woman tightening its hold before pinning it in place. She attempts to stretch her fingers out, feeling some resistance, but she seems satisfied with the outcome. Meanwhile, her phone continues to buzz for the third—maybe fourth—time that night, to which she scoffs. Pushing herself away from the table where her supplies were spread out, she grabs the device and stares at the notifications. 

Nagata Koji: Hi Nagata Koji: Seriously, thank you for everything. 🫶

Aveira rolls her eyes. So, he’s the one pestering her? And simply to thank her for doing basically nothing? He is easy to please. Too easy to please. 

As she holds her phone in her hand, staring at the dimming screen, she mumbles something to herself before quickly unlocking her phone and simply responding with a thumbs up. Her mind was in a much more complicated state after the events of today, and she could not bear the thought of handling the weird kindness he, for whatever reason, offered her. Not only that, but he didn’t seem to have the strong mind Aveira ideally needs to help push her into what she was contemplating on doing. 

After all, she didn’t take threats very well. It was simply not in her nature. She is the one who others fear, so why is she allowing that very fear to stifle her own strength? She knows she can do so much alone, and has proven it even. So why? Why, why, why, why—.

Pocketing her device and heading straight into her bedroom, Aveira grabs a pair of black gloves to hide the bandages, before reaching for her long, black jacket. 

She needs a smoke or two. Perhaps even a few drinks.

[avesouls]

the makings of a soulless weapon.

how did aveira come to be? a brief insider on how aveira became known as who she is.

warnings: hint towards parental death. i think that's all.

word count: 652. not proofread. merely a lore piece.

work written by avesouls / satorangel. do not steal.

Growing up as a child, Aveira was described as a bright, young girl. A compassionate, delicate flower whose smile rivalled the summer sun. Once an innocent soul who found many joys in the simplest things humankind offered; the sight of her and her mother in the mirror as they brushed their teeth together; the feeling of being on top of the world whenever her father placed her on his shoulders; giggling as she chased her young brother in the local park, whilst her parents watched on fondly on the gingham blanket. 

Many believe that even when you grow into an adult, the child within you lives on. The innocence tucked away comfortably in one’s soul, only to reveal itself once it finds safety within another individual or comfortable environment. At least, this is something that Aveira’s mother had once consoled her with, back when she was afraid of growing up. 

If Aveira had the chance to, she’d scold her mother for lying. 

Since her parents death, growing up had become quite the blur. Whether it was due to all of the changes happening in her life at once,  or because she was forced to grow up sooner than intended, she could never quite explain. Perhaps it was deeper than that, her brain forcefully making her forget what she had to endure in order to become the woman she was now. 

Not by her own design, but by those who had intended to use her for their dirty work. 

An innocent being manufactured into a killing machine. A shady organisation deeply rooted within the black market who were able to provide professional killers to those who had plenty of money to spare or even government officials who wanted to keep order in the most extreme of ways. Forced to train at the same level as what you’d expect within a military practice, Aveira’s mind would eventually be molded into that of a hollow shell. Gone with the innocence that her family had much pride in; gone with the tender, bright joy of a gentle soul; gone with the softness her heart had once embraced. 

Aveira, at the age of 17, would successfully complete her first mission. Blood on her hands that could never be traced back to her. Just like they had planned with the rewiring of her brain. 

At the age of 18, she would eventually be hired by the very woman she soon would kill almost a decade later. A woman with the nickname Keira, who moved to different countries frequently to hide her tracks. A manipulative yet intelligent woman who’s skill with computing could never be rivalled, meaning her only weakness was her physical strength. She initially used Aveira as a bodyguard. 

But after seeing just what this young woman was truly capable of, she used her for her own villainous tasks. At the age of 21, Aveira became her most trusted lackey. Her right-hand man. Truly, her everything. 

Aveira’s skills with many weapons were incredibly useful. Whilst she preferred the close combat that her blade provided, it didn’t take away the skills she had developed with other weapons. Poisons, rifles, even a bow and arrow in some severe cases. Her agility was off the charts in comparison to the others working under her, and with the trained stealth Aveira came with, it wouldn’t take long for her to be a very dangerous being on the premises. 

Today, at the age of 26, Aveira now remains a rogue. With the only thing she truly knows is how to kill, along with the addictive rush adrenaline provided her, she doesn’t see herself stopping. Even when she stares at herself in the mirror, she cannot see that childlike spirit inside her. 

All she can see is the blood that paints her pale skin crimson, a myriad of stories splashed across her flesh that she had no interest in learning or caring for. 

[avesouls]

writing.

i think we were cursed at the start.

man am i the greatest? god i hate it.

the past worth longing for.