#bumblebeehug has so many letters...

[bumblebeehug]

Not a question but i said your name (username) outloud and I genuinely thought it was Bumblebug

Anyways, good day to you!

behold, the bumblebug!

[angstandhappiness]

Apology letter, to @bumblebeehug

"Honorable peer,

I would like to apologise for making you feel uncomfortable and invalidating your feelings. Truth be told, I see you as one of the Popular Tumblr Blog, and had been in utter awe and admiration of you. When you messaged me to say that my comment made you feel uneasy, I could not comprehend truly, for I think of you as this highly-regarded person and so cherished, that such a trivial comment from someone as insignificant one as could have hardly bothered you so much that you see the need to clarify this with me.

In my admiration of you, I have forgotten to see that behind the screen, despite having the love of many, you still are a person with anxieties and insecurities, and my attempts to gain your favour and friendship with you in a roundabout manner has instead made you frustrated that your point has not been heard and that I was being disrespectful.

I have many reasons for being very difficult while replying to you, reasons that might just seem like excuses, but ones that i would like to put in perspective on my state when I answered you then. I would not fault you if you do not wish to converse with me, but I would try to listen properly to you next time, not as a fan to an idol, but as peer equals, if you wish of it.

P.S, it is not that I think your art was Bad, it is merely that it made me have many conflicting feelings that had nothing to do with your art, merely the memories your artstyle invoked within me. This, too, I will explain to you chat-to-chat, if you would give me a second chance to do so.

I did not exactly give you the full context in that reblog with that one, and perhaps it would have been better if i had straight up said my admiration straight away and directly, too strong of an approach or not, to avoid such misunderstanding."

Or, if this is too long for you then = Tl;dr : Your artsyle was good and fine but it also reminded of my old art from when i was in middle and high school years and those were sort of stressful times and the detail of your blushes also reminded me of those very flashy detailed artstyle some other artist used that was very cluttered to my eyes and it activated a flight/fight instinct of sorts. Additionally the fact that you posted it publicly on your blog brought back my thoughts on existential crisis plus the mortification of being seen and known but contrasted with the disheartening reality of being passed over and ignored.

Sincerely, actually-a-fan-of-yours-but-also-dealing-with-the-fact-that-i-may-have-issues-that-i-should-examine-to-avoid-projection

P.S.S. I do want to be friends still, and will try to be not be weird again.