#best content ive seen in a while!!!!!!!!!

[this-isapen]

Hi i love your writting.

Ive been dying for some drama with lots of make up sex if is ok with you. (Hozierx reader that is a member of the band or somenthing like that* thank you so much)

Thank you so much! <3 I really liked this idea, so I hope it's up to your expectations!! (though i will say i don't write sex scenes very often, so apologies if it isn't my best work).

My Fault

Pairing: hozier x fem reader

Warnings: slight angst and drama, mild (+ first attempt) smut

Description: You're having a bad day that culminates in arguing with Andrew, things not meant being said in the heat of the moment. But tensions have to ease eventually, one way or another.

Word count: 3, 479

titled after 'my fault' by zeph

fic under the cut :)

I stare at him from across the table, watching as he laughs loudly at some joke I didn’t catch. He meets my eye momentarily, and I recognize it as his silent way of asking how I’m doing. Not great, admittedly, having snapped at him earlier over something stupid during soundcheck that I can barely remember. I shoot back a halfhearted smile, trying to wordlessly convince him not to worry about it. The last thing I want is that much attention in the midst of getting dinner with the rest of the band. I don’t like to make a big deal about stuff regardless, but especially not around other people. Thankfully, he seems to catch on and doesn’t make any further indications that would draw unnecessary attention from our friends. I don’t think I’d ever recover from making a scene like that. 

I keep to myself, perfectly content to just absorb the conversations around me without participating myself. I take to twirling my fork around my plate, playing with the remainder of my food in hopes of killing time until we head out. I’m not in a particularly social mood tonight, though if anyone other than him notices they don’t say anything. 

Quietly excusing myself from the table, I slip out and head to the bathroom. It thankfully appears to be empty, and I feel myself release a breath as I try to expel the tension from my body. A quick look in the mirror above the sink reveals that I’m noticeably tired. This might be harder to keep under wraps than I thought. 

“Get it together,” I mutter under my breath as I run my hands through my hair. I wash my hands to feel like I’ve at least done something while wasting time in here, inevitably wiping my hands on my jeans when the air dryer doesn’t do much. I take a final deep breath, using up every ounce of willpower to go back out there. 

I’m startled to see Andrew standing by the bathroom entryway when I emerge, but try to walk quickly before he notices me. Unfortunately, my plan fails and he catches my wrist gently in his grasp. 

“Oh, hey.” I glance up at him with a tight-lipped smile, trying to play this off as though I hadn’t seen him.  

His brow furrows as he looks at me. “Darlin’? Everything alright?” 

I brush him off with a mildly exasperated “I’m fine,” before turning to head back towards the table again. 

“You sure? You seem... off.” He keeps his voice at a volume just barely above a whisper, the way he speaks when he’s worried. 

“Yeah, just tired,” I assure him, silently praying for him to just drop it. 

He lets me go, following me back to where the rest of the band is chatting. I easily insert myself into the flow of conversation around me, though whether it’s compensating for the risk of my distance being uncovered or an attempt to prove something to Andrew, I don’t know. 

Eventually, we’re on the sidewalk heading back in the direction of the hotel that’s a short walk away. Andrew reaches for my hand like he usually does, but I pull away quickly, refusing to meet his eye in fear that his face will be written with as much hurt as I imagine it will be. Neither of us says a word to the other for the rest of the trek, which is fine by me. Talking feels too difficult right now, like it will take up the remainder of my already depleted energy.  

I barely remember walking in the door, let alone getting to our shared room.  

The door is barely locked behind us when Andrew speaks again. “What the hell is going on with you?” 

His question stings more than I expect it to, the harshness of the words feeling like shattered glass pricking my heart. I don’t know, Andrew. Everything. Nothing at all. Too much to even begin to explain. 

“Nothing,” my mouth feels too dry as I respond, anxiety eating up the words I truly wanted to say. 

“Baby,” he sighs, and his obvious frustration only irritates me further. What right did he have to be annoyed? Why couldn’t he just leave this alone? “You’ve been acting weird all day; something’s up.” 

“I’m not acting weird!” my voice comes out whinier than I mean it to, causing me to cringe. I feel like a hormonal teenager arguing with her mother, the way I shut down. 

“Yeah, because you usually spend the day avoiding me and ignore me all throughout dinner,” he scoffs. “If something is bothering you, you can tell me. Hell, you can tell me to fuck off and leave you alone, but can you please just give me something to work with other than one-word responses?!” He’s getting upset now, and I feel a familiar sensation brewing in my chest – stress, anger, guilt. 

 “I’m fine, Andrew!” I snap suddenly, regretting it as soon as the words leave my lips. “I told you, I’m tired. It’s been a long day.” It wasn’t really a lie; it had been a busy day today, but that was more of an aggravating factor than a cause, and he knew me well enough to see right through me. 

“Darling, please. I just want to help.” 

“And why do you assume I need your help?!” I can’t seem to stop myself from getting snippy with him, but I just don’t want to talk about this right now. Whatever this even was. 

“Right,” he frowns, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Sorry for caring about you. Sorry for trying to have a mature conversation like fucking adults.” 

His last comment sends me over the edge; I can’t stand someone insinuating I’m immature. That one strikes me to very core. 

“Oh, so I’m not an adult capable of holding a conversation?” I shoot back, glaring at him as the threat of tears stings my eyes. The room feels smaller somehow, too cramped. I need to get out of here before it suffocates me. 

“That is not what I’m saying and you know it.” 

“Then what are you saying?” I question. “Actually, forget it. I’m leaving.” 

I rifle through my bag as quickly as I can until I find my hoodie, pulling it over my head as I make my way to the door. 

“Where are you going?” I can’t tell if he’s angry or concerned. 

“For a walk.” 

“Wait, please. Just talk to me.” 

“Andrew, please. Just leave me alone.” I emphasize, managing to slip out of the room, once again barely registering my route until I find myself outside again. 

It occurs to me I don’t know where I’m going, but I inevitably just pick a direction and start walking, the cool night air a blessing to my skin. I don’t really care where I end up, I just couldn’t stand to be in that room with him another second longer. 

*A* 

I groan, tossing my phone on the bed after approximately my fifth call to her that only resulted in me getting her voicemail. I was a total asshole, and I only want to apologize for acting like I did. It came from a place of love, but the last thing I said was a low blow and she didn’t deserve that. I just don’t understand why she won’t talk to me when clearly there’s something bothering her. Something I’m guessing I’m the cause of based on how she’s acted towards me all day. 

I rack my brain for anything I might’ve said or done to upset her, but can’t seem to recall anything of note. Had I been too distant with her? That doesn’t seem to be it. If only I knew what it was, maybe I could fix this. But then again, there’s only so much I can do when she refuses to tell me what the problem is. 

It’s not like I don’t understand it, though. I can be pretty stubborn about these things too, so I get that it might not be fair of me to judge her for the same way that I’ve acted on countless occasions. Still, I only want to help. 

Time passes painfully slowly, but I find myself spending all of it anxiously checking my phone for any potential messages from her. Eventually, I doze off, waking up to find my phone still clutched in my hand. It’s nearly four in the morning by now, and still no sign of her. Not a single call or text, no indication that she’s in the room. When she still doesn’t pick up my call, worry begins to take hold of me. 

We’d gotten back around what, eleven o’clock, maybe midnight? Either way she’s been out far too long for my liking. She should have come back hours ago; where was she? 

Unable to sleep now that I realize how long it’s been, I take to padding down the hall knocking on the band’s doors to see if anyone has heard anything. Alex isn’t much (or any) help, and I feel bad for waking him at this time of night. It hadn’t occurred to me in my anxious state that I’d be disturbing their sleep by doing this, and I make a mental note to buy everyone coffee in the morning.  

The rest of the band proves to be much of the same – exhausted people who don’t know much and aren’t too thrilled to have their boss come knocking on the door in the middle of the night. The last room I try is Kamilah’s, who unfortunately also hasn’t seen or heard from her since dinner, but offers me assurance that everything is likely fine. I hope she’s right. 

Sighing, I return to my room and pull my shoes on. I wouldn’t - couldn’t- rest until I at least knew where she was, that she was safe. And right now, it seems the only way to do that is to go looking for her myself. I don’t care if it takes me all night; I just need to know that she’s okay. 

* 

I finally tear my eyes away from the dark reflection of the lake, unsure of how long I’d been standing there. I’d purposely been ignoring my phone since I left, knowing that checking it would only serve to stress me out more.  

It was clearly late, but it’s not until I give in and check the time that I notice just how long I’ve been out here. Granted, I don’t know what time I got here, but it had been a couple hours at least since I started walking. The fresh air had helped, though the realization that I was alone outside in the middle of the night was beginning to unsettle me as I try to navigate back to the hotel. At least the city was well lit. 

I feel on edge walking down the street, hyper aware of my surroundings until I finally see the overhang bearing the hotel’s name. Relief washes over me as I slip inside, tiredly making my way to the elevator. Hopefully Andrew would be asleep by now because I don’t feel like resuming our argument right now. I’m barely in the mood to talk, let alone fight. 

As I open the door, I see him pacing by the window on the far side of the room, turning immediately towards me. Well, there goes that hope. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” he asks, his voice thick with emotion. “I was about two seconds away from filing a report,” he mutters softly. Had he been crying? His eyes looked a bit red. 

I don’t know how to respond, caught off guard by his admission. This is not at all the situation I anticipated walking into. 

“I was worried sick,” he breathes, moving closer to me until he wraps me in a hug, holding me so tightly I wonder if he thinks I’ll disappear if he lets go. “I - are you okay? You’re not hurt?” 

I shake my head, burying my face in his chest. 

“Good,” he hums. “Do not fucking scare me like that.” 

“I -” I choke out. 

“You weren’t answering your phone; I – I went out looking but I couldn’t find you. I was afraid something happened to you.” 

“I’m sorry.” I hug him back just as fiercely, hoping that it underscores my apology more than any words ever could. He searched for me? “For everything.” 

“Me too,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have said what I did.” 

A few moments of silence pass between us while we cling to one another.  

“I just want you to talk to me.” 

“I know.” 

“You know I love you, right?” 

I nod against his chest, chuckling silently. “I know. I love you too.” Swallowing my pride, I add, “I don’t know why, but I think I was just in one of those moods where everything was pissing me off but I couldn’t figure out what was actually upsetting me.” 

“Love.” 

“I think being on the road has just started to take a lot out of me. I – I'm sorry for being such a bitch.” 

He chuckles softly, pulling back to look at me. “Darling, it’s alright. It’s just that these are the kinds of things I want you to tell me.” Before I can interject, he continues, “I’m sorry for prying.” The softness of his lips and the gentle scratch of his beard on my forehead calm me a bit, the tender familiarity grounding me.  

“I guess we’re both kind of assholes sometimes, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, kissing my lips. “We are.” 

A smirk paints his lips suddenly, and he catches my eye. 

“What?” 

“What do you say,” he hums, rubbing gentle circles into my hips with his thumbs, “I make this up to you?” He bites his lip shyly, waiting for me to give him some sort of indication.  

“Oh,” I giggle, feeling a heat rise to my cheeks at the implications. “You don’t have to.” 

“No pressure,” he murmurs, kissing the tip of my nose. “But I want to, if you want me to.” 

This conversation had taken an... unexpected turn, though I’d be lying if I said the thought of whatever he had in mind didn’t excite me. I meet his gaze, and have my answer. Who was I to say no to those gorgeous eyes that bore into my soul with such adoration? 

“Okay.” 

I smile upon seeing the massive grin spread across his face at my response. He kisses me again slowly, passionately, walking me back towards the bed.  

His fingers tug at the waistband of my jeans, a silent plea for permission as he looks at me once more. I nod, and he unbuttons them, pulling the material down my legs. Without a word, I pull my hoodie and shirt off together, giving him even less clothing to work with. His fingers trail lightly up and down the sides of my thighs and up to my hips, leaving me with goosebumps as a result. 

He kisses me, lips slowly trailing from my mouth to my jaw, neck, collarbone. A contented sigh escapes me with each new feeling. He continues to kiss his way down my body, lowering himself to reach the next section until he’s kneeling before me. 

 I take in the sight of him; he looked so fucking pretty like this. The only word I can think of describe his actions right now is reverence. I gently work my fingers through his hair, watching as he instinctually leans into the touch. I can feel my breath catch in my lungs as he kisses me through the fabric of my underwear. He tilts his head up slightly to meet my gaze, a wordless check that I want him to continue. I nod, and seconds later his fingers are hooked in the sides of the fabric, sliding them off my legs and tossing them aside next to my pants. 

“Gorgeous,” he mutters quietly, my face becoming a deeper shade of red in response. Slowly, he encourages me to sit on the edge of the bed, placing my legs over his shoulders with a final glance up at me. “Alright?” 

“You really don’t have to,” I murmur, instinctively resisting despite how much I can feel myself craving this.  

“Darling,” he hums, chuckling slightly. “I want to, truly. Please let me.” There was the slightest hint of desperation in his voice, but I knew that he would stop without argument if I just said the word. 

“Okay.” 

With that, he buries his face between my legs, targeting the spot I need him most. The pressure of his nose and the feeling of his tongue provide a delicious feeling I didn’t realize how badly I needed. Before I know it, my words are a jumble of pleas and curses mixed with his name as his mouth and fingers begin to work in tandem to bring me to the edge.  

“Andrew,” I gasp, gripping his hair in my fist, knowing that I’d soon reach my climax. 

“It’s alright baby, I’ve got you,” he hums against me, sending a shiver up my spine. “Just let me take care of you.” The utter worship with which he treated me was still taking some getting used to. 

“What about you?” 

“I’m doing just fine, darling. My focus is on you tonight,” he murmurs, his fingers continuing to curl inside of me while he talks. Fuck, he’d be the death of me.  

“Andy,” I whine. 

“Shh, I have you, baby. I’ve got you, just let go for me,” he encourages, his words nearly enough to send me over the edge. Moments later, my orgasm washes over me, Andrew looking quite pleased with himself as I catch my breath. “That’s it, good girl,” he hums. 

He rises from his knees, electing to sit on the bed next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, kissing my temple as he pulls me in. “Good?” 

“Great,” I laugh breathlessly in response. 

“Good.” 

“But,” I start, getting his attention. “I think I have some things to make up to you too.”  

“Yeah?” he chuckles. “Don’t feel obligated, love.” 

“I want to,” I assure him, finding it funny the way that we’ve managed to reach a complete role reversal. “You deserve to feel good too.” 

“Trust me, I felt plenty good pleasuring you.” 

I roll my eyes, playfully shoving him. I know he’s being serious, but he can still be so cheesy sometimes. “Shut up.” 

“Make me,” he chuckles, and I can only kiss him in reply. 

Suddenly, I’m pushing him back on the bed, our mouths and bodies colliding as we laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. Our hands are reaching for one another clumsily, happily. It’s nice to be with him like this after the day we’ve had.  

He eventually rolls us over so he’s on top of me and presses his lips gently to mine. I reach for the waistband of his sweatpants and pull them down, though he needs to kick them the rest of the way off.  

I smile at the sight of him in his boxers, blushing a bit despite this not being a new occurrence. He cups my cheek in his hand, kissing me once more before pulling back and sliding his underwear off. 

“You ready?” he asks, looking at me with a sense of adoration I still wasn’t sure if I’d ever get used to.  

I nod eagerly, letting him position himself between my legs comfortably. He presses into me slowly, allowing me time to adjust to the feeling of him inside me.  

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he compliments, the heat rising to my cheeks once more. “And God, I hope I never stop making you blush like this,” he adds, much more quietly, leaving me wondering whether he wanted me to hear that or not. 

He thrusts into me slowly, only gradually increasing his pace. Eventually, he brings my leg up, fucking me gently at this new angle. My hips meet his, and the fingers on his free hand entwine with mine. The sheer gentleness of our movements together almost brings a tear to my eye. 

I watch him as he loses himself in the feeling, his eyelids shutting contentedly as he eventually tips over his own edge.  

“I love you so much,” he mumbles softly, kissing my forehead. 

“Love you too,” I giggle. 

After a few minutes, he pulls out of me and pads into the bathroom, returning with a washcloth a couple moments later. My eyes start to flutter shut as he cleans me up, the emotional and physical exhaustion both finally catching up with me. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is him wrapping his arms around me and pulling up the covers.  

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[yesloulou]

QUEEN YOU DROPPED YOUR CROWN 👑

[simplydnp]

char, you're so so strong and i'm proud of you <3 i'm glad dnp and the community can be a source of strength and joy for you and i hope all your problems can get solved soon cause i feel like you're such a genuine and lovely person

aww katie thank you 🥺 i'm doing my best--some days i've only got 30% in me, other days are better. i'm trying to be kind to myself during this time, and one of the best ways, i find, to do that is to share joy. let myself feel excitement and happiness, send that message, buy that thing (within reason, as i'm currently at a place i am able to do so)--and do my best to be present with those around me (especially the ones who do the same for me). we've got a special community here and i'm grateful every day that there are lovely people for me to get to interact with all the time. it's truly an honour and a privilege, and i don't take it for granted 💞

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[marknee]

bts fanfics i think shakespeare would enlist himself into the military just to show the boys.

chapter iv. ✷ chapter vi.

KEYS ON SEVERITY OF SHAKESPEARE’S STATE:

( ✮ ) — he’s not really thinking about enlisting, is he?

( ♬ ) — what do you mean shakespeare shaved his head?.. oh no.

( ✎ ) — don’t military bases have security? how the hell did that man get inside?

( ♛ ) — he’s proper pulling a cross country right now. the boys look confused. and horrified.

THE SHAKESPEARE SERIES.

WARNING: keep in mind, some of these authors are very strict on the rule that no minors should read their work if they’re underage, and i will honour that. but, at the end of the day, i am not your parent. so, there’s that. but heed my warning wisely. any smut or 18+ content is highlighted in bold.

NOTE: dear readers, did you miss me? it’s been a while since i’ve shared my secret recommendations with you. but, since the two year anniversary of this special series has recently passed, i thought it was about time i spoiled you again. i’ve had quite a while to think about this one. so, i hope you’re ready. let’s give shakespeare something to enlist for.

( ♛ ) AMALTHEA — by @daechwitatamic

!! seokjin x reader | 40k !!

best friend’s older brother!au, smut (18+), fluff, angst.

bfb! bfb! my best friend’s brother, my friend’s brother! bfb! bfb! my best friend’s brother, my best friend’s brother!

this is one of the BEST seokjin fics i’ve ever read. straight to the point but there is no other way to put it. got to the point i would wake up earlier just to read another chapter before work. i was always present, bitch.

alike most of you, as someone who reads A LOT (re: i have no credentials for this, just my mum), i can tell when someone pours their every blood, sweat and tears (ha.) into writing. and for me, this is one of those writers.

this writer really shocked me at how much i connected to this story whilst reading n how attached i felt after finishing. caught me off guard, but so did death to shakespeare… sooo, what can i say.

“it’s been over a decade since that night, and you still don't know if he meant his family, or you.” dude i wish you could’ve seen my face. lmfao.

let’s just say there’s a reason this one’s first. amazed. truly.

( ♛ ) MOON MAGIC — by @jincherie

!! hoseok x reader | 33.8k !!

mermaid!au, pirate!au, fluff (like.. teeth rotting).

“and he calls me mooonlight toooooo,” she sings into the empty crowd with tears in her eyes. she meaning me.

now i know i’m known for having a sweet tooth, but damn! youse are gonna eventually turn me into an elizabethan england commoner. y’know, the crap dental hygiene n all. (re: shakespeare’s teeth.)

but, you know me. i looooove a good ‘ol fantasy inspired fic, so i guess i’m willing to risk a little here. and this one was worth risking for.

slams hand onto the table. the world building! this writer was not playing around when it came to painting us a picture of the world they wanted to create. i wanna live in this fic i’m not joking. get me in touch with namjoon asap for some of that moon magic shit. ok, rolls credits.

perfect in every single way. this is my first run-in with this writer, but am i swimming (sorry.) my way over to their masterlist? yeeees.

“he laughs and tells you that, actually, it's probably the youngest three princes that are most beloved by all.”

yea girl. not on my watch. enjoy!

( ✎ ) ALL GROWN UP — by @btsgotjams27

!! jungkook x reader | 64k !!

friends to lovers, older woman/younger man, smut (18+).

the fact this fic was loosely inspired by one of my all-time comfort kdramas… i didn’t even have to question adding it to my list. it felt like i was watching it for the first time again… deeply sighs. ahhh the nostalgia…

i had this fic bookmarked on my ao3 for the looongest time, but it was only recently that i got round to actually reading it. and i’m so glad i did. bless her, she was waiting for her moment to shine. and it’s now.

youngest kids in the family please raise your hands! all in attendance! you are welcome and appreciated here. the feeling of desperation, trying to get people to see you as your current age rather than the little kid they’ll forever remember. i think that’s why i loved this fic so much: i could relate to it.

alike this story, most fics on here are on the older side of things. but honestly, if it’s good and genuine, it’ll last forever. no matter how much time has gone by. feelings stay - perhaps even grow?

the same for our adorable pair over here. could time play in their favour?

you let me know when you finish it.

( ✮ ) ALIVE AHA FXCK — by @softyoongiionly

!! vampire!yoongi x human!reader | 42k !!

vampire!au, smut (18+), soulmate!au (you know i had to), please read the trigger warnings.

devoured. no pun intended. though other vampire synonyms include but are not limited to: consumed, ate, guzzled, feasted etc… thank you google, after a few questionable internet searches.

i cannot tell you how glad i am that shakespeare never wrote about vampires. cuz he would’ve written my ass into that damn thing and killed me off from the things i’ve said about that guy. and the things i will continue to say…

i love this fic on a personal level. it reminds me of being fourteen again, curled up in my sheets as the sun reaches the tip of my windowsill and the morning chill settles in after a night of fighting sleep to finish a fanfic. it’s safe - i’m safe.

i genuinely had so much fun reading this story. the characterisation of both the reader and yoongi is so unhinged and playful and i’m obsessed. if i could recommend it to anyone, it would be my younger self cuz i know she’d love it :,). n she did!

y’know, sometimes you just gotta read a silly - infused with twilight puns - vampire-themed yoongi fic for the world to feel alright again.

and it did - for me. n now - for you.

( ♛ ) OLDER — by @lovieku

!! dilf!jk x inexperienced!reader | 18.2k !!

smut (18+), dilf!au, best friend’s father, age gap.

pure, undeniable and utter filth. in the best fuckin’ way possible. yea, if you could crawl into my mind, plunge into the inky depths of whatever lurks there.. this is what you’d find lying on the sand floor. unadulterated sin.

i am so disgustingly obsessed with this fic i can’t explain it, hence why it’s ended up on my shelf of recommendations. it scratches and pleases a deep, desperate itch in my brain. maybe it’s the age gap, who knows?

this writer has a talent for making us - or, me. - claw at something forbidden in an almost hungry advance. the sinner doing the sinning. and goddamn, i’m impressed. n i bet shakespeare is too. well, he fuckin’ better be.

the characters are imperfect and selfish and lustful, but oh my god i love them. add on dilf!jk with his slutty, unbuttoned shirts and you have me sold.

@lovieku you are such an amazing writer. you have such a way with how you express. do not underestimate that. i am beyond excited to see your future works :)

masterpiece. but what the fuck was that ending.

( ♛ ) HABITS OF A CLANDESTINE NATURE — by @alphabetboyluvr

!! college!jk x female!oc | 16k !!

rich!jk, waitress!oc, enemies to lovers, smut (18+).

he got, he got away! he got away! he got away! he’s got a way, he’s got a way! awayyyyheyeyyyyheyyy! yea, but didn’t manage to escape a 460-year-old poet, nor me.. so..

clementines, fruit trees, the sound of innocent laughter, wind chimes, a sheer blur of colour, soft hands. things that come to mind whenever i am reminded of this fic. a solid and beautiful depiction of hurt and love and everything in between.

this writer knew straight off the bat how to sell this pair to the audience. how to capture us and string us along for the journey of two hurting, longing and hurting all over again. shakespeare bought the hanging fruit that’s for damn sure… me too then, perhaps.

the vision for this story is perfect to me. i almost want to give the writer a kiss on the forehead.

i did write down one quote; used from the story. a way to sum it all up. “the perfect place to get lost. the perfect place to get found, too.”

if you’re looking for somewhere to get lost, i hope this satisfies that need. i also hope i come back to read this every once in a while. for old times sake. to get found again.

( ♬ ) GUILTY AS SIN — by @gldrushh

!! brother in law!jungkook x widow!reader | 32k !!

forbidden love!au, smut (18+), angst.

“it began to lose its meaning. healing. as if it were something—a destination you could stumble upon.” oh, don’t even talk to me. people died. shakepeare died. april 23rd 1616.

god, this story is just so raw in and of itself - perfectly depicting the human experience of love and loss. inevitable and sometimes unexpected. i was - n still remain - in awe.

i crossed by this fic unexpectedly and i’m so glad that whatever butterfly effect led me to finding this succeeded, but damn that action also had consequences… like real bad… haha….

i want to cry every time this fic crosses my mind. dramatic? lil bit. but when you read it, holy shit - this will make sense to you young’uns. in due time.

well, to be even more dramatic as such… my wounds from reading this are still fresh (i will sob don’t test me), so i hand the torch over to you to make of this story what you will.

please go into this fic with no expectations. go in willingly and just… fall into it. i will be on the other side when you resurface and i will definitely say something ironic.

like i told you so. xx.

( ♛ ) CALLING PRODUCER MIN YOONGI — by @bangtan-dreamland

!! yoongi x reader | 4.6k !!

strangers to lovers, just fluff all around.

now this is the bitch i aspire to be. dials random ass numbers of random ass strangers just to yap. oh yea, that’s my kinda girl. i just hope she knows she’s the coolest person ever to exist to me. i want to buy a star for her. a big, bright one.

i think i have said this before, but never ever underestimate the power of a drabble. a short fic of little can hold the weight of ten times that amount. especially this one (which i read that long ago but has ultimately ended up here - says it all tbh).

this fic is everything and more to me. i miss it when i’m not reading it, and i miss it when it’s right in front of me. it has me wanting to ring up random people in hopes of meeting my true love - which i won’t, but who knows what might happen?

also, to point out - the immense chemistry between these characters is off the charts. felt like i was intruding on my own phone call.

good dialogue? tick. amazing characterisation? tick. interesting plot? tick. has shakespeare wanting to never learn how to use a phone in case he puts this fic to shame? tick.

lol.

( ✎ ) THE LOVE PROGNOSIS — by @awrkive

!! surgeon!jk x surgeon!reader | 90.9k !!

roommates!au, medical!au, smut (18+), fluff.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. aaaand scene!

can i be honest? y’all stress me the fuck out! and you know who you are! starts with ‘j’ ends with ‘k’. the other one being ‘s’ ends with ‘e’. but one of you i like more and it’s not you, shakespeare.

the time it took me to finish this insanely crafted three-parter was embarrassingly short. (i think i formed a dent in my bed). so when i finished i was - obviously - heartbroken, so i did what every sane person does. i read all the drabbles. aaaand the tlp social media extras. and listened to the playlist. and cried. duh.

whilst all the fics on here deserve their own kdrama, i feel this one would ruin me completely. it’s weightlifting fairy kim bok joo all over again. it’s potential is there. like, c’mon screenwriters. i know you want to. or just pay me to do it.

the characters, the yearning, the friendship - immediately gets flashbacks… - ten’s across the board!

@awrkive is one to look out for. for real. i - along with everyone else here - will be tuning in. full volume.

oh yea, whilst we’re all still here. fuck that other guy. you know who you are! (no spoilers here).

( ♛ ) LET’S GET QUIZZICAL — by @taleasnewastime

!! jimin x f!reader | 28.6k !!

friends to lovers, angst, smut (18+).

sooooo… what i’m hearing is.. we all weren’t aware flo rida’s stage name is just florida with a space..? right? right.? cuz when you say it like that..

having been a victim of multiple pub quizzes in my past (haven’t won - yet!) the dialogue in this story was fucking perfect and scary real, depicting the anxiety, thrill and pure adrenaline running through your body as you rack your brain of every dumb fact you’ve ever read and hope it’s made a home somewhere up there.

not to mention you gotta trust your teammates like your life depends on it - cuz it fuckin’ does. n park jimin being one of them? the rest of the teams… y’all better not even bother showing up atp.

i thought the manor of the story being told through its settings was.. a slice of genius. so so cool and helped set the tone too. every time we transported back to the quiz i clutched my pearls in sheer relief.

also, i wish i could’ve highlighted angst in bold cause damn! you really hit us round the head with that one. and ofc i loved it, but damn. take notes, shakespeare. we don’t have to be killing characters off to ruin mk’s life. hm?

nothing less than spectacular from our @taleasnewastime.

( ♬ ) TRICKS OF THE TRADE — by @stutterfly

!! yoongi x reader | 24.1k !!

body swap!au, soulmates!au (you know me), smut (18+), humour.

peers down through speckled glasses, what’s next..? …oh god. sighs heavily and licks pen.

so i knew from the moment i read ‘body swap’ within the tags that this concept was gonna be so fuckin’ weird but so damn good. and low n behold, it didn’t disappoint. luckily i am a lover of fuckin’ weird.

this concept is so difficult to write. the foreign sensation of a different body and trying to channel each thought n emotions involved is complicated to convey, but this author did it so incredibly well.

also, not to be that person… but that smut… i’m gon’ be sleeping soooo well tonight let’s just say that lmfao. 100/10. might go back n read it when i’m done with this.

blushing… X

shakespeare couldn’t even fathom a story such as this - and we’re talking about the guy who once wrote about an incestuous relationship between a king and his daughter.

crazy work. you are so cool @stutterfly.

( ✎ ) TRIVIA LOVE — by @luxekook

!! namjoon x reader | 5.4k !!

non idol!au, smut (18+).

to quote myself from my reblog on feb 26 2020, “why was i smiling the whole way throughout this??” n you know what? hell yea i still stand by that!

this is the second pub quiz fic i have within this chapter (surprisingly, but not disappointing), but the circumstances cannot be more different.

the first group i would join, perhaps even rally with a little. but if i’m ever attending a pub night and these mother fuckers are in tow, best believe i’m leaving. they’re not ones to fuck with yo. they have $20 to win. they mean war.

since we’re at the end, and i’m 100% convinced nobody is still reading these, soooo… i can speak my truth. someone get me on joon’s lap. you gon’ be calling me cinderella cuz it’s gonna fit perfectly by midnight bro. on the dot.

this is - n will always be - a classic to me. one that i will always return to eventually. i can dress up all i want with these big fics, but these smaller ones are always a guilty pleasure.

like cinderella returning to her mice friends (or whatever), i will always come back to @luxekook and their stories.

forever xoxo.

MARKNEE’S SPECIAL MENTIONS:

caught my attention, and deserve their flowers.

( ♬ ) THE DEVIL SKATES ON THIN ICE — by @vankoya

!! yoongi x reader | 60.5k !!

winter sports!au, fluff, angst, humour.

my love life also skates on thin ice. lmfao. especially after this.

( ✎ ) KNOCKED — by @sailoryooons

!! streamer!seokjin x f!reader | 10.6k !!

roommates to lovers, smut (18+), humour.

more like she’s about to knock him out.

( ♬ ) NEFARIOUS — by @yoonia

!! jimin x f!reader | 39.2k !!

sex club!au, gentlemen club!au, smut (18+).

lets out a long sigh. won’t be in a rush to forget this one.

( ✎ ) THINGS WE DON’T SAY — by @wintaerbaer

!! taehyung x reader | 54.5k !!

best friends to lovers, slow burn, eventual smut.

the found family trope is strooong.

© marknee, 2025. all rights reserved.

[whorelaud]

OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (02)

social media & irl AU !

pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content sexual jokes, rafe being a tease !

NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 01 ¡ 02 ¡ 03

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecameron and 1,129 others

yourusername me and gf on a mermaids date  🧜‍♀️ 

view all comments

sarahcameron GF 🙈🙈🙈 most beautiful girl ive ever seen ↳ yourusername BABYYY ily

sarahcameron do you want to be my wife ↳ johnroutledge Uhm ↳ yourusername leave little boy she doesnt want you 🧏‍♀️

sarahcameron cant believe we met its been SO long ↳ yourusername still in shock could you kiss me to make sure this is real?  ↳ sarahcameron come to mama 💋 

ryanontop God your ugly ↳ yourusername you’re*… spell right you illiterate fuck ↳ ryanontop Fuck off it was a typo ↳ yourusername you know damn well!!!!

cleoanderson WAIT WHAT

kiecarrera ??? HUH

kiecarrera IM SO CONFUSED ↳ cleoanderson ME TOO ☹️ ↳ sarahcameron hey 👋  ↳ cleoanderson girl you both got some explaining to do ↳ yourusername trust me i was as shocked as you are 😓

popeheyward Insane ↳ yourusername PIPE down fella (get it ahahaha) ↳ popeheyward That wasn't funny ↳ cleoanderson be nice to my girl >:( ↳ popeheyward Baby you're supposed to defend me ↳ yourusername YEAHHH CLOCK THAT HO

jjmaybanks whats for supper  ↳ yourusername saltwater

user1 PRETTY!!!! 

user2 so lovely 🥹

user3 DRESS ATE DOWN ↳ yourusername YEAHH tryna impress the hoes ↳ ryanontop Crickets ↳ sarahcameron not cool Ryan. ↳ ryanontop Sorry Sarah Cameron.

rafecameron Hey 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 ↳ yourusername uhhh uhmm  ↳ rafecameron ??? What ↳ sarahcameron what are you doing here ↳ yourusername yeah get out of my comment section ↳ rafecameron I’m not even doing anything 

rafecameron Sarah looks like a duck  ↳ yourusername shes my little duckling 🐥  ↳ rafecameron Oh I didn't mean that in a cute way ↳ sarahcameron hey >:( ↳ yourusername insult my gf one more time and ill fuck you UP ↳ rafecameron Oh?  ↳ ryanontop Uhh  ↳ rafecameron Yo wsg baby ↳ yourusername flirt somewhere else please dont start sexting in my comment section ↳ rafecameron Awe man :( but it's way more fun in public ↳ yourusername pardon me! there's children in my comments, please refrain from having sex here ↳ rafecameron You're the one talking about sexting, not me...

Involving yourself with Rafe Cameron, whom you later found out was good friends with your brother, was definitely not a part of your plan. 

Spending the next two months with him meant coming to terms with your actions, perhaps take responsibility for the mess you created out of this situation. Had you further dug into his information, paid attention to the last name splattered across your screen, you would not have ended up in the bathroom, contemplating whether going downstairs was a good idea. 

Avoiding him could be an option right now, but you knew you'd have to face him one day, whether it was today, or another. And while he stayed oblivious to the incident, you couldn’t help the embarrassment that flushed your face everytime his eyes would lock with yours.

You somehow spent the afternoon together, his lingering gazes leaving you a nervous mess every time his eyes fell on you. He’d stare at you for a few seconds, letting tension heave through the air, almost as if it was the most casual thing ever, as if he’s not your brother’s best friend, someone so off limits, forbidden to the touch. 

Besides that, it was nice, you got to spend more time with Sarah, catch up with the girl and everything you missed out on in the past few hours she was gone. It distracted you from your embarrassment, eternally grateful, because you don’t think you’ll be capable of spending another minute within Rafe’s presence without exploding. 

Taking a deep breath, you mustered up the courage to head downstairs, taking each step with haste. Sarah perked up when the hardwood creaked underneath you, causing you to come to a halt. Sarah called out your name, addressing you with the hand she waved in your direction, her excitement instantly replacing the frown spread across your face with a smile. 

“What took you so long?” Her lips jut into a pout, tucking her hair behind her ear. She welcomed you with open arms, chuckling when you accepted the embrace with a content hum “You know, I missed you.” 

“You were jus’ talking to me.” You muffled out, relaxing as the blonde rocked your bodies back and forth. 

“It’s not the same!” She exclaimed, pulling away for a moment. “It’s not everyday I get to see you in real life.” 

Ryan cleared his throat, in an attempt to earn yours and Sarah’s attention. To his satisfaction, he did, causing your gaze to shift back to the latter, instantly detecting the disgusted expression he had splattered across his face. 

“Can you save this for later, and please help me out?” Ryan questioned, making you roll your eyes. “You think I called you down so you could be all over each other?” 

“Shut up.” Sarah stuck out her tongue, teasing the latter from where she stood. 

You scrunched your nose, tensing when you sensed Rafe’s burning glare from the corner of your eyes. The boy’s glances were intense, almost as if he was staring at you for the purpose of undressing you with his gaze, and that, yeah, it never failed to knock a breath out of your chest, creating a flustered mess out of you. 

Sarah returned to her old position, standing behind the counter with you following in her steps, striving to see what they were up to. Your lips formed into an ‘o’ shape, peaking with interest when you noticed the deviled eggs Ryan was plating.

“That looks good,” you hummed, turning in Ryan’s direction, who conceitedly nodded, proud of the dish they had displayed on the counter. “Don’t people usually make these for thanksgiving, though?”

“That’s what I said!” Sarah agreed, giggling when Ryan grumbled, disapproving of your statement. 

“You’re acting like you’re not gonna eat them!” He elbowed your side, acknowledging you with his chin when you hissed, faking a pained expression. “Stop complaining and grab more plates, we need them for the mash potatoes.” 

“The only thing missing is the turkey, at this point.” You scoffed, mumbling to yourself, though Ryan could still hear you. “Where’s the plates?” 

“Uhh,” Sarah started, observing the cabinets behind you. She pointed to one of them with her finger, your eyes instantly following where her digit landed. “You can find some in there.”

With a nod, you shuffled to approach the stacked cabinets, aiming for the one Sarah was referring to. A groan instantly escaped your throat, gaze trailing up to the plates positioned on the top shelf. 

“Why on earth are these cabinets so high?” You whined, standing on your tippy toes to grab the dishes, merely to end up with nothing in your grasp. “And why are you putting plates on the top shelf?! None of you could reach them!” 

You extended your arm once again, stretching out your body in an attempt to seize the plates, losing your balance when you maintained the same position for a little too long, eventually failing to achieve what you were aiming for. 

Ryan mumbled a few words of complaints, rushing you to grab the plates faster, though he noticed that you were struggling, not offering to step in and help you. You paused for a second, calculating how you were going to capture the plates without asking for help, as that was a no in your watch. 

Right, you could use a chair, and although that was quite the embarrassment, it was the only option you had, even if it meant making a fool out of yourself. 

“Here, lemme try.” 

You tensed where you stood, breath hitching when Rafe shuffled behind you, his broad chest colliding against your back. Your vision blurred as you inhaled his scent, his musky cologne intoxicating your senses. 

Your gaze trailed up his arm, where it hovered over your shoulder, the brief contact sending goosebumps down your spine. And if you weren’t aware before, you definitely are now, enjoying the sight of him towering over you a little too much for your liking. 

The latter grunted as he reached for the plates, capturing them with a little difficulty. The sound instantly echoed through your ears, blinding you whole, that you had no right being this into it. Your mind wandered with thoughts you shouldn’t even ponder about, not as the boy was innocently stepping in to help, when your own brother couldn’t. 

“There you go.” Rafe muttered, voice barely above a whisper. He placed the plates on the counter in front of you, moving to catch sight of your reaction, chuckling when he noticed how flustered you were, mouth slightly parting with an exhale. “Did I startle you? Sorry, I was jus’ tryin’ to help.” 

“Right,” you said through a breath, blinking far too many times for your liking. “Thank you, I– that was really nice.” 

“Mhm.” He leaned his arm over the counter, admiring you with a knowing smile tugging at his lips. He stood still for a moment, almost as if he was seeking something out of you, perchance a reply, if that was even appropriate in this situation.

“What?” You asked, cluelessly staring back at him, fingers clutching the plates you had in hand. 

“Could you hurry up!” Ryan interrupted, causing you to jolt from where you stood, leaving Rafe hanging as you headed in your brother’s direction. “The food’s about to run cold.”

“You could’ve helped me grab them, dickhead.” You scoffed, failing to keep your eyes to yourself as you stole a glance in Rafe’s direction, breath catching in your throat when you spotted him yet staring at you, with the same mischievous smile he had from earlier. 

He’s only helping, you’re acting like this because it caught you off guard, right? Fuck, you were totally screwed, how were you supposed to act normal when Rafe was behaving like a gentleman, doing everything in his power to make you comfortable, whether it’s him helping you grab the plates, or him offering you a drink with the scorching hot sun. 

Either way, this was bad, for your mental being, and the boundaries you created for yourself. It’s only been a day, what will happen in the next few weeks you’re spending with him? You don’t know, but what you do know is that they’ll be hell, tortuous, even.

Sarah passed you the pot of mash, politely asking you to plate it, making it hard for you to refuse the request. You did as told, doing it as neatly as physically possible, with Ryan nagging over your head, telling you to be more cautious in the process. 

You managed to get what you were asked for done, with the boy pestering you nonstop throughout it, creating a frustrated mess out of you. Rafe offered a helping hand, arranging the plates on the table, for each person they were serving. 

The elders came through the front door, having been gone for most of the time they’ve been here, excusing themselves for what you assumed was a business meeting. You embraced your mom in a hug, presenting the food to her with your free arm, snickering when she squealed, taken aback by all the food displayed on the table. 

Dinner was chaotic, filled with chatter and giggles as everyone bonded over the food, getting to catch up with each other. Ward was quite the man, and while you did dislike him, witnessing all the times he was harsh to Sarah, you couldn’t dodge his curious questions, not when everyone surrounding you thought of you as angel who wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

You kept to yourself for most of the time, amused by Sarah and Ryan arguing over who cooked each dish, fighting to claim their credit. And as for Rafe, well, he was there, sitting besides Ryan, who was across from you.

“You’re oddly quiet, Bug.” Sarah suddenly started, talking over the elders, who were chatting about business. “Is everything okay?”

“Huh, yeah!” You nodded, flashing her an endearing smile, one Sarah contently returned. 

“It’s only ‘cause there’s people around,” Ryan clicked his teeth, having heard the conversation. “Trust, she’s such a brat, don’t encourage her to keep talking, otherwise, she’ll never shut up.” 

“Can you not?” You muffled through gritted teeth, kicking his foot from underneath the table. “Could you also move? You’re all up in my space.” 

“That’s uh,” Rafe choked out, taking a sip off of the glass of water splattered across his side of the table. “That’s my leg.” 

You froze your spot, eyes widening with shock when you peaked under the table, discerning that it was Rafe’s leg you were kicking, Ryan’s far back positioned inches away from his chair. Sarah mimicked your action, chuckling when she caught sight of the ridiculous sight, entertained by the situation. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You apologized, eyebrows furrowing with concern. “I thought you were Ryan.”

“It’s okay.” He dismisses, flashing you a gentle smile. “Sorry for ruining your uh– plans.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” Ryan jutted his lips into a pout, turning to glimpse at Rafe, whose face filled with concern. “You’re supposed to defend me. Why are you taking her side?” 

“Mhm,” Rafe hummed, going along with the bit. His fingers found the curve of Ryan’s jaw, cupping his face in a teasing manner. “Did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry, I’ll be more cautious next time. Do you want a kiss, sweetheart?” 

Ryan nodded, nuzzling into the latter’s hand, letting his eyes fall shut when Rafe leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to his forehead. The mere sight made you sick to your stomach, with Sarah just as cringed out as you were, grumbling with detest.

Looks like you had some competition. 

“Can you not?” Sarah huffed, “We’re eating.” 

“She doesn’t get it.” Ryan shook his head with disappointment, withdrawing from the touch. Rafe agreed by nodding, patting Ryan’s shoulder before he got back to eating, acting as if that was the normalest thing they’ve done over dinner. 

Fancy plating was all fun and games until you had to do the dishes, and with the little work you did tonight, it did not look good on your watch. Ryan excused himself out of the list, with Sarah following behind, informing you that they made dinner, meaning it was your turn to do the dishes. 

Which, truth be told was fair, you totally understood where they were coming from, because if that was you, you would’ve done the same thing. 

“I’ll help out.” Rafe joined in, the suggestion creating a nervous mess out of you. 

That’s how you ended up in front of the sink, watching as plates piled up with every dish Rafe brought, instantly joining your side after he tidied up the table, wiping it clean to ensure a disinfected setting. 

Your contained giggles seeped through the silence, observing as Rafe clumsily scrubbed a plate, stumbling as it almost slipped from his hands. A sigh of relief escaped his parted lips, tightening his hold around it before it could further slither through his fingers. 

“You don’t need to do it.” You uttered, catching Rafe’s attention, who turned to face you with a smug grin spread across his lips, oblivious to the teasing smile you flashed him.

“Why?” He curled one of his eyebrows with confusion, scrubbing the plate with all his might, though it was past its limit. “Do you not want my help?”

“It’s not that,” you playfully rolled your eyes, rinsing off the excess soap. “It just looks like you’re struggling.” 

“‘That so?” He shot back, mimicking your action, copying your each move to make sure he’s doing it right. 

“Mhm.” You mused, letting silence linger through the air, atmosphere heaving with tension. 

“You know,” Rafe started, eyes glued to his gloved hands. “You’re different over text.” 

You almost drop the plate in your hand, caught off guard by the latter’s statement. Rafe maintained a blank expression, continuing what he was doing while you tensed in your spot, too dumbfounded to move, or respond. 

“I–” you stammered, abandoning the dishes piled in the sink, and focusing your whole attention on Rafe. “Why are you bringing that up?” 

“Should I not?” He questioned, stealing a swift glance in your direction as he cocked his head to the side, intrigued by how the conversation was flowing. “I mean, you did text me this morning, am I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen?”

“You said it yourself,” you started, suddenly feeling your throat go dry. “Ryan’s my brother, it would be best if we didn’t discuss this.” 

“Why not?” He muttered, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not like we’re doin’ anythin’ weird, y’know? I mean, you did leave an impression on me.”

“impression?” You repeated, jeered by his words as your mouth moved faster than your brain. “Did you know we’d be meeting here?” 

“Well,” he replied, rinsing off the soapy dishes. “I can’t say I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, then?” You whispered, afraid others would overhear your conversation. “Had you told me, I wouldn’t have continued speaking to you. Do you know how awkward things are now that you’re here?” 

“Why?” Rafe hushed out, pausing for a second, before he turned to face you, now leveling his face with your own. “Am I making you nervous?” 

Your throat ran dry, taken aback by the question. Was he flirting with you? And if not, why did it have such a big effect on you? Tolling you with temptation in ways you knew were impossible, out of reach, even. 

“What?” You uttered through a breath, face flushing with heat. “No– no it’s just–”

“I’m just messing.” He snickered, amused by how flustered you grew, stuttering to mutter a coherent statement out. 

“That wasn’t funny.” You grumbled out, fluttering your eyes at the latter, visibly embarrassed by the reaction the boy received from you. 

“Right.” He chuckled, not sounding convinced at all. 

The next few minutes filled with tension, as you both fell quiet, letting silence heave the air. Rafe didn’t seem as affected as you were, maintaining a blank expression the whole time you were a mess, too embarrassed to be in the boy’s presence, who seemed oblivious to the uncomfortable atmosphere he had created. 

You instantly excused yourself to your room afterwards, telling the boy you were sleepy, though it was too early for bed. You needed a moment to yourself, even if it meant lying through your teeth.

Besides, you weren’t the only one who was gone, as Sarah was nowhere in sight, disappearing once you were done. She was probably talking to her boyfriend, hence you know how clingy they were with each other. 

You took a quick shower, freshening up before bed, immediately followed with your skin care routine, playing soft music in the background while you did so. You dressed yourself in comfortable pajamas, instantly slipping under your covers, letting the warmness engulf your body whole. 

Your eyes droswed with sleep, after a few hours of scrolling through your phone, not noticing the time, only acknowledging how late it was when you received a notification that earned your attention. Your breath almost hitched as you opened the DM, caught off guard by who it was from. 

It was Rafe.

a/n THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON THIS WTH!! i wasnt expectingt it ily mwahh!! & just a little fyi this story will have more irl parts, it wont be solely sm based as i alr have stated in the beginning! it will definitely have social media, but im not abandoning the irl part of it yk 😣 that being said, feel free to lmk if you want to be removed/added to the taglist :) (in order to stay on it, you need to interact with the posts)

TAGLIST @greyswaren @slut-4-gojo @depthsofdespairr @littlelamy @lilithblackkk @cnnamongrl @mattyskies @percysley @jaklvbub @inlovewithdob @ilovefiction4lmen @theeternaloptimistt @maybejj @icaqttt @idgasb @purplerose291 @shincidios @laniirackssss @malibuhearts @adulterated-cocaine @bugg06 @murdockcastleslut @drwstarkeys @pretymads @klmaaaoooo @wearemadeofstardust0 @urbrunettebombshell @stylestarkey @riverxsq @louxmcl @totalswag @cl4uus @simpforboys @tearsfromasliverwolf-blog @bilssturns @fandomhopped @strsdoulikedem @congratsloserr @dr3wstarkey @xoxo-ada @stvrligghtt @rafeswhoooreee @kythefangirl25 @chaneydoll @blushmimi @akobx @empath-bunny @flirtism @stopnala @rafecameronswifeyy

[shra-vasti]

BE THERE FOR YOU, PSH

SYNOPSIS : You love your two best friends with your whole heart. The three of you have been inseparable since middle school, bound by laughter, secrets, and a promise to always stand by each other through thick and thin. So why does a strange, bitter feeling rises in your stomach every time they laugh a little too loudly together, their eyes meeting in ways that make you feel like the outsider? You try to shake it off. It's nothing. Right?

Or in which you're stuck in a love triangle with your two best friends.

• PAIRING: Park Sunghoon x afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 18.4k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university setting, angst, hurt/comfort, friends to ?, love triangle, slow burn (kdrama level slow, sorry I got carried away), slice of life, feeling isolated, mental illness (refer warnings section), emotional baggage, unrequited love, found family, miscommunication, alcohol, mentions of thunderstorms, Original character named Soojin, reader-insert, reader's hair are long enough to be tucked behind ears, Sunghoon is taller comparatively.

• WARNINGS: HEAVY angst, feeling isolated and ignored, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, self doubt, fear of failure, unhealthy habits, ED, emotional drainage, existential crisis, hospitalization (not reader), IV drops, depiction of blood on reader and Sunghoon, reader gets injured, attempted suicide x 2, depiction of character's death and funeral, unrequited love, hurt more than comfort, spiraling, Sunghoon gets wasted, no smut, slightly suggestive, let me know if I missed any.

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first full length fic, please leave feedback. I'm trying to get out of my years long writer's block. Like, reblog and comment would be appreciated. It feels nice to get back to writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading it♡ Happy reading♡

The cold winter wind nipped at your skin, you clutch your hands together. Your eyes drifted across the campus, a scowl surfacing on your face. You were waiting for Sunghoon and Soojin to meet at your usual hangout place in the campus, the common sitting area outside of the university's far right building. Few of the students occupied the area, some completing their works, others hanging around with their friend group.

Jake snickered from where he was sitting in front of you, pushing up his god-awful glasses with his one hand while he sipped his "deathpresso"- the infamous 7-shot espresso, as you liked to call it. You shot him a glare, leaning your back on the bench as Jay wrapped his hand around your shoulder, bringing your body closer to his, you obliged ofcourse, seeking solace in the warmth his body provided. Heeseung was sitting on your other side, giving absolutely zero fucks about his surrounding as he typed away his essay like his life depended on it (it was due tomorrow and he just started).

"These classes are draining the life out of me," Soojin sighed dramatically as if she wasn't one of the top students at her program, she removed the scarf wrapped around her neck and placed it neatly around yours and gave it a gentle tug. "I always need to look after you, why did you forget your scarf again?" She made herself comfortable beside Jake, your eyes lingered on Sunghoon who steadily walked towards your friend circle and sat on the unoccupied place beside Soojin. You smiled sheepishly at her as you watched Sunghoon button up her coat all the way up to safeguard her from the harsh winter breeze.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," You started but Sunghoon gave you a tight look which screamed disappointment rather than anger. "Yet again?" He raised an eyebrow, shutting you up completely. You look down pouting, the air around felt heavier as his eyes weighed you down. "I was thinking of throwing a party this year for my birthday," Jay expectantly looked at everyone, successfully diverting the topic, as he slipped his hand off your shoulder.

"You? Party? I think I've seen everything in my life now," Jay threw a crumpled piece of paper in Jake's direction as soon as those words slipped past his mouth.

This has been your life from the past three semesters, Jake and Jay's constant bickering coupled with Heeseung's struggle of keeping up with his 'academically challenging' classes. When you, Sunghoon and Soojin first decided to take admission in Decelis, you thought it would be just you three against the world like it has always been but now as you sit here surrounded by three more people who decided to take comfort in your little trio you wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Yeah that sounds like a well needed break before the summer exams kick our ass," Sunghoon laughed, "right?" He glanced towards Soojin expecting her to answer back but her silence made everyone's focus shift towards her. Your eyebrows pulled together as you noticed her drifting off from reality again, "Soojin," You called out making her flinch, she met your eyes before she looked towards Sunghoon who was now facing towards her with raised eyebrows. She laughed awkwardly as she half heartedly agreed to whatever question Sunghoon asked which she did not even listen to.

"Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can leave," Soojin looked around at others before declining Sunghoon's words. Sunghoon sighed deeply as he tucked her hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes as if to reconfirm and she nodded her head, taking his hand in her hand and holding it tightly. There it was, the sickening feeling inside your stomach, back again as you looked at their intertwined hands. You swallowed the lump which began to form in your throat, inhaling deeply as you tore your eyes away from them.

Which proved to be a wrong move because your eyes landed on a certain boy with his god-awful glasses, who somehow was already looking at you as if he could see right through you. He sipped his espresso while throwing you a look of 'this-is-the-nth-time-I've-caught-you-giving-that-downbad-look-towards-your-long-time-bestfriend.' Your shoulders slumped, he scoffed, breaking eye contact and made a dramatic show of standing, gaining everyone's attention, even Heeseung's.

"I think I'm done for today guys," He smiled, narrowing his eyes at his three roommates. Jake, Jay, Sunghoon and Heeseung decided it would be better to live together after constantly struggling to find better housing separately outside of the campus as they refused to stay inside the campus dorms and Jay was more than happy to welcome the "Roofless Rizzlers" in his apartment. Jay stood up joining Jake while Heeseung started packing his belongings. He gave you a quick side hug before walking towards Soojin, ruffling her hair as he asked Sunghoon, "You coming?"

"You guys go ahead, I'll walk Soojin towards her dorm building first," Heeseung nodded, already expecting Sunghoon's answer before the words left his mouth and made his way towards the other boys patiently waiting for him. Your eyes followed them till they disappeared completely out of your sight. You stood up, adjusting the scarf Soojin placed around your neck, taking a few steps ahead and kneeling in front of where she was sitting. "Do you need me to stay with you today?" You softly caressed her hand as concern clouded your eyes, mimicking Sunghoon's.

She sighed like she carried the weight of the world around her shoulders, and maybe she really did. Every heavy breath, every soft sigh that escaped her cherry lips indicated the turmoil she carried deep within her very being. You guessed that's the price you need to pay when you're too good at what you do. As far as you remember Soojin has been an ideal daughter, teacher's favorite, a helping hand for fellow students, and a shoulder you and Sunghoon have constantly cried on. She's perfect, much like her long hair which sways with wind as if it flows just to touch her.

At one point of your life you thought nothing could get better than it already was for her, she was always at the center of the little bubble she had created, till that bubble shattered. The pieces stung your heart equally as it did to your hand when you plucked large fragments of glass from her wrist. Sunghoon frantically called the ambulance. Soojin had tried taking her own life in her room when her parents were away from the town.

Maybe it was a mother's instinct, maybe it was God's will as her grandmother said, when Soojin's mother called you, worried as she asked you to stay with Soojin that unfortunate night. You agreed, already texting Sunghoon to come join at the impromptu sleepover, you both wanted to surprise her but it was you who got surprised instead when you found her unconscious but still breathing in her room.

That night the ride towards the hospital was as chilling as the weather today, that night as Sunghoon and you sat beside each other covered in blood outside of the operation room, you made a promise to be there for Soojin, to take care of her, to prioritize her well being over your own needs and wants. You cried as the nurse tended your wounded hand, Sunghoon just sat beside you holding you close wondering if you were crying because of the injury or the sheer shock of it all.

You were teenagers then, you're adults now. But the feelings you felt that day were as clear as the morning sky mid-summer. And that feeling was creeping back upon you once again as you paid more attention towards Soojin. Her parents, grandparents, you and Sunghoon did everything you could do to help Soojin cope. Therapy, family trips, friends outing, you name it. Everyone was desperate to help her find her light again. You never talked about the suicide note you found in her room to anyone, not even Sunghoon, at her own request. It's still neatly folded and well kept at the far corner of your closest. You never read it but daily prayed to the universe that it will disappear in thin air somehow.

"I'll meet you guys tomorrow," You three were standing in front of her dorm building now. You bid her goodbye and watched as she made her way towards her designated floor. From the corner of the building Lia, Soojin's roommate, made her way towards you, a flicker of recognition and a smile of acknowledgement graced her lips as she patted your shoulder, "Don't worry, I got you guys, I'll call if she'll need you." The dorm selection happened on merit basis and you were second on the waiting list. You had to stay outside of the campus, life would've been easier if you were living with Soojin.

Sunghoon is silent beside you as you make your way towards the apartment you stay in. The sidewalk is draped with snow, it gleams with a slippery sheen in the soft evening light. You take a cautious glance towards the man you've come to recognize as your childhood best friend as you continue walking. Although things have changed significantly from how they were before, you're glad that Sunghoon's habit of walking you home never did.

Ever since the incident with Soojin, he has taken it upon himself to always be available for her, or maybe he takes care of her so feverishly because feels he needs to. Doesn't matter if his classes end early or late, if he's free or busy, he's by Soojin's side way before anyone else. You think maybe that's the reason you, even though you still wake up in the middle of the night by the nightmares, still sleep a little bit more soundly than he ever could.

He catches your eyes before you could tear it off of him, "why are you so forgetful, you know I've to be more focused on Soojin," He's nagging again, it's like a clockwork at this point, most of his thoughts begins and ends with her, you aren't even sure where Sunghoon ends and where Soojin begins. Perhaps you forget things because you want to see if he would care just as much if it were you in her place, you think you got your answers now.

You just look at him, your mind drifting towards the promise you made with each other for Soojin's sake. It was you who suggested that promise so why did it sting this so bad now? The bitter taste lingering in your mouth, why won't it go away easily? Since when did taking care of your ill-friend turned into a silent competition for you to have Sunghoon's attention? You're ruining everything you've worked hard to build, Soojin needs you both more than anything. You're pulled back to reality by Sunghoon as he tugs at your scarf, you silently glare at him as he begins taking off his gloves and putting it inside his coat's pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips before you could stop, his hands warm in comparison to your stiff and numb ones. He held your hands with such tenderness as if they would break if he didn't handle them carefully. He cradled your small hands in with his larger one, softly blowing warm air into them. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed, completely immersed into the small act like there was nothing more significant than this moment. He pulled back, not before placing a gentle kiss on your connected hands, he exhaled, you shuddered.

"Try to look after yourself more," His voice was barely audible, like he was talking to himself more than you, "please? For me?" And who are you to deny when he looked at you as if it physically pained him to even think about you being in pain. He reached for his pocket again, slipping his gloves onto your bare hands. His eyes traced the path from your glove-covered hands to your eyes, "you'll do that for me yeah?" He waited till you nodded your head, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

He moved closer, tucking your hair behind the ear before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You inhaled a sharp breath, the sky exhaled out the snowflakes.

Jay called you early in the morning in order to prepare for his birthday celebration, you had a clear schedule which Jay wanted to take advantage of. Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon weren't present in their apartment as they have classes, Soojin would tag along with them after her class ends. You're helping Jay with the decorations, a displeased look painted on your face, "what are we? 10?" You skeptically side-eye your dear friend who was happily helping you stick a giant banner of 'Happy Birthday to me: the man, the myth, the majesty,' written in bold.

His signature cheeky, roblox-styled grin graced his face, he blew you a kiss before hugging your waist. "You love me anyway," You did your best to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him today, ruffling his hair lightly as you finished sticking the banner. Both of you look around the decorations you did. It was funny how Jay was helping you with his own birthday party. "Is the cake ready? Did you call the bakery? Let's buy drinks on the way back." Jay nodded at your words, already searching for his car keys as you grabbed your phone for a long day ahead of you.

"I'll get ready in Sunghoon's room," you informed as you made your way towards the stairs, Jay walking in front of you. Exhaustion creeped upon you due to all the preparations, you wonder how Jay managed to not even break a sweat the whole day, probably too excited since it was his day today. You entered Sunghoon's room which he shared with Jake, all of your belongings neatly placed beside his desk. You took a few essentials and made your way towards the attached bathroom deciding that a quick shower won't hurt you as they still had an hour at least to return from their classes.

You smiled to yourself, feeling a bit cheerful after taking a shower, getting dressed quickly and deciding to do your hair and makeup after they arrive. You sat on his desk chair, eyes mindlessly roaming around the room. You've been here countless times, still you feel a bit flustered being here alone with your thoughts. You decided irritating Jay would be a better option until others arrive. "Are you done getting ready?" You called Jay out from outside his room, a muffled 'leave me alone, I need to prepare to look my best' was all you heard in return.

Pouting, you made your way back towards Sunghoon's room, leaning against the doorframe in boredom, thinking of ways to entertain yourself for time being when your eyes landed on a hoodie sprawled below Sunghoon's bed. "Seriously?" You shook your head as you grabbed it to put it in the laundry basket when your eyes landed on two boxes, a red one fully closed, another black one half opened lying beneath the bed. They say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction entered the chat as you sat on the floor to see what was inside it.

And maybe your mother was right when she said curiosity will lead to your downfall one day, because as you open the black box you were surprised to see it was filled with polaroids of Sunghoon and Soojin, planned and candid ones, on different occasions dating back from middle school till university, some cute keychains, few charms, and a bracelet which you don't recognize from your memory.

Silence grew heavy on your shoulders as you looked throughout the pictures, almost all of them were clicked when all three of you hung out, hell, some of the pictures were captured by you but there was no sign of you in any of the polaroids, you exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding before keeping the box where it was. You stood up, dragging your feet towards Jake's bed and sat down, mind going haywire with all the thoughts and feelings you were suddenly bombarded with.

You did it upon yourself truthfully, if only you knew how to not snoop your nose in every single matter. A voice at the back of your head nagged at you, calling you stupid, about how you were just third wheeling in their relationship, about how their life would've been better if you weren't a part of it. Another voice chimed in, this one a little bit softer as it reminded you that those two are your best friends, they love you, they aren't isolating you from their lives, that they deserve to share a special bond with each other as much as you do with each of them.

You reluctantly decided to do your hair and makeup in order to escape from your feelings. Others will be arriving soon and you didn't want your feelings to get the best of you and ruin your friend's birthday. And as you got ready for the party, eye glassy as you bite back your tears, you swore to not fall in love with Sunghoon and be an obstacle in his happiness. You refused to let your negativity win, Soojin deserves the happiness only Sunghoon could bring in her life.

The music was blaring through the speaker and the crowd was alive, every corner of the room echoed with life and laughter. The air was a bit suffocating but it vibrated with full joy. The cameras were flashing, the laughter of your friends drowned into the night's symphony. The celebration continued, each of your friends giving their 'unsolicited advice,' and words of encouragement to the birthday boy. You sat on the couch beside Jake, who was already half drunk, his head on your shoulder as he mumbled incoherent facts about fishes.

"Something is bothering you," Jake's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he looked up at you. "Nothing is bothering me," you reasoned with him. Jake has always been someone who was able to see right through your acts and while you were great at hiding things and pretending to be fine, Jake somehow always catches you right in the act.

"If that nothing goes by the name of Sunghoon then I'll agree," Your eyes widened at his remark and even though he was only whispering you wouldn't risk anyone hearing it. "Seriously Jake, it's not what you think," Jake shook his head dismissing your words completely. "He deserves to know how you feel, you know, something about all that friends don't keep secrets and shit."

"I don't think that's a good idea, plus Soojin and him seem to be more comfy with each other since past few years anyway," you smiled bitterly as those words left your mouth and thankfully Jake chose not to intervene further and you silently thanked him for that. Maybe the alcohol finally got him, you weren't ready to have this conversation today anyway. You weren't sure how long you'll be able to hold onto these feelings but you needed to get rid of them for Soojin and Sunghoon's sake.

You scanned the room, many people left, leaving only close friends behind. Jay greeted the last guest goodbye, barely able to stand as Sunghoon balanced his weight. Even when he was shit-faced drunk, the gentleman knew his etiquette well. Now only the boys, you and Soojin were left, Jake still by your side, and you still haven't decided if you want to crash out here or go home.

"Let's watch a movie," You don't really comprehend who said that but you sighed in relief when everyone else just groaned in return. Soojin sat beside you, her arms crossed trying her best to fight back sleep, you chuckled at her state before giving her temple a kiss which immediately brought a smile on her face, Sunghoon sat beside Soojin. Jay and Heeseung sat on each of the love-seat respectively.

"I'm so tired, I just want to sleep forever," You might have to agree with Jay on this one. Sunghoon put his hand at the back of the couch, his actions prompting Soojin to put her head on his shoulder with practiced ease, like the place was meant for her to rest, like she knew everytime Sunghoon opened his arms, it was for her to find home. Jake was almost half asleep on you, your head buzzing in the aftermath of all the noise and screams. You tilt your head to rest against the couch, very much aware of Soojin softly complaining to Sunghoon about feeling tired after all the classes, then party, and how she'll have to go back to the dorms.

Sunghoon listened to every word escaping from her lips, smiling softly at her state. Soojin always complained about things but would go to the moon and back if it meant she'll get a single smile from her friends. You sighed, maybe going back to your apartment was genuinely a better idea. The constant train of thoughts inside your head broke when a hand slid below your head from where it was resting against the couch.

You looked to the side to see Sunghoon still talking with Soojin and occasionally with Heeseung and Jay, but his hand cradled your head as he soothingly traced circles on your head, his fingers tangled in your hair. And your attention should be on Soojin truthfully, given how overstimulated she feels while being constantly surrounded by people but your mind was hyper-aware of the way Sunghoon gently massaged your head, how gentle his fingers were.

His hand moved towards your ear, gave it a gentle tug before mindlessly tracing patterns on it. He was still talking with Heeseung about some dumb movie they watched last week. His touch continued, alternating between your head, ear and then back of your neck and you couldn't help but lean more into his hand. Somewhere deep down in your gut you knew you were doomed but you were glad he didn't stop with his touch either.

You flickered the light switch of your apartment on, Soojin making her way towards your bathroom to get fresh. You offered Soojin to stay the night at your place since it was way too late for her to go back to the dorms. You texted Sunghoon that you reached your apartment, took an oversized shirt and sweatpants from the closet and put it on bed for Soojin to wear. After Soojin was done, you did your own nightly routine, changing into comfy clothes, ready to sleep.

"I'll bring water for you," You smiled at Soojin who was already halfway into the dreamland and made your way to the kitchen. You checked your phone to see Sunghoon's reply, a simple 'call me when you can' glaring back at you. You checked the time, 03:00 AM, shrugging you decided to call him anyway. He picked up after two rings.

"Is she asleep?" You rolled your eyes at his voice, "what happened to hello? How are you?" You could picture his exaggerating sigh just as you heard it, "hello beautiful, why aren't you sleeping yet? Is Soojin asleep?" You turned back to take a look inside your bedroom, "Yeah, she's asleep." You slowly shut the bedroom door close so as to not disturb her sleep.

"Why? What's up?" You bit your lips as you sat on your couch waiting for him to answer, "I noticed she's been out of it for sometime, I'm worried about her," You exhaled a deep breath, adjusting your position on the couch as you listened Sunghoon recalling about the instances where Soojin would randomly zone out, get easily irritated and overwhelmed, tale-tell sign of her having troubles with her thoughts again.

You hummed in agreement, heart racing, fist clenching as you told him about your observations during your usual hangouts. You prayed the phase she was in would go away quickly, the summer exams were fast approaching and you knew she would be too sensitive during those phases, pulling all-nighters, not eating properly, ignoring everyone. That's how she gets when stressful situations arrive in her life. You have been used to it by now and you both try your best to be there for her during such times to make things easier for her. Sometimes risking your own grades just for her sake.

"Well....staying by her side and keeping an eye on her is all we can do for now," That was a no-brainer and Sunghoon didn't need you to voice out your answer to know you agree with him. "You've been helping Jay since morning, why aren't you asleep yet? You need proper rest for your body to function the next day, trouble." "Yeah, yeah...I know, I'll go to sleep now," you softly yawned.

"Okay, good night, take care of her and of yourself so that I can sleep peacefully, okay?" You nodded before realizing he can't hear you, "I will hoon, try not to stay awake so late at night too, this isn't your first time, you're making me worried sick too, you know." Sunghoon sighed before reluctantly agreeing with you. He knows he gets lost inside his head one too many times, he's aware you and Soojin try your best to pull at the threads of the maze his head creates. And he is trying his best, he swears to it, to be strong for both of you, especially for Soojin since her attempt. You bid your goodbye and make your way towards your bedroom to finally let sleep consume you.

The crisp morning light falls directly on your face, you groan, not yet ready to face the next day. You toss and turn before draping your hand and leg over Soojin's body, your head nuzzling at the crook of her neck. The touch of her lips on your head is featherlight as she sleepily holds your body closer to hers. "Morning sleepyhead," you whine in protest, hugging her body more closely, "don't wanna," Soojin laughs as her fingers thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as her soft humming fills your ears.

For a moment your thoughts drift back to last night when Sunghoon's fingers were tangled in your hair before you felt yourself drifting off again. You could get used to this mornings, waking beside Soojin, freshening up and then preparing and eating breakfast together, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Maybe sometimes Sunghoon would join too, you and Sunghoon would bicker and Soojin would try her best to resolve the issue. Sleepovers with them were your favorite amongst everything.

"Move in with me," you didn't even move an inch, feeling utterly comfortable while cuddling with your best friend. "Why? Does my baby feel alone?" Even though there was a hint of teasing in Soojin's voice, she knew how lonely it gets to live alone. When you didn't answer back she just sighed, adjusting her position a little bit to get more comfortable, "how about next semester? Would you like that?"

"For real?" If the excitement wasn't detectable from your voice, the wide grin plastered on your face gave it away. Soojin just laughed, removing strands of hair sticking on your forehead as she nodded, "I've thought about it, you can't cook properly, I can't watch you eat unhealthy food on daily basis, I'll cook home-cooked meals for you, in return you wash the dishes, just like we always planned." You looked at her, still unsure but excited nonetheless, "we can watch as many movies as we want, I'll wash your hair when you don't feel like it, you'll help me do my homework when I get stuck on it. You won't have to worry about my health issues, I will always keep you entertained. Sounds like a plan."

Soojin sighed as she listened to you rambling about all the things you would do, how you'll throw a welcome party with the boys. You chatted and she paid attention to every word that left your mouth, throwing hums of appreciation and a few words to add to your neverending list of things you would do when she would move in. You both got fresh, made and ate breakfast together, cleaned the dishes and were now sprawled on your couch watching a newly released drama series.

"It has been a while since you and I spent time like this, right?" You tossed the popcorn in your mouth, nodding in agreement. Surprisingly Sunghoon has neither texted you or Soojin until now, maybe he's still asleep. "Sunghoon always cock-blocks us, who does he think he is?" Soojin just laughed, directing her attention towards the drama, "Don't be so harsh on him, you know how he is." You made a face, "whatever, I don't need him when I have you." You both know that's a white lie.

"You say you don't need him, but look at him like he hung up the stars in the sky," You choked on the popcorn you were eating at that, Soojin alarmed over your state as she patted your back to help. You looked at her wide-eyed, reaching for the glass of water kept on the coffee table with trembling hands. "What do you mean? I mean he indeed put the star stickers on the ceiling of my room in my parents house if that counts?" Soojin rolled her eyes so hard you thought they got stuck at the back of her head.

"You know what I'm talking about but if you aren't comfortable we won't discuss further," she picked up the empty bowl of popcorn, cleaning the mess you both made, "come to me when you're ready enough okay?" You couldn't help but let confusion overtake your features. And as Soojin hugged you goodbye and you stood in your hallway watching her go, you wondered why Soojin was suddenly talking about Sunghoon to you in this way? Does she not feel the same way about him? Were you perceiving everything wrong? Because as far as you knew, more than you, it was Soojin who looked at him like he hung stars in the sky.

The summer sun irritated your skin, your school's uniform blazer neatly placed on your lap, "ugh, I hate summer with burning passion," You tried putting your hair in a ponytail, muttering curses under your breath as summer heat consumed you whole. Soojin chuckled lightly before getting up from her seat, turning you around as she helped you with your hair. "Cry baby, you're in high school now...grow up," You gave Sunghoon a sharp glare, complaining to Soojin about how he's always so indifferent when it comes to you. Soojin just laughed, placing a gentle kiss on your head as she sat down behind you, placing her head on your shoulder.

It had been a year since Soojin's incident, and you were glad to hear her smile and laugh again, so if that meant you had to constantly bicker with Sunghoon then so be it. You were just glad you didn't lose her that day. When your eyes found Sunghoon he was already looking at you with a soft smile, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Soojin was smiling more these days, and you were glad things were going back to how they were.

"Ah, I forgot," You stood up frantically gathering your things as the other two watched you with confused eyes, "I've to help my mom with dinner since her friends are coming," Your blazer fell down on the ground, "need to go, I'll meet you guys tomorrow, byee." Sunghoon and Soojin could only shake their heads at your forgetfulness and you made a run towards the school's gate. You were halfway through your way when you realized your blazer was, in fact, not in your hand, you don't even recall where you dropped it.

"Fuck, how stupid I could get?" You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed your mom's number, thankful that she picked it up quickly. You told her about your blazer, of how you're unsure to run home or back towards school to find it. Your mother laughed, reassuring you that your dad had come home early to help, urging you to get your blazer before it's too late. You sighed in relief before running back towards school, hoping and praying you dropped it somewhere nearby. It had slowly started to get dark when you reached the school's ground, you made your way slowly towards the place you, Soojin and Sunghoon, hung out.

Your eyes fell upon your blazer neatly folded and placed upon the bench you were sitting along with Soojin and Sunghoon who's belongings. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion since both of them were nowhere in your sight. You made your way towards the back of the school filled with large palm trees, your feet coming to a stop as you caught a sight of them.

Soojin's hand was held by Sunghoon as they stood in front of each other, close, maybe a little too close, they were talking, you aren't sure about what. Your ears were ringing loudly anyway, and you stood there watching it all. Soojin stepped closer, her hand clutching his necktie as she leaned in close. Sunghoon's hand raising up to cradle her cheek. The distance between their lips shortened, you turned your back and never looked back till you reached your parents house, blazer still lying on the bench you were sitting earlier that day.

You sighed deeply, laying on your bed, as you remember watching them together. Sunghoon handed you the blazer, washed and ironed, first thing in the morning when he picked you up from your house the next day. You remember smiling awkwardly and being quiet all the way to school, even Soojin looked concerned. Everything was normal that day, between Sunghoon and Soojin at least, because all you did for the next few days after that was wonder when they'll break the news of them being a couple to you.

As the time passed, you thought less about it, maybe both of them just weren't ready to open up to you. Eventually you stopped wondering all together, cause nothing drastically changed between you three after that day. Soojin was still recovering from her traumas, maybe they wanted to take things slow. But something shifted slightly, Sunghoon started paying more attention towards Soojin, you thought it was inevitable if they had feelings for each other, you made peace with that fact. Back then you only feared they would forget you, that they'll forget they had another piece in their puzzle but as you grew older you realize you not only feared losing them as your friend but also about your growing feelings for Sunghoon.

You knew you had feelings for him way before you even realized, especially when he smiled at you, crooked teeth and all, when you fell down your bike on the first day of your middle school. You remember him apologizing, his small hand grabbing your smaller one as he helped you stand up, and how Soojin ran towards you both and scolded Sunghoon intensely for hurting her 'bestest best friend in the whole world.'

He just stood there as he listened to her scolding, his face as serious as it could get, like he wanted to prove Soojin that he was indeed deeply saddened by the fact that you got hurt. It took a while for Soojin's 11 year old self to calm herself down and you hugged her, face full of guilt as you explained that it should be you apologising since you weren't paying attention while riding the bike and almost hitting Sunghoon who wasn't even aware you were bolting towards him. The look on Soojin's face was priceless and Sunghoon offered to be both of your '2nd bestest best friend in the world' as an apology, you quickly agreed and the rest is history.

"I applied for this program because it was academically challenging but I did not think it would actually challenge me," Heeseung was struggling with his study material, his head propped lazily on your lap as he abandoned his laptop on the coffee table. "Oh poor bambi," You mumbled massaging his head to release some of his stress. Jake was drinking his deathpresso again as he sat surrounded by countless textbooks and binders. Jay and Sunghoon were studying together in Jay's room to not get distracted. Soojin was back in her dorm room, probably didn't even sleep for a minute.

You texted and called her in regular intervals to remind her to eat and rest, exam season was always too hectic. After sometime Heeseung got up to continue his study and you placed your textbook back in your lap to continue from where you left. One more paper and then you all were free for the rest of the summer.

"Are you planning on going home after exams?" Heeseung asked as all six of you were eating dinner at the local diner near the college campus. When Soojin didn't pick up her phone for the 2nd time, Sunghoon decided it was time to drag her out to force her to eat something. You were thankful that Heeseung, Jay and Jake had a mutual understanding about everything that had happened but never dared to touch the topic in front of Soojin. "Not me, I will try to find some summer jobs to save up money," Jake nodded at your words agreeing with you.

"I'm staying here too, I need to find and apply for internships as soon as possible," Sunghoon said, your eyes drifting to Soojin who agreed to stay with you the whole summer since she didn't want to go back home alone. Jay's family was going on a long vacation so he'll be gone for half of the summer holidays. Heeseung and Jake decided to be back from the holidays as soon as Jay came so that all of you could spend the rest of the summer together. "All the best for tomorrow guys," and you were off to your respective places.

Your steps felt light as you exited your exam hall, you decided worrying about how you wrote your exams now was useless anyway. You met the boys at the usual sitting area near the far right building. You checked the time, Soojin and Heeseung were always the last ones to exit the exam hall. You smiled, getting up from your seat as you spotted her walking towards you. "Soojin! Come fast!" Sunghoon shook his head as he grabbed your wrist, smiling lightly, making you sit back once again.

Soojin's steps flattered as she neared the spot, what once began as a smile on your face ended in tremble as you watched her balance tip, your feet were moving before your mind did, Sunghoon few steps ahead but still too far. You closed your eyes, unable to watch her hit the ground, you could hear distant voices of Jay, Jake and Sunghoon yelling at her to stay put and then everything went silent.

You opened your eyes, everything stilled, Soojin laid unconscious, in Heeseung's arms as he tapped her cheek to wake her up. Sunghoon reached forward, taking her from Heeseung's arm as he instructed Jay to get his car. You couldn't move, still glued in the same place as you watched everything unfold, eyes never leaving Soojin's face as Sunghoon placed her inside the car. Heeseung followed soon, making himself comfortable in the passenger's seat.

Somewhere in between, you felt Jake grab your arm and pull you towards his car. You let him drag you, your mind blank. He pushed you towards the passenger's seat and fastened your seat belt, and made his way towards the driver seat. The drive towards the hospital was silent, Jake throwing concerned glances at you as he kept on driving. You didn't even let him properly park before you were taking out your seatbelt and making a run towards the hospital.

You found Sunghoon and Jay near the end of the hallway. "Where's she?" "She's inside the room, the doctor is examining her, I heard the doctor say something about fatigue and low energy," You nodded at Jay before slumping against the chair, your hand trembling as you stared at the room she currently was in. You don't remember when Jake joined you three, you could hear Jay's voice in the distance explaining that Heeseung was taking care of the medical obligations, but their voices were muffled and all you could focus on was the door in front of you.

Sunghoon sat beside you, his fingers on your shirt's button where a few strands of hair had tangled in all the rush, you let him untangle them. It was his way of keeping himself grounded, paying more attention to trivial things in order to temporarily forget about the bigger ones. His hand grabbed your trembling ones, assuring you that it was probably due to stress. You forced yourself to listen to him, you forced yourself to believe in his words even when your instinct told you not to.

After some time, you were allowed to see Soojin. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung entered the room and you stayed back to ask the doctor about her condition. She explained to you how Soojin was severely dehydrated, she hadn't eaten in days so she had no energy left, and the all nighters she pulled didn't help her condition either.

When you entered the room, you simply asked Sunghoon to bring some juice and energy drink for Soojin. You sat beside her silently, holding her hand which wasn't connected to the IV tube, the same hand which bore the scar of the pain she endured years ago. Jay, Jake and Heeseung stayed with you, Jay put your head on his shoulder in a silent way to say he's there, right beside you. And as you sat there in the hospital room with all the boys by Soojin's side, a small tear escaped your eye realizing this is the closest you could get to a second home.

You made Jay, Jake and Heeseung go back to the apartment even though they were very reluctant. Sunghoon had gone with them to prepare some food for Soojin to eat in the hospital. You washed your face in the hospital's bathroom, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Something was bothering you at the back of your mind, but you decided to pay attention to it later. You made your way back into Soojin's room, she looked better now than before, she was talking with a nurse with a newfound enthusiasm which you couldn't find earlier when another nurse was checking up on her.

The nurse gave you a smile of acknowledgement as she scribbled on her notepad and left, you gave Soojin a wary look as you sat beside her. "This nurse is way nicer than the other one, kinder too, I like her," A smile graced your lips at her words, taking note of the fact that being nicer indeed makes people's life easier. "I told you to take care of yourself, I asked you many times if you've eaten, you lied to me?" Her face went pale, she avoided holding eye contact with you.

"I tried to eat, I couldn't swallow anything due to the anxiousness creeping up on me, what if I fail this exam?" You could see her eyes getting glassy as she rambled on about how the exams are stressing her, how she is feeling like a loser, "You've never once failed Soojin, and these percentage means nothing, all of us will love you the same even if you score less marks, I can guarantee you that I'll love you regardless of anything. I won't leave your side." You wiped the tears before they slid across her face, you were scared, scared for her, for her parents, for Sunghoon, for yourself. How are you supposed to make her realize she's more than her achievements and reputation? You were desperate to pull her out of this, desperate enough to pray.

"Really? You'll love me even if I fail all of my subjects? Even when I won't win that debate competition? Even when I look ugly? Will you?" She held your hands in her pale ones, like they were the only thing keeping her sane. "Yes, I'll love you through it all, not only me but Sunghoon too okay? Remember you're moving in with me next semester, I'll help you make flashcards and study materials and stay awake with you revising each and every topic. That's my promise to you, I'm still thinking about all of that, I'll be by your side."

"What if I ruin you? What if you get irritated by me? You have trouble sleeping, if you stay awake for me won't it affect your health too? What about your studies? Aren't your parents expecting you to graduate first class? Won't you feel suffocated? What if you'll start hating me-" You shut her mouth with your hand, you held her tighter in your arms as you repeatedly told her that it would never happen.

"Soojin, if I had two hearts, I would give you the second one too, just to break. So it doesn't matter to me, I will gladly embrace the inconveniences that come along with you. Those aren't inconveniences for me, nothing about you is an inconvenience for me, I chose your struggles when I chose you. Sunghoon and I are staying for good." You let her soak your shirt as she cried in your arms and you didn't let go even after she stopped.

"I think it will be better for me to go back home for the holidays, staying here will only stress me out more if I'll see someone working harder than me," You nodded at her words, maybe staying with family will keep her head off of the university's stress. You'll inform her parents about her condition too. "If that's what you want...I won't oppose it." Soojin gave you a warm smile, placing a kiss on your cheek, "can you promise me one thing?" 

"Promise? What?" She sat up straight facing you, she looked adorably cute in that hospital gown, you pinched her cheeks and she swat your hands away before once again holding them, "promise me you'll take care of yourself and Sunghoon when I am not here, both of you tend to get overbearing when it comes to me, and Sunghoon worries so much about me that it worries me," you let her words sink in your chest before you nodded, "I'll take care of him and me, pinky promise."

Your summer holidays are as boring as they could get, with only Sunghoon and you in the city while others are enjoying their families. You almost wished you went along with Soojin to your hometown instead. Sunghoon packed his bag and decided to live with you for the time being because you wouldn't shut up about being bored all the time. You tried looking for a job but the summer heat was unbearable, so work from home it is. Sunghoon, as he said, was indeed very busy with his internship applications and research. But at least you weren't alone.

You regularly FaceTimed and texted Soojin, even Sunghoon always joined in each and every call despite his schedule. But it seems your presence beside her would have been better than the calls you three shared. With time, the schedule got busier, you got another work from home opportunity which you could fit in your schedule. Sunghoon started his internship, and would only come back in the evening. The number of calls started declining the more you got exhausted due to work. And each day, the light inside Soojin's eyes started getting more and more dimmer. You occasionally talked with her mother to get updates from her, and she always said the same thing, Soojin wouldn't talk with them more than necessary.

"I had a talk with Soojin's mom yesterday," You were leaning back against the headboard and Sunghoon laid beside you, his eyes closed, finally being able to rest since it was a weekend. "I think I should go and pay her visit, she said Soojin is growing more and more quieter day by day." Sunghoon opened his eyes at that, shifting a bit as he laid his head on your lap instead, "Is it that bad? I will come with you." You played with his hair, thinking about his suggestion, maybe Soojin would appreciate Sunghoon's presence more than yours. "What about your internship?"

"I'll handle it, let's share this with Soojin. She'll be excited to know we're visiting her." Your eyes lit up at his suggestion as you FaceTimed Soojin. Sunghoon sat you straight leaning into your phone's frame. She picked up the phone at the last ring, "what's up?" You and Sunghoon waved as soon as you saw her face on the screen, she smiled half heartedly as she jumped on her bed to sleep.

"We're coming to meet you and maybe stay there for a couple of days." You smiled brightly at her as Sunghoon nodded his head. "Both of you? What about your jobs and your internships?" You laughed at her confused expression shaking your head, "Don't worry about that, nothing is more important than you," You nodded your head in agreement at Sunghoon's words. "Seriously guys! I'm really FINE, don't change your schedules for me, it's just a phase, I'll be alright!" She hung up the call before even listening.

You exchanged a look with Sunghoon at her sudden outburst, yeah, something was definitely wrong, yeah, you really needed to visit her to calm her down. She was getting pulled right back into the abyss you thought she left behind in high school. You immediately sent email to both your jobs for emergency leave and Sunghoon did the same with his internship. You both started packing your essentials so that the first thing both of you do in the morning is to board the train taking you back to your hometown.

The ride towards your hometown was filled with anxiousness and concern. You tried calling Soojin to tell her you'll be arriving early in the afternoon, then once again when you boarded the train, then again when you were halfway through your destination, but she didn't pick up even once. "I feel like throwing up since midnight, the feeling won't go away hoon," Sunghoon's face was hardened as he looked out the window, his persistent tapping of legs indicating the turmoil he himself was going through.

"It will go away, everything will be alright, it has to be," He anxiously checked the time and station every 5 minutes. He was getting agitated with every call getting ignored. Soojin had never ignored the call, even her parents won't pick up. The train ride was nerve wracking for both of you as you reached your destination.

Visiting Soojin straight after reaching your hometown was a decision both of you didn't need to verbalize. The house was locked when you arrived making you more confused than you already were. No one was picking up the phone, no one was in the house, what was even happening? You dialed her number again, the silence of your surroundings made it possible for you to hear the distant sound of a phone ringing from inside the house. She left the phone in the house. You heard a familiar voice call out your name, you and Sunghoon walked towards Soojin's neighbor, an old grandma who always gave you three sweets whenever she could. "Where are they?"

"You don't know?" You and Sunghoon exchanged a curious glance at her worried tone, "why?" You were practically holding onto the fence for dear life as you ushered grandma to continue, "Soojin attempted to take her life early in the morning today, all of them are at the hospital, she's in a very critical condition-"

Sunghoon dragged you out of the yard and towards the hospital before grandma couldn't even finish her sentence properly. You were out of breath, Sunghoon being relatively taller and faster, you let him drag your body along with him. He stopped right in front of the hospital gate, unable to bring himself to enter. "I'm scared," So were you, Sunghoon let you drag him inside the hospital, his mind numb as he forced himself to take one step after another. "She'll be alright, her parents were with her," you tried to reason out.

You spotted Soojin's younger brother and rushed towards him, he immediately broke down in your arms. Her mother and father were sitting outside of the operation room covered in blood as they prayed for her, it reminded you of the first time when you were here with Sunghoon. "She'll be alright, right?" Sunghoon kneeled in front of her mother, she broke down immediately after noticing you both. "What happened?" Your voice trembled as your eyes flickered between her parents and the operation room.

"We heard a some noise, a soft thud, I thought someone had barged into our house so I woke Soojin's dad to inspect and we found her lying on the ground unconscious, with blood dripping from her hand-" her mother couldn't stop another wave of tears from flowing so her dad continued, "they have been inside the OR for hours, she was breathing still, we informed police about this, her brother found a note."

"Tell her we don't expect much from her as long as she's happy, tell her we love her regardless, I can't take it anymore, let her live pain free, please," You hugged her mom as tears formed in your eyes. Sunghoon was already crying, his head resting against your lap. The light of the Operation room dimmed, her dad and mom were first to make a move towards the doors, you and Sunghoon stayed where you were, eyes trained towards the room.

The doctor walked out, his face gravely. At that moment, the world stood still. The doctor’s lips moved, but all you could hear was a roaring silence. Your heart knew before my mind caught up, Soojin was gone. The hallway was too quiet, too sterile for grief. When the doctor looked at you, you saw it in his eyes, loss wrapped in professionalism. His voice was calm, but it shattered your world. They always say you'll remember the exact moment you hear it. For you, it was the way the doctor hesitated before speaking, "I'm sorry, we tried everything we could."

The scent of incense irritated your nose and burned your eyes. With trembling hands you offered flowers in front of Soojin's portrait. Your parents and siblings stood beside you, bowing towards the altar as they silently mourned. Soojin was smiling brightly in her portrait, a picture captured by you in her happiest moment, framed in black ribbon above the altar. The room was filled with hushed conversations, some sympathetic, others judgmental. You decided you would stay quiet for Soojin's peaceful departure.

Jake and Jay were helping with the food, Heeseung stayed beside Soojin's parents in case they needed anything. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who was seated at the far corner of the room, his parents right by his side as they consoled him. He just sat, not even moving an inch.

When the time arrived, Soojin's mother couldn't let go of her. Sunghoon gently but firmly held her back as she cried in his arms, defeated. Someone wailed loudly, who? You aren't sure, your eyes never left Soojin's face even when they closed the coffin, like a finality that this was it. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung, along with Soojin's brother and dad helped in picking up the coffin.

You helped her mother carry her portrait in the front. Outside air was chill, it sent a shiver down your spine. A white car was waiting outside the funeral hall, a coffin was placed, the car took off as everyone bowed for the last time.

You softly called out for Soojin's brother, "take your parents back home, they must be tired. Make sure they rest, you've to be strong for them. I'll handle the rest." He nodded his head, wiping his tears before urging his parents to get in Jay's car to drive back home.

You haven't cried the entire time, you weren't sure if you'll be able to. You stood in the middle of the empty funeral hall, eyes not leaving the spot Soojin was moments prior, you didn't move, you didn't dare to disturb the silence with your presence. You just stared at nothing in particular, your mind haywire with everything and nothing simultaneously. You wanted to cry, to yell, to feel something other than the hollowness you felt deep in your heart, but tears won't come out. You hand made its way inside your dress pocket, your fingers curled around a neatly folded envelope. "Soojin left it for you and Sunghoon, I found it beside the note addressed to us."

You aren't sure how much time has passed, you're still at the same place, unable to let go, unable to come to terms with the fact that a piece of your past has decided to stay frozen forever. You aren't sure how you'll escape this loneliness, when all of your memories till now had Soojin in it. You felt Sunghoon's presence before you saw him, he stood beside you for a moment, didn't utter a single word. You wondered how he's coping with the news, you haven't even spoken to him since yesterday, yet you've been with each other all along.

He sighed deeply, his hand circling around your wrist. He wordlessly dragged you out of the hall, you let him. You weren't sure where he was taking you, but you didn't protest. Evening breeze irritated your skin, it was still the middle of the summer, the air was too humid, suffocating you slowly. The breeze brought anything but peace to you. Sunghoon sat you down on one of the benches of the hall's garden. He never let go off your hand, fingers now intertwined with yours. The sky looked pretty today, you almost clicked a picture to send it to Soojin.

"I tried my best to make her understand, when she slept in my apartment on Jay's birthday, when she was hospitalized, I....I tried everything I could to help her understand but...." your voice gave out, you didn't know how to even explain this to him. Sunghoon gulped, "I did all I could do too, when she would complain about things while walking to our hangouts, when she got less marks than she anticipated, when I was walking with her while coming to Jay's party, when I called her at the middle of the night when she was pulling those all-nighters."

"Do you think she's at peace now?" You finally dared yourself to look at him, sullen eyes, chapped lips, ruined shirt collar. You heard him sigh, "maybe she is, she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders." You didn't disagree, instead you felt Sunghoon guide your head on his shoulder. "You know," You laughed bitterly, "I moved all of my things to accommodate hers, I was so excited that I was finally going to have a roommate." Sunghoon just listened as you sat there talking about how you had planned everything, you talked and talked till you couldn't anymore, till the security guard gently smiled at you both, telling you it's time to close.

The summer holidays came to an end, you and Sunghoon, occasionally Jay, Jake and Heeseung, spent it with Soojin's family. Helping them move Soojin's things from her dorm room, with house chores, with her brother's assignments, and everything which you could. Lia decided to move out of the dorm, the emptiness of their dorm room was eating her up she said, you don't blame her. She had spent everyday living with Soojin. You suggested that she visit you sometimes if she missed Soojin too much.

You were currently working on your assignment, it was past midnight yet you were wide awake. You were afraid to fall asleep, memories of Soojin's death lingering at the back of your mind like a tape record with a broken off button. Her absence was still fresh, you still sometimes dial her number or almost text her about random things. The group chat three of you had was silent now, yet sometimes you or Sunghoon would message a thing or two, mainly when your brains were too foggy to realize that Soojin isn't going to reply.

You texted Sunghoon asking about his whereabouts and now you can't help but keep on glancing at every notification on your phone hoping it's from him. He rarely ignored you, especially after what happened with Soojin, he had made it his personal mission to be there for you. You wondered where he was, he never left you hanging like this so you were getting anxious. Even though your conscience begged you to not disturb others who are sleeping, you still found yourself texting Jay to ask about Sunghoon.

Surprisingly, Jay replied immediately informing you that Sunghoon left the apartment hours ago and is yet to come back. You asked him if he had any idea where he was but he told you he thought Sunghoon was with you like always. You replied that you haven't seen or heard from him after he dropped you off from university to your apartment. You quickly exited the chat, dread creeping up on you, you silently prayed he will pick up this time.

After a few rings, you heard a faint sound coming from the other side of the phone, "Sunghoon?" You heard him take a sharp intake of breath followed by a very clear and loud hiccup. Soft music could be heard but it was muffled with the sounds of traffic, people and wind. "Where are you?" Another hiccup, "It's 5:00 AM, why are you awake?" You rubbed your tired eyes in exhaustion. "I asked you a question first! Are you drunk?"

"Very much," You got up, took the keys in your hand, locked your door, started your car and entered his location details on the map. "I'm coming to get you, stay where you are." You didn't think you would end up in this situation today, your eyelids were getting heavier due to lack of sleep. You saw him slumped against a lamppost near the bar, you helped him get inside your car, texting Jay that you found him and are now taking him to your apartment.

You haven't seen him quite this drunk, ever. You recalled having a conversation with Jake, about how Sunghoon wasn't much involved in their chats or hangouts, they figured he needed some time to himself, to deal with the grief like he wanted, if this is how he was planning on grieving then you weren't going to let it happen. You've already lost Soojin, you weren't going to let Sunghoon be next. You helped him with his shoes and jacket, pushing him towards your bedroom.

You laid him on your bed, helping him with his accessories, putting them on your nightstand. You pulled a blanket on him, and he quietly let you. You were skeptical with him being so compliant, normally he was very hard to handle when drunk. He had his eyes closed, letting you pamper him all you want, you removed a few hair from his forehead before pulling back to continue with your work.

"Don't leave," When you turned around, he was already sitting up looking at you with pleading eyes, you sighed as you made your way back, standing beside him. His hands circled around your waist, his head on your stomach, he nuzzled his head closer inhaling your scent, "don't leave please," his voice was muffled but you heard it anyway. You ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. The desperation in his voice pulling your heart apart.

"I can't lose you too, you mean the world to me, I can't lose you like I lost Soojin, please," Your shirt soaked with his tears as he cried, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he held you like his life depended on it. "I'm not leaving, I'm here," your presence grounded him as he cried till no tears left in his eyes to shed. Whispers of 'I feel so empty', 'I feel alone', 'I unintentionally called her but her brother picked the phone', 'where did I go wrong' left his mouth and you listened. After a while when silence surrounded you both you pushed him back against the bed, and climbed to the other side of the bed. He immediately shifted near you, taking your hand in between both of his and closed his eyes. You sighed, patting his back to help him sleep.

The constant shifting on your bed was what pulled you out of sleep the next morning, your mind still foggy as you turned to look beside you. The morning light seeped through the space between the curtains, you lifted your head to look at Sunghoon who was constantly tossing and turning. You chuckled lightly, pulling him by his shirt, he obliged albeit half confused, his hand circled around your waist, lazily pulling your body closer to his, tucking his head on your neck.

"Morning," you softly comb your finger through his hair, "My head is thumping like a drum," he whined, holding you tightly, his groggy morning voice sent shivers down your spine. You softly massaged his hair to help with his hangover. He hummed in delight, feeling a bit better. You stayed like that for a while, your eyes getting heavy once again.

"Shall I move in with you?" You were wide awake now, "Are you sleep talking?" Sunghoon leaned back a little to give you a tight look, then resumed his previous position. "No, you're bad at taking care of yourself, you don't sleep or eat properly, you're a walking hazard to put it simply...I'm afraid you need constant supervision."

"....that didn't help me feel better"

"It wasn't meant to make you feel better, just pure fact," you hit the back of his head to remind him of his hangover, he winced pinching your side in return. You slapped his hands too, "what are you good at anyway?" His fingers traced circles around your stomach and you gulped, clearing your throat, "washing dishes?" Sunghoon laughed loudly as he propped himself on his elbow to look at your face. "Washing dishes? Hmm....let's see...I can cook well, you can wash dishes, how does that sound?"

That sounds great, you wanted to tell him but words got stuck in your throat. It sounded exactly how you imagined living with your roommate would be like. How similar it was to what you discussed with Soojin. Sunghoon's smile flattered as he looked into your eyes, his free hand gently cradling your face to shift your attention back on him. "It sounds perfect," you muttered. He narrowed his eyes at you but didn't push further.

"You sound like you dread having a roommate," he pouted as he got off the bed, holding his head since it started spinning due to sudden movement. "I dread having you as my roommate, what if you poison me?" He scoffed, throwing a towel on your face, "trust me, I would have already if it was legally allowed. I don't want this handsome face to be behind the bars where no one would be able to appreciate it." You made sure he heard you gag at that thought.

You were eating breakfast or brunch if you looked at the time, talking about you having a chat with Soojin's parents and asking yours to visit them from time to time. Sunghoon smiled softly, playing with a fork rather than eating. He was happy to see you talk about Soojin without dread looming above you. Things haven't been easier, and he fears it won't ever. Thinking both of your lives would go on without Soojin already leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but he knows Soojin wouldn't want him or you to be hung up on her.

Sunghoon isn't blind, perhaps a little too good at observation, he knew you still had nightmares from the time Soojin attempted to take her life, after all you were the first one to see her in that condition. He knew it would be more difficult for you to stay alone with Soojin gone. Soojin had once told him how you sleep better if you have someone with you. He thinks he finally understands what Soojin meant when he saw you sleeping soundly beside him. He didn't want to take a risk by leaving you alone, especially now that Soojin wasn't there for you to run up to.

You nudged his leg with yours when you saw him zoning out, "don't play with your food, how many times do I have to tell you?" He smirked at your words, "many times now that you agreed on being my roommate." You rolled your eyes, going back to eat your food.

Sunghoon sighed, finishing his food and helping you with the dishes, "you're pretty good at cooking, I always thought Jay or Soojin helped you but I guess I was wrong."

"Help me? You mean to say of all these years you were eating my food, you didn't think I was the one making it?" You nodding enthusiastically was not even the last reaction expected. "I need my daily dose of appreciation now as a compensation for all the years of ignorance."

"Ugh, I hate you with burning passion,"

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I don't." Sunghoon dried his hands before ruffling your hair. "You're going back?" Sunghoon nodded, promising to shift his things into your apartment the following weekend.

As soon as Sunghoon entered his apartment he was greeted by a very stern looking Jay sitting beside a very oblivious and confused Jake. "You should at least inform someone before disappearing like that! Do you know how worried everyone was?" Sunghoon sighed, mumbling an apology to never repeat it again as he made his way towards his room to relax and continue his work.

He changed into more comfortable clothes, quickly texting you that he reached home. He stretched a bit before making his way towards his study desk to finish his assignment. As soon as he opened his laptop, his headache rolled back due to the screen light, he closed the laptop with lightning speed. He massaged his head, groaning lightly before pulling his hair in frustration. He stood up, trying to recall where he put his medicine box the last time he cleaned.

He found the box placed carelessly on the far end of Jake's computer. He took the box, walking back towards his bed to take the glass of water from the night stand. He swallowed the medicine and hoped it would work fast. The cover of the tablet fell down in the process. He sighed before crouching down to throw the trash in the dustbin when his eyes landed on the boxes kept below his bed. His eyes trained on the half opened one, he reached forward and opened it fully. He smiled at the polaroids and keychains as he rummaged through it. He stopped when he caught the sight of a bracelet, he picked it up bringing it up to his eyes before putting it back inside, closing the box.

Sunghoon sighed, fragments of his past life connecting together to make a bigger, clear, picture. That day started normal, Sunghoon picking you up from your house, you running away from him as soon as you spotted Soojin, him waving at her before continuing the classes. It was the last class of the day when Soojin approached him, "Sunghoon, do you have a spare book in your locker? I forgot mine." Very unlikely that Soojin would be the one to forget something but he got up to get her the book anyway.

The locker room was situated outside of the classes, in a common area. The hallway was empty as Sunghoon opened his locker. His eyes landed on a black box neatly placed inside his locker, confusion gracing his features as he looked around to see anyone who may have left it. Sunghoon's locker being filled with gifts and letters on certain occasions was nothing new, he had grown used to it, but he couldn't recall that day being anything special. A letter was neatly folded above the box, he carefully opened the letter and it didn't even take a minute for him to recognize the handwriting of Soojin.

'Before you open the box, I need to talk to you alone, meet me at our usual hangout after school?'

Sunghoon eyed the box, staring at it as if it would start spilling out secrets hidden inside of it. The class bell rang, he quietly grabbed a spare book and made his way back towards the last class of the day. He entered the class, immediately making eye contact with Soojin, she smiled at him while taking the book from his hand. She turned her head to look in your direction where you were happily laughing with your seatmate then back towards Sunghoon. "I want you to keep this between us," she looked at him expectantly, Sunghoon nodded before making his way towards his seat.

His mind was racing with countless scenarios, his foot tapping against the floor repeatedly. He was silent during the lecture but couldn't focus at all. His mind racing with thoughts. His eyes trailed towards you trying to keep up with the teacher's words and notes you were writing. Then they swayed towards Soojin who sat straight in her seat. If it wasn't Sunghoon, anyone else would think she was laser focused on the class.

While you were talking with your seatmate, Sunghoon made his way towards Soojin. "How are you planning on discussing things with me when you know I walk with her home?" Soojin smiled, turning towards you to realize you were already looking at her. She waved her hand towards you urging you to hurry up then turned back towards Sunghoon. "She needs to help her mom with something, she'll go first. I don't want her to feel isolated, I would have chosen another day if that wasn't the case." Sunghoon nodded his head, and then you joined them.

Sunghoon shook his head as he watched you hurriedly run to go home, "she dropped her blazer." Soojin dusted the dirt from your blazer, Sunghoon took it, folding it neatly. "What are you doing?" He just smiled at her confused gaze, "taking it with me to return it." Soojin gulped, taking the blazer from his hand and placing it beside their belongings. "Let's take a walk?"

Sunghoon didn't urge her to talk, he let her set the pace. He knew she was much more anxious than he'll ever be so she let her lead the discussion. They talked for a bit, about everything and nothing, for a moment it felt good, normal even, like it was just another day and this was just another conversation amongst the countless ones. Mid-laugh, Soojin stepped forward blocking his path, Sunghoon gulped, raising his eyebrows to let her know she had his attention.

She took a deep breath, "did you....open the box?" Sunghoon shook his head no, she smiled, thanking him for listening to her. "You alright? Is anyone bothering you?" He needed to know, the nervousness of her face making his thoughts spiral more. She laughed assuring him everything is normal before she stepped closer, taking one of his hands in hers. "Your presence has always given me a sense of security, especially after what I did, you both must have been too worried about me and I'm thankful that both of you are still by my side."

"That's what friends are for! I'm always here for you." Sunghoon smiled back, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "Right...friends," Soojin huffed a small breath before locking eyes with him again, "I'll be direct with you since I know I can share anything with you without the fear of any judgement okay?" Sunghoon nodded, the grip of his hand tightening a bit around hers as she continued, "I like you," she stopped a bit to watch his expressions but decided to continue before he could say anything, "I think I've liked you for a while now, but ever since that night when I made an attempt at taking my-...and you've been by my side taking care of me, I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let these feelings sit in my heart, that's why I'm saying it to you. I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more."

'I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more.' Those words echoed in his ears as he looked at her. He never left her hand, he didn't even know how to react. He gulped as he watched her step closer, her other hand grabbing his necktie to pull him closer. He closed his eyes on instinct more than approval, how would she react if he pulled back? Will she fall into depression? Will she feel humiliated? Embarrassed?

Soojin is a kind girl, dating her wouldn't be that bad, especially if his presence means so much to her, he cares about her more than anything. He surely would fall in love too. He just felt terrified for intentionally or unintentionally hurting her. His hand trembled when he cupped her cheek, Soojin inhaled sharply.

His first kiss, he should be grateful it will be with someone he trusts, someone he cared for. Their noses touched, he felt her breath on his lips. He tilted her head to the side, he was sure his heart would jump out of his ribs. His thumb traced her jawline slowly before it stopped right at her lips, a shift in the position and his lips touched her forehead instead. He pulled back, chest heaving heavily like he had run a marathon, "I-....Soojin?" He looked at her, confused.

Soojin laughed, pushing him away from her lightly with the same hand she clutched his necktie a few minutes ago, "I just wanted to try my luck I guess." Sunghoon opened his mouth to say something, anything really, Soojin's eyes were filled with tears as she awkwardly stepped back, looking around the place to ease the tension. "Why would you try to kiss me when you don't even like me romantically?" Her question caught him off guard, isn't that what she wanted?

"I....just. I don't want to hurt you Soojin, I just want you to feel loved and cared for." Soojin shook her head, grabbed his blazer with both of her hands and shook him slightly, "so you were ready to be with me just to make me happy? What about you?" He avoided her eyes, he placed his hands on her, lightly but firmly. "I thought it will be fine, I care for you,"

"No, you just pity me," Her voice cracked, "you just pity me because I tried to take my own life, I know I've things to deal with, but don't pity me, I can handle rejection but I don't want people around me to walk on eggshells." Sunghoon pulled her into his arms, "I like you, maybe not in a way you want; does that mean I'll leave your side? No. I'm staying with you, right by your side. I'll still be just one call, one message away. Nothing has to change."

"You promise?" He wiped the tears flowing from her eyes, smiling softly at her, "you'll always be my priority Soojin. I may not be your boyfriend but I'll be the best friend you ever need."

Weekend rolled over faster than you imagined, Sunghoon's belongings were roughly scattered all around your living room. Jake and Jay were currently sprawled upon the couch, eyes closed. Heeseung and Sunghoon were still unpacking things and placing them in the places you pointed out. By evening, most of the things were unpacked and Sunghoon finally let his former roommates free. They bid their goodbyes with Jake dramatically clinging onto Sunghoon, crying about missing his roommate. You let the fact that they lived 5 minutes drive away from you go for now.

You helped Sunghoon with the rest of the things, he vacuumed the floor and you mopped it after. Only a few words were exchanged between you, your playlist occupying most of the silence. "Shall we eat out? It's too late and I'm very hungry," Sunghoon agreed with you before going to shower. You waited till he was done to go shower. Your clothes feel sticky with all the moving and cleaning you did.

You grabbed the food, deciding it would be better to just eat in the car. "You're very quiet today. It's threatening." You glared at him, though you never stopped eating your sandwich. "Don't speak with your mouth full," You retorted after swallowing your food. He stuck his tongue at you, opening the cap of your drink before passing it to you. "It looks like it will rain soon." The sky was filled with dark clouds, harsh wind making you shiver. Sunghoon closed the windows before even a single drop of water could touch your skin.

The rain came down heavy, angry as it drummed against the car's roof. The windshield blocked your view immediately due to the sheer amount of raindrops. The trees swayed relentlessly, signs blurring, people running to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. From inside the car the rainstorm seemed loud, distant even. The air went dense, thick with the scent of earth, the soft hum of the engine grounding you to the moment. Then the thunderstorm struck and you involuntarily shuddered, it wasn't like you were scared of lightning but because you've been extra sensitive to everything lately.

Sunghoon removed his jacket and placed it on your shoulder engulfing you in his scent, "wanna go back?" You shook your head no, wearing his jacket properly. "It's dangerous to drive in this weather....let's just stay here till the rain calms down." Sunghoon wordlessly agreed, raising the temperature of AC up. Soft music filled your ears as you leaned back on the seat. It looked like you'll be stuck here for a while.

Sunghoon hummed along with the song while waiting for the rain to calm down. You peered at him from your spot, he looked at you from the rearview mirror, your eyes trailed from his thick eyebrows, to his lashes, then to the moles adorning his face, to the slope of his nose, and those plush lips. You gulped, forcing yourself to look away before he caught you. You sighed softly, the rain showed no signs of stopping, neither did your thoughts.

"How do you cope when you're left with your thoughts for too long?" You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, eyes still focused on the way rain dropped on the window and slid down, "I mean, it must've been hard for you after Soojin left." He took a moment to let your words sink in, trying to understand them fully before responding. "I let those thoughts consume me, I don't run away, ignoring will only delay the pain."

You exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, "you can talk to me if things get too hard you know. I'll be there for you." He looked at you wondering why you were saying all those things now, "It must have been hard for you too right? I'm not the only one who lost her."

"Hmm...it's different for me and for you though....you two shared a much different bond than the one you two shared with me," the words left your lips before your brain could comprehend. Your eyes widened as your eyes met Sunghoon's confused ones. "What are you saying?" You scoffed, breaking eye contact, avoiding his scrutinizing eyes. "I saw you two that day....I walked back to school since I dropped my blazer." You didn't need to say anything further to clarify what day you were referring to. His eyes widened, mouth opening and closing, you continued, "I thought at least one of you would say something, anything to me but neither of you did."

You fiddled with your hands, unable to look at him, unable to keep your emotions in check. You had suppressed everything you felt in your heart for Soojin's sake, for years at that. Soojin's absence brought more turmoil inside you rather than ease it. You wanted, no, needed answers. Not for you, maybe a little for you but more for Sunghoon, you didn't want him to hurt alone. You could at least be there for him when you couldn't for Soojin. Maybe that's how you wanted to bring peace to your heart. If he wasn't going to open up to you, how were you going to help him with it?

"I-...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel neglected, I thought Soojin would prefer things that way so I just went along with her and never told you." You played with the hem of his jacket. "So you just were never going to tell me if I didn't ask?" He shook his head, his hand making its way to hold yours. "Why does that thing matter though?"

"Why? It doesn't?" You released your hand from his hold, you decided to ignore his pained expression, "You did not think it was that important? Is that why you were so casual the next day? Because it didn't matter?" Sunghoon scoffed, not understanding where the conversation was heading. "If you saw us, why didn't you question us the next day? You always did that before!"

That pissed you off, "You wanted me to just barge in and ask you both, 'oh hey! I saw you both kissing and left, mind telling me if you're officially together or not' is that how you expected me to behave?" Your hands were flying everywhere as you spoke and Sunghoon just got more and more confused with each word spilling from your lips. And he knows he's stupid, Jake had countless times reminded him of that fact, but he couldn't help the way his eyes were more focused on your lips in that moment than anything else.

"Wait, we aren't-"

"I don't even want to discuss this, you're just pissing me off more, let's stop talking about this." Now it was his turn to get pissed, "Let me explain at least," your sharp glare shut him off quickly, "okay, whatever." Now not only was the atmosphere gloomy but so was the mood inside the car. The rain stopped and you sighed in relief, at least you could go back to your apartment and create some distance between you two. If this was how your first night ended after becoming roommates, you could only imagine the rest of the days.

You got off the car as soon as he parked the car, Sunghoon following suit. You fumbled with your keys trying to get it in, he gently grabbed them from your hand and easily opened the door in one go, now that just pissed you off more. You removed the shoes, stomping inside your room. Sunghoon just laughed to himself, "what a brat." He made his way inside his room, the former guest room planning on having a talk with you tomorrow after you've calmed down.

You threw your body on your bed, groaning at the way your body aches after helping Sunghoon move his things. He was so sweet when he asked if he could move in with you, and now he's behaving like that. You questioned why you have feelings for him in- "Why am I questioning? I don't have feelings for him." you decided you need a little sleep and peace for your mind to function properly again.

You were cozy, the weather outside was cool, wind was still blowing, the smell of earth after rain filling the air, your soft bed with your softest blanket draped around your body. You were in dreamland. You knew the sleep would be different after all that labour you did today, but that's not how that works right? You were thirsty, your throat screamed for your mercy, you searched for the glass of water on your nightstand only to realize you didn't refill it. You smashed your head against the pillow and screamed into it, then you made your way towards the kitchen to drink some water.

You flicked the kitchen light on, lazily drinking water when a loud thunderstorm echoed and you were surrounded by darkness. The yell that escaped your throat was intended to be in your imagination but Sunghoon heard it clearly, which made him frantically get up from his bed mid-sleep, and fall down. He got up, hurriedly making his way towards where your voice came from. By this time, the small light from the hallway window was the only thing illuminating the apartment.

He made his way towards the kitchen, still a bit hazy from waking up abruptly. He called out your name, "I'm here," he followed your voice. You were sitting on the floor at the corner of the kitchen. Your hand grabbed his as soon as you saw his silhouette near you. He freaked out a little when you grabbed his hand, but he wasn't going to let you know that.

"Hey, I'm here for you okay? Don't be scared." He sat beside you, wrapping his hand around your shoulder. He could feel your body slightly trembling, he pulled you closer, wrapping his other hand around you too, caging you in his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his waist to ground yourself. You have always feared darkness with burning passion. Normally you would always have your phone with you or near you to get through it.

Sunghoon drew out a long breath, his heart picking up speed at close proximity. Sure he has slept beside you, even hugged you countless of times but this felt more intimate, more vulnerable, more exposed. "You're still trembling," He pulled away from you in order to check on you but you grabbed his shirt in your hands, not letting go. Another lightening struck and you flinched, his hands grabbed your waist, pulling you up and onto his lap like you weighed nothing.

A loud gasp escaped your lips, he moved you till you were straddling his lap. His hands guided yours around his neck before his own made their way around your waist. He closed the distance between you in one push. His head found home in your neck, his arms tightening around you. A whimper left your lips as you hugged him. He rubbed your back, mumbling sweet nothings in your hair to help ease your nerves. You pulled back slightly, now that your vision had adjusted, you could see his silhouette though it was still very dark. You still hand your arms wrapped around him loosely and his grip shifted on your sides now. His thumbs draw circles around the area.

"We never kissed," His voice was more clear than the sky in the night's silence, "Soojin confessed to me that day, I got scared that she would get depressed if I rejected, I was afraid to be the reason for her next attempt, so I just went along with it. I thought maybe she'd be better if I said yes, but when I tried to kiss her she pulled back."

He continued, "I never told you anything because I didn't want Soojin to feel humiliated, she never discussed it with me either. Although I did not reciprocate, I still felt the need to be there for her more because she told me she felt safer with me around."

"I always thought you both had feelings for each other but were just toying around."

"Why would we be toying around if the feelings were mutual?"

"How would I know that?"

"God really said, 'no thoughts just vibes' with you," You slapped his shoulder as you leaned back a bit more. "What about that gift box?" You questioned, "exactly how many things you know about, trouble?" You groaned loudly before slamming your head against his shoulder. "I saw it on Jay's birthday when I picked up your hoodie from the floor, you aren't good at hiding."

"So the blame is on me?"

"Yes, of course. Who else?"

Living with Sunghoon was more peaceful than you initially thought. It has been months since the incident but nothing really changed, except now you had a companion to stay with. You couldn't really point but after Sunghoon's clarification days of turmoil finally stilled inside your mind, you realized how heavy your thoughts had been before that.

"Ready for college?" You peeked from the kitchen to see Sunghoon already near the door wearing his shoes. You gave him an okay sign, a half eaten bread in your mouth, he chuckled at your state urging you to hurry up. You finished your routine, locking the door behind and made your way out of your apartment complex. "We're driving today?"

"Jake wanted to go out after finishing classes." You entered the car, already feeling excited to spend some time with them. It had been a while, in between classes, assignments and everything, you only met each other in the university briefly. You missed spending time with them. "I missed them."

"Yeah, I can see it on your face." Sunghoon chuckled, reaching out to help you with the seatbelt. Your breath hitched at the close proximity and he just smirked, having the time of his life teasing you. He pulled back, not before throwing a wink at you, and you pulled his ear in response. You adjusted yourself in your seat as Sunghoon began driving.

"Jake, my baby!" The moment you spotted Jake a wide smile spread across your face, and before you could think your feet were already moving. You broke into a run, heart pounding with joy. When you finally reached him, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. He hugged you back, his arms tightening around your waist as he lifted you up and spun you around. Jay made a face when you pulled away from Jake, "You act like you didn't just meet yesterday,"

"Don't sulk, I missed you too." You threw yourself on him, although he put up a bit of a fight, he hugged you back nonetheless, "it feels good to see you smile like this again." Heeseung pushed Jay aside before engulfing you in his arms. "Missed you so much, can't handle these two without you, I was crashing out so bad." Sunghoon joined as soon as Heeseung let go of you, "Shall we head inside?"

All five of you made your way inside the arcade, you stood back letting the boys have their moment together, they rarely spend time together like before since Sunghoon moved in with you. Jake noticed your absence before anyone else did, making his way towards you he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards dance machines where Heeseung was currently standing, you stood beside him. He gave you a smirk before starting the game, you smirked back challenging him. What started as friendly competition, turned into you, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon rolling on the floor laughing as Heeseung slipped and fell.

"You okay?" You extended your hand to help him, he glared at you half angry half smiling as he held your hand. "You aren't hurt right?" He shook his head no, before holding Jake on a chokehold since he couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the day was filled with laughter, with conversations and gossip you missed having with them. For a moment, as you looked at them animatedly talking, pushing each other in annoyance everything felt normal.

For a moment you felt at ease, when Jake whispered something funny in your ear you turned to your other side, almost instinctively, to tell Soojin about it, then you stopped when realization hit you. This wasn't the first time it was happening, and you're sure this wasn't surely the last. All of you were still trying to adjust to life without one member of your little friend group.

Heeseung, Jay and Jake occasionally visited Soojin's parents if they happened to be near your hometown. Her mother once expressed her gratitude towards the boys' presence to you. You were happy that none of you were erasing her from your life, she was still present with you all. Especially in small moments like this when any one of you suddenly remembered her. She wasn't physically there with you, but you made sure she'll be with you in your memories.

Sunghoon nudged your shoulder with his, noticing that you were in your head again. He raised his eyebrows and you smiled, shaking your head as you ate your food, joining the conversation back. Sunghoon leaned back, his hand sliding across the back of your chair. You shot him a suspicious glance, he just shrugged. The night continued and soon Jay, Jake and Heeseung left.

The weather started getting cool again, you had your jacket with you this time, Sunghoon bought it knowing you forget easily, he was starting to get suspicious that you were doing this on purpose. "You zoned out again, you're doing that more these days." You gave him a look, "I'm trying my level best with everything, leave me alone." He just shrugged, draping his hand on your shoulder and pulling you flush against his body. You yelped but slid your hand against his waist anyway. You both decided to walk for sometime before heading back, the weather was too good to stay inside.

"You know," He started, you looked at him but his eyes were trained straight ahead, "there are times when I don't know what to do with the time I have in my hand, I don't need to have my phone close to me incase something would happen, I got so used to doting around Soojin that I don't know what I should do now. I moved in with you, so now even if I'm worried about you I can just solve your worries in person, I almost feel empty." He was looking at you now, his smile soft but still strained.

"I get it, but maybe it's time for us to honor her wishes rather than feeling guilty about it. You remember what she wrote in the letter right?" Sunghoon sighed, coming to a stop when he could see the city's skyline. You gave him the letter addressed to both of you after a few days of living with him. You stood beside him, recalling the things Soojin wrote for you. You may have known her your whole life, but you realized you failed to understand the roots of her struggles while trying your best to help her cope.

'I felt like an obstacle in your life, I wanted you both to focus on your own life more. I wanted to just feel normal with you. I couldn't bear watching you guys miss important milestones in your life in order to help me with my own, I felt like I was using you. I love and appreciate both of you, please live your life without any burden. Live your life the way you were supposed to, not focused on me, but on yourself. You'll both do that for me right?'

"Wanna go back?" You asked as you turned around to go back towards your car when you felt his hand grasping yours and pulling back. Your feet stumbled and you collided against him. You looked up meeting his gaze, the cold air sending a chill down your spine. His gaze darkened, his other hand sneaking around your waist to hold you properly.

"Aren't you a little too impatient?" He tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning close till your noses touched. Your breath hitched, one hand still in his hold and other clutching his jacket tightly. You felt his hand slip off your waist but neither of you made any attempt at pulling away. He held you in place with his gaze, the hand holding yours drawing small circles around your wrist. Your pulse was so erratic you were afraid he could feel it.

He raised his hand, his fingers lingered on your cheek, the softness his eyes held made your heart flutter. You tilted your head, and your eyes fluttered close. He looked at you for a moment, not too long because he was losing his control too. His lips met yours, the touch gentle, cautious like he was giving you a gateway to pull back if you wanted to. You sighed against his lips, your hand found its way towards his collar, pulling him closer. Something shifted inside him at your actions, his movements a little clumsy, he pulled you closer deepening the kiss.

The sheer pressure of his actions drew out a surprised gasp from you. You hand tightly holding his shoulders to ground yourself. He caught you just in time, without breaking the kiss. His lips parted, tongue sliding across your bottom lip, you parted your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth like he waited all his life just for this moment. You didn't feel the shift in your positions till your back hit the railings of the sidewalk you were standing at.

His hands cradled your face, you pulled away just enough to breathe, forehead touching, trembling and breathless, as if breathing was just another interruption. He didn't stop, pecking your lips once, twice and once again just because. His lips found their way towards your forehead, then your eyes, nose, cheeks and they were back again on your lips. The kiss this time was slow, the urgency was still present, but it was masked with something softer.

The distant traffic sound made you well aware of your surroundings. You pushed him away gently, your hand trembling against his chest. You looked at his state, chest heaving, hair disheveled, corner of his lips stained with your lipstick. A soft laugh escaped your lips, you hand raising to remove the lipstick stain from his lips, he leaned against your touch, his actions pulling at your heart, that's when you noticed.

You blinked, unsure if you were imagining things, you bought your hand closer. You froze, your fingers brushing against the cold metal you were sure wasn't there before. Your eyes widened when you recognized the bracelet which was neatly placed around your wrist, the one you saw in Sunghoon's room at Jay's party. "When did it get here? Is this for me?"

Sunghoon just smiled at you, locking you in between his arms and railing. "Hmm, for you, and about how it got there, I have my ways," he smirked, one of his hands tracing your lips. He placed the bracelet on your hand when he pushed you against the railing in the middle of kiss, the realization making heat crawl up your face. Sunghoon's lips find yours again, almost as if it's the only place that brings him solace. Your fingers grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. You don't remember how much time you spent just kissing each other, you've lost track of it far ago anyway.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips, pushing his body closer to yours if it was even possible. For a minute you forgot how to breathe. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I regret not having you like this before. Soojin was right, should've made the move years ago."

You pulled back, "Soojin knew about it?" He just smiled, kissing your cheek before continuing, "Well, Soojin knew about my feelings way before I did, it's kind of ironic if you think about it, something about the way I look at you when you're not noticing. She bought this bracelet for you, she wanted me to give it to you when I finally act on my feelings so here we are."

You held the bracelet closer, "is this her way of giving blessing to us?" Tears welled up in your eyes as a choked sob escaped your throat. She knew Sunghoon had feelings for you, she knew you had feelings for him, and she was trying her best to not be in the middle of it. You always thought you were the one getting isolated when in reality, it was Soojin trying her best to not get in the middle of both of you. Sunghoon wiped the tears that escaped your eyes, his own vision getting blurry. "I couldn't bring myself to confess when I knew she had feelings for me too."

"And that is the exact reason she was so fed up with us Sunghoon." His head hung low, in the process of trying to protect your best friend you both completely disregarded her need to blend in. Yours, Sunghoon's, her parent's life circled around her to the point she felt suffocated, maybe she felt guilty for unintentionally being the reason people around her neglected their own needs.

You cupped his face, kissing his eyes. You pulled him in your arms, inhaling his scent. "I love you too, more than anything." His arms tightened around your waist and you stayed like that for a while basking in each other's embrace. You both made your way back to the car to go to your apartment, one of his hands grabbing your thigh and occasionally squeezing it. Both of you were still riding on the high of your newfound confessions. None of you could keep your hands off of each other but decided to take things slowly. You had plenty of time together anyway.

You were ready to call it a night, freshly changed into your pajamas when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Sunghoon was leaning against the doorframe, in his hand he carried a red box. You looked at him curiously, a silent question flickering behind your eyes. He just shrugged and placed the box in your lap and sat before you.

"The black box is the one Soojin gave me when she confessed, when I went home and opened it, the box was filled with different keychains and charms and polaroids of us," He explained as you opened the box then he continued, "there were polaroids of me, you, hers, of both of us, of me and Soojin." You nodded at him as your eyebrows furrowed looking at the contents of the box.

You looked at him and he just scratched the back of his neck smiling sheepishly, "I separated the polaroids which had you and me, and even your candids in my bag and Soojin saw them one day. She just laughed and told me to get another box to keep the things so I won't embarrass myself like that in front of you." You laughed at his words and he gave you a look which said, 'this-is-the-reason-I-wasn't-telling-you-about-things-before.'

The box was filled with the polaroids of you, of you and him together, the locket which you once left in his house, the greeting card you gave him on his 12th birthday, your drawings which you thought you threw away in trash bins. You laughed at yourself, so this was the reason why the black box was filled with polaroids of Soojin and Sunghoon only. You put them back, closing the box and putting it inside the drawer of your nightstand.

"If I had been a little bit more curious that day, I would've found you had a huge crush on me on Jay's birthday," You sighed dramatically, plopping yourself back onto your bed. Sunghoon lightly slapped your knees before making his way upwards, his arms placed on either side of your head as he hovered above you, caging you with his body. "You're such a menace," he grumbled, putting all of his weight on you, as he trailed kisses down your neck.

You sighed softly, his hands roaming all around your body. His mouth is working on your neck, sucking, biting, licking. You were sure your neck would be adorned with love marks after he was done with you. You ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand sliding across his shoulder as you both drifted off to sleep.

You don't think you'll ever forget what Soojin did in order for you to be here at this moment. Soojin was an integral part of both of your lives and she'll continue to play that part forever. She will always remain the link which joined you and Sunghoon together. You know she's still with you, maybe not how she used to be.

But now her presence lingers when morning sunlight makes you groans, it lingers when Sunghoon makes home cooked meals for you, when Jake wraps his scarf around your neck when you forget it yet again, when Heeseung ruffles your hair and constantly reminds you to eat during exam season, in a way Jay asks you to help him make flashcards for his study materials.

She never left, she just divided her love for you in four equal parts. And if you ever were left alone with your thoughts for too long, she lingered as the bracelet wrapped around your wrist to remind you she is still with you. You know she'll always be there for you and Sunghoon.

[mister0ctopus]

Server Room (4)

series - jeon jungkook

Pairings: IT!JK x Reader

Summary:  Your new IT guy is quiet and shy. But when you accidentally caught him doing something in the server room, while moaning your name, you just had to pretend you didn’t see that, right?

Ratings: 18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Warnings: Explicit language, Mature Contents

Au/Genre: Office au, Mini Series

Word Count: 4.4K

a/n: sorry for the delay, ive been feeling meh these past few weeks. i couldnt do anything, but i got out of the house yesterday and it was great 😌

🐙 Masterlist / AskMe?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6

“We haven’t seen you in a while!"

Taehyung announces, his full voice cutting through your frantic typing. “This project is keeping you from us,”

You swivel in your chair, blinking as you return to the real world, and you see Taehyung pouting and Jimin, holding out a cup of coffee like an angel of mercy.

"Your boss is always giving you hard projects with tight deadlines!" Jimin states, as he hands you the coffee his irritation seeping through the smile.

“Thanks,” you mouthed. One sip of the caffeine reminded you  that you’d been glued to this chair since morning with no breaks. Your legs probably forgot how to walk.

"Yeah, that’s what I’ve been saying! She’s either obsessed with you or trying to kill you," Taehyung chimes in, crossing his arms. “Or both. She doesn’t do this to anyone else on your team. Tell me this is your villain arc.”

You sigh as you stretch your back. "I’m the only senior left in the team, okay? After Mr. Tan resigned, all his VIP clients became mine. I don’t really have a choice."

"You need a break," Taehyung declared. "Let’s try that new place across the street for lunch. Jungkook says they serve the best Mexican food."

Ah, Jungkook.

The name pulls at something in your chest. You cleared your throat.

"Since when are you into Mexican food? You don't like spicy.”

He grins, unbothered. "I can skip the hot sauce. But Jungkook says it’s legit, and he doesn’t lie about food."

"Seems like you’re becoming besties with him," you say, keeping your voice casual.

"Oh, he’s great! Always chill, fun to be around. Knows all the best spots for food!” He turns to Jimin for validation, and they high-five.

"I think I’ll pass," you said, taking a sip of the coffee. "I really need to finish this today. You guys go and let me know if it’s worth the hype."

Jimin frowns, his eye smile turning into a pout. "You sure? You’ve been working non-stop. It’s not healthy, YN. Take a break!"

You glance at the screen, the cursor blinking like it’s mocking you.

"I promise,” you replied, your voice softer. “I will," knowing full well that you wouldn’t.

You decided to take your lunch later than everyone else, choosing the quiet solitude of the office cafeteria at off-peak hours. Ordering something light, you sat in a corner, hoping to catch a moment of peace.

But peace? Lol.

Staring blankly at your mug, you tried to turn your brain off, but the week’s events replayed on a loop—meetings, deadlines, late nights. And, of course, the project. Your golden ticket to the promotion you’d been breaking your back for.

You were halfway through your sandwich when muffled giggles from the table next to you pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. Curiosity got the better of you, and you glanced over, only to see a group of girls from HR, eyes sparkling with admiration. Following their line of sight, you landed on him.

Jungkook.

Effortlessly charming as usual, chatting with a girl from Marketing. His raven hair styled to show his forehead. His smile was so easy and disarming it could probably convince a cat to take a bath.

Fuck. Why was he getting hotter?

You hadn’t seen him since the night he dropped you off a few days ago, your entire interaction limited to his car radio and your yawns. You’d been so exhausted you didn’t even have time to process his stupidly perfect profile in the dim glow of his dashboard, and his glances here and there.

The girl laughed, leaning in closer, completely captivated.

Yeah, girl. I get it.

You got it. Of course, Jungkook wasn’t just attractive, he had that rare ability to make everyone around him feel seen, like they mattered.

He had helped you many times, and you couldn’t deny that he made you feel important.

You rolled your eyes, biting back a scoff. "Lunch with my friends, now wooing the entire company.”

Of course, because the universe has a sense of humor, his gaze flicked in your direction.

Caught!

You panicked and snapped your attention back to your table, hyper-focusing on the crumbs scattered across your plate.

Back to work, you reminded yourself. Stop dilly-dallying. Deadlines don’t meet themselves.

Without sparing another glance, you stood, your chair scraping lightly against the tile floor. With purposeful steps, you left the cafeteria, your focus already shifting back to the mountain of tasks waiting at your desk.

Hours later, your phone buzzed, pulling you out of the depths of your typing. The buzzing continued, and when it started to feel too annoying, you finally checked to see what all the fuss was about.

You had been added to a group chat: CABIN IN THE LAKE.

Oh, right! The annual cabin trip. That chaotic tradition where you and the group rent the same cozy Airbnb cabin, always timed perfectly for a three-day weekend, thanks to the holiday on Monday.

It started as Jimin and Taehyung’s tradition. Best friends since college, they used to rally their old friend group for Tae’s birthday back when no one was married, living abroad, or caught up in other life changes. But life stole their original squad, leaving just the two of them clinging to their precious tradition.

Enter: the work friends.

First, there was Yoongi. No one knew how Jimin and Taehyung managed to convince him to join. He initially declined, calling it a hassle, but then showed up ridiculously early on the day they were set to leave. Next came Allie, the organizational queen who meticulously planned everything down to the last detail on Excel sheets. And finally, there was you—the corporate masochist roped in because, apparently, you 'needed a break.' They weren’t wrong, of course.

Now, three years later, it had become your thing.

Allie: 📢 Attention: Our annual cabin escape kicks off this weekend. Prepare yourselves, pack early, and leave the burdens of work behind. NO work allowed at the cabin. @ YN, I’m talking to you. 👀 Jimin: If I see a laptop in there, I will literally throw it outside. Tae: no work on my birthday event please thank you! @ YN I’m talking to you 👀 Allie: @ YN, don’t ignore us! You: Calm down, lol. I’m literally finishing everything this week so I can relax with you all Jimin: finally, work-life balance 😀 You: 🙄 im trying my best to work-life-balance the shit out of this Tae: we invited Jungkook during lunch fyi Jungkook: yeaaahhhh👍 Allie: lets talk tomorrow what food to prepare when youre back from your vacation @ Yoongi Yoongi: 👍 Tae: I wish I had so many paid leaves that I could go on a trip after a fishing trip like Yoongi. Jimin: then stop using your PTOs for stupid shit! Yoongi: seen

The phone buzzed relentlessly with notifications. Jimin rambling about work-life balance, Tae hyping Jungkook up for the trip, and Allie sending yet another reminder about what to pack. You muted the chat and let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

Cabin. Lake. Jungkook.

Before you could overthink spending a weekend with him outside of work, you put your attention back to your computer screen, pouring all your tension into the project.

The next day, as expected, you nailed the presentation. Of course, you did. Your boss was full of praise, and the VIP clients were very impressed with the discussion. Sometimes you wondered why you stressed so much, but deep down, you knew the answer. Being good wasn’t enough, you had to be great.

Your sense of self-worth was deeply tied to your accomplishments at work. Sad, but whatever.

You walked into the pantry after the presentation, on your way to another client meeting, when you see your friends, all huddled around.

Yoongi’s fresh off vacation, laughing with Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook. The energy in the room was light, the kind that made you want to linger, but…work. Ugh.

“Didn’t catch a thing!” Yoongi chuckled, shaking his head.

“So why do you always go fishing with him?” Jimin asked, barely holding back a laugh.

“Eh, I didn’t want him to be alone,” Yoongi shrugged, crossing his arms. “Also, someone had to be there for his dad jokes.”

Jungkook groaned. “Man, I miss Jin’s dad jokes. They’re so awful, but it grew on me.”

“You say that now,” Yoongi said dryly, “but after two straight hours of ‘What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh,’ I was ready to jump in the lake myself.”

The group burst into laughter, and you found yourself laughing too. They spotted you lingering in the doorway.

“YN! Join us!” Yoongi called, waving you over.

You shook your head, holding up a hand. “I’m literally just passing by. I have a client meeting in like… right now.”

Jimin and Tae both dramatically groaned.

But before you left, you walked over to Yoongi and gave him a quick hug. “Missed you, though. Tell me more about your fishing trip later.”

“You know where to find me,” Yoongi replied with a smirk. “But it was mostly Jin and I sitting on a boat.”

“Sounds riveting,” you teased, waving everyone goodbye as the laughter resumed behind you.

You caught Jungkook’s gaze lingering on you, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it.

The week went by fast, and everyone seemed excited, looking forward to the weekend trip.

After a three-hour drive in the early Saturday morning, you finally arrived at the cabin. The scent of firewood and cedar greeted you like a familiar friend.

The cabin was a perfect blend of modern and rustic charm. It ss a two story retreat with three cozy bedrooms, a spacious kitchen, and an inviting living room. Large windows shows off the breathtaking views of the lake, letting in an abundance of natural light that made the space feel even more open, serene.

The crisp air nipped at your cheeks, but the way the sun glinted off the lake beyond the porch made the chill comfortable.

Slowly, you could feel the tension from work beginning to melt away. This was exactly what you needed.

Everyone naturally fell into their roles without a single word exchanged. Allie and Yoongi immediately took over the kitchen, playing MasterChef, while Jimin and Taehyung turned the living room into an entertainment hub. As for you? Well, you were graciously tasked with giving Jungkook the grand tour—not that you minded… at all.

He trailed behind you, nodding intently as you showed him around. You almost sneered at his attentiveness, the way his eyes widened as if you were explaining something groundbreaking.

So, this is Yoongi’s room,” you said, stopping at the first door by the stairs. “You’ll be sharing with him.” You pushed the door open, staying just outside the hallway, revealing two double-sized beds and a massive window with a stunning view of the lake. Jungkook stepped inside, dropping both his and Yoongi’s bags with a quiet thud.

He scanned the room, his gaze lingering on the view before shifting to the door across the hallway. Before he could ask, you preemptively pointed. “That’s Jimin’s and Tae’s room, and here,” you gestured to the door beside his, “that’s mine and Allie’s. Yoongi insisted on not being next to Jimin and Tae. Gods know what they’re up to at night, they make weird noises.”

Jungkook grunted in acknowledgment, his lips twitching into a faint smirk.

“Oh, by the way, each room has its own bathroom. That’s honestly why we keep coming back here. Aside from the lake and other stuff, of course.” You laughed, your voice echoing slightly in the quiet hallway. Just as you were about to show him the balcony at the end of the hall, someone downstairs shouted your name. Probably Jimin or Tae yelling about the cottage.

“Ah, the cottage by the lake!” you exclaimed, snapping your fingers. “It’s a great spot to chill. Or stargaze. We usually take dinners there or nap. It’s kind of our favorite spot,” you added with a grin, gesturing downstairs.

Jungkook mirrored your excitement with his signature scrunched-nose smile. Before you knew it, Tae and Jimin had joined in, whisking Jungkook away to show him around the cottage and the lake. The three of them looked like overgrown kids finally let loose on a playground.

Back in the kitchen, you joined Yoongi and Allie to finish cooking—though, most of it was already done. You ended up as a taste-tester. By the time everything was ready, the three boys had returned, eager to help set the table.

Lunch was a mix of chaos and calm, the former courtesy of Jimin, Tae, and Allie, while Yoongi’s steady presence, and your quiet nature balanced it all out. Jungkook, as the newest addition to your group, fit in seamlessly. Though he was closest to Yoongi, his easygoing nature made him click with Jimin and Tae almost instantly, their shared humor evident in their playful banter.

By the afternoon, everyone was sprawled in the cottage by the lake.

The cottage was a cozy wooden structure with a slightly weathered exterior, which added to the charm. It is surrounded by large windows , always kept open to let in the fresh breeze and the gentle sound of waves at the lake shore. It was warm and inviting inside, with soft lighting, and a wraparound porch showing panoramic views of the lake.

You and Allie lay on a mat, scrolling through your phones and occasionally showing each other funny memes or cute animal videos. Yoongi was settled in a chair with a glass of whiskey, reading something through his phone with the occasional hum of approval.

The three boys decided to swim in the lake, and you immediately began muttering prayers under your breath, for what, you weren’t entirely sure.

Maybe for divine intervention to stop Jungkook from being so infuriatingly distracting, or perhaps for the strength to keep your jaw from hitting the floor every time he emerged from the water.

He was wearing a black compression shirt that clung to him perfectly, revealing his colorful inked arm here, the outline of a toned torso there, and let’s not even get started on those thighs, perfectly framed by his black basketball shorts. Every time he strolled over to grab a snack from the picnic basket near you, you pretended to be deeply invested in your phone, eyebrows furrowed like you were decoding quantum physics. Anything to mask the heat creeping up your neck and the very inappropriate thoughts threatening to invade your peace and relaxation.

By evening, you all decided to eat dinner in the cottage, the vibe now tinged with the warmth of alcohol and laughter. The moonlight perfectly cascaded over the lake, its silver glow reflecting off the water and illuminating the cottage like a serene painting. The soft glow of lamps inside added to the ambiance, making everything about the place perfect.

Everyone seemed louder now, the alcohol buzz turning the cozy cottage into a chaotic, laughter-filled arena. Tae and Jimin were wrestling on the floor, mimicking exaggerated WWE moves that made Allie’s contagious laugh echo throughout the space. Yoongi, now a little chatty and loud, had taken on the role of their coach, shouting absurd instructions.

“Chokehold, Tae! No, no, Jimin, counter with the sleeper hold!” Yoongi barked, his face uncharacteristically animated as if he was controlling two game characters.

You watched Jungkook laugh at their antics, his bunny teeth flashing as he swatted away Jimin and Tae’s attempts to drag him into their chaos. But when the two of them finally lunged at him, intent on overpowering him, Jungkook barely even flinched. With a fluid, almost effortless motion, he sent both of them sprawling back onto the couch like they weighed nothing more than throw pillows.

Jungkook is strong.

You don’t know what to do with this information.

It wasn’t the strength itself that caught you off guard, you knew Jungkook worked out, but watching him do it with such ease felt almost... dangerous. You wonder how those strong hands gripping your thighs, pinning you against the wall, as he pounds—nope. Nope.

Stop right there you horny bitch.

You gulped down the flavored beer in your hand, the cool liquid doing little to douse the heat crawling up your neck.

“Thirsty much?” Allie teased, nudging you with a smirk as she caught your flustered state.

“I—yeah,” you mumbled, your voice barely audible over the chaos.

Jungkook’s laugh broke through your spiraling thoughts again, and you stole a quick glance at him. Thankfully, he seemed blissfully unaware of the effect he had on you, just being his playful self, swatting Jimin away like an annoying fly.

You feel the heat building in your core becoming more and more unbearable. You press your legs to try to soothe the feeling but it’s clear that you need more. You need a cold splash of water on your face, or better yet, a shower.

Standing abruptly, you excuse yourself for a 'bathroom break.' Your friends barely glance up, offering quick nods before returning to the chaos around them.

Chaos.

This chaos is the perfect cover for Jungkook.

Ever since he met you, there hasn’t been a single day he hasn’t felt like he’s stuck in his own personal hell.

He’s been avoiding looking at you for far too long, for obvious reasons.

The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable. Now that he’s close to you and your friends, he’s doing everything to keep it together, to not let anyone, especially Yoongi, catch on. Yoongi’s too observant, and Jungkook’s painfully aware of that. He’s not ready to talk about whatever is going on with him. Or whatever it is he's feeling towards you.

But that moment in the Server Room? He feels a gnawing guilt in his gut, the worry that he made you uncomfortable. He hasn’t heard a word from you about it, though. Didn’t give any hint that something was off. You would’ve said something if you were uncomfortable, right?

You, with your cold, uptight air, focused only on deadlines. You wouldn’t let him get close if you weren’t okay with him. You’d cut him right away if he crossed a line, right?

Was he imagining you there? Maybe you didn’t actually see him. Maybe you weren't actually in the Server Room. He was probably hallucinating in desire. He’s not sure anymore.

But damn, you don’t make it easy.

Earlier, when you were lying on the mat with Ally, your shorts slipping up just enough to flash him a taste of your soft skin, he nearly choked on his drink.  And now, sitting across the cottage from you, your short dress riding up as you adjust your position, the soft glow of your skin under the dim light…

Fuck.

He wonders how your skin would feel beneath his hands… how it would feel if he buried himself in you.

Focusing on Jimin and Taehyung provides some distraction, though the temptation to steal another glance at you lingers like a ghost. Thankfully, no one seems sober enough to notice his wandering eyes, or the way his shorts have grown uncomfortably tight.

You, oblivious to the war raging in his head, excuse yourself with a quick smile at Allie before heading to the cabin.

Thank God.

Finally, Jungkook lets out a deep breath and forces himself to join the conversation.

But just as he thinks he’s getting a break, Yoongi’s voice cuts through. “Jungkook, can you grab the portable speaker I told you to bring?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it.” Jungkook stands up without a second thought, almost like it’s automatic when someone older asks, barely processing Yoongi’s other questions as he heads to the cabin.

You step into the bathroom, stripping your clothes as you go. Your damp panties are a clear evidence of your need, and you groan in frustration. With a shaky breath, you turn on the shower, hoping the cold water will wash away the tension building inside you. But as the droplets hit your skin, they do little to distinguish the fire within.

It hasn’t even been a day in this cabin, and Jungkook is already a problem.

Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you’ve been with anyone, or perhaps the close proximity is making you hyper aware of him. Maybe it’s the memory of him, lost in his own pleasure in the Server Room, fingers working his body while thoughts of you flickered through his mind. The image awakens something in you. Was it just one-time thing? What did he picture you to be while he touched himself?

You pull yourself out of your thoughts, allowing the shower to wash away your lingering filthy desires.

After the quick shower, you step out, wrapping yourself in a towel. But you’re still burning up.

Sighing in frustration, you sit on the bed and brush through your damp hair, but it's still too wet… so you pat it dry. As you glance into the mirror, your reflection catches your eye. The soft, golden light from the lamp casts a warm glow on your skin, drawing your attention, and for a moment you're entranced by your subtle radiance.

You trail your fingers over your arms, your collarbone, down to your chest. Your nipples harden under your touch, and you groan softly. The cabin is alive with distant laughter from the cottage, your friends blissfully oblivious to your desperation.

The craving intensifies, and without thinking, your hands drift lower, over your stomach, to your thighs. Your legs part instinctively, your fingers finding the slick heat between your folds. You press against your clit, your breath hitching at the electric shock that runs through your body.

You imagine Jungkook’s hands there instead. The way he would touch you, soft and rough. The way he would devour you, make you beg for more.

You picture him. His body, his hands, his mouth—all of it.

As your fingers slide inside, you bite your lip, your body shuddering with need. You pump in and out, the friction building, but it’s not enough. You groan in frustration, you need more.

You need something bigger, harder. You need him.

Your eyes lock onto the round brush on the side, its dark wooden handle glistening in the dim light. Something primal snaps within you. Without a second thought, you grab it, your fingers curling around the bristles as you lift it to your lips. The thick, rounded handle presses against your mouth, and you drag your tongue over it, coating it with your spit.

Your heart races as you slide the handle down your body. Lifting yourself off the bed just enough, you position it at your entrance, the anticipation making your thighs tremble. Slowly, deliberately, you lower yourself onto it, gasping as it stretches you open. Your eyes stay locked on the mirror, watching every inch of the handle disappear inside you.

The sight alone makes your body shiver in need, and soon you can’t hold back. Your hips move instinctively, a slow grind that quickly builds into something desperate. You ride it hard, fast, the rhythm of your movements echoing through the creaks in the room. Each thrust draws a whimper from your lips as your imagine Jungkook beneath you, his strong hands gripping your hips, his dark eyes blazing as you grind against him. The way he’d look at you, the way he would sound as he moans your name, needy and breathy, like how he did in the Server Room.

The creak of the bed grows louder, and in your mind, it’s because of him—pounding into you relentlessly, the headboard slamming against the wall, his deep groans mixing with your cries. How he’d ruin you completely, leaving no part of you untouched.

Your hand remains between your legs, circling and flicking your clit in time with the thrusts. The tension builds and builds, each movement pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

And when you finally let go, when your orgasm crashes over you, it’s intense—like a pressure valve bursting open. You cry out his name, repeating it as your body trembles, your vision blurring as you ride out the waves of pleasure.

The moment Jungkook opens the door to his room, right next to yours, his gaze immediately lands on the portable speaker that Yoongi had asked him for, resting casually on the table alongside his other things. He walks toward it absentmindedly, his mind spinning in circles, thoughts tangled and restless.

How could he speak to you alone without feeling like his throat is closing in, without that damn knot of nerves tightening in his chest?

For fuck's sake, he’s not some shy guy. Maybe reserved at first, but shy? No. Not anymore. So why the hell does it feel like your gaze alone could drop him to his knees? He will do whatever you tell him—crawl, bark, beg. Whatever you wanted. No hesita—

"Fuck, Jungkook..." A moan. So soft, so faint, it feels like his mind is playing tricks on him.

And then another moan, but this time incoherent, then a soft creak, followed by the rhythmic sound of a bed moving.

His body goes rigid, every nerve on high alert. You’re in there. Alone. What the hell is going on?

He moves toward the wall separating you from him, pressing his ear against it, desperate to hear more of you.

Another moan, louder this time, long and dripping with need.

His breath stutters, pulse hammering in his ears. The muscles in his jaw tighten, his cock twitching involuntarily. The sound of you—fuck. That’s how you sound? Beautiful. Perfect. Needy. And shit… you’re thinking of him? Fucking yourself, imagining him? He’s losing his mind.

His shorts feel suddenly painfully tight. His hands tremble, fumbling at his waistband, pulling the thing that’s aching to be freed out of both pants and boxers in one desperate motion.

The moans and soft whimpers continue and it’s too much. He grips his cock, the hard length throbbing in his hand as he starts to pump. His strokes grow frantic, desperate, matching the steady pulse of the bed as it rocks with your need.  His mind floods with images of you—your fucked out face, wet lips parted in pleasure, the way your body arches, shivering beneath him, trembling with each of his movements. He imagines your nails dragging down his back, marking him, claiming him as his own. The sound of his name on your lips again and again, each breath getting closer to his ear, your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper, tighter.

When you cry out his name again, he can’t take it anymore, he bursts. His release hits him hard, his body shuddering as he spills his hot white cum into his hand, and some of it staining the walls.

He stood frozen—breathless, trembling, overwhelmed by the weight of a realization.

You, an actress.

Behind the mask of ambition, beneath the cold exterior of reservation and control, lies a desperate, hidden need.

You had begged for it in silence.

He would make sure you screamed for it out loud.

taglist: @taekritimin123, @vantelover1306, @random-musingsss @likewtaf @jeonmaleficent @almatiarau, @kxthx-b, @lively-potter, @jk-190811, @ilovejungkook9999, @goldietigers294, @dreamyluna18, @va1-erie, @snow-strawberry, @lovieku, @daskewl @jksusawife @daskewl @pp0810 @cherryreadsfics @boyfriendtaekook @michuga @kchukes @ahgasegotarmy116 @michellekosmos @pitchblack0309

[strungnews]

Being in a polycule with Mark Grayson and Eve Wilkins is weird.

The two never really thought about it, hell, never really thought about anyone else romantically besides each other. They are quite literally, a power couple! But at the same time how could they fall in love with someone who they all got bad first impressions from?

(Fair warning I started rambling about this on the 22nd and ive been distracted with other content so it might be inaccurate and not up to date with the new upcoming eps! Sorry! 4k+ words oof)

When did you first meet?

Mark Grayson: First spotted at the convention, where you served as a temporary helping hand to one of your close friends who ran a free fix it portable station that helped aid costume malfunctions for cosplayers. You were a jack of all trades and a master of none. An average grade student, who participated as little and as much activities as one felt like, nothing really piquing your interest at any capacity to fully commit to it. Badminton, swim team, volleyball, chess, journalism, art, sewing. The talents and passion you had for it all were mediocre at best, but useful when the situation called for it.

Need an extra player in your team? You won't willingly volunteer, but if there was no other choice, so be it. Someone needing help on their swim technique? You've gotten more ear infections than you could count all because of swimming, several visits to the doctor and ear drops used. But an advice or two wouldn't hurt.

It just so happened you held a bit of liking to sewing, and with reluctance agreed to your friend's pleas of help for the upcoming convention day. You weren't really looking forward to helping around people who forgot to wear deodorant or were in desperate need of a shower, but he said you were splitting the tips by the end of the day. Money is money.

Mark would someyimes notice you here and there, carrying a huge clunky bag while assisting to anyone you could offer a hand to, but other than that, he said and did nothing else. He was more worried about the line for the Seance dog signing and Amber to properly pay attention. But couldn’t help gravitate towards you for some reason.

Though he does give credit where credit was due, between you and your close friend, you were a lot faster with the needle than he was. And you were only doing this for a day! But he didn't know that. Mark wouldn't lie, but he did find himself leaning over and away to look closer at your handy work whenever someone would happily walk away, almost catching his eye whenever you felt like you were being stared at more intensely than the individual you were fixing up.

His first ever person to person interaction was tainted by Mark getting distracted at the crowd of people dressed up as Invincible, before almost falling over himself and you. The supply of items you had just packed up all nice and neat now lay scattered all over the floor, going back to square one.

"Oh! Im so so sorry let me just-" "Thank you, but don't." You swat away his helping hand and turn your back to him. There he stands awkwardly, watching you silently pick up the pieces, his hand rubbing at his neck in guilt. The way you glared and spoke to him might as well had burned holes into his head till he had nothing resting atop his shoulders but charred remains.

You just ended up shoving everything back into place out of pure irritation before storming off, not sparing Mark a glance, not wanting to bother acknowledging him and getting angry for no reason.

He never noticed that you went to the same school as him before that whole interaction. All of a sudden it was like you were spawning everywhere he went, and you were non the wiser about it.

Whenever he'd walk with William and Amber, you'd be somewhere secluded with something to occupy yourself or just talking to that one guy you seemed close with. Even at the cafeteria, where you would be surrounded by people he had never seen you around with. Mostly tolerating their presence by the looks of it, only there because you were friends with one of them. Then you'd also started to hang out with Eve, which made him even more curious about you. Was Eve close with you? What was your relationship with her? Maybe he was getting a bit too nosy. Eve Wilkins: It was a lot harder to grab Eve's attention, even unintentionally. She's a busy gal, always handling this world crisis here and another there, she mostly has to focus time for herself and heroing than the people around her when she's just being Eve the student.

College wasn't all that hard for her, she was great at science and other subjects alike, a top student, Eve is.

But you weren't. In fact you were almost failing her favorite subjects. Numbers shmumbers, you hated it. And unfortunately for her, you were dumped on top of her already full plate unceremoniously when she had been pulled aside by one of the professors.

She didn't want to take it, but she didn't want a fellow student to fail a class she thought was so easy. So she hesitantly agreed, biting more than she could chew.

The event for the both of you was stressful to say the least. She was frustratingly ambiguous about her time and schedule, which clashed with your want to be punctuational, keeping interactions simply transactional. This was both stressful and moreso awkward for the two of you to go through. Eve wished you were a fast learner, but you were failing classes that involved numbers for a reason. Ouch.

Several pensive and forced smiles in the discomfort of your dorm room, each time you were told to start over or why you got this and that as an answer and formula was helping a migrane slowly develop the more time passes. She was trying her best, she really was. And you were too, you both can see the strained effort you two had put in. But by god the process was going by slow.

More breaks would occur than actual learning, before you caved and gave in first.

"I'm never getting this, am I?" Falling back to your mattress with a stiff bounce, you close your eyes and put an arm over them. Hand clenched, nails digging into the palm of your hand.

"Well, you're making progress. As slow as it is at least." You can appreciate how she still has the courtesy to be nice and sugarcoat it, but that was just making you all the more resentful of the situation.

"I just- I dont get it! How do you get this from that?" Quickly sitting up to point accusingly at the paper that lies on your soft cushions, its crumpled and dented with the amount of times you had to erase with shavings of it not too far beside.

"It's hypothetical, thats why we have assigned formulas." Eve pinches the bridge of her nose. She's exhausted and just wishes she could crash at her bed. But even the trip to the treehouse seemed tiresome to do, now contemplating if it was the best course of action to live there.

"Yes, I know! But-ugh." It feels useless, putting your hands up in defeat. "At least with science you can tell what you actually need to use. Math is all 'use your common sense', well i'm trying." Muttered through gritted teeth, you close the abused books and notebooks scattered on the bed.

It was a unified agreement to take a break and go out for a little while and get grub, blowing steam off in the process.

This goes on for two weeks, and gradually progress begins to show. You're making more sense of the subject and are putting pieces together easily than before, which used to be nothing. It was going at a snails pace, but progress is progress!

A small surprise quiz had popped up, and you answered the questions with a keen eye. Double checking, using the memorization methods Eve basically drilled into your head, a wavering air of confidence around you as you wrote.

The time for grading happened all too soon, exchanging papers to whomever was closest to you, checking one another's work before passing it back and receiving your own. Here came and greeted an unbelievably high score plastered in red ink on your paper, reading a 16/20.

You almost cried in joy with how surreal it was. It may just be a simple quiz to the others, but this was practically a milestone to you. The news was given to her, and you both felt lighter knowing you finally had it handled. As a cause for celebration, you decided to lounge in your bed and just have a time for yourself, no longer plagued with the tutors. Coming in the whole situation with Eve filled with dread, and coming out with a feeling of self reassurance.

Your time spent with Eve decreased the more time went on, which you were a bit sad about. Having considered her as a friend, but knew it was inevitable. School work is still work.

On occasion she and you would just text, maybe ask for help whether it be math or personal things, or just to reply to a stupid cat video one of you sent.

Eve did begin to notice you became a lot more confident in answering and volunteering in class, and she felt proud for you.

Meet up!

Burgermart seemed to be more sensational than before, ever since Mark decided to quit.

The place isn't as packed as other foodchain restaurants would usually be, but it seems a lot more crowded than what Mark was used to.

It was his to go to place even though he’ll be met with a few familiar faces working behind the counter, but nothing too bad.

He waits in line, orders his usual, and walks to his unofficial spot that Mark likes to sit at. Only to already be occupied with a friendly face he has met, and another not so much.

Based on the confusion on yours it’s safe to say you probably don’t remember him. Probably. Hopefully.

“Mark! Fancy seeing you here,” The two exchange hugs while you awkwardly watch, biting on your greasy burger unashamedly.

You and Eve move to the corner of each of your booths, and decidedly Mark sits next to you instead. A flash of hurt goes over her face, but disappears as soon as it came.

They’d chatter and munch on the fries left over from the burger platter of Eve’s plate, only humming noncommittally whenever you’d be dragged into the conversation, but said nothing else. Not wanting to butt in their conversation, so mulled over on why this guy’s face felt so familiar to you. But nothing pops up.

Everyone finishes up and after a few minutes all of you are standing to leave. Cleaning just a little but after yourselves to not seem rude when the workers clean up.

“I never really got your name.” Mark suddenly shifts his attention to you as the three of you walk out to the parking lot. Its already afternoon, making the weather warm a little.

“I never really gave it.” You reply back. In your head, you justify your response by chalking it up to not really knowing the guy. Sure he’s Mark, Eve’s supposed friend. But what else? What happened to stranger danger?

Eve doesn’t seem to pick up on that, and or doesn’t share the same sentiment, enthusiastically coming in to respond for you. “Remember when I said I was busy tutoring someone? Yeah? Well they’re said someone.”

“You talked about me?”

“Well, just the good bits . . . !”

Shame, embarrassment, you wish the world could swallow you up right then and there.

But you steel yourself, making sure to not make eye contact helping avoid digging your already deep grave. “Better be, or ill tell him the time you tore a hole through the papers when-“

“Okay! Okay! I get it! I promise, it wasn’t anything bad!” Her flustered state makes you laugh, slowly warming up to the both of them.

“I heard you got a high score that one time, man I wish I did too. I kind of flunked the quiz.”

“Maybe you should ask them to tutor you. They’re kind of a math whiz now dontcha think?”

The wink wink nudge nudge could not have been any more subtle.

“Shut up.”

What happens next?

So many new things in your life changed and occurred, both terrifying and exciting.

One of them was being introduced to the friend group that seemed to be ever expanding the more times you hang out with them. William was a hoot, he felt like the most normal person you could relate to. Amber was ambitious, a kind person who already had her shit figured out. And Mark? Well, hes a dweeb and a mess.

Even though you’ve been adopted into the new stray friend, you always gravitated to Eve more. She was the first person you really bothered to hold more than one sentence with. Albeit a bit forced.

Then the whole human robots occurred, you wish you could say you were there to be of help or even lend a hand, but you were dead asleep for the most part. Too busy holed up in your dorm room with work to fully enjoy the almost-adult, adult life.

Then Mark reveals his super hero persona to you, and so does Eve.

“How many know?”

“Oh, hun.” Eve puts a hand on your shoulder.

“You’re like, the last person to know. Everyone in the group practically already know.”

“What.”

You feel bitter but view them no more or less. Only asking to be taken flying at least once by one of them in exchange.

“THIS IS AWESOME!”

“Calm down I might drop you!” Eve is not surprised nor all that glad you asked her first, but feels a bit cocky about it. Another tally on whose the best super between her and Mark. Not that anyone’s counting.

★彡

It seems the two can’t catch a break. Mark especially.

Everyone’s there for Mark after the whole incident, and to further supporting his now semi-fixed relationship with Amber.

You can sense something about Eve though, but don’t pry. The way she looks at the two or how she tries to just hang out with you more to ‘get her mind off of things’ at her tree house, it was quite the tell.

“You know you can tell me anything that’s bothering you, and I wouldn’t judge you. Right?”

Eve hands a glass of soda, bubbling from the carbon dioxide. She sighs and says nothing, only opting to lean and look at the view overlooking the place.

“I know.”

Despite not being a super or wicked smart, you’re not stupid. You are Eve’s only confidant, even if you don’t get it, you sympathize with her.

Its one thing after the other with Mark and Eve. Mark comes back home with a purple baby, Eve focuses more on her studies to be an architect, things get messed up, and the secrecy continues.

Mark doesn’t get too deep into it, only ever talking to Eve about topics as heavy as that. So many . . . Events has conspired. You’re helpless to do anything to help soothe the bleeding wound. Eve says Mark just needs time, but you both know it’s not true. So, being the ever so genius you are, you offer a sleep over.

It’s a much appreciated and comforting sentiment for the whole family, they’re not sure if they want to be alone after what had conspired. But they also say nothing, keeping their mouths zipped tight.

A movie starts to play, a few hours had already passed ever since you and Eve rang the doorbell. Everyone’s huddled up at the couch, with Oliver sat in Marks lap, now crawling to Eve before reaching you at the end of the couch.

“Looks like he likes you.” Mark sounds so tired when he speaks, it’s a lot more quiet than when he usually talks, but Eve only nods in agreement.

“Yeah, babies like me for some reason. Even if I’m not a fan. But I guess since it’s Oliver..” He pulls and tugs at your clothes in curiosity, before harshly sitting himself on your stomach to face the tv. You let out an ‘oof’, which Mark and Eve laugh.

The tv plays, but its practically static to Mark’s ears, as he speaks again.

“I broke up with Amber.”

★彡

Having to be the middle of the two sided coin, you were forced to listen to the two’s complaints about one another’s crush. You wish you could just pull your hair out to get some semblance of relief with how its eating at you alive. At least William knocked some further sense into him when Mark confided in them after asking you first.

Eve? Well, she was busy. Like always.

But it was Mark this, architect that, Mark and Oliver, all that fun jazz. You couldn’t visit as often as Eve could, so she’d like to give updates.

Sometimes you feel like they’re so close to getting there, so close, until you get caught between the two again at the treehouse, seeking some you and her time till Mark showed up.

Something something future Eve, something something oh my fucking god Mark you’re screwing this up!

They both leave due to an emergency, leaving you there isolated at the treehouse.

“Great, guess ill just jump down and walk my way to the campus then!” You shout to nobody in particular.

Its about time!

Finally, the two got together.

No party no celebration, nothing big or grand. Just a small text of congratdolences, because she had to deal with Mark foreverrrr. Until an inevitable break up. Which will never happen.

Their relationship started off a bit fast, a bit rocky, but still stable. Still being at college and not possessing super human abilities, you would often video call and or gossip to them when they had the time. Catching up a lot more on things everyone would miss out since it felt like everyone lived in on different worlds.

You’d make William join in too, considering besides Eve, you were really close. But oh goodness, oh my word, he got caught up talking to his dearly beloved Rick and therefore forgot to reply!

Okay that may be a little exaggerated, but what can you do? Separated by the three people you were super close with in the span of half a year, you were getting clingy.

“Ugh, Will come on. This is the third time we’re hosting a small food get together without you, you can even bring Rick!” You’d complain while lying on your stomach in front of your laptop. Toiling away at your textbooks.

“How’s it feel to third wheel with the super couple? And plus, its finally a friday! I haven’t gotten a break in what feels like ages. Me and Rick are planning on staying in and having a movie night and falling asleep on the couch.”

“Barf. Rick this, Rick that, blah blah blah. You were so interesting when you were single!”

“Well sorry you’re the only one who’s single in the friend group.”

“Hey!”

Maybe you were a third wheel. Constantly hanging around Eve and Mark whenever they’d offer or whenever you had free time, you felt embarrassed. Especially now that you’re helping them look for an apartment —or house even— that they could possibly afford.

Being an expert in assessing many things in your life, of course your help was well needed.

“What about this one?”

“Looks… well..” Mark squints at the photo, giving it a slight once over before pursing his lips. Arms brushing up against yours as he crosses his arms and legs in faux thought.

“I know, it’s tacky, right? But I didn’t know if that was your guys’ style.” You click away to another tab, showing the place and its living conditions, plus the added bonuses it has around the areas. Nearby markets, easy access to vehicles if wanted, and a bit isolated so they went get caught super-ing.

“You saying we’re tacky?”

Ignoring Mark’s comment to your right, you shift your attention to Eve. “How about this one?”

“It’s a bit too good to be true, hows the rent?” Eve sets down on Mark’s bed with a slight bounce, leaning over to your left to sandwich you with Mark.

“Yeah about that.” You suck in hair between your teeth and move the screen as an answer, and she merely scrunches her nose.

“Man. Adulting is hard.” Mark leans his head with a thud on his headboard, before it slowly slides to the side, hovering just slightly on your shoulder.

“Tell me about it. I had to pick between saving up for the ride home or saving the cash for food.” You reply absent mindedly, tapping away at the screen with an occasional click of the laptop’s track pad.

“Imagine if you guys had another human being to deal with while you’re still trying to get your shit together? Yikes.” Shaking your head at the thought of it, makes your bones heavy with fatigue.

But Mark and Eve look over to one another with a shared look of confusion. Another person? As in . . . You’re not implying that are you?

They take you back to your campus but not before saying bye to Oliver. Even though he was just a year old, he already grew as big as a toddler. Wanting to hang out with you despite barely talking or even knowing him. It was like a baby duckling imprinting.

But Mark and Eve can’t help but think about what you said on their way home. Another person? It seems like a bit much. No?

They were already quite content on having each other, they didn’t know if the other was comfortable about the prospect of it all. But wasn’t opposite to it either.

So for now, they’d decided to tip toe around it instead.

A puzzling piece

Ever since that visit, the two have been a lot more touchy feely with you.

You dont mind honestly, chalking it up to them being a lot more friendly towards you and nothing else. Nothing more.

William and Rick start to notice too, after finally having everyone’s schedules align once in a blue moon and going out to just have some fun. They’d practically crowd you like body guards, and William and Rick would just watch, snickering to one another.

At times you do get suspicious. Eve holding your arm as you walked was nothing new, but when Mark started to initiate more physical contact with you, you’d spiral.

Of course Mark was hot, hell, Eve was too! Those were simply just facts, your best friends were attractive as hell. Who doesn’t admit that to themselves from time to time? But theyre off limits. They have each other, and you’re just you! No offense.

You couldn’t help raise a questioning brow when Mark and Eve started sitting away from each other in exchange of you being in the middle of them. Bumping shoulders, arms brushing up, hands on your back, or hair tucked behind your ear. It felt overwhelming.

So you confide in William and Rick on their behavior, receiving cryptic responses rather than actual answers instead.

��Are Eve and Mark being weird?” You’d ask, passing over your bag of chips to Rick while sucking on your straw.

“I think they’re being very obvious.” William answers dismissively waving his hand.

“Obvious? About what?”

“Oh you know, right Rick?” And he just shrugs with an awkward smile in response.

“Well has Mark said anything? Eve’s just been . . . Normal, I guess? But feels like they’re keeping something from me too.”

“Yeah, sure. Ill tell you if Mark says anything. Wink wink.” William says out loud rather than literally.

“Okay?”

Seeing as they were no help, you finally grew some and talked to Eve about it privately. No Mark, no Atom Eve or Invincible, just you and her in the a lot sturdier and built treehouse of hers.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes! Well, no.”

You spill your guts out to her, not looking in her general direction the whole time so you can actually let out the words you want to say rather than awkwardly fumbling and mumbling to yourself.

It seems Eve feels the same way, opting to look out rather than meet your own gaze. Picking at her nails at the same time.

“Do you remember when you were helping us look for apartments to live in? Before we ditched that plan and decided not to?”

“Yes . . ?”

“Then you mentioned something about another person being in our lives?”

“Another person? Since when?”

“Since when you showed us that great place! But was too out of our budget.”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well we thought. . . You were . . .”

It takes a few moments for you to make sense of it all, till Eve reaches to hold out your hand and it clicks.

“I meant having a kid! You know, white picket fence and all that!” Your face is practically hot enough to cook an egg on with her admittance.

She clears things up before Mark pops up all of a sudden. Not taking the hint of yours and Eve’s current state and inviting himself in.

“Where were you? I texted you that an hour ago and I still had no response. I got worried.”

“Crap, I think I forgot to hit send.”

Mark gets caught up in the current news, and feels like he’s made a fool of himself. Him and Eve are silently but not very subtly having a conversation about you in loud hushed whispers. Their backs turned to you and they’re holding each other’s hand in reassurance.

“Im not—Im not opposed to it though.” You say quietly, a bit hesitant to break up their conversation.

“Really?” They say in unison, perking up like excited puppies.

“I mean! If you guys’ll have me, that is.”

“We’ve been flirting with you for the past couple of months, I think we’re more than happy to.”

“You’ve been flirting?!”

“Yes, for months.”

Maybe in the near future the three of you could live in that house you found, just the three of you.

a/n: ahh i kinda hate and love this but im done so whatever just take it from me TAKE IT

btw id love to hear your thoughts and questions about this or just invincible in general teehee! planning on writing more ;P

[luvseraphh]

football boyfriend.

⊹ synopsis. you and your popular football boyfriend

⊹ content warnings. fluff, drabble, gn reader, uni/college au, football kiri

⊹ pairing. eijiro kirishima x reader

⊹ side note. I cannot stop thinking about football kiri... like you can't tell me it doesn't fit and he's not the cutiest patootie in existence.

You weren't necessarily a nerd or a loner or an outcast. You were simply normal. You weren't apart of any sororities and you didn't go out to parties every weekend. And that meant some people thought you and Kirishima weren't made for each other.

He was kind and extroverted. He loved going to parties, was in a frat, and he went to the gym daily. His muscular figure only got more muscular with his football practice. He was practically the college's golden boy and girls constantly thirsted over him on social media.

But Kirishima didn't care about that. If there was something he wouldn't do, it was judge others based on other peoples' perception of them. He loved you dearly. You were so kind, the kind of person who would pull over if you saw a missing or hurt animal. You never missed a single game of his and were always yelling his name the loudest, his spare jersey engulfing your figure and his number written on your face in the school's colors.

Sometimes he'd even take you to the gym. He enjoyed the way you'd gawk at his muscular arms and defined abs between sets, purposefully lifting up his shirt to wipe the sweat off of his face in order to give you a better show.

Other times he'd sit in your room with you, drawing shapes into your thigh as you geeked out about whatever interest you had. It didn't matter to him. If he was being completely honest, he only half payed attention. He did however remember enough to get you the best presents relating to the topic.

Despite his kind demeanor, he has zero tolerance for anyone who puts you down in any way, shape, or form. When girls hit on him while his arm is draped around your waist he gives them a confused look and explains he's (obviously) taken. When they don't back down he immediately gets snarky, unlike how almost anyone's ever seen him before. He wouldn't leave you for anyone, especially not a girl who's blackout drunk and throwing herself at every guy inside that bar.

He supports you in anything and everything you do, whether big or small. Chaotic or calm. Whether it's posting a couples picture on Instagram or dying your hair neon green or starting a new career venture. Whatever you want, he makes sure you get.

Taglist - @justmylvr @lwcedribbons @im0nsaturn @dvartefox @failurewater @f0reverfaded @t0asty1 @iv-vee @mp3nai @straows @grenadehearts @hecate-frenchfries @imagine-all-the-imagines

ⓒ luvseraph 5/17/25

[jaysguitarstring]

enhypen fic reccomendations

none of these works belong to me, each one is created by the amazing people tagged next to their respective work title.

mdni! a lot of these works include suggestive and/or explicit content.

recs are under the cut!

▪︎ premium content series by @heeluvv

smut, ot7 (onlyfans au) x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: i love, love, LOVE this series. literally was obsessed with heeseung after reading his part. you will never catch me not checking for a new update.

▪︎ player rank: platinum by @simpjaes

smut, sister's bf heeseung x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: once again, one of the fics that made me obsessed with heeseung. he's kind of a dick in this one, plus a cheater, but this was SO good. not that i accept cheating or whatever, but the writing, the scenario (gamer heeseung has me on a chokehold) everything goes so well together. i have probably reread this 5 times by now.

▪︎ frontman agenda by @simpjaes

fluff, suggestive, band member jay x fem reader, exes to lovers

☆ demi's notes: my two worlds colliding fr. rockstar jay is a NEED. i was literally kicking my feet while reading this. i dont think anyone could have written this better than simpjaes.

▪︎ tempting them during no nut november by @wonryllis

smut, hyung line x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: left me with my jaw dropped and i still don't know why. need.

▪︎ caught by @emisluvr

smut, roommate jay x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: i screamed internally.

▪︎ take the risk by @emisluvr

smut, bf jay x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: i folded so hard reading this, this jay is literally the perfect balance between rough and soft.

▪︎ magic word by @boyfhee

fluff, dad jake

☆ demi's notes: i started crying bc this was too cute for me. jake is so girl dad coded.

▪︎ the aisle that never was ( pt2 here ) by @songbirdseung

fluff, angst with comfort, fiancé's friend jake x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: this could easily be a book and id buy it. if i ever get dumped at my future wedding day, i expect this jake to pick me up from a park.

▪︎ late bites & library nights by @kikidoul

smut, fluff, vampire heeseung x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: ive been getting back into vampire stuff lately (currently rewatching the vampire diaries bc i dont remember shit) and this was soooo good. also loved the reason why heeseung wanted to be close to the reader so often.

▪︎ off limits trilogy by @yeonzzzn

smut, fluff, angst, brother's best friend jake x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: this jake lives in my head rent free 24/7. also reread probably 5 times by now. one of the first thungs i read on here as well.

▪︎ loose by @sjyuns

suggestive, bf jungwon x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: loose ponytail on my head. where's my jungwon.

▪︎ unseen by @boyfhee

texts, crack, slightly suggestive jokes, vampire sunghoon x fem reader (feat. vampire enha)

▪︎ this by @wonsiwon

fluff, crack, bf jake x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: got me wishing i had a bf and shi

▪︎ ideal by @boyfhee

▪︎ apocalypse by @enh2pen

smut, bf heeseung x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: im a sucker for soft doms, and this is one of the best soft dom heeseung ive seen

▪︎ the engagement game by @coriihanniee

smau, fluff, crack, unknown enhypen member x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: this is prob one of the best smaus ive ever read. this is the first time ive read something with an unknown member, and i think its so unique and creative. it pushes you to read more and to try and guess who it might be, though the author is sneaky and adds small traps so the reveal is still a surprise in the end. LOVED THIS SM THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS!!

▪︎ out of my league by @myjjongie

smau, jake x fem reader

▪︎ black coffee or cream and sugar? by @hoonieyun

smau, fluff, crack, jay x fem reader, slight enemies to lovers

☆ demi's notes: this is SO cute! the definition of comfort fic fr. the layout is so pretty and fitting for the story, and i love how they progress from bickering and disliking each other to slowly realizing they don't dislike the other as much as they thought.

▪︎ barely legal by @vintageriki

smau, fluff, crack, younger brother's friend jake x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: to be honest, i kinda hesitated clicking on this when i first saw it, because usually people make the younger male trope kinda uncomfortable and awkward. i dont regret it at all now, though. this is sososo good, and i love how jake is down bad while still being respectful. enjoyed how they got closer because of yeonjun being a jerk, haha. i find myself often checking for new updates! prob the first smau ive read on here, thank you for making this, mwah <3

▪︎ you match my freak by @byshens

smau, crack, idol heeseung x fan fem reader

☆ demi's notes: even though there are only two chapters at the moment, ive liked it a lot so far and cant wait to read more, too. heeseung and reader literally match each other's freaks. excitedly waiting for new updates!

▪︎ boaf by @okwonyo

smau, crack, biker jake and sunghoon x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: also not many chapters yet, but i love, love, LOVE. im down bad for motorcycle guys (although im scared of bikes, oops.) cant wait to read more!

▪︎ baby come back by @softlysoul

smau, crack, jake x fem reader, exes to lovers

▪︎ miscommunication series by @jayparked

texts, suggestive jokes, crack (smut for written parts) ot7 x fem reader

pt1 - "wanna bang?" pt4 - "the best fuck ive . ever had"

pt2 - "let me ride you" pt5 - "sleep with me"

pt3 - "im wet" pt6 - "i can go all night"

pt7- "lick me up" pt8 - "im playing with myself"

heeseung's version jay's version

☆ demi's notes: this is literally so fun. the change up at the last part is so good too, like these guys have had enough and they're not backing down now.

▪︎ when they text you "gf mad at me. hope i die" by @jayparked

texts, fluff, crack, ot7 x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: these texts really make me hate being single fr. if relationships are so fun then GET ME A MAN RN

▪︎ when they reassure you by @jayparked

texts, fluff, ot7 x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: snail im on one knee rn. ID MARRY YOU IF I COULD. WHAT ARE THESE MASTERPIECES. (honestly i would add the whole masterlist but then this would be huge)

▪︎ music to my ears by @jayparked

smut, music producer bf jay x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: have i mentioned that i am down bad for jay? this made me fold even harder.

▪︎ take the backseat (pt2 here) by @simpjaes

smut, bf jay and bf's best friend jake x fem reader

☆ demi's notes: the legend for last. a literal masterpiece. i think i was obsessing over this for a week.

thank you to all these amazing people for sharing your talent and creativity! in the meantime, ill be sticking to reading because my studies have consumed all my motivation and creativity (kinda feel sad about this bc i used to love writing so much and i had so many ideas). i might share some of my works though, so feel free to send any asks or requests because i can still write small drabbles or thoughts!

[silens-oro]

You Know Where You Are: Part IV (final)

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x f!Musician!Reader Angst/Established Relationship Part I | Part II | Part III

The Pitt Playlist located here The Pitt Masterlist

Synopsis: You either let the grief bury you, or you allow someone to pull you out. Word Count: 2,702 Content Warning: PTSD; Trauma; Grief; Mentions of death; Reader is in her 30's A/N: I listened to I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski on repeat while I wrote this, so I'm very sorry in advance. Thank you so much for the love on this series. We've reached the final part to You Know Where You Are and it has been an absolute joy share the journey with you. I may possibly do an epilogue in the near future if enough people want it.

Please comment & reblog :)

“You are incredibly tough to track down, you know that?” Jack’s familiar voice grunted as he sat next to you on the park bench you were currently occupying. You were taking a small break to people watch at a park about four blocks away from your townhouse. It as a frequent stop during your daily wanderings, it was just a matter of getting the timing right on if someone would find you or not.

“That usually means someone doesn’t want to be found, Jack.” You continued to watch, not giving him any attention in the hopes that he’d give you space, but this was Jack and he knew how far to push someone before relenting. 

“You know, usually people thank me for saving their life,” Jack threw out to see what he was working with as he leaned forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. It was just after four in the afternoon and he had a few hours before he was scheduled for work. 

“I’m not grateful.” Yikes. Okay, redirect. “Should’ve left me in that truck as a DNR.” 

“Well, I’m going to disagree with you on that one. You held on,”

“Self preservation is a real bastard.”

“You’re telling me.” He tapped his prosthesis on the ground. Jack looked around, taking in their surroundings, and sighed your name. “I’m not here to fight with you or tell you to get your shit together, although I really wish you would.” He said pointedly, “I know why you’re doing it, but you can’t ice everyone out because you don’t want to face it. You can’t ice Robby out. The poor guy is hanging by a thread and the only thing he can worry about is you because you won’t communicate with him.”

“He was supposed to be there, Jack. Right where Leah was.” Oh, no. This wasn’t purely self isolation due to trauma -this was guilt. “I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it and it is all I can think about.” Jack nodded. 

“You uh, you seeing anyone about this? Talking to anyone? If not, I have a therapist. He’s good.” 

“I’m talking to you.” You chuckled dryly as you shook your head, looking down at the raw cuticles and skin around your fingernails. It had been picked, scabbed over, then picked again. The skin on the back of your hands was scratched pink and you pulled the sleeves of your zip up down to cover them self consciously, but Jack had already seen the damage. 

“I’m not in the realm of qualification that this calls for, kid.” Jack scoffed. “When’s the last time you spoke to Robby?” 

“After I was extubated,” Your cell phone sat at home every time you left your house in the two weeks since you made it home, completely disconnected from the outside world. If someone wanted to reach you, they’d have to hunt you down, -and Jack happened to get lucky this time around. 

“That’s a long time to leave someone hangin’, ya know?” He didn’t want to reprimand you, just kindly point out that maybe the way you were going about things wasn’t the best. “We’ve all been worried about you.” 

“Then maybe he and everyone else should take the hint.” You knew it was mean, ugly, but that was all you felt these days. The kindness you used to run on, the glass half full mindset, was gone. The world was ugly and bitter and darker than it ever was for you, and so you too were ugly and bitter and dark. They were the easiest feelings to wrangle and they didn’t make you think past surface level to something deeper that you didn’t want to dig up.

“You don’t mean that.” Jack said softly.

“No, I do, Jack.” You glared at him. “I just…I want to be left alone. I’m trying to-to maneuver through the pieces of my life and figure out what I’m supposed to be doing or if there’s even a point to any of this anymore.” Jack’s heart clenched. “My entire way of life has been thrown out the fucking window and this is the only way I can deal with it without exploding into a million pieces or biting a fucking bullet.” You started absentmindedly scratching at your hand before you caught yourself by clasping them together. Jack watched it all and kept quiet, letting you get out everything you needed to say. 

“One of my best friends was murdered right in front of me.” Your voice cracked, “I was shot, Leah died trying to help me. Jake was shot helping me.” You shook your head, covering your eyes with the palms of your hands. “The band is done. We haven’t talked, but I don’t think I could ever go out on stage again, much less be near a crowd of people, even if I wanted to. Everything we’ve worked for in the last twenty years is gone. Nick’s gone.” Your voice trembled and something across the park held your attention as you spoke. “I’m on edge every second of every day. If I so much as hear a car door slam, my entire body clenches so hard it feels like my ribs are going to break. My anxiety is through the roof to the point that I’m physically manifesting symptoms,” You held up your hands for him to fully see before hiding them away again in your sleeves. “This is as close to hell as you can get without actually being there.” 

Jack saw your face fully for the first time since you were intubated in your recovery room. Your mouth was set in an agitated frown, your brows pinched together in irritation. Your face was gaunt and dark, heavy circles weighed under your eyes. You looked absolutely miserable and Jack couldn’t blame you -not when he himself went through something similar when he lost his leg. He was fortunate enough that his late wife was there to pull him out of the depths and back into the world of the living, and he’d be damned if you were left to flounder when you had people who loved and cared about you. Jack would do what he could to help you, and help Robby, before you both fell too far. 

PTSD was something Jack was well acquainted with. It was something he worked through, and continued to work through, and he also lost many friends to it who fell through the cracks. 

It was your eyes, though, that worried Jack the most. You should’ve been weaned off of the painkillers after your first week out of the hospital, but your pinpoint pupils were telling a different story as they looked over at him, looking but not actually seeing. You were so much worse than Jack could’ve imagined -you were a shell of who you used to be, and if he didn’t hook you and pull you back on board then this could spiral into something so much worse than it already was. 

“All I do is walk. I walk and walk around the city from sunrise to sunset because if I just rot inside of my house, Robby is all I see. I see his death over and over in every person I saw that night. I see Leah…and Nick. I see people who didn’t even have a chance to make it, but somehow I did. What made me special, Jack?” Your chin dropped to your chest as you tried to stifle the emotions that were coming out. “Nick had a family -a wife and two kids who will never see their father again. Leah hadn’t even started her life yet. I can’t imagine what her family is going through. They died for nothing, Jack. All of them died for nothing while I’m…here.” You shook your head. 

“I wish I had the answer to that. Sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw, I suppose. Some people make it, some don’t. That’s human existence.” You nodded, half listening. “You sleeping at all?” Another shrug from you. 

“I have to medicate myself to get the few hours of sleep I’m able to, and the nightmares worm their way in when it starts to wear off, so I get up and walk some more until I’m so tired that I just pass out on the couch for an hour or two. Had I known this is what was waiting for me, I wouldn’t have let them throw me in the back of that truck to begin with. This isn’t a life, Jack. This is just existing.”

“Sometimes existing is the best we can do, but it isn’t forever. Healing takes time, and the mental wounds are oftentimes the hardest burden to carry, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.” You looked over to Jack.

“I’m scared of what he’s going to see if I let him in.”

All things considered, had you been thinking clearly, you would’ve known Jack would talk to Robby after your conversation in the park. It just never occurred to you that Robby would be waiting for you when your feet finally brought you back home just after sunset. The way your heart pounded in your chest when you stopped a few houses down nearly made you turn around and head in the opposite direction. 

Robby hadn’t seen you yet. There was time to leave and circle back once he’d been sitting out there long enough to call it quits when you didn’t show up. It was tempting, but ultimately it wasn’t fair to Robby. You weren’t punishing him, not on purpose. He didn’t do anything wrong but that didn’t mean you wanted him or anyone else around you. Not while you were like this. 

With those thoughts in the forefront of your mind, you stepped forward into his periphery, ready to turn him away. 

Robby’s head snapped up from where he was looking down on his phone, and he stood up quickly. He was dressed in his work clothes -cargo pants, black scrub top, and his hospital zip up a little disheveled after working his 12 hour shift. His backpack was sitting on the stoop and he met you at the bottom of the stairs. Robby breathed your name, looking you up and down, taking every bit of you in like he couldn’t believe you were standing before him.

“Go home, Mike.” You shuffled past him and up the stairs. Robby followed quickly behind you, picking up his bag and tailing you up the stairs -his long legs taking them two at a time to keep up with you. 

“I came to see you. You don’t answer calls or texts, you don’t-” You stopped mid-step and turned back to look down at him from your vantage point. He caught himself on the railing so he didn’t bump into you.

“I know.” Robby placed his hand on your arm to stop you from turning back around. 

“I’m tired, exhausted.” Robby’s voice cracked. His dark eyes were glassy and bloodshot, full of every emotion he harbored. “My tank is empty -has been for over a month, running on fumes I don’t even have and still I have to keep giving. I don’t have a choice.” His voice was growing thick with emotion and you wanted to flee to the safety of your unit, where you could lock yourself behind a door to deal with your own demons. At least they were familiar. “I’ve stopped by here every morning, every single morning since I found out you left the hospital and every night I walk by in the hopes of seeing a glimpse of you in the window. I’ve tried to contact you in every way possible until I realized that whatever I had, you didn’t want and now I don’t know if you ever did.” You felt your right eye twitch. 

“Go home, Robby.” Not Mike -Robby. Your voice shook, holding itself on the edge of a blade. “Go home.” You whispered, begging him to leave you in peace, but he didn’t. He took another step up, coming up to eye level with you and held you there with the intensity of his eye contact. 

“Not until we hash this out.” You shook your head, pulling away from him.

“I’m not talking about this,”

“Yes we are.” The assertiveness in his voice held no room for argument. “I’ve given you space, I’ve given you time, and now we’re doing this my way because you’re not the only one who’s living in absolute agony because of this, goddamn it!” Robby never raised his voice at you in the nearly three years you were together, not one single time. His tone cemented your feet to the concrete stairs, eyes wide and system shocked. 

“You never gave me a chance -not a single fucking chance after you woke up. Do you know what my day was like, how many people died in the ED before PittFest? Kids, teens, the elderly? It was just hit after devastating hit, on top of knowing I disappointed you, and then you pulled up in that fucking truck with Jake and Leah and I thanked God you had a pulse because if you didn’t…” He shook his head, “That would’ve been the end for me.” Robby’s words sat heavy between you. “Never in my wildest fucking dreams did I ever think I’d be mourning you while you were still alive.” Robby made sure you saw the devastation in his eyes and heard the raw hurt in his voice. “You could’ve told me you hated me -at least that would’ve been a reason to do what you did. I could’ve accepted that. I could’ve learned to live with that. At least I would’ve known, you know?”

“Why would I hate you?” Your voice was so small, just above a whisper. Tears were welled in your eyes, yet to fall. The question was stupid because why wouldn’t he think that you hated him? All you did was push and push and push without giving a single reason why, but you didn’t push him away for anything he did. This was purely on you. 

“Because I failed so many people that night,” He admitted, a half sob escaping his lips as he tried to hold himself together. “I froze when we wheeled you into the trauma bay. I’ve been working in trauma for twenty-five years and I fucking froze. And if I didn’t, if Jack had taken Leah’s gurney instead of yours I know I would’ve lost you-”

“Stop,” You inhaled deep breaths to stop the wall you had built from toppling over. 

“Even when you were in the recovery room, all I saw was the same version of you I saw in the back of that pickup and the blood -all of your blood. All I could think about was that I should’ve been there with you. I should’ve been there and I wasn’t because I couldn’t get out of my own fucking head. It has eaten away at me, day and night, that maybe you wouldn’t have been as worse off as you were and Leah wouldn’t have died because she wouldn’t have been there. It is my fault she was there. It’s my fault that she never made it out of the ED-”

“Stop,” The sob finally broke free, “Please stop,”

“All I wanted to do was hold you, comfort you, love you -to let you know that I was with you every step of your recovery -that we’d do this together. I wanted to physically feel that you were still there, to know that one more person I loved didn’t slip through my hands-”

“Please,” You begged, completely breaking down. 

“Tell me to leave and I’ll go.” Robby’s breathing was staggered as tears streamed down his bearded cheeks. “But I’m so fucking tired.” Without another thought, you stepped down and shoved your face into Robby’s chest, sobs muffled by his sweatshirt. His arms instantly wrapped around you, holding you so tightly that there was no space between you. 

“Don’t go,” You begged, “Please don’t go.” His chest shook beneath you, his face smashed into your hair. “Don’t go.” 

farewell, my friends. if you'd like an epilogue to this, please let me know.

as always, comment & reblog :)

[elllisaaa]

hello! i absolutely love your writing ☺️

lately ive just been nonstop thinking about needy bf hyunjin… like he comes home from practice with a sly grin on his face and you know exactly where he’s going. he keeps trying to tease you and get you worked up, but you hold off, trying to see if his facade will dissolve - and eventually it does, he admits how much he needs you and you just have the wettest, neediest, sloppiest soft sex ever, calling him baby and hyune as he calls you my love and angel while you cum together, chest to chest and arms wrapped around each other, emitting all the pent up love from the day. i would loveee if you could write something on this, a drabble or if possible a full piece 🫶

FEEL IT - H. HYUNJIN

-> pairing : soft dom!hyunjin x sub!reader

-> words count : 1.6 k words

-> genre : smut, established relation

-> warnings : teasing, praising, dry humping, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie

+ the way i'm depicting hyunjin does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : this screams hyunjin, i loved writing this so much, these kind of intimate, steamy sex scenes are my favourites to write ! i hope you'll like it <3

-> masterlist | skz masterlist

You were always eager to go back home early when you knew Hyunjin would come by after practice. Firstly, because you were just glad to leave work, and secondly - and mostly - because your boyfriend was always needy when he just danced for hours, desperate to release the pressure, especially if he hadn’t seen you in a few days. So when he walked into your apartment with that smirk on his lips and that look in his eyes, you immediately knew what he wanted. And he would get it, obviously, but for once you wanted to tease him a little, wanted to see if you could get him to crack before you. 

As usual, Hyunjin came to where you were standing in front of the kitchen counter, cutting up vegetables for the dish you were planning on making for dinner, and his hands immediately wrapped around your waist. Soon enough, you felt his lips ghosting over the nape of your neck, his long hair brushing against your skin and making you shiver. 

“- How was your day Hyune ?

- Good, we worked well on the new choreo, but I struggled to get some moves at first.”

You hummed as you tried to stay focused on not chopping your fingers off while Hyunjin let his hands slide underneath the hem of the shirt you were wearing. He asked about your own day, but it was hard for you to concentrate when he had pressed his whole body against your back, letting you feel his already hard cock. 

“- You smell so good, my love. I missed you.

- I missed you too Hyune.”

You turned around to kiss his cheek and then walked past him to grab the spices you needed to season your vegetables. You could feel Hyunjin gaze on you, and you almost laughed at seeing the obvious frown on his face. Normally, you would let him do whatever he wanted, no questions asked. So why were you ignoring him like that today ? 

“- I’m making some fried rice for dinner, sounds good ?

- You know damn well that it’s not what I wanna eat tonight.”

Hyunjin was now pouting as he got closer to you again, not letting you get away from him as he held your waist tightly, his other hand grabbing your face. You looked up at him with the best confused expression you had in stock.

“- What do you mean ? Do you want to order instead ? Or I can make something different if you want.”

Your boyfriend groaned, slowly realizing what game you were playing. He was always the one to make you break first, to make you admit that you wanted him. If all it took was for him to tell you that he needed you, he would. 

“- I’m not hungry for food my love, I’m hungry for you. Can’t you feel it ?”

Hyunjin pulled you closer to him, your thigh now pressed against his boner, his eyes glazed by lust as you dived into them. This time, it was on your face that a smirk appeared. You finally wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his face inches apart from yours, your lips brushing against his when you talked. 

“- I know. But can’t I tease my boyfriend a little ?

- Not when I’m horny. And not when I haven’t touched your gorgeous body in days.”

Sensing that his cheesy comment would probably earn him a side eye from your part, Hyunjin decided to simply lean down and press a kiss on your lips - something he had been dying to do ever since he spotted you in the kitchen when he got home. And you let him take control, melting against his mouth as his tongue started to dance sensually with yours. Hyunjin always kissed you in a way that left you dizzy and wanting more, in a way that had you melting in his embrace. And as one of his hands came up to settle at the back of your head, his fingers threading through your hair, you whined against his mouth, definitely wet by now. 

“- I need you Hyune.”

Your words were enough for Hyunjin to lift you up bridal style and carry you to the bedroom. He was far too impatient to care about closing the curtains, simply dropping you on top of the sheets and immediately laying on top of you, his lips finding yours again in an even messier, sloppier kiss. Hyunjin pushed your legs apart, settling between your thighs with his hard on pressing against your clothed core and he didn’t wait a second before he started to grind against you, drowning your little whimpers and his moans by passionately making out with you. 

You tangled your fingers in his hair, trying to bring him closer to you if that was even possible, bringing his lips back to yours every time he tried to step away to breathe. And Hyunjin moaned every time you tugged on his black strand, only speeding up his moves against you, the friction against your clit feeling so good after days without him. His and your lips were red and puffy by now, but it only made him prettier. 

“- Wanna fuck you so bad my love, but I can’t stop… Feels so good.

- Don’t stop, please…”

So Hyunjin didn’t, resuming his kisses with even more intensity than before. You could feel drool pooling at the corner of your lips and dripping down to the pillows underneath your head, but you couldn’t care less when Hyunjin was rutting his hips against your own, a noticeable wet spot on his sweatpants being the proof of how turned on he was. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing, aching for your boyfriend’s cock, but at the same time, you were so close to the edge that you were ready to wait a little bit. 

“- Hyune, I’m close…

- Me too… Shit, you’re gonna make me cum in my pants.”

Hyunjin’s hands left your cheeks that he was holding to grip at your waist, grinding into you harder and bringing the both of you to your orgasm. You threw your head back when pleasure overtook you, mewling his name as Hyunjin moaned yours, unable to stop himself from driving you and him to overstimulation. When you looked at him again, his face was flushed, his hair was a mess and a layer of sweat was covering his forehead, making him even hotter if that was even possible. 

“- Are you going to let me fuck you now my love ?

- Please baby”

He smiled at you while he helped you remove your shorts and underwear, already licking his lips at the sight of your glistening folds, the thought of finally burying his head in between your thighs plaguing his mind. But he could do that later, for now he wanted to feel you clench around him, and to hear you moan his name again and again. As Hyunjin got rid of his clothes too, you threw your shirt away, grabbing his hands to pull him closer to you as soon as he was naked too and his lips found yours once again. As he devoured your mouth, Hyunjin pushed his cock inside of you, drowning out your moans and his by kissing you harder. 

“- You feel so good, so wet and tight around me angel

- Feels so good too Hyune, love your cock !

- Fuck… You’re gonna be the death of me.”

Hyunjin buried his head in the crook of your neck as he snapped his hips forward, eliciting another whimper out of you. The lewd sounds he made with every sloppy thrust inside of your cunt were echoing in the room, mixing with your high-pitched whines and his pretty, airy moans. You were feeling so good, desire overtaking every one of your senses and the only thought in your mind being Hyunjin and the way he was fucking you into oblivion. 

No words were needed anymore as you wrapped your legs around his waist, Hyunjin adjusting the angle of his hips so that he could hit your sweet spot with every one of his thrusts. He was staring up directly at your face, admiring how gorgeous you looked when you were losing yourself in the pleasure he gave you. Your hands found his, intertwining your fingers to seek even more contact with his hot skin. You were both sweaty, but you didn’t care - you needed to feel as close as possible to him. And his chest pressed against yours, his forehead resting against yours - that wasn’t enough. You needed him to know how much you desired him, how much you loved him. 

“- I love you.”

Hyunjin answered with a loud moan, his eyes closing shut as his orgasm washed over him. His thrusts became even sloppier, even messier, but all you needed to cum was to see his ecstatic face, hearing his beautiful voice whining out your name like a prayer. Your nails dug into the back of his hands that you were still holding as you came, squeezing his fingers so tight it sent a tingle of pain through your body. You came down from your high to Hyunjin pushing away some strands of your hair that had stuck to your forehead. You were still trying to breathe normally again when your boyfriend kissed you lazily.

“- I love you too angel, so much.

- I know baby.”

He smiled at you, and your heartbeat that just got steady again was going crazy suddenly. Sometimes, you wondered how it was possible for someone to be this handsome. Sometimes you wondered how you ever got that lucky to get to be with him every day. 

“- Can you still make fried rice, though ? I’m really hungry, for food this time.”

The smirk playing on his lips made you giggle as you ruffled his hair even more. 

“- Only if you help me. 

- Of course my love.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@minnies-babie @binwons @yoongles2025 @thicccurls @caitlyn98s @hildaortara @sharonxdevi @skz1-4-3 @bbgnyx @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @heevllog @puppy-minnie @binniesbabygirl @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @rashid-realrashid

[inmydr3amz]

Could you write a bailey's sister! Make out with benj nielsen?

°⋆｡right in front of you

​🇧​​🇪​​🇳​​🇯​ ​🇳​​🇮​​🇪​​🇱​​🇸​​🇪​​🇳​

✦ synopsis: in which benj realizes the right girl has been right in front of him all along

⟡ content warnings: none just fluff!

✦ word count: 1223

✮⋆ a/n: sorry this took me so long ive been busy w school 😭😭 also idk if this is what u had in mind. If not, feel free to drop another request w more details!! ⋆✮

p.2

You hate your sister for a lot of things: the fact that she doesn't let you wear her make-up, or her clothes, the fact that she's embarrassed to be seen with you, the fact that she still calls you her "baby sister" even though you're 15 now and only a year younger than her anyway, the fact that Benj has been in love with her for years even though she has this weird push and pull thing with him where she treats him like shit but then acts like she likes him when she doesn't actually give two shots about her him and just like the attention all the while you've always been right there.

One thing you don't hate about her, though, is the fact that she drops you off at the Nielsens' when she picks Alyssa up to hang out because it comes with a perk—you get to spend the day with Benj.

You've been best friends your entire lives because while your sisters were casting you off to the side, you were hanging out with each other.

And still, the idiot has heart eyes for the one sister who doesn't look his way, when all you've ever done is see him.

Your sister is a stupid jerk, you're sure of it, a damn toxic bitch, too—pulling the sweetest boy you've ever known along for the flattery then tossing him away when she's bored, or finds someone else, or simply when they're at school because she's embarrassed to be seen around Freshmen when she's literally just a Sophmore.

Sisterly love and all that—but that doesn't mean you have to like her.

It's getting to you now, like it always does, and it's bubbling up, up, up, 'till it just comes out—

Saturday afternoon. Rainy. Cold. You're laying on Benj's bed, staring at the ceiling, legs draped over the edge. You're wearing one of his sweaters. You listen to the sound of the rain tapping against the window, the glass cold to the touch.

He's sitting next to you, so close you can feel his body heat, and the mattress dips under your head whenever he bounces his thigh. He has his lower lip between his teeth, muttering little swears. Hands grip the controller, eyes trained on the shooter game displayed on the T.V. in front of him.

He groans and mutters a soft "Fuck." as he loses, tipping back a little.

You just can't take it. You really, really can't—

"Hey, Benj?"

He pulls one side of his head seat away from his ear. "Hmm?" he hums, looking down at you.

"Why do you like my sister?"

His face flushes—not because you're not supposed to know. He knows you know; he told you himself. You still remember the day: 4th grade, when he'd started chasing frogs. His face was red from running around when he met you under the slide at recess. Bailey and Alyssa were on the seesaw. He'd leaned over and said, "I like someone." You got excited because you thought it might be you. And then he said it was your sister. Your relationship with her has been strained ever since.

No, he just didn't expect it. You can tell because he's choking on air when normally he loves talking about Bailey.

He coughs one more time to clear his throat. "What?" he asks, strained.

You sit up to be eye-level with him and play with the sleeves of his hoodie you're wearing. It even smells like him—shampoo and lotion and vanilla.

"Bailey. Why do you like her? She's a bitch."

"Oh, come on," he says, and there's an amused glint in his eyes. He knows you and your sister don't get along. He and Alyssa don't get along very well, either. "I know o don't have the best relationship with my own sister, either, but don't you think you're being a little mean?"

"Benj, seriously." You're sounding upset now.

He was going to start a new game—but he stops short hearing your curt tone. He puts his controller down and hooks his headset around his neck. "Y/N, what's going on?"

You take a shaky intake of breath, feeling tears start to prick at your eyes—and your jaw start to set the more you think about your sister. "How do you like Bailey? She doesn't even like you. Hell, she's embarrassed by you!" you exclaim, throwing your hands around.

His face furrows with confusion, then intense with a flicker of pain. He slumos back. "You're being mean," he says softly, defeated. You hate seeing him defeated. He's too nice to look defeated.

You chew on the inside of your cheek hard to fight off how queasy you feel. "I'm not trying to be mean, Benj. I just don't think you should waste your time on her." When I'm right here.

When I actually appreciate you.

When I actually love you.

Even with that sad, puppy dog face, he still has a little awestruck glow in his eyes. "Because she just . . ." He sighs dreamily. "She's great, you know? She's pretty, and funny, and—"

You've taken this for years now. You can't. Not today.

You kiss him.

It's mindless, really. Your body leans forward of it's own accord, driven by the way you yearn for him.

His eyes widen and he just freezes, holding his hands up like he's scared to move. When it ends, and you look at him like you're a little shocked by your own actions, it hits him: he's fucking in love with you.

Sure, there's always been that Baily infatuation—but that was always the chase of the unattainable thing. It's easier to want someone you know you'll never have a chance with because then when you're rejected you don't have to confront the forever-hungry fear that maybe you're unlovable. It was never real.

But you? Oh, you . . .

You've always been real.

"Benj—" you go to say when he grabs you by the elbow and pull you into a bruising kiss. There's no hesitation this time, no freezing up. You flow right into it, melt under him as he shuffles, hand on the small of your back as he guides you to lay down. Your lips move against his like they have a mind of their own. The kiss is messy and unexperienced and it doesn't matter because it's good and it's Benj.

God, nothing has ever felt so natural.

You fist his shirt and pull his body against yours. He's half against you, holding himself up with his forearm next to your head, that hand absentmindedly playing with your hair, the other hand grabbing your waist and shifting you in time with his shifts under him and all you can think is hands, hands, hands.

Benj's hands.

Hot hands.

Hand placement.

That hand slipping under your (his) sweater to hold your bare skin.

He lets out a little desperate sound before pulling away, panting and eyes glazed over. You're panting too, loosening your grip on his shirt to press your hands flat on his chest.

Benj blinks, wets his lips. "I really have been wasting my time with Bailey," he quips breathlessly.

[n0tamused]

Hello! may i request a dr ratio fic where he randomly turns into an owl and now reader has to find a way to turn him back into a human, while reader finds a way, they take care of dr. owltio! its basically your typical "oh no my s/o turns into something and now i have to deal w it!" fanfic😭🙏 Ive seen silly tiktoks of veritas being an owl bc it resembles him so well🥹💗

A/n: I love those tiktoks sm bro 😭 They're so cute, I went to work on this as soon as I could. I hope I did this prompt justice, enjoy!

Contents: Veritas Ratio x GN! Reader, fluff, Owltio!

Words: 2465

“Quit your back talking” you scold, voice sharp as you whip around to glare at the bird on the table. Poised even in this fragile form, the big owl straightened its back, standing a little taller and letting out an accusatory ‘whooo’ at you. Despite the mild irritation you felt, from almost hearing all he had to say in your mind in human tongue from his irritation of being turned into this, you couldn’t help the way your face crumbled into a grin. Lifting a hand to rub the bridge of your nose, you take a moment to simply breathe and bask in the irony of the situation you find yourself in. Cackling you shook your head, trying to hide your amusement behind your hand, but the sound already reached the bird’s ears and he was already sauntering over to the edge of the desk as if to scold you for ‘not taking this seriously enough’. 

More coos came from him as you offered no response, but this time much less sharp but more defeated as his big wings stood half outstretched - it’s not everyday one gets turned into an animal, and Veritas was certainly not adapting swiftly to the clumsy yet deadly feet of this avian. His walk was awkward as he shuffled across the desk, his feathery back now turned to you as he looked for something.

Audibly letting out a soft ‘awh’, you approach the desk again, muttering an apology to him. Your words are met with his head spinning around to look at you 180 degrees, cartoonishly funny and beyond amusing. “I’m sorry alright.. No need to go  sulking about. Doubt you’d be able to do much like this anyway, and goodness knows I’d burn in hell if I just left you- leaving you like this'' you cackle a little as you reach out to rub the top of his head. He ducks away, so you leave him be. “I will help you out, okay? We’re in this together, but you’ll have to be a little more cooperative with me, Veritas”

He looks at you, clicking his little beak as he swishes his way to another corner of the desk, flapping his wings, and only then do you realize just how hot it was in the room, a warm breath of air making the layers of clothes stick to you like second skin. It must be no better for him with all those feathers. “Lucky you, I’m off work for the rest of the day. How about we get you a bath, hm?”

 Just like before, the owl’s head turned around, but this time its big eyes looked at you in a way they appeared to praise you for such a fantastic idea. Ever the person to not ask for help, had you not asked, the owl would have stayed here to swelter in the heat. “You like that, hm?” you coo at him, unable to hold back the mirth you found in the way he behaved - it is still a mystery for how long he’ll stay in this form, so it’s best to enjoy every moment while you could.

“Sometimes I wonder if you love those baths more than you even love me” you say out loud, holding your arm outstretched so the big bird can hop onto your forearm, you see it’s feathery ears perking, and another angry 'hooooo' went flying out from him, his chest puffing out in defense, scolding you for even posing such a stupid statement while he can’t verbally refute it. Sure, the doctor never directly spoke of his affections for you, but it should be without a doubt he favors you in more ways than one, and he definitely loves you more than his baths.

Nonetheless, you respond to his noise with a small smile as you carry him to the bathroom, a low hum coming forth from your throat as the silence due to the absence of his voice feels odd. You never realized before how much his voice filled your every day, specifically at home, although the silence between the two of you as you relaxed or went about your own thing wasn’t rare either. 

As the water began to fill the tub, Veritas found his purchase on one edge, watching as the water swirled inside, cool and radiating, tempting him to simply hop in right away. Not wanting to risk him drowning, you stopped the water from filling the tub whole, leaving enough water for him to sit comfortably in. “You need help getting in?” you asked as you looked at the big owl who, without a word(well, sound), hopped into the water, big wings spreading across as much as the tub would allow them to go. Water engulfed him from all sides as he splashed and dove his head swiftly underneath the water before coming up to shake the water off his face. Chuckling, you crouched down and rested your arms on the edge, one arm extending lower so the fingers could touch the water and flick some water on your beloved lover-turned-bird.

“WHOO” he says, a light gurgle in his howl as water splashed into his beak, prompting him to give a fast shake of his head. Now soaked and finally cool, he let his wings simply hang in the water with only his head bobbing on the water’s surface. It was like a purr, his next sound, a soft little ‘huuuu’ as he let his big eyes fall shut as the coolness licked up his feathers.

“I suppose this will have to become the new routine, until we can get you to turn back, that is” you comment as you look around for that one thing you never saw Ratio’s bath go without. The little duck floatie wasn’t too far off, standing on one of the shelves beside the bathtub, watching over the precious bathtub like a little guard before you retrieved it to sit beside Veritas. He looked at the duckie, which looked much bigger than he remembered, then up at you, then back at the duckie’s googly eyes. A sigh followed as the bird went back to cleaning himself off, his tail flicking back and forth, spraying water at you. 

Holding up your hand over your face in a frail attempt to shield yourself didn’t deter Veritas from subtly (but not so subtly) trying to splash you with the cool water. From the flap of his wings and down to the swish of his big tail, the water came flying at you. You laugh after the initial splash hits you, in disbelief at his action but no less happy to see it happen. And in retaliation, you cup your hand in the water and splash him back. “Don’t spray your water at me, you reek, you big bird!” you tease, earning a rather alarmed look from the bird before he dove down under the surface, fluffing his feathers as he came onto the surface to ruffle them. He yelled at you, bopping over to where you were and nudged at your hand. 

“You want me to wash you?” you guessed, and you guessed right as the next cry was more urgent as he extended one clawed leg up to grab around your fingers and draw you in. “Oh, yes, we can’t have you stinking up the place, no sir. If we do, then who’s to say we won’t have someone knocking on our doors to ask about the smell” you keep up your playful demeanor, fully knowing you will earn another earful from Veritas once his beak is turned back to human mouth. You giggle nonetheless, reaching your hand to begin and rub into his feathers. “I should go get you some bird-safe soap too, I don’t want to risk it with the soap we have” You tell him, and he seems understanding enough, a soft coo meeting your ears as a reply.

So many thoughts swirled in your head as you thought of the way you carefully had to handle his wings and the ways to help him turn back to his normal self. Ideas fell short from reality, sending you back to square one. Bringing this situation up to some of the higher ups at the Intelligentsia Guild seemed as the most plausible idea, while simultaneously being something that would most likely earn dislike from your lover here. While you took time to think of possible ways to help him, you could only hope that prolonged transformation like this had no dire side effects.

Three days flew by quickly. Books piled up on your desk and around the house, and the Guild has provided quite some solutions to your little problem - they were eager to get the genius back in their midst, but you only wanted to get Veritas out of this form. 

The weird food concoctions you had to feed the poor man(bird) made you feel sick, but he took it like a champion, only sighing, inhaling and then eating the food. Sometimes he’d fly around the rooms to get his exercise in, or to distract himself from the horrid tasting food; sometimes he’d wait for you around the kitchen to give him a sweeter tasting thing to cleanse his pallet, and other times he’d simply nap. You found out he slept a lot during the day, reminding you of cats. Your own sleeping schedule had gone to ruins and that was no fault of his - you simply wanted to help him where you could and spend time with him, entertaining him or feeding him. 

Yet, you couldn’t deny that the poor sleep has quickly caught up to you as you stifle another yawn. Now it was your time to relax in the bath, and the water did wonders to your muscles and mind alike. Suds slid down your neck and dipped back into the water as you sat down the scrubby sponge down aside in favor of resting, submerged up to the chin in the bubbly water.

No wonder he liked baths so much, you think, mind blanking otherwise. A distant flutter barely made your mind perk, until the small clink of claws on the bath’s edge had you flinching. 

“Veritas!- Didn’t I say that you should at least chirp if you fly towards me” With a small sigh you relax again. For all his big wings, he still flew as silently as the breath of the breeze.  You’d never get used to it. “Do you need anything, I'm afraid I can't help you right away, I’m a bit busy now” you mutter, your lower lip touching the water before you tilt your head up at him. His owlish eyes looked at the water, then at you, before he performed a small hop, landing on your knees that barely touched the surface of the water. “Want to join me, huh..? You know, you really shouldn’t, this isn’t that bird shampoo I bought for you” Veritas puffs his feathers in defiance, noting how the water was now deep, but with you a breath away, he let himself fall in. The suds rising and sticking to his feathers.  He cooed and squawked, flapping his wings and splashing the water. 

You quickly dipped your hands underneath, finding his clawed feet and offering him purchase so he doesn’t struggle, even if his big wings did a great job at keeping him afloat. There could never be a lack of caution, 

“Ratioooo” you whined, frowning and preparing to give him an earful before the weight in your hands grew tenfold, a sudden flicker and a flash of light blinding you to what actually happened in that fragment of a moment. Gasping you felt some water splash into your nose and mouth, the chemical taste of soap making your frown and hiss while the water being splashed over the floor alarmed you to no end.

“Ow-!” you winced, pulling your hands back from underneath the weight. Coughing resonated in the room, and this time it didn’t come from you.

“Veritas!?” Without even seeing him you recognized him, the mere sound of his coughs being enough to make your heart spring with mirth and a sense of triumph. You pushed back, the bathtub suddenly becoming too crowded, and looked up at him. Water dripped down his body, and before he could reply, his knee caught onto the slippery side of the tub, gravity pulling him down into the water and over you. Water splashed more, but you could only open your arms to catch him.

One had slipped underneath you, holding your upper back while the other held onto the edge of the tub to keep himself from falling any lower. He cleared his throat, blinking the water from his eyes. As you cheered his name and held him so closely, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, his cheeks struggling to fight the blush from rising up to them. Despite the initial shock and a wave of frustration that the soapy water caused by irritating his eyes, he couldn’t help but bask in the pure mirth you oozed. A childish joy that could stifle even his irritation - especially his. 

“VERITAS!” You cheered, all fatigue leaving your body as you held him again, your fingers not meeting the feathers but smooth and wet skin of his muscled back. His wet hair stuck to his forehead and a few stray hairs poked at his eyelids until he pushed his hair back. His mind reeled at the sudden loss of his much lighter form, and far more complicated one. Although he yearned to be human again for all the time he spent in his owl form, now he found it weird to feel fingers at the ends of his arms again. But what he had missed the most was this hold around his shoulders. 

“IT WORKED! You’re back, finally!” Your voice rang in his ears, reminding him of the ugly taste on his tongue and the shame he felt when you brought him into the HQ of the Guild, him perched on your shoulder and standing taller than the others - as always. 

“I told you- I-” he sputtered, but only groaned as words failed to form on his tongue. Has he gone mute from only cooing and howling?  “Pftt..” he chuckled, low and raspy as he pushed himself back, reeling you back with him to properly sit in the bath. He watched you lean back for only a few moments, your big smile forming the apples of your cheeks while your wet palm cupped his cheek. It made his breath hitch, and he’d be damned to admit, but he was sure his heart skipped a beat as well. Not wasting another moment, he pulled your back into his embrace, his face hidden away over your shoulder.

“You’re enjoying this far too much” Veritas spoke, even as a smile stretched across his features.

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.