#bro got kicked from the function

[brodyfoxxsmassivetits]

dumb idiot british teanagerss

:3 meow

tom n jon centric follow up..comic.. doodles..if that tickles ur fancy.. teenaged conflict

[centaurianthropology]

What LeeBeeBee does for the Story of ‘Murderbot’

So we’ve finally met Blonde Lady in the series (her name is LeeBeeBee), and I think she’s filling a really interesting and important role plot-wise and worldbuilding-wise, and doing so in unexpected ways that are surprising even book-readers.  She’s wholly original to the show, so no one knows what precisely the writers have planned for her.

But I certainly have thoughts and predictions. 

I figured I’d break my thoughts on her up into two sections.  The first section is for all the folks who are show-only, and I’ll only be examining her role in S1E5, without any additional speculation pulling from book knowledge and what I think the writers are doing with her in the longer term.  The second part will speculate on the upcoming episode, and how I think it could play out.  No idea if I’m right about everything (or anything!), but it’s always fun to speculate!

FUNCTION IN S1E5 (SPOILERS FOR E1-5)

Let’s kick it off by talking about LeeBeeBee in isolation in this episode, what her function in this particular episode was, what she does for the plot, the larger world, and what she does for the storytelling format. 

Let’s start with her plot function, the most obvious part of her role in this episode.  She appears at the beginning as the sole survivor of DeltFall, makeup smeared and uniform dirty.  This immediately sets her apart from the PresAux gang.  She’s apparently the indentured cleaner that DeltFall rented for the hab along with the SecUnits, and this cleaner is wearing makeup despite having a physically laborious job in a field unit on a mostly-uninhabited planet. 

This small bit of visual storytelling sets DeltFall up as a very different society to PresAux.  PresAux deliberately only took one (cheap) SecUnit, which is understandable given their objections to using constructs as slave labor.  None of them wear makeup in the field, and they certainly don’t have a cleaner.

But DeltFall not only had multiple constructs, but also an indentured servant to do housekeeping, and there is either an expectation or a cultural norm that she be made up while she do her indentured job.  They feel, from this introduction, very Corporation Rim. 

LeeBeeBee herself acts as a personification of the Corporation Rim on a level we haven’t been able to dig into with the limited screentime of the Company Tech Bro sales reps.  From her first scene on the hopper, she feels like she’s from a completely different world to the empathetic and sweet Preservationers.  She almost immediately objectifies SecUnit in a way that is openly offputting to both the audience and clearly to the Preservation crew, who likely don’t say anything both out of shock and out of some belief that this woman has to have some sort of brain damage to say something like that.

But this level of objectification, I think, lies at the heart of the Corporation Rim.  It’s not that constructs are objects, but their workers are valued.  LeeBeeBee is an indentured servant.  She has no more free will than SecUnit.  She objectifies it because she sees herself as a step above a construct, and in the CR hierarchy, you’re likely encouraged to objectify anyone beneath you.  And that comes around to something equally uncomfortable when she finds out it’s got a hacked governor module and is a rogue.  She views it as a person now, but what does that mean? 

She objectifies herself for it. 

And doesn’t that make the worst sort of sense on a survival level for a person in her position?  She’s fully adapted to doing what she has to do to survive.  She views sex in an incredibly transactional and exploitative way.  When she thinks SecUnit is an object, she has the power and she immediately speculates about using it as a sex toy.  When she shifts into thinking of it as a person, she also knows how dangerous it is, and reverses their power dynamic, offering sex as a transactional way to protect herself. 

It’s awful, deliberately so.  But I think it’s a great and visceral way to get into the Corporation Rim mindset: constructs aren’t special; everyone who isn’t wealthy or powerful is an object.  You don’t get to be a person with fully autonomous choices until you’re one of the elite.  Until then, sex is just another way of trying to get a slight advantage in an endless rat race.

Having LeeBeeBee represent this deeply uncomfortable aspect of an end-stage capitalist hellscape like the CR also does something on a storytelling level.  This addition of an outsider character fully shifts the POV in the show.  Up until her introduction, the PresAux crew felt like the strange outsiders that MB was judging, but by introducing the worst possible representation of the CR, our alignment completely shifts.  We are not only on Preservation’s side, but we are insiders with them.  They now feel normal and lived in, and she feels like the outsider.  And this reflects the shift going on in Murderbot.  Even before it’s willing to acknowledge it, through the framing of LeeBeeBee we subconsciously know it has realigned itself with the PresAux crew. 

So that’s why I think she was an effective addition in this episode.  If you’re interested in some book spoilers and speculation for the next episode, jump below the cut.

FUNCTION IN S1E6 AND BEYOND (SPECULATION, SPOILERS FOR ‘ALL SYSTEMS RED’)

Are they gone?

Groovy.  Let’s get under the hood and talk about all the ways she’s working on multiple levels, not just embodying all the worst parts of the CR as I previously mentioned, but playing it up as a means of camoflage.  Because LeeBeeBee is almost certainly a GrayCris plant, precisely what SecUnit and Mensah were worried about, and the crew absolutely did take her in despite the danger because they are good people.  And they would do the right thing, even if Murderbot objected.

It’s so nice to get to see exactly how DeltFall might have been infiltrated, which we didn’t get to see in the book.  And so many of her lines read differently when you think of her as a plant.  Did DeltFall call PresAux ‘the Amateurs,’ or was that GrayCris?  Did DeltFall actually have an indentured servant, or is that GrayCris?

I think that a lot of what she’s saying is truthful, or is just a slight twist on the truth.  I do think she’s likely indentured.  I do think she views others and herself as objects to be used and exploited and discarded.  She’s suffering under one of the cruelest practices in the Corporation Rim, but she’s still fully bought into the CR propaganda and mindset.  Rather than defecting and embracing freedom the way Gurathin likely did, she’s almost certainly looking at getting years shaved off her indenture by acting as an infiltrator and assassin

That’s so perfectly horrid.  She would rather still be indentured but get in better with her bosses than accept real freedom.  It’s a cowardice I think we can all see in our world, that she would take the safe misery and be willing to hurt others to do it, rather than take a major risk and step outside the system.

She’s also dialing up her inherent objectification of others to a level that makes her deliberately off-putting, so the PresAux crew want to look away from her rather than examining her too closely.  If they just want to sort of ignore her, then they’re not going to dig too far into her actions.  If she runs off to communicate back to GrayCris regarding a rogue SecUnit they’re not going to follow her, and are going to be glad to get a break from her.

Her distraction tactics work particularly well against Murderbot, who she makes wildly uncomfortable to the point it’s very glad to get away from her, and is likely deliberately trying not to think of her.  If you watch who she’s targeting with this barrage of unpleasantness, she does it first as a blanket with the crew to gauge reaction, then targets it at SecUnit once she realizes that it’s not being controlled by the combat override, and that it’s fully rogue.  There’s no easy way for her to control it (as I suspect she was controlling the DeltFall SecUnits), so she had to improvise, because as far as she’s concerned, this independent SecUnit is the #1 threat to her plan to kill the PresAux crew.  She must have been so relieved when it went with Mensah to trigger the beacon, because she knew the beacon was rigged to explode, and she had a good chance of getting rid of both the biggest threat and the team leader, and she didn’t even have to do anything!

Which, to her mind, only leaves the rest of the PresAux team to deal with.  After SecUnit, she almost certainly considers Gurathin the next biggest threat, because she would certainly underestimate the Preservationers, but he’s ex-corporate, so she would respect the threat he posed.  So after Mensah and SecUnit are gone, she zeroes in on Gurathin.

I think she almost certainly has a dossier or some other large amount of personal and professional information about him from his days in the CR.  What did she do when she first talked to him after Mensah and Murderbot were gone?  She offered him a stimulant.  I’m now convinced that his therapy modules were—in addition to being for generalized trauma (why did you learn to be quiet, Gurathin??)—meant to treat a stimulant addiction he struggled with after using them to work whatever insane hours he was required to work when he was in the CR. 

I think this next episode is going to be Gurathin-heavy.  The writers are setting up deliberate contrasts between the die-hard-to-a-horrific-level Corpo LeeBeeBee and Defector-with-Trauma ex-Corpo Gurathin.  I wonder if he won’t try to sort of reach out to her in the next episode (was he indentured too?), convince her to defect too, only to have her turn it all around on him and use his backstory against him.  If he was indentured, did he break contract to run to Preservation?  Is there a bounty on him?  Is there a bounty on his AUGMENTS, body not needed in return?

I sort of have an image of the next episode playing out like a horror film, where we realize that LeeBeeBee is the exact infiltrator that took out DeltFall, that GrayCris SecUnits are incoming, MB and Mensah may already be dead, and the person who was responsible for the DeltFall massacre is inside the hab right now.

Especially if we don’t know what happened to MB and Mensah for the majority of the episode, instead focusing on the rest of the group.  Without the snarky voiceover, the terror of the situation could really get hammered home.  Again, this is fully speculation of how it might play out next episode, but my guess is that the big cliffhanger next episode is going to be LeeBeeBee attacking Gurathin.  Previews have shown him with a bandage on his leg, and holding a cane, which some people have pointed out looks like a blind walking cane.  That makes me wonder if she manages to not only disable him with a shot to the leg, but damage visual augments he might have, rendering him partially blind.

I think we’ve also been getting a lot of background work with Gurathin being terrified of rejection and abandonment throughout this season.  He and MB parallel one another in not wanting to share Mensah, because they both are afraid the other will manage to take her from them (completely ignoring that Mensah has two fucking hands, and more than enough love in her to love her family, and both of these idiots too).  If LeeBeeBee really wants to twist the knife in him, she’s going to tell him that if the others are going to survive, they have to abandon him.

And Pin-Lee, Arada, Bharadwaj, and Ratthi are almost certainly going to refuse.  Much like Mensah refused to abandon MB when it was damaged, they’re going to refuse to leave their friend behind.  Because they can disagree with him, they can think he’s wrong about SecUnit, but they still love him and won’t leave him.

This sets up E7 to be the big turning point between the nadir of act 2 (MB and Mensah may be dead, Gurathin is injured, and the others are in direct danger because they won’t leave him behind), and the start of act 3 (MB and Mensah return and save everyone!  They can all come together, defeat GrayCris and escape alive!). 

And all of this gets facilitated because of the introduction of LeeBeeBee, who acts as a face for GrayCris (and likely a way to give us information about them) and for the whole vicious corporate people-as-objects theme that consumes the Corporation Rim.  It’s so much easier to loath GrayCris when we can see the sorts of people it creates, and she is such a great example of that.

[thefusioncelestial]

Mix 18: Once brothers, now Him

Ah, brotherly love. 55% love, 45% violence. History is full of examples of those bound by blood spilling that same blood.

Here is Finn:

Just about to graduate from university. Great grades, top of his social circle, off to a potentially great career, & noted ladies man.

Then there is his twin, Leon:

The only thing he does better than Finn at is academics. His lack of connection building meant that at best, he could go the professor/teacher route.

These brothers were both content with their lot in life....until the test results came in.

Finn had an incurable disease that also induced infertility. Finn would live a long life, but could never start a family of his own. Leon was devastated as well, but he shot down the idea of using his seed to father Finn's kids.

"Come on bro, we're twins, genetically any kids you have will be mine as well. I am not asking you to sleep with my future wife, just put it in a cup & walk away," Finn said.

"No, it would be hard to treat my kids like I am their uncle when I am their father. Imagine something bad happens & my parental instincts try to kick in. Or, when my kid accomplishes something & I want to celebrate with them. It's going to lead to awkward situations," Leon said in curt & said tone.

"Then just move far away, just until they turn 18, then we can readdress this," Finn said.

"Family gatherings," Leon asked.

"Don't come," Finn said.

Leon was dumbfounded. He wanted his own brother to destroy his own familial relationships because his sack can't finish the job.

This has always been an issue between the two. Leon has always sacrificed his well being for his brother's sake & never got so much as a thanks.

Leon got in Finn's face.

"Out of the question," Leon screamed.

Before they could further react to the situation, both brothers began to feel dizzy & moved closer to each other. But Finn was able to get out of the trance and put some distance between himself & Leon.

"There has to be another solution. I know I am asking a lot from you," Finn said.

"Like you always do," Leon retorted.

Finn squinted his eyes in frustration but decided to think about his next words. He wondered why Leon was pushing back on this. He doesn't really have to leave the family. He can just be the overly involved uncle. There is more to this.

"We are going to therapy," Finn said in an authoritative tone.

"Don't act like the boss man now. You may have the muscles, but I am still older," Leon said.

"By fifteen seconds. You can walk yourself there, or I can carry you. My third arm might be useless, but these two guns are still functional," Finn said.

"You wouldn't dare," Leon said.

Finn smiled.

Finn did in fact carry Leon to the university's mental health clinic. Leon regrets starting Finn on the gym bro path back in high school.

There was an opening from a last minute cancellation & the brothers met Dr. Krushnik.

Finn moved to talk first, but Leon just suddenly let it out. About how he sacrificed nearly everything for Finn growing up & gave up his social life for him as well in university. About how their parents always favored Finn. Like he didn't exist. Like his existence was just to back Finn up.

Finn was shocked & hurt, but he thought back to all the times. Better toys, better clothes, allowed to do sports. He even overheard how Leon gave up his spot in a fraternity so that Finn could get in. The party invites redirected to him.

Finn reached his hand out to grasp Leon's.

"I am so sorry," Finn said in a sorry tone.

Leon was shocked mentally. First from spilling his guts & then from his brother's reaction. The hand grasping turned into a full blown hug.

The doctor sighed. The brothers reconciled without him saying a word.

It happened again. The brothers felt delirious. They could hear each other's thoughts. They pulled back quickly.

The doctor noticed this.

"Did you hear each other's voice in your heads," he asked.

They both nodded.

"I only dealt with a case like this once," he said.

"I am going to guess that you two are twins. You two are splitters," he said.

"We are what," Leon asked.

The doctor responded:

"Identical twins start off as one person, during the pregnancy, the original you splits into two separate zygotes & twins are born if you both survive."

"Not all twins are splitters. The distinction is that you two can still rejoin," he said.

Leon was confused.

"Wait, would merging fix our health issues," Finn asked loudly.

Leon was shocked at Finn's response. He knew exactly what Finn wanted to do.

"Such as," the doctor asked.

Finn blushed, in a hushed tone:

"I suffer from a disease that makes it impossible to have kids."

The doctor responded:

"There is some literature that speculates that splitters can suffer from ill effects if they don't pull everything they need."

The doctor eyes both of the brothers.

"You seemed to have stopped at the nether regions."

Finn closed his eyes & blushed again.

Leon facepalmed.

They were heading back to their dorm room when Finn punched Leon in the shoulder.

"What was that for," Leon asked.

"For splitting with me. We should have walked this earth as originally intended, as one," Finn said.

Leon blushed again. Was he that determined to bear fruit? The doctor did warn us that the original persona would take over. We would only exist as individuals in his subconsciousness. The idea of being stuck with Finn & debating about everything for as long as they existed 24/7 nearly gave him a headache.

They both walked into their shared dorm room.

"I know what you are thinking, that I only want to merge to be fertile. But it isn't restoring my fertility, the process will reform a new being. We are restoring him, whatever we were originally," Finn said.

"Oh you want to merge with me that much. I got you down bad," Leon retorted. He sticked out his tongue & panted like a puppy.

Finn threw a pillow at him in response.

"Look, I don't want to exist as half a person anymore. Please, join with me," Finn begged.

"You are never "half" a person. You are you and fully worth existing as is. If I am doing this, I don't want to merge with a wimp with self-confidence issues," Leon said.

Finn was shocked, his brother agreed. His shock turned to joy.

He didn't notice but Leon was right up close to him.

"Never say I never did anything for you, this better be worth it," Leon said.

Leon embraced his brother in a hug & soon after, so did Finn.

The delirium set in again. Come to find out, it was their minds opening up to each other to begin mixing.

There was a soft moan coming from the brothers. Their memories & mental traits were mixing into one.

As their minds became one, Leon began to sink into Finn like quicksand. The sounds coming from Leon stopped as his head sunk into Finn's chest. Within a few minutes, Leon was completely sunk into Finn's body.

Finn's closed his eyes & began to flex his fingers and toes. But this was no longer Finn. This was now their original self being reborn & his reaction to the process.

Stretching & pulling noises could be heard as his neck, shoulders, arms, legs, & feet expanded with new muscle. At the same time, the skeletal frame thickened and expanded. This original self grunted in response.

Pops could be heard as the chest grew bigger. The abdominals became flat at first, but as if one was popping saran-wrap, his abdominal muscles began to pop out one by one until he had an eight pack.

His butt expanded as well, but more gently. It was as if he had balloons for butt cheeks that were connected to a water hose, and someone turned the water on.

The sensation of being filled didn't stop there, it eventually extended to his private areas. At first he was fully extended to what Finn could achieve, but then his rod kept growing, and in waves, it grew thicker. His gonads came to life & grew four times their size. He cocked his head upwards in response.

Their minds finally became one. Finn let Leon completely in & so did Leon in return. They were reborn, no remade into their original persona.

His skull grew larger & a little more straighter. His eyes, mouth were Finn's but less sunken. His nose & eyebrows a combination of the two. His ears & chin was from Leon.

He kept Finn's hair style, but he gained Leon's volume. The flood of testosterone caused facial hair to erupt, giving him a beard, mustache, & side burns that connected.

He opened his eyes & his rebirth was complete. He found himself breathing heavily & a quick scan revealed he was drenched in sweat. He was naked too. Apparently Finn's clothing could not handle his much bigger frame and tore off.

Even though he was alone, he grabbed a white towel and wrapped it around his waist.

He quickly went to the bathroom to check out his form.

Here he was in flesh. He never thought he would ever exist as a whole the moment he split while in his mother's womb. But here he is. He knew that Finn & Leon could never return individually, and while he was grateful for both trying to live their lives, he had no desire to split again.

But who was he? He was never given an name as he was due to the nature of his birth, but wait he did have a name.

History had shifted. In merging back into one, the brothers merged their timelines too. He given the name of....Magnus.

He later took some fertility tests, and found no issues. Finn got his wish, sort of.

Thanks to the Leon part of him, there was no desire for kids until 28. If Finn was still here, he would be facepalming & Leon would be cackling. One last brotherly hit from brother to brother.

[rosiehrs]

civil war | hanni

summary ; you don't know how to function without expressing your disdain for each other, but sometimes all you need is to share a drink to bring peace.

pairing ; hanni pham x fem!reader

content ; non idol!au, enemies to lovers…?, mild jealousy, lame insults, hanni doesnt like yn's outfits, yn and hanni are annoying

genre ; fluff

word count ; 4075

not even 10 seconds in and the two of you were already going at it.

“goofy outfit, bro.” hanni comments as you finally arrive at the café you all agreed to eat at. you raised your eyebrow at her, scoffing. “i know you’re not talking with that hair.”

“i’m trying something NEW. maybe you should too!” she fought back, crossing her arms and turning away from you. “we’ve been here together for approximately 5 seconds and you’re already at it. i’m genuinely amazed. how are we a function friend group?” minji complains, the look of disbelief clear on her face. danielle laughed, wrapping her arms around you and hanni. “it’s gonna be a fun day! brighten up, everyone! we’re gonna eat good, have good conversations and so much more!” 

“unnie, yn and hanni will kill each other before any of that happens.” hyein butts in as she eyes the desserts on display. “so not true! what do you think, haerin?” dani asks, catching the younger girl off guard. haerin slowly turns to look at her and blinks. “mm.”

“exactly! thank you! now let’s eat and have fun, yes?”

“yes..” you all replied. you looked over to see hanni glaring at you, causing a laugh to escape your throat. you stuck your tongue out at her and let dani drag you to a table.

“why can’t you just be a normal person and wear a normal outfit?”

“how is this not a normal outfit?”

“you’re just not normal.”

“do you think you’re funny?”

“i’m funnier than you.”

“im taller than you.”

“who fucking asked you?”

“i–”

“no one asked! next!” hanni interrupts, taking a huge bite out of her bread roll menacingly. “i hope you choke.” you replied, kicking her under the table earning a muffled yelp. you laughed as you watched her aggressively chew, clearly wanting to say something back at you. “apapap! unnie, calm down, you might actually choke.” she looked at danielle and defeatedly obeyed. she looked up, sending you a glare. a small smile couldn't help but spread across your face as you watched her cheeks full of bread move up and down. you couldn’t deny that hanni was cute. even at times when you found her absolutely insufferable, you still found her adorable. but that was something you’d take to the grave. 

“...party and she invited us.”

the girls all began to agree with minji’s words but you were too caught up in your own world to listen. “wait, wait. what? sorry, i zoned out.”

“i said wonyoung is throwing a party tomorrow and she invited us. but i think there will be drinks there? you comfortable with that, hyein? we would take care of you!”

“please. it’s a party thrown by wonyoung unnie, of course there are drinks. besides, i’ve been friends with you guys for so long, i think i’m comfortable around alcohol.” she replied, rolling her eyes. minji laughed at her, bumping her shoulder. “okay, big girl. you down, y/n?” you nodded excitedly, “yeah! should be fun.”

“hanni? dani? haerin?”

“i’m down!” danielle cheers. “me too.”

“hanni?” minji asks again. “oh, uh, yeah. sure, i’m down.” she muttered, sending minji a small smile. “great! i’ll let her know.” and you all easily found yourselves lost in another silly conversation, but your eyes never left hanni. you could tell something was off but you weren’t close enough to push. if you asked you were certain she would just tell you to go away, so you decided to stay safe and just.. wonder from afar.

you got into minji’s car, greeting everyone excitedly. hyein was in the passenger seat and haerin was sitting on dani’s lap behind them. “we should start taking my family car when we all go out.” hyein suggested, causing minji to laugh. “my car is perfectly fine!”

“you’re not drinking tonight, min?” you asked. “nah, gotta take care of this big baby.” hyein groaned and started arguing with minji about how she wasn’t a baby and that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. minji simply laughed and let the younger girl yap until they reached hanni’s house. she opened the door and stopped her movements as she laid her eyes on you. “these damn outfits, y/n. i want to laugh, but i just feel bad.”

“can we leave her, please? i’m begging.”

“hi hanni unnie! please get in!” 

she hesitantly gets in next to you and shuts the door. you awkwardly tried to shuffle further away, but it was no use. with the two girls next to you, you had no space to go anyway. you tried to remain respectful and leave a little gap between the two of you, but it just meant you squeezed in closer to the other two. 

minji made an abrupt turn causing everyone in the car to move with it. you were pressed against hanni as she grabbed your arm to prevent herself from flying away. “shit, sorry everyone! that car came out of nowhere.”

“unnie, we’re not even there yet and you’re already trying to kill us!” hyein yelled.

“ow.” haerin mumbled, rubbing her head. “you okay, rin?” dani asked, getting a nod in response. you felt some pressure on your arm and saw that hanni had still been holding onto it. “you good?” you asked quietly. her eyes widened as she realised and quickly let go of you, “um, yeah. i.. don’t talk about it.” she turned away to face the window and you laughed at her antics.

“holy shit, where the hell am i supposed to park? the whole street is full?”

with a scoff, hyein crosses her arms. “of course the entirety of seoul is here, it’s wonyoung unnie’s party.” 

“unnie, there! free spot there!” dani directed, minji quickly driving to secure the spot. it took a few minutes.. with hyein yelling, dani trying to help, you and hanni quietly arguing about God knows what and haerin just.. listening to everything.

you all eagerly made your way to wonyoung’s house – mansion? castle? either works! there were already heaps of people in her front yard, walking into her house was another level. there were seas of people, some familiar, some not. you looked around and saw a dj up on a stage-like area, wonyoung knew how to throw parties.

you made your way through the huge crowds, searching for your friends. stepping foot into the kitchen, you see wonyoung, yujin and rei chatting with other people. wonyoung looked up and squealed as she saw you. her face lit up as she ran towards all of you, giving you all a hug. “you came! i’m so happy! i’ve missed you guys! it was only supposed to be a small gathering, but people bring people and those people bring people and you know how it goes.” 

“i can imagine, looks great though! very lively!” dani exclaims, excited by the atmosphere. “thank you! the snacks and drinks are over there and hyein! there’s a bunch of juice! if there’s anything else you need, please just come looking for me! have fun you guys, i’ll call you when we start playing games.”

you all thanked her and made your way towards the snack table. “who’s drinking, raise your hand.” minji said (yelled) over the music. dani and you raised your hands, high fiving in the process. you and dani poured yourselves some drinks and made your way back to your friends. hyein was dancing with minji, haerin and hanni, making the both of you smile. “they’re cute.” you stated, sipping your drink. “yeah, they are! let’s dance!” dani giggled as she dragged you to the dance floor where your other friends were. 

after a few songs, you started to get tired. you stepped away from your group and went to get a sip of water. you looked around and saw a familiar figure outside on the patio. you curiously made your way outside, startling said familiar figure.

“hanni?”

“what are you doing here?” she asked, turning back to look away from you. you shut the sliding door and sat down next to her. “i.. just saw you out here. i didn’t realise you left, are you okay?”

she nodded, “yeah, it was just.. loud. i’m okay. you can go back inside.” you thought about it for a second and decided to stay put. she looked at you with confusion on her face, “i said you can go back inside.” you shook your head and looked up at the sky. “nah, i’m good here.”

hanni opened her mouth to say something else but chose to keep it to herself after she saw how content you looked next to her. she cleared her throat, not knowing how to start a conversation with you. insulting you didn’t seem very fitting in this setting so she didn’t know what to do. “we can just sit in silence, don’t be weird.” you spoke, amusement clear in your voice. “whatever, i’m just trying not to make it awkward.”

“it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” she blinked at you a few times before looking back up at the sky. she took a deep breath in and closed her eyes. you turned to look at her and couldn’t help but smile. she glowed in the moonlight and when she opened them, you saw stars in her eyes. 

“wanna go for a walk?” you regretted it as soon as you opened your mouth. you were certain she was going to laugh at you and throw a childish insult at you. but much to your surprise, she stood up and said, “let’s go.”

you stared at her with shock on your face, quickly standing up and taking your phone out to let minji know. you walked along wonyoung’s neighbourhood, quietly rating each house you walked by. the streetlights weren’t too bright, but weren’t too dim. they gave off the perfect light it reflected clearly on hanni’s face.

“you know, if you weren’t such an asshole - i would be able to say you look pretty without regretting it.”

you heard hanni’s breath hitch next to you, quickly coughing to cover it up. “what happened to being in silence?” she snapped back, trying to hide the fact that she was turning red. “i just called you pretty, can’t you be decent for once and just say thank you?” you retorted, rolling your eyes.

“it- i-.. thank you..” she defeatedly whispered. “see, was that so hard?” she muttered a snarky reply under her breath, but she was extremely flustered. you just watched her for a few seconds, genuinely taken aback by her beauty. you held no hatred for the girl next to you, in fact it was the opposite. you wouldn’t lie and say you were never hurt by the things she said. most times you genuinely had no idea whether or not she actually hated you or this was just her way of communicating with you. like.. it was your thing? but curiosity is strong and sometimes people need answers.

“hanni?” you began, kicking a rock on the path. she hummed in response, looking down at the ground. “do you actually dislike me?” you asked, still avoiding eye contact. “oh.” was all she could let out. she turned to look at you and felt guilty as soon as she saw the look on your face. of course she didn't hate you, she definitely wasn’t good at showing that but dislike was the last thing she felt for you.

“you’ve always argued with me and insulted me, so i reciprocated the energy. i thought it was just banter, but we never seemed to get past it. come to think of it, this is probably the closest thing we’ve had to a proper conversation.”

her demeanor softened, voice laced with guilt. “no, i don’t dislike you. i just thought you didn’t like me either.” she said, eyes glued to the floor.

“i’ve always liked you but with the way you treated me, i knew i didn’t have a chance.”

“no, it– wait what?” she froze and stopped in her tracks, “a chance?” 

“yeah–oh, i see how this can be misinterpreted.” you responded, standing next to her. “oh, you mean like.. have a chance to be friends with me?”

“no.. i mean have a chance with you.” you clarified, leaving hanni dumbfounded. “what?”

“i mean, even with the way you treat me - i see how you treat others. i know you’re a good and kind person, i guess being pretty helps as well, but you’re funny and you care for others. i see how funny you are, how you care for our friends, i know you have a nice voice. you help take care of hyein, you look out for haerin, you help minji out when she feels overwhelmed with everything, you and dani are a great pair and– ”

“– you like me?” she interrupts, eyes almost popping out of her eye sockets.

you tilted your head at her, “yes..?” 

“how?”  “erm.. did i not just explain?”

“how are you acting like this isn’t a big deal?” hanni screeched, throwing her head into her hands, “we’ve spent years shitting on each other and you’re saying you’ve liked me this entire time?!” her voice went up an octave with every word. you quickly shushed her with your hands, trying to prevent the entire neighbourhood from hearing her, “hanni, it doesn’t have to be a big deal! i didn’t tell you because i expected anything, i just wanted to share my side of things. i like you, so i’ve just followed your lead. if arguing and insulting is what you’re comfortable, then i’m alright with that.”

she shook her head, chuckling almost bitterly at your words. “y/n, i’ve always known you to be a sarcastic person, so i’ve only been acting like this towards you because i thought this was what you wanted.” 

she took a deep breath in, taking a step closer to you. “y/n, the truth is i–”

the sound of your ringtone cut her off, taking you both by surprise. you pulled your phone out of your pocket to see minji’s name displayed in big letters. “it’s–i’m sorry. give me a second.” you apologised, answering the call. “minji?”

hanni cleared her throat and took a step back, staring down at the ground. all she needed was 2 more seconds. minji’s timing was impeccable. all she wanted to do was laugh at the absurdity of it all, but all she could muster up was the fact that she felt defeated.

“oh, yeah, alright. we’re coming. okay, see you.” the call ended and you turned to hanni, “we have to go. haerin’s not feeling well.” hanni nodded and followed you as you turned to walk back to wonyoung’s house. “wait, sorry, i interrupted you earlier. you were saying something..?” you reminded, turning to her. her head was down and her shoulders were slumped, you couldn't help but wonder if this was because of what you told her. 

“huh? oh.. no.. it’s nothing. it doesn’t matter.” she mumbled, almost whispering. “are you sure? you can tell me anything, i won’t be offended.” you reassured. you wanted to hear what she felt about.. how you felt. you were almost getting to her, opening up to each other. “yeah, i’m sure. don’t worry about it. let’s just get back to them so we can take care of haerin.”

you slowly blinked at her before nodding. “hanni, i hope what i told you doesn’t change anything. or if i does, i hope we can at least be civil with each other.” she sent you a soft smile and replied, “of course.” with that, you were content. and you were a step closer to being friends.

you reached wonyoung’s house shortly, grabbing hanni’s arm to run towards minji’s car in the distance. “is haerin okay?” you asked immediately. 

they explained that she had snacked too much and needed to rest. the ride back home was.. awkward to say the least. you and hanni didn’t say a word to each other, looking in opposite directions. you felt as if you had screwed everything up until you felt her move next to you. she subtly shuffled closer to you, making your shoulders and knees touch. your entire body stiffened, startled by the sudden contact. 

it was all you could think about when you got home, that and hanni sending you a smile when she got dropped off. she made your heart flutter with the smallest gestures and you could only imagine how she’d make you feel once you were actually friends. you went to sleep that night with a content heart.

a few days after the party, you all agreed to meet up again to try out a new café. you rushed to get ready in hopes that hanni would arrive early again. you reached the café half an hour before the initial plan, eagerly searching for the australian girl.your shoulders slumped when you realised you were the first to arrive. you grudgingly went to find a table big enough to seat all of you. you wanted to sulk, but you never made an arrangement with hanni. in fact, you haven’t spoken to her since the party. you sat there, busy arguing with yourself that you didn’t even realise someone had walked into the café.

a sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts, “hi.” 

“oh.” you began, feeling your heart race as you saw her face. “hanni, hi. you’re early.” she chuckled and took the seat opposite you, “so are you. didn’t expect that from you. did something motivate you?”

“oh, don’t even. i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you scowled, scrolling on your phone to hide the blush creeping up on your face. she pushed your phone down with a grin, “we have to talk, y/n.”

“about what..?” 

“your clothes. what the hell are you wearing.” your facial expressions dropped and you stared at her with a look of disapproval. “i’m not impressed. you’re not funny. it’s good to see that you fixed your hair though.” you retorted.

“you still find me pretty, don’t you?” she teased with a smile. all you could do was stare and you knew you looked stupid. you felt stupid, of course she’d use it against you. she’s hanni. “i don’t like you.”

“hmm, that’s not what you–”

“i’m going to the bathroom! be right back!” you stood up and ran to the bathroom. you stared at yourself in the mirror, embarrassed by how flushed you looked. you wanted to strangle her. she was infuriating, how you still like her will always be a mystery to you. any regular person would hate hanni’s guts, and a part of you does! but for the most part, she makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. you hated her for that, too. 

a few minutes later, you calmed yourself down and walked out to see your friends sitting there. you let out a breath of relief and ran to engulf minji in a hug. “thank you.” you whispered, confusing the girl. “um, you’re welcome?”

“oh, you’re so dramatic.” hanni sassed, “we were alone for ten minutes. it wasn’t that bad.” you watched her roll her eyes and cross her arms, sending you a glare shortly after. so much for being civil. 

‘if being alone with me for ten minutes is so torturous, why does she like me?’ hanni thought bitterly. she didn’t want to admit it, but she was jealous. she’s always been jealous of minji. you were close, always showing each other affection. hanni barely remembers a time when you weren’t on top of each other. it irked her–you irked her. you initiated all of that with minji; why couldn’t you do it with her? knowing how you feel for her, she feels a sense of entitlement over you. you should be hugging her like that. she didn’t pause for a second to think about how quick of a jump it would be for the both of you, nor did she pause to think about the fact that you had no idea that she felt the same way.

you made your orders and began debriefing about anything and everything that’s happened in the past week. however, hanni was too busy staring at you to listen to the conversation, deciding to kick you under the table to earn your attention. you flinched and stared at her with confusion written on your face. “what’s that?” she mouthed, pointing at your drink. 

“whipped cappuccino,” you answered, raising your eyebrows at her. “can i try?” she asked, and you nodded at her in response. she grabbed your drink and placed her lips on your straw. your eyes widened at her actions, and hanni felt accomplished with your reaction. “yum,” she responded, sliding your drink back over to you. 

“what was that.” hyein said, staring at the two of you incredulously. “what the hell was that.”

“what was what?” hanni asked casually, taking a bite out of her pastry. “she poisoned you. y/n unnie poisoned you. there’s no other explanation.” you scoffed at hyein, waving her off. “please.  if i wanted to poison her, i would’ve done it years ago. why would i have willingly put up with her all this time?”

“oh really? yeah, why would you willingly put up with me all this time? honestly, i wish you would’ve poisoned me so i wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore.”

“hyein, they were doing so good.” haerin muttered, throwing her head into her hands.

“you’re lucky to know me, i’m great to be around with! you didn’t mind my company at the party last week.” you retorted. “yeah, well you didn’t mind my company either.”

“why can’t you guys just be friends?” minji asked, clearly exasperated with your dynamics. “i–we are..! um.. friends..! right, hanni?”

“..just friends?” she replied.

“w-what?!” 

“what.”

“huh?!”

“pause.”

“...”

“y/n and i need to talk outside!” hanni sang, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the café. (and ignoring your friends and their comments)

“what the hell was that?!” you shrieked, still taken aback by her question. “it–you–i like you too, idiot!” she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. “i don’t actually mean the insults i throw at you. that’s what i was trying to tell you before minji called.” you felt your entire world stop and in the moment you felt like your head was about to explode. “why the hell didn’t you tell me after?!”

“i was scared! i didn’t know how you’d react!” she responded, equally as hysterical as you. “well, i fucking told you i liked you, of course i’d react well, you fucking moron!”

“don’t call me a moron, i’m not a moron! you’re a moron!”

“why are you yelling at me?!” 

“why are you yelling at me?!” she retorted, causing you to change your demeanor. “oh, i’m sorry. i’m just freaking out. i don’t know what to do. what do we do now?” with a sigh, hanni shook her head. “i don’t know. i just feel stupid, we’ve liked each other for so long and we just.. wasted time. i wished i told you sooner.”

“me too, but there’s no better time than the present..? ..right?” you beckoned, earning a small smile from the girl in front of you. “you still want to be with me..?” 

you took a step closer, “if that’s okay with you?” hanni chuckled, grabbing your hands and wrapping them around her waist. “yeah, that could be arranged.”

“and we wouldn’t try to kill each other?”

“and we would compliment each other.”

“sounds gross,” you joked, yelping shortly after. “ow!” rubbing your arm with one hand and keeping the other around her waist. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”

you giggled, poking her sides. “you like me.”

“you like me too, don’t let it get to your head.” she grumbled, pulling you closer to her. she closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around you and placed her head on your shoulder. for so long, she’s dreamt about the warmth of your embrace and now that she was in your arms–she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“wait, so you don’t think my outfits are bad?”

“don’t ruin the moment, you loser.”

“you owe all me 50 bucks,” dani cheered with a grin on her face, groans from the other three following suit.

im going to die now, thank u. not proofread !!!!

[archangeldyke-all]

Hear me out hear me out...reader with a prosthetic leg that's like sevikas arm and it legit love at first sight bro trust!!

VERY cute omg

men and minors dni

your grandmother would try to kill you if she saw the way you're sitting right now. not only are you manspreading; you've got one leg thrown up onto the wood table in front of you as you sip on your beer.

"do you want me to take my boot off?" you offer, cringing as the dirt caked to your boots starts to dust onto the table top.

the little girl laying on the table shakes her head no. she's lost in her own world, her legs kicking in the air behind her as she doodles all over the smooth metal surface of your leg.

you stopped in the last drop for a quick drink-- but upon entering, the little girl sitting bored at the bar had gasped and ran over to you, gushing to you about your leg and begging to look at it up close. you had laughed and shrugged, bought yourself a pitcher of beer and settled in for a long night.

you've always been a sucker for little kids.

so when she asked if she could give you 'tattoos'-- pulling out a box of oil crayons from the pouch in her overalls, you'd just laughed, ruffled her bangs, and let her at it.

"this the first mech prosthetic you've ever seen?" you ask.

the girl shakes her head no. "silco has a creepy orange eyeball. and sevika's got her arm. yours is way cooler than theirs, though. less menacing."

you snort, wondering how a prosthetic could possibly be menacing. "who are you, anyways?" you ask.

"jinx!" a voice shouts. you both look up to the top of the stairs. a beautiful, angry, cloaked woman storms down the stairs, glaring at jinx, apparently. the little girl just giggles guiltily, like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar. "fuck're you doing down here? you know you aren't allowed in the bar during open hours. get upstairs before i drag you up by your stupid little braid."

"geez, relax, sevika. i was just checkin' out this beauty!" she exclaims, knocking on your metal knee. you laugh.

"she's no bother."

the woman's eyes dart over to you, and you watch in fascination as her eyes grow wide. "th-that's your leg?" she asks.

you sputter, and jinx bursts into laughter beside you.

"it's attached to her isn't it?!" jinx teases. sevika huffs and flicks jinx's forehead, before reaching up and fumbling with the collar of her poncho.

"no-- i mean--" finally, she finds the seam, and her cloak comes off in one clean swoop. you gawk as a beautiful, sophisticated, and indeed, slightly menacing mech arm is revealed to you.

"oh, janna, look at that!" you gasp, standing from your chair to grab the woman's arm. you twist and turn it in your hold, gawking at the incredibly intricate design and function, running your fingers over the sharp claws of her finger tips-- it isn't until jinx gives an annoyed grunt that you snap out of your trance and take a step away from the woman you've practically ambushed.

only, sevika takes a step forward when you do, shoving her arm back in your grasp. you blink up at her, your stomach somersaulting when you meet her beautiful, twinkling silver. "did you make yours?" sevika asks, a little breathless.

you grin. "sorta. i got a cousin who did most of it. i handed her screwdrivers and stuff. did you?"

"y-yeah." she admits.

jinx scoffs. "oh, please. all the cool features are from me or singed. i was the one who told you to add the machete--

"machete!?" you gasp, your excitement growing.

"-- and singed did the shimmer injecti-- mph!" jinx is muffled by sevika's flesh hand.

"d-do you ever go to marty's mech--

"--repair shop?!" sevika finishes for you.

marty's the only man in the whole city who makes bio-chargeable parts.

you burst into laughter.

sevika smiles at you, a gorgeous little gap in her teeth revealing itself, and then she gasps and wretches her hand away from jinx. "you fucker, you bit me!"

"it's torture to force me to watch you two flirt. certifiable torture. peg-leg; come find me when you're finished giggling with general dingus over here. i'm not done with the drawing yet." jinx huffs and walks away.

you laugh as jinx marches off, then quickly wipe off the dirt covered table you were sitting at. "d-do you wanna have a beer with me? i gotta finish this pitcher..." you gesture to your table awkwardly.

sevika grins. "can't let good beer go to waste, can we?" she asks, settling down in a chair. you giggle with excitement as you sit beside her, and then you nearly explode when she pulls your mech leg up into her lap.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3

[avelera]

I feel like I don't have the spoons for this, nor the understanding of real-life PTSD enough to explore it, but I feel like it's worth examining Jayce's arc for signs of PTSD. Much has been made of the canonical mental illnesses and PTSD of characters like Jinx, and I've mentioned that I think Jayce might have generalized clinical anxiety, but I think it's worth looking at how much of his behavior might be PTSD related even before he goes to the Anomaly future.

Some possible places I'd look:

Jayce has been getting fed paranoia by Marcus and by the tension that is being deliberately ratcheted up by Silco and Jinx. Yes, he says awful, bigoted things to Viktor on the bridge, but it is worth pointing out that he's not saying this in a vacuum, there are people in proximity to him deliberately stoking his paranoia and that of the city for their own ends, literally Marcus is gaslighting him actively by telling him the Firelights are responsible and the best way to keep people safe is shut down the bridge.

The fight in the Shimmer Factory gets more wild to me every time I watch. Jayce should not be there for so many reasons but one of them is Jayce is not a fighter. I think his video game counterpart sort of obscures this, but unlike Vi who has spent her whole life fighting AND in prison for years, Jayce has never, ever wielded that hammer before. He didn't even have it until the day before! And suddenly he's up against the Shimmer-infused berserkers who are some of the toughest fighters in the whole show. He almost gets his head cut off, if not for features he built into the hammer like weightlessness and the shield, he'd be dead, and then he makes what I call the, "Jayce is Making Bad Decisions" Face (I need to make a gifset of this face btw, he makes it a couple times, also while resurrecting Viktor).

Ok I might make fun of the Jayce is Making Bad Decisions face, BUT on a serious note, it's clear the Fortiche animators are doing a superb job showing someone who has gone into "Adrenaline Mode". REAL fighters do not want adrenaline. Adrenaline fucks up your reaction times and makes you shaky and turns off your higher brain functions. I've been in a fight when fear adrenaline kicks in and you just start wildly swinging to get people away from you and that is exactly what happened when Jayce's face got scrunched up and he started shooting wildly, he just wanted to stop the threat because he's never fought before, unlike Vi. And then he kills a kid and the triumph of his first fight against an uncomplicated enemy just dies and btw, never returns except in that moment fighting more Shimmer berserkers and Renni but those are clear self defense and there's no triumph in it.

BRO gets HIT BY A ROCKET, has a pure panic response leaving living people who need his help in the chamber to save Viktor, and he doesn't go back as far as we know.

Ok so the things that me, as not an expert would be curious to note as possible PTSD responses would be:

Jayce not leaving the lab after the attack except 1) to go to the funeral (where he's attacked AGAIN) 2) to comfort Caitlyn after Mel basically tells him to, 3) to make weapons for Caitlyn's team specifically to keep a small group of people safe, not arm an entire army. Besides that, it looks like he spends all his time holed up in the lab, even after Viktor is gone, because that's his safe space and I think I read once that PTSD has a way of shrinking your world down to just the people and places you trust.

Dragging that hammer around with him in the Anomaly future. Look, Jayce is a city boy, he has no survival instincts, but it wasn't just a bad idea because it broke his leg, it was actively detrimental to his chances of survival because lugging an anvil around drained him of water and calories. Bro had a lot less chance of survival with it, but he thought he was surrounded by zombies (he wasn't, they're all dead and they're all controlled by Viktor, we learn he was never in danger, though I don't blame him for that). But that could also be a PTSD response, his actual emotional support hammer.

Clamming up and not talking to Mel about what happened because she's not in his circle of trust anymore, it's more or less shrunk down to just Viktor (once he can save him) and Cait, maybe.

Ok as usual this got longer than I intended by just... some things that are in my mind right now.

[onelittlespiral]

FML:Relax

From the moment I arrived, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I had come on vacation to kick back for a few days and get some action, but the resort had nearly no women and was instead populated with almost all men. They seemed like nice guys when I talked to them, certainly my kind of guys with how jacked they were. Or at least I thought so.

“Hey cutie, wanna come spend some time with daddy?”

“A newbie! Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle and sweet with you.”

“You looking to top or bottom?”

I realized I must have come on the Gay Days, and the men there were not shy about coming on to me. I tried to politely excuse myself whenever they turned the topic to sex. I spent a lot of time at the pool trying to just relax and have a good time, but it was starting to tick me off.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you here before.”

A man came and sat next to me. He was a scruffy guy, tanned and huge like most of the rest of them. The scent of sunscreen and BO rolled off him. His arms were wrapped in some nerdy tattoos but their size clearly showed he worked out hard. If he wasn’t here this week I would assume him to be a good pick for a gym bud.

“Yeah, first time. Didn’t realize I booked…uh…this week. Not really my scene.”

Something in his demeanor changed. It was hard to describe, but I felt a lot more at ease. He leaned over and began whisper to me,

“If I’m being honest. It isn’t much for me either. But fuck these gay guys know how to party. They’ve got just about anything you could want to take, and basically just pass the shit around. You ever actually tried poppers? I was fucked up bro.”

Maybe it was finally meeting another straight guy but I began relaxing.

He continued, “I got some stashed if you want to swing by and try some shit out.”

Maybe this vacation wouldn’t be such a wash.

I stopped by his room later that afternoon. He greeted me at the door and invited me in as he promised to show off the goods. The room was trashed. The floor was strewn with dirty shirts, shorts, and jockstraps. Shot glasses and beers were stuck to the tables. The bed was drenched in sweat. I stepped in and took a seat on the couch, cautions to avoid the mess. He sat down next to me.

“So, what have you got?”

“You now babe,” he said, throwing his arm in the air.

“Whaaaa…haaa” I started before my brain was afloat.

I slowly leaned forward, drawn in by the thick musk that radiated from his pit. I tried to resist but soon my nose was pressed against it as his sweat filled my brain. I tried to pull back but he rested his arm against the back of my head, pinning me as my brain shut down on the fumes. It wasn’t long before my tongue lolled out of my mouth.

“There you go. Relax. Good boy.”

Good boy. It echoed in my brain, bouncing till it was the only thought left. I quivered in anticipation as I continued to drink in his scent and let his hair tickle my face.

“Yeah, lap it up big boy. This is right where you belong. It was designed just for you, to trap guys and help them fit in a bit more.”

What did he mean by that? But as he told me to lap it up, it was no longer good enough to just smell. I gave a hesitant lick. It only took one as his sweat swam across my mind. All functionality shut down as I worshipped that pit. As I did, I began to feel a change. Deep within an itch, a need developed. A need to be desired by this man… no. To be desired by men. Any who would have me. I felt a new power flow through me, a revitalized energy and strength. He pulled my dumbstruck face out of his pit and gave my hair a quick tousle. His hand glided down my cheek to my chin, and with a firm flick of his wrist pulled my lips to his. He pressed my face to his in a deep kiss as new memories filled my mind. Memories of long nights dancing and drinking at bars. Days working out getting shredded before hitting the sauna for some fun. Of pride parades and glitter in my beard. The longer he kissed me the more I felt myself grow completely comfortable in his arms. I belonged here, with all the hottest guys living it up for a week at the resort. I had been coming here for years to show off, party hard, and fuck into the early morning. My old self was being flushed away, leaking out of my cock, while the new personality filled in the gaps.

My body began to change where his hands brushed over my body. Arms swelled as biceps grew to mounds on my arms. Pecs hung heavy with muscle. Thighs and legs sent slow rips through my shorts until they had burst through, leaving my swelling cock to fight the jockstrap underneath. Feet inched across the floor as my toes curled from the strain. Every inch writhed beneath his touch. He pulled me back to inspect me.

“Damn you’re turning out well, some of my finest work.”

I mumbled in agreement, still stuck in a state of ecstasy as I felt new power surging through me. “Time to seal the deal.”

He slid his jock down, and the full force of his sweat and musk sent my brain swimming. I couldn’t resist as he slid his cock down my open throat, balls deep, and began face fucking me. As his bush filled my nostrils, pre slid down my throat in a steady stream. I felt warm all over, as a deep tan set in. I had come to this resort for years and loved sunbathing and showing off my muscles. The heat persisted, turning to a sweat, the sweat turning to a deep funk. It was the same smell invading my mind and body as he continued to thrust, deeper as my body adjusted to years of sucking men off. It felt like no surprise as a dusting of hair covered my pecs, then pushed down my stomach before my shaved down bush exploded. My pits filled in to better capture my own smell, and keep me just a little high on my own supply.

“Fuck yeah little bro, you’re gonna be so good out there.”

He slipped a hat over my head, and my mind filled with a new purpose. To kick back at this resort and fucking party. To feel pride in who I was and become one of the community. But, most importantly, to grow the tribe and bring more guys into the fold. I felt his cock tense in my mouth as my mind slowed down to accept my place as a gay god, to worship my bros and be worshiped. As thick ropes shot down my throat, I felt strong. I smelt rank. And I was fucking home.

The next day, a new guy showed up to the resort. Skinny, shy, out of place. I came over to talk with him.

“First time here, bro?”

“Yeah, not quite sure I belong.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. Throwing my arm behind my head. My musk caught his attention as his eyes began glazing over, “Why don’t I show you around?”

“Ye…yeah…yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” his face was soon resting in my pit, and I saw his muscles twitch with anticipation, “you’re gonna fit right in bro.”

[tateypots]

In Need Of A Top Up

Part 3 - Can be read as a standalone

Pairing: No outbreak!Joel Miller x wife!reader

Word Count: 4K

Summary: It's Joel's turn for a top up so you pay him a visit at work.

A/N: I wrote this for @baronessvonglitter to apologise for making her cry with another fic I wrote. I'll put a link to the series masterlist but each part can be read as a standalone so don't worry if you haven't read the previous parts.

Reader is not described past having boobs and a vagina and being pregnant.

Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex, pregnancy kink, lactation kink.

Series Masterlist

“Oh hey there sugar, wait let me help you.”

“Hey Tommy,” you greet him back, gratefully letting him help you out of the driver seat of your car, your very pregnant belly and shifted centre of gravity working against you, you’d been huffing and puffing for a few minutes before he’d spotted you and rushed to your rescue.

“Thanks, was beginning to think I’d be stuck in there forever!” you laugh as he pulls you to your feet.

 “Nah we’d have found you eventually,” he laughs back, leaning in to grab your bag from the passenger seat. “How’re ya feelin? Getting’ close now.”

“I’m ok other than your niece going to town on my internal organs.” As if she knows you’re talking smack about her, your little bundle of joy gives you an almighty kick, although this time she has the decency to aim outwards, making a little bulge in your already swollen belly.

“Ah she’s a feisty one huh, can I?” he asks holding his hands out towards your bump.

“Of course, here,” you take his hand and guide it to where you can feel her wriggling around inside you.

“So fuckin’ weird,” he laughs and then leans down, “hey kid, be gentle with your mama ok, she’s already got her hands full with your daddy and sister to deal with.” She responds with a gentle roll against his hands. “Good girl,” he tells your belly, “see, Uncle Tommy’ll keep her right!” he winks at you.

You snort at him and lightly slap his bicep. “Joel in his office?” you ask, waddling towards the door that says Miller Bros Construction in big bold letters.

“Should be, c’mon I’ll walk you in. You heard from Sarah?” he asks as he follows you to the door.

“Yep, she’s been calling every night to check I’m still pregnant. She made me promise before she left that I’d keep my legs crossed until she got back,” you snicker, “sounds like she’s having a good time though.”

“Sounds about right,” he laughs as he holds the door open for you, “hopefully the little one will be less bossy than her big sister.” He turns to the right and heads towards Joel’s office. “I’m actually real glad you’re here, he’s in a foul mood. Margy called in sick and one of the suppliers fucked up an order and he’s been tryin’ to sort it out all mornin’. He’s always in a better mood after seein’ you though.”

“I’ll do what I can to cheer him up. Margy ok?”

“Just a stomach bug she reckons. But you know this place don’t function well without her.”

You did know. When you’d originally hired Miller Bros construction to fit your kitchen 4 years ago the older lady who managed the office had fairly terrified you with her stern demeanour and barked orders. But once you and Joel had started dating and you got to know her a bit better you’d realised she had a heart of gold and Joel and Tommy would be lost without her no nonsense approach to everything.

Tommy knocked on the door gently before pushing it open, a grumpy sounding, “what is it Tommy?” sounding from within.

“Special visitor for you,” he replied with a smirk back at you, ushering you through the door.

The shift in Joel was immediate the second he raised his head and saw you. A huge smile took over his face and he was out of his seat in a second, “hi baby, what are you doin’ here, everythin’ ok?” he asks, smile momentarily dropping as he starts to worry. He wraps one big arm around your back and rests his other hand on your swollen belly, gently stroking it up and down. You smile at him, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“We’re fine baby,” you tell him and he relaxes once more, tension seeping out of him, “thought we could have lunch together.”

“Oh baby I’d love that but I gotta go pick up a replacement order from the supplier, they fucked up and gave us the wrong damn wood.”

“It’s ok I can go,” Tommy offers, “I told Maria I’d meet her for lunch and that supplier ain’t far from her office.”

“Thanks Tommy. Here’s the details,” Joel rummages around on his desk and produces a post it note covered in scribbles that would have Margy losing her shit if she saw it.

 “We gona get to meet this Maria any time soon?” you ask, giving Tommy a smirk.

“Actually, yeah,” he says rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the floor to hide his embarrassment, “was gona ask if it was ok to bring her by at the weekend, thought maybe we could fire up the grill, make a day of it.”

You squeal with excitement, “of course Tommy, we’d love that wouldn’t we Joel?”

Joel chuckles at your enthusiasm, “yeah we’d love to meet her Tommy.”

“Alright then, I’ll let her know.”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from telling Tommy how cute it is to see him so smitten and nervous about introducing his girlfriend to his family. He’d never been this serious about anyone in all the time you’d known him.

“Right, I’ll be off then, enjoy your lunch,” he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and makes a swift exit, you suspect it’s so as not to give Joel any opportunity to tease him. He’s out the door and in his truck within seconds.

You turn back to Joel and throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a deep kiss. He pulls you closer, one hand splaying across your lower back, the other settling once more on your bump. The kiss swiftly turns needy, tongues tangling together desperately as you moan into his mouth. He kisses you like he wants to devour you. And you want to let him.

“Somethin’ tells me this little visit ain’t about lunch,” he mumbles into your skin as he breaks from your lips and kisses down your jaw. “Someone need her greedy little pussy stuffed?”

You whimper as his hand slips down your back to grab at your ass and he sucks on the skin by your pulse point. He was right, your pussy was greedy, you wanted his cock, your raging hormones had made you ultra-horny and ultra-sensitive. But that wasn’t the only reason you were here.

“Actually, this is about lunch,” you tell him, pushing him back into his chair and with a little difficulty, straddling him. His hands come to rest gently on your hips as you pull the straps of your dress over your shoulders and push the top down under your breasts. He flicks his eyes up to yours as you reach around your back to unfasten your bra. His eyes drop as you shuck it and throw it behind you onto his messy desk.

“Thought you might be in need of a top up,” you tell him. He licks his lips, unable to tear his eyes from your exposed breasts and you feel him start to harden beneath you.

It had happened for the first time last night. While Joel was gently massaging your tender flesh to try and ease the ache that had settled there, the first little trickle of breast milk had flowed from your nipple. With a groan he’d licked the sweet nectar from your skin before sucking until his belly was full, pulling several orgasms from you in the process.

“That right?” he asks, gently cupping your breast and leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your pebbled bud, “my pretty girl wants to fill me up with her sweet milk?”

You nodded, whining and rocking your hips, grinding your throbbing core against his bulge.

 “Wanna sit on my cock baby? Hmm? Wanna keep my cock warm in that perfect little pussy while I suck on your pretty tits?”

“Oooohhhh, yes Joel, please!” you moan, rocking yourself faster against him.

“That’s it, good girl, gimme one like this and then I’ll fill you up while you fill me up.”

He pushes you down hard onto him and rolls his hips up underneath you. Your head tips back in ecstasy, hands clinging tightly to his flannel. You can hardly believe how good it feels just rubbing against him like this. But it had never taken long for Joel to push you over the edge even without the additional help of your hormones.

You choke on your moan as your orgasm hits you, you shudder and shake in his lap as the waves wash over you. He takes over, moving your hips forcibly with his big hands to extend out your high as long as possible.

He smiles as he takes you in, his hands leaving your hips to gently cup your face so he can look at you properly, glassy eyed and already fucked out, chest heaving with every panted breath of your come down, belly round and swollen and full of him. He almost comes in his pants just from the vision of you.

He pulls your head towards him, his lips slotting over yours and gives you the softest, sweetest kiss. His tongue gently invades your mouth, dancing slow and languid with yours. You melt into him as much as your protruding belly will allow.   

“My perfect, perfect girl. Still don’ understand how I got so lucky,” he murmurs against your lips before kissing you again, his hands slipping down to gently cup your breasts. He doesn’t squeeze or stroke them, just holds them, enjoying the weight of them in his hands and it has you whimpering with need, the feel of his hands on your body more than enough to get you amped up.

“We’ve been through this before,” you reply softly, resting your forehead against his, “think I must be the luckiest woman in the world to have you as my husband. I love you so much.”

“I love you too darlin’.”

You stay like that for a moment, just basking in being close to one another. Your head sinks to his shoulder and you feel so happy and so content you think you could fall asleep, forgetting momentarily that you’re not in the privacy of your own home. You’re sitting half naked in your husbands lap in his office. Knowing that someone could walk in at any time doesn’t fill you with the urgency you think it probably should.

One of his hands has made its way to the bare skin of your back and is idly drawing shapes on it. You sigh dreamily into him and he kisses your forehead before patting you firmly on the ass.

“C’mon baby, on your feet a minute, I ain’t done takin’ care of you yet.”

You smirk and climb off his lap. To say you had been insatiable recently was a gross understatement, but Joel was just as bad, if not worse. And he didn’t even have the hormone excuse. Knowing you drove him so crazy made your whole body tingle with delight. The feeling is only amplified when his hands slide under your dress and up your thighs, hooking in your panties and pulling them down and off your legs.

He pulls them up to his face and inhales deeply.

“Smell so fuckin’ good baby. And they’re fuckin’ soaked.” He takes another deep inhale and then opens the top drawer of his desk and throws them in.

“Joel!” you exclaim, mock scandalised.

“I need em’ baby, help keep me calm when everythin’s goin’ to shit here,” he tells you, not the least bit perturbed as he starts to undo his belt. The sound of it is like a siren call to you and you feel a wave of arousal start to leak out of you as it clanks. You swiftly forget about your stolen panties.

Your mouth waters as he frees his cock. It’s so fucking beautiful, you want to suck it like a lollipop. But the ache in your core is reaching fever pitch and you think that if you don’t have it inside you soon you might pass out with the need. Not to mention the fact that getting to and from your knees at the minute was a herculean task that you weren’t feeling up to right now.

Just then Joel’s belly gives a large rumble, sending you into a fit of giggles and you rush back into his lap. Joel chuckles along with you, your laugh always infectious to him, the joyful tinkling of it is one of his favourite sounds. Second only to the sound you make as you sink down on his cock. The moan that rips from your chest as you take him makes the blood rush out of his head. He doesn’t know where it’s going, his cock is already painfully hard, there’s no room for any more in there.

He watches with rapt attention as his cock disappears inside of you until the view is blocked by the perfect curve of your bump where his hands are resting. He lifts his eyes to your face, drinking in the way you look, already drunk on the pleasure of accepting him into your body. He preens. Full of pride that he makes you feel so good. That he keeps you satisfied, always desperate for more of him, even when you’re as full of him as you could possibly be. He can’t believe you’re real. That you’re his. It makes his heart skip a beat.

He feels your velvety walls envelope him, all the way to the root and he groans at how good it feels.

“There we go, good job baby,” he praises, curving around your belly to place a soft kiss right at the corner of your mouth, “so fuckin’ pretty when you’re all full like this.”

You whine at his words and your pussy clenches down on him, pulling another groan from him.

He kisses down your neck and over the swell of your breast, cupping and lifting it in his hand as his tongue swirls around your pebbled nipple. His hips buck up of their own accord at the little whimpers and squeaks you let out as the hot wet muscle teases the sensitive bud.

Then he latches and starts to suckle as he gently kneads your flesh. You feel your breast start to tingle as the milk starts to let down, flowing straight into his waiting mouth. Pangs of electricity shoot through your core, causing your pussy to clench and throb once more arousal leaking out of you and soaking his lap and balls.

You’re breathless in his lap despite sitting completely still, your heart races so fast you feel it might be about to beat out of your chest. The sound of your soft moans and breathless panting mingle with smacking and slurping of Joel sucking at your breast. Your hips start to roll, your desperately full pussy yearning for him to move inside you.

He smacks your ass and you still immediately with a little whine. He doesn’t stop, but he looks up at you and you can see the smirk in his eyes, you huff a laugh at him and bring your hands up to rake through his hair. He moans into your tit and you shudder as the vibrations race through your flesh. He grazes your nipple with his teeth and it breaks you, you wail as your orgasm hits you hard.

He lets go of your nipple with a wet pop and leans back in his chair as he feels your pussy pulsating around him. He looks absolutely wrecked, pupils blown so wide they’re engulfing almost all of the beautiful chocolate brown that first drew you in to him. His hair is mussed from your hands, sticking up in all different directions and there are dribbles of milk dampening his beard and chin.

With a growl he leans back in and licks up the errant trickles of milk from your breast before kissing his way across your chest and licking around your other nipple.

“Again.” He commands as he latches to the nipple and starts to suck once more. He brings his free hand down between you to find your little bundle of nerves and you almost twitch out of his lap when he makes contact, so sensitive after two orgasms. But Joel has tight hold of you and pulls you back down fully on his cock, not letting up from his ministrations.

You yelp and sag into him, pushing more of your tit into his mouth and he moans into the plump flesh once more, pushing you higher and higher with each circle of his thumb and every pull at your nipple. You want to ride his fucking brains out but you feel so boneless you’re not sure you have control over your body anymore.

So you surrender to it. To him. He can do whatever he likes with you. Not that you’re complaining. As always, Joel makes your body feel things you hadn’t known were possible before you met him. You almost feel bad for other women that they don’t get to experience him. Almost.

When he pushes down harder on your clit and sucks hard, you lose it. Your body burns with the intensity of the orgasm he just pulled out of you. Goosebumps race across your flesh as every nerve ending in ignited with pleasure.

“Jooooooeeeeeeelll!” you cry, descending into indecipherable babble as your hips begin to move with a mind of their own, rocking backwards and forwards on him, feeling him shift deep within you with each movement. He doesn’t stop it this time, lets you rock on him gently for a minute while you ride out your high before he starts fucking up into you, his mouth detaching once more as he reclines in his seat to watch you bounce and recoil on him.

He rails you hard and fast, just like you wanted, thrusting from below. All you can do is squeal and hold on tight, grabbing handful’s of his flannel to anchor you to him. It’s fucking transcendent. All the while he’s spouting filth now his mouth is free.

“Tha’s it baby, you just hold on tight and enjoy the ride. You love this fuckin’ cock don’ you? Can’t even make it through the day without needin’ to feel him splittin’ you open. Well guess what baby, my cock loves your fuckin’ pussy too, won’t ever get enough of her.”

You don’t respond. You can’t, all sense has fled your brain, you’re no longer a full grown woman capable of intelligent thought and conversation. You’re a roiling mass of sensations, reduced down to a vessel of pure pleasure. And Joel fucking loves it.

“That’s my girl, all fuckin’ cock dumb for me,” he drawls, “c’mon baby, I know it feels good, gimme one more.”

He leans forward and sucks your tit back into his mouth and that beautiful tingling feeling on top of everything else pushes you over the edge once more. Your body seizes so tight before everything relaxes in euphoria. Joel slows his pace, less frantic but still deep and powerful. And he keeps on gulping mouthfuls of your milk.

You moan long and low as you come down again. You’re completely frazzled. Joel holds you tight as he chases his own high, much more gently than he pushed you to yours. A wave of gratitude and love pours over you. He always knows what you need, always puts you first.

He takes one long last pull at your breast before pulling off and before you know what’s happening he’s guiding your mouth to his, spitting your milk onto your waiting tongue. You moan and swallow, the sweetness coating your mouth.

“You see how delicious you are? Every fuckin’ inch of you,” he moans as he continues to thrust into you, gaining speed once more, the wet slapping sounds of skin against skin almost unbearably loud. He leans in and licks the milk dripping from your breast.

“This sweet fuckin’ milk.” He leans in again and licks up your neck, “this delectable fuckin’ skin.” He shoves his tongue in your mouth, pushing harshly against yours before retreating, “this tasty little mouth.” He leans back in his chair and brings his now soaked thumb from your clit to his mouth, “this fuckin’ scrumptious pussy. Wanna eat you all up baby. Oh Jesus baby, fuck!”

He comes and so do you. Again. His big cock, dirty words and hot cum spraying against your walls too much to fight against. You practically scream, the pleasure now bordering on pain. Before you can stop it, you start to sob, so overwhelmed and hormonal, your body just doesn’t know what to do with itself.

Joel starts to panic immediately.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, didn’t meant get carried away, I –!”

You silence him with your mouth. You kiss him as hard as you can, still sobbing, but now at the thought that you’ve upset and worried him. He’s so shocked and confused he freezes for a second before you feel his arms wrap around you, feel him kissing you back. Now that you know he’s got the picture you aren’t mad at him you break away from his lips.

“D-d-don’t a-apologise, was a-amazing,” you sniffle, “I’m s-s-sorry I’m such a mess.”

“Hey!” he admonishes you sternly, cupping your face and making you look at him, “I don’t want to hear that. I’m not gona stand for anyone dissin’ my girl and that includes you ok?”

You manage a teary chuckle and nod your head, he relaxes and pulls you into him, turning your torso slightly so you can get closer to him like he knows you like.

“All them hormones got your body and your brain on overdrive, that’s all. S’ok, I’m here, I’ll take care of you.”

You snuggle into him, feeling so safe wrapped up his arms. He holds you until you’ve fully calmed down, then lifts you off his cock with a hiss and helps you get redressed. He then insists that you eat the lunch you prepared. He only picks at his, belly already full and satiated but makes sure you eat and drink plenty of water.

You’re just heading out of the office when Tommy returns from his lunch. He takes one look at the pair of you before burying his head in his hands like he’s been burned.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, can’t you two keep it in your pants for a few hours?”

Your eyes snap to Joel and you realise with a jolt how dishevelled he looks, hair sticking up in all directions, shirt crumpled from your hands and stained with your milk, a distinct wet patch on the crotch of his jeans and by the way he’s looking at you, you realise you mustn’t be faring much better. There’s absolutely no denying what you two have been up to. You catch each others eyes and immediately start laughing.

Tommy heaves a long suffering sigh before turning and walking out of the office, muttering to himself, “fuckin’ in the office like a pair of horny fuckin’ teenagers.”

Once you’ve managed to stop laughing (and after a quick pee stop necessitated by the laughing), he’s about to walk you to your car when his phone rings, you dismiss him to answer it with a kiss and a “see you at home,” and head out of the building.

When Tommy sees you, he stops unloading the wood from his truck to help you to your car.

“You know Margy would have your hide if she found out what you two were getting’ up to in there,” he tells you.

You swallow a laugh and with as straight a face as you can manage you tell him, “you said you wanted me to cheer him up, well, mission accomplished.” He finally breaks and chuckles at you, rolling his eyes as he helps you into the drivers seat.

Tagging some people who may be interested, no pressure to read though, let me know if you want to be removed.

@aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @old-logan-and-old-joels-slut @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @axshadows @justajoelsreader @magpiepills @deviscave @pedrosgrogu @pedge-page @guelyury @lamartell @thedilfdiaries @pedrosyouknowwhat @guelyury @mystickittytaco @fanficlover1414 @itwasntimethatdidit40 @itsokbbygrlbutworsethistime @arcanefox207

[quitealotofsodapop]

Posting something silly before getting into some deeper AU stuff! >:3

Naming Ref.

"Six Monkie Kids" idea got away from me and I made this monstrosity:

Here's details of the boys going left to right!

Xiaotian/"MK":

The Eldest? No one is really sure tbh, but he takes responsibility like he is.

Just as obsessed with stories of the Monkey King. Tang used to read Journey to West, and other traditional stories to the kids to send them off to sleep - MK always tried the hardest to stay awake.

Though all the brothers can carry Ruyi Jingu Bang - only MK can wield and command it. They chalk it up to the Staff recognising birth (hatching) order.

The ADHD still kicking his butt.

Has a small crisis of identity related to being 1 of 6 brothers. Loves art, cooking, music like in canon, but isn't sure if he'd ever be able to persue his passions professionally.

Still self-sacrificing to a detrimental degree!

Has a half/heart shaped face marking like certain monkey demons.

Xǐ Qìng/"Porty":

Works as a DJ/host for a local anti-gravity bar, and does freelance gigs on the side.

Practically nocturnal. You ain't seeing this boy up at 8am for nothing.

Baby Porty had no sleep cycle At All. He was the baby who was jumping on the bed at 4am. Tang eventually found a work-around by sticking on a compilation of music videos for the kids to rock out to before bedtime (my parents did the same to us with a Gloria Estafan vhs).

Covered in piercings and a few tattoos. First time he got either of them was without permission. Pigsy nearly exploded on Porty when he found out about it - not just for getting a body mod without permission, but for not cleaning it correctly! This old rockstar raised you better!

Has an embarassing nickname for everyone. Half of his bros got their nicknames from him.

Facial marking has a spiky pattern.

Xìn Shǐ/"Delivery":

Happily eats his brother's + customer's leftovers if no one catches him. Is violently against food waste.

Is the most diligent worker of the family; hence his nickname. Hopes to take over the restaurant someday or open a second location.

Has inherited many physical habits from dear Dadsy. Instinctively reaches for the wooden spoon when angry/threatened.

The tallest of his siblings! Chalks it up to his appetitie.

Openly worries the most out of all of his siblings.

Indentified by his face marking having darker "blush stickers" on his cheeks.

Zhèn Jìng/ "Apathy" & "Backup":

Works as a busboy/cashier for Pigsy's. Isn't sure if he wants to be anything else.

Extreme Middle Child Syndrome.

Has Resting B_tch Face. Will ignore anyone telling him to smile.

Is a bit of an otaku. Whereas MK loves the literary Monkey King, Apathy loves him some Son Goku anime. Prized possession is a Dragon Ball noodle bowl he won in a giveaway.

When he's not working, he's online playing video games and chatting to his discord friends. Often has to be reminded to stretch his legs and eat.

Is the brother most often mistaken for MK; only physical difference is that his face marking is inverted.

Jié Zuò/"Artist" & "Arty":

Freelance artist. Works on commission mostly for local businesses needing their buildings touched up and/or new logo designs. Sold exactly one original painting in his entire life, and is still convinced that he wasn't finished.

Inherited his sense of perfectionism from Pigsy.

ANGER ISSUES. Has been working on mangement therapy with Sandy.

As a cub, every wall of the restuarant and the apartment was covered in his drawings. Pigsy agreed to stop washing them off as long as Arty kept to a theme. There's still crayon drawings of noodle ingredients on a wall of Pigsy's 15+ years later.

Face marking is a rounded butterfly, though it has white splotches from vitiligo.

Mòzhī/"Inky":

Working on a degree in Psychology, with a particular interest in the function of memories.

Biggest. Gossip. Ever!! Has the tea on everyone.

Has a pretty big friend group from college that he hangs out with. He's a little embarassed that he's the son of a noodle-maker and a "professional book nerd", since a few of his friends come from affluent backgrounds.

Might initially be a pile of ink from the Scroll of Memory that was used to make a baby monkey. (Nüwa was running low on materials).

Most visually distinct baby! Has black fur opposed to dark-brown. Face marking is "raccoon eyes"-shaped.

Bonus:

First time Pigsy found the boys, he thought he was being pranked or was dreaming. Who's kids are these?! Why are they all muddy? Sweet Guanyin, how is he gonna find clothes for all of them?! Eventually he calmed the babies all down (most were crying), and gave them their first ever baths and bowls of noodles. The resulting call to Tang was... eventful to say the least.

Pigsy got advice from his grandmother, and his other relatives, about how to wrangle so many piglets at once. Pigs do have large litters after all!

Pigsy and Tang got legally married when the boys were young, mostly so they could pool finances. Six little piglets aren't cheap!

Wukong treats MK's brother like his little monkeys. Since he's only the eldest brother's mentor, he's able to let his guard down more around them, albeit awkwardly.

Each brother had differing reactions to meeting the Monkey King; from anger, amazement, to indifference. Selfies were taken.

A number of characters initially think MK is using his duplication power when they meet his brothers for the first time. Red Son attempted vengence on the other 5 before he learned that they were all different Noodle Boys!

Since they are all still creations of Nuwa, at least two or three take after her as lil half-snake/naga demons! Delivery I feel has an unhinged jaw, while a few of the boys have slited pupils. MK is still the most monkey of the boys tho!

[joaosnovia]

❦ - el mar, el sol y mi corazón

summary:: a day at the beach w your man (up to you if you’re married or not) and your little son as he tries to teach him how to use a kite. (i tried to make chat gpt summarise the fic for me but they ended up calling gavi a dilf?? bros 20)

warnings:: none!

writers note:: this is shorter than it should be mainly bc it was supposed to be a joao fic but i have sum else for him. ALSO GUYS GIVE ME REQ MY BRAIN ISNT FUNCTIONING RN.

tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp @cherryloveshs ; lmk if u wanna be added!

gavi had always loved the beach, the salty breeze, the sound of waves crashing, the warmth of the sun on his skin. but today, it wasn’t just the ocean drawing his attention; it was the sight of your son sprinting across the sand, his tiny feet kicking up clouds of grains as he chased after a colorful kite.

'papá, look!' your son called, holding up the string as the kite wobbled in the sky.

gavi grinned, jogging over to help. 'hold it steady, campeón. like this.' he crouched down, guiding his son’s small hands. together, they managed to get the kite soaring higher, both of them laughing when the wind tugged it wildly.

you watched from a beach towel, sunglasses perched on your nose and a smile tugging at your lips. seeing gavi like this, barefoot in the sand, hair tousled, eyes crinkled with joy, was something you’d never get tired of. he looked up and caught your gaze, flashing you that grin that always made your heart flip.

'hey!' he called. 'you coming or just gonna admire me from there?'

'bit of both,' you shot back with a smirk, standing to shake off the sand before joining them.

after a while, your son abandoned the kite in favor of the ocean. gavi chased after him, scooping him up just before a wave could crash into his legs. 'too fast for me, huh?' he teased, spinning him around as your son squealed with delight.

'papá, again! again!'

'third time’s the charm,' gavi grinned, twirling him once more before gently setting him down. your son ran back toward the water, kicking at the incoming waves, tiny giggles echoing over the beach.

'he’s got your energy,' you commented, slipping an arm around gavi’s waist.

'yeah, but i don’t remember being that fast at his age,' gavi chuckled, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

after splashing around until your son’s shorts were soaked and his curls clung to his forehead, you coaxed him back to the sand with the promise of snacks. he plopped down on the towel beside you, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. 'best day ever,' he declared between bites of his sandwich.

gavi ruffled his hair. 'glad you’re having fun, campeón.'

after eating, the three of you set out to build a sandcastle. your son insisted it had to have "four towers and a moat," which turned into an ambitious (and messy) endeavor. gavi got way too competitive, carefully smoothing out the castle walls, tongue poking out in concentration.

'you do know it’s just for fun, right?' you teased.

'hey, if we’re building a castle, we’re making it the best one on this beach,' gavi shot back, flicking a bit of sand at you playfully.

your son cackled. 'get mamá!'

gavi grinned devilishly. 'you heard him.' before you could protest, both of them teamed up, tossing handfuls of sand (mostly missing but making you laugh until your sides hurt).

when everyone was sufficiently sandy and the "biggest castle ever" stood proudly (if a little crooked), you lay back on the towel, sighing contentedly. gavi dropped beside you, pulling your son into the space between you both.

'tired yet?' gavi asked, brushing hair from your son’s forehead.

'nooo,' he mumbled, though his eyes betrayed him, drooping with exhaustion.

'liar,' you chuckled.

as the sun began to sink lower, painting the sky in hues of gold and pink, your son fell asleep nestled against gavi’s chest, tiny fingers still clutching a stray seashell. gavi’s hand traced slow circles on his back, eyes soft.

'he’ll sleep all the way home,' you murmured.

'good. means we can blast music without him demanding his cartoons,' gavi joked, but his voice was gentle, gaze fixed on your son’s peaceful face.

you rested your head on gavi’s shoulder, your hand finding his. 'days like this...' you sighed. 'they’re the best.'

'yeah,' gavi agreed, squeezing your hand. 'nothing better.'

as the waves rolled in and the sky deepened into twilight, the three of you stayed there a little longer, sun-kissed, sand-covered, hearts full.

[teyvatairconditioningco]

Part 2 of me screaming my head off

SPOILERS FOR 2.5

JINGYUAN IS RACIST, MORE AT 10

No but he's one of my favorite characters and one of the reasons is explicitly said BY HIM, when you live for hundreds of years, sometimes you're going to be a real piece of shit and if you're functionally immortal, you HAVE to grow and you HAVE to deal with the shitty person you've been.

Look I know they go hard with waifus for the paycheck but god damn they went hard with Feixiao and I love them for it. I fucking adore her. You can see her backstop coming, but who fucking cares. And "I never want to see this shit again" (paraphrasing) is great.

Hoolay was so fucking good. "Yeees, you brought me back from my 700 year imprisonment!!...... wait what the fuck do you mean you're so weak you had to bring back a 700 year old prisoner" Yes he was undeniably evil, but he still had his own primal "code" and I just think he was very well done (for someone who existed in 2 patches) okay

THIS was phenomenal. THIS fight kicked the SHIT out of me.

Oh Jiaoqiu. Oh, my darling. I got spoiled on this beforehand and I've never put my phone down so quickly. For like a split second earlier I was like NO. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF??? Sacrificing your vision is rough but I'm so glad he's alive. And I haven't seen anyone else mention this but he must have gotten a chunk taken out of him and drained of blood??? Like Hoolay was poisoned because he ATE part of him. Bro got CANNIBALIZED.

ANYWAY

Luocha has been carrying around Tayzzronth?? Or a fragment of them??

YOOOOOOOOOO THE DELIVERY OF THIS IN ENG WAS FUCKING GREAT.

I'M SO FUCKING HYPED TO SEE TINGYUN 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Although if Sunday is coming in that patch... sorry babes, I'll have to get you on the rerun.

[luvknow]

after her | yang jeongin

summary: a lonely yang jeongin, fresh from a break-up, finds what it means to be happy again while living with his best friend in the big city. you fall victim to his signs of affections, struggling to define if he’s emptying what’s leftover from his relationship or if they’re truly meant for you. you’d live through the endless heartache if it meant he would smile again. characters: female reader x yang jeongin & stray kids ensemble. genre: romance, friends-to-lovers, hurt with comfort, happy ending. additional warnings: alcohol consumption, university party, some mature dialogue and situations, song lyrics. wc: 11.2k

Jeongin placed the last of his boxes in the living room of his new place you two shared. While you were away at work, he employed an off-duty Minho and Jisung with promises of pizza and beer as payment.

A low whistle escaped Jisung’s lips as his eyes scanned the condo. “Pretty decent for the price in the middle of the city.”

Jeongin wiped the sweat off his brows. “It helps that _____ is a functioning adult.”

“You’ll get there in a couple of months,” Minho patted his head. “Relax while you can before your job starts. The adult world is not kind.”

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

Jisung shrugged. “Find a hobby. Adopt a pet. Read a book. Don’t worry about anything! What more can a bachelor want?”

“Go to the club, hop on a dating app,” Minho suggested before Jisung hit him.

The first box Jeongin opened was one he wasn’t supposed to. On top, it wasn’t labeled, but on the side in big bold letters was, ‘TRASH. BURN. DONATE. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT OPEN!!!!!’ On the top layer of stuff was a framed picture of him and his ex-girlfriend under the cherry blossom trees, her eyes curled like sparkling moon crescents and him looking at her like she was his whole world. Beneath were various memorabilia from blind box trinkets to old sweaters of his that still smelled like her perfume. As his heart cracked a bit more, he flopped on the couch face-first, groaning muffled by your decorative pillows.

Minho hit Jisung back. “I told you not to bring that one in!”

“He took it from me before I knew what box it was!”

The two were left unloading the Rent-a-Truck alone as their youngest friend tried to not let too many tears ruin the fabric of the couch. They’d give him a pass this time, but the next warranted multiple rounds of drinks. Jeongin’s energy bled from his body and was absorbed into the cushions, gluing his cheek down until a permanent imprint of the weaved fabric formed on his skin. His eyes stared blankly at the door after his personal mover-bros left and until you walked in, home from a long day of work. A total of six hours where he didn’t move, barely breathing, hoping evolution would kick in and he’d be able to live his life photosynthesizing.

You smiled sympathetically at the damage before you; a pile of boxes, untouched take-out, and an unmoving boy with redness around his eyes that stared off into nothingness.

“Hey, bud,” you began awkwardly. “How’re ya doin’?”

You received a lazy groan in response. He turned over to face the back of the couch, unwilling to elaborate further.

Jeongin called you last Sunday at 2:13 AM. Your first feeling was irritated, as he had better be in some deep shit to be waking you up at this hour on a work night. What you got was worse. Way worse. In a fit of tired, breathless, chest-squeezing sobs and snot-filled sniffles, Jeongin confessed that his girlfriend of just over a year had broken up with him. It was a shitty time to do so, as he was in the middle of signing for a lease after she begged him to move to the city to be closer to her. Luckily, the leasing agency was sympathetic and he went forward with canceling the signing.

The conversation that led him here in your home occurred after he was able to breathe through his tears, wondering what he was supposed to do with his new job contract, and it went like this:

“You’re already mentally prepared to move to the city. Why not do it anyway?”

“What’s the point?” he had asked with a voice so tired of crying. “There’s no reason for me to be there anymore.”

“I’m here,” you replied, offended. “You get to hang out with the most important person in your entire life -”

“By default.”

“I’m going to give you a pass on that because you’re hurting, but you called me, remember?” you had scoffed. “The city will be good for you. Better food, better drinks, things to do, people to meet. Things to distract you, y’know?”

“I can’t do this alone.” There was a long pause before the sniffling and sobs filled the silence on the other end. “If I live alone, I might never leave my apartment.”

Without hesitation, you had said, “Come live with me.”

“What?”

“Yeah! Come live here with me! We’ll turn my office into your bedroom, and voila; casa de _____ and Jeongin.”

“I can’t do that to you. You worked so hard for that place to be your haven.”

“You are my haven,” you had emphasized. “Let me be yours, too.”

A short chuckle on his end. “Cornball.”

Progress was far from linear and the hardest point was ascending from zero. Jeongin was in the negatives. Probably because he had opened a box full of outdated signs of love he and Sieun had given each other the past year and two months. Your face wrinkled in disgust at the sight of her glowing face in a heart-shaped frame. And Jeongin had called you the cornball… Maybe you were a certified hater, but you had to get rid of this box of trash now.

When you bent to pick it up, he gripped your wrist and stopped you.

“Don’t,” he muffled into the pillows.

“Keeping this isn’t good for you.”

“Neither will throwing it away.”

“How about we compromise,” you sighed. “Let’s store it in my closet until you’re ready to toss it. Out of sight, out of mind.”

His answer was letting go of you and allowing you to touch the most tender parts of his heart to store away in your dark, cold, lifeless but stylish closet for it to wither away. You didn’t want any parts of her near your room at all, but you kept muttering, ‘This is for Jeongin. This is for him because you love him, for some reason,’ as a reminder.

You’d repeat that reminder maybe ten times a day for the past week for stupid shit like him not washing his dishes, not putting the toilet seat down, drinking all your specialty alcoholic beverages you liked to save for after-work woes, but what pushed you over the edge was the empty stash of your favorite snack.

“Ok, I’m done!” you yelled. After a long day of Teams meetings and smiling at sleazy men twice your age, all you wanted was a little treat! A little snack! But when you opened your pantry, you were left with an empty box. He couldn’t even throw the damn box away!

You opened the door to his room where he sat in his gaming chair, yelling at his bros on Discord. He paid no mind to the noise, since his gaudy headphones blocked everything and likely bruised his eardrums. So when he couldn’t hear you calling his name, you went up to the microphone.

“Sorry, boys, Jeongin has some chores to do!” You heard a muffle of ‘boos’ from Chan and Felix on the other end before unplugging his set-up.

“What the hell, _____! That was a ranked game!” he whined.

“You!” you seethed, grabbing the remnants of your snack bags before chucking the empty box at his face. “You gluttonous squirrel-faced stupid, stupid boy!”

“Ooh, yikes. I know that tone.”

“You couldn’t bother texting me that we were out?!”

“They’re just snacks, we can buy more.”

“We, who!? Who’s paying the mortgage here? Who’s the one with an actual job at the moment?!”

“I start next month, ok?! And you agreed to a prorated rent because of that!”

“Being jobless doesn’t give you the right to live in my home like a slob! There are responsibilities for adulthood! There are chores and rules for living under my roof!”

Jeongin had this stupid face he’d put on to get whatever he wanted. It worked with Sieun, and sadly worked for you, too. He wheeled himself over on his new four hundred dollar chair (“For ergonomics!” he had argued) and pulled you in between his legs. His arms wrapped around the back of your thighs and his chin rested on your stomach. The stupid, adorable, troublemaker face was up-turned brows, pouting lips, and eyes that twinkled from the lighting above.

“I’m sorry,” he began. “It just… feels nice to be taken care of right now.”

Ugh. Maybe you were being too harsh. A week’s worth of annoyance was nothing compared to a week’s worth of trying to glue back pieces of his heart together when they kept falling apart. Or maybe that was the spell he put you under with his dreamy eyes talking. You couldn’t think straight with your constricting office wear on.

You kissed your teeth. Your hand grabbed a chunk of his curly brown mop of hair and pushed him off of you. “You stink. Shower and get ready; you’re buying me new snacks at the grocery store.”

“But I don’t need to go grocery shopping.”

“You have one pack of instant ramen left; yes, you do.”

–

One of your first memories with Jeongin was the day before you both started secondary school. The last day of summer was spent under the stars on a trampoline in his backyard with empty cans of cola scattered out on the grass. Your heads touched while bodies were oriented in the opposite direction, semi-Spiderman style.

You were the first to voice what you feared most. “Do you think things are going to change?”

He shook his head adamantly. “Never.”

“Nothing is ever non-zero.”

“Must you nerdify everything?”

“It’s not on purpose. I can’t help it.”

“Except you could.” Jeongin sighed, whether out of disappointment or enjoying the feeling of the cool night air, you had long forgotten. His black, too-short-for-a-bowl-cut pin-straight hair poked your ears whenever he turned and knocked his head against yours.

“Ow,” you whined. “What?”

He pointed to the sky. “See that?”

“Stars.”

“Do you recognize the constellation, smartass?” Astronomy wasn’t your strong suit. “Scorpio and Lupus.”

You shrugged. “Who do you think would win in a fight: ten scorpions or one wolf?”

“That’s not the point of my question,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But the correct answer is ten scorpions.”

“What’s the point, then? Of anything, really?”

He pointed to the sky again. “Things will change only when the stars do.”

“Apocalypse-style?”

“Exactly. When they do, it’ll be the end of the world.”

You giggled, tilting your head closer to his. “Cornball.”

“What is a cornball, anyways? Like, a chicken nugget made of corn?”

“Genetically-modified corn in the shape of a ball.”

At thirteen, you both thought these conversations made you comedic, thought-provoking geniuses. They were typical teenage nonsensical word-smithing that’d later evolve into witty adult assholery, but they were ones you’d cherish ‘til the end of time.

“Never change, _____ _____.”

“You, too, Yang Jeongin.”

Tonight, the night sky was as clear as the night before secondary school. It’s been a couple of weeks since Jeongin moved in and progress was there, but it was slow. Some days, he’d spend all day in bed under the covers and you’d have to force-feed him sustenance and flip him over to prevent bed sores. Some days he spent the entire day deep cleaning the tile grout with a toothbrush until his knees were purple. The worst nights were like tonight, where you’d come home to an empty bottle of some mystery brown liquor you didn’t remember purchasing and him passed out on the couch.

It was exhausting for this short amount of time. It was a rollercoaster of emotions and outbursts and constantly having to take his phone away from doing something stupid like calling or texting her. This wasn’t the Jeongin you were used to; you wanted the one who sang tunes and trot jingles, the one who burned mac ‘n cheese on accident, the one who’d wave to little kids when you were out together. The unmoving body was just a shell of him, and just as he struggled putting the pieces of himself back together, you struggled holding the ones he was able to find in place.

You lifted his head by his curls and plopped it back on your lap after taking a seat.

“Careful,” he groaned. “There’s precious real estate up here.”

You didn’t speak, distracting yourself by playing with his hair. His eyes were bloodshot and cheeks stained with drool and salty tears. Sniffles filled the silence.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, words a bit slurred. “I don’t like when you’re quiet.”

“Ask yourself that question,” you replied, mouth full of salt.

“You’re mad at me.”

“I care about you.”

“You’re mad because you care,” he nodded, understanding, or at least pretending to. “I care about you, too.”

Caring wasn’t enough. No amount of love and tenderness from you could replace the one Sieun gave him, and that was evident. How were you supposed to hold him together when she was his reason? You could only do so much, and your best was never enough.

He pointed to the ceiling. “Do you think Scorpio and Lupus are out tonight?”

“It’s cloudy.”

“Oh. Is it?” he sighed. “But they’re still there?”

“They’ll always be there.”

“Together?”

“Together. Forever, of course.”

“How do you know that?”

Was he asking with underlying intention or drunken oblivion? “I just do.”

Jeongin snorted. “Boooo.”

“Boo, you!”

“Ugh, stop moving!” His lips pursed as he rolled off of you. “Nope. I need to throw up.”

You followed him as he crawled into the bathroom, hunching over his toilet bowl. You held his hair back for a bit before realizing you could tie it back.

“It’s so long now,” you admired while tying back his front pieces.

“Sieun hated it,” the toilet echoed.

“I liked it. Very ‘bad boy’. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Yeah. She’s stupid, right?”

“So stupid.”

“Yeah! And so bossy!” He paused, gagging into the toilet. “Bossier than you! Can you believe that’s possible?!”

“I’m not bossy, I just know what I like when I like it and how I like it,” you patted his back a little too harshly this time, “nothing bossy about that.”

“And it’s a wonder why you’re single.”

A sharp pang pierced your chest. Your relationship status was a touchy subject. It’s not that you preferred to be single, but your job was mentally demanding and sometimes required long hours past sunset. It wouldn’t be fair to your partner when your life was devoted to your career and climbing the corporate ladder. Dates were few, and not too far in between, but none of the prospects were worth the trouble when half of them expected you to pay the whole bill when they found out your occupation.

You loved love. It was beautiful, it was kind, it meant always feeling whole. Of course you wanted to be in love. Of course you wanted to touch, to kiss, to always be intertwined with someone. Life was young, and there was time, but the shroud of loneliness grew longer and larger as the days passed. Suffice to say, your single status hit a nerve.

You patted his back hard enough for him to gag one last time. “Good luck not puking your guts out.”

“No, wait -” but you had already shut the door.

It was the kind of topic that elicited a long, hot, reflective shower until the water ran cold. Were you one of those working women who were doomed by capitalism to serve as a corporate slave until you could withdraw from your 401k at fifty nine and a half? To live a mediocre life and settle down with a five-rated coworker for the sake of reproduction and contributing to lowering the birthrate? To settle for the mundane and predictable? That wasn’t the _____ you knew. At the peak of your young life, when did owning your first place meant that it was the beginning of the end?

When you walked out of the steam cloud, Jeongin was buried beneath your duvet, staring at the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the tired, but still awake city. When he first moved in, he mentioned how jealous he was of your nice bedsheets, and you wondered, in that moment, how many times had he napped in your bed without you knowing. Annoyed, but willing, you crawled in behind him, too tired to argue.

He wiggled back, making sure your bodies touched, though he wanted to keep looking out. “Being single isn’t bad… right?”

Was it bad? No. “I like my alone time.”

“But isn’t it lonely?”

It’s never ending. “Only a little.”

“Even when I’m here?”

Especially now, more than ever. “Just a little.”

“What’s your metric of ‘little’?”

Astronomical. “Like a pinch of salt.”

His breathing slowed, body ready to shut down for the night and hopefully awaken before noon. He wrapped your arms around him, begging for a hug, a bit of human connection, something to satiate the pain of wanting to feel whole with someone again. When you gave in, he melted into your touch. This feeling was familiar, but it wasn’t the same. You would never be her.

Just when you thought he fell asleep, you felt his chest jitter, suppressing a mouthful of sobs.

“I hate this,” he said, voice cracking, hands gripping your blankets while you played the big spoon.

You could only nod into the crevice between his wingspan. “I know.”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Sometimes, there’s a reason; sometimes, there isn’t.”

“Then, what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” you confirmed and squeezed him tighter. “People fall out of love all the time.”

“Isn’t that fucking terrifying?” he sobbed. “One day, you’re flying, high on life with someone you thought could make forever feel like a day. Next, they tell you they don’t love you anymore.”

“Love is complicated.”

“But it isn’t! When you know, you know. It just isn’t as complicated as many people make it seem. So, what? She knew she didn’t love me anymore? That’s it?”

Complicated isn’t only when someone who once lit up your life now felt like their own fire within fizzled in the darkness. It wasn’t waking up one morning and deciding that they stopped loving you. Complexity was built with intention and time, overthinking and self-reflection. It’s as complicated as math; despite the many ways you could achieve an answer, there was only one answer. Sieun wasn’t a bad person; in fact, you liked her for the time they dated. You figured despite all her might and the many times she tried, she couldn’t force herself to love him anymore. It’s not like she woke up one morning and thought, ‘I don’t love him anymore.’ It’s never just, ‘that’s it,’ as Jeongin claimed its simplicity.

Complicated is spending every moment of free time with someone who knew the deepest parts of you without letting the romantic feelings slip through the cracks. It was intending to confess and ruin a decade’s worth of bonds, all for it to stay hidden with your many secrets when he admitted to finally asking out the cute girl he met through a mutual friend of Jisung. It was saying, ‘I love you,’ to end a phone call while suppressing the ache in your chest as he’d say it to someone else the same evening.

To Jeongin, it was just that. Love. How could one make it so difficult? But to you, there were layers, and someone had to peel them back before you revealed the true nature of your heart. Because after this, after Jeongin was healed and you were left with no one to hold you together the way you had for him, you’d have grown an infinite number of layers to protect yourself. Your future partner would have a lot of work to do.

“Love is an organism. Organisms are complex. It comes in different forms and has different functions. When I say, ‘I love you,’ you think I mean, ‘I care for you,’ right?”

Jeongin didn’t answer. Verbally, at least. His leveled breathing and rhythmic chest rises told you he was fast asleep in a drunken stupor while you had contemplated your answer.

“Yes,” you sighed, snuggling closer, “you do.”

–

Most psychologists would agree that the stages of grief had an order to them. Jeongin, PhD in grief, would say otherwise. In the span of a single day, he’d go between as many as three of the stages. Lately, it was a cocktail of denial, depression, and anger. Today, there was only anger. The drawers would be shut a little too loudly, he’d chew his food a little too aggressively, and his volume and colorful language on Discord closely resembled a sailor.

“Where’s the damn support?!” he screamed into the mic.

“You said you’d be in Zone A!” you heard Jisung yell through his headset.

Jeongin didn’t bother with a response and hung up the call. After whipping his headset on his bed with the strength of a baseball pitcher, he ran a hand through his tangled mop and swore under his breath.

You leaned on his door frame. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up,” he whined.

“You know what would make you feel better?” You drew a rectangle with your pointer fingers, then wiggled the rest in a wave of flames. Then, boom! Big boom!

“No.”

“Jeongin -”

“You said I could wait until I was ready.”

“I think you need to be ready now.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore about that stupid box in your stupid closet with all the stupid fucking shit in it!”

If there was one act you wouldn’t tolerate from anyone, even with a bond thicker than blood, it was raising their voice. You had barely lifted your hand to point an accusing finger at him the same way his mom would, when he shut his eyes and realized his grave mistake. He knew he fucked up when your eyebrows were raised in that, ‘what did you just say to me?’ manner. He was also regretting how much time you spent with his mom.

“... Maybe we should take the box out,” he muttered.

“Yeah, no shit. Grab the hammers.”

Two adult-sized adult-aged children in hoodies carrying a mysteriously heavy box and a couple of hammers at a public park past sunset was not one would describe as inconspicuous. Jeongin was far from ready to address the box, you realized, when you were forced to carry it all the way and he refused to look at it. Even when you prepared the garbage bag and shuffled through the contents, he avoided any sight of strawberry blond hair and scents of neroli and jasmine. Semi-slicked with sweat, you took the box to the top of the jungle gym and dragged the big baby up to meet it.

“You left the trash bag down there,” he noted.

You nodded. “Grab that picture frame.” The first one was the red one shaped like a heart. You tilted your chin overboard. “Slam it.”

“Like, on the ground?”

“Yup.”

“That’s not very nice... Why can’t we just throw it?”

“Because I can’t be sure you won’t dig through the dumpster and drag filth across my floors.”

“Who do you think I am?!”

“Break it with all your might!”  you demanded, pretending to be angry and Hulk-smashing on the stable platform. “Rah! Into the trash bag, though, please.”

“She gave this to me on our two-month-iversary. She said it was a symbol of her heart,” he reflected, gentle fingers wiping the dust that collected.

“And what did she do to yours?”

“Break it.”

“She stomped on it.”

“Yeah…”

“Crushed it!”

“Yeah…!”

“Stabbed it with a blunt butter knife!”

“Yeah!”

“And did it hurt?!”

“Like a bitch!”

“Rue the day!!”

“Rue the roux!!”

Someone’s hungry. “Yeah, sure!”

With a guttural scream passionate enough to elicit goosebumps, Jeongin chucked the heart frame into the trash bag that splayed on the cement. The plexiglass shattered into big chunks and the frame split in two, shards of wood scattering about. It was a picturesque and artistic display of anger and heartbreak, but you’d never admit how you admired the symbolism to Jeongin’s face.

“That felt good,” he panted.

“Yeah? Do this one,” you said, handing him a mug.

“We painted mugs to give to each other at one of those stores in the mall. She said I didn’t have enough pink things in my life, so pink would be her color for me.”

“Fuck the color pink!”

“I mean, I still like the color -”

“Innie, I’m giving free therapy right now and I need you to work with me,” you hurried him alone by rolling your arms.

“Ok, ok! Jeez. But even you look good in pink -”

“Jeongin!”

“Pink sucks…!” he admitted hesitantly before chucking it into the pile. A satisfying shatter of ceramic echoed into the cloudless night.

“Ooh, heartbreak ASMR,” you sang.

Jeongin pulled a pink lop bunny Sonny Angel, those naked baby blind box toys that will put you in crushing debt one day, from the pile of infinite junk. He twirled it in his hands carelessly. “Don’t you like these, too?”

It was a rarer, sought-out-by-collectors type. You and many others had fingers twitching over the overpriced pay button on the resale apps everyday. “No…” your voice cracked.

“How am I supposed to break this?”

“Pop its head off.”

“What?”

You pointed shakily to its cute, pink ears as it smiled innocently. Your hands pretended to yank apart the head from its body. “Decapitate it.”

Jeongin jumped at the low-effort strength it took, which masked your pained groan. There goes a hundred dollars. Then, he plucked away its appendages. You couldn’t bear to look when he tossed the innocent body parts. May you wish no ill will on any collector to ever witness such a murder.

The rest of the box was junk to a stranger, treasure to Jeongin. Things like concert tickets, an empty wine bottle, dried flowers, cologne, sweaters, and jewelry joined the garbage. The last piece was the final boss; a shadow box summary of everything they’d done in the past year. A collection of restaurant receipts, themed matches, movie tickets, polaroid pictures, and loving post-it notes of cheesy poems and ‘I miss yous’ were stabbed into the felt and protected by a thick cover of glass.

“I can’t,” Jeongin sighed, sharp eyes scanning through the memories. He shook his head. “I just can’t.”

“You know the ‘break for emergencies only’ thingies for the fire extinguishers?” you asked and pointed to the pink box. “This is an emergency.”

“She put so much time into this. Almost everything we’ve ever done is preserved… Just for her to throw it all away two months later.”

When he offered this perspective, perhaps your speech on love not being complicated was more introspective than universally accepted. Two months to know you stopped loving someone was not a long enough time. It took much longer than that to no longer be on the same page, or in the same stage of life, or, for fuck’s sake, fall for an affair partner, right? No matter what the answer was, it made you upset.

You could only offer an affectionate rub on his arm. “Do you want to save this for next time?”

Jeongin took an eternity to answer, as if he read every line of every receipt and every ticket or memorized the way she dotted her i’s and crossed her t’s. Then, he pulled you to him in a side-hug.

“There won’t be a next time.”

The frame of the shadow box split by the seams and only cracked the glass. The felt board was kept intact, of course, save for a few loose polaroids. He wrapped his second arm around you in a full hug, resting his cheek atop your head as your bodies swayed with the wind, needing the comfort of his best friend to protect him in this very vulnerable moment.

“You ok?” you muffled into his chest. He smelled of vetiver.

“No,” he admitted confidently, “I hope I will be one day.”

“You will! You will.”

You two remained on the top of the jungle gym overlooking the twinkling skyline in each other’s arms. His fingers traced little shapes across your shoulder blades, some recognizable like stars and moons, others a choreography of squiggles. Your arms rested holding his lower back. In the quiet night, miraculously not in fear of being arrested, you could have fallen asleep right there.

Tonight, you witnessed no tears or any evidence of them. No pink cheeks, or stuffy nose, or bloodshot eyes. Progress was here for now, and though it was too early to celebrate, you’d both bask in the little victories.

“I’m so proud of you,” you encouraged.

“Really?” he hummed.

“Of course! Always.”

His throat bobbed, swallowing down emotions that threatened to escape. “It still hurts so much.”

“I know,” you agreed empathetically.

“But the destruction helped.”

“See?” you boasted. “Who’s always right?”

“_____’s always right,” he squeezed, “always right and always kind.”

“And always here for you.” No matter how painful it’d be.

The night ended with slow dancing under the stars. Hand-in-hand and the other his shoulder, you led the steps to the beat of his songs.

–

Jeongin found no comfort that was better than your bed. The second you left for work, just as the sun rose and tinted the condo in blood orange, he’d sneak in and crawl under your duvet. When the softness of linen and the weight of the feather down knocked him out hard and for the first time in a month, he was able to fall into a deep sleep and would make this his routine until work started. His body had never felt so refreshed, even before the break-up. It smelled like you; like cherries, cream, and tonka bean. A scent cocktail that was so warm and sexy it was like he was put under a spell.

When you were kids, your room wasn’t dirty, but it was cluttered after falling into the feminine urge to gather all things shiny and trinkety. Now, he noted, adulthood hadn’t knocked that part of your brain out while still developing your frontal lobe. You didn’t have as many rocks lying around anymore, but your decoration consisted of naked baby toys and other colorful vinyl blind boxes, music albums, movie posters, and pictures of your loved ones.

Jeongin had looked through every picture in your room about a thousand times already, but only had now noticed that he was in almost every single one. Some were just with you and your parents, but even many of those had him in it. He liked the ones in your younger years; going through the gross and oily phases of puberty, matching ice cream-stained camp t-shirts, teenage-year birthdays, and his favorite was the one from prom night. You wore the sparkliest, glitter-sheddinng, not-the-most-flattering silhouette of a gown that many other girls matched in different colors. But he was just as ridiculous; too small in his poorly-tailored suit, sleeves folded, loose matching tie, and a crooked boutonniere. You both refused to do the prom pose because, ew, touching. So, you dabbed instead. Double ick.

If there was a picture with Jisung, he was in it. Minho? With Jeongin. Your girlfriends? Jeongin photobombed it somehow. He may have ruined some of the compositions, but he was your Jeongin, how were you supposed to throw them away?

Jeongin’s parents once asked if he would consider marrying his best friend. Knowing them, they were serious. At the premature age of twenty, he had gagged at the idea of marriage. Not to you specifically, but tied down? Early into his prime years of bachelorhood? No, thanks.

Then, he met Sieun, and thought maybe marriage was meant for him after all. Forever with the one person you loved so dearly, what could be bad about that? But forever meant really forever, not just a few years, or a few decades, it meant ‘til death do you part and into the afterlife, if that was even real. Maybe that’s what scared her. The thought of Jeongin being her soulmate crushed her world; the thought of her not being his soulmate crushed his. So, now he was back to square one, and he’d rather rot in your bed than make any progress.

Snuggled deep in between your plushies and pillows, he held above him a picture of you on your birthday. You were sitting next to him in front of your cake and had buttercream smudged on your nose while he was bent backwards in an evil cackle. He replayed the memory in his mind. You weren’t mad, but you wanted revenge, and shortly after had also smeared some under his nose in a stylish mustache.

In bed, he couldn’t help but snicker. In between sessions of handheld video games, he’d shuffle through more pictures until time passed by too quickly and the day was spent.

“Jesus -” you gasped, clutching your chest as you entered your room. “Yeah, sure, come in.”

“Thanks,” he sang half-heartedly.

“Have you been doing this every day?” He responded by shrugging. “He’s in pain, he’s hurting, and you love him…”

“I don’t like this picture of me.” Jeongin held up a recent one at a dinner party Hyunjin hosted for his condo-warming. His face was unprepared for the picture and his eyes were closed and mouth open. “I’m not even looking at the camera.”

“Yeah, but I look good,” you boasted.

He tossed it to the side of the bed in a pile of likeness dubbed, ‘throw these ones away’. “I like this one in front of the art museum, though.”

“I do, too.”

You hopped next to him on top of the covers, shuffling through the different piles he made. It was clear which ones he liked, disliked, and didn’t care for. “You don’t like this picture of me and Changbin on our graduation day?”

“Am I in it?”

“No?”

“Then, no.”

“You like this one, though?”

It was a solo picture of you on the same day. He found it hidden in a box of other pictures that were either blurry or of you alone at special events or academic and career achievements. You wore your gown and held your cap that was decorated with plastic jewels that spelled, ‘So Done with this B.S.’, high above your head with the brightest smile on your face. Around your neck was a necklace that he got you for your graduation gift: a petite padlock on a simple chain from one of those boutique brands all the girls liked.

This was one of the most important days of your life. You were happy, sunny, and beautiful. Of course he liked this one.

“Meh,” he shrugged. “I guess you look all right in that one.”

You spent the night in bed recalling stories and social media posts of times past with oily take-out from the corner restaurant downstairs. The quiet weeknight was livened by your giggles and ugly snorts and Jeongin couldn’t remember the last time you two did something like this. It lasted until it was too late to care to kick him out of your bed and you both fell asleep covered in film and prints.

If forever meant forever with you, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

–

Clubbing was a past time that Jeongin probably shouldn’t partake in due to his borderline alcoholism, but when it was for Jisung and Felix’s wombo-combo birthday bash (their words, if you’d even call them such), no one was safe from the heavy pour of Hennessey or bottom-shelf tequila down one’s throat. The weather was still appropriately warm to show off skin, and both you and your roommate took advantage of that, claiming that it was still hot-girl summer and this would be the best time to show off how perfectly fine everything was.

Jeongin rested his chin on your bare shoulder as you stared into the mirror. He had shown his affection more in a physical form after the destruction of his romantic paraphernalia. You should probably set some boundaries… Next time, maybe.

“You might as well go topless,” he teased, poking at your skin-tight top.

His touch tickled and your body stupidly reacted to it more sensitively than any other man who once touched you. “I’m sure you’d like that.”

He neither confirmed nor denied, only nuzzled his curls deeper into the crook of your neck. He styled it in the half-ponytail way you both came to love and work all black, sparkles of silver and pearls adorning his neck. Just as you had barely-there clothing, as did him, exposing hard-earned results of his efforts in the gym. His daytime clothes of soft linens and cottons dyed in innocent shades of blues and oranges matched his aura more than this edgy alter-ego that came out in the presence of alcohol. Soft Jeongin would be in a deep sleep tonight.

“Pearls?” you scoffed. “You slut.”

“Too much?”

“No, but you’re certainly sending the, ‘I’m single and very much looking,’ signal.”

“Perfect!” he shrugged. “When was the last time you went to a pregame, anyways?”

“When did you turn twenty-one?”

“Ok, grandma.”

You threw your hands up in defense. “I’m sorry I am a working woman.”

Skin touched more skin when his arm hooked your neck and dragged you to the door. The closer the taxi approached the condo, Jeongin’s hands more frequently wiped on his pants.

“Do you think she’ll be there?” he asked, sensing your concern.

“I don’t know,” you lied.

A couple weekends before this, you had personally asked the two celebrants to not invite her to the pregame. If they felt so inclined to invite her to the club for the sake of keeping the peace, at least then Jeongin wouldn’t have to be in close proximity and you could drag him away. Jisung was the one who tried to protest, but after begging and bribing them five rounds of drinks on the night-of, he caved in, though claiming he was going to not invite her anyways. He just wanted to see how far you’d go for your ‘beloved “friend.”’

“I need a drink,” he groaned.

“Look at me.” When he wouldn’t, you had to force him by grabbing his bare shoulders. They were much bigger than you remembered. “Say it with me; I am smart, I am sexy, and I am fine.”

“I am smart, I am sexy, and I am fine?”

“I need more gumption, babe. Give me some umph!”

“I am smart, I am sexy, and I am fine.”

“More!”

“I am smart, I am sexy, and I am fine!”

“Yeah!”

“Smart, sexy, fine!”

“Yeaaahh!”

“Let’s drink!”

After tipping the taxi for suffering through your pregame to the pregame, you and Jeongin did more breathing exercises outside their condo to the tune of the hip-hop music inside. All charged up, he opened the door and you stood in awe just how many friends two boys had post-university. The floors were already sticky with juice and liquor, and there was barely room to get to the crowd of people you actually knew. Luckily, Jeongin was tall, and he grabbed your hand to lead you in. This, for some reason, felt more intimate than slow dancing at the park, and that’s when you knew you were embarrassingly touch-starved.

Jisung squeezed himself in between and slung his arms across the shoulders of his close friends. “Long time no see, sugar mama!”

“Hello to you, too, mooch,” you smirked. “Happy birthday, I guess.”

He landed a big wet one on your cheek. “Thanks, babe!”

“Ugh, ew. Where’s the other child?”

“_____! Jeongie!” the deep voice of an Australian boy slurred. He handed you two plastic neon shot cups of brown liquid and no chaser. “Shot o’ Henny! House rules.”

“You disgusting, gross, icky boys…” you groaned.

“C’mere,” Jeongin urged. He twisted his arm around yours so they’d cross, causing your faces to inch closer. His dimples poked his cheeks. “Bottoms up!”

That was the motto of the pregame. One after the other after the other after losing games in humiliating succession made your vision double and made walking feel like you were on a ship. Chan had to catch you not once, but twice, from tripping or bumping into someone. It was as simple as one hand on your waist and pulling you into his chest, to which you so shamelessly placed your hand on when he hugged you close.

“We keep running into each other,” he grinned, biting his bottom lip.

“Must be fate,” you flirted back.

For the second time, Jeongin had to pry you away from the hottest man in the room. Annoyed, you followed anyway, because tonight you were supposed to distract your best friend from falling into a hole filled with existential crisis, not trying to sleep with someone he considered his brother. Still, you shot Chan a hand sign to your ear. ‘Call me!’ you pouted.

“Why would you cockblock me like that?” you whined.

Jeongin didn’t answer right away. He cleared his throat. “It’s time for the club, silly.”

You two shared a sedan with the birthday boys and Minho. One person above the normal limit, but the driver didn’t care and would rather hurry to do the drop-off.

Jisung patted his lap. “Got your seat, sugar mama.”

“No,” you and Jeongin said in simultaneous deadpan.

“Felix, move up,” Jeongin demanded. He man-spread as much as Jisung and Minho allowed, making a small seat in between his legs.

You’d be the first to admit that sometimes you and Jeongin were a little too close to be considered friends; even strangers had mistaken you for a couple once in a while. But you’ve never been close to him like this before. Your hesitation was long enough that Jisung had to yank you into the car. You did your very best to settle in, moving your ass as little as possible, struggling with how you could make this any less awkward and cover the least amount of surface area.

Jisung wrapped Jeongin’s arm tight around your waist and slapped his triceps. “All buckled in!”

As Jisung and Minho yapped each other’s ears off, you and Jeongin remained silent. If you turned to talk to him, your ass would graze his pants, and that was weird, right? Yeah, weird, and it seemed he had a similar thought. The exception was tapping his fingers on your waist to the beat of the radio. His breath tickled the skin on your neck, and your body betrayed you by heating up your face. Touch-starved was an understatement. No, horny was not the right answer; you’d refute it.

You couldn’t have crawled out of the sedan faster. The other boys rushed in to line up at the bar (“Don’t forget what you owe us!” Jisung whispered (yelled)). Behind you, Jeongin scanned the crowd. You followed suit and couldn’t find a beautiful short girl with strawberry blond hair. Ok, this was a good sign. Maybe she wouldn’t come! He let out a breath of relief; or was it disappointment? Regardless, he joined you on the dance floor and weaved between people, dancing against the oontz-oontz.

In this moment, while your veins were half-filled with alcohol and both of your closest friends closed in with over-filled cups, you watched Jeongin forget his woes and sing to the sad up-beat electronic music. A circle would open up in the middle at the peak of the song; Changbin would break dance; Minho and Jisung would body roll; Felix did the worm; and Jeongin would force you into a connected chain reaction of shoulder and arm waves. In these moments, he smiled. Grinned, even; dimples as deep as they could be and eyes twinkling under the neon lights from the DJ.

When the boys dispersed for another drink after a couple of hours of burning calories, you two were left alone again. In those hours, you couldn’t count how many times you made eye contact. After locking eyes again, feeling the highs of euphoria and the lows of heartbreak, he looked like he was going to say something. Then, he broke it, and his face dropped. You didn’t have to turn to see who it was, but like a moth to a flame, you were attracted to the pain.

She greeted Jisung and Felix at the bar on the opposite side of the club. It was too easy to spot her in the dark with her bright hair. She introduced the boys to someone next to her, touching his arm and leaning against him affectionately, making it as clear as the vodka shot in her hand that’s who she was with and he was hers.

How quickly the human heart beats for a lover, just for it to dance to the same rhythm for another.

Jeongin seemed apathetic. Not angry, not sad, and maybe unable to distinguish between if this was the ache of betrayal or the nostalgia of closing a chapter that begged to end.

Speaking of nostalgia, an old EDM song that premiered in your early years of middle school began, the familiar notes from a piano causing the whole club to scream.

You reached out to your soulmate. “You love this song.”

He smiled, eyes tired and filled with sadness, though without the reflection of a pool of stars. “I do love this song.”

You led him to the front where the DJ played Clarity. Lost in the crowd packed like sardines with strangers, you and Jeongin were free to sing out the shadows that slept in your hearts.

“Hot dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life,” you sang at a horribly off-tune. “C’mon, I know you know it!”

“If I fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time,” he sang in perfect key.

“Louder! Hold still right before we crash ‘cause we both know how this ends!”

“A clock ticks ‘til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again.”

You forced your heart to sing its song and it retaliated in waves of tragedy. As your lips stretched to retain the smile, you screamed with the crowd, “‘Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need!”

And he joined in, matching your volume, matching your energy. “Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don’t know why!”

In unison, you threw your heads back, crying into the air at the peak of the song. Like shadows, the crowd mimicked each other with hands curled into fists and hearts raised to the sky. “If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?”

“Let’s go!” you cheered.

The beat picked up and the crowd jumped to the chorus. The bass of the song reached your heart and pumped blood through your veins, tired from fighting with rationality. You would take these short five minutes to let go, let your heart confess to the boy in front of you in the form of a 2013 poetic masterpiece. Despite the meaning, the beat was too sick and you couldn’t help but grin from the fun. Jeongin wasn’t one to hide emotions for the sake of saving face, but it was like he forgot why he was screaming as he headbanged his way through the wordless chorus. You both burst into a fit of giggles, blinded by the lasers that cut through the smoke machine.

As the song progressed, the more your bodies pressed together. Side by side, mixing sweat with sweat, you both screamed at the DJ the second verse and would turn to each other again for the iconic bridge. His dimples carved into his perfect skin and this would be a core memory you’d lock away forever despite the molotov cocktail of despair that ignited in your gut.

The line you screamed to your best friend was the one that branded itself into your whole being. It was the one line he refused to sing.

“You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need!”

He didn’t continue the pattern of bouncing off lines from each other. He stopped jumping, brows furrowed in a way that concerned you more than it concerned him.

“What?” you paused.

Jeongin closed the gap between your bodies. Surrounded by violent waves of people, you blocked them out within the bubble, unable to hear the song anymore. His hands cupped your cheeks. Your mind registered a second too late that he was wiping something with his thumbs. It felt wet and warm, freshly flowing on your numb face.

His hands left your face and found your arms. You watched as he wrapped them around his neck and his dropped to your waist. The strength of his grip was desperate and longing, filling an emptiness that physically you could replace, but lovingly couldn’t replicate. You begged your body to step away, to run out and find Chan or anyone else; to go home even, but tonight your heart controlled your mind and overwrote the command. This was what you wanted, what you needed, what you dreamed of since secondary school. To be in the arms of the one you loved fulfilled the one level on the hierarchy of needs, but was a threat to the one below it. Your body was struggling to respond to its fight-or-flight, understanding that you had long crossed the thin line between friend and lover long ago with a size thirteen shoe, but it had betrayed you and glued your heels to the sticky dance floor.

Why was Clarity the longest fucking song in the world?

The smell of his pink peppercorn and cedar hit your senses and brought you back to life. You felt his forehead against yours, nose touching nose, his breath tickling your lips, and saw his eyes float between them and your now dry eyes.

“Why?” was all you could muster against his lips.

He answered by swallowing your words. You never understood the comparison of the softness of rose petals until you felt his. You kissed him shyly, waiting for him to pull away in a shocking realization of regret and prepared for the aftermath. But when you wouldn’t respond how he wanted, he pressed harder, moving his lips hungrily and mouth open and welcoming to receive. Your tongues danced and tasted the bitterness of tonight’s drinks, old lovers, and repressed confusion. But it felt good; so, so good. To be the one he wanted for once, whether it was real or for convenience, was an opportunity you pathetically couldn’t pass.

And your heart, how it soared! With wings made of wax, you were high above the clouds, tangling yourself with him and exchanging euphoric hums. But your dreams were sculpted by Daedalus and delusion was the sun, and though you wished to remain here forever, your wings began to melt and reality wouldn’t be kind enough to soften the fall.

When you broke for air in the middle of the next song, you felt pressure rise in your nose and eyes as a million tears collected. You knew this wasn’t what he wanted; or rather, you weren’t what he wanted. He wanted the same memory, the same cry of song, the same touch, the same kiss, the same taste of breath; just not yours. He wanted hers. You knew in the deepest corner of your heart that he imagined holding her instead and that her breath was the one he’d breath in. In the ideal scenario, you’d be out by the perimeter watching your best friend win back the woman of his dreams and he’d hold her so tightly, afraid that she would drown in the crowd. You were meant to be his biggest fan, not his greatest love.

“Why?” you cried again.

He shook his head. “I just thought -”

“This isn’t right.” But you wished it was.

Outside, the busy streets in the middle of the night were deafened by the bass and proximity to the DJ. It was a miracle you heard the honk of a nearby taxi that’d take you home.

No, you wouldn’t confess to your best friend in a club downtown. No, you wouldn’t confess any other time regardless of circumstance. This was a secret the recipient of an unrequited love was supposed to bury with them to their grave because it was the deepest sin committed between two best friends. As long as you didn’t confess, the bond wasn’t severed and the damage could be repaired. That’s how it was supposed to work, anyways.

For the night, you’d lock yourself in your room. You’d close off any and all avenues in order to protect and repair the critical condition of your heart. So much of it had been chipped away and given in pieces to fill the gaps that Jeongin was missing, but now he was confusing kindness for love and familiarity with feeling whole. How would you get back the pieces of yourself you so willingly gave up? Would your heart know to create those pieces into something new, or would it reject anything that came in its place that wasn’t from him?

You arrived home and washed away the sins until your skin burned from all the scrubbings. The sky was cloudy tonight as you looked outward into the lively streets of young adults who could party until the sun snuck above the horizon. The stars wouldn’t show themselves tonight.

Would Scorpio and Lupus be there tomorrow?

–

When your door handle wouldn’t give, Jeongin gave up and retreated to his room some time after 3:00 AM. He laid in bed and hated the feeling of his bed sheets. They weren’t as soft and they didn’t envelope him in a blanket of clouds as yours did. Though the ceiling color was the same as yours, in a sense, it still wasn’t the same, as he was in his own room and not where he belonged.

You had burned into his soul. The way your lips felt, the way your tongue swirled, the way your hands pulled him in, was the answer of how much you yearned for him. He was no stranger to signs of affection. No friend would do all of this with their heart in platonic mode. You didn’t look at him the way Felix or Chan or the others did. You, with your softened eyes and gentle touch, had him in your heart, for the Gods only know how long.

Jisung was the one to kick him out of the club and kick what little sense was left in him. “Go after her, you idiot!”

His lips were tingly. The feeling of your hands through his hair, fingers gentle and tracing the map to your heart, was carved into his scalp. His tongue swiped across his lips, lonely and aching to have another taste.

You infected him. You forced poison down his throat that made him unable to sleep, torturing him with a recording of your body pressed on his. He blamed you for how it planted itself and festered into something more salacious; a similar scenario, with tangled limbs and messy hair, but in the privacy of your bedroom and much less clothing.

In the days that followed, you pretended that night never happened, but something changed. Your responses were shorter, your cheeks were pinker, you couldn’t hold eye contact without faltering to his lips, you wore baggier clothes, and couldn’t even spend more than fifteen minutes in the same room without having to leave to ‘get water’ or ‘go to the bathroom’.

Why, for the love of all the Gods, hadn’t you confessed yet? Isn’t that the rational next step?

“Why would she?” Minho snorted while kicking his feet up on your coffee table. Jeongin would wipe that down later.

“Why wouldn’t she?” he repeated.

“You understand you live here, too, right?”

“So…”

“So… isn’t that weird? What are you going to say? ‘Cool, I’m still not over Sieun though, sowwy. Can I still live here, though’?”

“But I am!”

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear. Seeing her with that guy… sure, it sucked ass, but I don’t know. No one ever likes to see their ex with someone else.”

“No one likes taking care of someone they love who loves someone else, either.”

Jeongin pulled the string on his hoodie and hid inside. “I just feel like a confession would get rid of all this tension -”

“Sexual tension.”

“Regular tension.”

“And change the trajectory of your friendship and lives forever, so much so that the stars would misalign and chaos would ensue. Just as the prophecy foretold,” Minho rolled his eyes. “You know what, Jeongin, you’re right - _____ should confess her undying love to her best friend of over a decade who just broke up with the first love of his life after they made out on the dance floor to fucking Clarity, of all the damn EDM songs in the world, and then all would be normal, right? Nothing good has ever come out of tongue dueling to an EDM song.”

“I don’t need your sass…”

“Yes, you do, because you’re acting like an idiot. I don’t care what Jisung says, he’s too much of a loverboy. Think rationally, here; she’s not going to confess to someone who she knows doesn’t feel the same way. It’s that simple.”

Love was an infectious disease and Jeongin didn’t have the proper antibodies to defend himself against your poison. His heart, his mind, and his body were firing alert signals to each other whenever he saw you. His body would block them when you came home in your work-out clothes; his mind couldn’t focus whenever you spoke to him; and his heart wrenched when your smile didn’t match your eyes.

“Earth to Jeongin!” you snapped, waving in front of his face.

“Hm?” he asked, pretending your chest wasn’t in his face. His mind did a double-take when it registered your outfit.

“I said I’m going out for the night. So, you know, don’t light my home on fire.”

“Out where?”

Your back stiffened. “On a date.”

–

When Minho hit you up during your lunch break on a Friday afternoon, you were half expecting him to ask when the meeting was with the developers. The other half was not expecting a proposition.

“I don’t date co-workers,” you deadpanned.

“Not me, genius,” he scoffed. “A friend.”

“I’m not interested in Jisung.”

“How we got promoted at the same time is beyond me. I have other friends!”

“Do they look like Chan?”

“Sadly, no. They don’t look like Jeongin, either.”

Since the clubbing-turned-friendship-destroying wombo-combo, Minho made it his mission to terrorize you about it every working hour, either in person or over Teams with kissing, tongues, and eggplant emojis. Each time, you couldn’t suppress the burning on your face and in your chest. Your showers had to be ice cold for you to not remember how his hands gripped your waist and to forget how warm his tongue was around yours. At work, you often found yourself dazed, looking out at young couples that passed the streets below, daydreaming about kissing Jeongin again every time a couple would kiss at the stop light before crossing the road, or kiss each other goodbye, or just because.

You were sick with the lovebug and there was no remedy available. What made Minho think a date would work?

“No,” you said.

“Come on, _____! Live a little!”

“No!”

“So you’re saving yourself for a man who only kissed you because he felt sorry for you.”

If anyone was going to tell you the hard truth, it would be him. That didn’t make it hurt any less. “You think I can’t get over him.”

“I know you can’t.”

“That’s not fair. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You wanted it.”

“Of course I did, so what?!”

“You need to either move on and forget it happened, or fuck each other and see where it takes you. Which would you rather tell Jeongin?”

Minho was brash, but he was right, in a sense. If you couldn’t feel comfortable in your own home, you’d be drained of all life and cease to exist, living as a hollow body that went to work and came home to sleep. But was moving on or sleeping with your best friend truly the only two options?

Maybe you were an idiot. “Not a date. A drink.”

“Same thing. I’ll set it up tonight.”

“Tonight?!”

“Take it or leave it.”

There was some satisfaction in the way Jeongin’s face twisted when you admitted to a date. Yes, you put on your tightest clothes; yes, you put on your favorite perfume; and yes, you weren’t wearing a bra. All of which Jeongin realized, based on the path his eyes traveled.

“A date,” he muttered. “With whom?”

“I don’t know. Minho set it up for me.”

“Minho?” he sneered, then shook his head. “And you’re going?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Yes.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t go.”

“Jeongin -”

He stood from his seat on the couch. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I can’t -” you stuttered, unable to form the words you wanted to say in order. “I’m going.”

He blocked your path to the door. “I think we should talk.”

“About what?”

“About that night.”

“Now?” you scoffed. “Right now?”

“Yes.”

“This is something I want to do. Please,” you begged, “let me go.”

“I think you don’t want to go.”

“You don’t know what I think.”

“I think I do.”

“Well, you’re wrong.” The familiar sting on your nose returned. “You don’t know anything.”

“I think -” he paused, voice caught in his throat. “I know what I felt from you that night.”

“You know,” you chuckled bitterly. “You know what, exactly?”

“I felt you. I felt ten years of frustration, of anger, of-of desire, of everything that is both good and bad -”

“Jeongin -”

“How can you say that I didn’t feel how your heart beat against mine, how your lips pressed deeper -”

“Stop -”

“No!” he cried out. “I won’t stop! I can't! I-I need to know.”

“Are you asking for something? Are you looking for an answer that you already know?”

“Yes!”

“Why?!”

“Theories can be proven wrong.”

“But why does it matter?”

His voice cracked and he couldn’t manage to look you in your glossy eyes. “We need to lay everything on the table for this to work.”

“What’s not broken doesn’t need to be fixed.”

“But it is broken! Everything’s broken! It’s all a shattered mess of pieces that don’t fit together and we need to repair what’s broken when it’s all laid out in front of us.”

“Why?” you stuttered. “Why tonight? Tonight, of all nights, when I have something that’ll make me forget about that night for just a couple of hours?”

Jeongin couldn’t answer. It could have happened any night. But the game of life threw in a time-sensitive prompt that changed the whole plot. The fact that you wanted to forget, but couldn’t, might be the only confession he’d get.

“I can’t keep revolving my life around you,” you whispered. “I can’t keep loving you the way I do and maintain the friendship you need from me.”

There it was, the confession he was looking for, but not in the way he expected you to admit. He thought you’d do so while looking at the ground, hiding your smile the way you would act shyly, and maybe it’d be a little embarrassing. But as you stood before him, you were standing strong, refusing to break eye contact, with tears streaming down and dripping from your chin. It was in a way that begged for him to see you for how you really felt; like he was ripping your heart from your chest with his bare hands.

Your hands curl into fists in an effort to stop the tears. “If I lay the pieces of my heart on the table, I can’t take them back.”

He stepped closer. “Why not?”

You stepped back. “Because I won’t be able to put myself back together.”

“I’m here. I was made for you; to help keep you together.”

“Not in the way I want. In the way I need.”

“Yes, yes to both!” Jeongin grabbed tissues to dab the tears from your precious face, as if your skin was coated in porcelain. “I want to make this work.”

“This friendship.”

“No.”

“I am not her!” your voice cracked. “I am not her and I can’t fill in for the gap she left behind.”

“I don’t want her. I want you.”

You still couldn’t accept it. It just didn’t make sense. You were made to care for him from afar, not stand by his side. “You don’t mean that. You had ten years. Ten years! It only changed because, what, you're desperate for touch and you're going after the easiest catch? It's pathetic. You're pathetic!”

Your sharp tongue was your greatest weapon, but Jeongin was left unscathed. You were hurting and had a decade's worth of hardened shells that were crumbling in front of him. Yes, this was all too sudden, and it didn't make sense, but he was losing you and he'd rather break you down into a million pieces and deal with the puzzle later if it meant you'd stay.

“_____,” he whispered. He pressed his forehead against yours as if the closeness would allow you to read his mind and hear his heart scream. “I can't stop thinking about you.”

You sucked in a breath. Those words felt like a spell that lit your body in flames. Your mind said to run, but your body and heart had overruled. You tilted your head and your noses touched. “What if this doesn’t work?”

“Theories were tested repeatedly to be deemed true.”

“Tested a lot of times.”

“A billion times.”

“That takes a very long time.”

“I’ll take forever with you,” he breathed on your lips. “If you’ll have me.”

Your iron grip on his sweater would surely leave a mark later, but you were too afraid to let go, too afraid that this moment was a dream and he’d disappear if you faltered. “I was yours for ten years. I’ve been waiting to have you.”

One soft kiss. “I took too long.”

Another, more needy, kiss. “You can make it up to me later.”

And another, one that mimicked the hunger from that night. “Now.”

“Hm, I don’t know… I have a date, remember?”

“Yeah, with me in your bed.”

Your giggles echoed throughout the condo when Jeongin threw you over his shoulder and ran to your room.

And so your heart soared again. Above the ether was the unknown, in the mythical heavens and forbidden territory. But you'd get there together, while your arms tangled with his and noses rubbing affectionately as your breaths combined in between long and slow kisses under your (and his) blankets.

The fine line you once refused to cross bent and folded with your bodies.

–

EPILOGUE

“Yo,” Minho greeted the phone.

“Hey, I don’t think I can make it tonight -”

“She’s sick!” Jeongin interrupted.

“Oh, shit, I forgot about that. Well, thank God!” Minho sighed.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, that was a lie.”

“What the hell/What the actual hell is wrong with you?” you and Jeongin yelled in disbelief.

“Because Jeongin is a possessive simpleton and _____ is a cheap date. Did my master plan work, or not?”

“Well, yes, but -”

“My work here is done, bye!” Minho hung up.

[tempoaryblogformightyjensblog]

I need all newcomer FNAF fans to understand that William is not a normal child killer. Not in the sense that he has some great depth, but rather he is fixated on killing/hurting children to a weird degree. There is no normal degree, but he somehow found a weird degree.

I made a post about this a couple years back, and I did get the facts slightly off, so I will give an updated take. Ahem

He did not just kill 5 children at Freddy's, when Freddy's opened 2 years later he got a fake identity to kill 5 kids again. He used his apparently very wealthy company and his insane level of technological genius to build several highly advanced machines that function like they are from the 22nd century, have stuff like 'voice mimic lure' and many other advancements, and he used these godly accomplishments to kidnap and kill more children. He discovered Scarecrow-esqe hallucinogenic gas and used this for, you guessed it, torturing kids in his underground lab. They had like a whole fake house down there with a bed and a dinner table and everything bro was intricate.

After he became undead, he went to a fake pizza place he knew was a trap juuust so he could see if there were any actual kids here to kill.

So film fans if you are asking yourself if William is just a normal child killer, the answer is no. It is more that he is on some sort of crusade upon children everywhere and dedicates his entire existence to killing or hurting more kids. It's his goal in life, it drives him. He would invent time travel but only if every time the device was used to travel in time, it kicked an orphan in the balls.

[number1jaymerrickhater]

Marble Hornets sleep headcannons bc I’m bored in math class

Jay

Jay is the type of guy who can sleep anywhere, at any time. It doesn’t matter where, when, or how uncomfortable the position is if he wants to sleep he will.

In college Jay was kinda known for being found sleeping in weird spots. At least once Alex found him passed out in a closet.

Definitely a stomach sleeper.

Despite being able to sleep in the loudest conditions (he could sleep next to a highway and be fine) he can’t sleep if its too quiet.

He’s so used to noise that he just can’t sleep in a silent room.

Doesn’t snore but will talk in his sleep.

And not just random mumbles bros having whole ass conversations with himself while he’s asleep

Alex records it to use as blackmail material because he finds it funny

Alex

Alex is the complete opposite

He needs 12 blankets, 4 pillows, and the perfect amount of background noise in order to sleep

One of those blankets is definitely a weighted one

Unless he passes out from pure exhaustion he can not fall asleep in a moving vehicle

Side sleeper, he doesn’t have a specific side he sleeps on but generally prefers to sleep with his back to a wall.

Bro is fighting demons in his sleep or something because jesus fucking christ does he move

Sometimes shoots of Marble Hornets would run late and everyone would just crash in Alex’s living room slumber party style.

Even though it was his house Alex would still join in sleeping on the living room floor bc friend bonding and shit he also would have felt like an asshole if they all slept on the floor and he slept in his bed

Everyone quickly learned not to sleep next to Alex unless you wanna deal with him kicking your ass while you sleep.

Alex would obviously feel bad and apologize but that didn’t stop them from mildly bullying him about it.

Tim

Tim sleeps like the dead.

He has insomnia so falling asleep is hard, but once he’s out he’s OUT

Nothing short of a world ending event could wake him up once he falls asleep.

This meant he was usually stuck sleeping near Alex because no amount of kicking could ever wake him up

He isn’t loyal to any sleeping position. He rotates like a hot dog when he’s trying to fall asleep.

He snores.

Not super loudly or anything but loud enough for it to be noticeable.

He isn’t a huge fan of blankets because he doesn’t like feeling trapped or confined.

He sleeps with a single thin blanket, a single pillow, and thats it.

Him and Alex get into frequent debates over how many blankets is the correct amount.

“What the fuck are you doing with 8 blankets? How do you not suffocate?”

“Well how do you not freeze to death under your single blanket that’s thinner than dollar store toilet paper?”

“Its called heat, its this fancy new invention you turn on to keep your house warm.”

“It’s not just about warmth its about being comfortable. How can you be comfortable with one blanket.”

He sets a million alarms in order to wake up in the morning

Brian

His sleep schedule is so normal its disturbing.

He gets exactly 8 hours every night, goes to bed and wakes up at the same time 7 days a week.

Sleeps on his back with his arms on at his sides.

Doesn’t move, doesn’t snore, he just lays there.

Multiple people have made jokes about him looking like a corpse when he sleeps

He is one of those weirdos who actually goes to sleep and wakes up refreshed???

Can not stay up late.

If he needs to pull an all nighter for something he needs an entire pot of coffee because once it hits a certain time his body just clocks out on him.

He got his body on such a good schedule that he doesn’t even set an alarm anymore, he just naturally wakes up on time

He didn’t get a healthy sleep schedule of his own free will, he’s just the type of guy who can’t function if he gets less than 8 hours

Drools in his sleep.

[d0g0r0t]

I have such a specific request for ticci Toby head cannon, as seen in the timeline 30 year old Toby got institutionalized.My question is what he doing????

Not necessarily how he got there but maybe his reaction to being separated from you for an extended period of time?

Thank you : DD

Currently kicking my feet up in the air thinking about this 

When Toby got institutionalized

OMG I L9VE THIS IDWJNAKDNR

Pt2

Pt3

When he got caught he went fucking MENTAL on everyone and everything around him. Not because he got caught because he was being taken away from you

The moment he was in the facility he wouldn't talk to anyone, and when he did it would be lash outs screaming, kicking, punching, slapping, biting, anything to cause a scene and the most trouble

And when he did have these melt downs he would be locked in one of those rubber rooms so he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else

After about a week you were all he thought about. During free time he would draw you and write little poems about you. And every time a person asked who you were he give them the most drop dead stare

The idea of you not by his side sent him into a deep depression. He would rot in his bed for hours and would only come out if he was physically dragged out. He would eat unless he we held down and food shoved down his throat.

Doctors tried getting a reason out of him but he wouldn't budge.

The only time he did talk about you was when he accidentally slipped and said your name in such a sad and weak manner

It was honestly sad to see

He missed you so so so much It actually pained him that he couldn't see you. He knew he had to get out some how but he didn't know what that some how was.

He would see you in his dreams and every time he woke he would sob quietly into his pillow

You were his only reason of actually trying anymore. And now that he was taken away from you he couldn't even function

He loved you with all his heart and not having you in the same room as him made him angry at the world

There was multiple reports of people catching him mumbling you name in his sleep or going into full on breaks as he stared at the wall for hours. They had to let him snapped out of it at his own time or else someone would get seriously hurt

GUESS WHO SILLY GUY WAS THINKG ABOUT?!??!

YOU!!!!!

___________________________________________

He was sentenced to 355 years in the mental facility.

He had a reputation there to say the least. Everyone feared him. People thought he was crazy with the whole slenderman thing and all the murders. It was a shocker to them he wasn't caught sooner

How I think he got caught was when he was cornered by a large group of cops and literally had no where to go. He knew if he swung he would be shot on the spot so with a lot of thinking he gave in

Once he snapped at this guy and killed him with a coloring pencil...

Loser

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE THIS IS OK AND UP TO YOUR STANDARDS!!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!

Bro got thrown in the silly bin

[alientitty]

Persona 5 (Royal) Guys Punchability Rating

Should you, playing as Joker, take a swing at your confidants? Find out here!

I-The Magician: Morgana

Hey, he's just a little kitty cat! It might be annoying how he doesn't let you go out at night and keeps talking when you're trying to read or meditate, but when he's not around it's clear you can barely function without a feline handler. He does keep saying weird shit to Ann though. 3/10

IV-The Emperor: Yusuke Kitagawa

Is it even fair? The guy's a toothpick. He's gonna blow away with the next breeze. His stamina in the Metaverse comes entirely from sitting around thinking about the darkness of the human soul re:art all day. Isn't he a starving orphan? But he does keeping saying out-of-pocket shit and you don't care how gay he is, that's no excuse for being a misogynist. Violence isn't the answer, but he'll feel the passion behind your slap, even if he doesn't entirely approve of the method. 5/10

V-The Hierophant: Sojiro Sakura

Aww, isn't he such a lovable tough guy? Basically your new dad, generational enmity and all. Hey wait why is he checking out your teenage friends. Hitting on all these younger women. Isn't he like 50? 60? If he's in his 60s you worry his brittle bones will shatter on impact, but if it's 50s then he's fair game. Maybe he'll finally trust you after some male bonding through friendly roughhousing and all. Depending on how early it is in the game there's a chance you'll be out on the street, though. 6/10

VI-The Chariot: Ryuji Sakamoto

He's your homeboy, your bro, your best buddy! And sometimes friends deck friends when they get outta line. You do feel kinda bad since he's been trying to channel all those big water sign emotions into becoming a gym rat instead of getting goaded into fights and all, but you'll keep it clean. You love him, but he can be so embarrassing in front of your other friends! Maybe he'd stop chasing skirts like a doofus if he just got some friendly skin-on-skin contact with other guys now and then. Wait, what? Well, anyways, it's totally a fair fight. As you throw the first punch you remember, wait, isn't he a domestic violence survivor? Shit. 9/10

XI-Justice: Goro Akechi

You can't tell if he's actually cool or just pretentious, but you've been waiting for a chance to wipe that shit-eating grin off his pretty face. You bet he has a 15-step skincare routine to get that perfect glow when he delivers a backhanded compliment that subtly conveys how much he thinks he's better than you. Staring each other down across the billiard tables while you play a verbal game of cat-and-mouse isn't enough. This cold war's gotta heat up. And, spoiler alert, he will challenge you to a duel...and then some. This ends with one of you on his knees. 10/10

XII-The Hanged Man: Munehisa Iwai

What beef do you even have with this guy? He's the hot gun guy who gives you custom builds in exchange for glimpses into the life of a Goodfellas side character. Besides, with his history, you don't wanna risk it. He's way too experienced and strong and grizzled and smoldering and...ahem. Maybe you would learn something. 4/10

XVI-The Tower: Shinya Oda

That's a kid. You do wanna punch the people making this poor child's life so hard, though. 0/10

XVIII-The Moon: Yuuki Mishima

He looks up to you so much it just wouldn't be fair. You've seen him beat up so much already that, even if he asked you to fight him, it'd be like kicking a puppy. He can be annoying and a creep and maybe even a little scary sometimes, but a punch is not what he needs. 2/10

XIX-The Sun: Toranosuke Yoshida

Dad?! For real, though, he's just about the only adult in this game besides Lala-chan who seems actually cognizant of the fact that you're a teenager. If you tried to take a swing at him he'd be incredibly disappointed that his lessons didn't stick, and you'd never forgive yourself for letting him down. 1/10

(Igor isn't here because he's nothing. As in, literally immaterial. You can't punch your dreamscape spirit guide with your real life human hands. He's, just, not there.)

1-The Councillor: Takuto Maruki

The most punchable guy in the entire game. Everyone thinks that self-effacing, oblivious beta male act is so charming, but you're not buying it. He's only there for Shujin to cover its ass until it cycles out of the news and is either willingly complicit or too incompetent to notice. He thinks his disarming, approachable shtick is a therapeutic icebreaker, but it's more like a lack of boundaries bordering on malpractice. He's one of those self-described "empaths" who projects his own personal issues onto everybody else and plays the victim when you call him out on it. The last thing you or any other troubled teens need is this bumbling, paternalistic stooge messing around in your heads. Plus, every time he makes that stupid pouty face you wanna slap the license outta him. Hey, does he even have one? 11/10

Bonus: Protagonist/ Joker / Your Name Here

Well, you play as him, so he's kind of you? The dialog options let you be a little mean or creepy sometimes, so I guess it's up to the player to decide if he's a jerk or not. Or you can take all those options as reflective of his personality (add in the fake glasses and Uniqlo mannequin getups, and he's kind of an asshole). Just keep in mind that, for a guy who eats a single loaf of bread at lunch every day, he's surprisingly built and pretty strong. You'll be in for quite a fight you can't back out of if you take a swing at him. At yourself?

??/10