#bc like. yeah. ISN'T IT SO FUCKED UP THAT XYZ

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

the thing getting at me the most after finishing my second read through is john's desperate fear of consequences combined with the ability to wipe people's memories about it. like he accepts that there's conflict between the lyctors, but he doesn't want to/cant comprehend that anyone would have a grudge against HIM. he justifies cytherea's actions as her being overworked, not her having a very real reason to want to stop more lyctors from being born. his fear of consequences is also a fear of change. he's desperately clinging to who his friends were ten thousand years ago, and i think it's entirely possible that he's so desperate he would cut parts of them out that were changing/disagreeing with him. he already demonstrates complete willingness to violate their boundaries and erase their memories "for their own good". He thinks people can and should be fixed- he's frustrated that mercymorn won't let him "fix" her anxiety, he tells them to kill harrowhark or "fix" her. If he has the ability to erase people's memories to avoid anyone being mad at him/stopping his plans, to "fix" the parts of them that were unfaithful or might hurt them, in his eyes, I don't trust that he wouldn't.

imagine how many times over ten thousand years the last straw was pulled and one of the lyctors got fed up with him, or he got fed up with them. imagine how many times over ten thousand years one of the lyctors tried to talk him out of something or objected to some genocide or another, and he found their objection inconvenient. part of the horror of harrow's experience on the mithraeum comes from the fact that she is both in actual danger that nobody is recognizing, AND that she can't remember or trust her own perception of events. Is she hallucinating? is it the ghost? what reason would anyone have to believe her, if she can't even believe herself?

maybe that's the horror of every lyctor- never being sure if you're being manipulated in the normal gaslighty "don't leave me or i'll kill myself and also kill the sun" way, or in the brain tampering way. knowing and feeling a sense of fealty and love and faith in john, and never knowing if it's coming from you, or from some brain magic. Harrow doesn't remember gideon, but there are LOTS of signs that something is very wrong, that something is missing. Imagine how many of those would stack up over TEN THOUSAND YEARS

[celebrityhero]

yeah adhd is cringe now because it's kind of becoming 'overdone' and people on social media talking about it turned it into the disorder that causes every single problem on the planet thus making life basically unlivable. annoying extremely long post under the cut you know how it is

but I feel it is two-pronged as a repetition online because i do think it has effected more parts of my life than i ever realized and being diagnosed with it plus autism did make me feel like i had to come to terms with a lot of things about my life and my behavior that i assumed were not only normal and i was being dramatic about but also so normal and typical that everyone did them and i just had to learn how to stop having problems with it. the second prong is that i think people are kind of using it to wash away possibly all personal responsibility. i hates ta says it but i do think the notion that people with adhd benefit from more discipline is most definitely true. i can do things at my own pace and it is probably better for me to not inflame my pots every fucking day (and pots will improve with exercise & honestly i am eating like shit lately but pots hasn't been too bad bc of it though i imagine it will worsen if i don't improve it soon) but 'my own pace' involves a lot of simple mistakes that i really do just miss and have to let go and forgive myself for that an average person would not have to do.

THAT ALL BEING SAID... i can only remember so many things from my childhood that lead me to believe my adhd diagnosis is 'legit' in the sense that i was just reading an article that illustrated that internet usage is actively depleting our attention spans, giving us 'checking' behaviors, giving us mutlimedia split focus (can't remember if that's the term in the article I wanted to link it after I was done reading it if it held up), like this stuff is a no-brainer it's stuff i noticed happening to myself as a little computer addict eight year old && i was just blogging on allykatzz and playing webkinz but i still felt like something was happening to me mentally and changing how i was thinking and behaving. this is stuff we all have noticed over time too, so i guess my inquiry for the uprising of adhd diagnosed individuals is if your internet usage is plentiful and if reducing it has ever made you less distractable? I Have Found that reduction of usage does not make me less distractable and i seem to be able to entertain myself without a personal entertainment machine. but i also have never reduced internet usage for longer than a week if that. but i do remember things about being a kid that lead me to believe i really do have adhd, how it persisted into teenagerdom is hard to say because as a 'digital native' (another term from the article) i only lived so many years of my life without using a computer a lot lol. i would like to mitigate that too though.

and i think i have gotten better at choosing what i want to do online and also trying to fight the online checking behaviors or even ones like 'omg i can't post xyz online because it's CRINGE!!!!' but i like to type a lot sorry screw me kill me behead me run me over with with your gay little bike i really don't care if it's cringe. i yam what i yam. and i think choosing what i do online is a step towards reducing my contact with online world which is a step towards better discipline that hopefully reduces my adhd symptoms.

because even the age old adhd diagnosis checker of do adhd meds work for you? then yea you probably have it, doesn't really feel Real to me because if the internet is changing our cognition, even able to reduce the gray matter in our brains and things, then who's to say that it isn't also making adhd medication work for people who otherwise did not naturally otherwise qualify for adhd? like to be honest even when i qualified for adhd diagnosis from a therapist & a psychiatrist, i wasn't given extensive testing. they didn't go over my childhood. they didn't bring in my mom to ask about how i was doing or what i was like. it's not standard to inquire about someone's internet usage. i truly think we are getting to a point where we might need to start changing someone's internet habits before we consider evaluating them for anything, but i am not a psychologist nor am i deeply studied in these things, nor do i even have a precursory survey of psychology or anthropology or whatever else one would need to study to Really Understand these things. i just am making observations and i do talk to people irl, i think my internet presence gives the impression i do not do that. but i do! and among my peers and my age group i do think it's a cause for concern that we are addled with distractible qualities. i think getting distracted is normal and i've talked to my mom about our shared webbing thought patterns and i guess i call into question how natural that is for me. would i have ever developed that if i didn't go online?

and for as much as im leaning into confirmation bias for my own self i do remember as a kid being very sure i didn't have adhd, because i knew some kids who did have it and they read to me as stupid--keep in mind i had already developed a maladaptive narcissistic coping mechanism to protect myself, so i tend to chalk that up to that rather than to me finding my peers beneath me in a genuine way. though maybe i did genuienly find those people stupid in a shameful way. i viewed adhd purely thru a lens of ability, and that is real that the things that matter about adhd is how it affects one's abilities, and as a kid i didn't like to think of myself as unable to do things. it was true that i would get bored of reading books even if i liked them, and i would need to jump into some other activity, but a) i was a kid! and b) i liked drawing and writing my own stories way more than i liked engaging with something someone else made (and i was always very sure that i could do what other people did but better, i guess i can't decide if this is a child ego thing or maladaptive narcissism because i have only recently recognized and tried to grow out of this). i liked reading because i liked visualizing, but i would often become distracted and skip ahead, or distracted and begin daydreaming--these are things my mom also said she did. i rarely got in trouble but when i did it was because i was being disruptive because of my quirks like clicking pens or shaking my legs, and there's also the angle of inattentive adhd or adhd in girls being a little more tempered and not as noticable or diagnosable. but while all of those things are true how are we supposed to feel absolute certainty that i definitely have adhd and have had it since i was a kid? how do we know if that wasn't all byproduct of internet addiction or otherwise internet mental erosion?

and i propose the same question to everyone who uses their adhd as this life-changing, shocking, mind-bending deliverance of the good psych world that has persisted, hidden from their self-perception for years of their lives. yes, it can be true, but with how it's utilized in the common consciousness i just call it into question. there are those tweets about how people with adhd can't do anything, annoyance at its permeation throughout the digitalscape verbalized through little posts poking fun at the phrasing of those adhd information posts, which i also think are funny. and i DO concur that a lot of this stuff is cringe and frankly yeah overdone. i do question how is it possible that we all have it? how is it possible we all have a developmental disability? how is it possible that every single person who has this diagnosis, myself included, can not stop bringing it up whenever they make a mistake or lose focus for 5 seconds? it wasn't paramount for a good chunk of our lives so did it really reframe our self-perception that severely? as a kid i thought people with adhd were morons! even if i didn't mean it and i was just being ignorant or narcissistic, i could have never imagined myself as being just like them. they were loud, obnoxious, had no control over their actions it seemed like--and we can kindly ignore that i had similar experiences that i was not self aware about for a long while, just for the sake of argument. as much as i think that it makes sense why this surge happens and why the annoying 'omg sorry i have adhd' 'btw i have adhd' 'as someone who struggles with adhd...' seems to be the case for every single diagnosed person for not no reason, i do agree with the general perception that it all seems a touch overblown. oh, i don't know, it's just a little too convenient that every single thing is just too difficult for those with adhd. the poor dears.

[sexycornenthusiast]

Do you have any Regret hc’s?

This is a bit like asking if the ocean has water I think.

Regina/Gretchen headcanons part 2:

(part one)

They spent a lot of the summer between junior and senior year trying to genuinely get to know each other as friends without all the social pressures and pretenses

Gretchen was a little hurt when she found out how much Regina had been keeping from her the whole time

She thinks Regina's "working through basic human emotions like they're a puzzle" shtick is very endearing

They're both complete freaks in an 'equal and opposite' way

Sometimes when they're alone Regina will randomly start telling Gretchen about something fucked up that happened to her as a child. It's unclear whether she actually recognizes these as traumatic events

Gretchen writes Regina love letters, which she keeps neatly folded in her nightstand drawer and she looks at them whenever she gets sucked into the self hatred spiral

It took Regina a while to get comfortable with the typical dating stuff and not associate it with the fakeness of her previous comphet relationships

She hate hate HATES receiving acts of service (for brainworm reasons). Giving them, however-

Gretchen is very easily touched by tiny things so Regina will be like "Oh yeah I remember once you said xyz" and she'll start crying

Both of them feel like they don't "deserve" their relationship in different ways

According to Gretchen, Regina could solve literally any problem in the universe in seconds

She can and will drag Gretchen out of the anxiety spiral by the ankles. She does NOT play around

Both have a very extensive mental encyclopedia of things they just Know about each other

(yes this does freak out their friends sometimes)

Karen loves third-wheeling them. She finds it hilarious

Regina isn't any better at cooking than Gretchen is, but she's an aggressive "get the hell out of my kitchen" partner

They tell acquaintances that they're "roommates" for a long time bc they're both cowards

Their last dance at their senior prom was in the parking lot alone to whatever was playing on Regina's car radio after everyone else left. They got each other flowers <3

Their friends had a running bet going for how long it would take Gretchen to start crying at their wedding. Not if she would cry, but when

[fairlyxlocal]

i haven't slept enough to know whats going on anymore lets do this. sorry idk how to shut the fuck up

NAME? : Dean (n or nyx is cool too idc)

PRONOUNS? : they/zir

MOST ACTIVE MUSES? : on this blog, pandora, genesis, and zack. cloud is like on a leash but i'm yanking him back. i'm tired. i have an oc (mostly oc) blog and i have this little bastard tanuki that's probably the most active overall.

EXPERIENCE/HOW MANY YEARS? : writing wise, since i was like 13? but i was the kid playing warrior cats on the playground. don't @ me

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? : i am selective about smut and will take 200+ years to reply, randomly get so physically repulsed i never want to do it again. it's like an impulsive decision and i just cannot do it most of the time LMAO sorry. fluff is nice. idk maybe i'm boring basic as shit but slice of life is pretty enjoyable. angst doesn't really do anything for me anymore? it's just... a thing.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES? : haha,,,, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i physically cannot start with long stuff, unless i'm doing a generalized open (and i rarely do those bc the idea of putting in that effort and it just having 0 notes forever is a Curse) -- i start short and kinda vague unless plotted? but i can get REALLY long and rambly. unfortunately like 90% of my genesis threads are a good example of that. in most cases (genesis excluded) long replies take me forever.

PET PEEVES? : lack of communication, i think is the biggest. if i'm doing something that's making you uncomfortable or you feel like i'm pushing something, you gotta tell me directly. like i'm not saying i'm autistic bc i think it sounds nice, if you don't directly tell me, i do not know. i will not know. i will keep doing xyz thing until i am corrected. until you tell me there is a conflict with your mouth, i will assume there isn't any. i've been hypervigilant in my real world life my whole life, i cannot do it in a space where i can't even understand what a "omg" response means contextually. i can't guess feelings and man i'm so tired. uh that's the only major thing that's happened to me as a writer on tumblr <3 please communicate with me. i'm a bundle of anxiety but i'm happy to communicate and work things out. (much less of a deal now, but... following me based on a faceclaim, somehow avoiding all of my muse information/threads and being surprised that i'm not writing Stiles Stilinski or Alice from Twilight -- actual examples)

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE? : unfortunately, yeah. not even the one you're probably thinking. cloud is my first thought, we have the same mental illnesses <3 i can joke about it all i want, cptsd with the associated did/dpdr, depressed, autistic -- i have thought so much about the similarities and there's so much comfort with him but also like that risk of vulnerability. genesis as well, autistic theater kid with an obsession with a piece of literature (genesis' is more respectable), trying to find purpose within prose and trying to find place in the world. wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved after being neglected. middle child. mental illness and other fun body/brain issues. sometimes i write canon muses bc i have ideas, sometimes bc i relate? and yeah there's a level of putting yourself in them, there always is! but genesis and cloud specifically are very similar to me without like... me doing too much. i'd say ocs again but i don't really put much of myself into ocs. with canon muses, it's.. already there. deku from MHA is another good example, but like @xplosionbomb is the only one who can back that i am just deku irl. oh ig everyone is pretty queer in some form or another, and usually mixed.

TIME TO WRITE?: yes. depends. i'm disabled, chronically ill, i work full time and i'm a college student. if the stars aren't aligned, it's not happening. i hyperfixate pretty bad too. i like writing!!! i will be SO FAST or like. 3 months later... it varies. either i'm audhd or just severely autistic, jury's still out LMAOOO so it's kinda like. i dunno. when it happens it happens. i'm trying to get back into other hobbies though!

tagged by : @escortingsecrets im sorry if i tagged the wrong blog im not sure ahts going on

tagging : come back with a warrant (you aren't obligated but!! if you want to, @warofthebeasts @annjiru @sacredflorist @geraniumplant )

[ohumokay]

I saw ur comment on the friend post and even though we have an age gap it baffles me that we seem to be having the same issues in regards to friendships. idk if society has always been cliquey or overly selective of who it lets join in and vice versa. but lately idk whats been up with peoples way of communicating you would think even with all tihs digitalised methods that people would want to but yet it seem no one does either bc theyre so self absorbed or they are "too busy" esp for those that have 100s of friends online but never enough time to every one so some of us sadly get put aside or we just drift apart if they dont align or do enough like i dont even care about gifts and no cards and shit fuck that id rather just have few solid connections than none.

what sucks is the other people who then gloat on their profiles or accounts and ik they "busy" with others. i try to find things in common with others but its so hard sometimes because then you feel like you have to force yourself to genuinely care about shit you dont care about in order to find somewhere to fit in. i recently tried doing online zoom quizzes and they were absolute hell, first off zoom is the worst way to try to feel included in on any sort of group esp when u dont know them right off the bat then these quizzes were god awful to keep up with esp the speedquizzing ones. i only did them cause this was the only way my "friend" would keep in touch long enough w/ me.

its a sad world we are in where people are mostly only interested in themselves, even in school this was the case. idk i just kinda gave up cause i dont think i will ever find who im looking for cause it feels like if im not doing xyz things no one going to care if im not here type thing. yet im tired of finding people only to then feel like they arent pulling their efforts back, again idc for gifts but is it so hard for people to idfk send messages in return or to keep a friendship going? outside of having common interests?

sorry for rambling but i feel like no one really seems to want deep meaningful connections no more. everuthings done for their benefit or for posting online and showcasing it to others their "fake" as fuck connections that they claim to have with people.

Hey... Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. A lot of ppl have shallow ass relationships views nowadays, or avoid real connections.

I think I know which comment you're talking about: the one about my ex-bsf who basically ghosted me. That friendship was not only one sided, but toxic asf. They would shit on my beliefs, make jokes at my expense, and if they were called out for their behavior, they'd say that it didn't matter bcuz they were gonna off themself anyway. It was really shitty, and towards the end, they made it very clear they were a fake friend (literally called themself fake) so I had to cut ties my own way.

I'm sorry your "friend" couldn't compromise in communication. That is such a sucky feeling; trying to keep a friendship afloat, even if the other person isn't. And it's sad that no one in this world can have a normal conversation.

Don't get me wrong, me and the friends I have left (including my new BSF) don't text anything deep. Like, we text all the time, but we usually avoid deep conversations. Not bcuz we can't have meaningful conversation, but bcuz we don't feel comfortable texting; deep shit should be said in person, or,at the bare minimum, over a phone call. So that's why we text pretty shallow, or not at all. But, our friendship is also strong enough to withstand a few days without talking and still being closer than ever.

I understand your exhaustion, for a while I shared your sentiment, but I firmly believe that everyone has a person. A person who they can talk to freely, whenever, without worry of toxicity or emotional distance. A person who is always there with a shoulder to cry on, and advice that one might need to hear, even if they don't want to hear it. A person who will be willing to sit in silence when need be, or rant with them, or simply listens bcuz talking without interruption is therapeutic. A person who is their person, through thick and thin.

And, I know we don't know each other, and have an age gap (tho, idk how large it is), but if you need someone to listen to your rants and rambles, or to talk you through a situation, or to just tell you your heard and appreciated, I'm more than willing. And this goes to anyone who needs it, not just the questioner. I am willing to be a surrogate person until you find your actual person.

I'm not perfect, I might not say the right thing, it might take me a while to respond, but I will always be willing to help a fellow person in need, even over Tumblr ❤️‍🩹

[david-watts]

hey this prob isn’t worded super well but just gonna say it bc ik it’s a thing that took me years to grapple with (still working on it tbh lol), just bc you have certain things to be grateful for doesn’t make it bitchy to acknowledge/be hurt by things that suck. Like yeah you may have xyz thing that’s good but being treated like crap in other ways is still unacceptable and you’ve got every right to be upset w it. I hope things get better soon, you seem like a cool dude and u deserve to be happy

I decided to leave answering this til I was in a better frame of mind which. took longer than usual. I got yelled at for there being water on the sink. yeah. but thanks for saying this. a lot of the time if I actually stand up for myself I get yelled at that I should be grateful I'm allowed to stay here or when something isn't done like someone else wants I get told that I'm an ungrateful lazy bastard (actual words used) so i guess I just. internalised that. and I never really have had the best control over my emotions because either I was left on my own for long stretches of time or my parents not having the best grip themselves (my dad's pretty ok but I haven't been around him as much as with my m*ther, which is just. how things were.) so I never learnt the framework without the bullshit that's happened in my life to cause emotional dysregulation. which actually was probably just what went wrong earlier because there was a combination of having to clean up someone else's mess and being mad that my parents never taught me any household skills for some fucking reason

[thegeminisage]

(it's totally okay to add it and I did see your reply just wanted to let you know!! also feel free to ignore this if you're over talking about it)

but yeah I hate the idea that dean can't be happy if he hasn't done XYZ checklist of things people have decided is the right way to cope because healing is not one sized fits all, and it isn't a destination. he is always going to be carrying the weight of what has happened to him and the things he's done but that doesn't and shouldn't mean he can't have a life he feels more comfortable and happy in than we see him in the series.

it also like to me just ignores the fact we have seen him happy in canon. not often/for long due to *gestures at the spn universe* but it seems to come from this idea that he can't achieve /true/ happiness unless he fits these ideals of what healing should look like and therefore doesn't value the very real happiness he /has/ had in his life, however rare. and I think the joy and good times he's had in his life do matter and selling that short is, harmful. the idea you can't be happy or content until you're finished healing the Right Way and anything before that wasn't valuable because you were still dealing with your trauma/mental illness just..makes me a bit sick honestly. it feels like good survivor/bad survivor discourse repackaged.

which to me ties in with the total deconstruction of him as a person/character that you mentioned which is a huge issue I too have with the implications of this whole ideal. as if the dean winchester we see in canon isn't deserving enough or capable of healing and happiness already and needs to become a different person to deserve/achieve those things which is, and I can't emphasize this enough, a very fucked up idea I wish people would take ten whole seconds to think through. anyway this is long but just wanted to say thank you for your consistently good takes<3

(original post for context)

UUUUUUGH ok you literally hit the nail on the head. good survivor/bad survivor discourse kermit nod exactly. also like, we saw dean try to be "normal" in season 6 with ben and lisa and like...he was miserable. i think dean's normal and dean's idea of happiness is different than what our idea of it for him might be. it's like with people who want cas to punch john. sure YOU want that but what would DEAN want?

imo the times dean's been happiest in canon are when he's surrounded by his family and/or he's in a fight he think he has a good shot at winning. a lot of people want dean to quit hunting and i get that because it's shitty and dangerous but dean finds so much of his meaning in his work. i think he could learn to find meaning in other things alongside it but i also think he'd never be happy fully giving up the life - just look at how guilty he feels in 2.20 knowing he's not out there helping people. i see his ideal scenario being like, he becomes the new bobby or something, and being out without being ~loud & proud~ if that makes sense. it's not the healthiest option but it's the one that would offer him the most contentment i think.

this is also related to a weird soapbox i have with people saying sam and dean should have separate houses. like yeah dean viewed separation from his family as the worst possible thing that could happen to him for the first ~40 years of his life but sure you think that's toxic so make them live in different houses??? dean gave up a "normal" childhood for sam and sam in turn is giving up a little bit of a "normal" adulthood for dean - he says so many times that he stays in the life in large part for/because of his brother, he wouldn't fucking move out unless he took dean with him. similarly when people want them to move out of the bunker bc it's not like a home, it's not a house with a yard...i get that and i have mixed bunker feelings but at the same time it's SAFE and it's THEIRS. they don't have to do wards or lay salt lines...you could not ASK for a place better designed to help them put down their hypervigilance.

but yes, the ultimate goal of healing is for dean to not be in pain, not necessarily for dean to become a "normal" sober starbucks-drinking dog-walking citizen with pride flags in his yard. it's just something people lose sight of. and i'm sure nobody is sitting there purposely engaging in good survivor/bad survivor discourse when they're just drawing cute art head empty but like UNINTENTIONALLY. the implications. when a healed dean is a dean erased then we have lost the thread a little bit is all i'm sayin

(continuation of this discussion here) [spn masterpost]

[acethena-discourse]

You really can't listen so let me say it more clearly

I hate mobile Tumblr bc I can't format it like k can on my computer therefore my post can't be set up in what I deem polite and respectful to you and others. I will have my computer back soon and you're the first person I'm going to be sending shit too.

In hand with that I'd the fact that my main, is my main, it is my private blog for me. Not you, not debi, no one but me. So yeah, you're not going to be getting a reply from it.

I demanded sources you claimed you had, which you have provided and I am reading. But alas I can't just spend all day reading. I have to work. I have bills, animals to care for and a life full of people who do care. And my spoons are constantly low. So reading is going to be slower than either of us would like.

Your sources while valuable, still have yet to say: "aces and aros can't use corrective rape to describe assault that happened to them with the intent to fix their asexuality or aroness." which is what I was looking for. Not numbers. But the numbers are appreciated and I am using then to improve my own searches on this topic. So sit down and wait your fucking turn until my computer is back and I have spoons.

Me saying "this is similar or stens from this terf argument" isn't being transmisognist. It's literally me seeing a sentence and recognizing it's more hidden connotation. Like the okay sign. Yeah it's fine, or rather was, but now it's also an alt right sign. A signal to say "I'm okay for alt righters." The okay sign just like phrases many exclus use are used I 100% believe unaware that they can summon the wrong crowd. But summon they still do. That's not me staying "all exclus are terfs" it's me saying "exclus who use xyz argument should be aware it comes from a terf space and be aware they can draw terfs to them bc of it" that's me trying to guide people who regularly threaten me, hurt me, anx oh yeah disrespect me, because I know many are minors anx many are likely trans. And they even when they are ahistorical shits who know no better, don't deserve to be hurt or accidentally draw the wrong crowd so stfu and actually read what I type and think critically about it.

As for when I'm going back, when again I can format actual better replies for most of these anf probably at the same time as I'm grabbing sources and formating that post to my standards. I wanted sources, I have them but I'm not going to blindly respond until I read all of them so fucking be patient.

You are literally spamming my notes to the point even if I did have the spoons and computer right now to format replies properly some would still even forgotten or drafted to try and even keep up and respond adiquitly.

This was all typed on mobile btw I hate it and you will get your sources the day my computer comes in and j can format things the way I like. My hands are cramping bc I'm using a phone and have chronic pain, so this is the last long post. Wait

[ashmp3]

okay re: ur vocal note/rant bc ofc i listened i have issues yeah omg i put it on in the background like a little podcast

and like i am sooo with you on this 😵‍💫 like its so unfair abt how a girl will take out her insecurity and anger at a guy and put it onto ANOTHER girl instead of the guy!!!! like be mad at him like it just sounds so 16th century witchhunt that apparently the guy isn't responsible for who he wants to sit and talk to and rather theyre mad that another woman is trying to charm and bewitch him like boohoo sorry u only see other women as competition and also u sound like a better person than me bc best believe if i was friends w a girl and she acted like that i would be playing breakup playlists and sulking and ripping my hair out and writing w a glitter red gel pen abt all the curses that i want to befall her bc there is nothing worse than being a girls' girl and then being hated by other girls!!!!!!!!! (esp bc of a man) feels like hell is a pit in ur stomach!!!!!!!!

and to insert myself omg i graduated hs a year and a half ago now but even from then until now ive had the same friend group which is a group of guys and for no other reason than that i genuinely like them and theyre like a group of brothers to me and we vibe but the hatred from other girls is literally heartbreaking 😭 bc every so often i would hear in high school abt 'oh xyz from this group of girls called u a pick me and talked abt u and said u want male attention' which is a batshit crazy take bc everyone knows that i preferred women anyway like wdym im not gonna date any of those guys in my group we are friends...just friends....and once in y10 this guy was obsessed w me and he was like a millionaires son and popular and i was shy and kinda intrigued so i dated him for a little while but 16 year old me would hear comments 24/7 in the hallways abt how i was some slut for doing it (it being dating him) which is crazyyyy bc every single one of these comments came from girls (and girls who i knew liked this guy)

so like omg yes to agree w u on everything nothing is more infuriating and annoying as hell when like girls forgo ur friendship and ur good intentions and just the overall sisterhood vibe bc theyre mad some guy is into u...like even if ur not into him back 😭 sorry for the long ass ask

call her daddy count your days call her ashmp3 is coming to take over ur little podcast…

i KNOWWW but genuinely she doesn’t have any reason to be mad at either of us? like he sat next to you because you dragged him there and then all you did was bat your eyelashes and giggle and i know she’s shocked that this didn’t work because she is really so pretty and men kneel down just to talk to her. And i am sure the guy doesn’t even like me i think I was intriguing to him and we hit it off well so of course it might look like that. also she knows i don’t even want him she KNOWS who i got my eyes on so i was just so shocked at her behavior.

also the whole thing about breakup playlists and red glitter pen i love you you are so funny and expressive i giggled… And yeah i don’t do that i’m like oh well moving on. I don’t like dwelling on things, and i don’t get sad i get mad. Mad because as you said, being a girls girl and then it flipping on you is just aggravating.

PEOPLE DO THAT ALL THE TIMEEEE like why is it so hard to believe that you see them as friends and they see you as a PERSON that’s their FRIEND no i’m telling you it’s girls that see attention from a guy as a confidence boost or confirmation that they are worth something which is all fucked up and not normal way to think about yourself… But i think the deep insecurities just come from the place of wanting to be accepted. And they can’t understand that you hanging out with your friends doesn’t mean anything more because they themselves couldn’t do it aka they would try and flirt… So u get hated on bc they project themselves and think what they would do. FUCKED UP!

i had that happen with another cancer guy and in hs and still now i don’t have instagram facebook nothing i am a monk in a body of a baddie. But i remember my friend showing me profile of random girl and saying “she hates you and talks shit about you bc of cancer guy” like you don’t KNOW ME. Hate HIM lmfaoosjdjsjs i mean don’t hate anyone… Crazy

and 🫂🫂🫂 long asks are always welcome and thank you for listening to my rant and i am sorry you went through things like this bc it’s truly heartbreaking being reduced to a “pick me” just because you don’t act shy around just some guys.

[princessnijireiki]

this author I know posts a LOT about her kids on facebook, and her page isn't set to private or anything on top of that— like I have a list of people who try to friend me bc we have "friends" in common who are writers I've actually met but who have, like, public profiles & are well known enough in their circles that those people requesting me literally might not know anybody on that list of mutual friends

which… whatever, after you get used to the experience of "oh ok I am a grown up now & that means more and more people I know both have kids & wanna talk about them," it's nbd

except she opens up this post with "yeah, I've pulled back on talking about my firstborn bc they're at the age where they want more privacy, so for example last year I didn't talk about [goes into detail about some shit her kid didn't want mom putting out to strangers]" which is already… yikes????

and then continued with "secondborn's about to hit that age, too, PROBABLY for the whole of PUBERTY bc they're more SHY, so I'm prepared to dial back," and then wrote like SIX OR SEVEN more PARAGRAPHS on this kid's struggles…

which I would be more sympathetic to if it was, like, mom is venting to a locked FRIENDS list bc she's struggling with what to do, too, or is even in a parenting comm or sth, and if this wasn't where her kids could see it— all of which is vz easy to set up on facebook, if people are so inclined— but, like, I don't know her kids, yk?

amd I have some other friends whose fb profiles are fairly public, pictures of their kids & all, but they don't put their family's business out except "oh, so and so's playing at the city championship game tonight!" or "xyz graduated!"… and I have some friends whose profiles are suuuuuper locked down and private, where I'm essentially in the insider's club, and even then it's not posts like "young blood has THESE health issues and has NO friends and CRIES all the time, what are your suggestions? no, I don't like that suggestion, who has suggestions in line with/that reinforce what I didn't mention I already decided to do?"

and I just can't fathom that weird nominal respect for your kids' boundaries before flouting them anyway to an audience of nearly 5,000 "friends" and then some… I don't understand the disrespect for & discomfort with people wanting privacy separate from the bubble of literati fame their parents have but these kids themselves were no part of & whose impact they didn't ask for.

not to say "shut up about your kids," but some fucking empathy for thek would be nice. shut up about your kids when that's what they need you to do. shut up about your kids when you know they're at a fragile time in their lives that you already lived through, because the consequences for them are crushing (I didn't like my mom putting my business out to my friends' moms one person at a time in the school parking lot— the idea of her telling 5K people stuff I was already too embarassed to talk about at school would have only served to be emotionally destructive, AND would've killed any remaining trust I had for her)… and the only consequences for you, as someone who should very well fucking remember how difficult those ages are as an adult who's already lived through them yourself, are having to keep your mouth shut & not use them as props in your social media presence.

parents are supposed to be embarassing because everything about the generation before yours is embarassing at a certain point (clothes, music taste, slang, accents, movie taste, etc.), but don't make your kids' lives harder by oversharing for online clout.