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auroraphilealis · 8 years ago

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Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) Chapter Thirteen

Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) 13/24

Genre: Chaptered, fantasy AU, Prince!Phil, Thief!Dan, romance, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff, slow burn (like serious slow burn)

Warnings: some violence, mentions of death (no main characters), dark magic, descriptions of wounds/blood, some hints of sexual scenes (but no actual smut), murder, dangerous situations, stealing/thievery

Summary: Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of Morellia, Philip Lester has never been given the chance to find love. Instead, he’s run from a system that works to end class differences and improve equality for its citizens. Happy as he is to make the world a better place, Phil can’t help feeling bitter towards his ancestors for making it impossible for him to find someone who will actually love him for more than just his title, and strives instead for a life of justice and doing good - only to meet his match in the King of Thieves, a man who will change everything he once thought he knew in life. Together, they must depart on a quest to save the kingdom, and, in the process, destroy their differences and find their own form of love.

Word count: 240,000+

Updates: Sunday

Thanks so much to @botanistlester for betaing this giant monster, as she’s been super helpful and encouraging with her little comments and endless excitement. We couldn’t have done it without you <3

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil

For reference, @snowbunnylester is Phil, @ineverhadmyinternetphase is Dan

Hey guys! I just wanted to make a quick note at the top of this chapter. There’s been a lot of… backlash and comments regarding the previous chapter of this fic, and it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for both me and @ineverhadmyinternetphase. We’d like to address a few of these things here.

1. We promised/warned at the beginning of this fic that the rating would never go over pg-13. There will never be an overabundance of nsfw content other than implied and a little bit of nudity. This is down to a few things. I am ace flux, which means that I experience every form of asexuality at different levels at different times. There are days where I am completely repulsed, and days when I am fine, but I am always asexual. Julia, meanwhile, is always sex repulsed. This means that, as a duo, we made the decision to never write anything more than implied smut, particularly as that is something Julia is completely against, and I understand her completely as I have days where I am completely against it as well. I would like to reassure our readers who were worried we’d change the rating or include nsfw that this will never happen, while also informing those readers who are disappointed by this why we choose to keep the rating at pg-13. If this is a deal breaker for you, we apologize, but we will not be changing the rating at any time.

2. The entire debate/fight over Phil being a bottom has extremely upset me. I talked a lot about it on my blog, but essentially, I just want to say that both Julia and I feel that sex isn’t about power, but about mutuality, and affection, and that is why, as you will see, Dan and Phil share a very versatile lifestyle in this fic. Please don’t attack us for choosing to write them in this way; there is nothing wrong with preferring Phil as a top, but there is something wrong in attacking the others for doing something that defies the norm in the phandom.

3. Please do not go to Julia (@ineverhadmyinternetphase) regarding anything that has to do with the implied nsfw content of this fic. I’m super sex repulsed most of the time, so anything to do with asking for smut/nsfw content makes me want to throw up. Feel free to come chat to me about literally anything else though, including why I want to write fics that don’t have nsfw themes (there’s a whole bunch of acearo goodness in that answer xD)

4. We will never write any scene outside of this fic that is nsfw as a side chapter or a bonus chapter etc… This is because this makes Julia incredibly uncomfortable to think of her characters as doing nsfw things in general outside of the implied stuff we did write, and it makes me uncomfortable to even consider writing something without my co author for our co-authored fic, if that makes sense.

5. Please read this post, in regards to some of the unfriendly comments we have been receiving in some ways.

(AO3 Link) (Masterlist) (Previous)

Chapter Thirteen

The stars were out.

Phil was shivering and emotionally drained, giggling against Dan's lips and shuffling to get more comfortable pressed against him, limbs curled around his thief’s. His thief was so warm against him, even in the cold of his cave; maybe it was the fact that he was flushed, or maybe Dan was just always warm, but it hardly mattered. Phil was soaking it all up, warm from the inside out, and impossibly giddy after what they’d just done, what they’d shared together. He’d never felt so… close, to another human being, and to have shared that with Dan… it meant more to Phil than he could explain.

The animal skins beneath their bodies were covered in sweat, but Phil didn’t care. He was too busy kissing Dan, smiling against his lips, enjoying the way the other man had relaxed completely next to him, pliant to his every desire

They were dressed again, sort of. Phil had blushed so much at the end there that Dan had chuckled at him and retrieved both pairs of pants for them to pull back on. It had soothed Phil quite a bit, to not be completely exposed anymore, and Dan had been respectful as always, keeping his gaze above the waist as Phil got dressed. Now, though, now Phil couldn’t seem to stop touching all of Dan’s scarred and exposed skin, drawing pointless patterns against him like the love-sick fool that he was, and teasing at the dark marks Dan had taught him to leave properly.

“How’s that, then?” Phil mumbled, pressing two fingers into one such mark on Dan’s skin - one of the very few marks on Dan’s body that Phil himself had left, rather than - someone else.

Honestly, Phil had so many questions about all that. He wanted to trace every single one of Dan’s scars and ask him he’d gotten them, but he was far too busy feeling all fluttery and giddy inside to bother the warm atmosphere the two of them had buried themselves inside.

Besides… they’d have time for questions later, surely.

Phil was warm, so warm, against him as Dan lay on his bed of furs, their limbs entirely wrapped together. He had his head on Phil's shoulder, with Phil's arms tight around him, and their legs entangled under a soft blue blanket. The stars twinkled delicately through the cavern roof, providing just enough light for Dan to watch the way Phil's chest moved as he breathed, to stare at the contrast in their skin tone as he splayed his fingers out across Phil's ribs.

Dan shivered a little under Phil's touches, as Phil seemed to have an unnecessary desire to touch Dan everywhere, all over his scarred and marked flesh. Dan didn't understand the fascination. His body was a mess, beaten and broken from a hard life on the streets, but Phil... Phil was a creature of beauty, and Dan could stare at him forever.

Lightly, because he could now, Dan's fingers trailed down Phil's chest, exploring again the flesh he'd come to know so well. Phil's skin was soft and warm and so, so smooth, showing his life of comfort, but the way his muscles bunched belied his strength and years of training. Dan was fascinated, and he traced the pattern of Phil's freckles in the same way Phil traced Dan's scars. He could spend hours just lying here, in casual intimacy, tracing patterns on Phil's flesh and watching the way his eyes softened when he looked at Dan. Dan would never be over this. He'd never had intimacy like this before - not after he'd got what he wanted.

Phil was going to destroy him.

The oval locket Dan had given Phil earlier was still around his neck, lying against Phil's chest, and Dan felt a pang of longing when he saw it. It was so right to have it sitting there on Phil - like it belonged, like he carried part of Dan with him. Because he did. Dan had slowly but surely given his heart to this Prince, and there was no taking it back now. Dan was going straight to hell, but as he lay gently on Phil's chest, in Phil's arms, he couldn't even bring himself to regret it.

Dan gave a little shudder when two of Phil's fingers pressed against a mark at his collarbone, and he tilted his head up just enough to send Phil an unimpressed look. "Excuse you. I was busy; quit distracting me." He shifted a little closer, sliding a leg around Phil's and winding his arm securely around Phil's waist, nuzzling his head into Phil's collarbone. He snickered against his skin. "Besides, I think you're a bit more marked up than me. With a bit more practise, we'll get you there."

Phil couldn't help but laugh at Dan’s comment even as the flush raced down his chest all over again. He was so tempted to shove Dan away from him for it, except he really didn't want Dan to move. It felt so good being tangled up the way they were, like nothing Phil had ever felt before. Sure, he and Dan had shared a bed last night, cuddled a few times before now, and even been pressed together more than once, but this? This was different. This was so much more, unafraid as they were to tangle their bodies together completely now they'd seen all of each other.

Besides… it was true that Dan had managed to lay more waste to Phil’s pale skin than Phil had managed to Dan, but he didn’t mind so much anymore. His body still prickled a bit with the feeling it had given him, and that was nice, wonderful even. Phil pressed his nose to Dan’s curly hair instead, and just kind of took all of this moment in.

He was still grinning when he asked, “But I’m distracting you with what, exactly?”

Phil’s fingers trailed up Dan’s back. He could just about see a particularly nasty scar from his position curled over Dan’s head, right at his shoulder blade, and his fingers curled around it automatically. It looked kind of like a stab wound, if Phil had to guess, and it hurt him to know what Dan had to have been through in his short life so far. Still, though… he wanted to know it all.

“I don’t see you doing anything but touching me, after all. I couldn't possibly be distracting you from that, my thief,” Phil said, and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Dan’s head.

Dan stretched out luxuriously under Phil's touch, purring like a cat. He lived for having his hair touched, even in its current curly state, and so he unashamedly pressed his head into Phil's touch to demand more affection there.

"Precisely," Dan sniffed, "I was busy looking at you." He traced his fingers in one smooth swipe down Phil's ribs to his hip, tapping them lightly against Phil's skin and delighting in the way Phil shivered under his touch. Dan wanted to tease every possible reaction out of Phil, to watch his face shift as Dan grew to know his body, grew to know him. He was itching with the desire to be as close to Phil as possible, emotionally as well as physically, in every sense of the word.

Phil's hand continued down Dan's back, and he stretched again, enjoying it, until Phil's fingers brushed a scar just under Dan's right shoulder blade. Dan winced, just a little, and shifted out from under the touch. It was an old wound, but a painful one, and much as Dan didn't want Phil to stop touching him, well, ever, there were some things he was a little vulnerable about.

Dan hated being vulnerable, even if Phil was surrounding him like a warm, comforting blanket. He loved this intimacy, but it would take some getting used to.

When Dan flinched, Phil glanced down to see if he was okay, and then moved his fingers away from the spot he'd been touching before. He reminded himself not to bother that particular scar in the future, and moved his hands instead back up to Dan's hair where he knew his thief seemed to like being touched. In fact, Dan seemed to enjoy any touch to his hair, because there had been a point when tugging on it was a thing, and Dan had only seemed to encourage it.

"Mm, well. I'd much rather be bothering you, so pay attention to me," Phil teased, pouting a bit as he reached down to tip Dan's chin up to look at him, wanting to see those warm brown eyes boring into his own. He grinned when Dan did look up, and leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, closing his eyes when he was done and pulling away on the slightest bit. He wanted to be close to Dan.

After all, he liked the way Dan was so comfortable with him now, and that he himself was able to let Dan touch him so easily. His body still shook under the unfamiliar touch, but it was in a pleasant way, and Phil just wanted Dan to keep touching him like this, in casual sweeps of his hand that showed he loved Phil's body just as much as Phil loved Dan’s. Phil didn't quite understand why Dan would want to look at him though; he was just Phil, bulky and pasty skinned. He personally found Dan far more attractive than himself, but then he figured this whole thing wouldn't have worked out if Dan didn’t feel quite the opposite to Phil.

"And you call me needy," Dan snorted, turning his face up when prompted and grinning cheekily at Phil. He closed his eyes briefly when Phil kissed his forehead, and returned the gesture by lightly running his nose up Phil's jaw until he could press a kiss to his cheek. Phil's hand was back in his hair again and Dan made a soft noise of contentment, curling up even closer. His arm settled around Phil's chest, wanting to hold him, to feel him near.

"So. Tell me something..." Phil trailed off, suddenly a bit nervous. For all that Dan had given him, Phil didn't want to push any boundaries. Moving one hand down to Dan's chest, Phil pushed his hand over a patch of skin that was discolored and patchy. "If I may... I want to hear your stories," he requested, pressing his palm harder over the mark in curiosity, hoping Dan would understand him.

Dan shifted a little, rolling onto his side more when Phil drew a line down his chest. As Phil pressed his fingers there, questioning, Dan blinked and followed his gaze to see a discoloured patch of skin - one of his very oldest wounds, barely noticeable now. Dan had almost forgotten it was there.

"Oh, that old thing." Dan shifted a little further to give Phil more room to explore, glancing up to look into Phil's intense blue eyes. Curiosity was the prevailing emotion there right now, and Dan smirked a little. "Want to hear my traveller's tales, Phil? I assure you, they're not as exciting as you might think. But I can indulge you for a while."

When Dan shifted to move onto his side, Phil followed him, resting his head on a bundle of fur right next to Dan's. He was surprisingly comfortable despite missing the silken sheets of his own bed and the royal pillows that took up a good half of his bed, because he was here with Dan, and there was something amazing about sharing his space, learning about him and the life he lived on a daily basis. Settling in for a few good stories, Phil kept his gaze locked on Dan’s face for a moment, until Dan started to show Phil where his scars lay.

Dan stretched again, lifting his hand reluctantly off Phil's chest to instead trace the mark that Phil was still pressing against. "This is an old scar - from when I was a boy, stealing in the markets the first time I ever got caught. My brother was sick, but I'd used up all my father's old herbs and I hadn't got any supplies left, so I went to try and steal from a healer. Unfortunately, I didn't see her rather large son." Dan shook his head, his tone wry. "He only had a small knife on him, thankfully, and the cut didn't last. My brother laughed at me when I got back." Dan closed his fingers around Phil's wrist and moved his hand away from the mark, instead dragging his waiting fingers over to a thin, jagged line that crossed Dan's hip. “This one, though, is more interesting.”

Phil hadn't known Dan's brother was sick. The thought of it made him ill, and his brow furrowed because his people weren't meant to leave orphans to die on their own. Phil didn't know what Dan's brother had had, but the way he spoke of it, it was something his father might have been able to heal had Dan's family not been gone by then already.

Knowing as little as Phil did about Dan’s family didn’t change the part of Phil that wished he could have saved them all, just for Dan.

Phil’s fingers moved gently over each scar as Dan moved his hand, tracing them softly and memorizing the feel under his fingertips. He wanted to know all of Dan, and this was part of Dan, even if it hurt to hear the dangers he’d faced.

“This one,” Dan murmured, pressing against the jagged line, "I was headed into the capital city for the first time. Ages ago - I was fourteen, so - yes, five years ago. I'd heard there was a royal parade going on for the Queen's birthday, so naturally I wanted to cause trouble." The corner of Dan's mouth twitched up. "I snuck all the way into the Town Hall, where you and your family were up on stage. The King was speaking, if I remember correctly, and I was all set to run up there and make a nuisance of myself, but a Royal Guardsmen caught me before I could get more than two feet in. I ran, of course, but he chased me. Nicked me with his blade just before I disappeared over a wall." Dan chuckled. "I think my dislike of the Royal Guard stems from then, as well."

Hearing that even five years ago Dan had intended to be a menace to the royal family surprised a laugh out of the otherwise horrified Phil, and he had to stop and consider what he might have been doing at the royal birthday party back then, if he’d come close to running into Dan himself, maybe had an encounter he’d pushed away…

Ah. Phil remembered, now. He’d been up on stage next to his father, all dressed up in his royal guard gear, still so young and new to the fold, pretending as though he was keeping his family safe when really, it was the men he’d grown up around always protecting him instead. That hadn’t been all, though; no, ironically, that had been one of the first times Phil had felt confident enough to leave the city on his own, sneaking away when everyone’s back was turned, weapon at his hip ready to pick up and use to defend himself should the need arise.

Nudging Dan, Phil smirked at him.

"I remember that celebration. Mother hadn't wanted anything so grand, but father had insisted, saying the world needed to see more of her, and so she'd gone and let father throw the biggest celebration possible. I remember I used that celebration to my advantage, and for the first time in my life, I ventured outside of the city walls all on my own. With everyone so distracted, I was able to slip off into the forests. I had just turned eighteen, thought I was so cool because I'd finally been named an official Royal Guard, but I forgot all my training that night when I ran into a Unicorn. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen," Phil stated softly. "Nearly let myself be killed when it turned and saw me, but… well, better ending than your night," Phil explained, still tracing his fingers over Dan's wound there.

Dan's eyes widened a little. "You saw a unicorn?" He sat up excitedly, shaking his head. "I can't believe it! They're so incredibly rare." Of course, now Dan thought about it, if anyone he knew was going to manage to see a unicorn then it would be Phil. Phil's good heart and moral compass would be more than enough not to scare away such a shy beast, even if it had almost got him killed. That wasn't the first time Phil had mentioned the forest, either. Dan would ask him about it later.

Unable to help his grin, Phil nodded enthusiastically. He'd never actually told anyone that story before, not wanting anyone to know or use it against him or to find another excuse to "want" him. Dan was the first he'd ever told, and he felt kind of proud of it when Dan actually sat up in excited surprise, a tinge of jealousy showing through his words.

“Maybe I’ll tell you all about it another time, but for now… tell me about this scar,” Phil said, interrupting Dan’s excitement to instead trace his fingers up to a strange white crease on Dan’s shoulder, not wanting Dan to stop talking just yet. He wanted Dan to tell him everything, and Phil feared if they turned the attention back to him instead, Dan would forget himself and avoid any more conversation about him.

Glancing down, Dan watched as Phil traced the oddly shaped scar on his shoulder and successfully making him forget about the unicorn, at least for just then. Dan let out a little sigh, staring down and away from Phil's gaze. "Well. Actually, that scar is a little embarrassing." Dan coughed into his hand, then wriggled himself back in close to Phil, so he could hide his face in Phil's neck.

"I got cocky," Dan explained. "I'd been living out on my own for quite a while, generally terrorising the local villages - no cities yet, I was still working my way up - but people had started talking about a King of Thieves who was plaguing the area. I quite liked the title. So I went into the village centre one night, all ready to break into a house, but there was another thief there who'd beaten me to it. He recognised me straight away, laughed at me for being so young. So, naturally, I, um, challenged him." Dan grimaced.

"You're still pretty cocky," Phil teased, ignoring it when Dan thumped his chest lightly to shut him up. The whole idea of Dan being cocky and stupid enough to challenge someone older than him made him smile, and the only reason he didn’t succumb to the small prickle of fear at the idea of a young Dan fighting someone older than him was the knowledge that Dan had survived, and was here now, safe in his arms. Phil snuffled a bit, and curled himself tighter around Dan.

Dan huffed. "Rude, though I can’t say you’re wrong. Never mind this thief was about twenty years older than me. Anyway. I had a knife I kept flailing at him, but he dodged easily, jumped on me and cut my shoulder." Dan shrugged, lips twitching. "I was furious, but then he cut my knee too - look," Dan paused momentarily to show Phil the matching scar on his knee, "So I couldn't move. I passed out, I think, and next thing I knew he was building me a campfire and offering to teach me how to fight." Dan shook his head, smiling again. "I stayed with him a few months, until he kicked me out to go my own way again. I'd learned a lot, though. I owe him most of my skills in fighting."

At that, Dan glanced back up again and grinned straight at Phil. "And you know how skilled I am at that, hm? I reckon I could still take you in a fight."

Grumbling a bit when Dan started to shift around in order to show Phil his knee, Phil went with it, desperate to take in all of Dan’s body and all of his stories. He wanted to know all of Dan, so he looked at the small cut on Dan’s knee for the length of time Dan was willing to show it to him, and then grumbled a bit more when Dan started to shift around some more, really getting into his story.

Finally, though, Dan stopped moving, and Phil laughed as his thief returned to teasing him.

"I'll be honest,” Phil said in reply, “I'm more than happy he taught you how to fight… but I still think I could take you, my thief," he teased, tugging a little on a stray curl that lay against the side of Dan’s head, before placing it back in the nest of Dan's hair.

Dan huffed at Phil’s response, though he more than happily moved back into Phil's hold, tilting his head and giving a little sigh as Phil continued to run his fingers through Dan's hair. Dan was also pleased that Phil was still calling him his thief. He liked the way that tied them together, but without making Dan feel like he had to change. Dan was starting to entertain the very dangerous possibility that he might somehow be able to remain a thief and keep Phil.

The thought was too precious, and Dan had to let it go.

"Excuse you, I could totally take you in a fight." Dan sounded vaguely affronted. He rolled a little, pressing himself carefully on top of Phil and grinning down at him.

Phil made a small "ooph" noise as Dan rolled on top of him, but he liked the way it looked and felt, head tilted back as Dan hovered over him. It was especially good now, though, after all they'd done, and he grinned, reaching up to press his hand to Dan's dimple again. He knew it annoyed Dan, but Phil couldn't bring himself to care. He just loved Dan's dimple so damn much.

Dan's face screwed up when Phil pressed his dimple again. Phil seemed to have an utter fascination with it, or maybe he just did it because it annoyed Dan. Dan didn't know.

Though he'd be lying if he said he hated it.

Sniffing, Dan added, "I'm not cocky without reason, now. I don't think you ever managed to lock me away in your dungeon, did you?"

Phil shook his head, knowing Dan was right. Phil, as good as he was as Captain of the Royal Guard, had never quite been able to take Dan down.

"But I've also never had the chance to take you in a fair fight, with no advantages on either side. I feel like I might have a chance," Phil explained, tugging Dan down until he could kiss him soundly on the lips, sighing softly and unable to stop smiling into it. He liked that he could do that anytime he liked, now, heart fluttering in his chest as Dan moved to rest against his chest. Legs tangled together, Phil hummed and pressed his fingers back through Dan's hair.

Dan smiled when Phil kissed him, unable to help it. There was something so casually intimate about being able to touch each other whenever they wanted, kiss each other however they liked, and Dan was growing to love it. They could build a life based on this, he thought, if only they could find a way to keep both of them happy.

Still, Dan couldn't let Phil go unchallenged, so he pursed his lips, thinking. "I suppose - if there were no advantages. We're kind of evenly matched. One difference though, my Prince." Dan's eyes gleamed wickedly as he leaned back in, tracing his nose slowly up Phil's jaw until his lips were brushing Phil's ear just enough to tease him. "I fight dirty."

He pressed a kiss there, right under Phil's ear, before moving back around to lie on his chest with a snicker. He could feel Phil shivering beneath him.

It was ridiculous, the things Dan could do to Phil, even now. The way his nose felt tracing just under Phil’s jaw, his lips brushing over his ear, and his voice all soft and heated, made something stir in him again, and Phil could do nothing but let out a soft sigh as he shivered underneath Dan. His lips parted slightly, and his eyes fell closed for just the briefest of moments.

“Fair enough,” Phil agreed lightly when he got his breath back, his heart having picked up speed at the way Dan had spoken to him. Swallowing thickly, Phil tried to clear his mind, and ended up letting out another surprised sigh as Dan shifted on top of him. He licked his lips, remembering that first day he’d met Dan on the rooftops.

“Considering the way you flirted with me the day we met… I can see you playing dirty to your dying breath,” he said.

Dan laughed at the reminder of how he’d flirted with Phil that first day, his eyes glittering as he stared at the mess he’d made of Phil. Reaching up with tender fingers, Dan went ahead and carded his own fingers through Phil’s hair affectionately, before moving to settle himself on Phil’s chest all over again. He may be a tease, but he had no plans to push Phil any further tonight than they’d already gone.

Instead, Dan changed the subject. Besides, he very much still wanted to hear about that unicorn, and his prince’s adventures, so he said, “Anyway, enough about me. You said you knew the forest well?” Dan tilted his head up to meet Phil’s eyes lightly, smiling when Phil traced his fingers through Dan’s hair again. His voice was light hearted now, a bit teasing, but mostly, he just wanted to hear Phil talk.

Dan closed his eyes, and nestled himself close to Phil again, listening to the slow, rhythmic beating of Phil’s heart. “I never ventured there - it was always too risky for me. What’s the forest like?”

Phil didn't really want to talk about himself, was much happier listening to Dan speak, but knew Dan wanted to know just as much about Phil as Phil did Dan, so he rested his head back against the furs underneath him, and thought for a second.

“It’s amazing, Dan,” he started, humming a little. His eyes sought out the night sky above them, in the little hole in Dan’s cavern that Phil couldn’t help feeling Dan was so lucky to have. His fingers played lightly against Dan’s body wrapped up in his arms, and he sighed, smiling. “There are so, so many creatures in the forest that I don’t even have a name for, rare and incredibly beautiful, just like the foliage and plants they inhabit. The further you venture in, the less traversed by humans it’s been, and the paths disappear until you’re left with nothing but natural trails to follow and strange nature to take in. Nothing’s man-made, there.”

Phil couldn’t help wanting to go back there now, thinking of the day he might get to take Dan with him. He’d not seen nearly enough of the forests in his lifetime, not yet, despite the sheer amount of times he’d managed to explore on his own. There was so much in there, so much unstudied and unknown, too terrifying even for most researchers and adventurers to seek out on their own - or at least, those known to Phil’s people. Perhaps their neighboring kingdoms knew more… some day, Phil would travel there as well, to learn… perhaps Dan would come with him.

Phil cleared his throat, continuing.

“I once found a pack of wood mice, down some strange trail I doubt I’ll ever be able to retrace again. They’re just as big as you’d imagine, huge fuzzy creatures with antenna as long as my arm. They sniffed the air when I came near, but didn’t fear me. One turned to me with big, beady eyes, but dismissed me almost immediately. They’d taken down one of the oldest trees I’ve ever seen when I stumbled upon them, and were gnawing at the bark inside, and yet it seemed as if they’d picked the tree on purpose for it’s age, not wanting to destroy the world they lived in… It was amazing, seeing nature at work like that,” Phil explained, thinking back on that wondrous day.

Dan sat up a little, staring at Phil with slightly wide eyes. Wood mice. Dan had only ever read about those mysterious creatures, they played a key part in one of his favourite fairy tales. He’d used to act that out with his brother all the time as a child, in happier times, before he’d fallen sick and Dan had watched him wither away. But wood mice - they were notoriously shy, travelling in their tight-knit groups and rarely seen by human eyes.

For all that Dan had seen and done in his life, there were some things that Phil had done much more.

Jealousy twisted in Dan’s gut for a moment, before he calmed himself. Phil had seen things Dan had only ever dreamed about, or read about in his books, but never thought could be reality. But they were for Phil. For Phil’s world.

Why couldn’t they be real for Dan’s world, too?

Phil smiled to himself, turned his head to face Dan.

“Maybe one day I can take you,” he murmured, and watched as Dan’s lips began to quirk up in a smile. Too afraid to face his response, however, Phil turned his gaze back up to the roof of the cavern, searching out the stars once more.

Dan wriggled. Maybe - maybe it could be real for Dan’s world, too, if Phil wanted to take him there. But that would involve some kind of future where they could stay together, and honestly - honestly, as much as Dan wanted that, it was difficult to imagine.

Phil was still a Prince. Dan was still a thief. They were joined for this quest to save Cornelia, yes, but after that… after that, the royals would have no use for Dan at all. And while he dared to believe that maybe Phil would want to keep him around, it was… hard to imagine. Unless Dan gave up his thieving, but that would mean abandoning all the black markets he’d ever set up, all the ways he tried to help his people.

Could he do that? Would he do that, for Phil?

Phil let his mind wander a bit, thinking of the other strange sights he’d seen in the forest, and then laughed as he remembered one in particular.

“There’s a lake I like to visit sometimes, deep in the middle somewhere. I’ve got the trail memorized, from all the time’s I’ve visited. It’s really peaceful out there, and no one but me seems to know about it, so I’m always able to find security out there. Anyway, I’ve never been in the lake, but I’ve seen something even more amazing than experiencing that water. An Articuno lives there.”

“You’re joking.” Dan shot straight up and raised both brows excitedly at Phil. “An Articuno. Like, actually, actually an Articuno.” They were almost as rare as dragons, talked about in fairy tales with just as much reverence, although they were mostly loved. Dan couldn’t count the number of stories that included a great knight being guided on his way by one.

Well, maybe that was happening now. Phil was a great knight, too, after all.

“I’m not,” Phil explained, his voice going low and conspiratorial. “I swear it. I caught them sunbathing once, and they looked at me with one, huge eye, like they knew who I was, and then flapped their wings and disappeared back into the lake like I’d never been there at all. Legend has it they don’t usually come out when people are around, but sometimes, they toss dead fish up at me, like a peace offering,” he continued, curling his fingers through Dan’s hair.

Sighing once more, Phil closed his eyes, and bit his lip.

“One day… I want to take you there. One day… I want to show you everything.”

He couldn’t help how nervous he felt saying those words a second time, terrified that Dan might reject him.

Dan held in a breath. Slowly, carefully, he lowered himself back down to Phil’s chest and hid his head in his favourite spot in Phil’s shoulder, ducking there to hide his expression for a moment. Phil offering to take him there - making future plans like they were possible - it was doing strange things to Dan’s heart.

Maybe, once they returned, Phil would be able to sneak out of the Palace sometimes. Maybe he’d be able to escape his duties and come and spend time with Dan, at least some of the time. There was also the fact that Dan’s capital city hideout was right on top of Phil’s office, something that Phil was still ignorant of, but maybe Dan could use that to his advantage in the future. The idea of swinging unannounced into Phil’s space… that was a good thought.

If only it was possible.

For now, Dan wanted to enjoy what time he did have. So he lifted his face out of Phil’s shoulder and looked back at him, shaking his head gently. Phil sounded so enamoured whenever he spoke of the forest, and it was evident enough that he loved animals and wildlife. For now, Dan would focus on that.

"Why am I not surprised you went chasing after animals." Dan's lips twitched a little, and he went back to idly tracing patterns on Phil's chest, leaning into the hand in his hair with a low hum. "I sense that's a recurring theme. I'd love to see your forest, Phil. In fact..." Dan trailed off for a moment, tilting his head to to look Phil in the eyes again. "...I think I'd like to see everything you want to show me."

When Dan didn’t reject Phil’s proposal to show his thief the wonders Phil knew, he felt a burst of excitement flare through him. Knowing that Dan wanted to see all that Phil had to show him, just as much as Dan wanted to show Phil so much, made him giddy to the bone, and he laughed as he sat up rather suddenly, dislodging Dan from his chest.

“Yeah?” he asked, rolling over on top of Dan and pushing him back down on the furs below them, arms coming up to cage Dan’s body in. He liked having advantage over Dan, was quickly learning how to play dirty himself, and nudged at Dan’s lips with his own. “You really want to see what I have to show you?” he breathed against Dan’s lips, laughing breathily again when Dan nodded underneath him. “You’ve seen more of the world then me, my thief… and yet, I still want to show you everything I know…” Slowly, Phil trailed his lips down Dan’s sensitive neck, chuckling at the way Dan tilted his head obediently in reaction

Dan gave a disgruntled squawk when Phil dislodged him from his comfortable resting place cuddled up to Phil's chest. He slid onto his back with a huff, though his eyes brightened again when Phil trapped him in place, body folded around Dan's. Phil was growing more and more confident with this, initiating more and more, and it was quickly making them equals. Dan had thought he'd be annoyed by that, but actually, it calmed him. Imbalance did neither of them good. Dan couldn't wait to keep pushing at Phil's boundaries, to see how many things he could teach him, how many firsts he could steal from Phil.

“Though, I do have to admit,” Phil continued, “That I am jealous of all that you have seen. Perhaps it would be better for you to show me the world after all,” he whispered, pulling back to look Dan in the eye, his own twinkling with something more than mirth. He pressed his hand over Dan's heart, lifted himself a bit, tried to take the mood back to something a little more serious rather than sexy. "Would you do that, Dan? If I asked you to? Would you take me away? Show me everything I've been missing out on?"

His eyes bored into Dan's. He wanted so badly to know if that was an option. Would Dan take care of him, look after him, be willing to have Phil so included in every aspect of his life?

"If I wanted to run away with you, even if just for a little while, in small spurts at a time, would you take me anywhere, my thief?"

Phil lifted off him a little, and Dan wound his arms gently around Phil's back, bringing him close. He loved holding Phil, making full use of his slight height advantage to curl his long body entirely around Phil's.

Dan shivered a little at Phil's questions, though. He could see the sincerity in Phil's eyes, hear the honesty in his tone. Phil meant what he was saying. He wanted Dan to show him the world. And if that didn’t tie in with Dan’s earlier thoughts - that maybe, possibly, there could be some kind of future for them. Somehow.

Dan's heart raced a little with excitement.

He reached up to card a hand through Phil's hair, eyes trained on his face. "Do you even have to ask? I'd give you anything you want, my Prince, anything at all to make you happy." He nudged affectionately at Phil, close to kissing him again, but not quite meeting his lips. "If you truly wanted to get away, to come with me - I could show you so many things. You'd love the menagerie in the Arkha mansion to the East, and you haven't lived until you've seen the sunrise over the coast to the North. So much I could show you, my Prince, if you step into my world for a while."

Dan meant the words, spoke them with true honesty, but there was a heaviness to his heart as well. Because however much he might want to, Dan knew he couldn't keep Phil. Phil had his duties, and he took them seriously, and Dan wished he could whisk them away from it all. He meant what he'd said when he declared he wanted to give Phil his freedom.

It was just - that freedom would mean taking him away from his family. From his job, a job that Phil clearly loved, and from a people who loved him back just as fiercely. Dan couldn’t take away their Prince. He couldn’t take Phil away from everything that made him happy.

But, if he was allowed short bursts of time… then maybe, maybe Dan could have that.

Slowly, the grin took over Phil's features all over again, Dan's eyes brilliant and sincere as he stared up at Phil. There was so much happiness bubbling up inside of him that Phil thought this might actually work, and then he was leaning back down and cupping Dan's cheeks to kiss him, open mouthed and giddy. He was grinning far too wide to make much progress here, but Dan wasn't complaining, laughing at Phil despite it all until Phil was pulling away with a happy sigh and settling his weight on top of Dan, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

Dan laughed into the kiss, laughed as Phil pressed close to him, but the sound was one of pure joy. Usually he laughed at someone's expense, the sound snide and jeering, but with Phil, he felt true happiness radiate inside him. It was like Phil reached between all of Dan's nasty little corners and instead found the true, warm, soft person he could be.

It made Phil smile, made him so happy, to hear Dan laughing with him, the sound soft against his lips, soft in his ears. He wanted to bathe in it, find another million ways to make Dan make that sound, and he curled into him, let himself be held, buzzing with more happiness than he could explain. He'd never been this happy, and it was strange because he shouldn't be just then. So much had happened to his family, so many things had changed, and his kingdom was in peril, and yet, Phil just wanted to have this moment with his thief.

"Dan," he whispered, and closed his eyes, searching with one hand for Dan's so he could slot their fingers together again. He wasn't sure if he was pushing too far yet, but there was so much Phil wanted to say. He bit his lip, afraid to scare Dan away, and nuzzled closer still, reaching up with his other hand to close his fist around the pendant around his neck. "Dan," he said again, and sighed.

Dan held Phil tight as Phil nuzzled against him, holding in another burst of laughter. He was buzzing with happiness, listening to the way Phil sighed his name. Hardly anyone knew Dan's name, and no one spoke it aloud without risking Dan cutting them. He’d kind of… ditched it, after his family passed and he became known as the King of Thieves. It was perfect and strange to hear Phil saying it, even now.

"If you promise to take me, if we survive this month... then I promise to go with you," Phil insisted, voice quiet.

Those were the most perfect words ever. A sealed promise that Phil would come with Dan, would let Dan show him the world. That this wasn’t going to be the last of their travels together.

But Dan's eyes narrowed a little at Phil's comment.

"What do you mean, if we survive? I have absolutely no intention of letting you escape my clutches so soon." He ran a hand down Phil's back, digging his nails in just a little, just enough to make his point. "I don't let my belongings get damaged, Phil, and you most definitely belong to me."

Phil's back arched into Dan's touch, a thrill going through him at the use of nails and the way Dan said his name, claiming Phil all over again. He might have once found that horrible, or rude, but knowing that that was how Dan showed his affection when things were getting too close to matters of the heart, when he hadn't yet pushed himself into being open and vulnerable again, Phil didn't mind it. He collapsed back against Dan, his own hand moving up Dan's side's, caressing the skin.

"Protect me," Phil whispered, nosing Dan's neck. "As I protect you.” His lips brushed against Dan’s skin, and he pressed a quick kiss there, gentle as ever. His eyes fluttered closed as he held tight to Dan. He wanted nothing more than to believe that they would both come home safe from this adventure they were about to go on, but there was still something niggling at the back of his mind, a thought he’d had just that morning.

“Can I ask you a question?" Phil asked, waiting for Dan’s hum or approval before continuing on. "You promised my family to bring me back alive. That doesn't mean at the expense of your life, does it?" he asked, voice hushed as his palm spread over Dan's skin, took in the softness of him, the way it felt to be able to touch another human being. He nosed up against Dan's jaw once again, and then adjusted his head, looking up at Dan with something like fear in his eyes. "I know you, or I think I know you, but I don't want you to ever put me before yourself if it means you getting yourself killed."

Dan couldn't help but stiffen a little when Phil asked if he could ask Dan a question. Dan's first instinct was to fear the worst - that this soft moment between him and his Prince couldn't last, that Phil was finally going to ask Dan something that he couldn't answer, or at least not in a way Phil would like. Dan's mind raced with possibilities, thinking how many terrible things Phil could ask him - not least the truth of Phil's Uncle's death, which Dan really did not want to divulge.

He relaxed, then, and even gave a small laugh, when Phil's actual question was of a much kinder nature. He simply asked whether Dan intended to protect Phil's life over his own, if it came down to it. The question was still serious, as Dan could tell by the worried look in Phil's eyes when he looked up at Dan, reiterating that he didn't want Dan to get killed, but there was such a protective nature to it, betraying just how much Phil didn't want to lose Dan. Dan felt his heart expanding in his chest until he feared it would burst.

Dan chuckled again, low in his throat, and tightened his grip around Phil until he was hugging Phil tight against his chest. "You fool," he murmured fondly, and brought a hand up to tangle in Phil's hair. "I don't want to die for you. I'm not saying I wouldn't, if the situation came to it - don't argue with me, the life of a Prince will always be worth more than the life of a thief - but I would much rather we both survive." Dan tipped his head back a little as Phil nosed at his jaw, and he gave a happy little sigh. "Such a fool, my Prince. I'm not going to let either of us die, and certainly not by a dragon, of all things."

It felt good to have Dan tightening his arms around Phil, chuckling as if Phil's question was ludicrous. It helped Phil to relax, the fear that had been plaguing him since before they'd left the Castle finally being settled a bit.

Until Dan kept talking, of course.

It didn't matter that Phil was the most comfortable he'd ever been, didn't matter that Dan had a hand threaded through his hair, didn't matter that Phil didn't want to pop their bubble of bliss. Hearing Dan say that the life of a Prince meant more than a life of a thief, whether or not he bookended that with the reassurance that Dan had no plans on either of them dying, not only broke his heart but pissed him off, and Phil sat up against Dan, pinning Dan’s lower half with his own weight by sitting on top of him.

The glare he sent at Dan was the worst Phil could muster, and he reached down to punch Dan in the shoulder the same way Dan had done to him when Phil had nearly walked into quicksand back there, in Dan’s desert. He was absolutely seething as he stared at his - his - person, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“No. Fuck you, Dan. Don’t you dare say those words to me,” he hissed, teeth gritted as Dan stared up at him in surprised awe. “Your life is just as important as mine. If it comes right down to it, you let me die,” he continued, his voice a low growl. Uncaringly, Phil pulled his arm back and punched Dan in the arm, because the idea of Dan dying for Phil, leaving Phil, not least of all because he didn’t think his life was important enough, killed him.

“I’d be more willing to accept that you couldn’t live without me than that you didn’t think your life meant enough in this world. You are just as good, just as important as me, Daniel Howell, and I will personally kill you myself if you ever let yourself leave me for something as - as - ridiculous, as that.”

Phil's chest was heaving, and he thought he could feel the tears prickling again, but he didn't shift away from Dan, just continued to glare at him as he grit his teeth. He realized his words might not make so much sense, but he thought he might have gotten his intent across clearly enough for Dan to get it. Phil wouldn't accept Dan thinking himself less than Phil.

Dan's eyes widened when Phil sat up, pinning him in place, and punched his shoulder hard. He blinked, shocked. Phil was speaking so passionately, as if he truly meant what he said, and his tone brooked no argument. He was adamant that Dan was worth as much as him, that they were equal. That was so rare for their world, and also just not true - if Dan returned without Phil, he had no doubts at all that the royals would not look kindly on him. Losing a Prince, one of the royals, was so, so much worse than losing a thief.

Never mind that Dan literally couldn’t imagine leaving Phil in danger and not doing something about it. He’d promised Phil’s mother that he’d bring Phil back safe. Dan was not one to break his promises.

But still, the fact that Phil was willing to literally punch him to show how much he didn’t want to lose Dan… Phil must truly care about him, then, if he was so passionate about Dan's survival.

Dan knew he couldn't let that stand, though. The thought of living in a world where he'd let Phil die was completely unthinkable, and he had no desire to allow that to happen.

So Dan narrowed his eyes right was back at Phil.

"That's a nice ideal world you're living in, Phil. Do you think your parents would forgive me if I brought you back dead?" Dan's words choked a little, his voice cracking at even the thought. His eyes hardened. "As if I would let that happen. We are equal, Phil, yes, but I will not lose anyone else in my life. You hear me? I'm not letting you in this much just to go and lose you."

Dan's tone was final, and he turned to stare determinedly up at the ceiling, past Phil's shoulder. He didn't want to fight with his Prince, but he could sense a disagreement coming, and it made his heart sink. He didn't want to burst their little bubble, not yet, no matter how much the world was against them.

Phil was choking up, blinking hard to try and keep himself from crying, able to feel the lump forming in his throat. He'd never, not once in his entire life, cared for someone the way he cared for Dan. He'd never thought he could have this, and the idea that he might lose everything was tearing him up inside. But Dan was right. As he spoke, words nearly as venomous and passionate as Phil's, Phil realized where he was coming from, what they were up against, and he let a little sob break through at the reminder that, at least in their society, Phil was above Dan. In the end, if Dan were to allow Phil to die… Dan’s life would be forfeit, whether Phil thought that fair or not.

More than that, though, the last thing Phil ever wanted to do was force Dan to lose another person he cared for, no matter how much he didn’t want to lose Dan. It was just… Phil needed to make it clear that he would rather be dead than live without his thief. The biggest problem was - it seemed the same was true for Dan, and that made it all the harder still, because Phil had this terrible feeling in his gut that if it came right down to it, the person throwing themselves into the line of fire first… would be Dan.

Phil couldn't let that happen.

With eyes burning with tears, Phil shook his head vehemently at Dan, and leaned in close to him. He was not going to let this go without a fight. Not so carefully, Phil moved his hands to grip Dan’s wrists in his, and slammed them to the ground, bracing his body over Dan’s and trapping him beneath him. His thief did not even struggle, something that lit a fire inside of Phil, and then he was leaning down and dragging his thief into a fierce, demanding kiss.

His lips were hot on Dan’s, teeth digging into his skin, nipping and sucking and taking as his tongue pushed past Dan’s mouth to devour him whole. His tears were dripping onto Dan’s face, but he didn’t care as he kissed him hard, sobbing into his thief’s mouth and taking all that he could. Dan gave him everything - Phil could feel it in the way he yielded to him, fingers shifting into fists under Phil’s hold, body pressing up into Phil’s to reassure him that he was here, and alive, and Phil’s.

The way Dan touched him, even without the use of his hands, reassured Phil that this man belonged to him, and slowly, the kiss turned from demanding anger, to soft, desperate love, Phil whining soft cries into Dan’s mouth, panting against his lips, and just trying to… take.

The King of Thieves belonged to Phil Lester, and there was no way in hell he was ever going to give that up.

By the time Phil pulled away from Dan, his grip was bruising, desperate to shackle Dan to him.

“Then we’re not going to die,” Phil insisted, voice broken but hard. “Neither of us, because I am not losing you when I only just found you.”

Dan gasped a little from the ferocity of Phil's kiss, from the sheer, deep, true emotion behind it. He could feel Phil trembling against him, sense a hold hard enough to hurt against his wrists as Phil held him pinned to the ground. Dan had absolutely no desire to move, but he wasn't sure he could break Phil's hold even if he wanted to.

This was strange, for Dan - to feel so loved by someone else, held so dear to someone that the thought of losing him made them react like this. Dan couldn't really remember a time he'd felt love quite like this - and it physically hurt. It hurt, because he wanted to take Phil away from every danger, to stay with Phil in a quiet little corner of the world away from any horrors, and yet, that seemed impossible. Especially now, when they had a Princess to save.

Dan wriggled his fingers a little, shifting in Phil's hold until he got Phil to release one of his wrists, and then his hand went straight to Phil's cheek, holding him in place as Dan looked at him firmly. "As I said - I have absolutely no intention of letting either of us die. You said you'd trust me, my Prince - trust me to keep us safe. Us, together, equally. I'm not going to let you die, but I don't have any plans to die for you, either."

Dan's tone was stern, but his hand was soft against Phil's cheek. Dan caressed the skin there gently, until he had Phil leaning into his touch. Dan kept his eyes trained on Phil's face at all times, hating the hurt he saw there, the fear hidden away in those intense eyes. "Think of it this way, my Prince - I have survived many situations before, and I always live to tell the tale. Now I have you to protect, I just have extra incentive to live. I promise you - do as I say, and we will survive." Dan's lips twitched a little. "You'll have to get better at obeying me, though."

It was hard, to let Dan go, release his wrist and wait out his reaction, purely because Phil didn't want to let go. He just wanted this entire situation to be over and done with, for both of them to be safe and to act as if nothing was wrong. If only there were another way to get that dragon scale, to save his family, without putting either of them at risk. Not for the first time, Phil once again wished he wasn't a prince, that he didn't have duties to a kingdom he half hated half the time, the he and Dan had been handed a different lot in life.

He nuzzled into Dan's hold on his cheek, too scared to close his eyes, and let the tears drip down some more, because what else could he do? Dan wanted him to trust him. Phil did, he really did, but he just wanted things to be perfect and okay. Anything could happen with a Dragon. They were ancient beasts, and they hoarded treasure. They were unlikely to be happy about two grown, armed men walking into their lair, whether they intended to steal their treasure or not. Perhaps their scales meant just as much to them at their treasure.

Fingers tightening on Dan's other wrist, Phil nodded, letting out a watery laugh at Dan telling him to obey him better.

"I'll do anything for you," he insisted, shaking his head and finally closing his eyes. "I'd do anything to stay with you. Don't let me go, no matter what,” Phil begged. “I swear to you, we'll get through every hurdle thrown our way. I don't want to lose you."

Phil's words washed over Dan, and for the first time, he let himself truly believe them. He imagined, for a moment, that what Phil was saying was true - that he'd truly do anything for Dan, go anywhere with him, work to keep him safe and happy. And much to Dan's shock, he felt an odd burning in his throat.

Someone legitimately cared about him, someone he wasn't related to or stealing for or giving handouts to. Someone actually wanted Dan for Dan.

The thought was almost too precious to bear.

Dan swallowed thickly, blinking. The hand on Phil's cheek traced down slowly, wiping away his tears before moving along his jaw and down his neck, until Dan could touch the locket hanging about Phil's neck - Dan's locket. It looked right, there - a reminder that Dan was tied to someone else, tethered to this place by his connection with another person.

The best kind of connection possible.

Dan shivered a little, and despite the serious nature of their conversation, he could feel a smile beginning to spread slowly across his face. He splayed his fingers against Phil's shoulder, and let out a small bubble of laughter.

"I'm just happy," he explained softly, eyes meeting Phil's gaze again. There was always so much emotion in Phil's eyes, like they were saying so much more than Phil could put into words. Dan's smile widened still further. "You actually care about me, don't you? You care what happens to me."

Dan's voice was a little awed, no trace of his usual arrogance. He itched to pull Phil against him again, to nuzzle close, but he wanted to dispel Phil's fears a little more.

"You give me something to live for," Dan murmured, almost too softly to hear, pressing his thumb gently into a mark he'd left on Phil's collarbone earlier. "I didn't think I had anything but hatred and fight left in me, but you - you give me something to live for, Phil Lester."

Phil's heart was in his throat. It seemed like it always was with Dan. Their relationship was just still so new, so fragile with the possibility to break. There was trust between them, but it wasn't as established as it could be. Phil understood that real trust couldn't form without time, and time was something he knew he could give his thief. Whether he was never believed, Phil would always keep his word to Dan, get him out of any and all situations he managed to get himself locked into, and never give up on the bond they'd formed between them. He would never betray Dan's heart.

Phil shivered as Dan's hand moved down his body once again, over his neck and down his chest until he was settling fingers over the very object Phil now treasured above all else. Phil watched the way Dan's lips trembled, watched the way his eyes went soft and clear, the way he seemed to open himself up in a way he still hadn't fully done, until he was looking up at Phil with eyes wide open, a window to his soul.

Lips twitching himself, Phil snorted out a small laugh, sniffling against his tears.

"I care about you so much. I think I always have, really," Phil whispered in return, nodding his head emphatically, sniffling again. "And I will fight for us," he insisted, nodding assertively.

His heart fluttered, body aching where Dan was pressing his finger, reminding Phil of what they'd done, how they'd sealed themselves together in a different, special way that Phil didn't want to break. Leaning forward, Phil kissed him again, eyes closed as he sighed against Dan's mouth. He moved the hand still pinning Dan's wrist down again, and pushed his fingers through Dan's.

Dan sighed against Phil's lips as he was kissed again and again. He could lose himself to this feeling - of being cared for, of being loved. A part of Dan still recoiled at the word, not wanting to admit to such a strong emotion again after so many empty, lonely years, but being here with Phil made everything seem so easy. It would be easy, to let those words slip out for this Prince with the heart of gold and the desire to do what was right, what was good, to make everyone around him happy.

They kissed for a while longer, a sensation that Phil would never get tired of, and he let his eyes drift closed as he let himself slip into Dan, falling in love with him over and over again. He wanted so much, wanted to stay here forever, but he knew this happy little bubble would have to break eventually, and they'd have to move back to the real world. That was never going to change Phil's plans or his words, though. He'd always want all of this.

"You are my reason to live, Daniel Howell," Phil whispered in return, right against his lips.

Dan gave a little start at hearing his full name spoken aloud again. It brought back memories of his family, memories that were all too prevalent lately as he lay curled up in Phil's arms. Dan linked his fingers with Phil's happily, and then rolled them now he was free, so they were lying side by side on his furs and he could get his head resting against Phil's chest again. He loved to hear the steady beat of Phil's heart, reminding him that this was real.

Phil let Dan move them so they were laying side by side again, sighing as Dan settled his head over Phil's chest again, and relaxed, turning his gaze back to the view from Dan's cave to the starry sky above him once again. He couldn't help it as he wished on those stars that things would be okay, and that they could both return here one day, well and alive.

"I could love you, Phil," Dan mumbled against Phil's neck as he curled his long limbs sleepily around Phil's. His restless night in Phil's bed in the Castle, accompanied with the comfort of being back in his own space, was making Dan's eyelids heavy, despite the fact they’d literally stayed in bed for hours. He nestled as close to Phil as he could possibly get, throwing an arm around Phil's waist and holding him close. "I'll fight for us, too. For our freedom. You deserve so much freedom, you know? Your smile is so much wider when you're away from your duties."

Phil glanced down at Dan, unable to help the smile, as he admitted to being able to love Phil, but didn't push it. He didn't think he was ready to say I love you yet either, despite being certain of his own feelings, and let out a small sigh of contentment instead, wrapping his arm around Dan's shoulders to drag him ever closer. They needed to sleep, and the way Dan was cuddling up to Phil told him he was ready to drift away.

Phil had a feeling he wouldn't be sleeping so soon, but that was okay.

He grinned again at Dan's soft words, and then leaned down over him to kiss the top of his head. "Then perhaps we should fight for both our freedom," Phil whispered to him, kissing his head again. "Sleep, my thief. We have a long month ahead of us," he said.

There were so many thoughts and questions and problems at the back of Phil's head that he knew they needed to deal with, but not now. Not now, not after they'd made love, not when things were still so bright and happy and good. Phil had Dan in his arms, never wanted to let him go, and everything else could wait.

Thoughts of Phil's uncle still plagued him, his heart still ached, but he didn't want to push Dan yet. He wanted to give them both some more time, wanted to let them develop more, and then they could touch the hard issues. For now, as Phil stared up at the night sky, the view more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen before, he just wished and prayed that things would turn out alright.

It didn't take long for Dan to drift into sleep after that, Phil's whispered words accompanying him into his dreams. He was comfortable back on his furs, although he had to admit that Phil's bed had been softer, and the royal silken sheets were more comfortable to wrap up in, as well.

Dan could hardly complain about his sleeping conditions when he had a Phil to cuddle up to, though. Phil was warm and strong and his heartbeat was slow and steady in his chest, reminding Dan that he miraculously wasn't alone. He had someone to stay with him, and he was safe in his cavern, which meant that for once, Dan was allowing himself to completely succumb to sleep, rather than nap with one eye open in case of intruders.

It took a good, long while for Phil to sleep, busy as he was dealing with his own messed up and confused emotions. There was so much happiness in his heart, bubbling forth and wanting to leap right out, but there was pain too, and so much worry. Phil was scared. He was scared for his relationship with Dan, he was scared for the future of his kingdom, he was scared about his own future, and he was scared for his family and the Palace and the Dragon he was about to face. Dan could reassure him all he wanted, Phil could trust him to the end of the Earth and back, but he was still scared.

He didn't know if they would succeed, or what casualties would come if they did, and that was the hardest bit for Phil because he was determined to do all that he could to keep Dan alive with him for as long as he could. He didn't want to lose his thief. He truly, truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

The sky soothed him, though, as did Dan's steady breaths and the comfort of being wrapped up in someone else's arms, and soon, he found himself drifting to sleep.

Dan slept soundly, relaxed, curled up in Phil's warmth, right through until dawn sent streaks of light angling through his cavern. Dan stirred reluctantly, not wanting to blink open his eyes. Somehow, during the night, he'd lost all of his furs again, and he was lying mostly bare under the crisp chill of the desert morning air. There was a warmth around his waist, though, and a steady sound of breathing in his ear that told Dan he was still in Phil's arms.

Dan smiled, blinking open his eyes to look at Phil, and oh - that was where his blankets went. Dan rolled his eyes a little fondly. He didn't want to disturb Phil just yet, not even to steal back his furs, so Dan settled himself down onto his stomach, content to watch his Prince's face and maybe drift in and out of sleep for a little longer.

Their little bubble was soon to break, as they had a journey to start and an urgency to their mission. But Dan didn't quite want to give up their newfound intimacy yet.

When next Phil woke, he did so with a giant yawn, the early rays of the sun streaking through Dan's cavern warming up his skin already. He felt kind of sticky and sweaty, and realized with an embarrassed start that he had indeed stolen Dan's furs in the middle of the night. Dan was still in his arms though, neck twisted as he slept on his stomach, breathing even but not like last night. It took a few blinks for Phil to realize that Dan was in fact awake, and he grinned, slow and happy, humming as he unrolled himself from his fur cocoon in order to reach out and touch Dan's cheek.

That warm something that had long since settled in him was back, and fiercer than ever. He could still remember the way Dan had looked at him last night, touched him, and it only fueled everything even more between them. Letting his eyes slip closed, Phil bathed in those memories. He'd given up so many firsts to Dan, firsts that he would never forget or regret.

The touch to his cheek roused Dan again, if reluctantly. He was enjoying simply lying on Phil's chest and savouring the moment, listening to his quiet breathing and feeling safe wrapped up in his arms.

Dan shifted away from the touch, his face screwing up. He grumbled something inaudible and shoved his face determinedly into Phil's shoulder, refusing to wake up unless he absolutely had to. There were precious few mornings that Dan could truly indulge himself, and lying in was one of his favourite things to do. Phil was going to have to learn to deal with that.

"Thought I was supposed to be the thief around here," Dan mumbled slightly louder, shifting around just enough until he could recover the furs that Phil had somehow appropriated while they slept. Phil had unrolled himself now, though, so Dan snatched them back and settled under them, pressing his face back against Phil in a show that no, he definitely did not want to get up any time soon.

There was something particularly intimate and sweet about a sleepy Dan who was also incredibly comfortable with Phil now, and Phil couldn't help laughing as Dan shifted about, stealing back his furs, and slumping back into Phil's slide in an impressive show of not being willing to get up. The entire moment was a stark contrast from yesterday morning, and really made it clear to Phil that Dan had actually slept really well here, compared to in Phil’s rooms’.

Pressing his hand into Dan's curls, Phil slipped his fingers through the soft hair and sighed. They needed to get up and start their journey soon, but a little while longer of resting couldn't possibly hurt, right? And besides, Phil hadn't slept that well either.

On the other hand, he also really wanted to get up and explore Dan's cavern, only he wasn't entirely sure Dan would be okay with him doing that on his own, nor was he sure Dan was going to give up his Phil shaped pillow considering the way he kept shifting his head into Phil's touch like he couldn't get enough.

Sighing, Phil allowed himself to relax a bit more instead, deciding he could get up later. For now, he was just going to let himself enjoy the way Dan nuzzled him and showed him a different kind of trust by being so vulnerable to Phil that morning.

Phil didn't drift, however. Instead, he let his eyes cast about the cavern, taking in all the piles upon piles of objects and lines of exotic plants everywhere. There seemed to be some kind of order to the chaos of the room that Phil wanted to go and figure out. He itched to get up, to discover more about his thief, but Dan was so warm and cuddly right then.

Eventually, Phil couldn't take it anymore. Sure, cuddling with Dan had become his favorite thing, but Phil wanted to see, and so he found a way to finagle himself out of Dan's grasp, stood up with an excited grin, and began to explore. He hadn't had the chance last night.

Dan let out a small muffled groan of complaint when Phil disentangled himself, but he was too sleepy to bother with getting up yet. He missed the warmth of his Prince by his side, so instead Dan rolled himself up in the furs until he was cuddled up in a ball, and stuffed his face determinedly in the rough rug they'd been using as a pillow. It still smelled like Phil - that would do, seeing as Phil had seen fit to abandon him.

Dan could hear Phil moving around the room, apparently stopping to take things in, so Dan opened one eye to make sure Phil didn't accidentally fall on something, or trip and hurt himself. He also wanted to check just what exactly Phil might find - Dan kept his most precious things here in his cavern, and although the significance of most of them would be lost on Phil, Dan was still a little worried about being entirely open with someone new.

And yet, as Dan watched Phil moving around his things, he was struck by the notion that this was completely right. Having Phil among Dan's belongings felt natural, and good, and Dan liked to see him there as if he belonged in this cavern as much as Dan did. Perhaps he could pretend, for a while, that Phil belonged in his world. Dan so wished he could be here permanently.

Dan's home contained a lot of priceless objects and scrolls, but very little of the room was actually made up of gold or jewels or other common objects that the thief stored in his cloak. Instead, there were scrolls and crowns and things Phil couldn't even begin to understand. Of course, there was still the occasional jewel, and as Phil moved about he even found Dan's stash of money, but the more he looked around, the more he began to realize just how much of what he stole Dan actually gave away.

It made Phil’s lips twitch up happily as he looked around Dan’s cavern. The room seemed to hold nothing more than Dan’s favorite things, including the beautiful rugs and draperies hanging on the walls, soft to the touch and full of so much beauty and culture that Phil quickly realized Dan just loved art. Dan seemed to love a lot of things Phil hadn’t realized he might be interested in, and he squatted down next to a bunch of children’s toys, all worn out and old.

Something told Phil that Dan hadn’t stolen these items. Perhaps he’d found them. They were too well loved to be anything Dan would steal away. Phil knew better of his thief; he only took from those who had too much, and no rich child would ever allow their toys to become this worn.

Fingers shifting over item after item, Phil eventually lifted up something very familiar to himself, and he gasped a little as he picked up a little stuffed lion, badly made and rough around the edges, but nonetheless his.

Slow smile taking over his face, Phil brought the tiny item up close to his face, and took in the tiny patch under it’s left foot with a small "M" underneath it.

Martyn had made and given this lion to Phil when he was seven years old and having nightmares every night. It had been a toy meant to protect Phil, and he'd lost it when he was eleven and had gone out into the market alone for the first time, wrapped up in a cloak, and tried to pretend he wasn't the prince.

Dan had found it, and somehow it felt like fate that Phil would find it again here.

Dan watched with mild surprise as Phil paused by the selection of toys he had in the corner of his cave, tucked away like the memories that accompanied them. Dan had kept those from when he and his brother were small - before his brother had died. Mostly they were objects Dan had stolen from market stalls to try and make his brother feel better; even then Dan had taken things from the rich stall owners, even if his parents disapproved. Dan had just wanted to give them a better life the only way he knew how.

Dan sat up a little, ready to stop Phil if he had to - he didn't want to reveal too much about his past - but Phil seemed to be fascinated by a small lion. Dan couldn't recall too much about it - one of the collection of toys he and his brother had played with, before everything got too terrible. Dan hadn’t stolen that one, though, he remembered being gifted it by the older boys he used to run with as a child. Dan had kept it, though, as a constant reminder. He didn't want to forget his past, no matter how much he didn't want to talk about it.

Dan was curious why the lion had caught Phil's attention so much, out of all the many mysterious trinkets Dan had in his cavern. So he sat up a little more, still wrapped in furs, and disturbed the silent peace of the morning. "You know, I thought a Prince might have finer taste than that ratty old thing."

Phil was startled out of his reminiscing by Dan speaking up from across the room, and he whipped his head around to look at him. Dan was sat bundled up in his furs, hair a wreck, and eyes glossy with sleep. It made Phil smile again, and he sat up with the lion still in his hands to return to Dan's side with it.

"Fuck off, I have great taste," Phil complained, though he was teasing. He wasn't too offended by Dan's rude comment; after all, the object clearly meant just as much to Dan as it did to Phil if he kept it here in his cavern, exactly where he kept the rest of his most precious items. Playing with it between his fingers and re-memorizing the feel of the tiny stuffed animal that had seen him through some of the worst few years of his life, Phil let his lips quirk up fondly.

"I think I know where you got this," he whispered, and finally looked back up at Dan. "The market place about… ten or so years ago, right? Twelve," he corrected himself, voice quiet. "I've never been much for the finer things in life. Surrounded by money and able to have anything I could ever ask for, ratty old gifts have always been my most treasured items," he explained, and looked back down at the small, tattered old lion plushie in his hands. He'd loved this thing so much.

"This? This right here feels like fate," he continued. "It's mine, Dan. This toy is mine.”

For a moment, Phil didn’t say anymore. He just kind of stared at the toy in his hands, and played with it between his fingers again, enjoying the silent moment between he and Dan, and reveling in the moment of reveal. Then, finally, he turned back to face Dan with a small grin.

“My brother made this for me when I was seven because I used to have nightmares, and when he gave it to me, he said 'This lion will keep you safe, from now on. He'll be like your spirit animal, and so long as you have his spirit with you, no one will ever be able to hurt you again,’” Phil said, mimicking his brothers voice and laughing a little at how ridiculous he sounded. The memory was a fond one, for him. “At the time, of course, I believed him about spirit animals, and I was convinced that this lion was in me. The nightmares started to go away, and I… well, I got braver. I started to get reckless, to feel annoyed at being cooped up at home, unhappy in my roll as a prince…” Phil trailed off, rolling his eyes at himself.

“How cliche, right? But it’s true. Even then, I was unhappy, approached by girls who wanted me for no other reason than my title. I got my heart broken the same year I lost this toy, the same year -” Phil trailed off, sighing a bit, and running a hand through his messy hair. “The first time I ever ventured out into the marketplace on my own, I was in disguise, and I had my lion on me just in case. I thought he’d give me the strength to survive on mine, that maybe I could run away from my own life for just a little while… but, that very day twelve years ago, I was beaten up in a back alley by some boys. Probably homeless, orphans, like you. They stole all my money, beat me so bad I almost didn’t think I’d survive, and left me to die. If I hadn’t managed to crawl home, I don’t know what would have happened, but a Royal Guard found me curled up at the West Entrance and took me inside. He’s one of the reasons I decided to become a guard, you know, because he took care of me and didn’t rat me out to my parents, offered to teach me how to fight…” Phil trailed off again, remembering, and then shook his head. “Anyway. That was the day I lost my lion. It feels like fate that I would find him again with you.”

Dan listened in astonishment as Phil explained exactly why he'd got so attached to the lion out of all the things in Dan's cavern. The story was an incredible coincidence - and Phil called it fate. Dan had never believed in such a thing, instead sure that you made your own destiny, but this was certainly a coincidence of the highest order.

Slightly in awe, Dan watched the way Phil handled the lion with such gentleness and familiarity. He had no doubt the story was true. Dan leaned into Phil's side a little and grimaced at the idea of a young Phil so brutally injured in the marketplace, his first time out in the market. He must have been young, so sheltered, twelve years ago. Dan felt a sudden ferocious burst of protection for Phil, wishing he'd known at the time, had done something to stop it.

"You should keep it," Dan murmured, his eyes fixed on the lion in Phil's grip. "It's yours, then. I recognise your story. I didn't - I - I wasn't one of the ones there," Dan explained hesitantly, wincing at the idea of hurting Phil, even in the past. "But I - ah - I ran with a bit of a nasty crowd, back then. My father never approved, but my brother was tiny and frail so it was easy for me to slip out, and - there was this group of older boys. Thieves and orphans, mostly, but they gave me stuff if I lied for them, taught me how to steal. They gave me that." Dan nodded to the lion, his voice soft. "I gave it to my brother. We played with it, a lot."

Dan let out a low sigh. His and Phil's pasts, which Dan had always thought were so separate, were in fact not quite so different. At least they intercepted at this one point. It made Phil feel more real - as if he could exist here, with Dan.

If there was anything that could make Phil feel even happier that he'd lost his lion so long ago, it was hearing that Dan had given the toy to his frail little brother, and that the two boys had played with it far more than Phil probably had. Phil had always kept it on his person, tucked away in his pants or shirt pockets, keeping it locked up on himself for every adventure he went on. But knowing that Dan and his little brother had probably given it more love and attention, in a way, made Phil's heart swell, and he shook his head at Dan's offer for Phil to keep it.

"No. It's yours, then. I want you to keep it," Phil said. "It holds so much more for you. I - I'm happy you're the one who ended up with my toy," he explained, and took Dan's hand, turning it over so it was palm side up before dropping the stuffed animal there.

Imagining a young Dan running with a rough and tumble crowd even before he'd lost his parents somehow didn't surprise Phil. Even his brother had been a bit of a horrible menace as a child. It was easy for bigger, older boys to make you think they were cool and draw you in, and the fact that Dan had grown up in the worst parts of the streets made it make sense. Still, there was something else Phil felt like he needed to stay.

"You don't have to tell me you weren't there, Dan. I know you weren't. I think I would have recognized you. But it's important that you understand… I never would have blamed you. If it had been you, if I did recognize your face, if you had beaten me to a pulp...I wouldn't have blamed you.”

Dan tilted his head, narrowing his eyes and studying Phil for any kind of falsehood to his words, because surely he couldn't mean that. He couldn't mean that he'd completely forgive Dan for some of the terrible things he'd done in his past.

And yet, there was nothing but honesty in Phil's face and voice. His eyes held a little sadness, or sympathy, or nostalgia for a time long gone, but he truly meant everything he was saying. And that was just shocking to Dan. How anyone could be so gold hearted, to forgive even the worst of crimes done against them personally - Dan would never have believed it before he met Phil.

“You're quite something, aren't you," Dan murmured with a small shake of his head. He glanced down at the lion in his hand, thumbing over the small 'M' printed underneath it - and now assuming that it stood for Martyn Lester was just incredible. Dan's lips twitched. "My brother would be thrilled. He loved to imagine living in the castle - imagine his face if he knew he'd had an actual Royal toy."

Phil flushed at the compliment, ducking his head and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. He wouldn't say he was anything, really. He was just Phil, and he hadn't always been a good person. In fact, he was of the opinion he hadn't changed for the better until he'd faced off against a great thief who'd reminded him that it was the royals’ fault that bad things happened to good people in the kingdom.

Phil nudged Dan's shoulder as he spoke of his brother, lips twitching and face showing that twinge of guilt and pain that gave away just how much he hurt speaking of them. Yet there was a bit of happiness there too as Phil wrapped an arm around Dan's shoulder. He couldn't imagine what it was like to lose his family at so young an age. He could understand how not speaking of them could be the best way to cope. Phil liked that Dan could open up to him, though.

“I shouldn't have been out that day,” Phil added. “I shouldn't have been carrying so much gold. I shouldn't have been flaunting myself the way I was. Maybe it's hard to believe, but I was so cocky. I'd snuck out of the castle for the first time on my own, I was traversing the streets feeling on top of the world and like no one could touch me, and I'd called those boys out for robbing another kid, acting as though I knew more than I did. It was my fault I got beaten up, and honestly, I think I needed to be knocked down a peg," he explained, grinning.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday.

"It even felt just that I'd lost my lion. I was prideful, even more so then. I thought I was better than everyone. I deserved what I got."

Dan frowned at Phil at that. "But, Phil - I don't ever want to think of you hurt. You didn't deserve it. Cocky or not." He smirked a little. "And believe me, I know just how arrogant you can be. No child deserves that kind of pain, though, and you were just a child. I did far worse, and never had such treatment."

Shaking his head, Phil couldn't agree with Dan. Perhaps he hadn't deserved it, but he'd brought the pain on himself, and it had only served to better him as a person, to help him grow up and make same changes to his character. If it weren't for those alleyway boys, Phil might never have met Dan at all, might be as cruel as those he claimed to fight against the same way some of his royal guardsmen were.

"I quite disagree, my thief. How many stab wounds do you have? I think it may be fair to say you've had just as bad a treatment growing up, and deserved it as little as I did," Phil murmured softly, thinking on the stories Dan had told and the wound under his shoulder blade he'd refused to talk about but which made him uncomfortable when Phil touched it.

Dan pursed his lip, conceding that Phil had a point when he compared Dan's stab wounds to his own upbringing. Dan would never say he hadn't had a hard life, because he absolutely had. He just meant that seeing Phil in pain was never ok, and Dan was going to make damn sure it never happened again. Dan couldn't help but smile a little. "Perhaps, Phil. Though I have to say - the idea of you sneaking out of the Castle is really quite adorable. Tiny Phil wanted to see the world, did he?"

Chuckling, Phil nodded his head, pulling Dan closer and resting his chin on top of his head. "Phil has always wanted to see the world. Phil had always wanted to be free," he murmured, and pressed a kiss to the top of Dan's head. "I think perhaps I was just waiting for you, though," he said and chuckled as Dan shoved him a bit, both men feeling quite playful. Phil meant it, though. Having Dan in his life felt like everything Phil had been waiting for.

"Soppy bastard," Dan huffed, though he was grinning. "You'll never turn me soft." His hands were gentle, though, as he reached up to cup Phil's face in his hands and turn him to face Dan, attention right where it should be.

Phil scoffed, rolling his eyes, but he was grinning so wide, because he most definitely had turned Dan soft. He just wasn't going to point that out yet if Dan wasn't willing to admit it. They both knew the truth as it was, and so Phil just grinned to himself, feeling his insides curl with affection.

"I would give you your freedom, Phil," Dan assured him. "If I could - I'd take you everywhere. All the parts of the world you've never seen, or even the parts you have would look different without a Royal escort. You should see them. You should have the chance, I mean, if you want it."

And, simply because he hadn't spent nearly enough time close to Phil yet today, Dan leaned forward to press a small kiss to the corner of Phil's lips.

Allowing Dan to turn him so they were face to face, Phil's grin softened until it just a small, sincere smile, sweet and softened by love. He took in Dan's alluring features, those eyes he'd grown so fond of, and leaned into him, knowing already he wanted all of that. He was going to make Dan take him everywhere. He was going to steal back his freedom, no matter how long it took.

The moment his family was safe.

Dan's lips pressed to the corner of Phil's, and he closed his eyes, breathing out softly. He leaned his forehead against Dan's, leaned his cheek into Dan's hand, and reached up to place his hand over Dan's.

"I do want it," Phil admitted. "And I'm going to take it. But first... I have a duty I must perform," he insisted, knowing and hating the fact that he would be the one to pop their bubble.

Dan sighed, though he'd known this moment was coming. As much as Dan might wish to stay here, in his cavern with Phil where no one could find them, and keep up their happy little world, he knew they had to move. Phil's family were in danger, which meant Phil might get hurt, and hadn't Dan just sworn to himself never to let that happen?

So, Dan pulled Phil in for one more lingering kiss before pulling back with a reluctant sigh. "You're right. Sadly. Come along then, my Prince."

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #ineverhadmyinternetphase #snowbunnylester #fanfic #fanfiction #dan and phil #writing #fic #fics #steal my heart (steal my whole life too)#chaptered phan

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darkmoondancer · 6 years ago

Text

A promise & dA/griffia drama

The promise & an explanation

So, you might have no idea what this post is about, or have any context to understand it. If that’s the case, it’s okay. It’s not actually important then. This post is for the huge amount of my past, current, and future clients who have commissioned works from me for the Deviant Art, Art RolePlaying Game, known as Griffia. Structural changes to that game have left some of you being extorted by that game’s owner for more money. In that extortion some of the public relations spin by said owner has put some entirely false but very public blame on me. So firstly. If you have ever bought art from me for this game. Please know, that I deeply did and still do appreciate your business and regardless of any and all drama over there, you can always reach me here to support your purchase. You bought character art from me, if you need more art, I am committed to fulfilling it. I simply can’t do it for free though, but I’ll do my best to help you out. I’m sorry I can’t do more, but despite the “spin” that griffsnuff (owner of the game) has put on this debacle I am not at fault and simply can’t afford to indulge her. I am not abandoning you and please don’t take anything said about me in places I can no longer defend myself as truth. Please just come speak to me. Secondly. Below is the full text of my last letters to griffsnuff and the first in bad faith. It is both exculpatory and personal. It’s not exactly something I’m proud of, but I feel as both an act of self-care and of conscious, it is something I needed to put out in the most wide reaching manner I have. But, there is a character limit on Deviant Art, and I am not exactly a concise writer. So here it is. If you have no idea what any of this post is about, I’m sorry to hurl it upon you. Trust me, you’re better off not reading it. It’s mostly drama.

The Open Letter

I'm not going to beat around the bush about this, but you are very much cornering Qvi, as well as all of the rest of us GAs or ExGAs, and in addition to that you are dismissing Qvi's very valid concerns. (Replying to this comment chain: here)

You are functionally forcing us to re-upload art that we may already have hosted, (or given our permissions for your old MLs to host), or else hazard looking like we don't value our past customers if we don't. By limiting art to the original artist's gallery, you aren't providing any sort of option for people to get permission to rehost art, especially when it comes to reference sheets, batch uploads, deleted artwork, and variations or edited artwork! In this way, you are very much cornering us. You are strong arming us and using this as an excuse to rip off your most loyal players.

This could easily have been avoided if you had taken ANY sort of courtesy to contact us GAs/ExGAs before the VML went live, and make any effort to sort something out that worked for all parties involved.

Why were we not contacted in any form to try to find some sort of amiable solution? Full disclosure: I am pissed off about not being contacted. I am pissed about being fired in the GA purge when you told all of us that you would be contacting us(GAs) again in the new year. You didn't even have the courtesy to reach out individually and tell us 'thanks for your efforts but we aren't asking you back'. You chose to let us sit there with our hopes up for months on end in silence? That's a dick move. Now, when some of us have moved on, or are in the process of trying to, we are being contacted by past customers about a game we might not even play anymore (because it broke our trust and our hearts) all because you decided to put up new random rules on your website? A website that is actually displaying direct image links[1] instead of doing something sensible like coding in a pop-up permissions window that shifts the upload liability to the user instead of the site? You know? Like every modern website doing business inside the bounds of effective DMCA enforcement? Which, FYI, you clearly are not within. I'm not either, as a Canadian. Youtube and DeviantArt are, as corporations existing... INSIDE AMERICA! And don't mumble about WIPO, it's a freaking diplomatic tool, not an actively enforceable legal instrument! Neither is the DMCA, in practise. But that is way beyond the scope of this rant. Seeing as you'd need to have a basic understanding of the history surrounding DMCA and the ensuing voluntary policies put in place as a protective measure by the pre-tech bubble western tech hegemony against the insanity that is the actual base law. Which clearly evidenced by your own words and actions is leagues beyond you. That being said, I am not upset with my customers, or anyone who has contacted me in hopes of getting their art sorted out. I am all on-board to help them get things working, because I respect them and am grateful that they supported me in the past and bought my art. However, I am sick of the abuse that players, mods/exmods and GAs/ExGAs continue to endure in this community simply because you keep changing your product on a whim. Griff, these customers bought art that represents a character in your game from someone you granted license to do so. This art was expressly sold for use in your game, which includes being hosted on the game's ML. All art that GAs made for your game was sold to the customers, as a product that works within the World of Griffia. This was explicit by your own actions, words, declaration and by the license you implicitly extended to your agents. Your employees, the GAs! You know, the people you paid with licensing rights to do work for you? Licensing rights that had DIRECT monetary value! The people you also paid with access to monetary instruments known as proxy currencies, or by game speak, ITEMS! For fuck sake, you prattle on about DMCA while ignoring the actual laws you are beholden to? How in the hell have you not seen the rulings on digital goods that can be exchanged for real money?!? You are Norweigan! You are PART of the fucking European Economic Area. Those portions of EU laws explicitly apply to you! THEY ARE LAWS REGARDING ECONOMIC ACTIONS! How can you be so comfortable quoting laws with such blatant inaccuracy? And now, through all of this, you are telling your customers that it is not your problem? If they don't get to use the art they purchased with real money, in the context it was bought for, then they are clearly suffering a loss. Their character is being devalued by your actions unless they give YOU money? Their investment, as is the case with a great deal of players, is now worth less! They have no other option other than to suck it up? To deal with the n/a page or to pay a now select-few artists (your agents, your employees) real money to fix it? To give you or your agents money or suffer the consequences of a depreciated asset? And make no mistake, your "guest artists" are your agents. They are your employees. Just because you don't understand the most basic principles of money doesn't make it any less so. You are paying them in rights. Your most loyal fans (customers) now must shell out even more money to get a new rebase, or draw themselves new art that can't go in this official slot at all? The least you could do is allow people the option to make themselves a rebase on your official bases that can count as official art.

On top of it all, you aren't actually providing credit to the original artist since you just have direct image links. Embedded images that only exist so long as dA continues to host that particular library file. Images that don't even link back to the artists original post, but steal it directly from the hosting infrastructure[1]!?! Hosting infrastructure that will clear eventually. Whether by an inactive user, scheduled maintenance, or malice, the links will die. Data costs real money. Somewhere in the world it is taking up warehouse space. Regardless of whether it's a digital set of bits on a storage drive. It costs actual money to host. Likely the real reason you don't want to host the images yourself? The DMCA explanation is gibberish, at best, as noted above. So no, dA isn't going to be hosting the current image files forever, and yes, you will inevitably have images go missing again, which means you are going to be right back at square one (missing images because they got deleted), which is what you've been trying to say you are attempting to avoid this whole time! Asking for a 'stable dA link' is literally nonsense. An entire point of having your own website for a game like this, is so that you are not dependent on dA hosting your stuff… and yet you are making this exact mistake again. You are making a mistake, while in the same breath, freaking out about that exact mistake? Are you insane? You are integrating automation and other features, but to have waited a whole year to see that this new VML doesn't even provide credit to the original artist (either by text, via link-through, or ANYTHING), and be greeted with arbitrary restrictions like no background, no pets, only individuals AND all has to be posted by only the original artist specifically only on dA galleries… AND to be followed up with dismissals that hosting this art is our own problem, when it's in fact all for YOUR game… and to support YOUR livelihood… I'm infuriated that I'm not seeing you taking any responsibility for this or respecting your customers for having put money into your game economy by buying a product that's value was solely granted by it's rights of use within your game! You keep breaking your promises, Griff, and there's only so much ground left to stand on.

I feel like you are not only being flippant towards us GAs/ExGAs, but trying to make this the GA's problem. Is this just so you can hide from your responsibility and milk even more money of your most loyal fans? Some of us aren't even a part of your team anymore and don't have any obligations to your game whatsoever. But you're trying to sell some bullshit to shift the blame regardless? You are breaking your promises to YOUR customers, who are trying to play in YOUR game! Before you go saying that I'm simply blaming all of this on you directly, Griffsnuff… I am. Griffsnuff, you are the owner of Griffia. I don't give a flying fuck what your godly levels of gibberish have to say otherwise. Especially since the words included in that gibberish changes with the seasons of your feelings. You ultimately carry all blame. Responsibility ultimately falls on… that's right… you! You are the owner. That is how reality works, and I agree it sucks, but that is the responsibility you take on when you decide to run a business. You can't keep telling everyone you are doing this all with the intent to have fun and make a game for you and your friends to play. No. If this was all for fun, you would not be selling characters… for large amounts of money… that explicitly say in them that they can be used in this game… and encouraging people to buy these characters to play in this game with you…. That is literally a business. (A proprietorship is still a type of business, so yes, even you as a singular artist are running a business when you sell anything!) So if you're upset that people are expecting to continue to use their characters within your world… who made up the rules that the characters could be sold into your world? You did. You allowed us GAs/ExGAs to freely make in any capacity, quantity and quality the species that you assigned us, as well as Rebases in literally any form/style/quality/etc we wanted. So long as they were on a transparent background, were solo, and at least vaguely followed (when you could be arsed to double check) the non-existent species information that you scribbled across three groups, countless stashes, and numerous google docs. Yes, eventually even you, started to realize that not giving us structure and real (consistent) written rules to follow was starting to backfire on you. It seems you even finally realized that you were giving away actual value. You were in fact using licensing as a proxy for cash. I think even you realized you were losing money out of your own pocket from your utter failures to comprehend your own decisions. But wait, this is the part where it's everyone else's fault right? Wrong. You gave out those license rights. You told people that they were buying a shiny special character design that could do things based on their status, subtype or species. Then you were surprised that people were upset that you made yourself out to be a liar when you changed those things to have less value? You allowed GAs to make as many of their designs as they wanted… and then act surprised when the market tanked because suddenly there was more supply than demand for any given thing? You create new and exciting things with nothing more than whimsy and then act defensively when people get upset with you when you randomly alter your half baked ideas?

You have created all of this for yourself.

TL;DR: You have clearly, and repeatedly, over many years shown a complete inability to comprehend markets, or market forces. Regardless of creed, philosophy, or ideology the inscrutable fact is that Griffia is first and foremost a market. Griffia is not art. Griffia is not stories. Griffia is not a game. It is a marketplace in which people (yourself included) create stories, play a game, and trade art. Trade makes a market. Gravity makes apples fall. The sun makes life possible. Your job, your profession, and your livelihood is the production and management of this marketplace. The ramblings in which you lament otherwise are no defense from reality. You sold a marketplace, to sell your art. You hired artists to work for you and paid them in licensing rights. Your incompetence left buckets of money on the table, and when you finally noticed it, your reaction is to fuck over every one of your customers who didn't predict the future collapse of your idiocy? Fuck you, Griffsnuff.

I'm done giving you my attention, my effort, my work, and all the space you have rented in my brain over the last 3 years. I would have been better off dedicating that time to literally anything else. I only have myself to blame for sticking around for so long and continuing to hope that maybe things would improve. 2 years ago, I told you all of this in less jargon and kinder words[2] because I wanted to help you grow. A year ago, I despaired and wrote you a second letter[3], urging you to reconsider your actions and warning you that you were leaping off a cliff-face. Today, 3rd time is the charm and I'm fucking done. This letter was for me, not for you. I'm so fucking done. This is where I draw my line. I hope for their sake, that others do so too- players, mods/exmods and GAs/ExGAs alike. They deserve to be treated with respect, not whatever this web of constant lies, broken promises, ass-kissing, randomly enforced unwritten rules, favouritism, and arbitrary yet crushing lore/anatomy changes is pretending to be. This is my third and final letter I will write to you Griff, as I fear it yet again will fall on deaf ears as my second one did. I sincerely hope you will read it, and take the time to thoroughly understand it. But I doubt it. Past clients, I'm still supporting you. I'm only done with Griff and Griffia, not with you. Check my blog here for the preamble to this letter where I address this.

PS: I would like you to answer 'one' question. If I choose to leave dA entirely to get away from this mess of a game once and for all, how do you propose to deal with the artwork I made for others? How will you honour that agreement? The agreement in which you licensed me to make art for your customers in exchange for services rendered. How will you cope with your resentment that you lost a bunch of money because you are shitty at your fucking job? The one where you run a marketplace for art governed by licenses you don't understand? It certainly wouldn't be fair to punish your customers by taking away their access to the art they bought from me. But, that seems to be your current choice? You have currently cornered everyone and provided no solution for those who are affected. If I were to simply go through and delete all my artwork or account to get a fresh start what would happen? If granting them permission to rehost my artwork isn't enough, and granting your past MLs permission to do so isn't enough, and granting your current VML permission to use any and all Griffian art I have made up until today isn't enough… then I'm at a loss. Is your completely mindless understanding of a set of laws that doesn't affect you, enforced by a policy guideline voluntarily adhered to, and failed to be managed by you due to sheer ignorance, going to stop you from doing what's right? So my 'one' question?

Are you really willing to be an extortionist? Because, despite your massive inability to comprehend reality, I suspect at the very least you can wrap your head around the facts. If you continue this tact; You are simply and plainly extorting your most loyal players while lying to their faces about your intentions and covering it all up with blatant defamation of your past artists. You are telling people that if they don't give YOU money, the things they own, will be worth less. By any and all moral definitions, that is extortion.

PPS: Now legally? Well holy shit that is WAY more scary seeing as how you are Norwegian and are not as protected by the disgusting monster that is crony capitalism. You NEED to see a Norwegian corporate lawyer regarding your legal requirements of disclosure. Because, according to your own nations Criminal Code (as translated to English) "Chapter 25. Extortion and Robbery", if you are altering the marketplace in an unlawful manner then you are using "unlawful conduct" as a tool to cause another party to suffer "loss". The unlawful conduct being your actions and the loss being the devaluation of artless characters in a market (in your words "a game") about character art. You could be facing your nation's minimum sentence of prison time for extortion. How strong are your consumer advocacy groups? How focused are your cops on white collar crime? How much do you trust your law enforcement to protect individuals over business interests? Morally speaking you are clearly extorting people, but you need a lawyer to give you advice on whether you are doing so criminally. You absolutely fucking need to go see a lawyer! In your own country!! To see if you are even allowed to abruptly change a market in this way. Your nation will have its own complex legislation prescribing your conduct as a market provider. It will likely fall under contract law. PPS:PS: Please keep in mind, when you do your due diligence (reading your own countries laws) before doing the smart thing and talking to a lawyer, that in legal writings, subsequent statements and sections are subservient to the prior. Seriously, go see a lawyer. You could be in actual real danger. The minimum sentence for extortion is jail time with the option of a fine in addition! (Not even touching the whole loot box/winning flower/treasure bean stuff that you are laughably under protected from if other EU web presences are to be used as an example.)

I'm not an expert, but I can read. You should too. Then pay a fucking expert.

[1] Inspect the source and URL, WIXMP is Wix Media Platform, the backbone of the DA hosting architecture. They switched to it while ramping over for the move to Eclipse. [2] The first letter, written in good faith.

[3] The second letter, still in good faith, but much more upset.

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