#basically all hermits are in here
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fantasykiri5 · 2 months ago
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Day 9 of Hermit-A-Day May: Outfit Swap!!!
I’ll have you know I spun a picker wheel to get this combo and I firmly believe it was the funniest possible outcome. Plus I will jump at any opportunity to draw Pearl’s chunky solar punk boots I love them so much
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mbohjeezart · 1 year ago
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Im never doing this perspective again
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mooseyspooky · 1 year ago
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November, 1983
Edge Hill University, Picture by Adam Marsh
Source
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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windthreader · 2 years ago
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Very shitty descriptions of my muses part 1;
Alva Lorenz: famous inventor gets electrocuted to death by accident (or not) and is brought back to life by some sort of Eldritch God and now worships it in exchange. Funny fact: the Eldritch god took the shape of a cat so if u look at it in this way, his God is a cat.
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gyumazing · 2 months ago
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"Wanna See?"
Basically, it was your finals week. Riki came over acting all upset because you were 'ignoring' him.
A/N: wrote this for less than an hour (hence the reason why it is a bit tacky) because I was bored and I am having post exam anxiety. This was very fun to write (I got second hand embarrassment while writing lmao).
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Pairings: Nishimura Riki × Reader
Genre: Fluff × Suggestive
TW: Mentions of male genital. Low-key cat and dog dynamics.
“Bruh! Come here! Stop acting like a mysterious hermit.” you said, dragging your sulking boyfriend into the frame of your iPad's front camera.
It was a regular Tuesday night before your last finals exam, and your clingy-ass boyfriend decided to pop up unannounced in the dead of night under the guise of bringing you dinner. In reality? He just missed you and needed attention. Study session? Absolutely wrecked by whiny Riki in his signature black cargo pants and navy green hoodie.
“Why did you even come over if you're gonna act like a bish.” You rolled your eyes at him as he continued to refuse a selfie, his ever-deepening frown matching your own. You even tried sneakily inching your iPad toward him, but this man dodged like his life depended on it—like that 12MP lens was a sniper scope.
Then he yanked you by the waist and buried his face into your neck. You're not sure if it was a tactic to hide his face or if he was just being extra clingy, but either way—it was annoying. You shoved his face away.
“What’s your problem?!” he whined, his brows still furrowed like a grumpy cat.
You squinted. “No. What is your problem?!” you shot back, swatting his hands away. “I was peacefully studying and then you waltzed in, started acting like a toddler, and now I can't even take one cute pic of us?!” you hissed, teeth clenched.
In true demon form, Ni-ki bit your neck mid-sentence, earning a sharp curse mixed with his name.
“No. What is your problem?!” he repeated, this time with trembling lips and a suspiciously emotional tone. “I’ll be on tour for three months, and you didn’t even bother messaging or calling me!” His voice cracked. “If I didn’t come over tonight, I bet you wouldn’t even care even if I got eaten by wolves!”
You groaned like it was your final breath.
“And now you suddenly want to take a cute picture like you didn’t ghost me all week and act like I was some delivery guy when I arrived!” he huffed, biting your neck again.
“STOP THAT!” you shrieked and pushed his face off like you were warding off a vampire.
“I was going to visit you after my exams!” you snapped, mirroring his dramatic energy.
He hugged your waist tighter, now clinging like a koala.
“But that’s just one day before I leave! That’s not enough! Not freaking enough!” he argued like a pouty kid denied candy. “And where’s my kiss, huh? You didn’t even look at me when I walked in!”
At this point, you weren’t sure if you were dating a guy or babysitting a 6-foot-tall, sentient tantrum. You glared at him.
“I was reviewing, you dumbass!” you growled, grabbing his chin forcefully to face the camera. He grumbled out a protest, but before he could escape again, you smashed your lips onto his and furiously pressed the shutter button.
His gasp of surprise gave you the perfect opening to slip your tongue in. Just for science, of course. The pathetic little whimper he let out in response almost made you short-circuit. He gripped the back of your head, tilted slightly, and tried to suck your soul out like his life depended on it.
You pulled back after a few seconds, breathless and wide-eyed.
And there he was—Nishimura Riki, the cool boy with maximum aura (his words, not yours), tomato red and staring at the wall like it held the answers to the universe. He avoided your gaze and opened his mouth slightly like he was gonna say something profound... then he dragged you into his lap and hid his face in your neck again.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Bro, what the hell?”
He looked up, dead serious.
“I am not your bro.” And just like that, he faceplanted into your neck again. "Say that again I'm gonna smack you." He threatens.
You were about to roast him, about to suggest calling him 'sis' instead, but then—you felt it.
Your eyes went wide. You froze.
You suddenly felt something... poking you from below.
Now you were the one frozen, eyes wide in absolute horror.
You sat stiffly on his lap for a few seconds, every neuron in your brain screaming at once.
To confirm your worst suspicion, you discreetly shifted your hips—just the tiniest bit. But the moment you did—
“Hnghh…”
Riki moaned.
His hands gripped your waist tighter, and it felt like your entire soul just jumped out of your body and hit a backflip midair.
You panicked. Hard.
"What are you doing, baby?" he asked, dazed, his voice breathy and sinful and entirely too casual for what was happening.
You panicked even harder.
"Bro, your dick is poking me!" you blurted out with a nervous chuckle, trying—failing—to downplay the absolute meltdown happening inside your brain.
You and Ni-ki had been together for years. You’ve done a lot of questionable stuff—made out in cars, in hallways, even in the middle of a study session—but this? This was new. This was dangerous territory.
Ni-ki, now redder than a stop sign, didn’t look away. His eyes were glued to yours.
"That’s your fault…" he muttered with a dramatic little whine.
You slowly grabbed his wrists and tried to peel his hands off you so you could escape this abomination of a moment—
But the universe said no.
Riki held you back firmly, unintentionally pressing you down back against the very thing you were trying to flee from. And for the love of God, the sound you just squeaked was enough to make your souls burn in the pits of hell.
It sounded so womanly: It sounded nothing like you've ever sounded before.
Mortified, you shoved Riki back onto the couch like you were performing an exorcism and scrambled away, flailing like a fish out of holy water.
You made the sign of the cross with your arms, eyes wide like you’d seen Satan himself.
Riki blinked at you, clearly confused—then he started laughing.
“Devil be gone!” you screamed at him, still backing away like he had the plague.
“What?” he laughed through his red face. “It’s a normal bodily reaction, love. Don’t worry about it too much.” He tried to reassure you with flushed cheeks and zero shame.
You scooted farther like he had uncured demonic possession. “Get that ginormous thing away from me!” you yelped.
Ni-ki smirked, clearly entertained. But thankfully, he respected your space and stayed where he was.
“Ginormous?” he repeated, the grin on his face slowly evolving into the grin of a man whose ego just grew five sizes.
You nodded frantically. Big mistake.
His grin got even wider. "It's a perfectly manageable size, baby. Wanna see?"
“NOPE!” You squealed, hands flapping as you turned tail and ran straight to your room, slamming the door and locking it like you were under siege.
“Darn you, Nishimura Riki!” you shouted from behind the door, face buried in your pillow in defeat.
And from the other side, his smug little voice:
“You said ginormous.”
____
I luv him sm hehehe
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orangeocelotmartyn · 2 months ago
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Ren: And then of course when all of us Hermits got together...that time flew by, also, mostly because we were having such a--stinkin' great time together, that, uh, every day was a new joy, that. Sort of disappeared really quick. And I miss everybody already, I gotta say, man. Like, uh, back to...my very solitary existence here in England. Of course, I'm a real life Hermit, so, um, spend most of my time alone, and. I must say it was very nice to have some, uh, people I care about around me for so many days. And not-not just like. Around me, but, you know, we were sort of living together for a bit. And um. It was-it was wonderful. It was so so good. (to himself) Is this a--okay. This is very many, okay, this is four. Let's get these four over the river--this might be a little bit tricky, and there might be another couple others that we spot along the way.
Ren: "Gem was really struggling with missing everyone when she came home and on stream." Yeah, you know, it's, it's-it's Weird, we were, we were in like, an Alternative Universe for a little bit, where everything was perfect, and everything was wonderful, and we didn't--like, all we had--we-we-we basically went back to Eden for a bit, you know? We were basically kids again, where--our entire...uh, like, our only purpose every day was to enjoy the day, and enjoy each other's company, and just hang out and do cool stuff, you know? W-we-we made a pact together. That we would not do any work while we were, um, living together. So, no social media, no checking YouTube, no checking anything, just. Living. You know? Which is something, uh, that YouTubers and streamers don't do very often, so. I think we all really enjoyed...just being alive, for a little bit. (he laughs) And not thinking about anything else but just chilling with each other. (responding to a comment) Yeah, it's a bit like summer camp, yeah, macBcheesy, that's-that's a really apt description of it, I would, uh-I would-I would definitely agree with that, it definitely felt like a summer camp vibe, for sure. Um. But, yeah, very much missing everybody, I think everybody's, uh, missing everyone, missing the times that we had-- Scar: (in a singsong) Ren Diggity Dog~ Ren: (startled) Oh my goodness, there are voices--
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thetarotyapper · 3 months ago
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how would people describe your beauty to others? (pick-a-card reading)
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paid services 18+ paid services tarot community ko-fi
(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. scroll down to read your message!! remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)
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𐙚⋆.˚ pile 1 𐙚⋆.˚
3 of wands, temperance, the high priestess, the hermit, 3 of cups, 2 of cups
babe, you are LITERALLY the GLOW UP pile. not only is your facial features captivating, but you're also SMART. you're the definition of “beauty with brains”, like im not even kidding!! your facial features and structure is so perfectly balanced, you are the standard. like you're perfect. i'm not over-exaggerating here because it's true. people have noticed your glow up and your transformation and i can hear people whispering to others, “they used to look so different before but now they're unrecognisable!” 
your beauty catches people off guard and something about your face just beings me this sense of peace. it's almost like your face takes over your personality - and you have a kind personality. basically, your face is so beautiful and kind, it gives people this sense of comfort. people can't even get jealous over you because they're too busy lost in your beauty. and also because they know they can't be you heheh :b 
i’m see that before you might've struggled with body-image or you would've been insecure about the way you looked, but you put in the effort to transform and look at you now babe - catching people's attention and leaving them speechless! what makes you even more captivating is that you're smart. like ugh what do you not have??! you are everything.
you also have this mysterious and guarded look and i also feel like this is your energy. people find you so alluring because you're not easy to read. people want to get close to you. please want to know you. omg suddenly i hear a guy saying this while pointing at you, “you see them? (im actually getting a lot of feminine energy from this pile so hi my loves🤭) that person right there? they're so hard to get, and they're so irresistible”. 
some of y'all who chose this pile might be a part of the queer community and im seeing that you gain a lot of attention from both masculine as well as feminine energies. you're so hard to resist, pile 1. people want to know you but you do not open up so easily. im also seeing that some of y'all would have been victims of bullying (im so sorry, love. please know that people love you and care about you. you're beautiful and you matter<3) and now that you've changed for the better, everyone wants to get close to you. i have personal beef with whoever hurt you (⁠ノ⁠`⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻
im also seeing that men in relationships are literally ready to risk their current partners to get a chance with you. but you're not that type of person. you're gaining a lot of attention, pile 1. you might feel overwhelmed at times and a little put-off because all this seems so odd to you because this sudden attention is just too much. before, you struggled with being in your skin and now you're comfortable and happy with yourself. i see you being proud of yourself and you know what babe? you should be!! because only you know how far you've come. you know what's the sad part about your reading, pile 1? previously, people didn't really give you that much attention or your presence was dismissed by many but now that you've had a glow up and you look so beautiful, EVERYONE wants to talk to you. my advice would be that people don't deserve you if they weren't with you during your worst. all you need is yourself, so don't entertain the ones who don't deserve to be in your energy, love<3
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𐙚⋆.˚ pile 2 𐙚⋆.˚
10 of swords, king of wands, page of pentacles, 5 of cups, the emperor, page of wands
YOUR EYES, BABE. YOUR EYES. something about your eyes just called out to me. they're intense, dark and dominating. people feel INTIMIDATED by your beauty. something about you is just so jaajajjakka like i can't wrap my head around it. more than your beauty, it's your energy that speaks. your energy is what makes you so captivating. people describe you by your energy. i hear people saying, “they're not easy to talk to”, because you make them nervous, babe. no, nervous is not the word. anxious. yes, that's how you make people feel. i see that people are even scared to lie to you. it's almost like you see right through them. IT'S YOUR EYES, LOVE. UGH, SO BEAUTIFUL AND CAPTIVATING. and the fact that y'all stand your ground and are so mature is what makes you so sexy….
you could be at a party with thousands of people around you and you'd still somehow capture people's eye. your energy and your beauty is something that cannot go unnoticed. your beauty just calls to people….you know? i hope i made sense. your beauty is so controlling and authoritative, people literally want to obey and worship you. pile 2, i'm not doing justice to you. like i don't know why but i feel like the way i'm describing you is not doing justice to your beauty. but that's the thing, people don't know how to describe you. there's no words to describe your beauty. it's just so out of this world. you're ethereal. you're everyone's dream person. 
im getting a feeling that you might be sexualized a lot by people or that you might've been catcalled a lot - oh love, im so sorry :( people look at you as this “prize” or “opportunity” they want to claim, but what they fail to notice is that you are a human being and that you have emotions. ugh people like that piss me off. pile 2, you're gorgeous and i'm so so sorry you have to go through all of this. take a deep breath and exhale slowly. when you're ready, we'll read the next part okay? no pressure<3
i'm seeing that currently you're in the process of a transformation and that your aesthetic or your looks are not “fixed” yet. either that means your features are still changing (maturing) or that you like to try out different clothing aesthetics and make-up. you like to experiment with your looks a lot. people can't mess with you and people don't even want to mess with you. i'm seeing some envious eyes here. some people are jealous that you can pull off ANYTHING and they can't. you're the type to slay in pyjamas.
pile 2, you give me the vibes of someone who is still maturing or someone who is still quite young. please stay safe out there because humans are unfortunately our worst enemies. the world is becoming a better place, but not everything is perfect. please take care of yourself and protect yourself. because i don't like the energy of the people around you. you need to be a little cautious because not everyone is a well-wisher, love.
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𐙚⋆.˚ pile 3 𐙚⋆.˚
justice, 3 of swords, page of cups, the fool, the lovers, king of pentacles, ace of pentacles
my lovely pile 3, your beauty is PIERCING. it's so raw and beautiful. i hear people thinking, “what makes them so different? they look like any other person but god…there's just something about them that i can't ignore!”. you get people flustered and frustrated, pile 3. people don't know how to act around you. they feel so conscious and nervous around you. people felt intimidated by pile 2, oh but they're scared of you, pile 3. 
the way you talk is very attractive and people love listening to you talk. you just make so much sense. you also have a very confident gaze, people are afraid to make eye contact with you. your beauty pains their heart. but you know what pains them even more? it's the fact that you're not theirs. i wouldn't be surprised if people fantasize about you. you possess the type of beauty that has people HOOKED. you're the airport crush. your face is just so hard to forget - and the fact that your natural/bare face is so attractive, it makes people go crazy over you. you have this touch of “freshness” or like a “clean-girl-aesthetic” vibe - like people just love your bare face. 
many people literally fall in love with you during the first encounter. but can you even blame them, babe? the previous two piles had a very strong and dominating energy, but your energy is so soft and soothing. i'm also seeing pink and plump lips. i have no words for your beauty, pile 3. how are you even real? you have such a youthful face and your skin literally GLOWS. you might be into skincare too. it's just the way you take care of yourself is what makes you so attractive. 
i see people telling others that you are so naturally pretty and others will have a hard time believing that fact until they see you. i see people stopping and staring at you. you give me “grey sweatpants, pull over, bare face, lips gloss and mascara” typa vibes, but somehow you are still so effortless. how does it feel to be god's favourite, pile 3?😭
i'm also seeing that you might wear these headbands to pull your hair back so it doesn't fall in front of your face and it makes you look so cute because i feel like your headbands have these cute animal doodles or something of that sort. 
many people are curious about you, pile 3. you also have this childlike energy and some people see you as naive and might think of taking advantage of you. please be careful of such people, dear!! they're just soul-suckers. all they care about is exhausting your energy for their benefit. also, one thing i love about you pile 3 is that your emotions are literally shown on your face. someone might say something very stupid and you might try to hide your emotions by putting on a fake smile but before you even know it, you already have a disgusted expression on your face. because of this, many people might be a little scared to talk to you because they feel like you will judge them. many people might think you're mean and full of yourself and that's why they are scared of approaching you.  something about your voice is also very attractive. as mentioned before, people love listening to you talk. you could yap for hours and people would still be on their knees, looking up at you and worshipping you. for them, every word that comes out of your mouth is like a prayer. people are addicted to you, babe.
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hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3
(note: tarot & oracle cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, feelings and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)
જ⁀➴ all credit for the pictures & dividers goes to their rightful owners and creators.
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atlabeth · 7 months ago
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unadulterated loathing (pt 2)
pt 1 / pt 3
pairing: fiyero tigelaar x fem reader
summary: you are forced to partner with fiyero on a history project. things don't go as you imagine.
a/n: sprinkling anthony bridgerton references in this because wreck my plans that's my man!! anyways this is actually going to be 3 parts because i have zero self control and ended up writing 15k words in total and im trying to see whether i like posting parts or doing one whole one shot more so there's going to be a third part. but for once in my writer life i have the whole thing written so it will be out in a couple days! have no idea how this fic became this long out of nowhere but i hope you all enjoy lol. stressed reader x calm bf will always be famous on this blog
wc: 4.9k
warning(s): almost cheating? fiyero is still w/ galinda for most of this so the line is very blurred but they dont cross it lmao. the slightest bit of angst but basically all fluff
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“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero spread his arms out as you took a seat in the grass. Idly, you wondered about getting grass stains out before he started talking again. “Fresh air, actual sunlight, and things to look at other than words on a page.”
“I do go outside,” you said wryly. “You act like I’m some hermit.”
He shrugged. “I only ever see you in class or at the library.”
“I’m just there most of the time,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m not this smart by slacking off.”
Fiyero said your name with surprise. “Was that a joke?”
You laughed again. “Hardly.”
“I think it was,” he nodded. “You really are learning how to have fun.”
“I know how to have fun!” you exclaimed. “We just have different ideas of fun!”
“And what is your idea of fun?” Fiyero asked pointedly. “Studying? Attending class? Going through the intricacies of various languages?”
“That last one is very fun,” you defended. 
“How did you decide on linguistics anyways?” he asked. “You’re incredibly passionate about something I didn’t even know was a major here.”
“It’s not, technically.” You shrugged. “I’m a history major. I just convinced Doctor Dillamond to let me be his teacher’s assistant so I could include more linguistics lessons in the syllabus.”
“How do you do it?” he asked. “Oz— why do you do it? You’re stressed all the time. Surely taking one less class or not being a TA wouldn’t kill you. All of this seems like it is.” 
“I’m not like you, Fiyero,” you said. “I can’t get kicked out of a hundred schools and still be fine. I’ve got one chance, and if I squander it, then I’ve also squandered my dream. And that’s unacceptable to me.”
“There’s always second chances,” he said. “And third ones, too. Sometimes even fourth.” 
“Maybe for a prince,” you laughed. “But not for somebody like me.” 
“And just who are you?” Fiyero asked as he sat down next to you. “I know you’re Gillikinese and I know you’re probably going to succeed in whatever you attempt. But I still feel like I don’t know anything about who you are without the school uniform.” 
“Why does that matter?” you asked defensively. “We’re project partners, not friends.” 
“Because I’d very much like us to be friends,” he answered simply. 
That might have been the most shocking thing he’d said all day. Fiyero Tigelaar, Winkie prince and self-declared slacker and desired paramour of nearly every Shiz student, said he wanted to be your friend. 
Again, that warmth bloomed inside you. You tried to ignore it—tried to fully banish it. 
“Don’t do this,” you said, looking away from him. 
“Do what?”
“Act like you like me,” you said, stronger this time. “You— you do it with everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t do it with me.” 
“I’m not following,” Fiyero said. 
You glared at him. “I know you aren’t this daft.”
“Apologies,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out how you figured I don’t genuinely like you.”
You blinked. “Because you’re you. You flirt with everybody so you can dance through life.”
“Of course,” Fiyero agreed. “It just so happens that I genuinely like you in addition.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Why?”
His laugh was nothing but shocked. “Are you asking me why I like you?”
“Well,” you glanced away with a huff, “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous.” 
“I’ll bite anyways,” Fiyero said. “I like you because you know what you want. You never really stop talking about it, honestly.”
“Are you trying to compliment me?”
“You’re intelligent and driven and you don’t shy away from anything you want,” he continued. “And you thoroughly vex me in near every encounter we have, most joyously.”
“…So you like me because I’m stubborn and confusing,” you said. 
Fiyero sighed. “You‘ve got some serious self esteem issues.”
“I do not!” you exclaimed.
“You’ve tied your worth to your academic achievement,” he said. “You can’t see all the good you’ve already done, how smart you truly are, because you only stress about the next thing you need to do. You’d rather lose your mind over what’s to come than realize all you’ve got in the moment.”
Your mouth opened and closed for a good five seconds, like a fish out of water, before it snapped shut. 
“I thought you were supposed to be brainless,” you settled on. 
“I am,” Fiyero agreed with a chuckle. “But I also know people better than most, and our study sessions have given me ample time to study you.”
Great Oz, why was your face so hot? You felt like you were burning up from the inside out. Fiyero Tigelaar was killing you, and slowly at that. 
“Why are you studying me?” you asked pointedly. 
“Because you’re interesting,” he said. “And very beautiful.”
“Well, I’m— I’m glad we’ve finally reached a truce.” You tried to sound as casual as possible—you couldn’t let Fiyero know the full effect he was beginning to have on you. You didn’t think he would ever shut up about that, and Galinda certainly wouldn’t either. You didn’t want to make an enemy of her. “It’ll make this project much easier.”
“Yes,” Fiyero mused. “I believe it will.”
Amusement, and maybe something warmer, danced in his irises. A very small part of you wanted to let yourself fall, freely and uncaring, just as every other student did. 
You had to lock that part of you away, never to be seen again. You didn’t like Fiyero. He was still a nuisance in every single sense of the word. 
You swallowed, trying to cure your cottonmouth. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. 
You needed to finish this essay immediately. 
-
You sighed when you heard a knock on your door. Coralie, for how smart she was, had a habit of forgetting her room key—so much so that you’d stopped bothering to lock the door on the days she went to class before you. 
“It’s unlocked, Cora!” you called out. You didn’t want to get up from your desk, not when you were in the middle of writing. You were worried that you would lose the thread of inspiration you’d finally caught the moment you got out of your chair. 
“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a familiar voice said. “All sorts of miscreants could get in.” 
Your hand slipped in your shock, but you couldn’t even be annoyed about smearing the fresh ink on the page or getting it on your shirt cuffs because you had more important things to worry about. Namely, your surprise visitor. 
“Fiyero?” 
“Present,” he affirmed as he leaned against your doorframe. “You’ve got a nice place here.”
“Thank you,” you said. “What are you doing here?” 
“Much less pink than Galinda’s,” he continued. “I think it’s the only color she owns, honestly. A bit absurd but—” 
“What are you doing here?” you repeated. 
“I should be asking you that question,” Fiyero said, eyes narrowing in on you. “I went to the library and you weren’t there.” 
You cleared your throat. “I was giving you the day off.” 
He frowned and stood up from the doorframe. “Who said I wanted the day off?” 
“You,” you said. “When you didn’t show up to Doctor Dillamond’s class today.” 
Fiyero brushed his hand through the air. “That’s different.” 
You looked at him expectantly. “So you skipped the class this project is for, but you don’t want to skip the actual project.” 
“That sounds about right, yes.” 
“You don’t even do anything whenever we’re together,” you said. “You just stare at me and complain about doing work and ask me about my life and take an hour to write one page of notes.” 
“That also sounds about right,” Fiyero said. “I enjoy your presence. Do you not enjoy mine?” 
If only he knew the way he’d been making you feel for the past week. He could never know that he appeared in your dream last night. 
“...Your presence is fine,” you said. “I just figured I would give you the day off, seeing as we only have one week left until it’s due.” 
“How much have you written already without me?” he asked. 
“Five pages, but that—” 
“You’ve nearly done half of the project without me?” Fiyero interrupted. 
“...Yes?” Why did you actually feel bad about this? 
Fiyero got closer so he could look over your shoulder at your work, and you found yourself holding your breath at his proximity. 
“Do you think you’re doing me a favor?” 
“Clearly,” you said. “The sooner it’s done, the sooner it’s over, and the sooner you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” You shrugged. “You said you wanted to ride my coattails anyways, so I figured I would make it easier for you.” 
“Just a few days ago you were chastising me for not doing my part,” Fiyero said. “Now you’re not even letting me try?” 
“I—” the words stuck in your throat, and again you felt your face heat. 
I don’t want to have to think about any of this more than I have to because I’m worried what I’ll realize. 
I don’t want to give you any more chances to take me off course because I know I’ll say yes. 
I don’t want to be around you longer than I have to because I think I’m starting to like you. 
“Yes?” 
“I am doing you a favor,” you finally decided. “You don’t have to worry about it. Go ride that horse of yours, or bother other students, or spend time with Galinda. You’ve earned it.” 
“Hardly,” Fiyero said. “I’m doing my part, whether you like it or not. We’ll meet at the library tomorrow morning before class like we’ve been doing.” 
“I have class at 8 in the morning tomorrow.” 
“...Then we’ll do it after class,” he reneged. “I do need my beauty sleep.” 
That got a smile out of you, which spurned one from Fiyero in turn. “I think that is one of the only genuine smiles you’ve given me since we started working together.” 
“I smile plenty,” you insisted. 
“At your books,” Fiyero said. “Not at me.” 
“That’s because my books are oh-so-beautiful,” you said. “And they don’t even need beauty sleep.”
He placed his hand on his heart. “You wound me.” 
Your smile grew and you set your pen down. “The library after class?” 
Fiyero nodded and tapped on your desk as he stood up. “Library after class.” 
He was about to go to the door when Coralie poked her head in. “Why is the door— oh! Fiyero!” She straightened up, plastering on a pretty smile as she stepped inside. “What brings you to our corner of Shiz?” 
“Doctor Dillamond’s midterm,” he said. “Your roommate here is trying to save all of the fun for herself.” 
“That sounds like her,” Cora nodded sagely. “You’re very good to try and keep her from that fate.”
Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest. “I consider it my duty. But I apologize for the intrusion—I’ll leave the two of you be.”
“Oh, stay as long as you want,” she spoke up. “I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind.”
“He’s got things to do,” you interceded. “You’ve got things to do, Fiyero.”
He smiled knowingly. “I certainly do. You lovely ladies have a fine rest of your day.” He looked at you and said your name. “Don’t forget tomorrow.”
“How could I?” you said weakly. 
Fiyero chuckled and bowed his head in lieu of more parting words. The second he left, Cora turned to you with wide eyes. 
“Don’t,” you warned. 
“He came here to talk to you!” she exclaimed. “He found out your room number because he wanted to talk to you!” 
“Be quiet!” you exclaimed. “The door is still open—he can probably hear your screeching!”
Coralie shut the door and squealed. “He likes you!”
“We are project partners,” you enunciated. “Nothing more.” 
“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you think,” she said. “Just like I’m sure that he wants to be more.” 
“You’re acting like he isn’t with Galinda,” you said. “She controls this whole school—do you remember what happened to Elphaba when she didn’t like her?” 
Cora shrugged. “Sure. But I’ve been hearing there’s trouble in paradise.” 
That got you paying attention. “What?” 
“I knew it!” Coralie exclaimed—nearly yelled, honestly. “I knew you liked him!” 
“Be quiet!” you whisper-yelled. “Oz, what is wrong with you?” 
“I knew you liked him!” she repeated. “And he likes you— oh, it is too perfect!” 
“He does not like me,” you insisted, “and you are crazy.” 
“You didn’t say that you didn’t like him,” Coralie sung, and you screwed your eyes shut. 
“Fine!” you finally said. “Fine— I like him. Will you stop now?”
“Of course not,” she said, and you sighed. “How bad do you have it?”
“I don’t have it bad,” you scoffed. “I just— I enjoy spending time with him. And I think he’s kind of cute.” 
“Oh, you are full on head over heels,” she mused. “You just don’t know it. It’s okay.” 
You groaned as you buried your head in your hands. “I hate you.” 
She laughed. “And you like Fiyero.” 
“Shut up.” Your words were muffled, but you meant them all the same. 
You were comically doomed. 
-
The next day went… shockingly smooth. 
Fiyero was in the library when he said he’d be—he was even there before you, much to your surprise and he still had the notebook and pen you’d given him, much to his surprise. He made sure to bring an extra canteen of water for you, because he noticed you never had any with you. You were probably concerningly dehydrated. 
He tried to be a more attentive student to you than he’d ever been at any of his classes—not that that was difficult. You explained your outline and all the work you’d already done, what he could do on the last five pages and how to make his writing voice match yours to make a consistent paper. 
He wrote notes both on what you knew about Ilara Mayfair (a ridiculous amount, in his opinion) and anything else you thought he needed to know (also a ridiculous amount).
He was impressed most of all, though. No wonder you’d isolated yourself from near the entire student body and stressed over every letter in every sentence in every assignment. You were incredibly intelligent, but you were also able to explain everything in a way that even he understood. Fiyero had never really cared about… well, anything relating to school before he ended up partners with you. 
But now, Fiyero found himself surprisingly entranced by it all. He’d always liked your voice, and he had a permanent smile on his lips watching you talk so easily about your passions. It put a spark in your eye and a brightness about you that was usually bogged down by everything else that you stressed about. 
You were beautiful, especially when you were happy. And Fiyero had discovered over the past week that you were happiest when you got to talk about what you cared about to an interested audience. He only regretted acting like he wasn’t interested for so long. 
Finally, when Fiyero called a break on account of his hands aching (he’d never written this much in his life, and it still was only half of what you did basically every day), and you were eating an apple (that he also brought, because you really didn’t take care of yourself when you were doing work, which was always), he smiled at you. 
“You know, we really do make a good team,” Fiyero said. 
You swallowed the bite of apple you had in your mouth and cocked your head as you looked at him. “You think?” 
“I know,” he nodded. “You’ve done the impossible, darling. You’ve actually made me care about school.” 
“Well, I think you’ve done the impossible too.” You lifted the apple up. “You made me care about my health during midterms season.” 
“It certainly wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. “You kind of took it all kicking and screaming.”
You shrugged. “I’m not top of our class for nothing.” 
“Do you have to stress yourself into misery to be top of the class?” he asked. 
“I’m not miserable,” you retorted. 
It was when you said things like that that Fiyero really began to worry about you. It was part of the reason he was so intent on staying by your side through this whole project—no matter how dull he found the material—after the first session. He sometimes saw you around campus, usually carrying a stack of books or talking with your roommate.
After Fiyero was paired with you, he wondered why he didn’t see you more before it all, considering how active you were with literally everything school-wise. Then he realized you were likely always in the library, and the only time he’d visited the library was on Galinda’s tour. You were there, well enough, but you took your leave as soon as things started getting rowdy. 
A shame, he realized. He wondered what your relationship could have been had Galinda not staked her claim on him so soon. 
You weren’t going to take care of yourself, clearly enough, so Fiyero decided—at least for the duration of this project—that he would. It didn’t really matter if you were top of the class if you passed out from stress, exhaustion, annoyance, or a mix of all three. Likely a mix of all three. 
He didn’t really anticipate those feelings morphing into genuine affection. 
“I seem to recall you saying you dream of your future assignments,” Fiyero said, coming out of his thoughts. “That doesn’t sound like the habit of a happy person.”
“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Everybody has stress dreams.” 
“You know, I really don’t think they do,” Fiyero said. 
You rolled your eyes as you picked your pen up with your free hand and jotted down a few more sentences. “Sure.”
“On that note,” he said, “why don’t we call it a day?”
“We can’t call it a day,” you said. You took another bite from your apple and swallowed, continuing to write all the while without looking at him. “We’re not finished yet.”
“That is the most casually you’ve said that so far,” Fiyero mused. “I really am making progress.”
You laughed, finally paying him mind. “Progress with what?”
“I’ve been tracking your smiles and laughs this whole time,” he said. “See, this essay was your project, but that was mine—trying to make you enjoy your life.”
“This essay is both of our projects, Fiyero,” you said. “Besides, I don’t think Doctor Dillamond will accept your bar graph of all the times I laughed at you making a fool of yourself.” You frowned. “Or would it be a line graph because it’s over time? Or maybe it could be—”
“Alright,” he interrupted. “You’re going into hypotheticals on my joke. That’s clearly the sign that we need to call it a day.”
“…Fine,” you reneged. “But it’s just a break, not calling it a day. And I get to finish proofreading the rest of the essay when we get back.”
“A compromise,” Fiyero said. “Love it.”
You rolled your eyes as you started gathering your things. “You love everything.” 
“Eh,” he tilted his head, and you felt his eyes on you. “Most things.” 
You couldn’t help your smile, much as you tried to bite it back. “Whatever.” 
Soon enough, you and Fiyero were sitting together by the dock. You let your legs dangle over as you watched the scenery around campus—the ripple of the water, the gentle brush of the wind, the chirping birds that flew around without a care.
“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero asked. He also had his legs over the edge, but he’d laid down against the stone. 
“You don’t have to push your relaxation propaganda so hard anymore,” you said wryly. “I’m here, aren’t I?” 
“And I’m grateful for it,” he said. “Someone that works as hard as you do deserves to relax the same amount.” 
“We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”
“I know,” he interrupted. He turned his head to smile at you. “I just have to hope that some of it sticks.” 
You rolled your eyes, once again unable to hide your smile. “And I have to hope for the same with this paper. Do you think you’ll remember any of this once we turn it in?”
“Oh, but of course. You were the one to teach it to me, after all. I could hardly forget it all.” 
“Good,” you said. “Everyone should know about Ilara Mayfair.” 
Fiyero chuckled, and you once again fell into comfortable silence. 
That was the thing that shocked you the most, you think. Not that you were beginning to like Fiyero, or that you actually liked Fiyero, or that you actually looked forward to spending time with him. It was that you were so comfortable just sitting with him in silence. 
It was very difficult to get to the silence, though. Fiyero couldn’t really stay quiet, and you didn’t know if he liked talking or the sound of his own voice. But you found it didn’t really annoy you like it used to. 
Great Oz. You really were into him. How embarrassing. 
Eventually, when the strain in your wrists and fingers from writing had finally faded, you turned your head to look at Fiyero. “I think it’s time we go back.”
He sighed. “Already?” 
“It’s been fifteen minutes,” you said. “Far longer than the breaks I usually take.” 
He opened his mouth, likely to say something of the same ‘you need to relax’ ilk, but you held up your hand. “Don’t. Just be thankful you got me away for this long.” 
Fiyero smiled, and he pulled himself up off the ground. “I always am.” 
He held his hand out, and you stared at him for a moment. “Why do you always do that?” 
“Help you up?” 
You nodded. “I can do it myself.” 
He shrugged. “I told you it was my project to make your life easier.” 
“You said it was your project to track my happiness,” you said. 
“And they go hand in hand,” he said. “I’m surprised you remember.” 
“It happened thirty minutes ago, Fiyero,” you said wryly. “Besides, I remember everything. It’s a gift.” 
Fiyero laughed, and you finally took his hand. He pulled you up and once again, you tumbled a bit too close—and again, his hand fell to your waist. He had to be doing this on purpose by now. 
“We keep finding ourselves in this position,” Fiyero mused. 
Heat flooded your cheeks like usual. “And whose fault is that?” 
“Well,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re not exactly pulling away.” 
Your mouth opened, trying to think of what words to say when your head was reeling from his mere presence. But then you saw a flash of pink in the background, and your eyes darted away from Fiyero. 
Galinda. She was distracted, talking with Pfannee and Shenshen as she went down the stairs. Oz, how did she slip your mind so easily whenever Fiyero was in your proximity? Why did you let him get this close when he was spoken for? 
You panicked—nothing less. You tore out of Fiyero’s grasp with a bit too much gumption, and then you stumbled, then you slipped, and then you fell. Fiyero called your name in shock, reaching his hand out, but it was too late. You’d plunged into the water before you could save yourself. 
The cold water instantly shocked all your senses, your eyes widening as you gasped out on instinct. Your mouth filled with water and your muscles seized up from the change in temperature—it was so much deeper than you’d imagined, and all your layers of clothing weighing you down were of no use. 
You tried your damnedest to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head as you fought against yourself, finally gathering the sense to swim. You kicked your way up to the top, gasping for air once when you breached the surface. 
You heard Fiyero yell your name again and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear the water from your eyes. When everything finally came into focus, you saw him on his knees, his coat shed and his sleeves rolled up. 
His eyes were wide as he reached his hand out, once again saying your name—this time with a certain desperation. “Are you alright?”
You tried to respond but all you could do was cough, trying to expel the water from your lungs. You took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the dock, where an exhale shuddered out of you.
“I— I am so sorry,” he stammered. It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered, and you were too busy hacking up a lung to point it out. “Obviously I didn’t think—”
You held up your hand in lieu of saying something, as you didn’t think you could say something. 
This was so stupid, and it was something that never would have happened before you and Fiyero started working together. Your paper was due in two days, you’d only just finished the draft, you still had so much proofreading and rewriting to do, and instead, you were here on the docks soaked to the bone. 
And you found yourself laughing. 
“Oh, Oz,” Fiyero said. “You’ve lost it.” 
You couldn’t refute it, because you kept laughing. You could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, could hear them whispering to each other—likely making fun of you—and it only made you laugh harder. 
“Are—” Fiyero chuckled nervously as he said your name, “are you okay?” 
“I’m soaked,” you got out through your laughs. “And everyone saw me fall into the water. I’m a fool, Fiyero!” 
He was still staring at you in that careful way, as if you were made of glass. “I can’t tell if you’re mad or not.” 
“Oh, Fiyero.” You wiped the trailing water off of your face and wrapped your arms around him. You felt him freeze beneath you for the slightest moment—it had to have been the last thing he expected you to do. “Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome.” Fiyero returned the hug, his movements still unsure. He didn’t seem to care that you were getting him wet, just about your wellbeing. “What— what for, exactly?” 
For a moment, you couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were meant to enrapture, his soft lips typically an invitation sealed with a smirk. But for once, Fiyero looked genuine—he wasn’t putting on a performance, or trying to seduce anyone who looked at him. He was genuinely sorry, genuinely confused. It only made you laugh again.
“What for, indeed.” A higher voice pierced through the air, and you separated from Fiyero immediately. Galinda, to no surprise, had found her way over to the chaos you’d created, her compatriots flanking her on either side. She smiled at you brightly, but her whole demeanor was like a violin string pulled taut. 
“Galinda,” Fiyero said. “Lovely to see you.” He didn’t seem half as shocked as you at her appearance, but his words fell flat. 
“And you as well, dearest.” Her smile turned sickly sweet as she shifted her attention to Fiyero momentarily, taking the opportunity to lace her fingers with his and pull him into a kiss. He pulled away first, but if it affected Galinda, she didn’t let it show when she looked back at you. She batted her eyelashes as she said your name incorrectly. “What was it you were saying?” 
The sudden combination of cottonmouth and sour guilt creeping up your throat didn’t really help your already flustered state. She knew what she was doing—but you did too, didn’t you? 
She was with Fiyero. You knew that. And though Fiyero danced across the line, you took his hand every time he offered. 
“I—” you cleared your throat, attempting a casual smile of your own. “Just that I know why Doctor Dillamond put us together.”
“Excellent,” Fiyero said. “Off-topic, but excellent— are you sure you didn’t hit your head down there?” 
“Perhaps you should go to the nurse,” Galinda said. “I’m sure Shenshen could—” 
“I’ll be fine,” you interrupted, your smile tightening ever so slightly. You looked at Fiyero. “Meet me at the library tonight, and bring coffee. We’re finishing this project tonight. 
“Of course,” he nodded.  
You nodded as well, and you started to go. Galinda’s gaze was sugary sweet poison, and you couldn’t take the weight of it anymore. 
“Wait,” Fiyero spoke up. 
You stopped against your better judgment, and he let go of Galinda’s hand to take his jacket off. He moved closer to you and wrapped it around you. His touch, light but certain, lingered on your shoulders once he’d finished adjusting it, and his gaze stayed on yours 
“Until you can change,” he said. 
“...Thank you,” you said. 
Galinda cleared her throat extremely loudly, her taut smile back. You remembered yourself and stepped away from Fiyero. 
“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, already starting on your way. You wouldn’t let him stop you again. 
“Tonight,” he agreed, bowing his head in parting. 
You only glanced back once you were by the stairs. When you did, you saw Galinda speaking rapidly to Fiyero—you were too far away to hear anything, but she didn’t look happy. When your gaze drifted to him, you found he was already looking at you. Almost subconsciously, you tugged his jacket tighter around you. When you realized what you were doing, you stopped. You averted your eyes immediately and hurried up the stairs. 
You weren’t out of breath from exertion. 
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lilianne-tarot · 4 months ago
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⋆.˚PICK A CARD: "What Are They Really Feeling About You" ⋆.˚
˚    ✦   .  .  ˚ .      . ✦
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I. II. III.
˚    ✦   .  .  ˚ .      . ✦
Hey there, loves! Welcome to another PAC reading on my blog page. I hope you all enjoy it! Comment down what you felt about the reading and if it resonated with you and please show some love, Your support means everything to me! <3
P.S: I tried to write this reading as a message from your desired person, but it ended up becoming a message from your partner (if you are in a relationship) or a situationship if you are in one.
How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images below. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you, go ahead and read both!
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˚    ✦   .  .  ˚ .      . ✦
⋆✮ Pile I
Cards Pulled: 3 of pentacles, the hermit, knight off swords, 4 of cups, page of pentacles, Uranus, and oracle cards
This reading is soo adorable sjsdhhobxckvc😭😍
Bestie... this person is down bad for you. And the more calm and collected you are, The more it drives them wild (and confused 😭).They just want to figure you out. To meet you where you are. And maybe, just maybe... be enough for you.
Okay SO... you have probably met them during a major shift in your life like something big had just changed, could also be unexpected change, or you were stepping outside of your comfort zone. It could be things related to career stuff, work placements, school, college, internships, basically somewhere tied to your goals or a professional life where you were pushing yourself.
They see you as “THAT” person!!!!. Like seriously, they think you’re the epitome of structure, elegance, and unshakable composure, to them, you are the standard. I’ seeing that most of yall are introverts. About them, I’m also seeing that they’re obsessed with how serious you look when you're concentrating LOLL. 
This person, Oh honey, they are also soooo ambitious and determined in general, but when it comes to YOU, They’re reckless in the best way possible. Like “I don’t care if I make a-fool of myself, I just want to be yours” reckless (SOMEONE GIVE ME TISSUEEE). They view you as this beam of perfection, someone who always strives for the best and thrives in systems and routines, prolly a virgo. Meanwhile, they’re probably a little chaotic inside like, “How does this angel even function so perfectly all the time?”😭😭
But in reality, behind that facade of perfection, you stress yourself too much, right? cuz they notice it too. They notice that when things don’t go your way, you might panic a lot. And they’re like, “Wow... even their breakdowns are elegant.” LMAO I’m not even kidding.
On the bright side, they see you as someone above them in experience or confidence or maturity. There’s a real student/mentor, or junior/senior vibe here, not literally. They lowkey look up to you. Maybe they’re younger in age, or maybe they just feel way more inexperienced compared to your level. Also, this feels very much like a professional connection. There’s a respect, a formality, kind of dynamic. So again, work or college, or while you were doing your thing. 
Emotionally though, OH BABY. They are in their feelings. Deeply. Like they feel this soulmate-level connection with you. They feel this spiritual bond with you, like you complete them. BUT They also think you’re super introverted (even if you’re not!), and it throws them off. They're over here trying to pour their whole heart out, like "take it, it's yours!" Meanwhile you’re just sitting there like 🧍 “hmm okay but what does this mean?”  “Why won’t they just say they love me the way I want to hear it?” vs “Why are they saying so much at once I need to process???”
You might not realize it, but they feel like you're not as expressive or emotionally certain as they are. They want to you to express yourself to them, whatever you feel, but they feel like you're still calculating the water temperature 
Despite all this They hold you in very high regard. They don’t even think they’re worthy of your love tbh. They’re like “I could never meet those standards ”  and that’s where the self-doubt kicks in. But, they’re still ready to risk it all for you. Like, consequences be damned! This person is on a mission to build a bond with you, even if the odds feel stacked against them.
They’re rushing. Reckless. Emotional. And terrified. They want you RIGHT NOW. And the idea that you might not love them back the same way is Devastating ot them. And because of that, they try to match your vibe, mature, calm, composed, but inside they're EXPLODING. They think you’re so perfect, so ideal, that they’re trying everything to charm you. Like everything. Subtle flirting, random compliments, charming little jokes, they’re throwing it all at the wall to see what sticks.
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────୨ৎ────
˙⋆✮ Pile II
Cards Pulled: 5 of pentacles, the hermit, 8 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, Gemini and oracle cards
I can already feel the heaviness of this connection.😭
Your person are not as emotionally invested anymore or at least, not in the same way. NOW don’t get me wrong here, cuz this DOESN’T mean they are loosing feelings. They are just in a phase where they are thinking “I need to move on for my own growth”. They’re kinda checked out emotionally, sure. And if they’re still in this relationship, they’re questioning whether it’s truly right for them, atleast at the moment.
What I’m getting is that they feel like this thing might not be working,  like it’s just not aligning anymore. They’re looking at it like: “This isn’t helping me grow. This might even be holding me back.” And so... they’re walking away. Not out of hatred. Not even out of anger. But out of emotional self-preservation. For their own sake. And the worst part is, you can’t even blame them for this. 
Right now, they’re turning to themselves. Focusing on themselves. Working on themself. They're in full-on Hermit mode. They’re putting effort into rebuilding their life, mostly about their career or goals in life. BUT what I'm seeing about you all is that y'all are feeling hella suspicious right now. Like, “Are they cheating on me? Is there something I don’t know? Why do I feel like something’s off?” And tbh... I don’t blame y'all for thinking that.
Because i can hear spirits telling me, "be cautious my dear, because not everything is what it seems". Gemini also popped up, It’s a sign that gets associated with duality, sometimes masking intentions, and yes, even lying at times. So it’s no surprise that you are overthinking mind is going crazy. You feel like something sneaky is going on behind the scenes. And the fact that this person is emotionally withdrawing only amplifies those fears.
BUT here's the thing...From what I’m picking up, I don’t think it’s about cheating. I think it’s about distance. Like... your person still likes you (well only for some of you tho). Maybe even still LOVES you.So they can’t just cut that cord so easily. They’re still longing to look into your eyes, for hours. They’re obsessed in a very soft way. But they also feel like time is slipping through their fingers. They’re standing at a crossroads like: “Do I follow this pull toward my future and personal success? Or do I stay in this connection that means so much to me emotionally but feels like it's hampering my success?” They’re not trying to hurt anyone, they’re just trying to figure out why their heart is being so dramatic. BUT your person is also strong-willed AF. When they want something, they go for it. They’re determined and fearless to get it. But now they’re in uncharted territory, because they’ve never felt this deeply before. Like... ever.
They see you as the GOAT. The greatest person they’ve ever known. 💖 They know this kind of connection doesn’t come around twice. But the problem is, they also know that if they stay too long without healing or clarity, it might sabotage their own future. Their dreams. Their growth. Their purpose. So they’re stuck in this mental tug-of-war: “I love them. I don’t want to lose them.” vs. “But what about my goals, my future, my expansion?” I’m also seeing, changes, disruption, and soul-searching across distance, beliefs, or even higher learning paths. This person is questioning everything. And they might even be considering leaving physically, traveling, moving, or shifting away to find clarity. 
They don’t hate you, my dear. They’re not trying to break your heart. That would be the last thing they would imagine. The fact is, actually, They’re just... overwhelmed. They’re scared they’ll get so attached that they’ll lose themselves. So instead of staying and drowning, they’re pulling back to breathe and figure out who they are again.
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˙⋆✮ Pile III
Cards Pulled: wheel of fortune, 9 of cups, The devil, death, the star, pieces, venus, and oracle cards
SO MANY MAJOR ARCANA CARDS IN ONE?!?!?!? That too, such big ones💀💀💀and the only minor arcana is also soo powerful and one of my favs. The order in which the cards were laid out is so dramatic and exciting!!!(*rubs hands aggressively*)
This pile is literally every synonym of love😭🥹 ( uhm...maybe obsession and some drama too) Before anything else i'll put it here, if you're unsure or wondering if this person likes you? THEY DO. THEY DO. THEY FCKN DO.
Words can’t even begin to express how intensely this person is feeling on the inside. Like... their emotions they are feeling because of you Are on another level. They feel this incredibly fated connection with you, one that’s deeply transformative, nurturing, and honestly, It feels like their biggest wish has come true. You’re that person for them. To the point where they literally can’t control themselves. There’s this obsessive, magnetic undercurrent to it all, and yes, sexual tension is very much in the room with us right now 🫠. They’re like, “Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I stop thinking about them??” But they can’t even find the words. The connection is hitting so hard, it’s beyond logic. It’s just feeling.
This is giving BIG Venus-in-Water-signs energy. Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces vibes all over. Either you or them (or both) probably have strong water energy in your chart, or you just feel like a water sign, super deep, intuitive, romantic, and soft but intense at the same time. They feel like you’re the one nurturing them. And this connection is unlike anything they’ve ever experienced before. It’s the kind of emotional attraction that feels so healing, but also terrifying. Like... “this is so good it has to be bad, right??”  (but they want it anyway). They literally can’t stop thinking about you. And being in this connection, being with you, is everything. Like, EVERYTHING. Their entire existence is starting to revolve around it.
The intensity of love, emotions and obsession they feel for you Unmatched. It’s honestly overwhelming for them. They feel out of control, and yet... they want to pour every ounce of their soul into this. Because this is something they manifested. Something they dreamed of. You are the person they feel they could never let go of.
Now, real talk, there’s a strong obsessive vibe here too. Some of y’all might not vibe with that energy, and that’s valid!! But this isn’t just a toxic obsession; this is that deep Pluto kind that leads to massive emotional transformation. But don’t be fooled, this person isn’t always this intense. They’re actually very, very sweet. Almost like honey.  And funny enough, that’s exactly how they see you.T o them, you’re like a piece of art they’re lucky to even look at. They admire you. Worship you.. And they just want to hold you forever, like literally never let go. They want to surrender to this connection fully. And they have already surrendered themselves to you already.
And here’s the best part is, even they can’t believe what they’re doing or feeling. They're like, "Who even am I right now??" They’re in awe of your grace, your magnetism, your aura. You feel so “lethal” to them, but in the most beautiful way. Everything about this connection feels brand new to them. The emotions. The pull. The obsession. The beauty. It’s like tasting a flavor they didn’t know existed. It’s nurturing, healing, and intoxicating all at once. Sometimes, they genuinely feel like they're doing something wrong, like they shouldn’t be this into someone. And they try to pull away. But the feeling? That nurturing warmth you radiate? They can’t leave. They won’t let go. They feel like you are their karma, like everything they’ve done in life led them to you. They know this deep within that “What I seeded is what I now receive.” They truly believe you are the fruit of that karma. The divine reward for all their past efforts. You’re their gift from the universe. And losing you is not an option for them. Not even a thought. There’s this fierce need to protect you. Yes, there’s physical desire and all the fiery sexual tension, but underneath it all There’s this soft, delicate devotion. Like “wrap you in a blanket and make you soup forever” kind of love.
They see you as their emotional support. The missing piece in their soul. There’s a part of them that’s always felt incomplete, a heart half-full kind of ache. And you? You’re filling that cup. You’re not just healing them, you’re healing wounds they didn’t even know they had (and you never even caused them in the first place).
They describe you in their mind as honey. The sweetness. The softness. The warmth. The comfort. And they want to protect that at all costs. They don’t see themselves letting you go. They already see a future with you. And honestly? They might already be planning it. (Don’t be surprised if they’ve imagined you two picking out curtains together).
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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog ,it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡
Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!
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cuntyji · 5 months ago
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THE FOOL’S GUIDE TO ROMANCE ౨ৎ GETO SUGURU X READER
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synopsis: when a man loves a woman, he might bring her flowers or send a sweet text like 'i want you lol.' but if you’re suguru geto, you let a deck of tarot cards decide your destiny—and promptly shuffle your way into misery. hopelessly in love with you (and equally hopeless at expressing it), geto takes his shot which backfires spectacularly, leaving you heartbroken and him scrambling to fix it. now, armed with charm, determination, and way too many tarot cards, geto is ready to heal your heart. just watch your step—the floor’s basically a tarot card crime scene.
content warnings: female reader, suggestive content (alcohol consumption and mentions of weed), crack and romance, somewhat axed [happy] ending, college setting, geto is into tarot, strangers to lovers, he fell first she fell harder, frat parties and other college nonsense. other characters: choso, yuki, gojo, nanami, shiu, toji. 
author's note: all my love to my darling @nkopurin who helped proofread this fic for me 💘💐 and to my lovely @norikuna and @baepsays, this is for you 🙂‍↕️ lovely themed dividers are courtesy of @thecutestgrotto <3
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READ ON AO3
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when a man loves a woman, he brings her flowers and confesses his love to her. or, if he’s born in the modern world, he might just text her something eloquent like, “hey, i want you lol.” but if you’re suguru geto, you let tarot cards take the wheel—literally. 
allow one to explain.
see, geto isn’t exactly an atheist. he believes in higher powers, just unconventional ones. namely, the cheapest tarot deck he impulse-bought during a 2 a.m. existential crisis. initially, he thought it was all nonsense until he pulled a random card one day, and boom—it was the tower. later that week, his microwave exploded. 
from then on, he never questioned the cards again.
fast-forward to now: geto has become a full-blown tarot enthusiast. not only does he offer readings for spare cash (because be so for real right now, enlightenment isn’t free), but he also uses the cards to make most of his decisions. thinking of switching shampoo brands? better pull a card. deciding between ramen or sushi for dinner? the hanged man says to wait and order nothing—oops, now he’s just hungry. naturally, he consults the cards for the big things too—like love. and this is where you come in.
he met you at the library. a rom-com-level meet-cute where you helped him pick up the stack of books he’d dropped because he was too busy arguing with a ten of swords card about whether his day was ruined or just mildly inconvenient. from that moment on, you became his muse, his star (literally, he pulled that card the next day and nearly fainted). but here’s the catch: geto doesn’t just pine over you in the normal way. no, no. every interaction with you has to be sanctioned by the cards first.
want to say hi? better shuffle the deck and see if the lovers comes up. want to ask you out? he needs at least the sun for good vibes and the two of cups for confirmation. unfortunately, his last reading told him to “embrace patience” because the hermit popped up—twice. 
to his credit, geto is fully committed to this tarot lifestyle. he even gets creative with the interpretations. one time, the cards said he’d encounter a "pig," which he thought meant an actual pet pig was coming his way. turns out, it was just pork belly ramen.  but let’s get back to you. every time he sees you, he tries to decipher what the cards are trying to tell him. are you his queen of cups, emotionally available and empathetic? or are you secretly the high priestess, hiding mysteries he’s yet to uncover? (spoiler: you’re just a normal person trying to borrow a book, but he doesn’t know that.)
but let’s take a moment to shift focus from our friendly neighborhood king of wands (that’s geto, by the way, for the tarot illiterate) and zero in on you. because, bless your heart, you’ve got no time for the mystical nonsense of divination.
it’s not that you hate tarot or people who swear by it. it’s just… it’s never worked for you. every time a flower-crown-wearing oracle pops up on your fyp, telling you to “like, comment, and share this reading so the universe will bless you with abundance and good fortune,” you do it. and guess what? the universe does not bless you. no windfall of cash, no twin flame reunion, and absolutely no lucky day on the horizon. instead, you’re stuck in a perpetual cycle of disappointment and thinking, am i cursed? or is this just capitalism?
so, when you bump into a guy muttering about the ten of swords in the college library, the sheer absurdity of the moment almost makes you laugh out loud. you help him pick up his books from the floor (because you’re not a monster), all while internally rolling your eyes. who even takes tarot this seriously? your brain whispers. but hey, it’s not like you’re ever going to see this weirdo again, right?
wrong.
enter the house party. directed by none other than the notorious gojo satoru, who probably pulled the fool for party planning and ran with it. naturally, the entire student body is there, including you, begrudgingly clutching a cup of what is probably alcohol but tastes like regret. you’re halfway through debating whether it’s worth sticking around when you spot him. yes, him. the library lad. and if you thought he was strange before, tonight he’s decked out in what can only be described as a “witchy” fit, complete with crystal necklaces and the kind of rings that scream don’t ask me about my birth chart unless you’re ready for a dissertation.
you’re just about to turn and flee when, of course, he spots you. he lights up like the sun card upright, and you can see the moment he decides to approach. fantastic. this is your life now. “hey,” he says, and you can tell he’s trying to act cool. “do you believe in fate?”
oh, for the love of—
“no,” you deadpan, taking a sip of your regret juice. “but i do believe in bad luck, which is what brought me here tonight.” he laughs, and to your horror, it’s kinda cute. “well, maybe that’s just the wheel of fortune turning. what goes down must come up.”
you raise an eyebrow. “is that tarot-speak for ‘this party sucks’?”
“more like, ‘the spirits sent me here for a reason,’” he replies, holding up a deck of tarot cards like they’re his personal VIP pass. you groan, wondering if this is punishment for every time you ignored those scammy fyp readings. the universe works in mysterious (and frankly annoying) ways.
-
first off, geto would like to dedicate this evening’s award for “biggest asshole” to his childhood friend and eternal tormentor, gojo satoru, who claimed this was a fancy dress party. yes, fancy dress. not a house party. and like an idiot, geto believed him. hence the ensemble: the crystal necklaces, the dramatic rings, the black turtleneck that screamed “mystical bachelor #1.” he looked like halloween and a witch convention had a messy breakup and he was the collateral damage. and the kicker? the tarot cards stuffed into his bag. because apparently, those were his ticket into this party. gojo had threatened—no, promised—that he’d bar geto from entering his own damn best friend’s party unless he showed up prepared to do discounted tarot readings. because nothing screams “good fortune” like drunken frat boys demanding to know their future while spilling beer on your king of pentacles.
but before geto can fully spiral into regret, he spots you. you, across the room, holding a red solo cup like it’s your last lifeline in a sea of chaos. suddenly, the LED strip lights above seem to beam down like the sun on its brightest spring day, and he’s pretty sure he hears birds chirping (which is actually just gojo’s bose speaker blasting some god-awful remix). in this moment, geto feels something he hasn’t felt in a while: hope.
then he opens his mouth.
“the spirits sent me here for a reason,” he blurts out, voice brimming with… what’s the opposite of confidence? panic? regret? whatever it is, it’s not working.
he sees your eyebrow twitch. not raise—twitch. your eyes dart everywhere but at him, and he feels the metaphorical ten of swords stab his pride, one blade at a time. internally, his brain is screaming: really? “the spirits”? you couldn’t think of anything cooler? oh my god, you’re a loser. loser, loser, loser.
before he can even try to recover from the self-inflicted verbal disaster, the karaoke mic crackles to life, and a familiar voice echoes through the room. “geto suguru, report to the center hall!” gojo’s voice booms, loud and obnoxious. “your clients are waiting, my guy!”
clients? oh no.
geto freezes. you glance at him, your expression hovering somewhere between pity and mild secondhand embarrassment. internally, he’s spiraling: clients!? oh great. perfect. now i get to embarrass myself in front of you and half the drunk population of campus.
“don’t keep us waiting, mr. magician!” gojo cackles, clearly delighted with himself. geto trudges toward the center of the room, tarot cards in hand, sending a silent prayer to the universe: dear spirits, if you’re real, strike gojo down with lightning. or at least make him choke on his stupid mic cord. please. but no lightning comes. only more LED lights and the weight of his own humiliation.
the music screeched to an abrupt halt, cutting off mid-beat to usher in what gojo dramatically called “the immersive experience.” 
immersive, my ass, geto thought bitterly, sneaking a glare at his white-haired tormentor. to make matters worse, gojo was now skulking over by the speaker, queuing up redbone by childish gambino, apparently convinced it was the anthem for “spooky tarot vibes.” geto’s fingers itched to throw the nearest ashtray at gojo’s ridiculously smug face but, alas, violence would have to wait. he had a job to do, courtesy of said smug face.
as he settled at the glorified low-rise table-turned-“dias,” he noticed a mix of amused faces, skeptical stares, and outright curiosity from the crowd. and among them, there was you. hovering near the edge, arms crossed, your expression was a mix of intrigue and i’m too cool for this but let’s see what happens anyway. and because geto was both cursed and stupid, he immediately started overthinking: wait, why are you here? are you here to judge me? no, that’s dumb. maybe you’re into tarot. oh god, what if you’re into tarot? does that make us soulmates? focus, suguru.
“first victim—i mean guest, is… nanamiiinnn kenntoooo!” gojo’s voice boomed through the mic, dragging geto out of his internal spiral. and lo and behold, it was nanami himself. 
nanami kento, aka mr. ‘i-wear-a-suit-to-class,’ the guy who looked like he’d walked straight out of a finance magazine and into a frat party by accident. the fact that nanami was even here was baffling, but rumor had it he helped budget this whole thing. (which explained the alcohol tasting suspiciously cheap, considering half the budget went into walnuts being served as snacks.) he approached the table like he was heading into a board meeting, eyes sharp, posture straighter than an arrow. the man looked ready to audit geto’s soul. 
as nanami sat down for his reading, his usual stoic expression firmly in place, geto shuffled the deck with practiced ease. “to make this as accurate as possible,” geto began, trying to match nanami’s serious tone, “it’s best if you touch the deck briefly. it helps with energy transfer.”
nanami raised a skeptical eyebrow but reached out, his hand hovering over the cards for a moment before he placed two fingers lightly on the top of the deck. the touch was so precise and deliberate that it looked more like he was testing the temperature of a cup of tea than connecting with his fate. geto suppressed a grin. “wow, nanami, really channeling all that emotional investment.”
“i don’t make a habit of emotionally investing in cards,” nanami replied dryly, retracting his hand. “if this reading goes poorly, i’ll hold you accountable, not the deck.”
“well, if the spirits hear that,” geto quipped, starting to lay the cards out, “they’re going to make sure your future includes nothing but overripe bananas and missed train schedules.”
“you’re lucky i don’t believe in spirits,” nanami deadpanned, though his gaze flicked to the first card with the faintest hint of curiosity.
“alright,” geto said, forcing a grin as he shuffled his deck. “what can i do for you? career? love life? deep existential crisis?”
“career,” nanami replied crisply, sitting down on one of the pillows like it was a very uncomfortable chair.
“classic.” geto nodded, laying the deck out for nanami to cut. “alright, the cards are ready to speak. let’s see what the spirits have in store for you.” as he flipped the first card, geto’s brain scrambled to process the sight: three of pentacles. okay, teamwork, collaboration. he could work with this.
“looks like you’re about to enter a new partnership,” geto said, his voice smooth and confident. “something involving… hard work, shared goals… a passion project, maybe?” nanami raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, geto panicked. was this guy about to call him out as a fraud? but then, the second card came up: the empress. geto let out a quiet sigh of relief. 
“ah, abundance,” he continued, leaning into his role. “this project? it’s going to bring a lot of growth. creativity, maybe even something related to… food?” he hesitated for a split second before committing. “yeah, i’m seeing something culinary. like a bakery or—”
“a bakery?” nanami interrupted, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly.
geto froze. oh no. did he just completely miss the mark?
“uh… yes, a bakery,” he repeated, trying to sound confident. “does that resonate?”
nanami stared at him for a moment, then nodded. slowly. 
“i’ve just started working part-time at a french bakery near campus.”
the room exploded. people started laughing, cheering, and hollering like geto had just predicted the apocalypse. even you, standing at the edge of the crowd, cracked a smile. geto barely kept his jaw from dropping. internally, he was screaming: no fucking way. i pulled that out of my ass. oh my god. the spirits are real. nanami, ever composed, simply stood, nodded once in approval, and walked off like this was just another day in the life of kento “bakery boy” nanami.
as the crowd settled down, geto slumped in his seat, trying to recover. his mind raced: okay, that went better than expected. maybe i can survive this. maybe even impress you. wait, are you impressed? i need to see if you’re impressed. he glanced at you, and there it was—that little amused smile, like you couldn’t believe what you’d just witnessed. and for the first time all night, geto felt like maybe he wasn’t a total loser.
the next poor soul—or menace, really—was shiu kong. and shiu, being no better than any average man, sauntered up to the makeshift “dias” with a cigarette dangling from his lips and promptly dumped all the ash from it onto geto’s carefully shuffled deck. geto froze mid-shuffle, staring down at his now-defiled cards like they’d been personally insulted. internally, he was screaming: did you seriously just ashen my pentacles? oh my god, shiu, i hope the spirits tell you your house will get haunted.
“relax, geto,” shiu drawled, clearly enjoying himself. “it’s just a little ash. adds character.”
“yeah? well, let’s see what the spirits think about your ‘character,’” geto muttered, giving the cards a mournful dust-off before proceeding. the first card flipped: the devil. oh, the irony.
“so,” geto began, deadpan, “looks like you’ve got some… business ventures coming up. something a little… unconventional?” the crowd leaned in, murmuring in anticipation. shiu raised an eyebrow, amused but also intrigued.
geto flipped the second card: the seven of cups.
“choices,” he said, tapping the card for effect. “you’ve got a lot of options ahead of you. but, uh… not all of them are exactly moral. or legal.” the crowd erupted, half in laughter, half in knowing cheers. shiu smirked, leaning back like he was the main character in a crime drama. “huh,” he said, feigning innocence. “well, that’s interesting.” 
but when geto flipped the third card—the ace of pentacles—the room lost it. “looks like this… uh, deal is going to be quite lucrative,” geto said, trying to keep a straight face.
the crowd howled, people slapping their knees and hollering like this was the best stand-up routine they’d ever seen. gojo, however, had to be physically restrained by nanami and two others as he lunged at shiu, shouting, “WHERE IS IT, SHIU? TELL ME WHERE THE GREEN GODDESS LIVES!”
shiu simply winked, flicked his cigarette butt into an ashtray (finally), and strolled off the dias like a kingpin leaving his empire.
next up was toji zenin, a man so laid-back and unbothered he might as well have been horizontal. he approached the table with all the grace of a lion stalking prey, cracking his neck as he dropped onto the pillow like he’d been asked to fight someone instead of getting his fortune read. “alright, zenin,” geto said, shuffling the cards. “what do you want to know? career? love life? existential dread?”
“future,” toji replied simply, his deep voice making it sound way cooler than it had any right to.
the first card: the lovers.
“interesting,” geto said, glancing up at toji. “looks like there’s a big relationship in your future. something life-changing.”
toji smirked. “yeah? tell me more.”
geto flipped the second card: the sun.
“oh wow,” geto muttered, mostly to himself. “this relationship is going to bring you a lot of joy. looks like… a family, maybe? marriage?”
the crowd oohed, leaning in closer.
and then came the third card: the tower.
“oh,” geto said, pausing. “uh, okay. so, there might be some… challenges along the way. upheaval. a few bumps in the road.”
toji just shrugged. “i’ll handle it.”
the crowd cheered, someone shouting, “family man!” as toji stood, looking oddly pleased with himself. geto sat back, shaking his head. spirits, give me strength.
just as the crowd began to settle, gojo, ever the dramatic shit-stirrer, snatched the mic again. “ladies and gentlemen, we’ve saved the best for last!” he boomed, pointing a very theatrical finger in your direction. 
“YOU! come on down!”
the entire room turned to stare at you, and suddenly, you were the main character in your own personal nightmare. “uh, no thanks,” you called back, waving him off. but gojo was having none of it. “don’t be shy! the spirits are calling for you! geto, back me up here!” geto, caught off guard, looked at you and then back at gojo. “uh…” he started, scratching the back of his neck. you sighed, muttering a quiet curse under your breath as you made your way to the “dias,” your steps heavy with regret. this was going to be great.
as you made your way to the dias, geto felt his life flash before his eyes—not the whole thing, mind you, just the highlights: stumbling across the cheapest tarot deck at 2 a.m. during a sleep-deprived existential crisis, spiraling into a tarot obsession because he accidentally predicted his microwave exploding, and somehow ending up here, in this exact moment, facing you, the literal love of his life, thanks to gojo’s meddling. screw the power of friendship, he thought bitterly. his “friend” was the reason he was sitting cross-legged on a glorified coffee table, dressed like the head of a coven, with his dignity hanging by a single thread.
but then it hit him. wait… can i rig this reading?
the idea was tempting. he could just “interpret” the cards however he wanted. twist the results. make it seem like the spirits themselves were shipping the two of you.
except.
except.
he winced, imagining the sheer karmic hell that would rain down upon him if he tried to scam the spirits. knowing his luck, they’d make him the next hanged man—literally. so, when you finally sat down across from him and asked, casually, for a love reading (a LOVE reading????), geto swallowed hard and prayed to every higher power he could think of that the cards would be merciful.
the first card flipped: the knight of cups.
okay, not bad.
“so,” geto began, trying to sound confident and not like he was screaming internally. “the knight of cups suggests a romantic figure in your life. someone… sensitive, charming, maybe a little dreamy. they could be coming towards you—or they’re already here.” he glanced up at you, hoping for some kind of reaction, but you were too busy looking over at…
wait a second.
you weren’t looking at him. you were looking at… choso.
his heart sank. oh, you have got to be kidding me.
to be fair, he sort of understood the confusion. both he and choso had long dark hair (his sleek and tied back, choso’s styled into two distinct buns that somehow worked), and they were both tall with a quiet, brooding vibe. but choso? really?
before he could process the betrayal, he flipped the second card: the star.
“ah,” he said, forcing himself to focus. “the star indicates hope and inspiration. this person might bring healing into your life. they’re someone who stands out, who you’re drawn to in a special way.” again, your gaze flicked to choso, who was sitting across the room with his arms crossed, looking like a goth prince brooding over an edgar allan poe poem.
dear spirits, are you messing with me on purpose?
and then came the third card: the two of cups.
geto’s hands nearly slipped. oh, come on.
“the two of cups,” he said, clearing his throat. “this is… uh… a card of partnership. mutual feelings. a connection that could grow into something deeper.”
your eyes lit up. “wow, that’s so accurate!”
his heart soared for half a second before you turned to your friend and whispered, not so quietly, “do you think he means choso?”
geto’s soul left his body.
what part of ‘sensitive and charming’ screams choso?! he wanted to yell. okay, sure, the guy had his moments, but choso’s idea of romantic charm was probably something like offering someone his last cup of ramen without saying a word. to make matters worse, choso, sensing the attention, looked up from where he was sitting. his head tilted slightly, a single brow raised in confusion, and—oh, god—he gave you a small nod.
no, no, no, don’t encourage this! geto thought, panicking.
“well,” he said, attempting to recover, “the cards are open to interpretation. sometimes they’re symbolic, pointing to qualities rather than an exact person…”
but you weren’t listening anymore, too busy whispering excitedly to your friend about how much sense this all made. meanwhile, geto sat there, defeated, mentally drafting a resignation letter to the spirits. dear divine forces, i quit. i can’t do this anymore. please find someone else to deal with my romantic disasters. sincerely, suguru geto.
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the next morning felt like the world had been retextured to ultra-HD. the sun was shining like it got a promotion, the birds outside your window sounded like they’d formed a symphony orchestra, and even the butter on your toast tasted like it had been hand-churned by angels. why was everything so ridiculously perfect? simple: for once in your life, a tarot reading seemed to have gone your way. your love life, once a barren wasteland of missed connections and unrequited crushes, was now looking up—looking up directly at choso kamo, the brooding star of your medieval and renaissance literature class.
sure, you’d had what the kids these days call a “hallway crush” on choso for a while. the kind of harmless admiration where you’d see him across the hall, brooding next to a window like he was in a gothic novel, and think, huh, i wouldn’t mind being the mysterious backstory to his tragic antihero arc. but a relationship? oh no, that felt too bold. too ambitious. 
and yet here you were, butter molecules dissolving on your tongue, entertaining the idea that maybe this could be something real. it’s fate, you thought, smiling to yourself. the cards said so. who am i to argue with the universe?
your mind briefly flickered to last night. specifically to geto, who had looked like someone had popped all four tires on his emotional vehicle. his expression after your reading had been a mix of “i just dropped my ice cream cone” and “my goldfish got flushed before i could say goodbye.”
but that wasn’t your problem, right? he probably just felt left out or jealous that your reading turned out so great. or maybe he was tired from all the readings he had to do. surely it had nothing to do with you personally, right? 
…right?
right.
well, no matter. you couldn’t spend your morning thinking about someone you weren’t even going to see again. which is precisely when karma, fate, or the universe—take your pick—decided to slap you across the face with irony.
enter medieval and renaissance literature class.
you strolled into class, head high, already composing your imaginary meet-cute scenario with choso. maybe you’d bond over the syllabus. or he’d compliment your handwriting. or he’d drop a deeply intellectual comment about milton that you’d piggyback off of. but then you stopped dead in your tracks because sitting in your lecture hall, wearing the exact same hair tie he wore at last night’s party, was none other than suguru geto.
oh no.
you blinked a few times, hoping he was just a hallucination brought on by too much optimism at breakfast. but no, there he was, slumped into his seat, looking like a ghost of his usual self. his hair, usually neat and tucked behind his ear, was now lazily hanging in front of his face, and his eyes were half-lidded with exhaustion. he didn’t even bother pulling out his notebook—what was the point when he could barely stay conscious?
since when does he take this class?
you quickly scanned your mental archives. how did i not notice him all semester? was he new? was he a ghost? or worse—was he always here, and you were too busy daydreaming about choso to notice?
you slid into your seat, trying to shrink yourself into invisibility. maybe he wouldn’t see you. maybe he wouldn’t even recognize you. except, of course, the universe wasn’t done laughing at you.
“hey,” came his familiar voice.
you turned your head slowly, like a rusty robot, and there he was, smiling faintly at you like the human embodiment of the “this is fine” meme. 
“fancy seeing you here,” he said, his tone a little too casual for someone who probably still wanted to jump out a window over last night.
“uh… yeah. small world,” you replied, giving a very forced, very awkward laugh. meanwhile, in your head: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, why is he here, why is he smiling, why does he look like he knows something i don’t?
“enjoying the afterglow of your reading?” he asked, raising a tired eyebrow. “sure am,” you said quickly, pretending to scribble something in your notebook. anything to avoid prolonged eye contact.  “good,” he said, leaning back. 
“because i’ve been thinking about that reading a lot.” 
you froze mid-scribble. “oh? really?” you asked, trying to sound casual. emphasis on trying. he sighed, rubbing his temple. “yeah. not your reading, though. all twelve of them. from the party. last night.” you blinked, caught off guard. 
“...you did twelve readings?”
“yup.” he let his head fall onto his desk. “i think i aged five years in one night. and gojo was the worst. again.” you couldn’t help but snort at that, some of the awkwardness ebbing away. “what did he ask this time?”
geto turned his head just enough to side-eye you from the desk. “wanted the cards to tell him who’s going to steal his sunglasses next.” you pressed your lips together to suppress a laugh. “did they?”
“it’s nanami.”
that was enough to crack you, and you laughed, loud enough to earn a few curious glances from your classmates. geto’s lips twitched into a small, tired smile. you placed your pen down and tilted your head. “so, is this why you look like you got hit by a train today?”
he groaned, cracking open an energy drink from his bag. “it’s not just the readings. it’s this class, too. pop quiz vibes are strong in the air today.”
oh no. oh no no no.
the silence between you both started to feel heavier. your brain, helpful as ever, decided to go on overdrive again: what now? do i keep talking? does he think i’m weird? why haven’t i noticed him in class before? god i’m the worst—focus, focus, focus!
you glanced at him, and he glanced at you at the same time, which immediately triggered the universal law of awkward eye contact. you both darted your eyes away—him, to the blank notebook page in front of him; you, to the random doodle you’d been half-heartedly scribbling. “so,” he started, clearing his throat, his voice softer now, “what’s today’s lecture about?”
you stared at your notes like they might give you the answer, but all they offered was a series of lines that could maybe pass as a badly drawn cat. “uh… poetry analysis, i think?”
“right. poetry,” he said, nodding like he hadn’t just forgotten the subject of the class he was literally sitting in. he flipped open his notebook, which was suspiciously empty, save for a solitary doodle of a fat cat in the corner. the professor walked in then, saving you both from the growing, almost tangible awkwardness.
you turned forward, suddenly very interested in the lecture, clutching your pen like it was a lifeline. from the corner of your eye, you saw geto doing the same, pretending to focus, though his hand moved so slowly across the page that you were certain he wasn’t writing anything at all.
the silence stretched, and though you were no longer speaking, the air between you was thick with unspoken words and stolen glances. by the time the professor started droning on about rhyme schemes, you were convinced you could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears. and yet, there was something oddly comforting in the shared awkwardness. something almost warm. but you didn’t dare look at him again. not yet. not while your face still felt embarrassingly warm.
-
if the spirits were going to turn geto into the hanged man for tampering with the cards, maybe he should’ve gone ahead and done it. at least then he wouldn’t be sitting here feeling like the hanged man, every second of this medieval and renaissance literature class stretching on like a medieval torture session.
you were right next to him. close enough to tap on the shoulder, whisper a joke about the professor’s outdated slides, or just breathe the same air while he attempted to craft a coherent sentence to get your attention. but no—at this very moment, your eyes were glued to the door, scanning it like a hawk waiting for its prey.
or, in this case, waiting for choso.
oh, choso, with his eternal frown and hair that looked like he shampooed it in the tears of the damned. what was so special about him anyway? geto could brood too. hell, he could brood with tarot cards and deep existential questions about life.
as you continued to ignore him, geto ran through his increasingly desperate options:
act like a monkey and perform an interpretative dance of his love in front of you.
risk incurring the wrath of the spirits by doing some very questionable card tricks.
drop to his knees and just beg you to look at him.
...or—and this was a truly radical thought—he could just talk to you like a normal human being. with great effort, geto willed his hand to raise, aiming to gently tap your shoulder and finally say something. hey, what’s your favorite renaissance play? wanna talk about the tragic themes in marlowe’s works? wanna skip class and—
but before his hand could make contact, the door opened.
and in walked choso.
with yuki tsukumo.
geto’s hand froze mid-air, and his jaw dropped like a drawbridge at a medieval castle. he wasn’t the only one either—your reaction was just as dramatic, except yours was tinged with the sound of your heart shattering into tiny, pulverized shards. shards that were promptly scooped up, shoved into a blender, and liquefied by the sight before you.
because while you were looking at choso, choso was looking at yuki.
and geto? geto was looking at you.
this tragic little love triangle—or maybe square, if you factored in the spirits hovering over geto like disappointed parents—was the tragic renaissance play no one asked for but somehow everyone got.
as yuki giggled at something choso said (giggled??? choso kamo has a sense of humor?), you slumped back in your seat, the light in your eyes dimming faster than the candles in a poorly ventilated cathedral. meanwhile, geto stared at the side of your face, willing his brain to think of something, anything, to say that could somehow salvage this situation.
but all he could think was: what is love?
followed closely by: baby, don’t hurt me.
-
you wanted to die. not in the "clutching a vial of poison in a tragic shakespearean way" kind of die, but in the "husband went to battle and never came back" kind of die, except your so-called husband wasn’t even yours to begin with. you were in a one-sided relationship so intense it deserved its own jane austen adaptation, except instead of a romantic ending, it seemed like you’d just be crying into your embroidery hoop.
and honestly? you got it. you saw why choso was acting like that around yuki. the guy looked like he’d seen heaven for the first time, smiling at her like she’d just invented fire or something. for choso, whose default setting was somewhere between “terminally annoyed” and “what’s the point of existence,” this was monumental. so, like any reasonable, heartbroken woman, you didn’t turn to another potential suitor for comfort. no, no. you sought out something far more powerful. solace. clarity. divine intervention.
...in the form of tarot cards.
you turned to geto, sitting beside you in all his slightly disheveled glory, and the look in your eyes was nothing short of pleading. you didn’t need to say anything for him to understand. you wanted answers.
"do a reading for me. right now."
your voice was low, but it carried the weight of a thousand broken hearts and at least two adele songs. you probably sounded like a woman on the brink of asking to see the manager of the universe.
geto blinked at you, taken aback. he hadn’t even had a chance to process the spectacle unfolding before you two—choso cracking a smile at yuki, yuki leaning in closer—before you demanded spiritual insight like you were trying to summon the oracle of delphi.
"a reading?" he asked, cautiously, like you’d just asked him to perform surgery on a grape.
"yes, a reading. right now.” you punctuated your words with a look so intense it could’ve melted through the linoleum floors. "i need to know what the spirits have to say about my love life because clearly," you gestured dramatically towards choso and yuki, "i’ve been living in delusion."
you were not joking. in fact, you were about two seconds away from rummaging through geto’s bag yourself to pull out the cards.
geto, to his credit, did his best to keep a straight face, but internally he was screaming. this was not how he imagined getting your attention. where was the romantic small talk? the flirty banter? instead, he was being asked to summon metaphysical clarity in the middle of a lecture hall. “you realize we’re in class, right?” he asked, gesturing towards the professor, who was obliviously droning on about chaucer. 
“what’s more important—canterbury tales or my rapidly deteriorating sense of self-worth?” you deadpanned, arms crossed.
he sighed, already regretting his life choices, but reached into his bag anyway. this was going to be a very, very long class. as he shuffled the cards, you leaned in closer, practically vibrating with desperation. geto thought for a second that maybe the spirits would smite him for doing this, but at least he could die knowing he was, in some absurd way, your chosen source of comfort.
the reading became, as irony would have it, your single biggest source of suffering. every time geto pulled out a card, it felt less like a reading for your love life and more like an unwelcome live commentary on choso and yuki’s blossoming connection.
“all right,” geto muttered, flipping over the first card, “three of pentacles. this suggests an opportunity to collaborate or share.”
you nodded eagerly, until your eyes betrayed you and drifted over to the sunlit corner where choso and yuki were seated. and oh, what was that? choso handing her his highlighter? a stabilo one, no less? lending stationery wasn’t just helpful; it was practically a love confession in academic circles.
your stomach dropped. “okay, that’s a fluke. what’s the next one?”
geto hesitated but drew the next card. “uh, ace of cups. could mean new opportunities for emotional connection. an offer, maybe.”
you turned back to look at choso just as yuki reached out and flicked a piece of lint off his sweater. his vintage, thrifted sweater.
your jaw tightened as your sharp eye for fashion immediately clocked every detail of the piece—the carefully worn texture, the faintly faded yet intentional color palette, the hand-stitched hem that was too perfect to be mass-produced. vintage. thrifted. possibly one-of-a-kind.
and there was yuki, just casually touching it like it was some department store clearance item. your fists clenched around your pen as you sat there, practically vibrating with indignation. next to you, geto raised a curious eyebrow. “you okay?” he whispered, leaning in slightly.
“i’m fine,” you replied through gritted teeth, though your gaze was still locked on yuki and the sweater. “it’s just…some people don’t understand the sanctity of vintage clothing.”
geto blinked at you, then at yuki and choso, his expression half-amused, half-confused. “right… the sanctity.” you ignored him, seething quietly as yuki smiled, entirely unaware of the silent judgment radiating in her direction. flicking lint off a thrifted piece? unforgivable.
“all right, one more card,” he said, trying to keep you from spiraling. “the sun. it’s a positive sign. it means there’s hope, clarity—happiness at the end of the road.” you weren’t sure what you expected, but it wasn’t to glance back at choso and yuki basking in literal daylight streaming through the classroom windows. 
meanwhile, you and geto were shivering in the poorly heated corner of the room, shrouded in cold shadows, and probably misery.
"well," you muttered, shoving the cards away from you like they were personally responsible for ruining your day. "thanks for nothing, spirits."
“don’t blame the cards!” geto whispered, as if the spirits themselves were about to jump you in the hallway after class. 
“oh, i will blame them. i’m blaming all of it—tarot, the universe, my horoscope. even you.” you jabbed a finger at geto. he raised his hands defensively. “me? i’m just the messenger!”
“yeah? well, tell your spirits to pick someone else next time,” you snapped. “preferably someone not already taken.”
you turned back to your notebook, seething quietly, while geto, to his credit, really did try to make it right. he wasn’t about to charge you for what was basically a tarot drive-by, especially not one that seemed to have single handedly ruined your faith in divination, fate, and possibly humanity. as class ended and you bolted for the door, he scrambled to follow, shoving his cards into his bag haphazardly as if they might somehow soften the mess he’d unknowingly made.
“hey, wait! i’m sorry!” he called out, weaving through the crowd of students like a man on a mission—or, more accurately, like a very apologetic cat chasing a laser pointer. you knew you should’ve stopped. you knew he wasn’t at fault—how could he be? he didn’t control the cards, and even if he did, it wasn’t like he made choso and yuki sit under a literal beam of sunshine together like a rom-com poster come to life. but pride is a tricky thing, and yours had dug its claws deep.
“it’s fine,” you muttered through gritted teeth, speeding up to create distance. but geto, persistent and well-meaning as ever, wasn’t giving up. “no, it’s not fine,” he said, keeping pace with you. “i didn’t mean for it to—look, it wasn’t about you. well, it kinda was, but not like—ugh, just let me explain!”
you stopped abruptly, and geto nearly tripped over his own feet to avoid crashing into you. your chest was tight, not from running, but from the mess of feelings swirling around: anger, hurt, and worst of all, embarrassment. you turned to him with a glare sharper than it had any right to be.
“i don’t need an explanation, okay? i get it. it was stupid of me to think it was about me in the first place,” you snapped, and the second the words left your mouth, you regretted them.
geto blinked, taken aback, and for a split second, you caught the way his expression shifted—like he’d been hit with a blow he hadn’t expected. his shoulders sagged slightly, his usual calm demeanor faltering. “that’s not what i meant at all,” he said softly, voice barely audible over the buzz of students passing by.
the pang in your chest deepened, but before you could give it more thought, you turned and hurried away, leaving him standing there in the hallway. you didn’t look back, even though something in you wanted to. pride won again, as it always seemed to. but as you walked off, the image of his expression stayed with you, burned into the back of your mind like a guilty little ghost you couldn’t shake.
-
later that evening, geto sat at his desk staring at his tarot cards like they were a cheat sheet for life that had suddenly decided to go blank. the spread in front of him was chaotic at best: the tower, the three of swords, the five of cups. if the cards were trying to scream “you fucked up,” they were doing a great job. he sighed, dragging a hand down his face as he considered reshuffling for the fifth time that hour.
but then it hit him—like a very literal sign from above. a chunk of plaster from his dorm ceiling detached and bounced right off his head, leaving him rubbing his scalp and glaring up at the offending crack. “perfect,” he muttered. “thanks, universe. really appreciate the symbolism.”
it was then, mid-reckoning with gravity, that geto realized something important: this was not how tarot worked. it wasn’t a tool for undoing mistakes or bending the will of fate. if higher forces played by human rules, they wouldn’t be higher forces; they’d be coworkers who ignore emails. so, he did what any reasonable person would do when their usual method of problem-solving failed—he decided to reach out to you. to check if you were okay. rejection, even one involving misplaced feelings and stabilo highlighters, was a bitter pill to swallow, and he wanted to make sure you weren’t stewing in it alone.
but then another realization hit him, thankfully not a physical one this time: he didn’t have your number. or your social media. or literally any way to contact you that didn’t involve smoke signals or breaking into your dorm like a lunatic. waiting until tomorrow felt wrong, so he did what any unhinged-but-earnest guy would do.
he opened his email.
geto scrolled through his inbox with the dedication of a scholar deciphering ancient texts. his literature professor had this habit of sending class-wide emails—updates, reminders, existential musings, you name it. surely, somewhere in that chaotic thread, your email address was lurking. “ah, here,” he whispered triumphantly when he found one, squinting at the long list of recipients. his finger hovered over your name as if clicking it would summon you like a genie.
now came the hard part: drafting an email that didn’t sound like a confession of a crime. he typed furiously, deleting sentences almost as fast as he wrote them.
Subject: just checking in hey, i hope this doesn’t come off as weird but i wanted to check if you’re okay after class today. i know things got kind of intense and i just wanted to make sure you’re doing all right. if you need someone to talk to or even rant at i’m here. seriously. sorry if this email is out of the blue but i couldn’t wait till tomorrow to say something. take care, s. geto
he stared at the draft like it might sprout fangs and bite him. “is this too much? not enough? why do i sound like an HR rep?” after a moment of panic and one deep breath, he hit send before he could overthink it further.
leaning back in his chair, he stared at the ceiling (or what was left of it) and muttered, “smooth, geto. real smooth.”
meanwhile, back in the academy award-worthy drama that was your life, you paced the length of your dorm room like the unhinged protagonist of a spy film—except instead of planning a heist, your master plan was not having an emotional breakdown. and frankly, it wasn’t going great.
why was this such a big deal anyway? choso wasn’t the love of your life. you didn’t have pictures of him taped to your wall like a deranged scrapbooker. sure, he had great bone structure and an aesthetic that could front a band no one’s ever heard of, but did he own your heart? no. 
so why the hell was rejection stinging like you just got voted off a reality show? oh, right. because it wasn’t just choso. it was the whole concept. 
the idea that maybe, just maybe, for once in your life, the stars or the cards or something might give you a break. but nope. no knight in shining armor, no grand declarations of love, just... lint-flicking and stabilo-sharing with someone who wasn’t you.
and, of course, because the universe has a sense of humor, guilt was there to crash the party, too. poor geto. you practically bit his head off in class, and for what? doing his job as the accidental harbinger of bad news? great job, you. what’s next—yelling at the weather? just as you were about to descend into yet another spiral, this time brought to you by regret and self-loathing, your phone pinged obnoxiously loud. you froze mid-pace. that sound? that horrible custom sound you set for college emails? you grabbed your phone like it was a live grenade and squinted at the screen.
from: [email protected] subject: just checking in
your mouth hung open as you stared at the preview. the email equivalent of puppy eyes. of course. because why let the guilt marinate quietly when it can now come with words? opening the email, you read through his message, and something in your chest twisted. he wasn’t even being dramatic. no passive-aggressive digs, no over-apologizing, just... concern. genuine, sweet concern. “ugh,” you muttered, flopping onto your bed as you thought about how to respond without sounding like you were unraveling emotionally. you began typing, deleting, retyping, then deleting again.
Subject: re: just checking in hi, thanks for reaching out. i’ve been better. today was a bit of a mess, but that’s not your fault. i shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier. it was unfair and i’m sorry for taking my frustration out on you. ig i just got caught up in the whole idea of things working out for once yk. and when it didn’t, it stung more than i expected. but seriously i appreciate you checking in. it means a lot. take care, [your name]
you hovered over the send button for a second before hitting it, then tossed your phone onto the bed like it had personally wronged you. 
“great,” you muttered to yourself, staring at the ceiling. “now i just look emotionally unstable and like a bitch.” but deep down, there was a strange kind of relief. maybe, just maybe, you hadn’t completely burned the bridge with geto.
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maybe life didn’t feel like dolphins and rainbows with symphony by zara larsson playing in the background, but at least you woke up without the overwhelming urge to set your entire life on fire. progress. 
you had come to terms with the fact that you weren’t mad about choso being taken. honestly, good for him and yuki—they had the chemistry of two hot protagonists in a slow-burn drama anyway. and hey, you weren’t mad at yourself anymore either. growth, right? but of course, the universe always had one more plot twist up its sleeve.
you walked into the supervised study session later that day, fully expecting to slink into your seat, avoid eye contact with choso and yuki, and pretend you were a background character in your own life. instead, you were greeted with... a display. there, right in front of your usual spot, stood geto with what could only be described as a care package for someone emotionally devastated—or recovering from surgery. maybe both.
a soft, ridiculously fluffy blanket was folded neatly on your desk, next to a neck pillow that looked like it could cure insomnia. there were snacks—chips, cookies, even a little bag of trail mix because apparently, he cared about your protein intake. and drinks, plural, including tea, juice, and water, because hydration was key, obviously. oh, and let’s not forget the vitamin gummies.
vitamin. gummies.
“uh...” you managed, staring at the scene like it might morph into something less... earnest.
“good morning!” geto beamed at you, his expression the human equivalent of a golden retriever wagging its tail. “i, uh, thought you might need a little pick-me-up.” 
you blinked. “a little? what, are you preparing me for the apocalypse?” 
he laughed, a soft, sheepish sound as he scratched the back of his neck. “just thought it might help. you know, in case yesterday was still... lingering.”
you glanced at the pile of comfort on your desk, then back at geto, who looked so genuine it made your chest ache a little. sure, he could’ve just emailed back with a “glad you’re okay,” but no, he’d gone all in like he was running a wellness retreat. “this is... wow, geto,” you said, unsure whether to laugh or cry. “you really didn’t have to.”
“i know,” he said, his tone almost shy. “but i wanted to.”
and that’s when it hit you. as your eyes flickered to choso, who was scooting his chair closer to yuki with the subtlety of a rom-com lead, your gaze naturally found its way back to geto. the ridiculously awkward, long-haired boy in front of you, who apparently thought vitamin gummies were the solution to all of life’s problems, was now the one pulling at your focus.
ah, drat.
“well,” you said, sitting down and letting yourself sink into the cocoon of comfort he’d assembled, “you better not have used up your entire snack budget on me.”
“nah,” he said with a grin, pulling a pack of tarot cards out of his bag. “besides, i’m saving my budget for these bad boys.” you groaned, but it was accompanied by a smile. yeah, maybe life wasn’t all dolphins and rainbows, but it wasn’t so bad either.
respectfully speaking, geto was shit scared when he got in all that stuff for you. sure, in his mind it had seemed like a good idea—people liked snacks, right? and blankets were universally comforting. vitamin gummies? maybe a little overboard, but hey, health was wealth. but now, watching you actually use the stuff, munching on a strawberry-centered wafer like it was your job, he felt a wave of something dangerously close to relief. you didn’t think he was weird. or at least, not weird enough to ignore free snacks. small victories.
still, the nervous churn in his stomach hadn’t entirely gone away. because what was this, exactly? a gesture of kindness? a peace offering? a declaration of love wrapped in a fleece blanket and stuffed with gummy vitamins? he had no idea. but if this was what it took to see you look this relaxed around him, he’d happily bankrupt himself. and then, just as he was settling into the warm, fuzzy feeling of semi-success, you hit him with the question.
“so,” you said, pausing mid-bite of a wafer, “what got you into tarot in the first place?”
oh no. oh no no no.
he froze, a deer in the headlights of your curiosity. because what was he supposed to say? the truth—that he bought a deck at 2 a.m. because it was on sale and looked cool? that he’d learned most of it from random youtube videos and a couple of moderator banned reddit threads? or should he go full storyteller and spin a wild tale about a mysterious mentor who handed him a deck and told him his destiny was written in the cards? you tilted your head, waiting for an answer, and he realized he couldn’t bullshit this. you didn’t seem like the type to fall for theatrics, and even if you did, he couldn’t bring himself to lie to you.
“uh, okay, so, it’s not, like... that deep,” he began, scratching the back of his neck in the universal gesture of please don’t judge me. “basically, i was scrolling online one night, super late—like, 2 a.m. kinda late—and i saw this tarot deck on sale. it looked cool, so i bought it.”
you raised an eyebrow, and he scrambled to elaborate.
“and then i figured, y’know, i should probably learn how to use it, or else it’d just be, like, fancy cards lying around. so i watched some videos, read some guides... and, uh, here we are.” you stared at him for a moment, wafer halfway to your mouth. 
“so, let me get this straight. you became the campus tarot guy because of a 2 a.m. impulse buy?”
“...pretty much, yeah.”
and then you laughed. not a polite chuckle or a restrained giggle, but a full-on laugh that made his chest feel like it was doing somersaults. “oh my god,” you said, shaking your head. “that’s so lame. like, impressively lame.” he grinned, the tension easing out of his shoulders. “yeah, well, lame seems to be working for me so far.” you smirked, popping the rest of the wafer into your mouth. “fair point.” and just like that, the awkwardness melted away. geto might not have had a mind-blowing origin story, but seeing you smile like that? yeah, he didn’t need one.
-
as time went on, you didn’t even notice how seamlessly geto had woven himself into your life. it wasn’t a dramatic shift—no grand confessions or pivotal moments—but more like the slow, steady filling of spaces you hadn’t realized were empty.
it started with sitting together in every class. at first, it was coincidence—his seat just happened to be free. but then it became routine. he’d drape his bag over the back of the chair next to him, a silent reservation just for you, and you’d slide into it without a second thought.
then came the library sessions. you told yourself it was practical; after all, two heads were better than one when it came to deciphering medieval metaphors. but somewhere along the way, practicality blurred into something else. the quiet companionship of those shared hours, the way you’d nudge his shoulder when he started to doze off, the small, secret smiles exchanged over the tops of textbooks—it all felt intimate. you thought about bringing it up, that the library was where you’d first met, but the idea felt too sentimental, too vulnerable. surely he didn’t remember that tiny detail. 
little did you know, geto did remember. it was one of those memories he kept tucked away, revisiting it like a favorite line in a book.
of course, studying with geto came with its quirks. like the way he couldn’t resist pulling out his tarot deck every chance he got. 
“do you really think the cards are gonna tell you if you’ll pass this exam?” you’d huff, grabbing the deck from his hands before he could shuffle it. “well, they’ve been right before,” he’d tease, leaning just a little too close as he reached for them.
“maybe if you spent half as much time studying as you do asking the cards, you wouldn’t need to worry about passing.”
he’d laugh, the kind of laugh that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” you’d swat his arm, and he’d pretend to be mortally wounded, clutching at the spot like you’d struck him with a sword. but secretly? that little bit of contact was enough to make his heart race. every single time.
and then there was the way you challenged him—gently, but firmly—to rely less on his cards.
“tarot’s supposed to guide you,” you’d say, flipping through his notes while he doodled idly in the margins. “not run your life.”
he didn’t argue, mostly because you were right. and slowly, he started to take your advice. he still used the cards, of course, but not for every little thing. he began to let the unpredictability of life happen, unfiltered by fate or forewarning. and you know what? it wasn’t all that bad. in fact, it was starting to grow on him—this strange, chaotic, beautiful mess of living. because somewhere in the middle of all the unpredictability was you, and that made it more than worth it.
-
you know that sinking feeling when you realize your phone is low-key betraying you? yeah, that’s the exact sensation creeping up your spine as you sit cross-legged on your dorm bed, thumb mindlessly scrolling through reels. your current mission: find the perfect meme or video to send to geto. because yes, somewhere between tarot readings and shared library snacks, you two finally exchanged instagram handles. a milestone, honestly. but of course, the universe has other plans. 
as you scroll past a cat dancing to eurobeat, your screen flashes with a promoted ad: “astrotalk – find the answers to life here!” 
right. because you were definitely talking about astrology out loud earlier. thank you, zuck.  just as you’re about to swipe away, your phone does what it does best—it lags. your double tap, meant to like a reel, somehow registers as download app. the ding of success seals your fate. 
“oh, for fuck’s sake,” you mutter, staring at the app’s cheerful icon now grinning at you from your home screen. you consider deleting it immediately but curiosity gets the better of you. besides, it’s not like anyone’s here to judge. so you open the app.
bright colors, cheesy taglines, and a cartoon moon with a winking face greet you. honestly, it’s a little cringe, but who cares? the app boasts a free love consultation for first-time users. after that? a steep $45 per reading. capitalism at its finest.
“might as well milk the freebie,” you mumble, tapping through the options.
it asks for your star sign first. easy. you enter it. then it asks for your potential match’s star sign. you blink.
why… why is geto’s sign the first one to pop into your head? you tell yourself it’s because his birthday came up recently, and you remember him casually mentioning he was an aquarius. totally not because you’ve been secretly keeping tabs.
you type it in and hit submit.
the screen takes a moment to load, suspense building as though the app is calculating the mysteries of the universe instead of running a basic algorithm. then, the results flash on the screen:
“YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE 90% COMPATIBLE! STRONG BOND POTENTIAL!”
“partner?” you scoff, a little too loudly for the empty room. “calm down, bro. we’re not even… ugh.” but you can’t help the heat creeping up your neck. because why does this feel so validating? like the app just confirmed something you weren’t ready to admit out loud. you toss your phone onto the bed, trying to ignore the way your heart flutters a little. “it’s just an app,” you mutter, flopping back onto your pillow. but as you stare at the ceiling, you can’t stop wondering. 90% compatible, huh? maybe the universe isn’t entirely out to get you.
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the party was already in full swing by the time you and geto arrived, the unmistakable thrum of bass-heavy music vibrating through the walls and into your chest. the house, courtesy of everyone’s favorite socialite, gojo satoru, was packed wall to wall with students desperate to blow off steam after a particularly brutal exam season. the air was a heady mix of sweat, cheap booze, and cigarette smoke, oddly comforting in its chaos. fairy lights were strung haphazardly across the ceiling, casting a soft, golden glow over the sea of bodies swaying in time to the music. 
as you stepped inside, your senses were immediately overwhelmed. the sticky heat of too many people crammed into one space hit you first, followed by the sharp tang of tequila and the smoky haze from a makeshift smoking area in the corner. the living room-turned-dancefloor was packed with a crowd that was equal parts gyrating and stumbling. “guess we’re really doing this,” you said, glancing at geto, who had already started scanning the room like he was bracing himself for impact.
his expression faltered for a moment before he shrugged. “it’s either this or another night of staring at my tarot cards, and they’re tired of me asking if i’ll pass my exams.” you laughed, shaking your head. “let’s get some drinks before this place gets even worse.”
before you could make it to the kitchen, a whirlwind of energy that could only be gojo grabbed geto by the arm. "hey, suguboo! come join the crew—nanami’s actually drinking tonight. it’s a miracle!" geto shot you a quick, apologetic look before being dragged off toward a cluster of familiar faces gathered near the makeshift DJ setup. you waved him off, muttering a quick "have fun" as you made your way toward the kitchen.
it was just as packed as the rest of the house, though marginally quieter. bottles of every cheap liquor imaginable lined the counters, accompanied by mismatched plastic cups and a suspiciously sticky floor. and that’s when you saw them—choso and yuki. 
yuki’s bright smile was the first thing to catch your eye. she had that annoyingly magnetic energy, the kind that made it impossible to dislike her, even if she was spiking your drink to make it strong enough to knock out a small horse. “hey” she greeted, her voice cutting through the noise with ease. “you made it! here, have a drink—trust me, you need it after those exams.” you watched as she poured a generous amount of something clear and suspiciously strong into a cup, topping it off with a splash of what you hoped was juice.
choso stood next to her, his usual brooding aura softened just slightly by the festive atmosphere. he gave you a polite nod, but his attention was mostly on yuki as she handed you the drink. “uh, thanks,” you said, accepting the cup with a wary glance. it smelled potent, but the night was young, and if there was ever a time to throw caution to the wind, it was now.
as you took a sip—too strong, just as you’d expected—you couldn’t help but glance toward the living room, wondering how long it would take for geto to escape gojo’s clutches. something about the night felt charged, like the universe was waiting for something to happen. and for once, you weren’t entirely sure if you were ready for it.
you had barely processed yuki excusing herself to the ladies' room when half a cup of whatever unholy concoction she poured you started working its magic. stars were dancing in your vision, and your internal monologue was a mix of “am i drunk, or is this enlightenment?” and “what if i just lay down on this sticky floor and let the universe take me?” choso, ever the picture of stoic composure, stood by sipping his own drink, completely unaffected. in your infinite drunken wisdom, you decided now was the perfect time to recount the tarot reading debacle to him. because why not relive your most embarrassing moment at a house party with the person who unknowingly kickstarted it all?
“so, ya know,” you started, gesturing dramatically with your cup, “there was this thing that happened with geto's reading. you were there! nodding at me like i’d just won the love lottery or whatever. and i—oh my god, i thought you were into me.” choso blinked, unbothered as ever, though you noticed a faint crease of amusement in his brow. “uh-huh,” he said, taking another sip of his drink.
“yeah! and then i find out,” you continued, pointing at him accusatorily, “that you were actually into yuki, and i was out here thinking i was the main character in this tragic medieval romance novel! turns out, i wasn’t even in the prologue.” choso raised an eyebrow. 
“to be fair, it was obvious you and geto would make a good match.”
the words hit you like a brick. you and geto?
“wait,” you said, staring at him like he’d just spoken in tongues. “me and geto? suguru? you’re telling me all that nodding and cryptic behavior was because you thought we’d be a good match?”
he nodded. “you both have this... thing. sensitive, charming, dreamy—”
“don’t,” you cut him off, holding up a finger, the fog in your brain clearing so fast it was dizzying. “don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
“healing,” choso finished anyway, unbothered by your rapidly spiraling state.
you stood there, frozen, the memory of that reading slamming into you like a wrecking ball.
was he sensitive? yes. charming? puppy-eyed charm for days. dreamy? don’t get me started. healing? in the most absurd ways possible. mutual feelings? please, universe, say yes.
“oh my god,” you muttered, dropping your drink on the counter with a thunk. “oh my god.” choso sighed, shaking his head. “you’re really dense, aren’t you? no offense.”
“offense taken!” you snapped, already spinning on your heels. “but also, thanks, i gotta go.”
“what are you—?”
“find him!” you yelled over your shoulder, already weaving through the sweaty bodies on the dance floor like a woman on a mission. behind you, choso sighed dramatically, swirling his drink like he was in a shakespearean tragedy. “'tis true, love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.’”
"stop quoting a midsummer night’s dream!" you shouted back, not even turning around.
you were a woman possessed as you weaved through the chaos of the party, dodging sweaty couples, discarded cups, and one guy inexplicably attempting to juggle shot glasses. where is he? you muttered under your breath, your eyes scanning every corner. 
finally, you spotted geto sprawled on a couch in the corner of the room, looking like he was having an existential crisis at a house party—one leg thrown over the armrest, his hair half tied and half rebelliously escaping, his long legs stretched out like he owned the couch, and his expression screamed, "why am i here and how can i leave without offending anyone?" apparently, gojo and the gang had taken off to drunkenly compete in a swim-to-the-other-side-of-the-pool-without-drowning race, and geto, the only one with common sense, had respectfully declined.
your heart did a weird little flip-flop at the sight of him, though whether it was from nerves or the bacardi yuki had spiked your drink with, you couldn’t tell. however, had bigger problems. like the fact that your heart was about to stage a mutiny and jump right out of your chest. how were you even going to start this?
hey, i realized i love you the minute you showed up to class with vitamin gummies for me.or maybe it was when you emailed me, “just checking in” like a gentleman from the 1800s. or maybe it was every time you did something ridiculously thoughtful like it was nothing.
you took a deep breath, but all that came out was, "hey."
geto looked up, blinking at you like he wasn’t sure if you were real or just a figment of his daydreams. "oh. hey."
good start, you thought. very articulate.
you shuffled closer, ignoring the pounding in your chest. "uh, so... how’s the couch treating you?" he blinked again, a small smile tugging at his lips. "better than gojo’s swimming plans, i can tell you that much."
"right, yeah," you laughed awkwardly, standing there like a statue while your brain scrambled to form coherent thoughts. geto tilted his head, a soft chuckle escaping him. "you okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost—or yuki with another drink for you."
"ha, funny," you said, before blurting out, "actually, i’ve been running around looking for you." his eyes widened slightly, and he sat up straighter, suddenly looking both amused and terrified. "oh? should i be worried?"
"no! no," you said quickly, waving your hands like you were fending off an accusation. "i just... there’s something i need to say, and, uh—look, i swear it’s not the bacardi talking." geto raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "you sure? because venus is in retrograde right now, and it’s messing with everyone’s feelings."
you froze. "wait, what?"
"venus. retrograde," he repeated, gesturing vaguely like that explained everything. "you know, the planet of love and all that? it’s doing its thing, so if this is about some cosmic realization—"
"no!" you interrupted, louder than intended, earning a few glances from nearby partygoers. "this isn’t about venus or renegades or whatever. this is about me. and you."
that got his attention. his smile faltered, and for a moment, he just stared at you, eyes wide, lips parted like he was afraid to speak.
"look," you continued, words tumbling out faster than your brain could process them. "i don’t care if mercury’s in gatorade or saturn’s doing cartwheels—i like you. no, wait, i love you. i love you because you care about things that no one else notices, because you do the kindest things without making a big deal out of it. because you..." you hesitated, your voice softening, "you make life feel... lighter. and if this ruins everything, then fine. but i needed you to know."
poor geto looked like he was experiencing every emotion known to man simultaneously. he let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through his hair. "are you sure you’re not drunk?"
"i love you," you repeated, because apparently, one humiliating confession wasn’t enough. "i mean, who wouldn’t? you’re... you’re geto! you bring vitamin gummies to class, you email me just to check in, and you—you just do these little things like they’re nothing, but they mean everything to me. and i—god, this is so embarrassing. i probably sound insane, don’t i?"
"no," he said quickly, his voice soft but firm. "no, you don’t. i—"
"oh my god," you cut him off, suddenly burying your face in your hands. "this is the bacardi talking. forget i said anything. or—or don’t forget. i don’t know. i’m spiraling, suguru. help."
"hey, hey," he said, leaning forward, his hands hovering awkwardly near yours as if he wanted to comfort you but didn’t want to scare you off. "breathe, okay? it’s fine."
you peeked at him through your fingers. "it is?"
he didn’t say anything at first. instead, he reached out, gently taking your hand in his. "yeah," he said quietly. 
"for the record," his lips twitching into the faintest of smiles, "venus retrograde has nothing to do with this. i’ve been in love with you since the first time you helped me with my books in the library."
you blinked. "wait, what?"
"yeah," he repeated, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "honestly, i’ve been in love with you for ages. i just—i didn’t think you’d feel the same way. you’re kind of out of my league, you know?"
"me? out of your league?" you laughed, the sound a little wobbly but genuine. "geto, you’re literally the human equivalent of a prince. you’re smart, you’re sweet, you’re ridiculously pretty—"
"okay, stop," he said, his face turning pink.
"no, seriously!" you insisted, a grin spreading across your face. "i’m half-convinced you’re not even real sometimes."
"well," he said, finally letting himself laugh, "if i’m not real, then who’s been buying you vitamin gummies and writing you sappy emails?"
"touché," you said, smiling back at him.
"love is a silly thing," he added, smiling softly. "but with you? it’s my favorite thing."
and just like that, your heart found its home.
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thank you for reading till the end 🙂‍↕️ this is probably one of the shortest fics i've ever written LOL, the more i look at it the more unsatisfactory it gets.....but erm anyways blame that on the burnout 🕺!! i hope you liked reading this regardless, the concept has been on my mind for a while now ☆⌒(*^-゜)v as usual, my "which reader are you" quiz has been updated with this fic as well, so be sure to take it and let me know if you got this fic or not! <3
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levia-san · 8 months ago
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Hero YJH x Demon King KDJ pt.1 || pt.2 || pt.3 Index || Next Chapter
he said, like a liar.
yay the basic premise is set! Tentative title would be something like "Impromptu lessons in love", because in reality YJH doesn't really know how to approach this whole topic either... he'll try his best.
Notes on characterisation:
Generally speaking I based off this KDJ of the early KDJ from the novel. It's never explicitely stated (iirc), but I don't think KDJ cared much about other people. He cares a lot about his friends, but towards strangers / people as a mass, he's more apathetic or even antagonistic. This doesn't mean he's outright cruel though. More so that he keeps his distance, but there's still some silent resentment.
Or hmm, to put it best: as individual KDJ probably doesn't really mind you, but when thinking of society/people as a whole, he'll show a certain distaste towards that group.
YJH here similarly is also rather anti-social but in a lone wolf way to KDJ's hermit. In my mind, YJH was always the "body of steel, heart of glass" type of character. So he'll be mostly be very rough on the edges, outright asshole, yet his kindness hits in the most unconventional ways
Those are about the vague notes I left myself in my mind palace I'm not sure how far I'll go with the AU, I'll have to see 🤔 will proably depend on A) reception and most importantly B) my mood lol
anyway here is your reward for making it all the way here ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)
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shepscapades · 2 years ago
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37. GUY.EXE — Superfruit
Okay so this song started as a joke, because I wasn’t originally going to have Skizz be an android; I thought it would be really funny if this Normal Guy was just always surrounded by his robot besties and the Perpetual Odd Guy Out. But, the more I listened to this song, the more I realized how much funnier it would be if the narrative/this song was basically “Doc, Impulse, Tango, Etho, and Mumbo all set out to create the ~perfect android~ together but are ridiculously silly and gay about it, and also the perfect android ends up being Skizz, and also also the design elements suggested by our fellow hermits here are uh. Not indicative of anything at all. Nope!” And the concept was just way too fun not to run with :]
Again with this one, you really won’t get the vibes here unless you know or listen to the song— the second shot is actually a redraw from the music video, so kudos if you got that reference LMAO I was SO hoping someone would request this number, so thank you joi >:D Incredible opportunity for me to draw these guys with ridiculous poses and expressions alongside finally getting to share Skizz’s spectacular origin story <3
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determunition · 2 years ago
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i took the switcheroo week as an excuse to finally try my hand at some scrybeswap designs! got a bit carried away as you can see, i love doing character design so much
decided to keep their species/major design elements fairly consistent (e.g. grimora's makeup, mag being vague and indistinct, leshy having nonhuman legs, p03 only having one arm) while still switching up their aesthetics as needed; super happy with all of these as a result!
design notes for each scrybe under the cut! def open to any further questions or curiosities, i always think way too hard about characters while designing them lmao
P03:
scrybe of the dead: i went for a possessed tv vibe; he's still mechanical but those bones do have a living soul trapped in them...also shoutout to @squid-hug for suggesting the x-ray machine, i was very tickled by that lmao
scrybe of beasts: overgrown old bot was kind of a given for this one, but i was also thinking that the plants are part of what's keeping him running somehow
scrybe of magicks: the magic eye is the core powering that top monitor, and the two side monitors display what he's seeing with that eye at any given time
grimora:
scrybe of beasts: she's a witch! like a chill terry pratchett kind of witch, she works with a lot of herbs and such; also her makeup is meant to mimic blood drops
scrybe of magicks: magick grimora is more of a warlock type, her magic is a lot more sinister and she almost never opens her eyes (whereas her third eye is basically always open)
scrybe of tech: tech grimora is kind of a wacky machinist-flavored dr. frankenstein; she inscribes by writing on circuitboards!
leshy:
scrybe of the dead: this leshy is a gargoyle/vampire hybrid! i thought a mirror would be fun for him bc you can get two different cultural refs; medusa (bc stone gargoyle), and the idea that vampires don't appear in mirrors!
scrybe of magicks: i decided to make him a bird guy (kinda harpy-esque) bc he's basically a more whimsical baba yaga hermit; the baba yaga thing carries over from slavic folklore obvs. also he has polycoria!
scrybe of tech: tech leshy was super fun, bc he's steampunk! rather than animal legs i gave him digitigrade robot legs, but other than that he's the most like, normal human guy here probably lmao; despite his well-adjusted appearance though i still think he's got a bit of freaky wonk in him
magnificus:
scrybe of the dead: this one was very ring-inspired lol, got those clump of hair you found in the shower drain vibes
scrybe of beasts: bush magnificus real! i think he'd be a bit more quirky trickster fae in this form
scrybe of tech: one of my favorites; tech mag is an emaciated cyborg draped in so many loose cords and wires that you can't tell what he looks like anymore. a lot of those cords are connected to him, and he plugs them in wherever as needed! he also has a drawing stylus, making him just an average art student tbh lmao
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topherwrites · 4 months ago
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MELROSE AVENUE
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summary - an ill-advised phone call to your ex.
pairing - jake seresin x (fem!)reader
word count - 3.3k
rating - not 18+, but mdni!
content warnings & tags - no use of (y/n) / angst / post-breakup blues / calling your ex / mutual pining / drinking / implied rebounding? / lmk if i missed anything!
a/n: title comes from the song 'promise' by laufey. this one is for all my fellow angst™️ lovers. reblogs, comments, and likes super appreciated!
TOP GUN MASTERLIST / LIBRARY BLOG
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"That guy has been eyeing you the entire time we've been here," Lana says. Your wonderful friend dragged you out for a drink, making apparent that your hermit-like behavior since returning to the city is disconcerting.
You’re fine. Well, you will be. Eventually. Maybe.
"I know."
She leans back in her seat, making zero attempt at hiding the fact that she's looking at him. "He's cute.”
You blithely return, "I noticed."
Before you can stop her, she slides off her stool, taking her purse and coat off of it, "I'm going to go to the bathroom."
"Lan-" you sigh, beginning to protest, but she's already weaving through tables.
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The man who's slid into your friend's recently surrendered seat—apparently you “need to get back out there”—gives you a smile as he flags down the bartender.
He’s cute, even more so up close; you'll give him that.
A broad smile that fits in with the rest of his features and enough charm to put you at ease—it rouses memories of you in a similar position only three years ago—and then he speaks, and the southern twang to his flirtation promptly drills a pit into your stomach. You’re starting to think the universe may genuinely have it out for you.
Hyde, he introduces himself as. He very formally holds out his hand for you to shake, large and warm around your own, offering him your name as he leisurely releases you with a squeeze. You refrain from making a Jekyll joke, sure that he’s dead tired of hearing them, instead, you ask him where about he’s from.
Georgia, he says. 
At least it’s not fucking Texas.
You accept his offer of a drink, telling him your order with a smile that you hope comes off as happy to be here, definitely not devastated!
And If there’s one thing you know it’s that Jake isn’t lamenting the end of your relationship, turning down flirtations from pretty women.
He no longer has reason to. And neither do you.
He has to keep pushing his hair back from where it falls attractively into his face, curling up at his neck. And as you get into the groove of getting to know a new person, you begin to think that you can do this, live without him. He offers the basics about himself, and you internally sigh in relief that he’s a firefighter. You have a new rule: no military, not ever again.
Halfway through your Manhattan, he grips the lip of your stool and pulls it flush with his own, cheekily murmuring with a smile that makes you feel a little fuzzy, maybe it’s just the gin, “Want you closer.”
If it was any other night, you’d find the move unbearably corny and far too much far too soon, but he’s pretty and affable enough that he can pull it off. So, you let the outside of your thigh press to his, feel the denim of his jeans against your skin. And you're surprised to find yourself excited, marginally.
You should bring him home. Let him, anyone, touch you. Maybe sparking intimacy with a new person will push you past all this—
Maybe.
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A half hour later and numbers exchanged, he waits with you out on the sidewalk for your Uber. He's angled his body so his broad shoulders block you from the light wind, the night air cooling your heated skin. It’s sweet, he's sweet, you think.
Jesus, you’re a lightweight now. Those three drinks are hitting you a little too hard to be cute. Lana waves bye to you as she nearly skips down the street, inordinately smug.
You look back up at him, hands fidgeting slightly as you worry your cuticles—you're out of practice at this, you hope it's not off-putting—an uncertain edge to your voice, “Alright, well, call me.”
But he takes your nervy manner in stride. He tips his head, a soft smile on his face as he looks down at you, swinging open the car door for you. “Yes, ma'am.”
A different timber, but the same southern twang echoes in your head again. You freeze for just a moment. Luckily, he hasn’t seemed to catch your brief deer-in-the-headlights look. You send a small wave goodbye as you duck into the car, letting out a long breath as the driver pulls away.
Dropped off, it’s on your three-story walk-up that you let the three drinks you had back at the bar influence your actions. It’s as good of an excuse as any.
Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts and hit the call button beside the one marked; Hangman (do not answer). You let out a sad little laugh at that.
You had changed it to his callsign a week after the breakup, or back to his callsign, back to a stranger. Seeing his name every time you pathetically agonized over calling or texting him became too painful. The “do not answer” now lingers ironically. The wall of silence finally broken by you; no attempts at contact from his side. Only his right as the dumped party, you suppose.
The line rings, the sound echoing around the concrete stairwell as you finally step foot on the landing of your floor. It continues to ring while you heft open the metal door to your hallway. A thought runs through your head, he’s not going to answer.
You calculate the time difference: 2 a.m. in New York, 11 p.m. in San Diego. 
Which means that he’s probably at the Hard Deck, sidling up to some woman, shooting her a smile and a line. And, just like you once were, completely defenseless against his square jaw and green eyes, he’s charming his way into her pants. His phone is probably buzzing away against his ass and he’s ignoring it in favor of pressing her up against the siding of the bar.
You're sure there are still suspiciously you shaped clearings in the dust there.
You unlock your front door with a sour taste crawling up your throat. You're about to let reason win out, take the hint, let the scab go unpicked—then the line clicks, connecting.
In your front hallway, you’re rendered stock still, mind racing to catch up to the fact that he did, against all reason and odds, answer. A sharp spike hits your chest, and you bring a hand up to soothe it away, fingers pressing hard at your sternum. The discomfort pulls you back down.
A groggy voice, his voice, comes crackling through the line, “Hello?”
Then you hear a shifting of sheets, a heavy sigh, and a yawn that recedes as the phone is pulled from his ear—the sound stops abruptly. Clear-cut silence remains.
You hazard he must’ve checked the caller I.D.
For one very long second, you wonder if he’s simply hung up on you, but the rustling of sheets on the other end confirms that you are still very much drunk dialing your ex.
Your name is whispered as a question—like he can’t quite square that you’re calling him. Fair, the ending felt pretty definitive. Moving across the country doesn’t scream open to reconciliation. And you aren’t. You think.
You shouldn’t be, at least.
Intaking one large breath, you answer as you release it, “Yeah.”
“Uh, did you mean to-” he cuts himself off, then says as though you’re not aware, “This is Jake. Are you alright?”
The genuine concern in his voice makes emotion work its way up your throat, a thickness taking hold of your vocal cords. You miss him. You cough, clearing the feeling away. “Yeah.”
He’s rendered you monosyllabic.
“Yeah, you meant to call me? Or yeah, you’re alright?” His voice comes through so crisply—if you closed your eyes, you could pretend he was here. You try to ignore that.
Leaning back to rest against the wall, you whisper to the hallway, “Both,” you clear your throat, “I guess.”
“Oh.”
He doesn't seem to know what to do with that. And in his defense, you're not being very fair, you know that. You're just prolonging the amount of time it's going to take to get over him.
But you can’t help yourself from inquiring, “You're not out?”
“Haven’t been in the mood.” Then, he asks as though it takes incredible effort to do so, “Have you?”
It’s clear to you that he’s trying to suss out both whether this call is the result of alcohol—it is—and if you’ve been out on a date—not intentionally.
You continue your streak of being vague, “Sort of.” You clear your throat, deciding to offer up, “Lana and me went out for a drink.”
“A, as in singular?” He teases.
You blow out a long breath, your shoulders loosening at his tone, the familiarity therein. “…Maybe a bit more than a.”
There’s a short silence. But there’s no bitter aftertaste to it when he says, “I figured.”
“How are things there?”
His eyes land on the empty space beside him. “Quiet.”
Your eyes scan the moving boxes still piled high in the living room. The way your loneliness, now that you aren’t really distracted from it, seems to seep into every dark corner of the room.
Ignoring any possible subtext—easy enough, as tipsy as you are—you take the most straightforward meaning of his answer.
“Good, that’s good.”
Blowing out a long breath, you peel yourself from the floor, teetering on unsteady feet as you make your way into the kitchen. Setting your phone on the counter, tapping the speaker button. You blindly fumble in a cabinet for a glass. Knocking the tap on, you watch as it fills.
Jake tries to settle into a steady rhythm of catching up, it’s easy to pretend you’re just old friends. Well, not easy. But certainly easier than acknowledging all the baggage that rests between you.
“You settling in over there?”
Turning the tap off, you look about your apartment as you take a sip.
Again, the boxes. Still packed high, still taped shut.
You hum, “Forgot what a pain moving is,” adding after a moment of thought, “Can’t find my fucking silverware.”
His laugh rumbles through the speaker, you share in it with him lightly. The sound mixes nostalgically.
You pick up the phone, holding it to your ear as you lean your elbows on the counter. And not that you would ever admit, you let your own laughter quiet, get a clearer ear of his.
You know in one of those boxes—you didn’t mark which one, idiot—is a collection of photographs, photobooth strips and polaroids snapshots and underexposed disposable camera film. There’s probably one too many in there where Jake is the sole subject, him squinting against the sun on the towel next to you or the silhouette of him moving through waves. You can't make many excuses for why you took them.
The ones that are worse on your heart are the ones you squirreled away of just the two of you—his chin resting on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your middle. Another of you resting on his shoulders in Penny’s pool, haphazardly trying to push Mickey off of Reuben and into the water. Laughter echoing through time. 
The one Nat snuck of the two of you, sequestered in your own little world at Penny and Mav’s reception—his arm along the back of your chair, fingers gently running along your bicep. Private smiles and quiet conversation. Dreaming of something stupid.
All some hazy, happy memories.
Preemptive grief—that’s what runs through your body, leadens your chest. He’s still there, in your ear. But soon, he won't be. It’s odd to consider how every second is memory—sand in an hourglass. It's unlikely you’ll ever cross paths again.
It’s for the best.
Those words drag at the bottom of your stomach. It’s a cliche you’re tired of clinging to. 
Without it, you might go insane.
“Would you tell your mom hi for me?”
“I-“ he sighs. Maybe it’s too weird, too familiar, too soon.
“What?” After another little drag, “Jake?” It comes to you in the silence: “You haven’t told her yet.”
The knowledge hurts. He’s been putting it off. And so your mind plants a horrible, viscous little thought, maybe he thought he wouldn't have to. You swallow it down. 
“Hadn’t gotten around to it.”
His mother will take one look at him and just know—he fucked it up.
It wasn't mutual. Not really. 
You’re blameless. Jake was lacking. As always.
His mother loves him despite his flaws. Despite the way that sometimes his voice hits his ears and all he hears is his old man. That old need to pick at and put down—he’s no Freud, but he knows where he learned it. 
That man infected him.
You're the first person who didn’t seem to love him out of some sort of obligation. And he fucked it up. 
He only went to see that therapist twice—then the conversation landed one too many times on his father, his childhood in that house, and he still hasn’t gone back. Keeps paying the no-show fee, week after week, just in case. 
“I need to know how you're doing.” It’s probably a streak of sadomasochism that makes you ask it. But part of you needs to know if this has all hit him as horribly as it has you.
“Bad.” He laughs a little as he says it. In your head, you can picture the bittersweet smile on his face.
You take short, torturous breaths through your nose. Like you're trying to shove down every terrible, misguided, pathetic impulse that ultimately leads you to say the one thing above all else you shouldn’t, “I miss you.”
It’s an admission of defeat to yourself. Cringing, you bite down hard on your cheek in punishment for letting that last line of defense slip, waiting with bated breath for his response.
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On the other end of the line, Jake attempts to compartmentalize.
Pulling the phone from his ear, it digs into the side of his temple as he curses—hopefully quietly enough that his phone doesn't catch it. 
Closing himself off to unpleasant feelings is second nature—guilt, anger, fear, inadequacy—switch on, switch off. The therapist Reuben recommended to him after you left tells him it’s a coping mechanism—an unhealthy one, her voice echoes in his head. It’s not working as well this go-around.
Alone in his bedroom, he has to swallow down the horrid lump crawling up his throat in order to speak, hoping you don’t hear the shudder in his chest.
“You're gonna be so happy,” he says. “You’ll get over this,” him, “I promise.”
He speaks to you as though you’re a friend. It’s all he can do.
With you, he had proven to himself, once and for all, that he’s incapable of being in a relationship, he can’t make anyone happy, not for very long at least. But in that short moment where he did make you happy, he’d convinced himself it wouldn't be just that—short. Delusionally, selfishly, wrongly.
He convinced himself it was for the long haul.
And he didn’t appreciate it well enough, didn't burn those early mornings and late nights and gentle affection into his memory. He remembers plenty of it, his fuckups, especially, have played over and over in his head ad nauseam as he’s drifted to sleep these past few weeks. But he wishes he remembered every second.
This is another one, right now, another second with you that he’ll tuck away.
It was over two months ago now—after a nauseatingly quiet fight that ended with you shutting yourself away in the bathroom till you’d assumed that he’d fallen asleep, tentatively slipping under the sheets—that he answered a question for himself: can someone be the one if it’s clear you're not theirs?
So Jake did what he does best—what branded him with his call sign to begin with—he left you out to dry. A gradual distancing over a few weeks. Not making plans as often and spending the night at his own place. Worse, even, that it felt like you were expecting it—already at acceptance, just passively coming to terms with the end of your relationship. You were expecting him to fuck it all up that it didn't even come as a shock.
All a long time coming.
With wringing hands, you’d given him a sit-down and the stock standard, ‘this isn’t working anymore’. It was over so quickly, simple agreement and a bag packed in all of fifteen minutes. You didn’t even look up as he closed the door behind him.
Jake still fantasizes about a scenario in which he put up a fight.
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His words ring hollow in your ears. You feel like this ache has imprinted itself in your heart. You swallow down your disappointment. Even though it wouldn’t change anything, you wanted to hear him say, I miss you, too.
Because you miss his eyes and his broad shoulders and his deep dimples. You miss his bright, eye-crinkling laugh, his yes, ma’ams’, and the way he softly hums old country tunes while he cooks. You miss the way that genuinely, for a moment, you thought he might be it. Something as silly as “the one”.
Forever is now a word, a concept, that makes you feel unbearably naive. Like a child who still believes in Santa Claus far too late. Like a joke you weren’t in on. Like every time some friend of a friend, always a few years your senior, seemed to doubt the longevity of your relationship, you should have heeded their cynicism.
You just wonder, retrospectively, how much of it was rose-colored glasses, if the good of your relationship was really as good as you remember it. 
It was so far from you the moment it was over, you’re left unable to trust your own recollection. Disdain and sentiment and remorse clouding every moment brought to mind.
You’re still learning how to square it all in your mind. The before and the after.
Despite the fact that he pushed you to the breakup, you were still the one to put an end to it. Take the relationship out back and shoot it. He doesn't really owe you- no goodwill, no kind words. And yet he extends them anyway.
“It’s probably time for me to let you go,” he says as though he were the one who initiated this.
There’ll be no “I’ll see you around” or “I’ll talk to you later”.
“Yeah. I, uh…” you can’t bring yourself to say it, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. “Goodnight, Jake.”
His name still sounds so familiar in your mouth. You wonder if your body will ever really forget him—or if some form of muscle memory will always recall the way you loved him, will always paint him with a fond brushstroke.
“Get some rest, alright?”
You force a hum out of your chest, take a shaky inhale through your nose. This is where you should hang up. 
You know that. But you make no move to do so.
All you want is another minute. So you stay on the line, unable or unwilling to be the one to press the end call button. For a moment, all you hear is his gentle breathing through the speaker and wonder if he feels the same.
It doesn't matter much anymore. This is a bookend. No point in settling the minutiae any longer.
Back in San Diego, Jake counts off to five in his head, then ten. Renegotiates to fifteen. 
It's for the best. 
Three sharp beeps and you're left in the echoing quiet of your apartment. You stay standing in the half-dark kitchen for a long time after.
The sounds of the city leech into the space. You'll find a new dream, a new future. It'll just take you a little while to let go of the old one.
On the other side of the country, Jake comes to the realization that he’s alone once again—as he always was before you and will be after you.
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e/n: i might've also written an alternate ending to this one if anyone is interested. thank you for reading!
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aamputation · 4 months ago
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more SVSSS stuff for y'all, although this is new.
I've been toying with the idea of writing a little ditty I wrote a little of a thing, where SY gets dumped into PIDW as himself, just a random NPC with a dutiful little System just doing its best. this is my design for him, including his spiritual weapons. more details below the read more.
my other SVSSS art -> [ here ] & [ here ] shout out to adornedwithlight for the reblog banner
SY is definitely a fuerdai (second-gen rich kid) but he's not exactly the healthiest. He's smart and graduated college, and in this universe he's a celebrated published author, like in this post by @/princessdave (should I tag them? hurk idk, lemme know?). The rest of his family is famous in some way because of their wealth, but he's basically a hermit. He dresses well because he can afford to, but he'd happily live in rags and squalor so long as he has some food, a bed, and trash webnovels to read.
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After he accidentally dies after cussing out Airplane's shitty cliffhanger ending, SY finds himself in a predicament. The System he first encounters is the System from canon: a rude bitch trying to put his soul into SQQ. SY nopes out of there, cites bodily autonomy, pitches an unholy fit, and somehow, someway, there's an error. Either SQQ didn't die during his Qi Deviation, or it's too early in the timeline and SY can't do any body snatching! Hallelujah!
The OG System, having lost its Host and overall purpose, discards SY like yesterday's news. He's left behind in the empty space, and is tentatively approached by this new System. It tells him that he can't go back to his body since he's dead as a doornail and offers to pop him into the PIDW universe. SY's millenial ass just goes "meh, fuck it, we ball" and he's thrown into PIDW as himself.
The new, Benevolent System accompanies SY, and attaches itself to him. It explains the B-Points system and promises to be helpful, immediately giving SY 100 starting B-Points and opening the System Store. SY takes full advantage, and uses his 100 points to the fullest in adjusting his body to survive and thrive in a Xianxia setting like PIDW. He then asks where in the plot he was dumped into the story, and the System tells him. (Haven't decided on whether to start pre-PIDW storyline, or at the SVSSS storyline start, either way, it works.)
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Clearly a scholar more than anything else, SY immediately hyper-fixates on writing the best bestiaries across the PIDW-verse, so the fashion he buys from the System Store is all modest at best, although he'd splurged to get a Qiankun pouch. He'd also vehemently argued with his System to be able to justify keeping his hair as short as possible ("if it's too long it's just going to get in the way when I study monsters! I don't have the time to care for it!")
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SY focused his cultivation on useful things, and the System responded accordingly. He gained skills with Alchemical Arts, Formation (Array) Arts, Talisman Arts, Beast Cultivation, and Martial Arts focused on the shortsword and the fan. The System manifested itself into SY's fan, to provide an easier interface during his travels, and his first mission led him to find his spiritual shortsword.
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Yù Shòu Shī Rèn 驭兽师刃 — The Beastmaster's Blade
A legendary weapon created by a powerful cultivator who was both a master of beasts and a warrior. This cultivator forged the weapon after making a pact with a heavenly demonic beast, granting them the ability to call upon creatures for assistance in battle. The blade was crafted using beast materials—the fang of a Heavenly White Snow Dragon* and the claw of an Abyssal Flame Ghost Hound**—imbuing it with both spiritual and physical properties. * Tiān Bái Xuě Lóng (天白雪龙) ** Shēn Yuān Yàn Guǐ Quǎn (深渊焰鬼犬) In combat, the Beastmaster's Blade allows SY to summon beasts, control their movements, and enhance his own combat abilities by drawing power from these creatures. The blade has a secondary power, allowing SY to bond with a specific creature and form a partnership that amplifies both SY’s and the beast’s abilities. Depending on the bond strength, the blade can allow SY to temporarily transform into a more beast-like form, gaining enhanced senses, strength, or agility. It can also allow SY to merge his consciousness with a creature, enabling them to fight as one. The blade can also be used to command and direct beasts, issuing silent commands that the creatures obey, making SY an unstoppable force when surrounded by beasts in combat. The Beastmaster's Blade is a powerful and mystical weapon designed for a cultivator who can control, summon, and bond with beasts. Whether used to fight alongside beasts or to subdue them, the weapon emphasizes mastery over nature, the power of spiritual connection, and the balance between destruction and harmony. It is a weapon for those who understand that true power comes not only from force but from the deep bond between a cultivator and the natural world.
Rén Cí Xì Tǒng Shàn 仁慈系统扇 — Benevolent System Fan
The fan itself is an elegant yet powerful weapon. It is a spiritual and otherworldly artifact, not only physically capable of defending SY, but also carrying the ability to influence the world through the System’s applications. It allows SY to prevent conflicts or resolve disputes with missions and Scenario Pushers. The System helps SY grow and influence the world around him in an active way, molding what was once a garbage story with solid roots into something worth reading. Unlike other systems that may have less than benevolent intentions, SY’s System encourages him to grow emotionally and reach self-fulfillment while enhancing the story. Missions from the System push SY to develop in the PIDW world, and all outcomes result in some type of reward for SY’s efforts, whether it be with behind-the-scenes insights, improved cultivation abilities, stronger fan powers, or even a free-pass deus ex machina. In combat, the fan focuses more on subduing rather than killing unless strictly necessary, using gentle yet powerful techniques that leave enemies incapacitated, cured, or redeemed. The fan boasts the ability to change the direction of the flow of energy, as well as wind-based powers, representing the System and SY’s will to shift the flow of the disastrous PIDW world around him.
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