#beginagaintaylorswift

[louaylorslut]

i watched it begin again…

story: in which harry and y/n meet at the cinema

warnings: talk of loneliness/sadness, overthinking, trust issues, little insecurity

longhair!harry x lonely!reader

just a lil baby fluff (one shot!!)

!not proofread guys im sorry im lazy:((

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The sadness you’ve been feeling for the last couple of days has been getting overwhelming.

You just finished your exams and you were over the moon to meet up with your friends, since while you were so busy studying, you barely got to see them. What you didn’t take into account however, is that you only have two friends, who are both in relationships AND also have multiple other friends.

So here you are, alone at home crying on your pillow yet again. You really wanted to see the new Inside Out movie, because while you were killing yourself over school, you kinda had no free time to watch films and you missed out on a lot. So you didn’t want to be even more out of the loop. Plus it’s a good reason to leave the house, clear your head a little, and of course meet your friends.

But both your friends had already watched it with their partners and it made you sad. You feel like they never have time for you anymore.

So you just cry, and cry in your bed like a lonely fucking loser you clearly are. Well I mean what can we do? It’s not their fault is it? Let them be happy. Be happy FOR them.

So that’s what you did, you calmed yourself down and sat in your bed and thought about life. You wanted to be free after this exam season, you promised to yourself you’d do things out of your comfort zone, you swore you’d live.

So that’s why you’re standing here, in que for one of the cinema’s of your capital city (that’s right you took the train just for this, to show yourself how adventurous you really are).

You’re a little nervous you gotta admit, but it feels good, you don’t need other people to have fun, even though you’re bit of a team spirit, you’re sure you’ll do fine on your own.

“Hi” is a word you hear but ignore

“Helloo” you hear the same voice now a little melodically, greet someone again, but now coming from closer, so now you turn the sound’s way and you are greeted with a tall guy with long hair and a kind smile, he looks sort of pretty really, but you don’t know, maybe it’s just the fact that you are really hungry for someone’s attention, something that he’s giving you undivided right now.

“Hey?” you reply with a small but kind, charming smile waiting for what he has to say, a little awkwardly, you try and not to sound intimidated but this guy does intimidate you.

He offers you a kind smile and asks something you weren’t prepared for. “You’re waiting for someone?”

You can’t help but be a little thrown by that, I mean why would he ask that? It’s either he’s a fuckboy and just wants to chat you up or this is some kind of new thing the cinema’s doing to make the que go faster, asking the people still in the que if they have a ticket, or it’s a third one and you look so desperate alone that he maybe wants to give you money because he feels sorry for you. Yeah, pretty sure it’s the second one.

“Oh, no” you reply with the same tight and warm smile, shaking your head a little “It’s just me” now that you think about it you’re cursing yourself WHY would you tell him, what if he’s a creep and he’ll follow you home? I mean it’s dark in the cinema you’ll keep an eye on him and you’ll leave early it’s fine. Your best friend said the after credits scene isn’t worth the wait anyway. You’ll be fine just play it cool.

“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to pry, I just- I was waiting for someone…” the man infront of you confesses with some emotion in his eye.

You notice his fragility, you don’t really have the mental capacity for a heart to heart right now, but who knows, maybe forgetting about your problems can only be achieved if you’re sorting out someone else’s, plus you like to give advice, so, you’ll help the boy.

“I’m sorry, I’m so- I don’t know why I’m saying this i just didn’t expect it” he starts rambling and you see in his eye, besides the regret of him dumping this on you, the emotion they hold is disbelief? disappointment? a bit of bruised ego perhaps?

Now, you can tell he’s a hot guy, he has this skaterboy-but also rockstar look about him, with his black clothes, tattoos, eyeliner, rings and painted nails, oh and also -how could you forget- his long hair.

“You know what forget it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for bothering you, I’m gonna leave” he says embarrassed

“Nodon’tleave-“ you blurt out a bit too loud and fast, before you could stop yourself. Mental fucking self palm. He smirks at that.

“I’m sorry I’m sure you don’t want my pity but I feel sorry for you. I relate- I understand I mean. I always end up rambling and oversharing and people almost never react how I’d like them to, and I don’t want to be one of those people. So, please tell me” you smile at him reassuringly while you both move forward in the que.

“Thanks love, umm that’s it though really, I was ‘stood up’ I guess, but I don’t really care I didn’t know her, like at all, but it really hurt my stupid fucking fragile man ego. It’s sounds so dumb I know, I just don’t understand why someone would do something like that?” he shares his feelings

“Wow, that’s a lot” You make a little joke, making it obvious with dramatic face expressions, he seems to get worried for a second, but then he gets it and laughs.

“O-kay, so I think, it obviously took a lot of guts for you to admit to yourself about that bruised ego, however, if you don’t care about her, you didn’t know her then you shouldn’t really care right?” you say and he nods but lets you continue “I understand that this is a sucky feeling, I mean I personally never been stood up,” you say and he moves his lips into a straight line “but I’m sure it sucks, though” you laugh a little “you might have picked the wrong person to pour your heart out to, I actually support women putting narcissistic men in their places” he laughs and tongues at his cheek “WHICH I’m not saying you are, but that’s how it came off, just sayin” he makes a playful smile, like he’s taking on your challenge of teasing “I think you should’ve tried your luck with maybe that girl over there” you say as you point to a brunette sitting alone, melancholy staring into her popcorn. He looks the way your hand is pointing and laughs “Yeah well I’m sorry but I already chose you, so, therefore, I need to complete my challenge, hate to say it” he says jokingly, putting his hands up in surrender as you move up in line

“Oh yeah? That’s the challenge, can’t give that up can you? “ you joke

“Oh yes exactly, that’s it,” He laughs a little “and if I don’t complete it I’ll cry myself to sleep, and you don’t wanna do that to me so you’re stuck with me for tonight” he jokingly pouts “Yeaah poor little baby, wouldn’t even dream of snagging an opportunity like this from you” you say sarcastically

“Why were you coming to watch a kid’s movie for a first date anyway?” you ask curiously as you arrive at the ticket check-in stand. “We weren’t” he says and you look at him confused, but before you are able to dig further, the girl behind the stand greets you.

“Hello I have a ticket reservation for Y/N Y/L/N” you say with a kind smile. You watch as she starts typing on the computer in front of her then looks back up at you with a smile “Yes, for Inside Out 2 right?” she asks “Yeah, thank you” you say as she gives you the ticket “Here you go, enjoy the film!” She says with a bright smile. “Hi, um I’d also like a ticket to that, if there’s any left” He laughs a little awkwardly “Yeah there is,” she says “where do you wanna sit?” she turn her little screen towards him while he turns to you “Would you like to sit together?” he asks, looking into your eyes “Sure” you crumble under pressure, why would you do that you don’t know, but that’s how you are, you didn’t even think about another answer. It’ll be harder to get away from him now, that’s for sure.

“Seat next to her please” he says “What was your row?” she asks you while you’re thinking and after a couple seconds you react “Oh, row 7 seat 12” you force out “Okay great” she claps her hands and prints and gives the guy his ticket. And this is when you realise you don’t even know his name.

So when you’re walking away you say “Okay 2 things before I forget or someone interrupts again” you says super seriously but he just cracks a lopsided smile. “One. What’s your name?” you look at him fully while walking up to the food-drink stand. “Harry” he replies casually. “Okay Harry, I’d introduce myself but you’ve already heard my name over there, so my second question is something I already forgot- hold on” as you think you arrive at the food stand and since the line isn’t long you’re already at the front.

“Hey I’d like a medium popcorn and a green tea please” you say and before you could even take a breath Harry ducks in “And I’ll have the same” he says “What are you doing?” you whisper confused “What, I can’t do you a nice gesture after you sorted out my problems?” he asks “Did I really though?” you ask in a high pitched voice while sceptically narroving your eyes “Yeah, you did. Really helped me there” he says with a pointed look “You’re not really gonna pay for this, are you?” you ask cautiously “Yes I am” he says firmly “Okay” putting your hand up in surrender “not gonna say no to free food, but don’t expect anything in return!” you point at him “Yes ma’am” he nods with a cheeky smile, dimples poppin out.

He pays, “Could’ve told me this earlier you know, would’ve bought more stuff.” you joke defeated, after letting him win, but still trying to have the last word “Oh, d’you wanna go back and stock up?” He points back from where you’re just walking away from with his eyebrows shooting up and his smile wide and playful “Just go in the damn theatre” you shake your head and you both laugh while you walk in, hand the check-in guy your ticket, he also tells you to enjoy the movie and then you go to your seats.

“Okay, what did I wanna say?” you ask while thinking “Oh yeah” as you remember “If you weren’t gonna come here with the girl, why are you here now then, of all places, to ease the pain in your sad little heart?” you ask ironically with a playful pout

He cracks an amused smile “Well, I’ve wanted to watch the film for a bit, but none of my mates know about it, I don’t think, didn’t ask I mean,” he smiles slightly “but I always see it on Tiktok, even before it came out, and I was walking by the cinema while my shame was taking me home and I saw it was playing so I figured” he shrugs “Well I think that’s great,” you say “didn’t think guys below the age of 13 would wanna see this” you say before you realise how that sounds and your eyebrows shoot up “NOT- I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean that to sound so judgemental,” you panic out in hurry “It’s fine” he says with a reassuring smile “I mean it like, it’s great, that a guy would watch this without shame like-“ god you are just digging yourself deeper “NO I MEAN ahhh god” you take a deep breath while Harry waits for what you have to say with an amused smile, he’s enjoying watching you struggle “What I mean” you start calmly “is that I know it might be like a stigma in society for men to not like this movie cuz emotions and stuff, but I think it’s really cool that you do” you finally finish smiling out, he smiles back “Thank you” you look at each other for like 10 seconds or so

“So” you tear your stares apart awkwardly, he clears his throat “how come you’re here alone, if you didn’t- I mean you said you didn’t get stood up or waiting for anyone” it’s reassuring to see him be nervous and stumble over his words too, doesn’t look like the type. He looks cool and collected.

“Well, I just finished my exams” you start off “Congrats” he says “and I can finally watch movies and do stuff, and just generally get out of the house now, but my friends, they’re busy with their relationships, and other stuff, and I sorta, didn’t have anyone to come with” you say with a week smile and then you form your lips into a line

“You’re not in a relationship?” he asks while looking into your eyes, like he actually cares, that’s nice. You widen your eyes, but quickly collect yourself “No” you say sheepishly looking down “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross a boundary I just thought maybe you’d come with them you know” he says apologetically “Yeah, no I don’t have anyone” you frown “anyone at all right now cuz you know..my friends, so yeah, been kinda down” he looks at you sadly for a beat “I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell, you don’t really radiate sadness” he says it sympatheticly, you feel like you made things too heavy and weepy so you quickly try to change the subject and lift the mood

“But anyway, let’s not talk about that, we got a movie to watch huh?” you say with a bright smile “Yeah right” he says smiling back, and you start talking about what you expect from the film by the trailer and tiktok you’ve seen until it actually starts.

During the movie you talk a little bit, and even though he doesn’t seem to mind, you kind of hold yourself back because you’re definetely a movie talker, but no one you’d met before had liked that so with that in mind, you keep your thoughts to yourself (no matter how much it hurts, you would’ve done that if you were watching it alone anyway) not wanting to upset him or ruin his film experience.

When it’s over and the lights come on, you guess you probably look ridiculous, you had bawled your eyes out to this movie, it’s insane how much it had made you feel. Harry looks at you and smiles understandingly. Bless his heart, he doesn’t make fun of you for it, probably because he felt the same during too, he just didn’t cry, but he understands.

“Omg I’m so sorry for you to see me in this state, I knew I’d cry I probably should’ve warned you” you say after whiping your tears “Nooo it’s all good, I almost felt like crying too so I get it, you don’t look so bad anyway” he reassures you “Thanks” you smile at each other and then keep walking out of the screening room.

“Hey” you start after a couple of silent minutes, he looks up at you curiously “I’m like thinking, how did you get stood up? You don’t look like the type. You don’t even look like the dating type.” you say a little carefully, not knowing how he’ll react to this. He smirks, but lets his eyebrows shoot up, feigning offense. “Yeah? What ‘type’ do I look like then?” he ask knowingly “Like aa- a one night stand type?” you say quietly. “Oh yeah?” he asks amused “I DON’T MEAN THAT TO OFFEND YOU, I just don’t think you look like the type who likes relationships or someone any girl would reject” oh god. “I mean like you look so tough and like you don’t ask girls out more like they are begging to go out with you, even for one night“ SHUT THE FUCK UP GIRL. He laughs very amused and decides that (no matter how much he’s enjoying this) it’s time to put on end to your misery.

“Sweetheart, you’re doing it again” he says with a warm smile and a kind voice. After you’re torn from your ramble, you have trouble understanding what he means “What” you ask quietly, feeling small “You’re not gonna be able to breath if you keep talking like this” he says and kinda sounds protective, it’s hot wtf “Oh yeah, sorry” you say as you realised what he means and you feel your cheeks go warm “Don’t apologise, I was just so worried” he jokes “Okay no need to be dramatic here sir” you say now more light-heartedly and he laughs along. “So” you take a breath, much calmer now “would you answer my question?” you ask and he looks at you with fake confusion “And that waaas?” he asks with a playful smile that tells you he knows what he’s doing, so you punch him in the shoulder “Just answer” you say with a pointed look, but still playful.

“Alright so, let’s see, one; am I a fuckboy who doesn’t do dating? If that’s what you were aming for. Yes, sort-of, I’m not a self-claimed fuckboy” they never are “i actually kinda hate that term, it’s cringy, but yeah my friends would probably call me that” he answers “Two; I do get a lot of girls, this one I’m guessing got told something that was probably fair, that’s why she didn’t show, did hurt though because as I said I’m not really used to that, that’s what I get for once asking someone out I guess, universe teaching me a lesson or some shit.” you nod along with what he said

“Although, she was rather excited when I asked her out, hopefully she didn’t get kidnapped” he says with a straight face, looking into distance and you look at him in shock for a bit

But then he starts smiling and laughing “I’m just messing with ya it’s okay” and then you laugh too. This was nice, you didn’t think it would be.

Sadly you have been standing in the lobby of the cinema for a couple of minutes, so you feel the inevitable but still painful end to this night.

“Well thanks for the food” you say “S’ no problem” he smiles back “I had fun tonight” he says “Well I’m happy I could take your mind off of the girl” you say offering a warm smile, but Harry’s expression changes to furrowed brows “Don’t talk about her” he says firmly “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hit a nerve or-“ you immediately backtrack “No, it’s not that it’s just, let’s not talk about her anymore, I had fun with you, you were the one I liked spending time with, I’m gonna be thinking about you for the next week, not someone else.” he says passionately.

“Oh well” you are quite surprised by that “i had fun with you too.” “I mean we did watch a movie so I’m sure that helped you too, but you know-“ he doesn’t get why you can’t understand he liked spending time with you, how you keep blaming it on someone else “Darling, it was because of you not the movie” he smiles looking into your soul. You are a bit flustered, don’t know what to say “I’d really like to see you again, if you don’t mind” he says with a waiting expression “and if you won’t stand me up too” he quickly adds “i fear my poor heart couldn’t handle that” he jokes with you putting his hand on his heart before turning his full attention to waiting for your answer

“Um yeah, I think it’d be great” you smile a little “And I wouldn’t do that, I’d text you at least” you tease a little and he smirks

“But-“ you start, becoming your trust issued, sensible, non love-sick self again. You hold up a finger pointing at him “you are not just saying this to get me to wanna fuck you” you warn him with narroved eyes “Because i’ll save you the trouble on that, I don’t do that, so you rather decide now” you say firmly standing your ground

He leans back a little intimidated “No, absolutely not,” he starts all serious and you can’t tell if he’s joking “i swear that’s not my intention at all. I mean I’m sure down the line if that’s what has to happen or I mean, you know I-“ he stumbles like an idiot. Again, it’s nice seeing him flustered too. “Okay Harry,” you start like a knowing mom, “give me your number, and I’ll decide if I wanna text you or not” you smile

“Alright” he’s surprised and flashes an amused smile at your boldness “here it is, Y/N” You type in his number and you’re about to say goodbye when-

“Do you wanna do something else? Get a drink or something?” he asks “No I’m kinda full” you laugh lightly “and I also have to catch my train so, I’m gonna go” you say

“Your train?” He asks “Yeah” you confirm. “I don’t live here, couple cities over actually” you say “Oh” he goes, like he’s really suprised and kinda? disappointed? “Soo, can I walk you to the station?” so you walk, and it’s actually quite nice, talking about yourself, him, your friends, his family, your interests, his major in college, his job. The sun is setting as you’re walking. You arrive at the station and he asks if he should wait for your train with you “No reason to, it’s gonna come in a couple of minutes, I’m fine from here” you smile like you’re ending the conversation “Well, then…bye” he says “Bye” as you smile he goes in for a hug but waits a little to see if you want to, you hug for what feels like a while but it probably was like 15 seconds and then you wave and leave. He turns around too and thinks about you on his way home, and when he gets home, and when he goes to sleep, and when he wakes up because he had just dreamt about you. And you do the same.

Maybe you have some weird thing with the universe after all, maybe your karma does even out.

[taylorisiert]

How did we NOT notice the capitalised BEGIN at least?! So as I already said, my theory post got edited and I think it'll be a mixture of both country and pop because:

1) She wrote "Take me home" in the caption of the pic she posted on July 13th (which has a stamp btw but I already posted about it so check it out if you want)

2) The TS7 palm's in the middle of country and pop. It's NEWER and BIGGER but it's definitely not one of these sides specifically

Guys she's taking herself home with this album because she'll do country again. She's finally happily in love (so many hearts) and I guess she has the best memories "at home" (many hearts again). And while I remember crying over the fact that Taylor said the old Taylor was dead when I listened to LWYMMD for the first time, I am SO grateful she's found herself and is able to get back home now 💖💕

@taylorswift @taylornation

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📷1: @the_oldtayloris_dead (insta)

📷2: @taylorswift (obviously)

📷3: @reptouroutfits (insta)