#big fan of when a guy doesn't catch a hint

[flowersforthemachines]

There is something so sweet about just how innocent Lucanis can be. Between him saying "Oh, I have other plans for the evening 😉" only to sneak out of the villa to drink coffee by himself, and reacting to Rook's "So you want to stay up all night? However shall we pass the time?~" with "I'd like to just listen to your voice 😊" you can tell it may just be a recurring thing.

Imagine him being completely clueless about any subtle hints. You tell him you are cold sleeping alone at night, and he gets you a thicker blanket. You seductively stretch before him at the end of the day saying your back hurts and you could use a massage, and his first thought is to set you up with a prominent Treviso masseur. Zero flirting awareness, just big brown puppy eyes and a kind heart.

[yan-randomfandom]

Heyyy! I was wondering if you could do yandere saja boys x reader where the reader hangs out with a guy and they get very jealous

Yandere!Saja Boys x GN!Reader

a/n; the day im satisfied with writing a yan!saja boys and/or yan!huntrix one shot is the day i'll retire because this is still lacking 💔

warnings; uncomfortable, stalking, possessive behavior, more spotlight on Abby! no Jinu here, sry!

— 🌇

That's weird.

You're not anywhere in your house. You haven't responded to their messages yet.

"Think they finally had enough of us?" Baby mutters, looking through your snack drawer—nothing of interest—before closing it harsher than intended. The loud bang echoes in the empty kitchen.

Abby narrows his eyes as he looks through the window. The sun is going to set soon. "That can't be right. Maybe they went to buy something."

"Without telling us?" Mystery growls, his fingers fidgeting together. Well, it's not like you need to tell them every action you'll do. He's not even sure himself why he's so irritated.

After all, they were already planning to take your soul after the whole thing is over. But now that he's thinking of it again, the idea doesn't feel so good anymore...

The front door suddenly squeals open. All of them turn, expecting you, but instead meet Romance's face.

"Don't look so disappointed," Romance scoffs with an eyebrow raise. "I found the human. Come on."

— 🫧

First, they felt relief, then anger, then sadness, then nothing.

They found you alone, as Romance said you were, but then you started laughing. Your gentle laughter stopped them from getting any closer. A smile curls on your lips as your eyes consistently follow something.

"What?" Romance mutters, confusion scrunching his face. They can't see well from this angle—but they can't move either without being seen.

"I told you it's slippery," you snicker, walking over and extending your hand. Ah. So you weren't alone. "Come on. I'll help you up, I guess."

"Thanks," a voice replies, matching your energy, causing all of the boys to glance at each other. They watch as a hand takes yours. "I guess."

The person gets up—a man. Not a demon, but a human. Standing too close to you and still holding your hand. Or maybe it was just a normal distance, and time felt like forever watching you touch that thing—but, oh, Gwi-Ma. They feel like boiling their human forms.

You finally let go of him, using your hand to fish your phone out of your pocket. A frown snakes across your lips after a while. "Oh, no."

"Oh no?" your friend asks, tilting his head. "Is something wrong?"

You begin chewing your bottom lip, looking around. "No, uh, not really. But I have to go now. Nice catching up with you, man!"

"Aw, really?" he says, glancing at his phone. "Oh. It is pretty late. Isn't your apartment like right over there? I can—"

"There you are!"

You and your friend turn your heads, both of your eyes widening for entirely different reasons.

Abby approaches you with a charming smile, settling an arm over your shoulders. He hums as he takes a good, innocent look at your companion. "Who's this?"

"Saja— Abs—Abby? From Saja Boys?! Uh, I mean— Hi! So nice to meet you!" An unexpected blush blooms over your friend's face. He glances at you with nervousness and fascination before bowing his head.

Your friend shows off a crooked grin. He's a big fan already; he told you moments ago how he had Soda Pop on loop. You huff and remove Abby's arm from your shoulder, barely able to hold your flinch at the way he looked offended.

You gaze at Abby in anticipation.

Abby immediately gets the hint and masks himself. "Oh, a fan! Thank you for your support!"

They took a picture, Abby did his autograph, all the while giving him fanservice with his abs. Your friend giggles cheerfully as they shake their hands goodbye. You didn't miss the way Abby wiped his hand on his shirt when your friend wasn't looking.

"Take care!" you call to him, waving a hand before turning to a blank-faced Abby.

He stares at you humorlessly.

You blink, avoiding his eyes. "Uh, hey. Sorry about... not replying. I ran out of—"

Abby chuckles, smiles like he wasn't just judging your entire being, and shakes his head. He returns to draping his arm around your shoulder protectively. "No need to explain. We're glad you're safe. Let's go home."

Your brows furrow as Abby guides your walk. We're? We?

It's an obvious thing that once a member is involved, all of them are. Just... where are the others? Abby is the only one here.

You stray your eyes, landing on a window.

In the dim reflection, three pairs of glowing, golden eyes point at you in the distance. Ah. There they are. Watching, waiting.

Ugh. You look away. Jinu's never this level of creepy. He's not present again, as always.

You don't notice Abby nodding his head curtly next to you.

— need .. need to include more horrors..... ngl I'm stuck between funny or horrific yan!saja boys ,,

— also if you're wondering why Jinu isn't here, I just prefer not to include him in general! yeah my bad, in my other fics he's just kinda hanging around

— why's it so hard for me to write yandere (says the yandere blog)

[yasministration]

We're all adults here - Steve Rogers

Summary: Reader covers up when training outside with the team because someone just happened to cover her in hickies the night before. But what happens when reader is forced to take her cover-up off? 0.6k+ wc

Going outside in the summer heat to practice with the team was not what you had in mind, especially when the modern indoor training facilities were all available, with a track just as big, and more importantly, air conditioning that worked perfectly well. Normally, you wouldn't have a problem with it, putting on shorts and a sports bra before joining Natasha outside, but usually, your boyfriend didn't go so crazy in bed the night before. Steve, ever so worked up after not seeing you for a few days while on a mission, had come home, making a beeline to your room where he finally pushed you up against the wall, pressing kisses on every inch of your skin before taking you on every piece of furniture he could find.

You felt Steve's guilty gaze on you the second you met with the rest of the team outside, clad in a thin sports jacket and shorts. At least you looked cute, despite how quickly you were going to overheat. "Oh you're crazy crazy." Comments Natasha the instance she sees you, beginning her warmup around the track. You quickly join her, rolling your eyes playfully at her, though it's hard to ignore the way you immediately feel the way the long sleeves are clinging onto your skin the second you start to perspire.

By the end of your laps on the track, your face is all red and you need to lean on your knees to catch your breath, panting heavily. You didn't think one little piece of clothing would have such an effect on your performance, but apparently it did, making you fan your hands in front of your face in hopes of helping with the heat. "Y/n just take it off, what's going on?" Remarks Clint bemusedly. "Yeah we all know it's too hot for this kind of clothing. Is there a particular reason you're so dressed up?" You put your hands on your hips, chest heaving up and down as you digest Bucky's question. You shake your head, gratefully accepting the cool bottle of water your boyfriend offers you, a guilty grimace on his face.

Steve's cheeks are flushed pink, and whether that's due to the warmup or how close you guys are to being found out, he doesn't know. The team have known about the two of you before you even knew, clueless about the other's feelings, but Steve, being the old soul that he is, prefers to keep details about your sex life private when possible. "Does Mr. Loverboy have anything to do with this?" Teases Tony, only half-joking, hints of a smile on his face. You scoff, which immediately has your teammates looking at you quizzically. Did Mr. Loverboy have anything to do with it? "Okay Y/N, on a serious note, you're going to overheat training in that." Tony adds, his eyebrows furrowing. "Look, we're all adults here." You defend, spinning away from your team as your hand hesitantly reaches up to drag the zipper of your jacket down your torso. When you turn back around, the rest of your team is still staring expectantly at you, leaving you to watch as their reactions form on their faces.

"Holy shit!" Clint exclaims, words drowned by the loud wolf-whistles Natasha sends you way, eyes glued to your chest. "Okay, stop looking!" You scold her, and Bucky immediately looks away from you even though the words aren't directed at him, slapping a hand on the back of Steve's shoulder in pride. The dark hickies are scattered all around your chest and neck, dipping under your sports bra, leaving the rest for imagination. You chuckle uncomfortably, tightening your ponytail "Wild night, am I right?" You hear Steve choke over his drink before you see it, spinning around to take a look at his red face, water dribbling down his chin and onto his tight shirt as he catches his breath. "Sorry sweetheart." You mutter, taking a step towards him so you can press a kiss on his cheek, his hand instinctively coming up to rest on your waist.

"Why are you apologising to him? Look at yourself!"

[isenkus]

if ngm’s a boob guy what abt the other skd men .. asking for a friend (cough especially gaku and natsuki)

TITS ASS OR THIGHS: SAKADAYS MEN

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ warnings for mature content, minors do not interact. mentions of sex, hickeys, and the whole shebang. implied afab!reader

YOICHI NAGUMO prefers. . . tits! as i mentioned previously, nagumo is a huge fan of your tits. if he doesn't approach you to squeeze them at least once during the day, you know there's something wrong with him. he could spend all day with his head between your chest and he'd die a happy man. as i mentioned, he's a huge fan of mirror sex so he can see your tits bounce with every thrust.

runner up: ass. nagumo needs something to squeeze at the end of the day, and he legit does not care if your ass is big or small, square or peach, as long as he can get his tattooed hands on it, he loves it! slapping it should be his hobby, and he likes to see you prance around his penthouse after a rough night wearing only his shirt and your panties, because he likes to admire the hand marks on your cheeks. what a cheeky guy!

SHIN ASAKURA prefers. . . ass! shin's hand is always stuffed in the back pocket of your jeans, and he may or may not give a light squeeze if he's feeling like teasing you. if you work at sakamoto's with him, there's a chance you might catch him staring at your ass when you're restocking the shelves. there's times where shin uses your ass as a pillow when he's tired, and he has a photo album of pictures of his hand on your ass. talk about pinterest-worthy!

runner up: thighs. shin's hand is always on your thigh when he's driving. he uses you as a personal pillow, and your thighs are perfect for it. if you're sitting and he's sitting below you in between your legs, shin will turn his head around to plant some kisses on your thighs. it's his way of saying "i love you, and i'm here." shin likes your thighs, as he can trace his fingers on them when he and you cuddle.

GAKU prefers. . . thighs! gaku loves it when he's got you pinned down onto a wall, legs parted prettily just for him, so he can leave your thighs with purple bruises. gaku's an artist, and he loves to mark you as his, which is why your thighs are his favorite. he loves to grab them to pull you closer to him, especially during shower sex or when he's going down on you. it's his way of keeping you in check and under his spell. and when you're riding his face? he's making sure to admire the marks that his grip leaves on them.

runner up: tits. gaku's also a huge fan of your tits, and like nagumo, he loves to lay his head on your chest every once in a while (once a day). whenever you want to shut him up, just lift up your shirt, please. he’ll get the hint that he’s being too annoying, and as cocky as he is, gets straight to sucking, pinching, and nibbling. but hey! at least he shuts up 😸

NATSUKI SEBA prefers. . . tits! natsuki is a tit man period. he plays with your tits like he plays with tools (i’m sorry that sounds so bad, but you know he loves to work at the workshop.) and speaking of workshops, he has spent time building custom lingerie for you, sometimes made of metal (like those butterfly resin tops), sometimes made of resin, sometimes made of lace). you always find him unclasping your bra when you embrace him, so be ready to get down to business at any time.

runner up: thighs. natsuki likes to dress you up as his personal doll, so it’s natural for him to love your thighs. the garments he’s built for you are beautiful! he loves to grip on your thighs whenever he’s near you, and he loves to mark you there as well. now if you’re into pain and burns and you let natsu use one of them marking machines on your thigh….. he’ll die.

SHISHIBA prefers. . . ass! he’s an ass man, look at him. shishiba will most likely avoid teasing in public, but he does sneak a peek every here and there. he likes to watch your ass when you ride him, and you feel his fingers trace your back all the way to your ass, and it drives you insane. and this might be very specific, but if you gain a bit of weight, his eyes will go wide in the best way possible. because how is there now 50 pounds of ass he can enjoy? and he’ll let you with a subtle grab, and a firm look into your eyes saying “you look good.”

runner up: tits. shishiba also enjoys your tits. if you have sensitive nipples please make sure to stay 100 meters away from this man because he will take advantage of that if you dare misbehave. he enjoys the torture aspect of things, and somewhat looks forward to it. and if your boobs hurt because of pms or pmdd, he’ll get to massaging—no questions asked.

TARO SAKAMOTO prefers. . . thighs! i get the feeling that taro is a closet freak, and he has a thing for thighs. whether they’re slim or thick, taro literally does not give a fuck. if you worked with him back in his assassin days, he would purposely get you a garter belt so you could carry his backup weapons on your thighs. which means he’d constantly be all up in them. when you help him out with his convenience store (sorry aoi and hana, you’re out!) taro will make you wear the same garment, using it as an excuse for his hands to wonder. his excuse? “just wanted to make sure you’re safe.”

runner up: ass. hypothetically, let’s say taro has had to encounter female assassins who are all boob all bark no bite, i think he’d grow indifferent. when it comes to your ass, though, he’s always been paying attention. taro melts whenever he sees you, ass out wearing one of his shirts. he’s a sucker for #datass. he also reeks of massive virgin.

HEISUKE MASHIMO prefers. . . tits! ohhh heisuke. this cutie gets flustered whenever he sees your pretty tits. if he’s feeling confident and adventurous, there might be some hunter/prey roleplay going on, and the way in which you look topless in his little lense has him prematurely creaming his pants. he likes taking his time with your tits, and he may talk to them! it’s all in good fun, though, as most times it ends up in a tit job.

runner up: thighs. heisuke likes to drown in your cunt while he grips onto your thighs for dear life. send tweet. he prioritizes your pleasure always, and likes to take that as an opportunity to get to know your body better! he loves to lay down on your lap when he’s tired too, he says your thighs are the healing potion he needs. he likes to kiss your thighs as a sign of appreciation.

skd taglist (open): @ryescapades @yunxbin @maeveur @svsvke

[coolwyous]

┈─★ 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯, 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢?

         ⊹ ࣪ ˖ some mysterious disappearances in your small town have megan acting extremely weird— and insanely protective.

         ˎˊ˗  🌘  ⊹ ࣪ ˖  🔓୭˚.  ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

   ➴ pairing: werewolf!megan skiendiel x f!reader

          ➴ genre + wc: 4k, protective!megan, highkey brainrot fluff don't take this seriously ��

   ➴ you might want to tune in...: decode- paramore. ♫

megan was one of your best friends in elementary school, your dad having been close with her family. but it's easy to be close when your town is only a few thousand people, sleepy and quiet, little to wake up to. it felt like a culture shock to move in middle school, but you try not to give it much thought. you guys had kept in touch the first few years, but as you got busier and busier, it got harder to make time for your phone calls.

megan is the first one to come out to greet you when you move back home for a few months to finish your senior year. it was either forks, or moving to florida, and your better option is painfully obvious.

you're only a few boxes into unpacking when your giant dresser begins to tip out of the back of the moving truck, threatening to flatten you beneath it, before there's a body quickly catching it. your eyes meet, and she looks like a statue of atlas— effortlessly catching it on her back and propping it back up as if it's nothing. you're certain it would have crushed you, and you want to ask her how the hell she didn't get hurt beneath the giant thing, but before you know it, she's swooping you up in a giant hug, beaming from ear to ear.

"y/n, where the hell have you been, loca?!"

(it's been years, but she's taller than you expected her to be, and if lifting the dresser wasn't enough, the way her powerful arms wrap around you and squeeze you in their embrace hint that she's way, way stronger than she was back then when you were both just scrawny kids.)

-

she offers to be your tour guide to re-familiarize yourself with forks the weekend before you're supposed to start school. she's so animated, showing you around the whole town, and admittedly, most of it is the same— even megan. sweet, goofy, and so proud to be a forks native, she talks about the small mom and pop shops as if they're a wonder of the world. she takes you down to the beach even though it's the middle of a spring frost, but she doesn't care.

she takes you on a hike in the wooded area behind your house, and warns you not to come out at night due to all the wild animals that call the woods home. you see her seem most at home among the nature, pointing out cougar prints in the mud when you guys hike in the woods.

"aren't those wolf tracks?" you ask, noting a faded print up the trail. you're certain you make it up, but her face almost seems to fall, as if you've said something you shouldn't have.

"too big to be a wolf, it's gotta be a bear," she tells you, shaking her head, but something behind her eyes changes— you've spooked her.

-

you catch her constantly looking uncomfortable when her friends start to make digs at some classmate of yours, a family that megan's friends make abundantly clear they are not a fan of.

"they're just fucking weirdos," dani says about sophia and manon, the adopted sisters from a family that always happens to be gone camping when it's not raining.

"they've been pretty nice to me," you admit, though the most of your interactions have mostly just been them politely ignoring you as you're paired for work in a class you share.

megan looks up quickly from the game of tug-of-war she's playing with lara, her brows knitting together.

"please don't tell me you've talked to them?" she questions, and you simply give her a look, confused as to why she cares so much.

"like, once," you say, and she's closing the distance between you in seconds, a panicked look in her eye.

"promise me you'll keep your distance from them," she pushes, dropping her chin for her dark gaze to dig into yours.

"fine, you weirdo, i'll keep my distance," you roll your eyes, and you hear her sigh as if she's relieved... what the hell is she so weird about this for?

-

megan, out of nowhere one day just stops calling, stops texting, stops reaching out. you assume she's busy with lara and dani, considering they live downtown and attend a different school, but when the next day passes and you get no reply, you're confused as to where the hell your best friend disappeared to. three days go by with no replies by the time you take it upon yourself to drive up to the old property dani's family own in the woods where the three spend most of their free time playing with junk or just talking amongst themselves. that's when you see her— fresh, dark ink embedded into the skin of her left shoulder, and what looks like the fading indents of teeth just beneath.

"did you ditch me to get matching tattoos?" you question, trying to piece it together. the rain is matting her hair down against her face, and her eyes look heavy, tired.

"you can't be here," lara says quickly, and you notice something similar on her arm— a sigil tattoo, and a bite mark just underneath.

"y/n, please," megan cuts in, reaching for your wrist to turn you both around, walking you in the direction back of your car. "you really shouldn't have come."

"are you going to tell me why you and your friends look like you just got caught summoning a demon?" you laugh, but she doesn't laugh with you.

"y/n, it's just like, really complicated stuff with our families," she says anxiously, glancing over her shoulder as if at any moment, she'll be caught with you. "please just trust me. i'll text you later."

"i just wanted to make sure you were okay," you press, giving her an anxious look as she gets you back in your car. you motion to her arm. "did you all get bit by something?"

"i'm okay," she reassures you. "but i'll be better once i know you're safe and out of here."

"megan," you press. "please talk to me."

"i will." she nods, and it brings you the slightest reassurance at how serious she seems about her promise. "soon. for now, stay out of it, and stay away from sophia and manon. please."

you drive away, and in your rear view mirror, you see her walking back to the other two. in a flash, the three of them are gone, disappearing into the woods behind them.

-

a week later, and megan is finally getting back to her normal self. she calls you friday night, asking if you can make time for her the next morning. you have half a mind to turn her down, but you can't stay mad at her for long— especially remembering how panicked she seemed about whatever she was going through.

it's raining the next morning, when she comes over to come get you for your coffee hang out, and dani and lara are in the back of her car to join the two of you. the moment the door swings open and your eyes lock, you can't help but smile, feeling relieved to see her in one piece.

but... megan does something weird.

your eyes are locked the whole time you walk up to the car, hoping for some kind of greeting or indication that she's happy to see you, but all she does is just stare at you, her expression blank. then suddenly, her eyebrows furrow, she looks almost.... pained? she pushes back in the drivers seat with a gasp as soon as you open the car door, and dani and lara instantly share a concerned look between the two of them.

"did you seriously just fucking—" dani starts, but megan cuts her off.

"y/n," she greets simply, her eyes lighting up as soon as you get into the passenger seat. the pained expression melts away from her face, replaced instantly by a smile. "missed you."

"you're kidding me," lara groans, tossing her head back against the seat, but you're lost as to what is going on.

"will someone tell me what's going on?" you beg, desperate for some clarity.

"it's just been a long week," megan waves them off. "let's go get something to eat, i'm fucking starving."

-

the four of you are at the local diner, and you're in absolute shock at just how much the three of them are ordering. between the trio, they've ordered enough food to cover the entire table, and they make no small work between them to take it all down plate by plate.

"are you guys bulking or what?" you question, confused as to how exactly they can still be hungry.

"what meg said. it's been a looong week," dani smirks, stealing another pancake off of lara's plate.

"did you hear about the mountain lion attacks this week?" you ask, spotting a man across from you with the newspaper. your dad had warned you not to go too far into the woods after another hiker had come up mauled to death.

megan's face goes stony, her fork dropping against the plate. "how do you know about that?"

"it's all over the newspapers," you tell her. "they cancelled a mountain club hike because of it."

"it's those fucking—" dani starts, but lara swiftly kicks her under the table and shuts her up.

"it's what?" you prod, but the three of them share a look between them, a look you're starting to get sick of. "i just wanted to make sure you guys were safe. what the fuck bit both of you last week?"

"we just played too hard with dani's dog," lara says weakly, and you see daniela pull the sleeve of her jacket up to cover her arm. a lucky guess would tell you that she probably has the matching tattoo and bite combination as the other two.

"be so forreal, lar. each of you, in the exact same spot?" you ask. "do you guys think i'm stupid or what? what are you hiding?"

a crack of glass against the table and the sound of dripping liquid shocks you out of your questioning. you look up quickly to realize megan has accidentally crushed her coffee mug in her grip, the ceramic clanging as it falls to the table, a few shards left in her hand.

"what the fuck?" you gape.

"sorry, sorry," megan shakes her head. "please stay out of it, y/n."

"if you don't talk to me, i'm going to start looking around for answers," you threaten, feeling your neck heat up. the three of them avoid your gaze, reaching for napkins to clean up megan's mess, but you can't handle being around their weirdness any more.

you storm out of the diner but you hear her right behind you, a strong arm pulling you back. since when was megan's grip that powerful, since when was her skin so warm?

"y/n, i know things have been super weird," she starts, and you don't want to bring yourself to look at her, but you can feel her eyes pleading with you. "but i promise, everything is happening to keep you safe."

"i'm going to figure this out sooner rather than later," you threaten, finally looking up at her.

"you need to back off," she nearly growls, her voice low and heavy. she softens slightly, and you see something change in her eyes. "i can't let anything happen to you."

"what would happen to me?" you ask quickly. "megan, please. i can help you."

"just stay out of it, please." the look in her eyes says it all. she's begging at this point.

you pull your arm from her grasp and turn to start walking towards the library. you need answers, and you need them now.

-

try as you might, your research yields nothing. your best bet is to guess that she is joining some kind of weird occult thing with lara and dani, and you're not quite sure where that leaves you. if she's embarrassed about doing some weird spells in the forest, why is she acting like you catching her would cause you some sort of harm?

your walk home has given you plenty of time to think about how you're going to approach it. you don't want to give megan the cold shoulder, but if she's going to be weird and secretive with you, you're going to demand answers whether she wants it or not.

you don't want your dad asking about where you've been, and you know he's in the living room watching TV, so you hop the gate into your backyard to enter through the back door and hopefully escape his view. you're unlocking the back door when a cracking branch catches your attention, sending you spinning to try and see where the noise is coming from.

you see a few moving figures in the tree line of the woods up against your backyard. you feel your heart start to race before you see a familiar shape emerge from the trees, locking eyes with you.

"megan? what the fuck are you doing in the woods this late?" you question.

she's running up to you, panicked expression in her eyes as she glances behind herself, back at the woods.

"i thought you got home forever ago," she says, almost angry, as if you've ruined something for her. "you can't be out here. you need to go inside, like, now."

"this is my backyard," you push back in confusion. "what is–"

megan steps in your eyeline, blocking your view of the woods behind you. she's breathing heavily, her skin looking flushed. you realized in the freezing weather, she's in a stupid pair of shorts and a t shirt. isn't she fucking cold?

but then she speaks, and the harshness in her low voice makes your pulse race.

"go inside, y/n, and lock the door." she grabs you hand, her skin impossibly warm, and places it on the doorhandle, as if to rush you. she glances back over her shoulder, before looking at you with a panicked expression "please."

you don't know what's going on, but her panic is enough to push you into working the lock, pressing the keycode in. you look back over her shoulder and spot a figure, a person, at the edge of the treeline. your toes go numb at the sight— they stand there, menacingly, blankly, terrifyingly.

"who is that?" you try to ask, but your voice is a mere whisper. your hands are shaking too hard to work the lock and you feel yourself stuck with a scream in your throat.

megan yanks the door open after you finally press the code in, and you see the wood splinter from how hard she pulls it.

"i'm not fucking asking," she says in a low growl, her hand on your waist to guide you into the doorway. "inside, now. close the window and don't look out."

"who the fuck is in that my backyard, megan?" you ask shakily, but whatever is happening, time is up. megan gives you an apologetic look and pushes you forcefully inside, slamming the door behind you. you hear your dad snore from the living room and rush to go wake him up, but freeze before you make it to the living room.

why didn't megan want you looking outside? 

you know it's probably a bad move to deliberately disobey her, but you’re on the cusp of getting answers. you won’t let yourself be pushed away again. 

you take shaky steps back into the kitchen, your breaths quickening as you approach the window. you push the curtain to the side and put your eye against the crease of the window that forms.

in the sliver of the moonlight, you spot it by the treeline again, the form of the person waiting. they’re just standing, and you have half a mind to take a picture of them and report them in the morning, but before you can do anything, the person hunches over, as if they’re waiting, watching for something.

then, your stomach lurches. a bear, so much more massive than you ever thought they could get in forks, washington, bursting out of the treeline, diving directly towards the person.

you clamp a hand over your mouth to cover your scream, and realize quickly it’s not a bear. but a bear is the only thing that describes the massive size of the creature. shaggy black hair and enormous in stature, your eyes feel like they’re playing tricks on you. a wolf, the size of a large bear, but it’s not attacking the person. you see it snap it’s massive jaws once, twice, the sound of their closure loud enough to reverberate to you even through the shut window several yards away in your backyard. 

you’re horrified by what you think you’re about to see, a mauling in your own backyard, but you suddenly spot another two giant wolves rushing out from the trees. a smaller golden colored one, and another black one with a white patch just above the eyeline, both snapping their jaws in tandem with the first one. almost as quickly as they emerge, the person disappears into the woods, moving nearly so quickly you could swear they disappear in a blink. 

you’re not sure whether to call someone, something, anything at this point to figure out what the hell just happened in your backyard. you pull your phone up to try and get a picture of the creatures, so much bigger than you could have possibly imagined wolves could get, but the golden one and the white patched one have already disappeared right back into the woods.

the first one stays, though.

you pull back the curtain all the way to try and get a better picture, but the moment the moonlight hits it, you drop your phone in shock.

those eyes. those familiar, painfully comforting dark eyes.

it’s looking straight at you. you don’t know how, and you don’t know why, but it feels like an answer to all the questions you’ve been asking.

and just as quickly, it disappears into the woods, following the other two.

-

who the hell are you about to try to convince about what you just saw?

you fall asleep on the couch next to your dad, too shocked to make it into your room. the next morning, you wake up at the crack of dawn to escape out of the house and seek her out. you need answers, and you need them now.

you drive up to the avanzini property, wondering if you’ll see them there, and you park in the dirt driveway just as you spot them. you see dani first, then lara, but by the time you see megan, you see a slightly taller girl in front of the three of them. before you can recognize her, the taller girl is shoving megan backwards, the younger girl flying backwards and down into the dirt. she kneels above her, looking over at dani and lara, who you half expect to do something, or at the very least, you expect megan to do something.

but none of them do, and the older girl says something to the three of them before landing two fast, painful looking punches to megan’s face. you feel your heart lurch as you watch her just sit and take it, the girl grabbing megan by the collar and saying something just inches from her face before she lands one final blow and steps back.

“yunjin,” lara says, as if she’s warning the girl to your presence.

“get off of her, what the fuck?” you nearly scream, pushing her away from megan. you can’t understand why megan, this insanely strong, rather stubborn girl, would just lay there and take such a harsh looking beating.

“no, it’s fine y/n,” megan tells you, getting up from the ground as she realizes you’re there. you wince as you see the angry red of her cheek and eyebrow from the blows, her nose dripping with blood. you want to turn and give this yunjin girl a piece of your mind, but you remember what exactly you’re there to establish in the first place.

“you owe me so many explanations,” you warn, pointing a finger in megan’s face, but the puppy dog eyes she gives you is enough to soften you. you confirm something you had almost hoped you were making up— those eyes are the ones you saw last night.

“so you’re the girl.” yunjin’s nostrils flare, clearly displeased with your interruption. she eyes you up and down, then glares back over at megan. “the patrols, the hunts, the nights, all this for her?”

“yes,” megan says firmly, wiping the blood from her nose with the back of her wrist. 

yunjin glares at you for a little longer, before looking back over at dani and lara. she shakes her head, then focuses back at megan.

“make sure she understands,” she snaps coldly, motioning to you. “nobody else can know. you’ve put everyone in danger. all over a girl.”

“it was worth it,” megan pushes back bravely, albeit a bit quietly. yunjin eyes her, her jaw hard.

“i don’t know why i got stuck with you as my second-in-command, but remember who you need to put first. just because you imprinted doesn’t mean you can just leave your pack behind to protect some girl,” she hisses, before turning to walk back inside.

“what is this about?” you ask, trying to piece it together from yunjin’s cryptic comments.

megan rubs her neck, her nose wrinkling. 

“dani told her about how i um…” she lets out a quiet breath. “i did something, when i saw you again.”

“okay.” at this point, anything will be better than your hypothesis of a cult. “what did you do?”

“i just kind of, always knew i wanted to protect you,” she starts quietly. “and after someone turns for the first time, your instincts like, reveal stuff to you.”

“turns?” you question, but you figure there are more important questions at hand. “what kind of stuff?”

you see her smile nervously– a full 180 from the angry, dark-eyed girl who was barking you around the night before.

“it just tells me who i’m meant to be with or whatever, no pressure.”

“lots of pressure,” you laugh, confused about what she’s rambling about.

“it also makes it impossible for me to not worry about you,” she goes on. “and you’re super fucking stubborn about getting yourself into dangerous situations.”

“i’d be less stubborn if you just talked to me,” you remind her. she lets out a quiet sigh.

“you wouldn’t believe any of this, if i tried.”

“just try me,” you plead, reaching fo her hand.

“before i imprinted, i liked asking the pack to just take a lap behind your property, just to make sure there was nothing there that wasn’t supposed to be there.” her voice is shaky, gentle, like she’s trying to pick her words to not overwhelm you. “after i imprinted, it made me go crazy thinking something would happen to you. like i just kept getting this feeling. i made us all go back after the first patrol. i’m glad we did. last night, something tried to get to you.”

“she’s so annoying about you, y/n.” dani finally cuts in, and you’ve forgotten that they’re both still there, standing off to the side. “i liked you so much better when you weren’t the only thing she thinks about, it’s like a radio stuck on one fucking song.”

“what?” you ask, hoping someone will clarify.

“they can like, read my mind when we’re shifted,” megan confesses sheepishly.

“what do you think about?” you ask curiously, and the girl’s eyes go wide.

“that’s way too embarrassing,” she quickly shakes her head, but lara lets out a loud snort. 

“the last thing was about how she wishes she would have kissed you, before she was fighting that vampire,” lara butts in, and megan shoots her a glare that speaks volumes.

“my protector,” you grin, wrapping your arms around her neck.

“i’d never let anything happen to you,” megan tells you firmly, her hands wrapping around your waist as if to anchor you there. her eyes are warm, imploring, sincere as she looks into yours. “ever.”

“i believe it,” you tell her, and the way she lights up makes your heart race in your chest. “i think i owe you a token of gratitude.”

“great. another thing we’re never going to hear her shut the fuck up about,” dani groans.

the both of you ignore her. you have enough questions, and not enough answers, but at the very least, you can let megan kiss you as if it’s the start of solving something.

[wonwoonlight]

take a chance / jeon wonwoo

Wonwoo x Reader // 1.7k words // nothing but fluff lol they're idiots

a/n: if you cant tell im absolutely insane abt this wonwoo. 100000% self indulgent and 100% not proofread as always ehe <3 v lowkey inspired also by niki - take a chance with me

He drives me crazy, it's so beyond me

How he'd look at me dead in the eye and stay unaware

Niki - Take A Chance with Me

[☆]

Wonwoo has never really been interested in romance.

When he was six and his friends started talking about girls were icky, he couldn't have cared enough to even think about girls in particular.

When he was fourteen and his close cousin who was practically his big brother told him about his first girlfriend, Wonwoo had simply nodded and congratulated him because the older guy looked like he was waiting for it even though he didn't get what's there to congratulate.

When he was seventeen and another cousin got married, he thought a little about what it'd be like to commit yourself for the rest of your life to another person.

Anyhow, now he's twenty seven and still pretty much free from the dating experience.

He just simply couldn't be bothered to try nor was he even curious enough to try.

There's too much risk. Too much things to do. Too many factors to think about. It's too complicated and Wonwoo has never been a fan of complicated.

Sure, the older he gets the more he understands about the attraction and whatnot. But the few dates that he has been on (which he could count with his two hands) was entirely due to his friends setting up with someone and his inability to say no the second time even though he did reject their so-called-help the first time around.

They eventually get the hint and stop setting Wonwoo up on a blind date.

He never sees romance as a necessity and he doesn't feel the need to have a partner, what is there more to say?

“I lost the floor 12 Abyss again.” You pout, half tempted to throw away the joystick in your hands. “I'm never playing this game again, I'm telling you.”

Wonwoo chuckles and tells you to move as he slides next to you, taking the joystick away and getting ready to restart your game.

“You just suck at this.” He teases, not minding your glare because he's way too used to it at this point. “And you say that everytime but here you are, still playing.”

“Shut up.” You pout, both impressed and unimpressed at the way he easily goes through the stages.

“Done.” He grins, all nine shining stars looking back at you.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don't.”

“I do!” You take back the joystick from him and close the window. “You don't even play this game! This is bullshit!”

He laughs under his breath and ruffles your hair, saying something about how he can't help being good at it.

You like that side of Wonwoo, as you often tell him, because people have always said that Wonwoo is quiet–that he doesn't talk a lot and it could be awkward being left alone with him.

And whilst it's not entirely untrue and you've been there too, you also know that Wonwoo is much more than his lack of words.

Wonwoo talks a lot once he's comfortable. You just need to be very patient and understanding about his silence before he gets there.

You… have been plenty patient, amongst other things.

You're patient enough to get where you are even though you've never imagined you'd get here.

Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to be comfortable with you that he doesn't mind inviting you over to his place with no other companies.

Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to not mind the fact that you like him and not act weird about it.

Here, meaning being close with Wonwoo despite the fact that you've confessed to him about your feelings but you're still here in his place, right next to him with not a single air of awkwardness between you two.

Turning off the Playstation, you settle on Wonwoo's sofa and decide to scroll through Instagram instead. You sigh, catching his attention, and when he asks you what's wrong, you simply shake your head no.

“What are you sighing about this time?”

This is something that people don't know about Wonwoo either: he prods when it comes to people he cares about.

Granted, he does it exactly three times to see if the other party would relent by then. He does that because that's how he is, he once tells you, because he rarely opens up at the first question but eventually cracks on the third time. That, by the third question, he's already had enough time to consider whether or not he really wants to talk about it.

“Nothing important.” You try to reassure him. “Just silly stuff.”

Wonwoo looks at you pointedly, but you simply smile and turn back to your phone, which he supposes means you don't feel like bringing it up just yet.

He closes his book and puts it on the coffee table, leaning closer to you to see what you're up to.

You wonder if Wonwoo knows what his action means to your poor, poor heart. If he's aware that, as much you said you're cool despite your confession, you still have romantic attractions towards him and confessing doesn't mean you're no longer affected by anything and everything he does.

After watching you go through your phone for a bit, it is quite easy for Wonwoo to realize what might be the core of your problem.

“You're thinking about why you're single again, aren't you?”

Your fingers freeze and so does your entire body, and Wonwoo would've laughed at how surprised you look right now, but he knows you're actually bothered by this problem from time to time though he doesn't exactly understand why.

And for someone who's observative and quite sensitive when it comes to things around him, Wonwoo can be a bit dense, still.

On what kind of universe does he think this topic would be okay to talk about with someone who literally confessed to you and somewhat got rejected though not explicitly?

“I don't want to talk about it.” You whine despite the fast beating of your heart. You honestly don't think you have it in you to talk about this with Wonwoo. At least not just yet.

“Why?”

You look at him, incredulous. “You know why.”

“Because you like me?”

You shrug, not wanting to deny it.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks, voice very gentle and careful.

“What?”

“I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive.” You press your lips together as he starts. At least, he has the conscience to know that. “But… what is it about being in a relationship that appeals so much to you?”

You pause before you answer, wondering what to say. “Do you want me to actually answer that?”

“If you don't mind answering.”

Wonwoo wonders if he makes you uncomfortable by asking such question. But if there's anyone he can ask about this, it can only be you. No one else would answer it in a way that he would understand. No one else would give him the sincerity that you'd give in your answer.

He feels bad knowing you like him and still asking you like this. But he supposes you're both close enough for that discussion, that he doesn't want to let your feelings get in the way of your precious friendship.

Perhaps he's selfish, but he doesn't want to be too conscious when it comes to your relationship with him despite everything.

“I guess it's just the fact that someone's always there for you.” You start, not looking at him even though his gaze is locked at you. “That there's this person who… you can tell everything to, from your secrets to what you feel like eating today. That when you want to do something, you can always run to them first before wondering if anyone else is available. That–”

“But that's already how we are?” He cuts you off.

You stare at him wide-eyed, wondering if it's some kind of prank even though you know he's not that kind of person.

“That's already what I do with you.” He says one more time–more firm and somewhat determined with a hint of confusion. “Why do you think you're in my place so often?”

“I… I– I don't know? You're… bored? And I happen to be free?” You stutter a little, not used to the way he's staring at you.

“I am bored.” He agrees, things suddenly crystal clear in his eyes. “But I'm bored because I don't have you around. And I want you here. That's why I asked all the time if you're available.”

You open your lips to say something–anything, but nothing comes out because your heartbeat is ringing throughout your body right up to your ears.

“You're the only person I send those posts about places I want to visit because I want to visit with you. I don't send them to anyone else. I don't even like going out all that much.”

“I… I don't understand?”

“Are we in a relationship?” He asks rather bluntly, mixing all your feelings together with one single question.

“Wonwoo, I don't think this is how you should go around it–”

“Have we been dating all this time?” He asks one more time, not even seemingly nervous about it.

He looks at you like he's expecting an answer, but how are you supposed to answer that? You've simply been happy that you get to spend time with him. You didn't think for one second that he might be into you despite all the time he asks you to accompany him somewhere and all the time you're alone in his place.

“I've been too oblivious, haven't I?” He concludes by himself, your silence doesn't deter him at all.

He reaches for your cheek, and if he notices how warm your face is, he doesn't mention it. But he caresses the apple of your cheek as he looks at you with the gentlest reflection you've ever seen in his eyes.

“I'm sorry it took me too long.” He whispers, and you bite your lip so hard to hide your smile because you don't want to be too happy before anything's decided. You're not sure what he's trying to say, your head is spinning with thoughts and your heart is beating at an erratic rhythm. “Do you mind… letting me learn a bit more?”

“About what?” You whisper back.

“Being a good boyfriend?” He smiles when you do too, feeling warmth all over his chest at how shy you seem to be. “You know I've never done this before, right? Let me take a chance with you?

You finally let yourself grin at this, no longer able to control the happiness blooming within you at whatever this might mean.

And as you lean your face more into his palm, Wonwoo thinks he's ready to take all the risks that might come together with whatever the future has in store as long as he has you by his side.

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🤍 charlie walker boyfriend headcanons 🤍

charlie walker x reader

. my sweet, sweet baby charlie - this man is so obsessed with you

. like it's low-key creepy but in such a sweet way you'd never even know

. i like to imagine you probably met in his film club, but he'd probably seen you in the hallways at school and he was just smitten after that. or even if you sat behind him in history class or smth and he tried his hardest to not look at you

. will be the most loyal boyfriend you could ever imagine, this man would die (and kill) for you in a heartbeat

. okay so, either you had to ask him out OR a bunch of mutual friends grouped together to get yous together because they were just sick of your pining

. honestly, robbie's ears are talked off about you, poor guy can't catch a break

. speaking of robbie, he definitely teases charlie about his little crush and will subtly drop hints in front of you just to embarrass him

. but robbie is also definitely 1000% your biggest fan, this man would literally make a movie just about how awkward your get together was, he adores you and thinks you're perfect for his best friend

. charlie stutters a lot when talking to you, he just struggles to believe he actually pulled you, the girl of his dreams. and he BLUSHES too, omg this man is a walking mess for you

. movie dates ofc are a given, if you're not a fan of horror movies, charlie will still happily sit and watch whatever you want. i personally think that charlie would draw the line at rom-coms tho, but that's just my personal opinion. like he will, but he'll criticise it all the way to the credits

. charlie is 100% a night owl. you'll probably be waking up as charlie is getting ready to go to sleep. not that he likes watching you sleep or anything 😳

. BOARD GAMES - play some cluedo with this pathetic little man, he lives for board game nights. play some music in the background, a bottle of cheap rum or smth between the two of you and that's charlie's dream night fr

. absolutely loves holding your hand in public. I don't think that's charlie's that big on pda but he's a sucker for hand holding and nose kisses

. is the king of remembering little details about you. remember that necklace that you got when you were six but lost somehow? no? charlie definitely does and would probably get you a new one

. his favourite thing is your eyes. it's his absolute favourite colour. he'd get a bracelet specifically with a stone that is the same colour so he can look at it when he misses you

. loves listening to music with you and making you your own playlist. he's the stereotypical romantic of where he loves sharing earphones with you so you can listen together 🥹

. okay I hate to admit it, but charlie is probably a terrible cook. BUT he tries his hardest to cook your favourite foods for you just to see you smile

. the most giggly, awkward boyfriend you've ever had and ever will have. he loves your smile, he's always trying to make you laugh

. I have a theory that charlie's laugh is very contagious. this man would giggle once and have the whole class in a fit of giggles because his laugh is just so adorable

. wear. his. shirts. this man LIVES to see you in his clothes

. would probably eventually end up giving you the ones he doesn't wear anymore

."they look better on you anyway" 😖 an absolute sweetheart

. soft, gentle kisses are the usual. he's so gentle with you like he's scared you'll break ALTHOUGH when he kisses you, he will grip at your waist really tight

. will not, under any circumstances, have you involved with the ghostface killings. charlie can be quite frightening when he's angry so he makes sure jill knows her place

. would probably lie to you about his involvement, as much as he hates lying to you, he couldn't stand the thought of you hating him and leaving

. no seriously, charlie would have a full on mental break down if you were to ever leave him or break up with him

. speaking of breaking up with him, lol, yeah no... not happening. it's the last thing he'd let you do

. the relationship is low-key a bit toxic but in a 'you can't leave, you're the only person I have' kinda way? y'know?

. sex would be hella awkward at first, charlie would have absolutely no clue on what to do, poor boy :(

. he just wants to make you feel good. speaking of which, PRAISE. praise this man, he thrives of knowing how good he makes you feel

. loves you on top, and when you tug at his hair when you're close to finishing

. is the most whiny mess during sex. he's so LOUD. he moans, groans, whines and whimpers so much and he's not embarrassed by it either

. makes sure you cum first every single time. charlie will not stop until you do, even if it take until morning

. king of aftercare. he'll clean you up, cuddle with you, talk with you, make you a cup of tea and a snack, All OF IT

. don't be fooled though, he loves some aftercare himself. playing with his hair as you lie on him, completely blissed out. cuddle him, tell him how good he was, and boy MELTS

. overall the dream boyfriend and i'm desperate for a charlie in my life (rory culkin a chance, please?!)

. 100/10 would recommend

[llamagoddessofficial]

How would the Bad sanses feel about kids?

Horror isn't a fan of how children have a habit of immediately bursting into terrified tears when they look at him. Kinda rude. He copes by deliberately scaring them; if a kid looks at him he pulls his scariest face. Might even say "boo" just for effect. Deep down, though, he does like kids - before it all went wrong in the Underground he used to dream about being an uncle to Papyrus' future children. When he's around you, he catches himself thinking about it... his own kids would like his face just the way it was, wouldn't they? So long as he was a good dad, it wouldn't matter what he looked like. That sounds so wonderful.

If he somehow finds a kid who isn't frightened of him, he will go full papa bear mode. Horror's the most likely of the bad guys to find a lost child and scoop them up.

Dust... avoids children like the plague. He shares Horror's habit of deliberately scaring them. He has a lot of reasons. He's a dangerous mass murderer, that's one; he also doesn't do great with noise. The sound of a crying or shouting child grates at him like nails on a chalkboard. Not to mention the fact that he's had enough of dealing with childish behaviour after a few hours around Killer.

... He also doesn't like being reminded of all the kids that used to live in his Underground. He doesn't like looking at little faces and remembering how Papyrus used to smile at him, the big brother who was supposed to keep him safe, the exact same way. The thing about having high LV is you get very used to being numb... those stabs of emotion, when they do get through, are too much.

He likes seeing you interact with kids, though. You're much better than he is, softer and kinder. Makes him think about what could've been.

Killer is great with kids. He's exciting, he's funny, he's got endless energy. He perfectly channels the 'fun uncle who clearly wants kids and would be an amazing dad', and the presence of children grounds him, taking the edge off of his worse traits and continuously pulling him down to reality. But he's also a terrible influence when left unattended. Give him an hour, and he'll be showing them how to properly hold a knife, telling them how crime isn't really that bad, and that they should totally just bite their bully as hard as they possibly can.

If a child lets him pick them up, Killer will constantly be trying to catch your eye. His huge grin speaks volumes; so when are WE gonna make our own one of these?

Nightmare says he doesn't like children. He definitely acts like it, too, he's cold and intimidating. But deep down, he's always wanted kids of his own - and he's bitter, because before he was corrupted he used to be really good with kids. Dream was (and still is) better at entertaining children but Nightmare could comfort the introverts; shy kids who cried around Dream would happily fall asleep on Nightmare's shoulder. Not anymore.

The thing is... when kids are around him for a while, you'll start to see hints of something underneath the grump. You'll notice he never raises his voice. You'll hear how his tone slips into something stern, yet calm. You'll see the 'strict but fair' edge to his sockets and mouth, you'll notice how despite all the talk of not caring his tentacles will ALWAYS catch anyone whose tiny feet are unsteady. There's a dad under there.

He's in no place for kids right now. But he does think about it - when you're around he thinks far more than he'd ever admit. He imagines giving someone the childhood he never had. If only.

[martialartslover7]

Sakura VS Sasuke (Kage Summit Arc - Rewrite)

Alright, I cannot hide this anymore. I HAVE to show this. Because I was so freaking annoyed with how the writing of Naruto Shippuden took a serious nosedive after the Pain arc (literally, the only big positive I can name, is Sasuke FINALLY killing that son of a bitch, Danzo, the guy just had it coming with his disgusting anti-Uchiha sentiment, abusing their power for his own aspirations), especially how the Five Kage Summit arc got concluded, with all of Sakura's sacrifices, once again, ultimately leading to yet another failure of hers, which, for some of her supposed IQ level, is just disgraceful (and mind you, I am not blaming Sakura, I am blaming Kishimoto for being a living laughingstock when it comes to writing females, I repeat myself, but this shit seriously gets on my nerves here, because the fandom is just as illiterate, as he is in writing any character with a vagina, on top of being a toxic cesspool too). You can dislike Sakura all you want, but it doesn't change the fact, she is part of the main cast, yet during this arc, where she could have done SOMETHING, she only ended up being a liability, yet again. All that training, all this yearning and devotion, all the sacrifices she made to get to this point to try and face Sasuke on her own terms, and she only ends up hitting a brickwall, as always. As if, all her attributes mean absolutely nothing, and she only exists for Naruto, or anyone else to save her, even in her best form. Yeah, no.

FUCK. EVERY. SINGLE PART. ABOUT ALL THIS.

And well, with all this in mind, I decided to rewrite the entire endgame portion of this arc, down to the root of it. Instead of Sakura hesitating, you will NOT be seeing this with me, the girls in Naruto are all queens, and deserve to be more than just the labels that Kishimoto put on them. She won't kill Sasuke, but she will beat the ever-living crap out of him. He is injured, blinded, exhausted and drained of almost all chakra. It would be STUPID to not see the chance, and get all in. Maximum effort.

And I was actually inspired to write this story, thanks to another dedicated Sakura fan on Twitter, who made this lengthy post, showcasing their efforts to rewrite that portion of the Kage Summit arc, as well. Go and check them out, this story wouldn't have been possible without them. In fact, I took a few notes from it, to write the fight choreography. You will notice, once I show you.

Side-note: And unlike what the canon story did, I will NOT go this route with the cast, Kakashi and the other Jonin will slowly catch on to the fact that, Danzo, and the Konoha elders, had always been the true evil, this whole time. And the assault on the Leaf village, along with the fact that, Naruto's arrival was uncomfortably delayed, all can be traced back to the elders, and mind you, for those who have read my "The Hero, The Blind & The Martyr" story (click the title to immediately get there, to get back up to speed, especially in the final portion), as a follow-up of the rewrite, Nagato had dropped a hint for them to take seriously. That there is a traitor among them, and he wasn't talking about Sasuke. So yes, once the war is over, do not expect Kakashi to play bootlicker to these assholes. And Sasuke WILL be getting the peace and pardoning he, and the rest of his family and clan, so dearly deserve. And Sakura is not blind to it either, anymore.

Especially not Neji, Shikamaru and Kiba, whose families unveil more evidence of what the elders had done, behind the scenes. Yes, another link, connecting to this story, and that is this one:

"Weird Wednesday Headcanon: Outside of Team 7, Neji, Shikamaru and Kiba sympathize the most with Sasuke's fall from grace after the Five Kage Summit"

And now, time for the main event, here is the link:

Sakura VS Sasuke (Kage Summit Arc - Rewrite) - AO3

PEACE.

[iinsertblognamee]

chelsea matches and jerks

summary ― you go to support your girlfriend at the FA Women's cup. some guy sitting next to you doesn't get the hint to back off. Sam takes things into her own hands.

pairing ― sam kerr x reader

warning/s ― fluff

based off this request

You could feel the excitement of the crowd surrounding you, a smile on your face as you rubbed your hands together to create some sort of warmth. It wasn’t every day that you got front-row seats at the FA Women’s Cup wearing your girlfriend’s number proudly. 

As much as you were enjoying the buzz from the fans, you felt nerves for Sam. You knew how much these games meant to her and you could only hope for a good outcome. You looked around the stadium, blue swarming - music playing as you mumbled the words along. 

It was about twenty minutes before the game was set to start when two guys sat down in the two vacant seats next to you, wearing the chelsea blue that matched yours. Sending a friendly smile to both of them, before turing your attention up to the big screen. 

You smiled to yourself as you overheard them talking about Sam, pride swelling up in your heart. You didn’t think much of the gaze the man sitting directly next to you kept sending your way, shifting your body so you were looking opposite his direction. That should fix it. 

The crowd starts to cheer as you watch both teams make their way onto the pitch - you of course joining in as your spot Sam. Your heart starting to beat just that little bit faster as your brain finally comprehends what was about to happen. 

The whistle goes off before you know it, the crowd getting behind the players, as you clap to support them. 

22 seconds in and you feel your heart drop as Leah Galton swings the ball into the net, crowds of red cheering, as you sit there is disbelief. It doesn’t take long for the goal to been rebutted and Chelsea back in the game. 

The first half goes without a score being added for either side, your nerves getting the best of you, as you wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans. The half time gives you some time to get up and stretch your legs, looking around the stadium once again. 

“I’m sorry, I think you dropped this” turning your attention to the man sitting next to you, your chelsea scarf in his hands, a smile on his face. 

“Oh my gosh! Yes, thank you” you gush out, grabbing the scarf out of his hands placing it around your neck almost instantly, grabbing a seat again - the cold still managing to come through. 

“Good game so far” You give yourself a few seconds, before realising that he was talking to you, his friend now off someplace else. 

“Uh no, really good game” you answer, more to be polite than anything. You left your answer vague, hoping to end the conversation at that. 

“You been to many games before?” he asks, his body somehow had gotten closer in the past few moments. You nod your head, assuming that this would end the conversation once and for all. The whistle for the second half going off. 

“You always been a chelsea fan?” 

God, he doesn’t stop does he. You pretend you don’t hear as the crowd cheers the teams on. You don’t know if he knows your purposely knows you were ignoring him or not but he doesn’t make another attempt to start the conversation up again. 

Edge of your seat, you watch as the ball goes from one end of the field to the other, bouncing off a manchester player and straight for Sam. You jump up as you cheer, the crowd joining in. She passes the ball over, you wait for the ball to go straight into goal but watch as the goalkeeper catches it. 

Grabbing a seat once more, clapping your hands as you watch the game continue. 

“Great player Sam is” 

You give him a quick ‘uh, yeah’ as you try to track the ball once more. 

“She your favourite player?” 

Was this guy serious? As much as you wanted to tell him to shut up, you liked talking about your girlfriend even more. 

“Of course! I hope she’s yours too” 

Your response seems to bring a smirk on his face, his friend nudging him almost as a ‘congrulations’. 

“I don’t think i’d be a very bright man if she wasn’t” 

You bite your tongue, ‘You? A bright man?’ ready to spill but you manage to hold it in. He can’t be that bright if he hadn’t figured out you weren’t interested. 

The game continues on, your nerves setting in as they get closer and closer to the end of the game - still no goals scored. 

You watch the throw-in, excitement of the crowd growing. You spot Sam at the other end of the goal - a good spot to be in. The ball crosses over to her - already up in the air cheering as she scores. The excitment of the goal takes the weight off your shoulders, the man next to you grabbing onto your shoulders - and in that moment you couldn’t care less because your girlfriend just scored a goal. 

The crowd eats up her celebratory flip, shaking your head as you laugh out a choked laugh, Sam making her way in front of where you were seated, shaking her head. You make eye contact for a split second before you were rudely torn away by the man next to you throwing his arms up in the air, practically screaming in your face before turning around to his friend. 

The game continues, Manchester almost scoring a goal but ultimately when that final siren, Chelsea has won the cup. The cheering in the stadium brings a small on your face, you cheering along with them. So proud of the girls performances today, especially Sam’s. 

You start to collect your stuff, bending down to pick up your waterbottle and rubbish - you hear the two guys conversing about something but don’t put too much effort in eavesdropping. Your only mission to get to your girlfriend. 

You realise as you stand up to make your way towards the gate, you need to move pass the two men, a small sigh leaving your lips. You go to excuse yourself but he cuts in before you can even open your mouth. 

“I was wondering if maybe you would want to come down to the pub with us? Go celebrate the win and all that” 

“Oh” great. How were you gonna get yourself out of this one. “I actually have plans after this, but thank you for the offer” 

Perfect, an easy let down that you both can pretend means more than it actually is. 

“Well, how about we give each other our numbers and we can catch up another time?” 

Was he serious? 

The crowd surrounding and inside the area you were seated started to get louder, people standing up - making it harder for you to push your way past the two men and towards the gate. Trying to think of a way to let him down on last time, you hear the calls of your girlfriend’s name and apparently he does too. His head shooting towards the field, where Sam was making her way towards the gate. Fans sticking out posters and jerseys for her to sign. 

You find it funny how quick both he and his friend abandoned you to make their way flush against the gate - asking for pictures. Sam doesn’t pay them any attention, her gaze falling upon you in an instant. 

You slowly make your way down the few stairs towards the gate - taking your time, a smirk on your face as you catch the annoyance growing on your girlfriend's face. You end up standing next to the man again, although he doesn’t even bother with giving you another glance. 

“Hi!” You call out over the crowd, Sam now jumping up so her face with on par with yours - the crowd getting more excited at the aspect of their favourite player being so close. You swear you here the two men next to you let out squeals. 

She doesn’t bother responding as she pulls you in for a kiss, her hand landing behind your neck as she deepens it. It almost made you laugh - you had been kissed by Sam many times after games. To the point where you could tell the difference between a normal kiss and a ‘winning’ kiss. 

This was neither. 

She pulls back for a second, titling her head before moving out of your personal space. Her attention going straight to the two men next to you. 

“Did you say you guys wanted a picture?” She asks, although she has a smile on her face, you can see the annoyance in her eyes. Neither of them saying a word. It takes them a few moments to bring themselves back, his friend handing over his phone as they take a selfie with your girlfriend. 

“Cheers guys! Have a great day and stop hitting on people’s girlfriend” She doesn’t wait for a response as she moves over to the fans on your other side, signing and taking as many photos as she possibly could. 

With a smile on your face, you go to make your way up the steps to give room to some other fans, although as you turn you come face to face with the two men. You held in your laugh as you saw the looks on their faces. 

“I completely forgot to mention! Sam Kerr is my girlfriend. Have a lovely day boys” and with that you were up the stairs. 

+ plus something extra

The car ride home from the celebrations were surprisingly quiet. You driving, as Sam sat in the passengers seat - her hand resting on your thigh. The soft sounds of one of the playlists you and Sam had made playing in the background. 

As you turned the concer of your street, you could feel Sam watching you. Turning your head slightly to see her lip inbetween her teeth. 

“What’s going through that mind of yours?” you asked, squeezing her hand that hand gripped onto your leg just that little bit tighter at your question. 

“Just thinking about the celebration kiss you gave me” you let out a laugh as you shook your head. “I didn’t give you shit, you’re the one that practically snogged my face in front of your fans”

“They weren’t all my fans” she mumbles, although you catch it anyway. 

“What was that honey?” this time she’s the one shaking her head, claiming she said nothing. Wanting to stir the pot just that little bit extra, you let out a fake ‘oh no!’ bringing your hand that was rested on top of hers to your forehead. 

“What? What is it?” she jumps up immediately, looking around as if that would help her figure out what was wrong. 

“I forgot to get the number off that guy at the game today! He invited me down to the pub to watch the next chelsea game” 

“I- What?” 

“No, I know. I said the exact same thing - the next chelsea game isn’t til September but I guess he really enjoyed my company”

“Y/N. There’s no way in hell you’re going to a Pub to watch my game. You’ll be in the stands, cheering me on from where I can hear and see you” 

You had made it to your driveway, the car parked as you unclipped your belt and turned your body to face Sam. 

“I mean, with everyone else in the stadium I doubt you can hear and see me? Like really Sam, there’s a lot of people. Plus a pub I could get some good food as I watch” 

“If that’s the problem, I’ll get our caterings to cook you up something for the game, nice and hot for you” 

This girl was something else. “Sam! You can’t do that.” 

“I can and I will if that’s what it’ll take for you to come to my game rather than watch it in some stupid pub with those jerks” 

You can’t hold it anymore, as you let out a laugh. Sam’s face strunching up in confusion only makes you laugh harder. You bring her face closer to yours as you peck her lips. 

“I don’t think your fans would appreciate you calling them jerks lovie” 

She lets out a scoff, as she rolls her eyes. “Anyone who hits on my girlfriend is a jerk - fan or not” 

“Do I sense some jealousy Miss Samantha Kerr?” 

She goes to deny it, as you raise your eyebrows. Practically saying ‘I dare you to try and come up with an excuse’. 

“I just don’t appreciate jerks hitting on my girlfriend at my game as she wears my last name on her back”. 

Deciding you had tortured her enough, you bring your lips to hers once again. 

“I know baby, but no matter who tries to hit on me, it doesn’t change the fact that I come home with you after every game” 

“Hm, I like the sounds of that” 

So do I, you thought to yourself as you went in for more kisses.

[whats-9plus10]

Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart commentary and extras.

This is what I gathered during my first watch. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload the audio bits like I did for seasons 1-7 eventually! I'll catch all the little details then 💛

Let me get this out of the way. They did not answer the most important question of all.

In the past, Doc and Jackson have said that what they say in the commentary isn't necessarily canon. What is canon is what's in the actual show, not what they explore outside of the show because they're always changing their minds. Sometimes they disagreed while answering questions. Take that as you'd like.

Jonas didn’t abandon The Monarch after the plane crash intentionally. He assumed he died or he ran away before he got there. They hinted that Jonas downed the plane himself.

When asked if Jonas loved Rusty they say he’s a bad person, the villain of the show, and a monster. Jackson thinks he might have been a boy adventurer himself. They compare him to baby boomers forcing their children to live the lives they wanted themselves.

Does Rusty have the other twin killed when only one dies? Jackson says only when they witness the death. He referenced Ice Station Impossible. Brock has done it before.

Ritchie Valens refused to join The Guild and Red Mantle and Dragoon’s (Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper) initiation was to kill him so he wouldn’t tattle.

Doc says the second sons are the ones who succeed in The Guild, not the first sons, because they’re most likely to become evil and that’s why Dean was chosen as The Guild’s successor.

Doc described two episodes he would like to do: 1. "Heads in the water." Which is the heads of characters bobbing in the water after a crash for the entire episode. An all dialog bottle episode. 2. An episode that starts off like a regular Venture Bros episode. Then a henchman dies and everything pivots. 21 calls his wife and says “Real sorry but your husband died in service” (Doc put on his 21 voice here). We then see the wife and daughter (from another marriage) and follow them in their lives.

What is The Monarch's favorite ABBA song? Doc thinks Waterloo and Jackson thinks Take a Chance. They riff as Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend for a few seconds.

Gary's a big Sneaker Pimps fan.

Rusty doesn't have a middle name. If you ask Rusty he'll say the S stands for sexy or science or SUPER science. Rusty’s favorite musical is Starlight Express or RENT (Jackson disagreed). He's never actually watched them but he likes the advertisements.

Brock Frog is the guy that "brings in bagels". A 3rd generation Italian American from "bricklayer stock." He fell out with his dad because he wanted to bring bricks into the future. He teamed up with Professor Vigo Dale, who screwed him out of half of the company after Brick Frog gave him all of his brick ideas.

Mantilla has the ability to make things invisible by touching them but claimed it was teleportation. “It’s all bullshit…and she had money from her past”

Mantilla has been "garbage picking" from The Monarch’s trash, such as Dr. Mrs.'s costume ideas in season 3 that she had thrown away and their wedding invitation.

The guys in the warehouse with Jefferson were all roommates in the 90s.

We would have had a full episode of Force Majeure and Jonas Venture's rivalry.

We would have had another episode of Billy and Colonel Gentleman "John Wicking" after Mischa was found dead right before a doggy costume contest.

Matt Berry was supposed to voice Force Majeure.

Why does The Monarch hate Doc so much? Jackson says “Obviously it (the thought that Debra left him for Rusty) bothers him a little more than he said.”

They called Gary's hair “the popular millennial cut” and made him "half Glen Danzig half Wolverine."

Doc has drunk his own urine multiple times because they pee in bottles in the Astrobase. "Recently".

During the last scene in the movie when everyone is talking, Gary and Hatred were talking about a loofah. Hatred asked Gary "Ah...you use a loofah?". Dr. O was talking about intermittent fasting.

24 made a guest appearance in the "Fan Questions" extra for a few seconds.

They refused to answer the questions about Scare Bear and what Rusty and Billy were doing in the time machine in case they're able to continue the story.

They made a joke about telling people just enough in the commentary to get them excited and want more. (A “joke” haha)

During Prom, Pete and Billy would have studied the Push It video extensively. Pete would’ve entered the dance floor and “boxed it out” to make space. Billy would’ve walked in the circle nonchalantly. Then they would have recreated the entire dance.

[bearyllovely]

for both of them if you want: 💐📺🍴🌿💋🏠💬🍵

YESS LET'S GO, lots of info so everything's under the cut:

💐Does your F/O give you flowers or vice versa?

Puzzles is your classic romantic, flowers are the bare minimum and he'll go out of his way to make more fantastical displays but knows when to stick to the basics. I'd give him a bouquet comprised of his favorite flora~

Dude isn't big on gestures and goes for more physical displays, if you mention wanting flowers he'll eventually get around to it seemingly at the most critical moments. A single rose, nothing huge but the simplicity makes it more special. He loves me and isn't gonna get all mushy just for the sake of it, he's gonna be real.

📺 What would you watch on TV together?

Puzzles isn't a fan of modern TV and prefers to stick to the classics, whether it be old game shows or movies from his childhood. 50's to 80's are his preferred decades for TV. Luckily I've grown up on a mix of modern and retro entertainment so I'm always up for watching something beyond my time.

Oh Dude loves trash TV; cop shows, jackass, Jerry Springer, anything that falls into the junk category he's all over it. Not my type of entertainment but he's usually busy yapping in my ear about what's on or unrelated stuff to care much. TV becomes more of background noise if you catch my drift.

🍴 Which one of you cooks for the other?

With Puzzles it's 50/50, he enjoys getting back to more traditional hobbies even if he's rusty and needs some assistance. Tastebuds have changed over the decades and he's got catching up to do!

I do the cooking full stop LMAO Dude can microwave stuff and half-work the stove but there's the looming threat of setting the trailer on fire, so I take over from there. He's appreciative in his own way, he'll handle running errands so long as I make dinner.

🌿 Is there a smell you associate with your F/O? Why?

Puzzles gives me the essence of department stores and fresh fabrics, something subtle but distinguished; his signature~

Dude smells like leather, cigarettes and wore-down demin with a hint of gasoline, something that reminds me of my home state and the grungier aspects of southern living. Comforting but a bit strong.

💋 Were you your f/o’s first kiss? What was your first kiss with them like?

For Puzzles yes, he didn't have any friendships or partners in his younger days and tried his best to keep others from getting too close, so he had no experience to go off of. Having a screen for a face isn't ideal when trying to kiss, but he can still feel the pressure from my lips being applied and the static lingering on my skin when pulling away.

For Dude nahhh, he's been married and divorced so he's been around the block but that doesn't mean he's perfect at it. He's a very touchy-feely guy in private and in public if he wants to bug me for fun, but his kisses are genuinely nice. Lips are softer than expected.

🏠 How would you and your f/o decorate the inside of your house?

Decor really shows how in-tune artistically Puzzles and I are, its a mix of modern and classic arts, movie posters, hand-crafted pieces, fictional media and more coming together in a space clearly built for two creative minds. He'd have his own private study and my own office space~

Dude isn't huge on decorating, what sparse things he has in his trailer was mostly found in yard sales or brought in from the junkyard so it'd mostly be me cleaning what he's got and adding bits of my own decor here and there. He doesn't care so long as the things he likes are still hanging around somewhere.

💬 Are there any specific pet names you or your f/o uses?

Puzzles likes using "my little star/rising star" along with us using common names i.e. darling, sweetie, dear~

Dude mainly uses "doll/dollface" along with babe and hun and I stick to the usual along with "stud"~

🍵 Is your f/o a tea or a coffee person? How about you?

Puzzles likes a good brew, being an android makes consuming foods non-essential but that doesn't stop a cartoon from enjoying the finer things! He has a very specific coffee order but teas are more broad, probably takes an earl grey on most days.

Tea isn't Dude's favorite but a pitcher of sweet tea hits the spot on hot summer days. He takes his coffee black or with some creamer but nothing fancy, can't afford the nicer shit anyways. I'm not a coffee person but I'll take some iced tea when the craving hits!

[ojamayellow]

Earthspark spoilers. It's time for my opinions and theories.

Before I start, I am aware of the writers changing. I will put that into consideration in this. And for the record, I did enjoy Season 2 so far, but I admit it has nothing on S1 for now.

First two episodes were really good, I loved the Breakdad moments, I love Aftermath and we get a glimpse on how the Decepticons have been operating. 2nd episode with the Quintesson gave us some lore and suspense, and I always love a Mo and Thrash tag team. These episodes felt... right for Earthspark, but not as Season 2 starters? If that makes sense.

Hashtag's alt mode is neat, but I miss her chunkiness in robot mode. Made her feel more distinct you know? But I'm with the others saying VAL being an AI in Hashtag's mind is really weird considering what Mandroid did. Maybe she's coping? I have a theory that this VAL might be manipulated in a future episode to control Hashtag, but for the sake of Hashtag's well-being, I HOPE this doesn't happen. (Also, hi Shockwave).

Carnival episode. Is Schloder reduced to an incidental now? I hope not and that he becomes important as well. But also, I figure its a traveling carnival/circus, which makes sense to why we haven't seen this Fairemaestro before, and the little interaction with Swindle shows up 'oh yeah he's a bad guy' already. But you can't just tease a GIANT COSMOS-LOOKING RIDE AND THEN 'OH BTW ITS COSMOS' LAST FEW MINUTES. If Cosmos doesn't show up in later episodes I'll be so disappointed, like...it's freakin' Cosmos! <-Perfect design though. *chef kiss*

I do think the Robby crush on Izzy was cute, but it being involved with the plot felt....eh? It was like, nothingburger to me.

JBAM episode. I LOVED THEM. Jawbreaker has clearly gotten more comfortable with himself and such since Grimlock, but him not taking a hint from Aftermath (who was being direct) reminds me of my younger self. <-Was an insane chatterbox and would not shut up no matter what was said to me.

But the contaminated energon stuff like, yeah callback to that weird bear. Sorry if I forgot, but back in S1, was there a reason GHOST was just leaving it around? I don't remember. And what's with the horrific energon mushrooms, and those poor animals? I know people who are going to be turned off from this show just from that alone, but at least it's 'off screen'? But also Aftermath betraying Jawbreaker hurts, I was hoping he'd like, impress Breakdown with the stolen water BUT NOPE, NO MORE AFTERMATH AND BREAKDAD STUFF. (I know Aftermath was like, not 'what did you just call me' when he was called Son but, cmon!!)

Spitfire episode. I personally think this episode went hard. Gave me Sonic VS Metal Sonic vibes. The fight scenes were really done well, and the tension was so good! To me, Spitfire wanted to be superior but felt inferior when not chosen for the mission, so that desire to be the best consumed her. I'm personally a big fan of this episode, and Alex is awesome. And so was Spitfire, I'm kinda obsessed with her.

Bodyswap episode. Always love a good bodyswap scenario, but somehow this felt... weak. It's plausible for the others to believe Spitfire (as Twitch) had a scrambled processor from the previous episode BUT the fact Wheeljack was the first to catch on? Before a Malto? I'm SO GLAD they referred to Dad2 again but, IDK, feels... strange to me.

Trailer episode. Was kinda nothingburger again? It felt like they needed to add SOMETHING before the horrors of the final two episodes, but maybe I just need to re-watch it because I didn't feel much from it. Optimus was clearly getting aggravated and uncomfortable, which was making me uncomfortable. But also, OPLITA? COMPLICATED? If they don't ever bring this up again I might be a bit...bitter.

And finally, the Witwicky 2-Parter. My anxiety was through the roof here, but I also kinda figured it out early that a Titan was involved. Was still surprised though, and her design is awesome?! But what was making me panic more than anything was Hashtag was going to see Starscream. Yes I know, a one-episode bond may not mean much, but we all had hopes, yeah? Anyway, I love nasty bitch Starscream. It's what makes him Starscream. And I do think what he did was in-character. But it would feel off if Earthspark was someone's introduction to Starscream, you know? This specific one, who's attitude told the audience 'I hate Megatron he abused me so I'd be a better leader than him'. But also...

The scene with him killing the Chaos Terrans was a fucking horror movie. It does a lot when I am SCARED OF STARSCREAM. I wish he didn't do it, but he also needed the shards. If the Autobots/Maltos needed the shards from the Terrans, how would they do it? Would they hesitate to find a safer way to keep the Chaos Terrans alive? Or would there be some sort of urgency? It really makes me think, but Starscream wanted those shards ASAP, he does what he need to do to get what he wants, he's Starscream. A manipulative, traitorous bitch who almost never gets his way in the end.

But you might be wondering, "Kit did you feel like the character development was thrown away for Starscream?" Well, yes and no.

It's really upsetting how Starscream twisted his advice to Hashtag. Truly upsetting. But it also does feel like something a Starscream would do. I keep flip-flopping between "yeah this makes sense" and "um what the FUCK writers". See what I mean by "yes and no?" And Hashtag calling Starscream worse than Megatron AND Screamer taking it as a compliment? Again, very Starscream thing to do, but I think ES! Starscream should've been at least a bit offended?! And out of all bots to call him the worst... Why did it have to be Hashtag? I guess it has more 'meaning', but still...

My theory (or moreso, hopeful thinking) is that Starscream re-invented his advice to Hashtag so he could get detached from her. Starscream had a mission, a personal selfish goal, and he needed to take care of HIMSELF, no friendship. Only comrades willing to follow him, and the Maltos were not those comrades.

My other theory (which I gained from seeing someone on twitter saying this) is that the Chaos Terrans DIDN'T GREY OUT FROM DEATH. Therefore, there is a chance they can return. Maybe something from the Allspark or Matrix or some kinda macguffin will help?! And I sure hope they come back, because they could learn to be good (but still cheeky) and we can bring back the messages and theming from Season 1! Right, right?

As for 'Starscream the child killer'...look, it's upsetting I know. But like I said, selfish goals. And while I am not familiar with every Starscream from different canons, I've met enough versions. Other Starscreams have have committed war crimes, blew up a human hospital, threatened to kill innocents, committed war crimes, wanted to kill everyone to end a war, squished humans in his servos... (yes I know Skybound is more for an adult audience than kids but I'm just saying). War crimes. I am not excusing Starscream's actions here, but when he needs something, he'll do what it takes to get it, for his own selfish goals. It makes sense but I also feel its wrong and I agree with other fans who were quite upset with this scenario. If the Chaos Terrans don't come back I'll be really sad.

Again, I've considered the fact this show has new writers, which is unfortunate. I saw someone on here say that Season 2 (so far) feels like a bootlegged version of S1, which is how I feel about it. I did enjoy the episodes, but they were a bit messy. Also, the lack of Nightshade and honorary family member Bumblebee really made me sad. Was it a script decision, or could they not afford Danny Pudi enough because they used the money on the new cast like Flea? (Don't quote me on like, celebrity net worth here). The lack of Nightshade though is very suspicious though, considering how big of a deal it was for them to exist as a non-binary character.

Side note, Shockwave. I'm glad he finds Cybertron itself more important than creating a New Cybertron, it feels right for him to not care about Earth. But if he going to attempt to lead now? Or something?

If you read this, thanks! If you have any responses feel free to reply or reblog. Feel free to reblog in general, I love hearing opinions and such.

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[euphoriiabts]

Idol Jake x Idol Y/N

When fans start shipping you with TXT's Huening Kai, Jake is quick to see the clips and tiktok edits, causing a huge wave of jealous to overcome him that you've never seen before in your life.

You come home from your group's music video shoot to find Jake sitting on the living room couch, scrolling through TikTok.

"Whatcha looking at, babe?" You ask curiously as you walk towards him.

"Is he better than me?" Jake replies, causing a spout of confusion to bloom in your facial expression.

"Is who better than you?" You ask, confused, looking at him quizzically as if you're taking my last math exam of the year in high school.

"Kai. Is he better than me?" Jake answers, no specific tone of voice being detected, but you can tell he's jealous with the vein that pops out of his neck from his anger.

"Why are you asking me that?" You question as you sit down next to him.

"Just answer the question-"

You shake your head, "No, Jake, he isn't better than you, you know that," You reply, thinking for a moment before continuing, "Is this about the fans?"

Jake looks up at you and for the first time since you arrived at home, you could finally see his facial expressions. He had a hint of anger, possession, and jealousy in his eyes, but his gaze softens when he meets yours.

"Look at the edits, baby, the clips and the pictures? They make you guys look so good together.." Jake whines and pouts like a big man child despite being 21 years old and judging by his tone of voice, you know that he needs reassurance, so you look him in the eyes and move a strand of hair out of his face.

"Baby. It doesn't matter what the fans think they know or how they feel because I'm your girlfriend and nothing is going to change that, okay? I love you and you are the only person in this world that I want."

"But what if-"

"Nuh uh, no 'but what ifs', I don't want to hear you talk down to yourself, do you understand me, Sim Jaeyun?" You say, cutting him off before he can finish his sentence. Jake just nods and that was the end of the conversation that night, but if you knew Sim Jaeyun any better, you were already well aware that he was going to need a lot more reassurance than that.

So you went to bed, cuddling extra close in his arms that night and running your fingers through his hair as we relaxed and fell asleep quickly. The rumors about you and Kai only grow more intense, the fans dying and begging to see more. You try your absolute best to comfort and reassure Jake that fans just have a tendency to act that way and you think it's going well until one day your management holds a meeting with you, telling you that your group is going to be doing a song collaboration with ENHYPEN. At first, you assume that it's all just a coincidence, until after the song is recorded and you guys release the teasers, Jake gets extra touchy in all of the TikToks the groups make together. You weren't the only one who was catching onto it, in fact, every last member of both yours and his group started saying things about it.

"Jake, you're so close to Y/N in this one, even the fans have noticed. You know how much trouble you could get in if it was leaked that you guys are dating, right?" Jungwon states and the reaction Jake gives says all too much that he is definitely up to something.

"Sim Jaeyun, what are you plotting?" You ask, raising your eyebrows as you speak, looking at him with your hand on your hip, maintaining a stern look on your face. You look him directly in the eyes and you swear for a moment you saw him grinning, but you couldn't get a good enough look to confirm before his face goes back to a normal one. Jake nods,

"I understand, I'll be more careful." Jake says to Jungwon, ignoring your question. You shake your head and brush it off, hoping that he'll stick to his words. As the next few weeks move forward, your collaboration has been completely released and the speculations about you and Kai have almost gone entirely radio silent as new dating speculation between you and Jake builds. You lay next to Jake in bed, watching as he scrolls through TikToks about it, smiling to himself.

"Are you proud of yourself?" You ask rhetorically, already knowing the answer to the question.

"Look, babe, they think we'd make a better couple than you and Kai.." He states happily as he points out one of the comments on a post. And with that, the new rumors calmed your jealous boyfriend down and you never had to hear about another dating rumor again.. Until about two weeks later when you open your Twitter notifications,

"Omg did you see Jake and Chaeryoung? They're so cute together, look!"

"No literally they'd be such a cute couple."

"Something HAS to be going on!!!"

"I'll be so happy if they're dating, OH EM GEE"

You stare at the comments and quotes on your phone as you feel a huge wave of anger and jealousy overcome you,

"Oh HELL no.."

A week later..

1 Notification: Twitter.com

"Pop Crave: According to Dispatch, ITZY's vocal line member Y/F/N and ENHYPEN member Sim Jaeyun are reportedly dating! An anonymous tip-"

You didn't get time to even finish reading the tweet before you heard your boyfriend yelling your name from the other side of the house,

"Y/F/N what did you do?!" Jake yells, anger and amusement apparent throughout his voice.

Well this was going to be a fun week for the both of you..

[myrddinmirror]

The Lost Treasure Theory

A far-fetched detective investigation in ten parts. Conspiracies, secret places, mysterious signs… and a missing treasure.

Introduction

Let's imagine the first season as a heavy rock that stands firmly, and the third season as something that is hidden in the fog. The second season turned out to be strange, with many hints, vaguenesses, mirrors (in which everyone sees something different) and lines hanging in the air (some people call them Chekhov’s guns). I like to think of it as a wobbly rope bridge connecting the first season to the third. It is stretched over an abyss, at the bottom of which the sharp stones of fan kinks and fetishes await, it is strewn with glass shards of the spectator's hearts, and anyone who steps on it will inevitably slip on wet traces of tears of those who tried to pass here before. The wind of unbridled fantasies coming from the ocean of theories shakes this already unstable bridge, making the task of preserving the mental equilibrium and the ability to reason almost impossible for any impressionable traveler. My investigation rests on very ephemeral grounds, so I try to hold on as tightly as possible to the nearly invisible railing that Neil handed out for us. I cling to any available clue, trying not to fall into the abyss, and after each careful step I freeze for a while and catch my breath. Everything around is hidden in mist.

Part 1. Conspiracy

Let's take a closer look at the scene of Gabriel's trial (1).

-I see. You're casting me down to Hell. Well, I accept my fate. Sometimes an angel just has to say, "Guys, enough."

Gabriel is absolutely calm. This is not at all sudden for him. He was ready for the Fall and doesn't mind. Why? Because Beelzebub is waiting for him in Hell, everything is fine. Probably, the couple agreed in advance that they would not stay in Hell, but would immediately escape when they had no other choice.

-You are not going to Hell.

We look closely at the changing expression on Gabriel's face as the Metatron reads out his sentence.

He's nervous, he thinks fast. And judging by how quickly he figured out what to do, he's not as stupid as he seems. Or he already had a PLAN thought out in advance for such a case.

-These clothes are tailored. Can I keep wearing them?

It would seem that this is not the most relevant question right now. But he pursues several goals at once: a) to distract attention (see, I’m an idiot and only think about clothes) b) we know that he has a Fly in his suit c) he guesses that they will answer him, and he needs an excuse to materialize the Big Box and not arouse suspicion.

-Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. I'll be right back.

We can feel the relief in his voice and he smiles again. Now let's move on to the final conversation with Beelzebub (2).

-You. Thank you. -Silly, silly angel. Why? -I was coming to you, but… I… forgot.

Looks like they actually had a plan. Why does Beelzebub give him the Container Fly? They could not help but realize that sooner or later either their relationship would be detected, or he would be punished for refusing to start Armageddon. The fly was part of the plan. Most likely, "Thank you" was said precisely for this gift. But if Beelzebub assumed that Gabriel would reset his memory, then what does "Why" mean? Why did you come to the bookstore? Why didn't you come to me (as we agreed)? "I was going (was going to go) to you, but my memory was already in the fly, so I forgot where I had to go".

(1) 12:47 Ep.6 (2) 28:10 Ep.6

Part 2. The box is heavy - the box is empty

Naked Gabriel with a box in his hands walks down the street to the bookstore. We are clearly shown that he did not arrive in the elevator that materializes in the Dirty Donkey (1).

Is that a hint that he was somewhere else on Earth before he came to Soho? Let's remember. Let's fast forward to Gabriel's first conversation with Aziraphale (2):

-My arms were aching 'cause I had to carry that box for so long.

Where he was? Why did his hands hurt? One fly doesn't hurt anyone's hands. One fly doesn’t need a BIG box. At first, I had the idea that someone stole "the thing" from the box while it was outside the store door, but this is not the case. If one looks closely at how Gabriel carries it one can see that he barely holds it in his palms (3).

Later he throws it at the front door (4) and it is quite obvious that it is empty and light. Well, let's move on to Gabriel's escape from Heaven (5):

14:50 - he puts a matchbox with a fly in an empty box, leaves the box under the camera and goes somewhere 15:07 - he is undressed and carries the box easily (i.e. it is still empty, so he did not put his clothes in there, for example) 15:10 - he is in front of the elevator, reaching for a matchbox with a fly (his memory is still with him), and the box already seems heavy, he has to hold it by the bottom.

He pulls the fly out, losing the matchbox. 15:18 - he is in the elevator, elbowing the Earth button. He's holding the box with both hands, and he's gripping it with his fingers because it's obviously HEAVY.

While he is going down in the elevator, his memory resets, since Saraqael does not see him on Earth. 15:32 - it turns out that Gabriel does not have a desk, so he could not take anything from it. Whatever he put in the box is not his personal belongings. So he took something, then forgot about it, then… lost it?

(1) 14:18 Ep.1 (2) 19:00 Ep.1 (3) 14:08, 14:30 Ep.1 (4) 14:57 Ep.1 (5) Ep.6

Part 3: Insurance and a Reliable Plan

So what the Archangel took was not his personal item and hardly a souvenir. It’s something really important. Realizing that with the memory cleansing he would essentially lose himself, Gabriel had to take something to protect him. What about emergency insurance? In case you get caught? Crowley, if you remember, had holy water as an insurance against Hell - a demon-threatening thing that can both save and destroy. What could be so useful and possibly so terrible to other angels that Gabriel could take with him? It could be either a very powerful artifact, or it could be an important dossier, like compromising someone from the Archangels. There is a lot to speculate about, but let’s start with the fact that, as in a good detective, authors always give the viewer some clue. What is so important, so significant in the series that you might consider a good prize for an Archangel on the run? I think you have already guessed that I mean the Book of Life. Gabriel and Beelzebub had a great plan. They were supposed to meet secretly while they could, and then run off with the Book. If Gabriel had been brought down to Hell, it would have been easy, and in case of force majeure, he had a fly. It is obvious that both the Archangel and the Prince of Hell are well aware of the punishment of erasing the memory. A fly is a container for memory, a gift that matters. Of course, the plan did not involve any bookstore. Who in their right mind would entrust themselves and the Book of Life to the "traitor" whom you just recently ordered to be killed? It is also obvious that it would be very unwise for a naked Archangel with a big box to take the elevator down to the hall of Hell. Therefore, the plan was very simple: Gabriel gets to a familiar bar in Scotland, Beelzebub learns about his disappearance and goes there. Then they go off into the sunset together. Happy End. However, in the world of Good Omens, nothing can go according to plan. As they say, watch your hands. The Almighty again lays out three cards. And now the boy… I mean, the Book is lost, and the fugitive is missing. How did this happen? Let's think about what Gabriel had left when the fly reset his memory in the elevator. He still has an idea of himself ("I’m me. I just don’t know who me is") and he still has his angelic powers. Angels can feel love. He forgot Beelzebub, forgot the bar, and when you don’t remember anything, you get instincts. Angels have no instincts, so he was led by a sense of love. Very strong, truly great. He might have ended up in Tadfield, but Adam is still powerful(1), so Tadfield is closed to outsiders. And where else in Britain there is a knock-down love? We all know where (2). Gabriel came to the bookstore, Aziraphale, whom he vaguely remembered (3), opened the door, and for lack of a better one, the Archangel thought that it was him he was going to (4). An ordinary cock-up, as Crowley would say.

(1) 10:37 Ep.1 Crowley sits on a bench reading the Tadfield Advertiser. On the first page is a large article "According to voters of latest: "Best Village in England" poll Tadfield really is the loveliest place to live." And on the blue background: "Entirely perfect weather AGAIN for Tadfield".

(2) 20:25 ep.1 "You’re funny. I love you." A farting song emerged from the overfed zombie, and confessions emerged from Gabriel. Overflowed, too much love. (3) 14:57 Ep.1 "Hey you!" (4) 17:07 Ep.1 -You don't recognize me? -No. Sorry. -Then… why did you come to my shop? -I don't know. I just thought I should. You know what it's like when you don't know anything at all, and yet you're totally certain that everything would be better if you were just near one particular person? … I had to come here and give you the thing.

Part 4. Lying or not?

I’m no brain scientist, but when Gabriel comes to the bookstore, he’s acting like a real memory-loss person. You believe that he doesn’t know who he is, where he is, or what he’s doing here. He has the reactions and behavior of a curious child. At the same time, he has a vague sense of anxiety, as well as a vague sense of recognition of Aziraphale, and it all seems quite natural. However, at some point I began to think Gabriel was lying. To begin with, he suddenly stopped having questions, he no longer asks: who am I? How do you know me? Who are you? What the hell is going on here? A person who has lost his memory is only interested in bookselling and gravity, seriously? Review the episodes listed. Don’t you think the same as I think?

-And now I will make a noise when I move around (1).

He is the outspoken troll of Aziraphale, grins and walks away, very pleased with himself, it is clear. Not a child, but a smug bastard.

Aziraphale talks to the Archangels on the street in front of the bookstore (2). The door swings open and Gabriel appears, loudly and joyfully declaring that he is Jim, the bookseller's assistant. Why would a memory-losing person who knows he’s in danger of something terrible, rush out into the street so loudly in front of strangers? Maybe because this is Gabriel-with-memory, who, of course, recognized the visitors, realized that a hidden miracle of great power had been created, and now just checks the boundaries? When the miracle passes the final test (Michael does not recognize Gabriel at point-blank range), he mocks the angels:

-What about me? Uh, guys, shouldn’t you keep a close eye on me too?

Typical Gabriel's insolence and self-confidence.

There is an idea that you cannot punish an angel outside of Heaven. After all, in the first season, Aziraphale had to be kidnapped first and then executed. This means that Gabriel, who has regained his memory, must realize that on Earth, with all his powers, he is practically invulnerable. This is indirectly confirmed in episode 6, when representatives of Hell and Heaven demand that the escapees be handed over to them. It would seem, here they are, punish on the spot. With humans, by the way, there is no such problem, only Crowley’s intervention saves Maggie and Nina from immediately turning into salt pillars. But maybe Gabriel is just a very brash son of a bitch.

There are also more obvious signs that the fugitive is okay in the head:

You can't fool Crowley that easily (3). He listens very carefully to Gabriel’s nonsense and says:

-Ah, you can do better than that. Come on, think! Think hard!

I think at this point, the Archangel realizes it’s better not to push Crowley, he "shines" his eyes and pop out a biblical phrase. Think about it, if ALL his memory is in a fly, where did this piece come from? Well, the trick was a success, and they are leaving him behind.

The prophecy of the Second Coming (4) is coming out of Gabriel. Is this a conscious attempt to warn? Or a random trigger on the word "tempest"? The only thing that’s clear is he’s got his memory back.

Conversation with Crowley (5):

-You have no idea of trouble you’re causing, do you? -No. Or yes. Or… no. -Year. I’ll tell you something Jim, or Gabriel. If any harm comes to Aziraphale because of this, I will…

And Gabriel is listening. VERY carefully. And he looks like he understands everything.

Crowley arrives in the Archangel’s room (6). The demon openly attacks. Gabriel is frankly nervous. When Crowley says that Aziraphale was not at the execution, Gabriel surprisingly asks "He wasn’t there?". Not the kind of reaction you’d expect from someone who doesn’t know what you’re talking about, is it? And it’s no less strange when Gabriel almost jumps out of a second-floor window. For a person, with or without memory, these are guaranteed injuries (the floor is high, and the bottom is asphalt), and the act is absolutely senseless. The archangel is not in any danger of such a jump, but it is a great way to avoid a very unpleasant conversation. Crowley then demands that Gabriel remember. He replies:

-I don’t have my memory. -Well, where is your memory, then? -In a matchbox. No, I took it out, first. And I put it in the box and brought it here. And it’s everywhere.

First, how do you know all this? Second, what do you mean, everywhere? It’s not in the fly anymore? You don’t want to admit you already got it back, do you?

I have an idea why the memory (partially) might have leaked back into Gabriel's head. And also why he’s not in a hurry to get away from the store when Heaven is already on his heels.

(1) 06:25 Ep.2 (2) 12:45 Ep.2 (3) 20:54 Ep.2 (4) 38:45 Ep.3 (5) 41:35 Ep.3 (6) 14:20 Ep.5

Part 5. Memory Leak

If we consider ourselves sufficiently convinced that the Archangel is no longer as unconscious as he wants to appear, we will have to look for some moment when his memory may have returned. The first assumption. Several times we see that Gabriel tried to catch the fly, and that it often circles around him. The interaction with it may have caused a partial leak, but we’re not seeing any specific episode. Second assumption. It was a side effect from "the tiniest, most insubstantial, fractional, half a miracle". The chair Gabriel was sitting on was on a portal to Heaven. Crowley, Gabriel, and Aziraphale were holding hands, and the miracle was directed at the Archangel, so that a huge power passed right through him. I mean, some kind of electroshock therapy. And immediately after the miracle there was such a dialogue (1):

Aziraphale: Good news, Jim. Nobody’s going to notice you. You’re safe here. Crowley: While we figure out what’s actually going on. Gabriel: I think I know what’s going on.

And I think your memory is partially coming back to you, but you really need to keep it a secret.

In Ep.6 we see what memories actually return to Gabriel from the fly, and there is nothing about the Beginning nor about 6000 years of service as the Supreme Archangel, and only briefly the events of the Armageddon't (2). Gabriel truly remembers only the most dangerous, most well-encrypted moments of his life - his relationship with Beelzebub. Everything about their feelings and the alleged conspiracy, including the theft of the artifact. Why did he not leave the bookstore? Because he did not remember the reasons why Heaven sought him, he did not remember Beelzebub. But he knew that he was in some terrible danger. And where should he run? Here he is protected, cared for - but only as long as he pretends to be a helpless fool. However, there is one thing that is so powerful in itself that it affects Gabriel even when he has forgotten about it. The Book.

(1) 41:50 Ep.1 (2) Of course, maybe this doesn’t matter, the authors just didn’t have enough timing, but we agreed at the beginning that we would consider the script well thought out, right? If it is written poorly, then such theories make no sense at all.

Part 6. Hide a tree in the forest

So, it’s not even matter if Gabriel remembers something about his previous life or not. The catch is that the Book disappeared between the memory erasing in the elevator and his appearance in the bookstore (i.e. this piece is not recorded in the fly), and this period remained with Gabriel only in the form of vague sensations. He carried the box somewhere for a long time, his hands hurt… the rest is unknown. When the Archangel walked along Whickber Street, the box was already empty, so there is no Book in the store. However, if you don’t know or remember this detail, you might think it’s there. It’s a very logical decision to hide a book among books, right? And guess what? There are at least three person looking for the book in the series, and all three of them think Aziraphale has it somewhere. The trap of the obvious. Let’s start with Gabriel. Yes, he doesn’t remember it, but he’s looking for it. I don’t know why. Perhaps it would be appropriate here to recall Octavo (1) and other Terry Pratchett grimoires with the ability to strangely influence people. There are two things in the series that indirectly indicate this search. First of all, a very strange thing Gabriel found himself doing in the store: placing books by the first letter of the first word in the first sentence (2). Occupation, at first glance, the most absurd. But! Aziraphale’s permission allows Gabriel to open all the books without raising any question or suspicion. He doesn’t remember what the Book of Life looks like, but he obviously recognizes it when he starts reading. The second point is the dialogue about gravity (4). Yes, here again, we’re paying attention to the fly, but at the beginning it’s about the books not staying where Gabriel puts them. Maybe it’s a hint like, "I remember putting the book in the box, but now it’s gone, where could it have gone?"

(1) Octavo - A Magic Book that the Creator himself has forgotten on Discworld. It contains the Eight Great Spells, which have their own consciousness and are designed to help the Discworld in important situations. The book is located in a specially sealed room in the basement of the Unseen University's library chained to a lectern, for safety of the browsers, not the book. The wizard Rincewind who had once accessed the Book, read it, and one of the Spells, the Change Spell, settled in him, preventing Rincewind from ever learning any other magic. (2) 06:05 Ep.2 -What exactly are you doing? -I thought I'd make the books easier to find, so I thought if I put them in alphabetical order… -By author? -What's "author"? (3) No, I was shelving the books by the first letter of the first sentence. (3) He really may not know this, because the only book he knows has an obvious "author". (4) 16:17 Ep.3 Gabriel drops the book on the table. Crowley says it's gravity, it needs things to stay where they are ("So things would stay where you put them, not just drift off".) -But it doesn't stay where I put them. It goes down (5). Except for flies, they go up. (5) It is still possible to speculate a little bit that the book dangling in space near Crowley when he launched the nebulae was the Book of Life, and it certainly did not fall anywhere. This idea is interesting because it could suddenly take off in the third season if Neil decides to somehow develop the plot about the Book.

Part 7. Saraqael

The second investigator is Saraqael. She’s the head of Heaven’s security, an angel who needs to know everything but prefers to stay in the shadows. She is so underhanded that Gabriel has difficulty remembering her name (1). I believe that she was the one who provided the compromising images of Aziraphale from the Earth in the first season. And unlike the other Archangels, she immediately recognized the Metatron in human form (2) .

Neil wrote (3) that Saraqael does some secret things in the second season, and is also an angel you do not want to mess with. I would point out that it is she who executes the sentences like erasing memory or turning humans into salt pillars, i.e. she has real power and authority in Heaven. We are not shown what "secret things" Saraqael does, which means that it is not about some covert actions per se, but about motives. The secret motive is to find the lost Book of Life without anyone in Heaven or Hell knowing it was missing. Besides, the Book’s disappearance is extremely enough to force her out of the shadows. Saraqael doesn’t seem to believe for a second that Aziraphale himself performed a powerful miracle, and it is she who sends to him an inspector, and in fact a spy: a naïve angel who sniffs out at the bookshelves all the time. It is possible that Muriel reporting to Saraqael separately on everything that’s going on in the bookstore. When Crowley sneaks into Heaven, Saraqael spots him, but doesn’t stop him. Why? Because she’s running a similar investigation herself, and it is extremely important to her that the insightful demon notices something interesting. Much more important than just turning on the alarm. Saraqael prefers to keep her mouth shut for the last general conversation, but she listens very carefully to what others have to say, and I think she will give us more surprises in the third season.

(1) 27:52 Ep.6 (2) from 34:00 Ep.6 (3) answering questions

Part 8. The Metatron

It will be very funny if in the third season it turns out that the Voice of the Almighty all this time was the only positive character from the side of Heaven all along and sincerely wished good to our angel and demon. In the meantime, we can assume he’s the third investigator on the missing artifact. No proof, of course, but there are some observations. The Metatron, entering the bookstore, hears Michael's threats to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life and gets very, very angry (1). It can be assumed that it was precisely the words about the Book that enraged him, and not about the actual powers of Michael, because in fact, she really is now performing the duties of the Supreme Archangel. What if the overreaction is caused by the fact that he is aware of the loss and absolutely does not want to draw attention to the Book once again? By shutting Michael up and sending the angels to Heaven, he shuts down the discussion about the Book before it even begins. He asks Muriel to stay ("except the dim one"), saying: "I may need you". That is, at this point he is not yet sure that his plan will work. Of course there is a plan. Many say that the Metatron thought to separate Aziraphale and Crowley, because on Earth they are said to be a danger to Heaven. And supposedly he was sure that Crowley would refuse the offer. But isn’t it much more dangerous to give Aziraphale enormous power? What if Crowley agreed? No one set the condition that there is only one attempt. What if the demon suffers a few days alone and changes his mind? Since the Metatron was watching Aziraphale, and he openly mentions it (2), then he must know that Crowley ALWAYS returns to the angel. So, it seems to me, the plan was exactly the opposite: to drag them both to Heaven, where firstly they would be under constant control, and secondly, they would have neither the time nor the opportunity to endlessly wander around the store. It is for this case that the "naïve" Muriel is needed, who, as it turns out, just successfully addicted to reading books (3). She remains the "caretaker" of the bookstore, but at the same time she can carry out a "stocktaking", and no one will ask why she is scouring the shelves so diligently? When the Metatron returns for Aziraphale and discovers that Crowley has refused, he seems more vexed than satisfied (4). And then he asks: "Anything you need to take with you?" and glances quickly towards the bookshelves. When the angel answers "No", he makes a strange sound (5). I think this could be a test - does Aziraphale know something about the Book, is he hiding it in the store? Maybe he will somehow give himself away now? No? Well, we'll look without you. There is one more thought. As the Metatron takes Aziraphale away to talk, he glares at Crowley (6). Many have decided that he has something personal against the demon. Perhaps, but we have not yet been shown anything that could serve at least a hint of reason. But if we assume that the Voice of God is looking for the Book, and Crowley is one of the few who knows what it looks like, because with its help he "launched" the Universe (7) (not the fact that this is the same Book), then the look becomes clear: the Metatron may fear that the demon has pocketed it or is ready to pocket it for himself on occasion.

(1) 33:56 Ep.6 -You're talking utter balderdash. I mean, complete piffle! You don't have the authority to do anything like that. … Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. (2) 42:28 Ep.6 (3) 40:23 Ep.6 -What's that you're holding, Muriel? -I'm reading a book. -Excellent! What a perfectly splendid thing to do! (4) 47:47 Ep.6 (5) 48:19 Ep.6 (6) 36:14 Ep.6 (7) 01:13 Ep.1

Part 9. Secret place

Do you remember in Part 3 of this theory, three cards were mentioned on the Almighty’s gaming table? The first card is a bar with a jukebox in Edinburgh, a secret rendezvous between Gabriel and Beelzebub, a place where the conspiracy was ripe and where the memory-deprived Archangel with the heavy box was likely to come. The second card is a bookstore in Soho, a place of strong love, where the Book could be so safely hidden if someone brought it there. And now the time has come to reveal the last card - the place where, perhaps, the Book of Life was actually hidden. I’ll start a bit from afar. As Gabriel drank hot chocolate on the first day of the rest of his life, he said to Aziraphale:

-I'm me. I just don't know who me is. But you know me. You recognized me. -I know someone who LOOKS like you. -That's probably me then. I think that's one of the main ways you can tell (1).

I think you know where I’m going with this. There’s one place on Earth Gabriel loves more than anything else combined. The place where he spent his hours admiring (2) what he held most dear in the world. If an angel can be attracted by a feeling of intense love, then, of course, for Gabriel it will first of all be a monument to himself in the Edinburgh graveyard. It’s scary to imagine how many total years he spent there. An egoist and a narcissist, to whom could he entrust the most powerful and dangerous artifact? Obviously, only to himself. The statue is mentioned 3 times in the series (3). And it's also in the opening credits. I don’t believe that all this is just for the sake of one joke against Gabriel. In part 4 of the theory, which talked about the possible restoration of the fugitive Archangel's memory, or at least about some flashes of enlightenment, I deliberately kept silent about one more episode. It happened at the moment when Aziraphale called Crowley from Edinburgh right from that very graveyard and happily reported on the hard work done. Among other things, he said, "Do you remember the statue of Gabriel in the graveyard? I’m looking at it now." An unnecessary detail, what does it have to do with the bar? None, but Gabriel heard these words, and we are shown how he, seemingly in deep thought or even in a stupor, suddenly reacts (4). Does it really matter? God knows. Now you have to ask: but we don’t see any Book at the statue, where exactly could Gabriel have put it? We are given two clues. First: the statue either has a large cross in its hands, or it doesn’t.

Given that the statue is not CGI and the props were installing it in the graveyard, there’s very little chance it’s a mistake. It looks like a sign. Just look at this:

Cross marks the location of buried treasures, right? There is a second clue. We’ll talk about that in the final part of the investigation.

(1) 16:46 Ep.1 (2) 24:45 Ep.6 (3) First time in 1827: Crowley showed it to Aziraphale (09:01 Ep.3). Second time: Aziraphale comes to Edinburgh to investigate (34:03 Ep.3). Third time: Gabriel showed it to Beelzebub (Ep.6). (4) 35:20 Ep.3

Part 10. Ben Gunn

In one of the posters for the series, Treasure Island is in a stack of books to read.

If you remember, there was a map with a cross. But when the pirates arrived at the designated place, the treasure was gone. Some clever guy (by the way, "retired" by his side) solved the puzzle, dug up and hid the valuable prize. We know that Aziraphale (our "retired pirate") is brilliant smart. Not knowing why the fugitive Archangel was in danger, he could draw his conclusions from the facts he had. So, Gabriel has a box in which he carried something heavy for a long time. He is in danger from Heaven - for what? Because he stole something very valuable. Jim looks with frightening enthusiasm at the books in the store, strange for the Archangel, who earlier called a book just a "material object" (1), right?

Knowing what artifacts are in Heaven, it is not difficult to deduce what was in the box. Further, having analyzed the dialogue with Gabriel ("I’m me"), knowing his love for himself, remembering the statue (namely, one of the most exciting episodes in Aziraphale’s life began with it) and getting a CLUE in the form of a song from the Edinburgh bar (the statue is located right there!) the angel only had to go and check his hunch. We have a hint. When Aziraphale leaves the Bentley in Edinburgh, he has a briefcase (2). What could he have stored in it? He puts a pen and a notebook in his pocket. From his pocket he also takes out a portrait of Gabriel (the briefcase is on the floor at this time). Aziraphale didn't spend the night at a hotel and doesn't need a change. Apparently the briefcase was empty. The angel leaves the bar with a briefcase and we never see it again. And so he stands at the graveyard and looks at the statue. He looks strange, thinking about something (3).

Why did he come here? This place has nothing to do with the bar and the song. He could have called Crowley from any other location. Showing a moment of nostalgia is very expensive for extremely limited screen time. Therefore, all this has a separate meaning. By the way, at this moment there is a cross on the statue, but there is no briefcase with Aziraphale (4).

But it seems there is a FRESH HOLE in the ground right next to the statue (5). That second clue.

Well, here’s the thing: Aziraphale found the Book, took it, put it in the briefcase and hid it on the same graveyard in a crypt we know. Exactly the same way as Ben Gunn hid the treasure, moving it from the original location to the cave. The crypt is the perfect hiding place. No one knows about it (except the Masons?), but it is a very memorable place for Crowley (the demon immediately recalls the story of Wee Morag as soon as Aziraphale SPECIFICALLY mentions the surgeon). It is extremely dangerous to take the Book to London: the Archangels are trampling around the bookstore, and on his way to Edinburgh, Shax broke into the car. Right now neither the angel nor the demon needs the Book, but it is easy to take away if needed (6). I have no doubt that Crowley KNOWS where the Book actually is. This alone explains his absolute calm when Michael proceeds to a direct threat to immediately apply the "Extreme Sanctions" (7). And the Metatron, who at that moment enters the bookstore, sees and hears everything.

He can't help but realize that both Crowley and Aziraphale KNOW. That’s one of the reasons why he’s so alarmed and casts such a stiff stare at Crowley, who is calmly lounging in a chair. He knows, but he can't do anything yet. The big game is just beginning.

(1) 00:48 S1Ep.2 (2) 21:22 Ep.3 (3) 34:02-34:08 Ep.3 (4) 36:37 Ep.3 (5) 36:54 Ep.3 (6) Neil mentioned that Aziracrow can move between locations by miracle, they just don’t like to do it because they’re used to imitating people. (7) 33:41 Ep.6