#born again identity

[thefabledpheasant]

I watched a video of Jensen ackles opinion on the scene in 7x17 where Dean returns Cas’ coat, and he said it was out of character for Dean to have it folded up like that. Which I thought was really interesting because I disagree completely. Dean, as a character, is extremely emotional. He feels a lot and he cares a lot and so much so, that he has to repress so much of it to get through his life.

Whether you ship Destiel or not, Dean obviously cared tremendously about Cas. During Cas’ very brief stint as Emmanuel, Dean tells him: “I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't - I don't know why.”

While I do interpret this as an indication of his romantic feelings for Castiel, either way, this line is Dean stating very obviously that what happened with Castiel has been weighing very heavily on him and he thinks about it a lot. It also shows just how deeply he cared for Castiel.

The trench coat is the last thing left of this person he cares about. What’s he supposed to do with it? He wouldn’t throw it away. THAT’S out of character. I think it’d be in character for Dean to burn the coat as as a final goodbye, the traditional hunters funeral, but it’s canon that a part of Dean believed Cas would come back. The line is in the promo for the episode and Jensen & Misha even mention it being in the original script. Which means no burning the coat.

Then what is he going to do with it? He wouldn’t just throw it somewhere haphazardly. When you lose someone, you treat whatever is left of them with the love you have for the person that’s gone. That’s grief. So, OF COURSE he folded it nice and neatly. I don’t think it’s out of character at all.

When it comes to the fact that he had the coat with him in a stolen car, that’s when we definitively cross the threshold into romantic territory. I think the place the coat made the most sense, from a platonic perspective, is stored somewhere in either their cabin or Bobby’s house.

Dean had to constantly, purposefully transfer this coat from stolen car to stolen car. The coats only purpose is to remind him of Cas. It’s not like the coat actually does anything. Cas doesn’t NEED the coat, so it’s not like he kept it on him at all times because it’s important that Cas have the coat if he were to come back.

I don’t personally think it is out of character for Dean to do what he did. I think Jensen thinks it’s out of character because he viewed the whole thing as romantic and doesn’t believe Dean is in love with Cas. And while I agree the whole thing feels romantic, I don’t think the act of folding the coat neatly is inherently romantic or out of character. It’s just grief.

[hexedwinchester]

Sam Freakin Winchester

His mental and physical health is spiralling and here he is working a little case. He didn't have to! He could have curled up on the bed and never lift a finger again. But no, he helped her get rid of her brother's Ghost. Sam freakin Winchester is a hero.

[destielwarmsthecocklesofmyheart]

sooooo… i dont see people talk about THIS enough

‘emanuel’ saw something he LOVED in daphnes eyes… like the color maybe…

i mean JESUS they couldnt be closer if they tried… and i think they tried lol

[strawlessandbraless]

Emmanuel finally convinces Daphne to peg him but the next day a handsome stranger shows up and her depraved husband won’t stop staring at him

And the first ex wife bites the dust…

[jaredwalkersam]

Sam Winchester † The Born again Identity

[jarpadandjensens]

Sam Birthday Week | Day 6 | trauma

@suncaptor @seasononesam

[lightgamble]

DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.09

You couldn't call me?

[farenmaddox]

every day I am tormented by the question of Daphne Allen and what the actual fuck was up with that whole situation. daily. wondering about her whole deal is simply my cross to bear, i guess.

[pastafossa]

DDBA THOUGHTS, FIRST TWO EPS.

It's been roughly 90 minutes and I am still processing, jesus fucking christ.

Set behind a cut due to spoilers but my thoughts are pretty positive, even if that shit ran my heart over like a dump truck. Below you will find:

My frantic reaction thoughts I wrote down during or immediately after (character dissections will be marked)

My overall thoughts on the first 2 eps as a whole

Dissection of Matt and where I think he's at currently in this headspace

Yes that's right, I'm using the sad gif. Spoilers ahead. Feel free to skip down to whichever part you like!

I will have more thoughts tomorrow but I am still feeling fucking weird because I'm trying to process both the new series events and the fact that Our Man is back after 6 years in show format and I feel like someone who's gone from starving to suddenly full of food and my body is CONFUSED

The mood whiplash in the first 15 mins going from, yup we're all happy, to absolute fucking building dread and then horrified agony was, I won't lie, well done. You made me want to vomit, thanks writers.

Spent the whole fight with Bullseye just sobbing and whispering, 'oh no, oh no, oh Foggy, baby, no, Matt, no-', pretty sure some part of me inside is stiiiiiiiiill sobbing, it will always be sobbing, gonna relive that for days 😭

Matt crying on the rooftop? Him being so fucking distraught that all he could do was lean on Dex even though Dex was the killer? Just fucking gut me. Worst we've ever seen him, bar none.

DISSECTION MOMENT: He pushes Dex over the edge. I'd wondered if he'd try to kill Dex, with that being his, 'A Line Was Crossed', and tbh I think if any canon death could make Matt kill, it would be Foggy's. And he certainly tried. Matt's always walked such a fine line when it comes to murder, and he's come VERY close before, usually only dodging it because the baddie gets lucky or we can squint and say they did it to themselves. Welp, here we are again, and this time I think the only reason Dex is alive is because of all that technology we saw them packing into Dex at the end of S3. To Matt? To Matt, he killed. That Dex technically lived is a coincidence. Matt tried to break his rule. He tried.

Yes I am still parked in Denial Hill wondering if Foggy will come around somehow, I need some time to organize my thoughts, but even if he's dead dead, I'm going to wait and see if they pull an Elektra and find some way to revive him.

DISSECTION MOMENT: Matt's new apartment (RIP our beloved old loft cause someone's living there now from what I understand) is nice but something I noticed is it's... a little colder. And I think that's intentional. Matt's old apartment was rougher around the edges, warmer, and I'd argue a little more symbolic both of the Kitchen and who he was each night on the streets. Half the reason he chose that old apartment was the roof access. This new apartment is for a Matt who's trying very hard to be done with Daredevil and live life only as Matt. He's locked away from the streets with no easy way to go running, he's situated high and cool and distant, with all those floors to slow him down if he gets impulsive.

Matt just disassociating his way through his breakfast and morning coffee, yup he's totally fine, definitely not trying to block out all those screams.

DISSECTION MOMENT: EXCUSE ME, CARRYING AROUND FOGGY'S MEMORIAL CARD. 😭 Personal theory is he's not just carrying it to have a little of Foggy with him, but because he's trying to remind himself why he's not being Daredevil anymore since he thinks that doing that got Foggy killed.

Queenpin, good for her.

Really liked the touch of Matt cooking in the dark because he doesn't need light. And I liked the addition of the neon lighting flashing in his windows, a good callout to his old apartment.

I'm also digging both Kirsten and Heather, esp Heather who we get more of. There's chemistry there, and she rolls with Matt pretty well. I'm very interested to see how she handles the Shenanigans TM that I'm sure he'll get up to later. I'd love if he could have a healthy canon relationship for once but this is also matt soooo. And that KISS, damn, when is it my turn

THE DINER SCENE WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED, THESE TWO ARE SO FUCKING PERFECT IN EVERY SCENE YOU HAVE THEM IN TOGETHER, GD

DISSECTION MOMENT: No but I really do think this is something that would keep Matt out of Hell's Kitchen for a bit as he struggles with his identity, his trauma, his fear, and with the 'costs' of what he does. All that work and he feels like he failed. He couldn't save the one person that mattered most to him. On top of that? He crossed his line. He tried to kill someone and would have succeeded if Dex hadn't been built different. All of that trauma around what happened... yeah I could see him trying to hang the cowl up and move to a new neighborhood in hopes that he'd be able to escape. And he is trying to escape. He's pushing all that down, pushing and pushing and I'm Fine-ing like he has with every previous death in his life, holding up like a good Catholic boy, but the cracks are showing. He's a powder keg.

YET MORE DISSECTION: And holy fucking shit when he blows up does he go. That fight at the end of the 2nd Episode had me feral. Definition of FAFO. I know I've seen some mixed opinions on the opening fight, but that fight at the end of ep 2 is exactly what I wanted, that was perfect. Him begging them to stop because he's trying not to do this, trying not to fight, he's afraid of what he'll do if it gets out, but the second that blood droplet hit the floor (LOVED that shot), you knew that was it, ding ding, Round One. I loved how vicious that fight was, I need to rewatch it 10 TIMES.

That final scream. What's that Matt? You're saying you're not fine? You're not handling this well? Whoever could have predicted that you mashing all that grief and rage down would come out like that, not me it was me though i predicted that.

Intrigued by that Punisher tattoo the dirty cop had on him.

OH MY GOD SHE'S THEIR MARITAL COUNSELOR, GOOD FUCKING LUUUUUCK

Man, Karen just fucking skedaddled and I'm wondering if this isn't because she's going to spiral out in CA like she does in the comics so she comes back having also gone through it (I realize it was because, in reality, they had to explain why she wasn't there because otherwise they'd have to rewrite and reshoot everything, but we're talking in universe here). Karen also has a tendency to run, much like she tries to do in S3. We know she'll be back though.

MY THOUGHTS OVERALL:

So.

(puts hands together and breathes because this was a lot and I'm still processing both the return of our man after 6 years and the show events themselves)

So.

So.

I'm obviously gutted over Foggy, I'll be crying over that for a bit even if I still have a lil hope, and am willing to just fix it in fanfic otherwise. But... I liked this. A lot. It's not exactly the Netflix show, which I'll always be nostalgic for, but quite frankly it was never going to be that show - too much time has passed, and batons have changed hands in terms of writing, directing, cinematography, etc. I'm ok with this being a little different. I'm ok with there being some small humps to get over, cause god knows S2 had its issues too (I love you, OG DD, but it's true). I'm really really optimistic about this.

I do think you can also see some slight tonal shifts between stuff that was salvaged from the original writing arc, and what Scardapane has added in during reshoots. And those moments Scardapane's got control are the best, even if I think they've done pretty damn good during the rest of it considering all the shakeups during production. I'm going to be very interested to see what happens in S2 where you've got a singular creator with consistent control, and I'm very excited for the final two episodes of S1 which are both all under Scardapane's hand. The best part is Matt is still Matt. The dialogue, what he's trying to do, even him pulling a, "that part of my life is over" is very him. His resistance to becoming DD again (though as my dad snorted when we were watching and Matt told Fisk that part of his life was over, 'HA! Horseshit.' Cue dad's smug 'HA! Told you.' During the ep 2 fight) feels... like a natural progression, and Charlie's playing it well.

MY THOUGHTS ON MATT, PLEASE STAND BY FOR ULTIMATE DISSECTION.

Oh boy. Oh boy. As predicted, our man is going through it and you can see it (God bless you Charlie, you're as wonderful an actor as ever). He's convinced, of course, that he's doing ok. He's holding down a good job, he's got a new apartment, he's managing to ignore the screams at night even if he has to drown it out with music and live up so high to try to muffle it, he's not laying in bed like a lump, he's not going out to fight, whatever you do, don't go out there, if I go I'll slip again. But this isn't a man who's ok. This is a man who's terrified and wracked with guilt because not only did his life as Daredevil (in his mind) lead to his best friend's death, but he broke his rule. He made the kill move, gave into his grief and his rage, and it was only through luck that Dex lived. It would only eat at him more that it was over Foggy, one of the people who regularly encouraged Matt to hold back from taking that final step. Matt knows Foggy wouldn't have wanted that for Matt.

He was warned that one day he'd kill someone. And he tried to do it.

Giving up Daredevil is what Foggy would have wanted. I have no doubt he's telling himself that.

But you can only cut away part of yourself for so long before it finds a way out. Matt will never be able to resist going to help those who need it. He'll never be able to fully turn away, and he enjoys those fights.

That's where that scream comes from at the end of Ep 2. He has done everything he's supposed to. He's given it all up, he's moved, he's focused on the law only, and he even fucking begged them to leave him be. He let them beat him and beat him and beat him, and still he didn't raise a hand.

Not until that gun came out.

And he snapped.

Everything done right, and still he finds his way here again, with blood on his fists and his adrenaline up and, I'm sure, no small bit of guilty enjoyment over suddenly being back in a fight that he won.

Our man is not ok, and I think he's going to realize that going forward.

This IS our man. There's some frayed edges here - there usually are in pilots, in shows that had this many production issues. But there is so, so much good here too to build on and I'm eager to see where Charlie and them take it even if it winds up crushing my heart a bit more in the process.

[shallowseeker]

hello there!! i’ve been searching for posts about how dean’s “i need you” in goodbye stranger feels more significant (i guess is the word?) than the original “i love you” and i was wondering what your thoughts on it were :)

I think a poet might be able to answer your ask better, so I invite my dashfam to point me to good linguistic posts.

///

As for me, I'm not sure I actually consider one line more meaningful than the other, and I'm not convinced Cas would have understood "I love you" at this point in his life (mentally wounded, brainwashed, thrown around by Heaven) any better than an "I need you."

I think it's highly likely that Cas wasn't actually lying when he said he didn't know what broke the connection in the crypt. That perhaps he couldn't parse his own feelings, especially with his then-fresh mental wounds. (I have this frankly incoherent rambling about how the inability to translate the angel tablet in season 8 is in parallel to how Cas can't read his own emotions/heart. I'll rewrite it to make it make more sense... someday.)

On the other hand, unlike Cas, I think Dean's I love you / I need you line does imply that Dean has worked through his own turbulent confusion with "why Cas feels different than everyone else." We see the line of questioning introduced in The Born-Again Identity, with Dean pondering aloud why he can't shake this and insisting that "of course (the reason) matters!" Dean realized back then that Cas was different. It was charged with... something.

Then, we see such jilted behavior from Dean in the episodes after this... both with Naomi's "I only wish he felt the same way," and Dean's silent treatment towards Cas in the bunker. It seems to me that Dean knows his own heart and is frustrated trying to "read" Cas's intentions, especially with how Heaven keeps wounding Cas over and over, rendering Cas psychologically unable to find his own footing (which is why Cas flees; all that brainwashing is too topsy-turvey for him to get his own bearings and directions sorted out).

///

But I think what interests me most about this season with regards to "I need you," is in the continued motif of Dean's outstretched hand.

We first see Dean's outstretched hand introduced in Purgatory, and it is THE through-line for much of the season. Even the scenes and relationships that aren't about Cas... are about Cas. When Cas throws Dean's hand away, Dean is floored—wounded to the point of rewriting his own memory. After he learns the truth, he's left wondering if he's misunderstood everything that was growing between him and Cas.

But Dean's "I need you / I love you" speaks to his consistently reaching out to Cas anyway, despite all the odds and despite Cas's numerous rejections. Dean just keeps reaching for Cas. He can't help it! (Dean is holding out hope that they do want each other, once the interference and obstacles are removed, that maybe they'll see that in each other... if they just get the chance.)

The motif of hands is so fascinating in season 8, because it's echoed in other relationships, too. For example, when Sam loses faith in himself, he injures his own hand, which Dean bandages in an echo of Church as "the small family supporting each other," against a gorgeous background of the Church as "the corporate megapower," with the angels falling. (It's a beautiful contrast of the different human and angel families.)

There's also how Cas cuts off the hand of (romantic) love, The Cupid, and how the Cupid willingly lets it happen. She extends her hand and lets Cas cut if off, the same way Dean was extending his hand to Cas in the crypt, thinking "I love you. I forgive you," and saying "I need you. We're family."

///Note: It's also like Theee Mixtape: (Love) is a gift. You keep those.

Reaching out is about love, acceptance, and connection. While Dean is doing all this reaching, Cas spends the season being psychologically wounded and threatened by Heaven, running for safety, and then--cutting out hearts and cutting off hands.

///

Yes, so when I look at the Crypt scene, and I see Cas twist and break Dean's arms and Dean is still REACHING... that is what fascinates me the most.

In this season, Dean is trying to help Cas at his own expense, even though Dean wants them to be together, he's helping Cas "fix Heaven," even though Heaven is going to take Cas away from Dean.

//

^ Here they sit, no longer in the kitchen-of-intimacy but in the bar-of-friendship, lamenting their inability to be in a romantic relationship together.

Dean knows he's in love with Cas at this point, I think, and while he suspected Cas had feelings for him, Dean withdraws, trying to respect Cas's space and support him in his chosen path of permanent, painful separation. (Dean knows how it is, of course, to support your family at the expense of your own personal happiness.)

Little does Dean know, that Cas's main motivation for fixing Heaven is to protect his human family. Metatron echoes it, and in The Great Escapist Naomi underlines to Cas that Heaven would not hesitate hurt his human loved ones.

METATRON: At the very least, it would st – [dog barking in distance, another warning] It would stop the fighting up there from spilling out down here, which will happen. It always does.

(In her pursuit of Cas, Naomi destroys the humans in the family diner in The Great Escapist.)

///

But by the time Cas is actually ready to take Dean's hand, Gadreel engineers a reversal of the outstretched hand, kicking Cas out of the bunker, in a parallel to Dean from season 8, Cas is the one left thinking that he's misunderstood everything.

This is underlined by his soliloquy to the baby. In an episode where it's shown that "medic angels" react to emotional pain as readily as physical, we're left to wonder: is this how angels were trained to deaden their emotions in the first place?

No wonder they might not recognize what they're feeling. No wonder Cas has struggled to connect to his own emotions whether he's human or angel. Maybe it takes "becoming closer to human" for angels to connect with that deadened part of their hearts/minds.

CASTIEL (to the baby): Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just … shoved out kicking and screaming into this human life, without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels, or why this confusion, which feels like it's … a hair's breadth (The baby stops crying.) from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand, it'll turn out you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all. Guess that's just how it is when you're new at this. You know, it wasn't that long ago when all I'd need to do to ease your pain was touch you.

I think it's so fascinating that Dean and Cas are framed as (romantically) reaching for each other over and over,. Not to mention, with Dean wearing "the handprint" on his shoulder, because Dean's a character with his heart obviously on his sleeve... if you dare to REALLY look at him anyway (as Dean invited Mary to do, to see him).

In Dean and Cas's fights, they tend to break each others' arms/hands, and yet... they continue to reach for each other... in parallel.

x - x - x - x - x - x - x

///

ADDITION: That family needs each other is a theme that is used over and over in this series. We are shown loss and love in almost every form (familial, friendship, etc. Ex: The Chuck and Amara forgiveness speech.)

But it's the motifs around the Dean-Cas one in particular that lends an intensely romantic context that imho sets it apart from the other instances.

[twilight-deviant]

[Echo 1x05 / Daredevil: Born Again 1x01]

[strawlessandbraless]

The born-again identity but cas comes to with the word Dean rolling around in his brain. So when Daphne finds him and asks his name, he says the only one he’s ever known - Dean

[hoarderheart]

could you imagine? imagine being dean, secretly praying with every last bit of hope you’ve got left in you that somehow, someway, cas will come back. and then he does. and everything is complicated and he doesn’t wanna be here, and he tells you that he doesn’t deserve to live because he can’t fix what he’s done. and so he looks you in the eye and asks, why did i even walk out of that river? what any reason can ever justify me still being alive? and you think, because i need you. because i want you. and you think, what a selfish thing to say. to put the brunt of your own desire on someone who’s clearly already so burdened by the weight of their own being. to love someone so wholly, including the parts that they deeply loathe about themself, the parts that makes them wanna die, which means everything. to have desperately clung onto the possibility that they’d be back, holding onto that stupid fucking coat, now realizing that they deem their unending existence a cruel joke. a cosmic punishment. and so instead you say, maybe to fix it. maybe if we can fix this mess together, you’ll stay right here with me a little longer. and then you hand him back the coat where your heart has been, where the love went when there was no body to receive it. and it fits him like a uniform.

[jarpadandjensens]

#SamWeek2024 | day 4 | Mental Health Sam | 7.17

[ @seasononesam @suncaptor ]

[dessertbird]

Daily Destiel 💙💚

The trenchcoat. 🧥😍❤️

[winchesticles67]

this is my first time doing smth like this so ofc i went all out and made 20 of them.