#blame it on uhhhh the language barrier i guess (basic info i should've known already and i'm crying about it)

[mornynge]

Indulgence

Rating: Mature (18+) Relationship: Sai/Adam Warnings: Mentions of blood, infidelity With Sai and Adam left alone at the warehouse and the tension thick enough to cut with a knife, yet another barrier breaks between the two.

What a mess.

What else is there to say in the current situation. Sai holds onto the edges of the sink with a nauseating feeling of failure hanging over him. They're nowhere close to dealing with the problem at hand and his body continues to fail him. Yet again he's at the mercy of something he doesn't understand. It's frustrating, to put it lightly. Looking down at the running water, Sai finally remembers what he came here for. Hours in the library began to eat at his sanity, so he came here to rest, to put his mind at ease - if only for a few minutes. Splashing his face with water and letting it comfort him for a moment, a faint noise finally reaches his ears. The doors to his room open with a familiar creak, an issue that he swore was fixed by now.

"You're back already?" he calls out, drying his face with a towel before throwing it onto a nearby chair "I thought the Agency wouldn't let you leave until-" As he peers around the corner, expecting to see a familiar figure and those brown eyes that capture his very soul, a smile creeps onto his lips. But the figure standing in the middle of his room is not Nate. Far from it.

"Adam," Sai almost takes a step back.

"I'm sorry to intrude." Icy green eyes gaze at him from above, sending shivers down his spine. "I knocked but there was no response and I thought-"

"You knocked? Sorry, I…" Sai rubs at the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache forming between his eyes. "I didn't hear anything. I was trying to rest." He doesn't know why he's explaining himself to Adam of all people, "I didn't mean to worry you."

Adam doesn't move, doesn't speak either. Sai lets out a sigh, as if to fill the awkward silence, before moving closer to his bed. He sits down, his muscles as tense as ever. After another minute, he realizes that Adam hasn't moved from his spot.

"Adam?" Sai turns to face him, "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to check on you," Adam shifts at his own words, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Check on me? Adam I'm…" He's not fine, far from it. But as much as he'd wish to be truthful with the others, he doesn't want to be a burden. It feels as if it's all he's been lately.

"I know you're capable of taking care of yourself," Adam takes a step forward, "But you have your limits."

Sai can only scoff at his words, too exhausted for a lecture. Adam takes yet another step towards him and Sai can only wonder why is he still here. He checked on him, he saw that Sai was fine - that should be enough.

"I understand your concerns, but I'm okay," by the time he says anything, Adam stops right before him, a mix of emotions in his eyes. Sai can feel his own heart beat a little faster at the proximity. He looks up to meet Adam's gaze. They could say so many things to one another, and yet, neither says anything. The eye contact alone is enough.

Adam reaches out with his hand, so slowly that Sai thinks he's imagining it. But no, the tips of his fingers brush against Sai's cheek, in a manner so delicate, so deliberate. And Sai falls into the touch, resting his cheek in Adam's hand, closing his eyes. Minutes pass, or at least, it feels like they do. Time seems to blend together when they're next to each other. Sai feels his heart slow down to its usual rhythm, his muscles relax, his growing headache fading. They could stay like this forever - he thinks, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. That is, until he feels Adam's hand pulling away.

"Adam?"

"I…" He looks to the side, as if he was contemplating something. Streaks of pain flash on his face if only for a moment, before he turns back to look at Sai.

"I should get back to… To it. I'll let you rest," but as Adam moves to leave, Sai stands up, so quickly he almost loses his balance, grasping by his wrist. Adam looks back, surprised by this rather bold move, breath catching in his throat. Sai's own face is pained, his hazel eyes filled with nothing but desperation for this moment to last a little longer. His heart is pounding again, his emotions threatening to spill all over. How many times will he do this to him? How many times will he show his own selfish desires and longings, only to pull back? And suddenly, amidst heavy silence and their hearts beating out of rhythm, they're very much aware of how close they are.

And something breaks.

Their lips crash into one another, hungry and desperate for what they've been denying themselves for months. Sai feels Adam's hands wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, Adam's form hovering over his body. In a frantic move, almost beyond his control, Adam pushes Sai further onto the bed - crawling on top of him in one swift motion. He swears he hears Sai say something but the heat of the moment overwhelms him, making it harder to focus. They kiss, again and again, messily and without a thought.

Adam stops, only when he feels Sai's hands reaching for his belt. Their eyes meet, if for a moment.

"We can't," Adam says, no more than a whisper.

"Why not," Sai counters, words escaping his lips between shaken breaths.

"I can't do this to him," they both know who Adam is speaking of, yet neither of them is brave enough to say his name. Not now, when Adam can feel the hardness between Sai's legs as he presses against him, their bodies still wrapped around each other in a mockery of lust.

"But you would do this to me?" Sai's words cut through his heart, in a cruel realization that he's right.

He could still leave. Even if it hurts them both. Push, whatever this is, deep down into his memories and try to forget about it - like he has done with so many other things in life. But this is different, isn't it - Adam thinks to himself, as Sai's entire being shakes underneath his touch. There's no going back from this. This is more than a few stolen glances, this is more than an accidental touch. If he leaves now, how long will it take for them to be back in this exact situation again? But if they go further…

But they won't go further. They can't go further. Yet a part of him needs it like a drowning man needs air. To have Sai in his embrace, to hear his shattered breaths, to feel him in more ways than one.

A compromise then - Adam thinks to himself, as their lips meet once again. He pulls Sai even closer, feeling his fingers tug at his shirt, before pushing his hair out of the way. For a moment, hesitation tugs at his heart, as he bares his fangs before him. But Sai doesn't push him away, he doesn't protest. With his cheeks flushed and his eyes barely opened, he tilts his neck to the side.

Adam's teeth sink into his neck, drawing both blood from flesh and a moan out of Sai's lips - now parted in expression of pure bliss and ecstasy. His eyes roll backwards before disappearing completely behind half closed eyelids. His breathing is quick and uneven, his whole body shaking as his nails claw into Adam's neck. And Adam drinks, savouring the taste, while his own hands hold onto Sai's body.

He pulls away a moment later, blood dripping from his lips onto Sai's half-opened shirt, breathing heavily. They both do - holding onto one another, not willing to let go - unable to catch a breath.

Minutes pass in silence before Adam pushes himself off of Sai, stumbling into a bedside table behind him. He feels Sai's blood still - on his lips, in his throat, in the very pit of his stomach. It's intoxicating, making him wish for more. He looks down at the other man, Sai trying to steady his own breathing, as he lifts himself up from the tangled sheets. Sweat coats his brow, the bite mark still bleeding - forming a streak of blood down to his collarbone, his long hair a mess.

Only now does Adam realize that he has pushed Sai over the edge, his trousers stained with his own release.

Adam wipes the blood off of his lips with his hand, smudging it across his chin. He'll have to clean up - he thinks, looking down and seeing his own clothes disheveled and messy. He feels something akin to panic slowly raising in his body, making his hands shake, as he keeps looking down. They should've waited - he thinks - they moved too fast, they should've…

"Adam?" Sai's voice tears him away from a sudden contemplation of his actions. It's quiet and gentle, yet filled with so much uncertainty. You've done this to him - a thought latches onto his mind - and you'll both suffer because of it.