#back to our regularly scheduling program after this

[mydearthisbe]

Ayesha Liveblogs Shrek 3 and 4

The wild gendered expectations they have on Pinocchio to hate dinner theatre LMAO

"I am the rightful King of Far Far Away." On what grounds, Prince Charming?

Why does Shrek have to do all the knighting and christening of boats when Fiona is the royal heir? Even in Shrek we cannot escape the misogyny of inheritance laws

"Imagine an Ogre baby. They extra cry, and they extra poop." This is unfortunate foreshadowing for how many babies they're gonna have

"I am proud to call you my Frog-King Dad-in-Law." Ghkjhgkjhg Shrek is as preoccupied with Harold being a frog as Harold was with him being an Ogre

"You and Fiona are next in line for the throne." Again, I feel like Fiona has this whole like, princess her whole life thing going for her. Why does Shrek need to be ruling in any way

NOT KING HAROLD BEING SENT TO REST IN YE OLDE FOOT LOCKER BOX:

Why has Doris been thrown out of the bar!! Who is Mabel!!

"And you, Frumpypigskin." "Rumplestiltskin." "Where's that firstborn you were promised?" I think this is supposed to be foreshadowing for the next Shrek movie

"How does it happen?" said Donkey, as if he did not have at least five children (six if we count the missing baby, whose name is apparently Éclair)

"My stomach aches and my palm just got sweaty. Must be a high school." Relatable. Also the implication that Shrek went to high school. Was it an Ogre high school or a general high school for fairytale creatures

"My friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. And she thought perchance you would ask her to the homecoming dance." Tiffany confirming that the Shrekfucker community is alive and well

Not Arthur Pendragon being bullied by the nerds omg

Fgjkhkghkgjh Guin being repulsed by Arthur. Rough

I guess we know where Doris is!! At Fiona's baby shower

"I got you the biggest one, because I love you the most." HAHAHAHA not Snow White giving Fiona a PERSON as a present

HAHAHAHAHA I love Pinnochio double negativing Charming into confusion

"He'll never fall for your tricks!" [Nose grows] Pinocchio knows Shrek is very gullible

Most of Shrek's problems are related to just being too strong to handle his own body

How long does Shrek think he can hide the fact there are other heirs to the throne. Does he think if he waits til they're in Far Far Away, Artie won't turn back?

"Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me." This movie strongly feels like it was written by the parent of a teenager LMAO

"Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex." Me trying to talk to my parents

"My dad wasn't really the fatherly type either." 1) The plot of this movie is simply Daddy Issues: Shrek Edition and 2) Are we finally going to find out where some of the other Ogres are?

I guess we have taken until the third movie to confirm that some, if not most, Ogres, are pro-eating each other, at least. Shrek's father said, I put you in this world, I can take you out

"People used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names that people call you, and you just trust who you are." SOMETHING SOMETHING METAPHORS FOR OPPRESSION SOMETHING SOMETHING MY HEART

"That Charming makes me hotter than July." Why did Rapunzel say 'ew,' isn't she the one that Charming calls Kitten Whiskers lmao

Update from 30 seconds later: I got an immediate answer to this question in the form of Rapunzel betraying them

Also: Is the topiary supposed to be Lillian or is the implication Charming's first act in this coup was to replace the garden sculptures jkhgkjhg. I've been thinking it for a while but Lillian and Charming really do have the same hair and general face shape:

"Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry." Fiona why do you need Shrek, you can take out a band of ten Merry Men by yourself!! Are you hesitant to fight because you're pregnant? This movie should really be about Fiona and not Shrek

"Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid." Bold of them to choose this name for Artie's hometown hahahah

HAHAHAHA Artie defeats Merlin's magical insecurities by having a tantrum

Efhjkfhkfjh the implication that Donkey has been suppressing his inner heehaw for two whole movies. Poor Puss in Boots

"He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek." Artie's best quality as a leader is his ability to think on his feet

"I wasn't right for the job. I just needed some fool to replace me." IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT THE ROYAL HEIR OF FAR FAR AWAY SHREK, FIONA IS! IT'S HER THRONE AND HER DECISION, U DINK

Shout-out to Cinderella's slowly dwindling mental health, she's got some of the most labour-intense and psychologically difficult backstory kghkhjg

Oh hell yeah Julie Andrews as Mama Lillian showing where Fiona got her fighting skills

"Okay girls, from here on out, we're gonna take care of business ourselves." AS THEY SHOULD!

HAHAHAHAH Snow White's singing scene is all I remember from this movie. Get 'em girls!!!

Cinderella throwing her glass shoe, Sleeping Beauty tripping them with her narcolepsy, Doris tripping the men up with her leg that didn't fit into the shoe. I love that the mechanisms of their fighting are the same as their confines in the story

"Shrek only said those things to protect you." And because they were true! He was also dishonest with Arthur lmao

Awwww the Shrek fan club in the audience. He really is a beloved by the people, in his way

"If you don't mind, could you kill me, and then sing?" Charming really should've put a muzzle on Shrek if he wanted him to be a silent participant in this play

Shrek's strongest asset by far is the community of people he and Fiona have built (the fairy tale creatures, the princesses, Doris, the dragon, the citizens of Far Far Away)

"Don't you ever wish you could be something else [other than a villain]?" Arthur yet again comes through with his gift of gab

"What Steve's trying to say is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you." Steve and Ed the Evil Trees raise very point

"I grow daffodils, and they're beautiful." Love this for Captain Hook

"It's yours if you want, you know. But this time it's your choice." WHY IS IT NOT FIONA'S CHOICE!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE NOT THE PRINCE, SHREK!!!!

You know, if the only remaining complication of switching bodies is losing your tail for a bit, that's not the worst

"I think the kid's going to be a great king." "Well, for what it's worth, you would have too." SO WOULD YOU, FIONA, AS HEIR TO THIS KINGDOM!!!! Raised as a princess!! The plot of this movie is so bizarre

I love how much Lillian loves her weird little family. No Judgement Mum

Tag yourself, I'm the "Where's the Baby" Dwarf kjghjghjh

Well, even if it's not something Fiona specifically identified as wanting for herself instead of ruling, I'm happy they get to have their happy little family in the swamp and a nap

Onto: Shrek 4

I will not lie to you, I am mostly watching the fourth Shrek because I went to Shrek trivia and we missed a bunch of questions related to the fourth movie LOL

Why does the animation look so funky in this one? It's giving a bit of Monster by Mistake/direct-to-video sequel

How are Shrek's babies old enough to speak but Donkey's still look the same even though they're at least 9 months older?

Is the plot of this, much like the second Incredibles movie, 'I can't believe that I, a father, have to parent'

I know people have been committing Ogre Microaggressions all day and that he wasn't the first to destroy the cake (Donkey licked and the Pigs ate the first one) but what kind of a father destroys his own children's birthday cake. Get some therapy, Shrek

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, it's not like you're a real Ogre. You spent half your life in a palace." "And the other half locked away in a tower." 1) What a thing to say to someone who became an ogre permanently FOR YOU, and 2) She got a point there, Shrek

"You have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything." Shrek said: God Fiona, have you ever heard of an introvert

Lmao @ this movie retconning the fact that Shrek and Rumplestiltskin have already encountered each other when Arthur took the throne

Shrek representing the very real experience of not reading the terms and conditions every time you sign off:

"It's me, Shrek, your best friend." After four movies Shrek finally admits that Donkey is his best friend hahaha

Gingey being in a cookie fighting league jkhfkfh on brand for him

Why is there such a large proportion of witches in Rumpelstiltskin's palace hahaha, I get that there were more than a few, but Rumpelstiltskin seems to hang with witches exclusively?

"I ended Fiona's curse." Technically yes, but did u really Shrek? You just ended the switcheroo to her original human form, not the resultant transformation

I gotta say, the soundtrack moments in this film are so far a lot weaker, BUT I do love Shrek rescuing Donkey, His Best Friend Who Doesn't Know Him, and covering his eyes as they go through the roof:

As if to challenge me on that last point, they had Shrek sing an off-key rendition of "You've Got a Friend," which was delightful

Donkey looks particularly off in this movie and I've just realized it's because of the texture of his fur. It was smooth and growing in a similar direction for three movies, and now it's super coarse and messy

"You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin." Not Donkey having more common sense than Shrek HAHA

"You gonna have to take me to dinner first." I will take this as Donkey coming out as bisexual

"Fate has delivered us a comrade-in arms and for that we are thankful." The implication that Ogres do have a society and Shrek just chooses to never interact with them bc HIS FAMILY is the only one who loves terrorizing is VERY FUNNY

I love how Shrek also seems to be one of the smallest Ogres. Little man

I thought the idea of Fiona staying an Ogre was for her to subvert the beauty standard (which like, another conversation, 'cause she looks fine as an ogre) but they had to make a point of her being a sexy warrior ogre HAHA:

(I can see why this film didn't do that well with audiences)

Why is Fiona the ONLY female ogre? Where are the women!!

"Well, I see who wears the chainmail in your family," said Donkey, both correct about Fiona's fighting prowess and unaware that his wife is a Dragon ten times his size

Took me a sec to realize why the water would be threatening to the witches kjhgjghjgh (not poison, just dealing with Dorthy Dousing Disease)

OHHH Cookie is an Ogre who loves cooking, I had wondered about that in the Shrek trivia

"Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?" Donkey is SO excited to be a father!! I love that for him

Lmao @ them suggesting Shrek stresses Puss into being physically fit with the fights he causes

"[Candy]'d work on me." I guess there is another woman Ogre, but not with a scanty outfit! Only Fiona gets Ogregectification

I do love the falling in love while sparring. Couples MMA league:

I love that Puss in Boots is immediately Team Shrek/Fiona

"You are a catastrophe." "And you, are re-donkulous." [Shared laughter] Hahaha I like that the only obstacle in Puss and Donkey's friendship was they needed to meet sooner to avoid the competition for Shrek's attention

"I can't believe I let this happen, and it's all because of you." In fairness to Shrek, no one could see inside the carriage

They spent the entire animation budget on this frame of Puss in Boots:

I do like them subverting the expectation that just a kiss would solve their problems when love is what they need

"Then where were you, when I needed you?" Thinking of ways to become an absentee father

"Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator." I wish all political announcements were this honest

There is something fun about the circling back to Shrek 1 Mob

"If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it all away to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?" "Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone, alright?!" Fiona even reminded you! Get some therapy Shrek

"What are you talking 'bout, cracker?" I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GOT AWAY WITH PUTTING THIS IN A CHILDREN'S MOVIE (point of clarification: It was said to the Gingerbread Man)

DID PUSS IN BOOTS JUST KILL GINGEY???? AH?????

"I'm just a frightened old man." "Don't listen to him, these Ogres are crafty." "That is your father painted green." Pinocchio finally gets his revenge on his dad for selling him to the Duloc Guards hahahaha

Shrek giving up his freedom to save the other Ogres 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Nobody's smart but me," said Rumpelstiltskin, while leaving the only two people who could break his spell together to fall in love:

HAHAHAHAA how could they have Trojan Horse'd Rumpelstiltskin SO QUICKLY after being freed?? It is the SAME NIGHT, 2 MOVIE MINUTES LATER:

"I'll call you! We're in love." If there's one thing Donkey is willing to do, it's commit to the bit

I love that the way they keep Dragon at bay is both a callback to the first movie and a callback to the phrase Fiona has tied knots with throughout the movie. A rare moment of good writing it in this funny little movie

I guess in lieu of Shrek's other friends knowing him, it's an Ogre-only revolution

"Looks like we're having curly-toed weirdo for breakfast." So ogres eat ogres AND people. Four movies for someone to confirm it explicitly!!

"You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with all over again." A very sweet reflection about a problem Shrek caused himself

Lillian is genuinely so accepting of her bizarre family 💞 She doesn't care if she married a frog or if her grandkids are ogres

I can't believe they saved two of the best soundtrack songs and this fun character montage of moments throughout the series for the end credits!

Overall, I would say I prefer the first three Shrek movies (and especially the first two) but if they put out another one, I would probably watch it LOL

[artificialhaunts]

Neil is one of my favorite Tumblr holidays! Happy 19th buddy!

[vulcanette]

📸: @horny4iv

[transyashiro]

not to bring up ""the discourse carousel"" again, but it is pretty funny how almost every time someone from the transandrophobia crowd gets mad at me, they talk about trans men as a group of people that i'm implied not to be a part of. and, okay, maybe it wasn't obvious or clear to some, but i am a trans man myself, yeah? it certainly doesn't make me an authority on anything, but it is as much my place to speak on this as any other trans dude. so stop being patronizing and trying to shut me up. and if you're excluding me from "the guys" just because i'm not joining in on villainizing trans women with you, then your idea of trans men that "count" hinges on transmisogyny, which is not surprising at all, but like. stop this shit

[taxlthomas]

drew this rq back on August 1st and forgot to post it so i may as well now (the single spm drawing from me every few months or so yk)

[runnning-outof-time]

I don’t wanna say I got carried away when I really just killed a man…oh, God, disaster struck again.

Arthur Shelby Moodboard based off of the song Disaster by The Red Clay Strays

Been a bit since I’ve made a moodboard….I couldn’t get this song out of my head since I discovered it again last week — I feel like it fits Arthur’s character well, especially the lyrics I included above. I hope you like it! :)

[nichiperi]

So I recently watched E.T. for the first time in ages and DAMN did that unlock some childhood memories for me.

[glueoffline]

in nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti. amen

[intheholler]

hey yall - sorry for the newest bout of radio silence. its been rough out here and by 'out here' i mean in my noggin.

thanks so so much for 8k followers. it's kinda hard to believe. love each n every one of u <3

[dinoserious]

this yrs art summary o7

[angelwinkteruhashi]

(It's the caramel cheesecake you requested!)

I... completely forgot I wanted this in the rush of all the PR stuff I've been doing.

Thank you, Minori!! I really appreciate it (^▽^)

[eterniravioli]

what did i miss

[michsmeesh]

saw a little slug on a strawberry earlier and almost started crying because my first thought was "someone seperated this little guy from his mother,,.,. why are people so cruel" so i quickly painted this thing because i'm emotional today

[animatedjen]

Ahsoka: Hayden Christensen and Rosario Dawson on Anakin's RETURN (Exclusive)

[thebiggestfuckgiven]

As promised, and I posted it before midnight, so it is definitely on time and not late whatsoever!

The snowball is officially rollin’

Enjoy!

[shopwitchvamp]

It happened! Just had a video hit 1k views for the first time!!

But speaking of videos, yeahhh I'm not gonna be able to make another one until Tues/Wed at the earliest. So much going on lately. I definitely wanna get a "look ahead at August 2024" one out next week tho!