#because I am still sooo in love with The Glass Scientists

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Guys should I write a Dracula musical. Should I???

[theoneeyedwriter]

writing characters with one eye

i can pretty much guarantee that ↑that↑ is not a heading you see everyday.

now i will not be giving advice on writing cyclopses, (though it may be sort of the same thing) i still hope this will be helpful for some people out there that are looking to provide a more diverse cast to their wip!

i have never ever ever read a book, watch a show movie etc etc that involves a character with one eye. (aside from those badass characters who wear eye patches bc they lost sight in one eye in some badass way)

for context: i am one of many people who was born with microphtalmia, an eye disease that results in one or both eyes develope smaller than normal at birth. i myself was born with a smaller left eye, which resulted in my left eye being removed exactly twenty days after birth.

microphthalmia (along with many other eye diseases) typically leads to being half or fully blind. i lucked out and only lost my left eye which i am so so thankful for.

i would really really love to see more representation for my community in literature, especially so people would come to see that being half blind isn’t as unusual and weird as people make it out to be.

without further ado, i present to you, a list of information, facts, and first hand experiences from yours truly!

i’ve had prosthetic eyes made to fit my eye socket for about fifteen years (i’m 16 lol) (the first 6ish months after the surgery i never had a prosthetic)

in my life i’ve had four different prosthetic eyes made because just like other people, my eye socket grew alongside the rest of me, meaning the prosthetic needed to be made bigger

i’ve had my current prosthetic for four years now, the past ones lasted about 2-3 years at a time. this one will probably last me through the rest of my life unless i need/want a new one

as opposed to most media/assumptions, my prosthetic (along with most prosthetics) is PLASTIC (people always think it’s glass) and only half a circle!!

i’ve had three surgeries related to my eye

i do not have depth perception which makes doing certain things very difficult (estimating distance, how close/far i am from something etc)

driving is not affected too much, i just have to turn my head more than other people. i believe being blind in the right eye might be more difficult, but i couldn’t say

doing my make up is kinda easy, except for eyeliner is a pain in the ASS since most people close their eye to do it on their upper lid, but clearly i can’t close my right eye whilst doing it lol

my family as well as my friends and even myself often forget i have a prosthetic, which sometimes results in awkward/funny situations

i hate walking with people on my right bc i can’t tell where they are unless i’m constantly looking down at my/their feet

i sucked at basketball bc i had such a disadvantage (no depth perception, i could only see half the court, i was constantly turning my head) but professional swimming is much easier for me since it’s not a contact sport and doesn’t really require for me to be paying attention to a million things at once

i rarely have to take my prosthetic out, and if i do, it’s either to clean it, (we do get eye crusties on our prosthetics just like other people do when they have pink eye or sever allergies) it’s bothering me/really dry, or i want to take it out to show/scare people lol

a lot of people don’t realize when i first meet them that it’s fake bc my recent prosthetic is amazing accurate to my real eye. others notice and assume i have a lazy eye since it doesn’t move

for some reason people think i can’t cry out of my left (prosthetic) eye??? i still have a tear duct??? i actually think more tears come out of my left tear duct than my right lol

i am extremely self conscious about it, but i know there are other one-eyed beauties out there who aren’t which is amazing!! i try to live vicariously through them lol

i make sooo many jokes about my eye lol, and i’m usually ok w other people making jokes as long as they aren’t like overly rude/offensive, then i’ll feel a lil bad about my self

people never really made fun of it, but kids in middle school likes to wave things in front of my left eye/on my left side that i couldn’t see which got really annoying after a while

getting custom designed prosthetics are available, but they’re really expensive (so are normal lol) they costs thousands of dollars, just like other prosthetics do

i run into things that are on my left side ALL THE TIME it’s actually kinda funny lolol

i try to hide my left eye/turn more to my left side in photos bc my eyes aren’t always looking in the same direction, which really gets to me

i wear glasses for both protection and bc my right eye is -1.75 lmao but i did used to wear non-prescription glasses purely for safety

i do have contacts to wear during the summer, swim meets etc, for when i don’t want/can’t wear my glasses but need to see. bc of this, i have a second pair of glasses that have no prescription

if doctors/scientists managed to figure out a way to fix microphthalmia (a birth defect), or do a sort of eye transplant, i would not be able to have that done to me because all parts of my left eye have been removed from my body

microphthalmia is NOT the only disease that results in the haver losing sight in one or both eyes!! there are many others, but it is not my place to share any experiences for something i have not experienced!!!

for once i just want to see a clumsy character who has one eye that WASNT a result of some tragic event.

so please please please consider including a character with one working eye in your wip. it would mean the world to myself and all the other members of the community (there’s a lot of us, trust me) plus, i wouldn’t mind starting an acting debut playing a half-blind female protagonist, that would be so dope.

that’s about all i can think of for now! please send an ask or reply to this post if you have any questions, i’m willing to answer any!!! and if you happen to be a member of the one eye club, please add to this post!! that would mean the world to me:)

[hermannsthumb]

If you’re still doing summer prompts, could you do graduation for newmann?

15. Graduation

from (the very old) summer prompts meme here

enjoy some awkward pre-canon jaeger academy ~ROOMMATES~!! also I am pretty sure this message/prompt is from at least a year ago (if not TWO) but it was only today that I really thought about what I wanted to write for it and wrote in like a FRENZY. content warning for alcohol (no like intoxication tho)

--------

It was hardly to be expected that Newton would be mature over the whole thing, but Hermann finds himself in a perpetual state of agitation the final weeks of their enrollment at the Jaeger Academy anyway. Newton was very young, Hermann knows, when he graduated from university (at least he was young the first time he graduated), and he can only assume the man took it rather hard that he didn’t get to have the proper send-off he thought he deserved—all-night parties with kegerators and beer pong, one-dollar shots at dive bars, trips to the seaside with classmates. One wasn’t likely to invite someone who’d barely breached his teens and still had braces to those sorts of things, after all. It’s the only reason Hermann can think of as to why Newton has spent the month—the whole month—popping open champagne at all hours and organizing spin-the-bottle in the base rec room and generally being a great bloody nuisance to everyone they have the misfortune of sharing their graduating class with. Over-compensation is what it is.

Having Newton as his bunkmate adds a special level of unbearableness to it all. At least—and Hermann does thank the stars above for this—tomorrow marks the end of a very miserable month. A very miserable two years.

“Everyone is going to be there,” Newton says. He’s wearing an oversized pair of neon sunglasses over his regular glasses, for some reason, those abhorrently dated kind with the slatted lenses, and dangling from his left hand are two bottles of pink champagne. A bag of plastic cups dangles in the other. “Everyone. Not even just the k-scientists—the techs, the ranger trainees, the—”

“That all sounds very thrilling,” Hermann says, hefting a stack of button-ups into a cardboard box he’s labeled Clothing – Gottlieb. “You’re aware, I assume, that we’re meant to be moving out tomorrow, and you’ve not touched anything on your side of the room?”

“Dude, I have sooo much time,” Newton says. Hermann realizes now the seal on one of the champagne bottles is broken—which might explain some of Newton’s suspiciously carefree mood. “Besides, I barely even have that much shit here.”

This is patently untrue. Newton’s clothing is overflowing from his dresser; manga and monster action figures and vinyl records clutter up every inch of its top surface; there’s laundry under his bed, on his bed, his guitar picks on Hermann’s bedside table, dirty mugs on his own, half-finished reports and articles scattered over his desk… “Fine,” Hermann says. “But I haven’t finished, at any rate, so I won’t be joining you.”

Newton flops down next to him on his bed; the stopper on the opened champagne bottle wobbles dangerously, and Hermann moves quickly to push it in more firmly so he doesn’t have to add a load of bed linens to his To-Do list. “I think you need to unwind, roomie,” Newton says, grinning up at him. Both pairs of his glasses have slipped off his nose and onto Hermann’s bedspread. “We’ll have all day tomorrow after the dumb ceremony to pack, and you haven’t taken a break in, like, seven years. You’ve earned one.”

Hermann doesn’t want to take a break, or at least not in the way Newton is suggesting. Hermann wants to finish packing up his half of the room, then his designated workspace in the large k-science laboratory, and then take a shower to wash himself of the experience of being Newton Geiszler’s roommate and labmate for two years too many. Noticing his reticence, Newton adds, pleadingly, “Come for one hour? Just to do two shots with me? One shot?” He blinks, half-blind without his glasses, as if trying to discern whether or not Hermann looks likely to give in. “No shots? C’mon, Hermann, you owe me.”

“Owe you?” Hermann says, frowning.

Newton nudges him with the stack of plastic cups. “Y’know—for the sake of your ol’ penpal,” he says.

The reference to their letter-writing days jars Hermann, and despite his best efforts not to show it to Newton, his hand trembles as he deposits an unopened pack of white socks into his laundry box. He thinks it may be the first time either of them have brought it up in the entirety of their time at the Academy. It’s certainly the first time either of them have admitted to even the slightest notion of a shared history since—a week into their first year here, at an ice-breaking event for their kaiju-science peers—Newton had rolled his eyes exaggeratedly when someone attempted to introduce him to Hermann and said “Yeah, Dr. Gottlieb and I go wayyyy back.” Hermann did not admit so at the time, but the use of the honorific in place of his first name had been unexpectedly wounding—ridiculous of him, considering he made a point of referring to Newton in precisely the same way. Perhaps that little slip of the tongue had been why they were assigned as roommates scarcely a week later. An assumed friendship.

Hermann picks up Newton’s thick eyeglasses and carefully slips them back onto Newton’s upside-down face. Newton wrinkles his nose when Hermann’s thumb accidentally brushes against its tip. “I just don’t like parties very much, Newton,” he says. He’s not sure when Dr. Geiszler became Newton to him, or rather, became Newton to him again.

“Then we can do something together here,” Newton says.

He sits up and pushes the sealed champagne bottle at Hermann’s chest. “This is for you, anyway. Graduation present. Bury the hatchet, you know—odds are pretty fucking high we’re never gonna see each other again, so there’s no use hating each other forever.”

In spite of his better judgement, Hermann takes the champagne bottle. One drink won’t hurt him. And anyway, it might be a little relaxing—so long as it’s one drink only, because he still has an entire two years’ worth of research to pack away in his laboratory desk. “Do you know where you’re being assigned already, then?” he says. He was under the impression they wouldn’t find out until after the ceremony tomorrow—bit last minute, he supposes, but it’s not as if they’re making their own travel arrangements, and nearly all of their colleagues have already brought their families along with them to the Academy base.

“Nah,” Newton says, “but I wrote down a lot on my request form.” He motions for Hermann to hand him back the bottle, and he begins unscrewing the wire holding down the cork. “Tokyo—Peru—" He moves the bottle away from the bed as he pops it open with a grunt of effort, and a small bit of foam spills to the cement floor. Hermann grits his teeth and tries not to worry about cleaning it up later. “—Los Angeles. I worked on one of my PhDs in California, you know, a few weeks one July. Sea sponges. I learned how to scuba dive, I loved it—I think that’s one of the first things I’m gonna do if—once this is all over.”

He looks strangely maudlin as Hermann pours himself some champagne into one of the plastic cups and suffers through a sip. Too sweet. Hermann’s never liked sweet wines—bloody awful hangovers the next day, if one isn’t careful.

“Their entire ecosystem would be destroyed now, I guess,” Newton says. “Kaiju blue poisoning.”

“Whose?” Hermann says.

“The sea sponges’,” Newton says.

Hermann sips more of the champagne so he won’t have to respond. “I requested Anchorage,” he offers. Among plenty others, but he knows Newton will get a kick out of ribbing him for the dreary Alaskan climate. It seems to work—Newton lights up at once with a loud snort.

“Of course you did, ya weirdo,” he says. “Have fun freezing your ass off.” He takes a sip right from his bottle, then holds it out to Hermann. “Well, Hermann—you were an annoying lab partner, an even more annoying roommate, but a decent penpal, and I’m—well, I’m not gonna miss you, but I guess I can’t say I hate everything about you. Good luck with the jaegers. Good luck to whoever gets stuck with you next, actually, yikes, don’t envy them! Here’s to never seeing each other again.”

Hermann rolls his eyes, but knocks his plastic cup against Newton’s bottle. “Best of luck to you, as well,” he says. “And here’s to—well, surviving.”

“That’s cheerful,” Newton says.

They drink to their toast. Down the hall, someone puts on loud music to a chorus of equally loud cheers. Hermann reckons that’ll be Newton’s party. “You ought to head over there,” he says, turning briefly to glance at their door, which Newton has left cracked open. “Otherwise, they’ll miss—”

Newton kisses him.

Hermann doesn’t necessarily kiss back, but he doesn’t push Newton away, either. He’s more bewildered than anything. He might’ve expected this sort of thing to happen years ago—years, and years ago, before that dreadful first meeting in some dingy little Berlin coffee shop, back when a new letter from Dr. Geiszler slipped through his mail slot could make his heart thud like nothing else—but they’ve hardly been anything to each other but colleagues these past two years. Not even quite colleagues—that implies a civility they don’t possess. Professional academic rivals. He was under the impression that the man hated him, that the data when they underwent standard tests for drift compatibility was merely a fluke.

His empty cup falls from his hand and clatters to the floor. Newton slides a hand up Hermann’s jaw and keeps kissing him; he makes a small, needy noise into Hermann’s mouth.

“Newton,” Hermann finally mumbles. “What are you doing?”

Newton pulls back. A brilliant red flush is creeping steadily across his face, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times before anything comes out. “Oh, shit,” he says. “I didn’t mean—”

He stumbles to his feet. “Shit, dude, I’m sorry, I like—”

“Newton?” Hermann repeats. He feels about as dazed as Newton looks; he’s not quite sure what he’s meant to say. His lips are tingling from the kiss. “I—?”

“I’m gonna go to the party,” Newton stammers. “Sorry, dude, I—misread signals? I guess? Um—” He steps on Hermann’s forgotten cup and skids slightly, catching and righting himself on one of Hermann’s bed posts. The movement knocks Hermann’s cane (hooked there) to the floor, and Newton must bend down twice before he succeeds in picking it up. “Just—um—okay, bye.”

Hermann stares at the door for a long time after Newton leaves. Tomorrow marks the end of their two years cohabitating and working together—as Newton said, odds are high their paths will never cross again. Hermann had been counting down the days to their graduation in a little calendar he keeps pinned neatly to his wall, daydreaming endlessly of the first thing he would do once he was free from the suffocating cloud of Newton Geiszler’s presence—daydreaming of the like-minded non-Geiszlerian colleagues he would meet at his Shatterdome assignment, of a neat and orderly laboratory devoid of kaiju residue over every communal surface, of his own living quarters. He should be excited. He should be ecstatic.

Hermann touches his mouth and feels nothing but strange sort of hollowness in his chest—a black hole enveloping all else.

---

He doesn’t see Newton until their graduation ceremony the next day, an affair made all the more awkward by the seating chart’s alphabetical arrangement ensuring Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb will be knocking elbows for the full two hours. Newton is late by nearly twenty minutes, and rushes in with badly unkempt hair and a backwards tie: Hermann has a feeling he’d been lurking outside their quarters and waiting for Hermann to leave before he dared dart in to get himself ready. He wonders where Newton spent the night. He wonders why he even cares. Likely passed out on the rec room floor after the party, judging from the confetti stuck to his left cheek—or perhaps he’d finally made a move on the fellow kaiju-biologist Hermann recalls him extolling the physicality of on more than one occasion, and spent the night with him—or perhaps he did neither, and merely wandered the base for hours, sleep evading him as it’d so entirely evaded Hermann. They don’t acknowledge each other for the whole of the ceremony.

Hermann is summoned to the office of the jaeger science program head (a severe woman with short hair) later that evening, shortly after he finishes taping up his very last box of papers in the vacant laboratory. He’s handed a small manila folder containing the details of his Shatterdome assignment: Hong Kong, as it turns out. One of his requests. “Since you and Dr. Newton Geiszler have displayed a strong work ethic when partnered together,” the woman begins, “as well as a very high level of drift compatibility—”

Hermann’s eyes snap up from his folder to her face.

“—we’ll be assigning him to Hong Kong’s kaiju science division along with you, under the assumption that together you will only continue to produce positive results.”

“Pardon?” Hermann says, weakly.

Newton has finished boxing up a majority of his belongings when Hermann drags himself through the door to their quarters an hour later. He glances at Hermann briefly, embarrassedly, and says, in a small voice, “Hey, Hermann.”

“Newton,” Hermann says.

He walks over and sits down heavily atop the pile of sheets on his stripped bed. Something pokes at his thigh, and he sets aside his cane to fumble through the sheet bundle to discover what: Newton’s forgotten neon shuttered shades. The sight of them sends his stomach twisting up in knots. “Oh, hey,” Newton says, as he wraps a Godzilla action figure with bubble wrap. He nods at the manila envelope clenched between Hermann’s fingers. “Where are they shipping you off to? I’m going to Hong Kong—should be cool. I’ve never been before.” He places the little Godzilla in a carboard box. Newt - Junk! the side says in purple Sharpie. “My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon—you’re right, I definitely should’ve started packing earlier, I have no idea how I’m gonna get this all done by then.”

Hermann stares at Newton in poorly-concealed amazement as he continues to ramble on about how to pack up his instruments and whether or not they’ll let him bring his first-ever kaiju sample with him (he’s attached to it, even though he knows it’s technically the academy’s property, but maybe he can find a way to smuggle it out in his checked bags or something). Does he not know? Did they not tell him? How could they let this fall on Hermann? “Newton,” he says, slowly. “I’ve been assigned to Hong Kong, too.”

Newton freezes. “No fucking way,” he says.

[ill-skillsgard]

Bred For Blood - Part 19 - Promise-Promise

Title: Bred For Blood

Warning: 18+ - sex/mature language & themes/gun violence/substance abuse etc. *mentions of coma/unconsciousness, injuries, and sex in this part*

Characters: AU Axel Cluney, AU Ivar Lothbrok, AU Valter x OC

Description: A bright, young survivor meets an acid-gun slinging headhunter with a knack for melting faces and connections to a prodigal Utopia embedded in the heart of a deadly forest. Violence and passion incite a battle of fealty while betrayal nips at Zed’s heels.

Note: Sooo many feelings in this part, you guys. Next part will be the finale! My gosh, it’s actually coming. Stick around because it’s gonna be a doozy! Much love to all the readers who’ve waited patiently and shout out to any new readers who’ve taken the time to let me know their thoughts. I appreciate all the comments and reblogs forever! With that being said, please comment and reblog. It’d really make my day. XO

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

Zed waited for Vee next to the window overlooking the vast green ocean of vegetation. The sliver of sun painted the sky aflush, rolling west in shades of violet. Pinprick stars perforated the melting spectrum, and the phantom moon showed its impatient face fully before the horizon swallowed all light. It was a soothing array of scenery, and Zed rested her head on the glass until footsteps drew her attention to the door. She smiled as Vee came in carrying a plate of zucchini fritters and mashed chickpeas, returning the warm greeting silently.

"Hungry? Axel wasn't a fan. He wants a cheeseburger from McDonald's," said Vee, handing the platter to Zed.

She accepted the dish with a nod. "Did you tell him why that's not possible?"

Vee sighed. The dark beneath his eyes seemed permanent now. "I didn't get into detail. He wouldn't understand."

"Shouldn't we make him understand?"

"It's too soon. The big lug just woke up. It was a challenge just to get him to lie there. Soon he'll want to leave the lab, and I don't know how he'll fare around his adoring fans."

Zed bit into a greasy fritter and scooped a dollop of the paste with the leftover crescent. "He'll love the ego-boost, I'm sure."

"That's what I'm afraid of. All those people will confuse him. Who knows what that might do to his head. We're in a delicate situation."

"Axel seems to like me. Maybe I can convince him to stay put."

Vee grimaced from the thought of Axel working Zed over with his motoring mouth and crass sense of humour. The scientist had grown accustomed to nights alone with her, cooking together and discussing their future. The night they'd spent alone in the greenhouse rang in his heart; the night he admitted his feelings and begged her to squash them. The thought of her alone with Axel picked a scab he didn't know he had.

"You're worried about something," Zed said.

Vee snapped from his bittersweet reverie and sighed. "Am I ever not worrying?"

"True," Zed snorted. "Now, eat. I can't finish this all myself."

The pair finished the plate before Vee set the dish aside and motioned her to the sofa.

"We need to talk about what we found in Glott's notes. I know we can't test this theory, but we should treat it as the truth," said Vee.

"Okay, well, if that's how we're approaching this D negative blood sample... What's the next step? We have no medical supplies. I checked the med tent in the courtyard for the third time just for fun."

"Then we have to visit Glott and get some answers. And by we... I mean me."

"Valter—"

"I know you don't want me to leave, but what other option do we have? Every day we waste here is another step backward."

Zed shook her head until a thin braid dislodged from behind her ear and swung in her face. Vee resisted the urge to tuck it back. The girl's face swivelled toward the window, and she pondered and watched the premature stars twinkle across the bruised sky.

"We go together," Zed said firmly. "I won't budge on that."

"And what about Axel?"

"We wait until he's better. We'll need him to navigate the way."

"And if he never recovers?" Vee asked.

"Then we go anyway. All three of us. We get Axel better, and we go together."

Vee inhaled through his nose as Zed screwed her eyes into his. When he nodded, a smile unfurled across her face, shadowed by the last drops of brassy sunlight.

"I hate this plan, but I suppose it's all we have," said Vee.

"Promise we'll all stick together."

"Of course, Lea. I won't leave without you guys. Promise."

"Promise-promise?"

"I double promise with a cherry on top. Stick a needle in my eye and call it macaroni."

Zed stifled laughter beneath her palm. "I think you've been hanging out with Sam too much."

"That, or I'm just tired."

"I'll let you sleep now. You look beat."

Vee twisted his mouth in lopsided agreement. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna hit the shower first. Unless you want to?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll stay here a little longer," Zed said as she laid her temple against the cool glass and looked out over the forest floor, now drowning in the twilight.

~*~

In the morning, Zed left the apartment and padded down the hallway in her mismatched slippers. She slowed as she turned the corner and found the brothers talking. Axel's eyebrows were locked in a line, and Vee looked up at her with relief.

"Lea, can you help me explain to Axel why he can't leave the hospital room?"

Axel whipped the covers off his thighs. "This place is fuckin' weird, and I know you're lying to me. That doctor you had in here is a whack-job. Something isn't adding up."

"Stay put," Vee commanded.

Zed rubbed the sleep from her eyes and prepared to take both sides with a long breath. "Axel, your brother is right. You can't leave yet. Just stay a little longer and heal."

"Where the fuck am I, Vee? This isn't like any hospital I've ever been to. And why can't I use the phone to call mom and dad?"

Axel's question erased all the sleep Vee had gotten the night before. His fatigue was contagious. Zed approached the bed and brushed Axel's shoulder. The touch diffused the tension in his upper body and opened him up to a new explanation, one that hadn't come from his kid brother's mouth.

"There are no phones here, Axel. You're right... This place is different. We're missing a lot of things you’d consider normal."

"Look, darlin', I know you're just trying to make me feel better, but none of what you're saying makes any sense. What do you mean there's no phone? There's electricity, isn't there? So why can't I hobble my way to a pay phone or borrow someone's cell?"

Vee and Zed exchanged pained looks. The younger brother kneaded his brow and offered Axel the same explanation he had before, reworded. Axel refused to believe a word and scrambled off the gurney, throwing Vee's hands off him as he limped a few steps and realized his mistake.

"What the fuck is wrong with my foot? Did someone sliced my ankle in half? What is happening to me? I feel like I'm on an acid trip that never ends. I go to sleep and see crazy shit, only to wake up in an even crazier place where there're no phones and no fucking food! You're talking in goddamn riddles, Vee. The least you can do is get me a Baconator for my trouble! I can't walk—I can't even jerk off 'cause my good hand is fucked. You gotta help me out."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Axe? There are no restaurants!"

"Bullshit! Sweetheart, come on, you can help me, right? Can you please just grab me something greasy? I'll pay you back, I promise. I'm good for it."

"I wish I could help you, Axel, but Vee's right. There's nowhere to get stuff like that anymore."

"Anymore? What does that even mean? You guys are talking like I slept through the apocalypse or something!"

Zed turned to Vee, who blocked the way to the courtyard. "Come on, Axe. Just settle down, and get back into bed."

"Are you gonna find me some painkillers then?" Axel faltered toward the bed and hoisted himself onto the flat mattress with his right arm.

"I'll see what I can do, buddy, but will you promise to stay here for a little longer?"

"Whatever," Axel scoffed. "What else am I gonna do?"

Zed waited until Axel slid back under the covers and tilted his face away from them both to assess Vee's mood. She suspected Axel's recovery would be difficult. Still, when she pictured him with his eyes open again, she heard laughter and saw game nights, shared wine and inside jokes knitting them closer together—not disarray and a friend who'd forgotten her. And if Vee had left the day he championed himself, Axel wouldn't have any flagship of his past. The scientist's presence tranquillized her despite Axel's rotten mood fouling the atmosphere.

"You're hungry, Axel?" Zed asked.

"Starving."

"I'll try to track down something tasty to eat. It won't be a greasy burger, but maybe I can find you something close to fries. I'll make it myself if I have to."

Axel flipped his eyes to the girl standing with her arms knotted behind her back and smiled. "Oh, darlin'...You're a sweet thing. I'd hate to ask, so I'll just accept the offer. Or maybe Vee can go, and you and I can chat a little more?"

Zed chuckled at the man's slyness. "I have some other things to do. We’ll talk when I get back."

"Don't rush for me, honey, but if you do, I'll take it as a good sign," Axel said with a wink.

At the cost of one of her knit blankets, Zed found someone in Athena to chop and bake a sweet potato in peanut oil. She bartered for garlic and salt to sprinkle on the dish. The redheaded child spotted her making transactions and stopped her at the mouth of the Hives with a cloth of fermented cashew cheese and a large chunk of bread that sat out overnight but was still soft. She offered the foodstuffs to Axel on a thin wood slab, and he accepted with an obsequious grin. He relinquished his dissatisfaction and warmed next to Zed.

"Aw, darlin', look at you go. How can I thank you for your trouble?" Axel asked as he chomped a crispy strand of sweet potato.

Zed stepped back from his bed, blushing. "It's okay, Axel. You don't have to do anything but get better."

"Will you stay with me for a while? If I have to stay in bed, it'd really make my life easier if I have someone to talk to. That is if you don't mind my chattiness."

"Sure. Let me grab a chair from the apartment," said Zed.

Axel finished his meal quickly, and as if he hadn't eaten at all, felt the pang of hunger moments after the last bite of bread. His appetite woke up ravenous, and no amount of homegrown food could satiate the growl.

"I might need to eat again in an hour," Axel informed as Zed dragged the chair across the floor. “I’m a big boy, you know.”

"That's fine. I'll find you something in a little while ."

The injured man nodded and sighed, eyelashes fluttering over tired green eyes. A bloated silence proceeded, and Zed wondered how to initiate a conversation. Vee told her not to confuse Axel with present-day news, but all she wanted to do was ask about Richard Glott's underground bunker and with who he'd crossed paths that left him slashed and maimed.

After a couple of deep breaths, Axel murmured, "I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep. Is that strange?"

Zed hid her shy smile behind her palm. "Oh, stop."

Axel shimmied his torso higher on the bed and frowned in pain. "No, seriously. Not trying to be slick, honey. I see the most fucked up things when I sleep. You know the kind of dreams so vivid, you wake up and your heart’s pounding, thinking it's all real for a minute? Then you're like... No way."

Zed shifted closer to Axel's bed. "What do you dream about?"

Axel smiled to himself. "You, mostly... Us. You and me doing crazy shit together. Sometimes I'm in the desert, and I see this airplane in the distance. It's on the ground, and I ride toward it, you know, you're not gonna ignore a crashed plane, right? Then I find you there, but these guys are hurting you, and you're going nuts trying to shake 'em, but there's too many, so I shoot 'em all, and they melt like popsicles. You stab one good, though."

"What else?" Zed asked.

"I dunno... Sometimes it's just me and you cruising through the desert, and I get the feeling you hate me, but I kinda like it. I'm happy you're there, even though we're in the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea what's gonna happen next."

"Sounds like some pretty weird dreams."

"They're so lucid. It's like a movie, and I'm the main character, and you're... Well, you. Like my cool sidekick."

"Sidekick, huh?" Zed scoffed.

"Yeah, you have this air about you that's like not to be fucked with. Then things always get real dark. I don't even want to tell you about it 'cause you'll think I'm fucked in the head."

Zed knew this part of the story and lowered her eyes to the floor. "It's okay. You can tell me if you want. It's just dreams, right?"

"Nah, I'll just leave it at that. It's not sex stuff or anything if you're wondering."

"Your dreams are more entertaining than anything I have going on today."

With Zed's green light, Axel inhaled deeply before launching into the story of their past. Before he uttered another syllable, a severed connection sparked in his head. His eyes grew large, and he looked around the makeshift hospital room, awestruck.

"In my dreams, we're trying to get to Vee. He needs us for some reason."

"What does he need?"

"Some science shit, which makes total sense because he's a scientist. He's actually a scientist, and not just in my dreams."

"Axel... These dreams you've had... Do you think they have significance?" Zed asked carefully.

"Totally. They have to. Right? Or am I fucking crazy?"

"You're not crazy, Axel. I promise."

"But what if I am? This place... I get such a bad feeling when I'm awake in this room by myself. Vee won't tell me where we are. It's like he's hiding something, and he never lies to me about anything. We don't do that."

"Vee just wants you to get better. He's under a lot of stress, and your recovery is a big part of that. We didn't think—he didn't think you'd make it through. Another complication is the last thing you guys need."

Axel went quiet again and fixated on the dust motes and bolts of lightning crackling up his leg. A storm grew behind his eyes, the same torrents Zed saw when she tried to stop him from leaving Kinderfeld and her behind. Sickened by the thought of Axel sneaking off, she touched his arm and offered a warm smile.

"Talk to me, Axel. Please. Don't keep anything inside."

Axel glanced at her small hand on his tattooed bicep and the lightning in his body faded.

"We were friends in a past life," Axel claimed.

"We're friends in this life."

"Can I tell you one other thing, then I promise I'll stop talking about my bonkers dreams?"

"Yes. I don't mind at all."

Axel curled his bicep and touched Zed's fingers, feeling the motion out until she grasped his hand.

"I think I have to take you somewhere."

"Oh, yeah?" Zed giggled. "And where's that?"

Axel blushed for the first time and brought her hand to hold next to him on the bed. "Not like on a date or anything. I just get this feeling that I'm supposed to protect you, even though you seem capable of looking after yourself just fine. This dream voice keeps reminding me to stay with you and Vee... Like I'm not allowed to let either of you out of my sight. Especially not you."

"Then don't," Zed said.

He squeezed her fingers gently. "I won't."

~*~

Word of Axel's consciousness seeped out of the lab and into the village. Nobody knew who had made the discovery—Vee blamed Samson while Zed suspected Nalani, who'd waltzed by the lab doors at a suspiciously slow pace several times each day—and leaked the information. They barred visitors and only allowed the doctor in to help change Axel's bandages until Ivar arrived.

Axel was alone, humming a tune from his teenage years when the king came through the doors and stopped to stare at his bed-ridden friend.

"Zee, you're awake? And no one thought to tell me?"

"Sorry, hombre, but I think you have the wrong room. Name's Axel."

Ivar flashed all his sharp teeth in a sly smile and wagged his finger. "Always a joker."

"No, really," Axel chuckled, then went deadpan. "Wait... Who are you?"

Before Ivar spoke, Vee walked into the lab and froze when he saw Ivar standing a few feet from Axel's bed.

"Ivar. I wasn't expecting you."

The king sneered and motioned toward Axel. "What's with this guy?"

"Hey, maybe we can talk for a second?" Vee invited Ivar down the hall, out of earshot.

Ivar glared at the scientist. "When exactly were you planning on telling me he woke up?"

"That's the thing, Ivar. You don't understand... Axel's suffering from amnesia. It's common for coma patients to lose parts of their memory. Right now, he's in a very touchy state. He has no idea where he is, who you are, or what any of this is. I've tried to keep people away from him to avoid confusion, but now everybody knows. It's not good for him. Subjecting him to all this new information can cause anxiety, panic... Who knows. We're trying to ease him back into life."

"What do you mean he doesn't know who I am? I'm his best friend."

"Trust me. Axel doesn't even remember serving in the army."

"That's crazy. We should tell him—"

"No. It's too big of a shock. Axel's already gone through hell. Imagine trying to explain our world to somebody who has virtually no idea what's happened in the last couple of years."

Ivar pondered and didn't respond to Vee's relief, then sighed as though he accepted the explanation.

"So what does this mean for you? I assume you're retracting your claim and staying in Kinderfeld?"

Vee twisted his mouth to the side. "How can I go now?"

"You volunteered."

"That was before Axel came home. He needs me. I'm the only person he recognizes. Give me some more time with him, get him back on his feet and see if he'll start remembering, then I'll go."

Ivar crossed his arms across his burly chest. "Who knows how long that might take?"

"Would you leave someone you loved in that state?"

"I'd do what's for the greater good."

"He's your best friend. He's my brother. Axel needs us right now, Ivar. Think of all he's done for us. We owe it to take care of him until he's fit to at least walk again. I need him to remember what happened so I can get a better idea of what's going on outside."

"I suppose you're right," Ivar conceded. "You can't go out blind by yourself."

"Yes, you're right," Vee said with great relief.

"So what now? I can't talk to him?"

"You can speak to him if you like, but try not to bring up things that might confuse him. Don't talk about the army or mention recent times."

Ivar looked over his shoulder at the apartment's open door and heard the muted humming of a girl filtering through the corridor.

"And how's Lea taking all of this?"

Vee stiffened. "She's helping out."

"Axel has no idea who she is? He really doesn't know what's happened?"

"Not that I can tell. He keeps asking for cheeseburgers and to call our parents."

"Wow," Ivar whispered.

"Yeah, it's hard."

Ivar went quiet, distant, and shook his head slowly before inhaling through his nose and squeezing Vee's shoulder. "I trust you, brother. Maybe we'll talk more about your expedition in a few days when things have a chance to settle with Axel."

"You got it."

Axel pretended he wasn't trying to listen to the conversation between his brother and the brown-haired man with the striking blue eyes when the pair returned. Ivar nodded at Axel, his eyes awash with sympathy for the indisposed man.

"How are you feeling, Axel?"

"A little on the shitty side, my man. Not gonna lie. Hands busted, foot's bum... Can't fuck my way to a decent meal in this place, and everyone's tiptoeing around like I'm a sleeping baby. Gotta say I've had better days."

"Well, I hope you heal up quick. There are a lot of people who want to see you."

A coy smirk unfurled over Axel's face. "Yeah, I kinda get that impression. Sometimes, I see people looking in through those doors. I feel like a panda at a zoo. Everyone wants a peek at little ol’ Axel, huh?"

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"Cheeseburger?" Axel asked hopefully.

"Would if I could, friend."

"Goddamn it," Axel lamented.

Vee widened his eyes when Ivar looked at him, confirming what they'd discussed in the hallway.

"Say, how do you stay so beefy if there's no meat in this place?" Axel asked Ivar.

"I get my protein where I can. Try to stay fit. I'll get someone to bring you something good to eat."

Axel snorted. "Yeah, that's what that sweet-lookin' one said, but everything tastes like tree bark. No offence to her. She tried her best, and I'd never insult a lady's cooking to her face."

Ivar sucked in his bottom lip and nodded. "Well, I'll see what I can do for you, Axel. Get better soon."

Vee held his breath until Ivar left the lab and shrunk once the doors closed.

"You sure have a way with words, don't you?"

"Everyone who walks in here acts like they know me."

"We might have to move you to the apartment. Put a cap on your visitors."

"Who was that?" Axel asked.

"That's Ivar Lothbrok. He kinda runs things, in a sense."

"Nice guy."

Vee scoffed. "Yeah. Nice."

An itch stuck in the back of Axel's head, and he grew quiet once again, trying to unravel the mystery he'd woken up inside. He was a figure in a snow globe, a permanent fixture in a landscape rife with faces he'd seen in dreams. Sitting up in his bed, Axel wondered what laid beyond the confines of his glasshouse. Never one to follow the rules, even under the firm guidance of his smart younger brother, Axel decided once everyone fell asleep, he'd find himself a walking post and go exploring.

~*~

Zed woke to the sound of Vee's soft snoring coming through the open door of his bedroom. The possibility of sleep retracted with every second she spent staring at the smooth, globular ceiling in the dark, trying to make shapes out of the dream residue behind her eyelids. The sofa stiffened her back, and she twisted her spine until air bubbles popped and her muscles strained from the motion. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and squeezed her eyes shut for a few minutes, but Axel's stories followed her from sleep, brushing up on her with sharp quills. Since Axel painted his dream world, she hadn't stopped thinking of him and mourning the loss of his memory for the both of them. Axel didn't know his missing pieces were dancing under his eyes each time he slumbered, and she longed to stitch them together to create the full picture.

She squinted into the darkness, fatigue long since faded, and left the apartment. Light on her bare feet, Zed padded down the hallway and turned the corner to find an empty bed. Her heart twinged from Axel's absence. She considered going back to the apartment to tell Vee his brother was missing but found herself propelled to seek Axel out herself. There was nowhere in the lab a man of Axel's stature could hide, so she went out to the courtyard to begin her search. The floodlights cast pyramids of light over the foothills but revealed nothing but stone paths and glittering grass ranks. She started left first, then changed her mind and shot right toward the warehouse. Zed minded her steps as she picked up a jog, extending her legs to clear the roiling yards until she reached the square entrance of the warehouse. A guard leaned against the steel wall next to the exit, blinking and wiping a hand over his face to rouse himself. He saw Zed across the cement expanse and stood up straight.

"What're you doing out here?" The guard's voice clattered through the chamber.

"Sorry," Zed said, casting a thorough glance around before retreating into the light and shadow of the courtyard again. She rushed to the Hives, taking quick strides to reach her abandoned apartment before anyone else noticed her. After a quick knock, Zed opened the door to find her former living quarters as deserted as ever. Nobody had claimed the space in her absence, nor was Axel's adjoining apartment occupied. Both rooms were empty.

Zed's search for Axel continued and grew in urgency with each lonely cove and space she found. As she made her way around the central dome where the courtyard bordered the largest hill, she stopped at the mouth of the Chrysalis and addressed the men standing guard.

"Have either of you seen someone limping through here?"

"Nobody's come 'round here, Zed. Who're you looking for?"

Zed cocked her head. "Who do you think?"

"You mean Zee?" The man on the right asked. "Thought he was paralyzed."

"So it's true? He's awake?"

"Please don't tell anyone. Not yet."

The bearded guard rose a dark eyebrow at Zed. He was one of Ivar's highest-ranking patrol. Zed recognized him from the night they'd brought in the Zeronaut captain, Monk. He often stood by wherever Ivar went and didn't talk much unless addressed. "Ivar know about this?"

"I don't know what Ivar knows. Vee communicates with him, but we're trying to keep this from the general public."

"What do you think, Fen? Should we tell Ivar?" The scrawny, clean-shaven guard asked.

Fen sneered and told his partner to close his mouth before angling his torso toward Zed. "We'll keep an eye out, petite fleur."

Zed nodded and continued on her way, but there were few more spots Axel could hide unless someone had intercepted him and invited him into their hovel. She thought of Nalani, who often wandered the courtyard at odd hours and Trinity, who adored Axel and might jump at the opportunity to lead him to a private alcove. The two of them shared living space in Athena. Zed wanted to keep the search party light, and asking around would only spread curiosity like wildfire.

She continued touring the courtyard, her naked soles sore from hurried walking. Finally, she stopped at the greenhouse gate, its series of coiling iron bars and metal flowers welded to the columns in intricate clusters. Zed lifted the latch and pushed the gate open, taking care to shut it quietly. The greenhouse where the citizens grew aloe and berries was the little-known getaway spot Axel and Vee coveted as their private paradise. Zed zigzagged through the raised beds, taking care not to trip over the irrigation hoses and climbed the wooden steps at the back of the third square house. Around another corner and through the thick blackberry bushes nestled in rectangles of sodden earth, Zed rushed to the spot under the sky where the light poured in but found nothing.

"Shit," she whispered, out of breath and reeling in the thick, tepid air.

Zed looked up to the cloudless velveteen sky, crushing disappointment wringing her heart. In a throng of shadow off to the right, a figure shifted and startled the woman backward.

A tired voice called her name.

The shady form lengthened, struggling to stand. Once it stood at its full height, the vice pressing Zed's chest disappeared. Axel hobbled into view, using the overhead pipes to help himself along.

"Axel! There you are. Oh my God, you had me so worried. Why did you leave the lab?"

"The lab? Is that where you've been keeping me?"

Zed clapped her palm over her mouth. Axel gave an elongated nod, eyes wide and accusatory.

"Is that what I am? Some kind of experiment?"

"No, Axel—"

"What are you and Vee doing? Tell me why he's keeping me locked up. Tell me where the fuck I am, Lea. Please. This place... Something about it seems wrong. It scares me."

Axel wilted against a plant bed as Zed approached and caught his elbow to keep him upright.

"Axel, don't be scared. Please, I promise you're safe. We're not trying to keep you captive. This is all difficult to explain, and you were asleep for so long parts of your memory are missing. Vee's only trying to make it easier for you to cope."

"Cope with what, Lea? Cope with the fact I'm a prisoner? That I can't sleep because my nightmares are so vivid, I feel like I'm dying? That people watch me like some sideshow freak?"

"Everything," Zed sighed. "The new world. How can we explain all this to someone who woke up in the past?"

Axel looked up through the skylights and whimpered. "Something terrible has happened, hasn't it?"

Zed, wounded from the dejection in her friend's voice, led Axel to sit on the floor, then sat next to him and draped her arms over his shoulders, resting her cheek on the thin cotton shoulder strap of his tank top.

"I wish I could say you're wrong, but I can't lie to you, Axe."

"My instincts were right. Something is very wrong. After that Ivar fella came through, I started getting this feeling you all weren't telling me something on purpose."

"Don't be angry with us, Axel. We didn't know how to tell you."

Axel leaned his head on Zed's and sought her hand to hold. She slid her fingers through his and gripped tightly. "It's okay. I get it now. I'm supposed to be here. You and me... We're meant to be together. Otherwise... Why would I see you every time I close my eyes?"

"Axel," Zed whispered. "I missed you so much when you left. I thought I'd never see you again. Now everything is different."

"I'm sorry. If I hurt you back then... I didn't mean it."

"Just don't leave me again. Please. I can't fool myself into happiness without you in my life."

"I won't leave. I can't."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Lea."

"Promise-promise?"

Axel chuckled and kissed the top of Zed's head before laying his cheek on the ruts of her braids. "Yeah. I promise-promise."

~*~

Axel and Zed laid on the floorboards and watched the stars twinkling above while the chamber filled with water vapour, obscuring the glass until the condensation evaporated. When the infinite black sky lightened to meteorite violet, Axel used Zed as a crutch to stand up. He stole a fistful of blackberries, stuffing the fruits in his mouth and mashing them until inky juice seeped from the corners of his lips. He complained about his ankle, which he'd suffered walking on during his solo excursion to the greenhouses. Zed berated him for wandering off and helped him down the steps and through the rows of potato plants, arms locked, their pace slow to accommodate Axel's injury.

A murmur greeted the pair as they approached the iron gate. A dozen villagers gathered around the entrance to witness Axel emerge with smiles on their faces. Frozen from the elated faces beaming at him, Axel pulled on Zed's arm, alerting her to the hoard of onlookers.

"Who are they?" Axel asked.

"Zee! Happy you're awake!"

"What happened to your arm, Zee? Are you okay?"

"He looks terrible."

Zed opened the gate, and the crowd dented but didn't part. "Make room, please!"

"We want to talk to Zee!"

Axel then realized the group addressed him, their wide eyes drinking in his bruised and broken state with smiles unfitting his poor condition. An overwhelming sense of worry touched his skin, and he grabbed for Zed to lead him, but they huddled around the gate until a tall head of blond hair sliced the crowd in half. Vee shouldered past, his eyes hooded and brow furrowed.

"Axel! Lea! What the hell are you doing out here? Lea, did you let him out?"

Zed frowned and drew her shoulders up. "Of course not! I'm the one who came looking for him."

"Let's go. Come on, now. Everyone make way. Go back home!" Vee barked.

"We want answers! What's happening outside the walls?"

"We'll answer your questions later," Vee said disdainfully. "Lea, help me get him back."

The trio staggered to the lab, breathless from the trek over the bowing foothills. Vee waited until they were behind closed doors to deliver a speech about how irresponsible and defiant Axel was, how his behaviour might cause unwanted ripples where the scientist required placidity. Axel hoisted himself into bed and accepted his lecture, sullen and quiet, occasionally glancing at Zed, who also wrung her wrists.

"I told you not to leave the room, Axe. Why? Why can't you listen to me for once in your goddamn life?" Vee asked.

"You're not my mommy, Valter. I can do what I want, and frankly, I don't appreciate you keeping secrets from me!"

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb. You've lied to me this whole time! About where we are, what's happened to me. I think you know much more than you lead on."

Vee scoffed and looked to Zed for reassurance. The girl stood still with her shoulders hunched.

"Lea, help me out here."

"Well, Vee... Maybe it's time we tell him everything. There's no use hiding the truth anymore. He already knows something's wrong."

"Yeah!" Axel cried. "I'm done sitting around twiddling my thumbs. You have to tell me what's up. How did I get like this? What the fuck happened to me, and why can't I remember anything? I don't know how I got here or who all those people are out there."

"That's the thing, Axe... We don't know what happened to you. You left, and when you came back, you were unconscious and hurt. We don't leave this place, so I can't tell you anything more than that. I didn't know if you'd wake up and certainly didn't know you'd have amnesia when you did."

Axel turned to Zed for verification, and she nodded her head regretfully.

"It's true, Axel. I wish we could tell you more."

"Then at least tell me where I am. Start there," Axel demanded.

Vee and Zed stood speechless for a moment until she sighed deeply. "Vee, maybe we should give him the postcards and his journals."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're right, Lea. Go get the box. Tonight's gonna be a long one."

Zed hauled the box of postcards and dog-eared journals into the lab and hefted it onto the foot of Axel's bed. Vee unpinned the postcards from the corkboard and offered them to Axel with a pinched smile. Zed sat in her chair while Vee laid on the floor, a long arm slung over his eyes as Axel began to read aloud from his workbooks. The three of them listened to the stories Axel had penned years before while he was in the infantry as if none of them had heard the tales. From time to time, Axel stopped narrating and glided over the lines, taking in details he should have known, but couldn't place. During these silences, Zed and Vee would look up at him to assess his emotions, whether or not the words shifted the pieces into place or made any difference at all.

Axel took in a strained breath. "Ivar and I aren't talking. He wants to be the leader on this ship, and if things don't go his way, he turns into a giant douche-nozzle," he broke into giggling at his insult. "I haven't eaten in three days, and the water supply is low. We're down to a cup a day each. It's not enough, but it's gotten us through so far. One of the guys got sick, and they've taken him below deck. He throws up constantly even though there's nothing in his gut and howls all night in agony. I swear to God I'll shoot him in the head tomorrow if he doesn't let us sleep tonight. Someone needs to put him out of his misery."

Zed grimaced, and Vee stared at the ceiling with dry eyes, unflinching from the story.

"Day six... I now know what rat meat tastes like."

"Oh, god. Ew," Zed mumbled.

Axel continued without pause. "It's not that bad when you haven't eaten in almost a week. I've set up more traps in the galley to catch the rest. If Ivar plays his cards right, I might share my rats with him, but he's still a stuck-up twat.

I'm not sure how the rats are surviving. Maybe there's food still hidden somewhere on the ship. Maybe they're eating each other."

"This must have been when you were on your way back to America...Or... Whatever you want to call this half of the world now," Vee said.

"What do you mean?" Asked Axel.

"The Unity... The government... They abolished the borders, erased the country names and burned the history books. The states became part of the North-Western Hemisphere. Same with Canada and all that. No countries. No names."

Axel seemed to accept his brother's explanation that nothing would ever be as before. The commune in which he now resided was the only tangible place left in existence. Outside the walls lay sites changed from war, stripped of home and heritage. A tightness in Axel's neck prevented him from speaking until the revelations grew too heavy for him to bear.

"What happened to everyone else?" Axel asked.

"It's hard to say," Vee whispered, then cleared his throat. "A lot of people died."

"How many?"

"Billions," Zed said.

"You mean... We're the only ones left?"

"No, we're not. There are other survivors out there, people who were meant to live through the storms."

"Storms?"

Vee sighed, the farfetched nature of their fates exhausting him before he began. "The Unity developed a way to return the planet back to its natural state. No more electronic communication, no more broadcasts or satellites or TV. After the extinctions reached an all-time high, they introduced these plants that could suck the pollution from the air quickly. They grow extremely fast and are lethal to anyone who wasn't vaccinated against the spores. One plant can release a spore cloud big enough to cover half a football field, and they breed and multiply like vermin. Even a small cluster can kill a stadium of unimmunized people in a few minutes."

"But why would they do this? Have I been vaccinated?"

Axel's questions ripped holes in Vee’s composure. Zed's stomach churned and flipped as the scientist fished for the least aggressive explanation. A gloss came over his eyes, and he avoided his brother's bewildered stare.

"No, Axe. You're not."

"Oh... Are you?" Axel whispered.

"Yeah, I am. So is Lea."

"Why? Why didn't I get vaccinated?"

"You were lost at sea with your platoon for weeks, and before that, you were overseas. They didn't immunize the troops."

"Are you telling me the government wants us all to die?"

"Most of this is widely debated. There are some theories that the Unity had a strategy in mind."

Zed lent the scientist a hand and cut the heavy topic with a smile. "Axel, you're much more special than you know. Those people out there all adore you because of what you've done for Kinderfeld. You were the only one brave enough to go out when they needed supplies. People know your name not only here but out in the world. I've seen you fight and shoot. You're a natural."

"Well, yeah. I've been shooting guns since I was a kid."

"You were a special ops sniper. More than just a good shot."

Axel warmed to the compliment. "And what about you? Are you the mercenary of my dreams?"

Zed blushed and failed to hide her pride. "Not a mercenary... But I've murked a few Scavs in my day."

"Man... I like you," Axel tittered. "Ain't she great, Vee? What a prize."

For the few seconds of silence that passed, Vee's expression darkened. He recognized the reverence pulling Axel's features, the heartfelt way Lea relaxed when they spoke. Even in the absence of memory, Axel and Zed forged a bond too strong to pry apart. He would never wish ill upon his brother, but he mourned the days past with the woman whose eyes shone like vats of golden syrup passing under the morning light. At the risk of sharing a likeness with Ivar, the king who could never quite capture the woman's love, Vee thought of what life might have been like had Axel never returned. Would Zed love him? Could she? Had he ever toed the waters of her unspoken affection? Vee cursed his stupidity the night he told her how he felt and quickly dismantled his chances before she had the opportunity to consider him more than a close friend.

As Zed stared at Axel upright in his bed with his journals splayed out around him, Vee knew it was too late to rescind his platonic claim. A victim of his own sabotage, the scientist turned from them and pushed out every last ounce of breath to make room for another stale intake.

"I think it's time I showed Axel the Crimson Yawn."

Zed nodded and left the brothers, sensing a gloomy air rising between them. Vee was much better at explaining the inexplicable. He delivered news with a needed bluntness, one Zed had never mastered. Once she left the lab searching for distractions, Vee helped his brother box up the journals and offered his elbow to guide Axel back on his feet. Amid the bleak news, Axel had almost forgotten the pain in his extremities.

They waddled to the locked chambers where the bulk of Vee's scientific discoveries came to light. Axel squinted against the bright white walls and polished floor as he followed his brother through a series of doors leading to a clear dome similar to the greenhouses he'd found, only this hollow contained a twisted swarm of redheaded plants, mouths bloody and agape. Each one stood over seven feet tall and lifted its black-spotted maw to the sky in a silent scream. Axel turned from them.

"I've seen these before, but never this many. In my dreams, there's always one growing in a container."

"You recognize them?"

"And you say these things can kill me? How is it possible?" Axel asked.

"They're a sophisticated hybrid plant. They release spores like mushrooms, and those spores become airborne. If you breathe them in, they attack your blood, soaking up the nutrients and essentially turning it into a highly acidic jelly. You burn from the inside out. Well...Dissolve is a better word."

"And you've brought me here why!?" Axel shouted, dodging backward and planting too much weight on his bad ankle.

"Don't worry! They can't hurt you from in here. The filtration system's design protects everything inside."

"I still have a hard time believing all this. You know how crazy it sounds, right?"

Vee clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Oh, I realize. Why do you think it took me so long to break the news? You try finding a delicate way to explain this to someone who just came out of a coma."

Axel became transfixed on the plants again after Vee's assurance. He shuffled to the glass and studied the roaring heads, each one slightly different than its neighbour. They resembled demons, bizarre red monsters with thick necks and broad leaves of wax. Their spiked roots toiled in the ground, gnarled and tangled in a hellish orgy above and beneath the soil. Beyond the ranks, Axel saw the roiling jungle and all its hues of green and black. The sun broke through parts in the towering trees. How he longed to feel the wind on his burnt skin and walk among the flora. Axel observed the plants for a few minutes as Vee stepped back and allowed him time to digest.

"Am I in a nightmare?" Axel met his brother's eyes and did not blink.

"Some might say that. And I'm sorry. I've dedicated my life to making things better for the survivors, but there's nothing left I can do. All we have now is the village and each other."

"And mom and dad?"

"They're gone, Axe. They've been gone a while."

The tattooed man swallowed bitterly and nodded as a wall of tears blinded him. Vee touched his brother's shoulder and shared his pain through the comforting gesture. Axel crossed his chest with his good hand and patted Vee's fingers.

"Do you mind if I spend some time alone? This is... It's just a lot."

"Of course. Take all the time you need, Axe. I'll leave the doors unlocked. You good to walk?"

Axel's voice floated below a whisper. "I’ll manage."

~*~

In the apartment, Zed held her arms out before her and swung them in half-circles, stretching her muscles in preparation for another stiff night spent on the sofa. Vee came in after dinner and found Zed flinging her limbs outward.

"Nightly aerobics?" He asked with a touch of humour, the most he could muster after a day of harsh truths.

"Just stretching out before bed. My back's been killing me."

"Oh," Vee's green eyes popped open wide. "Don't sleep on the couch, Lea. You can take the bed tonight."

"Nah, it's okay."

"No, really. I insist. You deserve a night without hanging off the edge of the cushions."

"Then where will you sleep?" She asked.

"The couch."

Zed laughed at the idea. "You're far too tall to fit comfortably."

"I've passed out there dozens of times. Don't worry about me, really. Take the bed."

"Why're you being so nice, huh?" Zed snorted.

"I've seen you in pain the last few days, and I feel bad. It's rude of me to have one of the biggest beds in this place when I don't do anything to deserve it."

"Oh, shush," Zed jested. "You've done more for this place than anyone."

"There's always the Chrysalis."

The good humour in the room vanished with Vee's maladroit suggestion. Zed shook her head and scoffed. "I'm not going to the Chrysalis. I want to stay here with you guys."

"Fine by me. You'll take the bed tonight then. Grab your blankets and go."

Zed and Vee swapped bedding and wished each other goodnight. Though she deemed herself undeserving of the luxury, when Zed crawled onto Vee's large bed and spread her limbs from corner to corner, her skin bristled with goosebumps. The scent of the sheets belonged to the man outside the room, sprawled on the sofa, long legs dangling over the arm—cotton and boyish musk, the redolence Zed had grown accustomed to except in this moment. Lying on the mattress reminded her of the hugs and closeness she'd received from Vee when Axel had fled.

She relived their days together in clips of happy memories and some not so joyful. Across the apartment, Vee recalled the same night playing in Zed's mind—their evening in the greenhouse when they'd held hands, so close together yet barred by the promises of friendship. Vee cursed himself repeatedly while Zed entertained the idea of getting together with the scientist.

Soon, Zed's thoughts slid over the night she'd spent with Ivar. If she concentrated, she could feel the fullness between her legs still. Ivar had made love to her the way couples did in films. He'd stroked her and kissed her skin, took her nipples gently between his lips and sucked until she giggled. What might have excited some left her shivering. Was one of the brothers more deserving of her love? Was she foolish to think herself so desirable her attention was a coveted badge of excellence?

What a prize!

Lea... I want you to tell me no, right now.

It's like you were made for me.

With her heart racing, Zed turned over in bed and clamped her eyes shut. Debating which of the three men in her life she wanted more made her stomach flip, yet she couldn't keep the lewd considerations from pouring into her head. In these fantasies, she replaced Ivar with Vee. Yes, he was smart and gentle and keen on her, but he'd told her not to let him cross the line, claimed he didn't want her that way despite his feelings. Vee's kind face took the place of Ivar's, coasting down her stomach, stamping her thighs with kisses from luscious lips. She squeezed her legs together and let the inevitable shift knock Vee from the picture to make room for his older brother.

The tattooed man with all his addictions and his looming depression positioned himself between her knees and grasped her ankles delicately. A murderer and womanizer leaned over her body, caging her with long limbs decorated with sparrows, weapons, chains and barbed wire.

We're meant to be together. I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep.

Zed bit her lip when the phantom sensation invaded her. She knew not how Axel would moan or if he'd coo and sigh the way Ivar had when they had sex. She wanted very much to think Axel would treat her with respect and scorned the claims Trinity had made about his wild side. Then the obscene journal entries came to life, glowing, fanned by salacious visions. What if she didn't want to make love? What if she wanted to be taken hard and fast by a man who worshiped her? Guilt and arousal mixed in her chest and sat heavy, grinning evilly like a demon poised to possess her body.

Sleep wriggled through Zed's conjurations and pulled her under before she realized she was slipping into blackness. The cozy bed and Vee's sheets lulled her, and soon, she dreamed of ordinary things, forgetting her personal stash of pornographic thoughts. She slipped further as the moon made a lazy arc through the night sky until something touched her shoulder and jarred her from sleep with a sharp gasp.

Her scream ripped through the apartment, sending her waker toppling out of bed.

"Lea? Oh, fuck. Fuck!"

"Axel?"

In the dimness, neither of them saw each other but tasted each other's heavy breath. Soon the light snapped on, and Vee stood at the door, chest heaving.

"What the hell is going on?" Vee asked. "Axel? What're you doing?"

"Christ, I thought Zed was you. I just came to... Well, I couldn't sleep," Axel cringed. "Shit, my hand. Fuck, I landed like a sack of bricks."

Vee snickered, setting off a series of giggles. "You came to sleep in my bed?"

"I didn't mean to scare you, Lea."

"It's all right," said Zed. "Really. On any other night, it would have been Vee in here."

Axel pulled himself up by the elbows and sat on the edge of the bed, grimacing from the agony of his agitated wounds. "Sorry, guys. It's hard to sleep out there. People are watching me."

Zed scooted over and patted the part of the mattress warm from her body. "Come on. Lie down. I think we could all use a sleepover after the day we've had."

"You're not serious," Vee said with a scoff as his brother took up Zed's offer and laid down next to her.

Zed nodded with conviction. "Absolutely. You too, Valter. Turn off the light and get over here."

He rolled his eyes as he flipped the light switch. "This is hardly a three-person bed."

"Well, cuddle up, pal."

"Lea takes up a fraction of the bed, anyway," Axel pointed out.

"Is this not weird to you? Three adults sharing a bed?"

Zed moved to the center as Vee climbed into bed from the left. To her right, Axel had already sprawled and turned over to face her in the dark.

"It's no stranger than how half the people in this place sleep all piled on top of each other. Humans were meant to nest. In the wild, this is how we'd sleep."

"Yeah, but we're not in the wild," said Vee.

"Yes, we are, little brother. Have you seen it outside? We're literally in glass bubbles, in the middle of a rainforest. Now shut up, and go to sleep."

"You shut up."

"Guys?" Zed chimed.

"Yeah?" The brothers answered.

"I love you both.”

Robbed of their voices, Axel and Vee set aside their bickering to bask in the genial haze of Zed's words. Axel shifted an inch closer while Vee laid stiffly on his side, eyes wide in the dark. As though her claim was bathed in wine, they soaked in the meaning and slipped drunkenly into slumber.

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[prettyyoungtragedy]

You and I, Just the two of us - Chapter 1

You and I, just the two of us - (AU!)

James (Bucky) x reader,  – Steve x reader (Later in fic)

Summary: The reader is reeling from a life changing event, a year later can she finally move on? Or will the past come tumbling down like an avalanche…

 A/N: Sooo I decided to do an AU! Its my first time writing one, I am rather excited so I sinceeeerely hope you all drop me some feedback, because I god damn love writing!!

 Word Count: 3361

 Warnings: Nothing I can think of…

1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10

 “Y/N!” a voice called from behind you, you slowed down your pace and hopped slightly from foot to foot trying to keep up your body temperature in icy New York cold, it was your best friend Natasha. She never jogged with you in the mornings, so you were quite surprised to see her in workout attire jogging towards you.

“Hey Nat,” you respond giving her a quick hug,

“Thought I’d join you today,” she smiled, taking a spot to you right as you both began to jog down the pathway,

“You hate jogging,” you pointed out, you knew Nat was only here because of what day it was, and she wanted to make sure you were okay.

“I mean I don’t hate it, I just prefer less strenuous forms of exercise” Natasha replied, stretching her arms as she jogged in her bright pink parka and black tights.

You just shrugged and then fell into a comfortable jogging rhythm. Jogging had always cleared your mind, it was sort of comforting, especially in the crisp cool morning air.

Natasha made small conversation as you continued your run, you could see she was hankering to ask you if you were okay, but she was avoiding the topic entirely and after the run, she suggested you go for breakfast.

Once seated at a table in the warm bistro, you listen quietly to Natasha babble on about her fiancé Bruce and his upcoming event which both of you should attend, but your mind was only paying half attention to what she was saying.

“Y/N? are you listening?” She says snapping her manicured fingers in front of your face,

“Oh, shit sorry, what were you saying,” you say apologetically, snapping out of your thoughts

Natasha sighed, “I’m sorry, I have to ask but are you okay Y/N?”

“I’m fine Nat,” you respond, taking a sip of your latte in front of you nonchalantly,

“Are you sure, because I know today was supposed to be your,” she started but you cut her off

“Nat, I really don’t want to think about it okay, I said I’m fine”, you said, almost annoyed with her, but you stopped yourself. There was no point in getting irritated with her, she was only trying to make sure you were okay.

You both were quiet for a moment, then Nat broke the silence, “You should come over for dinner tonight,” she suggested “Bruce is making his famous lasagna,” she grinned, knowing how much you loved spending time with Bruce as you were both in similar fields at work but also because he was one of the easiest people to get along with, and his lasagna was truly great.

“I was actually thinking of staying in tonight, it’s been such a long week at work, Tony has me working overtime on this new eco project,” you said, knowing trying to get out of this invite was futile because Natasha was one of the most insistent people you knew.  

“Oh, shut up, you’re coming, you don’t even have to bring anything.”  She retorted, and you knew that was that, you were going.

You were appreciative of Natasha being so demanding sometimes, the two of you had been friends since high school. She was the frivolous carefree charismatic student body president type at Rutgers and graduated to become a magazine editor for the New Yorker and you in your quiet reserved way, had graduated from Rutgers university as one of the foremost scientists in nuclear physics and landed a job at Stark industries, one of the leaders in clean energy. You were an odd pair, but you had always been there for each other through thick and thin.

“So should we do some shopping on this fine Saturday morning?”  Nat asked you, as you both finished up breakfast,

“Ugh, Nat, please don’t make me go shopping with you,” You groaned, you loved her but she had a genuine shopaholic problem.

“Oh, come on! We haven’t spent any time together lately!” She whined, “You’re always stuck in that lab of yours,”

“I have some work to take care of,” You chuckled as you see her pull an annoyed face,

“I call bullshit!” She snorted, “But fine, I’ll just go shopping with Wanda.”

You roll your eyes at her, Wanda was a mutual friend, but she was an upper east side princess. Which sort of annoyed you, she loved the glamourous life and Natasha and she got along famously, you though, not so much.

“Have fun with that,” You replied, gathering up your things, “I am going home to have a hot shower and enjoy the rest of my Saturday with my work,”

“But I’ll see you tonight, right?” Nat said pointedly,

“Yes, Natasha Romanoff, I will be at your place for dinner at 7 o’clock.” You said dryly.

With a satisfied nod from her, you and Natasha exchange goodbyes and you step out of the toasty bistro and into the icy morning air. As you walk down the block towards your apartment, you were suddenly almost bowled by a tall muscular guy, wearing a navy-blue parka. His face almost covered by the ski mask he wore, but beneath his cap all you saw were his dazzling blue eyes.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as he brushed passed you not even stopping to see if you were okay, “Thanks asshole!” you call after him picking up your belongings you had dropped on the floor and, flipping him off as he marched away in front of you.  

You contemplated going after the guy and giving him a piece of your mind, but you didn’t have the energy today to deal with any drama. So instead you hurriedly walked back to your apartment, ready to get out of the now sleeting weather, as soon as you reach your apartment door you feel your heart sinking again. It was all well and good that you spent almost 20 hours of your day at the lab but coming home always flooded you with memories of him, you hated yourself for not moving out of this apartment and moving on, but your heart was still aching for him. Luke Charles had broken you heart and pretty much ripped your soul out of you when he left you for another woman 365 days ago, you were engaged, and today would have been the day of your wedding.

As you walk into the dark apartment, you gaze around at the remnants of your old relationship. You didn’t have the heart to get rid of all the stuff in it, all the stuff you had gotten together. You had turned all the pictures around but not taken them off the wall, you couldn’t bring yourself to close that chapter of your life. Because he had not given you closure, he left you in the middle of the night with just a text saying he needed to get out, it was too much for him and he had met someone else he loved and wanted to build a life with. You hadn’t seen him since then, no contact, nothing.

Your friends were there for you and had tried to get you to move out, and move on but your heart was still firmly attached to this place, and to Luke. Even after what he had done, you couldn’t believe he, the soft natured, loving generous person that he was could abandon you after four years of being together.

You sighed and flipped the lights on, casting a warm glow across the cream and brown living room. you walk into the kitchen and immediately pour yourself a glass of wine, you needed it, because just this morning before your run you had found the invite to your wedding in a box you thought you had hidden away at the back of your cupboard, and that was now sending you into a grief spiral again.

Suddenly your phone rang on the counter, the chiming of the ringtone echoing through the kitchen. Grabbing it off the counter, you see the screen light up in bold letters, James Buchanan Barnes.

You groaned, knowing that this was a phone call you were avidly avoiding today of all days. James had been your friend since university, he and Natasha dated for a while before they spilt, less amicably that you would have liked but you adored James, so it was only natural that you remained friends with him even though him and Natasha split. They had tried to reconcile a few times but failed miserably so just opted to be tolerant acquaintances for your sake.

James had been the angriest then Luke left you, he vowed if he had to ever see him again he would kill him, and you genuinely believed him, because he was a built like a brick shithouse.

“Hello James,” you answer, anticipating his worried voice over the receiver,

“Y/N, hey!” his husky cheery voice sounded through the phone, hearing his voice cheered you up a little. He had been a source of comfort through this period in your life, trying his utmost to keep you happy and healthy.

“What’s up?” you ask,

“Are you home?” he replied,

“Yeah, I just got home, I am assuming you are on your way here?” You said, taking a sip of the cold wine,

“Yes, I am walking up the stairs as we speak,” he chuckled, “See you in two seconds,” then he hung up,

Sure enough, a minute later you hear the front door open and James walked in, “Y/N?” he called out,

“In the kitchen,” you responded, taking out a beer from the fridge already knowing he was going to ask for one,

James walked into the kitchen, pulling of his black parka, gloves and scarf.  “God damn, its cold out there” he said tossing his items of clothing on the counter, and coming over to give you a hug.

“Hey buddy,” he says softly giving you a peck on the cheek, “You doin’ okay?”

You gave him a small smile, “As well as I will ever be I guess,” was your timid response,

James nodded sympathetically, and took the beer you offered him, he wasn’t going to dwell on the subject, so he distracted you, “Oh hey, did I tell you I bumped into that Wanda girl a bar the other day,”

You both took a seat at the kitchen table, “No, no you did not tell me that,”

He whistles, “That girl is a piece of work, she is all kinds of bat shit crazy.” He says, grinning devilishly,

“Ugh, James please don’t tell me you are sleeping with her, because my delicate constitution cannot handle that level of gross right now.” You respond, making a disgusted face at him.

James laughed gleefully, “Well, yes and no, I fucked her… once” he paused “Okay maybe twice,”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you groaned facepalming yourself, “Of all the women in the upper east side, throwing themselves at you, you just HAD to sleep with her!”

James laughed again, “Wait that’s not even the kicker, she now genuinely believes I want to be in a relationship with her,”

You sighed loudly, knowing that this whole situation was going to end up royally screwing you all over because he wasn’t wrong, Wanda was bat shit fucking crazy.

“So, I have been avoiding her calls and texts like the plague, but man that girl is relentless. Any ideas on how I can escape her, you know her pretty well?” He continued,

“ugh, my god you are disgusting.” Was your only response, “You’re on your own there pal, she doesn’t like me.”

“Ah come on, don’t leave me out in the cold like that, help a guy out.” He bargained, chuckling

You chuckled with him, shaking your head.

James had a way of making every situation so lighthearted and fun, you loved having him around for that reason. It was so easy being yourself around him, he never pressed you with questions about your feelings or how you were or pestered you to move out and on, he just simply wanted you to be happy. And that was the only kind of friend you needed right now.

“So, what are our plans for the day?” he asks you, sipping his beer.

You loved how he just invited himself into your plans for the day without asking, “Well, I have some work to do, and then Nat invited me for dinner. Bruce is making lasagna,” you replied,

“Oooh, I want to come for Bruce’s lasagna,” James said, faking excitement ��

“No, what are you up to James?” you say narrowing  your eyes at him,

“Oh, come on, I want to see Nat and  you know I love Bruce, and all his nerdy glory,” James laughed at his own comment,

“You’re the worst, but fine come if you want to but don’t get mad when you don’t get what you want,” you replied, polishing off the wine in your glass,

“it’s a Saturday, why are you working?” he asked genuinely perplexed by this, changing the topic,

“Because,” you say standing up, “Unlike some of us who have rich daddy’s who pay for our lifestyle, I have to work to earn a living” and walking to the living room,

James snorted, “Hey, I can’t help it if I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” he followed you to the living room, “I’ll pay your rent this month if you skip work today and just hang out with me,”

You scoffed at him, and sat down at your desk opening your laptop. You already had 42 emails to answer. “Come on, Y/N!” James whined, “Leave your sciencey stuff for a day, lets go to Rockefeller Center and see all the Christmas lights!”

“It’s the middle of the morning,” you retort, scrolling through your emails as he continued to shoot ideas at you,

“Lets go to 5th avenue then, I’ll take you to Bergdorfs and buy you …leggings?” he said, still trying to get you to budge.

“Really? Leggings?” you laughed mockingly looking up at him, as he leaned against your work desk.

“Okay, whatever you want,” James said pleadingly, giving you puppy dog eyes,

“Alright, well then I want to go to the Museum of Natural History,” you said gleefully knowing he would never agree to it.

You saw his face fall for a second then to your amazement he agreed, “Okay, lets go to the Museum of Natural History”,

You and James spent the rest of the day at the Museum of Natural History, he was bored senseless but he entertained your talk on space and time and history for hours on end. By late afternoon you had ended up in the planetarium, laying on the viewing deck looking up at the model of the constellations before you,

“Beautiful isn’t it,” you said softly

“Yeah,” was his equally soft reply, but he wasn’t looking at the constellations before you.

After almost an hour of comfortable silence between the two of you, you turned to him, “We should probably get going, if we are going to make it to Natasha’s by 7,” you say getting up,

James agreed, and the two of you made your way out of the museum. James’ town car was waiting outside for the two of you as soon as you stepped out of the museum.

“So should we go straight there?” He asked, opening the car door for you

“I suppose, but ugh I didn’t bring anything,” you groaned, remembering that Natasha was the kind of person to invite you for dinner and then complain If you dint at least bring her some bourgeoisie bottle of champagne or something,

“I already took care of that,” James said, motioning for you to get into the car, “Artur stopped by the house and picked up a bottle of Dom for her,”  

You smiled at him, even after all this time, James still knew Natasha so well, “Alright then I guess let’s head straight there.”

When you arrived at the Manhattan townhouse that Bruce and Natasha shared, you were feeling somewhat glum. The house next door, was the one Luke and you were going to move into soon after your wedding, this neighborhood haunted you sometimes, all the future plans that were made, now clung to it like a dark cloud.

James seemed to notice the change in your demeanor, “Hey, you okay?” he asked, putting his arm around your shoulder,

“Yeah,” you sighed, “Just all this, brings back memories I guess,”

“Ah, you’ll be alright,” He assured you with a grin, “Let’s go drink all of Natasha’s good alcohol,” he said ringing the bell excitedly.

Natasha opened the door enthusiastically, “Yay! You’re here,” she exclaims, then pauses when she sees James,

“Hey, Bucky…” She says, her facial expression changing slightly, as if her excitement diminished a little.

“Hello Tash,” he said softly giving her a warm smile, and a peck on the cheek.

Natasha was the only person either than his mom to call James by his second name, Buchanan or rather Bucky for short, she was the only other person he would let call him Bucky.

Nat led the way inside, thanking James for the bottle of champagne profusely as it was her favorite. She bagan animatedly talking about her day to you as she led you to the kitchen where Bruce was preparing dinner.

“Darling,” she called out to him, “Y/N and Bucky are here,”

Bruce emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishcloth, “Hey Y/N, James,” he said coming over to exchange greetings with a warm smile,

Bruce was always the softest kindest person you had ever met, him and Natasha were opposites but worked so well together.

“I am so ready for that lasagna” you say, accepting the glass of champagne Nat handed to you, the food smelled heavenly.

“It tastes amazing,” Nat chimed in, handing James a glass of champagne as well, it was kind of her dinner party tradition to only serve champagne, it was weird, but you weren’t complaining as you sipped on the crisp beverage.

“Shall we sit?” James asks, motioning to the dining room,

“How’s work?” Bruce asks you, as you all take a seat at the dining room table,

“Ah it’s good, Starks got me working on nanomolecular energy development, its quite a big project for our department,” you replied. Bruce worked for Stark industries as well, just a different division.

“That’s great to hear, seems the idea is to run on clean energy by the end of the year,” Bruce began but Nat interrupted him,

“Come on guys, no shop talk!” she chided,

You couldn’t help but laugh, Natasha had no idea what half of the stuff you and Bruce spoke about, meant.

It felt good to be with your friends that evening, as it went on, Nat and James shared stories of recent events in their lives and Bruce adding a few comments here and there. You just enjoyed listening to it all, taking your mind of the stained memory of what today meant.

“Thanks for a great evening, Nat” you said, hiccupping drunkenly, as Bruce let you and James out well past midnight, “Ugh I love the two of you,” you exclaimed throwing your arms around both simultaneously.

Nat was a little too incoherently drunk at this point to even respond properly, so she just hugged you tighter.

“And we love you too,” Bruce replied, smiling and returning your affection, “you’ll get her home safe, right?” he says to James behind you,

He nodded, “Yes sir,”

You stumbled next to James as he led you to his town car, and sat you in the backseat beside him.

You lean tiredly against his chest, “James,” you mumbled,

“Yes Y/N?”

“Thank you for today,” you slur,

“Of course, anything for you,” he replied gently, kissing the top of your head,

“It still makes me sad,” you sighed sadly, pulling him closer to you in an embrace,

“I know it does, sweetheart” James replied in a kind voice,

“James?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Do you love me?” you asked drunkenly, James knew you probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning when he answered,

“I do, very much so,” he replied tenderly,

You sighed, seemingly content in his embrace, “I love you too James, you make my days better”

He smiled at your confession, knowing it meant more to him than it did to you.

xxx

Hope you guys enjoy it!

[the-battle-lesbian]

Stars

The third and final part of what became a short 3-part angst series “Do Ghosts Cry?”. This part actually has a happy ending but you’ll still probably cry. I try my hand at fluff in an angst context.

                              I lit a fire with the love you left behind                       And it burned wild and crept up the mountainside                              I followed your ashes into outer space                     I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place

“Baron Samedi is the chief Loa of death and resurrection in Haitian folklore and Vodou beliefs. He is often depicted dressed in a black top hat, black suit, and smoking a cigar with a glass of rum in his hand. His face is either painted white like a skull, or sometimes is shown as a skull itself. He is the patron of death, tombs, gravestones, obscenities, dead relatives, healing, smoking, drinking, and disruption.”

Sounds like him and Wynonna would get along.

Waverly chuckles a little to herself as she closes the book. Interesting information, sure- but not what she needs. She places the old volume at the top of a stack that has formed on her coffee table. She leans back on the couch and rubs her neck that’s gotten stiff from bending over, staring at scribbled words on pages for- 3 hours? 5 hours? She can’t remember.

I can’t stop until I figure this out.

Nicole had been investigating a case involving this Baron Samedi. Why she hadn’t told her she can’t understand-

Yes she can. She would have shut Nicole out of the case as soon as a whiff of the supernatural came up-

-but she needs to know how far she got. This Baron was all she had left, and everything Waverly had read so far on him pointed at one certainty:

He can resurrect the dead.

“Hey Baby Girl.”

Waverly jumped at the sound of her sister’s voice, and turned to see Wynonna standing at the base of the stairs. She looked at Waverly with soft, sad eyes, and something about that look- was it pity?- made her scoff.

“Hey to you too- little asshole not letting you sleep?”

Probably a bit harsher than necessary.

Wynonna gave a small smile.

“No. I actually slept great- for once. You, on the other hand, don’t look like you’ve slept for days. Can you even tell me what time it is?”

Waverly rolled her eyes. “Of course I can- it’s probably 2 or 3 am right now.”

I’m not in the mood for this Wynonna.

Wynonna raised an eyebrow and walked over to the living room curtains, and when she pushed them back some weak rays of sunlight entered the Homestead.

“Kinda bright for 2 or 3 am don’t you think?” She paused and sat next to Waverly on the couch, “Waverly it’s 9:30 in the morning. You need to sleep. Dolls can take over with this case-”

“No! No no I’ve- I’ve got it Wynonna I can handle it it was Nicole’s and..now it’s mine and I have to finish it for her. You- you don’t understand I have too.” She felt her voice breaking and the tears coming.

I have to bring her back, Wynonna, I wish you could understand.

Wynonna wrapped her arms around her sister and held her close.

“I know you miss her Baby Girl. Hell, I miss her too. So damn much. But you know she’d want you to take care of yourself. Can you at least promise me you’ll eat some breakfast and sleep before you continue with...this?”

Waverly looks at the stack of books. The scattered files. The portable whiteboard she’d nabbed from the BBD office to sketch notes. Her only hope of saving Nicole. All she has left.

“Yeah. Sure.”

It’s almost too quiet to hear, but Wynonna gives her a final squeeze and gets up to head for the kitchen. “I’ll make some pancakes. I’ve been improving, you know- even Doc can eat them without wishing he was back in that well.” She smiles with her joke, hoping for at least a chuckle from her baby sister. When all she gets is Waverly staring at the now open window with a distant look on her face, she sighs and turns to head back into the kitchen. But she stops short and turns back to Waverly.

“Waves?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked Dolls about this Baron Samedi and...I know what he can supposedly do. But he’s dangerous, Baby Girl, even Dolls says he’s not worth messing with. It’s just...please, please don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“I won’t.” Maybe she says it a little too fast, But Wynonna seems to accept it and leaves the room. It wasn’t a lie anyways.

I will never regret saving her.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                             I can't look at the stars                                 They make me wonder where you are                                     Stars, up on Heaven's boulevard

She fidgeted in her seat at the table in Purgatory’s only tiny coffee shop, twirling her necklace between her fingers. She shouldn’t even be nervous.

It’s just a thank you coffee. With a woman. You hang out with lots of women and there’s nothing different about this.

But there was. And a small part of her already knew that. She found herself staring at the door every time she heard the bell ring as someone entered the cafe. And with each ring her heart skipped a beat with anticipation.

This isn’t a date-geez. Calm down.

But when Nicole finally walked through the door, she couldn’t hold back the wide grin from her face. And she found it returned with the smile she had already grown so fond of as the deputy walked over, clearly just having gotten off of work. She took off her stetson as she sat in the chair across from Waverly and placed it out of the way on the table.

“Hey Waves. Sorry I’m late we got a call in at the station 20 minutes before I was scheduled to leave and since Wilson was already out on a welfare check I had to take it. Luckily it was pretty short though so I don’t think I’m too late. Hey, you good?”

“Uh- w-what?”

Waverly was startled back into reality and when she realized the whole time Nicole had been speaking she had just been staring. Her face turned red with the realization she had been imagining what the officer’s hair would look like out of that french braid. She was positive it would look beautiful, because how could the woman in front of her be anything but.

“Oh I’m fine. I’m fine. I just...guess I had another crazy day.”

Act cool.

Nicole smiled. If she had noticed Waverly’s blush she chose to ignore it.

What a gentleman...woman? Gentlewoman?

“Well, Waverly Earp, it sounds like crazy days are just an everyday thing with you. Should I be worried that coffee will take a turn for the worse?”

And there was that smile.

Put those damn dimples away.

“Oh no no no. Coffee will be totally, completely normal. Promise.” She tried her best to give a calm smile back but she found herself feeling lost again.

Get it together.

“Sooo....you gonna get us some coffee? You did promise the cappuccino would be on you. Not actually on you though we don’t need a repeat of the bar tap incident.”

“Right! Right, I’m sorry I just seem to be out of it today. Umm..I’ll go get that for you.” She started to get up to head to the register when Nicole’s hand on her arm stopped her. It was gentle, and she felt herself freeze.

Not a date.

“You know, you don’t have to worry about being awkward or anything. It’s honestly pretty cute, and I’m just glad I get to have coffee with you.”

Waverly let out a sigh or relief, “Yes of course. I mean, I’m not awkward because of you, just so you know. I’m just...for some reason really awkward today. But um, I’ll go get your cappuccino and I’ll be back in a minute?”

“I’ll be waiting.” And another smile.

Waverly turned and walked up to the counter, a small smile creeping up on her face.

You know you’re pretty cute yourself.

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waverly marched into the BBD office and as soon as he saw her Dolls knew why she had come.

“Waverly-”

“Dolls don’t you dare tell me not to. You said I should have made the deal with Widow Beth and don’t you dare tell me this Baron Samedi is any more dangerous than the demon Clootie.”

Please understand.

Waverly could tell Dolls was choosing his next words carefully. But before he could speak she continued.

“I know you miss her too. I know you know she didn’t deserve to die and she shouldn’t be dead and Baron Samedi is the only one who can fix it. Dolls this is her only chance.”

More silence. A few moments passed, and he finally spoke.

“Does Wynonna know?”

Waverly shook her head. “She suspects, of course. But no, she thinks I’m just trying to finish up Nicole’s case.”

You must understand.

Dolls sighed, “Waverly, Baron Samedi won’t resurrect someone out of the goodness of his heart. He’s a Loa- thousands of people have called on him over the years to do exactly what you’re asking, and it never comes free. He will want something in return and it won’t be anything good. I have to agree with Wynonna on this one.

No you don’t.

“Except I have something to trade, Dolls. Something he wants. What Theodore Roosevelt stole from him- his hat.”

At this Dolls’ eyes widened. “Where did you find it?”

“My secret. But I bet he’d resurrect anyone to get it back.”

Waverly held her head up. She knew she’d won.

“Jeremy!” Dolls called behind him.

The young scientist jogged up to his superior, “What’s up? Oh- Waverly.” His demeanor changes when he sees the younger Earp. She must have had tears forming in her eyes because his nervous rambling started.

“Waverly, I am so so sorry. You know Nicole was-”

“Jeremy I need you to help Miss Earp research summoning Baron Samedi. I have some notes from my time with him back in the office.” Dolls interrupted.

Jeremy stopped with his mouth still open. “Summoning Baron...Samedi? Wait are you sure?”

“Positive.” Dolls said with a curt smile, “But let’s keep this on the down low why don’t we?”

“Oh you bet Dolls I will keep this soooo low on the down low,” Jeremy laughed awkwardly, bending his knees slowly to emphasize just how down low.

“Okay Jeremy come help me. Please?” Waverly interrupted this time.

“Right! Yes- this way.” He gestured towards the back of the room where an office was situated and headed in that direction.

Waverly started to follow him but first turned to look back at Dolls.

“Thank you,” she mouthed with a small smile.

Dolls nodded, “Go get her, Earp.”

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                            All those times we looked up at the sky                           Looking out so far, we felt like we could fly                            And now I'm all alone in the dark of night                          The moon is shining but I can't see the light

“Waverly wait up!” Nicole yelled from behind her as she ran away from the road and out into the open field.

“Hurry up slowpoke! You’re gonna miss it!” she yelled over her shoulder.

They were running out into the middle of a field well away from Purgatory, and far away from the town lights. Waverly’s jeep was parked alongside the road, where she had stopped abruptly, proclaiming to a startled Nicole “This is it! It’s perfect!” And subsequently she had jumped out of the parked car and took off running with the bewildered officer not far behind.

Waverly stopped and fell to the ground, spreading her arms and legs in the soft grass like she was making a snow angel, though it wasn’t quite snow season yet. Nicole came to a stop and looked down at her winded friend.

“What are we doing here, Waves? It’s the middle of nowhere.”

“Exactly. Now get your butt down here, Officer Haught.” She patted the grass next to her body.

Nicole smiled and rolled her eyes, but she fell to the ground as well, spreading her arms and legs like Waverly had. And since her hair was out of its professional braid, it went everywhere just like Waverly’s.

“So what are we doing here?”

“Shhh!! Look!”

Waverly pointed up at the sky and for a moment, Nicole couldn’t tell what she was pointing to. But then she saw it. A streak of light flit across the black sky. And then another. And another. And another.

And with each passing meteor Nicole’s smile grew wider.

“A meteor shower? Waves I had no idea.”

“Oh yeah? What do you think?”

Nicole turned her face towards Waverly, where she found the other woman already staring at her with a soft, but expectant smile.

“Beautiful.” Nicole breathed. And silently, they both knew she meant more than the meteors.

Waverly grinned and scooted closer to Nicole, close enough that she could nuzzle her head into the other woman’s shoulder. Nicole wrapped her arm around Waverly in response, and for a time, they just were.

After what seemed like an eternity of quietly watching the meteor shower, Nicole broke the silence, “You know, I was always told growing up that stars are angels. Little angels who were your loved ones on Earth. And when there’s a shooting star, it’s an angel coming to Earth to grant a wish for you.”

Waverly looked up at Nicole as she spoke. They were so close now. Almost impossibly close. So close Waverly could feel Nicole speaking. Could feel her heartbeat.

And damn does it feel right.

“Well, it feels rude to not give them a wish to grant, especially when there’s so many angels coming to Earth tonight.”

“Well I don’t know about you, Waverly Earp, but I have definitely already given them a wish to grant.”

Waverly smiled, “And now I have too.”

���What was it?”

“Don’t you know, Nicole? A girl never wishes and tells. I want it to come true after all.”

“Aah right. My bad.”

“It’s okay. You’re forgiven.”

And I wish you’ll wait for me. Because I know I want you to be mine.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meteor shoots by in the night sky as Waverly walks up to the barn on the Homestead land. It catches her eye and she stops, wishing almost on instinct:

Come home, baby. I’m coming to get you. Hold on.

When it disappears into the inky black again, she continues to the barn door and pulls it open. The old wooden door groans in protest but she squeezes her way through into the old building. Dust is visible floating in the moonlight, but she barely registers it.

Waverly heads straight for an old chest in one corner of the old barn. Lifting the lid she gets a face full of dust and coughs, wiping her face. The chest is full of old garments and fabric scraps. It was the dress-up chest from her childhood. She remembers putting on one of the little blue dresses to play tea party with Wynonna.

But that’s not what I need now.

She digs down through the old, moth- eaten clothes, searching for a familiar shape.

“Aha!”

She pulls out a black top hat from the pile of clothes. It has a few holes where the bugs got to it, and a thick layer of dust coats its felt, but it’s still recognizable.

“Funny to think I was using an ancient Loa of the dead’s top hat to dress my snowmen,” she murmured to herself, brushing the dust off carefully and inspecting the hat. And on the inside of the brim she found what she was looking for: a small, intricately embroidered veve in bone white thread. The cross made it unmistakable:

Baron Samedi’s hat.

Waverly smiles and places it gently back in the chest.

First he resurrects Nicole. Then I show him the hat. But for now, it’s safe here.

With finality, she closes and locks the chest.

You’re coming home tonight.

She adjusts the ring on her finger, its blue stone glistening in the rays of moonlight. And as she got up she picked up a backpack heavy with everything she needed. Everything she and Jeremy could find that was needed to summon a certain Loa of the dead.

Making one final check that the lock was secure on the chest, Waverly turned and left the barn.

Last stop, the graveyard.

                                       And if I know you at all,                                      I know you've gone too far                                     So I, I can't look at the stars

                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She fidgeted with the ring in her hand. It had only been a week since that day in Nedley’s office. The day when she had put herself out there and everything had been perfect. Scary, but perfect. And today was another scary day, but she hoped it too would be perfect. She sat at their table in Purgatory’s only tiny coffee shop. Spending Nicole’s lunch together their had quickly become a tradition, one Waverly wanted to continue for a very, very long time.

The door rang as Nicole walked in and she immediately spotted Waverly at their table. Waverly balled her left hand into a fist in her lap, hiding the ring. Nicole sat across from her at the table and gently held her right hand.

“Hey Waves. How has your day been? I hope not too crazy.”

Waverly smiled, “No, not crazy, luckily. It’s been pretty normal, actually. But...I’m hoping it’s about to become a lot more special.”

The last part she said on a whisper, and Nicole’s smile faded into a look of confusion.

Just do it.

Waverly put her left hand on the table, and between her fingers she held a silver ring anointed with a round, blue stone. It looked antique, but the care it had been given gave it the shine of a ring brand new.

Nicole’s eyes widened and jaw dropped when she saw it, and that’s when Waverly felt the panic hit her.

“I’m not proposing, just so you know. No, that’d be a little too fast I think but...but I want you to understand that I’m serious. I mean, we both know I’m new to all of...this,” she gestured between them with her right hand, still holding the ring up in her left, “I’m new to it but I’m serious. This isn’t me..experimenting or, or having some fling, Nicole, I really, really want to have a..a relationship with you. And I thought, you know, I wanted to have some way to show you that and I thought, why not give you something you can wear whenever you like. So you can always remember that I’m here. For all of it.”

When the words finally registered, the smile returned to Nicole’s face.

“You know it’s really hard for me to be serious when you keep flashing those cute dimples,” Waverly pouted.

Nicole laughed and grabbed Waverly’s right hand again.

“Waverly Earp, are you giving me a promise ring?”

“Well now when you put it that way I feel like a teenager. But...yes I guess you could call it that if you want.”

“Well in that case, I do.”

They could barely contain their giddiness as Waverly slipped the ring on Nicole’s right index finger, and even once it was in place, they held on a few moments longer.

I promise I’m all in.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                           Stars                               Stars, they make me wonder where you are                                        Stars up on Heaven's boulevard                                             And if I know you at all,                                           I know you've gone too far                                          So I can't look at the stars 

“Baron Samedi mwen konvoke ou pou sa a grav tonm aswè a pou monte yon nanm tort pran. Mwen vle pou fè pwi ak tou sa li pran. Foseyè detere sa a nanm aswè a.”

Haitian Creole was not one of her strong languages, but she hoped it was good enough.

She was standing in Purgatory Cemetery, next to a new grave bearing an all too familiar name:

Nicole Haught

On the grass next to the grave she had drawn in chalk the Baron’s veve. The outlines of the veve had then been soaked in rum and a single cigar was place in the center. Only once everything was in place did Waverly begin the incantation.

For a few minutes, nothing stirred.

Where are you?

Starting to panic she looked down at the ancient volume in her hands and began again. Maybe her pronunciation was off or she spoke to quickly-

“Your pronunciation was atrocious please don’t say it again.”

Startled, she looked up across Nicole’s grave to see a man standing there. He was tall, Haitian, wearing a dark suit and smelled of tobacco and rum. Two cotton plugs were up his nostrils and his face was painted white like a skull. His voice was higher pitched, almost nasally, and not at all what she expected.

That didn’t mean her knees didn’t tremble at the sight of him.

“B-Baron Samedi,” she began, taking a breath to regain her composure, “I summoned you here to resurrect the wrongfully taken soul of Nicole Haught.”

He blinked slowly.

“Well I figured as much from your terrible summons. So what? Why should I? Do you know how many people pray to me a day to resurrect their loved ones? If I answered every prayer, the graveyards would be empty! Death happens, little girl. I find it helps to embrace it. Now get out of my sight.”

Oh no you are not doing this.

“You didn’t even ask what I’m willing to bargain. Cause I bet this is an offer even you can’t refuse, no matter how jaded you are.”

“Oh really? And what on Earth could you possibly offer me that would make the whole fiasco of resurrection worth my time?”

“Oh, it’s not something of Earth. A little birdie told me you’ve been looking for your hat that lets you travel freely between the worlds of the living and the dead. Without it you’ve been stuck, and from the looks of it, that has not been agreeing with you. I only knew about your hat because of Nicole’s work. And I found it. I have it hidden somewhere safe. So my terms are this: Nicole’s life for your hat. What do you say?”

At the mention of his hat the Baron seemed to grow taller, and the sky a bit darker.

“You would dare use my hat, my rightful property stolen from me by your ancestor’s friend, as a bargaining chip for one woman’s life? Tell me why I shouldn’t just dig your grave to lay beside her as punishment for the mouth on you?”

Her heart beat rapidly with fear and she felt her hands tremble but she continued.

I’m coming for you.

“Yes. Yes I do dare. And kill me if you want but with me goes all knowledge of your hat’s location. So guess you’ll just have to wander in this world until someone else this crazy finds it and summons you. How long do you think that’ll take?”

The Baron’s eyes narrowed.

Waverly allowed herself the smallest smirk.

Got you.

With a heavy sigh and a shake of his scowling head he answered, “Kontra a te asepte. The deal is accepted. Now stand back and let me work.”

Waverly took a few steps away from the grave and watched as wispy shadow figures, almost like dogs, separated from the Baron’s shadow. The hounds circled Nicole’s grave and began digging. In no time they had uncovered the dark brown casket. A few lifted the lid with their muzzles and threw it open, so Nicole’s body was once again exposed to the world. With the digging done they retreated into their master’s shadow once again.

The Baron looked down into the casket.

“I need something that ties her to this Earthly. It’s the only way I can call her spirit back.”

Waverly began to panic.

I didn’t read about an earthly possession.

She rubbed her hands together in the nervous habit she’d had since childhood, and upon feeling the smooth stone under her fingers, an idea hit her.

She took the ring off and handed it to the Baron, who took it delicately in his long, skeletal fingers.

“This will do.” He nodded, and began in incantation of his own.

“Syèl la pi wo pase mwen sipliye ou, kò sa a yo te pran tou Talè. Mwen fouye leve l’fòs. Men kò li bezwen Lespri Bondye a. Mwen rele lespri Nicole Haught tounen pou domèn terrestre a ak mèt letanp sa a nan posesyon.”

He bent down into the grave and slipped the ring onto Nicole’s finger. He then ran his hand over her eyes, from her mouth upwards, and with his hand her eyes opened. She gasped and clutched at the sides of the casket.

“Oh my god, baby!” Waverly ran forward and sat where the Baron had been. He had already left, presumably still close by waiting for his hat. Nicole had been buried in her uniform, per her request. Her short hair was disheveled and dirt smeared into her skin from where it had seeped through the casket corners.

Before she could process what had happened, Waverly pulled her into a long kiss. When they parted, it finally dawned on Nicole where she was.

“Wait, Waves. Why- why am I in a grave? Did I...oh my god I died. Waves I was dead! How..how am I here?”

Waverly just smiled because it was hard to speak through her tears. She held Nicole’s face in her hands and gently rubbed the graveyard dirt away.

I said not today.

And she kissed her love again.

Not today because we have so much left to do.

“Waverly how did you do this? Please tell me you’re okay aren’t you? You didn’t..you didn’t hurt yourself getting me back did you?”

Waverly laughed through her sobs. “Still trying to look after me huh? Even when you have been dead for weeks. But no, I didn’t hurt myself. I just traded a hat for you.”

Nicole’s brows furrowed. “A hat?”

“Don’t worry you are worth so much more than a hat to me. And hey-” she held up Nicole’s hand with the ring once again placed on it, “I told you I promised to stay by you, for all of it. And I wasn’t about to let Widow Mercedes change that. Not now, not ever.”

I promise to be here forever.

And with the sun starting to rise on the new day, Waverly looked up at the sky and knew that, for the first time in weeks, tonight she could look at the stars again.

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one. 

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.) 

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask) 

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone 

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes 

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time 

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red 

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes 

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried 

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately 

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way 

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter 

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met. 

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2. 

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day. 

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults 

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off 

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing 

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men 

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....” 

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered 

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum 

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now 

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once 

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings 

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me 

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people 

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died:  Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long 

Do you believe in… 77. yourself?  Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day? 

78. Miracles?  sometimes 

79. love at first sight?  I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew 

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well 

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry 

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange 

84. Eye colour:  Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did 

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too. 

[moreinfinite]

Gravity (Steve x Reader) Series

A/N- I’M BACKKKKKKK! After taking a personal break I am back with a new series. I have no idea how many parts it will be or what will even happen but right now I am enjoying writing sooo thats what I am going to do!

Pairing- Steve x Reader

Words- 2k

Warning- PTSD mention and some serious angst. It will get fluffy later I promise!

The early morning air was cold against your bare cheeks, causing them to become rosy. You leaned on the railing of your apartment balcony taking a large sip of now lukewarm coffee. Your eyes shut you breathed in the scent of the fresh rain against the pavement below, a smell you have become quite fond of since you found yourself in Seattle. Every fiber of your being loved this time of morning, just before the sun peeked out over the horizon and the world below you was quiet. You opened your eyes and took another breath. This was going to be a long month.

You hadn’t been an official member of the Avengers long, maybe six months or so but you had been living on the base for at least a year and a half. Banner had been running extensive tests to make sure you were stable enough to join the team, let alone the rest of society. You were a HYDRA experiment, for three years you had been poked and prodded against your will being forcefully turned into a weapon. A SHIELD Agent who was sold out by a partner and it landed you in the hands of an organization that many other believed didn’t exist anymore; but not even years of SHIELD training could prepare you for the constant hell you were put through by HYDRA scientists. They tore you apart and put you back together again, they injected you with chemicals, changed your DNA and molecular structure to create a “weapon for the ages” but you felt like a monster.

The torment felt like it lasted an eternity until one day it came to a screeching halt when the world’s mightiest heroes came barging through the main gates of the facility. You watched as a tall blond man removed your restraints, his blue eyes so striking but all the same warm and inviting. For all your life, the first thing you had noticed about a person was their eyes, it allowed you to read people judge their true intentions. You could tell by one look that this man was here to help. He swept you into his arms, pulling you deep into his chest.

He could feel you shake against him as he moved. He spoke softly, “It’s okay, you are safe now.”

With those words resting in the back of your mind, your eyes began to flutter letting the gentle swaying lull you to sleep.

When you finally awoke you found yourself attached to more machinery, your instant response was to fight. The memories flooded over you, making your blood turn cold. A warm hand touched your cheek and brought you back to reality. You found those same blue eyes fixated on you, this time joined by two new pair. A brown set, perfectly framed behind a set of oval rimmed glasses where he stood in the back writing something down on a clipboard he held in his hands; and gray pair of eyes, you could see the hurt leftover from something terrible hiding within held together by a smile. You held your eyes shut, trying to wrap your head around what exactly was going on.

The blond man spoke again, “There she is,” He was hushed, a tone you would save for a small child. “It’s good to see you again Agent 17, I know you are probably really confused but let me catch you up to speed.” He smiled warmly before taking your hand in his, as a last ditch effort to try and comfort you. “I’m Steve and this here is Bucky,” He nudged the man next to him, the one with the broken eyes. “And that back there is Bruce, we are here to help you.”

You cleared your throat, it was weak and dry but you managed to get some audible words out. “Where am I? How do you know who I am?”

This time Bruce came over, “Sorry about that Agent 17, you are currently at the Avenger’s Facility in upstate New York. We know who you are because he have accessed your SHIELD file.”

SHIELD. That part of you felt like a lifetime ago.

“Please just call me (Y/N).” Your voice barely over a whisper

“Well (Y/N) have you always been able to manipulate objects with your mind?” Bruce arched his eyebrow.

You gave him a puzzled look, before he pointed at a lamp across the room that was floating rather than sitting nicely a top the desk. Your eye’s widened, clearly unaware of what the HYDRA scientists were actually up to.

Bruce walked over and grabbed your other hand, “Don’t worry we will figure this out.” He smiled softly and the corners of his eyes began to crease. He was genuine.

You gave the man a quick nod and let him get back to work. Steve and Bucky moved out into the hallway when a new man came in, another pair of brown eyes and a styled goatee to match. He introduced himself as Tony. He was a confident man, the polar opposite of Bruce; loud and in your face but an eagerness to help. So you let him.

After a few hours of testing they had moved you to a common area as they waited for results. Bruce gave you the remote and left you to it, it had been ages since you have even held a remote let alone watched television. You stared up at the blank screen, wishing you remembered how to work the damn thing.

You could sense someone was behind you, instinctively you reacted sending the nearest object hurdling at them.

“Ow,” You finally looked and found Bucky rubbing the side of his head, a broken remote lay at his feet.

You stood up instantly trying to apologize, “Oh my god, I am so sorry. It’s just you scared the crap out of me and I...”

He grabbed your shoulders and your mouth instantly snapped shut. “(Y/N), it’s okay. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. I of all people should have known that.” He swiftly tucked you in under his arm and made his way towards the couch. “Let’s get you all situated again.” He found a throw blanket in a nearby ottoman and wrapped in gently around your shoulders. “Your reflexes are spot on, I can definitely see that SHIELD training coming out.”

You sat down on the couch, your hands fumbling in your lap. You stared at them.

Bucky sat down next to you and lightly grabbed your shoulder. “Hey, I know it’s a lot right now but you can do it. You can make it through.”

You finally looked up at him, his gray eyes were softer now much more inviting than before. “How do you know that?”

“Because I have been there.” He looked down almost ashamed before he looked back up at you. “HYDRA made me into something I am not, they made me their weapon.” He rolled up his sleeve to show you the metal peeking out behind it. “I know what they did to you, they did it to me. But I am not going to let it consume you like it did me. I have your back (Y/N). We are in this together.”

Your eyes began to water as he pulled you into his chest. You felt a flood of emotions rush over you, and in that moment it felt okay for you to let them all out. From that moment on Bucky had your back, he was your saving grace during your recovery period. He was your rock as you tried to piece back together who you were and who your are now.

Bucky threw on a Tangled, something fun to try and lighten the situation. Your head was in his lap when Tony, Bruce, and Steve walked in. You both turned around to face them,

Bruce looked concerned while in contrast Tony’s face was lit up like a Christmas Tree.

“Looks like we have ourselves and In-House Jedi.” Tony rubbed his hands together. “Our own Luke Skywalker in our midst.”

You and Bucky shared a confused look before he spoke up, “Tony what the hell are you talking about?”

Bruce sat down on the coffee table across from you, rubbing his chin trying to find the best way to explain your new found abilities in layman's terms. “So (Y/N), we have done a few tests to try and pinpoint exactly what caused the phenomena in the lab. We had a hunch it was some sort of telekinesis but we were off, you have gravitokinesis.”

“Gravito-what?” You blinked your eyes trying to comprehend what just came out of the scientists mouth.

“Gravitokinesis; you have the ability to create, shape and manipulate gravity. We want to do a few more studies to evaluate your exact power spectrum, but once we get a handle on this and you finish recovering you can do whatever you please.” Bruce smiled. “We are here to help.”

That was then and things have changed so much since. You had spent the next year and a half mastering your new abilities, and brushing up on your espionage skills. From the very beginning the whole team wanted you on board, so it seemed almost natural to join. All you had ever known was SHIELD and HYDRA, a life as a civilian seemed foreign to you so you felt it was in your best interest to stay. Wanda and Bruce helped you find tune your gravitokinesis, while Natasha and Bucky trained you in combat mixing their styles to find the perfect blend tailored just to you. For the first time in a long time you finally felt like you belonged again, but something still felt like it was missing.

The sun was finally making it’s way over the horizon, so you decided that was your cue to head back inside. The apartment was dark, night still held its presence as you walked into the living room. You sat down on the couch and opened the case file that was sitting on the coffee table in front of you. Your first undercover mission in half a decade, you had been on smaller group missions since becoming an official Avenger but THIS, this was your first serious mission and you were determined not to blow it.

Steve was your undercover partner, a system Natasha created as a safety precaution; she was not going to have another Bucharest on her hands. Bucky opposed, insisting to let him accompany you. He felt this overwhelming need to try and protect you because when he looked at you he saw himself.

“Come on Nat, it’s her first undercover mission in almost 5 years let me go with her.” He pleaded

“Bucky, she needs to know she can do this on her own. For the past year you have acted as her security blanket, she needs you to let her be independent. Besides it’s not like one of us aren’t going to be with her. She will be safe.” Natasha reached out to grab his hand. “We all know what she means to you.”

Steve moved in and wrapped an arm around Bucky’s shoulders. “I’ll go with her. I found her, it is my responsibility to keep her safe.” He smiled at his best friend before pulling him in for a hug.

The man with the deep blue eyes, the eyes that haunt your dreams every night, the man who saved you. His purpose, to keep you safe. To be your gravity.

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