#bees6krollthedicechallenge

[herstarburststories]

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

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[msmarvelouswinchester]

Last First Kiss

Summary - Jensen finally lets his feelings towards you known but it doesn't get the reaction he had anticipated.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x OFC!Jessica (brief)

Characters - Jared Padalecki, Gen Padalecki, OMC Mark, OMC Luke, OFC Jessica

Warnings - Fluff, Insecurities, Bad dates, Implied smut, Language, Angst-ish, happy ending

Square Filled - Valentines Day ( @anyfandomgoesbingo ) Jared Padalecki ( @spndeanbingo )

Word Count - 2262

A/N - Written for my 500 Followers challenge

Request by @akshi8278 - Hi, once again congratulations on your 500 followers. 🥳🎉 Could you write number 23 and 25 for Jensen. It could be fluff/ smut, whatever you want. Thank you 😊 (I added a little bit of angst for the course of the story. Hope you like it!)

This is also a submission to @negans-lucille-tblr' 6k Roll The Dice Challenge

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Prompts are in bold.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You trudged down the empty hallway, your body slumped with exhaustion and feet hurting from wearing the ridiculously high heels to impress a man who never showed up. The silence in the empty halls was deafening unlike the crowded diner which was buzzing with lovestruck couples on the fine evening of Valentine’s Day. When you reached his door, you were barely hanging in there. Hesitantly, you knocked twice, immediately cursing yourself for fucking up his Valentines Day as well.

“Y/N?” Jensen tilted his head in confusion at your dejected state. “What happened?”

“I am done with dating.” A stray tear rolled down your cheek as you replied. Jensen pursed his lips as he opened the door wider to let you in. He threw an arm over your shoulder, guiding you towards the couch.

“Mike was a douchebag.” He said, as you plopped down on the blue couch.

“His name is Mark.” You rolled your eyes at him, “I dressed up all for nothing. I am done trying to find the perfect man. I will get a cat and become a cat lady. At least it will show up when we have a cat date with cat food and pizza.”

“You can't just swore off dating because Macaroni didn't show up.” Jensen smirked. “You just haven't met the right person yet.”

“I got stood up thrice within a span of two months. I surely know how to pick them.”

“Sweetheart, I'm so sorry but I know you'll definitely meet the right person. It's just a matter of time.” He rubbed your arm as you snuggled closer to him. “Should we order takeout? I am starving.”

“Mhm. I wouldn't mind some chinese. I'm sorry that I fucked up your plans for the night.” You said.

“I didn't exactly have anything better to do. Spending time with you is much better than third wheeling Jared and Gen.” He chuckled.

“What am I doing wrong, Jay? Something is definitely wrong with me or the entire male population is a douchebag.” You sighed, as Jensen took out his phone to place an order in your favourite Chinese restaurant.

“Y/N/N, nothing's wrong with you and there are good men out there in the world.” He said.

“They are all taken.” You replied, nonchalantly.

“I'm not.” Jensen said and your heart skipped a beat at his words.

“Maybe I was too blind to notice it,” you wanted to say instead you blurted out, “You're my best friend, Jensen.”

His hands dropped to the side as he visibly tensed up. An unbearable silence followed the awkward conversation. You could barely look at the actor beside you who was staring off into the distance, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Fortunately you were both saved from further conversation by the delivery guy.

You bit down on your lip to stop the yawn that was threatening to leave as you pretended to listen to the man in front of you complain about his work life. You hummed along to the man’s words as your mind reeled back to that night at Jensen's house. You still didn't know why you didn't speak about your true feelings. Even though his little confession didn't break you two up, whenever you used to hang out, a discomfort lingered in the air and so you had ditched the weekly movie night the day before.

After another painfully long hour, your extremely bad date came to a very fortunate end. As a sign of politeness, you had agreed with Luke, your date, when he had offered to drop you at your doorstep. With no promises for a second date, you had left Luke’s car after successfully dodging his attempt at a kiss. You sprinted across the usually empty hallway and found yourself in front of Jensen's room. You knocked at his door.

“So I was on a date and oh god, time wasn't passing by at all! Luke was such a boring guy. I surely do know how to pick the guys- and I'm so sorry I didn't come yesterday for our weekly movie night-” You rambled on as soon as Jensen opened the door without giving him a chance to pitch in his two cents.

“It's okay.” He finally spoke but his words were soon forgotten when you saw the half-naked brunette standing behind him, glaring at you.

“I'm sorry,” You turned your attention to the man in front and noticed the swollen lips, tousled hair and his unbuttoned jeans, “I didn't know you had company.”

“Next time try to call before you barge in complaining about yet another bad date.” Jensen grumbled, rolling his eyes before he shut his door to your face. You stared at the closed door, crestfallen as tears started to pool in your eyes. You made your way back to your room which was on the next floor in the same apartment building all the while wondering if your insecurities had really messed up a good friendship.

Jensen had neither heard nor seen you since he had closed the door on your face. He winced every time he remembered how rudely he had pushed you out of his apartment when Jessica was over. He was finally trying to move on since now he knew how you felt. Jensen was definitely hurt when you made it clear that you didn't reciprocate his feelings but he didn't hate you. You were still his best friend so it hurt when you had started to distance yourself from him, even ditching him on your weekly movie night. All that bottled up frustration had turned into anger when you had knocked on his door the next night to complain about your boring date but he still regretted the way he had told you off.

“Is Y/N going to come to Gen’s party?” Jared asked his tv brother during one of the takes.

“I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself?” Jensen snapped as he went back to reading his script.

“What happened?” The hazel eyed actor frowned at his friend's behaviour.

“I haven't talked to her in weeks nor have I seen her.” Jensen grumbled.

“You two are like the Siamese twins and now you are saying you haven't even talked to her? Dude, what happened?” Jared asked. “Maybe you should talk to her.” He said after Jensen opened up about what happened.

“I have called her. Dozens of times. She is not picking up.” He scoffed.

“Gen is going to invite her I suppose. Maybe you can talk to her then.” Jared shrugged as they were called back on to set.

Jared was right about everything. You were invited to Gen’s backyard birthday party and so was Jensen. You had hesitated before you finally made up your mind to go to the Padaleckis' because you knew someday you had to face Jensen. When you had returned home that night, you had realised why no one was ever good enough for you since the perfect person for you was right in front of you but your insecurities had made you blind. You knew you had missed your chance when you had caught him with the brunette but what hurt more was when he shoved you out of his apartment.

Jensen had called you a dozen times but you hadn't picked up. You didn't know what to say and the longer you stayed away from him, your feelings for him grew stronger so instead you started to avoid him like plague, trying your best to move on.

The clinking sound of bottles behind you pulled you out from your deep thought.

“Hey.” Jensen awkwardly said.

“Hi.” You returned the same awkwardness.

“You weren't picking up my calls. I'm sorry for the other night.” He said, his gaze quickly dropping to the floor.

“It's all right.”

“No it's not. Then you wouldn't have avoided me.” He said. “I know things have been awkward since that night but no hard feelings. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the same. I just want my best friend back.”

“I do feel the same.” You muttered quietly which made him look up to you. Jensen stared at you dumbfounded.

“Then why didn't you tell me?” He finally said.

“I panicked. I got scared because you know me, I don't do well with men and I thought if we didn't work out, I would lose you.” Your lips trembled ever so lightly as you stared into his green eyes.

“You won't ever lose me.” Jensen walked up to you, “Even if things don't work out relationship-wise. I will always be your best friend.”

“I don't wanna lose you. You're my person, Jay. So I lied not realising that I had pushed you away myself.” You said.

“I will always be your person just like you're mine but I can't fight this feeling anymore. I think I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do.” He said while walking up to you.

“Maybe you do know now.” He leaned down, cupping your face, his lips hovering over yours. You closed your eyes, feeling his hot breath fan against your skin but then you felt him pull back. You opened your eyes as you saw him stare at you with a look of regret in his eyes.

“I can't.” Jensen sighed.

“Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.” You gaped at him, heart broken into millions of pieces. Before Jensen could get another word out, you fled the scene.

“Hey Y/N.” Gen beamed. “Are you going home already?”

“Yeah I think I'm coming down with something. Sorry Gen. Happy birthday, again.” You said and wasted no time to get into your car and quickly drove back to your home.

Jensen had repeatedly called you since you had fled the Padaleckis’ house but you hadn't picked up. The first two days you had hardly left your house. You had been sobbing uncontrollably. You had bared your heart and soul to the man you had fallen head over heels only to get your heart broken.

You were lying on your couch, watching a sappy romantic movie when you heard a knock on your door. Pausing the movie midway you got up to open the door.

“Hi.” The green eyed man spoke quiet as when you opened the door. The sight of him brought tears to your eyes again. He was carrying a box of chocolate and a bottle of wine. “I would have brought flowers but I know how sad you get when they start to wilt.”

“What're you doing here?”

“I heard a guy hurt my best friend so I'm here with chocolates and wine.” He smirked. You snatched the box of chocolates from his hands as you held the door wide open.

“Sappy romantic comedy? Oh sweetheart, want me to kick the guy's ass? He deserves it. No one hurts my best friend.” He said as he pulled you into a tight hug. The intoxicating smell of his cologne finally breaking you. “I'm so sorry.”

“I'm so sorry too.” You sniffled as you looked up at him. “Our timings sucked.”

“It did. Can we start afresh?” Jensen smiled.

“What about your girlfriend? I don't wanna be your ‘slutty mistress’.” You said, quoting Grey’s Anatomy which made him chuckle.

“I broke up with her. I tried to date other girls to keep you off my mind but there wasn't a single damn second when you didn't cross my mind because I am totally, completely, hopelessly in love with you.” He grinned as he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

“I am in love with you too, Jay.” You said, “Kiss me.” Jensen dropped his head as he leaned into you, capturing your lips with his. His hands travelled all the way down your body before stopping at your waist. He gripped you tightly and pulled you closer, your hands landed on his biceps as you tried to steady yourself. His teeth grazed your lips lightly, making you moan into his mouth. Your hands left his biceps, hooking themselves at the nape of his neck, your fingers tugging at his hair, eliciting a groan out of him.

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?” He growled into your ear.

“Is it working?” You smirked. Jensen growled once more into your ear before pulling away from you. He effortlessly picked you up, your legs hooking behind him as he went towards the bedroom.

Panting hard you tried to come down from your high as you felt him go soft before he pulled out. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips and rolled off to the side. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lost in an euphoric state, you didn't notice when Jensen had left the bed to get a cloth to clean you up. After a few minutes, he returned back to bed. You laid there in his arms, naked, basking in the afterglow of what was actually the best sex of your life. Jensen was tracing tiny, imperfect circles on your arm as a sigh of contentment left his lips. Your back flushed against his chest, smiling, you spoke.

“We might be each other’s last first kiss.” You turned towards, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“No more bad dates. No more bad first kisses. You're mine.” Jensen whispered.

“You're it. You're my person. My world is a better place with you in it.” You said, snuggling against his warm chest. “I love you.”

Feedback is highly appreciated!

[hoboal87]

Carry On

Pairing : Sam x Reader, Platonic!Dean x Reader

Summary : One year after defeating Chuck, Sam and Dean are still hunting, but you’ve quit the life. When the boys take a vacation that quickly turns into a hunt, none of you expect it to change your lives forever.

Characters : Y/N, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, mentions of Bobby, Jody, Donna and the Girls

Word Count : 3.1k (I tried to keep it below 3k, but...😕)

Warnings : SPOILERS FOR 15X20, Angst, Feels, Fluff (it gets a little gross at the end), A Sprinkling of Pre-Smut, Pregnancy

A/N : This will keep the canon of the finale, and takes place during and after 15x20, but with an added reader insert. This was written as a sequel to “The Tie” but can be read as a stand-alone.

A/N 2 : This is my entry for @negans-lucille-tblr “6k Roll the Dice Challenge.” My prompt is “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,” which is bolded.

No Beta, all mistakes are my own.

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You pull another book down from the library wall; everything has been relatively quiet since Jack took over Heaven, Rowena has put a leash on the demons, the only monsters you and the boys had to worry about were run-of-the-mill, so to speak. Adjusting to this new life is easier than you thought it would be, using the last year to learn that without the necessity to hunt, you and Sam were finally free to live your own lives. After Chuck was rendered powerless, you decided to give up hunting for good. Sam won't, you know that, Sam and Dean had been hunting their whole lives, but you were thrust into the life.

You make your way back towards your shared room with Sam, twirling the small diamond ring on your finger, passing Dean’s along the way. You peer inside, glad to see that the once mass trove of empty beer and whiskey bottles were gone. Sure, there’s still a few bottles strewn throughout the room, but nothing like it was before. In the months following Cas’ death, Dean had been a shell of himself, drinking himself into an early grave. He never told you or Sam exactly how Cas summoned the empty, or why it took him along with Billie. Dean always kept himself bottled up, until he would explode, letting his grief out by way of yelling and screaming. Cas’ trench was usually hanging in the corner, but it wasn’t there now, Dean must’ve taken it with him. Dean was still in pain, that much was clear.

Sam and Dean are off at some pie fest, and you opted to stay behind. You waved the boys off, asking Dean to eat a pie just for you. Sam and Dean needed this; brother time. It was something that rarely happened since you joined them over five years ago, even before you were with Sam, you, Cas or Jack were always tagging along. You saw it as the perfect opportunity to take some time for yourself as well, figuring out where you and Sam would go from here. Sam talked about going back to school, finishing his degree and applying to Law School again, he even had you buy him books on LSAT prep. You talked at length about taking the next steps in your relationship, you couldn’t ever get legally married, but you starting planning a ceremony anyway. Before Chuck was gone, you were content to just be, never needing more, afraid that it would be ripped out from under you the minute you let your guard down.

As you settle into your and Sam’s bed, book in hand, you feel as the weight that’s been sitting on your chest has finally lifted, you can breathe. It's been years since you've been able to truly relax, and as much fun as a pie fest sounded, you wanted to stay at the bunker, taking comfort in your and Sam's shared room. They’d only been gone a few days, but you already missed Sam terribly, pathetic, you know. Never in your life would you have imagined wanting and needing someone like you did Sam. The next morning you wake up to a text from Sam. The brothers mini-vacation quickly turned into a vampire hunt, a nest John had hunted years ago. The boys could handle it, you know that much, it's a milk run compared to everything they've fought over the years. Be Safe, Love You. You responded and went on with your day.

Sam always keeps you in the loop when he and Dean go on a hunt without you, providing you with a source of comfort knowing that they’ve killed the bad guy or solved the mystery. But now, they’ve been silent for too long, a nest of Vamps shouldn’t take more than a few days, and you start to worry. You’re heading towards the garage, determined to track down Sam and Dean, and lay it on thick about how worried you were when they went silent. You’re about to open the door to the garage when it swings open and Sam’s long body fills the frame. It startles you at first, even causing Miracle to bark in surprise. You throw your arms around Sam, all anger gone now that he’s back home with you.

“Don’t ever do that again!” You scold Sam. “You know how much I hate it when you and Dean stop responding.” You want to be mad, but you’re so focused on the fact that Sam’s back home with you again, that nothing else seems to matter. “If you’re gonna keep hunting you have to keep me in the loop,” you mumble.

Sam’s body stiffens against your touch. It takes him a minute, but he reciprocates your hug, pulling you tight against him. You stand there, waiting for some smart remark from Dean, normally barking at the two of you to get a room, but there’s nothing but the echo of the Impala’s engine filling the air. You try to pull away from Sam, but his grip around you only tightens, this hunt must have been more difficult than he or Dean anticipated. Head pressed against Sam’s chest, you can hear his heart thumping loudly and rapidly. Dean would never let you and Sam hold on to each other as long as you have.

“Sammy?” You whisper, trying to pull away again. Sam’s grip finally loosens, but his hands don’t leave you as you take a small step back. Your eyes travel upwards, finally landing on Sam’s face, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, almost as if he has been crying. “Sam? What’s wrong?”

Sam shakes his head as tears fill his eyes.

“Where’s Dean?” You ask as you watch Sam slowly break down. His head nods towards the Impala, and you pull away completely from Sam’s embrace.

You run towards the Impala as fast as your legs can carry you, a swing open the back door, hoping to see Dean’s shining emerald eyes. Tears blur your vision faster than you can comprehend what you’re seeing. Dean’s lifeless body lays in the back seat, all color drained from him. You scan him desperately, waiting for some kind of sign that this is all a cruel prank, that he and Sam were trying to get one over you for not coming with them on this hunt.

But, there’s nothing.

You scream out, falling to your knees, Dean was just as much your brother as he was Sam’s, he was your best friend, and now, he’s gone. Your cries fill the otherwise silent garage, he can’t be dead, not like this, not on some vampire hunt, something he’s done a hundred times before. Not when you know that he was looking to settle down, find some normalcy, or at least normal for him. He deserved to live, he didn’t deserve to die at the hands of a monster.

Dean wasn’t going to be there when you and Sam got married, when you told Sam about the baby you were carrying. God, how were you going to tell him that? Dean was going to help you surprise Sam, as soon as they came home, he was going to start dropping hints, see how long it took Sam to figure it out. But now, you stared at his body, tearing streaming down your face, you couldn’t stop crying if you wanted to. Sam’s strong arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and you both sit on the floor, unable to do anything but mourn the loss of the elder Winchester.

Through your sobs, you can hear Sam trying to offer you some comfort, assuring you that he went down saving the victims. You could barely process anything he was saying, and if this is how you felt, you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Dean was the only real family that Sam had left, there had to be a way to get him back.

“No, baby,” Sam murmurs in your ear through his tears, “I promised him. No bringing him back.” You didn’t realize you had said it out loud. “He wants us to keep going, he wants us to live.”

Three days later you’re surrounded by all the family you’d gained through the boys. Jody, Donna, Claire, Bobby and Charlie plus too many people to keep track of. You and Sam had already given Dean his proper send-off, dividing his ashes between the graveyard where Mary and John were buried and keeping the rest for yourselves. Jody told the story of the first time she’d met the brothers over ten years ago and how she’d come to think of the boys as surrogate sons. Claire talked about the time she and Dean went mini-golfing and how offended he was when she didn’t understand his Caddyshack references. The bunker was full laughter, it was Dean told you he wanted all those years ago.

You and Sam couldn’t stay in the Bunker after that. You’d left it open to all hunters, you’d still come back occasionally, but it was no longer home. You and Sam packed up most of your and Dean’s things, fitting as much as you could into the Impala, knowing that the two rooms would always be off limits to future hunters. Sam nearly slides into the passenger seat when you leave, and you can see it hitting him all over again. Dean’s gone.

You drive around the country for a few weeks, unsure of where to make your new home. Neither of you ever had a real home before moving into the Bunker, and you were the only family you had left now. You settle in Sioux Falls, Jody and the girls were there, Donna was close enough, and if need be, you could be back in Lebanon in a matter of 5 hours.

You find a small house close to where Bobby’s used to be, it is still a salvage yard, but Bobby’s house is long gone. As the weeks pass you don’t know how much longer you can keep your pregnancy hidden from Sam. Every time you try to tell him, it feels wrong; you are both still grieving the loss of Dean, and Sam has fallen into a deep depression. You have Jody take you to your doctor appointments, and she scolds you for not telling Sam, but when she drops you at your new home, and sees the current state of Sam, she backs off.

At your next appointment, she laughs and cries with you when you learn that you were carrying a boy, Dean. When you first told Dean that you were pregnant, he immediately insisted that the newest Winchester should be named after him, “boy or girl!” He insisted, “I’m named after a Deanna.”

“I think the world only needs one Dean Winchester,” you retorted playfully. Now, it seems the perfect way to carry on Dean’s legacy.

When you leave the doctors, you finally realize how obvious it is that you’re pregnant, your stomach rounding out perfectly under your shirt. You’re almost insulted that Sam hasn’t noticed your ever-growing stomach and the extra pounds you’ve put on over the last month, but he hasn't been himself since Dean died. You hadn’t been intimate with him since you settled into your new house, and he spends most of his day sleeping or in a fugue-like state.

Jody insists on taking you shopping for baby supplies, and by the end you’ve got a shopping cart onesies, blankets, something called a diaper genie, and many other things you didn’t even know you needed. As you walk through the store an iron-on name display catches your eye, and you make your way towards it. The names are written in large cursive lettering, and you hope that you can find the right one. You nearly squeal when you do, and find a plain onesie to attach it to.

You’re glad that the baby store carries labeless bags, especially when Sam is up and about when you get home. He looks good today, he’s slightly sweaty, and you know that he left the house and went for a run. He greets you with a quick kiss, a sheen of sweat covering his face, and makes for your room. He eyes the bags in your hands, but doesn’t say anything, and a few minutes later you can hear the shower running. Thank God, you sigh and take the bags into an empty room, Miracle following closely behind you. You set the bags down in what will be baby Dean’s nursery, Jody’s right, you think, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

You find the onesie and the iron-on decal, you place it in the center and carefully attach the decal. After letting it cool you tuck it into a small gift bag. You hear the shower turn off, and make your way back into your bedroom, placing the bag on your bedside table, waiting for Sam to exit the bathroom. You can’t help but stare at him appreciatively when he opens the door, a towel wrapped around his waist. You’re suddenly very aware of how long it's been since you’d been with him. Sam catches you eyeing him, and smirks, sending a jolt straight down to your core. You missed this, not just the sex, but how he takes charge with you, his domineering presence making you melt. He leans over you, and places a tender yet eager kiss on your lips.

You reach for the towel, letting it slide onto the floor as Sam deepens the kiss, and start to work him over in your hands. Sam groans at your touch, and starts to pull at your shirt, pulling his face away just long enough to rid you of it. Sam’s lips are back on yours just as quickly as they were gone. His hands palm at your breasts, and you moan into his hands reach into the overflowing cups, you really loved your pregnancy boobs, but your bras were doing very little to keep them in place. Sam’s hands travel to your back, and undos your bra, letting your breasts fall free. Sam finally opens his eyes when his hands land on your protruding stomach and takes a few steps back.

He quickly pulls on a pair of sweatpants as you pull your shirt back over your head, trying you best not to cry as he starts pacing the floor of your bedroom. You wait for him to say something, anything; you weren’t trying when you realized you were pregnant. You’d just gone off your birth control, and everyone told you it would take at least a few months for your body to get back to its natural cycle. You both knew it was possible but figured you’d have at least 6 months before really actively trying for a baby.

Sam’s face is almost unreadable; you can’t tell if he’s happy or mad, if he’ll tell you it’s too soon, that he’s not ready. He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, as if he can’t figure out what to say. If Dean were here, he’d probably knock him upside his head, telling him this exactly what he’s always wanted.

“How– why–” Sam stammers as you move to the edge of the bed. “Are you– You’re pregnant.” He says it almost as if it’s a question and you nod your head. “How long?” There’s almost an accusation in his voice, you’re sure it’s not intentional, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

“18 weeks,” you murmur, trying to hold back your tears. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but it’s– it never seemed to be the right time. When you and Dean–” Sam winces at the mention of Dean’s name, you hadn’t said it out loud in almost a month, not since you left the Bunker. “I found out right before you left, I was going to tell you when you got back. But… after… I was afraid that you’d say it wasn’t the right time. That it was too soon.”

“It is too soon,” Sam mutters under his breath, you’re sure it’s not meant to be malicious, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “You said it would take at least 6 months.”

“It’s different for everyone,” you offer, as Sam runs his hands through his hair, still pacing in front of you. “Please, Sam, can you sit down? You’re freaking me out.” Sam moves to the edge of the bed, and sits down next to you.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Sam whispers, eyeing your belly. “I don’t know how– I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“Yes, you do,” you grab his hand, and place it on your belly. “Dean taught you everything you would ever need to know.”

Sam smiles sadly, “I ever tell you about the night I left for Stanford?” You shake your head. “Dad and me, we got into this huge fight. So of course, Dean steps in– gets between us, attempts to calm us, but we were both just– just too fucking stubborn to listen.” He removes his hand, focusing down on them as he fidgets. “When dad said don’t come back, I called his bluff, and I was– I was so pissed at Dean, I thought he was taking Dad’s side, that I didn’t even say bye to him. I didn’t have it myself to go with grace. I walked away from him, the only family that I had, and I regretted it for years. I- I feel like he should be the one here, that- that we’re moving on too quickly.”

“Dean, he– he wouldn’t want you, us, to live like this, we owe it to him to keep fighting, to live our lives. I know how much you miss him,” a tear slips from Sam’s eye. “I miss him too, but you know what keeps me going everyday?” Sam shakes his head, and you take his hand in yours again, and place it back on the swell of your belly just as little Dean decides to kick for the first time. The smile on Sam’s face is instant, you can’t stop the happy tears from falling as Sam shifts in front of you, and lays his head on your swollen stomach. “Our son.”

Sam cries, truly cries for the first time since the day he brought home Dean’s body. You hold him against you, he’s been so pent up for the last 3 months, bottling up his emotions, he needs this, you both do. You’d been so focused on the baby growing inside of you never realized that you hadn’t realized that Sam had never come to terms with Dean’s death.

“It’s a boy?” Sam asks as his cries cease. “We’re having a son?”

“We’re having a son,” you nod, and hand Sam the gift bag still sitting on your bedside table.

Sam opens the bag, and you smile as he pulls out the green onesie, his eyes lighting up as he reads the lettering.

“You’re sure?” He questions.

“The world lost one Dean Winchester, let’s give it another.”

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@that-one-gay-girl​

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[waywardnerd67]

The Symbol of my Soul

Summary: Everyone has a mark on their soul chosen according to their destiny and imprinted upon their soulmate to reveal who they are. In a world of superheroes and villains, (Y/N) wore the one man’s symbol she has ever loved proudly across her chest paying no mind to the symbol over her heart. Until her world collides with one of unsung heroes and monsters. Will she stand by the side of America’s greatest superhero or walk the path of destiny to the world’s bravest hero? Characters: Dean Winchester, Steve Rogers/Captain America, Reader Pairing: Dean x Reader / Steve x Reader Warnings: Angst / Fluff / AU / SPN & Marvel Crossover Word Count: 3220 A/N: This is for @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ A Supernaturally Marvelous Fic Challenge Prompts (bold): Soulmates AU / “I can’t stay away from you. I’m tired of trying.” A/N: This is for @negans-lucille-tblr​ bees 6k roll the dice challenge (however I went over her word count… sorry) Prompts (bold): Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? Because I always do / Isn’t it messed up, how I’m just dying to be him?

(Y/N) stood in front of the mirror deeply breathing in the steam from her shower. The faded mark above her heart aching sighly. She thought nothing of it since her sparring match with Cap and Bucky had resulted in her making a trip to the infirmary. That was over a week ago and now she was beginning to wonder if it meant that her soulmate was coming soon. She swallowed hard pushing that thought to the furthest parts of her consciousness.

There was only one man she wanted to stand by and she proudly wore his symbol across her chest daily. Looking back at her uniform, the dark navy, crimson red and striking white star were the colors of American Hope in which he had worn for decades. It was not until her mentor, Agent Carter, had passed that she took on his mantle. That had been several years ago and now the world knew her as Lady America.

“You gonna stand there all day or can someone else maybe use the mirror?”

Sam’s snarky tone made her smirk as she grabbed her uniform, “Oh, by all means, please admire yourself for a few hours. I’m so sorry to be in your way, Feathers.”

His dark eyes narrowed on her then brightened as he laughed, “Always count on you for a quick wit back, M’Lady.”

Walking past him, she made her way to her room. Turning the corner her smile widened seeing the man whose side she wanted to stand by always. Steve Rogers was the picture perfect man, in her humble opinion, with his  short, clean cut blond hair, chiseled jaw set in a firm line and bright blue eyes. He looked up seeing her walking towards him in a towel. His cheeks flushed making her giggle.

“Hello Cap, anything I can do for you?” She opened her door leading into the small dorm room that was located within the Avengers Headquarters.

“(Y/N), I wanted you to accompany me on a mission. Strange energy source is coming from a small town in Lebanon, Kansas. Tony seems to think it’s nothing but I want to make sure.”

He focused on a few pictures she had of family and friends on her walls. She caught him several times glancing over to her, his eyes traveling the length of her body. The mark on her burned hot for a moment before going back to a dull ache.

“Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll meet you in the garage.”

Steve gave her a short nod before hastily exiting her room. She quickly put on her suit combing her hair back fixing it into place and took one last glance in the mirror. Once again, the mark burned into her chest to the point she rubbed the spot with her hand. Dread filling her heart knowing that soon everything could change for her.

When you are born, everyone has a Soul Mark on their body signifying who your soulmate was in this world. When you would eventually meet them then the mark would fade into the skin until it vanished. The mark was meant to lead you to your soulmate but it was up to you to choose to be with them or not. Steve and Peggy bore each other’s marks until he was frozen and she passed away. From the times she had seen him get stitched up, Steve no longer had a Soul Mark on him.

(Y/N) hurried to the car where he was waiting for her. His new midnight blue and silver suit fitting him perfectly as he leaned against the car. Ever the gentleman, he opened her door for him with a soft smile. They took off from upstate New York making the twenty plus hours drive to Kansas. As they drove through the small town, she had never seen Steve so content before watching the townsfolk milling around the store fronts. A few waved recognizing him from afar and for a few minutes he stopped at the one signal light to sign autographs for a few kids.

Eventually, they made their way to an abandoned electrical warehouse. As they stopped in front of it, (Y/N) groaned from her mark throbbing and stomach churning.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, concerned, filling his voice.

“This stupid Soul Mark is aching.” She looked up at him, “I’m trying to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist. You know, Tony’s way of doing everything.”

He chuckled, “Your soulmate must be nearby. Maybe you should stay here.”

Before she could respond a black car pulled out from a side street with two men inside. The moment she saw him (Y/N) knew he was the one. At the same moment they both instinctively grabbed their chests rubbing the spot over their hearts. Steve had noticed it as well, his lips in a firm straight line.

She straightened up, “We should follow them.” Looking over to him, her heart ached seeing the disappointment in his eyes, “They could have the power source with them.”

Steve nodded following thirty yards back as the black car cruised through the small town. They followed them for hours heading east until they reached a suburb of Chicago. They finally stopped at a shady motel with a diner attached to it. Her mark was bothering so much that she undid the top portion of her uniform to make sure it was not literally burning.

It was hideous with jagged lines forming a backwards F over her heart. Steve glanced over seeing that it was glowing bright red seemingly searing into her skin. With tears in her eyes, she looked up seeing sorrow shining in his.

“You know there is only one way to take care of that.” He whispered as she buttoned up her front again looking over to the black car.

The taller of the two men had long, chestnut hair and stood nearly three inches over the other man. He had one hand on the other’s shoulder presumingly making sure he was okay. The other man was rubbing his broad chest, his handsome face scrunched in pain. He had short, light brown hair and even from the distance they were at the setting rays of the sun shine over his vibrant green eyes.

Without even a second thought, (Y/N) found herself getting out of the car and walking towards the two men. Her mind completely blank except for the one thought running through it.

Home.

“Who are you?”

They looked up at her as her own hand clutched at her chest. The taller man stepped in front of the other protective before realization flickered in his hazel eyes.

“Holy crap, you’re Lady America…”

“Yes, I am and the man in the car is Captain America. Now, answer my question…” she grunted from the pain at the same time the other man did, “Who. Are. You.”

She reached her hand out passing the taller man and grasped the other man’s shoulder. Immediately, searing pain spread throughout her chest and her heart hammered within her. She felt Steve’s hand grab her shoulders trying to pull her away but the man held onto her forearms.

“Dean!” The man yelled as the other man’s olive eyes bore into hers.

“Sammy, I can’t let go…” Each word was a puff of air as he spoke.

Steve wrapped his arms around her waist and wrenched her out of his grasp when she cried out, “NO!” He immediately dropped her and stepped away.

She tore at the buttons of her uniform until she could pull her tank top down revealing her red hot soul mark. He sucked in a breath seeing her mark then pulled his own t-shirt down revealing her star over his heart burning red as well. Their eyes met briefly before the world went black.

(Y/N) could hear voices murmuring around her focusing on the only familiar one, “This is more complicated than I expected.” She groaned opening her eyes to find three men staring down at her.

“W-What happened?” Flashes of searing pain and heat made her heart ache then it all came back to her.

She shot off the flimsy mattress staring at Steve as his eyes averted from hers to the man sitting on the bed next to hers. His head was in his hands and her body lurched forward to go to him.

“(Y/N)...” Steve calling her by her name stunned her enough to refocus, “You need to hear their story first before making any decisions.”

She watched as Steve left the room his silhouette imprinting on the window as he stood outside. She moved to the end of the bed running her hand through her hair trying to ignore every inch of her body telling her to move to the man beside her.

“Start talking. Quickly.” She groaned.

“My name is Sam Winchester and this,” he patted the man sitting on the bed, “is my brother Dean. We’re hunters.”

She chuckled, “So you kill bambi?”

Dean scoffed before Sam continued, “Not exactly. We hunt monsters.”

“Monsters? Really?”

Dean stood up facing her for the first time, “Yes sweetheart, monsters. We’re really no different from you except we don’t destroy cities or have millions of fans to dote over us.”

“Dean…” Sam warned as she stood up anger overwhelming all other feelings coursing through her.

“We’re heroes! We’ve saved the world more times than you could even count! We risk our lives everyday to keep this world safe from all kinds of villains!”

He squared his shoulders getting in her face, “So do we. We’ve saved the world so many times that it would make you superheroes look like amateurs. We’ve taken on the devil himself and God. So what, if you take out a few aliens.”

“Stop. Both of you.”

Steve’s voice had her backing away from the man in front of her. How could she be destined to be with this neanderthal. How was her destiny tied to his?

“(Y/N), we have a file back at headquarters on hunters and one particular on the Winchester brothers.” He showed her the files on his phone, “They are what they say they are.”

Dean threw his hands up in frustration, “I don’t even believe in this destiny crap. Sam, what happens if we choose not to embrace this ridiculous soul mark?”

Her eyes glanced away from the phone trying not to react to the harshness in his tone. Everything he said felt like a personal attack on her and it was taking everything within her to not show any reaction to him. Her eyes were stinging from holding back tears and her stomach was flopping like a fish out of water.

“From everything I’ve ever read if you choose not to follow through then you wander through life aimlessly. Always having that void within you until it finally consumes you.” His eyes softened looking between the two of them.

“Well, Captain USA here looks fine.” Dean pointed out and (Y/N) heard a small growl from Steve’s chest.

She pressed her hand against the star on his chest but he snapped at Dean, “That is because I was frozen until 2011 and my soulmate had no choice but to move on.” He stormed out of the room.

“You don’t have to be rude. None of us like this, but this is how it is.” (Y/N) narrowed her eyes on Dean who visibly flinched then she went after Steve.

She found him sitting on a bench outside the diner. His hands running down his face before clenching into fists. She sat down beside him, looking into the diner windows seeing they would start drawing a crowd soon.

“Let’s get out of here before people start pulling out their cell phones and Tony lectures us.” She gestured towards the people within the diner staring at them.

Silently they walked back to their car where Sam and Dean were standing, “Where are you going?”

(Y/N) felt a tug on her heart as if someone pulled a string attached to it, “We need to leave before we gather too much attention.”

“You can stay with us.” Sam offered.

“What?” She and Dean spoke in unison as they stared at him.

He sighed looking to Steve, “We have a secure bunker in Lebanon. It’s the safest place on Earth, well maybe besides Avengers HQ. There are plenty of rooms and when can figure out our next step is.”

She looked to Steve who nodded, “As good of a plan as any. We’ll follow you.”

The drive back to the abandoned warehouse was silent. Both Steve and her lost in their own thoughts. Her heart anxious and torn between wanting life to go back to the way it was versus heading towards what she could feel was her destiny. The uniform she proudly wore for years now making her squirm. She unbuttoned the front, slipping her arms from the sleeves leaving her in just a tank top. She took a deep breath letting it out slowly.

The moment she stepped out from the car in the underground garage the same thought that ran in her mind repeated itself over and over.

Home. Home. Home.

Sam showed them around telling the story of how they were legacies of the Men of Letters, an organization she had heard of before. The connections between her and the Winchesters become clearer. Steve and Sam stayed in the library swapping stories as she went in search of Dean. She found him sitting at a desk within a room labeled 11. A glass tumbler in his hand filled with amber liquor.

“So, what do we do now?”

He looked up from the leather journal and photo within it, “My parents were marked together. He was meant to be a Man of Letters and she came from a long line of hunters. They were the merging of two worlds fighting evil in the world.” He paused looking back at the picture, “I can’t help to wonder if that is not what is happening here as well.”

She stepped inside looking around what she presumed was his bedroom. Weapons of all variety hung on the walls. A record collection that would impress anyone along with a proud displayed and alphabetized porn collection. (Y/N) could not help the soft chuckle that escaped her lips. She sat down on his bed the overwhelming comfort it brought to her was startling.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed before downing the rest of his drink, “This life, hunting or being a superhero, the end is all the same. It’s bloody.”

He did not need to say more, “Then it’s decided.” Without another word she walked out of his room.

The trip back to headquarters was silent except for the soft playing music Steve had turned on. (Y/N) stated she was tired crawling into the backseat and lying down. She was awake for the whole trip quietly crying as each mile placed between her and Dean ripped open another crack in her heart. With time, her heart would become numb and she would carry on like she was supposed to because she was an Avenger.

Days turned into weeks that turned in months. She accepted every mission sent her way and performed her duties as she was taught. Everyone around her could see and feel the difference in her, but she ignored it knowing if she dared thought about him she would break.

(Y/N) was in her room writing up her reports when Steve knocked walking in, “(Y/N) could I talk to you for a moment?”

Her heart thumped hard as she turned to him, “Is it about another mission?”

He nodded, “Yes. A very important mission.”

She was expecting to follow him into the conference room or his office instead he led her out to the overlook of the river that ran along headquarters. He sat on the bench patting the spot next to him.

She shook her head crossing her arms over her chest, “This isn’t about a mission and whatever it is about I don’t want to hear it.”

Turning to walk back to her room his raspy voice stopped her dead in her tracks, “Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him? You’ve been by my side all these years and I’ve been blinded by my own mark still burning within my chest for Peggy.”

(Y/N) closed her eyes willing the tears to stop pooling beneath her lids as he continued, “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling knowing he’s out there and knowing you two belong together.”

“Stop. Please stop.” She begged turning to him with tears running down her cheeks, “I can’t talk about it or think about it. He made his choice and I’m sure he’s not thinking about me.”

Steve held up his phone hitting play a voice recording. Dean’s deep voice coming from the speaker.

“Lady America saves a little village in Costa Rica. Lady America rescues a herd of horses from barn fire. Lady America takes on Enchantress in super sexy downtown fight. Huh.”

“Steve…”

He held his hand up as the recording continued, “Wonder if Lady America has a cell phone? I wonder if she’s ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? Because I always do… but at I guess she isn’t going to be listed under Lady America.” Dean sighed heavily, “She truly is beautiful even with her hair a mess and dirt smeared across her face.”

Steve stopped the recording, “You both are miserable. You need to go to him and I will send you missions via your phone.”

He stood up walking past her just as she reached out to him, “Steve, I truly felt something for you. You do know that?”

“I know, but I can’t stand in the way of your happiness even if it means breaking my own heart. Natasha is waiting for you with the jet to take you to Lebanon. Goodbye, (Y/N).” He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head before walking away.

Tears flowed freely down her face but only a few were with sadness. Rushing to her room, she found her bags packed and ready to go for her. Her dorm room was bare and figured he enlisted Bucky and Sam to help. Walking onto the jet she found Natasha sitting in the pilot’s seat.

“Ready Lady?”

She nodded wiping the tear from her face, “Yes, I’m ready.” She took one last long look at headquarters spotting Steve’s motorcycle leaving a trail of dust behind him as he raced down the path.

“He’ll be okay. I promise to smack him around for you.” She smiled at Natasha before closing her eyes as the jet took off through the clouds.

Knocking on the heavy door, (Y/N) looked down at her worn jeans and plaid shirt tied around her waist. A surprised Dean opened the door staring at her.

“I can't stay away from you. I’m tired of trying.”

Dean scooped her up into his arms hugging her tightly. Finally, (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief knowing that now she was officially…

Home.

From that moment on, a new branch of the Avengers started saving people, hunting things and assembling Earth’s mightiest heroes.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

For fanfic updates please follow #waywardnerd67fics

#supernaturally marvelous fic challenge #bees6krollthedicechallenge

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

Forever

Title: Forever Summary: Y/N has been having some bad days. Dean shows her how loved she is Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Prompt: I promise that I’ll love you for the rest of my life Warnings: Depression, lack of self-esteem, lack of self-love, Fluff Word Count: 852 This was written for the Bee's Roll the Dice Writing Challenge of @negans-lucille-tblr

A/N: Prompt is bold and in italics | Hello! Sorry for the absence in the posting schedule. I had a few personal issues and I wasn’t able to post them. Hope you like it! Enjoy the reading!

^

You were on research duty since the last hunt a month ago. You injured your leg pretty bad and needed some time to heal. In the meantime, Sam and Dean were hunting non-stop and because of that, you’ve been alone in the bunker.

In the beginning was great, nobody bothered you, and you could relax a little. But as the days passed by, the loneliness and the silence were taking the worst from you.  The loneliness made you start spending more time on your mind than your reality, and the thoughts became darker and darker. You needed a distraction, you needed to get out of your mind, you were on the man cave with some lore books when your phone buzzed

DW: Hey sweetheart! How is your leg? YN: Hi Dean! The leg is good, still hurts, but good. How are you guys doing?

Dean and you were a thing, nothing official, but everyone practically knew. He became more protective and supportive of you throughout the recovery. He was perfect for your eyes.

DW: We are good. Sam says hi YN: Give him a hug for me. Are you coming back soon?  DW: We think we have at least two more days. Plus, Sam found a case on our way back home DW: We’ll probably going to check it out YN: Good. If you need help, let me know and I’ll go DW: I don’t think so, sweetheart. You need to rest. We can’t risk you getting injured again DW: But, if we need information, I’ll call you

After the last text Dean sent, you stop texting back. You felt like a burden to them. They haven’t been at home for the last month, and every time you wanted to help them, they dismissed it.

*Did they really enjoy having you there or they were doing it so you could leave them before they got back?* you thought Your mind went on autopilot and kept doing everything that was needed in the bunker. Supply runs, cleaning, research. You did everything without feelings. You stopped feeling anything. You were cold. After that exchange of text messages, you stopped paying attention to your phone, and because of that, you missed all the phonecalls Dean did, and the text messages he has sent you. You had spent the past two days in your room. You felt empty

-Y/N? We are at home! — Sam shouted Silence -Hey sweetheart, are you in here? — Dean called you entering the library Silence again. Dean noticed how clean everything was, all the books were in their place, everything. -I’ll go check on her bedroom — Dean said to Sam Dean went through the hallways directly to your room. He dropped his duffel bag on your door and knocked on your door -Y/N, sweetheart? — Dean entered your room Silence. He saw that you were tucked in bed. He approached you and sat next to you. You felt the bed dipped and your body got tensed. You weren’t in the mood to talk with anyone. You wanted to be alone -Baby — Dean called you again, removing the cover a little -Go away — You said — I want to be alone -Sweetheart, what is it? Are you sick? -No, leave me alone — you said one more time and your voice broke -Talk to me love. I’m worried -Worried? — you asked concerned — You left me here for a month, alone. You barely called, and every time I said something, you dismissed it -I didn’t mean to leave for so long -Really Dean? Why don’t you admit you want me to leave you and we fix everything? -I don’t want you to leave Y/N/N. You are everything to me. Yes, I might not be good with words, but you are my life. You don’t have an idea of how hard was for me to leave you here, on your own. -And why you didn’t come? I needed you, Dean. I don’t matter anymore? — you asked crying -Of course, you matter to me Y/N! You are the love of my life. I didn’t come because I thought you needed space. But I was wrong

*He doesn’t care about you. He is just saying it to make you feel good, but as soon as he can he is going to leave you again. He doesn’t love you* your mind started to race with bad thoughts

-Look at me — Dean said — Y/N, look at me -What? -I love you You were speechless. You didn’t know what to say, so you started to cry -I know that your mind right now is telling you that it’s not true and that I’m lying. But I promise that I’ll love you for the rest of my life.  — He said and kissed you You broke the kiss and hugged him. You needed to feel him. You needed to know that he was there with you and that you weren’t dreaming. -Is it real? -Yeah, sweetheart. I’m here — Dean said and caressed your cheek

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added)

@iguessweallcrazyithinktho | @void-hoechlin | @mrspeacem1nusone | @thevelvetseries |  @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem | @caplanbuckybarnes | @akshi8278 | @supernatural-jackles

[writethelifeyouwant]

Not Done Yet

Pairing: J2  / Jensen x Alex Calvert

Rating: 18+

Tags: dom!Jensen, sub!Jared, bondage, dirty talk

W/C: 1007

A/N: Written for the fabulous @negans-lucille-tblr​ and her celebration of reach 6K on Tumblr! You go girl! Un-beta’d because I was determined to make the deadline and I was only two minutes late!!

Prompt:  I want to break my baby - hold her down. The prompt was my inspiration but it’s not literally in the fic itself…. Hope that’s not cheating. 

Dividers: @firefly-in-darkness​

Alex was pacing, behind the corner and out of sight of the camera crew. His takes had been shaky all morning because of fucking Jensen and Jared messing with him the whole time. Anytime the camera was on Alex they were pulling faces, making kissy noises and miming sex acts; he could have sworn he saw Jensen actually grope Jared’s crotch, not just pretend to - freaks. Kim had finally sent the boys off set with a stern look so they could finish the rest of Jack’s scene, preferably some time that day. Jared and Jensen had been gone a couple hours now and Alex was exhausted but they were nearly finished - one more take maybe, I can do this. 

A hand on his shoulder made Alex jump, and he spun around only to have his back pressed against the wall with Jensen crowding in over him. He was still dressed as Dean, in his fed suit from earlier, but missing his tie. A single finger pressed over his lips, which were looking more pink than usual, a little more raw and Alex, intrigued, stayed silent, and let Jensen usher him off the soundstage and out a side door towards their trailers. 

2 hours earlier 

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out again,” Jared laughed as they fell into Jensen’s trailer. 

“I can’t believe it took them that long to kick us out,” Jensen huffed, shoulders shaking lightly. 

“Want a beer?” Jared was bent over to reach into Jensen’s mini fridge, rooting around for a drink. 

“Uh, no,” Jensen considered Jared’s position with a growing smirk, and pressed himself up behind the round ass that was being very nicely showcased by Jared’s suit trousers. “And I think you should maybe skip the beer. Keep your mouth free for something else?” 

Jared immediately straightened up and turned in Jensen’s arms, letting Jensen grab his chin and focus his eyes on his lips. “What do you say, Jay?” 

Jared licked his lips, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by the slightly shorter man staring at his mouth. “Yes, sir.” Jensen smiled triumphantly. 

“Why don’t you give me that tie, and then go strip and wait on the bed?” 

Jared tugged at the knot around his neck, sliding the silk through his fingers and curling it up in his fist. With a hard kiss, he pressed the crumpled material into Jensen’s hand and pulled back, the teasing glint in his eyes flashing out of sight as he turned to follow his instructions. Jensen watched Jared’s ass for a minute as he walked out of sight, then proceeded to undo his own tie and follow his boy into the trailer’s bedroom. 

He found Jared naked, kneeling on the foot of the bed and waiting patiently. Smiling, Jensen unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt and shucked his jacket to the floor. 

“What am I gonna do with you, baby?” Jensen mused, and Jared’s eyes flicked up to meet his. 

“Who says you get to decide, sir?”  

Jensen lunged for Jared and pulled his hair back, making him cry out and exposing his throat. “Gonna be a brat today, huh?” Jensen growled and nipped at the base of his throat. Jared just grinned, refusing to answer, and Jensen pushed him onto his back and crawled over him. “Am I gonna have to hold you down? Break you in a bit more?” 

“Why don’t you find out?” 

Alex followed Jensen into his trailer when he threw open the thin metal door, its crash making his nerves jump a little. Jensen had been silent the whole of their quick walk over and now he was motioning for Alex to take a seat on his couch and handing him a beer and he still hadn’t spoken a word. 

“What’s going on?” Alex couldn’t hold his curiosity in any longer. Jensen grinned over his beer and took a swig, his lips curling over the rim of the bottle in a way that Alex couldn’t keep his eyes off of. 

“How’d the rest of the scene go?” Jensen asked casually. 

“I uh - didn’t exactly finish before you kidnapped me.” 

“Ooh-” the older man let out a sympathetic hiss but the insincerity rang through the gesture. “They’re gonna have your ass for that one.” 

“And I bet you’re not gonna offer to take the fall for me?” Alex took a drink of his own beer and settled back into the couch, trying to put himself at ease despite the odd edge he felt coming from Jensen. 

“Not a chance, kid,” Jensen laughed. “In fact, I might just give them a hand with your discipline. I’ve been told I’m pretty good at it.” Green eyes gleamed at him, nestled in soft crinkles behind narrowed lids and ungodly thick lashes. 

“Oh?” Alex’s eyebrows shot up, not sure what to make of that comment. “Is that because you’ve been on the receiving end so much?” 

“Well… Jared has, and I’m always close by.” 

Alex’s eyes creased in suspicion. Every time Jensen spoke he sounded more and more sinister, almost dangerous. What was happening right now? 

“Okay… why are you telling me this?” 

Jensen recognised the confusion in the young actor’s face and took a pinch of mercy on him, the last he was likely to receive that night. 

“Go look in the next room, I’ve got something I want to show you.” 

Alex got up nervously, brushing sweaty palms off on his jeans, and made his way towards the bedroom at the back of the trailer where he found Jared passed out, wrists bound to ankles with Sam and Dean’s ties, and cum drying on his belly. 

“What the f-” Alex’s curse was muffled by Jensen’s hand clamping over his mouth and when he was pulled back against his broad chest he felt the unmistakable bulge of Jensen’s dick press against his ass. 

“Thing is,” Jensen whispered in Alex’s ear, his fingers dropping to curl around the boy’s throat instead. “I broke my toy, but I’m not done playing yet.” 

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Bee’s 6K “Roll the Dice” Writing Challenge

SIX.FREAKING.THOUSAND.OF.YOU - WHAT.THE.FUCK?! 

Thankyouthankyouthankyou - I can’t say it enough! <3

Okay, so you know me, love to incorporate the number somehow and as I’m a little bit of a nerd, I’ve decided to include some dice this time. So are you feeling lucky???

Here’s how we’re gonna play…

You’ll pick a character (or their actor) from the list below that you want to write for, then you will pick a genre - Angst, Fluff, Smut or Dark. Each genre has 6 prompts. Once you’ve selected your genre, my very beautiful mermaid D&D dice will be rolled and your prompt will be selected and given to you. (There will be more than one person allowed per prompt - as the dice is picking!) Then, all you have to do is write your story!!

It’s important to note that whilst you might pick a specific genre for your prompt, that’s not to say that you can’t include other genres within your story. Want a real challenge? Pick fluff as your genre and make it dark >:)

Characters/Actors: 

Any SPN character/Actor/Actress (excluding the baby that is Jack if there's sex)

Negan/JDM (TWD)

Damon Salvatore/ Ian Somerhalder  (TVD) 

Rules and prompts below...

Rules:

As this is a followers celebration it would be nice if you were following me :)

You can write for any of the main SPN characters (except Jack), Negan or Damon Salvatore or their actors/actresses (Or you can do a crossover if your heart desires) Threesomes/Moresomes are welcome and can include m/m and/or f/f (this girl is Polyamorous and bisexual so go wild)

Your fic must be reader insert (Female or male) - Preferably in 2nd or 3rd Person narrative. The exception to this rule being if you want to write Dean x Sam or Jensen x Jared (because I’m a hoe for the idea of those two getting it on)

Your fic can be any genre or mix of, regardless of what genre your prompt comes from - Dark is A-Okay (and even encouraged) as long as you tag/warn accordingly. Write whatever your heart desires but please no toilet stuff or underage/ageplay as I don’t read those.

There is no minimum word count but the maximum is 3K and please use a keep reading tab if it is over 500 words or I won’t reblog it!

Tag me in your work and use the hashtag #bees6krollthedicechallenge in the first 5 tags.

If I’ve not read and reblogged your entry within 48 hours please message me the link as I sometimes miss tags amongst my notifications.

I will be posting the masterlist for this challenge on the 18th December so please have posted by then if you want to be added to it :) 

Most importantly…have fun!

Genre Prompt Lists:

Smut

Fast fuckers, slow lovers, we fit together like no other

She hits like ecstasy

I’m a slave to your games - I’m just a sucker for pain

Just a kiss on the lips and I was on my knees

Never met the bitch, but I fuck her like I missed her

You’ve got me wanting some body on body contact

Angst

Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? Because I always do

I don’t really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first

And then I hope she cheats, like you did on me

I’ve been pulling you close but pushing me further

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

Fluff

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need - but lover, please stay with me

You don’t know how many times a minute you cross my mind

We might be each other’s last first kiss

You’ll see that I’m sorry, ‘cause you were good to me

I promise that I’ll love you for the rest of my life

You’re the most beautiful girl in the room

Dark

I bet you thought you were the love of my life, oh no

You need a taste of your own medicine

Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him?

Another good girl I’ll probably destroy

I’m fucked up - I’m black and blue

I want to break my baby - hold her down

Tagging people who have taken part in past challenges or might be interested... (Signal boosts would be nice too!)

@mummybear​ / @cockslut-padalecki​ / @fandomfic-galore​ / @princessmisery666​ / @firefly-in-darkness​ / @the-minus-four​ / @4point7​ / @peridottea91​ / @kalesrebellion​ / @daydream3r-xo​ / @writethelifeyouwant​/ @kittenofdoomage​ / @impala-dreamer​ / @deanmonandnegansbitch​ / @moosekateer13​ / @holylulusworld​ / @herstarburststories​ / @manawhaat​ / @becs-bunker​ / @justagirlinafandomworld​ / @jay-and-dean​ / @letsby​ / @smol-and-grumpy​ / @bucky-babygirl​

[4point7]

THWACK - A Negan One Shot

Summary: a load of words slung haphazardly together to create a modern masterpiece. Written for @negans-lucille-tblr​ 6K Roll The Dice Challenge using the prompt “ I'm a slave to your games. I'm just a sucker for pain “.

Characters: Negan x Reader (ft. Floral Wallpaper)

Rating: 18+ but maybe less than 98

Warnings: All the warnings. Don’t read this if you get offended by anything typically Negan. Floral Wallpaper.

Word Count: 1,963 

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The sound of the clock echos through your mind. It suffocates your thoughts as it reminds you of the monotonous grind of time. Every "tick" amplified through the dark. The space between each one extending for eternity as the silence between them crashes through you like unrelenting waves on a crumbling cliff face, slowly beating away at your resilience. The rest of the community sleeps blissfully as you lay there, your consciousness unwavering.

Tick.

You roll on to your side and open your eyes, staring blankly at the wall. The floral wallpaper, once pristine, now peels away slightly at the seems, unveiling the illusion of perfection, breaking the once perfect pattern.

The luxuries of the past have long been abandoned. What's the point in keeping the inside looking nice any more? Compared to the horror that lies in the world beyond the mildew covered window of The Sanctuary, the room you're in, even in this state, IS luxury these days. You only need to see a couple of Walkers have their heads smashed in to be cleansed of material desires and become satisfied with basic needs being met.

Another tick of the clock calls an end to the time you're willing to designate to falling asleep. You sit up and swing your legs over the side of the bed, exposing them to the chill of the air that your bed sheets were protecting you from.

You feel the layer of dust and dirt on the soles of your feet as they connect with the cold floor. You reach to grab your clothes from the chair next to the bed and pull them on, taking the time to dust the debris from your feet before donning your boots.

You open the door, trying to muffle it's creak by pulling it softly and slowly away from the latch before stepping out into the hallway. You would rather not wake anyone. People would get suspicious if they saw someone walking The Sanctuary grounds in the early hours of the morning.

You make your way along the corridor to the door that leads outside and gently push it open. The cool breeze from outside washes over you, almost through you, as it breaks into the corridor. You take a deep breath, feeling the air fill your lungs, calming you, if just for a moment.

The door comes to a stop with a soft thud, fully revealing the early morning landscape. The trees and buildings in the distance consumed by a mist that spills onto the roads towards you.

As you step out, gravel crunching underfoot, a glint catches your eye. You follow it to its origin, finally laying your eyes on the steel barb wire coiled tightly around a baseball bat, like a snake wrapped tightly around a branch. It's doing no harm where it is but anger it and it will bite! Lucille, resting by the man himself, Negan.

You wonder if you can back away, sink back into the darkness of the doorway but it's too late, even though he isn't facing you, you know he knows you're there.

He stands, leaning on a barrier, his folded arms resting along it supporting the weight of his upper body, leather jacket taught across is broad back. Lucille stands propped against the barrier beside him, perfectly inanimate yet still so menacing. It's like the bat had a presence all of it's own, bringing fear to many while being nothing more than a prop to the horrors of it's master.

You have wanted to be this close to Negan for such a long time but now, in his presence, you freeze. Just standing there taking him in, feeling your heart thump harder in your chest, adrenaline surging through you.

"You just gonna stand there pissin' your pants or are you gonna join me?" His deep voice startles you for a moment, you weren't expecting him to speak. You walk over and lean on the barrier next to him, staring out into the mist.

You sense him turn to look at you but you don't dare look back. Not yet.

"So... who are you?" He says in a gentle deep drawl.

"I am Negan", you respond, now turning your head to look him, traces of a smirk lining your lips.

He chuckles and looks back to the landscape. "Holy shit balls, we got ourselves a joker!"

You don't take your eyes from him, taking in his profile. It's not until you're up-close like this that you can see his imperfections, the lines starting to creep across his skin, breaking the perfect appearance, reminding you of that floral wallpaper.

"What the fuck are you doing awake at this time, Comedian?"

"Can't sleep", you respond.

"Huh. No fuckin' shit!" He pauses for a beat and you say nothing. "Me either."

"Why?" You pry and he lets out a sigh.

"Could you fuckin' sleep if you had to do the shit that I do? Smashin' dead fuckers' heads don't make my prick hard, Joker! Smashin' livin' fuckers', even less so but some fuck's got to protect and lead this community. They haunt me. Every one of the cunts marchin', around my fuckin' thoughts like they're on parade. That's why."

It's an honesty you weren't expecting from him. You had always been sold this fearless, unfazed persona yet here before you stood a man troubled by the actions of his past. Almost broken. For a moment you let yourself pity him.

"Does nothing ever help distract your mind? Help you sleep?" You ask.

"Fuckin' my wives! At least, it used to. But knowing their just fuckin' me out of fear has started to take the shine off the pussy, if you know what I mean? Shit! I wanna slip my cock down the throat of a fucker who wants it, not just because they feel obliged. Then I might have the release I need". His hand slips down and gently caresses the handle of Lucille as if unconsciously.

You're so close to getting what you have wanted for a long time and you know you can get it if you play your cards right.

"WANT ME TO GIVE THE OLD CODGER A DAVID BLOWIE?", you exclaim.

"Oooh err, yes please, if that's okay with you, like? If you like don't mind and stuff and that?" He says back in a melancholy tone not far from how a school boy might ask for his ball back when he kicked it into his neighbours garden.

"You want to?"

"WANT TO? I'D FUCKING LOVE TO!" you whisper. "GIMME THAT WONDER WURST!"

You drop to your knees. Ouch! You think. You should have gotten down gently. Why the fuck you decided to drop so hard no one fucking knows.

You undo his pants revealing his big, flaccid whopper. "It's flaccid." You say. "Yes" he replies.

You stick out your tongue and touch the head of his penis with it as though your testing an ice lolly to see how cold it is. THWACK! His instant erection ploughs into your chin, essentially upper cutting you, and knocks you over. His meat looks like a big fat sausage that's about to explode. You get back to your knees and take his shaft in your hand. "Hey ho, here we go, yo!", you sing into his flesh stick like it's a microphone, before... boom! You slam that happy package right on down your gob hole! Your head smacking back and forth like your headbanging to a heavy metal track. Your throat is making noises like a fucking plunger making hard work out of a toilet or some shit. Like gluh, ung, gug, guh, glug, guh, guh, guh, gug, gluh, ug, ugh, glug... ... guh, gluh, uh, ugh. You had to stop in the middle there to take a little breath. You are human after all.

Anyway your smashing his trouser snake and shit and he fucking loves it and all that and he is like "yeah, yeah, ooh, fuckin' yeah" and shit. Drool is all puddling on the floor beneath you and all that and like splashing all over the place, you know. Like, step off Shamoo, people need to be careful of MY splash zone! And you like grab the shaft in one hand and the balls in the other and stuff and your like working it like that. Your tongue giving it the biggun on his nut balls. Like slip, slop, lollipop mother fucker. Better tongue action than a fucking ant eater. You pushing your tongue down his urethra and give a good old lick all up in there. Then you start slurping on that junk like a fucking kid trying to get the last of their slushy. And his eyes are popping out his head and shit and he's like "Holy shit balls, joker this is a damn acceptable level blow jay." And you like slap it on your forehead and shit and like maybe prod yourself in the eye with it a bit, I dunno. And you like slap it and he looks at you like "uh okay, I s’pose" and then you slap it again because fuck it. And back in the face opening it goes. Plunger noise returns. And he maybe grabs your hair or maybe not, maybe if you're into that and you're not but maybe you are. And he is all like, "I'm going to do a cum" and you're like "pardon?" And he's like "I'm going to do a cum" and you're like, "sorry what?" And he's like "I'm going to..." and you stop sucking and are like, "I'm so sorry, I can't hear you over the racket". He's like, "ever so sorry, I was just letting you know, I was going to do a bit of a cum" and you're like, "Right you are, Sonny Jim" and stick his whoopsie back in your cock pocket of a mouth. Then all of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, *pew, pew* he does a bit of a cum in your throat making you gag. Then like a fucking fireman's house, white spaff juice sprays out of the end sending you flying backwards as he drenches you with his load. Like DRENCHES you. When he is done, you pull a hanky from your pocket and wipe the corners of your mouth. You have some class after all.

You get to your feet and walk back over to him, a twinkle in your pink eye.

"Thanks Joker, that was okay, I really fuckin' needed that".

You blush slightly and lean in for a kiss. As your faces connect you take his lip in between your teeth and hold it there. You hold it there until you feel it go slack in your grasp, until his eye's glaze over and then you pull out the knife you had plunged into his throat, his blood starting to gush over you. His body goes limp and falls to the floor with a thud. The vibration knocks Lucille from her perch and she falls across his slumped body. You wipe the blood from the knife on your shirt and place it back through your belt, behind your back. You had finally got what you had come for and you didn't care what it took to get it. You didn't fear the walking dead but you did fear what someone might do to you if they found you like this so you decide it best to head off. You step over Negan's lifeless body and start your walk home. After all, people will be waking up soon and it's a long walk back to Alexandria.

... oh yeah! You sing "I'm a slave to your games. I'm just a sucker for pain" as you walk off or something.

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Bee’s 6K “Roll the Dice” Writing Challenge Masterlist

Thank you so much to everyone who took part in this writing challenge! It was a little bit different, a whole lot fun, and I loved every entry, so thank you <3

Hope you guys enjoy them all too <3

Red Cold River by @moosekateer13 - dark!Jared x Reader

THWACK by @4point7 - Negan x Reader

To Be Him by @deeranger - dark!Sam x Reader

Love is in the Little Things by @thinkinghardhardlythinking - Dean x Reader

Raise Hell by @becs-bunker - Dean x Reader

One Hell of a Stable by @letsby - Negan x Reader

Last First Kiss by @msmarvelouswinchester - Jensen x Reader

Missing Pieces by @daydream3r-xo - Dean x sister!reader x Sam

Repeated Mistakes by @princessmisery666 - Dean x Reader

Let's Keep Her by @fandomfic-galore - dark!Dean x Reader x dark!Sam

Carry On by @hoboal87 - Sam x Reader (SPN finale spoilers)

The Symbol of my Soul by @waywardnerd67 - Dean x Reader (crossover with MCU)

Red by @savior-adriana - Negan x Reader (Dark elements)

Hurts like Hell by @justagirlinafandomworld - Dean x Reader

Goodbye by @firefly-in-darkness - Dean x Reader

Worse by @jay-and-dean - Dean x Reader

[justagirlinafandomworld]

hurts like hell

Pairing: Alpha! Dean Winchester x Fem!Beta! Reader (Y/N)

Summary: You love Dean Winchester, Alpha and heir to the Winchester pack. But his parents believe Dean will only be a strong pack leader with an Omega mate at his side. A wedding date is set and Dean, ever the dutiful son, will not let his parents down. You love Dean Winchester, and it hurts like hell.

Word Count: 2,996 (this was painful to cut down)

Warnings: ANGST with a two second happy ending. Language. 18+ content. A/B/O dynamics with a touch of inner wolves and a focus more on classism than smut.

Challenge Prompt / Square Filled:  “ You do make me hard, but she makes me weak.” /  “You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without.”

A/N: Written for @negans-lucille-tblr ‘s 6k Roll the Dice Challenge, thanks for letting me participate love! If you are an avid reader of that darker, hotter Winchester content, definitely check out her masterlist as she has some delicious stories to share. Also written to fill a square for @spnquotebingo. And the lovely dividers are provided by the talented @firefly-graphics​. Happy reading!!

Dean had agreed to meet you for one purpose. To end it.

With words that had been force fed and then practiced, he ripped out your heart and crushed it bloody with his fingers. But his wolf would not have it, he saw you in distress and wanted nothing more than to ease your pain. He slipped.

When his face buried into your neck, his breath hot on your sensitive skin, you shuddered against him, eyes rolling to the ceiling.  Suddenly your growl was less directed at him than it was at yourself for reveling in the feel of him against you.

“You can’t do this!” Using your forearms and elbows, you shoved him back, yelling at him; “You can’t say you’re going to marry her and then try to fuck me, Dean. What is your problem?”

He stumbled back a step, horror washing over him a moment before he was snarling and snapping at you the next.

“You are my problem. You are the bad habit I can’t drop. The toxic drug that will destroy me and the future of my pack.”

It was all bullshit, but he had to say it. He had to keep himself from doing what he so desperately wanted, to lose himself in the feel of you, in the sounds of your pleasure and the scent of your sex. He wanted you, all of you, but there was more at stake here than what would make him happy.

If you were thinking clearly, you would have recognized his confliction. But on top of fighting his advances and your own crumbling will, you were trying to hold back the hot tears stinging behind your eyes, to keep a breaking heart from completely falling apart. It felt like he wanted to hurt you. And so, you wanted to hurt him back.

“It’s not my fault she can’t make you hard like I do.”

“Yeah, you do make me hard,” he said, his voice quaking with emotion. “But she makes me weak.”

Words delivered coldly to perfectly shatter your wounded, bleeding heart. The tears dotted your vision and your anger gushed freely.

“Go to her then, you sonofabitch,” you spat in his face. “Go to your precious Omega, who is clean and good and doesn’t have a drop of blood on her perfect hands-”

There was a loud crash, a lamp thrown to the floor and his mouth was over yours, viciously stealing the very words from your tongue before you could finish. Your hip banged against the nightstand knocking the phone to the carpet as he pressed into you. Your mouth readily opened to his, tongue sliding along his to enter his mouth and take your words back.

Your leg hooked around his hip so that the bulge in his pants slotted nicely between your legs. Dean growled into your mouth at the friction. Your fingernails dragged up his shoulder blades, deep enough to pierce skin as he pushed you further over the nightstand.

His hands cupped your ass and suddenly you were thrown backwards to land sprawled across the bed. He was over you, his hot mouth on yours, hands roaming and groping you.

Digging your feet into the edge of the mattress, you rolled him over so you could straddle him at the waist. Falling forward, you clamped onto his wrists, holding them down on either side of his head, your faces mere centimeters apart.

The beauty of his face drew you in as it always had, with the smattering of freckles across his slightly bent nose, with the smooth planes of his perfect pink lips, and the gold flecks in his forest green eyes. And the way he stared up at you; like you were the only one in the world. Like you were his, like he was yours.

Your breasts brushed his chest as the two of you panted each other’s air. The weight of your actions came crashing down over you. Your face crumpled, but before you could outright cry, you pulled away and rolled off of him. You grabbed your jacket and stormed out, slamming the door so that the walls shook.

Dean stayed flat on the bed, his pulse drumming in his ears, unable to get the image of your face, broken and wretched, out of his mind.

The wedding was the event of the winter season, Winchester wolves were riding into town in droves. They filled up restaurants, motels and dive bars, their Omegas crowding everything else. You kept a low profile, avoiding the haunts you knew Dean would be, the coffee shops Sam stopped by on his morning runs.

You even kept your distance from anyone who knew of your relationship with Dean. Everyone knew the importance of the alliance with the Northern pack and you weren’t about to put them in a position of choosing sides.

The only person you could talk to was Ellie, a ranch hand for the Cassity family on the outskirts of town, and another Beta. She listened to your tale while halfway under a work truck, changing out the oil.

“What about the wedding?” Her voice drifted up to where you sat in the driver’s seat.

“What about it?”

She huffed and pushed a bucket full of drained oil out from under the truck “The whole town is going, will you?”

You had been in denial that the wedding was ever going to happen, leaving you without a plan as the day fast approached.

“Maybe I’ll ask Jody to put me on border patrol. She’ll have to be strapped for volunteers that day.”

After a moment, Ellie pushed out from underneath the truck and fixed her dark eyes upon you. Black oil smeared her cheek, a coat of dirt dusted her face and the front of her coveralls.

“How many years have you been with the Winchesters?”

You crossed your arms tight around yourself and shrugged. “It’s not like I was raised within the family.”

Suddenly Ellie was hugging you, wrapping you in her arms and pressing her face down into your shoulder. You were struck silent by the embrace, until you realized your vision had become blurry, your face wet with tears.

“For someone as smart as he is, Dean really is stupid,” she murmured into your shoulder. “Everyone knows you don’t marry someone you can live with; you marry the person you cannot live without.”

Your breath shook so terribly, you did not trust yourself to respond. But you knew that no matter how hard it would be, you could live without Dean Winchester in your life. And clearly, he could live without you in his.

It was the morning of the wedding and Dean could not look himself in the mirror. His mother, Mary, sat silently in the corner, watching as he struggled with the tie at his neck. Both listened as Sam went over a list of meetings that would need to take place before the ceremony. Their father, John, was already seated in a brunch with both the bride’s parents.

Dean’s eyes flicked towards his mother, before dropping to the floor as he untied the knot at his neck again.

“Shouldn’t you be there with him?” He asked.

Mary’s gaze was steady as she answered, “I’m where I need to be.”

“Right,” Dean said with a sharp smile before turning away. “God forbid I have even a second to myself.”

“To do what?” She pushed.

Sensing the sharp rise of tension in the room, Sam’s gaze flicked between the two. Mary Winchester was not the typical Omega. There was a steel confidence to her, bred from being raised in a pack of Betas who always treated her as an equal and not as a commodity as most Omegas were treated throughout their lives. It was this confidence that drew John to her and had her so easily accepted in the pack. It was this confidence that shaped Dean and Sam to be respected Alphas who treated everyone fair regardless of rank.

It was what unsettled Dean the most about his current predicament.

“Sam,” Dean said to his brother. It was all the order Sam needed to excuse himself from the room. Once the door clicked shut, Dean pulled the tie completely from his neck and wrapped it tightly around one hand. “I’m going to say something, and I need you to understand that this is something I have thought about for a while. I’m not just throwing this out there to be difficult.”

Mary’s heeled feet slid as one underneath her chair, her back straightened. It was all the clearance she was going to give him to speak. Dean paced across the room, his face tilting upwards as if searching for the right words before he reached the wall and slowly turned back to her.

“You know what I gave up for this,” he started, green eyes searching his mother’s blue. “You know who.”

The tiny furrow appeared between her eyebrows, the disappointment Dean had always tried to avoid since he was a kid.

“This is about the Beta.”

“This is about Y/N,” Dean corrected with heat to his voice. “You have known her for five years, are you really not going to say her name?”

“Get to the point, Dean.”

He bristled at the dismissal but checked his anger. The only hope he had of doing this, would be with his mother’s support.

“I love her,” he said. “I love her and want her in my life as my partner, my mate, my wife. I thought I could do this. I thought I could be your good little soldier and give myself, my life to the future of this pack. Hell, sometimes I even think I want to. But not like this. Not by breaking her heart.”

When Mary said nothing, Dean stepped forward with a small spark of hope that he was reaching her, the Mary raised by Betas, his mother who used to play with him as a child, laugh with her sons, and fought tooth and nail for their happiness and success.

“I did what I had to, said what I had to, to make sure she would run away. But that was wrong. Mom, we were wrong. Because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He stopped right in front of Mary, his bottom lip catching under his teeth as he shook his head. “I won’t be half the leader I could be, without her at my side.”

Mary’s blue eyes glistened as she stared up at her son, her frown kept carefully in place.

“Mom, please.”

At that her lips parted, and breath escaped as if she had been struck. The future of the pack and her son’s happiness were firmly placed within her hands.

Darkness had fallen by the time you made your way back to the guard post by the road. The frosty air bit at your cheeks and watered your eyes while sweat drenched your undershirt and socks. You had stayed out in the wilderness all day, away from the radio and news of the newly wedded Winchesters. When the fireworks popped and exploded across the inky black sky, you knew the ceremony was concluded with the reception well underway.

As you unlocked the door to the small building, the wind pushed at the hood of your jacket, chilling the back of your sweat-slicked neck so that your movements became hurried. Flicking the lights on, you pressed the messages on the office phone to play, then began to unbutton your coat and coveralls.

Some messages you knew you could leave for the night shift to handle, but when Toby’s voice came through saying another shipment meant for the Cassity ranch had been delivered to the Cassidy farm a town over, you rolled your eyes and picked up the receiver.

As the line rang in your ear, your peripheral caught a figure moving through the darkness outside the window. Dropping the receiver back into its cradle, you slipped your arms back into the sleeves of your coveralls and reached for the shotgun under the desk, but your wolf told you to stop. Confused at the order, your eyes went to the door as if trying to sense who or what was on the other side.

On the other side of the door, Dean stood in the cold with his hand caught between going for the knob and knocking. His hot breath drifted in wisps through the air. He could sense your hesitation, your confusion and it scared him. Because he had pushed you so far, hurt you to the point you could not fathom that he would be the one to come see you.

Right when he began to reconsider his approach, the door swung open, the yellow light washing over him. His heart stuttered in his chest at the sight of you, coveralls unzipped down the middle to reveal the white sweater and blue jeans underneath, your eyes wide in both confusion and disbelief.

He wanted to hold you, wrap his cold hands around your warm waist, bury his face in the scent of your neck and kiss your lips raw. He wanted to apologize and say that there was no one else. There could never be anyone else, Alpha, Omega, or Beta. But soon, the surprise disappeared from your face. Sadness tugged at the corners of your mouth and your eyes dropped from his to look anywhere but at him.

And that hurt.

He was still dressed in the white buttoned shirt, with the black jacket and a black peacoat that framed him beautifully. Yes, brides were beautiful and the center of weddings, but Dean was dressed to be the real star of the night, and it killed you the longer you stared at him.

“What are you doing here?” You forced yourself to ask.

“Do you hate me?”

Your chest ached at the sound of his voice, deep with a hint of fear, but his words somehow hurt more. Your eyes, already made sensitive by the cold, easily watered, and clouded your vision as heat rushed to your face.

“No,” you said with a wobbling voice. “No, I don’t hate you.”

At your admission, Dean took an audible breath in, as if you had just removed a great weight from his shoulders.

“Do you still love me?” Your mouth fell open and you moved to close the door. But Dean kept it open with a hand, his face crumbling in anguish as he moved inside. You tried to back away, the tears falling freely now. When Dean spoke, he was breathless, as if his own heart were on the precipice of shattering. “Wait, please, please. Y/N…”

He stepped into your space to gently close the door behind him, you forced your gaze away from his. But just as he yearned to touch you, you wished you could fall against him.

“Y/N, just tell me. If you don’t love me, I will walk out of here and leave you alone forever.” At your silence, he dared to lift his fingers to your temple in a ghost of a caress. “But if you still love me, if you still want me…”

Tentatively, your face lifted to his, your eyes meeting his glassy green. Your eyebrows twitched to the center as you tried to reach through your hurt for his meaning.

“Dean,” you whispered. “You’re married, what…”

The facial changes were minimal, but they transformed everything so that you could tell he was holding something back.

“No, I’m not,” he said. “I couldn’t go through with it. I was trying to do the right thing for the pack, for my parents, but in doing that I hurt the one person who mattered the most. Because you see, I still love you. I still want you. I always have, sweetheart, and I have been such an idiot. I…”

He dropped his head back in a vain attempt to hold back his tears. His tongue dragged over his bottom lip and when he looked back down at you, there was only one thing he felt he could say.

“I don’t deserve you. I never did. But there is no one else on this earth that I would rather spend the rest of my days with. You are who I want to make smile. You are who I want to adore and spoil and raise a litter of kids with. You make me hard, you make me weak, you make me the best man I never dreamed I ever could be. So please, just tell me if you still lo-”

“-I do,” the words left your mouth, cutting him off and taking you both by surprise. Heart thundering in your chest, you leaned towards him. “Of course, I still love you, you asshole.”

He could barely hope to laugh, but his smile was watery and brilliant. Hesitantly, his hands ran down either side of your arms, stopping to cup your elbows. He could smell the fragrance of dogwood trees on your collar, your own natural perfume kept just beneath the layer of coveralls.

Your hands lifted to his forearms, momentarily marveling at the warmth of his peacoat. Then, you remembered the fireworks that called you back to the post.

“If you didn’t marry her,” you spoke in a hush as he had leaned in significantly closer. “Then what were the fireworks for?”

He did his best to hold it back, but he winced.

“Sam may have stepped in to uphold the alliance.”

“He, what?!” Before you could lay into Dean all the reasons that was a bad idea, all of course stemming from you believing the happiness of others was more important than your own, he pulled you in the rest of the way and kissed you.

This was far from over, but for the night, you were content to be wrapped in the arms of the man you loved, kissing him silly.

Dean Tags: @akshi8278

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Okay so- challenge time- gimme Sam and/or Dean and/or both 😏 (I have a fear of commitment because my muse is a bitch) and 🌑 DaRk 🌑

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO USE THAT GIF MADS! Oh I'm excited okay...

I want to break my baby - hold her down

Personal fave. Can't wait to read.

Bee's 6k Roll the Dice Writing Challenge

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Bee congrats on reaching 6k. Well deserved 👏 .

For your roll the dice challenge I'd love to do a dark Jared x Reader 😈.

Thank you lovely! Ooh dark Jared! 👀😍

Your roll is...

Another good girl that I'll probably destroy

Have fun 👀😍

Bee's 6k Roll the Dice Writing Challenge

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Dean you ass 😒

This was so in character for him though it kinda hurts 😣

This was so angsty and beautiful Daisy 😭 Dean's drunk voicemails though 🥺 urgh and the "you're more than a friend" 😭😭😭

I'll see myself out and just go cry it's fine

Thank you for taking part in the challenge lovely girl, love you loads ❤️

Goodbye

Characters → Y/N & Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester [mentioned]

Summary → Y/N can’t fight her feelings anymore, she has to leave.

Prompt → “I didn’t have it in me to go with grace.” [In bold]

Word Count → 1.3k

Warnings → 18+, canon typical violence, angst. no happy ending.

Beta → @writethelifeyouwant // all mistakes are my own.

A/N → This is for @negans-lucille-tblr ‘roll the dice’ challenge, enjoy the angst! Well, it’s been a while since I wrote about our Dean, but looks like I’ve gone straight in for the kill. Sorry, not sorry. As always, love feedback, comments and reblogs!

Masterlist

Sam understood why Y/N was packing to leave. Dean didn’t.

“You can’t leave.” Dean’s voice was stern as he stood in the doorway of the motel room, arms crossed with authority. “Please wait a few days, rest up. We can talk about this then.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to bluff her way through this, couldn’t avoid how she felt about Dean bursting out in an array of words that would leave her in more pain than ever before. Her only option was to leave. She couldn’t have this conversation, it hurt too much and it would end up the same way no matter how she worded it. She would be rejected by Dean and must leave the Winchesters.

Keep reading

[letsby]

One Hell of a Stable

Negan x Black!Reader

Negan isn’t one for sleeping with women who turn down his proposals. But there’s something about this cowgirl that he just can’t resist...

A/N: This is my entry for @negans-lucille-tblr‘s Roll The Dice Challenge. Congrats on the milestone Bee! My prompt was, “You’ve got me wanting some body on body contact.” My chosen genre was smut. 

Warnings: Explicit smut - over 18 readers only. Mild Daddy kink. Obscure Lonesome Dove reference. Beta: My Purple Princess @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes 💜 WC: 2811. I did it Bee lol 

Negan had only the vaguest idea of what there was to plunder in the newest community to come under his control. As far as he knew, all these people had to offer was warm bodies and a cabbage patch. But the size of the area had piqued his interest and once that happens, there’s not much on this officially godforsaken earth that can turn his head.

One week after the leader had been sent home with his tail between his legs and two bodies to bury, Negan and his Saviors showed up to take inventory. The gates had nothing but trees behind them and after announcing their arrival with a cacophony of car horns they waited for the answering sound of a vehicle bearing the greeting party.

The sound of hooves instead of an engine gave Negan that sense of pleasant surprise that he held so dear. Being made to feel happy in any way was what made it bearable having to summon the rage to be a truly effective master.

The gate slid open, revealing four people on horseback.

“Well looky what we have here!” Negan strutted forward. One of the riders was already dismounting. “If I didn’t know no better I’d say we found the beings responsible for the shit show our world has become!” He smiled at the approaching man, the leader he had all but crushed under his boot seven days ago.

“Ain’t nothin’ biblical about us, Negan.”

“So, what then Luke? Is this Southfork?” He leaned in with a toothy smile. “Did I just accidentally take over Lonesome Dove?”

A snort from one of the riders drew his quick hazel eyes. It had come from a woman sitting comfortably astride a tall buckskin horse. Her features were mostly hidden by her straw cowboy-style hat, but he hadn’t missed the quirk of her full lips. He wondered what was showing in those shadowed eyes. He’d bet on contempt. Not that he was going to let that stop him having a good, long look at the glowing brown skin on show where the top buttons of her shirt had been left undone. He looked at any new woman in that lascivious way, and they always looked at him the way she was now. Didn’t matter. They would always kneel, one way or the other.

“We’ll escort you up to the main building. If you get back in your vehicle-”

“You know what!” Negan barked, making Luke jump and slightly spooking two of the horses. “It has been forever since I took a ride on horseback. I do believe I’ll flank the convoy with you fine people.” He stared the leader down and waited.

“Oh. Well sure. I can ride with Simon there and you can take my horse.”

Negan ‘s inner smile was wider than his outer one. This prick had been all too easy to bend to his will. What kind of a cowboy simply offered up his horse like that? Of course Negan had no idea if there were any steers behind these fences, but he already fancied himself as the big bad chief come to exact revenge on the pilgrims. Lord knows, he had already decided on what he was going to pillage first. Or rather, who. 

“Ah, I am ashamed to admit I’m not much of a horseman. I’ll just hitch a ride.”

“Okay then. My horse is strong, you can hop up behind-”

“That one!” Luke followed Negan’s leather clad pointer finger and found Y/N and her beautiful buckskin gelding. He wanted to protest, but what might Lucille have to say about that? He could only watch as Negan strolled over to his most desirable deputy. 

Negan got as close to the horse as he deemed safe and looked up at the rider, hands on his many-belted hips. “Mornin’ ma’am.”

She tilted her head and he could see now that not only was her face a pretty one, but there was no trace of fear to be seen on it. She was more...inquisitive. Like she’d spotted a nice pair of shoes that weren’t usually her taste. 

“So you’re Negan. I’m Y/N.”

“Well that just happens to be my favourite name!”

“Lucky you,” she answered drily.

“And I suppose this handsome fella is Sugar.” Negan reached out and patted the horse’s neck. The horse seemed to like it.

Traitor, she thought to herself.

“This is Jackie. Climb on up.” She jerked her head back and Negan grinned up at her before doing as she said.

*****

Negan’s grip on her waist was firm, and she felt for sure it wasn’t far enough away from her chest for him not to feel the hammering of her heart. Meeting the guy was one thing, but she thought she’d at least have time to adjust before getting so...close. He was dangerous, and she had never been one for romanticising dangerous men. His appearance had disarmed her; not one guy like him she’d met in the new world had been anything less than fugly. Fortunately his personality was helping to dampen any confusing ardour.

It was a good thing she had become such an accomplished rider, since this Negan guy did not shut up from the second Jackie started to move. Every hundred yards he found something to comment on, even when there was nothing to see but a stand of trees and mulberry bushes. After twenty minutes she’d had enough.

“Hot diggety dog! Look at the size of that oak!”

“You know I live here right? I don’t need an audio guide.”

Negan laughed. It was a low sound, but not especially gentle. It was actually kind of seductive.

“Am I on your last nerve already doll? Say it ain't so.”

“Oh, please do not start calling me ‘doll’,” she said witheringly, not knowing that his flirtatious side was about as hard to dry out as a cactus. 

“Just did,” he said simply. “Jesus, this saddle is already making my ass numb. How’d ya stand it?”

“I know you’re not tryna make me talk about your ass, Negan.” Subconsciously she shifted in the saddle she wasn’t used to sharing, at least not with such a...grown man. The response was that tempting laugh in her ear again, followed by a purring suggestion.

“We can talk about your ass if you want. I bet I could do that for days.”

She gave up on trying to get Negan to behave. The man was a conversational minefield. Greeted with silence Negan smiled and sat up straighter, pressing up close to Y/N’s back. Twin pressure from hitting the horn of the saddle and whatever Negan had going on in his pants made her gasp. She looked around sharply. Nobody but Negan seemed to have heard. And apparently he had heard enough that he was content to stay quiet for the rest of the ride. 

********

“It’s really just a basic stable, Negan, I don’t see why I need to show you personally.”

“Where else is a stallion like me gonna go first? Besides, you don’t have to think about my orders, Y/N. Just follow ‘em.”

“Fine,” she sighed, pulling the doors open and leading Jackie inside. Negan followed, and stopped to admire the space. It was tall, with light streaming through the windows near the ceiling.

“Well hell, this place is actually kinda romantic!”

“If you like straw and horseshit,” sniffed Y/N, leading Jackie into his stall. She closed the half-door behind her and Negan did the same with the stable door.

“You didn’t have to do that. He’s not gonna bolt.”

“Maybe I’m just making sure you don’t.”

Her eyes widened and she busied herself tending to her horse. Her fingers fumbled over his bridal; her heart rate was up again. Negan wouldn’t be the first man to come in here and offer her a roll in the hay, but she had no idea what he’d do in the face of rejection. She found herself hoping he’d turn out to be a gentleman, killer or not. Hell, not many people could claim not to have taken life these days, including her. Didn’t make everyone bad. Mostly it just made them a

“Survivor.”

“What?”

Negan was leaning over the stall door, hands clasped. 

“I was saying you look like a survivor. No way in hell a pretty thing like you can get by these days without instincts.”

“What you know about my instincts,” she muttered, finally freeing Jackie of his bridal and going to work on the saddle.

“Remains to be seen.” Negan punctuated the sentence with a click of his tongue, and for some baffling reason the sharp sound seemed to hit her right between her thighs. Once Jackie was settled she stepped out of the stall and came to Negan’s side. He was looking around, craning his neck.

“That an honest-to-god hayloft?”

“Yup,” she answered, popping the “p”. She took off her hat and mussed her curls. When she was done she found Negan looking right at her. He had nice eyes. She cleared her throat.

“So, like I told you. Basic stable. We have room for ten horses but right now there’s only eight. You got a stable yourself?”

She cursed herself for asking him a question, remembering how hyperverbal it made him last time. 

“You might say that. Ain’t got no horses, though.” He turned his body to her and smiled wickedly.

“Are you saying you have a...what’s the word...harem?”

“Some would call it that.”

“Oh my god,” she laughed, walking towards a palomino who was fussing in his stall. She allowed herself to feel relieved; if Negan had a pack of wives back wherever he’d appeared from he wouldn’t be interested in pursuing her. Maybe now she could at least enjoy the way he looked in a kinda guilt and stress free way.

“That shock you doll?”

“Now I warned you about that, Negan.” The air crackled as he came closer. 

“Alright. I won’t call you that again, I promise. And you must know by now my word is as solid as my cock on a Saturday night.”

Her mouth went dry. He could not start talking about his cock, not now.

“Hmmm. Okay then. Thank you.”

“Yep. And it starts the minute you agree to come home with me and take your place as my newest wife.”

“What?!” 

The recently-calmed horse whinnied, and she moved away from the stall. Negan was close behind. He admired her curves, thinking it a shame she had to wear such tatty jeans. He could dress her up nice, real nice. 

“Why the hell not? You are one big ol’ bag of superfine sugar and I have the most insatiable sweet tooth.”

She rounded on him, but he didn’t stop walking. Dumbly, she stepped back, not knowing what else to do with the million ways he was making her head spin. Eventually her back hit a wooden wall and there was only her heavy breaths and Negan's hand coming to the side of her head.

“You say you’re sick of straw and horseshit-”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Shush.” Negan put a finger on her lips, and she almost took it in her mouth. “Don’t interrupt me, Y/N. I don’t like that.”

“Okay,” she whispered. Inside she was screaming. What was happening? How could this guy be making her act like this?

“Are you really saying no to marrying me?”

Well, that she could at least respond to sensibly.

“I’m not saying no, Negan.”

He smiled and leaned in.

“I’m saying ‘hell no’.”

His smile fell. He looked away from her determined face, only to find that beautiful chest betraying her with its rise and fall. Not to mention the stiffening nipples.

“Fine. You know.” He looked up. “Usually I don't mess around with women I aint married to. Kinda old fashioned like that.”

She rolled her eyes, righting them when he cupped her jaw firmly.

“But you put me under some kinda spell the second I saw you straddling that big beast of yours. You got me wanting some body on body contact before I leave here.”

The last of her resolve tried to run from the stable, and she caught it by it’s coat tails.

“You had that. God knows you were close on the ride up here.”

Negan chuckled. He let go of her face slowly, only to shove his hand swiftly between her legs.

“Oh god.” Her hips bucked; she couldn’t help it.

“That was one lame attempt at being a smart ass, Y/N. You are better than that.” He increased the pressure and leaned back. The hand by her head came to her front and went to work deftly on her buttons.

“Negan, we can’t.”

“We can and we will, doll.”

She opened her mouth to tell him off again but he only covered it with his own, taking advantage of the attempt at speech and licking into her mouth. She groaned and gave in, her answering kiss was wet and heated. She was grinding down onto his hand now, marvelling at his touch even through the layers of clothes. He took it away and shrugged out of his leather jacket.

“Unbutton those jeans, doll. Let me show you how well I can really touch that pussy.”

It had been too long since she’d had a good lay; if this guy knew what he was doing as well as he seemed to, she couldn’t bear to say no.

He knew. God, he knew. His hand and fingers stroked and teased and twisted until her legs were shaking and his wrist was soaked. Not trusting her cries she buried her face in his chest, mouthing at his white t-shirt. The second she was quiet he pushed her away and went to work on his own pants. She watched his hands, transfixed, waiting to see what had been teasingly pressed into her back earlier on. She wasn’t prepared.

“Damn.” It was all she could say. Negan stroked himself and put his hand on her shoulder, pushing her down.

“Come on doll, get that gorgeous mouth on my dick. Show me what I'll be missing when I’m back home with my wives.”

That should have put her off, but it didn’t. She was too far gone, he’d made her come too hard. In that moment she did want to show him what he’d be missing. Part of her wanted him picturing her when he was with the fucktoys that made up his own stable. 

She went to her knees and tried to treat Negan as well as he’d treated her. One hand working his shaft, her mouth kissing and licking and taking him down. Negan petted her hair and cradled her face, his hand going to the back of her head when she had him so far down she dropped her hand.

“That’s it, beautiful. All the way down for daddy. Fuck!”

If she could have smiled with his cock down her throat she would have. Negan wasn’t holding her tightly and she pulled back easily when she’d had enough. Now she could smile, and she could see the prideful look on his face. It made her pussy ache.

“Stand up.”

The moment she was upright he spun her around. He worked her jeans down to her ankles and kicked at her cowboy boots. Her legs couldn’t spread very far, and that was fine by both of them. When his cock started to stretch her open though, she panicked.

“Negan!”

“What baby?” he asked, seeing the way she was looking over her shoulder at him.

“I, I can’t.”

“Oh you had better be joking!”

“No, just...I’m gonna be loud. I know it. They can’t hear us please!”

Negan considered her for a moment. He did not give one tiny rat's ass who heard them. Hell, he wanted to be heard. Who wouldn’t want the world to know they were balls deep in the finest cunt for miles around? Still, he liked this girl. She probably deserved a little gentlemanly behaviour.

“Face the wall Y/N.”

“Negan-”

“Trust me baby,” he cooed. “Daddy’s got you.”

She did as he said, and just before he slid in to the hilt he covered her mouth with his big, gloved hand. She smiled behind it and arched her back, inviting him to ruin her. 

And Negan never turned down an invite like that. 

Y/N left the stable with splinters in her forearms and Negan’s cum all over her ass. Her panties stuck to her skin uncomfortably, but she couldn’t have cared less.

Losing control of their community sucked. But Negan left that day with a promise to come back for another ride. So long as he didn’t start making indecent proposals again, she would be more than happy to oblige.

Thanks for reading! This is my first black!reader insert. How did I do?

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