#btw if u hate lily and want to blame everything on her

[clevernightdinosaur]

Hmm, just reread DH and realized Snape was the one who tried to follow Lily to gain her affection, but after all the only one people remember doing that is James though the books never mentioned it.

I mean I don't criticize Snape for following Lily, he was a lonely kid, he didn't know how to make friends and want to make sure everything would be fine. If I was him, I would scare the shit out of me. Lily lived in a whole different world compared to him, also was a Muggleborn, didn't know magic was exist, how he couldn't have no preparation?

Besides, about James, he just said something like if Lily hang out with him he would let Snape alone in OOTP and that's all. Once. One line, maybe two, but we have no actual scene describe him BlAcKmAiL, stalk or try to force Lily into a relationship with him. Maybe he liked her first but nobody ever mentioned he tried to flirt her every time, or he liked her since their first year. Nothing, except a very small scene.

That's really ridiculous.

[thewilddreamerrr]

A Werewolf Telling

Remus entrance in Hogwarts after more of a decade was... awkward to say the least. Dumbledore requested him to become a DADA teacher 3 months ago. Seeing him after all that had happened... well, let's say it wasn't the best display of all time. Not longer a teenager nor a young whole and happy man, it was too much for Dumbledore and for Remus to bear. Too many memories, too many tears and desperate cries, too many broken dreams... a broken heart too. The young man was now a man but there was so many things missing in him. The sparkle once in his eyes, that sparkle only present in company of his friends... in company of-

Dumbledore stopped himself there. He, better than any other could understand the pain Remus felt. Losing not only his friends, his family, but also losing the love of a man he knew... he thought he knew.

After hours of quite intense discussion, Remus accepted. He managed to say yes because Dumbledore promised (again) to do everything in his power to help him with his transformations. Plus, Severus Snape was now a Potions teacher and he could manage to prepare him Wolfbane Potion (under Dumbledore's orders, of course) so... that was an improvement Remus couldn't deny.

***

The day he arrived at King's Cross and saw the scarlet train, he felt like an eleven year old all over again. He swallowed hard because those memories always came along with other three kids in it. A bespectacled boy with messy hair, another chubby and witty one and-

Remus sighed. After all these years, after all the hurt and pain. The hate. His heart still beat like a fucking drum at the mere thought of that kid with mischievous grey eyes and a smirk worth to make his knees go weak. He didn't want to think, not in those kids, not in what happened 13 years ago, not in anything.

However, he hadn't expected what came after he fell asleep in the compartment he choose for his ride. Harry. James and Lilly's Harry. His "nephew", there with other two friends. The last time he saw him was on James' birthday. He was still wearing diapers. Harry, this 13 year old Harry, was so much like his father. The same messy hair, complexions and even the height. Now, his eyes were another thing. Lily's eyes. But not only that, he inherited his mom's eye shape and fierce gaze, the one that leaves no room for discussion.

It felt like years of repressed emotions melt away as soon as Harry laid his eyes on him. He no longer called him 'ncle Mo'oy, but Professor Lupin. Remus hoped a tiny part of Harry could recognize him but he was happy to be part of his life again.

***

Once he entered the castle and establish himself in his new dorm, he went downstairs to the Great Hall. He took no more than two steps down, when a voice behind him stopped him in his tracks

'Remus?'

He froze. And very slowly he turned around. There were already tears in his eyes.

'Poppy?'

The medi-witch whimpered and approached to him till there was only her arms around him. Remus was shocked and speechless.

'I thought I'll never see you again' she sobbed in his chest 'I was worried sick about you and what might had happened to you after-'

Remus caught off her mumbling and embrace the other woman tightly against him. Madam Pomfrey was probably the only other person who treated him like a son while in school. He never stopped himself to think how much he missed her until that moment.

'Oh, dear' Poppy mumbled taking a step back and scanning the werewolf 'look at you'. She gently placed a hand in Remus' cheek and smiled softly 'you promised to contact me... and you didn't, you silly boy'

Remus felt the heat of his cheeks grow a little after those words. He wanted to say he was no longer a boy, that he did pretty well all these years. But he knew he couldn't lie to her (he suck at lying too).

'I know, I'm sorry. I'm here now, am I?'

Pomfrey's gave a disapproving look and quickly smiled back.

'Why don't we go to dinner now, dear?'

***

'Sirius Black has escaped from Askaban' Dumbledore said in a usual neutral voice. Remus knew quite well the meaning behind those words.

'Why should I care?'

'I just thought you should know' the headmaster narrowed his eyes just a slightly bit. Remus wouldn't fall for it.

'I'm sorry, Professor, but I suppose the only concern we all should have right now is how we can protect the students and-'

'You think he might want to break into the school?'

'I- I'm not... I just-' Remus passed a hand through his hair and sighed in frustration 'Maybe he'll come after Harry'

Both men stayed in silence for what felt like an eternity.

'We'll take the precautions needed' said Dumbledore at least.

Remus couldn't reply, not even if he wanted to.

***

'Spotted in Hosgmeade'

Remus read the sentence over and over again. He was close, so close... and so far away.

'Fuck' the tears were coming. Why now? What did he wanted? Harry? Him? Everyone to just die? He threw the paper away and screamed in the isolated dorm.

'No, no, no, nO, NO, NO, FUCK NO'

His heart ached; he repeated to himself that he hated Black, that his very existence was a waste of space, that he didn't need him in his life. He didn't need those fucking gorgeous eyes or that stupid smirk. He definitely didn't love him. Not anymore. Not since he was 21.

'...fuck’

And Remus laughed. A weak and dull laugh. He was alone in that room, no other than him. He could lie to himself all the wanted but he knew that if that man walked through that same door at that same moment... he'll throw himself in the flames of hell for a second with Sirius. And he hated himself for that.

***

'He broke into school. He was here, for Merlin's sake!' Remus exploded.

Minerva Mcgonagall and Madam Pomfrey shared a concern look. Remus Lupin wasn't the kind of person who would... break down. But knowing the past Sirius and Remus shared so many years ago...

'Remus Lupin, you need to calm down now' Mcgonagall said with a sharp command. That was not the way to deal with this situation.

He stopped passing around the empty classroom and looked at the two women.

'Remus?' Pomfrey tried with a less aggressive approach 'Remus, dear, I know this must be difficult for you...'

'Difficult?' Snapped Remus 'Just difficult? Yeah, because for the past 13 years my life has been a fucking dream'

'Remus!' Mcgonagall's voice echoed all through the classroom to Remus' core 'There's no need for such... colorful... language' she cleared her throat in a attempt to recompose herself 'We are aware that your life has not been that simple' Remus snorted lowly but Mcgonagall ignored it 'Now, is not the time for meltdowns. We must take responsibility over our students and protect each one of them' she saw how Remus' was starting to fidge again and sighed 'Remus, we can't change the past not the horrible things that happened. However, we can improve our future and make the best out of it. You have the power to keep looking forward or getting stuck in your past'

Remus hadn't notice she approached to him until he felt a gentle hand over his shoulder.

Our decisions define us. Well, that's some fucked up philosophy to be honest.

***

That night he couldn't sleep at all. His mind kept bringing him memories about simpler times. Times full of color and joy. Despite living in such a dark time, he got his friends and lover by his side. They really thought they'd be able to make it. How innocent one can be at such a young age. That was until the bad seed was planted. Everything went downhill after that. The simpler times were gone, as well as the trust and confidence. He couldn't blame them for not trusting him (he wouldn't either). Because it had been Sirius after all.

Remus' heart skipped a beat at the thought of him.

'Really? After all these years...' he whispered to himself.

***

It hadn't been him. It hadn't been him, it had been Peter. Fucking Pettigrew.

Sirius laid in the floor beneath him looking desperate and somehow relieved Remus figured it out. He wanted to cry and laugh and curse and fucking scream but now it wasn't the time. The intensity of Sirius grey eyes, ranking him from head to toe was burning him alive.

And in that moment, Remus decided that yeah, if he already scorched quite a bit for Sirius in his youth, he'll fucking die in flames again for him.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

ALL RIGHT!! Hey, there I'm Julie. So, I wanna say a couple of things now that I have your attention:

First of all, this is my first time posting something I write on my own so you probably feel the stress too,huh and to make things worse English isn't even my first language *finger guns* What I'm trying to say is sorry if there're mistakes and all that because this whole situation gave me a lot of anxiety lol

Second, imma wolfstar trash, bitch. Lol Alright, so this whole idea started as some weird day dream I had about Remus and Madam Pomfrey (completely inspired btw by @captofthesswolfstar and her 💖A-MA-ZING💖 fic WWI) and well, let's say I carried away. I love to think how Remus must had felt in his return to Hogwarts and also dealing with Sirius all over again. He's a chill dude but Mcgonagall and Pomfrey know him very well and I know he trusted them enough to y'know break down.

Third, I wanna give a H U G E thank you to my friend @wavesofjoyy for helping me out and correcting this mess. You're fucking awesome I love you.

Fourth and hopefully lastly, I really hoped you enjoyed this little thing I made. If everything goes well, I might share other things related to wolfstar, who knows? Thanks in advance everyone💕

Julie's out *drops mic*